Core Dump (english Version)

Joannes Richter

Core Dump

- dedicated to Stefan, Walter & Pierre -

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Joannes Richter

Core Dump - an experimental novel -

-2009-

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© 2009 by Joannes Richter published by LULU All rights reserved ISBN: 978-1-4452-3660-5

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Inhoud 1 Core Dumps...........................................................................7 2 Herpes Zoster.........................................................................9 Looking back into the past............................................10 The boarding school .....................................................12 Elementary school ........................................................18 The kindergarten............................................................18 3 Uncle Walt............................................................................21 1968...............................................................................21 1971...............................................................................23 1972...............................................................................24 1981...............................................................................25 1984...............................................................................30 1995...............................................................................30 2000...............................................................................31 2001...............................................................................32 4 A library as a legacy.............................................................35 Autumn 2001.................................................................35 5 Just half a dozen of books....................................................37 De Rerum Novarum......................................................37 Terra Promissa ..............................................................41 A study of philosophy....................................................44 The Sohar......................................................................45 East of Eden..................................................................49 Plato's Symposium........................................................51 A history of God............................................................51 The Bible.......................................................................53 6 Summary of Walt's investigations.......................................55 Documentation..............................................................55 Walt's course of life......................................................55 Epilogue........................................................................58 7 Summary..............................................................................59 5

Keywords......................................................................60

Figuren Fig. 1: Hermes of Roquepertuse..............................................28 Fig. 2: "...feeling the pounding blows on my brains..."...........33 Fig. 3: Rerum Novarum including Walt's notes.......................38 Fig. 4: The Arabian word "God"..............................................52

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1 Core Dumps In how far are we allowed to consider religion useful respectively harmful? In order to analyse this question the author initiates a core dump to two individual memories... Computer specialists may discern an unexpected core dump as a textual copy of the memory's contents, which will automatically be generated at unexpected internal errors. In contrast we are using the idea of a planned and controlled core dump at a certain previously defined breakpoint. As a state of the art the standard human brain has not been designed to generate a core dump unless we use special tools like a diary or a defined set of documents. The human brain however may also be enabled to generate an online alternative, memory dump by meditation at an intact brain. Recently these experiments have been carried out successfully, but unfortunately the applied conditions will only allow a singular experience for a lifetime, which does not allow me to repeat my earliest feelings. This experimental novel presents a virtual combination of a meditative core dump and a set of notes from a large personal library. The protagonist reports a continuous flow of memories being generated at a subconscious sleep level to be completed by a summary at the end. All personal data in this novel have been neutralized and depersonalized. Any reference to living persons or activities is purely unintended and accidental.

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2 Herpes Zoster Today of all days, at the ultimate German holiday, the 3th of October 2009 an irritating infection infiltrates my skin, causing tiny, slightly itching pimples at the right side of my back down to the right sided groin. The early morning starts with an intensive headache and a slight fever at 38°C. Having planned a trip to attend to a congress at a small village in a remote area I decide to check my doctor before starting my trip. The physician observes the rash and diagnoses the infection as a mild form of shingles, which at my age of 62 years seems to develop quite normally. Whenever anyone has been hit by chickenpox as a child, he explains, the Varicella zoster virus will not completely disappear. The germs will remain settled somewhere at the spinal nerves and may be reactivated at any time in your later life. Perhaps years or decades after a chickenpox infection, the virus may break out of the nerve cell bodies and travel down nerve axons to cause viral infection of the skin in the region of the nerve. The virus may spread from one or more ganglia along nerves of an affected segment and infect the corresponding dermatome1 causing a painful rash. Although the rash usually heals within two to four weeks, some sufferers experience residual nerve pain for months or years, a condition called postherpetic neuralgia. Exactly how the virus remains latent in the body, and subsequently re-activates is not understood. The earliest symptoms of shingles, which include headache, fever, and malaise, are nonspecific, and may result in an incorrect diagnosis. 1

an area of skin supplied by one spinal nerve

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These symptoms are commonly followed by sensations of burning pain, itching, hyperesthesia (oversensitivity), or paresthesia ("pins and needles": tingling, pricking, or numbness). The pain may be mild to extreme in the affected dermatome, with sensations that are often described as stinging, tingling, aching, numbing or throbbing, and can be interspersed with quick stabs of agonizing pain. The doctor is rather confident my shingles will develop quite mildly and disappear within two weeks. Unless any complications occur, I may attend my congress. In case the itching pains should become unbearable he advises to apply a zinc based salve. Feeling reassured by my doctor's diagnosis I start my trip to Roth am See at the southern German Hohenlohe-plains. The small town is located at a distance of merely 50 kilometers, but leading me into a remote hilly countryside the long and winding roads are slowing down my pace. The trip is leading me through wonderful Hohenlohe-alleys with beautiful trees in fascinating colors reminding me of an North-American Indian Summer. Passing numerous small towns with ancient old farmhouses and miniature churches I am arriving just in time at the boarding house, where the meeting has been arranged in modernized, old farming location.

Looking back into the past After a long day filled with conferences, a dinner at noon and a supper the evening offers entertainment and social contacts, enabling me to make acquaintance of a most interesting old man, who had been working with jet engines in World War II.

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Unfortunately the 89-year old chap had not been supplied with ear protecting devices while working at the factories and turns out to be rather hard hearing in spite of a sophisticated hearing aid. The conversation has to be raised to a high sound level and the loud voices of the conversations reflecting into my ears intensify my brain's activity while deafening my senses. At the end of the evening I walk back to my sleeping room with an isolated, but energized brain. As usual I lay myself down in my bed at ten thirty and stare into the dark patiently waiting for comrade slumber. Instead of feeling sleepy I notice a seldom nervous tension at the right side of my body from the vertex to my feet. The headache seems to have disappeared in the evening, but every once in a while I feel a short needle's itch at my back, which may quickly be removed by a short massage. Although my body's temperature must have raised for a degree my nerves are now at a high tension. I clearly feel the overall hyperesthesia at my right-sided limbs and paresthesia at my waist. The right-sided brain lobes seem to have swollen to a doubled size. Right now I sense the complete nervous network up to the remotest extremities. The brain's centre has been alarmed at the utmost concentration. Despite of my doctor's diagnosis I feel somewhat threatened by this physical asymmetry, suspending my sleep. In this situation halfway between waking and dreaming I feel reminded of my early memories knocking at my door of consciousness. Reminding my memories is rather uncommon for me. Maybe the stress hormones are depriving me of my slumber. I close my eyes and release my thought streams to an ad lib direction.

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Most ancient memory areas behave like chaotic attics. Events seem to be sorted according to the locations, where the event may have taken place. Whenever I direct my attention to a given location the brain will reproduce all events referring to this location.

