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Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to [email protected], or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.

We don’t want to get in the middle of it … oh wait, we already are. Dear Weekly Dig, In last week’s quality-of-life index (Bean Counter, 12.3.08), you mentioned that the Gypsy Bar and my peers at Emerson College were having a dispute over smoking turf. As an Emersonian who values her lung capacity, I am not one of these kids being sent to $40,000 higher education, only to stand outside in the cold and kill myself slowly. However, I, too, have a beef with the Gypsy Bar folks. When their patrons leave, they proceed out to the street and often begin yelling at each other. This would be fine if it weren’t in the middle of the night on weekdays. Between them, the suitemates and the random 1am construction, every evening I end up stuffing my ears and burying my very well-educated head in my pillows, in an attempt to get some rest before the next day of classes. In the spirit of the holidays, please, people: Between 2 and 6am, cordially SHUT UP. Laura Boston

Media Farm gets dark and angry, is accused of being fluffy ... Dear Farmers, You managed to base an entire anti-fluff article on the false and unsupported assumption that

EXIT POLLS Tibetan scarves and Zubaz ONLINE Recipes to satiate the carnivore on your list

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PS Awesome in-depth investigative report on fake dangerous toys a couple pages later (Kiddie Kroakers, 12.3.08). Hard-hitting, serious journalism at its best.

I feel like that (Media Farm, 12.3.08) is what I am thinking 90 percent of the time when I look right at the “most read”/”most emailed” stories on the Times website. Thanks!

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… and right.

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ARTS 826 Boston auction is a must-attend event / Stella member chats us up / Expanded holiday Dig That!

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“most emailed” article lists reflect the mostread articles (Media Farm, 12.3.08). Why would someone email an article on the Mumbai attacks that anyone could read about anywhere? Surely people email a story to someone else only after reading many other stories. It is similarly disingenuous to bash articles based on their subject matter rather than their merit in presenting it. What is inherently “asinine” about people being interested in: the most significant cultural technology of our time; workplace-related health; the re-evaluation of standardized testing in academe; the amazing abilities of animals; and the quest for cheap fun in a historically bad economy? The only thing inherently asinine is your derogatory descriptions of these subjects. Congratulations on being the fluff you pretend to de-fluff.

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FILM We Doubt it’ll do much for Streep / Helvetica—a design revolution / Cadillac Records gets some love

LETTERS

Send your thoughts to [email protected] or 242 East Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. All letters may be edited for length, clarity and accuracy. Please include all contact information.

MUSIC Bob Diesel’s disco in the list / Drum & Bass DJ Adam F in the mix / The Wandas get plugged / Big Bear freaks you out

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EATS + DRINKS Second Glass’ guide to gifting wine / Give the give of meat / LUPEC: brunch bloodfest / BeerAdvocate: Trinity IPA

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Dear Pink-Fleece-Jacket-Clad Yuppie Bunghole I encountered Nov. 19th at Centre and Green streets in JP: When you deliberately parked your little black car directly across the crosswalk, totally blocking it and its wheelchair ramp, and I calmly said, “It’s illegal to park in a crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly said, “I’m picking up my dry cleaning,” and I calmly replied, “It’s rude, dangerous and illegal to park in a crosswalk,” and you irrelevantly said, “Thank you,” while continuing toward the dry cleaning place, and I calmly replied, “Fuck you,” I did not mean it literally. I am clarifying this because you obviously live such an entitled life you are probably unused to being challenged and might not understand such terms. Here is what I mean by a metaphorical “fuck you.” While you were in the shop, I took a cellphone photo of your illegally parked car with its New Jersey license plate. Now, it’s possible that someone who drives so badly actually is from New Jersey and feeling right at home here. But I doubt someone would come all the way from Jersey just to do dry cleaning. No, it’s much more likely you bought a condo up here but kept your out-of-state registration to get cheaper insurance—insurance you probably need a lot, being a reckless yuppie bunghole. Now, I could be wrong. But I’ll let the cops, the RMV and state insurance officials who love to crack down on scofflaws sort out my little photo. I get that my life is far less important to you than getting stains out of your jogging shorts. But your privilege to drive is far less important to me than either of them. Sincerely, White As You, But One Million Times Less Yuppie

DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE The Dig’s guide to gifts that are in-stock and awaiting your purchase / Milton Station / Purses to make friends green with envy

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tak toyoshima

You’re being stretched between a tough economy and guilt about your consumerist culture on one hand, and a desire to help jump-start the economy and give the obligatory token of love on the other. Those conflicting instincts are hitting some of your fellow human beings pretty hard, since three people have died in shopping-related accidents this year. So, in the interest of survival, here’s the holiday gift guide for everyone on your list, from your uncle to your coworker to your lover. And if that’s not enough for ya, check out the expanded Dig That section, which reviews all the DVDs you can rip from the shelves and cling to your bosom. The Department of Commerce cooks up the gift of easy recipes from your favorite local chefs. And we grinches in the News section stuff your stocking with lumps of coal: toll hikes and pink slips. And here’s a helpful holiday tip: Don’t buy wasteful wrapping paper! Just cut up your old clothes (wash them first) then wrap your presents with them! It’s like giving two gifts! Wait … no. Scratch that. Donate your old jeans to Goodwill, and wrap your presents with your favorite stylin’ weekly. Because this rag will look great wrapped around whiskey rocks or a new vibrator (guess which one’s for your uncle?!).

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DEAR READER,

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VOL 10 + ISSUE 49

NEWS Senators who are leaving you / How many CVS stores are in your neighborhood? / Media Farm gets with the giving

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COVER ARTIST | Anke Weckmann lives in London and has been working as a freelance illustrator since she graduated in 2005. She spends all of her time drawing and drinking tea and couldn’t imagine anything better. Her drawings have appeared in magazines, books, on greeting cards and T-shirts. You can see more of her work at linotte.net If you’re a local artist interested in submitting work for our cover or for the Dig This spread, send samples to Tak Toyoshima, at [email protected].

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12 10 08 – 12 17 08



President-elect Obama on his secretary of commerce nominee, Gov. Bill Richardson, who shaved. 12.3.08

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store or restaurant. “This is an attack on my neighborhood,” LaMattina said. But, as the Turnpike is a state organization, there’s little the Boston City Council can do about it. “They can voice their disapproval, but as far as I know, they don’t have any powers over the Turnpike Authority,” says Mac Daniel, spokesman for the Turnpike Authority, the body that will vote on the toll hike. “That’s not to say that their voice isn’t important.” The board approved the hike in a preliminary vote last month, but they are required by law to hold two public hearings before they make a decision (last week’s rally was not an official Turnpike hearing). The Pike is holding four in the next month, with one in Boston this Wednesday. “A lot of people think these hearings are all wish-wash,” says Daniel, “but they do have—and have had—an influence on past toll increases.” [Lolly Spindler]

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the two. We don’t want our businesses closing down. Then we’d have empty storefronts, and that affects our real estate value,” she told the Dig. “You cannot balance the books of the Mass. Turnpike Authority on the backs of the residents of the North End, South Boston and East Boston.” Others who voiced concerns included members of the Taxi Drivers Association. After deducting the toll charges from fares, one driver claimed he’d “have to work for nothing because of the mismanaged Mass. Turnpike Authority.” Yet another issue raised was that of nonprofits whose volunteers may not be able to contribute as much if the toll increases go into effect. LaMattina said he’d received complaints from business owners who were concerned their businesses would suffer, as customers would be less inclined to pay a $7 toll to patronize their favorite

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Last week, approximately 100 concerned Bostonians attended a meeting hosted by City Councilors Salvatore LaMattina and Bill Linehan about the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority’s planned toll increases. City Councilors Stephen Murphy, Michael Ross and Sam Yoon, as well as Mayor Menino, also attended. Menino expressed his disappointment with the Turnpike Authority. “The people and businesses of Boston were not considered or consulted before planning to radically increase tolls in and around our city,” he said. The tolls would be jacked up from $3.50 to $7 for the Ted Williams and Sumner tunnels. Residents of Eastie and the North End would not be directly affected by the hike, since they benefit from a resident discount (which predates the Big Dig) that allows them to go through the tunnels for 40 cents. But Joanne Anzalone, president of the North End Chamber of Commerce and owner of Anzalone Realty, testified that the quality of life for residents depends on local businesses. “It concerns the entire North End, both from a residential and commercial standpoint. You can’t separate

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patrick maloney, George Weinstein. got some random photos? submit them to [email protected]

Toll hike on the Pike

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couldn’t make it to the goodbye and a letter was read on his behalf. “I leave office with great pride and comfort in the knowledge that Massachusetts leads the world in fostering a more inclusive, tolerant and just society,” he wrote, alluding to the Legislature’s defeat of a proposed constitutional amendment to repeal gay marriage this past May. “On that day, Massachusetts reaffirmed its historic role as the conscience of our nation.” Augustus’ seat has been filled by the election of Millbury Democrat Michael Moore. Sen. Pamela Resor, D-Acton, chairwoman of the Environment, Natural Resources and Agriculture Committee, served in the House from 1991 until she switched to the Senate in 1999. During the farewell, she was lauded for her environmental fervor, which helped this past session to be a watershed for green matters. Resor, the first woman ever elected to the Senate from her district, was described as knowing that you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to be the most persuasive.

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Bribe-taking and sexual assault charges aside, the Massachusetts State Senate has seen some changes this election year, and four state senators have opted not to run for reelection on their own accord. Senators Robert Antonioni, Edward Augustus, Robert Creedon Jr. and Pam Resor are leaving the State House. Last Thursday in the Senate chamber, the senators and their colleagues reminisced on sessions past. Senate President Therese Murray welcomed the congregation with three bangs of her gavel. “Today, we salute four senators,” she said before the ceremonial goodbyes began. Sen. Edward Augustus Jr., D-Worcester, decided to move on after two terms in office. Augustus, who at age 24 began his political career as the youngest person to head the Worcester School Committee, made public education a focus of his senatorial career. Murray applauded his efforts to increase school funding and reduce the number of high school dropouts. Augustus, who currently chairs the Election Laws Committee,

“I think it was a mistake for him to get rid of it. I thought that whole Western, rugged look was really working for him. For some reason, maybe because it was scratchy when he kissed his wife, he was forced to get rid of it, but we’re deeply disappointed with the loss of the beard.” ---

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Four senators step down without scandal

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Bye Bye, beacon hill

Sen. John Kerry talking about students voting for Barack Obama, without a hint of where-were-you-in-2004 bitterness. Really. 12.2.08

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“I think they made a lot of the difference this year. I think they’re essential.” ---



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Sen. Harriette Chandler, D-Worcester, reminded the crowd that Resor’s career began à la Erin Brockovich, when in 1981, she served on the Acton Board of Health and soon after as a selectman fighting contamination of the town’s water supply by W.R. Grace Co. In her closing remarks, Resor begged her colleagues to “please, please do everything needed to protect resources throughout Massachusetts and make it a truly green commonwealth.” Resor’s successor is Jamie Eldridge, an Acton-born Democrat who managed Resor’s reelection campaign in 1998 and who is currently serving as a state representative. Sen. Robert Antonioni, D-Leominster, served two terms in the House before joining the Senate in 1992. He co-chairs the Education Committee, and Murray cheered his efforts in education, specifically his aid in procuring $7 million for public schools and support for special education programs statewide. Stephen M. Brewer, D-Barre, cited Antonioni’s role as chairman during a 10-hour hearing that defeated the death penalty. Antonioni explained his decision to move on was inspired by his sister’s suggestion that he “get a life.” Antonioni will be replaced by Jennifer Flanagan, D-Leominster, who’s currently a state rep. Sen. Robert Creedon Jr., D-Brockton, a state representative from 1969 until 1972, joined the Senate in 1997 when his brother, Michael Creedon, gave up his seat to accept a judicial appointment. He’s a longtime chair of the Judiciary Committee, and is leaving to work as clerk of courts in Plymouth County. Sen. Richard Moore, D-Uxbridge, had the chamber yakking it up as he joked about Creedon’s long-winded tangents, his “old school” political cred and his media wariness. “What you need is openness and, frankly, we had more of it then than we have now,” Creedon said of the media on Beacon Hill, despite his own “non-relationship with the press.” Creedon will be succeeded by Thomas Kennedy,, D-Brockton, who declared his candidacy within minutes of Creedon’s retirement announcement back in April. The senators’ stepping down opens up chairmanships of key committees like the Judiciary (a powerful committee that must pass any bill to change state law, and where bills often go to die). It also offers fresh blood (or blood transferred from the House), in a state where incumbents are rarely challenged and seldom defeated. The senators officially step down when their replacements are sworn in, on January 7th.

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CVS doesn’t care about black people? A nationwide report accusing CVS Caremark Corp. of substandard and prejudiced practices spurred several activists to express outrage over the local implications of discrimination by the nation’s largest drugstore chain at a press conference last week. “We are concerned about the lack of CVS stores in low-income neighborhoods and neighborhoods of color,” said Karen Payne, president of the Boston NAACP. “CVS needs to become a responsible partner.” The 40-page “Cure CVS” report released by the labor coalition Change to Win (CtW), results from a 14-month investigation of CVS stores throughout the US. The study found that in Greater Boston, there are nearly three times as many CVS stores per person in neighborhoods with a 90-plus-percent white population than in neighborhoods that are more than 90 percent people of color, and fewer stores per person in neighborhoods with median annual household incomes below $40,000 than in those with median incomes above $80,000. Eva Millona, executive director of the Massachusetts Immigrant and Refugee Advocacy Coalition, explained that the lack of available CVS stores in immigrant neighborhoods contradicts CVS’ purported

mission. The report found that fewer of the newly established MinuteCare clinics—which are advertised as an affordable alternative to a doctor’s office or emergency room—operate in low-income communities and communities of color. Millona stressed that these are critical for immigrants “who are afraid to go to the hospital because they are afraid that their status might be reported.” CVS spokesperson Michael DeAngelis offered this statement: “The allegation that we concentrate stores in white neighborhoods compared to our competitors is simply untrue … CVS holds the number one or number two market share in eight of the top 10 US markets with the largest non-white populations.” Boston isn’t included in his list of regional markets. CtW organizer Kate Titus added that CVS overcharges customers, improperly disposes of medical records and carries expired products. At the press conference, a table displayed expired CVS products including milk, baby formula and children’s Maalox, which CtW had collected the previous day from five of 10 Boston CVS stores they’d visited. “The proof is in the milk,” said CtW organizer Faron McLurkin. No one dared to take a sip. [Alexandra Dednah]

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Designer Apparel for 1/3 of the Original Price 482 Columbus Avenue Boston, MA 02118 617-236-5838 www.armoireboston.com

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WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08



MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUYS who happen to be media moguls get to have all the fun, don’t they? While we literate peons have to scourge to find credible sources of information, they shuffle our conglomerated dailies around, passing them to each other like Christmas presents. First, noted Australian-conservative-mogul-withmore-money-thanGod Rupert Murdoch gave Boston Herald publisher and Murdoch clone Pat Purcell executive ownership of Ottaway Newspapers Inc. (“Merry Hanukkah, Pat!” he allegedly said). Ottaway includes local dailies like the Cape Cod Times, Nantucket’s Inquirer and Mirror, and the Standard-Times in New Bedford. Ottaway was a bonus starter-pack that came with the Wall Street Journal when News Corp. purchased it last year. Of course, Purcell and Murdoch are old pals, since Citizen Murdoch bought the Herald in 1985. Then in 1988, eeeevil Sen. Ted Kennedy pointed out that Murdoch, who owns Fox Broadcasting (and thereby our local Fox affiliate), was breaking a 1975 Federal Communications Commission antimonopoly rule (which was since “relaxed” in 2007) that prohibits ownership of a TV station and a paper in the same local market. The paper continued to shit money for a couple of years under Murdoch’s reign, until 1994, when he sold the Herald to Purcell. And the Herald is still shitting money today! And now those two knuckleheads are together again, and rumor has it Murdoch might try to save the Herald (unlike the last time he had anything to do with it)!!! The more papers are shuffled among a select group of media moguls, the more things stay the same. Also, last week, Stephen Mindich and son bought out Spanish-language weekly El Planeta. Phoenix Media, Mindich’s baby has been an investor in El Planeta for years, and already prints and distributes it. Bradley Mindich is claiming that El Planeta has a circulation of 50,000, and that’s what their media kit—which

figures with the tube sock of a 10,000 or so (that metaphor’s a gift for you, Mindich) is meant to impress advertisers, but would you be seduced by a circulation that “varies”? AND SPEAKING OF wobbling numbers, did anyone else check out last week’s Phoenix insert tribute to 101.7 FM, aka, WFNX? The Phoenix reserved a full-page ad in itself, congratulating FNX (which is part of the Phoenix Media empire) on it’s 25th birthday. Isn’t that kind of like writing yourself a love letter?

boasts the Verified circulation auditor’s seal—says as well … of course, it also says “circulation may vary week to week.” But the most recent Verified reports, from March 2008, indicate El Planeta’s circulation for New England totaled 34,431. You have to hand it to Mindich: Niche markets are a smart investment right now, and there are over 400,000 Spanish speakers in the Commonwealth … that’s a significant “niche.” And El Planeta has

“We guess stuffing the pants of your circulation figures with the tube sock of a 10,000 or so (that metaphor’s a gift for you, Mindich) is meant to impress advertisers.” been such a success story, with Javier Marin and Jon Urruzuno launching the weekly out of Brookline in 2004 and distributing it out of the back of their van to offer much-needed local Spanishlanguage reporting … so why inflate the numbers for something that’s already impressive and important? We guess stuffing the pants of your circulation

