Conscious Lessons

Conscious Lessons by Dan Morres Hoyt gave Ari an lingering kiss as they met in the entry way while heading for the door. Ari catching the metro to Foggy Bottom and George Washington college where she is a professor of mathematics, and Hoyt headed for 495 and Vienna were he develops web application for the latest beltway bandit to hire him away from the competition. "Let's start the 4Th of July weekend early," Hoyt suggested "give us an extra day to get reacquainted." "We've been over this," Ari replied. "I just have to proctor this final, and I'll be yours for the rest of the summer." "Except for Monday through Fridays when I'll be putting in my usual ten hour days," Hoyt moped. "Well just be sure to be home early tonight and maybe I'll give you a preview of what to expect at the cabin this weekend." Ari said as she gave Hoyt a wink and walked the door. "Wild horses and threatening bosses couldn't keep me away," Hoyt shouted at Ari's back as she made her way towards the metro.

******************* It being the Friday before the long Fourth of July weekend, traffic was very light for his ten mile commute to work. Cruising at 70 mph Hoyt sighed contentedly at the prospect of not being completely stressed out before the day actually began. Unfortunately, the looming holiday also meant the highway had a large number of truckers who had been driving 20 hours straight in an attempt to begin their holiday sooner than possible. Two miles before his exit one such trucker fell asleep and crossed the median into Hoyt’s lane. Instinctively Hoyt swerved to miss the truck, as he did he turned his head to see the face of the other driver who had made his last commute.

The two cars locked in a heavy metal dance twisted off the road and rolled down the bank… Each thought existed in increasingly narrow quantum until inevitably, one would not be completed before it expired. Hoyt’s last comprehensive reflection was that it wasn't a wild horse but a torpid trucker that ruined his night. Then nothing... Like a wisp of smoke in a tornado Hoyt’s first moments of renewed consciousness saw him struggling terribly against an unknown assailant while all was dark. Incomprehension wracked him as he tried to reason why he felt as though he wasn’t connected bodily, while still feeling as if he was being rent limb from limb. All the while a tinny sound like a mono-tone chant encased him as if his whole body was an ear. Not secure in his sanity, and wondering how he got here he was ready to give in to the mysterious force. Suddenly a primal instinct took control, and he imagined himself forming up into a ball and releasing a magnificent scream from the core of whatever he had become. The tempest relinquished its hold. Hoyt descended once again into blackness, while having the fleeting sense that he was adrift on a directed current. ******************* “Hello.” “Hello?” Hoyt awoke still blind, still disconnected. “You awake?” Said a voice sounding as though it was coming through a string with paper cups on each end. “Oh good I can see you’re coming around,” Said the voice. Hoyt tried to respond but could not. “Don’t try to talk. Just think what you want to say, and we will be able to understand you.” Still reeling from recent events his mind unleashed a torrent of confused questions.

“What's this? Who's talking? Can’t see? Am I alive, sane? Why not talk? Read mind? That storm, tearing?... Ari!" “All noted, please be patient and as open minded as possible. There is no easy way to answer your questions so I will be absolutely blunt, but first I will begin with your second question. My name is Damocles.” He paused. Produced a coughing sound. Waited... Finally Hoyt provided the anticipated response. “That Greek guy with the sword over his head?” Asked Hoyt, wondering why he would hallucinate about him. “No, an honest mistake. He was mostly a myth whereas I am real. I lived in beautiful Athens until my death in 234 BC. Of course we didn’t know it was 234 BC then, but I've had a lot of time to extrapolate the date to all current and archaic calendars. I digress however. You were relatively quick to make that connection so you appear to be adjusting well; therefore we will tentatively say that you are indeed as sane as could be expected. That will relieve my loose cloud after what you did to the brethren.” “We’re dead? A loose cloud? The brethren? What did I do?” Thought Hoyt feeling completely overwhelmed. “Those are more questions and will be added to the end of the queue,” sighed Damocles “But for now allow me to finish the initial batch of inquires before we go meandering off on that tangent. Believe me, all will be covered exhaustively before we are done.” “Moving on,” continued Damocles “you can’t see because after death your body expires but consciousness continues. We will dig into that momentarily. Suffice it to say, you are no longer a physical being, but a creature of energy. You are currently what we call a ‘free spirit’, thus your physical senses are no longer available. The only reason you are hearing me is because, at great effort, I am making the vibrations on your

