Death Of Confidence

Presents

THE DEATH OF CONFIDENCE How a failure in LOVE LIFE can instantly KILL Self Confidence & Self Esteem – and Here’s What to Do About It!

by Aery Prabhakar

Brought to you by

Success Mantra Inc. www.success-mantra.com

Once upon a time there was a guy named Romeo and a girl named Juliet. As you may already know, both fell madly in love with each other. They would do anything to become one – and staked everything else to do so. However, the world turned out to be really cunning for them. And we are all aware how they had to fight with the harsh world that did NOT want them to come together. The fight was tough, for sure. But they still fought it...as they were filled with the greatest force of all...love. There are countless stories of love and the fight it brings into an individual, group or a community to face any obstacle and turn it around. Love is such a wonderful thing! It can cause or stop wars. It can enable you to bring out the hidden, powerful potential locked inside you. It can fill your life with ecstasy, joy and magnificence. Love can change your life for good. It can bring out the humbleness, compassion and hidden emotions inside you. Those who have experienced loving someone or being loved by someone know the energy that love has the ability to arouse. Recently I noticed that a dictionary defines ‘love’ as:   

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties Strong positive emotion of regard and affection Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

Life becomes incredibly beautiful when love sprouts its first roots in one’s life. It’s an amazing and beautiful experience. Loving someone and being loved are the greatest feelings you can experience. We all want to be loved, feel accepted and significant to others, especially to that someone special. We human beings are all dying to love and be loved, admired and accepted. Throughout our lifetimes, we are striving for love. Love blesses some lives, and is also notorious for destroying some. We have the stories that define love as the most wonderful things in the world and some say the exact opposite about it. This special report is about the ‘opposites’. If you are someone who has experienced a failure in your love life or are going through a post break-up, this report will equip you with the tools, mindsets and beliefs that you need to get past it and instead, turn it around to your greatest advantage.

The principles discussed in this report also apply to dealing with ANY failure setback you have ever received in your life or will ever receive in your life. By using these principles, you’ll become bulletproof to any outer negative situations, circumstances or influences. Understand this: “Life is about living, not to prepare to live”. Most people in this world are preparing to start living some day in the future. “When I will have found the love of my life, I’ll really be happy.” Your happiness and peace of mind have no relation with getting or having anything outside of you. If it were so, we’ll all be putting so many conditions on our own happiness and peace that nobody would ever become happy. Real happiness and peace exist inside you, waiting to be tapped by YOU. More on this later.... End of relationships is not a very uncommon thing in today’s world. In fact, for most people, relationships are usually unstable for one or the other reason. Whatever it is The pain that an end of relationship causes is unbearable. All of us know at least one person who has been through this phase of his or her life. Heck, it could even be you. Either you can use this information for yourself or you can help someone who has been through it. Why is the pain so unbearable? Ask someone who’s hurt and he (she) will tell you, “I can’t forget her (him), no matter what I do. It’s simply out of my control.” Is it, really? I don’t think it’s true. I personally think we are always in control. It’s almost always are responsibility for everything happening in our lives. Well, I know how painful it is by experience. I know that a setback of this kind can put one’s life upside down. It’s like a jolt to one’s entire being and destroys all self confidence and self esteem in no time. I happen to know all this because I’ve been there, seen it, felt it and experienced it personally. When I experienced it, it seemed like my life was a complete disaster and there was some monstrous power up there in the sky that did not want me to be happy. I began to hate God (actually, I didn’t feel like believing in it anymore) and thought I’d have to give up. What’s more...consistent feelings of revenge and worthlessness began to spring in my mind. It seemed like nothing was under my control. I felt ashamed of myself and my life. Little did I realize at that time that I was not the ultimate victim, but the ultimate cause of everything that was happening in my life. Well, we always are!

As you feel that connection that binds us together in a similar experience, you will soon begin to realize that there’s also a way to break through it, and that you are going to learn it in this very report. And the way begins with your first step...by realizing that you are the one who’s running the whole show called your ‘life’. It’s not the circumstances, situations or other outer factors. No, not at all – it’s YOU! It’s an age old truth – We are the ultimate masters of our lives. Just in case, if you presently don’t believe in this statement, it’s ok. It’s my humble request to you to put your own judgement aside for a while. I didn’t invent this law. It’s a nature’s law. We attract in our lives what we focus upon most of the time. & “We become what we think about the entire day” Quite simply, those little, harmless creatures called thoughts that we are thinking all the time go out and make unbelievable things happen in the real world. This ‘law of attraction’ does not bother whether we believe in it or not, at least not more than law of gravity does. It simply keeps on working, like water keeps flowing in its direction even if you are trying to swim against the current. The law of gravity wouldn’t change even for Bill Gates, or Donald Trump, or for anyone who has ever lived on this earth. The universe that we live in operates in a perfectly synchronized system. The best example of this is our own solar system. Planets revolve around the sun in perfect orbits. It’s not hard to imagine what would happen if planets kept on crashing with each other all the time, and may be also shouting on each other (how would THAT look like?) Now think about an atom. An atom is the smallest component of a matter. It is so small that the tip of your fingers could easily contain probably thousands of atoms. In one tiny particle of sand, there are thousands of atoms. And each atom has the same structure of a solar system...which in turn is a just a tiny reflection of the entire universe containing millions and millions of galaxies. The entire system and structure of the entire infinite universe is therefore, perfectly duplicated in just one tiny particle of sand...how amazing, how profound, how beautifully magnificent is that....and you as a human being.....are a part of this great universe.