SO, YOU MIGHT be wondering, with all these wealthy dudes spending cash on presents for themselves, what’s there for a pleb like me? Well, here’s a little something from boston.com: Their eminent tech writer/ geeky dreamboat Hiawatha Bray is back, with a new webicle! The video isn’t as funny as his last one (in which he scoffed at people waiting in line to buy the new iPhone with a pleasant, lilting hatred), but this one does feature him aimlessly documenting random boring shit on Boston Common, armed with a backpack, flag pin, two cameras and a disturbingly wide grin. The voiceover for the video has its moments, from “Believe it or not, this is Boston in December. I’m saving this gorgeous day for posterity … with not one, but two video cameras, each small enough to fit in a shirt pocket” to “Still, the MinoHD takes marvelous pictures. If you’ve only got one shirt pocket, this is the video camera to carry.” But, because Bray does his job (unlike, say, Alex Beam, who, in case you care, hates dangerous toys lists and bought his son a slingshot … apparently Beam’s job description is still “cranky old man”), most of the video is a legit review comparing two gadgets. We recommend seeing it once for reals and then with the sound off; on mute, it feels like you’re watching someone with too many toys have a very pleasant acid trip. And isn’t that what the holiday season is all about? TIPS? THOUGHTS? [email protected]

alexandra charrow

Well, it ain’t murder, but OJ Simpson has been sentenced to at least 15 years in prison for trying to steal back things he claimed had been stolen from him. EVEN Boston might finally get flying cars! In just three weeks, Woburn is testing its first “roadable aircrafts.” With any luck we’ll finally ditch the quickly deteriorating Ts and hitch us some high-powered flyin’ machines. MINUS 1 A photograph of Worcester native and Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau cupping the boob of a cardboard Hillary Clinton cut-out materialized on Facebook last week. Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines’ response? “Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application.” Can this administration get any wackier? PLUS 1 Speaking of, Clinton’s vacated Senate seat is causing quite a stir, as everyone likes Caroline Kennedy (especially Red Sox fans), but Fran Drescher (aka the Nanny) would gladly take the seat, in case anyone cares. EVEN Former State Sen. Dianne Wilkerson appears in court for federal arraignment and … urp … bail review, proving yet again that a $23,500 bribe is not worth a $50,000 bail bond. Hey, and good luck finding an impartial jury for this one! MINUS 1 Most of the money raised by former Gov. Mitt Romney’s political action committee has not gone toward supporting other GOP candidates (par for the course), but toward hiring his own staff for a possible 2012 presidential run. Can you imagine a primary debate between him and Palin? Between his equivocating and her tenuous grasp on the English language, logical thought would spontaneously combust. MINUS 1 This week’s total: MINUS 4 Last week’s total: MINUS 23

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In a spectacular display of irony, Lorraine Henderson, the regional director of Homeland Security, Customs and Border Protection, has been charged with hiring undocumented immigrants to clean her home. EVEN

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Orders of chicken wings have gone down with the recession. That’s one drastic cure to America’s obesity problem. PLUS 1

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A few weeks ago, I was laid off. The organization I worked for lost a few million dollars (don’t you just hate it when that happens?) and had to cut 30 jobs. Of course, I’m not alone in my current predicament. As economic times worsen and then worsen some more—a 20-year veteran at the Massachusetts Division of Unemployment Assistance told me that the month of November was the “worst she’s ever seen it”—companies have been laying off employees at a rate higher than that of teenage pregnancy in Gloucester. These days, if you haven’t been laid off yourself, you know someone who has been. Unfortunately, many companies are new to the mass-firing scene. Nonprofits, for example, known for their touchy-feely handling of employees, have no idea how to manage their new responsibilities— which is why a few “don’ts” may help guide them as they continue to crush hopes and dreams. For starters, don’t lay employees off on a national holiday. Or, say, Election Day. On November 4th, the agency I worked for announced that they might have to/probably would be eliminating half the staff. Talk about a buzz kill. Let’s just say that there were two reasons I drank an entire bottle of champagne on election night. Don’t make your employees sit through weeks or months of limbo. For an entire week, my former coworkers and I anxiously played Guess Who’s Getting Canned (as in “It’s gonna be me.” “No, let me tell you why it’s gonna be me.”) If I have an ulcer, it’s on my previous employer … though after stripping me of my health insurance, what the fuck do they care? Another piece of advice: Don’t tell some employees and not others who’s getting the axe prior to the axing. This seems obvious, but then, a lot of what I’m writing seems obvious. You’re shutting down my income, my insurance, my daily purpose and my future plans. Do you really have to ruin the few friendships I managed to create while working for you? Lose the armed guards. Seriously. When a friend of mine was laid off last week, a dude with a gun on his belt escorted him to his office, watched as he gathered his things, and then walked him out of the building. My friend had given four years of his life to that place. Not to mention the fact that thus far, he hadn’t tried to kill any of his coworkers. Didn’t he deserve better? One final tip: When you show your employees the door, also show them a modicum of respect. Save the condescending condolences for the wife you verbally abuse at home. Times are shitty. We all have to do our part to make them a little less so. And while I know that there’s really no good way to throw employees out on the street, you may still be able to salvage your reputation—and your human decency.

WORDS

Fire me the right way

The construction at Copley Station has been halted indefinitely as the installation of elevator shafts cracked the foundation of Old South Church. Church services, including a wedding, will continue as scheduled. That’s good news, since the last thing the MBTA needs is an angry bridezilla on its hands. MINUS 2

comedy

soapbox by julie bogart

Comics

Run out and get your Bratz dolls now, as the dolls will be discontinued after Christmas. MGA Entertainment lost their legal battle to Mattel and was ordered to discontinue their inexplicably popular product. EVEN

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The MBTA has converted two cars on the Red Line to hold only four seats in a car for the elderly and the disabled. The rest of the general public will suffer great paranoia that is only heightened by the existence of the anti-groping effort being made by the MBTA. MINUS 1

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The Dig’s quality-of-life index

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Bean Counter



WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

10

last-minute holiday shopping guide

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Whether en route to a party, the family dinner or that special celebratory date, chances are you may have forgotten someone on your list. That, or you’re waiting for a mid-month paycheck. Whatever your reasons, we’re here to make the shopping schlep as painless as possible. Online ordering will take some advance planning, but procrastinators can’t be choosers.

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COMPILED BY JAMIE GRANOFF | WRITTEN BY DIG STAFF ILLUSTRATIONS BY ELLEN CRENSHAW

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Gifts to compliment impromptu consumption

gift guide

essential

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second glass | last-minutes saviors

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lupec | bloody mary

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eats | Charcuterie

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green land | canopy verde

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yelpstop | milton station

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coworker WRITER’S BLOCK NOTEPAD | $10

This colorful assortment of paper will make a neighboring trashcan more appealing when your aspiring novelist coworker gets stuck on Chapter 37. Hey, at least you don’t have to hear about the story (maybe). [Available at Black Ink, 5 Brattle St., Cambridge. 617.497.1221. blackinkboston.com]

Carve-your-own card | $14

Whittle your own tidings with these wooden postcards, using keys (or other sharp object) to hand-carve your message. Your mailman may suffer a splinter, but that newbie in accounting might finally respond to your Gchat invites. [Available at the ICA Store, 100 Northern Ave., Boston. 617.478.3100. icastore.org]

ITTY BITTY BUDDHA | $7.95

That peace-loving, beatnik colleague will definitely appreciate a small Buddha that comes with incense, incense holder, a book about Buddhism (so he’ll finally know what the hell he’s talking about) and packaging that turns into a portable shrine. [Available at Hidden Sweets, 25 Brattle St., Cambridge. 617.497.2600. hiddensweets.com]

LIGHT-BLUE CRYSTAL PEN | $8.95 Spork | $3

Before “internet” and “liger,” there was “spork,” everyone’s favorite portmanteau. Though one of the only items used almost exclusively in schools and prisons, it’s also perfect for slurping Ramen at your desk. [Available at The Museum of Useful Things, themut.com]

DISAPPEARING CIVIL LIBERTIES MUG | $9.99

A great “fuck you” gift for that crotchety coworker who’s still angry John McCain lost. The Bill of Rights inscribed on the side of this mug vanishes when you pour a hot liquid inside it. [Available at Newbury Comics, newburycomics.com]

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

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“Buy your friend a drink” gift card | prices vary

Drink for the job you want! Pink slip-proof your position by buying your cubicle neighbor a cocktail. These gift cards are redeemable at bars and restaurants like Good Life and Om. Make it a two-martini lunch and get one for yourself, too. [Available at BuyYourFriendADrink.com]

Like, oh my god! This pen totally will make rainbows and sparkles dance around the room! Is that coworker just too perky before you’ve had your second cup of coffee? Smack her over the head with this gem. [Available at Papyrus at the Prudential Center, 800 Boylston St., Boston. 617.262.6520. papyrusonline.com]

DA BOMB STICKY NOTES | $1.50

For the hopelessly uncool, these sticky notes will expand slang vocabulary and teach one how to properly use “da bomb” in a sentence. Bonus gift to you, knowing it’ll irk your cube-mates even more. [Available at Knock Knock, knockknock.biz]

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family

(nuclear)

WHISKEY STONES | $15

Because your grizzled Grandpa (or Grandma!) loves whiskey on the rocks but hates it when those rocks melt and make the drink all watery and prissy. Whiskey Stones retain the cold to keep a glass-o-booze at the perfect temperature, and they're completely reusable, so Gramps can get crunk on a regular basis. [Available at Lekker Unique Home Furnishings, 1317 Washington St., Boston. 617.542.6464. lekkerhome.com]

CHRISTMAS CHOCOLATE BOX | $18 Walking through the door come Christmas, divert attention from your new neck tattoo with a box of chocolates. Especially these little guys—in a cute wooden box, you get 16 chocolates and their signature mouse. Pair it with some Cabernet to be extra lush. And buy a turtleneck. [Available at LA Burdick Chocolate, 52-D Brattle St., Cambridge. 617.491.4340. burdickchocolate.com]

“You Annoy Me” 8” x 10” print | $50

Give the gift of truth to your tween-angsty sibling. Local artist Kati Rowley’s pen and ink drawing with fingerprinted text is available matted and ready to frame. With love. [Available at Koo De Kir, koodekir.com]

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INMAN OASIS GIFT CERTIFICATE | $25 Treat the woman who was in labor with you for 4,789 HOURS to a 15-minute chair massage and 15-30 minutes of tub time. [Available at Inman Oasis, 243 Hampshire St., Cambridge. 617.491.0176. inmanoasis.com]

VINAIGRETTE SET | $72.80

Assist in the kitchen, even from afar! For the cook, this package of olive oil from Greece and vinaigrette from Modena, Italy, plus salt mix for pastas and salads, black pepper from Madagascar and olive-wood salad utensils, is sure to delight. [Available at O&Co, 161 Newbury St., Boston. 617.859.8841. oliviersandco.com]

TEMPUR-PEDIC SLIPPERS | $39.99

Like heaven-sent foot pillows, these cush slippers will hug your mom’s every step. While Tempur-pedic’s bedding (also cloud-like) may fall outside of your price range, theeir functional footwear does not. [Available at Brookstone, 100 Huntington Ave., Boston. 617.267.4308. brookstone.com]

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family

(extended)

MEN IN DENIM MEN’S T-SHIRT | $30

Blue-collar family? Let us rephrase. Blue-blooded paterfamilias? Nope, wrong again. How about: If a T-shirt and jeans are his standard work uniform, consider getting this for your uncle.

FRUIT-POWERED ALARM CLOCK | $15 The perfect gift for the future scientist in your family. It may look like a bomb when it’s assembled, but don’t be mistaken … this toy is more like DA BOMB! [Cringe—Ed.] [Available at Fat Brain Toys, fatbraintoys.com]

[Available Proletariat, 36 JFK St., Cambridge. 617.661.3865. arevolt.netfirms.com]

THOMAS PAUL MATRYOSKA RED TOTE | $36

There is something about those little Russian dolls that really gets people going. Maybe it’s the idea that you get more bang for your buck. Either way, this bag should be a hit for anyone who loves nesting … dolls. [Available at Grand, 374 Somerville Ave., Somerville. 617.623.2429. grandthestore.com]

BUBBLE WRAP CALENDAR | $29.99 This calendar was made for the obsessivecompulsive or anyone who just gets an overwhelming satisfaction from popping things—like your face! Just looking at them all could make one take off their shoes and stomp for instant gratification, but nay—just one a day. [Available at PrankPlace, prankplace.com]

TABLE SOCCER FOOSBALL | $40 Nieces and nephews alike will relish their time spent with this foosball table. While inexpensive and convenient for you, it will be a chance for them to explore competitive sports outside of beer pong.

HOLLY GOLIGHTLY SLEEP MASK | $14

If life were like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, things would be pretty sweet. Who wouldn’t want to be a classy call girl with multiple identities that runs away from her family and still gets a happy ending? With this sleep mask, at least your granny can dream about it. [Available at Fredflare, fredflare.com]

[Available at Urban Outfitters, 361 Newbury St., Boston. 617.236.0088. urbanoutfitters.com]

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STICKER FRAMES | $25.95 MARC JACOBS GEM NECKLACE | $19

Can’t afford that $1,500 Marc Jacobs handbag? Well we’re bringing your loved ones a very small step closer to those designer goods. It’s only $19 and your aunt can go around saying things like, “Watch it, it’s Marc Jacobs.” [Available at Marc Jacobs, 81 Newbury St., Boston. 617.425.0707. marcjacobs.com]

Say goodbye to your wooden and plastic frames. These stickers allow your great-grandmother to have all your favorite pictures on display without taking up valuable space. [Available at Paper Source, 338 Boylston St., Boston. 617.536.3444. paper-source.com]

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host/ hostess

Port and Chocolate GIFT BASKET | $49.95

Ring in 2009 with this Dionysian basket of pleasure and witness subsequent influx of future party invitations. A bottle of Bogle Petit Sirah Port with a Vosges chocolate bar and a Café-Tasse bar is perfect for sharing on New Year’s Eve. [Available at Wine Gallery, wine-gallery.com]

CANDY CANE SHOT GLASSES | $6.95 for set of two Shot glasses made out of delicious candy cane. The perfect at-the-ready hostess will delight (and ponder which booze will work best) when you present her with this functional and fun spin on glassware. [Available at KitchenArts, 161 Newbury St., Boston. 617.266.8701. store.kitchenarts.biz]

MINI LED CHANDELIER | $20 Keep it classy with this mini chandelier. Add ambiance to any Allston abode instantly with this decorative lighting scheme that screams aesthetically appealing and friendly to the frugal. [Available at Joie de Vivre, 1792 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.864.8188. joiedevivre.net]

TOOTHPICK VOODOO DOLL HOLDER | $12 Not too excited about that holiday get-together? Be polite while plotting to destroy with this charming toothpick holder. Both functional and fun—toy for some, a weapon for others. [Available at Funusual, 8 North Market, Faneuil Hall Marketplace, Boston. 617.439.8840. funusual.com]

Lavender Hand soap | $12 Engineered by specialists from “the oldest apothecary in America,” this soap will leave fresh even the most Dorito-stained fingers, while the lavender infusion relaxes your likely wigging-out hostess. [Available at C.O. Bigelow, Copley Place Mall, 100 Huntington Ave., Boston. 617.236.7257. bigelowchemists.com]

PHILLIPS CANDY HOUSE HOT COCOA | $6.50

Help heat up your host’s soirée with hot cocoa from Boston’s oldest chocolatier. Throw some vanilla Dr. McGillicuddy’s in the mix, and you may as well gather outside. [Available at Phillips Candy House, 818 Morrissey Blvd., Boston. 617.282.2090. phillipschocolate.com]

HANUKKAH COOKIE CUTTERS

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MAD GAB | $32 Board games, especially played while intoxicated, are crowd pleasers. Designated driver? Well, your host is still sure to get a kick out of how absolutely moronic her party will sound while playing this game. [Available at The Games People Play, 1100 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.492.0711. thegamespeopleplaycambridge.com]

| $3.95 each These dreidel, Star of David and menorah shapes are bound to make the Jewish-mother-in-training of your crew go wild. They’re doubly useful as stencils for an arts and crafts get-together (read: Enlist your friends to help decorate, drunkenly). [Available at Crate & Barrel, 199 Boylston St., Chestnut Hill. 617.964.8400. crateandbarrel.com]

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SEPHORA SCENT SAMPLER FOR HIM AND HER | $50 each

[Available at the ICA, 100 Northern Ave., Boston. 617.478.3100. icaboston.org]

A + E Music movies arts comedy

[Available at Oak, 31 Gloucester St., Boston. 857.362.7311. oakboston.com]

FLEUR DE LIS CUFFLINKS | $56.25

A little flourish never hurt anyone. These mother of pearl and onyx baubles will add a little distinction to any French cuff.

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[Available at J Press, 82 Mt. Auburn St., Cambridge. 617.547.9886. jpressonline.com]

Comics

ICA Boston Dual Membership | $95 Staring into each other’s eyes while using words like “visceral experience” and “sensory juxtaposition” is great intellectual stimulation. With a dual membership, it’s also a gift to yourself—shh, they’ll never know.

Every family has one—they email you Words of the Day and subscribe to ESPN just for the annual US Scrabble Open. This adorable necklace will win you points with the word freak in your fam.

Classifieds

[Available at Good Vibrations, 308-A Harvard St., Brookline. 617.264.4400. goodvibes.com]

Sterling Silver Scrabble Letter Necklace | $75

ADULT

RABBIT HABIT | $82 How considerate will you look when she unwraps this orgasm-inducing superstar? Time will only tell. Yes, it’s the vibrator made famous on Sex and the City, but the Habit is the updated design.

WORDS

[Available at Sephora, 800 Boylston St., Boston. 617.262.4200. sephora.com]

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Taking the guesswork out of perfumery, this ingenious set allows your beloved to sample scents at home (allowing one’s natural chemistry to also take full effect) and redeem the enclosed voucher for the cologne of their choice.

