Comes The Cold Dragon Nabiki Tendo rose uncharacteristically early on the Monday morning following her sister's aborted wedding. She had done so hoping to be out of the house before Akane made an appearance. She did not quite make it. Just before finishing an intentionally light breakfast, Akane walked in and sat down at the table, looking for all the world as though nothing was wrong and the world was a beautiful place. Nabiki knew better. This was Akane at her most dangerous. This was the Akane struggling to contain a fury only slightly less powerful than a category five hurricane. This was the same deadly, misleading calm that preceded the swirling, howling hell that rushed in from the sea to swallow entire cities. The situation was especially dangerous because Ranma was not around for Akane to unleash her fury against. Their father and Genma Saotome had quite wisely skipped breakfast that morning for a "little jog." Something neither had done in recent memory. Nodoka had been careful to confine herself to the kitchen. That left only Kasumi and Nabiki to deal with their baby sister. Nabiki had no illusions about how Akane was feeling about her at the moment. She decided that her meager breakfast was not worth the risk and left for school. Nabiki walked at fairly fast clip, but did not over do her exertions. She had plenty of time and there was little point in working up enough sweat to damp her hair or mar her makeup. Akane would surely go visit Ranma at the clinic rather than come after her. She was not all that concerned about taking a drubbing from Akane. The trick was to avoid provoking her younger sister while within her reach. Sooner or later, Akane would realize that the wedding was doomed no matter who Nabiki had invited to attend the ceremony. Happosai would have acted just as he had no matter who had been there. The same went for Genma. Even if she had not invited the Kunos, or Xian Pu or Ukyo, word would have gotten around and they would have shown up anyway. Had they arrived without invitation, the trouble would have been much worse. By sending them formal invitations, Nabiki had obliged them to bring wedding gifts and to behave. They had not behaved of course, but their gifts of money had been generous. Kodachi Kuno had been surprisingly generous. Now Kuno would find himself paying for repairs to the dojo because Nabiki would convince him that the entire mess was his fault. He drew a sword at her sister's wedding, that was conduct unbecoming of an American suffering from the touristas, much less a high-born samurai. Guilt, she reflected with an evil grin, was a far better weapon than the sword. No matter how much it upset Akane, things had worked out the way they were going to work out and in this case, they had worked for the best. Neither she nor Ranma were ready to marry. They weren't even out of school and they were going to have a hard time finishing thanks to all the distractions and interruptions. The last thing either of them needed was the added strains of a premature marriage. Besides, had they gotten married they would have spent last night together and...Nabiki forced her thoughts away from that particular subject. Fate could be incredibly cruel at times, but Nabiki Tendo regarded fate as something to be dealt with, not something to cry about. She had no choice about this attitude. She was the second of three girls born into a family of martial artists. A family of martial artists possessing a rather muddled heritage. Her mother was a Tendo of the Tendo no Taira Clan. Her father was a Mitamura who was adopted into her mother's clan as muyokoshi. Both families had always specialized in teaching the use of weapons, particularly the naginata. Soun Tendo never became entirely comfortable with the clan he had joined upon marriage to his wife. Weapons, particularly in modern Japan after World War Two, were worse than an anachronism, they were often a liability. Shortly after he was licensed to teach the Tendo-ryu, he decided that a different form of instruction was needed, one that focused upon a broader range of skills, especially the forms of stealthy and unarmed combat. So it was that he began to study under the already infamous Happosai, founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. This odd, newly founded school did not ignore weapons, but taught its students to never become reliant upon them. This made sense in the
current era. The ownership of many weapons was illegal and the use of almost any weapon, even in self-defense, carried huge fines if not long jail sentences. The problem with her father's decision was that it put an enormous strain upon their relationships with the greater part of the Tendo families. Nabiki did not understand and resented the stigma attached to her father for years until Happosai returned. The realization that she would never be fully accepted by her cousins, no matter how good she became was the main reason she had given up the Art. Well, that and the fact that boys tended to shy away from girls that could pull their arms out of socket. Nabiki could of course pull a man's arm out of socket, she just never made a show of her abilities. It saved her no end of trouble. Still, she had not given up all of her interest in the Martial Arts. She had become an excellent judge of athletic ability and a connoisseur of the masculine form. She became an ardent follower of Sumo for quite a while. Her interest in Sumo and what she learned in mathematics class led her to discover her talent for figuring odds. She loved playing with numbers almost as much as she loved spending other people's money. The two complemented one another nicely. It had not taken her long to get things going her way. The betting pools at school led to other enterprises which were, quite often, a good deal more profitable. Life was nearing perfection until fate dropped Ranma Saotome in her lap. Well, sometimes she wished she had Ranma Saotome in her lap. That was the rub. Nabiki often wondered how things might have gone had she ecnountered Ranma in his male form first instead of his cursed form. His female form had put her off to no end. She had been expecting a sleek, powerful martial artist to walk through her door. Come to think of it, a sleek, powerful martial artist had walked through her door. The trouble had been that said martial artist was sleek, powerful and female. It didn't help that the martial artist seemed to like, despite her protests to the contrary, having her breast squeezed by another girl. Nabiki had risked the girl's wrath a second time just to make certain. She had been furious with her father. What kind of weirdos did he think his daughters were that they would actually marry a lesbian? And how in the very devil was a pair of lesbians ever going to produce a proper heir? Besides, what girl in her right mind would want that bum Genma Saotome for a father-in-law? It wasn't until several days later that Nabiki realized the magnitude of her error. Ranma, in his male form, was a thrill to look at. He was even more of thrill to watch whenever he was in action. One morning, as she watched Ranma spar with his father, she got to thinking about the day they had first arrived. It was then that she remembered the sensation of Onna-Ranma's nipple stiffening beneath her palm. Oh, Kami-sama! The full realization of what she had rejected was like being trapped on the downhill side of a volcanic eruption. The suffocating heat she felt at that moment was still with her, but she had already made her decision and the die was cast. Fate was something to be dealt with, not cried about. From that day forward she had done everything she could think of to alienate Ranma. The few days that she had been enfianced to him had been the most exquisite torture she had ever endured. Being able to rub up against him with impunity, but knowing that she could never have him had been little different from walking on coals. Nabiki was very proud of herself for the way she handled that little episode. It would have been so easy for things to have gotten out of hand it was frightening. As it was, she had managed to walk the line and was proud of it, even though she dared tell no one of her achievement in selfcontrol. Over time, and little by little, she had become the Ice Queen of Nerima. Sooner or later her obsession with Ranma would fade, then she could become Nabiki Tenjdo again. For now, she would remain the Ice Queen and be proud of her hard-won title. Akane would eventually marry Ranma and carry forward her father's heritage. Sooner or later, Kasumi would marry and carry forward her mother's heritage. Nabiki? Well Nabiki would make her own way. That was the hand fate had dealt her and she was determined to play it for all it was worth. The world might never hear of the Tendo School of Anything Goes School of Capitalism, but it would without doubt feel its efficacy. The sound of masculine voices broke her revery. Much to her disgust, the Hentai Brigade had reformed. She could hear them milling around
in the school-yard, even though she was forty meters short of the gate. Kuno was haranguing them. She did not find them disgusting because of their obsession. Her little sister afterall, was an extraordinarily attractive girl. More to the point, most of the Hentai Brigade was quite athletic and a joy to look at. What disgusted her about the Brigade was that they let a brainless wonder like Kuno lead them around by their penises. "I, Tatewaki Kuno have at last defeated Ranma Saotome, the foul sorcerer who has too long held Akane Tendo and the lovely Pig-tailed Girl hostage. Now that I have banished him to the lower, nether regions, I now declare that ill- considered match between the fair Akane and the wretched Saotome null and void. None may date her save he that defeats her! So say I, Tatewaki Kuno! The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" This was followed by a round of cheering. Nabiki rolled her eyes and quietly made her way to class, mentally racing ahead of the morning's unfolding events. She needed to re-structure the morning betting pool. These fools had no idea what they were about to do to themselves. Akane would not be the kind and gentle little warrior they had known in the past. Although she often griped about how Ranma never took her training seriously, Akane spent at least an hour per day in the dojo trying to land a solid punch on her mercurial fiance. The memory of Ranma's incessant teasing and Akane's answering growls of frustrated fury echoed in Nabiki's ears. It was hard to listen to and even harder to ignore. Saturdays were the worst. Nabiki had long ago lost count of the Saturdays and Sundays when Akane would insist upon sparring with Ranma for hours at a stretch, but never getting in a solid punch. The bills for repairing the dojo were nothing sneeze at either. Akane was neither the fastest nor the most graceful of martial artists, but she could deliver a punch that would bring a freight train running at full throttle to a cold stop. Nabiki had the invoices to prove it. There was entirely too much madness to the Saotome training method to suit Nabiki's tastes, but training was training and Akane had been doing a lot of it. Her little sister was whipcord lean and as of today, had plenty of reason to be mean. The Brigade was going to suffer this morning. "Let's see," Nabiki muttered to herself, "We'd better reduce the odds for a serious injury from two-to one to even- steven, and lower the odds of a fatality from a hundred to one down to ten to one." She decided on her way up the stairs to adjust the odds for bets on the numbers and types of injuries as well. The battle turned out to be something of a disappointment once it finally occurred. The action had been too fast for most observers to follow and too brief for almost anyone to believe. One moment Akane was standing in the school-yard gate being confronted by fifty or more hormone crazed athletes, the next moment she was standing in the schoolhouse door and straightening her hair before continuing on her way to class. She had simply flowed through the mob as unstoppable as the incoming tide and as elusive as a stream of quicksilver. The Brigade milled around in confusion for several moments after she had entered the school, many of them still unaware that Akane had already passed through their ranks and was safely out of their reach. Six of their number however, had definitely noticed her passing. Four of them were rapidly turning blue and would soon pass out. Another, Furinkan's best soccer goalie, was struggling to remove a rapidly swelling foot, already straining the laces of his tennis shoe. A sixth, the captain of the soccer team, lay flat of his back, taking long, deep breaths, then exhaling with a long drawn out cry of agony. Nabiki figured that he had a cracked pubic arch judging from the way he was holding his knees slightly bent and curling his toes. She had of course seen this particular injury accidently inflicted on more than one occasion at the dojo. It was not quite as bad or as dangerous as a cracked sternum, but seemed a good deal more painful. Even a wannabe martial artist's life is rife with hazard. "Did we get this on tape?" Nabiki asked one of her assistants who was speaking into a cellular telephone. "We sure did! Got it from two different angles." "Send someone out to check on Kuno. He's so still I can't tell if he is breathing or not." Kuno had not joined the fight as was his usual habit, yet he was now lying face down upon the grass, unmoving. "Already done. He didn't get hit. He just passed out-- hang on a
second," Nabiki's assistant listened intently to her cell phone for a moment. "He's running a high fever." "Get a water hose on him and cool him off. I don't want any arguments with anyone that bet on a fatality." "Hai!" "Nabiki-san!" "Yes?" "Good job on shifting the odds. It looks like we are going to clear almost fifty-thousand yen." Nabiki allowed herself to look smug despite her inward misgivings. The money was great, but she did not want her baby sister going to jail. If the Hentai Brigade formed up in front of Akane again tomorrow, things might get very ugly. "Have Gosunkugi bring the tapes to the infirmary. I want to see what happened in detail." "Hai, Oyabun!" ---------- - Onna-Ranma woke up weak at the knees and nauseated, only to discover that he was standing at the front of a room crowded with people. Someone was holding his right arm and some unidentified jerk was playing music so loud it made his head hurt. His abdomen felt all puffy and he had that greasy feeling that he got a couple of times back when Ko Lon had given him the Full-Body Cat's Tongue. Worse, he was wearing his boxers and could not feel a pad. He felt something tickling his ears and realized that some idiot had let his hair down. He looked down. He was wearing a white dress. "Oh, shit! What idiot dressed me in white on a day like...wait a minute! Wait a fucking minute! This is a wedding dress!" Onna-Ranma glanced around quickly, trying to figure out what was going on. Sure enough, there was a priest in front of him, going on about obedience and fidelity and ...CHILDREN? He glanced to his right and the nausea became much worse, forcing him to gulp at the bile in his throat. He was standing next to Tatewaki Kuno, who was now fumbling around in his pockets as though trying to find something. He glanced over his left shoulder and spied his father, sitting on the aisle end of the front pew. "What the hell is going on, Old Man?" "Look boy, since you and Akane never got along all that well, Tendo and I decided to make a deal with the Kunos." "With the Kunos?" Onna-Ranma felt a flood of adrenaline slam into his bloodstream. "You mean both of 'em?" "Yes! Just think son! This is your lucky day. You'll have two weddings! First to your new husband, and then in an hour or so, to your new wife. The truly great beauty of it is, they're both rich!" Onna-Ranma gritted his teeth in fury. "And you needn't worry about Akane, either!" Nabiki's voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. "Her future is secure! Kuno set up a permanent, irrevocable trust for Akane, Ryoga and their kids." "You may now kiss the bride!" The Priest happily proclaimed. Ranma woke with a violent start. He regretted the jerk immediately. His sudden motion made the soft gauze of his bandages grate against his burns like so much sandpaper. Nor did the movement do his head any favors. Sharp pains snaked though his skull, accompanied by bright flashes of false light that he felt as much as saw behind tightly shut eyelids. "Ouch!" Opening his eyes revealed a stinging, blurry mixture of fluorescent lighting and squirming ceiling tiles. It took several minutes for his vision to clear. I'm in Tofu's clinic, Ranma said silently to himself. Why am I here? What happened? Why was I dreaming about marrying...Oh, shit! The wedding! Why won't the stupid bastards give us a rest! Akane's gonna be furious. The effort needed to contain his anger made him grit his teeth. Gritting his teeth, made the pain in his head nearly unbearable. He went through the flashing lights and blurred vision ordeal again. "Note to self," spoke an echoing voice in his head, "Do not! I repeat, do _not_ grit your teeth until this concussion has healed." "Concussion?" He whispered to himself. "I got a concussion?" "Yes!" The echoing voice answered as a great wave of pain broke just behind his eyeballs and washed around them. "So don't grit your teeth and try to lie still! It hurts when you do that!" "All right already! I only did it because I was mad, okay? The way I found out I was getting married was by Tendo and my old man knocking me out and dressing me in a white tuxedo--stupid bastards! I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. We hadn't been home from China for more than two days. They wouldn't even let us get a decent rest from that long-assed trip," he told the voice in his head. "Yeah, that was pretty rotten, all right." The voice sounded doubtful for some reason. The voice was both female and familiar, but Ranma could not identify the speaker. He found this annoying. He knew the person was someone close to him. "So I broke loose from Pops and ran up
to Akane's room," Ranma told the disembodied voice, "I wanted to see if she was okay. If they had knocked her out again just to get her into a wedding gown, I was going to whip every ass in the house." "But she was okay, wasn't she?" "She was more than okay. She was beautiful!" "Yeah, that western-style wedding gown looked great on her. She glowed, didn't she?" The voice asked, sounding slightly envious. "Glowed, hell! She shone like the morning sun on a clear day in winter." "Yeah, you're right, Saotome!" The voice said, suddenly sounding like a little girl lost in the stygian depths of a great cavern. "She was beautiful." The word beautiful echoed around the inside of Ranma's skull a few times, making his eyes water. "The funny thing was, she was willing to go through with it. She said it was because I said I loved her while we were at Jusendo." Ranma paused to swallow at the burning pain he now found in his throat. "She was willing to live with me forever, even after nearly dying because of me and my stupid curse! Two weeks ago I was holding her in my arms and feeling her body cool as she died, then yesterday, she stood in front of me looking for all the world like an angel." "But you argued, didn't you?" The voice asked, quavering with anger. "You big jerk!" "Yeah, we argued. I never told her I loved her and I knew it." Ranma managed to stifle a sob, but he could not stop the tears which now began to stream down his face. "I remember thinking of how much I loved her. I remember regretting never telling her that I loved her when I felt her dying, and I yelled out her name in my ki voice. I put everything I had into it." He shuddered involuntarily at the memory. The movement generated many little ripples of pain in his skull. He wanted to howl, but held the urge in check. Such an act would only make matters worse. The pain faded after a minute or so. "Then she hugged me and I knew she had returned. I must have been heard on the kami-plane and they sent her back, but I still never told her that I loved her. I didn't want her thinkin' I did." "Why?" The echoing voice asked. "Because I don't want any more lies between us, that's why! Who the hell are you, anyway?" he asked the voice. "I'm the part of yourself that knows all the stuff you never admit to knowing," the voice answered. Its echoing made Ranma's head pound. "Now then, why no lies between you and Akane?" "Because I really do love her, that's why!" he answered the voice mentally. "I love her more than my own life, but I can't do anything about it right now." "As if not revealing the truth to her isn't a kind of lie!" the voice answered in a cynical tone. "So, O wonderful and noble Saotome-sama, why won't you marry her?" "I ain't worthy of her yet," he whispered aloud to himself. "What the hell do I have to give her besides me? Ain't I some kinda sweet deal! What good am I to her? I'm a girl half of the time! How am I gonna take care of her? Sure, I'm a world class martial artist. So what? That won't put no rice in her bowl by itself. Besides, all I've ever done is make life hard for her. Akane's lucky to have lived through all the crap that followed me here." "You worry too much about the curse, Saotome." The girlish voice sounded miffed. "How do you know?" "Trust me. I know!" The voice said confidently. "It bothers Akane some, but not enough to spoil her love for you." "Whadda ya mean her love for me?" "Oh, come on, Saotome! She loves you and you know it. You worry about the curse because you think you're starting to like it." "I don't like the stupid curse!" "Bullshit! You use it all the time. It's handy." "I'm afraid I'll turn into a girl full time. What if I start likin' it too much after I marry Akane, then what? I expect her to...to..." "That ain't gonna happen and you know it." "Yeah, you're right. I'm a guy. Even when I'm girl and tryin' to act like a girl, I'm a guy. I don't know how they do it. Bein' a girl is a pain most of the time." "And sometimes it's an even bigger pain, right?" Now the voice sounded positively impish. Ranma shuddered and the new waves of pain made his ears ring. "Please, I don't want to think about those times." "So the curse is something you can live with, right? It ain't holdin' you back that much." "No, not really." "It's the money, ain't it?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Whadda ya mean, why?" "Why is the money a problem?" "'Cause when you ain't got money ya hafta depend on somebody who _has_ got money. I don't like depending on anyone else. I don't want Akane havin' to depend on anyone else," Ranma said as rising anger made his headache worse. "All me and the old man have done for ten years now is bum
around and leech off other people. I'm sick of that! I haven't made a fuss about it before because it would be embarrassing, but I want to end the mooching. I wanna earn my own way...and Akane's." "You can teach the Art to make money." "To do that, you gotta be able to hold classes on time." "So?" "So when do I have control of my time?" "I'd say you need to take control of it, Saotome." "Easier said than done!" "Not so hard you can't do it though. All you really need to do is end the chaos." "Things are never goin' to be neat, peaceful and orderly around me. No one has that much control. Whadda ya think I am? Lord High Daimyo of the Universe or somethin'?" "No, but you can put a stop to much of it, and you should," the voice said, "Trouble is, you _like_ the chaos." "Huh? Wadda you mean, I like the chaos?" "Gimme a break!" the girl's voice said angrily. The echoes in Ranma's head became deafening. "You're an adrenaline freak, Saotome! About half the trouble around here is your fault, and when it ain't been your fault, you've made it worse by acting like the backside of your namesake!" Ranma made no answer. The pain was too much for him to come up with one and not all of the pain came from his concussion. The voice would not let matters stand though. "So if you really wanted to end the chaos around here, you could end half of it by cleanin' up your own act, right? I mean, the least you could do is try and be nice to Akane!" "Yeah," Ranma whispered aloud, "I guess I could." "But will you?" Ranma almost made the mistake of nodding his throbbing head. "Yeah," Ranma finally answered the voice contritely, "I'll stop all of it I can. Then I'll marry Akane." "Not quite." "Whadda ya mean, not quite?" "There are a couple of other things you need to take care of first." "Such as?" "Well for starters, you have some ass whippings to hand out." Ranma felt as though a jolt of electricity had passed through his body. "Damn straight, I got some ass whippings to hand out! Plenty of people there yesterday had reason to be mad at me, but none of 'em had a reason to hurt Akane. It was _her_ wedding. It should have been regal, and nice, and...sacred...Yeah, sacred! They're gonna pay. Some of 'em are gonna pay a lot!" "Better make a list," the girlish voice said in a grim tone, "You don't want to miss one or kick the wrong ass by mistake." "Pop comes first." "Why your dad first?" "Because he's the one that talked Tendo-san into setting up the wedding, then made a mess of it by trying to steal our most important wedding present." "You mean the water from the Spring of Drowned Man?" "You got it! That water was as much for Akane as it was for me." "I suppose your right about the water," the girlish voice said, sounding unhappy. "Damned straight I'm right about the water! What girl in her right mind wants to be married to a guy that becomes a girl at the drop of a cold glass of water? I mean, I got the Nekko-ken because Pops was trying to make me a better martial artist, right? Okay it was a really stupid mistake, but he was just trying to help me out. I can forgive him for it. I got this curse because he took me to Jusenkyo. Okay, he was trying to make me a better martial artist. That's fine, Just another stupid mistake. I can forgive him-sorta. But this time he's got no excuse. He set this wedding up, then he help make a mess out of it and shamed Akane. I may donate him to the zoo and leave him there for a year." "What about Happosai?" the voice asked in a tone so cold that Ranma felt icicles forming on the roof of his skull. "We're gonna hold off on the old lecher." "Good idea, Saotome!" the voice said sounding regretful, "I don't think we want any more blood on our hands, now do we?" "Whadda ya mean, more blood?" "You killed Safuron, remember?" "I didn't kill Safuron--not really anyways." "Bullshit, you didn't kill him! You shattered him like like he was a piece of cheap pottery." "But he didn't really die, did he?" "Yes he did," the voice said, sounding as though it were near tears, "Just because he was reborn a few minutes later, don't mean you didn't kill him. You know damned good and well you meant to kill him." "Yeah, I did. I killed Safuron and I did it on purpose, but only to save Akane." "You were angry, Ranma!" The voice said, obviously crying now. "You _wanted_ him dead." It was not a vision Safuron's shattered body filling the eye of Ranma's mind, but the sight of Happosai clinging to Akane in her wedding dress. "So you see my point, right? I'm still pretty angry with the old freak for gropin' Akane on her wedding day. Let's give me time to cool off. Put him on the bottom of
the list." "Do it this way," the voice said, sounding much calmer, "Wait and cool off a little so you know you can stay in control, then you can make him miserable for a couple of months." "I really like that idea." "I knew you would. What about Nabiki? She invited every nut-case in Nerima to the wedding, you know." "Yeah, I know. But she's just trying to pay the bills. Besides, we need her help." "Tryin' ta fill her own purse, is more like it!" "You're not bein' fair to Nabiki, now. Sure, she always takes a cut for herself, but we'd be broke without her." "Okay, Saotome. You win. Her punishment will be helping us clean this mess up--and no posing for her for a month. Note to self: Search out, steal and hide all of Nabiki's cameras as soon as possible. Better yet, search out, steal and hide her collection of negatives while you are at it. Even better, no more pictures until things are settled between us and Akane. This is for damned sure going to be on top of whatever it is Akane is already doing to her." "What are we going to do to Kuno?" the voice asked. Apparently she could clench her teeth without making Ranma's head hurt. "What that asshole did was unforgivable." "I will think up something massive for Kuno." Ranma answered calmly. "He drew steel at Akane's wedding. Worse, he thinks he can lord it over her and tell her and her family what they can or can't do. That shit is going to stop as soon as I can get out of this bed. I am going to hurt him so bad that the very mention of Akane's name will make him break out in hives." "Okay, what about his sister?" The voice asked, sounding as though smoke was beginning to pour from her ears. "That goofy bitch arrived at Akane's wedding wearing a wedding gown." "Hmm, better let Nabiki work on that one. If I can get Big Sister good and pissed at Kodachi, it will be the end of the Kodachi problem--maybe forever. Why are you so pissed at Kodachi, anyway?" "It's strictly a girl-type thing," the girlish voice said in a superior tone of voice, "You don't wanna know. What about Ukyo?" "Jeez! I can't really blame Ukyo for being angry with me and Pop, now can I? Okay. I'll let her off with no more than a spanking." "Careful, Saotome! You know how much Ukyo craves attention. She might actually enjoy being spanked by you. Ignoring her for a couple of weeks would work much better, and would be a whole lot safer for all concerned. Besides, Akane might misunderstand if she saw you spanking Ukyo." Ranma sighed aloud. "Yeah, you're right. Come to think of it, Akane might have already beat the tar out of Ukyo. Ukyo is pretty good, but no match for Akane in full hurricane mode." "I was wondering when you were going to start respecting Akane's..." "I'm going to kill Xian Pu," Ranma thought, feeling his heart grow heavy, as it shrank to the size of a small marble. "What? Come again, Saotome?" the voice asked, sounding alarmed. "You don't even like to hit girls, now you're thinkin' about killin' Xian Pu? What the hell has gotten into you?" "She is going to kill Akane. I have to do something to stop her and she isn't very easy to stop." "What? Oh, you're just thinking about what she said when she threw that bomb at you during the wedding!" The voice quavered as it spoke. Ranma's blood ran cold as Xian Pu's words came echoing back up to him from the well of his memory. "Aiya! Xian Pu aiming for Akane, not Airen!" the Amazon had said. "I remember what she did at Jusendo, too!" Ranma said, very nearly gritting his teeth. "She couldn't help it! She was under a--" "Do you really think for one second she ever had any intention of using that bottle of water to cure Akane? No way! As soon as I had been engulfed by one of those surokomi egg things, she would have thrown Akane's body out with the trash. Then I would have been Xian Pu's slave forever because she would never be able to release me and stay alive. Remember! She threatened to kill Akane after the bottle of water got broke and Akane was still untreated. Akane was already dying! Do you really think Xian Pu was kidding? What do you think she's planning to do right now?" Something Xian Pu had said on other occasions came back to haunt him, "Obstacle is for killing." "Killing Xian Pu won't solve the problem, Ranma!" the girlish voice said in pleading tones. "You gotta stay in control!" Ranma's blood ran cold again. He shivered and it ran even colder. Actually it was his ki that had begun to run cold. So cold in fact that the room temperature began to fall. He was so preoccupied with his internal struggle, that he was unaware of the effect
he was having on his surroundings. "Xian Pu saw how you really felt at Jusendo, boy," the echoing voice had begun to sound like Genma, "She is going to become desperate and a desperate foe is the most dangerous kind of foe. How many times did you have to stop her from killing Akane just after she came here? Twice was it?" "I will stay in control! I will stay in control," the girlish voice chanted softly inside Ranma's head. "I will not kill Xian Pu. That will not solve anything. I will stay in control." "What do you mean it won't solve anything, boy?" Genma's gravelly voice ground it's way around the confines of Ranma's mind. "Killing a snake leaves you with one less bite to worry about." "Yeah, but then I'd hafta worry about every Amazon in China coming over here lookin' for revenge, shit-daddy!" The girlish voice shrieked back at the Genma voice. "Think straight!" "Well you had better come up with something soon, little girl! Amazons don't let anything stop them from getting what they want. She knows you and Akane are getting closer! Do you really think she's going to just stand by and let that happen?" The Genma voice sounded like boulders tumbling down a mountain. "Xian Pu ain't laid up on her ass and helpless like you are right now, boy!" "I _will_ stay in control!" Ranma said aloud to what he thought was an empty room. "Ah, Ranmakun! I see you are awake at last," Tofu Ono said with a wry smile. "How are you feeling?" Ranma quickly realized that Tofu was having to struggle to maintain his normally affable, bed-side manner. He was shivering. Something is very wrong, Ranma thought to himself. What's bothering Tofu? "Mornin', Doc." Ranma grunted from the pain the effort of speaking in a normal voice caused him. He lay still for moment, wondering how he would muster the strength to get up. "I feel like somebody just dug me up out of a bomb crater," Ranma said with a forced smile. "Do I look that bad?" Tofu laughed nervously. "No, not quite that bad, but you won't be back up to full speed for a week or so. That blast of Happosai's was pretty heavy. You have some minor, first degree burns on your upper chest, neck and arms. The real damage came from your breaking through the floorboards of the dojo with the side of your head." Ranma suddenly realized that Akane was happily going about her daily affairs, completely unaware of the danger she was in. Xian Pu could strike at any time, and Akane would never see it coming. Her anger always burned out quickly, and she was trusting by nature. "How long have I been here, Doc?" he asked, unable to keep the fear out of his voice. "Half of a day yesterday, all night last night, and half the day today. It's Monday. I didn't think missing one more day of school was that important, given your physical condition--and everything else." "I've gotta get outta here, Doc! Where's Akane? Is she at school?" "You aren't going anywhere for a couple of days," Tofu said sternly, "but I am pretty sure that's where Akane is. She stopped by to check on you this morning, wearing her uniform." "I've got to get out of here!" Ranma tried to get up, but the pain in his head nauseated him and the burns on his neck and shoulder hurt so badly he nearly screamed. "There, you see? I'm not keeping you here to be mean. I'm keeping you here so you can heal." "Doc, you don't understand! I can't leave her out there by herself right now!" Tofu froze in place and regarded him with a sad expression. Ranma had seen that look on Tofu's face before. Now he thinks I've flipped my wig or somethin', Ranma thought. He watched in horror as the doctor fetched a chair and sat down next to the bed. The air in the room seemed to be clouding up with a fine mist. Is the air conditioner on the blink? Why is Tofu shivering? How come I don't feel cold? Who gives a shit right now anyway? "Ranma, tell me what has been going on this last month or so." "It would take too long!" Ranma said, trying not to sound desperate and failing, "Anything could happen before I got it all explained!" "Would you feel free to talk about it if Akane were here?" "Yeah, but I can't let her go walkin' around by herself!" Tofu stared at Ranma for a moment with a very thoughtful gaze. The concern the doctor felt was very evident on his face "You are worried about something or someone nearby." The burning pain in the back of Ranma's throat was so intense he knew that his voice would crack if he tried to speak. He stared hard at Tofu, aware that his eyes must be burning like those of a madman, but he could not help it. "Have you told Akane about any of this?" He shook his head and immediately
regretted it as waves of nauseating pain washed through him. "I didn't realize there was a problem until just a few minutes ago," Ranma said with an involuntary gasp. He could feel bile rising in his throat. "Do you need a pan?" Tofu asked. "No," Ranma said, being careful to not shake his head, "but some aspirin would be nice." Tofu handed him a small bottle from his pocket, then poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table. He glanced at his watch. "I'll tell you what I'll do. I will personally go get Akane and escort her back here. Then, if the three of us decide it is best, she can stay here until you are able to get around. Is that a deal?" Ranma felt a sudden surge of relief. Tofu was a powerful martial artist. One of the few Ranma knew to be capable of concealing most of his aura. Akane would be safe with Tofu around. "You'll stay with her the whole way and never let her out of your sight for a second?" "Since you think it is necessary, yes. I will." "You'll have to watch for trouble like you were up against a bunch of ninja, Doc." "Oh?" "As long as you are around Akane, that's the kind of trouble you are in." "Oh, really? How many will I be up against should hostilities break out?" Tofu's voice remained perfectly even and serious. Ranma was not too terribly sure that Tofu understood. Tofu was such a kindly soul he might not even be able to understand. "Just one, I think. I doubt if she will risk asking anyone for help." Tofu cocked an eyebrow at this last as he stared at Ranma again, his gentle, brown eyes were unreadable. He reached into his pocket as he stood up and pulled a heavily laden key chain from his pocket, then he walked across the room and unlocked a metal cabinet. Ranma's eyes widened with shock as Tofu withdrew a shoulder holster from the cabinet and put it on. Even more shocking was the fact that he had something suitable for filling the holster. What the hell? Ranma thought to himself, Tofu owns a gun? Then, watching as the doctor loaded the weapon, he realized that it was a tranquilizer gun. "How many times have you had to use that thing?" "Only twice so far," Tofu said with a rueful grin, "I had to use it on your dad once down at Miyagi-san's." "Let me guess, he was in his panda form, right?" "Yes, but that isn't why I used a tranquilizer dart on him. I did it mostly to make the police happy. They were going to use something rather more potent." "He must've been drunk out of his skull." "No, not really. It was just one of those situations where a number of people leapt to erroneous conclusions." "Oh," Ranma said, "I see." He really did understand in spite of being angry with his father. He had been the victim of such circumstances too many times himself to think what ever happened would necessarily have been his father's fault. He knew his father would not have gone to Miyagi's in his panda form, so there must have been some kind of accident involving cold water. A panda in a beer joint with a bunch of drunks had to have been a rather volatile mix. "I'll be back here with Akane in a little under an hour I should think," Tofu said reassuringly as he put on his lab coat, "You just try to relax, okay?" "Just be damned careful, Doc." Tofu flashed Ranma a toothy grin. "Ranma, I've been practicing in Nerima for quite a while now. One thing I do know how to do is to be careful." Tofu walked over to the bed so that he could lean over and look Ranma closely in the eye. "Now, I want you to stop pulling all the heat out of the room! It's already cold enough to store meat in here. Do you want Akane to get a chill?" "Do what?" Ranma asked, sounding startled. Pull heat out of the room? He had never done anything like that before. He looked around and realized that the mist he noticed earlier was thickening into a fog and beads of condensation were forming on the walls near the floor. Am I really doing this? He silently asked himself. He looked inside himself and realized that he was indeed the cause. He took a deep breath and stopped it from happening. He looked back outside himself to find a sadly amused Tofu smiling at him. "I'm sorry, Dr. Tofu! I didn't realize I was doing it." Tofu smiled and said, "I know that, Ranma." "I didn't even know I _could_ do it," Ranma said sounding puzzled, "What the hell was I doing?" "We'll talk about that when I get back here with your fiancee," Tofu said and patted him carefully on his left arm. "Okay, Doc." "I won't be gone long," Tofu said over his shoulder as he started to leave the room. "Oh, by the way, Doc?" "Yes?" "If you happen to see Nabiki, tell her I need to talk with her
as soon as she can come over here." "I'll make sure to find her," Tofu said, "You get some rest, okay?" "Okay, Doc." Tofu flashed him one more smile, then left. ---------- - Akane Tendo was in a bad mood. She hated having English class in the afternoon. She naturally became sleepy in the mid-afternoon and English bored her to tears. She had gotten little sleep the night before, even though it had turned out to be her non-wedding night. Being greeted by the return of Kuno's Hentai Brigade at the school-yard gate this morning had done little to improve her disposition. Matters were further aggravated by her own friends during lunch period with their endless stream of questions and catty commentary about a "nonwedding" night. The weather isn't any help either. Akane thought sleepily to herself. It was warm despite being the middle of the fall. She watched out the window as a gentle breeze stirred fallen leaves beneath a beautifully blue sky while the year's last hatch of cicadas whirred one last tune before an overdue frost came to end their summer-long cacophony. I wish I could have gotten some sleep, Akane thought. It isn't as though I had good reason to lay awake till dawn. Her imagination had teased her with the sensations of Ranma's hard, flat belly cuddling up to her bare back as he put his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. She tried hard not to think about such things the whole night through to no avail. Even now, during the brightly lit afternoon, long suppressed desires wore away at her, taunting her with things she seldom allowed herself to contemplate in the darkened privacy of her room, much less in a public place. "Now, what do you say in English when someone sneezes?" Hinako-sensei asked as she turned from the chalkboard to face her class. At that very instant, Akane felt the touch of Ranma's ki. The feeling was like being hugged by a strong man while having one's ankles stropped by a large, tom cat. "Atchoo!" Akane sneezed. "Biresu, ryu!" The class chorused, then promptly burst out into paryoxisms of laughter. "Excellent timing, Tendo-san!" Hinako-sensei quipped as she waited for the class to calm down. Akane felt her cheeks redden as her classmates continued to laugh. Much to her horror, Ranma's ki manifested itself again. This time she felt as though Ranma's female form was cuddling up to her back while the cat part of his touch began to gently bat her ankles with bared claws. "Hai-a-tchoo!" Akane sneezed again loudly. The class fell silent, as Akane was again seized by the unstoppable urge to sneeze. She failed to notice that the uproar had ended. "Ranma," Akane muttered as she put her hand over her nose and mouth. "Hai-aatchoo!" "I'm fine," she muttered into her hand, "Now..." "Hai-ai-atchoo!" "Stop that and leave me alone!" "Ai-choo!" "You pervert!" Ranma must have been reassured in some way, Akane thought, I can't feel him anymore. She glanced up to apologize to Hinako-sensei, only to find that everyone in the room was staring at her with knowing smiles. The silence did not last. Everyone again burst out laughing and Hinako gave up any hope of regaining control of the class. It was only fiveminutes to the bell, but that short remainder of English period seemed several lifetimes long to Akane. ---------- - One floor down on the far end of the building, Nabiki Tendo spent fourth period straightening up the nurses station and catching up the filing as she had done since the beginning of her enrollment in Furinkan. This was her third and last year to work at this volunteer job. It had been quite useful to her. It had gotten her out of other, far more onerous chores one was normally expected to perform at school, while allowing her access to information which often confirmed, refuted or clarified the endless rumors that wound their way around the society of Furinkan High. The morning's reappearance of the Hentai Brigade had not surprised her in the least. Wishful thinking was the hallmark of those hormone addled fools, especially with Kuno around to whip them into slavering frenzy. Leave it to Kuno to decide that he had defeated Ranma at his own wedding. Maybe I should talk to Ranma about not hitting Kuno on the head quite so much, she thought. Nah! Waste of time. Ranma wouldn't listen and Kuno's brain could never be any worse than it is now and maintain autonomic functions. The reports Nabiki read while filing them for the nurse confirmed her own battle damage estimates nicely. Four had been examined and sent off to class with minor bruises. The goalie though, had a badly damaged foot. Several toes and other small
bones were broken. The soccer team captain had a broken pubic arch. Both had been sent to the hospital for further treatment. The official cause was being given as an accidental kicking during soccer practice. Nice of Akane to make it all so easy to explain, Nabiki thought. Neither boy was likely to ever admit that they had been hurt by the diminutive Akane Tendo, so it was unlikely there would ever be a problem with the authorities or law suits. Revenge might become a problem later, but Ranma could take care of that kind of foolishness. Had he been with Akane this morning, neither of these boys would have gotten hurt. The Brigade would have scattered like a covey of quail. The video tapes of her sister's battle proved to be fascinating. A frame by frame replay of the morning's events had revealed a different sort of Akane. She was furious, but not out of control. Rather than take on all comers as she had done in the past, Akane picked a path through the Brigade like a woman finding the best place to step in a muddy field. Her specialty had always been the devastating counter-attack, but there was little of that to be seen on the videos of this morning's battle. Unless rigorously trained, and then only if they are ordered to stay in some kind of formation, a large group of people will form up into conversational groups. This was the sort of shape Furinkan's Hentai Brigade was in as Hurricane Akane swept into the school-yard. The camera caught the changes in Akane's face as the situation registered in her mind. Without pause or hesitation she walked directly to the nearest group. It took them a second or two to realize that their prize was walking right into their hands. Before the signals in their little brains could reach their arms and legs, their "opportunity" was lost. Akane's left arm flashed upwards in a sweeping motion that was a combination of Western style boxing and Aikido. The camera was just barely fast enough to get a good picture of her hand as the heel of her palm slammed into the first boy's chin. This started him over backwards and Akane helped him along with a short, wicked heel sweep with her right foot. He fell back onto his two companions entangling them long enough for Akane to get past them and inflict pain elsewhere. She dispatched one boy approaching her more or less alone from her left with an elbow stab to the solar plexus. He was one of the ones turning blue as Akane entered the building. At one and the same time, three boys were coming in on her fast from her right. Akane caught the leader in the solar plexus with a straight snap kick and he went down in front of his hard-charging companions as though shot by an elephant gun. They tripped over him as Hurricane Akane swept past them and thrashed another group of voluntary victims. Nabiki replayed the segment twice hoping to get a freeze frame shot of Akane's foot. It was not to be. Video operated at thirty frames per second which is more or less the equivalent of a still camera stuck on a shutter speed of one thirtieth of a second. One hundredth of a second may have gotten a good, single frame, but one thirtieth was no where near fast enough to get a clear picture of Akane's foot. All any one frame of the clip revealed was a blurred streak of fast moving sock and shoe. Even her recovery from the kick was blurred. Little wonder that the boy folded up like a portmanteau and dropped like a rock. Six boys approached Akane from her left. She feinted a turn to her right, but with a sudden pivot on her firmly planted right foot she slammed the heel of her right hand into the right shoulder of this group's leader. He spun like a top, taking two of his companions down with his flailing arms. The remaining three dodged around their fallen comrades in a vain effort to get their hands on Akane, but she clambered over the boys that had fallen, taking no more cognizance of their dignity than she would that of a stepladder. She made a good ten yards progress towards the school building before another group manage to get in her way again. The strange thing was that Akane did not run. She merely walked along at crisp pace, as though preoccupied and in a hurry. A crack behind the knee of the leader with her book bag managed to slow this group to a stop and a very crafty dodge by Akane caused the next group to go down in a tangle as they desperately over-reached themselves. Five yards from the schoolhouse door, two groups managed to coalesce in front of her. Akane feigned a hard turn to the left, then a hard turn to the right, thinning their ranks in the middle and that was
where she then struck, and struck hard. Her first victim took a punch on the nose that must have been heard blocks away. He went down in a spray of blood. The next nearest boy was awarded Akane's sharp, little right elbow to the solar plexus and a backfist to the sensitive, upper lip for good measure. Blinded, out of wind and in considerable pain, this young man tried to turn away, thus blocking the paths of his companions and freeing Akane from any pressure on her right flank. She very calmly resumed her business-like stroll towards the schoolhouse door. Just as she stepped clear of this last group, the soccer team captain's hand came in from Akane's left and seized her by the breast. It was not an accident, nor was the stupid jerk simply copping a feel. He squeezed Akane hard, intentionally trying to inflict pain. Akane's right knee came up precisely on target. Her aim had been quite deliberate and she had not aimed for the boy's testicles. Her kneecap collided squarely with the front of his pubic arch. It broke with a crack loud enough to be recorded by the video camera's puny microphone. True to form for this particular injury, the boy came up on the balls of his feet, then fell over backwards without attempting to break his fall. Nabiki watched that part of the video twice in slow motion. The young captain's head bounced beautifully on the hard ground, but he seemed oblivous to the beating his skull was taking. Clearly, he was too busy worrying about other agonies. The goalie approached Akane from the right, seizing her by the back of her bra strap with his left hand, and reaching for the front of her blouse with his right. Akane's knee had just dealt with the Soccer captain's pubic arch. Akane brought her knee up higher as she rolled her pelvis and pivoted on her left leg, then her foot rocketed down as a single, long streak of light on the video. Her heel slammed into the front part of the goalie's right foot. She may as well have used a five-kilo sledgehammer. The blow landed with enough force to drive the ball of the boy's foot down past the surface of the school-yard's hard-packed soil. Just as the pain made him turn loose of Akane's bra strap, she nailed him on the nose with a right-handed backfist that crossed his eyes. The sight of the goalie's crossed and watering eyes amused Nabiki so much she replayed the scene several times. A huge gout of blood from his nose came several seconds later. A pretty good sign that Akane had broken the bone high up above the mass of cartilage making up the lower part of a person's nose. Nabiki laughed out loud. "Son-of-a-bitch, that hurt!" She said in English as she shook her head. English was a much better language when you really wanted to curse. But Akane had saved the best for last in her ninety second bout with the Brigade. The second camera had been farther away from the action. Realizing that she would not be able to capture much of the action well, the cameraman had focused upon Akane's face. Her quick thinking was rewarded by catching Akane's last and most dramatic move of the battle. She had thrown a poisonous stare at Kuno. Not an ordinary glare, mind you. This look would have set paper on fire ten meters away. Nabiki was certain that this had been an unintentional ki attack on Kuno by Akane. The look on her face went beyond mere anger. It was the same sort of look she had seen on the other ki adepts she knew. Not that the camera captured a visible manifestation of ki. The only way an aura had ever been captured on film, or was suspected of having been captured on film, was by surrounding the subject with an intense, high-voltage electric field; a technique known as Kirlian photography. Ordinary video cameras could not operate in such an environment; high-voltage fields disrupted their circuitry. Physicists argue that such photography does not catch a person's aura at all, but that such photographs are the product of an effect known to electrical engineers as coronal leakage. The air around living things always carries a significant amount of moisture. The high-voltage field used by camera's designed to photograph an aura is conducted by the moisture, allowing it to ionize the air surrounding the subject; the ionized gasses then give off the light recorded by the camera or film. Nabiki was certain that the physicists had only a partial answer to the question. They might well be right about the technique of Kirlian photography, but their explanation only eliminated Kirlian photography as a detector of ki, not the reality of the ki phenomenon itself. The physicists are quick to point out that Kirlian Photography does not
work in a vacuum, but martial artists had claimed for centuries that breathing was central to the use of one's ki. One may, for good or ill, breath any number of gasses, but no one could breath a vacuum. It looked to her as though both might have a partially accurate assessment of the facts. Certainly there was such a thing as people capable of using their ki to do amazing things. She had seen it done on more than one occasion by more than one person and knew that perfect control of one's ki was still the Holy Grail of all serious Martial Artists. The still frame she was looking at, was at best, only circumstantial evidence that Akane had used her ki to attack Kuno, but it was enough for Nabiki, given her experience with martial artists. The great masters of the Art were reputed to have the ability to stop an opponent's attack with a mere look or shout. To Nabiki, this single frame from camera two suggested that Akane had used her ki in the way spoken of by martial artists for centuries. She had felled an opponent with a hard stare. Nabiki would mark this moment as her baby sister's first known use of a pure ki attack. It was the look on Akane's face that convinced Nabiki her younger sister had launched an inadvertent ki attack on Kuno, that and the fact that Kuno had dropped from what appeared to be heat exhaustion. She had gotten word that their local reservoir of delusional fantasy had been up all night pacing the grounds of his estate. Nabiki had no reason to doubt her source's word on the matter. It had been proven correct too many times to doubt without good reason. More than one of her informants had told her that Kuno had worked through several extra kata with unusual vigor before delivering his sermon on the evils of Saotome this morning. It was entirely possible that Kuno had simply overdone it this morning, and it only caught up with him at the end of Akane's counterassault of the Hentai Brigade, but Nabiki doubted it. She suspected that Kuno had done what many athletes and martial artists often do; he had pushed his limits this morning. Perhaps he had pushed them a little too hard, leaving him vulnerable to an uncontrolled, unintentional and unfocused burst of ki. Then of course, Kuno was probably on the verge of hyperventilation by the time Akane launched her ki attack. Nabiki had deduced a dirty little secret about Kuno that she had mentioned to no one. She knew all too well why he orchestrated these morning bouts for her sister. Watching Akane fight turned him on. For Kuno, three minutes of watching Akane struggle with the Hentai Brigade was better than four hours of pornographic film. Nabiki had few doubts on the matter because she herself got the same sort of thrill from watching Ranma fight. He had ruined the Sumo matches for her the day he had arrived in Nerima. Damn those blue eyes of his! Her interest in Sumo withered and died within a week of his arrival. Thinking about Ranma made her shiver. No, that was not what made her shiver. A cat had somehow gotten into the school building and was now stropping her ankles. She looked down. There was no cat. Chills ran up her back, then to her greater consternation, she felt Ranma's presence in the room. "Ranma?" Nabiki asked, looking around room. Nabiki got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she sneezed. He wouldn't be able to do this if there wasn't some sort of bond between us, she thought. And I have done everything imaginable to make sure there was never any such bond. Yet there was no mistaking what she was experiencing at this very moment, Ranma wanted her attention and was getting it even though he was no where near the school. "Oh, all right. Whatever it is...Atchoo!...I'll help, okay?" Nabiki took a deep breath as she felt Ranma's presence fade. She turned her attention back to the video monitor and cocked an eyebrow at it. "Well, baby sister! Your dancing in the dojo with him has paid off quite nicely," Nabiki said aloud to monitor, "Had we dyed your hair red last night, you would have passed for the Pigtailed Kami out there this morning." ---------- Tofu Ono had treated Ranma Saotome for numerous injuries. The overwhelming majority of them had been minor and sports related--that is assuming that the Martial Arts might rightly be considered a sport. These injuries however were different. No single injury the boy suffered this time was any more serious than the injuries Tofu had treated in the past; the frightening difference was their overall number. Happosai had never been on Tofu's list of favorite people, but now
the old man was on the very short list of people for whom Tofu Ono bore genuine anger. It was time someone taught the callous old fool a lesson. He would have a word with Soun and Genma. Ranma's alarm over Akane's welfare had confirmed something he had already come to fear about his observations of the young man's mental condition. The boy was showing every sign of suffering from a classic case of combat fatigue. Tofu had gone to the trouble of bringing the tranquilizer gun as a sop to Ranma's fears, but now, as he walked towards Furinkan, he began to wonder if he might not have also taken a wise precaution. While it was true that victims of combat fatigue sometimes suffered from unreasonable fears, they always had good reason for their paranoia. This young man's life had been terribly since arriving in Nerima, and by all the accounts he knew of, it had not been a picnic the ten years prior. If Ranma's fears were well founded, it made matters worse for his young patient not better. It merely confirmed the validity of his diagnosis and worsened the prognosis. The bad thing was, simply treating Ranma at the clinic would not effect a permanent cure. He would very quickly begin to deteriorate again once he returned home because the day to day stresses underlying the problem would still be there waiting for him upon his release. Sooner or later, something would happen to push Ranma over the edge, and as powerful as his techniques were, that would spell disaster for himself and half of Tokyo. Tofu Ono realized that he was in the ticklish position of a man disarming a fast fission device, equipped with only a poorly translated manual and a crescent wrench. He knew quite a bit about Ranma, but he would need to know more before he could cure him. Once at the school, Tofu merely informed the principle of his intentions, rather than asking permission. The principal complained, but Tofu stared him down. As far as Tofu was concerned, this irresponsible boob was a major problem for several of his patients. He brooked no argument from the fool. He learned from the janitor that Nabiki helped out at the nursing station during this period. "Nabiki Tendou, volunteering to help without getting paid?" He asked the woman incredulously. "Compensation comes in many forms, my good Doctor," the janitor said with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sure Tendo-san has her reasons for volunteering. She always has reason for everything else she does." "I see." "No, Doctor. You only think you see," the janitor said in dire tones. "Pray you never see it all." Tofu had Nabiki's largesse figured out by the time he had reached the nurses station. He could not imagine a better place to gather more information on more people in the school than actually being on the faculty, and perhaps not even being on the faculty would be better for Nabiki's purposes. "Nabiki-san?" "Hello, Tofu-sensei. What brings you here?" "It's a long story and I haven't much time, but Ranma Saotome asks that you come by and see him sometime after school today." "I _knew_ he wanted to see me," Nabiki said, sounding vaguely worried. "Did he say what about?" "No, he didn't. How did you know..." Nabiki cut him off with a smug grin and casual wave of the hand. "It's a long story and you probably don't have the time." "Touche, Tendo-san! Touche! This evening then?" "Ciao!" Nabiki said with a nod of the head. A short time later he got Akane out of class and found himself helping her carry books and papers. Doubtless, she and Ranma both had a ton of schoolwork to catch up. "Dr. Tofu?" Akane asked as they left the school grounds. "Yes, Akane?" "How bad is Ranma? He isn't going to..." "I expect him to physically recover very quickly, Akane," Tofu said tiredly, "but his mental condition is fragile and will worsen rapidly if immediate changes are not made. I need you to stay with him for a little while so that he will calm down. He became deeply concerned about you as soon as he woke up this afternoon." Akane stared straight ahead as they walked along the street saying nothing, nearly oblivious to her surroundings. Tofu noticed her apparent lack of concern for her own safety as he scanned the area for potential threats. "I knew Ranma was worried about me before you got here," Akane said with a sigh. "I felt him touch me a little while ago." "He touched you?" Tofu said, feeling a bit taken aback. "Mm-hmm," Akane noised as she nodded her head. "He does that sometimes. It always makes me sneeze." "There must be a very powerful bond between the two of you," Tofu said, as much to get Akane's reaction as anything else. He needed to know for Ranma's sake how Akane
really felt about the boy. Tofu had already inferred an answer, but wanted confirmation from Akane herself. Nothing beat an open admission in his business. "There is," Akane said sheepishly , "but neither of us has a clue as to what to do about it." Tofu could not suppress a chuckle. "Why don't you try doing what comes naturally?" "Because neither of us is ready to have children," she said emphatically. Tofu had not expected quite so frank an admission. "Well you needn't let things go that far, Akane!" he said as he nodded at a passerby. "I...I..." Akane stammered and wiped at the sudden tears burning her eyes without even realizing they were welling up at the corners of her eyes, "We live in the same house. We eat at the same table. We see each other every morning of nearly every day. If we were to...I don't think I could stop myself if we ever let a romance start, Dr. Tofu. The temptation would become too great." "I'm certain Ranma has more than enough self- discipline to avoid trouble," Tofu said in a soothing tone, "And I think he probably would, Akane." "That pervert?" Akane sounded incredulous. "Stop something like that? No way! You didn't see what he did the first day I met him." Tofu suppressed a laugh as he continued to check for threats. "I think I've heard this story! You walked in on him in the bath, right?" "Yes," Akane said with clinched teeth, "I did. I thought he was a girl and I wasn't wearing any clothes." "Let me guess. He became erect, didn't he?" Tofu asked as though he already knew the answer. Akane's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as she nodded her head in agreement. They walked on in silence for a few steps while Tofu did his best to contain a screaming fit of laughter. Young people were so funny sometimes. It was not their fault of course. Ignorance and hormones had combined to make a volatile mixture for eons. They would go on doing so for as long as humanity existed. "He couldn't help it, you know," Tofu said with a grin in his voice. "What do you mean, he couldn't help it?" "He couldn't help feeling what he felt anymore than you did at the time." An ominous red glow began to form around Akane, but Tofu ignored it. The time for these two to face themselves had come and gone long ago. "You see, the trouble with us men, is that we can almost never hide what we feel in that sort of situation, even if we try thinking of something quite different. As you no doubt noticed, our plumbing is a little revealing." The glow around Akane dissipated. She nodded her head again and giggled. "I'll say it's revealing! It scared the hell out of me." "Oh, really? Why?" "Because...because..." "Because you felt a brand new form of very intense excitement when you saw it, right?" Akane began to turn several shades of red. Tofu smiled to himself. "You needn't answer that, Akane. Just listen to me for a moment, okay?" Akane nodded silently, blinking back a new flood of tears. Tofu gave her a handkerchief. "There was nothing perverted about happened to the two of you that day. Ranma was and is a very healthy young male. You are a very healthy young female. Reacting that way is perfectly natural and healthy. So long as the two of you maintain a little self-control, you shouldn't feel ashamed of feeling that way about him anymore than he should feel guilty about feeling that way about you. After all, the race must go on, you know." Tofu flashed a smile at her and was gratified as Akane seemed to relax a little, but then she tensed up again. "But what if...what if I feel that way about him while he's female?" Aha! Tofu thought, to himself. I thought there must be more here than what meets the eye. The poor girl is wrestling with her own hormones so much she's afraid to look inside and see what she might find out about herself. "Is it just Onna-Ranma you feel that way about?" "Mostly," Akane said and then hesitated for a moment, "other girls only excite me when my mind is really on Ranma. Well...Oh! I never felt that way about anyone before until he, I mean she..." Tofu wanted very badly to laugh, but suppressed it. People were taught such foolish things as they grew up. All he could do was his best to help them sort matters out on their own. He could not really do anymore than that. He waved at Yamakami-san as they passed her house. She was out working on her flagstones as usual. Tofu had first worried that she might be obsessive-compulsive when he first met her. "When did you first start feeling an attraction to his female form?" Tofu asked Akane. "Not long after I met, him actually," Akane said in a distant voice. "He had gotten splashed during
a fight. When he got worried that I might get hurt, he took me into his arms and jumped to a rooftop so I would be safe. It made me tingle all over." "Onna-Ranma picked you up and jumped to a rooftop?" Tofu was impressed. There were any number of martial artists in Nerima capable of jumping to a rooftop, Tofu himself among them, but Akane was half of a head taller than Onna-Ranma and probably outweighed her by a couple of kilograms. Such a leap was phenomenal. He wondered if Ranma had taken time to notice which form he was in at the time. "Being carried to safety made you tingle all over, or was it the physical contact with Onna-Ranma that did it?" "Both, I think. I got...I got very excited that day and I've had trouble with it ever since." "Akane, there is nothing inherently wrong about any of this," Tofu said with a sigh, "your attraction to Ranma, whether male or female, is perfectly natural. Neither of you are perverts." "How can you say that, Dr. Tofu? It isn't natural?" "Oh, really? Throughout history Akane, a fraction of the human population has been homosexual. The percentage has remained steady, despite the often drastic disapproval of the heterosexual majority. To me, it suggests that homosexuality is not inherently wrong. It is, simply put, just another potential source of release nature has given us." Akane stared at Tofu suddenly looking horrified. "I am not saying you are homosexual. In your case, feeling a sexual attraction for Ranma is not the least bit questionable or abnormal, given Ranma's unique condition. Which form of him attracts you the most?" "Sexually? Definitely his male form, but...but his girl half..." "You, my dear girl, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, are very much in love with Ranma Saotome...both halves of him." They walked on silence for a few steps before Tofu thought of another question. "How long has he been able to touch you from a distance?" "Oh..." Akane hesitated as she tried to remember. "I think it must have been right after he learned the Umisen- ken." "Umisen-ken?" "Mmm!" Akane nodded her head. "It's a secret technique Uncle Saotome taught him. Ranma can disappear from sight right in front of you." "Ninjutsu?" "No, I think it's a special ki technique," Akane said, then grinned. "But the big jerk messed up." "How?" "To practice, he started coming into my room late at night and replacing my things with things from the kitchen. I found out that if I think about him, I can feel his presence." "Does he know?" Akane shook her head. "I'm saving that for a surprise." Tofu grinned even though he was beginning to tire. Counselling a patient while watching for unknown threats was strenuous. He took a deep breath and continued. "On the whole Akane, I'd say you are one of the most fortunate people I've ever met." "How so?" Akane asked, sounding slightly alarmed. "For starters, you are engaged to a man who, as he gets older, will come to understand more about being a human being than anyone else on earth." Akane glanced up at Tofu and he was fairly sure he saw the sparks of realization flashing in her eyes. "And if you have the good sense to marry him, you will no doubt have the best sex life a person could ever hope to have." "Now you are beginning to sound like Nabiki, Dr. Tofu!" "Thank you, Akane! Nabiki has an exceptionally good head on her shoulders about some things." "He owes me some things, first," Akane said grimly. "Such as?" Tofu asked. "Respect, mainly," Akane said with a sigh. Then, in a more menacing tone she added, "He especially owes me more respect as a student of the art." Tofu smiled to himself. Rivalry between spouses was not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it gave both an incentive to improve. In this case, a mutual love of their art could easily result in a mutual love of one another for a century. Neither of them was likely to suffer the ills the majority of his patients suffered from. Either or both could die in an accident or a fight, but heart disease or lung disease or any of the most common killers of people were pretty much ruled out for this pair. "I think Ranma respects you a great deal as a person already, Akane," Tofu said, "but when it comes to the art, I think you need to be sure of two things." "What's that, Doctor?" "Be sure you understand his training methods, and be doubly sure to earn his respect in the dojo." "How can earn his respect? All he does is pick at me and dodge my strikes. He never even bothers to block!" "What bothers you the worst? His teasing or his dodging?" "The teasing. He only does it to make me mad." "Well,