Everything’s a system in this universe. You can’t even cook a vegetable unless you know exactly the ingredients to be used in it and how to mix them together in the perfect way, let alone running your life without a system. Understand this: There are laws running this universe. And these laws apply to your life as well. There’s system everywhere. Ask yourself one thing. How would you cross an ocean faster – by swimming with the current or against it? Life is like a vast ocean. It makes sense to understand the laws that govern our lives and live in harmony with them. “You must begin to live in harmony with the laws of the universe” – Wallace D. Wattles, Science of Getting Rich Anything happening in any area of our lives is a reflection of what is happening in our internal world of thoughts. Our subconscious beliefs, habits and behaviours are causing everything that relate to their nature to manifest in your real life. Am I trying to say that you are responsible for everything that has happened so far in your life? Actually I am not just trying – I MEAN IT TO THE DEEPEST CORE OF MY HEART! Sorry for shouting. The reality is that you made it all happen. You are responsible. And this universal fact doesn’t point you out as a culprit. This is a reality that honours your presence as a master designer and ultimate creator of everything in your life. By taking responsibility of your life’s circumstances, you declare to your spiritual self your capability to change them anytime you want. It makes sense to be able to do so, if you made happen whatever is going on right now in your life. This law does not just apply to your love life but to each and every area of your life, whether it is your finances, relationships or health. But I digress... The first step to begin to take control of your life and everything going on in it is to dare yourself to accept all responsibility for everything going on in your life. See, it’s very easy to blame outer circumstances, the world around you and someone in particular for the bad things in your life. For some people, it’s just plain ‘bad luck’. “My stars are against me”, “I attract bad luck”, “I am unlucky”, is what they are saying to themselves and attracting more of it. After all, wouldn’t it be great if everything was simple, straight and easy?

It’d really be great if the fantasy of “bumping into that someone special by a stroke of fate, and living happily ever after” would come true – a fantasy that the most world is living by. But well..... Life isn’t that easy. We all have heard about relationship problems, betrayals, divorces and break ups which are prevalent in the society. May be you’ve been there yourself. I have taken my time to learn how to deal with this particular area of my life, and I have learned it the hard way. I had to. I simply had no choice. However, there’s one thing I must make this clear here - This report is NOT about getting your ex back. It’s about dealing with your own emotions that literally go wild after a break up and put your life to a sudden halt. It’s about gaining your lost self confidence and self esteem back. It’s about claiming your control over yourself and your life back. It’s about becoming more mature and powerful in the process. And....attracting someone who’s really worth your love and attention! You don’t need any one person in your life. You need the person who fits your description of your ideal partner. It may or may not be your ex. If he or she is the one for you, you will get her back. If not, you won’t. Let the universe handle this while you do what you are supposed to do – express your desire to it and then let go. Whatever be the highest good for you and everyone else involved will happen. Onwards Human mind is an amazingly complex biological machine. Our internal drives are way too deep rooted in our minds, controlling our every behaviour and inner feelings. I take this opportunity to differentiate between ‘love’ and ‘attraction’, the lack of understanding of which has brought misery to countless lives. What is Attraction? ‘Attraction’ is the nature’s way to ensure replication of human and animal race. Men and women are falling in love all the time with each other. Whether it is India, Australia or America, people get attracted to each other. (In fact, you could be born at

a distant island, never exposed to the world, and still get attracted to someone. It’s wired within us.) Attraction begins when we begin to realize our role as a man or woman, and we feel a strange mental and physical pull towards the opposite sex. This generally begins to happen as we step into our teenage years, or even earlier. But disregard to whenever it happens, the feeling is incredible. Where and how this feeling emerges is usually not relevant at this stage. It’s just there and it somehow makes sense to just follow it. It’s tooooo good to resist. Actually, we human beings seem to have no control over our attraction towards opposite sex. Men are wired to get attracted to women who display certain feminine characteristics in abundance such as a beautiful face, well-shaped body and a feminine voice. Similarly, women are wired to be attracted to men, who display masculine dominance and other leadership qualities. (Wussies have no chance here). We’ll not get into discussion of people getting attracted to same sex. There are different reasons for that which is irrelevant to our discussion here. Let’s get a little bit now into how and why attraction happens. ATTRACTION IS NOT LOGICAL “Attraction isn’t a choice” is the mantra of David Deangelo of Double your Dating fame. This particular mantra has changed my life and of those thousands who have learned and followed it. Simply put, we never choose to feel attracted to someone. It just happens. It’s never a conscious choice. If you are a man, the sight of a hot, beautiful woman can cause an instant rise of sexual energy inside you. All your attention will be drawn and your mind and body will get totally focused on her. For women, there are more than just ‘looks’, actually a combination of looks and personality in a man (where personality mostly matters more) that can instantly produce feelings of attraction. All this happens at subconscious levels below one’s conscious awareness. As I said, it’s never a choice. Not having a choice in this matter means something is going on beyond our conscious control. Something just isn’t logical. Something is happening, but it just doesn’t make sense.