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FLOYD’S CUT | $26 For those who have yet to get the hint. Floyd’s is the new game in town—the barber shop with a hip twist. For the dude, nothing but nothing beats a face shave, and your girl will melt with a massage shampoo. [Available at Floyd’s 99, 189 Mass. Ave., Boston. 617.236.4838. floydsbarbershop.com]

Chocolate Tasting: “From Bean to Bar” class | $55

Fruity? Spicy? Nutty? Make it a date and together discover the history, varieties and processing techniques of the aphrodisiacal bean. Across the street is the Hotel Commonwealth. Convenient! [Available at Boston Center for Adult Education, 5 Commonwealth Ave., Kenmore Sq., Boston. 617.267.4430. bcae.org]

multi-culti/environmentalist

(hippie)

Earthopoly game | $24.95

Collect “carbon credits” and trade them for “clean air” to increase the property values of your plots. Even the game pieces are natural (e.g., rocks, shells, lima beans). Boardwalk always needed some wind turbines. [Available at Greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave., Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.395.1338. greenwardshop.com]

DISCOVERING THE BOSTON HARBOR ISLANDS | $17.95 What good environmentalist hasn’t traversed the Harbor Islands? Whether camping on Grape Island, building a bonfire on Spectacle Island or spooking yourself at Fort Warren, this book can tell them how to do it and why. [Available at Amazon.com]

“BOTTOMS UP” ALL NATURAL T-SHIRT WITH GRAPHIC | $60

Green chic and cheeky, check. This soft T is made with all-organic cotton and sports a whale wave graphic, emboldening other Greenpeacers to approach. [Available at Envi, 164 Newbury St., Boston. 617.267.3684. shopenvi.com]

Pouch of 5 reusable shopping totes | $38

When your roommate complains her Odwalla is sweating through her Jansport, present her with these five fauna-print bags. They hold up to 40 pounds each and roll into a pouch, perfect for spontaneous bulk granola purchases. [Available at Fiddlehead, 292 Newbury St., Boston. 617.247.1120. fiddleheadshop.com]

SUN JAR | $40

Banish seasonal affective disorder forever with this solar-powered sunshine-on-tap. Set the jar outside during the day, and enjoy the jar’s warm glow at night. Nighttime more your friend’s speed? There’s a Moon Jar as well. [Available at Greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.395.1338. greenwardshop.com]

Healthy Homes cleaning service | PRICES VARY

You may not know it, but your apartment is wheezing. The folks at this eco-friendly maid service want to clean your space—from a stovetop wipe-down to cobweb removal, even a consultation on how to permanently detox your chemical-ridden living quarters. [Available at Healthy Homes Cleaning, healthyhomescleaning.com. 781.926.0266]

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THE MICRO TERRARIUM FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS | $6

A mini garden sans indoor worm farm? Sold. This self-contained ecosystem can sprout your choice of polka-dotted plant, cacti, herbs, flowers or a Venus flytrap! Give the gift of pesticide-free insect control this holiday season. [Available online at Urban Outfitters, urbanoutfitters.com]

I (HEMP LEAF) HEMP SWEATSHIRT | $49.95 Show off that weed wit with this snuggly alternative to the hoodie. Never mind that the translation of this reads “I Hemp Hemp,” or “I Marijuana Leaf Hemp,” that’s just the herb talking. [Available at The Hempest, 207 Newbury St., #1, Boston. 617.421.9944. store.hempest.com]

OM PENDANT NECKLACE > SATYA | $48

Your yoga freak friend-set will appreciate this reminder of the inner peace attained through the infinite “OM.” Its simple sterling silver construction is bound to match any minimalist’s wardrobe as well. [Available at Good, 88 Charles St., Boston. 617.722.9200. shopatgood.com]

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by leighann farrelly | Yelp boston

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newbies, while the Friday wine tasting is a wonderful way to accelerate your aged-grape education. For those of you in need of a caffeine fix, The Fat Black Coffee Company’s Dot outpost [1170 Washington St., Dorchester. 617.298.1800. flatblackcoffeecompany.com] serves up a solid cup of fair-trade joe. This “charming grassroots brews-its-own, Aussie-inspired coffee shop” draws in Kendra S with vanilla iced lattes, and Jake F downs their delectable hot chocolate, even in the dead of summer. Have you tried a different path lately? Tell us on yelp.com.

green land

Canopy Verde Carrying your goods, greener By Jamie Granoff

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The Fat Black Coffee Company

2IVER

Windy City Pizza

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When Robert Frost wrote about “taking the road less traveled,” we think he was on to something. This week, we opt for the less-worn path of Boston’s own divergence of trails, treading lightly on the trolleys of #%.42!, the Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line. Follow us to !6%.5% Milton Station and see the difference for yourself. For a little Southern-style satisfaction, yelpers sing the praises of soul food sensation Mrs. Jones [2255 Dorchester Ave., Dorchester. 617.696.0180]. The smell alone transports Kim P “back to a Fourth of Ju-ly picnic, replete with ants, a game of horseshoes [and] the smell of BBQ,” but it’s the chicken that’s made a repeat customer of Al N, because they use “wing quarters only—no messing around with dry, bland, useless breasts.” Hankering for a slice? The sauce-and-cheese joint of choice in this nabe is Windy City Pizza [516 Gallivan Blvd., Dorchester Center. 617.265.6666. windypizza.com]. Pat B describes their pies as “hot and delicious with a nice crust,” and the buffalo chicken dishes have Matt F, Dan M, Em C, and Jamie S calling this their go-to spot. Wine and cheese? Yes, please! says LeeAnn B about Espirit Du Vin [25 Central Ave., Milton. 617.296.9463], where she picks up “bread, desserts, balsamic vinegar, cheese, and of course wine!” The knowledgeable staff makes Espirit a destination for vino

$ORCH

3T TON ING

Fresh footprints lead to fresh pies

anopy Verde is taking the saying “it’s in the bag,” to an entirely new level. Established in the fall of 2008, this eco-chic handbag company unveiled its debut line, defined as “modern meets earth-friendly.” Each of the bags is made from all-natural materials like organic cotton and bamboo, and only uses chemical-free embroidery and chrome-free leather. They come in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes, like the gym-bag-perfect Dandelion Duffel or the sizeable Juniper Tote. This larger handbag has a long strap, multiple zippered pockets and tiny wooden feet. The Calamint Clutch is small enough to carry on your wrist and has a removable strap. Linda Wong, founder of Canopy Verde, has always been dedicated to green living. Growing up in Taiwan, she was taught

Mrs. Jones

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Milton Station | Red Line

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YELPSTOP

the “reuse, recycle” values that she would later incorporate into her handbag line. To try and spread the message of practicing eco-friendly techniques even further, Wong has teamed up with Chinese manufacturers to construct her bags. The company also buys the all-natural materials locally, creating demand for those products in the area. Canopy Verde’s just another way you can be easy on the earth and the eyes. [Calamint Clutch and Juniper Tote available at Envi, 164 Newbury St., Boston. 617.267.3684. shopenvi.com; and Turtle, 619a Tremont St., South End, Boston. 617.266.2610. turtleboston.com. Dandelion Duffel available at Urban Living Studio, 58 Clarendon St., Boston. 617.247.8150. urbanlivingstudios.com. canopyverde.com]

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eats + drinks Charcuterie for carnivores How to win meaty praise this holiday roundup BY BEN WHELAN

pickled beef tongue from Hungry Mother

“I do it partly out of respect for the whole animal, but the tongue just has such a rich, beefy, full flavor.” used and it is typical to do a confit,” a process in traditional French cooking where the meat is slow-cooked in its own fat. “A lot of times, I’ll make a rillette as a gift for other chefs when I’m going to an expo in another city.” Another important element of the charcuterie world is pickled or brine-cured meats, and the obvious place to turn to for

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advice on the subject is Southern-French specialist Barry Maiden of Hungry Mother. Maiden’s pickled beef tongue has been a menu staple since the kitchen opened last March, and it’s been turning heads and palates ever since. “Well, it’s not a true pickle; it’s really more of a slow braise,” Maiden points out. For his recipe, he uses calves’ tongues,

which are usually on the smaller side (two to three pounds), and brines them overnight to help tenderize the meat before slow-braising them with spices and vegetables the next day. “I do it partly out of respect for the whole animal, but the tongue just has such a rich, beefy, full flavor. I stumbled across it this summer when I was working with a farm selling beef, and it was always one of the underutilized cuts. I’m really happy that I’ve been able to turn people on to it,” Maiden explains. “Like a lot of charcuterie, people are really intimidated by it, but it’s just a really great recipe.” So don’t be scared; skip the homemade fudge this year and grab some butt or slip someone you care about the tongue [Ew—Ed.]. It’s sure to be a gift they’ll happily digest and fondly remember. CHECK OUT WEEKLYDIG.COM FOR THE RECIPIES FEATURED HERE: CHRIS BAUER’S PORK PâTé, JAMIE BISSONETTE’S CHICKEN RILLETTE, BARRY MAIDEN’S PICKLED BEEF TONGUE AND THE AUTHOR’S OWN DEUX FOIE PÂTÉ.

Benjamin Darfler

The thought of edible homemade holiday gifts often brings to mind those heavy, boozy fruitcakes that sit at the back of the fridge until Easter. This year, for a change of pace, give the gift that’s sure to be a conversation starter: cured meat. Employ the French technique of charcuterie, the art of making pâtés, terrines, sausages and the like, to delight your favorite carnivore with a tasty treat. “I think charcuterie is a great gift idea; you can really go a long way at home before you need any fancy kitchen gadgets,” chef Chris Bauer of Sel de la Terre says, “and pork is the king of charcuterie.” Bauer continues, “I really love using pork because it not only has tremendous flavor, but it has the ideal fat to protein ratio that you need for any kind of curing, and it’s also easy to grind.” His gift choice for the home-charcutier is the pork pâté that he currently serves at the restaurant’s Long Wharf location. “It’s basically just a ground pork butt, which has a great ratio of fat to meat, emulsified in a food processor or blender with salt and red wine. It’s really simple, but it’s really delicious.” For one of Boston’s foremost charcutiers, chef Jamie Bissonette of Toro, the chicken rillette is the way to go when you are in the gift-giving spirit. “A rillette,” Bissonette informs via kitchen telephone, “is basically a rough spread made of puréed meat—traditionally pork. Duck and chicken are also often

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Bloody Mary

Gruesome and delish: how the brunch standard came to be lupec By HANKY PANKY + PINK LADY

For many, a good Bloody Mary is a key component of the quintessential leisurely brunch. But how did this eerily named, spicy, salty cocktail come to be? The Bloody Mary was created by Fernand “Pete” Petiot at Harry’s American Bar in Paris in 1921. It was unique because it married two new things: vodka, which had recently been introduced to France by refugees from communist Russia, and canned tomato juice, which arrived in Paris from the US after World War I. As one legend has it, the name refers to a woman who was frequently left to sip Petiot’s cocktails in solitude while waiting for her gentleman friend at Harry’s Bar. It compared her long, lonely hours waiting for her beloved to the imprisonment of Mary Queen of Scots. In 1933, the Astor family coaxed Petiot to move to New York to head up the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis Hotel, where the drink evolved. Vodka was not available stateside, so the New York version featured gin. Also, the St. Regis’ swanky management was put off by the gruesome name, and redubbed it the Red Snapper before adding it to their repertoire. In the 1950s, the cunning marketers at Smirnoff quickly brought the Bloody Mary back to its roots. The drink became a cornerstone of their legendary campaign to introduce vodka to the American marketplace. The original Bloody Mary recipe (below) was quite simple. The drink lends itself to variation, such as the common inclusion of celery salt, horseradish and who knows what else. Here’s to innovation! Cin-cin!

BLOODY MARY 1.5 oz vodka 2 dashes Worcestershire sauce 4 dashes Tabasco sauce pinch of salt and pepper 0.25 oz fresh lemon juice 4 oz tomato juice Build in a mixing glass. Roll back and forth in a tin. Strain into an icefilled glass.

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Last-Minute Crowd Pleasers

Bottles to treat the boozer in your life the second glass by Tyler Balliet

The gift of booze is incredibly versatile. It can say, “Let’s celebrate this festive holiday season together,” as easily as, “Let’s drink to numb the pain of this God-forsaken time of year.” Even if the person receiving the gift doesn’t drink, they can always re-gift it. You also don’t have to sweat getting your boss the same thing as everyone else because if she gets three bottles of the same Champagne, she’ll be even more stoked than having received just one. Buying wine is really a no-lose holiday gift. FORGETFUL, ULTRA-LAST-MINUTE SHOPPER Don’t get stuck frantically searching your apartment for something to wrap during a gift emergency: Prepare ahead of time by purchasing a few bottles of vino before the real madness starts. Dinner plans with rarely seen family members or visits from friends can happen quickly and without warning, so make sure there are pre-wrapped bottles of delicious bubbly sitting ready to go in your closet. The N.V. Nino Franco Rustico Prosecco, an Italian bubbly, is usually a summer treat, but it’s a great quick gift. It’s a classy and sophisticated sparkling, but unlike its expensive French equal, this wine clocks in at less than $20 a bottle. FOR THE ALPHA MALE IN YOUR LIFE Chances are there is a high-powered boss, law degree-holding brotherin-law or punk-ass executive MBA student on your shopping list. Instead of getting them golfwear or another team jersey to add to their collection, opt for a big, bold, karate chop-to-the-face bottle of vino. California Cabernet has become the new “bottle of Scotch” as far as gifts go, and the 2005 Darioush Cabernet Sauvignon is an awesome choice. It has every characteristic you’re looking for in a high-end Napa Valley Cab, including a dark and manly looking label. THE WHITE LOVER The general rule of thumb is to only give someone white wine if you know, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they really love the stuff. There are so many “I only drink red” people out there that it’s not worth risking epic gift failure. With that said, there are delicious whites from well-known producers that are significantly less expensive than their red wine counterparts. We go for the 2006 Flowers Sonoma Coast Chardonnay from California because it has some brand recognition, but also because it’s a killer bottle of Chardonnay. STOCKING STUFFERS If you have a handful of people to thank this year, consider a half-bottle of dessert wine. Yeah, we know—this sweet, lightly fizzy, low-alcohol Italian beverage is not everyone’s cup of tea, but the 2007 Michele Chiarlo “Nivole” Moscato d’Asti is just so damn good. The bottles are physically small, so you can stuff them in stockings or add them to gift bags stuffed with other sweets. Best yet, you can get these little bottles for less than $15 each. Drink more wine! for more information: thesecondglass.coM

FOR MORE GREAT CLASSIC “EYE-OPENERS,” CHECK OUT LUPECBOSTON.COM.

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Justin Kelly contracting

Penguin Pizza

g r e a t

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S e r v i n g L u n c h & D i n n e r e v e r y D ay Huge sele ct ion of Imp or te d & Domest ic be ers on Draught & bot t le

Piano Sing-aLong ever y friday Night wit h Mel st iller, 8pm-Midnight

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Trinity IPA

From Rhode Island, with hops

Harpoon Beer Dinner December 10 Join Harpoon Brewery and Grafton Street for a multi-course meal paired with fresh Harpoon brews. Here’s a peek: black trumpet gnocchi (hand-rolled gnocchi with black trumpet mushrooms, mushroom brodo, parmesan and black truffles) paired with Leviathan Series Baltic Porter and a cassoulet (rendered duck breast and smoked duck confit) paired with 100 Barrel Series #25 Rauchfetzen. [Grafton Street, 1230 Mass. Ave., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.497.0400. 6pm8pm/$35 for Friends of Harpoon, $40. graftonstreetcambridge.com]

Christmas Beer Brunch w/ BeerAdvocate + Upstairs on the Square December 14 Join BeerAdvocate’s Candice Alström and Upstairs’ wine director Matt Reiser for a festive holiday brunch: three-courses, each paired with a tasty beer. The menu will include savory crepes with salmon, eggs Benedict with honey ham, apple cider cake, plus a welcoming course of holiday breads. Call for reservations! [Upstairs on the Square, 91 Winthrop St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.1933. 1pm/$38. upstairsonthesquare.com] For additional info and more beer events: BeerAdvocate.com

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FOR MORE INFO: TRINITYBREWHOUSE.COM For more beer education: BeerAdvocate.com

blick H Pu o

The

Final Thoughts Compared to IPAs from England, the bitterness is quite aggressive for the style, the malt profile could use some cleaning up and the flavors just don’t seem to meld well, creating some unbalance. Drinking this beer when it’s anything other than cold allows that huskiness to dominate too—not overly tasty. That said, it’s not bad, and gets a “B” (Good) on BeerAdvocate.com with 40 reviews—we’re leaning towards a C+ (Decent). And 7-percent alcohol by volume? That’s the claim, but it’s nowhere to be found—in headiness or label. We spied our samples for $7.99 a sixpack at Whole Foods on River Street in Cambridge. The adventurous may want to visit the brewpub in Providence for a pint on draft.

beer

The Taste Nice, bright and clear amber pour with some lively carbonation that induces a good finger-sized, ultra-creamy (near nitro) white foam head that coats the glass as it settles. Fruity esters in the nose, along with some orchard notes, ripe

stone fruit, hint of grapefruit and biscuit. Bitter up front—near puckering—with some salt, sharp citric rind edge and astringency. Mild soap and some wood. Carbonation gives a bit of a scrubbing feel on the palate that is eventually soothed by a creamy mouthfeel. Body is quite light. Soft, fruity apple tones follow, like you just took a bite—skin and all. Hint of caramel as the beer warms, and some biscuit too. Lingering biscuit in the finish, lemony hop notes and a growing huskiness (like wheat germ) that results in a not-so-clean finish or enjoyable experience as the beer gets even warmer.

e us

We always love challenging beer branding that boasts how much you’ll love the beer inside before you even take a sip. Bragging about medal wins is always a plus too. So when we saw a six-pack of Trinity IPA from the Trinity Beer Co. in Providence, R.I., we had to take up their challenge, which reads: “If you like India Pale Ales, the most bitter of the Pale Ale family, you’re sure to enjoy this original English Style IPA. First brewed in Providence at the Trinity Brewhouse in 1994, its bright copper color, fruity aroma and bitter refreshing finish will keep you coming back for more. Enjoy it, responsibly.” We do like IPAs, and English IPAs, too. A beer that keeps us coming back for more? Bonus! We also noticed that the beer is actually bottled by Cottrell Brewing Co. out of Pawcatuck, Conn., for Trinity. Unless they’re brewing at the brewpub and shipping the beer to Cottrell for bottling, it’s most likely being brewed at Cottrell too. Not a bad thing. Contract brewing is all the rage and on the rise with virtual breweries popping up all over the world. Regardless, the taste is what matters to our palates. So less geekin’ and more drinkin’ …

Letters

BEERADVOCATE.COM BY JASON + TODD ALSTRöm

29

All of the other forest animals had gotten together in ther homes to celebrate

Christmas. But as far as Barrington knew, he was the only bunny in the forest, and he had no family with which to party. He attempted to join a family

Dicks and jane, at space 242.

dig this WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

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wednesday 12.10 rap till you spit nails Mac Lethal

friday 12.12 artistic inebriation Dicks and Jane

friday 12.12 a very economical Christmas Buon Natale Shopping Stroll

friday 12.12 fear the reaper Blue Öyster Cult

saturday 12.13 rock that intellect Disappearer

Kansas City rap phenomenon Mac Lethal has more street cred than all the punks of Allston Rock City combined, and he’s come to rhyme circles around the college ghetto. Now don’t let Missouri turn you off—this performer/producer proved he’s got the rocks to work in the underground scene with the likes of P.O.S. and Atmosphere, to name-drop a few. The show will also feature rhyme slayers Grieves and Soulcrate Music.

