Eat A Banana

  • June 2020
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Eat A Banana Today GOOD NEWS, GUYS!!!! We can throw away all of our crappy pharma drugs. I just got this great news in my email… ….

A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression “going bananas” is from the effects of bananas on the brain. Read on:

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. (No more hunting for those nasty street drug amphetimines). No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes. But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. ( Ya ever seen an athlete being busted for being on bananas?) It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, ma king it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression:According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. ( Just think about it. All this time we were sitting in a corner licking the walls or hiding under a blanket, we could have been eating bananas!)

PMS:Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. ( Bananas do not cause murderous rages. However, I don’t think you can use a “banana defense” in a court of law. Just my opinion. I am not a lawyer).

Anemia:High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia. ( Hope it doesn’t turn the blood yellow).

Blood Pressure:This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke. (How many people have you ever seen have a stroke while eating a delicious banana?)

Brain Power:200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. ( hmmm….maybe, monkey are smarter than humans).

Constipation:High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives. (can be used as a stool softener if placed in the right end, too).

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Hangovers:One of the quickestways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with

honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. ( I have a little bit of a problem with this one. I can’t recall one single time that I’ve had a hangover that I felt like turning on a damn blender and making a milkshake. Hey…..I’ll get my smart monkey to do it!)

Heartburn:Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. ( ‘Nanas for nausea? Where’s that patent attorney’s number?)

Morning Sickness:Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness. ( Yummy……declious bananas between puke sessions)

Mosquito bites:Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rub bing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find itamazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation. ( and we all know how many of us keep bananas in our pockets while on safari or whatever)

Nerves:Bananas are high in B-vitamins that help calm the nervous system.( gonna run to the grocery store as soon as I post this!)

Overweightand at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to

gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady. ( no comment…..laughing to hard at the picture in my head of an office full of chubbies all eating bananas)

Ulcers:The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and

smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes overacidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach. ( probably true. I’ve never seen an ape drinking Milk of Magnesia)

Temperature control:Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the

physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.( why, oh why, couldn’t I have learned this before I had bad tempered kids? I would have sooooo loved a cool temp baby)

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan. (laughing again…..picturing long-faced, sad people sitting at windows eating bananas)

Smoking &Tobacco Use:Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B-6, B-12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal. (another idea…..smoke a banana).

Stress:Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels.. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack. (I’m feeling ill thinking about all the money that I have spent on “miracles in a bottle” when all of this damn time, I could have had a banana instead! Wonder if the pharma companies know this. Hey…maybe, they do and we are all actually taking ground up bananas)

Strokes:According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%! ( I’ve already covered this one above).

Warts:Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!( bwahaha…..nice touch to any outfit)

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, “ A banana a day keeps the doctor away!”

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