Similarly, ending of a relationship do not mean that one can easily get over all the emotions in a go. It’s a complex mechanism of various feelings, deep rooted emotions and habits which are not in conscious control. Triune brain theory, propagated by Dr. Paul McLean states that our brains are divided into three different parts – the reptilian brain, the mammal brain and the thinking brain. The following is an excerpt from the book “Attraction isn’t a choice” by David DeAngelo. The brain has developed gradually, but through stages which the “Triune Brain” theory usefully separates into three distinct phases… each of which has been traced to a particular physical component of our brain. This theory also reveals the mechanisms by which the consciousness we usually think of as our whole mind is influenced by other parts of our mind which are hidden from our conscious. The earliest stage is the ‘reptile brain’. This part of the brain handles our physical activities, such as coordinating movement and directing responses to certain stimuli. Just like a lizard scampering away when it senses a threatening shadow, we automatically recoil from physical pain. This is the part of the brain that regulates all the unconscious physical processes continually at work in our bodies, such as heart beat, breathing, digestion, etc. The middle stage is the ‘mammal brain’. This part is responsible for our emotional responses. Our emotions are obvious to us, but you can also see them in Fido’s energetic tail-wagging when you come back from vacation. The emotional part of our brain is what associates good feelings to positive memories and bad feelings to negative ones. While the reptile brain pulls us away from negative stimuli and towards positive stimuli that are programmed instinctually, emotions give us the ability to develop quickly the appropriate response to new situations we encounter. Emotions are a way to carry pain and pleasure inside of us. Instead of relying solely on physical responses, we also use related emotional responses to guide our reactions. We avoid people who hurt us, feel disgusted by foods that make us sick, express gratitude for those who help us, and feel confident about things we can do successfully. The final stage of the brain is the thinking brain, which is where our consciousness and reasoning abilities are found. Extremely versatile, the thinking brain lets us evaluate in advance the desirability of an experience. We can learn to avoid electrocution by being warned about it or seeing someone else suffer this fate, and we can learn to hunt or cook from the explanation and examples shown by others. The reptile, physical brain is responsible for what we commonly think of as “body”. The mammal, emotional, brain we typically consider “heart”, and the thinking brain is what we’re really referring to by “mind”. Each level is just a more complex evolutionary reaction to dealing with stimuli. First we developed basic responses to current body sensations like hunger and touch, then we developed the more complex response to past sensations in emotions like happiness and sadness, and finally we developed the startling ability to respond to the possible future with thought. What’s important about this hierarchy is that each level is built on the “lower one”. The three brains, according to this theory, are actually built around each other in our heads.

Attraction and the so called ‘love’ happen beyond thinking level of human mind. It’s not logical. No amount of logical reasoning, coercion or ‘thinking out’ can root out the feelings of attraction. Attraction stimulates the reptilian and mammal parts of human brain, ones which ultimately control how we feel and behave. In order to break through the emotional instability, nervous breakdowns and imbalance in life caused due to a break up, you must reach over and heal yourself at a deeper level of your consciousness. We all ‘rationalize’ our mistakes. In fact, rational thinking is a habit that we have developed both consciously and unconsciously. It’s our ‘Thinking Brain’ in action. Understand this: ‘Rationalizing’ for your failure or setback (they are not same things) will not help you. You may have already experienced this. You need an effective strategy to take back control of your mind and your life. The failure in love life – like end of a relationship (whether suddenly or gradually), betrayal by the partner or anything that breaks the bond of ‘so called love’ creates emotions which are equivalent to ‘death’ of someone you love so dearly. The emotions of ‘missing’ that person in one or the other way and breaking out of the routine the mind is accustomed to (like talking at a particular time every day, for a particular length, expectation of meeting, mental pleasures of any kind or physical pleasure) are very akin to those one feels after the death of a loved one. See, all pain here is being caused by not meeting an expectation. It’s always about depending upon the other person for something (whatever it might be) and when mind has to change its habits after a setback in love life (like being alone again); it goes through an incredible pain. Understand this: change is always painful in short term but how it affects your life in long term is totally up to you. You may make it an excuse for failing again and again (and I hate to say that most people do just that) and develop a number of arguments for your newly-formed limitations or you take it as an opportunity for taking a conscious control of your life and make it just the way you want it to be. For most people, failure in love life is a complete turnaround. Most people on this earth are living in a trance – living their routine lives and inside their comfort zones. They are simply used to it, and once a mind is used to something, it’s really hard to break through it. This is also the reason why many people continue to live in their disastrous relationships, just because they have become comfortable with it.