I think you just figured out how to earn his respect, Akane." "Huh!" Akane noised, the consternation she felt was plainly written upon her face. "Think about it." "You think Ranma has good reason to worry about me," she said with a gasp as she looked up at his face, "Don't you, Dr. Tofu." "He may. Why do you ask?" "Because you are watching everywhere at once as though you were expecting an attack." "Ranma is suffering from what can best be described as combat fatigue, Akane. Victims of this condition usually have good reason to worry. In this case, Ranma's fears may be nothing more than a symptom, but until we know for sure..." "I understand," Akane said, as she too became watchful and they quietly walked the rest of the way to the clinic. Akane dropped her books on the couch in the lobby and kept going until she reached the room Ranma was in. "Ranma, you dummy! What's the big idea having me pulled out of school?" "Nothin' harder than fists! Okay, tomboy?" "Okay, but only so long as you don't do anything perverted." Tofu grinned to himself in the lobby as he locked the entrance and hung up his closed sign. So far so good. The fractious pair were dealing with one another in their usual fashion. In some ways this would actually help his patient, but he made a mental note to talk with Akane about the name calling. As comforting as it could be for both of them, the proper course of treatment called for greatly reducing the stress in Ranma's life. "Okay, we gotta deal then. Where's Doc Tofu?" "Right here, Ranma," Tofu said as he entered the treatment room. "Now, how about telling us what's going on, and why you are so worried." "Xian Pu," Ranma said simply as though he had explained life, the universe and everything in it with a single word. Akane turned livid with fury, then paled with fear. "Xian Pu?" Tofu asked, "Maybe you had better elaborate a little, Ranma. I'm not sure I understand." "She's gonna try to kill Akane sometime soon." Tofu quickly put his hand on Akane's shoulder, hoping she would take it as a cue to remain silent. Much to his relief, she did. "What makes you say that?" Tofu asked. "What she said during our attempt at marriage yesterday. And the things she threatened to do to Akane and me while we were in China." Akane buried her face in both hands, remembering all that had happened in just the last month. Much of it had not been pleasant. "What did she say at the wedding, Ranma?" Tofu asked. "She threw some pretty heavy bombs at the wedding yesterday, Doc. Just before they went off in my face, I heard her say she was aiming at Akane instead of me." "I see," Tofu said speculatively, "but didn't Ukyo throw some as well? That's what I was told." "Yeah, but she was throwin' her stuff at me because she meant to hit me, not Akane. Her argument is with me and she knows it. I didn't mind that too much. I can understand her bein' mad at me. Shampoo was aimin' for Akane. That was just plain spiteful." "But it was never your fault, Ranma!" Akane cried. "It was your dad that caused all the trouble engaging her to you after you were already engaged to me! Ukyo has no right to take it out on you, anymore than Xian Pu has a right to hurt me!" "Yeah, but I owe Ukyo, Akane. Me or Pop neither one has done anything to make things right with her!" Ranma said, "Trouble is, I'm not at all sure of what to do for her. How can I pay her back for everything she's been through?" Tofu sighed and asked questions until he understood about Ukyo. He had known about the loss of her dowry, but the subsequent treatment of her by her family was news to him. He had to bite his tongue in anger at the behavior of Ukyo's father. He had to try and put the matter aside for the moment. It was an issue he would look into later. Chances were good that there would be little that he could do to help the poor girl, but he would try. The truly disturbing news was what he learned of Xian Pu's behavior. Most people would consider a person like Xian Pu to be completely insane. Tofu knew better. The girl had been raised in a society held together by harsh rules. She was simply doing what she considered to be both legal and morally necessary. This made her far more dangerous than a person suffering from mental illness, because she had full control of her mental faculties. Xian Pu could and most likely would make full use of her intelligence to serve her purposes. He looked at Akane as she stared at Ranma and realized that Nerima might soon be embroiled in a feud little different from that between the Taira and the Minamoto. Come to think of it, a feud between the Tendos and the Joketsuzoku might actually
be far worse. The Taira and Minamoto led to a civil war in Japan. A fight between the Tendos and the Joketsuzoku might lead to a war between Japan and China, given Nerima's infamous weirdness index. Tofu broke from his reverie with a shudder, only to find Ranma staring at him with a fevered gaze. "Runnin' won't work, Doc," Ranma said grimly, "Xian Pu followed me here all the way from Qing Hai. I know she didn't know where we were going in advance because even I didn't know until after we got here. And my old man is one of the world's best at coverin' his tracks. Now that she thinks she might be losin' me, Xian Pu will find Akane no matter where she goes." Tofu swallowed back the sour taste in his mouth and asked, "Won't Ukyo be at considerable risk as well?" "Only after Akane is out of the picture," Ranma said, "but you're right. Xian Pu would probably go after Ukyo next- -just to be safe if nothin' else." Tofu searched around the room and found another chair. Pulling it over close to Ranma's bed, he sat down heavily, struggling to banish the vision of introducing Genma to some of the more refined techniques of ubijutsu. Then he had to struggle with the pity he felt for the two youngsters now in his care. Pitiable though they were, pity was not what they needed at the moment. He needed to think clearly. After a moment, he hit upon what he thought might be a good solution for the interim. At least it would buy them so more time. "What if you were to announce that you and Akane were no longer engaged, Ranma?" Tofu asked. The suggestion caused both of the young people to blanch visibly. He could tell that neither of them liked the idea. The funny thing was, they were both looking at him and not each other. "What is announced, need not necessarily be true," Tofu added quickly. "I thought about it, Doc," Ranma said in a quiet voice. This caused Akane to give Ranma a very hurt look, but much to her credit, she allowed Ranma to finish his thoughts aloud. "It would never work. The only thing that has held Xian Pu back is the knowledge that I have feelings for Akane and Ukyo. Her fear of offending me is the only thing that has kept either of them alive. If she thinks she is about to lose, she'll attack. If she thinks she's gonna win, she'll want to close the back door." "Ranma," Akane asked in a small voice, "How long have you known that Xian Pu was this serious?" "From day one really, but after the Cat's Tongue thing, I thought for a while that maybe she had changed. Now I know better. After what happened at Jusendo and at the dojo yesterday, I'm sure she is as dangerous as ever. The silence which then pervaded the room was profound and long lasting. It was Ranma that finally broke it. "After you left to go get Akane, Doc, I started thinkin' maybe I'm down to two choices. I can marry Xian Pu, or I can kill her. I ain't very happy with either option." Tofu studied Ranma's face and did not like the lines of growing tension he saw there. Even worse was the horrible conflict of emotions running across Akane's face. Now he would have to separate them long enough for Akane to recover. Otherwise, Ranma would begin suffering from even more stress. "I think I'll make us some tea," he said trying to sound hopeful, "Akane, could you give me a hand with the dishes and tray?" Akane said nothing but merely rose from her chair to signal her acquiescence, the obediently followed Tofu into his kitchenette. "Akane, what do you think of all this?" "I am not sure. I know he's right about Ukyo, but Xian Pu..." "So you think he may have valid cause for concern?" "I don't know for certain," Akane said, as tears began to run down her face in a solid stream, "All I can tell you for sure is that Ranma doesn't scare easily, but he hasn't acted as though he were worried about what Xian Pu might do for a long time now. It's...it's hard for me to believe, but Ranma..." Tofu placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Would you mind staying here with Ranma over night?" Tofu asked, "I know it must seem to be a rather unusual request, but I'm afraid Ranma won't rest unless you are nearby. Try to keep him thinking about some other subject. His mental condition is quite fragile at the moment." "How long will he be like this, Dr. Tofu?" "Hmm, well combat fatigue is very similar to other stress related illnesses. Provided it is diagnosed and treated early, it usually fades quite rapidly if the source of the stress is removed. If we do not do something about it now though, Ranma could easily end up like your father." "Dad has had combat fatigue all these years?" Akane asked in shock. "His condition
is not combat fatigue _per se_, but his symptoms are almost the same. Your father's condition arose from prolonged exposure to a great deal of emotional stress. Your father suffered from it for so long, he has never been able to fully recover." Tofu paused to marvel at the look of revelation on Akane's face. Now you see, don't you my dear girl? Tofu thought to himself. Your father is worthy of a little more credit than you've been giving him all these years. "Ranma's condition is not that bad yet, Akane. He will improve rapidly, provided he gets some rest from the things that are bothering him. Without a respite, he cannot recover. He will become increasingly irascible and find it increasingly difficult to maintain his self-control." The thought of an out of control Ranma Saotome frightened Tofu. The aftermath of a major earthquake would be far easier to deal with on an emotional level than the havoc a Ranma could wreak while in the grip of an all consuming rage. Tofu thought about some of the things that happened in the Pacific during WWII and shuddered. "Poor Ranma!" Akane said, almost in a wail, "We can't ever let his mother see him like this." "His mother?" Tofu asked, sounding shocked, "What..." Akane quickly explained about Nodoka and the agreement Genma had made with her regarding Ranma's manliness. Tofu felt his face begin to turn red and had to fight down a wave of nausea as he realized that he would have to act immediately on the behalf of his patient, even if it meant going to the authorities. He would avoid having Genma and Nodoka declared incompetent parents if he could. The authorities disliked doing such a thing and Genma Saotome was still a hero in the minds of older Nerimians. They still remembered the days when Soun and Genma were instrumental in ridding the town of ne'er do wells. Disgracing Genma and by extension, Soun Tendo would hurt Ranma's prospects as a teacher of his art. It would also be certain to harm Tofu's own practice, but all that be as it may, Tofu had a patient at risk and he resolved to do what he must. He took a clean teacup down from the shelf and walked over to the refrigerator. He opened a plastic container full of small, odd looking fruit. He took one of them out and put the lid back on the container. After closing the refrigerator he returned to the counter and squeezed juice from the small fruit into the teacup. He rolled the cup around so that the clear juice coated the interior surfaces of the cup. "Akane?" "Yes, Dr. Tofu?" "Make sure Ranma drinks his tea from this cup." "Yes, Doctor." "After the two of you finish your tea, I want you to be sure and clean this cup very, very thoroughly with soap and very hot water, okay?" "Okay, what are you putting in it." "It's the fruit of a cactus, _lophocereus ono_," Tofu said with a little pride in his voice, "It's an extremely rare, slow growing plant I found while I was away on my research trip. The juice of the fruit isn't exactly a narcotic, but it does help a person relax and maintain their self-confidence and self-control." "Help with self-confidence? Ranma needs help with his selfconfidence?" "Yes, for the moment. He has very little control over his own life right now, in case you have not noticed. It has eroded his self-confidence a great deal. This is one of the major causes of combat fatigue. A lack of control over one's own life and circumstances. It can destroy the strongest of men." Akane inhaled sharply as though experiencing a sudden revelation. "Much of Ranma's behavior has been overcompensation for this lack of personal control in his life. He has borne up quite well, all said and done." "That's why he's always so happy in a fight!" Akane exclaimed, "He feels as though he's in control." Tofu nodded as he thoroughly washed his hands. "And he usually is if half of what I hear is true." Akane giggled in spite of herself. "I'm sure you haven't heard the half of it." Tofu involuntarily shuddered. How much more could have possibly been happening to this young man, he thought. He poured the treated cup full of green tea, then filled another cup for Akane. "Here, go have tea with Ranma. I'm going to be gone for a while. I am going to lock the outer doors. You are not to allow anyone else into the clinic until I return." "Okay, Dr. Tofu." "I may be gone for several hours, so don't be alarmed. You'll find a cot in the hall closet if it gets to be too late." "Where are you going, Dr. Tofu?" "I am going to go have a little talk with Ranma's parents and a few other folks. Be sure to rinse that cup in hot water before you touch the inside of it!" Tofu said over his shoulder as he
hurried towards the lobby. The last thing he wanted at the moment was an argument from Akane. He was going to need that energy to deal with other matters. Akane watched Tofu's departing back through the glass doors of the clinic. Much to her shock, he was emanating a battle aura. I wonder if he is going to beat up Mr. Saotome, she thought, more power to him if he does. Remembering her assigned duties she fetched the tray and carried it into Ranma's room. His eyes were closed and for the very first time, Akane saw something in Ranma's face she had never noticed before. Perhaps the reason she had never seen it was because worry engraves a person's face slowly and no one notices it until something breaks. Akane sadly shook her head. The seams in Ranma's face were so obvious now it was hard for her to believe she had missed them. She was still studying his face when he noted her presence and opened his eyes. "I brought you some tea." "Where's Dr. Tofu?" "He had a few errands to run," Akane said as she helped him raise his head. Rather than simply hand him the cup, she held it to his lips. "Drink this." "What is it?" Ranma whispered in hoarse voice. "Tea and a little something to make you feel better." "It isn't going to knock me out is it?" Ranma asked suspiciously. "Dr. Tofu said it would ease your pain and make you relax. He didn't say anything about sleep." Ranma did not refuse the tea. She did not think he would. He never refused anything from her when she really wanted him to take it. "Aw, man!" Ranma said as he laid back against the pillows, "That hit the spot!" Akane smiled. Some small part of her mind warned her that she was letting her true feelings for Ranma show. She told it to go to hell. Even beat and bandaged, the classic lines of his godlike body thrilled her. Being held by him was like being caressed by a bronze statue, but one that was warm and alive--Oh, so very, very much alive! Ranma looked back at her, his eyes shining in a way she had not seen before. She got lost in their ocean blue depths. "Ranma, I..." She did not get to finish because he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. This was not a platonic peck on the cheek, nor was it a gentle brush of his lips on hers. This was a full blown, fully passionate, R-rated, let's go make babies together type kiss. He did not let her come up for air for a very, very long time. Akane was so shocked she almost did not take time to enjoy it until the very end. She sat down heavily in the nearby chair the instant he let her go. Her legs were too weak for her to remain standing. "Akane...I'm...I'm sorry. I...I've been wanting to do that since the first day I met you...I would have too, but...but I was a girl at the time. I won't let it happen again! I promise!" Ranma said, then passed out as though some unseen hand had pressed his off button. Akane dropped the teacup and it shattered unnoticed upon the immaculately polished tiles of the clinic floor. She began giggling, then she laughed so hard her ribs hurt. "Ranma Saotome, you big dummy!" Akane said, blinking back unbidden tears, "I love you! How could you not know that by now?" Ranma snored obliviously as the lines of worry in his face showed signs of fading. Akane took his hand and clutched it to her breast. "Oh, Ranma," she whispered, "Whatever will we do?" ---------- - By the time Tofu reached the Tendo home, the tiny quantity of drug that had soaked through his skin while preparing Ranma's dose took its full effect upon him. It was not very much, but he was thankful for it just the same. Kasumi answered the door. "Oh, my! Good evening, Dr. Tofu!" "Good evening, Nurse," Tofu said, "Is Saotome-san here? I need to speak with him." Kasumi blinked at his calling her nurse. Tofu hated being so impersonal with her, but now was not the time for him to lose control of himself. He had a patient in need of care and that came above all else. Thinking of Kasumi as a fellow professional helped. "Why yes, he is. This way if you please, Doctor," Kasumi said as she led Tofu into the living room. Tofu was grateful that she caught his cue and recovered so quickly. As usual, Soun and Genma were sitting in the engawa, engrossed in another shogi match. "Mr. Saotome?" Kasumi said cheerfully as ever, "You have a visitor." Both Genma and Soun looked up at Tofu, then stared at him in shock for a second. They got up quickly and bowed. "Good evening, Sensei," Soun said as he bowed. "Is Ranma all right?" Genma asked as he straightened up and looked concerned. Tofu studied Genma's physique carefully as
he began to think, If I try to explain this straight out, he is simply going to scoff and say the boy will recover the same way he always has before. I have to do something to make him realize the seriousness of this situation. Much of Ranma's trouble comes from that damnable Nekko-ken training. Genma's a good hearted soul, it's just that he is entirely too rough and doesn't listen very well. Aha! That old trick will work on him. What Tofu had in mind would not work on everyone, but he could now see that Genma was among the few susceptible to the particular treatment he had in mind. The technique was commonly used as a prank on new trainees, just beginning to learn the rudiments of ubijutsu. Sensei often used it on new students who needed a lesson in paying attention to instruction. Experienced students paid very, very careful attention to their instructors in ubijutsu. Taking full advantage of his lanky frame and deceptive movements, Tofu quickly closed on Genma and rubbed Genma's neck and shoulders. He was of course, applying judicious amounts of pressure to specific parts of Genma's body. "Now you should be able to hear a gnat land a hundred meters away, Genma-kun," Tofu said in a voice so low he should not have been heard by anyone. Genma quickly covered his ears with both hands as his eyes grew wide with shock. "Don't worry," Tofu subvocalized, "It will only last a few hours." "Why don't you have a seat at the table?" Tofu asked in a normal voice. "We need to talk." Genma winced as though Tofu had shouted into a large, powerful public address system, then nodded his head. "Nurse?" "Yes, Doctor?" Kasumi said. "I think Saotome-san needs some aspirin." "Right away, Doctor," Kasumi said. Tofu noted that she seemed quietly amused. Maybe she likes being called "Nurse," Tofu thought. Soun Tendo stared at Tofu too shocked to cry, but looked as though he might start. Tofu reached over with his left hand and pinched Soun's right shoulder. Soun collapsed to his knees. The ubijutsu technique was not quite as effective as those suggested by science fiction movies, but it worked well enough under these rather more mundane circumstances. Soun was not unconscious, just very, very calm. Hearing a faint noise behind him, Tofu raised his left hand into the air without turning around. "Don't go anywhere just yet, Nabiki! "Tofu said grimly, "This involves you just about as much as it does anyone else here tonight." Nabiki first froze in her tracks, then quietly walked over to the table and sat down. The sound of her steps suggested she was more than a little apprehensive. Good! Tofu thought to himself, she should be. Out of the corner of his eye, Tofu could see Genma pressing his hands against his ears, and holding his mouth open. Good! Tofu thought. Now you cannot help but hear what needs to be heard. You won't miss a thing, Genma-kun! Even if you do cover your ears, and going panda will only make matters worse. Tofu was about to ask about Nodoka when she came down the stairs. "Good evening, Sensei," Nodoka said, to Tofu. Genma winced. "Good evening, Saotome-san. Please excuse me for intruding upon you this evening, but we need to discuss the matter of your son's health and future well being." Tears came into Genma's eyes. Tofu smiled inwardly at this. Genma was only just beginning to feel the technique's full effect. "Of course, Sensei. Would you care for tea?" Kasumi returned with a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water, setting them on the table in front of Genma. He blinked and drew back as though she had just entered the room astraddle a large frontloader and dumped a load of gravel on the table. "That would be very nice," Tofu said with short bow, "Thank you very much." Genma again covered his ears with both hands and moaned as Tofu spoke. Clearly he regretted the latter action, stopping in mid-moan with a little squeak that was almost equally devastating. Kasumi pried the adult proof cap off the aspirin bottle. It opened with a faint pop, causing Genma to dive for cover. This action of course caused several noises which Genma seemed to immediately regret. He returned to an upright position, moving as though he were preparing to go into the Umisen-ken. Just as he got straightened out, Kasumi shook two aspirin out of the small, plastic bottle. Tofu knew for a fact that Genma was bald, but he could have sworn the man's hair stood straight up as Genma tried to shield his face from what was obviously an exploding aspirin bottle. Nodoka began setting the table. The noise she made caused Genma to vibrate as though he were caught in a paint shaker. He reached for
the aspirin bottle. "I wouldn't take any more of those for an hour or so, Genmakun," Tofu subvocalized, "They might make your ears ring." Such a prospect obviously terrified Genma. Tears welled up in his eyes, whereupon he promptly put on a show of trying to locate the loud noises coming from his tear ducts. Tofu recalled that the tear ducts made a dreadful, squishing sound when they pumped tears, as though one were being stalked by an evil, gelatinous monster from a popular horror flick. Tofu smiled. By the time the tea was served, Genma had begun to adjust to his new condition, that is until Soun sipped his tea. Genma shivered from head to foot and stared at his old friend as though he were some kind of horrible, movie monster. "Tendo Soun, what is your opinion of Saotome Ranma's manliness?" Tofu asked, nearly choking on the question. He watched as shock registered in everyone's face but Nabiki. The only reaction she gave was a slight cock of the right eyebrow. Soun seemed completely baffled. Nodoka's face began to reflect genuine concern as Kasumi eventually smiled. Genma winced and jammed a finger in each ear, then looked down at his chest. Uh-huh, Tofu thought to himself. When you do that your heartbeat drives you nuts and the sounds from outside get through anyway. "I have no worries about Ranma's manliness, just his indecisiveness," Soun finally said. "Ranma has good reason for some of his indecisiveness, Tendo-san. I think perhaps we should discuss that topic on some later date. What is your opinion of him has a martial artist?" Genma was beginning to look like a middle-aged man trapped in the mosh pit at a metal concert. "Gifted, is the only word that describes him. He has a great deal yet to learn, but he is already better than all but a handful of martial artists that I know about. I do believe however, he should spend a bit more time in meditation and he has neglected serious study in the use of weapons." "Saotome Genma, what is your opinion? "I agree with Tendo-kun for the most part. I do not doubt my son's manliness." Genma said in a soft, tiny voice. He paused to allow what Tofu knew sounded like the echoes in a vast cavern to die down. "Of his skill in the art, I think he will soon be a match for Happosai, if he isn't already. I suspect he sometimes holds back to avoid embarrassing or hurting the master." Much to Tofu's surprise, Soun nodded his head in agreement at Genma's last statement. Genma seemed about to succumb to exhaustion, until he noticed that Nabiki had been watching him out of the corner of one eye and now looked as though she might erupt into hysterics. Genma stared at her with a pleading look. "Tendo Nabiki," Tofu asked, "What is your opinion of Saotome Ranma's manliness?" Nabiki's face held its usual, cool and calm demeanor, but her eyes were shining with pride, "You mean when he's a guy or while he is cursed?" Tofu worked very hard at not appearing to be flustered. "In both his forms, please." "He is very much a guy. He's even worse when he's a girl," Nabiki said with a smirk, "He is especially bad when he is a girl and it is that time of the month." This took Tofu Ono back considerably. How had the boy endured this many problems and remained essentially sane? Anyone else I know would have turned homicidal long before now. Aw, nuts! Tofu thought. Now I've got to explain to him about visiting a gynecologist. That won't be any fun. Do I have any lady gynecologists on my reference list? Only Takahashi-sensei. That means I'll have to go with Ranma across town to see her. The change of scene would do him some good, but it wouldn't do to let him wonder about Tokyo on his own right now. Tofu let out an involuntary sigh. Thankfully at least, Takahashi-san specialized in strange cases. "It's only happened the one time, Doctor," Kasumi said, "A long time ago. When Ko Lon gave him the Whole Body Cat's Tongue." Tofu noted that Genma was beginning to calm down considerably. Must be the aspirin kicking in, he thought. He checked his watch. Yep, it's the aspirin. "Oh, I see! So it is an irregular occurrence. I wonder why he never..." Tofu cut himself off as he eyed Nodoka warily. Her face was as serene as ever, but she was beginning to shake. Time to change the subject, Tofu old buddy! "Thank the kami it's irregular!" Nabiki said, "He was as mean as Uncle Saotome with a hangover while that went on." This proved exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right moment. Everyone in the room, including Nodoka laughed about it. Genma of course, visibly regretted
it all. Tofu worried about what might happen now that Ranma could deliver ki attacks. It would not be too terribly worrisome had he grown up as a girl, but he had not grown up as a girl. Menstruation could easily cause him serious trouble with his self-control. He would have to remember to discuss it with Ranma later. "I happen to know that you make book on Ranma's fights, Nabiki-san," Tofu said quickly, "What is your opinion of him has a martial artist?" "I never take even bets against Ranma in a straight up fight, unless his opponent is someone of extraordinary ability, like Happosai, or someone who is engaging Ranma in a competition he does not have the requisite skills for. Even then, I never take the bet without very good odds in my favor. Since this last trip to China, I am not so sure that I would take even bets against him if he were fighting Pantyhose Tarou." Tofu noted that Soun and Genma both shuddered at the mention of Tarou. "Thank you, Nabiki," Tofu said. "Tendo Kasumi, what is your opinion? "I think he is a very manly man, indeed," Kasumi said, " but I think he could be much, much more than he is. He is not allowed to be everything he could be." "How so, Kasumi-san?" Tofu silently thanked all the kami of Japan for his recent exposure to the confidence drug. Kasumi's presence would have otherwise turned him into a gibbering idiot. "Please excuse me for I mean no offense. I love Ranma dearly. He is like a brother to me, but Ranma is almost too manly. He is fiercely protective of those he loves, but he does not know how to show love. When he tries to encourage someone else, he insults them because he knows nothing of nurturing. He knows next to nothing about manners, " Kasumi said, then paused to let her words sink in. "You forgot to mention that Ranma's promises are as good as gold, Kasumi," Nabiki said. Kasumi nodded her head in agreement, then spoke again. "I think Ranma is like this because he grew up without his mother. We learn most of the things Ranma does not know from our mothers. I had mother's journals and did a lot of reading to learn for myself, and to teach my sisters, but poor Ranma has never had any such help. His life is out of balance. I have never met anyone like him. He is completely masculine despite his curse. He has not been around women enough to know how to talk to one, let alone be like one. Personally, I think it is time for Ranma to begin teaching. I believe that in teaching his art to others, he will find it necessary to face up to his shortcomings and correct them. I think he will learn to show love and how to nurture once he begins to teach, because a great teacher must know how to do those things." Tofu noted that everyone but Genma was staring at Kasumi in shock. He decided to let this go on for a bit. He knew from observation that they seldom gave Kasumi credit for her real genius. The people of Nerima treated her with a good deal more respect than her own family did. She had, over the years, become Nerima's version of Solomon the Wise. Whenever neighbors got into a dispute, especially if it was one man arguing with another over something, it was almost always Kasumi they turned to as an objective arbiter. She specialized in untangling complicated knots with a gentle tug upon a single strand, in making the crooked straight, and in making the obscure, plainly seen. In a way, her family's ignorance of the role she played in Nerima was not surprising to him. When you are very close to something, it is often difficult to see all of it. Stay too close too long, and you will forget everything but what you can see day to day. Genma for his part, had been staring down at the floor. Sometimes gentle little Kasumi's words could tear at a man's soul like thousands of raking claws, and Genma had just heard every little nuance in her voice. Tofu shuddered. He had not meant to be quite so cruel to the elder Saotome, but there was little help for it now. Genma's boulder like frame was beginning to sag visibly. It was Nodoka that broke the silence first. "I am very pleased to hear many of the things everyone has to say about my son, but I still worry about him in one respect. He seems to lack a manly interest in girls." Nodoka's face was as serene and cool as a mountain lake on a calm day, but Tofu could see tears building up in the corners of her eyes. Genma, whose posture was now suggestive of a slumping pile of human goo, stared at Nodoka as though she might be the gelatinous movie monster. He's listening to her tear ducts, Tofu thought. Poor bastard. "You mistake Ranma's innate nobility for a lack of manliness, Auntie
Nodoka!" Kasumi said, "Thanks to the attractiveness of his cursed form, Ranma has a profound understanding about some of the terrible things women endure. "That's true, Kasumi, but have you ever noticed what his nipples do when he looks at Akane in his girl form?" Kasumi gave Nabiki a rather hard stare over this, but much to Tofu's relief, he could see the light of revelation dawn in Nodoka's tear glazed eyes. Finally! Now maybe I can get to the point. This seppuku business must stop immediately, he thought. Time to speak up, Ono! "With the respect that is due to all of you, I have a rather higher opinion of Saotome Ranma. I see a great many different people suffering from a great many different ailments. Ranma is the only person I know capable of enduring what he has endured without breaking. Everyone else I know would have run away, or become insane, or become a criminal. Ranma has done none of these things. Most of his flaws stem from undervaluing things he shouldn't." Tofu paused to see if he still had their attention. Satisfied on this point, he continued. "I do not question Ranma's manliness, I envy it. Courage and self-control such as his are rare, even among the highly trained. However, this is not the main reason for my being here this evening. I have come to you because despite Ranma's prodigious durability, he is human and like all humans, he has his limits. Those limits were reached yesterday, perhaps sometime before yesterday." This earned Tofu a round of concerned stares and everyone looked as though they were about to speak at the same time, so he held his hand up for silence and hurriedly continued with what he had to say. "I treat a great many people who suffer from stress related illnesses. It is a very, very common problem in modern day Japan. Ranma however, has a rather unique, stress related illness. One that no Japanese person that I know of has had in many years." Tofu fell silent and waited for someone to ask, mainly because he wanted to see who felt themselves most qualified to help. As he expected, it was Soun Tendo who spoke up first. "What is so unique about Ranma's problem, Sensei?" Soun asked. "He suffers from combat fatigue." Tofu's highly trained ears told him that every heart in the room but his had just stopped beating for a second. Here it comes, he thought. "Combat fatigue!" The family chorused, all but Nabiki that is. She nodded her head, looking not the least bit surprised. Cool, Tofu thought. She is always so very goddamned cool. She's basically a warrior at heart, but I'll bet she falls to pieces while she is alone in her room at night. I'll have to keep an eye on her. Tofu waited until the flurry of questions, claims, counterclaims, conjectures and accusations faded away before trying to speak. Sometimes it was best to let a group of people vent their emotions. It helped them clear their minds. The noise greatly Genma's rate of liquefaction. "As I said before, I treat a great many patients with stress related problems. Most of them are salarymen, who by the way, are often very manly. Because stress related illnesses are so common, I have studied them a great deal over the past few years. Combat fatigue, though it is a stress related illness, has unique symptoms and unique causes. The primary cause is the victim's constant fear of dying. The other sometimes unrecognized cause is..." "The dread of having to kill others," Nabiki said, interrupting Tofu. "That is correct, Nabiki." Nodoka stared down at the table in morose silence. Tofu could see that she was struggling to hold back a flood of tears. Genma, still slip-sliding into a viscous puddle of utterly boneless humanity, fixed his large, staring eyes upon Nodoka as though she were the one about to change shape. "Fortunately, the cure for Ranma's condition is quite simple. All he needs is rest. A refuge from the source of his stress. What would be better though, would be to completely eliminate the stress or as many sources of it as possible." The silence was now smothering. Tofu watched as Nabiki and Kasumi exchanged quick glances with one another and their father. Genma and Nodoka continued to stare at the table as three pairs of Tendo eyes settled upon Nodoka. Tofu let it go on for a minute or so, but it seemed a century came and went. He could tell that Nodoka was not going to mention the contract she and Genma had made with Ranma, as he had hoped. Probably too embarrassed, Tofu thought. Had it been any other patient with most any other family he would have allowed matters to stand as they were and hoped that the family would have done
what was necessary to help their son, but this was no ordinary family. They were proud and strong and both those traits were hindering them now. Suddenly, a potential, face saving solution occurred to him. "I am curious about something and have long wanted to ask Ranma this question, but I have not wanted to risk embarrassing him. I should like to ask it now and I will apologize if it causes anyone here any discomfort or concern." During another, prolonged silence, Genma some how pulled himself back into something resembling a semi-human shape and responded. "Please ask your question, Sensei. We will do our best to answer it honestly." "Isn't Ranma qualified to carry a sword, by now? I should think he is more than worthy to be a protector of the Saotome Clan by now." No one said anything, but Nodoka nodded. "I am glad to hear that my estimate of him is accurate," Tofu said with his sunniest smile, "I do admire him very much." Tofu realized that he may as well have used a cat 'o nine tails on the Saotomes. He winced inwardly. He really wanted to get the contract away from Nodoka and burn it right here on the table with their assent, but that would be asking too much of them too quickly. He would wait and hope Nodoka would think of it on her own. "I have given Ranma a special sedative. I expect he will wake up just before noon tomorrow. I would imagine that he will be ravenous when he does. Perhaps you should all come to the clinic then and try to cheer him up." Even Nabiki smiled and nodded at this. Tears were running down Nodoka's face in small rivulets, but she smiled and nodded her head vigorously. "Good! I should be getting back to my patients," Tofu said in his most cheerful voice, "Oh, by the way. I have asked Akane to stay at the clinic. One of Ranma's symptoms is a profound fear that something will happen to her. He is much calmer in her presence. I hope you don't mind, Tendo-san." Soun began to blubber, "If it will help Ranma, I have no objections Sensei." Genma's head jerked around to face his best friend as he stared at Soun in wide eyed horror. Good, Tofu thought. You need to listen to the tears you cause, Genma Saotome. Perhaps after tonight, you will become a little more human. Tofu bowed, then said, "I must be going. I thank you all for your attention and please forgive my intrusion." Everyone began to protest that he had not intruded and began asking him to stay for dinner as he stood up. Out of the corner of his eye, Tofu caught the rapt admiration in Kasumi's eyes and felt his self-control begin to slip. He squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. Why, oh why can't I get a grip on this? Fortunately for him, the ever patient Kasumi seemed to understand. "Nabiki, would you see the Doctor to the door for me? I need to check on some things in the kitchen." "Sure, Sis," Nabiki said cheerily, "Would you help carry some things to the clinic for Ranma and Akane, Sensei?" Tofu was relieved at this. He wanted to speak with Nabiki before she spoke with Ranma, anyway. Once outside the gates, Nabiki's curiosity got the best of her. Her nimble mind had inferred a great deal, but that only whetted her appetite for more facts to chew on. She was not impelled by her intellect alone. Something had touched her earlier in the day just before Tofu had come to the nurse's station. She knew in the core of her soul that it had been Ranma, but she could not understand how it had happened. She had done everything she could think of to kill the feelings that would make such a thing possible. Why were they surfacing again? Why now? "How bad off is Ranma, Ono-sensei?" She asked as she took Tofu's right arm. Tofu looked at Nabiki and raised an eyebrow before answering. "Well, he hasn't got a case of the thousand-yard stares just yet, but it could happen without warning. Given Ranma's abilities, the results could be tragic." "Thousand-yard stares?" The lower edge of the sun, now a huge, flaming red ball touched the distant rooftops. "A condition diagnosed by every major combatant during WWII. It is hard to describe, but once you've seen the pictures of someone afflicted with it you can never forget. A man in that condition is deadly dangerous to everyone around him, even his friends and allies. The technical term for it is "hyper-arousal." Of the two terms, it is the more descriptive of the two without showing a picture of a victim." "In other words, Ranma is ticking away like a bomb." "More like an old fashioned bomb. The kind with a lit fuse. The "bomb" if you will, is easily defused by giving him some time away from the source of stress. Without that rest, things could go tragically
wrong--and with almost no more warning than we have now. A sudden threat of any kind, real or imagined by the victim, will trigger the worst of its symptoms. It's not too terribly different from the Nekok-en really, except that Ranma would be able to use his intellect better." Nabiki shivered at the thought of a Neko-Ranma gifted with intelligence and some of his more advanced techniques. The immediate destruction of several people she knew would be a foregone conclusion. "Do you think he might slip into the Nekoken without warning?" "No, this would be different. Quoting a military officer's manual on the subject, the fact is that overstressed human beings with loaded weapons are inherently dangerous. Ranma, thanks to his extensive training, is a loaded weapon in his own right. Unfortunately, he is also overstressed. Have you read any of the old legends about the berserkers or the amoks?" Nabiki nodded. "I am reasonably sure those were sufferers of combat fatigue. The Nekoken training was a deliberate attempt to create a berserk. It was abandoned because the majority of the trainees became listless masses of quivering nerves. Combat fatigue is much the same. The majority simply become listless wrecks, but Ranma's Nekoken is a kind of hyper- arousal state. I don't want to take any chances with his combat fatigue. He will most likely develop a classic hyper- arousal state. "How long have you been watching this develop, Ono- sensei?" "I've been worried about him since I learned of his Nekko-ken training. The effects of psychological stress are cumulative. The signs of stress related trouble have become a little worse with every visit he has made to the clinic. I became seriously worried about it just before this recent trip to China," Tofu said. "Why didn't you say something about it months ago then?" "Because I was not certain of my diagnosis and I was fairly sure that neither of Ranma's parents would listen." "You've got a point, Doc. I'm certain Panda-man would have scoffed at you, especially if you had said anything in front of Aunt Nodoka. I'm pretty sure Daddy would have listened though." "Perhaps I made a mistake then," Tofu said, sounding contrite. "No, I don't think you can call it a mistake. You made the best call you could based on what you knew at the time. What do you need me to do?" "I want you to make your sister's life a little easier," Tofu said with a smile, "because I happen to know it is well within your ability to do so." Nabiki smirked at him. "Oh, you think making things easier for Ranma would make Akane's life easier, right?" Tofu nodded his head. "What does Ranma want with me?" "Anything I might tell you at this point would be a guess, and I'm sure your guesses would be much better than mine." "I'll do everything I can do for Akane, Ono-san. Much of what I've done so far has been to..." "You needn't explain, Nabiki-chan. I know much about your family from my other patients. The elderly ones who have lived here for a long time love to tell stories. You'd be surprised how many comment on how much like your mother you are." Nabiki felt the sting of tears at the back of her eyes, but maintained her composure. She was not surprised by this news. Since she had begun loaning money to the skilled labor working in the shops and small factories on Forges Street, she had heard that statement more than once. Apparently, her mother could be a certifiable bitch when it came to collecting debts. On the other hand, she also very often heard how much like Kasumi her mother had been. It all depended on who was telling the tale. Several even mentioned how much like Akane her mother could be from time to time, usually while rubbing some part of their anatomy in memory. The thought of it made Nabiki smile. "The stories about how nice my mom was I can understand," Nabiki said, "What I have never understood is the high regard so many have for my Dad and Saotome-san." Tofu smiled at her, almost laughing, "Sometimes one sort of demon is very much preferable to another sort." "Even if the demons in question are Fiends of the Happosai?" "Especially, if they are friends of Happosai." Tofu laughed. "Ono-sensei?" "Yes, Nabiki-san?" "Can Ranma ever be cured of the Nekko-ken?" "I don't know for sure. Certainly he cannot be cured without a lot of therapy and unfortunately, the normal course of treatment for such phobias is very risky in his case." Nabiki stopped walking forcing Tofu to pause with her. Somewhere in the distance, a nightingale sang. A gentle breeze rustled their hair. "Why?" "Because the usual method of treatment is
to expose the victim to his or her fears until they become desensitized. In Ranma's case, he enters a special kind of hyper-arousal state that is dangerous to him and everyone around him. It would not be so bad were it not for his ability to use his ki so effectively." "So, as Ranma becomes a better martial artist, the more dangerous his Nekoken becomes." "It can't get much more dangerous than it is now," Tofu said with as shrug as he led Nabiki towards the clinic, "Everything has its limits, but a Ranma with the thousand yard stares would be much, much worse. In his cat state, he can be distracted. In a purely hyper-arousal state with his intellect fairly intact, distraction will not work. He would tend to destroy anything that moves without distinguishing between friend or foe. Everything becomes a target to men in that state." "How come this has not been more of a problem in the past?" "In times of war it is very often a problem, but it is seldom reported. Even so, cases like Ranma's are pretty rare. Only about one case of combat fatigue in two-hundred manifests these symptoms, and most of them die in combat shortly thereafter." "He is like this because of his parents," Nabiki said, the words fighting their way past the lump in her throat, "Isn't he?" "You may well be right. Current research suggests that upbringing and an unstable home life are far more important than individual personalities as predictors of who will, or will not suffer from this malady. Almost all of them led lives of abuse, or harsh discipline or simply had home lives bereft of love and nurturing during early childhood." "How likely is Ranma to become abusive of his own family?" "He may become quite abusive of his father in the near term, but if you are asking about a wife or children, I'd say the probability is quite low in Ranma's case." A street light came on overhead as they walked beneath it. "Why?" "What irritates Akane about him the most?" "He doesn't take her training seriously enough," Nabiki said, then stopped in front of the clinic door and stared at Tofu. "He's scared to death he might hurt her!" Tofu smiled. "If he trains her, he will hurt her. It is part of the process. Ranma cannot bring himself to do her any harm, even though she very much wants and needs the training." Tofu unlocked the door and the two of them went inside. Akane was still sitting in the chair next to Ranma's bed, leaning forward to use the edge of the bed as a pillow and clutching Ranma's left hand with both of her own. He was awake. "Doc?" "Yes, Ranma?" "You got a cot or somethin' for her?" Tofu nodded his head. "Would you mind setting it up? She's cutting the circulation off in my hand." "I'll get it," Nabiki said, "Hall closet, right?" Tofu nodded yes, then noticed that Akane's teacup was still full and saw the pieces of Ranma's cup lying on the floor. Nabiki went to get the cot. "Ranma, did Akane drink anything from your cup?" "No, Doc. Why?" "You didn't see her touch the inside of it or anything did you?" Ranma thought for a minute before answering. "Not that I saw. I went to sleep for a while after drinking the tea. Why? What's wrong?" "Well the medicine in your cup is pretty potent and it can be absorbed through the skin." Ranma looked alarmed. "Will it hurt her?" "No, but she may behave differently for a day or two." "Doc, I uh...I uh...kissed her right after I drank the tea." Tofu stared at Ranma for a moment then burst out laughing. "What's so damned funny?" Ranma asked with a little heat in his voice, "Is she going to be all right?" Tofu composed himself then answered. "She'll be fine, Ranma. She is going to be very cheerful and sweet for the next couple of days, but it won't hurt her. It's my fault anyway. I should have anticipated something like this." Ranma blinked thoughtfully for a moment. "Will it improve her cooking?" "I can't say for sure. What's wrong with her cooking?" Ranma looked down at Akane with a bemused look, mixed with humor and affection. He reached out and stroked her hair with his right hand. "It's like everything else she does, Doc. She tries too damned hard." "Well, in that case, the drug might help a little." Ranma's face lit up with a huge grin. Nabiki came in and set up the cot for Akane. Tofu had to use a pressure point to loosen her grip on Ranma's hand, then he and Nabiki tucked her in. "How's the hand, Ranma?" "Starting to tingle. It'll be fine." "I've got to go catch up on some paperwork, Nabiki- san," Tofu said, "Don't keep him up too long." Nabiki smiled at Tofu as he left, then turned to Ranma. Her knees became unsteady as the memory of all those nights she had fought off the urge to sneak
into Ranma's bed came rushing back in an unanticipated flood. You can't have him, Nabiki! She silently admonished herself, he belongs to Akane. You turned down your chance, fair and square. Besides, you went to great lengths to make sure he wouldn't want anything to do with you. Working hard to wrap herself in that cloak of icy composure she kept constantly at the ready, Nabiki managed to speak without swallowing first. "So, what did you need to see me about, Saotome?" Ranma's stare was angry but affectionate. Nabiki forced a smile away from her lips. Affection from Ranma was nearly irresistable. "What will you charge me to help Akane and me keep up with our school work?" Nabiki did not actually run the school; Principle Kuno's secretary ran it as best she could with the senior Kuno's interference and much help from Nabiki. She would not even have to call in a favor to help Ranma and Akane out. "No charge for that one, Ranma. What else?" "I need your help dealing with Kodachi." "What do you want me to do?" "Whatever it takes. She showed up at Akane's wedding wearing a...wearing..." Ranma was so angry he could not continue. "Okay, Ranma," Nabiki said as her eyes went flat, "Consider her ass fried." "Freebie, right?" Nabiki nodded. "She insulted my little sister! She suffers; her brother picks up the tab." "She belongs in a nut ward, you know." "When I'm through with her, she'll have herself committed. Don't worry, Saotome. I know what you are after. Now then, who else?" "This one's dangerous, so I want you to think about first. Okay?" "Who?" "I need you to put a tail on Xian Pu, around the clock if you can swing it." "Around the clock might be a little hard to do," Nabiki stopped speaking for a second as her face reflected sudden horror. "You think she's going to go after Akane! Don't you?" Ranma nodded grimly. "I think we can just about count on it." The fires of hell suddenly flared in Nabiki Tendo's eyes. Careful Nabiki! The more objective side of her mind warned her. Both of you could easily be wrong. But what if he's right? She questioned it. Xian Pu's deadly! "Don't get carried away, Nabiki," Ranma said, "I've got a plan for dealing with this, but I need your help covering all the bases." "What do you have in mind?" Nabiki's voice was grim. Better to be cautious for the time being, she thought to herself. Xian Pu might be plotting murder and she might not. If we prepare and she does nothing fine. If she does, we make sure she can never try it again. "I'm going to be in here for at least another week, so I plan on keeping Akane here until Doc Tofu says I can go home. After that, we can never leave her alone anywhere she goes, except around the house, got it?" "Xian Pu may get desperate and kill Akane and anyone else she thinks might be potential witnesses, Ranma." "No she won't." "How do you know that for sure, Ranma. This is my little sister's life we are talking about here." "She won't because we are going to give her another option that's easier. We'll let her think we aren't guarding Akane while she's in her room at night." "Umisen-ken?" Nabiki asked. He's finally learning to think ahead a little! she thought to herself. Damn! I should have taken him when I had the chance. He's going to turn out to be a first rate partner. Ranma nodded. "You aren't going to tell Akane, are you?" "It's a case of what she knows might kill her, Nabiki. Akane is like an open book, especially if she's angry about something." Nabiki regarded him with sly eyes for a moment. What I wouldn't give to have you in my room all night, Ranma! She thought. She tried, but failed to suppress a shiver of delight. Akane is such an idiot! Well, they're both idiots, but they are getting better and he is positively edible. Better focus on business, girl. "I don't think it makes sense to put a tail on Xian Pu until you two are out of here," Nabiki said aloud. "You might be right about that Big Sister, but I would feel better knowing where she is and what she is up to." Now what would I prefer Xian Pu to be up to about now, Nabiki asked herself. Sleeping would be nice. She's a very nice girl while she's asleep. "Oh, haven't you heard? The Nekohanten has the best ramen in Nerima!" Nabiki said in a cheerful voice, "Their take out is even better than what they serve at their tables!" Ranma grinned, causing Nabiki to gasp at him. It was an unpleasant sight. This was a side of Ranma she did not know existed. "You are my kind of evil, Nabiki." Nabiki smiled back at Ranma and thought, No you aren't, Ranma. You like this idea because you only inflict pain to teach a lesson. I just like the idea of the bitch falling
down dead tired at the end of a long day. "What about the rest of them, Saotome?" "The rest of them belong to me," Ranma said in a voice so cold it made Nabiki shudder. It was not just his voice of course. The room temperature dropped precipitously. The air conditioning came on and Nabiki realized that it was producing warm, not cold air. "Ranma?" Tofu called from another part of the clinic. "Sorry, Doc!" The air in the room began to warm up as the central air unit quickly began to catch up with Ranma. Nabiki's eyes widened with the realization of what had just happened. "Ranma did you just...?" "Yeah, it was me," Ranma said with an irritable wave of the hand, "I didn't meant to. I'll have it under control in a couple of days. Don't let it bother you none." Nabiki wanted very badly to say she was sorry, but how? There was so much for her to apologize about, and there was no way she dared explain why she had been so mean to him all this time. She hated to think what he might do if she told him the truth. I've been mean to you because I wanted to jump your bones, Ranma. I was afraid I might fall in love with you. I was afraid I might try to take you away from Akane. I wanted to make sure you were never attracted to me. Ranma broke her out of her reverie by touching her arm. "Big Sister?" "Yes, Ranma-kun?" "No picture sales for twomonths." Nabiki clamped down hard on the laughter that rose in her throat. If only you knew how much I enjoyed those pictures myself, she thought. "You're going to let me off that easy?" Nabiki asked aloud. "I figure Akane will take care of you in her own way." "Actually, it's Kasumi that has me worried." Ranma managed to give her a bleak look, while somehow still getting across a modicum of sympathy. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. Nabiki smiled at him, then stood up by the bed and bent over so that she could whisper in his ear. "I'm sorry, Ranma-kun." "You don't owe me an apology, Big Sister. You should apologize to Akane." Nabiki kissed his ear, then his cheek, then his lips, taking great delight in the reaction she got from Ranma. She slid the palm of her hand over the unbandaged parts of his muscular chest. Ranma shivered. I thought so, Soatome! Nabiki said silently to herself. I do turn you on a little. "I'm not apologizing to you for the wedding, Ranma- darling. I'm apologizing for what I didn't do when you first came into our home." Ranma's eyes grew wide with shock. "It's too late now," Nabiki said with sigh as she straightened up and stretched. Ranma vigorously nodded his head in agreement, then winced at the eye-watering pain the motion caused. "I guess I'll just have to let Akane keep you." Ranma's very wide open eyes became firmly fixed upon the ceiling. "Have I ever told you how handsome you are when you're embarrassed?" Nabiki asked. Ranma, to her great delight, became even more flustered. She brushed his bangs away from his eyes with one hand, causing him to look her in the face. Nabiki did not mind. She wanted to show him that he really was loved. "Boy! I never had a chance, did I?" Ranma asked. Nabiki shook her head and smiled. "Never did. Never will, Saotome. You are going to marry a Tendo," she said as she continued to play with his bangs. "I got lot's of stuff to do first." "I know, Ranma," Nabiki said, pausing to swallow back a knot in her throat, "You both do. Just don't take too long, okay?" Tears began to swim around the edges of Ranma's eyes. He nodded his head. "Nabiki I..." "Doc Tofu says you need to rest, so rest now. I'll go get Operation Rose Garden underway." "What about Xian Pu, got a project name for her?" "Nope. I'm gonna cover it all under one allocation for expenditure," Nabiki said with one of her most predatory of smiles, "Get some sleep, Little Brother." Nabiki quit playing with Ranma's bangs and left. He let out a sigh and thanked all the kami of Japan for Akane Tendo. Then as an afterthought, he said a prayer for whoever it was that Nabiki wouild eventually choose for a husband. The poor sod would need divine intervention more than any other man who had ever lived. It began to dawn on him then that Akane's sisters regarded him as family. As he basked in this new found warmth, sleep crept up on him quietly and took him without a struggle. A few moments later, Nabiki came back into the room and cleaned up the remains of Ranma's shattered teacup. Rather than throw the shards away, she tipped them into a resealable, plastic bag. Nabiki held the bag up so that she could see the pieces in the dim lighting and smiled. "Nothing like a fire to fight a fire with," she whispered to herself. Nabiki Tendo
rushed home. She needed some sleep for tomorrow would be one of the busiest she had endured in a long time. She smiled at the prospect of it. She loved challenges. ---------- - Nerima is subject to having a strange day on any given day of the week, and usually does have. However, the strangest days in Nerima usually occur between Friday and Monday as may be logically expected, because even the denizens of Nerima must strive to earn a living. The district's strangeness index tends to go up on the weekends when the majority of Nerimians have a little more time on their hands that what is entirely healthy for them. Such circumstance do not however, prevent Nerima from having a very peculiar day arise during the week. This particular Tuesday was one of those, not so rare exceptions. Ko Lon suspected that the incoming tsunami of chaos had actually begun to build up on Sunday, the day of Tendo's attempt to wed his daughter to her son-in-law. She also suspected that Xian Pu had something to do with germinating the nascent, strange attractor because she had dressed in her finest clothes and was absent for most of that day. By the time Ko Lon had gotten to the Tendo dojo, things had already taken their predictable course. Questioning Xian Pu on the details had proven fruitless. Late that Sunday evening, something woke Ko Lon up. This was not unusual in and of itself. Ko Lon had been elderly for some three-hundred years and she, like many of the elderly, needed little in the way of sleep, often had trouble going to sleep, and was easily wakened. What was so unusual was the nature of the event which disturbed her sleep. It was a very peculiar surge of ki. The event was nearby but faint. Unlike most faint surges of ki, this one was steady, not staccato and it did not taper off. It stopped abruptly without a trailing tingle. She had felt it again on Monday evening while in the bath and it had wakened her again shortly after going to bed on Monday night. Still, such a surge was not in and of itself a frightening thing. Nerima had more than its fair share of accomplished martial artists. Ko Lon remembered experiencing a similar event in her early youth. No, what had been frightening was the voice she heard in the wee hours of this Tuesday morning. It had made her sit up in bed with a start. It had been Most Revered Grandmother using her ki voice, speaking to Ko Lon from far off Qing Hai. "Beware the Cold Dragon, Ko Lon," Ancient Mother had said. The sheer weight of centuries had made the old woman's voice dry and dusty. Hearing the message delivered in muffled tones, late at night, born by a distant person's ki made Ko Lon feel as though someone had spoken to her from the grave. Ko Lon had at first thought she had simply heard Revered Grandmother's voice in a dream, but she knew better after a mere second's worth of thought. No, Revered Grandmother's ki signature was unmistakable. The voice had not been a product of her sleep ridden imagination. Ko Lon understood down to her very bones the terrible toll sending a message in such a fashion took on Revered Grandmother's frail body. She herself had been bedridden for two days the last time she had accomplished such a feat, and Revered Grandmother was twice Ko Lon's age. If Revered Grandmother thought the matter important enough to run such a terrible risk to her own health, then something important and probably very dangerous was afoot. Ko Lon immediately consulted the ancient texts she had brought with her from China. After three hours of searching she found the reference she needed. It had been written in a text so old that Ko Lon found it difficult to follow. Another hour of searching produced a list of names. Names of those that had been given the gift of the Cold Dragon. Much to Ko Lon's surprise, two of those names were from her own family line, but from long, long ago. There had been talk at one time of breeding a family line for this particular gift, but nothing came of it. The ancient text was clear on why those efforts would fail, "The Cold Dragon gifts only those who winnow the coals of hell and live." More reading warned of the signs and portents manifest when the Cold Dragon woke. Ko Lon shuddered. There was no longer any doubt in her mind about what she had felt for the past two days, nor was there much doubt in her mind as to who had received the Cold Dragon's gift. She carefully put the tattered old scroll away, then looked at herself in the mirror. She looked herself in the eye and considered all that she had learned, all her accomplishments, all her failures, her
strengths and her shortcomings, then she wept. She wept for Ranma Saotome. He was beyond her help. She could not help him and she knew of no one who could. So she prayed to the kami and asked them to show the boy a little mercy. By the time she finished praying it was time to begin work on a fresh batch of chicken stock. The only thing worse than owning a restaurant is owning a dairy. Actually, no one owns either sort of establishment. Those establishments own the people holding their titles. One either enjoyed the work involved in running a restaurant, or got out of the business. At nine in the morning Cologne began to get a feel for just how strange an attractor had hit town. She had just finished putting the vegetables into the soup, Mu Suu had just finished washing the last of the dishes and Xian Pu was gratefully taking a break having just finished with the floors and tables when the telephone rang. "Hello?" Cologne said into the infernal device. "Yes, we do deliver takeout. Where and when, please?" Cologne scribbled down the order and hung up the telephone. "Xian Pu?" Cologne said. "Yes, Great-grandmother?" "I want you to..." She was cut off by another ring of the telephone. "Nekohanten, may I help you?" "Yes, of course! Where and when would you like it delivered?" "What's that? Oh, certainly we can have there right on time. We do that all the time. Yes, of course! No problem. Bye, bye!" "Xian Pu I want you to..." The telephone rang. "Nekohanten, may I help you?" "I see. Where and when would you like it delivered?" Cologne wrote down the specifics for the third takeout order of the day. It was long an complicated. "Xian Pu I need you to..." The telephone rang. "Answer this damned thing so I can cook!" Ko Lon said in a near howl of fury, "Mu Suu!" "Yes, Honored Elder!" Mu Suu said, looking obeisant with every fiber of his being. "Check stock!" Ko Lon said, sounding for all the world like a seasoned officer extricating her troops from an ambush, "Have you fixed the tire on your bicycle yet?" "Not yet, Honored Elder," Mu Suu said as he dove down into the basement storage room. "Hurry every chance you get! We are in for a busy day." The telephone rang. "Nekohanten! What Xian Pu do to you today?" "We're low on noodles and there isn't a shrimp in sight!" "What about pork?" "Sure, I deliver plenty!" "Okay on pork. Low on chicken though!" "What you mean? Xian Pu not desert! Xian Pu delivery person!" "Go fix that tire then get in here and take care of that bloody ring-a-ling thing!" "Where that is? No way! Xian Pu no deliver that place! Is love hotel!" Xian Pu was not slow witted and she could do a perfectly good job of receiving an order while getting it right, but her telephone presence sometimes invited delay. It was amusing on slow days, but this was not a slow day. "How are we on vegetables, Mu Suu?" "Is okay. Xian Pu deliver there, but you no behave you be sorry!" "Tons, still!" The telephone rang again before Xian Pu could remove her hand from the headset. "I'll go fix the tire now," Mu Suu said, emerging from the storeroom. "Nekohanten! What Xian Pu do to you today?" "Never mind the bicycle, Mu Suu! Just get your ass in here and take care of this damned, ring-a-ling-a-thing!" "Sure! Xian Pu deliver anytime, anywhere!" Xian Pu said into the phone, followed by her chirping giggle. "Whipped cream? What that for?" ---------- - The first weak rays of dawn on Tuesday morning lit a forlorn looking Genma Saotome sitting upon the tall rock on the north end of Soun Tendo's koi pond. He had gotten up because it had become an irresistible habit. The trouble was, his son was not around for him to spar with. Ranma had been gone before of course, but this was different. Something had changed. Something Genma Saotome was having a hard time getting a grip on. His hopes of understanding were obliterated by the shrieking attack of someone twice Ranma's size and age. It was Soun Tendo. Genma countered effectively, but lost his balance, fell from his perch and onto the wet grass of Tendo's lawn. "Caught you napping, eh Saotome?" "More like preoccupied, Tendo," Genma replied with a grin, then went after his old friend as though the two of them were still in their twenties. Both men laughed. Neither was a pushover and both knew the other quite well. The surprises were over. Well, not quite over. After twenty minutes or so, Kasumi called them to breakfast. The two men were so engrossed in their drill that Kasumi's call caused them to miss their timing and fall as a single great mass into the pond. "Damn, that's cold!" Soun groused. "Rrrr!" Genma agreed. After breakfast they engaged in something a bit more
sensible for two men their age, shogi. For a long time, nothing but the clacking of tiles could be heard from either man until Genma finally broke their relative silence. "We have a problem, Tendo-kun." "Think so, Saotome?" "Mmm, Kasumi is right about Ranma, you know. It's time for him to begin teaching, rather than just sparring." "I agree. It is time." Soun said, allowing his friend to carry the conversation forward, even though he knew full well what the problem was and that it was indeed a serious problem. "That means we must ask the Master to license the boy to teach." Soun sighed in exasperation. He knew this day would come, and had been dreading it. Happosai would without doubt make things as difficult as possible, if for no other reason than simple perversity. "You know, Genma-kun, he is going to make our lives hell over this." "It'll be worth it, Tendo." "Oh, I quite agree. When do we broach the subject with the Master?" "I was thinking perhaps this afternoon before he goes off on his usual rounds." "All right. Don't you think we ought to be getting ready?" "Getting ready for what? I know the Master will do something, but I'm damned if I can figure out what it might be." "Me either. He is so unpredictable, the Master is." "That's part of his genius, Tendo-kun." "My guess is that he will place most of the burden on the boy, Genmakun." "No doubt, but he'll want something from us as well." An uncomfortable silence ensued wherein the shogi match was temporarily forgotten and both men lapsed into a reverie of difficult times gone by. "Oh, good grief Saotome!" Soun Tendo, said after several minutes had passed. The two men stared across the shogi board at one another in wide-eyed horror. "He's going to try to top the test he gave us!" They chorused. "Ranma is twice the artist we were at that age, Saotome!" "I know, Tendo!" "And he's never done anything but antagonize the Master." "I know, Tendo!" "And both of them are probably going to take quite a bit of it out on us!" "I know, Tendo!" "It's fate, Saotome!" "I know, Tendo." "One doesn't cry about," Tendo paused to sniffle, "fate, Saotome." "I know, Tendo." "One--" Soun again paused to sniffle. "I know, Tendo!" "Deals with it--boo-hoo-wah-ha-ha-ha!" They said in chorus. For once, Genma Saotome joined his oldest and best friend in a good cry. It did relieve a little of their tension, but neither of them felt that much better after it was over. Fate still hung heavily in the air above their heads. No one could rightfully teach a particular school of the martial arts without being licensed by that school's founding master. Each master had his own way of determining a disciple's worthiness as a teacher. Obtaining a license to teach almost always entailed an exercise in high risk, during a prolonged struggle, followed by a day-long critique of one's technique by the founding master. The intensity of these ordeals tended to vary with the founding master's imagination. Happosai, had more imagination than most founding masters and had a penchant for killing more than one bird with a single Soun--er--stone. Kasumi listened to her father and Ojisan from the kitchen with her usual, quiet poise. Tea seemed to be in immediate order, so she put a kettle of water on the stove and turned the heat up high. She got lucky. The water had begun to boil, just as the tears in the engawa began dying down to the level of sniffles and loud nose blowing. She carried in a tray and served the two men tea, then hurried up to her room. She dug a cell phone with a red case out of the top drawer of her dresser and quickly dialed the emergency number Nabiki had given her a few months previously. It was answered almost immediately. "What's the matter, Kasumi?" Nabiki asked in a tense voice. "Father and Mr. Saotome are going to ask Grandfather Happosai to license Ranma to teach this afternoon." "Oh, no!" Nabiki said. "How are we on first aid supplies?" "Oh we have all the small things we need, but we could use one or two more large, leg splints...and...Oh! I think we had better get some hardware cloth and plaster of Paris in case Uncle Saotome gets hurt in his panda form." "Okay. I'll see to it the stuff gets delivered by nightfall. We are going to have to be careful with the money, Kasumi. Only the kami know how much bail this is going to cost." "We may not need it all right of way, Nabiki," Kasumi said brightly, "The Master will probably wait until Ranma is out of the clinic." "I hope you're right, Big Sister," Nabiki said, sounding somewhat relieved, "but I think it would probably be a good idea to stock up on