Art is dead. Space 242 is proving that art rocks with their final exhibition of 2008, Dicks and Jane, featuring the artistic vision of the Dig’s own Tak Toyoshima, Scott Murry and Taylor Seidler. The great minds behind the paintings will be in attendance, ready to discuss their process and inspirations and perform favors in the alleyway for lucrative art collectors. OK, fine, not the last part.

Following in the footsteps of Mother Italy, the North End is hosting its second annual Buon Natale Holiday Shopping Stroll. All the swanky stores up and down Hanover Street (and Salem Street and Prince Street and North Bennet Street and Fleet Street) will be joining in on the festivities with carolers, refreshments and discounts! Savings when it counts and free food? What better way to shop local?

Thanks to Rock Band, everyone who was sipping on their mothers’ teat in the late ’70s can now appreciate the heavy metal wonder that she used to roll spliffs to. Led by the original face-melting force of Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma, BÖC is out to prove that they’ve still got what it takes to rock your brain into mush. These leather-clad geezers can blow the fedora off every hipster in a fivemile radius.

[North End, Boston, 7pm-11pm]

[Showcase Live, 23 Patriot Pl., Foxboro. 888.354.7042. 8pm/$26$46. showcaselive.com]

There’s no reason rock can’t be smart, and these Boston boys are a presence to be witnessed, describing their tracks as “searching through decades past and exploring the unknown chasms of the human psyche”— which is an understatement. These psychedelic rockers will leave everyone impressed as they mix the influence of Black Sabbath, Smashing Pumpkins and Zeppelin, and produce a sound that’s completely their own and laced with trippy insights into our own consciousness. Whoa.

[Harpers Ferry, 158 Brighton Ave., Allston. 617.254.7380. 8pm/ 18+/$10. harpersferryboston.com]

[Space 242, 242 East Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston. 617.797.3191. 6pm/21+/free with RSVP. space242.com]

[Great Scott, 1222 Comm. Ave., Allston. 617.566.9014. 9pm/ 21+/$9. greatscottboston.com]

monday 12.15 modern renaissance Seven Times Salt

tuesday 12.16 oh the webs they weave Deb Olin Unferth & M.T. Anderson

wednesday 12.17 oui oui Shoot the Piano Player

wednesday 12.17–sunday 1.4 anti-holiday hero Santaland Diaries

OK, we get it, you don’t like buying from big box chain companies. Neither do we. Mass Market is the DIY flea market of everything a creative soul could desire. Everyone from vinyl junkies to bookbinders to clothing designers and vegan bakers will be pushing their wares for a fun-filled day of bartering, selling and sharing. Put down that PBR and head over. Or rather, chug it first.

Seven Times Salt meticulously absorbs every note and subtlety of classical music and transforms it into something modern audiences can truly enjoy. Mixing dance tunes with late 16th-century compositions may seem next to impossible, but the results take on a life of their own, creating a classic, fresh sound. Catch them for their sixth annual holiday concert, Thys Endere Nyght.

[Massachusetts College of Art and Design, 621 Huntington Ave., Boston. 617.879.700. 12pm/all ages/$1. masscraftmarket.blogspot.com]

[The Loring-Greenough House, 12 South St., Jamaica Plain. 617.524.3158. 8pm/all ages/free. seventimessalt.com]

Brookline Booksmith is showcasing two acclaimed authors for double the book-signing pleasure. Deb Olin Unferth debuts her first novel, Vacation: a postmodern tale of misshapen heads, amateur detective work and windingly interwoven events. M.T. Anderson’s new book: The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the Nation, Volume II: The Kingdom on the Waves is the follow-up to his National Book Award-winning first installment.

The French are not always a great source for feel-good films, and Truffaut’s Shoot the Piano Player is no exception. Beginning with his wife’s suicide, classical pianist Charlie Koller bottoms out and does the only thing he knows how to do: plays at a Parisian dive bar. The somber plot continues with troublesome brothers who bring the danger of gangland to his doorstep, leading to a harrowing look inside the soul of a broken man.

David Sedaris’ cult essay on the adventures of Crumpet the surly Christmas elf of Macy’s has made it to the stage of the New Rep. In this ever changing world, Sedaris’ sarcasm and wit are something we can always treasure. His biting words and social critique lend to a hilarious production following the story of his seasonal work at America’s mother of all retail stores and his interaction with the Christmascrazed loonies he encounters.

[Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.876.6837. 5:30pm & 7:30pm/ $9.50. brattlefilm.org]

[New Rep Theater, 321 Arsenal St., Watertown. 617.923.8487. showtimes vary/$30. newrep.org]

[Brookline Booksmith, 279 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/ free. brooklinebooksmith.com]

table of contents Letters us News + features commerce gift guide Eats + drinks dig this A + E Music movies arts WORDS comedy Comics Classifieds ADULT exit polls

sunday 12.14 hipster heaven Mass Market III

home, resigned to spending Christmas Eve alone. Almost home, he heard the excited squeaking of field mice beneath the ground.

of squirrels, but was turned away from their festivities because he bore no physical resemblance to them. His eyes filling with tears, he sadly turned for

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12 10 08 – 12 17 08

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242 S

P

A

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New England’s Culture Magazine

arts | 826 auction + stella’s David Wain

table of contents Letters

movies | doubt + cadillac records + helvetica

9 | The Brothers—“Under the Skin” (RCA) 1976 8 | Players’ Association—“Ride the Groove” (Vanguard) 1979 7 | Tony Paris—“Electric Automan” (Vanguard) 1985 DESIGN NEARBY | PINK COMMA GALLERY

Jennifer Hill, Joshua Stone + Shara Porter

Cloth, Paper, Scissors As a kid, it was simple to seal the deal with “rock, paper, scissors.” As adults, we can alleviate our holiday shopping misery with help from the annual Design Nearby sale. Titled Cloth, Paper, Scissors, this year’s version comes with 16 artists and their fresh, urban, holiday-inspired pieces. It’s difficult to decide who to mention first. UMass-Dartmouth grad and designer Shara Porter will sell some of her special remixed vintage accessories. The felt-inclined Joshua Stone will have some sweet coasters, holiday ornaments and vases all made out of industrial felt. Jennifer Hill’s “Places I Have Never Been” collection puts an international (and imaginary) spin on calendars. Dave Ortega, a flag-flying member of the Miracle 5 art superhero group, vends some of his Geoskullz tees, which are very fly. And don’t forget Pink Comma director Chris Grimley and wifey Kelly Smith, the founders of the Boston design studio Etcetera Media. They’ll all present up to six pieces, with all sorts of shtuff for sale. With the well-deep, magnificent design talent in the Hub, you can outfit your entire holiday giving with creative, handmade treasures … and get bonus karma to pawn onto your Republican mom. [NAKIA HILL] [Design Nearby: Cloth, Paper, Scissors. Fri 12.12.08. Pink Comma Gallery, 81B Wareham St., Boston. 617.426.4466. 6pm-11pm/free. pinkcomma. com, designnearby.com]

6 | Theo Vaness—“No Romance/Keep on Dancin’/I’m a Bad, Bad Boy” (Prelude) 1979 5 | Montana—“Warp Factor II” (Atlantic) 1978 4 | Cher—“Take Me Home” (Casablanca) 1979 3 | Kebekelektrik—“War Dance” (Salsoul) 1978 2 | Inner Life—“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (The Garage Version)” (Salsoul) 1981 1 | Logg—“You’ve Got That Something” (Salsoul) 1981 [Bob Diesel spins after the showing of CineMental Presents: The Godfather of Disco. Wed 12.17.08. Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.876.6837. 9:30pm/$10. brattlefilm.org, truthserum.org]

DO YOUR PARENTS APPROVE OF YOUR CAREER? They’re not as concerned about the trajectory or specifics of my comedy career as they are about whether I washed the dishes. They’re happy as long as I wash the dishes. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR ACT? My act has simultaneous elements of silliness and seriousness (like a joke about the true essence of forgiveness), and I’m not sure that they exist on opposite ends of a spectrum. I worked as a plumber for seven summers and I studied at Oxford and I’ve traveled a lot—you stop seeing things as polar opposites—silly versus serious, smart jokes versus those with mass appeal—and more as complementary. WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMEDY STUDIO RUN? I want to just hit it really hard and mix consistency with innovation. I’m working on this one joke about how nature isn’t even aware of how beautiful it is. Pretty funny, huh? So, let’s check back in on that one at the end of the month.

[Steve Macone at The Comedy Studio. Wed-Sun, through 12.30.08. 1236 Mass. Ave., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 8pm/all ages/$8 Sun, Wed, Thurs; $10 Fri, Sat. 617.661.6507. thecomedystudio.com. stevemacone.com]

Eats + drinks dig this A + E Music movies

ARE YOU MAKING A LIVING DOING STAND-UP? I make a living doing comedy as well as freelance writing, though “living” is a strong word. Making a “slowly dying while living at home with my parents” might be a better way to put it. Also, working on a book.

arts

10 | Mandré—“Solar Flight (Opus 1)” (Motown) 1977

WORDS

From Bob Diesel of the Boston House Music Coalition

comedy

TOP 10 DISCO CUTS

Medford-native Steve Macone won Boston University’s 2006 Funniest Student Competition in his senior year, opened for Dave Coulier of Full House, then got an agent and now he’s rich. Well, not financially rich, but he’s raking it in comedically with a clean act that goofily contemplates life’s questions, big and small. As the Comedy Studio’s December “comic in residence,” he’ll open every show there for the month.

Comics

The List

Classifieds

BY ROB TURBOVSKY

ADULT

STEVE MACONE

exit polls

DEFEND YOURSELf!

gift guide

commerce

News + features

music | adam F + big bear

us

arts entertainment arts&entertainment

33

Wednesday, Dec 10 rock ELLIOTT MURPHY Jann Klose Thursday, Dec 11 West African pop SAMBA LOLO

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

Monday, Dec 15 FREE PIZZA 8:30 PM (21+) TEAM TRIVIA starts 8:30 Tuesday, Dec 16 folk NY Songwriters Circle Mieka Pauley, Seth Glier & more

Friday, Dec 12 roots rock Memphis Rockabily Wednesday, Dec 17 Girl Howdy funk ZAGNUTT Saturday, Dec 13 pop upcoming shows: BRONZE RADIO 12/18-Chandler RETURN Travis’ X-Mas 12/19-Pressure Cooker Sunday, Dec 14 12/20-Los Sugar Kings Jazz Brunch 12/23-Old Time Music w/ music 12/26-Playin’ Dead 9:00 -2:30 PM 12/27-Swinging Blues Jam Johnsons 4:30 -8:30 12/31-Booty Vortex

34 17 Holland St., Davis Sq. Somerville (617) 776-2004 Directly on T Red Line at Davis www.johnnyds.com

PROFILE BY DAVID DAY

Five times a day Adam must kneel and pray to record crate #31.

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MassArt’s showing of the Beat Research class presentations is Boston’s yearly chance to get into the heads of some beat-talented brains. The scientists come from the classroom of Professor DJ Flack (aka Antony Flackett), where they’ve been studying everything from old school to new school for school: sampling, techniques, image and hip-hop’s presence in pop culture. The students perform an array of projects, including original tracks, videos and even live performances. Hear what’s next after next after next at the Enormous Room. [Mon 12.15.08. 567 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.491.5550. 9pm/18+/free. enormous.tv]

ADULT

Classifieds

Comics

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WORDS

arts

movies

Music

henning ohlenbusch

Central Chambers is the deliciously comforting third album from Northampton’s folk-pop quintet, Winterpills. Dual vocalists Philip Price and Flora Reed have perfected the art of male-female harmony, while the occasionally rough guitars and drumming offsets their poignant voices in the best of ways. The group, praised everywhere from No Depression to the Village Voice, provides equal parts pop melodies and heartbreaking indie-rock tunes highlighted by Price’s storytelling lyrics. To celebrate the CD, the guys and girl will be playing at Club Passim, Harvard Square’s excellent home to all things crunchy and folkified, a doubly good reason to go. [Sun 12.14.08. 47 Palmer St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.492.7679. 7:30pm/all ages/$15. clubpassim.org]

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The world of Adam Fenton, aka Adam F, is not exactly a waking nightmare. Producing renowned drum & bass/jazz album Colours put him on a path hardly anyone, least of all him, would expect. “You have dreams and desires when you’re younger,” he says on the phone from Los Angeles, “but you realize life unfolds completely differently and then you just get on with it.” Although he is firmly established as a drum & bass DJ, having cracked the UK pop charts with singles like “Music In My Mind,” his career has gone on to hip-hop and R&B production, with names like Redman, LL Cool J and M.O.P. Most recently, though, he has become a film actor with a smaller role in The Heavy and now, opposite British acting legend Richard E. Grant, in the film Cuckoo. While it’s not a stretch to play each of these music-based characters, there’s something about Fenton the camera loves. “It’s not Lord of the Rings, know what I mean?” he says with a laugh. “But it’s nice to do something else that’s creative and challenging and different.” Cuckoo is currently in post-production. But Fenton is still in touch with his hiphop friends. While in LA, he had the chance

to catch up with Redman (they produced “Smash Sumthin’” in 2001). “To drive around with Redman and listen to tracks we’re working on, it’s pretty cool, do you know what I mean?” he says. The duo was “messin’ around” with some beats alongside Red’s partner in crime: Method Man. Of course, DJing still gets Fenton the most excited. He still runs his own drum & bass label, Breakbeat KAOS, and makes a good living off DJing. “There’s a night called Run in Bristol, which I like playing in,” he says. “It’s a really small, low-lit club and it has these old hanging lights and whenever the crowd’s kicking off they bang on the lights and hang off these cords and swing up and down. That’s a true and honest club to play in.” Then there’s places he loves, like St. Petersburg, Russia. “They do this huge party called Pirate Station and there are 15,000 people. It’s like Tiësto but with grimy drum & bass.” The life of a DJ is a rough one indeed. Even he was still deciding which gig to take on New Year’s Eve, easily the biggest gig for a DJ these days. “It’s either London as an option, or Seattle, which I played last year, or Hawaii,” he says. (Sounded like he was leaning toward Hawaii.) Is there a film with Redman, Method Man and Fenton in the future? A fish-outof-water gangster caper set in Guy Ritchie’s London? “That’s a good idea,” he says, chuckling. “Life’s showing me you forget about things, and then all of sudden, two years later, it’s happening, but from a completely different angle.”

Eats + drinks

ADAM F WITH LENORE PHOENIX LANDING 512 MASS AVE. CENTRAL SQ., CAMBRIDGE 617.576.6260 10PM/19+/$7 MYSPACE.COM/PHOENIXLANDING ADAMF.COM

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Has many balls to juggle

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ADAM F

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Erinn Brown (often referred to as “2N” because of the essential double consonant in her name) has been playing stages all over Boston since the late ’90s. The sultry songstress started out singing for rock cover bands while writing her own stuff, eventually releasing her solo debut, Road Signs to the Sun, in 1999. Her latest solo album, Don’t Forget About It, is a soulful mix of blues, jazz, funk, and folk rock. Though she is now a solo artist, Brown is no stranger to sharing the stage. Alongside Erinn Brown Band drummer Steve Peabody, she’ll be playing at the Clear Conscience Café, so you know you can walk out with some good, legitimately fair-trade and organic (and shadegrown!) coffee. [Thu 12.11.08. 581 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.661.1580. 8pm/all ages/free. c3cafe.net]

gift guide

Notables

35

FIDELITY

Big Bear BY JONATHAN DONALDSON

Don’t you just want to strum that guitar every once in a while, I think, watching Big Bear as they rock the stage. Just a big fat C chord once for the kids? But Big Bear’s not going to make it easy for you. Hardrock riffs, twists and tangles, unfamiliar modalities, skronky keys, big broken beats and bending shouts jolt across the stage ... I’m kind of not sure I’m in Boston anymore. Without a real central point of focus in their tunes or presentation, Big Bear represents a high-sensory brand of something caught between metal, classical and indie rock. “It was supposed to be an arena rock band,” says guitarist and chief music writer Joel Roston. Mission not accomplished. Roston’s interest in classical music ultimately probably got in the way of any “More Than A Feeling” aspirations. But they do have a keyboard player who stands (that would be Joanne Dill). She and Roston are the melodic beast of the band, tirelessly cranking out sequences of completely off-kilter runs that take a while to get used to, but eventually you get there. “I’ve studied a lot of ‘out’ classical music and the thing is, you realize it is really hard to escape from a 1-4-5 mentality,” says Roston. “Hopefully everything we do has some awesome rock sound.” It would actually probably all drift away if not for Jordyn Bonds, whose talk/shout style of singing owes as much to Mary Weiss and Bob Dylan as it does to Debbie Harry and Johnny Rotten (except no rambling gambling epics or car crashes). Roston treads carefully on summing up the main idea of Bonds’ lyrics for me: “Hmm. The fact that humans can be very, very wonderful but instead we’re just gonna kill ourselves.” So it’s love and death, happiness and pain. Maybe not right out of the pages of Bad Company’s songbook, but in the end, it’s rock & roll. “I trust the listener to be able to pick the really simplistic structures out of the complexity,” says Roston. And I would say with a sensory experience as intense as Big Bear, some element of trust is key. [Big Bear with Parts & Labor, Neptune and Thief Thief. Fri 12.12.08. Middle East Upstairs, 472 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.3278. 9pm/18+/$9. myspace.com/bigbear, mideastclub.com]

LOCAL PICK BOP BOP BOP

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

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WANDAS | NEW WAVES BLUES

The four-piece group The Wandas separate themselves from the large pack of Boston pop bands with a tightly designed, smart sound. Besides the production from Patrick Krief (of The Dears) and the mastering of Ryan Morey (The Stills, Arcade Fire), the vocals from Keith McEachern and friends are a delight. Check the matching harmonies of “Bending Over Backwards” or the fun falsetto on “Trepidation” for the ingredient that truly adds to the already focused formula. Expect this Berklee-bred band to do what many others have done: blow up. [DAVID DAY]