These pains caused by unforeseen circumstances of life are the cause of all high achievements as they force an individual to break out of his (her) comfort zone and accomplish things which would otherwise not be achieved. If you have read my book, you know what I am talking about here. When I personally faced this setback a few years back, I had virtually no goals in my life. The failure turned everything around. After a few most difficult months of my life, fighting with my own emotions and sabotaging myself at each and every step, I realized that I really needed to take control. I understood that I needed to leave aside my old, not-so-useful habits and instead form new, powerful habits which will help me succeed. I also understood that I needed a strong distraction to stop my emotional swings and mental instability. And so I was literally forced to form compelling goals which have brought me where I am today, helping others take control of their lives. I also realized a fundamental truth: “Things have no meaning except what we choose to give them”. If I chose to saw my ex-partner as just one person out of the thousands (actually, millions) of women available out in the world, I could see this as a God’s desire to meet someone new. And this is exactly where my journey to success with women began. Your ego is the biggest obstacle in your path to realizing such fundamental truths. To get stuck on a particular thing, or a partner, in spite of logically knowing all the pitfalls included with it, is ego’s problem, not yours. And that’s because..... .....you are NOT your ego!

ATTRACTION VS OBSESSION Loneliness arrives from a feeling of desperation of not having that ONE person in your life, the way you want it. It’s a funny situation. If you love someone and want her in your life, no matter what it takes to do so, you are in a problem. Wanting something real bad in your life is not wrong. Your desires are your greatest motivators. But human mind can be deceived easily. Mind can falsely come to a conclusion that ‘he’ or ‘she’ is just the right person for you with all the qualities that you want. If you pay attention, you’ll realize that they are the qualities which YOU DON’T HAVE. Most people, especially the young ones (due to lack of life experience) can get really attracted to someone due to factors they are not aware of. We get attracted to people who seem to be successful, are desired by others and/or dress and behave in just the right way (This is called ‘Halo effect’. Google for this)

In a married relationship, the first few months are full of excitement and lot of attraction. But soon it wears off and things start getting dull. Attraction is a nature’s way to ensure replication and survival of the human race (Imagine if nobody got attracted to anyone and sex really wasn’t a good thing). Think about this. If you were to wear a new jacket or apply a new perfume, you would yourself be aware about it only for a short time. After that, your mind stops paying attention to it. You see, if your mind had to concentrate upon all sensory information ALL THE TIME without filtering it at all, you would go mad. With due respect, I am not against marriage. Marriage is a wonderful thing and can bless your life with happiness if you take time to learn what it takes to build a great relationship. However, if you are unable to have another person in your life for one or the other reason, this attraction, instead of going dull can lead to obsession. When something’s not normal or is uncommon, your mind pays extra attention towards it. All your focus is now there. In his awesome book ‘The Art of Seduction’, Robert Greene mentions how the greatest seducers who ever walked this earth understood the art of pulling back at just the right time in order to increase attraction and making other person obsessed to them. Let me tell you a secret – most women are naturally good at doing this. Men, most of the times, have to learn this with experience. Obsession is a strange feeling – like currents of both pleasure and pain running through you at rollercoaster speed. There are many people who have no idea how to deal with these top-notch, powerful strategies. (Most don’t even know that they exist at the first place). You need to learn what creates problem inside your head at the first place in order to deal with it. You need to implement security in your own mind. Here’s the formula that causes obsession:

Desire + Uncertainty = Obsession Let’s take an example. In this case, let’s say you are a man (if you are a woman, just read accordingly). You get attracted to a woman (or man, whatever) for some reason you can’t really explain. May be you get to talk to her or it’s just an extended eye contact. No matter what it is, you know at the end of it that she is probably interested in you at some level. You come back home thinking of the other person. Everything is so beautiful. The feelings in your body are giving you ultimate pleasure. And it’s all because of that other person you saw (or met).

Your mind loves it. You are bathing in the idea of having that other person in your possession. And the great thing is – she is interested in you as well. You gather up the courage to go talk to that person. And bingo! She likes you as well, or at least you have an idea that she does and you exchange numbers. You start talking and your attraction for her increases even more. May be you are falling in love. It’s like being in the fairyland. Everything is just so great with candies dangling from trees everywhere and a sweet music flowing in the atmosphere. But suddenly (to your horror!) you find the other person behaving in a strange manner, for example, not calling back at an expected time, cancelling a highly anticipated meeting, not returning a message or ending phone calls for apparently no reason. You try talking her into the problem. But she just won’t listen. May be, you think, she’s losing interest. Doubts start creeping into your mind. Does she like me anymore? Has she found someone better? Am I just not good enough? Your life seems to be devastated. You are now at the stage where you already desire her badly, but at the same time, uncertain. You are now stuck in a cycle – the more uncertain you become, the more you desire her and the more you desire her, the more she seems to lose interest. This kind of a situation engages a special part of your mind called Brocha’s region which is responsible for watching out for things which it considers as ‘abnormal’ or ‘uncommon’. When there is the magical combination of DESIRE (of wanting someone or something for any reason) and UNCERTAINTY (not being sure whether that person likes you in return), your mind goes into a state of continued attention towards that person. Basically, your entire focus is now on the other person. The Broca’s region of your mind is now fully engaged. All your thoughts go in that one direction and.... .......what you focus upon, expands! Have you ever felt wanted to just ‘hear the voice’? Thought it was love? Well, it may just be not. Your own emotions and mental behaviour is the cause of this particular state of your mind, if you are going through it right now. It’s NOT LOVE. LOVE cannot be defined this easily. Love is a divine experience and does not involve any kind of worries, tensions and negative emotions.