first aid supplies today." "Oh, I agree with you there," Kasumi said, "It never hurts for _us_ to be prepared." "Okay, Sis," Nabiki said, "I gotta go. I have to come with a way to make some money fast over the next two weeks. There is no way we are going to get through this without having to bail somebody out of jail." "Do you really think it will be that bad, Nabiki?" "Come on, Kasumi! You know Happosai as well as I do. What sort of test do you think he'll throw at Ranma?" "Oh, my!" "See?" "It is going to be bad, isn't it?" "Love ya, Sis. Gotta go, bye!" Kasumi heard the phone click as Nabiki broke the connection. She placed the cellular phone back in its hiding place and got busy making preparations, humming as she went. "Oh, dear! I forgot to tell Nabiki about the fire extinguishers! I think two of them are out of date. I had better check them." ---------- - Ranma Saotome woke much earlier than expected. Much to his relief, his vision was quite a bit clearer and he found that if he moved quite slowly, he could move his head without becoming nauseated. It still made his head hurt, but at least he could now look at something besides the ceiling. The first thing he wanted to look at was Akane. He had to make sure she was all right. Much to his relief, she was still in the room on her cot and snoring. He found the snoring to be especially reassuring. He could not get close enough to her to tell if she was okay without it. Thus reassured, he began to consider what his next move should be. "Food!" The echoing, female voice in his head told him. "Right now! Our entire body is one, great big, _empty_ stomach." "Boy! You got that right!" Ranma whispered to his inner voice. "I beg your pardon? You are the guy in this operation, remember?" The echoing, female voice in his head asked. "Hey! You're really a guy too, you know." "You'd like to think so, wouldn't you femboy?" "Aw geez! Why are you buggin' me this early in the morning?" "For the same reason Socrates goaded the Athenians, Saotome!" The voice said, sounding smug. "You need it." "Didn't they make that guy drink poison?" "Actually, he drank it just to spite 'em. The Athenians expected him to just leave town." "And I guess you are going to be just as bad?" "Worse! I ain't stupid enough to drink poison on purpose, even if it would piss you off, and I can't leave." "So how come I never heard from you before yesterday?" "'Hey! You been so busy screwing up, I haven't been able to get your attention." "Screwin' up? Whadda-ya mean screwing up?" "You screw up because you just drift, Saotome. You aren't headed anywhere." Ranma paused to think about this for a minute. It was true. He had allowed everyone else set the rules and conditions of his existence. He could not think of a retort, so said nothing back to the voice. "Ooh, hit a nerve, didn't I?" The voice taunted. "Yeah, you did." "So what are you going to do while your stuck in here?" "Not much to do but be bored, I guess." "Stupid!" "Huh?" "You've got schoolwork you could be takin' care of." "Like I said, nothin' to do but be bored." "Yeah? Well why dontcha let me take care of it for you?" "Hey, wait a minute! Aren't we really the same person?" "Yeah, but I'm curious and you ain't. I'll study and you nap. You're real good at napping." "Oh, hah-hah!" "Well, you are! What are we going to do about Akane?" "We are going to marry her. Didn't we settle that already." "No, stupid! About her and The Art. Isn't she about ready for some serious training?" "Yeah, but I don't want to hand her off to the old man. His idea of training girls is to run them out of the school as quickly as possible. That won't do her any good. Her dad won't teach her anymore 'cause he can't figure out how to handle her." "So we'll teach her then." "Can't." "Huh? Why not?" "We haven't been licensed to teach the Anything Goes School, that's why. The only one that can license us is Happosai." "Aw, geez! I had forgotten about that. Wait, I know! Pretend to be sparring with her!" "Come on! You know that won't work. There are about a dozen kata she needs to learn and her breathing is atrocious. Hell, if I were to just get her to straighten out her breathing, she could probably beat Ryoga in a fair fight." "She needs to learn how to stay relaxed, too. She gets so uptight it's pitiful." "Yeah, she does. She's always tryin' too hard." "So? Tell Happosai you're ready to teach and you want your license." "I can't tell him that! Dad has to be the one to recommend me. You know the rules." "Hmm, we've got a problem there too, don't we?" "Yeah." "Hey, I know! Get her dad to talk to
Happosai." "Hmm, that might work. I'll do it! She's gotta learn some real serious stuff, fast. I can't be around her every minute of every day. That'd drive all three of us nuts." Akane sneezed in her sleep. "You could try letting me be around her once in a while." "Nah! Your into all that mushy stuff." "So? Girls like mushy stuff." "Yeah, I know." Ranma took a deep breath and held it as he considered his alter-ego's proposition. "Okay, we'll try it. But don't let things get out of hand and don't do nothin' stupid, okay?" "Don't worry, Saotome. I won't let things get out of hand. I know more about the consequences of that than most guys do, right?" "Yeah, I guess I can trust you. You just remember who and what she is, okay?" "Hey, no problem! What is it about her anyway? I mean she can't cook. She's got a temper that won't quit and..." "She's beautiful and she's got a spirit that won't quit. I worry about her all the time. I'm always afraid she'll bite off more than she can chew." "Hey, Saotome. Have you ever noticed that she never hits girls, besides us I mean?" "Oh, sure she hits girls! She spars with 'em." "NO! I mean, do you remember Akane ever just hauling off and socking some bitch in crying need of a good walloping?" Ranma blinked as he stared at his sleeping fiance. She sneezed again, then wriggled. "She's really cute when she does that, you know?" Ranma's alter-ego said. Akane sneezed again. "Careful!" Ranma said to his inner voice, "We're gonna wake her up." "Well do you?" "I don't know. I can't remember her ever just hitting a girl, or fighting one outside of a prearranged match. When she's mad, she almost always takes it out on us." "I'll bet it's her training." "Surely not." "Think about it, Saotome. You are raising three little girls. You don't want 'em goin' around bruised and marked up all the time, so what do you teach 'em?" "Oh, man!" "It's gettin' hot in here!" "You got that right. We're startin' to soak the sheets with sweat." Akane stretched, then opened her eyes. "Ranma?" She asked as she sat up on the edge of the cot. "I'm still here, Akane." "Are you all right? Why is it so hot in here?" "Other than being hot and starving, I'm fine." Akane gave him her cutest smile, the one that always weakened him at the knees, as she walked over to his bed. "Good grief, Ranma! You are giving off heat like a stove with the broiler on." "Akane, I gotta have somethin' to eat." Ranma was beginning to shake uncontrollably. "Let me see if there is something cold to drink in Tofu's refrigerator." "Don't leave the building!" Ranma called to her departing back. "I won't." "And check the air conditioner while you are in there!" Akane stuck her had back through the doorway. "Ranma, don't yell like that! This is a clinic." "What does it matter? We're the only ones here!" "It's a clinic. Don't get into the habit of yelling!" Akane shouted. "I won't if you won't!" Ranma shouted back, then convulsed as his stomach began growling like a refuse grinder swallowing a large rock. "I'll be right back, Ranma. Don't go away." Ranma gave her a hard stare with crossed eyes. Akane was still staring into the open refrigerator when Dr. Ono came in bearing a flat of tofu. "Good morning, Akane," Tofu said as he put the flat down on the lab bench. "Are you hungry yet?" "A little, but Ranma is starving and he's running really high temperature." "Did you take it?" "Huh? No, there wasn't any need, Dr. Tofu. You can feel the heat coming off of him from across the room." "Oh, dear!" Tofu exclaimed. "That's why it is so hot in here. I thought I had left the heater on. Grab that large bottle of papaya juice and bring it down to his room. We need to get some food into him." Tofu picked up the heavy flat laden with bean curd and hurried down the hall, Akane close on his heels. "I thought you were supposed to starve a fever," Akane said. "That's just an old wive's tale and Ranma doesn't have a fever." By the time they re-entered Ranma's room, he had gotten control of his convulsions. "Good morning, Ranma!" Tofu said, forcing some cheerfulness into his voice. "Good mor...Food!" "Take it as slow as you can, Ranma," Tofu cautioned. "Mrrmkay!" Ranma noised as he nodded his head and stuffed another block of bean curd into his mouth. "Would you like something to drink, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Mrrminaminnit," Ranma said around what must have been a quarter pound of tofu. "Better slow down and have a little juice, Ranma. You are going to upset your stomach eating that fast," Tofu said. "Mrrm--Saotome-mmmrrrmSchool--mmrmr-mrrrm!" "Oh, I see," Tofu said with a grin. "Are you sure?" "Gyah!" Ranma cried out as he ripped the cap from the half-liter jug of papaya juice. He
took a deep pull on it, reducing its contents by half, then he again began stuffing been curd into his mouth using a variant of the Chestnut Fist attack. "He's beginning to cool off a little," Akane said. "Yes, it's the food that's doing it," Tofu said. "Don't you mean the papaya juice?" Akane asked. Ranma paid them no mind. "No, what we are witness to here is the law of conservation of energy." "Well food is fuel, shouldn't he warm up after eating? I always do." "Ordinarily anyone would, Akane, but Ranma has been using his ki to soak up heat out of the air, off and on for the last couple of days. Without a lot of protein, he could no longer contain it." "I don't understand." "Let's see, how to explain? How long were the two of you in China?" "Oh, I was there several weeks. Ranma even longer." "Strenuous, wasn't it?" "I'll say!" "How well were you able to eat over there?" "Not very well at all. We were a little short on money." "So several weeks of heavy exercise with little to eat and a great deal of emotional stress thrown in for good measure, right?" Akane nodded her head. "Then you come home and have that rather bad weekend, right?" Akane rolled her eyes towards the heavens, then gave Tofu befuddled stare. "So Ranma's body needed to rebuild after enduring all that stress. Yours probably does as well. Over the last two days, Ranma has been soaking up heat with his ki, then using at least part of that energy to heal and rebuild, but now his body has run short of protein with which to rebuild. You can only store energy with your ki for just so long. It is a use it or lose it situation. Without food, he had to release the heat. The problem is, storing heat with ki can be dangerous because you have to use up ki to hold it and you must use up ki to dissipate the heat once it is stored that way." "Oh! I see! Energy is always conserved. He wasn't making the heat disappear, he was just moving it to another place." "More or less." "But can't you use energy to make more ki?" "No...well, not directly and not very quickly. Ki is not really a form of energy. No one is really sure of what it is or how it works exactly, but what we do know is that it is not conserved. It is the product of biological processes. Only living things generate ki. It can be destroyed, and it sometimes dissipates without ever affecting its surroundings, unlike energy which always affects the medium into which it is propagated." "Watching him eat is making me hungry," Akane said with a sigh. "Have some tofu," Tofu said with a grin, "Doctor's orders." "Just tofu?" "Sure! It's good for you." "Yeah, but it's a lot better whe...boo ghaff zumbden do go wiffit," Akane suddenly found herself trying to talk around a piece of tofu that had unexpectedly materialized in her mouth. "Erm-m-m...Rrnba!" "Mrrm--Dahgdor's urrders!" Ranma said around yet another mouthful of the high protein staple. He smiled at Akane with his eyes, then took another pull on the bottle of papaya juice. Akane swallowed. "How about a little warning before you...do rmm wahg at rrrmgin, gaka!" Tofu stared at Akane in fascination. He knew that Ranma must have tucked another piece of bean curd into her mouth unexpectedly, but it had happened so quickly he did not see it. Ranma did not appear to be able to feed himself that fast. "How does he do that?" Tofu asked Akane, whose ears were now starting to turn pink. "He got into this weird, martial arts eating match several months ago and he likes to...rrrmbracdise..ond--be! Gah hadrrnt fibbished wiff duh rrst one, goo baka!" "Rrrm, do skinny!" Ranma said while exhibiting his unique style of mastication. "Skinny!" Akane shouted. "Skinny? Since when have I ecom do schginney ver oo, gurk?" "China." Akane would have said something else but her mouth was suddenly too full to make any sound at all without spewing half-chewed bean curd all over the room. Tofu laughed and slapped his knee. "I'll go get you kids some more juice," he told them as he turned to leave the room. "Try nod do joke efore Ahd gaid ack. Ay! Eez butty good dofuu." Ranma and Akane can be a lot fun to be around, provided you know how to take them. ---------- - Nabiki Tendo was doing something she had not done in a long time. She was worrying. This licensing thing would without a shred of doubt end up costing tons of money and the party would probably start within two weeks. That meant she did not have time to sit back and let a scheme unfold at its natural pace. She hated that. Pushing a scheme along at an unnaturally quick pace was almost always a good way to incur a loss rather than make a profit. The right
amount of patience was a necessary ingredient in any money making scheme. Kasumi had called her at nine that morning and her mind had been gnawing away the problem almost constantly until lunch time rolled around. She was just sitting down under her favorite tree when Xian Pu came rolling onto the campus, the brakes of her old Schwinn screeching in protest at the way they were being overused. Xian Pu did not have a choice in the matter. She was being mobbed by a hungry throng. Nabiki glanced at her watch. "Well, looks like Xian Pu is right on time!" One of her assistants said cheerfully as she sat down next to Nabiki. "Maybe we should throw a few more orders at the Nekohanten, just to make sure she stays good and tired." Nabiki loved sudden inspirations, especially when they were hers. There was the solution to her acute money problem, standing right in front of her. Most of the pieces were already in place. The rest would be easy. A betting pool on Xian Pu would fill the ticket nicely. Nabiki grinned. She would be killing many birds with a single stone. A betting pool would encourage people to order takeout from the Nekkohanten without it being necessary for Nabiki to exert any influence or call in any favors. Better yet, her cohorts would lend truly enthusiastic support with the smell of money in the wind. A huge smile lit her face. It was going to be a wonderful week. "A man is never so harmlessly occupied as when he is busy making money," Nabiki said to her cohort. "Ooh, I like that," Nabiki's minion said between bites, "It's profound." "Applies to women, too," Nabiki said, grinning like a cat that had just figured out how to catch a canary. She had to remind herself not hum while eating. ---------- - Nodoka and Kasumi had gone all out for their indoor picnic with Ranma and Akane. The Tendo kitchen had been almost as busy this morning as that of the Nekohanten's. They had prepared grilled unagi on rice, raw, fatty tuna and rice wrapped in nori, baked ham in pineapple sauce, baked, Cornish game hens stuffed with six-count shrimp. Tofu had told them about Ranma and Akane's need for protein. Kasumi had also concocted a tossed salad made with fresh spinach, endive, bean sprouts, sliced tomatoes and purple onions, crowned with a liberal sprinkling of tofu pieces. Nadoka had even built a small fire in one corner of the yard and cooked Ranma's favorite vegetable, roasted maize. Even after all of it was boxed up into bento for carrying, it made an impressive spread. "We will probably still be eating this until late next week, Auntie Nodoka," Kasumi said. "Especially since that worthless husband of mine is too cowardly to visit his sick son!" Nodoka said. "There, there," Kasumi said, "I am sure Uncle Saotome has good reason for allowing Ranma to rest. After all, he works out with Ranma all the time. He might well be part of the stress problem Dr. Tofu was telling us about." "I'm sure you and the good doctor are correct, Kasumi. Genma is doubtless a major source of trouble for our son, but still! You'd think he could at least go visit him." "Are we ready?" Kasumi asked with a smile, thinking it wise to change the subject. "I believe so, yes," Nodoka said. "Father, could you lend us a hand, please?" "Yes, of course Kasumi dear," Soun said as began to gather up the heavier items. The three of them set out for the looking for all the world like a cross between an impromptu circus act, or possibly a three-way juggling routine inspired by Jerry Lewis. The whole thing was made a bit more exciting owing to Nodoka's ever present katana. "This would be ever so much simpler if we had a pull cart," Nodoka said in a somewhat flustered voice. "Why don't we go back and get it?" Soun looked rather embarrassed. "Ah, well you see the Master sort of lost it a while back and I never replaced it because..." "Never mind, Tendo-san," Nodoka said, "I'll set Genma to work building you one as soon we get back." Kasumi looked at Nodoka in surprise. "Can Uncle Saotome do that sort of thing Auntie?" "Kasumi dear, the man can do truly wonderful things with his hands, once you ever get him started," Nodoka said with a smile. "Surely you don't think I married him just for his looks?" Kasumi blushed, then giggled. Nodoka watched her slyly out of the corner of one eye. "Of course, I think you are considerably more fortunate than I am," Nodoka said, being careful to keep her voice even, "Tofu is much better looking than Genma and almost certainly has magic hands." Kasumi turned scarlet, even as she smiled. "How did you get Uncle Saotome started, Auntie Nodoka?" "Well, it wasn't easy, I'll tell you! But I'll let you in on a
little secret, it was well worth the effort." "Any pointers, Auntie?" "Perhaps later, dear," Nodoka said with a sly smile, "I think we are distressing your father." A glance at Soun confirmed that he did indeed look as though he might start blubbering. The two women caught one another's eye, then shared a happy giggle. ---------- - Tofu watched Ranma and Akane consume the bean curd from a safe distance, being amused and amazed by turns. The flat of tofu he had brought in that morning was stripped down to the crumbs by eight. He wanted very badly to get in an entire day observing this peculiar couple, but his more normal patients began arriving at eight-thirty. He left them to their own devices after cautioning them to remain as quiet as possible. Akane was not nearly so amazed by the total annihilation of the tofu as her favorite doctor was. She had after all, seen Ranma seriously hungry before. What amazed her was that she seemed to have helped him out by eating at least a quarter of it herself, and now, even though she was so full she worried that something vital might well split open, she still felt hungry. The next truly amazing thing was what Ranma did. Rather than falling asleep the way she expected him to, he asked her to fetch his history book. Then, after she gave it to him, he actually began to read it. She watched him for a while, doubting that he was actually going to read the thing, but he never looked up after he got started so she got out her algebra book and began working problems. She quickly became so engrossed with the beautiful labyrinths of matrix algebra that she was totally lost to the real world for a little while. Mathematics was fast becoming one of Akane's secret obsessions and talents. Obsession or not, her concentration was shattered four hours later by the mouth watering aromas that accompanied Nodoka and Kasumi's arrival at Tofu's clinic. "Mom!" Ranma cried out, then followed that cry up with one of, "Food! Awright!" Akane could not have agreed more. The food was most welcome. Tofu even managed to overcome his "allergy" to Kasumi and came in to check out the goodies. Akane was happy to see Tofu managing to keep his act together, but then was disappointed as he got dragged into a conversation with her father, instead of talking with Kasumi. Perhaps it was just as well, she thought. He and her father needed to get to know one another anyway and this was a good opportunity for that. Kasumi and Nodoka eventually found places to put everything, a major chore given that they had brought so much, then hung back as though waiting for something in particular to happen. It finally dawned on Akane that they were expecting her to serve Ranma. Her father's presence in the room caused her to hesitate, but Nodoka's presence and obvious expectations overrode her concerns with his reactions. She picked up a bento packed with unagi donburi and a pair of chopsticks, then went over and sat down in the chair next to Ranma's bed. "Ahhh!" she said to him. "Sure you don't mind doing this, Akane?" He whispered with a grin. "I just hope we don't find ourselves getting married in the clinic over this tomorrow. You know how dad and Uncle Saotome are." "Don't worry about that," he whispered back. "It ain't gonna happen." By way of answer she stuffed a piece of grilled eel in his mouth, then took a bite for herself. The delightful flavor made her aware of just how painfully hungry she really was. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" "Think you can handle this on your own?" "Sure!" "Good! 'Cause I'm starving and I want to get a bento of my own." "Hey! No problem, Akane. Just stick close, okay? It'll make mom happy." In under two hours there was nothing left of the massive feast, but empty bento and a nearly empty, two-gallon thermos of chilled, oolong tea. Ranma and Akane were both so full that they were straining the buttons on their clothes. Akane had eaten twice as much as she had intended, thanks to Ranma. "Boy that was good!" Ranma said in a cheerful voice, "How long till supper?" This of course got a huge laugh out of everyone and pleased Nodoka to no end. Anyone with an appetite that large had to be healthy, right? In truth it would normally be a sign of someone rapidly recovering from an illness, but Akane knew better. Ranma might be recovering, but he obviously had a ways to go and she found what was happening with him and his ki alarming. She held her tongue and said nothing. What purpose would talking about it serve, other than to alarm her father and upset Ranma's mother? Besides, being cooped up in the clinic for a week or so with
her two favorite guys and no unwanted company sounded like a good deal to her. Better to not rock the boat if she could help it. The last thing she wanted was her dad getting panicky and urging her to come home, or worse, Nodoka taking up full time, temporary residence at the clinic. She wanted Ranma to herself for as much and as long as possible. There were things they both needed to know from one another and had never discussed because some well meaning fool or a rival was constantly getting in their way. Then suddenly, Akane found that she was alone in the room with just Ranma and his mother. Even the empty bento and dishes were gone. I wonder how she pulled that off? Akane thought to herself. I'll have remember to ask Nodoka how she managed it later. "Ranma, my son?" Nodoka said softly. "Yes, mother?" Ranma asked. Much to Akane's shock he had used the proper honorific of "okaasan" rather than his more usual, "ofukuru." Nodoka produced a yellowed bit of paper and placed it on the bed next to Ranma's right hand, then removed the covering from her family's katana. Ranma's eyes widened with concern at this. "Twelve years ago, you swore an oath to return to me as a man and to become one of the world's greatest martial artists." Ranma gulped visibly, clearly unsure of what was on his mother's mind. Akane had already figured it out, but she had to admit that Nodoka was not easily read, not even by another woman. "Today I proclaim that you have returned to me as more than a man among men, and no one anywhere that I know of thinks that you are anything less than a great master of The Art." Tears were not something that could come easily to Ranma Saotome, this Akane well knew and immediately understood that the possibility of him shedding tears was why Nodoka had seen to it that the two of them were the only ones left in the room for this little ceremony. Ranma did not actually cry, but his eyes got awfully shiny. Nodoka held the sword before her still sheathed and parallel to the floor as one would for a proper exchange of arms between samurai. "I therefore declare you to be the rightful guardian of the Saotome Clan's honor and keeper of its sword," Nodoka said. She raised the sword and bowed to it as was proper, then extended it to Ranma. Akane silently thanked the kami that Ranma managed to remember the protocol for an occasion such as this. He was wonderful in many ways, but manners and protocol were never going to be his long suit. He gripped the sword in an underhanded grasp on either side of Nodoka's hands, but did not take it from her grasp. He instead bowed to his mother and waited for her to release her hold upon the it, as was required in a formal exchange of arms. When Nodoka released the weapon, Ranma then held it up and bowed to the sword itself, before bringing it close his chest and pulling it an inch or so out of its scabbard so as to examine the markings near the guard. He then re-seated the sword in its scabbard and looked his mother in the eye. "Mother, I must ask you to keep this sword for a while longer." Nodoka looked nonplussed. Akane gasped. "You have waited patiently for twelve long years, my mother, and it grieves me no end to ask you to be patient for a little while longer, but I must," Ranma extended the sword in the proper, two-handed grip. "Why do you wish to wait, my son?" Nodoka asked, visibly shaken. "I do not wish to accept this sword, until after I have handed you your first grandchild," Ranma said, then glanced over at Akane. Akane felt a strange tickling in her stomach and discovered that for some reason she was becoming very light- headed. Ranma had just said the word grandchild, then looked at her. She was thrilled, she was titillated and she was furious with him for thinking about her like that, but she was pleased that he thought about her like that. What she really wanted to do was faint. She did not dare faint, not now. Maybe she would faint later. Nodoka's smile lit up the entire room and more. Somewhere in Hokkaido the farmers were swearing they had been witness to a visit by Atamaresu. "I understand, my son," Nodoka said as she placed her hands on the sword, "And I accept your pledge." She bowed to Ranma and he released the sword to his mother. She held it up and bowed to it, then silently swaddled it in the silken bag made for that purpose. "With your permission, Saotome-san," Nodoka said with a formal bow, "I ask to be excused. There is business in need of my attention." "Of course, Mother," Ranma said, nearly choking, "Will you visit me tomorrow?" "If it is your wish, Saotome-san," Nodoka said. Akane held her breath.
Ranma was clearly baffled by his mother's behavior, but Akane understood it down to her very bones. She had always known that Nodoka was an old- fashioned woman, but right now she was behaving the way her grandmother always behaved towards her father. Ranma had never been around anyone who acted that way. Thankfully, he managed to maintain a semblance of decorum. "I do wish it, my mother. I wish we had seen much more of one another before now." "It is a great honor, to have such a manly son," Nodoka replied, as she rose and bowed. Then, without another word she turned and strode out the door without looking back. Ranma really was close to crying now. "Akane, what just happened? Did I just lose my mother?" "No, silly!" Akane said, blinking back a few tears of her own, "She's so proud of you she can barely talk. She left so she wouldn't embarrass you in front of me." "Oh," Ranma said with a puzzled frown, "I wish she hadn't left. I wouldn't have been embarrassed." "Then she would have been embarrassed for you, Ranma," Akane said as she sat down on the chair next to his bed and took his right hand in both her own. "A martial artist like yourself should already know and understand these kinds of things." "Pops never taught me anything about this kind of stuff! I just barely remembered what to do with the sword." Akane stared at her husband to be with shining eyes and smiled. "It's okay, Ranma. We all know that and understand." In truth, Ranma sometimes acted as much like a gaijin as a real gaijin. Genma's training of his son had been focused upon The Art to the near exclusion of all else. These shortcomings had and would, cause Ranma trouble until he himself realized that there was a value in the things he had never been taught. "You know, Ranma," Akane said in the mildest tones she could muster, "Now that you can be around your mother, you should ask her to teach you some of those things." "D'ya think she'd do it?" Ranma asked. "I mean, it don't seem all that manly or nothin'." "Oh, Ranma! Of course she would! For that matter, I might sit in with you. It wouldn't hurt me to polish up on proper etiquette either." "Gee, Akane! Would...would you really do that?" "Sure," Akane said, then gave him an impish smile, "I'll even throw cold water on you so you won't feel out of place." "Akane...I, well...I ..." Akane put a finger to his lips. "Shh, Ranma. I know. We have time." The tension in Ranma's shoulders vanished and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Akane." Akane's heart stopped. "Sorry for what, Ranma?" "For making your life difficult." Akane's heart began beating again. "It was difficult before you came here, Ranma." He did not say anything in words. He just stared at her. He looked like a man who had just found a sack of diamonds. Akane loved it and hated it at one and the same time. Being desirable was one thing. Being looked at as though she were property was another. It thrilled her and it made her want to reach out and touch someone--real hard. "You don't own me, Saotome." "I will before long." Ranma's tone was deadly serious. Frustration washed over her. She wanted to swarm up onto his chest, kissing him and hitting him by turns, but the clinic, being open, was just a wee bit too public for all of that and Ranma was not in good enough shape to deal with it. "It will cost you," Akane said, then looked him over very carefully, as though he were slave she might buy, "Sure you want to pay the price?" Much to Akane's amazement, Ranma did not flinch. He grinned. It was an almost evil grin, as though he knew something she did not. "When the time comes," Ranma said, "I'll pay it." Much to Akane's consternation her hands were beginning to shake and her knees were knocking. What's come over me all of sudden? She asked herself. "You should rest now, Ranma," she said. Not only was this true of Ranma, but she herself needed to get away from this subject for a while. "I'm not a bit sleepy. Would you hand me my science book?" "Sure," Akane said, as she fetched the book, "I was thinking, how about pizza for supper tonight?" If Ranma thought it unusual that Akane would still be thinking about food after their enormous meal, he showed no sign of it. "I don't know, Akane. Sometimes it makes me have weird dreams when I eat it for supper." Akane stuck out her lower lip at him. "Oh, all right already! Pizza's fine. Just be sure to have 'em bring lots of soda water, okay? And no anchovies!" Akane rewarded him with her special, just for Ranma when he's a good little boy, smile. It worked better than usual. No one but her was in the room to watch him
react. ---------- - The sun dropped below Nerima's horizon at precisely six-thirty in the evening, just as astronomers had predicted it would. Not that this success on the part of the astronomers was that unusual, just that prediction and Nerima are used in the same sentence only after great caution has been previously exercised. Xian Pu reached down and flipped the lever that pressed the little generator against the front wheel of her bicycle and was rewarded with a beam of light shining out in front of her. She rang the bell a little earlier at each corner, just in case someone was thinking of stepping out in front of her as she pedaled on into the night. The generator powering the light wasn't really that much drag and ordinarily, Xian Pu would have paid it no heed, but this was the end of an extraordinary day and she found herself resenting the additional load, minor though it might be. Upon her return to the Nekohanten she discovered that she had yet another five deliveries to make when all she really wanted was to strip off her sweaty clothes and collapse-- never mind a bath. That could wait until morning. Five minutes and a half-gallon swig of water later, she was back on the streets pedaling away until well past nine o'clock. Ko Lon would not hear of her going to bed without a bath. She had made arrangements for the local bathhouse to stay open a little later than usual, just so they would have a chance to bathe. Xian Pu went upstairs and gathered her things, then made the mistake of sitting down in a chair while waiting for Ko Lon and Mu Suu to come down. "Let's go, child," Ko Lon said. "Xian Pu too tired, Great-grandmother. No want to walk to bathhouse." "You need only walk as far as the door, my dear." Xian Pu turned her head so that she could see past the doorway. Mu Suu was standing next to a large, two wheeled pull cart. The cart had a number of cushions and a blanket in it. "Mu Suu, where you get cart?" "I stole it from Happosai." "Happy no own cart, Mu Suu. Cart belong somebody else!" "So? If somebody comes to claim it I'll let them have it back and say Happy gave it to us to pay his bill. Now come on. People are waiting on us." Xian Pu clambered aboard the cart and sprawled out on the cushions. Mu Suu and Ko Lon had not pulled the cart for more than half a block before she fell sound asleep. She perked up quite a bit after their bath, but still sat in the cart and let Mu Suu pull her towards home. Partly because she was tired and partly because Ko Lon told her that Mu Suu had looked like a man hauling gold to the bank on the way to the bathhouse. Flattery was one of few things Xian Pu liked better than flowers. Two men came stumbling out of the big party being held at Miyagi's Sake Parlour and noticed Xian Pu riding in the cart with Ko Lon walking along side. "Now that's the way to take care of a champion!" One of the men said cheerfully. "Yeah! With care like that, we're sure to win tomorrow!" The other man said happily. "I beg your pardon?" Ko Lon asked. "You mean you don't know?" The first man asked. "Know what?" Ko Lon asked. "The betting pool!" The second man said. "Betting pool?" Ko Lon asked. "Yeah, we're both bettin' on this pretty little girl, here." "Bet on Xian Pu to do what?" Xian Pu asked. "We're bettin' you won't miss a delivery or be late by more than five minutes, for any order placed all day tomorrow." "Hah! What fool give you five minutes against Xian Pu, much less miss delivery?" "That's the spirit, girlie!" the first man said happily if a bit blearily. "Yeah! We knew we could count on you!" The second man said, then the pair staggered off down the street arm in arm, singing something in English. "Great-grandmother?" "Yes, child?" "What 'Mary McCarthy'?" "You don't want to know, dear. How are your legs?" "Legs fine. Tired though." "I just imagine they are." Much to Ko Lon's annoyance, the telephone was ringing as they walked back into her establishment. Xian Pu laboriously made her way up the stairs as Ko Lon waved for Mu Suu to stay with her for a moment. She was scribbling rapidly as she spoke into the telephone. She groaned as she hung up. "Set your alarm for four, Mu Suu. The graveyard shift on Forges Street has discovered us. They want supper delivered by six. It's a huge order or I would have turned it down." Mu Suu groaned. "I never thought I'd see the day I hated prosperity." Ko Lon cackled. "Better go get some sleep Mu Suu. Looks like tomorrow is going to be another long, long day." ----------
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Comes The Cold Dragon The party at Miyagi's Sake Parlour was being thrown in honor of Ranma Saotome. Not that Ranma Saotome was in attendance, or even knew about it. The party was Happosai's idea. Soun and Genma had, just as they agreed to do earlier in the day, requested that Happosai test Ranma for his teaching license. Happosai was delighted that they thought Ranma was sufficiently advanced to begin teaching The Art. Happosai was so delighted, he insisted that this momentous event be properly celebrated at Soun and Genma's expense. One of the few things the old man loved as much as he did stealing panties, was taking advantage of the opportunity to partyhearty on someone else's money. He was proficient at it. Not that he ever let a mild bout of inebriation keep him from trying his hand at a bit of judicious panty plucking anyway. Fortunately, Miyagi's wait-staff were all old pro's, knew Happosai quite well and therefore made allowances for him. Most of them actually enjoyed these affairs, especially since they all wore some of the most expensive lingerie made of cotton to be found anywhere outside Paris, and knew that Nabiki would find a way to pay the bill, provided it was properly itemized. Miyagi sent a runner around to each of the girl's houses to fetch more undergarments with specific instructions to retrieve the best stuff the girls owned. Everybody was having a good time. By eleven, Soun and Genma were three sheets into the wind and still not getting any steerage. Happosai on the other hand, was just getting good and warmed up. He sat in the middle of the table while Soun and Genma stared stuporously at the ceiling, a bottle of sake as big as he was in his left hand, while snagging panty hose and what have you from the bodies of passing waitresses with his right hand. The girls reacted to this by squealing and wriggling, then would put on a show of mock outrage while making half-hearted attempts to recover their underwear. Miyagi's other customers enjoyed this bit of improvised theater as much as Happosai did. It was the best sort of magic act any of them had ever seen. Word got around to the other bars and Miyagi's filled to capacity by eleventhirty. Everything was going quite well until Tillie's two meters tall boyfriend showed up. Just as he walked through the door, Happosai extracted Tillie's frilly and to be truthful, Velcro(tm) tabbed brassier with a deft pluck of the thumb and forefinger. Tillie squealed, wriggled and attempted to retrieve her bra, just as the script of the evening called for. Happosai took this opportunity to bury his face between Tillie's ample breasts, much to the amusement of Miyagi's other customers. Tillie's boyfriend however, was now two- meters tall and a hundred kilograms worth of upset. He locked onto Happosai with a laser-like focus of hatred, and fired himself across the room with the sole intention of driving Happosai into the floor like a tack, turning over tables and upsetting chairs laden with seated and sadly besotted salary men like a middlebuster tearing up so much old turf. Happosai, immediately recognizing the disturbance for what it was, having much experience in these matters, you see, picked up a fifty-yen coin and flung it downwards so that it struck the big toe of Genma Saotome's right foot edge on, without ever removing his face from Tillie's cleavage. The coin struck the nail of Genma's big toe at a velocity just short of warp six. Genma's toe immediately transmitted pain signals of a magnitude sufficient to pierce the
alcoholic fog presently befuddling his nerve centers, thereby tripping several alarms in his autonomic nervous system. Given that the ganglia running the cerebral cortex of what passed for Genma's brain was entirely too addled to function at their more normal, but less than admirable, peak efficiency, the autonomic system proceeded to respond to the best of its ability. It made Genma stand up in front of the rapidly approaching, hundred kilograms of destructive intent, which had so recently hurled itself at Happosai. This was exactly what Happosai expected Genma to do. After all, his main purpose in letting Soun and Genma hang around with him was to handle his light work and defray costs. In exchange, he inflicted enough pain upon the pair that they learned a thing or two. The fact that it often required a great deal of pain to teach them anything did not bother Happosai in the least. In his view, their innate density made them the most profitable pair of students he had acquired since embarking upon the profession of itinerant pedagogue. "E-e-e-eyowie!" Genma bellowed, "That hurt, you know!" Genma Saotome is often the target of vitriolic opprobrium. Often, said opprobrium is justified, but sometimes not. The man is not without his talents and good traits which tend to work in his favor and occasionally, in the favor of others. One of the things which often goes unrecognized about Genma Saotome is that he is a man of considerable martial skill. Skill that was hard earned by constant training and drill over the course of several decades. The other trait which is often noticed, but too often belittled rather than appreciated the way it should be, is his rather substantial build. Genma Saotome's physique is very similar that of a large, granite boulder with the chief difference between Genma and a granite boulder being that Genma is a bit more solid than your average run of igneous rock. Genma's eyes, having observed the rapid advance of the two meters tall Tillie tingler, had been sending urgent signals to the ganglia making up the cerebral cortex of what passed for Genma's brain for a lengthy, by beer joint brawl standards mind you, period of time now. Receiving no response, the eyes timed out the connection and began sending the same signals to the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic system was not equipped for, nor was it given to, a great deal of analytical thinking. Fortunately, because Genma had trained and drilled for so many hours out of so many days for so many years, roughly sixtypercent of his martial skills were contained in his somatic memory. The autonomic system picked a routine from the somatic memory, launched it, then as much out of frustration as desperation, began dumping large quantities of adrenaline into Genma's bloodstream, hoping that this drastic measure would succeed in getting the attention of the ganglia making up the cerebral cortex of what passed for Genma's brain. The routine stored in somatic memory that the autonomic system chose is known among martial artists as the "go no sen" strategy. Anyone who was once a member of the 82nd Airborne, would recognize this as the "lured him in with a piece of bread" gambit. There are of course numerous ways to implement any given strategy and each martial artist and soldier has his own, personal, favorite way of pursuing such an affair. Genma's personal favorite took advantage of his rather substantial physique, and is widely known as the "Fujiyama-ken." This consisted of Genma dropping into a peculiar looking, if extraordinarily stable crouch, while settling extremely heavy ki into his lower limbs. He favored this technique so much that it was actually the first subroutine automatically called by the "go no sen" routine stored in his somatic memory. The two-meters tall Tillie tingler failed to recognize the "Fujiyama-ken" for the devastating technique it was. Even though he was an accomplished brawler of considerable repute, the two-meters tall Tillie tingler lacked any formal training in The Art, was new to Nerima and had never heard of, nor had he ever seen, the group known to the more experienced Nerimians as Happy and the Fiends of the Happosai. What he thought he was seeing, was a badly inebriated, ineffectual, overweight, middle-aged boob that he could easily remove from his path with a vicious shove. Ki is always created. Energy is not. We often think of energy as something we "generate" but we do not generate energy. We can shift energy around, we may direct it or re- channel it, we can even change it's form, but energy exists as a fixed quantity in the universe and
is never created or destroyed. Energy is always, always, always conserved. The two-meters tall Tillie tingler was reminded of this when he applied a large quantity of energy to the squatting Genma Saotome, whose "go no sen" routine in somatic memory was generating mega-tons of heavy ki with its Fujiyama-ken subroutine, designed long ago by ancient masters of The Art to allow Genma, or anyone else who happened to master the technique, to hold his ground while looking hapless. The ferocious quantity of energy the two meters tall Tillie tingler applied to the hapless looking Saotome had to go somewhere. The universe demanded that it be conserved. The energy expended by the two meters tall Tillie tingler, unable to have any significant affect upon the solid, if hapless looking Saotome, instead affected the two meters tall Tillie tingler. This is what is known as reflection and it resulted in the two meters tall Tillie tingler performing a fair imitation of a bullet ricocheting off a large slab of magma, extruded from the deep crust long ago in a prefecture far, far away. He sailed over the heads of a dozen or so sadly besotted salary men seated at a table he had not managed to overturn in his headlong rush to crush the salacious Happosai, slammed into the wall near the far corner of Miyagi's Sake Parlour, then crashed onto the table occupied by ten or twelve of the work-hardened, hammer and wrench wielding, bluecollar hands that worked the dayshift in various shops along Forges Street, who would have ordinarily been home, snug in their beds by now, but had been enticed to stay for an extra few brews, by Happosai's impromptu demonstration of Anything Goes Martial Arts Panty Plucking. These hale and hearty fellows were not so much upset at the two meters tall Tillie tingler for landing on their table, nor were they all that disturbed by his spilling their beer and sake. Such a thing was to be expected, given that the physics of the situation demanded it. No, what they were upset about was that he had interrupted their floor show. ETFSOI (Elapsed Time from Start of Imbroglio): one and one half seconds. Never let it be said that the Japanese always take a great deal of time to reach a consensus. They can, if a matter is urgent enough, or if by training a group of them has gotten into the habit of acting quickly, reach a consensus in a more than timely fashion. In the case of the blue-collar hands working dayshift in the shops along Forges Street, they had become inured to the need for cooperating quickly in the face of sudden, unexpected demands and work loads. They instantly decided that beating up the two meters tall Tillie tingler themselves, would not be nearly so much fun as feeding him to the still crouching, Genma Saotome. ETFSOI: One and three-quarters of one second. By one and three quarters seconds ETFSOI, Genma's autonomic nervous system had dumped enormous quantities of adrenaline into his bloodstream and it was at this instant that the ganglia of the cerebral cortex making up what passed for Genma's brain, got their act back together. The voluntary system then notified the involuntary system that it was back on-line and demanded to know just what in the blue blazes was going on. The autonomic system responded by relaying the pain alarm emanating from the big toe of Genma's right foot. "Which one of you stupid jerks stomped on my toe?" Genma bellowed, rattling the window panes and causing the walls of Miyagi's Sake Parlor to breath in and out a couple of times. ETFSOI: two seconds. It was at this point that the workhardened blue- collar hands working dayshift in the shops along Forges Street finished applying large quantities of cooperative energy to the two meters tall Tillie tingler. One must remember that the application of energy in this fashion always gives rise to a resultant which is a vector, not a scalar quantity. In this case, the resultant vector sailed the two meters tall Tillie tingler through the air and over the heads of the same dozen or so sadly besotted salary men, that had failed to note the previous passage of the two meters tall Tillie tingler, at a velocity far greater than he experienced the first time he sailed across the room, terminating in a rather violent landing by the two meters tall Tillie tingler upon the still crouching, still heavily ki laden, Genma Saotome. ETFSOI: two and one tenth seconds. The dynamics of the universe being what they are, yet another resultant vector manifested itself before anyone could do anything. The two-meters tall Tillie tingler bounced off the redoubtable Saotome, slammed into the floor,
then shot under the table of the same, sadly besotted salary men who had missed the previous passages the two meters tall Tillie tingler had made over their heads, and were just now beginning to wonder if something in the room might be amiss. The ensuing, follow-on resultant of the two meters tall Tillie tingler's frame ricocheting away from the firmly ensconced Saotome for a second time, was roughly analogous to the spectacular results witnessed when a destroyer escort is struck by a torpedo. Beer, sake, pieces of table, pieces of chair, whole chairs, salary men, pieces of salary men, along with a variety of disgusting fluids, present because several of the salary men had neglected to visit the john during Happosai's two-hours of impromptu, Anything Goes Martial Arts Panty Plucking demonstrations, were launched into the air, flight-limited by the ceiling of Miyagi's Sake Parlour. ETFSOI: two and fifteen one hundredths seconds. As salary men and other disgusting debris rained down around him, the two meters tall Tillie tingler sat up and saw Tillie doing one of the things that had endeared him to her in the first place. She had just finished some ticklish negotiations with the salacious Happosai, which had begun earlier in the evening, and had now set about earning a week's pay in a single night the old fashioned way, by blowing it. Truth be known, she had accepted the job as much for the challenge as she had for the proffered, monetary reward because the tool currently in hand was the proximate size, shape and consistency of a Vienna sausage. Given that this was the case, one might well wonder how the two meters tall Tillie tingler noticed, but notice he did and he let forth with a howl of pain, jealousy, humiliation and rage that simultaneously shook the Pillars of Heaven and rattled the Gates of Hell. ETFSOI: two and one half seconds. For her part, Tillie had heard many similar such cries of outrage and paid it no heed as she went about taking care of her difficult, if diminutive challenge. The two meters tall Tillie tingler, while a handsome enough and energetic enough of a fellow, was a little too short on tongue for Tillie's tastes and she had been planning on replacing him anyway. Now that he had created a disturbance at her place of work, she wanted to be doubly sure she was shut of him. Earning money the old fashioned way while he watched seemed, to her at least, the perfect means of slaying two nuisance grade demons with a single lash of the tongue. The howl of the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler did nothing to stop the brief rain of salary men, pieces of ceiling and other disgusting debris. One of the sadly besotted and now thoroughly confused salary men dropped, willy-nilly, into the lap of one of the work-hardened, hammer and wrench wielding, blue-collar hands who worked dayshift in one of the shops along Forges Street. He, being annoyed and more than a little put off by this unexpected if entirely predictable turn of events, brushed the sadly besotted salaryman out of his lap with a contemptuous snort and called the salaryman a name which will not be repeated here, but had something to do with Tillie's chosen method of earning a week's pay in a single night. This greatly offended the salaryman, who in turn suggested that the blue-collar hand's mother made her living by a means remarkably similar to the one currently being employed by Tillie. Thus the enthalpy necessary to trigger the vigorously exothermic reaction between alcohol and testosterone typically seen on any given Saturday night in most any bar found anywhere in the world, was more than amply provided in Miyagi's Sake Parlor on an otherwise quiet, Tuesday night in Nerima. Birds of a feather always flock together, but never more so than they do in Japan. The salary men exhibited considerable courage, given who they were up against and the condition they were in. ETFSOI: two and fifty-five one hundredths seconds. The howl of the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler also served to further arouse the ganglia making up the cerebral cortex of what passed for Genma's brain. The voluntary nervous system signaled the autonomic system for more power and got it. It then used that power to execute the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Final Attack, by diving for the floor and crawling under the heaviest, sturdiest looking table in Miyagi's Sake Parlour. Here, the voluntary system found itself and Genma being greeted by the remainder of Miyagi's wait-staff. They, being wise in the ways of Miyagi's Sake Parlour in particular and Nerima in general, had already taken cover beneath the aforementioned, sturdiest table in
the joint. Genma's sudden appearance did not upset them in the least. More than one of the girls simultaneously decided it was an excellent opportunity to garner a little more valuta before the evening's close. They hiked their skirts and offered Genma a little something to eat, which was easily done by them thanks to Happosai's plucking earlier in the evening. There is only one thing on Earth that Genma Saotome has ever refused when it was freely offered for the eating, and this night would be no exception to that lifelong behavior pattern. He would not realize the full costs incurred by this ill-considered indulgence on this particular evening for several days. It would be Nabiki who received the itemized bill, and it would be Nabiki who would have to write a check to pay said invoice. Nabiki's continuing silence over the matter would cost Genma dearly for many, many years to come. Never let it be said that a man with low tastes necessarily gets by on less money. ETFSOI: two and sixty hundredths seconds. Happosai, seeing the seeds of a general conflagration germinating in the far corner of Miyagi's Sake Parlour, and realizing that the shout of the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler would without doubt cause Genma's voluntary nervous system to take full control of Genma's substantial frame, decided he had best rouse and deploy his other fiend. He actually hated to do such a thing to Miyagi's. He liked Miyagi and rousing Soun from a drunken stupor under these circumstances would be little different from using a flamethrower to eradicate cockroaches in an outhouse, but he seldom got this kind of attention from a barmaid as good looking as Tillie, even when he offered them exorbitant sums of money. Even more importantly, Tillie was famous for the way in which she finished one of these little jobs. He was therefore, determined that she should be allowed to complete her ministrations without interruption, no matter what it cost anyone or even everyone on Earth. Happosai estimated that in all probability, the greater part of Tokyo would be spared although he could never be certain of what would happen once the dark side of Soun Tendo was provoked, but in the interest of immediately furthering Tillie's Art, Happosai provoked it anyway. ETFSOI: two and sixty-five hundredths seconds. Alcohol affects Soun Tendo in a very different manner than it does Genma Saotome. Unlike Genma, Soun's voluntary nervous system never quite shuts completely down, thus it never quite leaves his autonomic system in control. Instead, Soun has bad dreams while under the influence of alcohol. With just the right amount of alcohol, the amount which makes most other people worship at the cool, white porcelain Altar of Bacchus, Soun's subconscious mind takes command. The end result can vary from maudlin to terrifying, depending upon what sort of external stimuli are present when this threshold of intoxication is reached or exceeded. In the circumstance of Miyagi's Sake Parlour on this otherwise quiet, Tuesday night in Nerima, the sounds and smells of fighting can be detected. Soun's subconscious mind has already begun to relive the terrible, day long battle of Sekigahara. No one knows why his subconscious mind insists upon reliving the Battle of Sekigahara, but it does. The thimble full of peppermint schnapps that Happosai produced, seemingly from no where, and poured down Soun's throat at ETFSOI two and sixty- five hundredths seconds was just the proper amount of alcohol necessary to allow Soun's subconscious mind to seize control of Soun Tendo. The results were terrifying. There may have been one or two warriors in the service of the long dead Tamerlane who were somewhat more bloodthirsty than Soun's subconscious mind, but that is mere speculation of dubious quality, only indulged in by elderly residents of Nerima over hot sake on cold winter evenings. At about this same time, the two meters tall, ex- Tillie tingler had managed to get to his feet and had once again locked onto the salacious Happosai with a laser-like focus of hatred. This time however he had decided that he would seize Happosai and pull off his, well, pull off Happosai's head, right after he dealt with this tall, goofy looking, middleaged dolt with the long hair and silly moustache. The two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler was laboring under the misapprehension that he had somehow frightened Genma away, not having any way to know that Genma habitually went to great lengths to avoid fighting anyone unless food or some other significant tangible was at
stake. The two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler was not therefore, the least bit alarmed by the arousal of Soun Tendo. This proved to be a terrible mistake. Soun's subconscious was at that very moment berating its owner for having misplaced his favorite pole arm, the family naginata, which of course was ridiculous. One did not carry a naginata to a sake parlor, as it is considered bad form to show hostile intent at such an establishment prior to becoming snockered. Soun's subconscious however, did not believe Soun to be in the middle of brauhouse brawl, but instead believed him to be in the middle of the Battle of Sekigahara, which in many ways is even more ridiculous because Soun was born several hundred years after the Battle of Sekigahara and had never so much as even visited that celebrated battleground. He had not done so because he was afraid his subconscious might take over while he was sober. At least when it took over while he was drunk, he could blame his odd behavior on being drunk and could therefore avoid confronting a number of deep-seated, psychological problems. Casting about for a suitable substitute to serve in lieu of Soun's missing naginata, the subconscious part of Soun's mind fixated upon the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler. He was after all, two meters long, almost the exact length of a naginata made for someone of Soun's height. The fact that the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler weighed one hundred kilograms and was not, strictly speaking, made of a rigid material troubled Soun's subconscious mind not one whit. After all, that is what shiatsu points are for, to cure minor defects in makeshift weaponry. ETFSOI: two and seventy- five hundredths seconds. With a speed and dispatch rivaling Ranma Saotome's Chestnut Fist technique, Soun's hands under the command of Soun's subconscious mind reduced the two meters tall, ex- Tillie tingler's weight by ten kilograms, he was full of it you see, and had him standing rigidly at attention, unable to do anything, but breath and caterwaul. Soun's subconscious mind considered the caterwauling to be a very annoying defect, but like any good Samurai or Marine, was determined to adapt and overcome. It adapted by ignoring the caterwauling and seizing the now rigid, two meters tall, ex- Tillie tingler as though he were in fact a somewhat overweight naginata, then made an effort to overcome by attacking the warring factions in the far corner of Miyagi's Sake Parlour with his makeshift, caterwauling and somewhat smelly weapon. ETFSOI: three seconds. What had begun as a battle between sadly besotted salary men and burly blue collar hands, now became a battle between Soun's subconscious mind and everyone else. The one thing that must be said in favor of Soun's subconscious mind is that even though it is exceedingly bloodthirsty, it does not stoop to making class distinctions. It holds steadfastly to the policy of "Kill 'em all and let the kami sort 'em out." Given that there was no exit handily available on this end of Miyagi's Sake Parlour, the two groups had no choice but to cooperate in the face of this newly arisen crisis and try to fight their way past the raging Soun Tendo, thereby gaining the exit to Miyagi's rapidly deteriorating establishment. ETFSOI: thirty-five seconds. The preferred method of dealing with the adept of a pole arm has for centuries been to drop back and let the archers put a hundred or so shafts in him. Unfortunately, there was not a single archer among the combined forces of sadly besotted salary men and hammer and wrench wielding, blue collar hands that would ordinarily have gone home before now. Nor would such a putative archer been in possession of his equipment had one been amongst their number, because carrying weapons to an establishment such as Miyagi's Sake Parlour display's hostile intent prior to becoming snockered and is therefore considered a gross display of both ill manners and poor breeding. After all, even the habitue of Miyagi's Sake Parlour has their standards. By now, the salacious Happosai was being introduced to the true terrors of Tillie's Super Secret, Tongue and Hum but Don't Let 'im Come 'til He Yodels, technique, and was beginning to whimper like a whipped puppy. Tillie was having a hard time with her timing owing to the noise created by Soun's attack upon the poor, dumb sots in the far corner of Miyagi's Sake Parlour, and the incredibly loud caterwauling of his makeshift, and somewhat smelly weapon. Still, she was very good at this particular technique, most of it being of her own invention, and could make up for what she could not hear by using
tactile inputs, much to the dismay of the salacious Happosai, who was already aching for release from this unique form of ecstatic torture. ETFSOI: one minute, thirty and one half seconds. It has been said that the heat of battle serves to concentrate the mind wonderfully. This is true, provided there is a mind available to concentrate. For five terrible, seeming to stretch out into an eternal hell minutes, there was no mind employed in the resistance against the raging Soun Tendo and his caterwauling, somewhat smelly, makeshift weapon. All the proffered responses to his assault had so far been measures inspired by surprise and a sudden shot of adrenaline to the bloodstream and were therefore relatively mindless. It was one of the salary men who, though not a world-class martial artist, had indeed made it all the way to first dan in kendo and had read Musashi's Book of Five Rings several times, as well as getting a huge kick out of the sillier Samurai movies, experienced a flash of insight in the heat of battle. Oddly enough, the source of his sudden inspiration came not from his formal training or reading, but was instead inspired by a scene from one of the sillier Samurai movies. He stepped back away from the raging Soun Tendo, seized a heavy, glass pitcher and flung it at Soun's head. Soun of course, blocked the pitcher with the long suffering, two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler now serving as a caterwauling, somewhat smelly, makeshift naginata. While this was rather hard on the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler, it did save Soun from a heavy blow to the head. It also inspired the salaryman's cohorts and they too began to throw things, anything and everything, including their false teeth at the raging Soun Tendo. There was at one time, four different dentistries in Nerima, all of which disappeared because the dentists died from overwork. ETFSOI: six minutes, thirty and one half seconds. Up until this time, Soun's subconscious mind had not employed any sort of adrenaline enhanced speed techniques. It had, up until the time this improvised fusillade of makeshift projectiles began, been concentrating on doing a cold, craftsman like job of killing everyone in the building. Fortunately for everyone in the building but the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler, the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler lacked the sharp points and cutting edge of a real naginata, or the sadly besotted salary men and the workhardened blue collar hands alike would all have been graveyard dead at ETFSOI, five seconds or so. As it was, they had been taking a severe beating, but were surviving the onslaught perpetrated by the hallucinating, subconscious mind of Soun Tendo. Upon receiving the fusillade, Soun's subconscious surmised that he was under attack by archers. This is one of the great fears of all accomplished naginataka and they train heavily for such an eventuality. Soun's subconscious sent an urgent message to his autonomic nervous system demanding more power and to send it fast. The autonomic system realizing what the subconscious apparently did not, that the two-meters long, ex-Tillie tingler was about eighty-five kilograms heavier than a real naginata should be, opened Soun's adrenal ducts to their maximum, stepped hard upon his pituitary with both feet, then sent an urgent reply back to the subconscious that said in essence, "Hit it!" whereupon Soun's subconscious immediately went into that graceful frenzy which allows an accomplished naginataka to fend off hundreds of arrows fired on him from every direction at once. Which meant, among other things, that the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler would now have to endure removing several square meters of Miyagi's ceiling boards with his head and toes as he was whirled around and about Soun Tendo as though he were the rotor of some sort of insane helicopter. The voice of the two meters tall, exTillie tingler had already begun to sound a bit hoarse after several minutes of steady caterwauling, but now, thanks to the not so inconsiderable, centripetal forces being applied to his entire person, including his sore throat and vocal chords, his caterwauling had begun to sound very much like the most serious sort of air raid siren. The kind that woke the good people of Nerima and said to them: "MIRV's and BUFF's and Bears! Oh, my!" "And this is not a drill! Oh, me!" "MIRV's and BUFF's and Bears! Oh, my!" "And this is not a drill! Oh, me!" "MIRV's and BUFF's and Bears! Oh, my!" "And this is not a drill! Oh, me!" So it should come as
no surprise that once the sadly besotted salary men and the hammer and wrench wielding, blue- collar hands inside Miyagi's Sake Parlour ran out of improvised projectiles, thereby allowing Soun's bloodthirsty, subconscious mind to go back into attack mode, that there was a sizeable number of people outside watching as it began to rain sadly besotted salary men and badly battered, blue- collar hands who worked the day shift in various shops along Forges Street. The bulk of them of course, had departed Miyagi's Sake Parlour via exits not previously extant in the roof of that particular structure. ETFSOI: eight minutes. One or two of the good citizens witnessing this turn of events shook their heads in disgust, while the majority just laughed or grinned. One however decided that this must be the product of a fairly serious brawl and that medical and police assistance seemed to be in order. He whipped out his cellular telephone and dialed 119. Upon hearing that there appeared to be trouble brewing in Miyagi's Sake Parlour, the 119 dispatcher demanded to know if it was the weekend already. He found working nights to be distressingly disorienting, you see. The concerned citizen being somewhat exasperated informed the 119 dispatcher that no, it was not Friday night, nor was it a Saturday nor even a Sunday night, but this was Nerima and strange stuff happens here, even on a Tuesday night like tonight and that assistance was urgently needed because it was raining sadly besotted salary men who were not, as a general rule, given to brawling in Miyagi's Sake Parlour or any other joint. The 119 dispatcher then reluctantly carried out his assigned duties and dispatched four policeman to investigate what was going on at Miyagi's Sake Parlour. These four policeman, being much wiser in the ways of Nerima than the inexperienced boob at 119 dispatch, were on their radios screaming for backup before they had taken three steps away from their koban. This turned out to be an exercise in redundancy because the sergeant in charge of the night-standby riot squad had heard the dispatch from the 119 service, and already had his men suiting up while he dialed the emergency, night number of one Dr. Tofu Ono. Doctor Ono was the only medic he knew that could effectively treat the peculiar injuries his men always suffered in Nerima. The injuries were almost never serious or life threatening, but difficult and expensive to treat, unless the doctor in charge possessed a thorough understanding of them. He figured that if Ono ever quit his practice in Nerima, his men might reasonably refuse to service any calls in that district. ETFSOI: nine minutes, twenty seconds. The vocal chords of the two meters tall, ex-Tillie tingler finally fuzzed out, just as a large crowd of curious onlookers began to form up around the outside of Miyagi's Sake Parlour. The caterwauling was almost immediately replaced by one of the most extraordinary performances of yodeling that anyone in Nerima had ever heard. Whoever it was doing the yodeling inside the badly bedraggled structure possessed a voice of enormous range, almost four octaves. One member of the crowd, Furinkan's music teacher to be exact, opined that it was not possible for an unaided, human voice to have that sort of range and volume. This sparked a round of speculation and impromptu, back of the envelope design work amongst the electrical engineers in the crowd, all of whom began to wonder where Miyagi got his karaoke equipment and how on earth did he afford it? Obviously there was some previously unknown development among their competitors that they needed to be concerned about. They had no way of knowing that what they were hearing was not the product of exceptional, solid state design and engineering, but was merely the combination of Tillie's technique and Happosai's fifty years long need of release. ETFSOI: ten minutes, ten seconds. The yodeling stopped without warning and was immediately followed by what sounded like a female version Johnny Weismueller doing his famous Tarzan yell. The crowd began cheering uproariously. The crowd was still cheering when a completely unruffled Tillie appeared in the front door of Miyagi's Sake Parlour, looking as though she had just finished a very large meal. She gave the crowd a prim little bow and strolled off into night. It was at this point that several of the men in the crowd realized what must have happened to some lucky bum inside Miyagi's Sake Parlour and fell upon the street laughing. They would later find themselves at a loss to explain to their wives what was so funny about Tillie's departure from the scene.