The boarding school The easiest entry to the past is the door to puberty, in which the soul will preferably be traumatized. To my surprise however my brains are now behaving in a quite different way. At the centre of my inner eye the system offers me a strangely sharp, but slightly tremblant image, providing me with an overwhelming number of details greatly exceeding the normal memories provided at a usual reminding phase. At a startling accuracy I enter the longtime ago stored projection of a wardrobe besides the school's main courtyard and immediately smell the great number of damp winter coats in a cold unheated hall. Looking out of the windows I clearly observe the classroom's windows covered with chicken-wire to protect the glass against misguided footballs. It is strange to visit these non-existing buildings as the old school already has been torn down in 1967. Right now my thought-dreams are guiding me through a non existing world... In a strange way I may observe my body's growing phases at several stages. In a fence at the border of a small courtyard the rods have been placed at fixed intervals, which may be passed by sliding through at an age of twelve, but are blocking my head at 14 or 15 and forcing me to return and climb the fence.

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The thrilling tour leads me over an old-fashioned pattern of tiles. At the beginning the colors are weak as if the memory haughty refuses to reproduce its treasuries. Although the brains now display extremely sharp and detailed pictures the colors are still varying like an old American TV-set between black & red and black & yellow, but I am unsure whether these color combinations are true or optical deceptions. Another sense seems to be violently sharpened in my memories: my olfaction clearly activates the musty smell of prolonged worn clothes stored in the whine-red wooden boxes. It is a strange feeling to sense these overreacting nerves, which may have been sharpened by the stress hormones activated by the fever as a reaction of the infected body. From the dormitory I return back to visit the dining-hall at 4:30 in the afternoon. At first I don't remember the meal's name. It cannot be the French verb “coucher”, which of course means “to sleep”... and it puzzles me a few seconds to remember, yes, it has been named „goûter“. This must have been the most important meal to me and once again I taste the fresh white bread and butter and the dark chocolate for the first time after all those years. These sensations are being followed by the sugared snow-white yoghurt, which had been ordered by most of the pupils. Once again I experience my arrival as a shy 12-year old fresher at the giant gateway and the introduction to the the upper, dark dormitory #3, which merely is to be accessed by three crunching, wooden staircases. Feeling the cold atmosphere at the dormitory I remember the open windows are inviting the winterly cold into our beds to prevent any blossoming of excessive hormonal overproduction.

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Anyway I am glad the school does not force us too much into religious corsets and allows us a great favour in tolerance. Of course the first years are starting with prescribed masses before breakfast, but the highest grades will be allowed to attend masses ad lib. Around 1964 the school's management also widens the tolerances in haircut restrictions. Initially the officials are ordering me to visit the hairdresser at intervals, but soon these disciplinary speeches must have become to much of a hassle for our supervisors. At the final examination in 1966 I feel satisfied to have freed myself from the time consuming religious and humiliating disciplinary yoke. The complex, gloomy buildings with a virtual labyrinth of long corridors, halls and classrooms allow me to move around freely and to roam around to sense all kinds of fantastic memories. Suddenly I feel myself as a 15- or 16-years old guy located at the entrance gate to meet two girls from a remote town. It must have been a free Saturday afternoon around the early autumn of 1963 and I am just talking to a fellow student in the bright sunshine at the main gate. And unexpectedly we are being contacted by two slightly elder girls of a similar size. I must have forgotten how the discussion started, but in the end we are walking the pavement pairwise and hand in hand, heading for the city's border at the river Meuse. Both girls just took a train from a neighbouring city and visited our school to have some fun. They just hooked these two students hanging around in the afternoon, but we don't mind too much... I still feel thrilled with excitement the very moment my neighbour girl stops at the last alley leaving town and turns around to embrace me to suddenly kiss me as if we have been a married couple for years. 14

She embarrasses me by driving her tongue like a quick and vivid snake between my teeth to demonstrate her superiority in offering me my first French kiss. It takes me some time to follow her as she retracts her tongue while pressing her body against my corpse and I feel how she invites me by sucking my tongue. These contacts may vividly be remembered against a background of a green lantern in front of a tall windowless wall. Still I vaguely feel something must be missing in the vision, a critical link to be remembered..., but I don't clearly identify what it is. Never mind, I enjoy the the feeling of these memories of the past. Feeling her kiss so moistened and so trifled I wonder how her dark brown hair is flowing from her head down to her budding breasts, but suddenly I see that her eyes, her lips and nose are missing between her hair. Right now I notice the absence of any original face in my memories. Whenever I remember a face these memories have been refreshed from photographs in one of my ancient albums. These buccaneer girls however never gave me a photograph and I did not even remember their names nor the name of my fellow-student. Of course I am aware none of the local girls would ever risk her reputation for a Saturday evening with an unexperienced schoolboy. In search for some exciting adventure the local girls will certainly take a train to a neighbouring city to avoid accidental recognitions by family members and neighbours. There cannot be any doubt the details to visages must be stored in another area of the memory. The reasons for an alternative storage location may have to be traced back to a far and remote period of time, in which a child will have to learn how to recognize faces, or maybe for some trivial reason like the idea the storage of quickly changing details is not worth spending too much of main memory area. 15

There is only one face I clearly remember from these dark ages: the visage belonging to my favourite teacher in Latin, Greek and history. Although today he has been dead and gone for decades I am able to recall his face in a vivid retrospect and I observe him smoking while leaning at the white classroom's heating radiator – holding a cigarette between his fingers. Probably there also may be another reason for my problems in remembering visages. I guess there must be an optimal period of time to investigate your fellow-men's faces. The optimum may be estimated at around one second for a quick look. Staring at a stranger for more than one second will quickly result in an impertinence or an erotic approach. Of course eyecontacts are to be considered as the intros to erotic contacts and whoever does not want to be contacted may feel these approaches as offenses. However studying a face for no more than one second certainly diminishes the quality of detailed registration and storage of a visage's data. Even as a student I remember to have experienced difficulties in recalling faces and names for my girl-friend's parents. And although I am aware my brain needs a lot of processing time for these recognitions I still feel stressed as soon as I cannot quickly recognize someone's name at a sudden encounter. Right now between consciousness and sleep I feel most comfortable and may take any time I need to recover the lost names. I return to my shack at school and meet the large poster of a singer. Music is an important topic in my youth and I remember Dylan's “Like a Rolling Stone” as a costly record which needs two nickels to play the double-sided song in the jukebox. In these years Bob Dylan however impresses me more by his poetry than by his music. In one of his records I 16

once again find an enclosed sheet with „Eleven Outlined Epitaphs“, written in a powerful and impressive language. Some of these lines may still be recalled from my memory: "I'm happy now" "why?" "cause I'm calmly lookin' outside an' watchin' the night unwind" "what'd you mean 'unwind'?" "I mean somethin' like there's no end t' it an' it's so big that every time I see it it's like seein' for the first time" But there is another idea interrupting my thought stream. The other day I visited an exhibition at Stuttgart presenting arts from the Ice Age and the Stone Age. One of the remarkable theses I remember is the facelessness of the sculptures the archaeologists have uncovered. On the other hand the artists invested a lot of energy in detailing the hair dresses. Is this facelessness correlating with my experiences in remembering visages? Did the artists at the Stone Age periods rely on dreamed visions to create their sculptures? This however is an idea that needs to be postponed until later days... I start some brainstorming in a search for other rules in fixing visages. Whoever is staring at a face for more than 1 second may probably risk to be considered vulgar but he will be able to improve his facial database. What about the thesis considering aggressively staring people to have a better memory for visages?