Just imagine, the whole universe operates on the principle of LOVE. That’s why everything is so perfect. All the planets move around in perfect synchronization and everything else is right at the place and appears and goes whenever it’s the time to do so. There is NO CONFLICT here. And wherever there is a conflict, it’s a clear indication that something’s isn’t right. I strongly believe that you are now beginning to understand the cause of all your wild emotions and mental swings that your mind is causing. Now the question is - how do you deal with this once you have been there? Good question. This is apparently why I wrote this report. In the modern language of seduction, an obsession with a particular person is commonly referred to as ‘one-itis’. It basically means you are using your mind to value a normal person too high on your scale of evaluation. (what scale? I’ll explain in a minute) and getting obsessed about it. This is a result of scarcity thinking which means that you don’t have any other options. Ever felt like “She (he) is unique. There cannot be anyone else like her.”? YES? May be you are right. But..... What is that exact thing that makes him / her unique? Can you pinpoint that particular thing? Or is it just a feeling.... If it’s just a feeling, you need to really think over this. What is it that makes you think that the other person is really unique. Let me help you out by sharing this story with you: “Excuse me,” said one ocean fish to another, “you are older and more experienced than I, and will probably be able to help me. Tell: where can I find this thing they call the ocean? I’ve been searching for it everywhere to no avail.” “The ocean,” said the older fish, “is what you swimming in now.” “Oh, this? But this is only water. What I’m searching for is the ocean, “ said the young fish, feeling quite disappointed.

Understand this: There is ABUNDANCE OF OPPORTUNITIES in this universe. There too much of an abundance of everything that you ever want. You can always find someone who’s better. Of course, you don’t have to spend a lifetime looking for the perfect person but you don’t need to settle for anyone who’s not adding to your life in a positive way or at worst, impacting your entire life negatively. Remember the golden rule: For every door that seems to be closing, there’s another which is opened. It might be his (or her) desirability in the eyes of others that makes you want that person even more. “There must be something special about him (her)” Wait a minute. There is something special about every one of us. You probably knew that. Ok, you may have genuine reasons to like that person and I am being a super jerk by not understanding your emotions. I really appreciate your genuine interest. Trust me, I really do. Now tell me, does that person you like/love also appreciates that? Are you seeing this person as a prize to be won? Does that make you realize that you need to start seeing yourself as a prize first in order to be attractive to others? Understand this: Attraction is not logical. It has nothing to do with logic. I know I am coming off a little too tough here, but please don’t start shoving your logical explanations to explain why you aren’t able to keep another person attracted. The reason is actually very simple and straight. (Please hold your heart tight) The person you want does not feel attracted to you (anymore). It’s painful to hear that, I know. But stay with me. Attraction is not a choice. Most of all, it doesn’t happen for logical reasons. The reasons are entirely something else. Explaining this to a person who has no idea about this is an incredible challenge. It’s like banging your head in the wall. If you are reading this right now, and think you don’t really understand it, I need YOUR help to make you understand it. The best way to deal with this problem is by learning the art of attraction. I did it myself. You will find additional tools to increase your knowledge and skills for dealing with the opposite sex in the resources section, in case you really want to expand your knowledge in this crucial area of your life. I highly recommend that you do this.

At this point, some of you may be saying right now, “...But if you really want something, you can have it. I really want that person?” I know that’s true. But you are missing another principle which ensures that you achieve your goal. And it is called.....

THE PRINCIPLE OF DETACHMENT Detachment is an unwritten fact of the universe. It’s the ultimate way of how things work. Detachment means to trust the universe to provide whatever we really need on our path to life. Desiring something is great. But don’t get attached to it. Don’t put your happiness and peace of mind on stake to achieve that one particular person or a thing. If you do this, you are violating the universal law of detachment by distrusting the universe, may be unconsciously. Have you ever seen a James Bond movie? If not, go watch one now. The indifferent attitude of the ultimate ladies man of all times reflects the following attitude, “I like you, but I don’t need you”. James Bond radiates a powerfully abundant attitude that makes him appear larger than life to women. He knows there are enough women to go around and that there’s no shortage. And if he wants something and doesn’t get it, he’s ready to say ‘Next’. You may not be James Bond but the principle of detachment is as universal for you as it is for anyone else. Desire what you want and then let go. Work in the direction of your ultimate desire but don’t get attached to its arrival. If you get it, it’s well and good. If you don’t, it was never right for you. And if you have been working towards getting it, something better will be brought to you by the universe. Remember this quote “If what you want is for the highest good of you and everyone else involved, it will be brought to you by the universe.” Detachment creates an unending happiness and peace of mind in your life. These are the things that you ultimate desire from your life. Think about it. In a relationship, if your partner is not willing to continue a relationship, let go. Don’t put logic and try to stop the other person. This ultimate behaviour accomplishes two things simultaneously: 1) It enables you to powerfully benefit from the law of detachment. There’s probably something better waiting for you whose door will now open.