ETFSOI: fifteen minutes. Shortly after Tillie left, the night-standby, riot squad, Doctor Tofu Ono and the four street-beaters previously dispatched by the 119 service, arrived at the scene. The noises coming from inside the badly battered and bedraggled Miyagi's Sake Parlour were quite faint, but ominous to their ears. The sergeant of the riot squad ordered his men to surround the place, then he and Tofu cautiously entered Miyagi's Sake Parlour via the front door. Inside, they found a recumbent Soun Tendo, snoring away as though he were at home in bed, with a hideously deformed, two meters tall, ex- Tillie tingler lying across his chest. Happosai had passed out upon the table that he, Soun and Genma had occupied much earlier in the evening. His eyes were locked wide open and stared glassily at the stars through a large hole in the roof and ceiling. The sergeant of the riot squad motioned one of his men over and pointed to Happosai. "Arrest that old man for indecent exposure, and be careful where you point that thing! It may go off again." Tofu knelt down and examined the hideously deformed, two meters tall, exTillie tingler. Looking at the unconscious man gave the sergeant of the riot squad a bad case of the involuntary shivers. "How is he, Doc?" "Oh, it looks much worse than it is, actually. He'll recover nicely in about two weeks." "What made his feet and lower legs swell up like that? Ugh! Good grief! He's got blood oozing out from beneath his toenails." "Centrifugal force, I think," Tofu said absently as he continued to examine the man. "We had best take him to the clinic rather than the jail." "You're the doc, Doc," the sergeant said, then he noticed peculiar noises coming from beneath a large, heavily constructed table on the other end of the sake parlor. He motioned to his men and had them silently surround it. He picked up a nearby firewater bucket, which by some inexplicable miracle had not been overturned during the course of the imbroglio, and waited for his men to get into place around the table, their long, Okinawa style batons drawn and ready. With a throwing style he had picked up while serving as a volunteer with his hometown fire department, the sergeant flung the contents of the bucket into the darkened space beneath the table. Tofu's highly trained sense of hearing had already told him who was under the table and what was going on under the table and so it was no great surprise to him when a howling mad panda reared up and turned the table over as several members of Miyagi's wait-staff scattered like a covey of plucked quail. The girls quickly made their way through the badly shocked ranks of heavily armored riot cops, desperately seeking the cloak of darkness just beyond the spectators. Outside, the crowd roared with laughter. Genma roared with frustration and would have given the riot cops a severe beating if the quick thinking and previously prepared Tofu had not planted a tranquilizer dart between his shoulder blades. "Wasn't this damned thing in this place the last time we got called out here?" The sergeant asked. Several of his men nodded their heads in affirmation. "Well load it up and take it back to the zoo!" The cops began breaking out their ropes and manacles. "Arrest that one," the sergeant said, pointing at Soun, "and haul this one down to the clinic." It was at this point that Miyagi finally stepped into the picture and interceded on Soun's behalf. "Uh, officer?" "Oh, hello Miyagi. Where were you when all this took place?" "Under my bar!" Miyagi exclaimed, sounding slightly offended. "Where do you think?" "You're a smart man, Miyagi. Too smart sometimes. What do you want?" "Well, if you don't mind, my bartender and I will take this fellow home," Miyagi said, pointing to Soun. "Oh, yeah? I was about to arrest him for creating a public disturbance. You know some reason I shouldn't?" "Aw come on, Sarge! This is just Soun Tendo. He's a big crybaby. He never causes any trouble. He just had a few too many and passed out in the wrong place, is all." "Are you sure, Miyagi?" "Sarge, do ya really think I'd try to get some guy off the hook if he busted up my place?" "Naw, I guess not. Get him out of here before somebody notices me being nice. I have a reputation to live up to." "You got it, Sarge!" Miyagi said as he motioned his bartender over. The sergeant went outside. "Run over to the Nekohanten and borrow their cart," Miyagi told the bartender. The bartender grinned at his boss, then sprinted away into the night. "Okay, Folks! The party is over. Go home and get some sleep! It's a work night, for Pete's
sake!" The sergeant bellowed at the crowd. ---------- - Four, "Super-gargantua" pizzas with everything but anchovies on them, and a case of soda water arrived at Tofu Ono's clinic at half past six. Doctor Ono, lacking the cast iron stomach of his young patients, or perhaps just having better sense, declined their kindly offers to share their meal and went out to eat before going home. Ranma and Akane attacked the pizza with a zest that can only be described as wolfish. "Ow!" Ranma said, nearly spewing pizza around the room. "I guess I shudda said no jalapenos!" "What's the matter, Ranma?" Akane asked with an impish grin, "Can't take it?" "Hey! I can take anything you can, Tomboy!" "Yeah?" "Yeah!" "Well let's just see!" Akane said as she shook out a liberal sprinkling of crushed cayenne upon the slice of pizza she currently had in hand. Ranma's eyes widened with admiration and awe as Akane bit into the horrifically seasoned slice of pizza without flinching. Taking a deep breath to quell his heartfelt trepidation, he followed suit by reaching for the pepper shaker and dousing his own slice of pie with the fiery bits of dried chili, then decided that discretion was the better part of valor and added on some freshly crushed, parmesan cheese. Much to Ranma's pleasure and pain, the pizza tasted wonderful. Through watery eyes he looked at Akane and said, "Hey! I really like this stuff!" Akane just grinned, because her mouth was so full she looked like a chipmunk and popped another piece of pizza into Ranma's mouth. Ranma decided that because the martial arts eating technique was not, strictly speaking, a part of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, that there would be no harm teaching Akane a move or two. The four pizza's, along with most of the soda water, evaporated by ten minutes past seven and both the non-newly-weds were in dire need of a bath. "Ranma? Could you sit up a little? I need to get this sauce off your pillow without smearing it." "I think so. I'm feeling a lot better than I was yesterday." Much to his shock and suprise, Ranma's middle ear did not try to tell him that he was walking around on the ceiling or worse, floating around in free fall. "Hey! I'm not even dizzy!" "That's good," Akane said absent mindedly as she attempted to remove the stray dollop of tomato sauce without making a mess of Ranma's pillowcase. "Geez, Akane," Ranma said sounding a little alarmed, "You're a mess." "I know," Akane said sounding slightly guilty, "we both are." "Think you could help me to the bathroom again? I wanna wash some of this off. That pizza junk is greasy." "Are you sure you should be doing this, Ranma?" "Hey! When ya gotta, you gotta," Ranma said speaking with a self-assuredness he did not really feel. His previous trip to the bath earlier in the day had been an ordeal, even with Tofu there to help. Akane helped him get down out of the bed. Standing up on his feet proved to be a very different thing from sitting up in the bed. He froze in place and hung onto the bedstead, waiting for the dizziness to pass. (Yo! Saotome! Time for you to take a nap. I'm cuttin' in.) (Huh? Now?) (You agreed to this earlier today, remember?) (Yeah, I remember.) (So go get some sleep. I'll take it a while.) (Just remember what we said about not lettin' things get out of hand.) (Since when do things ever get out of hand around us, Saotome?) Ranma suddenly found himself wishing he could give his alter-ego a dirty look. (Unlax, will ya? Everything will be fine. I love her as much as you do.) (Oh, all right! Good night, Red.) (Good boy, Saotome.) "Are you better yet, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Yeah, a little. Let's give it a try." "Would you like some cold water first?" "Huh? Why would I want cold water?" "I was just afraid you might be embarrassed," Akane said. "Being helped by a girl while you're a guy, I mean." (She don't count as girl.) (Shut up and go to sleep, Saotome!) "Am I always that childish?" Ranma asked. (HEY!) (Just shut up and watch what happens, Saotome. She's got a sweet side, you know! You just never figured out how to bring it out.) Akane looked up at him smiled at him, her eyes shining with pride. "Not always, Ranma," she said, patting his chest, "Not always." (Well hey, it's working!) (No shit, Saotome. Now if you aren't going to...) (Okay, okay! I'll be quiet.) (Good!) "I'll try to do better from now on," Ranma said softly. "Promise?" "I promise." Akane laid her head up against Ranma's arm and smiled up at him. "I'm glad." (DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST DID?) (Yeah. I made you promise that you'd act like a real man instead of Shit-daddy, that's what.) (I DON'T ACT LIKE POPS!) (You come real close sometimes,
Saotome. Real close!) (YOU JUST GAVE OUR WORD!) (Yep. That means we'll have to try and behave, doesn't it?) (AARGH!) (Ooh! I'm so scared!) (YOU REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO US, DO YOU?) (What I have done, Saotome, is to decide that it really doesn't matter if someone sees us being nice once in a while, or admitting we need help when we really do need it. It's the manly thing to do!) (ARRGH! IT AIN'T MANLY TO SHOW WEAKNESS!) (Admitting you need help to someone who loves you and can help you is a strength, you twit! You go runnin' to Shit- daddy whenever you need help with a technique you can't beat, right?) (Not very often anymore.) (And your point is?) (All right already! You gotta point, but I don't hafta like it.) (Don't like it all you don't wanna, Saotome. Makes no difference to me, but if we don't change somethin' soon, we're gonna lose Akane.) (I don't...are we really all that sure we even want her?) (Hmph! You answered that question the day you scattered Safuron's bones all over Jusendo! You remember the guy I'm talkin' about, right? The single source of heat and light his people had? Remember him? That guy?) (ENOUGH ALREADY! I hate what I did, okay?) (But you did it for a good enough reason, Ranma. You gonna blow it now that the fight's over?) (I don't wanna lose her. Akane...Akane is...) (I know what she is to us, Saotome. We die right after she does or the day she leaves. Now go to sleep before you grit our teeth and give us a headache. We don't need a headache right now.) (What makes you think you're all that good at this kind of stuff anyway?) (I ain't all that good at it, but I am one whole hell of a lot better at it than you are, right?) (Yeah, okay. I'm outta here.) (Good night, Saotome.) Ranma had broken out into a sweat by the time Akane had helped him through the narrow door of the bathroom. He sat down on the commode lid, breathing heavily. "Are you sure you're okay, Ranma?" "I'm a little dizzy." "I hate to say this, but..." "I need a shower, don't I?" Ranma said, finishing Akane's sentence for her. "Think you could manage a shower while sitting down?" Akane asked. "I don't think I can reach the knobs, Akane." Akane looked into the open shower stall and realized that Ranma was correct. It was a western style stall with the controls installed so as to be easy for a standing adult to reach without bending over. "It's too dangerous for you to try by yourself. You stay right there," Akane said. "I'll be right back." "But...Akane? Akane!" (WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO NOW?) (I gotta pretty good idea, Saotome, but I ain't so sure I actually believe it.) (YAAH! SHE AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON!) (Don't be silly! She's wearing an oversized teeshirt and a pair of shower shoes.) (THAT AIN'T NO WHERE NEAR ENOUGH CLOTHES AND YOU KNOW IT!) (Will you calm down?) "Excuse me, Ranma," Akane said as she squeezed by him and stepped into the shower stall. (OH, GOOD! AT LEAST SHE'S WEARIN' HER PANTIES.) (You want I should use that trick Happosai showed us?) (ARE YOU NUTS! WE HAVEN'T GOT OVER THE CONCUSSION! YOU WANT US TO DIE?) (Relax! I was just pullin' your leg.) (THAT WASN'T MY LEG YOU PULLED!) Ranma felt a sudden tingling over his entire body. The tingling that told him he was going through the change. He had to fight off the urge to shake his head as water ran out of his bangs and down into his eyes. "Thats cold!" Onna-Ranma said aloud to Akane. "Sorry, I guess I should've warned you first, huh?" "That's okay, Akane. It feels pretty good to tell you the truth." "Stand up and hold onto the sink, Ranma. I'll help you get out of those sticky clothes." "Okay," Ranma said, as she helped him stand up. (WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?) (I am going to enjoy this shower, Saotome. You are going back to sleep.) (SLEEP? ARE YOU CRAZY?) (No, you are.) (I AM NOT CRAZY!) (Hmmph! Here you are about to take a shower with the two most beautiful women you know and you're acting like your pants are on fire.) (JUST IN CASE YOU AIN'T UP ON CURRENT EVENTS, RED! I AIN'T WEARIN' NO PANTS! AKANE JUST PULLED 'EM DOWN.) "Pick up your left foot, Ranma." "Okay," Onna-Ranma said sweetly. "Now pick up your right foot." Onna-Ranma complied. "Try not to take this too personally, Ranma," Akane said in an impish voice. "I won't, Akane." (AAAH! NOW I'M NOT WEARIN' ANY SHORTS, EITHER!) (Will you hush?) "Raise your left arm." "Okay," Ranma said sweetly as he looked at himself in the mirror and winked. (WHOOF! WE REALLY DO NEED A SHOWER. THAT SHIRT SMELLED AWFUL.) (So? You gonna calm down now?) (Yeah, okay. I'm calm.) (I thought you said you trusted me.) (I only sort of trust you. I don't trust me at all, not when it
comes to her.) (So go away and let me handle this.) (Okay, okay! I'm goin'.) Akane moved one of the stools into the shower then helped Ranma get inside the stall and sit back down. "Ready for some water?" "Whenever you are." The water was cold, but Ranma did not mind it a bit. "Oh, man! That feels good." "Sure it's not too cold?" "Hey, if you need to warm it up a little Akane, go ahead. Just don't get too carried away." "I'm fine, Ranma. It's you I'm worried about." "Oh, believe me. I needed this. I really appreciate you going to the trouble." Akane stared at him for a moment with a puzzled look on her face. "What's the matter?" "You really aren't yourself, you know." "What do you mean?" "You're acting different." (WATCH IT! HERE COMES THE TOMBOY!) (The Tomboy is mostly your fault, Saotome. Watch this.) "You mean I'm not bein' enough of a jerk, right?" Onna-Ranma asked. (HEY!) "Well...no...not exactly, but I well..." "Pass me the soap, Tomboy," Onna-Ranma said gruffly, then grinned at Akane. "That make you feel any better?" Akane grinned back at him as she handed him a bar of soap. Ranma began soaping up a bath sponge. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" Onna-Ranma noised. "Are you sure you are all right?" "No. I'm not all right. My skull is cracked and I get dizzy everytime I move around the least little bit, but I'm gettin' better." "That's not what I meant." "It really is me, Akane. I'm the same old Ranma Saotome. The only difference is I've been bitin' my tongue tonight, okay?" Akane giggled. "It must be pretty sore by now." "Enjoy it while it lasts, Tomboy!" "All right," Akane said with another giggle, "I will. Want me to scrub your back?" "Would you? I might fall off this stool if I try it." Akane knelt down behind him and began scrubbing his back. Ranma could not remember anything that felt quite that good. He leaned back against her a little as she put her arms around him and pressed her warm palms against his girl-type's tummy. "I really don't wanna fight with you anymore, Akane." "Ranma, You don't..." "No, I mean it. I really don't, but we both know that I am who, and what I am and...and..." "Shhh! It's all right, Ranma. I understand." She gently rocked him in her arms as though he were a child. They said nothing for a long time. The only sound to be heard was that of running water as it pummeled them from above, like a cold, spring rain. Ranma became conscious of Akane's heart beating against his back as a new, never before felt warmth grew between them. (Hey! She really is sweet.) (Toldja, ya big jerk.) (Speak for yourself.) (I just did.) (Yeah, I guess you did, didn't you?) (Saotome?) (Yeah, I know. Go to sleep.) (Good boy.) "Ranma?" "Yes?" "What are we going to do next?" "We're gonna go back to fussin' and fightin' once we leave here." "Why?" Akane asked, unable to keep a painful edge out of her voice. "Partly because of me and my big mouth and you and your short temper," Onna-Ranma said, then grunted as Akane gave him a little poke in the ribs. "But mostly because we gotta keep up appearances for a while." "Why should we?" Akane asked sounding hurt, "How long is a while?" "You know what will happen if we don't," Ranma said, "You wanna go through what we put up with Sunday all over again?" "No, not really." "Me either. I've got a few things to settle before we marry, and I don't know about you, but I'd like to wait until we are out of school and we have some money of our own coming in." "Are you going to teach The Art to make money?" "No choice there, Akane. The Art is the only thing I really know anything about or care about doing. We ain't never gonna be rich, unless fate's gotta fairy god-mother department." "I'm not worried about being rich, Ranma." "I'm worried about us bein' poor. I don't want you to go through what my mom's been through." Akane gave him a little squeeze. "I'm not worried about being poor, just don't plan on taking our son off on some ten-year training trip." "Aw geez, Akane! I ain't, Pop! Why d'ya think I wanna hold off on us gettin' married?" "What about all your fiancees?" "What fiancees?" "Well, Ukyo then." "I...I ya...Aitchoo!" "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "So?" "I ain't in love with Ukyo. I'm...I'm...I'm in love with you." Akane kissed Onna-Ranma's shoulder at the base of his neck. Chills ran up and down his spine. "I love you too, but what are you going to do about her? I mean you can't just keep leading her on." "I don't know what to do about her. Pops has gotten me into a real fix with U-chan. I mean, I'll eventually be able to pay her back for the yatai, but that doesn't begin to cover what she's owed, does it?" Onna-Ranma expected Akane to become angry with him, but
she hugged him tighter instead. "You know, Ranma. For such a great martial artist, you truly are a soft touch." "Shhh! Don't say stuff like that! Somebody might hear you." Like it or no, what Akane had said was the truth. Ranma hated to inflict pain on anyone, especially emotional pain and always went to great lengths to avoid such a necessity. Avoidance would soon cease to be an option. He did not like hurting Xian Pu, but the truth of the matter was she was more interested in preserving her face back home than she was in love with him. Kodachi was a Kuno and did not figure into his considerations at all. Ukyo on the other hand, was his first friend and a fellow artist. Her obsession with him was, well, it lacked perspective, but there was no question that the debt owed her went well beyond the price of a yatai. "We need to let your hair down so I can wash it." "Okay." "Think you can close your eyes while sitting up? I don't want to get this in your eyes." "I'll be okay." Akane began working the shampoo into his thick hair and massaging his scalp. The strength in her tiny little hands was incredible. In truth, were it not for his worries about Xian Pu's reaction or only the kami knew who else's reaction, he would have been more than happy to marry Akane at sunrise, all other consequences be damned, but the risks were just too great. "You gotta lot more to learn in The Art, you know, Akane." "So? When are you going to start teaching me." "I'm going to talk to your dad about helping me get my license after we get out of here." "Must you? I mean you already know just about everything dad and Uncle Saotome knows." "I could, but then I'd have to start my own school, and what would I tell my students? That I studied under hundreds of masters and never mastered a single art?" "You don't need a license to teach me." "It would offend Happosai if I started teaching you without his permission, then he might not ever give me a license." "I hadn't thought of that," Akane said as she rinsed out his hair. "There ain't no tellin' what sort of test he'll put me through." "I hope he doesn't demand something really sick. One of his so-called tests could get you thrown in jail, Ranma." "Don't worry. I ain't gonna do anything that would land me in jail. If he demands somethin' like that, I'll just go to another sensei and study under him until I can get a license from that school." "You could study under Ko Lon." "Her price is a little too steep." "Maybe, maybe not. I think she likes you." "Even if she does, she's got all those Amazon laws she has to go by and she ain't gonna be happy over me refusin' Xian Pu." "So what will you do if Happosai comes up with something really sick for a test?" "I'll go to Nikko or Yagyu. I just hope the old man hasn't offended those masters so much that they refuse me if I do." "How long do you think you would have to be there, Ranma?" "Three, maybe four years." "That long?" "Or longer. Serious dojos ain't like a college where you get credit for what you already studied. It's more like startin' over from scratch until you prove yourself." "Oh, Ranma!" "Will you go with me?" "Of course I'll go with you." "You'll have to learn how to pick tea. It's about the only way to make any money up in the high country." "Pick tea, huh?" Akane asked sounding dubious, "What about you?" "Me? I already know how." "Okay, so we stock up on clothes and things before we leave. That way we don't have to try buying them when we are short on money. I'll ask Kasumi to help me make a list, just in case we need to go, but it might not be an option." "Why?" Onna-Ranma asked. "I think your dad is a lot smarter than he lets on. It would be just like him to have all the really good masters so angry at him that they would never accept you as a student. That way, you would have no choice but to stay with the family school." "You might be right, Akane. But if he did, there's a weakness in his plan." "Oh, yeah? What's that?" "Me. I never caused anyone any trouble and I always did everything I was asked to do. I don't remember a master ever sayin' anything bad to me, just to him." "Where would you try first?" "Yagyu, I think. It's a great place to train and the school at the shrine there is first rate." "You've had a lot on your mind lately, haven't you?" "What?" Onna-Ranma asked as he smiled at Akane, "You mean you actually believe I got a mind?" "Let's get you dried off and back into bed," Akane said and gave him a peck on the cheek. "This shower is getting too cold for me." (We're gonna hafta toughen her up, too.) (Don't remind me, Saotome. I'm dreadin' that as much as you are.) (Yeah, I know.)
(Now then, you...) (I know, go back to sleep. By the way, Red, nice job.) (Thanks.) Akane helped him get out of the shower stall and over to the sink so that he would have something to hold on to while standing, then began drying him off with a fresh towel. (Hey, uh, Red? RED!) (Yeah, I know, Saotome. Thrilling, isn't it?) (Whoa! Man, I hope she doesn't do THAT again!) (You are such a prude, Saotome.) (SHE'S TAKING HER SHIRT OFF!) (So? It wasn't hiding anything after it got wet, and she can't dry us off with it on. It gets our back wet.) (SHE'S...SHE'S...) (Gorgeous, right?) (SEXY!) (Yeah?) (AND CUTE!) (Uh, huh! Our curse comes in real handy sometimes, don't it?) (HERE SHE COMES WITH THE TOWEL...AGAIN...OOH...AH!) (Mmmm, I like that!) (Me too...oo-o-o-ooh!) (Aw nuts! She stopped.) (We ain't got any of those right now, Red.) (What's the matter? You miss 'em?) (At this very second? No.) (I can't believe you admitted it.) (Hey! I admitted it to me.) (No, you admitted it to me.) (Like I said, I admitted it to me.) "Ranma?" "Yeah?" "Do you want to dry your hair, or do you want me to do it?" "You do it Akane, but go slow. If my head moves around too much, I get seasick." "Okay." For the first time in Ranma's memory, Akane actually did do something gently, but he became seasick anyway. The key to fending off seasickness, is to find something in the distance to focus one's vision upon, preferably the horizon line. In this small room, the only thing available for him to maintain focus upon was the seam where the wall joined the ceiling. This worked out pretty well because holding his head at that angle sped Akane's efforts to dry his hair and brush it out. "You make for a very pretty girl with your hair like this, Ranma." "I'll never be as pretty as you are, Akane." (Layin' it on a little thick ain'tcha, Red?) (You wanna keep her, right?) (Yeah.) (Then we ain't as pretty is she is, not now, not ever! Got it, dipstick?) (Zzzzz) (Yeah, you had better sleep.) Akane kissed the back of his neck. Chills and goose bumps radiated out away from where her lips touched his skin like tingling ripples in pond. They spilled over his shoulder and down his front, making his aureoles stiffen. "It's sweet of you to say so, Ranma," Akane whispered into his ear, then kissed his neck again. Ranma shivered. "I ain't lyin' to ya, 'Kane. You _are_ prettier. I'll never be any kind of a match for you." "So how come Kuno can't make up his mind over us?" "You can't go by anything that weirdo says." Akane cuddled up to his back. "You're cold, Akane." "Mm, hmm. I just finished taking a cold shower, not that it helped much." (Didn't help us much, either.) (We're cleaner ain't we?) "Hang on a second, Akane. I'm going to try something." "Don't make yourself...Oh, you're so warm!" A deep rumbling began in Onna-Ranma's torso. He watched in the mirror as Akane closed her eyes and smiled. (I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THAT.) (Why? She likes it.) (IT MAKES US SOUND LIKE A...LIKE A...) (She likes it! Relax, will ya?) "What's so funny, Akane?" "You are. You're purring." "I think I'm gonna hafta lay down now, Akane. My legs are gettin' kinda weak." (Our legs are not weak. They are quivering and our knees are knocking together, but our legs are not weak.) (D'ya really think I don't know that?) (We got other stuff quiverin' too.) (I know. Why d'ya think I want us to lay down?) Akane helped him back to their room. Onna-Ranma could not quite manage putting on his pajamas by himself. He had to put his head down too far to pull on the bottoms. Akane came over to help him out. "Ranma?" "Yes?" "Are you sure you're, okay? Maybe I should call Dr. Tofu." "Why d'ya wanna do that?" "Because your legs are quivering." "Don't worry about it, Akane. I'm fine." "Are you sure?" Akane asked as she felt the inside of his left leg at the knee, "You don't seem to be in control of them." "Akane, I...I...really am still a guy in here, ya know!" "So?" "So how are your legs right now?" Akane's face reddened, but she smiled, then said, "Here, let me help you with this top." "Thanks." Rather than help him to his feet, Akane simply scooped Onna-Ranma up in her arms and carried him to the bed. Onna- Ranma did not mind this in the least and held on to her for a long moment after she set him down. "Ranma?" "Would you like some hot water?" "Boy! Would I ever!" Onna-Ranma said, yet did not let Akane go, "But I don't think it would be very wise." Akane giggled, then crawled up into the bed so they could properly snuggle for a little while. "Akane?" "Hmm?" "We don't want to go to sleep like
this." "Mmm," Akane noised then wriggled. "Akane?" She gave Onna-Ranma a peck on the cheek then got out of his bed and fixed the covers. "G'night, Ranma." "'Night, Akane." (Yo, Red!) (Yeah, Saotome.) (How come we didn't get a goodnight kiss?) (Why would we? She's a girl. And right now, so are we.) (I really did want to kiss her.) (Well so did I! Now get some sleep, will ya?) Neither version of Ranma really wanted to sleep, but sleep they did. ---------- - Tofu arrived at his clinic right around one in the morning, supervising the police whoe delivered his most recently acquired patient. The poor man looked even worse in the harsh, flourescent lighting of the clinic. The police were quick, efficient, quiet, and glad to be rid of the man once they left. After the badly beaten brawler was in a bed of his own in the second of Tofu's four examination rooms, Ono checked on his younger charges. He was gratified to find that neither had been disturbed and remained peacefully asleep. He went back to his newest patient and treated the man's scalp with tincture of potassium permanganate to prevent any onset of bacterial infection, then he decided that going home at this late hour would be a complete waste of time. He would need to check on his patients at least once before daybreak and that was only a few hours away. He went up to his old flat above the clinic. There, he collapsed upon the single piece of furniture left in the place, a worn out couch. He was asleep before his head had completely settled into it's favorite spot on the arm cushion. Onna-Ranma fell. He wasn't sure why he fell or what made him fall, but he fell and fell and fell until he slammed into the cold bottom of a narrow gorge. It was so deep and narrow that it was more of a large crevasse than it was a canyon. The depths of the gorge were so dark he could barely see. The canyon floor was hard, wet and slippery with beaded moisture. His head hurt and he was so sick at his stomach that he dared not lose control of himself. If he allowed the nausea to get the best of him now, he would not stop vomiting until he threw up his shoes. He had to stay in control. His enemy was somewhere nearby. He tried to stand up and walk, but decided against it. It was too demanding and he would need that energy for the fight which lay ahead. Thick strong vines entangled his feet and he wasted a lot of energy kicking at them until at last he was free of them and his shoes. The monster had grabbed Akane and run away. He would find it and kill it, then finally, he and Akane could live in peace and be happy. Ranma just wished that the wet, marble- like stone was not so slippery. It was so slick that just crawling upon it was proving difficult. Fighting the monster in here would be the most dangerous thing he had ever done. He cursed himself for never actually learning to skate on ice. It did not matter. He had beaten Sanzenin on ice, he would beat this jerk on wet marble, or whatever this stuff was. Boy, was he ever going to beat this jerk. "Give it up Fem-boy! You can't beat me," the monster said. The voice roared as much as it spoke. Onna-Ranma kept crawling. "I am Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome School of Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. I don't know how to give up." Nothing gets the attention of a confirmed brawler the way the sound of one brawler baiting another does. Tillie's former boyfriend was no exception. He woke with a start and immediately began having trouble understanding where he was or what was happening. He was lying in a very comfortable bed, but it seemed to be somewhere out in the open. Not only was the air was chill and damp, but a heavy fog was rolling in around him. "Careful, Fem-boy! Death is here!" The monster's voice rumbled. Onna-Ranma rested against the left hand wall of the gorge for a moment. It seemed he was making twice as much motion to gain half the distance he should be gaining. "You shudda thought about that before you grabbed Akane, dumbass." Tillie's ex-boyfriend shook his head upon hearing the girl's voice. She was talking as though she were answering someone he could not hear. Who the hell is Akane? He wondered. The temperature was dropping fast. His breath was now making its own contribution to the swirling fog. "I wish you would hurry up! I ain't ever seen a cute little butt attached to an alligator mouth." Onna-Ranma banged his shoulder on a vertical rib of rock and paused to feel around the base of it. The gorge was widening out, or seemed to be. "Better wish for somethin' else while your wishin'. That one ain't such a good idea." Tillie's former boyfriend noticed a faint blue glow in the fog, coming from
a low angle not far from his bed. The girl's voice had a confident, menacing edge to it, making him wonder if she was carrying a gun. He decided he best get up and figure out where in hell he was and what in the hell was going on. He sat up in the bed and listened intently for a moment. All sorts of ominous creaking and popping noises assailed his ears. The cold mist had begun clinging to his skin, forcing him to wipe his face with the palm of his hand. He winced as he did so. His face felt as though it were badly sunburned. "She doesn't love you, you know," the monster said to Onna-Ranma. Onna-Ranma determined that the gorge was definitely widening out at this point and decided to stick to the left wall of the wide spot, wishing there was more light. He bumped into a rock with his head and began trying to feel his way around it. "That ain't gonna help you none, buzzard bait. Me and Akane are goin' back home together. You're gonna stay here and draw flies." Outside Tofu's clinic, rivulets of condensation began running down the glass of the lobby windows and puddling at the base of their frames. There, the water froze solid, forming dripping icicles which draped over the window ledges. A strange, coruscating blue glow cast an eerie light into the streets of Nerima from within the lobby. "Ooh! Sounds like you found out you'd hafta squat before you could pee when you got up this morning," the monster said derisively. Onna-Ranma found his way around one corner of the rock and was now following its length by allowing his left shoulder rub against it as he crawled along the wet, slippery bottom of the canyon floor. "Oh, it's worse than you think. I'm a world class martial artist and I got a bad case of PMS. You got any more stupid questions?" Tillie's ex-boyfriend gingerly put his feet on the ground, no floor. This surface was entirely too smooth to be anything else. It was cold and wet. So cold it made his overly tender feet hurt. He gritted his teeth at the pain and began shuffling towards the low lying, blue glow with his hands held out before him, thinking that the light must be coming from beneath a door. "I thought sumthin' smelled funny," the monster said, sounding disgusted. Onna-Ranma bumped into another rock with his head, then felt around with his hands. He decided that this was not another large rock. It seemed more like another wall. He had reached the widest part of this section of the gorge. Pressing his left shoulder against it, he moved on, struggling to crawl across the slick stone of the canyon floor, cursing the frigid puddles of water he was now encountering. Some of them were covered with a thin scum of grainy ice. "Clean out your pants before I get there, will ya? I don't want any of that stuff on my foot," Onna-Ranma said. Tillie's former boyfriend found the door and was shocked by the feel of it. It reminded him of sticking his hand inside the freezer compartment of an icebox. His flesh wanted to stick to the door. The doorknob would not turn beneath his barehanded grip. He had to use the tail of his hospital gown to grip it. It made crunching noises as it turned. The door resisted opening. He had to jerk on it several times and make it pop open. He regretted opening the door almost immediately as a flood of cold air washed in around him. It was so cold it almost hurt to breath. The hallway was lit with an eerie, bright blue glow. Looking down, he realized that it probably would not be a good idea to try walking across the floor in the hallway on his bare feet. He returned to the bed for a blanket. "You ain't gonna like what you get in your mouth either, bitch! I'll bet you're the kind that likes to swallow," the monster said. Onna-Ranma had found yet another turn in the wall of the gorge and was now following it with his left shoulder as fast as he could. "Oh, you bet! Right after I tear it out by the roots and roast it over a slow fire." Outside Tofu's clinic, the lobby windows were now covered with a layer of ice several millimeters thick. It was rapidly growing thicker as a misty fog condensed along the entire wall and spilled down into the street. The coruscating, blue light emanating from OnnaRanma's aura passed through the ice coated glass with difficulty, its distorted rays had grown so intense it looked as though someone might actually be welding in Tofu's lobby. Fine flakes of snow began to fall behind the glass. The snow was so cold that it would have burned the skin of any normal person inside the place. It was a rather unique kind of snow. It was made of carbon-dioxide. The building began to creak and groan as though it were a wooden ship, riding out a storm at
sea. "You sure picked a homely little thing for a girlfriend, Saotome. I hafta admit though, she's kinda hot lookin' when she ain't wearin' nothin' but rope." Onna-Ranma had found yet another turn in the wall of the gorge and was now certain that he was in a cul-de-sac. "I'm gonna blow off school for the rest of this year and stay right here with you. You _ain't_ gonna enjoy my stay," Onna-Ranma said, his voice dripping menace as he rose up from crawling position to his knees. Tillie's former boyfriend dropped the blanket upon the floor in the hallway and stepped on it, rather than the frozen tiles. A flickering, blue light came from down the hallway on his right. He looked to see what it was and forgot to breath. Nerima's newest brawler was not a man given to flights of fancy. Science fiction movies with all their wonderful, special effects left him cold. Fanciful tales of magicians and monsters had never interested him, not even when he was a child. Now he was face to face with something right out of a horror movie. A beautiful, redheaded girl was standing on her knees in the clinic lobby with a spectral dragon of blue fire coiled around her. Her eyes were closed. Chills ran up and down the battered man's spine. They were not by any means produced by the falling temperature of the building. "You know, Saotome. You actually frighten me. I don't think I want to fight with you at all," the monster said. Onna-Ranma her eyes about the cul-de-sac, straining to see through the darkness, his ears turned up to maximum, hoping to detect any faint traces of sound or movement. "Too late for that now! You shudda thought of that before you pulled this stupid stunt." Tillie's ex-boyfriend watched the red-headed girl's face as she spoke and sincerely hoped she was not speaking of him. He decided to check and see if perhaps the clinic had a rear exit. As he shuffled down the hall and away from the lobby by sliding the blanket beneath his badly swollen feet, he decided that the clinic was in desperate need of a rear exit and should it not have one, he would add one without charging the building's owner a single yen. "Not really. You see, I did think of it in advance. While you are blundering around down there in that dark, twisted maze of yours, your girlfriend and I will be taking a little trip. I'm sure we can find a nice, private place where we can talk. We have much to discuss, Akane and I." Onna-Ranma's felt a surge of panic in his stomach at this. He had never considered the possibility of some thing, or someone kidnapping Akane for any reason other than picking a fight with him. His rage burned cold. "Coward!" Onna-Ranma bellowed. Akane woke from a deep sleep, every nerve ending in her body jangling with alarm. Something was very, very wrong. She glanced over at Ranma's bed and saw that he was gone. His sheet and blanket were trailed out across the floor of their room towards the door, as though Ranma had been entangled with them as he left. She threw off her own covers, then leapt from her bed. "Of course I'm a coward, you fool! Surely you didn't think I would be silly enough to fight you when I have a chance to run?" The monster asked in an amused voice. A cold, harsh wind blew through Ranma Saotome's soul. "You can run, but you cain't hide, you stupid jerk! Sooner or later I'll find your ass and fry it whole!" The flash of an intense, blue light caused Akane to look to her right as she stepped out into the hallway. She found herself staring at the most horrible thing she had ever seen in her young life. It was tall, at least two meters tall, and shaped like a long, thin hourglass. The head was hideously wrinkled as though the skin had been pulled upwards by thousands of rough fingers, with twin spikes of hair which stuck right straight up into the air, like an absurd pair of antennae, separated by a bald pate, oozing red and purple ichor. The thing's eyes were laced with prominent, red vessels that nearly glowed and blood was oozing from the corners of its eyes. It was coming towards Akane on huge, puffy feet attached to huge, lower legs with all sorts of swollen veins and arteries showing through it's bright, red skin. It was approaching rapidly, despite its ridiculous, galumphing gait. Its lips seemed locked into a horrible, sneering, upturned rictus that displayed fierce, yellow teeth clinched together in hatred. Akane stepped back through the doorway of her room and dropped into a ready stance. "Well the world is a big and beautiful place, Saotome!" The monster said, still sounding amused. "I'm sure you will enjoy your tour," the monster said. Its voice grew
fainter as it spoke, as though it were rapidly receding. As Ranma Saotome felt the ignition of pure, unmodified fury in his soul for the first time in his life, the air temperature in Tofu's lobby dropped precipitously, causing the building to groan, pop and creak as though its collapse were imminent. Rumbling and thumping noises could be heard coming from the second floor, followed by a resounding crash and a hard thump. "No! Bring her back here you, blackguard!" Onna-Ranma screamed. The horrible looking creature looked at Akane as it galumphed past the door way to her room. As it passed her by it said, in a horrible, grinding voice, "Run for your life, girlie! There's a monster in the lobby of this place!" As it galumphed on down the hallway, Akane stuck her head out the door and watched the terrible apparition disappear through the back door of the clinic. The fluttering tail of its hospital gown revealed a perfectly normal looking, perhaps even attractive, masculine rump. Akane blinked several times to make sure her eyes were not deceiving her. Her eyes had not misled her. The monster had a really nice ass, not as nice as Otoko-teki Ranma's, but a nice one. "Sayonara, Saotome," Onna-Ranma's nightmare beast said to him in very faint voice. Onna-Ranma was consumed with grief and gave forth with a soul tearing wail. "A-a-a-arhg! Akane! A-a-a-a-k-a-aane-e-e-e!" Onna- Ranma screamed in a voice unintentionally amplified by his ki. The materials used in the construction of the front facade of Tofu's clinic were not designed to hold up to cryogenic, or even near cryogenic temperatures. They had become as brittle and fragile as fine, Venetian crystal. The glass of the front windows had become even more fragile. The only thing that had prevented the facade's collapse, had been the layer of ice which had formed upon its exterior, but Ranma's grief and fury had dropped the temperature so low that even the ice had become brittle. Onna-Ranma's high pitched wail in the exceedingly dense air trapped inside the lobby set up a vibratory load the facade's materials could no longer support. The facade failed as though the entire thing had been made of a single piece of thin glass. Rupturing with a sharp bang, it spilled rubble into the street that shattered into smaller pieces upon impact. The incredibly cold, dense air within the lobby rushed outwards, freezing everything it touched into crumbly, dead fragility. The sudden release of dense air from the building created a temporary pressure drop inside. The windows in the rest of the building were unable to resist the sudden load and shattered inwards, thus allowing an inrush of warm moist air to equalize the pressure within the building. The interior of the building was instantly beswaddled in a heavy, dripping fog which obscured everything from view. "Ranma are you all right?" Akane screamed, her ears hurt from both Onna-Ranma's wail and the sudden changes in pressure. It made her own voice sound to her as though it were muffled and distant. "Akane? Akane is that you?" Onna-Ranma called back. Onna-Ranma sounded as though he were miles away to the cottony mass of Akane's hearing. "Yes, it's me Ranma! It ran away. I'm fine." "Oh, Akane! I thought I had lost you." "Stay there, Ranma! I am going to come get you." "Akane? Akane, I can't stand up." "I know, Ranma. Don't try to move! I'll be right there." "Akane?" Tofu called out from behind her. "Doctor Tofu?" "Here," Tofu said, handing Akane a pair of geta, or wooden, Japanese clogs. "Put these on first. Whatever you do, be careful not touch anything other than Ranma. Everything on that end of the building is dangerously cold." Akane put the geta on then asked, "What if Ranma's frozen to the floor or...or--" "I think he'll be fine, Akane. His own ki should have protected him through all of this. I am going around front. If you can get out that way without risking a fall, do so. It will be better than risking the hallway while you are carrying Ranma. I would go, but he may not be able to recognize anyone but you right now." "Okay." "A-a-aka-a-ane-ee!" "Stay there, Ranma! I'm coming to you right now." Akane found Onna-Ranma kneeling in a puddle of water in the center of the lobby. She squatted down with her back to him. He needed no prompting to climb onto her back. "Ready, Ranma?" "Yeah, let's go," Onna-Ranma said hoarsely. "Akane! This way!" Tofu called out from the side of the building. The end wall of the lobby was gone and there were no obstructions. Akane walked out to him, carrying Onna-Ranma on her back.
Suddenly, they were deafened by sirens and blinded by bright lights as Nerima's fire brigade arrived. "Hold your water!" the fire captain shouted to his men, "Hold the water! We gotta cryogenics leak!" Tofu had Akane give him the geta. He put them on and went back inside the clinic for several minutes. Then came back out scratching his head. "Akane? Did you see anyone leave the clinic during all of this?" "Just the monster." "Monster?" Tofu asked, "What monster?" "The one Ranma was fighting, I guess." "Akane," Onna-Ranma said, "I was having a nightmare. There wasn't any monster." "Ranma," Akane said, with heat rising in her voice, "I saw a monster! It ran out the back door just before you started calling my name." "Um, Akane?" Tofu asked, "What did this monster look like?" "Well, it was only about two meters tall, but it was the ugliest looking thing I have ever seen." "Was it wearing a hospital gown?" "Uh, huh. And it had great big, floppy feet." "That was one of my patients, Akane. Did you see which way he went?" "You treat monsters?" Onna-Ranma and Akane chorused. "How the hell did this happen, Doc?" The fire captain asked. "Oh, no! We're gonna make the evening news again," Tofu said, as he held his head with both hands. He looked up suddenly at Onna-Ranma and Akane then grinned, "No more pizza for supper, you guys." The three of them broke out laughing, much to the exasperation of the fire captain. The sun was well up before anything was even partially sorted out.