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Elementary school Having enjoyed these escapades I now feel eager to leave the gymnasium to dig deeper into the earlier memories of my youth. It is easy enough to relocate my living places and the elementary school, all being colored in bright details by my good old Mrs. Shingles. Together with my parents and my twin sister I am living in a suburb to the city of Eindhoven in a tiny working class house, which has been built in a postwar effort to produce homes for new families on a large scale. These houses provide only a few rooms, which are readily being stored in my memory and prepared to be scanned. My tiny arms are trained to quickly search the sideboards for the red and brown old-fashioned chairs to check for hidden coins and pencils and in the minuscule garden I observe the first appearance for the tiny green leaflets of my “own” flowers. In my dreams I suddenly meet my fellow-pupil Daniel who died within a day after an appendicitis in a neighbouring town. In a vision I am revisiting his parental home, where he is laying in his coffin in the living place as if he were asleep. As before I am able to clearly identify the coffin's silk covers, the Sunday's suit including a silk tie and the furniture in the living place, but any elementary details for the faces in this room are missing. The only detail left is the blueish white color of the corpse's face.

The kindergarten Right now my way leads me back to the kindergarten, which I must have been visiting between 1951 and 1952. Again the shingles provide me with a set of new memories. 18

In a sunny classroom I remember to feel a bad crash at an open door to the gym's hall, which produces a large lump at my forehead. Now one of the sisters of mercy takes me to an elevated seat at the side of the hall and produces a large bronze medal from her impressive bosom. Then she locates me at her lap and presses the medal against the pounding lump. Leaning my head at the heavily breathing bosom of the sister I am still sensing the cooling metal while the class keeps on running their rounds in the gym. And although I am still impressed by the bronze disc's size of 10 centimeters and the nun's black clothes I cannot remember a single detail of the sister's face. Further back my memory reaches the phases beyond the kindergarten and I observe my young mother Helena at the toilet, in which she invites me to step upon the small bench to pee into the middle of the toilet. I must have been a small boy at that time, because my visions reveal very tall objects in respect to a normally sized width. The remarkable distortion reproduces a giant toilet seat located at a raised level reaching my breast and a paper rol at my eyes' levels. The tiny window is far away up at end of the wall. In search for a reference for sizes I remember the old bookcase which is known to reach an exact altitude of 1,5 meters. To my memory the old bookcase has been much taller than myself. I have been living in this house up to the age of 12 years. Digging deeper in these early memories I recall the vision of a beautiful blue cup, which must be identified as my own cup. Right now I remember how my mother took care to correctly distribute the gifts over her children. Gifts used to be seldom in these postwar years of poverty. Anyway whenever my mother had a chance to buy two identical gifts for her children she 19

always tried to get a blue one for me and a red one for my sister. The blue cup at the table must be my own cup and the high position of the cup indicates my size, which must be considerably lower than the table's desk. These observations allow me to categorize these visions in the same period of time, which applies for my first visit at the toilet. Of course I am unable to identify my age at these early experiences. Maybe I should try to start a dedicated search for all blue and red objects in the house. Revisiting my own sleeping room I am able to identify a tiny light-blue reservoir for holy water besides the bedroom's door. Yes, I remember my sister used to have a similar object colored red. Blue and red, yes, oh yes, these symbols have been around in our house at the very beginning, although we were unaware of their symbolism. These colors however remind me of the first encounter with my uncle Walt in 1968...

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3 Uncle Walt 1968 Helped by Herpes Zoster my subconscious sleep allows me to revisit my uncle Walt as a student for the first time in the revolutionary summertime of 1968. In fact he is not my uncle, but an uncle to my girlfriend Petra, who is enlightening and brightening my college years. After acquainting him at a birthday party in Petra's family circle he invites us for a long weekend at his nome near the city of Amsterdam. As a couple of students we would be considered mad if we would reject an offer like that and in september 1968 we find ourselves introduced at the comfortable palace, where uncle Walt and aunt Nell are living as a couple. In their pride they give us an intimate view into the head and the bowels of “their” big city Amsterdam, which has been known rather superficially to us. The rest of the visiting hours is to be spent in discussions over politics, philosophical and religious themes, which in the revolutionary 68's summer nights are quite popular amongst the students and their teachers. As a director of a pedagogical school Walt must be feeling at home in these kinds of discussions and he starts a vivid dialogue about the future of religiosity in the Netherlands, for which he is expecting a lot from the ideas of Teilhard de Chardin. Born 1920 Walt belongs to the generation of the 1920's, which has been raised and educated in a vividly religious generation. He is still trusting in the power of the old time religion. As a student in technology I myself am seeing religion at quite another level: 21

„Observing the Dutch people at the moment we may identify roughly half of the people as religious and the other half as non-religious. Both groups will be motivated for different goals in life. Believers will trust in a kind of higher power, whose rules must be obeyed, whereas the non-religious consider these rules as superstitious nonsense. In contrast the non-religious people develop their own set of rules to be obeyed.” Of course Walt must have been expecting the question and has his response at hand: „Religion has been defined as an idea to be blindly trusted, which does not have to be proven by scientific standards. On the other hand scientific approaches seem to be unable to prove the failure of religion.” To define another, more precise approach I suggest: „I think some people are considering religion at least as harmful as superstition. Abuse of religious power may force people into mental emergency situations and manipulate some of the vulnerable believers.” Walt seems to like this idea and invites me to prove my thesis, for which he requests some decent evidence. I admit this will not be easy, but let's start searching for some facts. Walt agrees to the idea and promises to support my search. He starts by telling me the Bible must have been written by a number of inspired people over a creation period of several centuries. The Book of Books clearly is seen as a creation of man revealing a great number of contradictions and illogical constructs. 22

In a short visit he introduces me to his gigantic library covering several rooms. A large book storage place must be containing hundreds of manuscripts, partly two rows deep and sorted to categories. I am impressed by these vast amounts of data and ask him whether he really did read all of the books. “Oh no, not really”, Walt laughs, “a great number is still queueing at the waiting list. Some manuscripts will have to wait for my retirement.” Of course it is impossible to end the discussion that day and at departure time we postpone our contacts to the next visit, which is to take place in the summer of 1971.

1971 After some observations at this visit I learn to interprete Walt as a bookwhisperer. Anyone whispering while reading a manuscript must have developed a special relation to his library, to his books, to words and to letters. Some will transform themselves to word-fetishists, other will become authors, maniac readers, etymologists or bibliophiles. Walt may be in love with a book as if it were a woman. Sometimes he will whisper tender words into her ears like a lover, but then again he speaks reassuring and commanding. And within the words -he says- he may observe the mirror, in which the syllabes split up into True and False, in Real and Images... Religion -he reassures again and again- will always play a fundamental role, even if the idea has been based on a misinterpreted or false revelation. More than half of mankind needs a religion to survive. That's why the rulers cannot fail to respect religions... 23

Any individual man will somehow start searching a response to those basic questions “Who am I?; Where do I come from; Where are we going?”. This clearly is a fundamental question for individuals and for mankind as a whole. That's why Walt keeps an eye on religious evolution. Again he explains the viewpoints as clearly formulated by Teilhard de Chardin, who is still very popular at that time. A culminating religion seems to be very attractive, but does not convince me. Teilhard de Chardin directs his hopes to the future, but before planning the glorious end of mankind I think we should retrospect into the past to check the correct understandings of the past. Let's first check what happened in the past...