2) This behaviour creates powerful attraction in your partner. You know what – you have to try and experience this to see its power. Just feel happy when you say “It’s ok, you can go” and have a genuine smile on your face when you say it. You can easily do this when you trust the laws of abundance and detachment. Abundant energy pulls others in. Even if your relationship fails to stay alive, keep on feeling radiant and abundant. Be detached. If the universe wants you to stay alone for a while, it’s for a reason. Accept it with happiness. Be grateful for it. Something better is on its way. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you’ll know when you do. There’s nothing more powerful than detachment. Detachment is only way out of any suffering. Bhagvad Gita explains: A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires---that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still ---can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires. Detachment doesn’t mean having no desires. It’s about desiring things but not determining your personal worth by achieving them in your life. If you continue to depend for your worth on external things, you’ll never achieve happiness and peace of mind in your life. Detachment is also useful in a long-term relationship like marriage. Detachment doesn’t mean being indifferent or non-caring. It means loving others unconditionally, despite of your differences with them. This includes your partner as well. Remember, letting go is as important as desiring something with your heart. Here’s another analogy that explains this principle.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD Here’s a question to you If you caught your child eating something that could kill him (her), and cried madly when you took it away from it, would you give it to your child back? For your child, you probably just became a dirty villainous person who just wants his (her) own way. It’s possible that your child might hate you for this. Even then, would you give that thing back to your child? Probably not, you know it’s going to kill it.

I believe that if something unexpected (and unfortunate) happens in your life, there’s a supreme power which doesn’t want us to go on with our childish decisions we took in our past. Even if you cry and throw a tantrum, it still wants your good. Think about this statement again - “Things have no meaning except what we choose to give to them”.

YOU PROBABLY NEED TO CHOOSE AGAIN It’s time when you identify your real desires and lay them down carefully. This is important so that you now only attract just the right person in your life. Doing the following exercise will help your subconscious know exactly what it is supposed to look for. You will become a chooser. By knowing what you want, your mind will automatically reject the wrong choices and choose only the right ones. So, what kind of a person you want in your life? Here we go: 1) Take a blank and a pen/pencil and begin to list down the qualities you desire in your partner. Spend a few minutes doing this. Just relax and list down everything you desire. There are no limits here. 2) Now take another sheet of paper and write down the names of all those over whom you have had incredible attraction or crush in your life. If you don’t remember names, just write down a small description that helps you remember. I am talking about real, deep attraction/crush/love, not the everyday routine type encounters. 3) Now, in front of every name you have written above, write down what exactly attracted you to them in the first place. List all personality and physical traits that attracted you. Be open about your desires. Nobody’s watching you. 4) Note down the most common qualities out of the entire list you created above (2nd & 3rd points). For example, I like women who have a soft, low base voice and a particular height and so on. I also only like those women who believe in God, have high self confidence and are positive thinkers. Some particular traits are common in all women I have ever been attracted to. Pay attention to those traits which are common for you.

5) For each common physical and personality trait you’ve written down, rate its importance for you on a scale of 1-10. Here 1 means it’s not at all important for you and 10 means you will never compromise on this particular trait. For example, on my trait chart, I have assigned 9 to ‘Positive Thinking’. I would rarely compromise on this. I have assigned 10 to ‘Believing in God’. This is because either you believe in God or you don’t. There aren’t any middle grounds. Not that I don’t respect women who don’t believe in God, it’s just that they aren’t compatible with me. THERE YOU GO...You now have the list of those traits/qualities you’d like to have in your partner. This is what you are really looking for. Forget about those listed in your list. If they couldn’t be a part of your life, they weren’t mean to. Now when you have done this exercise, your subconscious will now automatically take care of everything else. You will find yourself drawn to new places and will start having new encounters that takes you closer to the kind of person you want in your life. Also, you’ll find yourself developing yourself to be ready when that person arrives in your life. Keep coming back to your list on a daily basis and visualize yourself already having met your ideal partner. You’ll be glad you did.

PITFALLS TO AVOID In the moments of a setback, say a failure in business or love life, your mind will naturally run towards any temporary pleasure it can get. We human beings naturally run away from pain and towards pleasure. The problem arises when in seeking these little pleasures you destroy your mental and emotional faculties which could be used for achieving success in your life.

PORNOGRAPHY No discussion of human development can possibly be complete without talking about the wicked topic of ‘pornography’. The addiction to pornography is no different than the addiction to alcohol or drugs (or any other form of temporary pleasure). They all are good enough to devastate one’s physical and mental being. Why am I discussing this here?