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Comes The Cold Dragon The Nekohanten owned four bicycles, one for Mu Suu and three for Xian Pu. Two of the four had been reduced to nothing more than sources of spare parts for the bicycle Xian Pu preferred to ride. This was no surprise given that Xian Pu could easily put a hundred and sixty grueling kilometers on a bicycle in a day, and that Ko Lon, did not believe in overdoing capital expenditures. The two "spare" bikes were picked clean long ago and Mu Suu had been raiding trash heaps for parts, but on this busy, Wednesday morning, he simply did not have the time to scrounge. He shook his head and stumped back into the restaurant. "Honored Elder?" "What is it, Mu Suu?" "We may have a problem with bicycles." Ko Lon sighed. She knew all too well how hard Xian Pu was on a bicycle. "What now, Mu Suu?" "Well, we have been out of spare parts for quite a while now and I've been scrounging them up from trash heaps. If Xian Pu has a breakdown today, I'll have to let her have my bike." And it won't hold up for more than half a day, Ko Lon thought. Well, this day's been coming for a while, may as well cure this problem while the cash flow is good. "Say no more, Mu Suu. Go get the things on this list before she comes limping back in here with that old wreck of hers and takes your bicycle." Mu Suu adjusted his glasses and read the list. "You are going to make a bouillabaisse?" he asked incredulously. "And bread?" "A bouillabaisse and a brioche to be exact. Watch what happens today and you will learn something important about saving money and gaining allies. Now get going!" "Okay!" Mu Suu said dubiously as he walked out to his bicycle. "When did she learn how to cook this stuff?" he asked himself aloud as he straddled his bike. "Ko Lon is a fountain of surprises. I'll just bet she speaks French on top of everything else. I'll probably have to barter for some of this stuff at that fancy French place. It isn't part of our regular supply
list." Ko Lon returned to her work in the kitchen with only half her mind on her cooking. She had slept very little despite the fatigue brought on by the frenetic pace they had held all day the day before. The brawl at Miyagi's place had jarred her awake shortly after she lay down. She had merely chuckled at the caterwauling of Tillie's boyfriend, then got a real belly laugh out of Happosai's yodeling. No doubt, whoever had gotten the best of the old fart had been female and practiced an Art Ko Lon had never studied--well not enough to get that sort of result anyway. The overpowering surge of ki in the wee hours of the morning however, had been a completely different thing. Clearly, the Saotome boy had been having a nightmare and was completely out of control. She had almost forgotten to breath during the ordeal. The ancient records had warned of this danger and others. Until a bearer of the gift learned control, they were a danger to themselves and those around them at night. One or two of those gifted this way had taken to living in remote areas to avoid hurting others inadvertently. This had not been so difficult a measure for those in the past, but times had changed. This child lived in a society with very different demands from those of the past. He needed to finish his schooling and it was time for him to choose a mate. Ko Lon had no doubt that Ranma would choose whom he pleased, custom be damned. He was that sort of person. As was true of many dragons, Ranma Saotome would be self-made. Coming to Nerima and watching the lad chisel himself out of his parent rock had been one of the most entertaining experiences of Ko Lon's long life. She needed a way to reach out to the boy. Some means of getting past his mistrust of her and Xian Pu. Ko Lon had already deduced that the sudden popularity of the Nekohanten's cuisine was the doing of the middle Tendo daughter. The gambling pool was a Nabiki trademark, but Ko Lon doubted that Nabiki had taken it upon herself to initiate such an action on her own. So long as Xian Pu was busy working, or exhausted from working, she was unlikely to go around picking fights with anyone. Which meant of course that both Akane Tendo and Ukyo Kuonji would be safe from harm. Nabiki might be the hand beating them down to their knees with money, but it had to be Ranma Saotome that set her in motion. Ko Lon smiled as she found herself liking Nabiki. The girl obviously had talent and intelligence. Ranma would never have thought of using money as a distraction on his own, this sudden spate of business had to have been Nabiki's idea. She was as good an adversary as one could hope to have. It would be time for them to talk soon, but not too soon. Ko Lon never passed up a chance to make hay while the sun was out. ----------- Jean-Luc Thibbideaux was not a cyclist, but his name was known to every serious cyclist the world over. The bicycles he built were the lightest, most rugged of any made. His mountain bikes were legend; his racing bikes storied. Only one other craftsman in all the world could come close to rivaling him in the design and construction of bicycles, an Italian fellow in Naples, who charged five times Thibbideaux's highest price. The problem had been that Thibbideaux had not been making the money he should have been able to make in his native France. Being a very Frankish Frenchman, Thibbideaux loathed the idea of going to the United States or Canada as much or more than he did moving to Germany. The only other country in Europe where he could find both the materials and patient, craft labor he needed to construct his bicycles was Italy. A profoundly finicky, Frenchman such as himself living in Naples? Come now! Let us not be absurd! Besides, the tax situation in Italy was really no better than it was in France. To be sure, the Italians had made an art of cheating on taxes, but Thibbideaux was too ardent a socialist to participate in such a practice. So it was that Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux, after many months of traveling the world and agonizing over the positives and negatives, settled where no other Frenchman had ever settled before. He opened a bicycle shop on Forges Street in the Nerima district of Tokyo, Japan. Here, he could work his usual four days per week, six hours per day and still make enough money to build up a decent savings account. This situation would have been perfect, except that after six months of living in Japan, he was beginning to think he might actually commit murder to have a decent brioche. Worse, sticky rice was not exactly his cup of tea. For that matter, he did not like tea too terribly much, either. Certainly he
did not care for the bland, nearly tasteless green stuff the Japanese favored. He reminded himself each and every day to overlook these nearly fatal flaws in his temporarily adopted home. The rate at which he was making money now, would allow him to purchase that little cottage somewhere along the Cote de Azure in another ten years. Once he had a home paid for, he would never need to touch another tool unless he just wanted to. The advantages of Japan had resoundingly outweighed its disadvantages. The materials he needed were easily available here with few or no questions asked. In France, the purchase of a two meter length of titanium tubing guaranteed a visit from the police, even if he had filled out all the paperwork properly. Here he had very few problems with the local authorities, tax collectors and otherwise, not to mention that the craftsman here were better than the best he had been able to find back home. A Japanese craftsman would willingly work on something until it was flawless, little or no supervision required. Oddly enough, very little of his business came from Japan itself. The Japanese had a rather cavalier attitude towards bicycles and would often throw one away simply because it had a flat tire. The number of serious cyclists in Japan was tiny and very few of them had budgets that allowed them to purchase his goods and services. Curiously, over fifty-percent of his business came from the United States and Canada, the very places he considered so tainted with commercial interests that he refused to grace their shores with his presence. Another twenty-percent of his business came from Great Britain with the remainder going to any number of odd, out of the way places, including the two mountain bikes he had recently shipped to some tiny village in the far off Provence of Qing Hai, China. The one unsurprising thing about his business was that nearly sixty-percent of his customers were French expatriates like himself. Sunrise on the Wednesday morning following Akane Tendo's failed wedding found him in his shop, putting the finishing touches on a mountain bike that he was almost certain that he would not be shipping for another year or more. The customer who had ordered it, an American, paid him half the bicycle's price in the form of a cashier's check. Since that time however, he had been involved in a terrible racing accident in the Cascades of Washington State. He would, in all probability, be laid up in the hospital for a year. Jean-Luc Thibbideaux loved bicycles almost as much as dogs love trucks, loved bicycle sports and loved cyclists, but he had no illusions about them. This American kid was going to have the devil's own time ever paying off the other half of what he owed. Still, a bicycle was a bicycle and they were the medium of Jean-Luc's art. He took as much care with this machine as he would have taken with any of his other creations. ----------- Nabiki loved the cellular telephone, and she hated the cellular telephone. She loved them because they let her get things done that would have otherwise been entirely too inconvenient. She hated them because they tended to bother her when she least needed or wanted to be bothered, like during breakfast. Bee-boop! Bee-boop! "Tendo!" "Forges Street deliveries were fiveminutes early to right on time. Now headed for the fish market," the voice on the other end of the call said. He called this early only because he had been told to, and knew his boss would not consider his terse delivery of the facts as an offense. To the contrary, she would very much appreciate it. "Good." Click! Bee-boop! Bee-boop! "Tendo!" "Big trouble at Miyagi's last night. Panda in zoo. Pervert in jail, charged with IE this time. Third party sent to clinic. All others limped, or flew home. Exact damages unknown. Your father carried away by pull cart, destination believed to be your house." Click! "Kasumi, have you seen Daddy this morning?" "No. I think he and Uncle Saotome must have stayed over somewhere. Neither of them came home last night." "Meet me at the front door, Sis. I think I know where Daddy is." Nabiki got up and walked to the foyer and opened the front door. Sure enough, her father was snoring away on the front step. Someone had pinned a note to his gi. Nabiki took the note and read it. "Tendo Nabiki-san. Please visit me at your earliest convenience today. We have a great deal to discuss. Yours, Miyagi Jiro." "Chikusho!" "Nabiki!" Kasumi said, in a tone of reproval. "They must have gotten into a brawl last night, Kasumi. Miyagi pinned this note to Daddy's gi." Kasumi
took the note from Nabiki, then read it. "Oh, my! You had better go by and have look at it on the way to school." " I will. Would you call the contractors for me and have them meet me there?" "Yes of course. Would you help me get Father into his bed, please?" Just as they had gotten the unconscious Soun Tendo half- way down the hall to his room, Nabiki's red phone rang. Bee-boop-boop! "Tendo!" "'Biki they had big trouble at Tofu's clinic last night!" "What happened?" "I'm not sure. Some kind of explosion from the looks of what they are showing on the television. The entire front wall has been blown to bits. Wait a second...the fire captain is saying something about a cryogenics leak." "Anyone hurt?" "They said one man is missing, but they aren't giving out any names." Nabiki fought down the panic rising in her throat. "Okay. I'm going to be late getting to school this morning. Tell Mr. Shimamura what has happened. He'll understand and take care of the details. Set odds on panty raids at 100 to 1. Be sure and tell all comers that Happosai is in jail. Take all bets. Got it?" "Hai, Oyabun! Big money day, neh?" "Let's make it a really big, money day. Set odds at 500 to 1 and take all bets." "All bets! At 500 to 1?" "All bets. This is a fool and his money deal for today. Long odds on all the usual Saotome stuff. Long odds on all the Kuno and Akane stuff. Long odds on general weirdness. Tomorrow might be different. Standard odds on Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo, got it?" "Ooh! A dull and profitable day!" The betting pool tended to receive large numbers of small bets when the odds were running in this direction. Days like this often made them more money than the extremely active ones. This of course, would be on top of Operation Market Garden. "That's about the size of it." Click! The two girls got Soun into bed quickly and efficiently, having had much practice at it. "Okay, Kasumi, here's the scoop. Happosai is in jail for indecent exposure." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said with a laugh. "Uncle Saotome is in the zoo again." "Oh! Ranma will be so pleased!" Kasumi exclaimed with a smile. "And I can't wait to tell Auntie Nodoka." "Miyagi's must have taken a pretty heavy beating, but you know as much as I do about that." "Yes." "There has been a problem of some kind at the clinic." "Oh, dear!" "I don't know how bad it is yet, but would you have Mr. Uchigawa meet me at the clinic instead of Miyagi's? Tell him I will most likely have a cost plus job for him there. Ask the other contractors to meet me at Miyagi's at nine. I'll call Miyagi myself." Uchigawa was by no means the lowest cost contractor in Nerima, but he was the fastest and had the best connections with the Nerima Inspection department. Things went quickly when he worked on them, but you paid. "What happened, Nabiki?" "I'm not sure, but from what was reported on the television this morning, I think Ranma must have knocked out a wall of the clinic." "Oh, my!" "Don't say anything to Aunt Nodoka until after I've had time to check it out. It may be nothing. You know how these things get blown out of proportion." "All right. You had best run along. I will finish with father. Oh, is the television on the blink again?" "Yeah, I guess that would be best." "I will take care of it. Anything else?" "That's all I can think of...Oh! Drop your cell phone into your apron pocket. I may need to get a hold of you fast." "All right. I'll fetch it as soon as I have Father all tucked in." "Gotta run, Sis." "Nabiki?" "Yeah, Sis?" "Be careful." "Yes, Kasumi." "Stay calm." "Yes, Kasumi." "Be nice to your sister and Ranma." "Yes, Kasumi." "Call me as soon as you know how everyone is." "Yes, Kasumi." "I love you." "I love you too, Sis. Bye!" "Bye, bye!" ----------- In her flat above the only Okinomiyaki shop in Nerima, Ukyo Kuonji watched the morning news and shook her head in dismay. "Would you look at that, Konatsu?" Ukyo asked her ninja assistant, "Whatever on earth makes their parents think those two can survive being married to one another?" "It might have been something other than an argument, Ukyo- sama," Konatsu said. "Oh, come on. You know how they get along. What else could have done that much damage to the building? Akane probably knocked my poor Ran-chan right through the front wall." "I don't think she would hit him while he's so sick, Ukyo- sama." "Hmmph! Her problem is she doesn't know how to appreciate a real man like Ranchan. That's why she's gonna lose him to me." Konatsu shook his pretty head in dismay. ----------- Uchigawa had seen the morning news and left immediately after Kasumi called. He had brought one of his own
inspectors and an estimator with him. The fire captain had let them through the barricade and they were already crawling around the rubble, taking notes when Nabiki arrived. "Good morning, Tendo-san!" the fire captain said to Nabiki. "Good morning, Captain-san!" Nabiki said back to him with a smile. She had known him since childhood. All but three of the firefighters were gone. All they were needed for now was to direct traffic around the dangerously cold rubble until it thawed out. "We will be leaving soon. Uchigawa has a labor crew on the way to clear the street." "Thanks. Is this one billable?" As with many fire departments all over the world, the Nerima Fire Brigade billed property owners for calls stemming from their own negligence. The fees charged only covered a fraction of their real cost, but the idea was to encourage people to be safe. "'Fraid so." Nabiki suppressed a groan. "Just a single alarm though." "Oh, good," Nabiki said, sounding relieved. "What's the report going to say?" "I am calling it a small, cryogenics leak. I will swear before all the Kami of Japan that it was corrected while I stood here and watched." "Thanks. What's a report that favorable going to cost me?" "Oh, no charge this time. We're talking about Doc Tofu, here." Nabiki breathed a sigh of relief. "May I go have a look? I need to speak with Uchigawa-san." "Sure. Just be careful not to touch anything with you bare skin. You might stick to it." "It's still that cold?" The fire captain looked grim and nodded. "Be very careful." As it happened, Uchigawa saw Nabiki and came to her, saving her the trouble. "Good morning, Tendo-san." "Good morning, Uchigawa-san." "It looks like about twohundred thousand, right off the top of my head. That's at cost plus five." "Cost plus five?" Nabiki could not conceal her surprise. Uchigawa ordinarily charged cost plus fifteen, and rarely as low as cost plus ten. "Well, it's for Doctor Tofu you see." "When can you finish?" "Oh, mid-day Friday I think, provided we don't have a lot of rain and the local inspectors show up on time. I'm pretty sure they will." "I don't suppose you are going to give me any breaks on Miyagi's?" "Are you kiddin'? I like Miyagi, but he's a pain in the ass to work for." "What if I keep him out of your hair?" "Keep him out of my hair and I'll do the job at cost plus ten. Believe it or not, that will cost you less than having the job done on a fixed price contract." "I'll let you know." Nabiki had no doubts that Uchigawa was right. Miyagi always tried to squeeze more than he should out of contractors, not realizing that Nabiki had already squeezed them down as far as they could go. It led to friction, delays and claims for extra work. "Meet me there at ten or so?" "Sure." "Have you seen Doctor Tofu?" "Oh, he's in the clinic. The cops brought his missing patient back," Uchigawa said with a shudder, "The poor, ugly schmuck tried to get on a local train wearing nothing but a hospital gown and didn't have any money for fare." Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Wait'll you see the guy. Wanna bet me this one makes the evening news?" "Not until and unless I've seen the guy." "Believe me, you don't want to look at him." "Oh?" "Word I get is that your old man used him for a naginata last night." Nabiki actually groaned out loud, which made Uchigawa laugh. "See you later, Uchigawa-san." "You bet! Say, how about lunch?" "I'll let you know. I suspect I won't have the time." "Aw fooey!" Uchigawa said, mocking sharp disappointment. Nabiki gave him her best, "I'm flattered you think I'm sexy smile," then let the matter drop by walking off towards the clinic's back door. The truth of the matter was there was only one face she really wanted to see and she would not be able to carry on for the rest of the day until she saw for herself that he was unhurt. Holding her pace to a walk took nearly all the self- control she could muster. She breathed a sigh of relief to find Ranma and Akane in the same examination room as before, studying as though nothing all that exciting had happened. "Good morning, Nabiki-aneechan." "Yo, Nabiki!" "Hi, guys. So what happened last night?" "It's sort of my fault," Akane said. "I had a nightmare," Ranma said. "I talked him into eating pizza for supper last night," Akane said. "Lots and lots of pizza," Ranma said. "With everything but anchovies," Akane said. "Including jalapenos and this ground, red-pepper junk," Ranma said. "So? What happened? You belched in the lobby and blew the wall down?" "Well no, not exactly," Ranma said. "He lost control of his ki, Nabiki," Akane said. "Lost
control of his ki?" "Yeah, I got to sleep walkin' and while I was in the lobby I, uh, I sorta froze everything." "Froze everything?" "Yeah, it got pretty cold." "And then you kicked the wall down?" "No! I didn't kick nothin'! All I did was yell real loud." Ranma looked so shame-faced that it was all Nabiki could do not to hug him in front of Akane, but she managed to hide her feelings by laughing instead. "Maybe we should find you another place to recuperate, Ranma." "I really am sorry about this, Nabiki. I'll find a way to pay you back, I promise." "Okay, Saotome," Nabiki said with a coolness she by no means felt, "I'll put it on your tab. You're lucky, you know. The contractor thinks well of Doctor Tofu. He's only going to charge us two-hundred-thousand yen for this little job." Ranma and Akane both stared in horror. Nabiki had to suppress a laugh. She would never really demand that Ranma pay for the damages. She was going to make Happosai pay for it all. Not only was he primarily responsible, he could afford it. Under ordinary circumstances the old man was too elusive for her to gain any leverage over, but today, well, today he was in very bad need of one Nabiki Tendo. Only Nabiki could help him right now. Nabiki had little doubt but what he would pay for nearly anything she asked him to pay for, and pay willingly. Still, it did not hurt to let Ranma know what his lack of control cost. Nabiki had great faith in the carrot and stick system, especially when it came to dealing with Martial Artists. "Where's Doctor Tofu?" "Down the hall with another patient," Akane said, "but don't go in there. Wait for him to come back out." "Yeah! Believe me, you don't wanna see the other patient!" Ranma added. Both he and Akane visibly shuddered. Akane looked as though she might become physically ill. "Daddy must have done one heck of a job on the poor jerk," Nabiki said. "Daddy?" Akane asked, clearly alarmed. Ranma's eyebrows disappeared beneath his bangs with shock. "Yeah, he picked a fight with Daddy over at Miyagi's last night," Nabiki said. In truth, she had did not know that this was the case yet, but the best defense was almost always an aggressive offense, especially when the bay of legal beagles could be heard off in the distance. With a little luck and the right kind of pressure, the guy might even cough up a contribution towards the damages at Miyagi's. The funny thing about brawls at Miyagi's was how many men would come by the payday after a brawl and give her money. It was a good thing, too. The Tendo's very often needed it. "Wow!" Ranma said. "Daddy, did...that?" Akane said, staring off into the distance. "'Fraid so," Nabiki said cheerfully, "You guys got anything ready to turn in at school?" Much to Nabiki's schock and surprise, both of them did. Ranma handed her a surprisingly large quantity of paper. "I'll have a lot more ready by this afternoon," Ranma said. "So will I," Akane added. "Okay, I'll send someone over to pick it up around two, will that be okay?" They nodded their assent. "Good morning, Nabiki. How are you today?" Tofu asked from right behind Nabiki, giving her something of a start. Nabiki wondered if Tofu weren't really a ninja. "Oh, I'm fine. I guess you could be having a better day though, huh?" "I suppose, but I chose to practice here Nerima because it's never dull." They stepped out into the hallway together and strolled towards the cubbyhole Tofu used for an office. "I have a contractor here already. They should have everything cleaned up by ten this morning and he says he can have everything good as new by noon Friday if it doesn't rain." "Nabiki! I haven't even called my insurance company yet!" "Don't call 'em. We'll take care of it." "Are you sure? This is going to be expensive." "We're the Tendo Clan, Doctor Tofu," Nabiki said with a slight catch in her throat, as she gave a glance back towards the room Ranma and Akane were in, "We take care of our own." "Oh?" Tofu asked, sounding a wee bit dubious. "I am _not_ the monster I'm made out to be, Sensei." "I figured as much. Anything else you'd like to talk about?" "No, not--not now. I've got to get out of here and get to school. I just wanted to stop by and make sure things were, ah, moving along." "All right, but remember, I'm here if you need me." "Thank you, Sensei," Nabiki said, "Gotta run!" "Thanks, Nabiki!" Tofu called after her. Nabiki turned but kept walking towards the back door, "They'll probably want to replace all the tile in the lobby, and may even want to replace all of the paneling. It will save a lot of time searching for matching material." "That's fine," Tofu said as he held the
door for Nabiki. "Uchigawa-san will bring samples by later." "Okay." Tofu shook his head in wonder as Nabiki turned and walked on down the street. He watched as she produced a cellular telephone and began dialing numbers. Tofu sighed. "Sooner or later I'll be treating her for stress symptoms. Pity she's starting out so young," Tofu said aloud to himself, "Poor kid has never had a childhood." ----------- Far, far to the north and west of Nerima, Prince Haabu (Herb), Heir to the Throne of the Musk Dynasty sat in his treasure room staring at an ancient statue of a dragon. It had been made of drawn strands of copper that were then woven into a frame that was soldered together with silver. Lapis lazuli of the deepest blue had been cunningly carved and polished to form the dragon's scales. Individual pieces of quartz crystal, polished until they were perfectly transparent had been used to make its teeth and spines. The statuette's eyes had been fashioned from amber. The entire thing had been set upon a great block of oak which in turn sat upon a flat, thin base of onyx. Carved into the oaken base in a script so old that Haabu could not decipher it, were the words "Danger! Do Not Touch." It was large for piece of statuary intended to be kept indoors, almost a half-meter in height. Last night it did something Prince Haabu had been told it could and might do someday, but he never expected it to do--it sang. Well, assuming of course you understood that the word "sing" was here being used in the same manner as "singing sword." It had been more of humming ring. While it sang, two of the five toes on each of its feet fell off. Dawn on this Wednesday morning found Prince Haabu still sitting before the now silent dragon, staring at it as he clinched in his left fist, the eight toes it had shed. Somewhere in the Japan, a new dragon had been born. Haabu was fairly sure he knew who the new dragon was. What he needed to decide now was what, if anything, he should do about this surprising development. The old writings indicated that a great many things should be done, but Haabu mistrusted much of what they said. Times had changed in ways that those long-dead authors had no way of anticipating. He did not think that blindly following the edicts of tradition would lead to the wisest of actions. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed sound advice and there was only one place where such advice would be available to him. "Raima! Minto!" (Lime and Mint) "Yes, My Lord Haabu?" They chorused. "You will remain here and guard this place with your lives until I return." "My, Lord!" Raima protested, "Surely you do not mean to travel without us?" "I must, friend Raima. This place must be carefully guarded at all times, yet I find that I must go see some one." "How long will you be gone, My Lord Haabu?" Raima asked. He looked thoroughly upset. "Only for two or three days, perhaps five at the very most, but no matter how long I am gone, you two must stay here and keep this place safe. Am I understood?" His servants did not like their orders, but understood them. Haabu was convinced that they would indeed do their best to carry out those orders, but he also knew that leaving the two to their own devices for too long invited a great deal of trouble. He dared not tarry any longer than he must. ----------- High atop a nearby mountain, known in both Qing Hai and Nerima as Houzan (Phoenix Mountain), a very similar occurrence had taken place at the same time. The dragon statuette in possession of the Houzanjin (People of Phoenix Mountain) was exactly the same in its essential features as the one belonging to the Musk Dynasty. The Houzanjin however, were at this time being governed by a committee of elders because their sovereign, referred to by the Houzanjin as Lord Safuron (Saffron), was still in the early stages of regeneration and therefore incapable of exerting leadership. A committee is a truly peculiar life-form in that it possesses six or more stomachs and no brain. The news concerning the dragon in the Land of Wa upset the committee terribly, rendering it even more brainless than usual. After they played hot potato with the issue for twice as long as honor and decorum demanded, they pitched the wretched subject back into the lap of Lord Safuron's eldest advisor. No single member wanted to address the subject, let alone mention the prophecy that predicted such an event. His instructions were to conduct a study, then report back to the committee. The old advisor saw no need for conducting a study of the matter, inasmuch as he had read everything in the Houzanjin's
extensive library, including all ten-thousand of its two-thousand, six-hundred year old, clay tablets. He planned to do exactly what he had already recommended the committee do. He planned to confer with the Most Revered Grandmother of the Joketsuzoku. After all, they already knew everything the Houzanjin could possibly hope to know about such a situation, and if this information was insufficient for the decision making process within the committee, then another, well respected source of information was required. The problem was that the Houzanjin and Joketsuzoku had not been on friendly terms for almost a millennium now, and even though the majority of those sitting on the committee saw the wisdom of the old counsellor's advice, none of them dared to openly agree with him in anything remotely like a public forum. Even though the ruling committee of the Houzanjin was a closed autocracy, and therefore not open to review by the general public, it did have some twenty stomachs and no brain, which meant that as secretive as the committee tried to be, it leaked like a sieve. The ancient scholar was therefore given the authorization to "conduct a study," with no specific instructions on how to conduct such a study, nor was he burdened with restrictions upon the means or manner in which said study was to be conducted. He took this as license to confer with someone in possession of information or sources of information which he did not already have at his disposal. Thus armed, the ancient counsellor paid visit to on Captain Kiima, late of the Houzanjin imperial guard. She, unlike most of her superiors, was capable of making a decision under pressure. She did not always make good decisions, in which case she made more than one decision in quick succession, but she could and did make decisions quickly. Believe it or not, this is a key trait of a good, field officer. A quick decision, irrespective of its quality, is very often the single difference between a glorious victory and crushing defeat. Indecisiveness will almost always result in a crushing defeat, so even a bad decision is better than no decision, but try telling that to a creature with twenty stomachs and less brain power than an inebriated slug. Captain Kiima quickly decided to fill the ancient scholar's request for four powerful, but discrete guardsman to bear him in his palanguin to unspecified places for a duration of one week to two months. By noon Wednesday, he was on his way to a remote little shack situated high up in the end of a box canyon on the outskirts of Joketsu territory. The shack was just a facade. It covered the mouth of a vast cavern wherein the Joketsu safeguarded their library and other treasures, such as their Most Revered Grandmother, with whom the ancient scholar was so desperate to consult. He could expect a gracious welcome despite the less than friendly relationship currently extant between the Houzanjin and Joketsuzoku, because scholars flocked together despite their differences in stripe or feather. He already knew what the Most Revered Grandmother knew about dragons anyway. What he needed to know from her, was what sort of consensus was growing among the Joketsu, or what sort of consensus she was trying to foster in the leadership of her people. They were faced with a situation in which the two tribes desperately needed to put aside ancient feuds so that they could cooperate to mutual benefit. United they may or may not manage to stand, but by remaining divided they were certain to fall and would fall quite hard. ----------- "Welcome, Lord Haabu! May I get you some tea?" the Joketsu girl asked as soon as she saw who was standing at the door. She showed no surprise. "Just water thank you. It has been a long walk," Haabu said. It had indeed been a long walk. He had skirted around the bulk of Joketsu territory to reach this place. "Of course, Lord Haabu. Please be seated. Most Revered Grandmother will see you very soon." "Thank you," Haabu said as he sat down. He wondered if the old woman would insist upon speaking with him here, in the tiny little house that hid the entrance to the Joketsu Treasury. He had been but a small child the last time he had visited the place. The girl brought him a glass of water. The water was clear, cool and sweet, as only the water from a mountain stream can taste. He emptied it greedily and the girl refilled it from a pitcher. He drank half the second glass without stopping and she refilled it yet again. "That is enough," Haabu told the girl. She bowed and left, leaving him with his thoughts. They were not pleasant thoughts. Of his own people, only he and two
others remained alive. For almost two-thousand years his people had been a terrible force to be reckoned with. They were still formidable but with only three of their number left, it mattered little. The world had changed. They would now change with it or become extinct. The change he was contemplating however, would no doubt cause his honorable ancestors to sputter with fury. Let them sputter, he thought, I do what I must. "Lord Haabu?" "Yes?" "Most Revered Grandmother is now available, and requests the honor of your august presence." "Very well," Haabu said as he rose to his feet. "Follow me, please." The girl led him to the back of tiny house and they proceeded out the back door and into a small, beautifully kept garden. Two incredibly powerful looking Joketsu women in their thirties puttered about the place, looking for weeds to pull. Few gardens looked as neat and as beautifully kept as this one, but very few gardens had a couple of bored, Joketsu guards walking about in them all day every day. Not a single leaf was out of place. The rocks in the tiny stream had been arranged and rearranged until the notes it made were perfect. The place practically oozed patience and calm. Haabu knew that it was a deadly sort of calm. The women who worked this garden were formidable ki adepts and would have no qualms about sacrificing tranquility to see their duties carried out. The girl led him to an outcrop of stone from the canyon wall and motioned for him to stand next to her. As he did so, she rang a tiny bell. Part of the cliff face of swung out just far enough for a person to enter. He followed the girl inside. The entry way opened into a small chamber, deliberately made small so as to serve as a choke point. He was greeted by a halfdozen, heavily armed Joketsu. None of them were very friendly looking and all of them gave him hard stares. He knew that they were reading his ki for hostile intent. Haabu reminded himself not to bristle at their effrontery. It was a necessary part of their job. What they guarded here was not only irreplaceable, but might well prove deadly for the whole of humanity should it get into the wrong hands. After several moments of inspection one of the guards rang a tiny bell and the portcullis at the end of the entry way began to rise with clanking and clatter of chains. Obviously, the Joketsu had not elected to install electrically driven winches. This made sense to him. What might well have struck the uninitiated as a waste of labor was actually a good security measure. The portcullis could only be raised by someone inside who used their muscles. This way there would be no electronic circuitry to short, nor automated mechanisms to exploit. The only way in was by approval or by treachery. The vast cavern beyond the portcullis was well lit, much better lit than it had been when he last visited the place. A quick glance upwards told him that the Joketsu had added quite a few fluorescent lights to the incandescent lighting that had been in place before. Haabu wondered how long it had taken the Joketsu men to work this subterranean wonder. Even though the entire thing had been carved from native rock, the walls, ceiling, and floor had been carefully dressed smooth. The floor had been paved with fine marble and polished until it shone like a mirror. The walls were painted with glorious frescoes of men and women casting nets from graceful, lateen rigged ships floating upon beautiful blue seas, or performing kata on sacred ground, or fighting bulls, or simply dancing in gardens graced with exotic looking flowers. The great pillars which supported the roof were wider at the top than they were at the bottom. Each one had been carefully dressed, then painted a lovely crimson color which was different from the reds typically used in the rest of China. The place was not a single, great chamber. Great hallways led off in different directions with side passages and many rooms both large and small. Numerous stair ways led up and down to even more great hallways and rooms. It was the reflection of an ancient past both glorious and tragic. Haabu found himself wishing he could have visited this place more often. The treasury was crowded with women cleaning or repairing things, then putting them back in their places of storage. Several women were busily working at transcribing ancient texts written on tablets of clay, or stone or bronze, onto scrolls made of fine paper. Here there was treasure enough to sate even the greediest of hearts, and knowledge enough to employ an army of archeologists and scholars for a century or more. Sadly, much of it was knowledge
which must be kept hidden for many years to come. He followed his escort as they wound around and up and down through the great labyrinth until Haabu was thoroughly lost and they arrived at the audience chamber of the Most Revered Grandmother. This room was surprisingly intimate and informally arranged. It was equipped with couches and a low table rather than chairs. The table was made from an onyx not to be found anywhere on earth since the destruction of their homeland. The couches had been carved from the native rock and covered with cushions of local manufacture, but the floor was covered by a rug, carefully woven from dyed wool and of a middle-eastern design unknown to the rest of the world. The lighting was soft, almost natural, but this was because it was lit by lamps of design so ancient and so secret that only a handful of people knew of their existence. Haabu remembered the room quite well, having been here several times before as a child. None of it was surprising to him, except that there was a man in the room with the Most Revered Grandmother. A man almost as ancient as she and a Houzanjin. Haabu had never met the man, but quickly deduced his identity. He had to be Count Chervil, First Councellor to Lord Safuron. "Welcome, Haabu!" Most Revered Grandmother said, "It is good to see you again." Haabu smiled inwardly to himself. Coming from anyone else, especially a woman, such a greeting would have been insolent, but the Most Revered Grandmother had never been a respecter of titles or position and at her age, everyone was either a child or a potential student. She respected a person strictly for their individual merits and nothing else. "Greetings, Revered Grandmother. I am pleased to see you again." "Meet Count Chervil of the Houzanjin." "I am honored to meet you, Treasured Scholar," Haabu said to the ancient old man. "It brings me great pleasure to meet with you, Prince Haabu." "Tell me, Haabu of the Musk," Revered Grandmother said in a loud voice, "Have you eaten today?" This gave Haabu considerable pause. She had interrupted the flow of his and Chervil's greetings. Deliberately no doubt. The old woman had patience for strict formalities only when it suited her. Again Haabu smiled inwardly, remembering how his father had behaved as he had gotten older. He would often use the excuse of a visitor to eat something the doctor said he should avoid. No doubt, Revered Grandmother was not above using the same ploy. The truth was he was hungry, but he wondered if he should give her an excuse to violate her doctor's orders. No doubt, Count Chervil was himself on an "old person's" diet. Were it not for Haabu's presence, Revered Grandmother's custodians would have served them per doctor's orders. The old woman was looking much more frail than she did when he had last seen her. She probably would not live much longer no matter what sort of diet she ate . "I have not eaten since noon yesterday, Revered Grandmother." "Hah!" the old woman hooted with joy, confirming Haabu's suspicions. "Then we'll have a meal brought to us while we chat." "Tea, Haabu?" "Yes, please." "Count Chervil?" "Thank you, yes." One of Revered Grandmother's trusted attendants appeared as if by magic and began serving tea. "So my young Prince, what brings you so far from home?" Revered Grandmother asked as a sly smile played upon her lips. "A new dragon springs up in the Land of Wa," Haabu answered coolly. Dragons begat dragons, but some dragons were selfmade, this was all part of ancient lore. Sometimes an ordinary being of extraordinary spirit made itself into a dragon. Sometimes it was a carp swimming up a swift running rapid during the spring flood, other times it was a man contending with terrible odds. This time the new dragon was a man. A man with whom Prince Haabu was familiar. "Do you know who or what this dragon springs from?" Revered Grandmother asked. "Yes. It is a man." "A man?" Count Chervil asked. "Yes. As it happens, I know this man. His name is Ranma Saotome." "You know the Saotome child?" Revered Grandmother asked, feigning mild surprised. "I have fought with him, Revered Grandmother. He is a man to be respected." "I see," both the older people said together. Both understood at once that Haabu was admitting that he had been defeated by Ranma Saotome, just as Haabu intended them to understand. "I suppose you know that he has fought with Lord Safuron," Count Chervil said. "Yes," Haabu said, again smiling inwardly. Leave it to Ranma to run afoul of that one, he thought. "The fact has been brought to my attention." In truth, the matter would
have been difficult to ignore, given that Jusendo Mountain was now little more than a hill, just as Horaisan (Treasure Mountain) had been reduced to a pile of rubble in Japan. "So, you have come to tell us about this new dragon, Prince Haabu?" "I thought it a good excuse for more than one thing, Revered Grandmother. Much has changed here in the Middle Kingdom. The tried and true is no longer quite so effective as it was in the past." Both of the older people looked at him with respect they had not shown him before. At that very moment, their meal arrived. This gave Haabu time to carefully consider what he would say next. The matter at hand was quite delicate, but he suspected that Chervil's presence here at this particular time meant that he was not alone in his assessments of their plight, the plight of the entire region around Jusenkyo. He was not at all sure that either of these old people would approve of his plan. Whether they did or not, either or both were likely to tell him something he needed to know. In any case, what he had in mind would not have been possible had Safuron been in a position to oppose it. As matters now stood, the plan was still very unlikely to ever be completely implemented, but without Safuron's opposition at least a great part of it was possible. "When the dragon speaks, yin and yang will mingle," Revered Grandmother said with a chuckle. The quote was quite ancient but it had special meaning insofar as both Haabu and Saotome were concerned. "So what is it you intend to try, Prince Haabu?" "The roast chicken looks delicious," Haabu said, knowing his declaration would amuse the elderly woman. She did indeed cackle. He said nothing more until he and they had removed the edge from their hunger. "My political situation is rather simple, compared to that of many in our region," Haabu said. He paused to sip his tea and see if this got a reaction. He was rewarded with a pair of rueful smiles. "This affords me a great deal of flexibility in many respects. In large part, I am constrained only by the disapproval of my honorable ancestors and certain possessions which must either be carefully safeguarded, or utterly destroyed." Revered Grandmother and Count Chervil exchanged significant glances. "These possessions do not belong to me alone and I am therefore loathe to see them destroyed." "Are you going to request guards of the Joketsu as you did the last time you traveled?" Revered Grandmother asked. "No. I am afraid that would be too much of an imposition, if not unwise. I am seeking a safe place to store them until such time as I can retrieve them." Haabu said nothing more and watched as the elderly people's eyes widened with shock, then smiled to himself as they began to turn blue. Neither of them seemed able to breath. "I could make inquiries about such a place, if you like Prince Haabu," Revered Grandmother said with something of a gasp. She was by that time in great need of air. "That would be most kind of you, Revered Grandmother," Haabu said, granting her a genuine smile, "There is one other thing I would ask of you if it is not too much an inconvenience." "Of...of course, Prince Haabu! Ask what you will." "There are certain scrolls and tablets in my archives which are either difficult to read, or in need of translation to a more modern script. Would you know of someone who might be capable of such a task?" "I would consider it an honor to look into the matter for you, Prince Haabu," the old woman said. She managed to maintain a calm demeanor, but Haabu could see that she really wanted to leap up off her couch and click her heels together. Count Chervil looked as though he might faint from the effort required to remain silent. Haabu smiled at the ancient woman and said, "I am most grateful, Revered Grandmother." "The pleasure is all mine. I assure you, Prince Haabu." Haabu turned his attention to their repast and said nothing more, knowing that the Revered Grandmother needed time to think. She did not take long. "Tell me, Prince Haabu, will you be traveling in the Land of Wa sometime soon?" "I may." "Perhaps then you would do me the honor of traveling with my envoy. I am sending him with a suitable escort to Nerima, in the Land of Wa." "Will you be sending this dispatch soon?" "As soon as certain important arrangements can be made, yes." "I would be delighted to safeguard your envoy, Revered Grandmother. It is the least I could do under the circumstances." Count Chervil had the air of a man whose tail feathers had been set on fire, but refused to spoil his urbanity by giving it any notice. This amused Haabu. He
understood quite well the import of the tentative agreement he and the Revered Grandmother had just reached. Some among the Houzanjin would become quite upset. Others would be delighted. Thank the kami and Saotome that Safuron had be reduced to a mere child. Otherwise a war would break out before he managed to return home. As things now stood, Haabu could afford to wait a day or two and see what developed. War among the three great tribes was the least likely of the possible outcomes he had weighed. If everything went perfectly, however unlikely that might be, then the three tribes might well find themselves covered in something like their original glory. All he could do at the moment though was to exercise his patience. The matter was now in Revered Grandmother's capable hands. "Tell me, Prince Haabu," the old woman said between sips of tea, "What do you think of the old prophecy?" "My father taught me that prophecy was merely a political tool. It should only be used after careful consideration," Haabu paused to take a deep breath, "and then used only with the greatest of caution." This answer amused both of Haabu's older companions. He was not surprised. His father was as superstitious as anyone you would hope to meet and put great stock in the old prophecies. Haabu had lost his enthusiasm for them early on. His father's teachings in this respect consisted of bad examples. Some of those examples had been very costly for the Musk. Haabu had yet to forget the smell of cordite mixed with smell of torn up dirt that had been soaked with blood and urine. Even worse was the memory of PLA troops laughing at the twitching and dying bodies of fallen Musk. His people had learned a hard lesson about machine gun nests, interlocking fields of fire and prophecy that day. "You must be tired, my Lord Haabu," the old woman said, "Would you like a bath and a place to sleep the night?" "That is most gracious of you, Revered Grandmother." The old woman waved at one of her assistants and the girl led Prince Haabu away. "Well, Paama, he shows great intelligence to be such a stuffy, young man." "Yes, he is very intelligent," Revered Grandmother said with a smile, "And a little too pompous." "Do you think he is serious about enlisting the Musk back into the service of the Joketsuzoku?" "Only if certain conditions are met, Chervil," Revered Grandmother said. "I am fairly sure that he has the same thing in mind as we do. Remember, the reason the Musk went their own way before is because we refused to listen to them concerning matters of defense. No one who knows any history has ever questioned the loyalty of the Musk, only their perspective and wisdom." "I still question their perspective on certain issues, but I never doubted their judgement in matters of defense. We relied too much upon our isolation. The Joketsu relied too much upon politics and diplomacy. Now we are in a trap." "The Musk have not done that much better, Chervil. Of course, they may not have attempted to defy Beijing had we listened so many years ago. They are not necessarily loyal to us. They always considered themselves the Guardians of the Knowledge first and defenders of the people second. They were intended to be the last line of defense, remember?" "So you think Prince Haabu has more than one purpose for visiting the Land of Wa." "Yes. I have it on good authority that the Saotome child saved his life. He owes the child a life debt. Visiting him at this time would make sense, especially if Haabu can offer the child some help, but that will not be the sole purpose of his visit." "You believe he goes to choose a place to store the archives." "I am certain that he will and I agree with him. As powerful as our warriors are, even if combined with those of the Houzanjin, we would never be able to hold out against the PLA. Their numbers and their machines would eventually conquer us. Not even Lord Safuron would be able to defeat them in a pitched battle, and because we are constrained to defend these archives, a pitched battle would be inevitable. The archives must be moved." "You know Paama, the People's Lumber Company is already cutting the forests on the lower slopes of Mount Phoenix. This action has alarmed many, but I have cautioned our people against resistance. So far, they have agreed. Fortunately, they tend towards timidity without Lord Safuron to support them." "You have seen what is happening here. Already a tenth of our people have had their farms wrecked by mud slides or flooded by silted streams. Beijing seems to think a hundred yuan a month replaces a farm. It cannot go on.
Will your council object to your moving Houzanjin archives?" "Oh, there will be some protest to be sure, but nothing I cannot handle. Moving the treasures and weapons will be another matter altogether. I have contingency plans for destroying the more potent items." "The costs for relocating these archives to the Land of Wa is going to be significant," Revered Grandmother said. "I realize that, but you needn't worry. The mineral wealth found in Mount Phoenix is considerable. A lack of money will be the least of our worries. Inexplicable money will be the problem." "Agreed. Now then Chervil, what of relocating your people?" "I was going to ask you the same thing." "I am advocating it. Many think it is a good idea. A few old hotheads want to stay here and fight, but I think wisdom will prevail in the end. This place is not safe and never will be again. Should war break out between Beijing and the Western Barbarians this entire region will be reduced to a bubbling sea of glass." "Would they do that?" Count Chervil asked, sounding horrified. "The people I sent west to find out assure me that they would. The peoples of China are almost too numerous for them to fight in a conventional war. They will take no chances with the toys Beijing has buried just to the east of us. My preference would be to relocate the Joketsuzoku to the Barbarian Gold Mountain, but they are watchful of their borders and their government is intrusive when it comes to taxation. Relocating all the Joketsuzoku and our archives to that place unnoticed would be extremely difficult. The Land of Wa is much closer and the Wa, for the first time in centuries, are being a little more accommodating towards foreigners." "The Houzanjin are very reluctant to settle elsewhere, as you can well imagine. All but a tiny fraction of our numbers would need to bathe at Jusenkyo first. No one willingly gives up the ability to fly, Paama. I must confess, I am deeply concerned for my people. I do not know what will become of them." "You must keep trying, Chervil. They cannot hold Mount Phoenix by force, not even with Safuron's help could such a thing be done. Once Beijing hears how unique your people are, they will live out their days in a laboratory. Those fools in Beijing will not consider your people to be human." "I will do all that I can, Paama. What of this young dragon? Is he descended from those of the Second Fleet?" "I am not sure. Our people in the Land of Wa think so, and we have found names in the archives that are quite similar to his and also that of the local girl to whom he is betrothed." "He is betrothed to a local girl as well as one of your own? It sounds as though that situation has become rather complex." "Yes, it has been, um, complicated, but the child's gift provides us with an opportunity to resolve the matter." "Be honest with me, Paama. You intend to dispatch your token with Haabu, do you not?" "Assuming I can work out a plan of action with the Council of Elders, yes." "Then I will return to Phoenix Mountain on the morrow. We both have a great deal to accomplish." "Have you chosen your successor, Chervil?" "I have had four or five candidates in mind for several decades now, but none of them really wants the responsibility. That is why I think there would be little trouble over moving our portion of the archives here. What about you?" "I have chosen mine. She is a very capable and honest individual, but also very wise in the ways of people." "Have you told her?" "No. She almost certainly thinks she is destined to become Senior of the Council. The arrival of my token will change all of that." "Oh, I see! You expect the full support of both her friends and her rivals." Revered Grandmother made no answer, other than to smile. "Then I gather you will be visiting the Land of Wa soon." "Yes, such a visit will be necessary." "I should very much like to see you again before you leave." "I will let you know well in advance, Chervil. I am sure we will have much to discuss prior to my departure." Chervil had not said what was on his mind, but it was easily read. He was blinking back tears. "I should be very grateful for that, Paama. We have not seen enough of one another over all these years." Chervil paused to regain his control. "It is late. Perhaps I should give these old bones of mine a rest, Paama." "I understand, Chervil. The days are too long and the nights too short for me as well, nowadays. Good night, my old friend." "Sleep well, Paama." An attendant came and escorted Count Chervil to his quarters, leaving the Revered Grandmother of the Joketsuzoku to her own thoughts and fatigue. So much to do. So very much to do and so very
little time. Revered Grandmother sighed. All things must end, no matter their names and my end is near she thought, let us hope I can do all that I must before it comes.
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Comes The Cold Dragon His name is Norio Ohga. He is the one with the quick reflexes and no sense of humor. His partner's name is Tetsuro Shirikawa. His reflexes are fast, but not as fast as Ohga's. His is the brighter mind of the pair. They went to high school together. They dated the same girls. They both loved to drive fast. That is why they went to the police academy together. So they could take turns driving fast legally. So that they could take turns driving fast legally in a car that was made to go fast from scratch that they would not have to pay for. They love their job. They even love the people they pull over. They especially love the truckers and the motorcyclists. They love the motorcyclists the most because the motorcyclists usually give them an excuse to drive really fast, but they do dearly love truckers. Oh, Kami-sama! They love truckers almost as much as dogs love trucks. They are behind one now on this fine, clear Wednesday morning after Akane's aborted wedding. They are following a tank truck headed west on the expressway in the northwestern quadrant of Tokyo. The truck is traveling along at one hundred and five kilometers per hour, fifteen kilometers per hour faster than the law allows a truck to travel on Tokyo's express ways. "Okay, Norio! I got him," Shirikawa says as he looks up from his little laptop, "He's Yoshinao Nakada and we've busted him before. His log book is never in order. Blip, 'em!" Ohga steers a little to the right so that he can see the trucker's mirror, then turns on the prowler's flashers and blips the siren. The trucker responds immediately with his left blinker and backs out of his throttle. Ohga slows the prowler in sync. The trucker pulls his rig over onto the shoulder and stops, then turns on his emergency flashers. "I'll do the talkin' this time, Norio old buddy. Keep your seat." "Why you?" "'Cause we don't need another collar this week, that's why." Ohga gives forth with an exasperated sigh, but makes no objection. Shirikawa gets out of the prowler and approaches the truck. Nakada is already holding his logbook and licenses out the window. "Hey, howzit goin', Yoshi?" "Oh, it's been a pretty good day so far, Officer," Nakada says. "Is yer logbook in order?" "Oh, I think so. I ain't as good at math as I used to be." "Well I guess I'd better give it quick audit then, hadn't I?" "I reckon that'd be best, Officer." Shirikawa opens the logbook. There are two, five- thousand yen notes bound to the second page with a paper clip. Shirikawa slips the bills into his shirt pocket, then begins filling out a form on his clipboard. "Oi! Yoshi" "Yes, sir?" "You do realize how fast you was goin', right?" "I wuz only doin' a hunnert and five!" "Yoshi, Yoshi, Yoshi! You know you aren't s'posed drive this thing over ninety!" "Aw, come on, boss! I got forty-thousand liters o' milk in this thing. You want the school kids ta do wi'out milk?" "What can I say, Yoshi? The law's the law. Tell you what, since you been so nice about it, I'm gonna let you off with a warnin' this time, okay?" "I really appreciate that, Officer. I promise to keep an eye on my speedometer from now on." "I'm sure you will, Yoshi! Sign here." Nakada doesn't look all that
happy, but he signs the citation and hands the clipboard back down. Shirikawa tears out Nakada's copy and hands it up to him. "Drive carefully, Yoshi!" "I will, boss." Shirikawa returns to the prowler with a spring in his step. Once inside he hands Ohga one of the five-thousand yen notes. Ohga grunts and puts the money in his pocket. "I'll be glad when ball season starts," Ohga says. "Not me. I'd rather have the money." A motorcycle whips by fast enough to rock the prowler. Shirikawa barks like a dog. Ohga grins and tramps down on the prowler's accelerator. "It's a beautiful day, Tetsu!" Shirikawa barks again as he flips on the prowler's flashers and siren. "Woof! Woof, woof! Woof!" "Have I called you an idiot today?" "Woof?" "You _are_ an idiot." "Woof!" ----------- Xian Pu made it to Nerima's little fish market with her second set of orders on time, despite the rear wheel of her bicycle rubbing against the frame. The men here were all large and well muscled, and all of them appreciated Xian Pu for more than just the food she delivered. Several had asked if she were married, many more did not seem to care. One of them foolishly tried to pat her butt. Xian Pu seized his hand with thumb and forefinger, applying just enough pressure to the right places to make the big man drop to his knees. "That not nice! You no be good little boy, you have big troubles!" Xian Pu said, leaning so close to the man that their noses nearly touched. The man made a little squeaking noise and nodded his head. The rest of the men roared with laughter. Xian Pu took it all in stride on the surface, but inside she was thoroughly frustrated. She wished Ranma would react to her the way these men did, but Ranma was not the weakling these men were. Xian Pu was fairly certain the every man in Japan except Ranma was silly in this way. All of them weaklings. Ruled by their testicles. There was not a one she had seen that she could not charm out of his britches. They were more foolish than Muu Su, letting their glands run their lives for them. Ranma though, was different. He had not shown the first sign of weakness to this day. Sooner or later though, she would wear him down. All she needed to do was to make sure he stayed single until the temptation became too much. Then, after Xian Pu got through with him, he would beg to be taken back to China. She was determined that she would not share the fate two of her friends had suffered. They had been defeated by men that refused to marry them because they had been too easily defeated. Their shame was so great that they had cut their hair and took jobs working for Revered Grandmother in the archives. The Joketsu did not dominate their men by force. Force was useless against a man worth having. With deliveries made and money collected, she began her trip back to the Nekohanten. Thanks to the problem with the rear wheel of her bicycle, this proved troublesome. She could have just resorted to applying enough power to the pedals to overcome the friction, but she knew from previous experience that this did bad things to the tires. She hated riding a bicycle with a flat, especially a rear flat. A front flat she could cope with rather easily, but the rear tire caused too much trouble when it was flat. Gritting her teeth, she took her time getting back to the restaurant. "Tadaima!" "Hello, Xian Pu," Ko Lon said as she set a bowl of ramen and quart pitcher of cool water on the bar. "Eat now. You won't have time later." "Is like battle!" Ko Lon cackled. "So it is, child. So it is." "Xian Pu having troubles with bicycle, Great- grandmother." "Muu Su!" "I'm on it!" Muu Su grabbed his pliers and both of his screwdrivers, the only tools he had, then went outside. Ko Lon watched him go, muttering under his breath. I guess I really should buy him a decent set of tools, she thought. He's learned more than enough about making do. "Have list, Great-grandmother?" "Here you go, child." Xian Pu took the list and read as she ate. "One of these is a special delivery, Xian Pu. I want you to be extra careful with this particular customer." "Okay, Great-grandmother. What you want Xian Pu to do?" Xian Pu took a deep breath through her nose. "What that smell? You bake bread? Soup smell funny, too." "Yes, child. Now listen carefully..." ----------- Nabiki decided to skip school once she got a look at what was left of Miyagi's. Nearly every last yen of her cut from the betting pools and every other scam she had going this week would now be poured into the bedraggled sake parlor. It was infuriating. This week promised to be a record and she wouldn't see a dime of it, thanks to Happosai. She
caught the bus and got off at the stop nearest post office. She needed cash for Happosai's bail. She did not expect to be getting him out of jail today, but it never hurt to be prepared. He might agree to whatever she demanded without encouragement. Cash in hand, she caught another bus and rode it to the stop nearest the Nerima Ward's police station. Hopefully, they would still be holding the old man there. If she did not get him out today, they would probably transfer him downtown. Getting the old pervert out after that would just about double the expense, but Nabiki was very much inclined to let him go there and stay cooped up with nothing but men for company for a week or so. The authorities could hold him for up to twenty-days without even allowing him a phone call if they wanted, but then they might turn around and bill him for his stay in their luxurious accommodations. They almost never did such a thing of course, but they could anytime it suited them. It was one of the cops' favorite threats against chronic brawlers. The desk sergeant recognized Nabiki when she walked in, even though it had been a while. Yes, she could see Happosai. Sure, they could transfer him downtown and hold for a few days if she wanted him too. The old man had been getting on their nerves for the past few months anyway. No, they wouldn't say anything to Happi. Great idea to let him to stew in the dark for a few days. How was Genma? Oh, he was in the zoo again. Big laugh. Soun's in bed again, right? Another big laugh. Happosai clanked and rattled out into the visitors area wearing the two-hundred kilograms of chain suit that the Nerima Ward station had gone to the trouble and expense of having made special, just for Happosai. He did not look very happy. "Good morning, Ojiisan!" Nabiki said cheerfully. "Hello, Nabiki." "How was breakfast?" she asked. She knew full well they did not serve breakfast in jail. Prisoners got two meals a day. One at noon and one at six in the evening. Her asking did not improve Happosai's moral any, which was exactly what she wanted. "You know they don't serve breakfast in this place!" "I'm sorry, Ojiisan," Nabiki said contritely as she struggled to suppress a smirk. "I forgot." "How come they put me in a cell instead of the drunk tank?" "You mean you don't know?" "Know what?" Happosai asked, very clearly alarmed. "They are charging you with indecent exposure." "What? Why?" "They said nice young ladies like me shouldn't have to listen to sordid details." "Nice my ass! I wanna know what's going on." "Now, Gramps!" "Well find out!" "I tried, but they won't tell me anything. You'll just have to ask them yourself." "They won't talk to me. They haven't told me anything other than tellin' me to hire a lawyer!" "Ooh, sounds expensive." "What about bail?" "I don't have it." "What do you mean you don't have it?" "Well, they said if Miyagi didn't press charges they would go a little easier on you, so I have to make sure his place gets fixed, right?" "Oh, boy." "Uh, huh. And you remember that little bomb you clobbered Ranma with?" "Yeah, so?" "So, it did something funny to his head. He's lost control of his ki. Now every time he goes to sleep, he generates cold ki." "Cold ki? So? What's that got to do with the price of tea?" "Last night he generated so much cold ki that Tofu's clinic collapsed." "Oh, shit!" Happosai looked more than a little alarmed by this. "I thought that, but didn't say it. As you can imagine, we're a little short on cash at the moment." "Oh, shit!" Happosai clapped boht his hands on the top of his bald head. "Oh, dear!" Nabiki did her best Kasumi imitation. "They said you would be transferred downtown this afternoon. You ought to be happy about that. They said the food is a lot better there." Happosai turned green. This did not surprise Nabiki at all. The jail downtown was always overcrowded, usually three prisoners to a cell. While Happosai had little to fear from even the worst of that lot, the prospect of being confined in a small space with two other men would probably make him ill. "Is there someone I can call for you?" Happosai turned purple. "You aren't going to help me at all, are you?" "I'll do everything I can, Ojiisan, but there isn't much I can do." "Surely you've found out how much it is going to take to get me out of here!" "Mmm, hmm." "Well how much?" Happosai nearly screamed. "Only ten-million yen." "Ten-million yen!" "Uh, huh. Something about what happened to the jail the last time you were in here." This was ridiculous of course. Repairs to the jail were a normal part of the city budget, but it never hurt to
browbeat Happosai whenever you got him over a barrel. "Oh, boy." "I don't know how you did it, Gramps, but you managed to piss off just about everybody in Nerima this week." "I guess I have been overdoing it a little." "You might say that, yes." "You're pissed at me, too." "Me? Never. I just stay out of the way and enjoy the show." "All right. You win, Nabiki. You know where my seal is." "Yes." "Do you still have my account number?" "Of course." "How long will it take to get me out?" "Ten days, I think." "Ten days!" "They really are pissed this time, Gramps." "Damn!" "Gotta, run!" "Just be sure you don't take anymore than I need from that account! It earns good interest." "Have I ever cheated you?" "No, you just take advantage of an old man's folly that's all." "That's what pretty girls like me are for, Gramps," Nabiki said with a winning smile. "Get me out of here as quick as you can, Nabiki. I don't think I can stand ten days of nothing but men.!" "I'll try my best, Ojiisan!" Nabiki said as she got up and undulated towards the door. Happosai's chains began rattling. Nabiki left chuckling to herself. This little snafu was only going to cost about five-million yen, but now she would have enough reserve to cover the next phase of this still unfolding disaster--she hoped. Things would without doubt become exciting again once Ranma was out of the clinic and Happosai was out of jail. Well, both of them would need a week or so to recharge once they got out, but chances were good that more money would be needed. Nabiki did not really mind the trouble. She just considered it to be training. The founder of the Anything Goes School of Capitalism needed to be the best at her Chosen Art, ne? Riding on the bus she started thinking about the tapes of Akane's recent clash with the Hentai Brigade. She had a potential best seller there if she could improve it a little. Quite a few people had asked about already. It needed editing and a good sound track. She began replaying the video's in her head, thinking about what needed to be cut and what sort of transitions to use between edits. During this process a violent piece of organ music came to mind, but it took a while for her to remember the title. It was Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. She remembered that an old movie with lots of fight scenes had used Bach's masterpiece for its musical theme. It had been a good choice and would work beautifully again. She whipped out one of her cellular telephones and called Gosunkugi. He was good with video. All she had to do was give him a general idea of what she wanted. The sooner he got to work on it, the sooner they could start making more money from video sales. ----------- It became considerably easier to study once Uchigawa's work crews installed a temporary partition between the lobby and the rest of the building. He even erected a temporary stairway with his scaffolding so his men could go through a second story window rather than use the stairwell inside. Surprisingly, few of Tofu's patients seemed to mind all that much. Several came in and caught up on overdue bills. Still it was not quite enough to give Ranma Saotome the edge he needed to concentrate. (You know we gotta do, somethin', Red. We might freeze everyone to death in our sleep.) (So what have you got in mind, Saotome? We could sleep in the alley.) (That probably ain't far enough away.) (Then who'll be watching over Akane, Saotome?) (Oh, man! We got big trouble.) (We could try staying up all night.) (Yeah, but I really don't think we should, Red. We're supposed to be healin' up, remember?) (Hey! We're a lot better today. Haven't been dizzy but once since daylight and that was because you bent over.) (Oh yeah, sure. Like its all my fault! You dropped the soap.) (Saotome? You ever notice how much trouble soap causes us?) (It ain't near as much trouble as water causes us.) (They go together, though.) (Never mind that, Red. What are we gonna do about tonight?) (Hey! I got an idea.) (Okay, shoot.) (We sleep as much as we can during the day, then stay awake all night.) (That might work, but what if we start havin' bad dreams during the day?) (That's the beauty of it, Saotome. Somebody's bound to wake us up before things get out of hand.) (You're right. Talk to Akane about it.) (Oh, so you want _me_ to talk to her now, huh?) (Hey! It was your idea, Red.) (So? You don't mind me cuttin' in, huh?) (Well, I gotta admit. We did do pretty good last night--until we went to sleep that is.) (Yeah, it figures. We're the only person in the world that cause serious trouble in our sleep.) (You know, Red. I hate to say this, but that might actually make us worse to have
around than Happosai.) (If I didn't have to share your mouth, I'd make you eat soap for that.) (We've had enough trouble with soap for a day. Talk to Akane, will ya?) "Yo, Akane!" "What is it, Ranma?" Akane asked, feigning irritation. "I'm gonna get some sleep, okay?" "So?" "So don't let anyone bother me unless I, uh, unless..." "You start your own, personal cold front?" "You know what I mean," Ranma said, doing his best to sound aggravated. "Let me see if Doctor Tofu can give you something to help you sleep." "Just so long as it ain't a high speed, flying barbell or nothin', okay?" "Actually, I was thinking of using his ball bat, but I saw him take it home yesterday." "Kawia-kune no onna!" "You know, Ranma, you used be a pretty nice guy while you were asleep." "Oh, ha-ha! That was a good one," Ranma said, trying to sound sarcastic but grinning through his best efforts to suppress it. Akane left the room and returned in less than five minutes bearing a large tumbler filled with what appeared to be orange juice. "Here. Doctor Tofu says you should drink all of it." "What is it?" "He said it was mostly orange juice with a little potato juice mixed in. Now drink it! Doctor's orders." (Whoa!) (This is some really stout orange juice, Saotome.) (Tell me! What'd he do? Put rocket fuel it?) "Are you okay, Ranma?" Akane asked. "This is orange juice and potato juice?" "That's what Doctor Tofu said." "I'm sleepy already." "Good! Maybe now I can study." "Me bein' asleep won't help you any. You know you can't concentrate while you're around a hunk like me." (Saotome, you jerk!) (Hey! It's part of the act, okay?) Akane stuck her tongue out at him. "Good night, Tomboy." "Get some sleep, baka! I hate guys with baggy eyes." "Yeah, I know. You told me that before. As if I'd care." ----------- By eleven o'clock on the Wednesday following Akane's failed wedding, Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux had finally finished with the American's mountain bike and was trying to decide whether to remove the tires and hang it from the bar-joists of his shop, or if he shouldn't perhaps go ahead and have it crated. Hanging it would mean that every time someone saw it they would ask about it and would want to buy it. Crating it meant an unnecessary expense if the American kid never came through with the rest of the money, which Jean-Luc had to admit was a distinct probability. The boy had taken a very nasty fall. He was hampered in making this decision by the approach of luncheon. At home in France, luncheon had been his favorite meal. Here in Japan it was something of a bore. At home he would have taken a minimum of two hours for a mid- day meal, but here he rarely took longer than thirty minutes. The food here was passable fair for the most part, but nothing like the sumptuous dining available in his beloved France. Here everything had noodles in it, or noodles on the side, or it had sticky, glutenous rice as part of the main course. Jean-Luc despised noodles. Noodles were entirely too Italian for him. He liked his rice light and fluffy, carefully seasoned with saffron, black pepper and a good chicken stock. Oh, well he thought. May as well take a little time today and try what's her name's crepes. They were not anything remotely like French crepes, but they were filling and her waitress was a joy to flirt with. Much to his horror, he was developing a taste for Fiery Steed beer. He really was going to have to visit home soon. This place was ruining his palate. Jean-Luc walked out onto the side walk, then turned and reached up to lower the main door to his shop when his nose froze him in place and pose. The first scent to assail his olfactory never endings of course was freshly scrubbed, but nicely warmed up young woman. The next thing was the assault upon his ears by the screeching and clattering of the incredibly bad piece of commercially made junk so laughingly called a bicycle in Japan, but the real show stopper was the smell of a freshly baked brioche. Jean-Luc could not believe his nose. He sniffed the air. Not only was he smelling a nicely warmed up young woman and a brioche, but a bouillabaisse. In addition to the brioche and bouillabaisse, there was the definite hint of fresh butter. Not just any butter mind you, but fresh butter from a Jersey, not a Holstein cow. "Nihao!" a soft, sexy voice said. Jean-Luc slowly lowered his arm and turned around. She was incredible. Not only was the young woman a treat for the eyes, the power in that young body was unmatched by any cyclist Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux had ever seen. And the aroma emanating from inside the take-out box she held in her right hand was
something he would have willingly killed for right there on the spot. "Good morning," Jean-Luc finally managed to say without spraying. "Great-grandmother send you gift. Is too, too delicious bu ya be su." Jean-Luc forgave her the quaint manner of speech. He even managed to ignore that horrible monstrosity she stood astride. There was a brioche in that box! And a bouillabaisse! And butter! Fresh butter! From a Jersey! Tears came into his eyes. "Gift? For me?" "Yes!" Xian Pu said in her deadliest kawai voice. The one that had been known to bring men to their knees at a hundred meters or more. Jean-Luc reached out with trembling hands and took the box, then walked on unsteady legs back into his shop and set the box down on his desk. Xian Pu followed him, pushing her bike along behind. Ordinarily he would have thrown a fit if someone had defiled his premises with such a rude contraption, but today was different. Today he would forgive, or grant, anything. "Great-grandmother ask how long to make bicycle for Nekohanten. Price no object." "A bicycle?" "Yes." "You are making deliveries with that dreadful wreck?" Xian Pu answered with a silent nod of the head. "Sacrebleu! You poor child!" "Bicycle is mostly bad today. Xian Pu ride it all over Nerima many months now." "I have a bicycle you can use for today. By tomorrow morning, I shall have a new one, tailor made just for those lovely legs." "By tomorrow?" Xian Pu could not help but giggle. Men outside her tribe were so silly. "Mademoiselle, I am Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux! If a thing can be done, it must be done, and it is I, Jean-Luc who will do it for you!" "Xian Pu so happy!" "Merde! Get away from that dreadful thing before it bites you!" Jean-Luc said, referring to her bicycle. Xian Pu looked around for a dog. "Here! Take this machine," he said, bringing out the mountain bike he had just brought to a glittering completion, "It does not really suit you, but I think it will do until I have yours ready." "Aiyaa! Is beautiful bicycle!" "Fah! It's nothing! I made it for an American. Come back here this same time tomorrow and I will have a masterpiece waiting for you, my dear." "What do with old bicycle?" "Oh, leave it here. I will use it to properly size your new machine. Then we will throw it into the scrap bin together, yes?" "Okay. Xian Pu go now. Must make more delivery!" "Fair well, my Goddess!" Jean-Luc said in French. "Bai, bai!" Xian Pu said with her patented, bring 'em to their knees giggle. It was so potent, Jean-Luc watched her pedal completely out of sight before remembering the brioche. "Aiyaah!" he cried as he ran back into his shop. Xian Pu was rather disappointed with her new ride after a block or so. She had to pedal it too much. Then she discovered that it did not have any brakes. Backpedaling resulted in nothing but backpedaling and strange, clicking sounds. This made it necessary for her to dodge in and out of traffic. Once she started to pedal again, she was shocked by two things. The bicycle was much harder to pedal, but was suddenly and inexplicably faster than any bicycle she had ever ridden. Oh, Kami-sama was it fast. Her shirt tail did not merely flutter in the breeze, it made snapping noises. This was both good and bad. It was good because she really and truly appreciated the speed, but it was horribly bad because the damned thing did not have any brakes. It did not have a bell, either. Had it not been for her incredibly fast, Amazon trained reflexes this would have ended in disaster for her. As it was, it made a mess of everything in Nerima between Forges Street and the Nekohanten as she zipped in out of traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian, like a cat with her tail on fire. It was Mousse who rescued her by serving as a crash barrier and soft spot for her to land on. Xian Pu found herself lying on Muu Su face to face. "Xian Pu sorry, Muu Su. New bicycle not have brakes." "It has brakes, Xian Pu." "No it not! Xian Pu try very hard to stop. Hit Muu Su instead." "They are on the handle bars, Xian Pu." "Silly Muu Su! How handle bars stop bicycle?" "Uh, well..." "Pedals work funny, too." "I know. You see it's because it's a different sort of bicycle than what you are used to riding, Xian Pu. Are you okay?" "Xian Pu, okay. How Muu Su?" Xian Pu got up and helped him to his feet, having decided that he had been exposed long enough to refresh his loyalty to her. For a moment she feared that she might have overplayed her hand, as he appeared ready to go into one of his ecsatic, flapping fits. Fortunately, he somehow maintained his self-control. Xian Pu felt vaguely disappointed. "Oh, it's minor.