Phoenix Landing Midweek Techno: Sergio’s Bday Bash

thursday 12.11 Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz [10pm/21+] Burren Swinging Johnsons [8pm/21+]

Photographers always appreciate Conrad’s performances in the darkroom. Rationales, 12.11.08, at Church.

selene angier

Alchemist Lounge Forest Henderson [10pm/21+/free] All Asia Mightly Tighty [6:30pm] TheMurder, The Lessar Evils, Mouth Sewn Shut [9:30pm/21+] An Tua Nua Night Gallery Video

Cafe 939 The Dear Hunter, Person L. [8pm/all ages/$13 adv, $15 dos] Church The Rationales, Dearborn Valley, The Bees Knees, Preacher Jack [8pm/21+/$8] Felt True Music Thursdays w/ Beautiful Lies, Eric Colville, Shadwell [9pm/21+/$8, free w/ college ID] Fireplace Latin Thursdays w/ Alma [9:30/21+] Good Life P.M.S. w/ Ms. Thang, Just John [9pm/21+]

Great Scott Tyler’s Birthday Mishmash Band Hash feat. members of Amoroso, Animal Hospital, Big Bear, Clawjob, Ho-Ag, Ketman, Neptune, The Secret Sea, Tristan Da Cunha and more [9pm/18+/$8]

Middle East Corner Chelsea City Council [10pm] Middle East Downstairs The New Deal, Mocean Worker [8pm/18+/$22 adv, $25 dos]

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Nonstop Karaoke [6pm/21+] DJ Dancing [9pm/21+/free]

Middle East Upstairs Rhymezwell (CD release) feat. Ebb & Flow, Calvery Crew, Nox Beatz & Fat Ricky, L.E.G. and more [9pm/18+/$10 adv, $13 dos]

Jacque’s Jacque’s Angels hosted by Kris Knievil w/ Milinda Wilson and guests [11pm/21+/$6]

Milky Way Todo Mundo w/ DJ Lone Wolf [9pm/21+/free]

Johnny D’s Samba Lolo [9pm/21+] Kells Thirsty Thursday [10pm/21+] Kitty O’Shea’s Onset, DJs Artie V. and Greg G. [6pm/21+]

My House International Thursdays feat. Live Brazilian Bands [8pm/21+/free] O’Brien’s Mob Hit, Eyewitness Death Count, Guilty as Sin [9pm/21+/$6]

Olivers @ Cask ‘n Flagon Black River Sound, Soul Mafia, The Problemaddicts [8pm/21+] Paradise Rock Club Luke Bryan [8pm/18+] Phoenix Landing Elements feat. Adam F. [10pm/19+/$5] Plough & Stars Scarce [10pm/21+] Precinct Stuff @ Night Party, The Rex Complex [10pm/21+] Redline Joe McMahon Trio [7pm/21+] Soul Clap [10pm/21+] Ryles Temporada Latina [8:30pm/21+/$8-$12] Scullers Krisanthi Pappas and Doug Hammer [8pm/$18]

mick murray

The roadie got an eyeful when he popped up from a trap door by the speaker. Barnicle, 12.12.08, at the Middle East Downstairs.

All Asia CNC Music Marathon w/ David Cousins, Zarni de Wet, The Modern Elite, Road Apples, Secret Channels, Johnny Duke and The Aces [6pm/21+ after 10pm/$6 for 21+, $9 for 18-20] An Tua Nua Night Gallery Video

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37

friday 12.12 Alchemist Lounge One Happy Island [10pm/21+]

gift guide

Middle East Corner Belly Dance w/ Live

Scullers Act IV: A night of music and musings feat. Carol O’Shaughnessy, Dane Vannatter, Piero Bonamico, Lynda D’Armour [8pm/$28]

Eats + drinks

Harpers Ferry Mac Lethal w/ Grieves,

O’Brien’s Born of Thunder, Finisher, Hot On The Heels, Warhead [9pm/21+/$6]

dig this

Kells Get Over the Hump Wednesdays w/ DJ Lay-Zee-Boy [10pm/21+/free]

A + E

Great Scott Oranjuly, No Casino, Shanghai Thrills, Tom Thumb [9pm/18+/$9]

My House Karaoke [9pm/21+/free]

Ryles Anita Coelho Brazilian Ensemble [9pm/$10] Hot Salsa Wednesdays w/ DJ Rob Suave [8:30pm/18+/$10$12]

Music

Johnny D’s Elliott Murphy, Jann Klose [8:30pm/21+/$12]

Milky Way DJ Generoso’s Bovine Ska [9pm/21+]

Precinct The Rex Complex [10pm/21+]

movies

Jacque’s Boyz Will Be Girlz, hosted by Melinda Wilson, Mizery and guests [10:30pm/21+/$6]

Plough & Stars Sara Leveque Duo [10pm/21+]

arts

Middle East Upstairs This is how rumors get started, Sincerely, the Management, Sera Del Fuego, Doug Orey [9pm/18+/$8 adv, $9 dos]

WORDS

All Asia Johnny Nicholson’s Songwriter’s Circle [6pm] Open Mic Hosted by Bryan Murphy of the Shills [9pm/21+]

Good Life Bassic w/ Pandai’a, Steppo and guests Edit, Ooah of Glitch Mob [9pm/21+/$5]

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Late Night Karaoke [9pm/21+]

[10pm/21+]

comedy

Few knew that Teddy was actually born from a tree vagina. Oranjuly, 12.10.08, at Great Scott.

Fireplace Jazz Wednesdays w/ Earthsound [9:30pm/21+]

Band [9:30pm/free]

Comics

Church The Ting Tings [8pm/21+/free]

Soulcrate Music [8pm/18+/$10]

Classifieds

Cafe 939 Live Band Karaoke feat. Downtown Fever [8pm/free]

ADULT

WEDNESDAY 12.10

exit polls

MUSIC | for advertising + listings info, [email protected]

Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz [10pm/21+] Biltmore Grille Karaoke w/ Dana Z [9pm] Burren Moonshine [8pm/21+] Cafe 939 Richard Saunders’s Urban Appeal, Julia Easterlin [8pm/$10] Church The Dirty Truckers, Prime Movers,

The Freeways, Black Mosettes [8pm/21+/$10] Felt ‘80s Cover Bands, Mash-Up Fridays w/ DJ Rick Rude, Mash-up Mafia [9pm/21+] Good Life Seed in the City w/ DJ Bradford James, Randy Deshaies w/ guest Halo [9pm/21+/$5] Great Scott Anderson Comedy

Presents The Gas [7pm/18+/$5] The Pill w/ DJs Ken & Michael V [9pm/21+/$5] Harpers Ferry Corey Smith w/ Matt Lowell [8pm/18+/$12 adv, $15 dos] Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Happy Hour Karaoke [6pm-10pm/21+] DJ Dancing [9pm/21+] more listings >> 38

MUSIC | for advertising + listings info, [email protected]

friday 12.12 Jacque’s Kris Knievil and the cast of “Miss-Leading Ladies:” Destiny, Mizery, Lakia Mondale, Fena Barbitall [10pm/21+/$10] Johnny D’s Memphis Rockabilly, Girl Howdy [9:45pm/21+] Kells Fridays Ladies Night w/ DJ Grasshopper [10pm/21+/ladies free before 12am] Kitty O’Shea’s Fusion Fridays w/ DJs Greg G. and Artie V.

FROM >> 37

[21+] Middle East Corner Angela Desveaux & The Mighty Ship Middle East Downstairs Freezepop, Bon Savants, The Toothaches, Barnicle [8pm/18+/$12] Middle East Upstairs Neptune, Parts & Labor, Big Bear, Thief Thief [9pm/18+/$9] Milky Way The Final “The Wobble” Friday Soul Party [9pm/21+/free]

My House Live Music [8pm/21+/free] O’Brien’s Muck and the Mires, Topheavy, The Downbeat 5, The Buckners [9pm/21+/$8] Olivers @ Cask ‘n Flagon This Blue Heaven, The Honors, Common Thrill (CD release), The Motion Sick [8pm/21+] Paradise Rock Club Sister Hazel w/ Benjy Davis Project, Andrew Hoover

[8pm/18+]

bers, $20 guests]

Phoenix Landing Pretty Little Things w/ DJ Vinny [10pm/21+/$5]

Ryles Jazzadelic [9pm/$10] Viernes des Vacilon Latin Dance Party [8:30pm/18+/free before 10pm, $5 after, $10 after 11pm]

Precinct Frank Graham, Kevin Connolly [10:30pm/21+] Redline DJ KC Hallett of Soul Revival [8pm/21+]

Scullers Karrin Allyson [8pm, 10pm/$25]

Rise Orbit w/ Hearthrob: Red Foxx, Baltimoroder, Morgan Louis and Hush & Bons [2am/18+/$10 mem-

saturday 12.13 10pm/$6 for 21+, $9 for 18-20]

Yeah, um, I’m Styles P. Welcome to my crib. So it’s a little messy. Shut up! Styles P, 12.13.08, at Harpers Ferry. Alchemist Lounge Absinthe w/ The Amazing DJ Knife [10pm/21+]

Wed 12/10

PUB QUIZ 8-10

Enjoy our great beer selection!

Thur 12/11 SWINGING JOHNSONS

Fri 12/12

MOONSHINE

Sat 12/13

SPITTING VINNIES

All Asia Alex Wright and the Wrongs [12pm] Boby Limijaya [3pm] CNC Music Marathon w/ Mary Casiello, Flaming Awesome, The Wrong Noises, The Effective Dose, Melanie Driscoll, Mepos [6pm/21+ after

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

Tue 12/16

38

247 Elm Street, Davis Sq. Somerville, MA (617-776-6896) ::: www.burren.com

Open til 2am every Friday and Saturday

Cafe 939 The Dear Hunter, 3 [8pm/$13 adv, $15 dos] Church Logan 5 & The Runners, Weisstronauts, Sool, My Own Worst Enemy, The Mercy James Gang [8pm/21+/$10] Felt Merry Effen Christmas! Holiday Party w/ DJ Pretty Boy Jones [10pm/21+/ free w/ RSVP]

Biltmore Grille Christie Leigh Bellany [9pm]

Mon 12/15

Open Mic w/ Hugh McGowan @6:30

Burren Spitting Vinnies [8pm/21+]

All Asia Brandon Sheer [4pm] James Risolo Showcase [7pm]

Singer Songwriter Series with DanielleM @ 8PM Set Dancing 8pm

Biltmore Grille Brian Burrill [9pm]

Great Scott Zozobra, Disppearer, Gods and Queens, Angels of Meth [9pm/21+/$9] Harpers Ferry Styles P [8pm/18+/$18 adv, $20 dos] Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Happy Hour Karaoke [5pm-9pm/21+] DJ Dancing [9pm/21+] Jacque’s Kris Knievil and the cast of “Miss-Leading Ladies:” Destiny, Mizery, Lakia Mondale, Fena Barbitall [7:45pm, 10pm/21+/$10] Johnny D’s Bronze Radio Return [9:45pm/21+] Kells Celebration Saturday

w/ DJ Darren Drag [10pm/21+] Kitty O’Shea’s Plan B Saturdays w/ DJ Greg G [21+] Middle East Corner Po Boys Hammond B-3 Organ Trio Middle East Downstairs The Viennagram, Asleep in a Box, Aux, Sizzlechest [8pm/18+/$10] Middle East Upstairs Plus/Minus, Mean Creek, Cotton Jones, Cotton Candy [9pm/18+/$10] Milky Way Mango’s Latin Dance w/ DJ Baby Boricua [9pm/21+/ladies free before 10:30pm, $5 before 11:30pm, $10] My House Dance: hip-hop, house, R&B, rock, mashups, top 40 [8pm/21+/free]

O’Brien’s We’re All Gonna Die, Hackman, The Under [9pm/21+/$8] Phoenix Landing Boom Boom Room w/ DJ Vinny [10pm/21+/$5] Plough & Stars Family Jewels [4pm/21+] Death and Taxes [10:30pm/21+] Precinct James Christensen, Fancy Trash [9pm/21+] Redline DJ Inkognito [10pm/21+] Rise Storm w/ Boris [1am/18+/$10 members, $20 guests] Ryles Samba Tremeterra [9pm/$10] Supershag [9:15pm/18+/$15]

sunday 12.14

Sun 12/14

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

An Tua Nua Uber Saturdays w/ DJ Susan Esthera [10pm/21+] Night Gallery Video Bar w/ VJ Tom Yaz [10pm/21+]

Good Life Mister Jason w/ guests Ricky Powell, Rude-1 [9pm/21+/$5]

“Song for Dolphin Children” is always a room-clearer. Bon Iver, 12.14.08, at the Wilbur Theatre. Alchemist Lounge Jeremy Lyons and the Deltabilly Boys [10pm/21+]

Burren Brunch Session w/ Gannon Family [12pm/all ages] Americano Session [7pm/21+] Singer/Songwriter Series w/ Danielle [8pm/21+] Church The Boston Babydolls, Miss Tess & the Bon-

Ton Parade [8pm/21+/$7 adv, $10 dos] Great Scott Truth Serum w/ Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School Cabaret Life Drawing Class [2:30pm/18+/$7] All These Kings, Cranston Willow [9pm/18+/free] Harpers Ferry The Ducky Boys w/ Far From Finished, Pinkerton Thugs, Morgan Knockers [7pm/all ages/$10]

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Late Night Karaoke [9pm/21+] Jacque’s Work! w/ JujuBee and Destiny [21+/$6] Johnny D’s Blues Jam [4:30pm/21+] Middle East Corner Belly Dance show w/ DJ Garabed hosted by Sahar [9pm/free] Middle East Upstairs Have Nots, Brunt Of

It, Interrobang?!, Kill Conrad [1pm/all ages/$10] Grimis, Blastronauts, Action Verbs, Plastic Reverie [9pm/18+/$8 adv, $9 dos] Milky Way Wreckage Talent Show [9pm/$8] My House Gay night w/ DJ Mike Giller [8pm/21+/free] Phoenix Landing Rebound w/ Tanner Ross and Jason B. [10pm/19+/$5, free before 11pm]

Plough & Stars Kepi Acoustic w/ DJ Ryan the Terrible [10pm/21+/$3]

Burren Set Dancing w/ Ger Cooney [8pm/21+] Great Scott Otis Grove, Missing Traces (farewell show), Rex Comlex [9pm/18+/$8]

Jacque’s Jaded Lounge hosted by Becca D’Bus [10pm/21+/$6] Middle East Upstairs Another Polk Christmas Party w/ The Antlers, Gypsy Cab, The Beasts of England, This

O’Brien’s Razormaze, Unholy Goatfucker, Spewtilator, Boarcorpse, Ill Daemonium [9pm/21+/$8]

Precinct The Mike Hastings Band [10pm/21+] Scullers Melissa Morgan [8pm/$18]

Phoenix Landing Makka Mondays w/

tuesday 12.16 McGowan [6:30pm/21+] Cafe 939 Poetry Slam feat. Regie Gibson [8pm/$5]

Seen here headlining at Backyard-apalooza ’07. Bobbielee, 12.16.08, at My House. All Asia Karmic Songwriters Circle [6:30pm] Dylan Galvin & Friends [9:30pm/21+] Burren Open Mic w/ Hugh

Church Pray for Mojo, Mighty Tiny, Andrew Lewis [8pm/21+/$5] Good Life Tuesday Night Squabble [8pm/21+] Great Scott Ice Cream Social w/ Chris Devlin, E-Marce [9pm/18+/$8] Harpers Ferry Indie Rock Parade [8pm/18+]

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Late Night Karaoke [9pm/21+]

My House Open Mic night w/ Bobbielee and Friends [8pm/21+/free]

Plough & Stars Kaitlin Dibble w/ Michala [10pm/21+]

Jacque’s Karaoke Hosted by Mizery [21+/$6]

O’Brien’s School for Robots; Left Hand Does; Sincerely, The Management [9pm/21+/$8]

Precinct Not Art Collaborative [10pm/21+]

Johnny D’s New York Songwriters Circle [8:30pm/21+] Middle East Corner The Sneaks Middle East Upstairs The Living Sea, The Mystery Tramps, Loud Clappers, Motorcar [9pm/18+/$8]

Paradise Rock Club Ten out of Tenn Christmas Tour feat. Griffin House, Katie Herzig, Trent Dabbs, Tyler James, Jeremy Lister, Butterfly Boucher, KS Rhoads, Matthew Perryman Jones, Andy Davis, Erin Mccarley [7pm/18+]

Ryles Artist Showcase, MultiBand Event [8:30pm/$8] Noche Latina Tuesdays [7pm/18+/$10-$13] Scullers David Benoit’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas” w/ Boston City Singers Choir [8pm, 10pm/$28]

WednesdAy 12.17 Biltmore Grille Karaoke w/ Dana Z [9pm] Church Ralph Eats Dynamite, Red Quiet, Thick as Thieves, The Darker Hues [8pm/21+/$8]

You don’t want to know what Kathy learned in band camp. Kathy Olson, 12.17.08, at Fireplace. Alchemist Lounge The Speakeasys [10pm/21+] All Asia Johnny Nicholson’s Songwriter’s Circle [6pm] Open Mic Hosted by Bryan Murphy of the Shills [9pm/21+]

Fireplace Kathy Olson [9:30pm/21+] Good Life Dancehall Xmas style w/ Kotek, Damian Silva w/ guest DJ Brynmore [9pm/21+] Great Scott The Broken River Prophet, Quincunx, Shepherdess, Ghost Box Orchestra [9pm/18+/$7] Harpers Ferry Ace Enders w/ Good

Old War, The Morning Light, Michelle Darosa [7pm/all ages/$10 adv, $12 dos]

Middle East Downstairs Taproot, Silent Season, Resin [8pm/18+/$15]

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Late Night Karaoke [9pm/21+]

Middle East Upstairs Sparky’s Flaw, Slow Motion Driver, Soap Stars [9pm/18+/$9]

Jacque’s Boyz Will Be Girlz, hosted by Melinda Wilson, Mizery and guests [10:30pm/21+/$6]

Milky Way Soulkore’s Stardust Open Stage [2pm/21+/$5]

Johnny D’s Zagnutt [8:30pm/21+] Kells Get Over the Hump Wednesdays [10pm/21+/free] Middle East Corner Belly Dance w/ Live Band [9:30pm/free]