I’ve personally observed and talked to more than 500 people who try to seek temporary pleasures through one of the above vices to forget their problems for a while. Human mind by nature seeks pleasure and will go for immediate pleasure even when the results are devastating in the long term. This is the habit of instant gratification in action. Pornography is the easiest form of temporary pleasure available in today’s world. Internet is so full of it. Nonetheless, it’s highly dangerous. I personally call it as a ‘dream killer’. Pornography is like a punishment for your mind and body. When involved in pornography, a human’s mind and body has to go through a super concentrated state of being where the brain works extremely hard to create fantasies and give one the illusion of having sex, and the body goes through a false pretence of going through sex and ultimately sexual release. Just imagine the energy and effort one’s mind and body has to go through doing the above. It is extremely tiring for it. And the irony is that the more one indulges into pornography, the more he (she) desires it more (like any other vice). It therefore kills all energy that the mind might have put into achieving goals in life. The same goes for erotic and pornographic literature. The person who involves into pornography in any form has no idea how badly it is weakening his (her) willpower and capability to deal with the real problems and challenges of life, and is taking one away from one’s deepest dreams of life. One more reason for all the above negative results is that pornography depletes the most precious element of one’s life – ‘sexual energy’. Sexual energy is the erotic energy of your being. It is the nature’s way to ensure survival of life on this earth. Like nuclear energy, it has to be properly channelled in order to make sure that it doesn’t go wild and bring destructive results. When wasted or distorted, sexual energy can destroy one’s entire personality and put to a halt any possible chances of success in life. Note: In my book, ‘The Tao of Confidence’, I have devoted an entire chapter to the discussion of this most important factor of one’s life. Click here to get this lifechanging book. Download it FREE from here. A setback in life can cause one to go into a state of depression. Depression destroys one’s sexual energy and hence causes one to emit a negative energy which naturally repels others. If you have spent time with a person in depression, and felt heavy and sad afterwards and couldn’t tell why, you know what I am talking about. Note: Notice the emphasis on the word ‘state’ in the above paragraph. A ‘state’ can be defined as a sum of millions of neurological process going on in the human brain

and is caused by specific use of physiology and internal representations (the images you create in your mind, what you say to yourself etc.). Depression is nothing but a state of mind too and is always a choice. OK - enough theory! Now let me now give you a step by step system to break through this. Remember, you can use this system to successfully encounter any negative situation in your life which has been caused by some other person. In this report, we’ll focus on getting over a break up. As I always keep saying (and sometimes SHOUTING) – DON’T SKIP ANY STEP. And don’t take any step for granted believing that it will not work. It has taken me time and energy to develop this system and its usefulness lies when followed in the correct order. STEP I – I’m responsible. The first step is about taking control. It’s about reclaiming your ability to consciously stay in control. Your subconscious mind needs to know what is to be done in a new way or it will continue with its old behaviour. You let it know by using your conscious mind which is the ultimate decision maker. You can make the decision to accept all responsibility for what has happened in your life so far. By doing so, you declare to your mind an invincible truth – ‘I am the ultimate controller of my life. I decide what happens in my mind’. Firstly, start focusing on the things where you were responsible at the first place for your break up. May be you were a little too careless to bother when people were flirting out with your partner. Or you may have accepted low class behaviour from your partner in any form and never called her (him) on it. Whatever, just focus on where you might be responsible for the situation in your life. From now onwards, make it a point to recite the mantra “I’m responsible” for everything going on in your life. At first, it is going to be very awkward. You may feel a lot of resistance coming from inside. Let your mind know that you want it by not giving up in the face of resistance. ‘I’m responsible’ is the mantra of super success. After all, if everything happened in your past has been your responsibility; you are also in control of what will happen in your future. Just imagine the power it has to influence your life.

STEP II – Realize this as an opportunity to get in touch with the hidden, powerful you. You are now going to take complete control of your life – consciously. Make a 90 day commitment to take your life’s control back and actually, attain mental and emotional mastery. You’ve got to do that. Human mind has to rely upon something. It has to keep doing something. There is simply no place in your mind for a vacuum. If you want to get rid of your past memories, emotions and feelings, you have to REPLACE THEM. You are going to replace your negative emotions and feelings with new, positive and powerful mindsets, attitudes, Emotions, behaviours and actions. In a period of pain, human mind is ready to make any amount of effort to achieve pleasure. You can use this principle of mind to develop new and useful habits which serve you and your life goals. There’s no better opportunity to delve in the hidden, powerful you than this one. With experience, I know that it requires a great effort to get out of this problem and as a positive side effect; one’s whole personality is renewed for good.

STEP III- Learn to forgive and have compassion– for yourself and the other person. Step into the shoes of the other person. This is called ‘empathy’. In fact, you can do this for anyone who has done any wrong to you. Just take some time to see the situation from the eyes of the other person. What would you have done if you were raised the same way as your partner and had the same beliefs, pains, fears, mindsets, attitudes and temperament? What would you have done in that particular situation? Stepping into the mind and body of someone else and looking at the world by his (her) eyes takes some real effort – but it’s worth all the time and energy you spend doing this. You will feel something very powerful after you’ve done this. Upon doing this exercise you will begin to feel an emotion you’ve never felt before. You will feel compassion for the person you have felt negative about before. Compassion is the key to ‘love’. Understand this: Whatever it is you feel for someone else, it’s always directed inward towards yourself. By spreading love, you start loving yourself which in turn, raises your self-esteem and self-image.