Nothing to worry about." "Bicycle crazy! First it make Xian Pu pedal too much. Then no stop. Then go very, very fast. Xian Pu no understand." Muu Su fetched the bicycle and whistled once he got a close look at it. "Whoa! This is one of the best mountain bikes I've ever seen." "What is mountain bike?" "It was made to ride in hill country, Xian Pu. Like back home." "Aiyaa! Nerima flat." "Is this the bike he sold you? "No. Silly Frenchmans say bring this back tomorrow. He give Xian Pu better bicycle then. "Come get on it. I'll show you how it works." Xian Pu caught on to the caliper brakes and how to operate them fairly quickly. The gears though, were a different matter. She did finally understand how to change them, but the purpose of the lower gears eluded her. All she wanted to do was go fast. Muu Su kept trying to explain, but was not getting it across very well. Ko Lon watched the pair from inside the Nekohanten and smiled. The ways of the middle Tendo might be mysterious, but the ways of an Amazon were more than potent. It was going to be an interesting battle, and a profitable one to boot. ----------- Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux felt the sudden stab of fear in his heart as he approached the take out box Xian Pu had left. Fear of disappointment. How on earth could Chinese noodle cook possibly know anything about producing a genuine brioche, much less a bouillabaisse? Yet his nose told him it was so. He opened the box. It really was a brioche. It really was bouillabaisse. He was in heaven. He spent two hours consuming a meal that would have disappeared in fifteen minutes had anyone but a Frenchman been eating it. He sketched as he ate. He was having a vision. Racing bikes, though very light, durable and in the case of mountain bikes, maneuverable, were not suitable designs for the lovely Xian Pu making deliveries. They were too rough riding. A delivery person needed a milder mannered mount, that was tough and reliable, yet lightweight. The frame needed to be longer and it needed a little more spring in it. The wheels needed to be a bit taller. The spokes slightly more flexible. Perhaps he would eliminate the spokes altogether and use some of the new fiber composites for the wheels. Certainly the fenders would be fiber composites. A wide range of gearing was a must. Delivery people ran into all sorts of conditions and weather plus, they lacked the luxury of simply modifying the bicycle for different parts of a known course. He would have to make some very careful choices. Tires! He really needed a special tire design. The standard ones were entirely inadequate. Two hours later the meal was done and Jean-Luc had finished his fourth sketch and was well into the final calculations on the gearing. He ran a fast check of his material inventory through his head. He had what he needed for the sprockets and chain. He did not have the tubing he needed and he would have to schedule a welder to come in. He no longer did his own welding because his eyes could not take it anymore. He would have to call the sheet metal shop. Suddenly, he found himself shouting into the telephone at his various suppliers and subcontractors. Now, it must be said that no one can speak French in a manner suitable for most Frenchman unless they have spent a great deal of time in France. Speaking French is an art form in its own right. It takes years and years of practice. In order to speak perfect French, one must do more than practice. One must live the language. French is perhaps the only language on earth that is like this. There are however, certain unfortunate side effects. Most Frenchman have great difficulty speaking any other language without a pronounced accent, as the late, great Peter Sellers was so fond of pointing out. Jean-Luc, in his excited state and inflamed by an intensity of ambition he had never before felt, was perfectly incoherent over the telephone. Not only did his Japanese suffer from a perfectly execrable accent, he mixed more than a little French into his discourse. He also kept forgetting that Japanese sentences always have their verbs at their ends and that an unfinished sentence usually cannot be understood, even when the speaker spoke perfectly good Japanese. What he did get across however, was that peculiar form of infectious excitement which only a grand master of his craft can transmit. The Japanese are quick to recognize the passion of a grand master fully engaged, heart and soul, in his craft. Within minutes, a host of salesman and technicians were dispatched to the little shop on Forges Street in Nerima. Go find out what he wants and see that he
gets it, were their orders. This guy is on to something big and we must be part of it. Few them had any idea how big it would be. They did know however what it would be called. It would be called "Enterprise," because Jean-Luc was designing for the small entrepreneur. And, because it was based upon Jean-Luc's fourth sketch, it would be called "Enterprise D," or, when spoken in Japanglish, "Ayn Tah Pu Raisa Day." The start was a little rocky because they had to drag Jean-Luc away from his lathe where he was hogging out a new, never before seen set of sprockets. They did eventually get him away from the lathe and his enthusiasm was even more infectious in proximity than it was over the telephone. Within an hour the requirements for Jean-Luc's new design were hammered out. Everyone soon understood what was needed and their deadlines firmly established. A storm of activity with feeder bands from all over Tokyo converged upon Thibbedeaux's little shop on Forges Street. Mechanical design is one of The Arts. The great masters of that Art sometimes birth a design so superlative that it inspires entirely new industries. Ford had his Model T. Edison had his light bulb. Douglas had his DC-3. Thibbedeaux would have the Enterprise D. A design which was, in the opinion of future environmentalists, destined to save the planet. Only a very enlightened few would realize that the Enterprise D and its variants would never have become the huge success they were to eventually be, without the extraordinary performances of a young, mouth-wateringly beautiful, Chinese Amazon named Xian Pu. ----------- For most people, money is a problem. The nature of this problem falls into three general, sometimes difficult to distinguish categories. Too little money is the problem we most often hear about, while not quite enough money is the one most people are confronted with, but for a benighted few, too much money is the problem. The problem of too much money is most often the bane of those who did not themselves earn it, such as the victims of a sudden, unexpected windfall, or heirs to a great fortune they themselves had little or no part in making. It can also be a thorn in the side for those who obtained their fortunes by surreptitious or illegal means. In the case of Kodachi Kuno, an heir to a great fortune, the too much money problem was exacerbated by an almost complete lack of parental guidance. Money will buy its owner very nearly anything, save genuine affection. This can have an extraordinarily corrosive effect upon a person's ego and Kodachi was by no means immune to it. It made her desperately vulnerable to an event which is best described as the "casual kindness." A good example of such an event is being saved from a nasty fall by handsome stranger. For all her riches, Kodachi Kuno was desperately impoverished in the ways which truly mattered. This form of poverty was part and parcel with her heritage. She was the third generation of Kuno's born to great wealth, who had not had a part in doing the work necessary to create that wealth. Her great-grandparents had made the mistake of sheltering their children from all the sharks they knew and did not know, in a vain effort to protect the family's wealth. This is understandable, but is a stratagem easily overdone. Most wealthy families find a balance in this regard. Kodachi's family did not. Kodachi's personal trainer, Saeko Shimazu, knew all of this. She was from a family that had been quite wealthy at one time and had gone through the cycle of rags to riches and back to rags again. It left her with enough money to get through college and enough status to build up a long list of wealthy clients once she had graduated from school. She had majored in psychology and was a fourth-dan Martial Arts Gymnast. This rare combination of skills and education had allowed her to remain in the employ of Kodachi Kuno where others had failed. Her skills did not however, make her job easy. Kodachi could go from sweet, compliant little girl to ravening, medieval bitch in the twinkling of an eye. All this week, the bitch had been roiling just beneath the sweet little girl surface of Kodachi's personality, ready to lash out at everyone within reach on the slightest excuse. More acutely, the bitch was ruining Kodachi's performance of their newly choreographed floor routine. Coaching Kodachi through one of these spells was never easy and they had a competition coming up. A competition which did not involve combat. Grace and sensitivity were needed to carry the day and while Kodachi was displaying her world renowned grace, she was attacking the program
like a hungry tigress. The best she could hope to do in the competition, unless she improved her aesthetics, was third place, perhaps as low as fourth place. Shimazu dreaded the thought of such a result. It would mean months of hard work rebuilding Kodachi's fragile ego. Too much of the girl's self worth was a reflection of what complete strangers thought of her. Kodachi was one of those unfortunates who had no choice about winning or losing. For her, it was win or else. Criticism of Kodachi in her current, emotional state was unlikely to help either. Shimazu had therefore decided to tape today's practice. This would allow Kodachi to see her problems for herself, with no criticism from Shimazu required. Kodachi completed the floor routine in exact time with the music. Technically, she had it down pat. She had performed it with out single flaw or misstep. Esthetically however, it was a complete disaster. Shimazu briefly considered changing the music and Kodachi's costume, and letting her do her usual, sexy-evil, witchy rendition of a floor routine, but rejected that notion almost out of hand. Several other girls had decided to try beating Kodachi at her own game with similar routines. Two of them were showing every sign of perfecting such an act. Shimazu did not believe in engaging an enemy on their choice of ground, even if it was home turf. A twist in the routine was a must. Kodachi must be evilly sexy, witchy and gently loving as well, to win this competition. None of the other girls could ever hope to emulate such a routine. A resounding defeat in this competition would reduce the number of Kodachi emulators to zero. The beautiful witch was Kodachi's trademark and Shimazu was determined that no other competitor should succeed against her client while infringing upon it. "How was I, Shimazu-sensei?" "Technically perfect, Kuno-san. I think the judges would grant tens on that score," Shimazu said while hooking the camera up to the small television she had brought into Kodachi's gymnasium. "Why am I not thrilled at this news, Shimazusensei?" Kodachi asked. "Perhaps you would understand more by watching yourself perform, Kuno-san." Kodachi did understand. She watched. She crumbled. She cried. Shimazu did her best to console the poor little rich girl. It was not easy, but nothing to do with Kodachi ever came easily. "You have been working very hard, Kuno-san. Perhaps it is time we took a break, ne?" "A break?" "Yes! Why don't you go grab a quick shower and we'll go out on the town. We'll spend a spend some time watching all the little people as they struggle, hmm?" Shimazu had no qualms about pressing certain of Kodachi's buttons when she thought it necessary. "Excellent idea, Shimazu-san! Do you have anything in particular in mind?" "Oh, I thought we'd dress down a little and try the local coffeehouse." "Ho, ho, ho, ho! I just love slumming! Watching the little people struggle is great fun!" Shimazu had another agenda of course. Kodachi was one of those people seldom impressed by mere instruction. Demonstration was required and there were a disheartening number times when even that failed to work. Shimazu used every excuse she could think of to get Kodachi away from her weird, rich bitch friends and exposed to normal people. Granted there was a shortage of "normal people" in Nerima, but the majority of them were in far better mental shape the Kodachi's friends. The exposure had helped some. Shimazu might be the only person who could see the improvement in Kodachi, but it was most definitely there. Kodachi's falling so hard for one of the local boys from a family of modest means had helped a great deal. Kodachi could never have the boy of course. The gulf between them was too great, but at least Kodachi's interest in him had damped some of the wilder delusions she had harbored prior to meeting him. She had not spoken of her plan to take over the world and having herself declared Empress of the Universe for almost six months now. ----------- Sometime around noon, Genma Saotome woke with a splitting headache and a taste in his mouth which was more than a little reminiscent of a latrine. He took this to mean that he was probably in trouble. He cracked one eye open and waited patiently for the sake induced bleariness to dissipate. Much to his horror the scene resolved itself into a familiar one. He was lying belly down in his panda form beneath a tall tree. A short distance away was a pond with a bubbling fountain in it. On the far side of the pond was a thick grove of bamboo. Yep! No doubt about it. He was in the zoo again. Worse, he was in
HER pit again. He lay very still hoping she had not noticed his presence. Preposterous of course. All animals keep themselves acutely aware of their surroundings and the Nerima Zoo's only female panda was no exception. She was very much aware of his presence. She was just waiting for him to wake up. Another thing about animals. They can almost always tell if you are awake or not, even when you are quite good at feigning sleep. Patsu the Panda was no exception. It was going to be a long day. The first of several, unless Genma missed his guess. The women of the Tendo household did not hold him in great esteem and were therefore unlikely to be in any hurry to rescue him. Remembering the noise Soun made during the fight at Miyagi's, Genma figured he would be in bed for at least two days, maybe three. All he could do was hope that Nabiki did not stall too long on making arrangements for his release. The other thing he had to hope for was that Soun would overrule Ranma's sentiments in the matter. He could count on nothing from Happosai. The old Master considered escape from incarceration to be a vital part of the Anything Goes School training regimen. Besides, from what Genma remembered, the old coot was most likely in jail himself. There was no doubt about it. He was in the lurch with an amorous female panda that simply could not understand his lack of reciprocating interest. He could distract her by playing "Bat the Tire" with her for a day, maybe two at the most. After that, things would become complicated. Genma found himself wishing he could convince the zookeeper to give him dozen or so aspirin. Oh, well. He would look and see if there was any bark left on that old willow. It invariably gave him a bad case of indigestion, but at least it would help his head. Maybe he would get lucky and Patsu would let him chew his bark in peace. It was not to be. Patsu realized he was awake and demanded his immediate attention. Fortunately, all she seemed to want for the moment was to be cuddled. This suited Genma to a tee. He was in no shape to play bat the tire. The bark could wait. He would cuddle Patsu and get a nap. It was the smart thing to do under the circumstances. ----------- Kasumi and Nodoka made a great team insofar as housework went. In fact, Nodoka prove to be far less troublesome than Kasumi had anticipated. She had not shown any inclination to disrupt Kasumi's routine, and always asked how Kasumi preferred things to be done. This made it even harder for Kasumi to understand what made Nodoka tick. A woman Nodoka's age usually had very definite ideas on how things should be done and would never dream of asking a woman of Kasumi's age about her preferences. Kasumi had to wonder if it would have been the same had this been Akane's household, as it one day would be. Still, the morning had passed pleasantly after Nabiki called and told them that everything at the clinic was back to normal, or at least as close to normal as things around Ranma and Akane ever were. By ten o'clock they found themselves at loose ends. Nabiki had promised to see after Ranma and Akane's luncheon. Soun would not move from his bed for at least another day. Happosai was nowhere to be found. Nabiki was at school, or busy dealing with the myriads of finicky details of the innumerable schemes she seemed to thrive on. The house was clean. The laundry was done and hung out to dry. The two of them were suddenly very bored. "Auntie Nodoka?" "Yes, Kasumi-chan?" "Don't you think we should take Ojisan some hot water?" Kasumi asked. After the third time of trying to get Genma out of the zoo by going through the proper channels, they had learned to just toss Genma's panda form a thermos of hot water. He somehow always managed to get out on his own once he could resume his human form. Normally Ranma would take care of this, albeit only at his mother's insistence. Nodoka regarded Kasumi with a surprised look before answering. "After we just finished cleaning the house?" Kasumi giggled. Nodoka joined her. "I suppose we could go shopping instead," Kasumi said. "How have you tolerated this constant insanity all this time, Kasumi?" "Oh, I just look on it as part of my training." "The Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Housekeeping?" Nodoka asked. "I never really thought of it that way, but I suppose you _could_ call it that. At least it has never been boring." "I can see how it might ruin your taste for soap operas," Nodoka said with mock grimness. They shared another giggle. "Shall I heat some water?" "Oh, I suppose we should, but I am of half a mind to just leave Genma where he is. At least while he is in the zoo
he isn't under foot." "True," Kasumi said, but sounded vaguely doubtful. "Then again, if he were here I could put him to work on building your father a pull cart." "Oh! That would be so nice. It makes shopping much more convenient." "Very well then. We will first take my honorable husband a flask of hot water, _then_ we will go shopping. Agreed?" "Hai!" Kasumi said with a happy smile. They had to do all the things women always do before going anywhere of course, which included a quick change of clothes. Kasumi put on the only casual kimono she owned. Much to her shock and amusement, Nodoka came out wearing western style clothes. Unfortunately, an outfit like hers had not been seen since the late nineteen fifties. Kasumi laughed out loud before she could stop her self. Then Nodoka laughed. "I suppose we should check with one another first, next time," Nodoka said. "We really should, I think," Kasumi said. "I think I'll go put on a kimono." "Oh, would you please, Auntie Nodoka? I hardly ever get to go anywhere in this." "I'd be happy to dear." Kasumi collapsed into seiza and covered her face with both hands as soon as Nodoka disappeared into her room. It was the only way she could hold in the laughter. They would have made an impossibly outlandish looking pair traipsing around Nerima in such out of date garb. Fortunately, Kasumi had managed to regain her composure before Nodoka came downstairs again, looking every inch the severely proper, samurai wife in her pale blue kimono and bearing her cloth covered katana. They arrived at the zoo only to find Genma sound asleep beneath the large ginkgo tree in the panda pit, being cuddled by the constantly amorous, Patsu Panda. Nodoka was not amused. The sizable crowd they had joined at the edge of the pit was amused by the sight of the two, cuddly looking animals cuddling, and were all ooing and ahhing over how cute they were. Nodoka was so steamed she quite forgot about the crowd. "Well I never!" Nodoka said in severely aggrieved tones as she placed both fists on her hips. This took the crowd's attention away from the pandas. They began staring in fascination at the furious Nodoka. "Tendosan, have you ever seen such a flagrant, public display in all your life?" "No Auntie, I have not," Kasumi said, desperately trying not to laugh at the steely Nodoka for a second time that day. She did succeed in maintaining her composure, but only by the tiniest of margins. One thing about having the Saotome Clan around she thought, they beat the living daylights out of anything on television. "Would you mind holding this for a moment, Kasumi- chan?" Nodoka asked as she handed Kasumi the katana. "Not at all, Saotome-san," Kasumi said as she took the proffered weapon. "I'll show him a thing or two!" Nodoka said as she tramped out of sight behind a large, nearby clump of azaleas. With Nodoka out of sight, the puzzled crowd now focused their attention upon Kasumi. Kasumi gave them a polite bow, rather than rolling on the ground laughing. Nodoka returned fuming. She had rolled up the sleeves of her kimono until they were well above her elbows. She had likewise rolled up the lower portion of her kimono until it was well above her knees. She had a pair of fist-sized stones, one in each hand and a third rock tucked into her obi. Once she was back on the sidewalk that wound around the panda pit, she carefully stepped out of her geta and gave her somnolent husband a very hard stare. Her green eyes glittered like emeralds in the sunlight. The crowd watched with growing alarm. Kasumi continued the struggle to maintain her composure. "I'll show you, Genma Saotome!" Nodoka said through gritted teeth. Then, with a graceful wind up that would have been the envy of any professional baseball player that witnessed it, she flung the fist-sized rock in her right hand at her still oblivious husband. While Nodoka was incapable of throwing a fast ball as powerful as say, Nolan Ryan's, the rock did emit a fairly wicked hum as it sailed across the panda pit. Thock! the rock noised as it bounced off the top of Genma's skull. "Oowaahr!" Genma yowled. "Genma no baka!" Nodoka shouted. Genma produced a sign which read, "This isn't what it looks like!" "I'll just bet it isn't!" Nodoka shouted as she passed the second rock from her left hand to her right. "You pervert!" Nodoka began another wind up. The crowd gasped. Genma blinked trying to understand what she was doing. Nodoka let fly before he figured it out. Hum-m-m-m-m-m, thock! "Eeeyower aaah grrr!" Genma held up yet another sign. "You don't understand how it is with
animals!" "Why I most certainly do, Genma Saotome! I've been married to _you_ for years!" Nodoka shouted as she struggle to remove the third rock from her obi. It had slid down a little during her last wind up. Several people in the crowd fell to the ground holding their sides. Others gasped. Most of them just stared in open mouthed wonder. Kasumi put one hand to her mouth, her eyes shining and face reddening. "I am _not_ an animal!" Genma's next sign read. "Says who? Who says you aren't an animal? _They_ all think you are an animal!" Nodoka said, indicating the thoroughly shocked crowd. Genma began desperately trying to scribble yet another sign, but Nodoka managed to free the third rock from her obi before he could finish. Seeing her begin another wind up, Genma tried to hide behind the tree. Unfortunately for him, the tree was not quite adequate to the task. The rock hummed across the panda pit and struck him in the left flank, making a funny kind of sloshing sound when it struck, as though it had impacted a base drum half full of water. "Bleh-urk!" Genma noised, as he desperately searched the pit for better cover. Genma sprinted a quarter of the way around the pit, then dove between a large clump of azalea bushes and a large boulder, hoping that if Nodoka could not see him, she would go away. "Here ya go, lady," one of the teen aged boys in the crowd said as he handed her a fourth stone. He had a malicious smirk on his face. "Why thank you, young man. That is very considerate of you," Nodoka said in exceedingly cultured tones. "Not at all, ma'am," the boy said. "Come out from behind that bush, Genma Saotome! Take your punishment like a man!" Genma held a sign up past the top of the azalea bush which read, "I'm just poor dumb animal! Remember?" "Oh, you are _so_ correct dear. I had _quite_ forgotten!" With that, Nodoka let fly with the fourth rock. This throw was more of lob than a fast ball type pitch. It ricocheted off the boulder and struck Genma between the shoulder blades. "Geerrrryow!" Genma howled as he stood up. "Sugoi!" the teen aged boy shouted in admiration. The crowd laughed and cheered uproariously. Nodoka gave them all a curt bow, then rolled down her sleeves and straightened out the rest of her kimono. "Shall we go, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked as she stepped into her geta. "Only if you are ready to go, Auntie Nodoka," Kasumi said. "Hold on to that flask, dear. I think it best we wait until he tires of his current paramour," Nodoka said as she accepted the proffered katana back from Kasumi. "A week or so should do it, I think." The two women left behind them a bemused and befuddled crowd of onlookers. Some of the more imaginative individuals among them began looking for a hidden camera crew, but they failed to find one. They found this absence to be very disconcerting. "Auntie Nodoka, surely you do not really think that Uncle Saotome is in any way enamored of that other panda!" "Of Lady Patsu I cannot be certain, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said calmly if grimly, "About those floozies working in Miyagi's I have no doubt whatsoever. Genma _is_ a very manly sort of man you know." Kasumi was again having an exceedingly difficult time containing herself. "What is it, Kasumi-chan." "Well you know, I was just thinking about Ranma. It is often said that men almost always marry the girl that most reminds them of their mothers." Nodoka laughed out loud. This was not as unnerving as Kodachi's laugh, but it came close. They walked on a few steps in silence. Then Nodoka spoke up. "I wonder how Akane-chan would look in a poodle skirt?" "Oh that would be darling," Kasumi said, "She would be so cute." "I suppose we had best applique a "Hello Kittie" doll on it rather than a poodle, though." "Oh! You are actually thinking of making her one?" "I think it would catch Ranma's eye, don't you?" "They are tastefully sexy," Kasumi said, "Why not a panda, instead!" "No, no pandas!" Nodoka said, laughing. "Perhaps a nice little pig? One like P-chan?" "Oh, yes! That would be perfect!" "Then perhaps we had best visit the fabric store before we go to the vegetable market." "Akane is going to be _so_ surprised!" Kasumi said, grinning from ear to ear. The style of the skirt in question mattered not at all. The fact that Auntie Nodoka would go to the time and trouble to make one for Akane was all that really mattered, and it really would matter a great deal.
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Comes The Cold Dragon It was Shirikawa's turn at the wheel. He had parked the prowler just barely out of the line of sight on a sweeping, right hand turn. The traffic was still fairly light with two hours before the evening rush began. They had not had a bust since he had parked in this particular spot. The weather was turning unusually damp and sultry for this time of year with plenty of cumulus clouds marching in off the coast. Ohga was growing impatient. "See, Tetsu? I told'ja we use this spot too often. They're getting used to us bein' here." Shirikawa, being the brains of this particular pair ignored his partner's irascibility. He had been keeping records of where they got the most busts and the largest number of good chases. All but two of their best chases had started from this very spot. "I know that! I keep tellin' ya, we got as many collars as we need for this week. I'm hopin' for a good chase." "I ain't worried about collars for the week! I'm worried about collars for the month. I like to meet quota early." "Yeah, uh-huh! Remember what happened the last time we all got out and started making quota early? They upped the quota, didn't they?" "Are you sure that's really what happened?" "Hey! I showed you the numbers didn't I? What is it with you and basic arithmetic, anyway?" "Aw, I don't know. I guess I just don't trust numbers the way you do. My gut always tells me more." "Well my gut and my numbers tell me this is the best place to snag a good chase and its my turn to drive. Now shut up and lemme concentrate on the radar, will ya?" "Yeah, okay. Whatever." The pair passed a few moments in silence. "Whoa! Talk about a speed demon! Lookit this!" Shirikawa exclaimed. "Radar says seventy kilometers an hour, so what?" "Yeah, but look behind us and see what it is." Ohga's eyes widened with shock. "A kid on a bicycle?" "Yeah! A nice lookin' kid on a bicycle." Xian Pu whipped by the parked prowler without paying it any mind whatsoever. "Well I guess we ought to pull her over and tell her not to be ridin' that thing on the expressway, Tetsu." "Yeah, I guess you're right," Shirikawa said sounding disgusted. "I've got half a mind to write her a citation for it. We might've picked up a runner here today." "Oh, horsehockey! You just get her to pull over and I'll do the talkin'." "Hey! You are gonna share the squeeze with your old buddy now, ain't cha?" "Shirikawa, not only are you an idiot, you are one sick puppy! She's just a kid, for cryin' out loud." "Yeah, too bad." "Will you roll this thing?" "Okay, okay! It's not like she's ridin' a Ninja, or nothin'!" "Yeah, but she could get hurt!" Shirikawa checked his mirror, then pulled out onto the expressway, easily catching up with Xian Pu on her borrowed, mountain bike. "Man! This kid's hell on wheels. She's still makin' a solid seventy!" Shirikawa said. "Well blip her and let's get her off this expressway before she gets flattened by a truck." Shirikawa turned on the prowler's flashers and blipped the siren. The girl looked over shoulder. Shirikawa saw her eyes widen, then she stood up on the pedals of the bicycle. "Holy smokes, she's actually speeding up! We're doin' almost eighty now." "Well get up along side of her and I'll try to talk to her." "Okay." Shirikawa moved one lane to the right and easily came alongside the franticly pumping Xian Pu. Ohga rolled down his window. "Okay, kid. Very impressive. Now pull over so we can talk." "Ramen for customer in Kasuga! No can sell you. You call Nekohanten," the girl shouted back. "Aw, shit! She's gaijin. I can't make her understand what I want." "Pull over! I police. I need talk you!" Ohga shouted out his window, hoping that the message would get across in pidgin.
"Xian Pu no have time for gossip! Have delivery to make!" Shirikawa laughed and let off the gas. "What are you doin'?" Ohga shouted. "Relax, will ya? If we crowd her at this speed she's bound to get hurt. We'll just get in behind her and wait for her to wear out. It ain't like she's got a four-banger on that thing, you know." Shirikawa said as dropped back into Xian Pu's lane. "Hell, I didn't think of that." "And you're always callin' me an idiot, Ohga. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." They cruised along for about two minutes at eighty kilometers per hour. Shirikawa began to wonder if there wasn't an engine of some kind on the bicycle and he simply failed to notice it. "This kid's a regular powerhouse!" "Unbelievable. How are we going to log this one?" "Whoa!" Shirikawa shouted as the girl and bicycle suddenly loped over the left hand guardrail and disappeared down the slope from the expressway's road bed. He pulled off onto the shoulder and stopped. "Can you see her, Norio? Is she all right?" "Yeah, I can see her. She just rocketed off into a neighborhood down there." "Damn! How did she do that?" "How are we gonna log this, Tetsu?" "We ain't." "Whatta ya mean we ain't?" "You wanna try explainin' this to the Captain?" "No, not really." "Then we ain't gonna log it, Norio." "Aw rats! Look at the time, Tetsu! It's almost shift change." Shirikawa did his other dog imitation as he tramped down on the gas pedal and got back out onto the expressway. The one thing that could get a Tokyo cop a bigger chewing out than wrecking his squad car, was being late for shift change. ----------- After delivering Ranma and Akane's lunch, Nabiki decided she had a break coming and went to her favorite coffee shop on Market Street. It was smaller than the one on Sales Street and a little more expensive. Nabiki did not mind the slightly higher prices, because the quality was a bit better and the place tended to be less crowded even though it was smaller. She sat down at her favorite table then spread out her notes and opened her ledger book. On top of everything else, she had ton of bookkeeping to catch up on. Maybe now would be good time to buy that laptop. Happosai owed her at least that much for her time and trouble. Nabiki was on her third cup of coffee and well into her bookkeeping chores when Kodachi Kuno and her coach, Saeko Shimazu walked in. Kodachi was wearing a very plain dress and blouse combination that was nevertheless expensive. One might not have noticed this accept that Shimazu was with her and was attired in similar, but far less expensive clothing. The contrast was startling. Nabiki calmly dropped her notes into the ledger book, then closed it. Just as she expected, Kodachi noticed her. In all probability, Kodachi had come to this coffeehouse expecting to find her. "Good afternoon, Tendo-san!" "Good afternoon, Kuno-san." "Have you met my trainer? This is Saeko Shimazu," Kodachi said, "and this is Nabiki Tendo." The other woman extended her hand as Nabiki stood up and took it. She knew who the woman was, but they had never actually met. "Pleased to meet you, Shimazu-san. Your reputation precedes you," Nabiki said with a genuine smile. The truth be known, Nabiki admired competence of any kind and there could be little doubt about this woman's competence. "Pleased to meet you, Tendo-san," Shimazu said as they shook hands. "Would you be kind enough to join me?" Nabiki asked the two women. Kodachi smiled and sat down. "Delighted, Tendo-san." Nabiki did not know why, but two phrases leapt to mind as Kodachi and her coach took seats at the table. "A man is never so harmlessly occupied as when he is busy making money," and "Hold your friends close, but hold your enemies even closer." Truth be known, Nabiki had been entirely too busy to give the Kodachi problem all the consideration it deserved. She had been having second doubts about using the confidence drug on her. Nabiki did not know enough about what the results might be, but she had promised Ranma to take care of the Kodachi problem and take care of it she would. Nabiki smiled as she sat back down, not realizing that it made her look like a great white shark. "So how are things going for you, Kuno-san," Nabiki asked. "Oh, they've been better. And you, Tendo-san?" "It has been a very busy week." "Yes, I suppose it has. Tell me, how is your little project at Miyagi's coming?" Nabiki's smile widened. Kodachi chose a nice way to lead into the topic she was really interested in. Nabiki decided to cooperate. "Oh, I think we will be finished by opening time Friday evening. The clinic project will be completed much sooner--noon on Friday,
I think." "What on earth does Doctor Ono do with cryogenic materials?" Kodachi asked, sounding slightly outraged. "Nothing," Nabiki answered, "Ranma did that." "My Ranma-sama?" Kodachi asked, sounding shocked. Shimazu rolled her eyes. "Yes, he's been having a little trouble with his ki since this past Sunday." Kodachi suddenly looked very fragile. Shimazu began to look deeply concerned. "How is he, Tendo-san? I'll pay whatever you want." "Oh, I'm not going to charge you this time, Kuno-san. The matter is entirely too serious. Ranma is dangerously ill." "Dangerously ill?" Kodachi squeaked. "Yes. He has a stress related illness which is very similar to combat fatigue. It makes him very dangerous. Doctor Ono tells me that Ranma is almost as dangerous as an atomic bomb, right now. I thought at first he was exaggerating, but what happened at the clinic last night changed my mind." Kodachi closed her eyes and shivered. Shimazu was now hanging on every word Nabiki said. "How long will it take for his condition to improve, Tendo-san?" Kodachi asked after a long pause. "I don't know. It depends on several things. Doctor Ono says Ranma must have several weeks of restful quiet." "If he needs restful quiet, why is that...that...Why is SHE there?" "My little sister, you mean?" Kodachi nodded. "She's there because Ranma insisted on it. He thinks Akane's life is in grave danger and won't let her out of his sight for more than fifteen minutes without becoming dangerously upset." "Oh," Kodachi said in a small voice. "He's worried about a few other people, as well." "Oh, really? Might I ask who?" Kodachi asked in a coy way. "You for one. He's paying me to take care of you," Nabiki said, then cut her eyes over to Shimazu. "What?" Kodachi wailed. "My Ranma-sama is paying you to take care of me?" Kodachi began to cry. Shimazu rolled her eyes, then covered her face with both hands. "Why on earth would he be worried about me?" "Mostly because he is overstressed, Kuno-san. He is deeply concerned about Ukyo and Xian Pu, as well." "Oh," Kodachi said, looking as though she had a bad taste in her mouth, "Those two." "How on earth can he afford your services, Nabiki Tendo." "Ranma and I operate on a barter basis. He is heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. I am the founding master of the Anything Goes School of Capitalism. Our skills complement one another nicely." This was true only in the most theoretical of terms of course, but Kodachi did not need to know that. "You? A capitalist?" Kodachi asked, sounding amused, "How delightfully silly! What could _you_ possibly know about capitalism, Nabiki Tendo?" Shimazu cut her eyes over towards her client, as though trying to get her attention. Don't go there! Shimazu's face seemed to say. "A great deal more than you will ever know, Kunosan," Nabiki said with a cold smile and hard eyes. "Ho, ho, ho, hooo, ho, ho! I suppose next you will be offering me a chance to become one of your students." Nabiki calmly leaned back in her chair, then sipped her coffee. "Never!" Nabiki said with a smirk, "You haven't got what it takes." Kodachi's face froze and her eyes grew very, very hard as she regarded Nabiki. Nabiki smiled and sipped her coffee again. Shimazu shivered as goosebumps swarmed up her arms and legs. "I can do anything you can, Tendo-san." Nabiki allowed her smirk to become a sneer. "Who are you trying to kid, Kuno-san?" Nabiki asked. "You have never wanted for anything in your entire life. You can't even manage your own money." "I most certainly can!" "A hundred-thousand yen," Nabiki said with a smirk. "That's nothing!" Kodachi said with a sneer, "Why not a serious wager?" "Oh, I'm not offering you a bet, or even charging you a fee, Kuno-san," Nabiki said as she worked her face into the smile she reserved for those who were trying to get out of paying off a loan. "I am setting a limit." "A limit?" "If you become my student, that is all you will be allowed to bring away from your estate. Anything beyond that, you will be required to earn by your own efforts." Shimazu gasped. Kodachi gave her a sharp look. "I have certain obligations which must be met." "I understand. But you will move out of your mansion. You will find a place of your own without servants and you will make a new start with only a hundred-thousand yen," Nabiki said coldly, "It is called training, Kuno-san." Kodachi's eyes narrowed. "I can do it you know." "No, I don't know, Kuno-san," Nabiki said with the smirk she usually reserved for aggravating Akane, "And I don't believe you
know either." "Very well, sensei! I will prove it to you!" Kodachi said with a snarl, "I will become your student this coming Monday. I have certain arrangements to make first." Nabiki's smirk took on an aspect that could have frightened every demon in Japan and probably did. "You will leave your wardrobe as well, Kuno-san and you will not rent, purchase, borrow or steal anything without talking to me first." Kodachi glowered at Nabiki. "As you wish, sensei. May we go now?" "Of course, Kuno-san." Nabiki gritted her teeth to stifle her laughter as Kodachi and Saeko left. This was going to be a lot more fun than she first thought it would be. "Waste not, want not," Nabiki reminded herself as opened her ledger book. ----------- "Why are you playing with that monster, Kuno-san?" Shimazu asked, once the two of them were outside the coffee shop. "Ho, ho, ho, ho! I _love_ dangerous pets, Shimazu- san." "That's no pet, Kuno-san! That bitch is a big, toothy shark studying to be a big, toothy orca!" "I know! Delightful company, isn't she?" "Oh, yeah! Sure! She makes Midori-gami look like a chihuahua puppy." "I think I'd like to rehearse again, Shimazu-san, if you have the time." "Of course, Kuno-san. By all means, let us rehearse while your batteries are charged!" "Ho, ho, ho, ho! Shall I wear pink fur this time? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!" Shimazu could only shake her head. She made a mental note to consult with Doctor Ono as quickly as she could. Kodachi did not wear pink fur, but she was more like her old self once they returned to Kuno-ke. Shimazu felt much better about the impending competition after Kodachi's second rehearsal, she just wished she could be as hopeful about the future of humanity. The knowledge that Kodachi Kuno and Nabiki Tendo would soon be locked in a struggle to see who would become Empress of the Universe was unnerving. The weather did not improve her mood any as she left the Kuno estate. The air was hot, damp and sticky negating the effects of the light breeze blowing in off the coast, while over head the clouds had begun to darken. It was a perfect match for her sense of impending doom. ----------- In his little shop on Forges Street, Jean-Luc Thibbedeaux had made great progress on Xian Pu's bicycle. All the tubing had been bent and fitted up in the jigs he had built. The welder and his helper would soon have the frame completely welded out. While they worked, he finished hogging out the sprockets. He had already gotten a call from Nagai Plastics. The carbon fiber leaf springs he had designed would be delivered by nine o'clock. The tires had already been delivered. With any luck at all, he would have the first prototype of the Enterprise D completely assembled by eleven. Then it would merely be a matter of final tuning and finish work. He felt good. When Xian Pu arrived by eleven on Thursday morning, she would have her badly needed bicycle and he would have produced a world class design in twenty-four hours. He was about to join the ranks of Thomas Edison and Donald Douglas and he knew it. ----------Contrary to Tofu Ono's fears, the news coverage did his practice no harm whatsoever. By late Wednesday afternoon he had seen and treated three times as many patients as would have been ordinary. Some were not really in need of any treatment. They had merely come by to see him and be supportive. Several of them had been people that he had been encouraging to come in. He smiled to himself about the little ironies of life as he finished up the last of his paperwork. He had thought about hiring someone to help with paperwork, but really wanted to hold that position open for someone special. He decided to check on Ranma and Akane before leaving. The poor brawler had insisted on being taken to the infirmary at the jail, Tofu could not really blame him. Time there would count as time served, and all he really needed to do was rest until he healed anyway. Tofu wished things could be that simple for Ranma. A glance at the sleeping young man was all he really needed, but he decided to lift Ranma's covers and do a more complete visual just to be sure. Tofu shook his head. Physically, Ranma was practically whole. Were it not for his emotional condition, Tofu would have released the boy that afternoon. "How is he, Doctor Tofu?" Akane asked in soft voice. "Physically, he is almost completely healed," Tofu said as he replaced the covers. "Has he had another episode?" "No, just the one. He has slept like a baby ever since." "All right. When he wakes up, I'd imagine that will be in about two or three hours, he is going to be very hungry again." "Nabiki said she would bring supper over."