1972 Having finished my studies in the fall of 1972 I find myself invited by several German companies for some attractive jobs. As an experienced teacher in languages Walt supports me in writing application letters in German language. We agree to proceed our irregular contacts, but we will individually study the case at remote locations. A few weeks later I feel glad to report him of the job I started at a successful German company for telecommunications equipment. At the end of 1972 I marry Petra and move to a new home Southern Germany, where we will not contact Walt for several years...

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1981 Contact is renewed in the summer of 1981, in which we enjoy a sailing trip with a yacht along the coastline of the French Riviera. I am the youngest of a crew of 5 experienced sailors. At these seven days between Monaco and Marseille I learn to know Walt and to respect his insight. Of course each of us has found some new material for new discussions and the sailing trip provides us with enough time for the exchange of ideas. In one of these dialogs Walt informs me his matrimonial link to Nell must be considered as broken: „Nell claims my patriarchy must have ruined our family life. You know, our daughter Laura left our home a number of years ago. She never contacted us again and probably we've lost our girl. There are rumours she may have joined a religious sect or she might have committed suicide. From the beginning of these problems Nell offended my patriarchy as a major cause for the controversial arguments with my daughter and simultaneously our relation deteriorated. In the meantime we are like a divorced couple sharing a luxurious appartement.” I regret to hear the bad news and ask him whether he has been looking for professional help. Walt says he visited a number of psychologists and other exports, who explained different views to the situation. “Some say Laura suffers from a nervous breakdown or hysteria called the borderline syndrome. Others claim the girl may be considered as an Alpha-typed person, who is in conflict with her father as another α-type. 25

They explain two dominant α-type leaders in a herd will always struggle for leadership until one of them gets killed or leaves the herd forever...” I confirm I heard about female α-types, getting into conflict with their fathers, but that's not new. It must have happened and been solved before. “Well, as you may imagine I have been thinking a lot about these things. I more or less needed to produce a core dump of my memories to solve the case. Of course these α-girls like Laura have been seen before, but in ancient times the conflict seems to have been solved by religion. I am sure you know the monotheistic religions consider the woman as subordinate to the male father of the family. This system is quite effective in filtering subordinated women and children. Now if an α-girl is being born into such a patriarch's family she may either subordinate herself or leave the group. In case she leaves the group she will hardly find a husband, leaving her unmarried and unhappy until she dies without being able to duplicate her genes in newborn children. Otherwise she will subordinate and everything is OK.” “So you are suggesting a long term elimination of the αgirls in monotheistic religions?” “Yes, in retrospect that's what I think has occurred to Laura.” “Do you have any proof of these ideas?” “Oh yes. Maybe you know the prewar family fathers living as real Biblical patriarchs, who considered himself as a chief of family, responsible for all major decisions, contracts and contacts to the outside world. 26

Of course these things drastically changed after 1945. Most of modern people may have forgotten these family traditions. In modern families the idea of patriarchy seems to be rather obsolete. But you know, patriarchy is not the only alternative in the world. In fact we may even identify some periods of time in history, which were famous to have been dominated by matriarchy.” “Can you imagine a good reason to exchange matriarchy against patriarchy?” Walt pondered a while and responded: “Well, in a hunter's family the clan's mother may be more powerful and permanently available. That's why I am confident a matriarchy may have dominated the Ice Age. On the other hand patriarchy must have prevailed as soon as mankind started to build towns, which needed a defence system against agression. At the crossroads between matriarchy and patriarchy there must have been a switchover time, in which man and woman have been equally predestined to attain leadership. Equality however does not seem to be stable enough and so a quick transfer did lead mankind to patriarchy.” Although these facts seem quite reliable I ask Walt for some proofs for this statement and he answers: „Just open the Bible to check that woman must obey to her man.” I am not so confident and respond: “I'm am not so sure about that statement. This may as well be a misinterpretation or falsification of the texts. 27

Just imagine how easily a minor word misplacement will transform a nice and humble document into a sharp and ugly affront. These kind of experiences will certainly convince an author to be more careful in writings. As a matter of fact we've also identified religions, which consider man and woman as equal partners.” „Could you please give me an example...?“

Fig. 1: Hermes of Roquepertuse While preparing me for this trip I remember to have studied a travel guide in which I found a mysterious bi-faced sculpture named Hermes of Roquepertuse. Compared to the creation legend written by Plato in his Symposium this sculpture seems to represent the initially created Adam consisting in a male and a female half. However I decide to restrict the discussion to Plato's dialogue: „Now let's consider Plato's famous creation legend in the Symposium-dialogue.“ 28

Walt frowns at the response and replies with the scientists' claim Plato may have found the story in an ancient Hebrew source, from which he may have token the legend and adapted it to fit best for his purposes. This would also explain the typical Greek variant in which the creation legend additionally describes the existence of homoerotic couples. Plato's legend of course describes two persons, either male and female or male/male respectively female/female couples, who have been fixed together back to back. Ever since the creation episode they are unable to see the partner's face. They behave like mighty androgynous creatures, who are planning to overrun the heavens in the sky. The gods feel frightened and Zeus feels obliged to cut these early creatures in two halves with a horse's hair, just like you and I would halve an egg into slices. Then as an illustration I present the photograph of Hermes of Roquepertuse to Walt and ask him to consider my idea the sculpture may symbolize the double male-female creature at the moment of splitting the couple in two halves. I offer Walt this photograph and Plato's small manuscript including my own notes as a small present and reminder to our sailing trip. He gladly accepts and promises to investigate the Biblical sources to these legends. He seems to have accepted the idea of modifications in the Bible and develops some enthusiasm in the search for these mysteries in early creation legends. However it will take some years in which our contacts remain quite seldom, occurring at birthdays, by telephone, by postcard or by letter.

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1984 In 1984 I concentrate my studies on the Kabbala by reading some of the books written by Helena Blavatsky, such as the Secret Doctrine and Isis Unveiled. I compose a summary and send the results to Walt including my review, in which I judge these works as slightly chaotic. Basically the manuscripts do contain valuable and correct information, but the theory is mixed up with a lot of superfluous background noise. Walt replies to this letter by a telephone call and announces he will have a look into these works, but he does not respond in the following years.

