Cows And Capitalism

2-C ows…. and

Capitalism

Traditional Capitalism  You

have 2 Cows  You sell one and buy a bull  Your heard multiplies, & the economy grows  You sell them and retire on the income

French Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows

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You go on strike because you want 3 Cows

British Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows

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Both are Mad!

American Capitalism  

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You have 2-Cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for 5-Cows. The milk rights of the 6-Cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7-Cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8-Cows, with an option on 1 more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9-Cows. No balance sheet available for release The public buys your Bull.

Japanese Capitalism You have 2-Cows  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  You then create clever cow cartoon images called CowkiMon and market them worldwide. 

Australian Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows

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You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4-Cows

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You are confused when the cow drops dead.

German Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows

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You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

Canadian Capitalism You have 2-Cows  One speaks French, one speaks English.  One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it.  They both play ice hockey & life goeson. 

Italian Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows, but you don't know where they are.

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You break for lunch.

Swiss Capitalism 

You have 5000-Cows, none of which belong to you.

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You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

Chinese Capitalism 

You have 2-Cows

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You have 300 people milking them

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You claim full employment, high bovine productivity

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You arrest & detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

Russian Capitalism   

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You have 2-Cows You count them & learn you have 5-Cows You count them again and learn you have 42Cows You count them again and learn you have 12Cows You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Lebanese Capitalism You have no cows  The Syrians have one cow  You convince them to sell the cow to the Kuwaitis with a 50% profit  The Syrians are satisfied with the 50% they made  The Kuwaitis are happy because you arranged a good deal for them  Your commission is worth TEN cows 

Saudi Capitalism You buy 1000-Cows  There is no grass, just sand  You buy European grass for them  You hire one foreigner to milk them and 100 Saudis to watch him  The milk cost you 500% more  You call it "WATANI" and sell it in the local market 

Egyptian Capitalism 

You have One-Cow

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You keep telling people you have Ten