"Good," Tofu said with a smile, "You did tell her not to bring pizza, right?" Akane's eyes got wide and she nodded. "When he wakes up he is going to be feeling a lot better. Tell him I said to take it easy. He might feel good, but it will be easy for him to overexert himself." "I understand." "Tell him I said no more than one kata in four hours, got that?" "You know he'll do two or three anyway, Doctor Tofu." "I'm counting on you to nag at him about it, okay?" Akane grinned, then nodded her head. The telephone rang. "Well I guess I'd better get that before I go," Tofu said, "See you tomorrow, Akane." "Good night, Doctor Tofu." Tofu walked back into his office and picked up the telephone. "Hello?" "Doctor Ono?" "Yes?" "This is Saeko Shimazu, I don't know if you remember me or not." "Oh, yes! We met at that stress related disorders seminar in Onimichi last spring. How have you been?" "Just fine, thank you. And you?" "Actually, we have been pretty busy here of late." "I think I know why. One of my clients is, ah, infatuated with one of your patients. Her name is Kodachi Kuno. Have you ever heard of her?" Tofu nearly dropped the receiver. "Oh, you could say I've run across the name a time or two. She fancies herself to be the fiancee of a patient I'm currently treating. Is something extraordinarily wrong?" "Let's just say that I think a consultation between us might be in order, Doctor Ono." "I was afraid you would say something like that. Is the matter acute?" "I think prompt action may well be in order." "I see. How about this evening, then?" "Have you ever tried okinomiyaki? There's this little place on the northeast side that..." "Ah, I really do like it, but we would be better off trying another place, I think." "Well there's that great little noodle shop over on the northwest side. This little old Chinese lady makes the best bowl of ..." "Hmm, I think the Oukanki-ya would be better for us, Shimazusan." "Bleah! They never get their noodles right." "Yes, I know what you mean. Why don't you meet me at the Nerima Unagi-ya, then?" "Well, it's a little expensive, but..." "My treat! See you there in a couple of hours?" "Hey! Clients or no clients," Shimazu said cheerfully, "I never turn down free unagi." "See you in a couple of hours then. Bye" "Bye, bye!" ----------- "Is Soun feeling better now, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked as she finished putting up their sewing projects. "Oh, yes. I'm sure he'll sleep till morning, now. Poor father! His arms and back really seem to be bothering him." "Don't worry, dear. He's just suffering from a little overexertion is all. I can't tell you how many times I babied Genma through these kind's of spells. I finally learned not to spoil him." Kasumi giggled, but looked guilty about it. "What do you say we step out for a bite to eat? You spend entirely too much time in that kitchen of yours." "Do you think we should, Auntie Nodoka? I mean money might be a little tight here in the near future." "Kasumi-chan, if the men of this household can be forgiven for throwing away hundreds of thousands away by tearing down a sake parlor, I don't think you and I should begrudge ourselves a decent meal we did not have to cook." "I never thought of things that way before." "Well, it would be unwise for you to make a habit of it. I seriously doubt Tofu will be the handful that Soun and Genma have been all these years." Kasumi gave Nodoka a questioning look. "Oh, I never met your father until I found out Genma had brought Ranma here, but I have heard the stories." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, looking delighted, "Could you tell me some of them?" "Of course, dear, but not here. Have you ever tried eating at the Nerima Unagi-ya?" "I'll just go put on my kimono," Kasumi said with a smile, "I've had their take-out, but I have never eaten at the restaurant." "You are going to love this place, dear! The atmosphere is just marvelous." "I'll be right down, Auntie!" Kasumi said happily. ----------- "Eight large specials?" Ukyo asked, "Are you sure, Nabiki?" "According to Doctor Ono, Ranma needs a lot of protein right now. He's eaten two entire flats of tofu by himself in the last two days." Ukyo poured out four large discs of batter on the griddle and began laying out toppings as she spoke. "I knew Ran-chan was a big eater, but good grief! Two entire flats of tofu? Just tofu, nothing to go with it?" "That and several large meals between binges," Nabiki said with a nod of her head. "I thought he might be coming home in a week, but after last night I'm not so sure anymore." "I thought a big appetite was supposed to be a sign of
recovery." "Well, that would be true with any normal person I'm sure," Nabiki said. "You got a point there, Nabiki. Ran-chan is a lot of things, but normal ain't one of 'em. What do you think the real problem is?" "Too many fiancee's and one too many fights, I think. That battle he got into in China took a lot out of him." "Is it true he defeated a kami, Nabiki?" "I don't know that you could rightly call Safuron a kami, but he is about as close to one as you are likely to find in the flesh. Ranma more or less killed him because just wounding him wouldn't put him out of the fight." "Ran-chan...killed...someone!" Ukyo became very pale. "Yes, but he only did it to save Akane's life. That's why she's at the clinic every day instead of school. Ranma is afraid that something will happen to her. He keeps having nightmares about it." Ukyo began to look like a very lost and frightened little girl. "He's worried about you, too." "Huh?" "Look, all three of you, you, Xian Pu and Akane, worry him to death. If one of you isn't being grabbed by somebody, you are fighting each other tooth and nail over him. Ranma doesn't want anyone hurt on his account. I think he'd rather be dead. No, I take that back. I _know_ he'd rather be dead. The three of you keep this up and he'll leave just so you three idiots will stop fighting." "Well if he would just make up his mind then..." "And what if he did make up his mind Ukyo? What would change? Been to any bombed out weddings lately?" "That hurt, Nabiki!" Ukyo said, as she began to cry. "Damned right it hurt! It hurt Ranma a hell of a lot more than it did anyone else! Why do you think he's holed up in that clinic fighting to hold on to his sanity?" Nabiki's voice was suddenly vehement and her eyes flashed with anger. The two young women stared hard at one another for several minutes until acrid smoke began to fill the as the two women stared hard at one another. "Damn! Now look what you made do!" Ukyo chided Nabiki as she threw the burnt okinomiyaki into the trash. "I'll pay you half-price for it," Nabiki said. "Since when did you become so generous?" Ukyo asked, sounding suspicious. "Since Ranma asked me to help out," Nabiki said, gritting her teeth. This was an answer Ukyo found amusing. She broke out into wild fit of laughter. Nabiki calmly waited for the storm to pass. "You find that amusing?" "Yes, I do, Nabiki! Ran-chan must be slipping really bad to trust your help," Ukyo said as began to cleaning her griddle. "I always deliver what I promised," Nabiki said coldly. "Oh, I know, but what you promise always works out best for you." "Naturally. Why should it be any other way? Anyone that says they are making you a deal that works out in your favor alone is lying to you, Ukyo. You've been in business long enough to understand that." "So what do you get out this, Nabiki, hmm? I'd like to know, because I really do love Ranma and if you hurt him, you'll have to answer to me." "He will marry a Tendo, you know," Nabiki said coldly. "Huh?" "It's in the contract between our parents. It says nothing about Ranma marrying Akane. It says he'll marry one of Soun Tendo's daughters, and if not one of Soun's daughters, one of our cousins." "What on earth were they thinking?" Ukyo practically screamed. "I wish I knew," Nabiki said. "It doesn't really matter right now anyway. You know what does matter? Until Ranma is married, neither Kasumi nor I can make any plans, nor will you or Xian Pu. Every last one of us is waiting around for this to be settled one way or another." Nabiki shuddered inside. She prided herself on her ability to maintain a poker player's coutenance, but this was really pushing the envelope. If these idiots did not come around soon, she would elope with Ranma and put an end to it that way. Ukyo poured out more batter looking thoughtful. "So you are here to make me an offer, right?" "No, because you don't strike me as the type that would accept money as payment for something like this," Nabiki said with as much warmth as she could muster. "I'm not the one expected to marry Ranma in any case." "So you're saying I'll have to make a deal with Akane then, right?" "I'm saying you should think about it. If Ranma marries Akane or Kasumi, money is all you are likely to get." "Oh, really? You mean it would be different if he married you?" "If I had accepted him the day he arrived, this mess would already have been settled. I never let love get in the way of reason." "I can believe that!" Ukyo said as she boxed the first four okinomiyaki, then started another four on the griddle. "Especially if the reasoning leads to money." "You are a very bright
young lady, Ukyo Kuonji." "There is no way you could make enough money out of Ranma for you to willingly marry him, so I guess I don't have to worry about you, or do I?" "Do I look like the sort of woman who would become a brood mare just to satisfy tradition?" Nabiki managed to keep up a cool appearance despite her elevated heart rate. The truth be known, she would not mind taking a stab at being a brood mare for Ranma, so long as she did not quite succeed. "So you'd pick me to be Ranma's concubine, is that it?" "It would settle your claim, wouldn't it?" "Akane would never go for it--not that I'd go for it, either. Nabiki smiled. Ukyo most certainly would go for it. Hell! I'd go for it if I thought Akane would, she thought. "No, Akane won't. So you need to start thinking about what you are going to do. Ranma can't marry everyone that has a claim to him, much less everyone that thinks they have a claim to him. He can only satisfy one claim and my sister's claim has precedence over all others, yours and mine included." "Your claim?" Ukyo asked, staring at Nabiki in surprise. "Since when did you have a claim, Nabiki?" "I'm a Tendo, remember? You don't really think I'd let Kasumi marry him do you? He'd never be able to take care of her. Who ever marries Ranma will need to be pretty much self- sufficient." Ukyo took a deep breath and began boxing the second set of okinomiyaki. "So if for some reason Akane rejects him, you will step in?" "Yes, I will. Otherwise, Kasumi would. You know what a traditionalist she is." "I love him, Nabiki." "We all know that, Uchan. That's why we are all scratching our heads trying to figure out a way to solve this, but try to understand one thing, Ranma _will_ marry a Tendo." "It's not fair!" "You think I don't know that? It isn't fair to Ranma, or you, or me, or my sisters. Genma laid a trap for you, you know." "Huh?" "Sure he did. The more women after Ranma, the more likely Ranma will produce an heir, right?" "That bastard!" Ukyo shouted, gritting her teeth and clenching her fists. "I'm gonna kill him!" "Don't do that anytime too soon, Ukyochan. I'm not through torturing him, yet. I might've grabbed Ranma if hadn't been for him." Both of them giggled at this. "You'd better take your order and go, Nabiki-chan. It's going to get cold." "Okay." "Just one thing though." "What's that?" "What if Ranma decides he doesn't want to marry a Tendo?" "Then he will have to give up his school, Ukyo-chan. You know Genma would disown him. Happosai could care less about him. Given a choice between supporting Ranma and free room and board, guess who he would axe?" "Genma wouldn't disown Ranma!" "I'm pretty sure he would. I haven't found out why he and my dad made their little deal yet, but I'll let you know when I do." "Okay, Nabiki." "I gotta run," Nabiki said as she took the boxes. "Do us both a favor, will you, Ukyo?" "What's that?" "Stay away from Kodachi and Xian Pu." "Hah! No problem there." "Jaa, neh?" "See ya!" Ukyo sat thinking for a long time after Nabiki left, trying separate her enemies from her rivals and decide what to do about which. She knew she would never insist that Ranma give up The Art. It had been his entire life until now, but she could not bear the thought of giving him up, either. If Ranma married Xian Pu he would go back to China and she would never see him again. He was never going to have anything to do with Kodachi so that was not a worry beyond Kodachi being a nuisance. Akane had Ranma on her own turf. Did she really want to hang around hoping they would break up? No, but she would. Could she share him with another woman? She gritted her teeth. Right now it looked as though there were little choice. There was little doubt left in her mind that Ranma was in love with Akane. She had not understood about what happened at Jusendo until Ryoga explained it the night after the failed wedding. If Ranma was married to Akane though, opportunities would arise sooner or later. If he married Nabiki things would work out even quicker. There seemed little to be gained by antagonizing either of the younger Tedou girls. What if he married Kasumi? That thought made her shudder. It would be the end. Ranma would never do anything to offend or hurt Kasumi. No decent person would. One thing was certain however, she was going look Genma up and give him another good beating. Ukyo suddenly realized that there was a lot of room in her heart for friendship with Akane. She would have to make peace with her. This mess was Genma's fault, not Akane's and so long as she remained friendly with Akane and Ranma, there was hope that...they
could...could. Much to Ukyo's annoyance, she was still blushing as customers started coming through the door. ----------- The Nerima Unagi-ya was everything Nodoka said it was. The place was exceptionally clean and brightly lit without seeming to be part of a hospital. The decor pleased Kasumi no end. The floors were brightly polished, the lamp shades dust-free, the tables gleamed and the chairs were comfortable. Their waiter however, was new to the job. "Green tea for you ladies, I guess?" "Yes, for starters. We would like sake as well please, young man," Nodoka said, bristling slightly. She might be a traditionalist, but even she bridled at being talked down to. This young man was being much too casual in his approach. When acting as a servant, one asked. One did not guess. "Any particular brand, ma'am?" the waiter asked, obviously nonplussed. "I'm sure you will choose a good one for us, won't you dear boy?" Nodoka said icily. "I'll, I'll do my very best ma'am." "That's a good lad," Nodoka said with a cold smile. The waiter ran to the bar for advice. He wasn't at all sure how to handle this situation. "There's two very straightlaced lookin' broads at one of my tables wantin' sake. Any ideas?" "Yeah, serve 'em their tea and tell 'em the sake is being warmed up," the bartender said as he dug out a bottle of sake and blew the dust off of it. "Hey!" the waiter said sounding alarmed, "That's pretty potent stuff." "Yeah, but its nearly tasteless. That's why the professional drunks almost never ask for it. These two won't drink a whole flask between 'em. Go serve 'em their tea." "Your tea, ma'am." "Thank you, young man," Nodoka said. "The sake is being warmed up for you right now. I'll bring it out as soon as it is ready." "That will be fine, thank you," Nodoka said, giving the struggling youngster a somewhat warmer smile than before. "Thank you, ma'am." "Auntie Nodoka?" "Yes, Kasumi-chan." "I have never drunk sake before." "What? Not even a taste?" "I never could get past the smell, to tell you the truth." "Well it's time you tried it, dear. A little will do you no harm." "Yes, Auntie," Kasumi said, sounding dubious. "Just try a little taste, dear. There will be times later on in life when you will have to drink a little to be polite." Kasumi nodded her head, seeing the wisdom in what Nodoka said. "So tell me, what has life with my son and Genma been like?" "Oh, mostly it's been very amusing. Sometimes quite exciting, especially after Happosai returned." "Exciting? I can just imagine! Ha!" They were so engrossed in their reminisces, that the waiter was more or less ignored as he delivered the sake. The sake itself was so bland that the two of them consumed the entire flask without really noticing. The waiter was new, but not an idiot. He brought out a second one without being asked. They kept right on chattering. He interrupted them long enough to take their food orders, then faded into the paint. He brought another flask of sake out with their order out. The two women seemed to be having a wonderful time together. He began to look forward to a healthy tip. Meanwhile, the place began to fill up and he suddenly found himself too busy to really pay attention to how much sake the two were consuming. He just kept bringing it out when ever they appeared to be low. After all, the bottle was open. They may as well get rid of the stuff while they had the chance. ----------- The was no breeze by the time she got off at the bus stop nearest Tofu's clinic. The humidity had climbed to the point that she felt like she needed a towel by the time she reached the clinic a mere two blocks from the bus stop. Much to her surprise, Ranma was up and walking around. "Well look at you!" Nabiki said as she struggled with the door. "You look fit enough to give me a hand." Ranma hastened to help her out. "Awright! Okinomiyaki!" "Hi, Nabiki," Akane said. Nabiki looked closely at Akane's face. Her eyes looked strained. "Hi, Sis. Studying hard?" "I am so far behind, Nabiki, I don't know that I'll ever catch up." "I know what you mean, Akane. I can't stay long. I'm getting behind too." "Busy day?" Akane asked. "Oh! You know it." "Hungry?" "Yes." "Good. Let's eat. I can't stay long. I've got a ton of homework to do and still have a bunch of bills Kasumi and I need to go over." "Okay." The okinomiyaki did not last long. "So, Ranma. Think you could make it up and down the stairs okay?" Nabiki asked. "If I really had to, yeah. I still get dizzy if I move around too much at one time." "Think you can handle living in the flat upstairs in a couple of days?" "Well yeah, I guess, but why?" Ranma and Akane
both gave Nabiki questioning looks. "Because I think it might be a good idea to get you guys out of this examination room as soon as we can." "Well why not just have us go home in a couple of days? I think I'll be probably be able to go back to school by Monday." "Because it isn't your call, Ranma. I don't think Tofu is going to release you for at least another week, maybe longer." "What about school, Nabiki?" Akane asked, her voice rising with concern. "What about it? Both you guys are doing better now than you ever did before." "Huh?" Ranma and Akane chorused. "It's true. Your teachers are flipping out. They have never gotten this much work out of Ranma and the papers they've graded so far suggest that you'll both improve your grades by at least a letter." "Do what?" Akane asked. "It's true. All you have to do is keep turning the work in and I won't have any trouble covering for you, okay? But if you guys stop turning in work, they'll start griping about you not being in class." "It makes sense in a way," Akane said looking a little glum, "We've had more peace and quiet here than we ever had in school." "Boy! That ain't no lie!" Ranma said. "If I were you guys, I'd try to stay here for as long as I could. At least until you get caught up with your schoolwork." "What about our parents, Nabiki?" Akane asked. "You know, Akane. I think Dad and Saotome-san are going to be a little too busy to worry about you guys for the next couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure Aunt Nodoka will be coming to see you every other day or so." "Nabiki, what are you up to?" Akane asked. "Me? I'm just trying to help, Akane." "Why?" Akane asked. "Well, for one thing I figure I owe you. For another, we have got more money coming in than ever before." "Huh? How?" Ranma asked, sounding alarmed. "Operation Market Garden, Saotome." "Oh, really?" Akane started to say something, but stopped when Ranma touched her shoulder. "Really. I need at least a week, maybe two to bring it to a perfect conclusion, but I can shut it down whenever you want." "If it ain't broke, let's not fix it," Ranma said. "I'll try the stairs tomorrow maybe." "Don't do it if it's too much strain, Ranma," Nabiki said, "but I think it would work better for all concerned if you two were a little less conspicuous around here. Out of sight, out of mind. If you know what I mean." "I gotcha." "It sounds to me as though you are having fun, Nabiki." "You know me, Akane. I love swimming with sharks." "Even when you get bit?" Akane asked. "My bite's a lot worse, Little Sister," Nabiki said with grin. It was a very convincing grin. Nabiki glanced at her watch. "Ooh! I gotta go. I'll stop by and see you guys on the way to school tomorrow." "Good night, Nabiki," Ranma said. "Be careful going home, Big Sister." "I will. You guys behave, okay?" "Around this tomboy? No prob...OOF!" "Have your schoolwork ready!" Nabiki called over her shoulder. "We will!" Akane called after her, then turned on Ranma. "No problem, huh? Tomboy, huh?" "Hey! It's just part of the act, okay?" "Yeah?" "Yea...mmph!" Akane cut Ranma off with a kiss. "Uh, Akane?" Ranma asked. "Hmm?" "We really do have to behave." Akane thumped him on the chest. "I know, silly. You haven't healed up enough, yet." Ranma blinked several times, then all but ran to the bathroom for cold water. Things would be much less likely to get out of control if he were in his female form. ----------- Tofu Ono sat in opened-mouth horror listening to Saeka Shimazu, his expensive serving of kanabaki completely forgotten. "Kodachi agreed?" he asked. "She is actually going to become Nabiki's student?" Shimazu nodded her head, her face a grim mask. "Oh, may the kami have mercy on us all!" Tofu said, sounding disconsolate. "She is moving out of the Kuno estate on Monday. I suppose she and Tendo-san will be seeing a great deal of one another after that, because she agreed not to buy, rent, borrow or even steal anything unless she talked it over with Tendo-san first." "Oh, the humanity!" "More like inhumanity, if you ask me, Ono-san. I've been thinking about buying property in northern Australia all day." "Perhaps we should go have six-six-six tattooed on our foreheads early tomorrow morning and beat the afternoon rush," Tofu said in a speculative tone as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Shimazu's eyes widened with terror. Tofu noticed her reaction and their gazes locked. "Do you know anyone around here that might sell me a goat?" He asked. "A goat? Why would you want to buy a goat?" "Because we'll have to sacrifice at least one goat, perhaps two. This is going to require
some really big favors from the kami." "Do you really sacrifice animals to the kami?" Shimazu asked. "I found that sacrificing a chicken once a month is the only thing that will keep my fax machine and copier working," Tofu said with a huge grin. Shimazu nearly choked on her food. "So that's how you keep that junk working? I would never have guessed!" "Works for Win95 too, but you have to hold your mouth just right." Shimazu laughed. "You're terrible! How can you joke at a time like this?" "It made you laugh, didn't it?" Shimazu laughed some more. "Are you hinting that I'm seeing things a little out of perspective?" "Only a little. I must admit that the prospect of Kodachi Kuno working as a teammate of Nabiki Tendo is a bit, well, daunting, but I don't think it will last for very long." "Oh, really? Why is that?" Tofu explained what he knew of Ranma and Akane's wedding. "She didn't really! She showed up at another girl's wedding wearing a black wedding gown?" "I'm afraid it's so, Shimazu-san. I heard it from more than one source. All of them reliable for the most part." "Oh, dear me! And her brother actually drew a sword? Isn't that illegal?" "Well this is Nerima, you know." "I can't imagine!" "Look, I think all that will come of this in the end is that a few more blocks of the neighborhood will get renewed, Kodachi will have her ego trimmed down a notch or two, and Nabiki will pay a few more Tendo bills with Kuno money. It happens around here all the time. It may be a little more frightening this time around, but so what?" Shimazu giggled, sounding faintly hysterical. "You're pulling my leg again, right?" "No, not at all! I've been practicing here for a long time. This place is just, well, it's different, that's all." "Different?" Shimazu asked, then giggled again. "Hello, Doctor Tofu!" a sweet voice spoken through gritted teeth said, "Fancy meeting you here!" Shimazu watched as Tofu's glasses suddenly fogged up. She could not imagine why. There had not been any change in temperature that she could feel. She looked to her left to see who had spoken and found herself looking at two of the most conservatively dressed women she had seen since age four. The older of the pair had face that was as cold as an Antarctic cliff and held a katana which, thank all the kami that be, was still inside its cloth cover. The younger of the pair was doing her best to maintain her composure, but had her fists on her hips. For all of that, neither of the two women looked all that steady on their feet. "Oh! Hello, Kasumi-san! What a coincidence, seeing you here! Ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!" The girl Ono had referred to as Kasumi was smiling and her voice still sounded very sweet when she spoke, but she spoke through gritted teeth. "Isn't it though! I suppose Auntie Nodoka and I should have checked with you before we left. We could have met you here." Tofu got up in a rather clumsy fashion, tipping his chair over. "Ah, Kasumi? I'd a like to introduce you to someone!" Tofu said as he reached over and seized a salaryman seated at the next table. The poor man's eyes widened with shock, but he made no protest as he stood up for Tofu. Shimazu was not surprised. She was not expert in ubijutsu, but clearly the man had no real choice about whether or not he complied. Kasumi kept smiling with her fists on her hips. "This is Doctor Saeko Shimazu. We've, ah, we've been discussing Ranma's case. Ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha, hoo!" The salaryman smiled a huge smile, then bowed as best he could given the way Tofu was holding him. Shimazu found herself giggling again. "Oh, my! What a lovely dress, Shimazu-san!" Kasumi said sweetly to the benighted salaryman through clenched teeth. "I am so pleased to meet you!" The now very puzzled salaryman gave Kasumi a sickly smile and nodded his head vigorously. Clearly, he seemed to think his demise was very near unless he made these lunatics happy. Shimazu did not blame him. "Have you known, Doctor Ono for very long?" Kasumi asked sweetly through her grinding teeth. "Urgle, berk aaah, stuuhhggnng," the salaryman said, then smiled brightly. "Oh, my! That is just fascinating," Kasumi said, with her teeth still tightly clinched together. "Do you think Ranma will be able to come home soon?" "Heeryuu bururoranga, purooong da!" the salaryman said with as much confidence as he could muster as he nodded vigorously in the affirmative. "Oh, that is _so_ good to hear!" Kasumi said as though she had just been given a million yen. She then turned an looked at the quivering Tofu Ono and said, "Now then, Doctor Tofu. Let Doctor Shimazu go." "Oh! I...aha...sorry, Shimazu-san!" Tofu said as he released
the salary man. Kasumi righted Tofu's chair. The salaryman fell to his knees and began bowing to Kasumi while whispering the words "Arigato, gozaimasu!" over and over. "And sit down and finish your dinner now, all right?" Kasumi said as she guided Tofu back to his seat. "Oh! Ah! Aha! Ee! Ah, sure, Kasumi-san!" Tofu said as he sat down. Kasumi bent over so that she and Tofu were nose to nose. "I'll come by and see you in the morning, all right?" Kasumi asked. Tofu was now unable to speak, so nodded his head. "Good," Kasumi said as she poked his forehead gently with her index finger, "You and I have some consulting of our own to do." Kasumi stood up straight and began walking towards the exit. "Coming, Auntie Nodoka?" Kasumi asked without looking back. "Yes, Kasumi-chan. It is getting rather late." Tofu collapsed face down upon the table. Nodoka bent over so that she could speak into Shimazu's ear without being heard. "Whatever _else_ you do tomorrow, dear, avoid Tofu's clinic!" Shimazu nodded her head vigorously without saying a word. Nodoka straightened up, then rushed, albeit in a dignified way, to catch up with the departing Kasumi. Shimazu twisted around in her chair and watched Nodoka leave, then turned back around and surveyed the room. The salaryman was still bowing and thanking the absent Kasumi. He might have kept it up for the rest of the night if the bartender had not come back to see what was going. "Oi!" the bartender said as he got down on his knees in front of the still bowing and scraping salaryman, "You can stop. They're gone." The salaryman would have collapsed, but the bartender helped him up and back into his chair. As he started to walk by, he stopped and looked at Shimazu. "You're fairly new here, aren't you?" "How did you know?" Shimazu asked. "You've got that look on your face," the bartender said, "but don't worry. You get used to it after awhile and the look goes away." "Look?" "Yeah, the look of perpetual surprise. It goes away after you get used to being here. Don't let it bother you any. Nerima's a nice place, just different." "Oh!" The bartender gave her a warm smile, then merrily went about his business. Shimazu looked at her table companion. "Doctor Ono?" Tofu seemed to be mumbling something to the table top. "Doctor Ono?" Concerned because he did not answer, Shimazu got up and walked around the table. "Doctor Ono?" she asked as she touched his shoulder. "Aaah! Hooo! Hee hee! Kasumi touched me!" "Doctor Tofu?" "Isn't it wonderful, Betty?" As if by magic, Shimazu was suddenly transported outside the restaurant. Much to her consternation she seemed to be waltzing to the Blue Danube, being performed by Tofu in arpeggio. "La da-da-da-dum, da-dum, dadum!" This would not have been nearly so disconcerting had her feet been touching the ground, but Tofu was holding her up in the air as though she were a child, or a puppet of some kind. After they had waltzed for a block or two, Shimazu suddenly and inexplicably found herself being transported on Tofu's back as he hopped, skipped, jumped, hooted and shouted for joy. What was truly amazing about the entire ordeal, were the sympathetic looks she got from onlookers. They actually seemed to understand what was going on. This might have been reassuring, had they not looked so sympathetically sad. Before she fully realized what was going on, Shimazu found herself in a closet alongside a skeleton. "Good night, Betty! See ya in the morning," Tofu said as he closed the door. The light went out and Shimazu began to scream at the top of her lungs. She would have screamed herself hoarse, except that the closet door popped open. "Oi! Good evening! My name is Akane Tendo!" A lovely young woman said, as though nothing at all unusual had happened. "Oh, ah, good evening. I'm uh, I'm Saeko Shimazu." "Are you all right?" "Ah, yes. I, ah, I , ha-ha, I ha-ha, think so. I don't seem to be hurt, anyway." "Wouldn't you like to come out of the closet now?" "I'm not sure." "Oh, don't worry. Doctor Tofu has gone home." "So where did you guys run into Kasumi, anyways?" an extraordinarily lovely, red-headed girl asked from behind Akane Tendo. "Does he act like that very often?" Shimazu asked. "Not that often anymore. Only when Kasumi surprises him right, Ranma?" The red-headed girl nodded her head slowly. Shimazu reluctantly came out of the closet. "Hi, I'm Ranma Saotome!" The red-headed girl said with a huge grin and outstretched hand. Shimazu was amazed by the girl's steely grip and the oddly placed calluses on her hand. Definitely a martial artist, Shimazu
thought. "Ranma Saotome? Isn't there a boy by that name living around here." "That's me!" the red-headed girl said cheerfully, "I'm really a guy." Shimazu blinked. The girl was well endowed and was wearing a tank top with no brassier. No way those are fake, Shimazu thought. If she's a guy, I'm a Martian. Shimazu smiled. She smiled very carefully. "Oh, well! That is a very effective disguise." "Oh, it's no disguise," Akane said, "Ranma has this peculiar sort of curse." "A curse?" Shimazu asked, becoming alarmed. "I think there's some warm water left on the hot plate, Akane," Ranma said glumly she began walking out of the room, "I'll go get it. There's no point in trying to explain. A demonstration always works better." Akane nodded. Shimazu stared for a moment, then began scouring the room for a hidden camera. She was still looking when the red-headed girl returned and handed her a kettle. "Here, pour this on my head," the red-headed girl said. Shimazu carefully poured a stream of water from the kettle onto the girl's head, then her shoulder as she suddenly gained height and Shimazu found herself looking up at an extraordinarily well built, handsome hunk of a young man. This was him! This was _the_ Ranma Saotome. The love of Kodachi Kuno's life. "Hey! Are you okay? You ain't gonna faint or nothin' are ya?" the handsome young man asked. His voice was a melodious baritone. Akane helped Shimazu sit down in a chair. "You must be new around here," Akane said cheerfully, "You've got that look." Shimazu shook her head, trying to clear it. "Yep. She's new here," Ranma said with a chuckle. "I don't...I don't live in Nerima," Shimazu said in a faint voice, "I have been working here for about a year. I don't shop here or socialize very much with the people that live in Nerima." "Oh! That explains it," Ranma and Akane chorused, then smiled at her. "It does?" Shimazu asked. "Well, yeah. If you lived here that long you'd understand," Ranma said. "I would?" "He means you'd be accustomed to what goes on around here by now, Shimazu-san. No sane person really understands it." "I am _so_ glad to hear that!" Shimazu said. The relief in her voice was genuine. Ranma and Akane gave her a pair of sympathetic smiles. "It does take some gettin' used to," Ranma said, "but Nerima sort of grows on you after a while." "Did...did you start changing like this after you came to Nerima?" Shimazu asked. "Naw. There's nothin' _that_ dangerous around here. Well, not unless Pantyhose Tarou shows up. I picked up my curse in China." "Pantyhose? In China?" "Ah, well you see, Pantyhose Taro is this guy that's got a curse sorta like mine, but he lives in China. He only shows up around here once in a while." "He turns into a girl and his name is Pantyhose?" Ranma started to explain, but Akane cut him off. "Ranma, I think she's had all she can handle for one night." "Yeah, your probably right. Say, Shimazu-san, it is gettin' kinda late. Can we walk you to the bus stop or somethin'?" "Oh, would you?" Akane gave her a warm smile and nodded her head. "Lemme get some cold water, and I'll go with you two," Ranma said. "Cold water?" Shimazu asked. Akane nodded her head. "Cold water turns him into a girl," Akane said in a conspiratorial whisper, "He wants everybody he can to know that we're never alone together here unless he's in his girl form." "Oh! I was thinking hot water turned her into a boy. Why would he want to be a girl?" Akane shrugged. "He's afraid our parents might make us marry if he stays with me overnight as a guy." "Oh, well that makes sense," Shimazu said, as she nodded her head. It really did make sense. Shimazu found the fact that it made sense to somehow be frightening. Things like this should not make sense at all, but this did. She shuddered. Was she becoming acclimated that quickly? Onna-Ranma walked back into the room. The thin cotton of his shirt was soaked through with water and even though it was a dark colored, the wet shirt made his change of form hard to miss. Shimazu stared without meaning to. (Look at her, Saotome. She probably wants to see our X- rays. Curiosity is eating her alive.) (So why don't we let her see, Red? It won't hurt nothin'. She's a woman and a doctor.) (You just want to show off, pervert.) (You love it and you know it, Red.) "I know what your thinking," Onna-Ranma said, "You're a doctor, right?" Shimazu nodded her head. Onna-Ranma removed his shirt and slowly turned around. "It is a complete change isn't it? You are completely female, skeleton and all!" "Just my body is female," Onna-Ranma growled. Shimazu stifled a giggle while Onna-Ranma put his shirt back on. The
growl had been an octave or so higher than it should have been, but it had been a most masculine growl. Shimazu shook her head. She was having a very difficult time maintaining her grip upon reality. The look in the red-headed girl's blue eyes had the confident, tiger-like gaze of a young man just now growing into his prime. Yes, there was no doubt about it. Shimazu was not being fooled by any sort of legerdemain. What she was seeing was real. She let the air out of her lungs once she realized she had been holding her breath. "You okay?" Onna-Ranma asked. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for asking, Saotome-san." Onna-Ranma smiled. It was a very charming smile. "It is a little hard to get used to," Akane said with a smile. "Shall we go to the bus stop?" Tofu had not given Shimazu time to collect her shoes at the restaurant, so Akane insisted that Shimazu use her geta while Akane wore Tofu's. Onna-Ranma could not wear Tofu's geta, the feet of his female form being entirely too small. On the way to the bus stop, Onna-Ranma seemed to have a mild attack of vertigo. "Are you all right, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Aw I just got a little dizzy is all. No nausea or anything." "What are you being treated for, Saotome-san? That is if you don't mind my asking." "I don't mind. I got hit on the head pretty hard during training Sunday and it gave me a mild concussion. I'm feelin' a lot better today, but Doc Tofu won't let me go home." "Well I should hope not!" Shimazu said, "You shouldn't even be out of bed, much less...My goodness! Where is all that heat coming from?" Much to her alarm, she could distinctly see the wavering distortions of heat waves surrounding Onna-Ranma. Moving closer to him, Shimazu could actually feel the heat pouring out of him. It was almost as though her newly made acquaintance had suddenly become a stove or a heater. It was mind boggling. She had never met anyone with such a powerful ki. "Ranma? Are you sure you are all right?" Akane asked, "Do you need something to eat?" "Naw, I'm not hungry. I guess I must have soaked up too much heat last night." "You want me to call Doctor Tofu?" Akane asked. "What would he do, Akane? I'm the one that's gotta figure out how to deal with this," Onna-Ranma said as he held his hands together at their heels above his head. A large, globe of crawling light, formed between his hands. It reminded Shimazu of a plasma globe. The light was primarily golden in color, but had many strands of differing colors crawling around within its confines, as though Onna-Ranma had just made a bubble of plasma. She could not know it for not even Ranma or Akane yet knew or understood that this was exactly what Ranma had just done. The globe grew from the size of a grapefruit to the size of a basketball in seconds. Once the size of a basket ball, it rose up into the air like a soap bubble until it was about thirty meters above their heads, then burst into a colorful display of light similar to an aurora borealis. Shimazu could only blink. "Boy, that was weird!" Onna-Ranma said, "I feel better now though. Am I still hot?" Akane stepped closer to the red-headed girl and wave her hand around Onna-Ranma's head and body. "It seems to have stopped, Ranma." "Man, I'm sure glad I decided to sleep during the day today. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had done something like this in my sleep?" Neither Akane nor Shimazu could of course. None of them were even sure of what they had just seen. "What was that, Ranma?" Akane asked. "I ain't really sure, Akane. I released a little ki and it just happened." "Are you sure you don't want me to call Doctor Tofu?" "Akane, you saw what kind of shape he was in when he left. We'll just have to wait until he gets over his Kasumi attack." "Kasumi attack?" Shimazu asked. "Poor Doctor Tofu is in love with my oldest sister, Kasumi," Akane said, "The problem is that he is so shy he has a little breakdown every time she gets near him." "A breakdown? Is that what you call it?" "Well, I'm not sure what else it should be called. Usually he dances all over the neighborhood with his skeleton, he calls it Betty, until he is worn completely out. Sometimes if he is someplace where Betty isn't within reach, he uses some innocent bystander as a substitute. I hope he didn't frighten you too much tonight. He really is a nice man he just...loses control a little around my sister." "A little? He turned into a raving lunatic!" Shimazu said. After a moment's reflection she added, "But at least he's a sweet lunatic." "He really is a good doctor. We just have to find a way to help him with his Kasumi problem," Akane said. "Maybe we should try
treating him the way they were gonna treat me for my fear of...of..ca..ca." "Cats," Akane finished for Onna-Ranma "Yeah." "You're afraid of cats, Ranma?" Ranma shivered. "Believe me, Ranma is much worse about cats than Doctor Tofu is about Kasumi." "Have you considered undergoing desensitizing, Ranma?" "Doc Tofu said it's too risky in my case, but I wonder if it wouldn't work for him and Kasumi." "It might," Shimazu said," but it is bound to be inconvenient for him to undergo the treatment. His patient load has been pretty heavy." "Yeah, I know. I see him quite a bit myself," Ranma said. "Oh, look! There's your bus, Shimazu-san." Part of Saeko Shimazu wanted to stay and see what happened next. Another part of her, the part with all her practical survival instincts, insisted that she board the bus. It won her internal argument. She sat down and turned in her seat as the bus pulled away so she could see out the back glass. Onna-Ranma was producing yet another globule of energy between his hands. This one was easily twice the diameter of the first one. The glowing globe drifted up into the night sky. She turned back around facing the front of the bus and caught the driver's eye in his rear-view mirror. "Your name wouldn't happen to be Rod Serling, would it?" The driver gave her a knowing smile. "No, but I bet you were hoping it was, right?" Shimazu made no reply, but instead sat back in her seat and wondered if the real estate offices in Australia were open at the moment. She had only the vaguest idea about which time zone Australia was in. The driver just laughed and shook his head. ----------- Ko Lon finished loading her largest stock pot and put it on to simmer. One of the secrets to her success in the restaurant business in Japan had been her use of chicken stock to supplement the usual soup stocks preferred by the Japanese, which were made by simmering bonito flakes. There wasn't anything wrong with such a stock of course, but the difference in her stock made for a pleasant break from the usual in Japan. Making a good stock was one of the keys to a successful noodle business and in this case, chicken stock was her secret weapon. Stock made from bonito had to be watched closely and the bonito flakes strained out at the right time or the stock would be too salty. Chicken stock on the other hand could be made with a low flame under a large pot overnight without being watched. She had marked where to set the flames so that the large pot would never quite come to boiling. A boiled stock would be cloudy and while this did not hurt its flavor, most Japanese would turn up their noses at it. She was tired and thankful for the ever persistent Muu Su. He had come through like a true Amazon for once. No complaints, just hard work. He had already loaded the pull cart with cushions, prepared for Xian Pu's return. Ko Lon set bowl of soba and a flagon of water on a table for her. Then decided to go upstairs and fetch her's and Xian Pu's bath things. There was little point in making the exhausted Xian Pu do it. Too much was riding on the girl's legs over the next several weeks. Half way up the stairs, Ko Lon felt a surge of ki. This was different from the horrible night before. This was a brief, very powerful burst. Ko Lon gasped aloud, then gritted her teeth as she mustered all her strength. "Careful, Ranma! That can cause real trouble!" Ko Lon said with her ki voice. The effort brought her down to her knees. It had been necessary though. There were several dangers to involved in what the boy was doing, all of them potentially fatal. She rested for several moments. Damn this wedding mess! She thought. I really do need to talk to the child. He might kill himself mastering the Cold Dragon's Gift without help. For that matter, Ranma might kill himself with Ko Lon's help, but at least with a little help he stood a chance. Thunder rumbled outside while Ko Lon waited for her strength to return. The trouble with using ki to communicate was that you were so old by the time you learned enough to use it, you were too old to use it. "Honored Elder?" "What is it, Muu Su?" "Xian Pu's here!" "There's food for her on one of the tables down there. Tell her to go ahead and eat. I'll get our bath things." "I would, but she's already asleep." "Asleep? Where?" "In the cart. She never came inside. She just fell across the cushions and went to sleep." "All right! I'll be down shortly. Why don't you to go head and start for the bath house." "Yes, ma'am." "Oh, and Muu Su?" "Yes?" "Load our umbrellas!" "Already got 'em, Honored Elder!" "You've done well, child!" Ko
Lon called down to him. Damn! She thought. I should never have called him that. Now I'll have to spend the next week reducing the swelling in his head! She got up from where she had been sitting upon the stairs and made her way up to their living quarters. Just a little more to do and she could sleep for a few hours. Well, maybe she could sleep for a few hours. Ranma might well keep her awake tonight. Those gifted by the Cold Dragon were sometimes known to cause a bit of trouble with the weather. Or at least that is what the old records said could happen. Ko Lon was not all that sure of that she had read them correctly, or that she could actually believe it if she had. Ancient writings were often heavy on allegory and short on hard facts. ----------- "Did you say something, Akane?" Onna-Ranma asked as he and Akane watched his latest creation float up towards the clouds. "No, I didn't say anything. Why?" "I thought you said to be careful, because what I was doing could be dangerous." "I didn't say anything." "Hey, look! It's going to reach the clouds!" They craned their necks and watched as the glowing globe disappeared into the cloud base. It became a fuzzy bright spot, then without warning lightning shot out from in all directions through the cloud. A few seconds later they heard a thunderclap. "Whoa!" Onna-Ranma said. "That was amazing, Ranma." (Yo! Soatome!) (Yeah Red, what is it.) (That had to have been the old Ghoul talkin' to us.) "Ah, it was probably just a coincidence, Akane." (Are you nuts? She ain't even around here.) "I don't know, Ranma. It looked like it caused that lightning to me." (I think Akane's right and I'm sure that was Ko Lon we heard, Saotome.) "Why don't we go inside?" Ranma asked sounding worried, "I'm feelin' a little tired." "You just want to get me inside because you're afraid I might get hurt, you baka." "I can't hold up all that good to lightning either, you know." Light drops of rain began to fall. "Ranma, you have to start telling me what is going on! You can't just keep making decisions without explaining what..." "Can we discuss this inside?" (Yo, Red!) (Yeah, yeah! I'm on it, Saotome. Nap time for you.) "I suppose, but don't plan on changing the subject on me, Ranma!" "All right already! Let's just get in out of the weather, okay?" They went inside. "Why won't you ever tell me what is going on?" Akane asked, clearly aggrieved. "For one thing, you almost never let me finish when I try!" "I..." "For another, I usually have a hard time figuring out what to say. And sometimes I just don't want to or there ain't time because of the situation." "Okay," Akane said sounding exasperated, "so now we'll make the time and I'll let you finish, Ranma!" They stared at one another for a silent moment, eyes hard and shining. Akane blinked first. She took both his hands in her own. "What is going on with you, Ranma?" She asked, sounding contrite. "I wish I knew, Akane. Not knowing scares the hell out of me!" Onna-Ranma answered in a quavering voice. (DAMMIT, RED! YOU NEVER ADMIT YOU'RE SCARED.) (Hey! We're talking to Akane here, not Pantyhose or Shit-daddy. Besides, right now we're scared we're going hurt somebody without meaning to.) (Yeah, okay. But you go easy on that stuff! OOF!) (I'm gonna hug her back.) (It ain't manly!) (Saotome, you really are an idiot sometimes. Huggin' a girl is _very_ manly.) "Akane?" "Hmm?" "What really frightens me most is that you might get hurt. My control isn't all that great right now. I never dreamed that anything like this might happen to me. I never even heard of anything like this happenin' to anybody." "Who might know something about it, Ranma? We could go to them for help." "Ko Lon might, but I don't want to talk to her right now. She would just try to take advantage it." Akane sighed. "Has Doctor Tofu told you what he really thinks is wrong with you? Besides the concussion, I mean?" "There's something wrong besides the concussion?" "He thinks you've been under too much stress. He says it's not too different from combat fatigue." (DID YOU HEAR THAT?) (Yeah I did, Saotome. You gotta admit, it makes a little sense.) (WE'VE GONE CRAZY! WE'RE GONNA GET LOCKED UP IN A NUT WARD!) (Will you calm down? Now isn't exactly a good time to go nuts.) (HUH?) "How come he ain't said nothin' to me about it, Akane?" "I think he's been planning to tell you, after your concussion healed up some. It wouldn't have helped to tell you anything about it while you were still sick from that." "Yeah, probably so." "He says you have to rest, and not fight anybody." "Not even you, huh?" "Especially not me." "How long?" "I don't think he knows for
sure Ranma, but from what he told me, I think he believes you will be fine after you have had some rest. He said my dad cries all the time because he didn't get rest when he really needed it." "Oh, really?" (Aw, man! I don't wanna end up like Soun!) (Me neither, Saotome. I guess we try to relax, huh?) (Come on, Red! In Nerima? And what is up with all this weird, ki stuff we've been doin'?) (I don't know anymore than you do. As for relaxing in Nerima, we just lay low for as long as we can, ne?) (I guess Nabiki was right about staying here at the clinic for a while then, huh?) (Looks that way, Saotome.) "He said that if Dad had gotten away from whatever was bothering him for a while, he might not be like he is today." "Geez, Akane! I had no idea." "Me either, Ranma, but I don't want you to end up like Daddy." "Don't worry, Akane! I ain't gonna! Can you imagine what Mom would do?" "Try not to worry about that too much, Ranma. It causes stress." Onna-Ranma laughed. (Yo, Red!) (Yeah, I know! It's happenin' again.) "Ranma?" "I gotta go outside again, Akane. Stay here." "Ranma I..." "Stay here! There ain't nothin' you can do to help and you might get hurt." "But Ranma I don't want you to be alone." "Okay, watch me from the back door, but be ready to duck." "Okay." Onna-Ranma walked outside and into the rain as fast as he could. Running was out of the question. His head still bothered him too much for running. Once outside, he tried to use his ki again as he had done earlier in the evening, but could not form a mass of ki the way he had earlier. What he got was a big wad of steam and hot water. "Hey! I just turned back into a guy! Didja see that, Akane?" "Ranma I can hear your voice, but I can't see you. There's too much mist." "It ain't mist, Akane! It's steam." "Aw, man!" Otoko-Ranma said sounding both frightened and frustrated, "Now I'm turnin' into Safuron!" Akane's eyes widened with horror as the cloud of steam surrounding Ranma began to glow with the strange, crawling energy Ranma had produced earlier. It formed a dome that completely engulfed Ranma for a few seconds, then leapt skyward, becoming spiraling column of scintillating colors as it did so. As quickly as the top of this column disappeared into the dark sky overhead, a bolt of lightning struck the ground in the midst of the steam an vapors surrounding Ranma. This was quickly followed by an ear splitting blast of thunder. The air literally stank from ozone. Akane ran out the door towards the rapidly dissipating vapor. Within it she found a girl type Ranma. His eyes wide with shock. His hair was standing straight up on end and his eyebrows were singed. "Ranma, are you okay?" "What'dja say, Akane? My ears are ringin' I can barely hear ya!" Onna-Ranma shouted. "Are you all right?" Akane shouted. "Yeah, I think so! My ears hurt, but I think that'll pass!" OnnaRanma looked down. The lightning had struck the pavement right in front of him and the paths it took through the pavement as it dissipated left odd, squirmy little trails of melted asphalt and shattered stones. "Whoa! Lookit that, Akane!" Akane looked down and gasped. "I guess it's a good thing I was wearin' these geta, huh?" Akane said nothing. She just hugged the breath out of him again. ----------- Muu Su and Ko Lon stood outside the bathhouse holding umbrellas. Xian Pu was sound asleep in the cart sheltered from the rain by a tarpaulin Muu Su had rigged over it. "That was strange looking lightning!" Mu Su said. "Yes, it was unusual," Ko Lon said. She considered calling to Ranma with her ki voice again, but knew she dare not risk it. Dammit all! She had to find a way to talk to the boy. He was going to kill himself and perhaps others if she didn't. "It was Saotome, wasn't it, Honored Elder." "Yes, Muu Su, it was. That was very perceptive of you. How did you guess?" "Oh, that's easy. Weird stuff almost always happens to him first, then it comes around and gets the rest of us." Ko Lon cackled. "What's so funny?" Muu Su asked. "When you get to be my age, child, boredom is your greatest enemy." "Is that why we're still here?" "Partly, Muu Su, but there are other, far more important reasons as well. Let's get in out of this weather, shall we?" "Yes, ma'am." ----------- Nabiki Tendo lay on her bed listening to the rain fall. It had just about lulled her to sleep despite her worries when one of her cellular telephones began making rude noises. She picked it up from the lamp table and flipped it open. "Tendo!" She growled into the phone. "This had better be good!" "You heard Xian Pu has a new bicycle?" "Yeah, so?" "It's a much better bicycle
than the one she was riding." "Ah, I see your point. I'll adjust the odds in the morning." "There's more, though." "Okay, shoot." "The guy that owns this shop never works more than eight hours a day, usually less." "So?" "So right now, his shop is still open and people and material have been coming and going out of here since early this afternoon. He's building another bicycle on a rush basis." "You think he's building a special bicycle just for Xian Pu." "Yeah. And what's more, I've never seen a bicycle quite like this one. It's either going to be a brilliant design that turns out to be a trend setter, or a complete flop." "Hmm. Good job. I'll adjust the odds in the morning. Can you get me a picture of this new bicycle.?" "I think you'll be able to see it for yourself sometime tomorrow morning. The frame came in here a few minutes already painted and baked out. I think he'll be through with it be ten tomorrow." "I see. Look, I don't know that much about bicycles. What's so unique about this one." "It's got this weird new spring arrangement on it. It should help the cyclist make better use of his muscle while making the bike ride smoother." "You think that makes a big difference?" "It will make a huge difference if he kept the weight down and the thing is at all durable." "Okay. Keep me posted on progress tomorrow. I've got to get some sleep." "Good night, Tendo-san." "Good night, Jiro." Nabiki fell across the bed and let the rain lull her to sleep. "Fools and their money," she murmered, "Fools and their money."
E-Mail Me
Comes The Cold Dragon "Are you sure you're okay, Ranma?" They were standing in the hall of Tofu's clinic, just inside the back door. "I'm sure, Akane. Whatever that was, it's completely gone now." Onna-Ranma looked up into Akane's eyes hoping to reassure her. Outside a soft, cold rain continued to fall. It would have been romantic if the two of them had not been soaked to the skin and shivering from the cold. "Let's get out of these wet clothes," Akane said softly. "Good idea," Ranma said as they broke eye contact. Akane started down the hall towards their room. "Akane?" She stopped and turned around. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." "You couldn't help it, Ranma," Akane said, "I'm not mad at you." Akane watched Onna-Ranma closely for a reaction as she tried without success to suppress a shiver. She was too frightened and too cold to fend it off. Onna-Ranma's eyes grew sad. He reached towards Akane as though he wanted to offer comfort, but stopped himself. Then just stood staring at her with woebegone eyes while he shivered. Why did he stop? Akane silently asked herself. Is it because he is afraid of how I might react? Or is he uncomfortable being intimate with me while the curse is on him? Maybe it's both. I've yelled at him enough times about touching me whenever he's in his girl form. Her train of thought took a completely different track when she noticed the wrinkle lines on Onna-Ranma's forehead. There were lines around his eyes and mouth as well. He's more afraid than I am, she realized. He just won't admit to it. He _can't_ admit to it. He would lose control. His legs are shaking and...Akane's thoughts were again interrupted when the light in the brightly lit hallway suddenly dimmed. She looked up. The hallway was lit with fluorescent lighting and the one meter long tubes were glowing as
brightly and as peacefully as ever, but their light was not making its way into the area around her and Onna-Ranma. She looked back at Onna-Ranma. He looked as though he were standing in a deep shadow that was quickly growing darker. Akane could now feel the air temperature falling. He's losing control again! She thought. Even as Akane watched, the air around her fiance absorbed more and more light until only the faintest traces of him could be seen. A fine, barely discernible fog was beginning to fill the air around them. "No!" Akane shouted, "Ranma, you stop that this instant!" "Akane..." "Ranma!" Akane screamed, then plunged into the shadows that had engulfed him. Once inside the dark globe that had formed around Onna-Ranma, she could see him. The light was very dim, but there was still light. The air within the sphere was quite cold and getting colder. "Akane get back!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, trying to force her voice to stay calm and almost succeeding, "You get back into control. I'm keeping my place." "Your place is somewhere safe!" Onna-Ranma screamed, "Out of danger, and that's wherever I tell you to be!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, quite calmly but with real iron in her voice, "My place is with you. In danger, out of danger, in heaven or in hell, wherever you are, there am I. Now and forever, Ranma!" "Dammit, Akane!" Onna-Ranma choked on her shriek as her shivering became almost spasmodic. "I ain't got no control over this!" "I love you, Ranma Saotome," Akane said, hearing with amazement as her own voice suddenly became as firm and as gentle as Kasumi's, "I believe in you." The air was now cold enough that their breaths could be seen despite the low level of light reaching them. Onna- Ranma dropped heavily to the floor and sat staring up at Akane with pleading eyes. "Akane, please! Please, get back!" Akane dropped to the floor alongside her beleaguered love and caressed his cheek with her right hand. Onna-Ranma's skin was cold and clammy, but still much warmer than the surrounding air. Bright, bluish tendrils of light began to flicker in and out of existence in the cold darkness around them. "I'm not going anywhere, Ranma," Akane said in a calm whisper, "You are my protector. I'm only safe when I am with you." Onna-Ranma choked off a sob, then took a deep breath and held it. After a few seconds, the light suddenly became so bright that both of them were forced to blink. Onna-Ranma let out her long-held breath with a great sigh. "Stubborn, baka!" Onna-Ranma shouted between gasps for air. Akane just smirked at him as she stood up and offered him her hands. Onna-Ranma accepted the offer and Akane helped him to his feet. "I knew you could do it!" Akane said with such a cheerful note in her voice that Kasumi would have stuck a gold star on Akane's forehead had she heard it. Onna-Ranma was not so impressed. "You coulda got killed!" "No way, Ranma," Akane said with an evil grin, "All you needed to do was take control of yourself, and there was no way you were going to let anything you were doing hurt me." They stood holding hands for a long time, just staring into one another's eyes. It was Akane that broke the prolonged silence. "Ranma, this is almost as though you have grown new legs," she said, "You just have to learn how to use them, that's all." Neither Akane nor Ranma had any way of knowing how close to the truth her analogy was. Onna-Ranma broke the spell by taking stock of their surroundings. "Uh, Akane?" "Yes, Ranma?" "Your hands are freezing. Why don't you go get a hot shower and warm up? While you're doin' that, I'll mop up all this water." About half the hallway was covered in condensation and water that had dripped from their soaking wet clothing. Akane giggled. This was the one of the things that truly puzzled her about Ranma. He was compulsively neat. He was not quite as bad as Kasumi, but he truly hated having anything out of place. She remembered all the times he cleaned up the messes left behind by Hinako-sensei and bit her lower lip. Then she giggled again. A distant flash of lightning brightened the room. There was a brief pause, then thunder rumbled around them. "Okay, Ranma." "I'll see if I can find a hanger for your dress." "Thanks." Akane made her way to the tiny bathroom only to find that her zipper was stuck, not at all unusual for one of her cotton sundresses. There was no way she could pull the dress off over her head while it was wet. She struggled with the zipper with shaky hands for a few minutes until frustration got the best of her. "Ooh! Will you please just break loose!" Akane shouted. The echoes of her voice in the tiny bath
hurt her ears. There was knock at the door. "Akane? Are you okay?" "I'm fine!" Akane said, unable to keep the exasperation out of voice, "It's just that my zipper is stuck." "You want me to help?" Onna-Ranma's voice sounded positively fearful. Akane smiled. "Would you, please?" Onna-Ranma came into the bath looking as though he feared for his life. Akane suppressed a giggle. She really couldn't blame him for that, could she? He had already changed into a dry tank top and a pair of boxers. Akane turned around so that he could reach the zipper. He had more than a little trouble with it. He had to zip it all the way up before he could pull it back down and it tried to catch a couple of times. Akane shrugged off her dress before he could leave the room. "Did you bring the hanger?" "Ah--no," OnnaRanma said, looking somewhat alarmed, "I'll go get it right now." "I guess it's time to let him know how I really feel about his curse," Akane whispered to herself as he left the room. "Maybe then he'll be a little more at peace with himself. Kami knows, he's got enough to deal with already. The least I can do is make sure he understands how little his curse bothers me anymore." She wrung the dress out over the tub until Ranma returned. "This is the only empty hanger we've got left, Akane," Ranma said as he walked back into the room. She handed him her dress. He made a show of putting it on the hanger without looking at her. Akane giggled inside. He wants to stare, but he's afraid I'll get mad. She turned her back to him and began struggling with her bra-strap. "Could you undo this for me, Ranma?" "Uh...er..uh...are you sure?" Onna-Ranma stammered as he hung the dress on the hook Tofu had installed on the bathroom door. "Please? It's wet and I can't get a good grip on it." "Okay,"Onna-Ranma said in a tiny, squeaking voice. Akane could feel his shaking hands as they fumbled with her brassier. It took him a minute or more to figure out how the clasp worked. "Give me your hands, Ranma," Akane said as she felt her brassiere go slack. She held her arms back while quickly opening and closing her hands. Akane could not see Onna- Ranma's face, but could easily imagine how it must look. She smiled to herself. When Onna-Ranma fearfully touched her fingers, Akane seized his wrists, then pulled him towards her until she could feel his body pressed against her back. "You're so warm," Akane said in a soft voice. "Eep." Akane smiled, then slid Onna-Ranma's tiny hands beneath her bra and pressed their palms against her breasts. Oh, kami-sama it felt good! Onna-Ranma began shaking and pressed one cheek against her back. Akane felt Onna-Ranma's tears before she heard his suppressed sob. "I love you, Akane!" OnnaRanma said, as he pressed their bodies together in a fierce hug. Akane moaned, luxuriating in his firm embrace and the pressure of his hands against her nipples. She wanted more. She wanted a lot more, but it was too soon. We aren't ready for that, yet. She thought. "Akane?" "I know, Ranma," Akane said as she pulled his hands away from her breasts and pushed them down to her waist. She released his hands and turned around. Ranma stepped back a little in cooperation. Akane looked into Onna-Ranma's sea- blue eyes and smiled. "I love you, Ranma." Onna-Ranma was looking very confused and very fragile. Akane realized that she would have to be very careful at this point. The least little thing would shatter him. For all his courage and all his power, Ranma was easily crushed. Akane wished she had realized it sooner. "You are _my_ man," Akane said as she gently laid her palms on either side of Ranma's lovely face. "My only man." OnnaRanma looked as though he had very serious doubts and more than a few questions that he was afraid to ask. Akane smiled, knowing that words never came easily to him. She bent down and kissed him gently on the lips. The fire that raged in both their bodies shocked her. The kiss plunged them into the depths of a passion long felt, but never appeased. Thunder rolled several times, driving the flames higher. Finally, the need for air forced them to break. Akane pressed Onna-Ranma's head to her chest and stroked his hair. "I could never do anything like this with a girl, you know." Onna-Ranma wept. Akane held him tight and kissed the top of his head. "I really do love you, Ranma," Akane whispered to him as the sound of gentle rain filled the quiet of the clinic. "You are the only man I know worthy of me." "Akane," he paused to sob, "I can't." Onna-Ranma's voice failed him again, "I don't..." "Shh, Ranma," Akane said, "Just let me hold you. I'll always be here to
help." "Do you really mean it?" "I love you, Ranma." "Even when I'm cursed?" "You're still my Ranma, even when you're cursed," Akane said in a soft, reassuring voice, "Maybe especially when you're cursed. I think it's made you more of a man than you could have been otherwise." Onna-Ranma's tears came hot and fast. "I don't feel very manly right now, Akane." "If ever there was a single human being anywhere on this earth that deserves a good cry right now, it's you, Ranma Saotome." Onna-Ranma shuddered, unable to stop the tears. Akane knew to the very depths of her soul that she was the only woman on earth that he could trust this much. Not even his mother could stand by him in this crisis. Outside, there was a bright flash, followed by a loud crash of thunder and the lights went out in the clinic. Akane scooped Onna-Ranma up into her arms and walked out into the hall. He clung to her neck with both arms while laying his head against her shoulder. Akane felt the heat of his tears as they trickled across her skin. It made her shudder. She set Onna-Ranma down gently on his bed. Onna- Ranma rolled onto his side and took Akane's right hand in both of his own. "Go get your shower, Akane. I'm better now." "Are you sure?" Onna-Ranma nodded, then pressed Akane's hand to his lips. "I won't be long, Ranma." "Akane?" "Yes?" "Will you come say good night before you go to bed?" Onna-Ranma asked in a quavering voice. Akane kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, Ranma. I won't leave you alone. I'll be right back, okay?" "Okay," he said in a thin, faint voice as he gently squeezed her hand. The sound of his voice stabbed at Akane's heart. This was the young giant that had destroyed two different mountains. The man who could get into a fight with the son of a dragon, or even a kami and still live to tell about it. Now he was reduced to begging her to come say good night. For the very first time in her life, Akane Tendo actually felt needed. There could be no doubts or second thoughts on the matter. Ranma needed to be loved and comforted by her, not by Ukyo, not by Xian Pu, not even by his mother, Nodoka. Ranma needed her, Akane Tendo. With the realization that Ranma's needed her and not someone else, came the knowledge that she, Akane Tendo, really was a woman and that all the things that had been said about her that caused her self-doubts were false. For the first time in her life she felt womanly. She was in fact, feeling very, very womanly. "Be strong for me, Ranma," Akane whispered fiercely, "You are my man among men." "I will, Akane," Onna-Ranma sighed, "I expected ya to dump me a long time ago." "Hmph! You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" Akane teased. "What the hell is a flaming kami and few bombs to a kawaii-kune tomboy like me, hmm? None of those other girls could hold up to all we've been through, now could they?" Onna-Ranma managed something like a sickly smile, so Akane returned to the shower. She did not stay long. She was there just long enough to freshen up and make a decision or two. Maybe she should teach Ranma a thing or two before their new life began. After all, nothing would be the same after they left this clinic. Whether or not anyone else ever noticed, nothing would be the same again. Akane knew that things would, if anything, be even more difficult in the near future. Their lives were not going to become simple anytime soon. They had too many known problems to deal with already and only the kami could know how much trouble remained to be discovered in the near future. What they needed now, as in immediately, was a way to form an unbreakable bond. Akane was determined to make that happen tonight. Too many opportunities had been lost to them in the past and an opportunity like this one was unlikely to present itself again for long time to come. For the moment, they were secure from prying eyes and listening ears. There were no worries about hidden cameras or obsessed parents hoping for an excuse to break out wedding invitations. And for once, for the first time in almost a year, Akane would not have to worry about some bitch of a martial artist interrupting them. Tonight's the night! Akane thought. May all the kami forgive me, for I am not going to give Ranma any choice. Tonight, I make him mine forever. Akane struck a Kuno-esque pose and whispered, "Tonight I will cleave unto thee, Ranma Saotome! And thou shalt cleave unto me. The rest of the world be damned for all I care." The lights came back on and Akane giggled at the way she had been acting. She donned her bathrobe, then walked back into their room. Onna-Ranma was curled up on his left side,
staring blankly at the wall. Akane turned off the light in the room so that the only light left was that which came in through the window from the street light outside. The rain had lessened a little, but still sighed softly against the windowpanes. Akane untied her robe as she reached the side of Ranma's bed, then let it fall to the floor. She hesitated at the bedside, savoring the sensation of being naked in Ranma's presence. Onna-Ranma seemed to stiffen. I wonder if he can tell already? Akane thought as she slid into the bed along side his deliciously muscled, female form. He senses things other people can't. She scooted over until her breasts were pressed firmly against Onna-Ranma's muscular back, then kissed the nape of his neck, right where it joined his shoulder. Onna-Ranma breathed in sharply and held it in. Akane smiled to herself and kissed the side of his neck, just below his right ear as she ran the palm of her right hand over the firm muscles of Onna-Ranma's stomach. "Hmmm," Onna-Ranma groaned. "Akane, what are you doing?" "Teaching you how to seduce me when the time comes," Akane said as she cupped his left breast with her right hand. And teach him she did. The room filled, unnoticed, with a bright, red glow, shot through with coruscating bands of golden light as Ranma and Akane's auras merged into a single, glorious display of requited love, too long held at bay. A few minutes later, the rain falling outside turned the color of glittering rubies and molten gold as their passion peaked and the building failed to contain the power of it. Akane shifted the her weight off her elbow once they finally broke their kiss for air, then settled her head in the hollow of Onna-Ranma's powerful shoulder. She kissed his cheek, reveling in the feel of her body pressed up against his heaving ribs. She waited quietly, wondering what would he would do to her once he recovered. Whatever he decided, she was more than ready. Hopefully, he would go for hot water. The still unnoticed glow of their blended aura dimmed as it changed to deep orange color of banked coals. ---------- - "Would you like me to scrub your back, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked. "Oh, would you Auntie?" Kasumi sounded delighted, "I haven't had anyone here to do that for me since Mother died." "Of course, dear!" Nodoka said, "I sometimes think that the definition of true loneliness is having no one to help you wash your back." Kasumi chuckled. "You never bathe with your sisters?" Nodoka asked. "No, not for several years now," Kasumi said with a fond smile, "They decided they were too grown up to bathe with me several years ago." Nodoka smiled at this as she began work on Kasumi's back. "The four of us should visit the sentou soon," Nodoka said, remembering that some of the best gab-fests that she had ever had with her friends happened while they were at the public baths. Of course, when she was still a young girl, the sentou was not an option. Very few homes had their own furo in those days and the public bath was a necessary institution. Nowadays, the sentou was becoming a form of family entertainment to be indulged in only on weekends. "That would be fun," Kasumi said, then with a teasing note in her voice added, "We could invite Ranma along and make it five." Nodoka chuckled, then answered, "That would be letting a fox in amongst the chickens." "Ranma is actually a very chivalrous young man," Kasumi said. "Yes, and very much a man, even when his curse is upon him," Nodoka said with more than a little pride in her voice, "The women of Nerima should be thankful for his chivalry." "It may interest you to know that he is a constant thorn in Master Happosai's side," Kasumi said with a giggle, "Ranma seems to enjoy interrupting his depredations." "With spectacular results, I'm sure." "And very often amusing as well." "I hope your sister snares him soon," Nodoka said with a sigh. "I look forward to being a grandmother, but I don't want to be an _old_ grandmother." "Oh, I'm pretty sure she has already snared him, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said with a shiver as Nodoka poured fresh, cold water on her soapy back, "I think now she isn't all that sure she wants to saddle him." "Then she shouldn't bother with a saddle and simply ride him bareback," Nodoka said with a smile in her voice as she turned her back to Kasumi. Kasumi silently soaped a rag as she thought those implications through. She blushed once she finally sorted out Nodoka's meaning. "I don't think Ranma will accept the responsibility of a wife and child until he is certain he can take care of them,
Aunt Nodoka." "Why would he worry about that?" "I hate to say this," Kasumi said in a tiny voice as she began work on Nodoka's back, "but I think he wants to avoid being anything at all like his father outside The Art." Kasumi became more than a little alarmed as she felt the muscles in Nodoka's back go rigid. Nodoka took a deep breath and held it for several moments, then let it out in a long, sad sigh. "Well, I can hardly fault him for that, can I?" "Uncle Genma _is_ a great Artist, Auntie." "So my son wants to be greater than his father, does he?" "In more ways than one, Aunt Nodoka." "Then we will help him do exactly that," Nodoka said with a note of finality, "A little more to the right if you would please, dear." Kasumi smiled and the room brightened. Kasumi herself was not aware of this, but Nodoka was. "I am glad you agree, Auntie." ---------- - Onna-Ranma lay next to Akane in the softly lit room, moaning a little every once in a while as energy slowly returned to his limp, tingling body. Akane's soft, sweet breath against his neck made him tingle in all the right places. The girlish part of his mind noted that the light in the room was a lovely shade of burnt orange. He delighted in the feel of the fresh clean sheets beneath his girl-type body and the warm scent of Akane cuddled up to his side. He delighted in the warm feel of her body and the thumping of her heart against his ribs. (Yo, Saotome! You still with me, old buddy?) (BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (I cannot believe you, Saotome! Three little orgasms! That's all! Just three, and you turn into a blithering idiot.) (BLEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BLEEBEE- BOO...) (Yo, Saotome! Your turn at bat, you most manly man among men, you!) (BLEE-BOO-BOOB00-BOO, BLEEEE-BLEE-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (Come on, Saotome! Snap out of it! Time's a wastin'!) (BlurBurr-buh-buh-buh Blur-Burr-buh-buh-buh...) (If you don't snap out of this, I'm gonna hafta do your girlfriend without ya. You sure you wanna miss it?) (Blur-bur-bur-bur-bur...) (Well, let's see--A hot shower would probably snap him out of it.) (LOT'S OF SOAP! BahBlue-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (What? And ruin the ambiance we got goin' here? Are you nuts, Saotome?) (Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloobloo...Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (Yeah, okay. You ain't exactly hittin' on all eight cylinders at the moment.) (Gir-r-r-ls...geddit...habbit bedder...baburlbebur- bur-bur...) (Come again, Saotome? You almost made sense that time.) (Giruls plessur bedder...gurble blonga!) (Yeah, okay. I guess you're right about that, but we need to do something and do it fast! Akane's lying right here next to us with her motor running.) (GO WHOPPA WOONGA?) (Yeah, uh-huh! We haven't seen Maw Thumb and her four daughters for two weeks. If I get you into a hot shower now, we won't last thirty seconds.) (Getsu nippon gloria, na?) (Yeah, whatever. Be quiet and let me concentrate on this, okay? It's going be tricky and we need to get it right. Akane gambled really big on us tonight. If we don't back her play now, she'll never forgive us.) (...) (Good boy!) ---------- - "I don't know if this will actually work," Kasumi said, as she poured a cup of the special tea for Nodoka with exaggerated care, "but the book I borrowed from Doctor Tofu says a cup of this and two aspirin will all but prevent a hangover." Kasumi felt much better after the bath, but her head was still not as clear as she would have liked. "Really?" Nodoka said as she took a sip. It had an odd flavor to it, with more than a hint of sassafras and just a touch of salt. "Haven't you tried it before?" "Well, I've never needed it before tonight," Kasumi said with a rueful smile, "and I could never get Father and Uncle Saotome to try it." Nodoka smiled. "You know, it's very odd, but I think they actually enjoy having a hangover together." Nodoka laughed heartily. It was almost as frightening Ko Lon's cackle. Kasumi smiled into her cup. "I wonder what makes men like that?" "I think it is called, Male Bonding," Nodoka said, then laughed again. "For some reason, suffering together strengthens their friendships." "Aunt Nodoka?" "Yes, Kasumi-chan?" "Tell me about your katana." Nodoka's face sobered as she began to unwrap the old weapon. "Well, it was forged in 1351 by Saotome Nagateru, who was both a smith of the Bizen school and a samurai, being a retainer of the Ogasawa of Kyushu." "Weren't the swords of the Kamakura period normally much longer than this one?" "Yes, and so was this one. It was shortened and sharpened during the Edo Period for Saotome Hanimoto. It hasn't been touched with a stone since that time. I have always been
quite careful about cleaning it and powdering it. The last time it was ever used in anger, Saotome Nabuyuki used it to kill two bandits who tried to rob him in December of 1918." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, putting her hand to her mouth. Nodoka smiled at Kasumi's reaction. "Come now, Kasumi- chan. Surely you've helped your father clean and store the family weapons, ne?" "Yes, but I never..." "I assure you, this sword saw a great deal of use well prior to 1918, as I am sure many of your family's weapons did," Nodoka said as she unwrapped her ever-present katana. She removed the weapon from its scabbard and laid it upon the table. "It's so plain and--and deadly looking, isn't it?" Kasumi whispered. "Yes, it is. Saotome Nagateru made swords for lower ranking samurai like himself and was never particularly famous as a smith," Nodoka said with a chuckle, "Even so, many families around Nara and further south own blades very like this one, so they must have been quite popular as working blades." Nadoka pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve, the took the sword by its hilt and turned the cutting edge up. "Here, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said, "Drop this on the blade." Kasumi did so and the handkerchief cut itself in two with its own weight as it fell across the incredibly keen edge. Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise. She had seen this done with other swords, but they had been museum pieces and were much prettier than this one. "The sword belongs to you, right?" "Yes," Nodoka said with a nod of the head, "My father left it to me in his will." "Then Uncle Genma is..." "Muyokoshi, yes." "Your father adopted him?" "Yes, just before father died, Genma and I were married," Nodoka said with a sigh, "Life was so different back then. Genma and I were very different then." Nodoka looked down at the sword gleaming on the table with a sad face. "Now Ranma and I are the last of the Saotome line." "Aunt Nodoka, why are father and Uncle Saotome so eager to see our clans joined?" "That's a very long story, Kasumi-chan." "I'll make some more tea, then," Kasumi said with a smile, "We seem to have the time." "Why not, dear?" Nodoka asked as she sheathed the katana. "I haven't had a white night in years." ---------- - Onna-Ranma turned his head to his right and gave Akane a peck on the forehead. "Yo, Tomboy!" "Who are you calling a tomboy, pervert?" "Roll over onto your other side, Akane." "Hmm, why?" "Just roll over, silly." "Oh, all right," Akane said, feigning irritation. Onna-Ranma cuddled up to Akane's back and purred. Not the fake sort of purr humans ordinarily make as a joke, he actually purred like a cat. Akane smiled at the feel of Onna- Ranma's plump breasts crushed against her back and the vibration of his purring. "How do you do that?" "I don't know," Onna-Ranma said, "It just happens sometimes." "It feels nice." "I'm glad you like it," Onna-Ranma said, just before kissing Akane's neck at the join of her shoulder. "Oh!" Onna-Ranma grinned, then kissed her neck in a sequence of places between Akane's left shoulder and ear. "Oh, Ranma!" "Did I get it right?" He asked as he reached across and cupped Akane's right breast with his left hand. "Mmm, hmm...oooh!" Onna-Ranma shifted his weight so that he could slip his arm beneath Akane's neck and reach up to her left breast, cupping it in his hand. Akane began to pant. Onna-Ranma began working his way down her neck with kisses. Akane treated him to a squirmy little wiggle, and rubbed her heart-shaped little behind against Onna-Ranma's thighs. Onna-Ranma shivered in response. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" Onna-Ranma noised between kisses. "I was really hoping you would go get some hot water." Onna-Ranma kissed Akane on the neck one more time, then extricated his arms so he could roll Akane onto her back. He sat up in the bed and looked down into her eyes, then placed the palm of his left hand on her tummy, just below her navel. For reasons Akane could not understand, this excited her more than anything else they had done that evening. She could feel a warm flow of energy passing from his hand into her body. "He loves you very much," Onna-Ranma said, "but I want us to save that for our wedding night. Our wedding night has to be special." Akane froze, as the cold claws of genuine terror gripped her heart. "What do you mean HE wants?" Akane asked, "Who are you? The girl that drowned in the spring?" Akane's experience told her that she had good reason for alarm. Her own soul had been transferred into a doll while an ancient spirit sought vengeance against Ranma in her body. For all she knew right now, some supernatural power could be in command of Onna- Ranma's body. "No,
it's not like that!" Onna-Ranma paused, groping for words. "I'm sorry, Akane! This is me, Ranma--or part of him at least." "Are you his female self?" Akane asked softly. "Sort of," Onna-Ranma said. "We're more like opposite sides of the same coin. We are both the same person, but slightly different." "I think I understand," Akane said with smile as the fear in heart melted away, "So where's your male side right now?" "Oh, he sort of a...well...he...uh..." "Lost it?" "Yeah." Onna-Ranma gave Akane a naughty grin, then whispered conspiratorially, "That third one was too much for him to handle." Akane giggled. Onna-Ranma bent down and kissed her. Akane hungrily returned it. "Do you love me, Osage no Onna?" "More than I can say, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a deep sigh, "I really am Ranma at heart, you know. Whoever owns his heart, owns mine. I think Ranma kind of conjured me up to help him handle some of the stuff that's been going on lately." "That is so strange," Akane said with genuine wonder in her voice, "and so beautiful, and so very like Ranma." "Just be sure you understand one thing, Akane," Onna- Ranma said as he began tracing circles on Akane's tummy with the fingers of his left hand, "Ranma _is_ going to crawl into your bed one night, and put his heir into this cute little tummy of yours." Akane shivered from head to foot as a tingling sensation deep inside her body began to grow. Onna-Ranma helped it along by caressing her now quivering stomach with the palm of his hand. "On our wedding night, maybe?" Akane asked, then gasped for air. She knew she must be blushing bright red by now, but was beyond all caring. "If you want it that soon, sure." "He--I mean you, really want to marry?" Akane asked, her eyes shining. "Oh, yes!" Onna-Ranma said firmly, "We want to marry you. We want to have children with you, and we want to live out the rest of our life with you, but we and you...the three of us, have some things to work out first." "We'll talk about it later," Akane said as she seized Onna-Ranma's left hand in both of her own. "But..." "Shh!" Akane kissed Onna-Ranma's fingers, the placed them right where she wanted them the most, "I've got something else I need to you take care of-- Right now!" Akane gave Onna-Ranma a smoking stare that made him shiver, then turn pink from head to toe. Akane reached up and pulled his head down until his lips met the aureole of her left breast. Suddenly, she was enraptured by the sweetest agony she had ever known as Onna-Ranma's slender fingers touched the right spot. Their entwined aura leapt out into the room like the fires of a newly opened a blast furnace, filling it with a golden glare and ruby red sparks of ethereal light. ---------- - Kasumi sat down and poured tea for Nodoka. The older woman filled Kasumi's cup before beginning her story. "According to family history and legend, the Saotome Clan, the Tendo Clan and the Kobayashi Clan were all part of the Ogasawa Clan on Kyushu, during the time before the first Emperor. Presumably, we were among the first settlers of Japan, other than the Ainu. Legend has it that we fled from a great civilization living in an island chain far away from Japan and visited many places, including China before making landfall in Kyushu." "Does the legend say why we left our original homeland?" "Well, you know how those old stories go, there's more than one version and there doesn't appear to be a great deal of truth to any of them, but they say that we either fled to escape the great evil our most ancient of ancestors wrought, or we fled because of a great, natural disaster. Some of the stories hold that the natural disasters were the result of the great evils committed in those ancient times. I'm not sure how much of it can be believed." "Oh, they sound wonderfully romantic. Are any of them written down?" "Yes, but all the scrolls are locked away in storage. Once my house has been restored, I'll let you borrow them." "I'd love to read them." "The curious thing is, that the Ogasawa did not originally consider themselves to be great warriors. They were primarily traders and explorers. Many of them, mostly of the Saotome line, took up farming and artisanship after they settled in Kyushu. The Kobayashi line stuck to fishing and ship building while the Tendo branch became the traders and warriors." "Oh, my." "But you know how turbulent our history is. Warfare became the rule rather than the exception. Every branch of the Ogasawa line eventually became a warrior clan. We were no exception to the rule. Oh, some of the Saotome remained farmers and a few never aspired to anything
beyond being much-needed craftsman, but on the whole, we became a very warlike people." "Sekigahara changed everything, didn't it?" Kasumi asked, "Was Nerima really a Tendo fief?" Nodoka laughed. "It was _the_ Tendo fief, Kasumi-chan. The Kuno Clan were merchants. They bought their swords during the latter part of the Edo Period. They were never actually warriors. Nerima remained in Tendo hands until the Meiji Restoration." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "That explains a lot." "I'm surprised you didn't know some of these things, dear." "Oh, I had been told some of the story, but it was a long time ago and I never really believed it. We once held _all_ of Nerima? I always thought we were a minor family." "Oh, you were. Just as we and the Kobayashi were minor players, but that only goes to show how truly powerful the important families were. The Tendo were given Nerima after Sekigahara. The Kobayashi were given most of the islands in the Inland Sea. The Saotome became retainers of the Yagyu and settled in the high country above Nara, even though we still owned some small parcels of land in Kyushu." "The Yagyu?" Kasumi asked, her eyes widening with surprise, "the family of Yagyu Jubei?" "The same," Nodoka said with a nod of her head. She seldom told anyone this much about Saotome history, too few ever believed it. Yagyu Jubei had, in his day, been Japan's most formidable swordsman. Only the reputation of Musashi Miyamoto rivaled that of Yagyu Jubei. "What became of the Saotome holdings in Kyushu?" "Oh, they were sold, or given away. Some were taken by the government and sold to pay off inheritance taxes, but we still own one small piece." "Oh, really?" "Eh, hontoza!" Nodoka said, "it's now in my name." "Does Uncle Saotome know?" "Yes, but he cannot touch it, and would not if he could," Nodoka said in a steely voice, "for you see, that brings us to the rest of the story about the Tendo and Saotome clans." Kasumi refilled Nodoka's cup and Nodoka paused in her story to refill Kasumi's. "When the Ogasawa first settled in Kyushu, the Saotome were entrusted with the duty of storing and safeguarding the Ogasawa treasure." "Treasure?" Kasumi asked, "Why were the Saotome given charge of it?" "Because we were the farmers and artisans, Kasumi- chan. Everything we did was based on land, so it just made sense that the Saotome line of Ogasawa become the protectors of the treasure." "What sort of treasure was it?" "I am not sure," Nodoka said with a sigh, "my grandfather told me that it was not really a treasure at all, but an archive of ancient knowledge. Some of it supposedly tells about the terrible powers that destroyed our original homeland. He said those secrets were too dangerous to ever be made general knowledge again until the right man came along to wield the power they could unlock." Kasumi gasped, thinking of the Umisen-ken and the Yamasen-ken. Techniques so dangerous that her father had insisted that Genma Saotome seal them up and promise to never reveal them to anyone other than Ranma and Ryuu Kumon. The only reason the Kumon boy had been included was because he had already come into possession of the Yamasen-ken. The boy's father had died trying to master the technique. "Is Ranma the..." "I don't know, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said, pausing to take a sip of tea. "It might be Ranma, or it could just as easily be Ranma's child to be." "I think I am beginning to understand some of the things I found puzzling before now, Aunt Nodoka." "Genma does not know the whole secret, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said grimly, "It is you that I have chosen to share this knowledge with. Genma thinks it is just a treasure that only Ranma or his child will be able to find. He does not know the true nature of what is stored on the Saotome lands." Kasumi blinked, feeling more than a little alarmed at this revelation. "Why me, Aunt Nodoka?" "Because, dear," Nodoka said with a genuine smile, "I can trust you to guide Ranma and Akane if I am not here to help them when the time comes. Genma's advice--well I don't think we need to discuss that." "More tea?" Kasumi asked with a smile, not knowing what else to do. "Thank you, dear. The day Saotome Hanimoto retrieved this sword from the man who made the new scabbard for it, he ran across an old soothsayer. She asked to see the sword's naked blade, then told him that the Saotome line would one day come close to utter extinction, but that it would rejoin with the Tendo and Kobayashi. She said that once the Ogasawa were again joined into a single tribe, that they would then conquer the very heavens." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "Is Uncle Genma a ..."