1995 By a lucky chance we meet again at a birthday party and restart the conversation about the creation's legends in an extended apple orchard. Walt describes me his latest research results by quoting a well-known author who describes that all three major monotheistic religions in fact rely on the same God. Additionally he claims to have found some interesting medieval comments to the Biblical creation legend, in which another variant of the Genesis-story is being told, which seems to be rather similar to Plato's variant in Symposium. At this stage his studies are still incomplete and have been delayed by several illnesses and handicaps. He reports of a recent removal from his former villa to a smaller home in the city of Eindhoven. Unfortunately the transporters were unable to reinstall his library in the same order as before and left a chaotic structure in their new home. He feels unable to reorder the archive and cannot find all papers he needs for the documentation. 30

We agree about a common base for our studies, which implies the need for a perfect strategy in evolution processes, in which religion quite efficiently neutralizes the α-types in a family to consolidate either the father's or the mother's position. In early ages (the Stone age or Ice age eras) religion preferred the matriarchy to neutralize the male α-members of the clan. Today however the major religions prefer patriarchy to neutralize the female α-members of the clan. Of course in both cases a vast number of valuable α-members will be lost, but the losses will certainly be compensated by an optimally stabilized society. The crossover from matriarchy to patriarchy may have taken place at about 8000 b.C. and seems to be coincident with the first appearance of the sky-God Dyæus. Comparing our viewpoints we feel to be differing in the momentum for the neutralization of the clan's α-members. Walt considers a divine power as a designer for these ideas, whereas I am thinking of an evolutionary step according to Darwin's theories.

2000 In spite of these promising results a few years are passing by without any written contacts. At the beginning of the wintertime 2000 Walt obviously feels depressed and invites me to an urgent visit him at a weekend. This invitation is following his 80th birthday party dated two months earlier, which had been restricted to the inner family circle. His call alarms me and I decide to drive the 500 kilometers by car to see him at his home. He feels sick and weak and feels to tell Nell, Petra and myself some more information about his life, which had not been said before. 31

A nervous Walt reports a chronological life story, starting at his youth, leading to World War II with its disordering chaos. Walt describes his escape route from the forced labour, in which he leaves the camp unnoticed and manages to cross the rivers to reach the northern Dutch provinces, where he has to wait for the end of the war. Then he described the postwar period with its highlights in the economic miracle and the many working locations abroad, in which the family has been living in a number of remote countries. He feels somewhat disappointed at our announcement we will have to leave the very next day to return to our jobs in time. His words do not really reveal any revolutionary new details and we leave his home at the end of the weekend with mixed feelings, a bit irritated by his invitation to make a long trip by car.

2001 At the Millennium's New Year's Eve I decided to send Walt a concept for the latest results of my investigations and he surprises me by returning his response within a week, announcing the conclusion of his studies. His 2-page letter however also describes his headaches in a sentence, “... feeling the pounding of the hammering blows on my brains...”.” In a first reading of this letter I refer these pounding blows to the impressive arguments I listed in my manuscript and I decide to wait patiently for Walt's response.

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Fig. 2: "...feeling the pounding blows on my brains..." A few days later however we receive a death announcement from the Netherlands and some other information from family members. Walt suddenly suffered a stroke and died in his bathroom without regaining consciousness again. Immediately we understand the pounding blows on his brains must have been the emergency signals sent out by Walt's brains... Of course Walt is just a leaf at the Tree of Life loosing it's leaflets at the end of life. We feel unable to complete Walt's biography, but his library may enable us to trace the path this bookwhisperer followed on his searching path to the Word. This is going to be the road we will choose in the next chapter...

33

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4 A library as a legacy None of the bookwhisperers will ever freely dispose any of his books and this basic principle results in constantly growing libraries as long as a living place provides enough room for the collection of these papers. The library is bound to grow intermittently until death puts an end to the owner and his beloved child. Along with the owners' ashes a great number of these collections disintegrate into all directions. In seldom cases the complete library will remain as intact as at the lifetime of the book-owner, which allows us to investigate the contents and notes for further analysis and documentation. Walt's relatives hardly felt any interest for his literary and philosophical hobbies. Nobody seemed to be surprised the deceased owner's testament did contain a clause by which I was to inherit his complete library. As a matter of fact second hand books will hardly be found of any value these days. Most people would not even consider to add any number of these yellowed book-covers to his bookcase.

Autumn 2001 At a first glance I must admit to have estimated Walt's library rather denigrating like the hastily and chaotically abandoned treasury room for a forgotten farao. Covering two large rooms I identified several 3 meter high shelves with double rows of books. Any access to the heavily loaded shelves had been hampered by huge piles of magazines, newspapers and boxes filled with all kinds of literature. Some boxes filled with books have been stored untouched at the attic since the house moving.

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Apart from a few series of similar looking books the library does not provide any structure left from the earlier systematic approach. A quick inspection confirms my expectations with respect to the maint point for the categorization, but I feel surprised by the gigantic number of the manuscripts and subtracting the magazines I estimate a grand total of around 4000 books. Most of the covers allow me to guess the publication date and the intensity and frequency of handling the manuscripts. Walt seems to have used his books as a common location to add all kinds of notes and to insert great numbers of press cuttings. Although most costly classical works will hardly contain any handwritings the paperback textbooks are overfilled with marked sentences and written additional remarks. Up to 1955 Walt used to add his initials and an entrance registration date for his books, which allows us to order these works in a chronological order. In later years the missing registration date has been derived from the publication date, which allows a sufficient instead of an exact chronology. At intervals I have been working several years between 2001 and 2009 to make an inventory and to analyse the notes and titles of the works. The study allows me to overview the way Walt managed to reconstruct the evolution of religious systems in the course of time. In the end I decide to order the results in the chronological order as added to Walt's library. In my half-subconscious sleeping phase I once again refresh the scriptures and phrases, which have been refrained so many times I almost know them by heart...

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5 Just half a dozen of books... The following overview has been restricted to books, which probably contributed to Walt's study with respect to the origin of the religious creation legends. To improve the readability of this chapter I decided to gather and summarize most of the footnotes containing the references to the origins in an extra document2. In the end Walt seems to have extracted most of the information from half a dozen of books: • • • • • • • •

The encyclical Rerum novarum published 1931 The advisory Terra promissa published 1941 Ortega y Gasset and the philosophy for life (1941) The Sohar – The holy book of Kabbala (1935) The Holy Bible East of Eden published 1954 Plato's Symposium A History of God published 1995

De Rerum Novarum Registered with a date 1936 „De Rerum Novarum“ must be regarded as one of the oldest books in Walt's library. The badly damaged manuscript seems to have been used intensely. Of course we must be so careful to consider the possibility a 16year old schoolboy Walt may have been analysing this work in educational school-sessions. This idea however cannot not be supported by other schoolbooks, which would allow us to 2

A complete overview for all representative works in Walt's library has been described in (in Dutch language): Kanttekeningen van een boekfluisteraar.

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reconstruct the studying habits of the thirties. Obviously the pupils used to lean all schoolbooks and returned all works back to the providing school-office at the end of the year. But even in case of a study in school-classes the intensely studied book reveals Walt's profound interest for the social problems of his youth.

