Course
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COURSE INTRODUCTION 1
WELCOME • Facilitators: • Elaine Luff; • Martin Luff
• Supported by Morpeth Baptist Church
2
AIMS OF THE COURSE • Our aim is for parents to be: • Encouraged; • Envisioned; • Equipped; • Enabled; • Enthused. • To give parents space to think – or rethink – about family life; • To provide a base from which to build a positive family experience. 3
OUTLINE OF THE COURSE • Eight week course: • A Vision For The Family; • Building Relationships; • Love, Marriage And Communication; • Family Influences; • Guiding And Shaping; • Taking Corrective Action; • Keeping the Vision in Mind. • A social reunion – some time after! • Opportunity to discuss issues and answer questions…. 4
ADMINISTRATION • • • •
Handbooks; Refreshments; Child Sitting Ministry; Recording of Sessions: • Available on CD; • mbcfamily.posterous.com • Book of the Course: • Lifestyle Bookshop – Morpeth.
5
2 minutes Introduce Yourself
6
TOP TIPS
7
Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 8
What has Happened to Parenting?
9
WHAT HAVE WE DONE? • What have we let ourselves in for? • Own unique definition of family; • One size does not fit all…… • Family life can be fun and exciting!!
10
Have a Vision and
Work towards it!
11
THE PARENTING JOURNEY
12
THE PARENTING JOURNEY • Have a destination in mind!! • “We’ll do it differently – we won’t make the same mistakes” • Develop a vision for your family; • Shaping or survival?
13
THEMES • • • •
Family Values; The Heart; A Firm Foundation; Our Own Example.
14
FAMILY VALUES • DNA • Never too late to start again! • Your family values will ‘mold’ your children’s values
15
FAMILY VALUES
Love
Kindness
Gentleness
Laughter
Respect Dignity
Forgiveness Humility 16
ATMOSPHERE KEEPERS
17
What is the DNA of my
Family NOW? What is my Vision or
Dream of family life! 18
Don’t be Afraid to
Dream Dreams for Your family!
19
STYLES OF PARENTING • • • • •
Authoritarian; Permissive; Bribery; Emotional blackmail; Punishment driven.
20
GOAL OF PARENTING • All different styles are effective in the short term, but….. • They will not bring long-term results!! • Parenting is about building relationships… • ….and passing on values and understanding; • This takes time – not overnight!!!
21
BAMBOO TREE
22
THE HEART • Reach their hearts! • Don’t just focus on outward behaviour • Start inside and work out! • “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life” Proverbs 4:23
23
ROBOT CHILDREN? • It’s from our hearts that we are motivated to do things; • Reach children’s hearts with healthy values – then they will be worked out in their lives!!
24
A FIRM FOUNDATION • Lots of advice available! • Drawn from many sources…. • ….but this course is founded on Christian principles; • We will sometimes refer to the Bible; • Many parenting courses have in them principles that are found in the Bible; • “There’s nothing new under the sun” • Some things will challenge you! • Be open minded and enjoy the discussion 25
WHY THE BIBLE? • Children are a gift from God; • We need to build structures in them that will prepare them for life; • The Bible gives an accepted value system that refers to a way of life; • Doesn’t tell us every detail – but provides a good foundation; • Can be used as a guide to help our parenting; • Bible calls itself a “plumb-line” – a reference point from which to make decisions; • Specific guidelines and general principles.
26
OUR EXAMPLE • “Children may not be very good at listening to their elders, but they nearly always seem to find ways of imitating them”
27
OUR EXAMPLE • Our influence is important! • We reproduce who we are not what we say; • “It is unreasonable to expect a child to listen to your advice and ignore your example”
28
SUMMARY • It all comes back to the heart!!! • “When we reach the heart of a child we reach the whole child”
29
DISCUSSION • What was the most important thing for you in this evenings talk? • What are your dreams for your family? Do you have a picture of how you would like it to be in an ideal world? • Are you attracted by the idea of focussing on our children’s hearts rather than their behaviour? • In what way do you think your example influences your children behaviour?
30
TAKING IT FURTHER • Book some time to reflect: • Sit quietly; • Have a cup of coffee; • Discuss with your partner – or friend; • Page 11 of the Handbook; • Feel free to bring observations back next week.