My House Karaoke [9pm/21+/free] O’Brien’s Escape The Basement, The Susan Constant [9pm/21+/$7] Paradise Rock ClubGreater Boston Alternative Comedy Festival feat. Shane Mauss, The Walsh Brothers, Robby

Roadsteamer, Chris Coxen, The Anderson Comedy Group, Mehran, Bethany Van Delft and Campaign for Realtime [7pm/18+] Phoenix Landing Midweek Techno: Justin Carr [10pm/21+] Plough & Stars Poverty Line Old Time Band [10pm/21+] Precinct The Rex Complex [10pm/21+] Ryles Hiro Honshuku and ANO-NE Christmas [9pm/$10] Hot Salsa Wednesdays w/ DJ Rob Suave [8:30pm/$10-$12]

Fri 12/12

Neptune, Parts & Labor, Big Bear, Thief Thief $9

sat 12/13

+/- (a.ka. Plus/Minus, Absolutely Kosher Records) with Mean Creek, Cotton Jones $10

sun 12/14 Matinee Brick by Brick Productions presents Have Nots, Brunt Of It, Interrobang?!, Kill Conrad All Ages $10 NOTE: 1pm Doors

sun 12/14 Night show Grimis, Blastronauts, Action Verbs, Plastic Reverie $8adv/$9dos

Mon 12/15

Polk Records presents Another Polk Christmas Party with The Antlers, Gypsy Cab, The Beasts of England, This Building’s On Fire, Alive and Awake $8 NOTE: 8pm Doors

tue 12/16

The Living Sea, The Mystery Tramps, Loud Clappers $8

Wed 12/17

Sparky’s Flaw (Mercury Records, fr. VA), Sunset is a Battle, Soap Stars $9

DoWNstairs thu 12/11

MassConcerts presents The New Deal, Mocean Worker $22adv/$25dos

Fri 12/12

Freezepop, Bon Savants, The Toothaches, Barnicle $12

sat 12/13

Team Shred presents The Viennagram, Asleep in a Box, Aux, Sizzlechest $10

Wed 12/17

MassConcerts presents Taproot, Silent Season, Resin

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My House Live Jazz and Open Jazz Jam w/ Renato Malavasi and Friends [8pm/21+/free]

commerce

Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall Triviaoke [10pm-12am] Karaoke [12am/21+]

gift guide

Biltmore Grille Mark Purcell [9pm]

Eats + drinks

Voyager 01 and DJ Uppercut [10pm/21+/$5]

dig this

Building’s On Fire, Alive and Awake [8pm/18+/ $8]

A + E

Harpers Ferry Radio Fix w/ Antique Scream [8pm/18+]

Music

rev aaron

All Asia Sam Reid and the Riot Act, Poverty Line Old Time Band, The Tin

Thistles [6pm] DJ Natan vs. DJ V-Nice [9pm/21+]

Leedz Edutainment presents Rhymezwell CD Release Party featuring Ebb & Flow, Calvery Crew, Nox Beatz & Fat Ricky, L.E.G. and more $10adv$13dos

movies

thu 12/11

monday 12.15

Dude, quit playing peek-a-boo through my hair. It’s so not metal. Razormaze, 12.15.08, at O’Brien’s.

This is how rumors get started, Sincerely the Management, Doug Orey $8adv/$9dos

arts

Wilbur Theatre Bon Iver [8pm/$21.50]

WORDS

Ryles Jazz Brunch [10am-3pm] Salsa Sundays [6pm/18+/$10]

comedy

Wed 12/10

Rise Earth [2am/18+/$10 members, $20 guests]

Comics

Precinct Sea Monsters [10pm/21+]

Classifieds

Plough & Stars Frank Drake and the Aristocrats [5pm/21+] Frank Morey Band [9pm/21+]

ADULT

Upstairs

SUNDAY 12.14

exit polls

MUSIC | for advertising + listings info, [email protected]

39

CD reviewS

From the department of the inevitable: “We are proud to announce that Tiësto has teamed up with the game developer Activision and their latest project DJ Hero … ‘This is a great way to introduce people into DJing,’” says Tiësto, “‘Maybe they realize it’s not as easy as they think.’” Dude, shut up.

LADYHAWKE | S/T

FENNESZ | BLACK SEA GENRE | PERFECT-WORLD POP VERDICT | THE ANTI-BRIT RELEASE | 12.9.08 LABEL | MODULAR INTERSCOPE LADYHAWKEMUSIC.COM

Any music critic or magazine who already submitted their best of 2008 is going to have egg on their collective face in the years to come. There’s little doubt this debut from New Zealand’s Phillipa “Pip” Brown will go down as one of the best releases of 2008. It’s not simply her reinvention of ’80s “happy sad” pop, and it’s not her sexy Stevie Nicks style. It’s not the hipster drawl or the innumerable quality remixes. It’s the songwriting. While the ass-end of US culture gobbles up Britney repeating “Womanizer” 700 times, Brown is writing arena-worthy anthems and legitimate songs. I am sure the office is sick to death of me playing “My Delirium,” but I, for one, can’t get enough of it. As each verse passes by, the wait for the brilliant chorus seems to get longer. The video is the shit, too. All 12 songs are like that. An excellent album. [DAVID DAY]

PAVEMENT | BRIGHTEN THE CORNERS: NICENE CREEDENCE EDITION GENRE | HIPPIE ROCK VERDICT | SLACKENED FURTHER RELEASE | 12.9.08 LABEL | MATADOR RECORDS MATADORRECORDS.COM/ PAVEMENT

As a tremendous Pavement fan in college, I practically became a deadhead (asphalt-face?) when I followed them on a short Midwestern tour, and I am all for supporting indie labels like Matador. But after buying the deluxe Wowee Zowee, I’m starting to tire of this nostalgia trip. “Transport Is Arranged” sounds better than ever, but hearing unreleased songs just feels like a waste and is even effecting my once-pristine devotion to these NoCal boys. Leave them unreleased much? [DAVID DAY]

GENRE | STATIC SOUND VERDICT | LIVING MUSIC RELEASE | 11.24.08 LABEL | TOUCH FENNESZ.COM

For ravers, “chill out” music is what you play after you’ve stayed up all night, the sun is rising and whatever drugs you’ve ingested are wearing off. The idea is that ambient music is like a cleansing mechanism, an aural Q-Tip to squeegee out whatever pulsing beat remnants are still glomming onto your inner ear. Fennesz is like that, but the drugs are of the everyday variety (caffeine, say) and the beat is the regular detritus that fills our craniums as we walk through the day. “The Colour of Three” sounds like a harmonium from the planet Pluto, while the melody you can hear through the static wall of “Glide” (as played by drone cohort Rosy Parlane) sounds like heaven. Christian Fennesz, of Austria, is a modern composer like none other. Whether it’s his masterpiece Endless Summer or “Vacuum” here, he has the ability to make the celestial our own. [ADA HUTCHINSON] FREE BLOOD | THE SINGLES GENRE | WEIRDO BEARDO VERDICT | DOWNLOAD THIS RELEASE | 11.11.08 LABEL | RONG MUSIC FREEBLOODMUSIC.COM

The usually reliable DFA Records teams up with the hit-or-miss slow-brow disco label Rong Music and the results are just as mixed. I’m not sure who would take to the lead single “Never Hear Surf Music Again,” or its odd Barfly Mix, but I do know reedit king Greg Wilson can make any track hum like a newly tuned Aston Martin. He turns the strange, clattering “Grumpy” into a smooth dancefloor machine. [ADA HUTCHINSON] ZURMUS ZUNZUN

BRITNEY SPEARS | CIRCUS GENRE | POP AND GAG VERDICT | STOP, PLEASE STOP RELEASE | 11.2.08 LABEL | JIVE BRITNEYSPEARS.COM

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

40

More from the fish about her fishbowl. The themes are tired and the melodies are snoring. And lyrics? “I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t care / I don’t care.” I feel sorry for people who think this is good. [DEBBIE DRISCOLL]

MELISSA ETHERIDGE | A NEW THOUGHT FOR CHRISTMAS GENRE | ATHEIST SPIRITUALS VERDICT | YULETIDE GHEY RELEASE | 9.30.08 LABEL | ISLAND MELISSAETHERIDGE.COM

When Etheridge’s growl barrels into “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and she takes in that sexy, clenched inhale, it gives me the shudders. [DEBBIE DRISCOLL]

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Classifieds

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A + E

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Letters

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WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

42

table of contents Letters us

DOUBT

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Award-winning play turns to movie mush

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DOUBT RATED | PG-13 OPENS | 12.12.08

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I’m afraid this isn’t the Robert Downey Jr. movie trailer in Tropic Thunder.

NAMBLing the only black kid in school. A taut meeting ensues in Sister Aloysius’ office, and Shanley drives home his characters’ emotional states by tilting the camera to the side, à la the Batman TV series. Bad move. It undercuts the slow-motion fireworks going on between the actors. Sister Aloysius talks to the kid’s mother (Viola Davis), and we find out he’s gay and his father beats him. We also find out that when she cries, a line of mucous drops out of her nose toward her mouth, and Shanley features it in bracing close-ups. In the end, this delicate web is woven for naught, as Shanley’s heavy editorializing makes us certain of what happened, instead of keeping the outcome up in the air, leaving me to doubt whether Shanley should have ever directed his own screenplay.

Classifieds

As long as the tone is subtle, Doubt works. Shanley does 1964 so well, with such perfectly realized clothes, cars and details like transistor radios and authentic telephones, you almost believe the film was actually shot back then. But as the plot kicks in, Shanley’s creditability erodes. Sister James accuses Flynn of

ADULT

The opening scenes set the table, taking us behind the curtain of an average Sunday service, starting with a child waking up and hurrying to the church for his altar boy duties. The camera gradually takes in a number of viewpoints, cutting between churchgoers chatting as they head down the city streets, and Flynn, preparing to give his sermon. As the reverend speaks about doubt and freedom of dissent, Sister Aloysius polices the pews, striking terror into the hearts of snoozing tykes. Shanley smoothly contrasts the sound and the visuals, using a handheld cam for Streep and a static shot of Hoffman, constantly switching the two viewpoints as the sermon continues, emphasizing the divide between the main protagonists that will become the centerpiece of the film. Amy Adams enters as Sister James, one of the teaching nuns, looking effectively down-to-earth (and far from Enchanted). As the kids line up outside the school, one of them is singled out by Aloysius, and Flynn remarks to Sister James: “The dragon is hungry,” hinting of the conflict to come.

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I

f I were clever, I’d write an entire review of this film that left you wondering what my true opinion of it was. Doubt is supposed to be about just that—not knowing if an accused priest is diddling one of his altar boys, and using that to question organized religion. The play is known for its even-handedness, but the film unsubtly games the outcome. It’s hard to imagine going wrong with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep, two of the most deservedly decorated thespians in the biz. Hoffman plays Father Brendan Flynn, a priest with a lively sense of humor and intensity for living who, in a sign of the times, finds himself breaking away from the stodgy Catholic mindset. Streep is Sister Aloysius Beauvier, a brutal disciplinarian nun with a Brooklyn accent who, as school principal, is chief enforcer of the status quo. All that screenwriter/playwright/director John Patrick Shanley really had to do was hand them his script, set up a camera and get his ass out of their way. Shanley, however, seems ultimately incapable of doing that.

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review BY DAVID WILDMAN | [email protected]

43

CADILLAC RECORDS

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A meaningful, musical biopic REVIEW BY HARRY VAUGHN

Music biopic standards have been lowered in recent years due to the success of both Ray and Walk the Line, two prestigeoriented studio films. Coated with family values and crowd-pleasing rhythms, both movies use star power and loose truths to broadly categorize the music, the problems and the personas within. They may be entertaining, but they never developed into something of lasting insight. It’s a relief that Cadillac Records, by little-known film director Darnell Martin, manages to break those constraints. In Records, the lives of Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright), Little Walter (Columbus Short), Willie Dixon (Cedric the Entertainer), Chuck Berry (Mos Def) and Etta James (Beyoncé Knowles) are told from the perspective of Leonard Chess (Adrien Brody), a small-town producer who, in 1947 along with his brother, created the famous Chess Records studio in the South Side of Chicago.

You were right, Godzilla doesn’t have any balls.

CADILLAC RECORDS RATED | R NOW SHOWING | AMC LOEWS BOSTON COMMON, REGAL FENWAY 13, KENDALL SQUARE CINEMA, AMC BRAINTREE

Shot with an unassuming attention to detail, Records doesn’t feel like a history lesson as much as it does an immersion. Martin’s approach is deeply authentic and her ensemble of actors—each of whom envelop themselves into the bodies and souls of their characters—lends the film a piercing sense of drama. The structure of the story is what hurts the production the most. Martin elicits excellent turns from her cast, (especially Wright, Mos Def and Knowles), but

her narration jumps too fast at too many pivotal moments, leaving significant plot lines—like Etta James’ drug addiction— unexplored and incomplete. The overall craft, however, trumps any narrative flaws. Unlike Ray and Walk the Line, the film sits with its characters and their lives through the angry, heartbreaking and joyful riffs of their music. This is what music biopics are supposed to do, and it is in this essential vein that Cadillac Records succeeds.

A movie about the only people that can make comic book geeks cool.

HELVETICA SATURDAY 12.13.08 RABB LECTURE HALL BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY 700 BOYLSTON ST., BOSTON 2PM/FREE RSVP: [email protected] BPL.ORG HELVECTICAFILM.COM

Helvetica Free documentary screening demonstrates the power of font REVIEW By Carrigan Denny-Brown

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

12 10 08 – 12 17 08

44

Stare at that American Apparel ad a little longer—no, not at those, look at the font. It’s Helvetica, a typeface that is bold, precise, and, like the babe in the ad, it’s on every street corner. However, the story of Helvetica and how it came to be so “used” isn’t what you think; in fact, it’s a story about the tides of war, radical idealism and the neutral Swiss. In the documentary film Helvetica, the origins and motivations of the promiscuous font are brought to light, and I promise, you have never heard design geeks speak so lustily about anything. Design is a universal language that influences the

way we think, act and organize ourselves. And as much as the words themselves are important, the medium by which we are told where we are and where we should aspire to go is our silent negotiator. Given that Helvetica is the font we most see on our street signs, advertisements and corporate slogans, it’s no wonder that Helvetica has raised controversy, being labeled by some as the typeface of capitalism, and by others as the typeface of socialism. Being somewhat of a font nerd myself, I was truly moved by the poetic and inspiring way that such famous designers

and typographers as Neville Brody and Michael Bierut describe their art form and the power of a single font. And even the tasteless heathens will appreciate the excellent cinematography and soundtrack, which includes Caribou, El Ten Eleven and Motohiro Nakashima. In photo-like, single shots, we see text in a new way—through a designer’s expert lens, as it’s slathered on signs, walls and windows in over 50 cities worldwide. Ambient music plays and the skeptical viewer is mysteriously convinced by the sensitivities of the distances between letters. Helvetica speaks.

AMC Chestnut Hill 27 Boylston St., Chestnut Hill 617.277.2500 Screens: 5 [Prices: $9.25 GA; $8.25 students; $7.25 seniors & matinees; $6.25 children. Nearby T service: Chestnut Hill (Green Line D Branch); Bus Routes 60, 51] AMC Loews Boston Common 175 Tremont St., Boston 617.423.5801 Screens: 12 [Prices: $10 GA; $9 students; $8 seniors & matinees; $7 children. Nearby T service: Boylston (Green Line, Silver Line), Park Street (Green Line, Red Line), Chinatown (Orange Line, Silver Line); Bus Route 43] AMC Loews Harvard Square 10 Church St., Cambridge 617.864.4580 Screens: 5 [Prices: $9.25 GA; $8.25 students; $7.25 seniors & matinees; $6.25 children. Nearby T service: Harvard Station (Red Line); Bus Routes 1, 71-75, 77-78, 96] Brattle Theatre 40 Brattle St., Cambridge 617.876.6837 Screens: 1 [Prices: $9.50 GA; $7.50 students & matinees; $6.50 seniors & children. Nearby T service: Harvard Station (Red Line); Bus Routes 1, 66, 71, 73, 86] Capitol Theatre 204 Mass. Ave., Arlington 781.648.4340 Screens: 6 [Prices: $7 GA; $6.50 students; $5 children before 6pm, seniors & matinees. Nearby T service: Bus Routes 77, 87, 350] Circle Cinemas 399 Chestnut Hill Ave., Brookline 617.566.4040 Screens: 7 [Prices: $9.75 GA; $7.25 seniors, children & matinees. Nearby T service: Reservoir (Green Line D Branch), Cleveland Circle (Green Line C Branch), Chestnut Hill Ave. (Green Line B Branch); Bus Routes 51, 86] Coolidge Corner Theatre 290 Harvard St., Brookline 617.734.2500 Screens: 4 [Prices: $9.50 GA; $7.50 seniors & children (Fri-Sun); $6.50 seniors & children (Mon-Thu); $6 members; $7.50 matinees. Nearby

T service: Coolidge Corner (Green Line C Branch), Harvard Ave. (Green Line B Branch); Bus Route 66] Entertainment Cinemas Fresh Pond 168 Alewife Brook Parkway, Cambridge 617.661.2900 Screens: 5 [Prices: $8.75 GA; $5.75 seniors, children & matinees. Nearby T service: Alewife Station (Red Line); Bus Route 83] Harvard Film Archive 24 Quincy St., Harvard University, Cambridge 617.495.4700 Screens: 1 [Prices: $8 GA; $6 seniors & students. Nearby T service: Harvard Station (Red Line); Bus Routes 1, 69, 86] Kendall Square Cinema 1 Kendall Sq., Cambridge 617.499.1996 Screens: 9 [Prices: $9.25 GA; $7 seniors, children & matinees. Nearby T service: Kendall Station (Red Line)] Museum of Fine Arts 465 Huntington Ave., Boston 617.369.3907 Screens: 1 [Prices: $9 GA; $8 seniors, children, & students; $7 matinees for GA; $6 matinees for seniors, children & students. Nearby T service: MFA (Green Line E Branch); Bus Routes 39, 47] Regal Fenway Stadium 201 Brookline Ave., Boston 617.424.6111 Screens: 13 [Prices: $10 GA; $8 students & matinees; $7.75 seniors; $7 children. Nearby T service: Kenmore (Green Line), Fenway (Green Line D Branch); Bus Routes 8, 60, 65, 47] Showcase Cinemas Revere 565 Squire Rd., Revere 781.286.1660 Screens: 20 [Prices: $10 GA; $7.25 seniors, children & matinees. Nearby T service: Bus Routes 119, 411, 426, 428-429] Somerville Theatre 55 Davis Sq., Somerville 617.625.5700 Screens: 5 [Prices: $7 GA; $6.50 students; $5 children before 6pm, seniors & matinees. Nearby T service: Davis Station (Red Line); Bus Routes 87, 88, 90, 94, 96]