Fig. 3: Rerum Novarum including Walt's notes 38

In fact the book consists of two encyclical works: the first version has been published by Pope Leo XIII in 1891 and the second version is a commentary published by Pope Pius XI at the fortieth anniversary of 1931. Walt immediately noticed the difference between the salutation lines at the very beginning of both manuscripts. Leo XIII's starts his version of Rerum Novarum with the salutation words: „Respectable Brothers Hail and Apostolic Blessings”. In contrast Pius XI adds a new category: „Respectable Brothers, Beloved Sons, Hail and Apostolic Blessings“. Leo XIII now addresses his encyclical letter “to all Patriarchs, Primates, Archbishops, Bishops and other local authorities, who are living in peace and union to the apostolic chair and to all religious people of the catholic world.” Obviously this letter has been chosen to address the higher clerical ranks and the male religious members as well. The salutation addresses the brothers and sons, who may be expected to pass the information to the sisters and daughters... Walt noticed the exclusion of the female half of the population and in the second half of the book he refers to R.N, which must be considered as a short name for „Rerum Novarum“. Both encyclicals are documenting a most important theme: “Concerning the situation of the working people”. Obviously our modern society badly needs another commentary to the encyclicals. On the other hand the clerical organisations nowadays seem to have lost all powers in the economical field. Although the Church 1891 and 1931 condemns the “exorbitant speculative profits” the pursuit of gains has been exploding ever since WW II and this process is being accelerated in the very moment... 39

Pope Pius XI starts his encyclical letter with a summary of the 40 years old document Rerum Novarum. The pope deplores the great number of people who find themselves in a pitiful state of guiltless misery and he himself “magnanimously” feels responsible for the case of “the working class people, who have been preyed by the inhuman practices of the employers and limitless competition”. In chapter 2c Leo XIII once again summarizes the plights for the religious people, stating “that anyone may feel free to follow Christ's advice to either live a virginal life or commit themselves to matrimonial life” and “that the main goal for matrimony is defined to be 'Be fruitful and multiply3'”. In order to support the family the pope requests ample wages for the family fathers to allow their wives to concentrate on the housekeeping jobs. Perseverance in keeping these interests upright requires a strong force by unions, but the pope insists on the idea the bishops will have to select and define the allowed unions for catholic workers. One of the strangest ideas is the pontifical ban for any strikes. If employers and employees cannot agree at all the “authorities” will have to intervene... Obviously these rules seem te be acceptable to Walt. As a religious Catholic believer he is used to blindly follow the clerical authorities...

3

Genesis 1, 22

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In a prophetic way the pope describes, that: „...the dictators managing the money market will also be able to control the credit system; they virtually supervise the blood circulation system for the economic organism and they will enable themselves to strangulate the economic circuits at lib. At last we will merely find ourselves surrounded by the most unscrupulous ones left.” In retrospect the 1931 published encyclicals may also be equally valid in the year 2009 and they certainly describe today's fundamental problems. In his notes Walt commits himself to these fundamental visions of the Catholic Church and his ethical standards must have been gravely influenced by both encyclicals. If we choose to categorize Walt's notes by their number of additional notes Rerum Novarum certainly plays a leading part in the development phase for Walt's ethical standards.

Terra Promissa In 1942, in the middle of WWII a 22-year old Walt starts a study of the advisory manual Terra Promissa subtitling structuring by family life, in which we are allowed to notice first traces of a female companion. Obviously Walt starts reading this book and leaves some notes addressed to his fiancée or girlfriend named Nell. However none of the notes have been observed carrying another, different writing style and in fact any proof for a second reading phase by another person or Nell is missing.

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The author Henri de Greeve describes the main theme as structuring by family life. Of course the manuscript has been written by a priest and obviously documents the atmosphere of the Catholic Church of the prewar and WW II's years: •

Obviously the family's leader is the man.

•

We may observe a strong analogy between a CreatorGod and a life-creating father.

•

Obviously the family father has been created in analogy to the image of God, who is a Father.

•

The family father is an intermediate between the woman, the children and God.

•

The family father is God's representative to his wife and his children.

•

Woman end children are subordinate to the family father.

•

The girl will merely need to open the first page of the Bible to understand she must be her husband's servant.

•

The Holy Scripture clearly insinuates the idea that woman is no more than her husband's member.

As a summit of logical reasoning and - if not so tragically misunderstood – as a ridiculous idea we may consider the following statement: „The man has been created from dead material, but the woman from living flesh.“ This sequence provokes the author de Greeve to define:

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„...the finer female structure and nobler manufacture of women“. „We may locate the female character at least one layer further away from materiality than man...“ Whoever reads these lines in 2009 may understand what kind of distorted thoughts have been chosen as a foundation for these rules to raise a family. Unfortunately we do not know what the girls and women may have been thinking while reading these lines. Many a marriage may have lost it's fundamental roots as soon as the wives started ignoring the described imbalance as found in the biblical creation legends. These belittling doctrines do not merely offend the female half of society, but will also be used to explain the fundamental difference in rights, which governed the prewar society. According to a statement by secretary Romme in the prewar Netherlands married women should restrict their work to the household4: "Normally the husband is to be the wage earner for the family and his wife should take care of the household. It must be considered an evil situation if the woman refuses this job and searches for another working environment. Any alternative job would prevent the woman to properly commit to her family's interests.” As a matter of fact women's right to vote has been blocked for a quite some time by theological arguments. The political groups – the protestant and catholic parties - which have been blocking the women's right to vote till the very end seem to 4

quotation from 1937

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have been benefiting most from the new situation. In the Netherlands merely the SGP5 will still be found resisting against women's right to vote. The SGP is the only Christian group to support the idea of theocracy6.

A study of philosophy In 1944 Walt starts his first philosophical studies by reading the book7 Ortega y Gasset and the philosophy of life. Obviously Walt studies this book quite intensively and adds a great number of notes. He agrees with: „The value of human life is to be rated by the tolerable amount of loneliness.” In „The Revolt of the Masses“ the author Ortega y Gasset discusses the struggle against nihilism and he describes the insight: „.. that society has always been consisting of masses and elite and that the complementary factor to the revolt of the masses is to be found in the elite's neglect of duty.“ To another marked sentence: „Christian belief keeps on threatening people by original sin and eternal punishment in hell, causing an constant feeling of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.” 5

The SGP is a shortcut for the “Staatkundig Gereformeerde Partij”. In theocracy the deity is considered as an immediate authority, to be represented by religious authorities (Wikipedia). 7 published in 1941 6

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Walt adds the following remark: „...but also hope“. Obviously Walt's religiosity manages to cope with nihilism and war experiences. On the other hand a questioning mark has been located at: „This century will bring a day, at which the masses will definitely realize they have lost any right to rule at all.“ whereas there is some acclamation for: •

„...that we are at the dawn for a new divine experience.“

•

„According to the Spanish philosopher people may be seen as the eyes of God...“

The Sohar One of the most remarkable findings is The Sohar: the holy book of das Kabbala8 by the Jewish scholar Ernst Müller. Walt's notes in this book may be identified as a search for the origins of religion and the purpose of life. A receipt signed at a second hand shop in Amsterdam dates the purchase in 1953. However the book may also have been studied much later. In this manuscript, which is to be understood as a medieval comment to the Pentateuch, Walt highlights the following passages, which clearly deviate from the standard Bible's creation legends: 8

translated to German by Ernst Müller (1932)

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Male and female9 Rabbi Schim’on spoke: “Male and female he created them”. Therefore an idea, which does not share male and female, cannot be thought as heavenly. And the secret doctrine confirms these insights: Wherever male and female do not unite, the Almighty will not settle down and His blessings will merely be sent to places, where male and female are being joined. And that’s why the Holy Book reads: “He created them male and female, and He blessed them, and He called their name Man Adam10, the very day when they were created11, but not: “He created him male and female, and blessed him, and called his name Man Adam, in the day when they were created”. Certainly the name “Man” has been given to the male and female together. The original unity of male and female12 „...In joining they really will be united to a single corpse, leading to the idea, the male element itself must be seen as half a corpse... and similarly the female element of course. Only after joining they will reach the state of unity. And having united the whole universe will feel delighted, because a united being will bring blessings to all people.

