COURSE INTRODUCTION 1
WELCOME • Facilitators: • Elaine Luff; • Martin Luff
• Supported by Morpeth Baptist Church
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AIMS OF THE COURSE • Our aim is for parents to be: • Encouraged; • Envisioned; • Equipped; • Enabled; • Enthused. • To give parents space to think – or rethink – about family life; • To provide a base from which to build a positive family experience. 3
OUTLINE OF THE COURSE • Eight week course: • A Vision For The Family; • Building Relationships; • Love, Marriage And Communication; • Family Influences; • Guiding And Shaping; • Taking Corrective Action; • Keeping the Vision in Mind. • A social reunion – some time after! • Opportunity to discuss issues and answer questions…. 4
ADMINISTRATION • • • •
Handbooks; Refreshments; Child Sitting Ministry; Recording of Sessions: • Available on CD; • mbcfamily.posterous.com • Book of the Course: • Lifestyle Bookshop – Morpeth.
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2 minutes Introduce Yourself
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TOP TIPS
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Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 8
What has Happened to Parenting?
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WHAT HAVE WE DONE? • What have we let ourselves in for? • Own unique definition of family; • One size does not fit all…… • Family life can be fun and exciting!!
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Have a Vision and
Work towards it!
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THE PARENTING JOURNEY
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THE PARENTING JOURNEY • Have a destination in mind!! • “We’ll do it differently – we won’t make the same mistakes” • Develop a vision for your family; • Shaping or survival?
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THEMES • • • •
Family Values; The Heart; A Firm Foundation; Our Own Example.
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FAMILY VALUES • DNA • Never too late to start again! • Your family values will ‘mold’ your children’s values
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FAMILY VALUES
Love
Kindness
Gentleness
Laughter
Respect Dignity
Forgiveness Humility 16
ATMOSPHERE KEEPERS
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What is the DNA of my
Family NOW? What is my Vision or
Dream of family life! 18
Don’t be Afraid to
Dream Dreams for Your family!
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STYLES OF PARENTING • • • • •
Authoritarian; Permissive; Bribery; Emotional blackmail; Punishment driven.
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GOAL OF PARENTING • All different styles are effective in the short term, but….. • They will not bring long-term results!! • Parenting is about building relationships… • ….and passing on values and understanding; • This takes time – not overnight!!!
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BAMBOO TREE
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THE HEART • Reach their hearts! • Don’t just focus on outward behaviour • Start inside and work out! • “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life” Proverbs 4:23
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ROBOT CHILDREN? • It’s from our hearts that we are motivated to do things; • Reach children’s hearts with healthy values – then they will be worked out in their lives!!
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A FIRM FOUNDATION • Lots of advice available! • Drawn from many sources…. • ….but this course is founded on Christian principles; • We will sometimes refer to the Bible; • Many parenting courses have in them principles that are found in the Bible; • “There’s nothing new under the sun” • Some things will challenge you! • Be open minded and enjoy the discussion 25
WHY THE BIBLE? • Children are a gift from God; • We need to build structures in them that will prepare them for life; • The Bible gives an accepted value system that refers to a way of life; • Doesn’t tell us every detail – but provides a good foundation; • Can be used as a guide to help our parenting; • Bible calls itself a “plumb-line” – a reference point from which to make decisions; • Specific guidelines and general principles.
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OUR EXAMPLE • “Children may not be very good at listening to their elders, but they nearly always seem to find ways of imitating them”
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OUR EXAMPLE • Our influence is important! • We reproduce who we are not what we say; • “It is unreasonable to expect a child to listen to your advice and ignore your example”
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SUMMARY • It all comes back to the heart!!! • “When we reach the heart of a child we reach the whole child”
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DISCUSSION • What was the most important thing for you in this evenings talk? • What are your dreams for your family? Do you have a picture of how you would like it to be in an ideal world? • Are you attracted by the idea of focussing on our children’s hearts rather than their behaviour? • In what way do you think your example influences your children behaviour?
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TAKING IT FURTHER • Book some time to reflect: • Sit quietly; • Have a cup of coffee; • Discuss with your partner – or friend; • Page 11 of the Handbook; • Feel free to bring observations back next week.
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Week 1 A VISION FOR THE FAMILY 32