STEP IV – Accept yourself as you are “I am enough”. “I accept myself as I am” Self acceptance is an art. It’s about being happy and comfortable with who you are at ‘this’ particular moment of your life. Self acceptance opens the doors to hidden emotions and helps you create an unstoppable momentum in your life. You can become extremely self confident and create a high self image once you begin to accept yourself for who you really are. Human beings are extremely complex creatures. We are multi-dimensional and more powerful than we can ever imagine. Our complexity can be imagined from the fact that there are multiple layers of our personalities which we need to accept to ourselves. There are various parts of our personality that we do not accept. Our minds have evolved over a period of thousands of years to become what they are today. The power of the mind has only been recognized in its basic form. Love yourself – “I love myself. I love everything about me. A setback like this in life can hurt one’s self-esteem and self confidence and can literally put one’s life on hold. The worst it can do is make one begin rejecting parts of personality which cause self-denial and lack of self respect. Self acceptance is a beautiful art and it all begins with a simple statement, “I am enough. I accept myself as I am.” A detailed explanation on this topic is given in my book ‘The Tao of Confidence’.

STEP V – Take control of your MIND and BODY Pains that we go through in our lives have a complex way to make their place in our mind and body. They exist in the form of pain bodies which continue to live inside us until they are consciously dissolved. This pain is REAL. It really exists. I bet you know at least one person who complains about a continuous physical pain somewhere in the body in spite of going through all the treatments for it. They are pain bodies whose cause exist somewhere else. Any negative setback in life can cause one to go through painful emotions which one’s mind and body becomes accustomed to. These pain bodies then continue to recreate those experiences and situations in your life which correspond to their nature.

A person who has been once through a misfortune and does not consciously take control of his (her) life will find that misfortune continues to come again and again. The good news is that you can consciously reverse this process and begin to attract good luck at continuous basis. So how do you do it? You do this by first learning to ‘Relaaaaaaax’ your mind and your body. During the process of relaxation, your mind and body are unified while your mind begins to work at lower frequencies. The ideal phase of relaxation is deep alpha or high theta stage of mind where your thought energy is extremely powerful and your body’s healing capabilities literally skyrocket. If you do not understand the above stuff, don’t bother. Just know that you need to relax and that you need to relax in the right way. The benefits of relaxing to alpha level are way too many to list here and some of them are – Increased awareness, a sustained feeling of peace and happiness, freedom from excessive thought (mind noise) and attracting good luck for no apparent reason. Although you don’t need to know ‘how’ it happens, at least no more than you need to know the ‘how’s’ of electricity to use it – you can learn more about this in my book. Click here and sign up here to download a free relaxation mp3 which you can use to go into deep relaxation levels and begin reaping the above benefits.

STEP VI – Spend time with ‘Success’ Out of my personal experience and years of working with people who have been through a setback in love life, I have come to realize a staggering fact that it completely messes one’s self esteem in this particular area of life. It becomes an absolute must to take a conscious control of this ‘particular area’ of your life. The first and the MOST IMPORTANT STEP is that you immediately STOP associating with people who share your pains. Instead, begin NOW to associate with people who are successful in this area of their lives. Make friends with them. You become what you think about. And what you think about largely depends on the people you associate with most of the time. Spend time with successful people, not the ones who are failures or you will continue to live in negative emotions forever. DO NOT avoid this step at any cost.

I know I am literally shouting at you right now. But it’s so important that I can’t help it. Understand this: There’s no place for vacuum in your mind. If you hold negative beliefs and attitudes about the opposite sex in your mind, they can only be replaced, not discarded and emptied. Even if you prefer being alone and spend time with nature, your negative thoughts which reside at deep levels of your mind in form of beliefs and mindsets will not leave you alone. Replace them with positive ones instead. Yes, it takes effort but it’s worth every ounce of your time, energy and other resources you put into it. In addition to associating with successful people, start reading and listening to material that shouts ‘SUCCESS’. Fill all your senses with ‘success’. I want you to see ‘success’, read ‘success’, hear ‘success’ and literally plunge into everything that even smells of ‘success’. If you want to taste success, you’ve got to do that. If you have read so far (and I had saved this to write it at last), I can safely assume that you are someone who wouldn’t settle for anything less in your life than your deepest dreams. I invite you to begin your education in this field by first setting your inner game right – that is to attain mental and emotional mastery and building an unshakeable, unstoppable and virtually unlimited self confidence inside you. In my book, I take you in a ‘hold your finger until you are on your own’ manner towards building an unshakeable self confidence inside you and attain mental and emotional mastery. You can be reading it in just a few minutes from now, and actually, try it out for FREE. Click here to read more about it. The second step here is to begin learning about sexual dynamics and the dynamics of attraction. There is no better time to start learning about success with opposite sex than this. Your education in this field is as necessary as water for a man wandering in the desert. And where do you begin? Good question. If you are a man, start here And if you are a woman, start here.

Thank you so much for reading this. Really, I am so proud of you. Not many people are actually so passionate for taking back control of their lives. Not only you have done something about this, you have set yourself apart from the common herd by reading this report to its end. If you have any questions or any queries, please know that I am only an email away. Mail me at [email protected] and I’d love to answer you personally. I wish you all the success that you ever dream in your life!

Many Blessings, Your Friend, Aery Prabhakar