9

Sohar I. fol. 55b

10

5:2 In Hebrew “Adam” and “Man” are spelled with the exact same consonants, so this can be correctly translated either way. In fact in English language the word man also may be applied to a male person as well as to a female person. 11 1. Mose 5,2 12 Sohar, III. fol. 296a

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Whatever being does not contain male and female, will be called half a corpse. No blessing will ever last on imperfect things. Blessings will be reserved to perfect creatures only, not to halved creatures, and no halves will ever carry eternal blessings...”. The first species of mankind Rabbi Jizchak spoke: „Man has been created bi-faced, as may be understood in the lines, where God took one of his ribs, took it apart and created two persons, from the East and from the West, as is written in the line: At the backside and at the front-side You have created me (Psalm 139,5). And Rabbi Chija said: What did the Almighty do? He created the female being, completed her with supreme beauty and did lead her in front of the man. As it has been written: And JHWH Elohim transformed the rib, which He had taken from the man, into a woman (1. Moses 2,22). And if it has been written: “and he took one of his ribs”, so it is just another way of saying: My dove, my perfect one, is unique. She is her mother’s only daughter. She is the favorite to the one who bore her (Song of Songs, 6,9). And the rib is just the side, as has been written in the words: At the side of the Covenants tent (2. Moses 26,20). Rabbi Abba spoke: „The first man did consist of male and female, as it had been written: God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”. These lines describe, how male and female have been created as a unity, and then have been separated.

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In retrospect it may easily be identified how these lines must have an impact on Walt's by initiating his search for the current male dominance, which will ultimately lead to a new insight.

References to the Bible Walt's version of the Sohar I also identifies a number of notes referring to the Pentateuch, including tables with all references to the use of the words “blue”, “red” and “purple” in the books Exodus and the second book of Chronicles. The book Exodus13 in fact reveals 25 divine commands to apply the coloring combinations blue, purple and scarlet red. In contrast the second book of Chronicles14 provides us with three prescriptions to use blue, purple and kermes-red. The Sohar also refers to these colors, for which the coloring names have been altered into purple, hyacinth blue and kermes-red15. Walt's notes reveal he must have identified the colors blue and red as the male, respectively female symbols in a fully symmetrical creation legend. The purple color is to be seen as a divine symbol intermixing the male and female symbols to a divine union.

Three existentialistic questions These informations enable us to understand how Walter as early as 1953 must have found at least a response to one of the three basic existentialistic questions (“Where did we come from? What are we? Where are we going?”): we must have been created by splitting a male-female creature. 13

in the chapters 25, 26, 27, 35, 36, 38 and 39 in the chapters 2 and 3 15 referring to the red color provided by the Kermes-lice 14

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As an answer to the second question “What are we?” he refers to another Sohar's line, quoting “each individual man or woman may only be considered as a half human being. At the moment the third question “Where are we going?” still remains unanswered, but anyway the Sohar's intensive studies enabled Walt managed to find two out of three responses to the basic existentialistic questions.

East of Eden Steinbeck was well-versed in the Bible and was particularly drawn to the story of Cain and Abel, and to one word within that story: timshel, occurring quite early in the book Genesis. God notices Cain’s despair. “Why are you distressed, and why is your face fallen?” God asks. “Surely, if you do right, there is uplift. But if you do not do right, sin couches at the door. Its urge is toward you, but you can rule over it.” These last words are catching Steinbeck’s attention. Not satisfied with relying on English translations, he consults a Jewish scholar about the Hebrew text, specifically about the word which he renders timshel. There is a difficulty rendering this word in transliteration. When it stands alone, it is pronounced timshol, with a long “o” in the final, accented syllable. But in this passage, as often happens in Hebrew, the word is connected to the word that follows, and therefore loses its accent. So, instead of a long “o” the vowel is reduced, and the word is most correctly pronounced timsh’l. Steinbeck chose to render this sound with an “e” and the word is usually pronounced timshel.

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However Steinbeck is not so much interested in the pronunciation as he is in the meaning of the particular grammatical form. It is, in fact, second person imperfect, which refers to an act that has not yet occurred. And, as often in Hebrew, it has a variety of meanings. In East of Eden, the correct translation for this word is to be found by the Chinese servant Lee. He consults a couple of translations, the King James and the American Standard, which will not satisfy him. King James translates the phrase, “thou shalt rule over him” as if to “promise that Cain would conquer sin.” The American Standard, on the other hand, says “Do you rule over him,” which is not a promise, but an order. Lee decides that he needs to find its original meaning and he visits San Francisco to consult with the revered sages, who decide: the word timshel is to be understood as “thou mayest rule over it.” Lee explains to his family why the King James and American Standard translations are inadequate and why the Hebrew original is so important: it is the “word timshel—‘Thou mayest’—that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open and throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’” Steinbeck wants to emphasize that we human beings have free will, that we may choose good or choose evil, that we may rule over sin, or not. And while this interpretation is consistent with biblical thinking on the matter, it is not the only way to understand the text. The particular grammatical form has a variety of meanings. Steinbeck is entitled to select one and use it throughout his novel, but he ignores the other possibilities, which may inherently be included in the Hebrew language. 50

The book impresses Walt, as Steinbeck has solved a similar problem in the Bible and he feels encouraged to critically review the Holy Book. The experience of East of Eden may eventually convince Walt to start a critical study himself. He searches the manuscript for an answer of the third question left open, but he does not find the last response. There is still a question left unanswered...

Plato's Symposium Of course I keep a warm heart to this book, which I have been presenting to Walt as a gift at our latest sailing trip in 1981. In the middle of the book we may find the famous speech by Aristophanes, in which Plato documents the ancient creation legend for the famous androgynous creature “man”.

A history of God One of the most recent religious books in Walt's library is A history of God documenting a 4000 Year Quest of God. Karen Armstrong identifies the God “Allah” for the Arabian pantheon as compatible to the Jewish and the Christian God. Between the pages 158 and 159 he inserts a written note claiming the divine names also reveal an etymological common base. He lists the Arabian text symbols for the word „Allah“, the Roman name IU-piter and the Tetragrammaton IHVH, which according to Walt will all have to be understood as „IU“.