[video game]

FOR ANY GAMER AT ALL

POP SURF CULTURE | BY BRIAN CHIDESTER AND DOMENIC PRIORE SANTA MONICA PRESS | $39.95

Dads with too-large record collections will recognize Domenic Priore as the man who compiled Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMiLE!, the first scholarly text dedicated to the mysteries of The Beach Boys’ lost album. Priore and co-author Brian Chidester have amassed their knowledge into a book that traces not only surfing itself but also it’s metaphor for the Beats, a movement that eventually represented ’60s counterculture. Pop Surf Culture is both coffee table book and textbook, with a stunning collection of rare relics and photographs. Sixties pop obsessives will be rewarded with more than enough connections and recommendations to make the book pay for itself (did you know that before Deep Throat, Carol Connors was a surf rock queen?). Film fans will likewise find a favorable assessment of the beach movie genre. With plenty of history and eye candy, Pop Surf Culture wins. [JONATHAN DONALDSON]

PREPAID GIFT CARDS | WII POINTS, MICROSOFT POINTS OR

PLAYSTATION NETWORK

NINTENDO, MICROSOFT, SONY | VARIOUS PRICES

Not sure what to get that grubby, Cheetos-encrusted gamer? How about prepaid gift cards? Some of the best games of 2008 aren’t available in stores, but distributed digitally and downloadable straight to the console, including top titles like World of Goo on the Wii, Braid and Geometry Wars II for the 360, and PixelJunk Eden for the PS3. All it takes is an internet connection and a credit card, or one of these gift cards. With a Wii Point card, your gamer buddy can download new WiiWare games or classics through the Virtual Console. Microsoft Points and PlayStation Network cards can pay for not just new games, but additional content for discbased standards. Or get them a few crates of Mountain Dew from Sam’s Club instead. [GARRET MARTIN]

[dvd]

FOR THE WESTERNOBSESSED, VULGAR GRAMPS

[dvd]

FOR MY MOM

DEADWOOD | THE COMPLETE SERIES HBO VIDEO | $179.97

With the look of Tombstone, the dramatic ambitions of Shakespeare (no joke—the dialogue segues in and out of iambic pentameter) and more fucks per minute than a season of The Osbournes, Deadwood comes at you like a finely tooled boot to the face. Although something of an anomaly, Deadwood reinvented how the drama of the American West could be done and showed that everything’s better when you can be profane and profound. With 23 discs in all, Deadwood is ready to kick the ass of any other show you have on the DVD shelf. Much like rye whiskey, the show might be a little harsh at first, but if you just keep at it, you find something that ultimately reveals itself as rich and complex. “Merry motherfucking Christmas, cocksucker.” [JARROD ANNIS] LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE | THE COMPLETE TELEVISION SERIES LIONS GATE | $279.98

The look on my mom’s face is easily worth the cashola one would spend on this overwhelmingly complete version of the most wholesome TV show of all time. In the ’70s, a decade of debauchery, sexual revolution and key parties, Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wholesome time-machine transported my dear mother once a week to an era when the unknown American frontier depended on religious myth to maintain order (Michael Landon was probably a sex god, too). Plus, with the election of Barack Obama, she’ll now have something else to watch besides the bilious Fox News Channel. All nine seasons are here, as are the three made-for-TV movies and seven-plus hours of bonus material. I won’t even mind spending the rest of the day showing her how to work the DVD player. I can already hear her exclaim: “Good gracious!” [DAVID DAY]

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In the ’80s, young Americans had a bloodlust for all things ninja. I’ve always hated the damn things, though. I didn’t expect much out of Ninjatown, then, which looked like a rip-off of Desktop Tower Defense propped up with tired ninja jokes. But Ninjatown’s actually pretty awesome—an adorable and genuinely funny game for all ages. The ninjas of Ninjatown are like Smurfs, little critters protected by a white-whiskered patriarch called Ol’ Master Ninja. Through him, players oversee the defense of Ninjatown from invading demons by building various fortifications. Like most tower defense games, Ninjatown is more about strategy, although there are a few special powers that make use of the DS touch-screen and microphone. Difficulty escalates nicely, and levels continually introduce new game-play mechanics, perfect for both seasoned and occasional gamers. [GARRETT MARTIN]

Music

FOR THE DS-ADLLED

NINJATOWN | SOUTHPEAK INTERACTIVE NINTENDO DS | $29.99

movies

[video game]

arts

This elegant and well-designed documentary book is in fact four books in one. Although the inclusion of Mia Kirschner as author undoubtedly grabbed everyone’s attention, they were all pleasantly surprised, from the Village Voice on down to Elle. Thanks to her impassioned writing, and her design of AdBusters’ own Simons and Shoebridge, we’re clearly informed of differentiating plights from around the world. In one book, we are taken to a Chechen refugee camp in Ingushetia, Russia; another transports us to the ethnic cleansing in Burma. The effects of globalization in Mexico and AIDS in Malawi round out this upsetting travelogue. Herself a granddaughter of the Holocaust, Kirschner would seize the imagination of any young mind, her rowr-inducing appearances in the L Word, Exotica and others notwithstanding. [ADA HITCHINSON]

WORDS

FOR THE PARTYING POPS

Never mind the queen, God save the Bean! A neatly dressed yet annoyingly awkward character, Mr. Bean’s antics always manage to find some way to gracefully (or gracelessly) win me over. Easily one of my favorite Brits—sandwiched between Beckham and Craig—Atkinson’s brainchild has become an iconic figure in British comedy while creating an international cult following. Just in time for the holidays, Mr. Bean: The Ultimate Collection is a seven-disc box set complete with the entire Mr. Bean TV series, Bean: The Movie, Mr. Bean’s Holiday and Mr. Bean: The Animated Series. If this isn’t enough (and for fans it never, ever is), we’re treated to deleted scenes, a mind-blowing music video and glimpses into what it took to create such brilliance. With hours of fun, you too can live the Bean. [JENNIFER CHOI]

AND MICHAEL SIMONS

PANTHEON | $29.95

comedy

[book]

MR. BEAN | THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION A&E HOME VIDEO | $69.95

FOR YOUR SISTER

I LIVE HERE | BY MIA KIRSHNER, J.B. MACKINNON, PAUL SHOEBRIDGE

Comics

FOR THE BRIT COMEDY LOVER

As hip-hop stars go, shit, as anything anywhere ever goes, Ol’ Dirty Bastard was one of a kind. Up until now, a categorical biography of the amazing MC was missing from my bookshelf. I’m happy to say Jamie Lowe, a New York writer with a litany of articles, has firmly stuck the landing with this one. From Wu-Tang MCs to ODB’s parental units, as well as managers and friends, Lowe justly weaves a convoluted web of race, mental illness and, of course, the MC’s agile ability to turn a phrase into a catchphrase. With more innate knowledge than even I expected, Russell Jones (or “Rusty,” to his moms) survives as both an enigma and legend, and Lowe’s heartfelt tome wraps it all up with dexterous diligence. [BRENT T. INGRAM]

[book]

Classifieds

[dvd]

DIGGING FOR DIRT: THE LIFE AND DEATH OF ODB | JAMIE LOWE FABER & FABER | $25

ADULT

[dvd]

FOR THE HIP-HOP HEAD

exit polls

DIG THAT | HOLIDAY SHOPPING EDITION!

45

a+e

826 ART AUCTION Drawing inspiration from kids, for a cause PREVIEW BY NISHA MAXWELL

Stella partner and comedy director bros down INTERVIEW BY ROB TURBOVSKY

STELLA WITH EUGENE MIRMAN THURSDAY 12.11.08 WILBUR THEATRE 246 TREMONT ST., BOSTON 617.931.2000 7:30PM/ALL AGES/$29.50 THEWILBURTHEATRE.COM STELLACOMEDY.COM David Wain may be less recognizable than his unflappably ironic Stella troupemates Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, but he’s no less prolific. The creator of MyDamnChannel.com’s Wainy Days and co-writer/director of cult favorites present (Wet Hot American Summer) and future (The Ten, Role Models), Wain brings laughter to the masses with Black and Showalter (joined by Eugene Mirman in Boston) for a brief tour.

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In his stand-up, Showalter reads the New York Times’ strangely personal negative review of Stella. Did those kinds of reactions confuse you? We definitely got some of those hostiletype reviews. Wet Hot, The State, The Ten and Stella all got a lot of “You’ve personally offended this critic, and I’m angry at you guys for being so unfunny.” It’s particularly dumbfounding for us, because we really thought we were just doing comedy. Some people are not interested in seeing what a lot of our comedy is, which is sort of profoundly, purposely unfunny. For some reason, we elicit true, genuine hostility among some critics, and then the other half of the critics are praising it as funny, groundbreaking and innovative. I’d rather be there than everyone saying it was OK. Can you enjoy your old work, or are you always evaluating it? I am particularly not like that. When we’re finishing something and I’m seeing it for the first time, then I’m watching all the decisions, thinking, Oh, we could have

done that differently and shit, I wish I could go back. But, from that point on, whenever I see it, I can just enjoy it. I’m always like, “Oh, wow, that was awesome.” That’s interesting, because someone like Woody Allen famously never re-watches his old movies. To some degree, I understand that, because you get so sick of it, and then you’re done with it and you can’t change it. I just saw Wet Hot for the first time in many, many years at a screening in Los Angeles, and I have to say I loved it. To be separated from all of the headaches and sweat you went through—in Wet Hot’s case, for four years—and to be able to see it as not just a movie but a movie that came through your brain and soul—it’s a great experience. Stella did an Obama benefit show. Is there anything in his victory that you’d like to take credit for? New York and Pennsylvania at the most. There were other factors, but if you look at what the New York Times said and a lot of what the more reputable analysts are saying, the Stella support is what swung Pennsylvania. What’s the first issue Obama should tackle? We want to see him promoting corn dogs more. A lot of people don’t eat corn dogs; a lot of people who eat corn dogs claim not to like them. I think we need to work on both the quality, and the distribution of corn dogs. They need to be more readily available. I think they should be at every Starbucks.

“T

igers come from Bangladesh, Siberia, Iran, Afghanistan, China, India and Indiana. All of the tigers weigh 660 pounds. […] They can each eat your head,” writes 9-yearold Anthony Mejia. He is one of three 826 Boston students whose writing is being artistically interpreted by over 50 artists for an upcoming auction to benefit 826 Boston. For those in the dark, 826 Boston is the seventh branch of 826 National, a nonprofit founded by McSweeney’s editor Dave Eggers. Based in Egleston Square, Roxbury, they work to support and enrich the Boston education system by inspiring kids to write—and write creatively. They provide a selection of free programs for urban youth, ages 6-18, including daily drop-in tutoring, inclassroom collaboration with Boston teachers, volunteer-guided writing workshops and field trips. “The goal,” says executive director Daniel Johnson, “is to get them really excited about reading and writing.” Every 826 location is embedded in a wacky storefront: The Boring Store in Chicago, Seattle’s Space Travel Supply Store and so on. In our case, it’s the Greater Boston Bigfoot Research Institute, a completely imaginary think tank dedicated to researching the bipedal cryptids; the profits of the store go toward the writing and tutoring center in the back room. “It also serves as a big source of inspiration for the students,” says Johnson. In addition to Mejia’s piece, an illustrated broadside of 9-year-old Sophia Madden’s Ode to a Tree, a half-English, half-Spanish poem penned during an 826 poetry workshop, will be auctioned. Also up for auction is an excerpt from Chiomo Nwaoha’s essay, A Bright and Sunny Day, included in I Wish They Would Have Asked Me, the 826 anthology of writing done by students at the English High School in Jamaica Plain. “It’s a great change to walk into an after-school space where the kids are happy to be there,” said Robert daVies, founder of Rope-a-Dope Press, a publishing collaborative based in Southie that’s collaborating with 826 to produce limited-edition broadsides. The broadsides are illustrated in response to the students’ writings. “Photography, charcoal, lots of different mediums will be used to respond,” says Johnson. Rope-a-Dope’s daVies, also an artist, illustrated a response to Madden’s

826 BOSTON’S ART AUCTION FRIDAY 12.12.08 ROBERT KLEIN GALLERY 38 NEWBURY ST., BOSTON 617.442.5400 6PM/FREE ROBERTKLEINGALLERY.COM 826BOSTON.ORG

james jean

DAVID WAIN

Ode to a Tree: a pen and ink drawing of a tall tree. Most of the tree is dark gray, the shadow contrasted in black ink. The composition mimics the relationship between the Spanish and English used in Sophia’s poem. In addition to the prints, 25 pieces by contemporary artists (Kiki Smith, Jane Marsching, Michael Mazur and more) have been donated for the auction. James Jean’s Maze creates a dreamy pop-surrealist atmosphere, where a boy chases a hula hoop in the distance and his fairy-tale sister watches him, leaning on a hula hoop constructed in the pattern of a labyrinth. The dreamlike depiction of childhood combined with the symbolism of the labyrinth supporting the girl feed into the concept of childhood as a dream, leaning on a bigger dream—the future, where walls are perpetually hit and new routes taken, dead ends being sometimes unavoidable. Maze is extremely appropriate for 826, an organization that is trying to minimize dead ends and empower the next generation through communication and self-expression.

Harvard Book Store 1256 Mass. Ave., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.661.1515. harvard.com Wed 12.17 The Philosophy Café, Soul vs. Cybernetics: Who are you, essentially? [7:30pm] Lizard Lounge 1667 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.547.0759. lizardloungeclub.com Sun 12.14 Lizard Lounge Poetry Night feat. The Jeff Robinson Trio [8pm/21+/$5] Porter Square Books 25 White St., Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.491.2220. portersquarebooks.com Sun 12.14 Knit One, Read Too [1pm]

Mottley’s Comedy Club 61 Chatham St., Boston. 617.427.0093. mottleycomedy.com Wed 12.10 The Lincoln Exhibit w/ Jon Lincoln, Chris Coxen, Robbie Roadsteamer [7:30pm/21+/$10] Thu 12.11 Supershow w/ Dan Sally, Andy Ofiesh [7:30pm/21+/$10] Fri 12.12 The Walsh Brothers w/ special,

THEATER Citi Performing Arts Center Wang Theatre 270 Tremont St., Boston. 617.482.9393. citicenter.org Dr. Suess’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical [$28-$78] Wed 11.26-Sun 12.28 [Tue 7:30pm; Wed 11:30am & 7:30pm; Thu 7:30pm; Fri 5pm & 8pm; Sat 11am, 2pm, 5pm & 8pm; Sun 11am, 2pm & 5pm] Boston Playwrights Theatre 949 Comm. Ave., Boston. 866.811.4111. bu.edu/bpt Bella Muerte [$12-$15] Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [8pm] Gold Dust Orphans at Theater Machine 1256 Boylston St., Boston. 617.266.8511. golddustorphans.com All About Christmas Eve [$28, $30]

big red & shiny picks Atlantic Works Gallery 80 Border St., top floor, East Boston. atlanticworks.org 12 Thu 12.4-Sat 1.10 Hynes Convention Center: South Rotunda Gallery 900 Boylston St., Boston. 617.954.3787.

susanpost.com The Defining Line Mon 12.1-Fri 1.16 Reception: Thu 12.11 [5pm-7pm] Kingston Gallery 450 Harrison Ave. #43, Boston. 617.423.4113. kingstongallery.com Simmons College Curatorial Studies Seminar:

New Repertory Theatre 321 Arsenal St., Watertown. 617.923.8487. newrep.org Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol [$35$55] Sun 12.14-Sun 12.28 [schedule varies] The Santaland Diaries [$35-$55] Wed 12.17-Sun 1.4 [schedule varies] Symphony Hall 301 Mass. Ave., Boston. 617.266.1492. bso.org Boston’s Holiday Pops! [$27-$122] Thu 12.11-Wed 12.31 [Tue-Sat 8pm] Zero Arrow Theatre Mass. Ave. and Arrow St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.547.8300. zeroarrowtheatre.org Aurelia’s Oratorio [$25-$79] Fri 11.28-Sun 1.3 [schedule varies]

>> bigredandshiny.com

On the Street Tue 12.2-Sat 12.20

Linga Sat 12.20 [2pm-3pm]

MIT List Visual Arts Center 20 Aims St., Cambridge. 617.253.4680. listart. mit.edu Adel Abdessemed: Situation and Practice Sat 10.11-Sun 1.4 Gallery Talk with Mark

Tufts University Art Gallery 40R Talbot Ave., Medford. 617.627.3094. ase. tufts.edu/gallery MFA Thesis Exhibition Thu 12.4-Sun 12.21

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Lyric Stage Company 140 Clarendon St., Boston. 617.585.5678. lyricstage.com The Mystery of Irma Vep [$25-$50] Fri 11.28-Sun 12.21 [schedule varies]

Music

Wilbur Theatre 106 Boylston St., Boston. 617.423.4008. thewilburtheatre.com Wed 12.10 NESN Comedy All Stars [7:30pm/free] Thu 12.11 Stella [7:30pm/$29.50]

Central Square Theatre 450 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.576.9278. centralsquaretheatre.org Alice’s Adventures Underground [$18-$32] Thu 12.4-Sun 12.28 [schedule varies]

movies

Coolidge Corner Theatre 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.734.2500. brooklinebooksmith.com Wed 12.10 Christopher Kimball, Jack Bishop, Becky Hays and Test Kitchen Director Erin McMurrer, America’s Test Kitchen Family Baking Book [6pm/$5]

Dick’s Beantown Comedy Vault at Remington’s Restaurant 124 Boylston St., Boston. 617.574.9697. dickdoherty.com Thu 12.11 The Chris Zito Show [8:30pm/21+/$12] Fri 12.12 Chris Zito, Orlando Baxter and friends [9pm/21+/$20] Sat 12.13 Chris Zito, Orlando Baxter and friends [8pm, 10:15pm/21+/$20] Sun 12.14 Carolyn Plummer hosts Boston’s Longest Open Mic [9pm/21+/$12] Mon 12.15 Kevin Knox Comedy Showcase [8:30pm/21+/$12] Tue 12.16 Jim Lauletta Comedy Showcase [8:30pm/21+/$12]