substance that your mind understands as speech. Soon you will learn to read the energy flux of other ethereals as I am doing with you.” “You’re telling me I’m dead but still aware? Are you trying to destroy my existential philosophy?” Hoyt inquired. “That depends on your current view.” Damocles said. “Shit Happens.” Hoyt answered, conveying a smirk in his thoughts. “Excellent,” said Damocles “not so much the philosophy as the humor in which you thought it. At least I don’t feel like I am talking to a toaster anymore. As for your view it is correct in conveying that there was no design behind our existence, but I would make one minor addendum. ‘Shit happens, and when it’s conscious the smell lingers indefinitely’.” “I’ll make a note of that.” “Good,” vibrated Damocles “Now we can give you an overview of your non-physical life. In a nut shell, when a creature becomes conscious it gains the ability to carry on after its physical death. Sadly for the first people this was just another part of evolution so they were left floating without the ability to see, hear, or feel. We can only assume they went insane, or destroyed themselves.” “We can die again?” Hoyt asked. “Most assuredly,” answered Damocles. “Although we can exist indefinitely we are not immortal. We can go insane and lose our ‘self’, which is after all consciousness. We can also be destroyed by high radiation or large jolts of electricity as you almost found out.” “I did what?” “I promise to get to that as soon as possible, but first you need some more background. Getting back to the perils of us ethereals. We can also be absorbed by a stronger conscious giving our energy and experiences to them, yet another experiment you performed in your first seconds on this side.”

“Sigh,” thought Hoyt knowing he wasn’t going to find out what actually happened until Damocles had run his course. “As I stated earlier, you are what we call a free spirit. There are also conscious couples, basically it’s a marriage among us ethereal forms except that it doesn't have to be between only two people and the previous gender or species of the partners has less to do with the coupling than do personality traits or chemistry as the corporeal would say.“ “I can’t just let that pass!” Interrupted Hoyt. species?”

“Did you say

“Yes of course, dolphins became conscious shortly after humans. It turns out they are great companions and very funny, as long as you don’t tell them that you were once a tuna fisherman. We have a good number in our cloud, you can meet them as soon as you learn to communicate like the dead. Now where was I?” Asked Damocles. “Conscious couples,” prompted Hoyt as he tried to imagine what it would be like conversing with a dolphin. “Right, Couples actually share the same space allowing them very intimate access to their mates. The loose clouds, as I mentioned previously, are groups of free and coupled consciences living as a ‘community’, but able to practice free will and act autonomously. The tight clouds, in contrast, are groups containing ‘souls’ who either willing or through force gave up their will to a dominant mind. “Sort of like Arthur C. Clarkes‘ 'Childhoods End’,” Hoyt thought without realizing it. “Oh, you’re a science fiction fan. That explains the ability to adjust surprisingly quickly to an absurd situation. I was dead thousands of years before that great work was written, but I have heard the story many times from other associates, and would say yes, except he had aliens running the show so it was a great deal less chaotic than the fucked up mess we have here.” Replied Damocles. “So there are a lot of Arthur C. Clarke fans in your cloud?” Thought Hoyt.

“Oh yes, I must say there will be hordes of loose clouds ensuring his safety the day he passes over.” “Safety from what?” “From the same thing we needed protection against passed on.” Replied Damocles. “Other humans!”

before we

“But Wh…” “SO as I was saying, the first conscious humans didn’t have much of a chance. They would have floated randomly maybe running into another mind so that their isolation could be shared, but not much lessened. They would hold on to each other once found slowly building blind, deaf, and dumb colonies; knowing that they were in a group but unable to share anything. Other early cloud colonies might have actually collocated with the other minds so they could communicate like the couples. That too had its pit-falls without knowing what they were doing they could easily create a schizophrenia where no one knew which thoughts were their own; or one mind would subsume the others until there was one larger conscious. Finally one ethereal, or maybe it was a group, learned how to read the foremost thoughts of other consciouses without bonding, and eventually to teach the skill. It must, literally, have been a spiritual renaissance. Soon directed movement must have followed and then touch, until finally - many thousands of years after the first people – sight was rediscovered. “ “Then I will learn these skills?” Queried Hoyt hopefully. “Oh dear yes, yes.” Said Damocles. “Things have changed since then. We can give you those abilities almost immediately, and normally would have by now, but it requires that one of us overlay ourselves on you to train your mind.” “Like coupling?” asked Hoyt. “Exactly, good to know you’ve been paying attention. It wouldn’t be permanent of course, as a matter of fact it would only take a few minutes, and it is relatively simple. The only problem is that no one in my cloud will agree to do it until we have learned more about you.” “Why am I so different?!” Exclaimed Hoyt suddenly tired of this game.

“OK, I guess we have covered all the prior questions, so I can now tell you a story that would be considered a myth by any ethereal who had not witnessed it first hand.” Commenced Damocles. “You had a bit of bad luck following you when you crossed over. The brethren as we call them, are a tight cloud community who were known as Contemporary Apostles while living.” “Damn! Even in death I can’t get away from those freaks,” cursed Hoyt. “What was that?” Asked Damocles. “Oh, sorry about that, it’s just that I lived next to a couple of those particular zealots.” “Well, judging by your tone you may be interested in learning that there is one less living zealot, and about one hundred less ethereal ones.” “What?” “Let me continue.” Said Damocles. “Most unmarked spirits get at least a running chance to avoid absorption. Unfortunately for you a Contemporary Apostle died at the same time and in the same place. " Hoyt recalled the fleeting glimpse he had of the guy the other car. "Tight clouds track their members from life so that they can ‘greet’ and initiate them as quickly as possible after death; prohibiting them from becoming aware of their freewill. I’m sure this particular cloud could not believe its extraordinary luck when it not only had a true believer that it could, perhaps, groom to take control of its own cloud, but also fodder it could absorb making it stronger.” “Fodder… huh.” Though Hoyt with sort of a nervous laugh. Ignoring Hoyt Damocles continued “There are two strategies tight clouds use to absorb a 'soul'. The first way is to stretch it out until the newly departed conscious looses coherence and is digested bit by bit. This is the preferred method because it is quick and takes very little overhead, just several dozen