31
Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 32
WELCOME • Facilitators: • Elaine Luff; • Martin Luff
• Supported by Morpeth Baptist Church
2
AIMS OF THE COURSE • Our aim is for parents to be: • Encouraged; • Envisioned; • Equipped; • Enabled; • Enthused. • To give parents space to think – or rethink – about family life; • To provide a base from which to build a positive family experience. 3
OUTLINE OF THE COURSE • Eight week course: • A Vision For The Family; • Building Relationships; • Love, Marriage And Communication; • Family Influences; • Guiding And Shaping; • Taking Corrective Action; • Keeping the Vision in Mind. • A social reunion – some time after! • Opportunity to discuss issues and answer questions…. 4
ADMINISTRATION • • • •
Handbooks; Refreshments; Child Sitting Ministry; Recording of Sessions: • Available on CD; • mbcfamily.posterous.com • Book of the Course: • Lifestyle Bookshop – Morpeth.
5
2 minutes Introduce Yourself
6
TOP TIPS
7
Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 8
What has Happened to Parenting?
9
WHAT HAVE WE DONE? • What have we let ourselves in for? • Own unique definition of family; • One size does not fit all…… • Family life can be fun and exciting!!
10
Have a Vision and
Work towards it!
11
THE PARENTING JOURNEY
12
THE PARENTING JOURNEY • Have a destination in mind!! • “We’ll do it differently – we won’t make the same mistakes” • Develop a vision for your family; • Shaping or survival?
13
THEMES • • • •
Family Values; The Heart; A Firm Foundation; Our Own Example.
14
FAMILY VALUES • DNA • Never too late to start again! • Your family values will ‘mold’ your children’s values
15
FAMILY VALUES
Love
Kindness
Gentleness
Laughter
Respect Dignity
Forgiveness Humility 16
ATMOSPHERE KEEPERS
17
What is the DNA of my
Family NOW? What is my Vision or
Dream of family life! 18
Don’t be Afraid to
Dream Dreams for Your family!
19
STYLES OF PARENTING • • • • •
Authoritarian; Permissive; Bribery; Emotional blackmail; Punishment driven.
20
GOAL OF PARENTING • All different styles are effective in the short term, but….. • They will not bring long-term results!! • Parenting is about building relationships… • ….and passing on values and understanding; • This takes time – not overnight!!!
21
BAMBOO TREE
22
THE HEART • Reach their hearts! • Don’t just focus on outward behaviour • Start inside and work out! • “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life” Proverbs 4:23
23
ROBOT CHILDREN? • It’s from our hearts that we are motivated to do things; • Reach children’s hearts with healthy values – then they will be worked out in their lives!!
24
A FIRM FOUNDATION • Lots of advice available! • Drawn from many sources…. • ….but this course is founded on Christian principles; • We will sometimes refer to the Bible; • Many parenting courses have in them principles that are found in the Bible; • “There’s nothing new under the sun” • Some things will challenge you! • Be open minded and enjoy the discussion 25
WHY THE BIBLE? • Children are a gift from God; • We need to build structures in them that will prepare them for life; • The Bible gives an accepted value system that refers to a way of life; • Doesn’t tell us every detail – but provides a good foundation; • Can be used as a guide to help our parenting; • Bible calls itself a “plumb-line” – a reference point from which to make decisions; • Specific guidelines and general principles.
26
OUR EXAMPLE • “Children may not be very good at listening to their elders, but they nearly always seem to find ways of imitating them”
27
OUR EXAMPLE • Our influence is important! • We reproduce who we are not what we say; • “It is unreasonable to expect a child to listen to your advice and ignore your example”
28
SUMMARY • It all comes back to the heart!!! • “When we reach the heart of a child we reach the whole child”
29
DISCUSSION • What was the most important thing for you in this evenings talk? • What are your dreams for your family? Do you have a picture of how you would like it to be in an ideal world? • Are you attracted by the idea of focussing on our children’s hearts rather than their behaviour? • In what way do you think your example influences your children behaviour?
30
TAKING IT FURTHER • Book some time to reflect: • Sit quietly; • Have a cup of coffee; • Discuss with your partner – or friend; • Page 11 of the Handbook; • Feel free to bring observations back next week.
31
Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 32