American Repertory Theatre 64 Brattle St., Harvard Sq., Cambridge. 617.547.8300. amrep.org Largo Desolato [$5, $10] Fri 12.5-Sat 12.13 [ThuSun 7:30pm]

arts

Cantab Lounge (Downstairs) 738 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.354.2685. cantab-lounge.com Wed 12.10 Boston Poetry Slam w/ Max Kessler [8pm/18+/$3] Wed 12.17 Boston Poetry Slam w/ Eric Darby [8pm/18+/$3]

Improv Asylum 216 Hanover St., Boston. 617.263.6887. improvasylum.com Thu 12.11 Free Pasta Night [7pm/free], Main Stage Show [8pm/$10$20], Free Improv Set [9:45pm/free] Fri 12.12 Main Stage Show [8pm, 10pm/$10$20] Sat 12.13 Main Stage Show [8pm, 10pm/$18$20], Midnight Show [12am/$10] Wed 12.10 Vanity Project [8pm/$7.50-$15]

Huntington Theatre/ Boston Center for the Arts 527 Tremont St., Boston. 617.266.0800. huntingtontheatre.org Lea DeLaria [$25] Thu 12.11-Sat 12.13 [schedule varies]

WORDS

Comedy Studio Harvard Square 1238 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617.661.6507. thecomedystudio.com Wed 12.10 Fresh Faces w/ Kevin Anglin, Shaun Bedgood, PJ Brown, Rob Creen, et al [8pm/$8] Thu 12.11 The Thursday Show! [8pm/$8] Fri 12.12 Ken Reid hosts w/ Alvin David, Mike Lemme, Drew Spangler, Steve Macone, et al [8pm/$10] Sat 12.13 Nate Johnson, Steve Macone, Brian Moote, Tony Maschetto, et al [8pm/$10] Sun 12.14 The Shaun Bedgood Show [8pm/$8] Tue 12.16 Mystery Lounge [8pm/$10] Wed 12.17 Dan Crohn, Mike Del Ilano, Andrew Raymond Durson, Steve Macone, et al [8pm/$8]

Fri 12.5-Sun 1.3 [Fri & Sat 8pm, Sun 12.21 & Sun 12.28 4pm]

comedy

Brookline Booksmith 279 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. brooklinebooksmith.com Thu 12.11 Stephen Pimpare and Howard Zinn, A People’s History of Poverty in America [7pm] Tue 12.16 M.T. Anderson, The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, Volume II: The Kingdom on the Waves and Deb Olin Unferth, Vacation [7pm]

possibly strange, guests [7:30pm/21+/$20] Sat 12.13 The Walsh Brothers w/ special, possibly strange, guests [7:30pm/21+/$20] Wed 12.17 The Lincoln Exhibit w/Jon Lincoln, Chris Coxen [7:30pm/21+/$10]

Comics

COMEDY

Classifieds

WORDS

ADULT

listings

exit polls

arts, performing arts, comedy + words

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marketplace classifieds | comics | savage love

Accounting Job/ Customer Service Job. Seeking representatives for a rapidly expanding Company. We are receiving more responses than we can handle and are looking for people who can assist these customers.Contact us directly by email to: [email protected] ! BARTENDING ! $300/day potential. No Experience Necessary. Training provided. 800-965-6520 ext. 262. Campaign Jobs Stop Torture and Protect Human Rights Earn $350 - $550/week. Come work with Grassroots Campaigns to help Amnesty International USA to build support for Amnestyís 100 day agenda for the new administration. Our goals are to close Guantanamo Bay prison, eradicate torture and end impunity. Full-time, part-time and holiday jobs Leadership opportunities available NOW Call David at (617) 338 - 7882 VOLUNTEER IN AFRICA/BRAZIL Community Development in rural areas. No experience necessary. Fees apply/Financial aid. [email protected] www.iicd-volunteer.org 1-413-441-5126

Rapidly Expanding E-mail Marketing Company is currently Hiring!!! Rapidly expanding E-mail marketing company is hiring database programmers, database programmers, software engineers, HTML campaign developers, QA engineers, System Analyst, Web Application Engineers, Web Developers. Look for E-Dialog’s page on www.facebook.com

Quick, Experienced & Qualified- full time LINE COOKS are currenly NEEDED Upscale restaurant in Boston’s historic North End is in search of highly motivated and qualified FULL-TIME LINE COOKS to join our team! Candidates must have Italian cooking experience and have a background working in a highvolume, fast-paced kitchen. Hardworking, good under pressure and at least 3 years on the job experience required! Please forward resume and contact information along with relevant experience and qualifications to [email protected]

3%#2%4!3)!.-!.\4!+4/9/3()-!\3%#2%4!3)!.-!.#/-

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CAMPAIGN MANAGERS currently needed Want to work for the hippest, fastest growing company in Massachusetts? E-Dialog is currently hiring Campaign Associates and Managers. If you would like to learn more about what we are all about, please check out e-Dialog’s page on www.facebook.com SALES and MARKETING opportunities Sales/Marketing Professionals are currently needed to promote financial products/credit cards for Major Airlines. Great way to earn supplemental income, with a flexible schedule. For immediate consideration please call us at 1-888-691-1810 or email [email protected] Please check us out on the web at www.klmgroup.com

BILINGUAL?? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? The Boston Area Spanish Exchange is now enrolling for Spanish classes. Make yourself in high demand- learn a second language! If you would like to learn more about this opportunity, please call 617-773-1211 for more info.

Are you overweight?? We are recruiting women for a clinical study at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Healthy women between ages 22-70 and at least 15 lbs overweight that are non-smoking and not diabetic. Outpatient clinical study examining the effects of a medication on body weight and hunger. The study involves visits at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center Clinical Research Center. 1 This study involves the use of a medication approved by the FDA for the treatment of type 2 diabetes. Call Gosala Gopalakrishnan/Dr Dushay at 617-667-0362 or email [email protected] ARE YOU SHY Do you avoid doing things or speaking to people because you fear embarrassment? Do you avoid being the center of attention? Do you worry excessively about being embarrassed or looking stupid? If you answered yes to any of these questions, are over 18, and have no bipolar disorder, no schizophrenia, an no recent alcohol/drug abuse, you may be eligible to participate in a medication treatment research study for Social Anxiety. Clinical care is provided at no cost. Compensation is limited to parking or travel. 1-866-44-worry or [email protected]

Are you thinking about having a baby? If you are between the ages of 20 and 34 years old and are planning for your first pregnancy, you and your male partner might be eligible for a lifestyle and fertility study. For more information on this study, please call 781-434-6556 or email [email protected]

ESP STUDY- RIGHT HANDED 18-55 YR OLDS Do you have ESP, telepathy or a “sixth sense”, anxiety in social situations, and difficulty making friends? Call 857-3645621 to participate in the ESP Research Study. Compensation up to $400 Healthy Men Needed Men between the ages of 18 and 50 are invited to participate in a research study at Boston Medical Center to evaluate the actions of testosterone (male hormone) on muscle and sexual function. -FINANCIAL COMPENSATION IS PROVIDEDFor more information please call 617-414-3793 HIV NEGATIVE GAY/BI MEN needed to participate in a research study at Fenway Community Health. The study will test whether taking an HIV drug is safe and effective for HIV negative men who have sex with men. If so, this may become a future HIV prevention method. Participants will receive confidential HIV counseling and $50 per visit. Call 617-927-6450 RESEARCH STUDY ON ANOREXIA NERVOSA ($550) FEMALE VOLUNTEERS who are currently anorexic, or have recovered from past symptoms of anorexia nervosa, age 18-45, in stable medical health, and not taking medications (with the exception of oral contraceptives), are sought for a study of behavioral ratings and blood hormone levels. Eligible participants will receive up to $550 for a total of 4 outpatient visits and 2 overnight stays at the Clinical Research Unit at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center FOR MORE INFORMATION: Contact Alix Zamansky, @ Boston College: (617) 552-2758 or [email protected]

Cash for Old Gold We pay cash for your old, broken, unworn gold and silver. Gold and Ssilver coins and watches too. We also buy select watches, quality diamonds over 1 ct. Gold and Diamonds ETC 29 Pleasant Street Malden Ma 781-3244345. Come in for an estimate today!!!

Free Yorkshire Terriers to Good Home 2 teacup yorkies- male and female- needs rehoming for Christmas Bonus. Contact [email protected] for more information.

TAX PROBLEMS???!!!! IRS representation and tax preparation by CPA/Ex-IRS Revenue Agent. 617-335-2988 www.davidrootcpa.com

ARLINGTON- 2 BR Large, 2BR, deleaded, hardwood floors, recently renovated, No Fee, in Arlington... spacious, certified deleaded, recently renovated, 6 rooms - 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, living room, dining room, kitchen, nice hardwood floors throughout, large closets, ample basement storage. The apartment is 1 block from Mass Ave and 10 min walk from Alewife T (red line, 3 stops to Harvard Square). Off-street parking for 2 cars is included. Convenient to Route 2 for easy access to 128. One of the few de-leaded apartments in Arlington. There are parks and a Minuteman bike trail. Pets OK. Available 1/1/09. Rent is $1700/month, NO FEE, direct with owner. Call 781 608-0024. Boston - 2 BR Located near the subway in Fenway. Includes: Dishwasher, Disposal, Hardwood floors, Concierge, Elevator, HighSpeed Internet, Pets Allowed (more) Contact David Goulart at 617-277-5800 or 617-272-5774 (cell) with referral # Kahoots-383039 NextStep Properties

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comics the thinking ape blues | mark poutenis | thinkingapeblues.com LULU EIGHTBALL | EMILY FLAKE | EFLAKEAGOGO.COM

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savage love THE HELL YOU WANT BY DAN SAVAGE | [email protected]

“Sadly, there’s no out-of-the-box solution I can recommend,” says Cory Silverberg of Come As You Are, Toronto’s workerowned-and-operated sex shop. “There are harnesses that are meant to strap on to the head, like the Head-On Harness available at stockroom.com. But it covers the mouth.” So you wouldn’t be able to eat your girlfriend out with one buckled to your face. Cory continues, “And there is the often-poked-fun-at Accommodator.” (A

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latex harness that straps a dildo to your chin and looks just as ridiculous as it feels.) “But it isn’t hollow, so it couldn’t be worn comfortably over the nose,” he says. And finding something that fits comfortably over your nose is going to be your biggest problem. “It would need to be hollow,” explains Cory, “but it would need enough heft such that it wouldn’t be constantly buckling and hitting you in the mouth or between the eyes. The tricky thing is that the nose is so close to the eyes, so anything with straps might dig in or at least go over the eyes in an uncomfortable way.” So what do you do? “Get in touch with a good harness maker and ask if they do custom work,” Cory recommends. “One of my favorites is Outlaw Leather in Seattle (outlawseattle.com).” Outlaw Leather produces high-quality dildo harnesses and could,

in theory, make you a dildo harness that fits comfortably over your nose. Custom work is expensive, of course. “But no one said dreams came cheap,” says Cory. But if you’re going to go the custom-made route, SFD, I think you might have better luck with a custom-made hood. They’re designed to be worn over the nose, and most have mouth openings. You could easily have one made with a wider mouth opening and an extended nosepiece. “You could also go the Cyrano de Bergerac route,” says Cory, “and look into getting a high-quality prosthesis that fits over the nose.” He thinks the folks lurking at Pinocchia (forums.pinocchia. com)—a site for guys into girls with big noses—might have some idea where to get a prosthesis. I’m a 30-year-old, mildly genderqueer, bileaning-het male virgin. I’m not uncomfortable around women—pretty much all of my friends are women—I don’t really have any confidence issues, and I know I’m not a prude. But for reasons too complicated to get into here, I just haven’t gotten around to screwing anybody yet. I’m waiting for the right person, and it just hasn’t happened yet. I don’t want to have sex with somebody who’s drunk or emotionally vulnerable, or manipulate anybody, and it’s very important to me that sex be (among other things) a form of affection and not isolated sex-for-sex’s sake. I know I’m the only person who can answer the question of whether I want to have sex right now. But do I need to have sex right now? Because one day I’m going to fall in love, and it’s going to get sexual. The message I hear from a lot of people I respect is that I’m going to pay a price for waiting until then to get laid. Am I? Am I probably going to be OK? -Virgin At Thirty Yeah, you’ll be OK—but by ruling out drunks, the emotionally vulnerable and the easily manipulated, VAT, you increase the odds that you’ll remain a virgin for the rest of your natural life. A lot of very beautiful relationships—to say nothing of a lot of very timely deflowerings—owe

their existences to booze, emotional vulnerability and a little well-timed, well-intentioned manipulation. And wherever did you get the idea that sex-for-sex’s sake can’t also be affectionate? I am a straight, 18-year-old girl and a college freshman. A couple of months ago, I lost my virginity to my first serious boyfriend, and since then we’ve been having sex several times a day. Apparently we have been a bit too enthusiastic, because my boyfriend received a note from his downstairs neighbors. In crass and abusive language, they told us to keep it down. I was mortified. Post-note, I’ve been tense and nervous during sex, more focused on listening for the neighbors than enjoying the act. This is upsetting me terribly, and I don’t know how to make it better. Even if we are both silent, the bed inevitably squeaks and thumps. There is really nowhere else on campus for us to go (I have three roommates who don’t get out much). What should I do? I am so depressed by this situation. -Loud And Clear Go buy the original Broadway cast recording of Avenue Q. The next time you have sex, blast “You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want (When You’re Makin’ Love)” at top volume. When the neighbors complain about the music, tell them that they can listen to show tunes or put up with the noise you guys make when you have sex—their pick. For the full text of this week's column, go to weeklydig.com. DOWNLOAD DAN SAVAGE’S WEEKLY PODCAST, SAVAGE LOVECAST, EVERY TUESDAY AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE.

Joe Newton

I am obsessed with my girlfriend sitting on my face, so I can eat her out while my nose penetrates her. It drives her crazy as well. I am wondering if you have heard of a dildo that could be mounted on my face, specifically on my nose, so that I penetrate her more deeply while she sits on my face and I lick her clit? Basically, I want her to be able to really ride my face while I lick her clit. -Strange Fantasy Dude

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EDITORIAL

DANIELLE OUTSIDE THE HARP AFTER A BUFFALO BILLS LOSS, 12.7.08

EMILY AFTER THE 826 BENEFIT AT THE HARD ROCK CAFE, 12.2.08

Do you dream of Jim Kelly when you go to sleep in your special pajamas? I dream of the day the Bills make the playoffs again. But I’m at the point this year when I say the same phrase: “There’s always next year.”

Why do The Men call themselves The Men? Because boys like to think they’re grown up and call themselves men.

Did you see all the memorabilia? There’s that guitar that’s orange. Oh, that’s the logo. What did you like the most? I really liked the Polaroid by the bathroom of John and Yoko. It was attention-grabbing, but in a mild way. How’d you like to be in a band whose memorabilia is in the bathroom? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom, so if your memorabilia is actually in the bathroom you are all set. If you were behind the door in the women’s stall, you’d be in great shape.

What do you like most about 826 Boston? I love writing. I’m in a doctoral program and I’m a professor so I have to write. I write a lot concerning art theory and philosophy and aesthetics.

You’re a Bills fan, I can tell by your pants. They’re called Zubaz.

What was the most pleasing thing about the show tonight? The lights flashed with the beat.

They look kind of like pajamas. That’s why they’re so comfortable. They’re my Sunday pants. I wear them every Sunday, football season or not. I also wore them to class every single day in college. I went to school in Buffalo.

Where’d you get this cool coat? I got it on the Cape. It was mismarked. It had handwritten tags and they wrote $24 instead of $42. It was in Chatham. Fucking Chatham! And the scarf is Tibetan. And the bag is from Florence.

Why did you move to Boston? There’s not many jobs in Buffalo. I have friends out here and there’s some good rugby teams here. I play for Boston Women’s Rugby. Oh shit! Yeah, back off! Just kidding.

Oh, does that start now? That’s our favorite phrase in Buffalo. There’s talk they’ll move to Toronto. When you were 19, you went to Canada to drink. Damn Canadians! Corrupting our youth … So you came to the Harp for the game? This is the official Bills Backers bar. These are all Bills fans. That makes a lot of sense to these other normal people. They seem really confused. They have free wings at halftime. I had some wings. Buffalo gave us Buffalo wings, and for that I thank you. You’re welcome. From the bottom of my stomach.

WATCH OUT! exit pollster david day is at large | weeklydig.com

crossword

by Brendan Emmett Quigley | brendanemmettquigley.com

>> ACROSS

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1 Secret society members 7 Like farmland 13 Acela operator 14 Sci-fi author Ursula 15 Wings song Paul McCartney played when he guest starred on The Simpsons 17 Cartoonist Keane 18 Latin trio leader 19 Pakistani president, 1978-88 20 Force on Earth, briefly 22 Big do 23 1450 in old Rome 24 Salon, e.g., informally 26 “___ be sorry!” 27 “Tea for Two” musical

30 Animate 31 Marriage, e.g. 32 Tpkes. 33 1980s video game with the enemies Sparx and Fuse 34 Father of Regan 38 Book before Neh. 39 Except 40 ___ Victor 41 Karen O’s band 46 Rococo 47 Accountant’s advice 48 Yes-man, perhaps 49 Attack moves

>> DOWN 1 Latin dance 2 With full force 3 Vogue 4 Sphere 5 Glaswegian’s negative

6 Runner with a turned-up nose 7 Historic mission 8 Riviera’s San ___ 9 Bygone dignitary 10 Barbershop request 11 Be at rest 12 Ultimate goal 16 Tequila drink 21 Family group 22 Car engine component 23 Roadside stopover 25 Dry ___ 26 Now 27 EarthLink alternative 28 Divisor, e.g. 29 Eighty-six 30 Stalk 33 Mysterious 35 Sister of Melpomene 36 Like ___ off the old block

37 Godfather’s utterances 39 Kilo- or megafollower

42 Was ill with 43 City map abbr. 44 NASA deviation 45 Skeleton’s head?

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