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Fig. 4: The Arabian word "God" At the backside of this sheet Walt quotes the three existentialistic questions including their newly completed responses: •

Where did we come from? → from a common creator God IU

•

What are we? → We are merely halved creatures and will become “human” by sharing a partner in a couple „man“.

•

Where are we going? → back to a common creator God IU

At this very moment Walt obviously finds the answer to the third core problem, which completes our study. Any other additional research will merely be considered as superfluous ballast. He uses the remaining bottom lines of the paper sheet to write in large, capital letters: 52

A= Ω QED! This is one of the most recent religious notes in the library and Walt obviously completes his research in 1995.

The Bible Last but not least a missing link is to be found in a dusted box between a number of yellowed journals, bills and scriptures. This book is a Bible, which must have been ignored for a long time. At the back cover Walt inserted some letters, which originally may have been designed as a spiritual testament. One of these letters does contain a remarkable complaint: “I, Waldemar Theodorus Möbius, born at the 23th of November 1920 at Maasbrug16, hereby submit a charge against an unknown Being, •

• •

who based on unproven theses in my youth forced me to accept the idea that women are to be seen as inferior to men and that men are superior to women, resulting in a loss of harmony in my matrimony and disturbing my psychic balance in an irresponsible way, which may eventually have caused a number of depression phases.

For these reasons I ask you to beware me of disorientation by any further historically unacceptable and maybe even falsified theses. 16

a town at the river Meuse in the Netherlands

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Yours sincerely, Waldemar, Theodorus Möbius, 25 December 1959.

At the pension near Roth am See these thoughts have now been passing for several hours by my spiritual eye while I am resting in my subconscious half-sleeping phase. Now the early morning light starts penetrating my eye lids and displays a blueish grey background color. Obviously the daytime is reappearing and the dreaming game is over. Thanks to Herpes Zoster I am able to revive a few old points of view and to add a number of new insights to the active areas of my mind.

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6 Summary of Walt's investigations Documentation In fact Walt's study reveals the idea that the main monotheistic religions are based on a common divine name IU. In further investigations the IU-combination is to be understood as an androgynous core, in which the letter “I” represents the male and the letter “U” represents the female symbol. The corresponding God probably corresponds to the common Indo-European deity Dyæus, which probably arose in Mesopotamia. Amongst the attributes for this deity we identify the symbolic colors red, blue and purple and the personal pronouns in a number of languages. Detailed informations with respect to androgynous symbolism have been documented in the web-manuscript: The Sky-God Dyæus. An overview of all details referring to the symbolism in the coloring codes of red, blue and purple may be found in: The Fundamental Color Symbols Blue and Red. A complete overview of all representative manuscripts in Walt's library has been listed in the manuscript: Kanttekeningen van een boekfluisteraar (in Dutch language).

Walt's course of life The notes Walt left behind more or less allow us to restore a reconstruction of his curriculum vitae. We get acquainted to Walt as a religious Catholic young man, who strictly obeys the religious rules and accepts the authority of the clerical supervisors. 55

He aims his hope at the social evolution as described 1936 in the encyclicals titled Rerum Novarum. His relation to the other sex seems to be controlled by the current rules, in which a man plays the main role and woman merely plays a subordinate role in a human lifetime. Strict obedience also implies a sense of duty, that a husband must perform to set an example in society. Playing a leading role however also poses a heavy burden on his shoulders, isolating the family man at a lonely position, which clearly has been documented by a number of great authors. Experiences in world war II do not fail to convince Walt that blind senses of duty may result in excessive disasters. Impressed by religious traditions Walt develops a holy respect for the written words, which are ruling our life in religious codices and in law books. The Word inspires and impresses him to develop enough awe to admire vast areas of written literature, but he feels too humble and unable to put his feelings in a manuscript's words himself. The Index's cancellation and a free access to world literature allow Walt to discern the weak points in the current religious powers and the relative values of ethical standards. The revolutionary phase in Walt's character may clearly be identified by the notes he left at the margins of his books. In retrospect we may conclude the religious education, which has been commonly applied in the years '30-'40, may have formed youngsters to responsible fathers, but also to lonely wolves. Walt helped himself to find consolation in literature, where the lonely ones may find more satisfaction in the words than in the Word...

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Walt succeeds in answering the three basic existentialistic questions “Where did we come from? What are we? Where are we going?” as early as 1995 following a long research phase in a most individual style. According to the reconstructed legend individual man has been created by splitting a male-female creature. Man is to be regarded as a split half person and worships a common androgynous sky-God symbolized by the letter-combination IU. The insight obviously managed to satisfy Walt and he allows himself to stop the research to close his activities in life. We may also consider the idea that he transformed himself from a religious catholic to an atheist or to a pantheist. On the other hand he blames his problems with his marriage and the loss of his child to the asymmetric roles for man and woman in society respectively in the creation legend, which originally had been designed to serve a symmetrical role as described in Plato's dialogue Symposium. Walt's accusation against falsified historical facts seems to be exaggerated, but may be understood from the standpoint of a lost daughter and a failing marriage. To avoid similar dramatic losses we may basically alter some parameters. A first solution of course proposes an abolition of religion and superstition. This simplest solution however will not work for those people who rely on religion. For these believers however a revival of the original creation legend may eventually be a useful alternative option.

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Epilogue According to Hermann Hesse each human being must be considered as an attempt and a go for an ideal image Adam of the divine semi-couple IU. As a book-whisperer Walt turns out to have produced a core dump into a large pile of paperwork, which may only be deciphered and understood by another whisperer. At last we succeeded in a reconstruction of Walt's biography and his deciphering work for the origins of religious creation legends... Religion has been instituted to help mankind in stabilizing society, which obviously will have to result in some advantages and disadvantages. The patriarchy will help us to neutralize the effects of a leader's competition by the alpha-girls, but unfortunately may as well cost a number of unwanted losses.

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7 Summary In how far is religion to be considered useful respectively harmful? In order to analyse this question the author initiates a core dump to two individual memories... Computer specialists may discern an unexpected core dump as a textual copy of the memory's contents, which will automatically be generated at unexpected internal errors. As a state of the art the standard human brain has not been designed to generate a core dump unless we use special tools like a diary or a defined set of documents. The human brain however may also be enabled to generate an online alternative, memory dump by meditation at an intact brain. This experimental novel presents a virtual combination of a meditative core dump and a set of notes from a large personal library. The protagonist reports a continuous flow of memories being generated at a subconscious sleep level to be completed by a summary at the end.

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Keywords Core dump, herpes zoster, shingles, oversensitivity, Bob Dylan, Teilhard de Chardin, whisperer, book whisperer, patriarchy, matriarchy, borderline syndrome, α-type, Alpha, dominance, monotheism, Hermes of Roquepertuse, Symposium, Plato, Adam, Bible, Helena Blavatsky, androgynous, Genesis, Ice age, Stone age, Dyæus, Rerum novarum, Ortega y Gasset , Sohar, Kabbala, East of Eden , Leo XIII, Pius XI , right to vote, theocracy, Revolt of the Masses, Pentateuch, Chronicles, Exodus, timshel, Hebrew, Steinbeck

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