fanatics stretching the life out of you. Alas, souls are as different as the human beings from whom they were derived, and some will not be torn no matter how much one plays tug-a-war with their essence. For these an isolation chamber is formed in the clouds core, allowing the trapped essence to slowly go insane. Eventually to be, almost gratefully, assimilated. Judging by your initial flurry of questions, you know which method they were using on you, and it seemed a sure bet they were going too succeed.  You were stretching so far that if they had strummed you it would have sounded like a Jimi Hendrix guitar solo. He was saved too I’ll introduce you sometime. ” “Uhhm.. Great?!” said Hoyt. “Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure,” Damocles paused trying to remember where he left off. “Stretching yes, your essence was looking remarkably like fishing line, and the community was about to turn away, for they had seen too many innocent souls perish in that fashion. When like a rubber band returning to its natural form after having been shot by an mischievous child, you coalesced and released the largest discharge of pure energy anyone amongst us had ever witnessed. Just like that the cloud ceased to exist. After the shock that had immobilized us had faded, and the air had cleared there you were. Noticeably abated, barely intact, and not aware, but still alive. We rushed you off and watched you for five days until you finally awoke today.” “And you think I caused that?” Hoyt replied incredulously. It could only have come from you Hoyt. Besides that fact that the burst emanated out from where you were located, if it was caused by an outside force you too would have expired.” “But I would never kill anyone, to take away so many lives, It's not possible!” Exclaimed Hoyt as the horror of what Damocles was telling him sank in. “Be fair to yourself. You didn’t know your circumstances, you were struggling for your very existence and you obviously did not purposely release that destruction. It was pure survival instinct, and you did the only thing that could save yourself. Not to mention the fact that the brethren are notorious for praying on ethereals who are not affiliated with any of the existing tight cloud communities, or 'unmarked ethereals' as we call them.”

Damocles said no more allowing Hoyt to to come to terms with what had passed. Finally Hoyt thought tentatively, “after 30,000 years of consciousness on this planet, this must have happened before?” “There are many legends of similar occurrences in varied situations, but your circumstances deviate at a couple of points. First, the type of energy you released would have been visible to people still alive. It would have looked like a lightning bolt originating from a cloudless sky. In all my days as a spirit I've never heard of that. Also, although energy discharge has been successfully employed to repel an aggressor; an expenditure large enough to destroy even one consciousness always caused the initiator to perish too.” Emphasized Damocles. “Now you understand why no one will join to you until we are sure you are stable and friendly.” “Yes…” Thought Hoyt. “I’m still not convinced that I could have caused that destruction, but I understand your caution.” “Good! That went extremely well. The cloud is noticeably more relaxed, and from what I have read from you during our talk I have no reservations about volunteering to do the coupling personally. If you agree?” Asked Damocles. After an extended pause Hoyt responded, “What you think I did, would it be something that could be learned by others?” “That, I can’t tell you. It could be a special ability that only you can achieve, or it could be like communication and once it is discovered it could be taught to all.” “And if it is a new rung on the evolutionary ladder, then who ever couples with me could learn it without my knowledge?” Asked Hoyt. “Yes, in coupling there are no secrets. To be completely truthful the coupler, having been an ethereal longer than you, might even be able to understand the process better.” Damocles replied comprehending Hoyt's concern. “Then,” Hoyt thought “I trust you understand that I am extremely grateful to you for protecting me, and explaining my situation so thoroughly. However, if I do have such a dangerous ability,

then I need to completely trust whoever would join with me, and although I feel that I like you, the couple of hours that we have been talking is not long enough to trust anyone with such knowledge. Therefore, even though I would love to have all my senses immediately, and talk to a dolphin and Jimi Hendrix, I can not consent.” “I must say if my cloud had bodies they would be giving you a standing ovation right now,” said Damocles. “Your assessment is absolutely correct. We will protect you and teach you the old way as best we can. Where you go from there is your choice… Now I believe there is one more question which has yet to be answered.” Caught off guard Hoyt tried to remember his initial flurry of questions, then with a sigh he thought “Ari…..” “Yes that would be it.” Responded Damocles. “If you tell me where you used to reside, I will take you to her and fill you in on her circumstances."