"Kobayashi? Yes," Nodoka said with a nod, "and now Ranma will most likely marry a Tendo." Nodoka stared Kasumi in the eye for a moment before she spoke again. "I am sorry to burden you with this dear, but there are several more things you need to know in case the time comes and I am not present. Will you agree to tell no one, until and unless that time comes?" "Yes, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said, wishing her heart would slow down, "I will." ---------- - Akane lay on her back pleasantly exhausted, enjoying the feel of Onna-Ranma snuggled up to her side, but just as she began sliding into that dreamy stage of semi-sleep, Onna- Ranma sat up. Akane opened her eyes. Her fiance was sitting seiza (with his legs folded beneath him), fiddling with his pigtail and not quite looking in the direction of Akane's face. Akane felt her vague annoyance evaporate at the sight of this. Ranma only fiddled with is pigtail when he was truly embarrassed about something, or was placing himself at grave, emotional risk, as when apologizing or making a confession. Such a thing did not happen often. Akane keenly felt a sense of foreboding. "What's the matter, Ranma?" She asked. "I...you promise...First you have to promise you won't laugh at me." Akane felt herself smiling her sunniest smile. "It's times like that I wish I could paint, Ranma," Akane said, "A camera could never do you justice when you are like this." "What's that supposed to mean?" Onna-Ranma asked as a scowl marred his lovely face. "It means I love you and I promise not to laugh at you--if I can help it." Onna-Ranma breathed a deep sigh and looked disgusted. "It's the best I can do, Ranma," Akane said, quickly. "I won't make a promises to you when I don't know if I can keep it." "Well," Onna-Ranma hesitated, his face reflecting his internal struggle and indecision. "I guess that's fair enough. I've never let you see..." His voice trailed off and Akane could not hear the last of Onna-Ranma's speech. "Never let me see what, Ranma?" "Akane we need to talk," Onna-Ranma said hurriedly, suddenly much louder than before and sounding determined. "Okay, so?" Akane said. She was truly puzzled now. "Uh, girl to girl I mean," Onna-Ranma said. Akane's heart froze as she stifled a giggle. It would have been a very typical, girlish, one girl to another type of giggle, but she was afraid he might misunderstand. Akane rolled out of the bed to her feet and put her hands on her hips. "Okay, Ranma, but first let's put some clothes on," Akane said with a happy smile. "Huh?" "Girls don't usually talk "girl to girl" while they're naked, Ranma," Akane could not keep herself from giggling this time, "It just isn't done." "Oh," Onna-Ranma said, then reach towards his shirt and boxers on the floor. "No, silly!" Akane said, throwing him a pair of her pajamas. They draped across his head and left shoulder. "Put these on." Onna-Ranma pulled the pajamas from his shoulder and stared at them for a moment, then he stared at Akane for a few seconds, then he shrugged. "Well I guess it makes sense in a way," he said as he began to dress, "The top's gonna be a little tight in the chest, though." Akane's ears burned at this. The kami must be crazy, or have a serious appetite for practical jokes. No natural girl in heaven or on earth could have the petite figure and musculature of an Onna-Ranma and still have enough fat left over to make half a boob. Yet here Onna-Ranma sat before her, Hollywood grade breasts threatening to burst the darts of Akane's pajama top. It wasn't fair, but Akane had to admit that it was funny--to a kami maybe. "That's okay, Ranma," Akane said with another giggle, "I'll do my best to remember we're talking girl to girl and not lover to lover." Akane felt an involuntary shiver run through her body as she said the words, "lover to lover." I never thought I'd be saying something like that, she thought. Onna-Ranma froze for second in the middle of pulling the pajama bottoms over the flair of his hips, then continued. I guess it got to him too, Akane thought, as she finished donning another pair of pajamas. She hopped back up onto the bed and sat seiza, facing her lover and fiance. "So what are we talking about here, Osage no Onna?" Akane asked with an impish gleam in her eye. OnnaRanma grimaced at Akane's epithet, then giggled. "HE just calls me, Red." "I think I like Ranko better," Akane said with a smile, knowing that the girl in front of her was talking about Ranma when she said the word he with emphasis, "Do you mind if I call you that?" "No," Onna-Ranma said, suddenly looking shy, "Not really, but
he isn't very fond of that name." "Oh, I'm sorry," Akane said, "I know you were unhappy about hiding things from your mother, but some of the best times we've had together were when you were pretending to be my country cousin, Ranko." "It's okay," Onna-Ranma said, "there's no reason for him to have his way all the time about everything. I mean, it's not like Kami-sama died and made him boss!" Ranko said, then giggled. Akane joined her. "Where is he right now?" "Well, he's asleep, kinda." "Is he going to remember this when he wakes up?" "Oh, yeah," Ranko said as her eyes widened, "and he'll try to give me grief about it, too. You might not get to see me for several days after this." Akane felt her heart go out to the girl now sitting in front of her. "Is he really that bad?" "No, Akane! It's...it's not like that at all," Ranko said, sounding frustrated, "Ranma and I are the same person, but we were born a guy and we can only stand being a girl for just so long or just so much, and then we have to be, well, extra-manly for a while." "Oh, great!" Akane said, trying to dampen her annoyance, "I guess tomorrow he'll be very much the macho, jerk again." She stared down at her hands. Her shoulders had slumped and she had begun to rub the forefinger of her left with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand without even thinking about it. "Maybe, maybe not, Akane." "Huh?" Akane perked up a little. "It's a lot easier for him to be his real self here." "Are you trying to tell me that Ranma Saotome is not a macho jerk?" "He is _always_ going to be macho, Akane," Ranko said with a giggle, "Would you love him if he weren't?" "Ah, well," Akane said, then paused to think. She's got a point. I wouldn't be the least bit interested in him if were anything less than thoroughly masculine. "No, I guess not." "He is trying to be less of a jerk, even though maybe you haven't noticed it yet." "Dammit!" Akane said as tears began to sting her eyes, "Why does it always have to be so hard for us!" "It's going to get harder Akane, but in a new way. Things are different now that we all know where we stand with one another," Ranko said as she patted Akane's hand. "By that, I gather you mean, me, you and Ranma, right?" "Oh, sure! I have to include this part of him," Ranko said, indicating herself with a shrug, "Even if Ranma got rid of his curse tonight, I'd still be around. We have memories now that run so deep that they've buried themselves into our bones, Akane." Akane felt relieved, "I'm glad." "Not that I think he'll be all that keen on getting rid of the curse after tonight," Ranko said with mischievous gleam in her eye. Akane looked at Ranko, then squealed as she realized what Ranko meant. "Oh! I didn't think about him remembering _that_ tomorrow!" Akane said as she put both palms to her cheeks. "I hope I haven't ruined him!" "Nah! No way!" Ranko said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "He wasn't planning on going after a cure until he was satisfied with your training anyway. Now I think maybe he might give up on the idea altogether." "That wasn't quite what I meant," Akane said in a low tone, "but I get your point." Ranko stared at Akane in confusion for a moment, then gave Akane an evil grin. Akane did what any girl would do under such circumstances, she giggled. This was followed by Ranko giggling. Then the two of them began laughing and squealing together. Call it, a fit of "female bonding" and as it goes with all such things, it did eventually end. "Ranko?" Akane asked, hating the timidity in her voice, "Is Ranma serious about my training?" "Sure!" Ranko said, sounding somewhat surprised, "He's been training you indirectly since we got here." "You mean he thinks all that dancing around he does the dojo while I try to hit him is training?" "It has been training, Akane!" Ranko said, sounding amused, "You have gotten a lot better because of it. You're faster. You're more precise and you don't telegraph your punches nearly as much as you did when we first met." Akane answered with an exasperated sigh. "Look me in the eye, Akane." Akane looked up at Ranko with an eye-piercing gaze. "Now take my hands," Ranko said as she held them out and wiggled her fingers. Akane took Ranko's hands in her own and gasped at the things she had never really paid any attention to in the past. Ranko's hands were not very feminine at all. Her palms were small, and almost square. Her fingers were nicely proportioned to her small palms, but shorter in relation to them than a woman's fingers usually were. There were other differences which made an even greater impression upon Akane. Ranko's hands felt like bundles of living, steel
cable wrapped in hard leather. The skin of the outer portions of her palms felt as tough as the sole of a leather shoe. So did the skin between Ranko's thumbs and forefingers. The back of Ranko's left hand had a hard, bony knot in the center. "You broke this left hand once, didn't you Ranko?" Ranko nodded her head. "Shattered it, actually. I stayed laid up in bed with it for a week." Ranko shuddered at the memory. "Look at the backs of 'em, Akane." Akane looked down at the backs of Ranko's hands. The knuckles of her forefingers and middle fingers where they joined her palm were huge and covered by heavy callous. She could tell that Ranko must sometimes have a difficult time moving those four joints. Thick calluses covered all the knuckles of both Ranko's hands, even her thumbs. There were also a great many scars. Too many scars. Some large, some small, most of them from cuts but more than a few of them were from burns--bad burns. The sight of them took Akane's breath away because she knew that Ranma's scars nearly always faded in a month or less. "Now you know why my handwriting is never going to win any prizes," Ranko said sadly, " I can do quite well with a brush. Large characters on a big piece of paper don't give me any trouble, but a ballpoint requires too many tiny movements. It has been part of the price, Akane." "For being as good as you are in The Art?" "No," Ranko said with a shake of her head, "for being impatient and trying to accomplish too much at one time," she said, then gave Akane's hands a hard squeeze. Akane looked up at Ranko in surprise, "That should have hurt!" "But it didn't, did it?" "You mean all this time he's been...he's been..." Akane paused to grit her teeth in anger, "He's been _encouraging_ me to use him for a punching bag so I could build up my hands!" "Yeah, and it worries him sick when you go outside and start breaking bricks. He thinks it's unladylike." "Unladylike?" Akane asked. She was suddenly angry. "What would he know about being ladylike?" "Hey!" Ranko said in haughty tones as she put her hands behind her head and struck a classic, pinup pose. The pajama top very nearly succumbed to the resulting pressure. "I sprang fully grown from the mind of Ranma Saotome. Ain't _I_ ladylike?" Akane's anger vanished as she was overcome by paroxysms of laughter. She looked at Ranko through the tears welling up in her eyes and shook her head. Ranko feigned a look of great hurt and wounded pride in answer. "You are _very_ sexy, Ranko, just not very...You aren't very..." "I ain't very ladylike, am I?" "No!" "Good," Ranko said, then began laughing along with Akane. "I could show you how to be much more sexy, Ranko- chan." "Ooh, that sounds like fun, Akane-chan," Ranko said with a grin, "but Ranma is getting nervous as it is." This of course constituted the need for a long, rather pregnant silence. "Next time then?" Akane asked hopefully. Ranko looked blank for a moment, as though some invisible person by her side was whispering in her ear. "I won't make any promises Akane, but maybe just for you-if you are a good little girl in the meantime." "Okay," Akane said, giving Ranko a little pout, knowing full well what it would do to Ranma, wherever he was, "be that way if you must." "Do you know when we fell in love with you?" "That day in the bath?" "Well no, not exactly. We did sort of fall in lust with you though." "Oh, well I did notice that!" Akane said, "It was a little too much to ignore." Ranko's face turned bright red. "Hey! Sometimes that happens to guy before he can stop it, you know!" Akane rolled her eyes. "So when did you fall in love with me?" "When you charged into the school yard and whipped all those guys that next morning." "What?" Ranko nodded her head and grinned, "Even Ranma would have had second thoughts about trying that until he saw you in action. We knew right then and there that we weren't being saddled with some cute little, know nothing, do nothing girl." I really should close my mouth, Akane thought. She's going to start laughing at me in a minute and I'll have it coming. Besides, it's not very ladylike. "You could be as good as I am, Akane," Ranko said, "but it won't be easy, even though you are already good. I just wanted you to know that there is a price to pay." "I'll pay it, Ranko." "You gotta learn to breathe right." "I already know how to breathe," Akane said sounding vaguely annoyed. "Not in the best way, you don't. You also hafta learn to swim," Ranko said with a wicked smile. Akane felt her face begin to redden. "I suppose I have to learn to cook and
be graceful too, huh?" Akane asked in angry tones, "Will bridal training count?" "You're gettin' it all wrong, Akane. You know that both the Tendo-ryuu and the Saotome-ryuu have techniques for fighting in the water. You can't get your second dan with out mastering them." Akane looked down at her hands again. Ranko was right. Those techniques were required and she had never learned them because she could never even manage to float on her back in the water. "The only time you have a problem with being graceful is when you start worrying about being clumsy. You'll train yourself out of that, and we could care less if you never learn to cook. Ranma already knows how to cook. That's one of the things that ten years of living on the road will do for you." Akane looked up at Ranko her eyes shining with tears of frustration. "But I want to cook for him, Ranko!" "Believe me, Akane. He would be a lot happier if you concentrated on mastering The Art first. The cooking can wait until this challenge is met. It is the more important of the two." "What will Aunt Nodoka think?" "You let me and Ranma worry about Mom, okay? You just concentrate on what we tell you. Everything else will work out." "How can you be so sure?" Akane asked. "That is one of the first things you must learn, Akane." "What's that?" "You must learn to be sure, even when there's no reason to be. Just like the way you reminded Ranma tonight." "How can you be sure of something when there is no reason for it, Ranko?" "Simple," Ranko answered with a smile, "You just make sure you become the reason." "I don't know if I can do that, Ranko." "You can and you will, Akane," Ranko said in a gentle voice, "Ranma and I are going to help you with that." Akane turned inwards to her own thoughts for a moment. She could see that Ranko was at least partly correct. Most of her really bad failures had happened when she started something and then suffered a lack of confidence in her own abilities. Nearly all of her best successes had come when she had simply thrown caution to the wind and worked at something until she succeeded. "You and Ranma could stand to learn a thing or two as well," Akane said. "Tell me!" Ranko said, "HE doesn't find school work interesting or challenging. It makes it hard for me to concentrate on the stuff." "So you're the reason he's been catching up on his schoolwork without me nagging him." "Ah, yeah. You could say that." So he doesn't find his school work challenging, huh? Akane thought to herself. I'll just have to find a way to fix that. "What are you thinking, Akane?" Ranko asked with a note of concern in her voice. "I'm not going to tell you," Akane said with a sly grin. "Why not?" "Because you don't need to know, Ranko-chan." Akane's smile grew larger. Ranko stared hard into Akane's eyes, for a moment, then relaxed. "Okay, whatever you think best. Just be careful, okay?" "Don't worry," Akane said with a gentle smile, "I won't do anything too drastic." "Look, I'd like to visit some more, but I've got to go let Ranma out of this body." Akane seized Ranko by the hand as she got down from the bed. "Ranko?" "Yes, Akane?" "Make Ranma come say good night to me before he goes off to study, pretty please?" Ranko gave Akane a huge smile and a peck on the cheek. "You bet, tomboy." "Good night, pervert." "Ha! Look who's talkin'!" Akane smiled at Ranko's departing back. After a few moments she fluffed the pillows and laid down on Ranma's bed. She pulled the sheet up over herself and closed her eyes. A kind of warm glow that she had not felt since before her mother died coursed through her body. She stretched and opened her eyes, only to find Otoko-Ranma looking down at her. He had that look in his eyes again. The look that said, "Mine!" Akane smiled and held her arms out to him. He bent over and gave her a passionate kiss while she pressed his hard, flat chest to her body. Just the feel of his weight made her tingle in all the right places. After a long moment, Ranma stood up and looked down at her again. She took his left hand and placed it upon her tummy where OnnaRanma had placed that same hand earlier in the evening. Akane stared Ranma in the eye and knew that her own face was growing hard as she spoke. "You have to train me first," Akane said as coldly as she could. Ranma grinned. It was that ferocious, cocky, self- assured, macho-jerk grin he always got when accepting a challenge. His blue-eyes glittered, making Akane think of a line from the Odyssey, "the storm-grey sea." "I know, Akane," Ranma said, sounding faintly amused, "I know." Then he bent down and kissed her again. After their lips parted he said,
"And you will have to learn, my love. You are _gonna_ learn."
E-Mail Me
Comes The Cold Dragon The dawn of Thursday morning found Prince Haabu sailing through a large grove of trees belonging to the Joketsuzoku. This was no ordinary grove of trees. It was a "Grove of Chi." Every substance on earth reacted in its own, unique way to chi. Of them all, wood had the most useful interactions. It could focus chi. Wood could actually conduct chi and could even be made to absorb and store chi, much in the same way a capacitor could store electricity. So intimate was the reaction of wood with chi that the Japanese word "ki" meant both "chi" and "wood." Prince Haabu smiled to himself at the thought of these things as he glided over to an ancient cedar and touched its massive trunk with the palm of his hand. "One man's magic is another man's technology," some wise westerner had once said. Was it the same man that said, "A technology sufficiently in advance of our own will be indistinguishable from magic?" Prince Haabu laughed as he felt the response of the living wood beneath his hand. What would that westerner have thought had he seen me in this grove today? Haabu had not touched the ground a single time during his hour long visit to the grove this morning. Had he witnessed my flight, would he have considered me a great technologist or a magician? What do I consider myself? Am I some sort of technologist or a magician? Haabu relaxed his ki and gently settled to the ground at the base of the great cedar. He sat down upon the soft bed of reddish brown needles, then leaned back against the mighty tree, lost in thought. "Is what we do magic?" He asked aloud to himself. No, he thought, we deal with natural forces, just as the technologists do. Magic is irrational and calls upon the supernatural. The forces we call upon and use are as real the earth from which this tree draws sustenance. What we do can be measured. We have no freedom from logic. We cannot...Haabu's revery was broken by the beat of powerful wings. He looked up. The grove was too dense here for an attack from the air to launched at him successfully. These cedars had been planted by the Joketsu shortly after they had settled in Qing Hai. They stood close together and their tops soared a good seventy-meters into the sky. If the Houzanjin wanted to approach him, they would have to land somewere and approach him on the ground. He doubted they wanted to attack him anyway. He wondered who among their number wanted to speak to him and what they would want to know. He did not have to wait long. He could hear the approach of a single, Houzanjin. Their gait was inmistakable for anything else. Rather like that of a large crane, but with much longer steps. Much to his shock, the Houzanjin proved to be a woman, and a beautiful one at that. "I apologize for disturbing you, Lord Haabu!" The woman said as she knelt, then bowed towards Haabu. "Stop that!" Haabu said, trying and failing to keep the vehemence out of his voice. "The time for this sort of nonsense passed long ago." The woman looked up at Haabu, clearly startled by his response to her formalities. "What do you wish of me, Houzanjin?" Haabu asked. "I wish to speak with you, Lord Haabu," the woman answered and almost bowed again before catching herself. She rose to her feet, then obviously became uncomfortable because this made it necessary for her to look down at Haabu. Looking down upon a person of higher rank had long been a
great taboo in the Middle Kingdom. "So, you think I am so weak that I might be offended by your looking down at me?" Haabu asked with a smirk, "I fear nothing from you nor anyone, so why should I mind?" The woman's distress increased dramatically. Haabu waited wondering what she would do. The Houzanjin loathed sitting upon the ground. If forced them to hold their wings in an uncomforable position and caused them a great deal of physical stress. The woman took a canteen from her belt, then emptied its contents upon her own head. Haabu felt his jaw go slack with surprise as she changed into a wingless human. "This cannot be!" Haabu said, nearly shouting. "Surely you are not Saotome's woman." The transformed Houszanjin shook her head and smiled. It was a breathtaking smile. "No, Lord Haabu. I am not Saotome's woman. This body is the product of a Jusenkyo curse." "Then she is dead?" Haabu asked, "Drowned at Jusenkyo? "No, my Lord Haabu. We retrieved her from the pool just before she died." "I had no idea Safuron was so kind," Haabu said, his voice dripping vitriol. "He isn't, but he thought he might have further use for the girl," the woman said, "I cannot help but think that he made a fortunate decision." "So this happened before the battle of Jusendo, heh?" "Yes, Lord Haabu." "It's a good thing for the Houzanjin that the girl did not die," Haabu said with a cold edge to his voice, "Saotome would have killed you all." "He is not that kind of man, Lord Haabu," the woman said, "but he might have kept killing Lord Safuron until he could no longer regenerate and become mortal again." "Hah! Little enough do you know about dragons, Houzanjin!" Haabu snorted, "What is your name?" "I am called Kiima, Lord Haabu." "Well, Kiima," Haabu said, gesturing towards the base of a nearby tree, "You have come a ways to speak with me, so have a seat." Kiima paused to adjust her clothing, then sat down as Haabu had suggested. "So tell me, Kiima," Haabu said in a commanding tone, "Who sent you to me?" "Count Chervil did, Lord Haabu," Kiima said, then added quickly, "I tried your quarters first, but they told me you were here in the grove, charging the trees." "Hmmph! The old bird isn't one for wasting time, is he?" "No, Lord Haabu. He is not. There are many matters of pressing concern with which he must contend at the moment. He has little time to waste." "Mmm, I can see where things may well be difficult for him at the moment. They are difficult for all three of the great tribes. So why does he send you to me?" "You will soon travel to the Land of Wa, will you not?" "It is very likely." "Count Chervil ordered me to present myself to you and request the privilige of joining your party." Haabu was not surprised at this. It was only reasonable that the Houzanjin would want one of their own to see Saotome and report back. There was also of course, the other things he planned on accomplishing while visiting among the Wa. "I have but one possible objection, Kiima." "What might that be, Lord Haabu?" The woman asked, her voice revealing her concern. "If you plot revenge against Saotome, you need to know that I will side with him. He has become my kinsman." Kiima looked shocked. "He is of the Musk?" "No!" Haabu said with a chuckle as he shook his head, "He is becoming a dragon, as am I. As did my mother, before me. This makes him more of a kinsman to me than if he were a Musk. You must understand this." Kiima's reaction was something of a shock. Her shoulders slumped as she began to rub the index finger of her left hand with the thumb and forefinger of her right. Tears came into her eyes. "I...I could never hurt him," Kiima said, "Not now. Not ever. I will always regret the times that I did try to hurt him." Haabu scratched his head. What is with Saotome and women? Haabu siliently asked himself. I really must learn his technique for dealing with them. It will come in handy one of these days. "Tell me, Kiima. Do the Houzanjin plan to leave their mountain?" Kiima took a deep breath to regain her composure before answering. "We are not all of the same mind on that issue, Lord Haabu." "Where do _you_stand, Kiima?" "We _must_ leave, Lord Haabu," Kiima said with iron in her voice, "We have no other choice." "But Safuron will not willingly give up Jusenkyo, Kiima." "We will not need him if we choose the right sort of place, Lord Haabu." Kiima seemed to take a keen interest in the mat of needles upon which they sat. Haabu was little surprised. She had just spoken out against her liege lord. Such an act was punishable by death. "Hmm, you demonstrate both wisdom and courage in a single sentence, Kiima," Haabu said gently, "I am
impressed." Kiima took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Would you think of me that way had I spoken out against you?" "No," Haabu said in emphatic tones, "Not hardly. The day of unlimited rule by a single person is long gone, and I wonder now if such ever made good sense." Kiima stared at Haabu in open mouthed shock. "You have heard of my two remaining subjects, have you not?" "Yes, Lord Haabu," Kiima said in a tiny voice, "They are famed warriors." "But they are not so famous for their ability to think, are they?" "No," Kiima said with a giggle, "They are not." "Perhaps you do not realize that they are not that way for a lack of brains," Haabu said, unaware that his voice was growing a bit loud, "but that their chief trouble is that they have been taught and trained from an early age to rely upon me to do all the thinking. They never do anything unless ordered to. They never think of anything on their own. Now I ask you, what ever gave anyone the notion that a single man could do all the thinking for thousands?" Kiima bit at her upper lip as she looked at Haabu. He knew this to be a sign that she wanted to speak, but would not. "I will be in command of the expedition to the Land of Wa," Haabu said in firm tones, "Make no mistake about that, but if you travel with us, I will expect you to say what is on your mind. I will expect you to think for yourself. I will expect you to make recommendations whenever you think they are needed and above all, I will expect you to speak up whenever you think something can, or should be done a different way. Do I make myself clear?" Kiima smiled and it took Haabu's breath. No wonder Saotome was offended that day, he thought. I will be certain to apologize to her in his presence. What was her name? He could not now remember. "What was the name of the girl you cast into the pool, Kiima?" "Her name is Akane, Lord Haabu, Akane Tendo." "Will you do me a service, Kiima?" "Only if it is honorable, Lord Haabu," Kiima said with a smile. Haabu chuckled in spite of himself. "Help me choose a gift for Akane Tendo," Haabu said, "I owe her an apology." "I would be pleased to help with such a task, Lord Haabu," Kiima said, "May I ask you a question?" "Certainly." "When will we be leaving?" "Before the next week is out, I should think. Paama is as little inclined to waste time as Count Chervil." "Then perhaps we should begin looking for gifts today." "I think that is an excellent idea, Kiima," Haabu said as he rose, then offered her his hand. Much to his surprise, she took it and rose to her feet. Haabu struggled to keep his gaze from going below her chin. It wouldn't do to become mesmerized at the moment. He liked this woman for more than her looks. He looked forward to finding out more about her, even if she was little older than himself. "Walk with me in the grove for a while first, Kiima," Habuu said, "There are a number of trees I have yet to visit and I do not get to come here often." "I would be both honored and pleased to accompany you, my Prince," Kiima said as she took Haabu's arm. Haabu found that he liked the feel of her by his side. He liked it very much. Perhaps he liked it too much. Ah, well! Another day, another test, he thought. Life is like that. "You came here just to visit with the trees?" "After a fashion, yes," Haabu said in sterner tones than he intended to use. Kiima's question had put him on the defensive. "What do you know of chi, and the way it interacts with wood?" "Not that much really," Kiima answered, "I know that some pieces of wood are a great deal more useful than others. Most of them come from trees that grew on Temple grounds. Why?" "Have you ever wondered why the wood made of trees grown on sacred ground behaves in such a way?" "No, not really," Kiima said, "I assumed it was because the gods visit such places." Haabu gave Kiima a wry smile. "Not really. The real reason is that the monks that tend such grounds are very often have a powerful chi, and know how to use it." "Oh, really?" Kiima asked sounding somewhat surprised, "What happens? Do they use their chi to help the trees grow?" "Very often they do, yes," Haabu said, "but more importantly, the trees are exposed to human chi on a daily basis as it grows up." "So the ability to interact with chi is grown into the wood while it is a living tree!" Kiima exclaimed. "Quite so," Haabu said with a nod of his head, "The more often the living tree is exposed in such a fashion, and the greater the variety it is believed, the more useful the wood made from that tree will be." "This is a very old grove," Kiima said. Her tone suggested that she had just inferred an awe
inspiring fact. "Was it planted for the sole purpose of producing such lumber?" Haabu nodded his head. "This grove was planted during the first year that the Three Great Tribes settled in this land." "Then there must be enormous power in these giants," Kiima said sounding overawed. She looked up into the dense canopy overhead and Haabu, quite contrary to his usual habits, stopped for her. "You might be surprised, about that," Haabu said with a smile, "Cedars like this do not make good reservoirs of chi." "Then why plant them?" Kiima asked, looking up at Haabu in surprise. "Because their wood makes an excellent conductor of chi, and can be made into a kind of lense for it," Haabu said as he began fiddling with one of his arm guards. "See the inside of this? It is lined with cedar." "This helps you use your chi?" "Yes," Haabu said with a smile, "The cedar allows me far better control that I would otherwise have." "I see," Kiima said, sounding vaguely annoyed, "Not many people know of this, do they?" "It is considered priviliged information, Kiima." "So why are you telling me these things?" Kiima asked, sounding worried. "Because you and I will need to work together," Haabu said, then hesitated as Kiima's eyes locked onto his own, "And there must be trust between us." Kiima's eyes narrowed slightly. "I am the greatest warrior of the Houzanjin, second only to Lord Safuron himself and am Captain of his Guard, yet none of my instructors ever told me these things, Prince Haabu." "I am not surprised by that, Kiima," Haabu said with a frown he intended for himself, "Those that hold power live with the constant fear that others may become just as powerful as themselves, so they keep a great many secrets." "Then you have many secrets of your own, do you not?" "Yes," Haabu said, giving Kiima a wry grin, "I do. Yet I intend to reveal many of them when the time is right. Secrecy has drawbacks that only disclosure can cure." They walked on in silence for a few meters. Haabu could tell that Kiima that Kiima was lot in thought. She is a habitual thinker, this one. Haabu thought to himself, that could good and bad all at one and the same time. Still, I will be glad to have her on this trip. It is difficult to think of everything by oneself. The gloom disappeared suddenly as they walked out from beneath the mighty cedars and found themselves passing through a grove of much smaller trees. These were only a third of a meter thick for the most part, and only eight to ten meters in height. There was more light, but it was filtered into a eerie kind of greenish-gold glow. "These are the truly powerful trees," Haabu said. "But they are so much smaller!" "Yes, but they were planted at about the same time as the cedars. These are boxwoods. The timber from these trees absorbs and retains chi." "Can it be recovered?" Kiima asked, her eyes growing wide with surprise. "If you know how," Haabu said, "Here, place your hand against the trunk of this one and tell me what you feel." "Ahh!" Kiima cried, "It drained me! I could feel it drawing chi out of me." "The old boxwoods grown in this way can be quite dangerous," Haabu said, "unless you have been trained in the proper techniques. The yew and the ironwood are much the same." "Ironwood?" "Yes, the tree is not native to the Middle Kingdom, and only grows here in this grove," Haabu said, "You have seen the gnarled staffs carried by some of the Joketsu Matriarchs, have you not?" "Yes, I have," Kiima answered. "Such staffs are made from ironwood?" "Yes. The ironwood is usually more comfortable for a woman to handle. Boxwood is most often used by men--and dragons." "Do you use a staff, Prince Haabu?" "No!' Haabu said a touch more quickly than he intended, "Not for a long time. I trained with one when I was younger, but encountered some trouble with it." Much to Haabu's annoyance, he found himself staring at the palms of his hands. "Were you injured?" "You might say that, yes." Kiima said nothing, waiting for him to tell his story or not as he saw fit. Haabu was not ready to tell that tale, not to this woman, not now. "Come, the seedlings are near here," Haabu said, further annoyed at finding that his mouth had become dry, "After I visit them, we are free to take a meal. Would you join me?" "Yes of course, my Prince," Kiima said as she again took Haabu's arm. "I'd be delighted." ----------- Ko Lon woke Xian Pu for breakfast before the sky turned gray. The girl needed time to stretch her sore muscles. Much to Ko Lon's surprise, she had risen without complaint and began working out the kinks. Muu Su served her breakfast when she came down the
stairs, and for once, Ko Lon was glad the boy was infatuated with Xian Pu. He'd make a fine, second husband for her, though it would probably be better if she made him third. He might become too much of a nuisance as second husband. It's a pity about the Saotome child, Ko Lon thought. Xian Pu truly had her heart set on winning him for the tribe, but now they would have to adopt other tactics. Times changed and you either changed with them or got into trouble. Xian Pu would learn a hard, but much needed lesson from all this. Muu Su helped her get the Forges Street deliveries out to the bicycle, then Xian Pu tore off into the pre-dawn grey without a look back. A real warrior, Ko Lon thought. A warrior through and through. "Muu Su!" "Yes, Honored Elder?" "Sit down here and eat!" Ko lon ordered, "The last thing I need today is you falling out on me when the real business starts." Muu Su surprised Ko Lon by giving her a fond look as he sat down to eat. "And none of your impertinance, boy!" Ko Lon said, making her voice as waspish as she could, "I'm not in the mood for it!" Muu Su tried to hide his smirk by looking down at his bowl, but it did not escape Ko Lon's notice. Dammit! He's starting to think he's family already. Well, that was her own fault. She would never admit it, but she was fond of the boy. He was inferior stock, but loyal and hard working and that counted for a lot in Ko Lon's book. No doubt her real feelings for him were showing through a bit too often. Maybe I should give him a good rap on the head to remind him of his place, she thought. No, he hasn't done anything to warrant it, yet. "What's that awful smell, Old Monkey?" Muu Su asked with a sniff, "You're still trying to suck up to that Frenchman, aren't you?" Thock! Ko Lon's staff rapped Muu Su's head. "Now who looks like a monkey?" Ko Lon asked, suddenly feeling much better about the world in general. "Ow!" Muu Su said, feigning a great injury, "That wasn't called for!" "I warned you, Muu Su!" Ko Lon said, brandishing her staff in Muu Su's direction. "So you did, Honored Elder," Muu Su said with a knowing grin, "Feel better now?" Ko Lon gritted her teeth in frustration. "As good as your cooking is, the Frenchman will probably sell us two bikes at a discount." "Was that a suggestion, Muu Su?" "Ah...well..." "Well it was a good one. Now go get the noodles laid out and ready," Ko Lon said, feigning her usual impatience with him, "We've got a lot of work to do." "Yes, Honored Elder!" Muu Su said with a greatly exaggerated bow and flourish, "At once, Honored Elder." "You are really pushing your luck today, boy!" Muu Su just gave her another grin and hurried off to work on the noodles. Ko Lon side and began re-filling her largest kettle with water. Noodles could be a real hold up if you didn't keep fresh, boiling water at the ready. Ko Lon sat down at her own, early morning meal. She was tired of her own cooking. This was good in a way. It kept the flavors from being too much of a distraction while she tried to think. ----------- Xian Pu made her Forges Street deliveries a little early, even though her legs felt like they were on fire in places. She delivered to the bicycle shop last, as Ko Lon suggested. The little Frenchman was waiting for her outside her shop. Xian Pu was pleased with this, so she rewarded him with a little wiggle as she walked towards him with his breakfast. Why did round-eyes like bread so much? She wondered. Were all of them so easily won over as this one? A couple of decent meals and a couple of judicious wiggles was all it had taken to win this one completely over to her side. Maybe I'll make him number four husband, she thought. He's bald and ugly, but very skilled. He could be a great asset to the tribe. Amazon blood would no doubt improve the looks of his offspring. She would discuss it with Great Grandmother. His skills might well be valuable enough to offset his weaknesses. "Ah, good morning, mon Cheri!" Thibbedeaux said, clearly delighted to see her, "You are most lovely today!" "Nihao!" Xian Pu said, using her number four smile and her number one wiggle on the hapless Jean-Luc. It was one of her favorite combinations that worked on all men but the dead ones and Ranma. Well, it even worked on Ranma, just not as much she would like. "Great Grandmother send you too, too delicious Fa-rin- cha Burayka-fah-tsu!" "Thank you, Mademoiselle!" Jean-Luc took a long breath through is wildly out of proportion nose. "It smells delicious!" Xian Pu moved a little closer to Jean-Luc, deciding that he would probably like the smell of her warm
perfume at least as much as he did the aroma of his meal. He did. He did not say so, of course, but he did not need to. Xian Pu could tell by the way he reacted. She suppressed a giggle. Like everything else in her arsenal, she only used her giggle on an as needed basis. Jean-Luc lead her into his shop, and put the takeout box down on his desk. "First, allow me to introduce you to your new machine," Jean-Luc said. With his enthusiasm plainly showing on his face, he gently lifted the tarp which had been covering some object in the middle of the shop floor. What lay beneath was a thing of beauty. Xian Pu could barely believe her eyes. It was at least ten centimeters longer than the mountain bike he had loaned her and a good fifteen centimeters longer. The seat was broad and heavily padded. Xian Pu especially liked that. The seat also had a set of cunningly arranged springs beneath it, which would also help take the edge off the long days she spent pedaling around town. The rack he had designed to hold the take-out boxes were also spring mounted and was equipped with thin, bungie cords. Xian Pu realized immediately that this machine was going to make her life much simpler. Even the paint was lovely. Jean-Luc had selected a color which came close to matching her hair. She found that she still had much to discover once she climbed aboard and felt the bicycle sink a little beneath her weight. "Aiyah!" "Do you like it, Mademoiselle?" "Is wonderful bicycle!" Xian Pu said with heartfelt enthusiasm. "Should ride very nice." Jean-Luc demonstrated how the racking work by loading the empty take-out boxes for her. "I can re-gear this machine for you, Mademoiselle," he said, "but I think you should try them as they are for a few days before deciding." "Okay, Xian Pu try first." "Now then, off you go my dear! I'm sure you have many deliveries to make. You're Grandmare's cooking must have an enormous audience." "Where bill?" "For you, my dear," Jean-Luc said, puffing out his chest, "There will be no charge. This is an experimental machine. Once the design is perfected, I'm sure I will sell thousands of them." Xian Pu could not quite see the sense in this. If he could sell thousands of them, so what? Why should he let her have this bicycle for free? It made her faintly suspicious. "Great-grandmother unhappy I no bring bill," she told the craftsman, "She not like charity." "I understand," Jean-Luc said with a huge smile, "Allow me to get some sleep, and I will visit with your grandmother this afternoon. I'm sure she will udnerstand." "You promise to go see her?" Jean-Luc answered with a nod of his head, "I promise." "Is okay then," Xian Pu said, then gave her sunny, happy-happy smile, "Xian Pu go now. Have many deliveries to make!" "Good bye, my dear!" Jean-Luc said with a cheerful bow and flourish of the hands, "Take care!" "Bai, bai!" Xian Pu called over her shoulder as she rocketed out onto Forges Street. Aiyah! She thought to herself as she sped around the corner onto Canal. This thing is fast! Xian Pu failed to notice the boy in a Furinkan uniform as she whizzed down Canal towards her next delivery, so she had no reason to wonder why he was out so early. Nor did she wonder why he fished a cellular telephone out of his pocket and hurridly dial a number. Nor had she noticed the boy across the street from Thibbedeaux's bicycle shop. ----------- The early light of Thursday's dawn found Tendo-ke in an abnormally quiet state. This was a welcome respite for Kasumi and Nodoka, especially given that the two of them had sat up and talked the entire night. Just as the first, rosy fingers of dawn poked up over the horizan, Kasumi began work on breakfast. Nodoka busied herself laying out bath things to get everyone off to a fresh start. The still very sore Tendo patriarch bestirred himself. Once he had gotten completely out of the bed, he realized that he would only cause a log jam in the bath and gratefully fell back across his bed. He would wait until Nabiki went off to school. By the time the sun revealed its first fiery edge of the morning, signaling the true beginning of yet another day, Kasumi had breakfest made and Nodoka had set the table, but Nabiki had not put in an appearance. "Kasumi?" "Yes, Aunt Nodoka?" "Nabiki doesn't usually sleep this late, does she?" "Oh, she's been so busy, I'll bet she fell asleep at her books last night," Kasumi said, "I'll fetch her down." "No, I'll do it dear," Nodoka said sweetly, "You save your energy. I just imagine your father will try to get up this morning and we'll have to take turns looking after him." Kasumi smiled. "I think I
did hear him stirring around earlier." Nodoka trooped up the stairs and knocked on Nabiki's door. "Nabiki-chan?" Nodoka listened intently, but heard no answer. She knocked again and called out a little louder, "Nabiki?" Again there was no answer. Nodoka opened the door a crack and peeked into Nabiki's room. The young woman was fast asleep at her desk, face down upon her homework. Nodoka entered the room and gave Nabiki a gentle hug. "Nabiki?" "Huh? What, Kasumi?" Nabiki said, raising her head and gazing at Nodoka with bleary, sleep ridden eyes. Nodoka smiled. "Time to get up, dear." "Unh!" "Come, dear," Nodoka said in a gentle voice, "You have just enough time to get ready for school." Nabiki groaned again, then looked up at Nodoka again and blinked. "Oh! Good morning, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said as she rubbed her eyes, "What time is it?" "You have just enough time left to get ready for school, and the bath is waiting." "How come Ranma and the Panda-man didn't wake me up this morning?" "Neither one of them is here, Nabiki-chan," Nodoka said with smile, "Do you sleep like this very often?" "Oh, only two or three times a month," Nabiki said, then yawned, "That's about how often things get too hectic to handle on a normal schedule." "I see," Nodoka said, thinking grim thoughts to herself, "Are you awake enough to make it down to the bath?" Nabiki nodded. Nodoka gave her another quick hug and left the room. Nabiki was awake enough to begin functioning, but just barely. She got up, found her robe, then stumbled downstairs to the bath, hoping the furo would relieve the terrible crick in her neck. She completely forgot about the ledger lying open on her desk. Fortunately, it was not a particularly sensitive one. It was just the one she used to keep track of the family finances, and not one of the three ledgers she used to keep track of her various enterprises. Still, it would prove revealing enough. ----------- It was still dark when Ranma began doing his stretches. It felt good, even though he had to take nearly twice as long to stretch out. While he had not gotten flabby, he had gotten rather stiff. Maintaining his flexibility was the first thing Genma had taught him to do, and his stiffness this morning was a reminder that his father was capable of the occasional bout of widsom. The sky was bright grey by the time he stepped out the back door of the clinic, ready to do kata. The problem he faced was where to start? He launched himself into one of the softer forms, even though he was feeling the urge to indulge in one of the more fiercely energetic kata. This form was derived from one the simpler forms of Tai Chi, but had been heavily influenced by the Anything Goes Style. The moves it consisted of were designed to fend off an opponent rather than to incapacitate him. Pop's had cautioned him to study the form closely because the moves it taught were the preferred method of dealing with "overly zealous authorities." Ranma grinned to himself. Leave it to my old man to come up with a form just to deal with cops. The moves were also useful if one were wounded or found his mobility limited by circumstances. It was the logical choice for his first exercise in almost a week. Half way into the kata, Ranma realized that several of the moves could be very useful against Akane whenever she was on the warpath. Ranma grinned as he nearly lost his focus at the thought. "Wouldn't she be d?" Ranma whispered to the empty street, I could catch her arm this way, then change this move from this to this. Then I could step to the right, that would take her off balance because it would rock her back on her heels, then all I'd haft a do is scoop with my left arm and there she'd be, cradled in my arms!" (And beating your brains out with a mallet, Saotome.) (Red, do you always hafta be such a spoilsport?) (Nah! To tell you the truth Saotome, I like this idea.) (Yeah?) (Yeah! You ain't the most romantic sort of guy we know, but you do have your moments.) (Oh, well! Gee thanks, Red!) (Don't mention it, Saotome. Think you could pull off this stunt opposite hand?) (Sure! Uh, lemme think about it for a second...got it!) Ranma repeated his newly devised manuever, but moving in the opposite direction and seqencing his left first, rather than his right as he had done before. He had to practice it a few times before he got it down perfect. (Now kiss her quick, Saotome! Before she wonks us on the head with a blunt object!) (Like one them stone lanterns, ya mean?) (Or a chair!) ( Or a dining table!) (Hey, Saotome! I just thought of another move! She'd never expect it!) (Yeah?) (You know
how likes to elbow us in the ribs?) (Yeah?) (When she does it from our right side you take a diagonal step to the right with the right foot and reach across to the point of her right shouler with the left hand, and then we...) (Oh, I get it! She ends up in the same position in less than a second!) (Yeah! Only you gotta kiss her quick or she'll get really mad, Saotome.) (Okay, so we'll practice it until we can do it by reflex. It would be easy for us to hurt her if we get it wrong.) (Aa-a-h! Left side first, Saotome!) (All right already! Sheesh! You're as big a pain as the old man!) (Hey! Shit-daddy's got his points.) (Yeah! Too bad most of 'em are bad ones, huh?) (Are we gonna practice or what, Saotome?) (Let's practice. This is gonna be a hoot!) Ranma again performed his second, newly devised manuever of the morning. (That's great, Saotome--but you forgot the kiss!) (Okay! Like this?) (If you kissed that way, you'd be kissing air, stupid!) (Oh, yeah! How's this?) (There you go! That's a lot better. We have to practice the kiss or you might forget or kiss the air instead of Akane. That would make us look stupid and get us hurt.) (Yeah, okay! I'm with you. I'll practice the kiss.) ----------- Tofu Ono woke up much earlier than usual on this Thursday morning. It took him a minute or two to remember that he had actually set his alarm to wake him this early. He wanted to examine Ranma before the boy went to bed amd his other patients began arriving. Once his goal for the morning was recalled, he worked through his morning routine unhurridly, but efficiently with none of his usual dawdling. It was refreshing in a way. He had adopted a somewhat slower morning routine a year earlier after one of his colleagues had collapsed from over work. After some study, Tofu had concluded that a stressful morning made for a very stressful day and this was most likely the root cause of many, stress- related disorders. Taking the dictum that a physician should first heal himself seriously, he had made changes to his start up routine. It had helped a great deal, but this morning was proving to a pleasant break from the usual routine. Leaving the condominum, he walked towards his clinic at a brisk pace, delighting in the rain-washed cool of the early morning. He knew that it was going to be yet another wonderful day in the neighborhood when Xian Pu passed by on her new bicycle. "Nihao, Tofu-sensei!" The cheerful Amazon chirped as she went by. Tofu's sensitive ears detected a distinct rise and fall in the pitch of Xian Pu's voice as she passed him. "Nihao, Xian Pu!" Tofu replied, even though he doubted she chould hear him. The wind from her passing ruffled Tofu's hair and clothing. He was a little surprised by the strength of it, despite the doppler shift he had heard in Xian Pyu's voice. "Gee, she's shedding vortices like a panel truck!" Tofu said aloud to himself. "That new bicycle is something else!" He shrugged, then continued towards his clinic. He was not surprised to find Ranma outside running through a kata. He was surprised to see that Ranma seemed to be lost in the throes of creating a new, never before practiced kata. He paused fifty meters or so away and watched, Ranma closely trying to puzzle out the purpose of the very odd looking kata. He found himself enjoying both a masterful performance in The Art by a great prodigy, as well as working on an intriguing puzzle at one and the same time. After watching Ranma go through the new exercise three times, making changes as he went, Tofu understood the purpose of the form. He fell to the ground, choking back his laughter. After a few minutes of thrashing about on the damp pavement, Tofu finally regained some measure of self-control and began wondering what other sort of kata his singularly dynamic and rapidly maturing patient would come up with next. A few rather unusual images ran through Tofu's head. Then he did fall to the ground in yet another, barely containable fit of mostly stifled laughter. Using every mind control technique he had ever been taught, plus a few he had only read vague descriptions of, Tofu managed to recover most of his usual demeanor and approach his young patient. "Good morning, Ranma-kun," Tofu called out to Ranma as he approached, "Good to see you are feeling a bit better." The boy's color was indeed quite good and the healthy sheen of a light sweat testified to Ranma's improving condition. Tofu's nose suggested the boy would recover quickly and could tell by the sound of Ranma's breathing that the blast had done no permanent damage to his nervous system. "Mornin', Sensei." "How did your night go, Ranma?" "Aw, I studied until I
got the fidgets, then came out here to get in a little exercise before goin' to bed." "Well, having the fidgets is a pretty good sign of healing for someone like you, Ranma. Still, you'd better get a quick shower and meet me in room number three. I want to look you over one more time." "Do I hafta wear a gown?" "Come on, Ranma," Tofu said, chiding the boy gently, "You know the drill." "Yeah, I guess so," Ranma said, sounding disgusted, "You're gonna want to examine my girl half too, ain'tcha?" "'Fraid so, Ranma," Tofu said, putting on his best, soothing smile, "We must be thorough, you know." "Yeah, I know. I know," Ranma said as he opened the back door of the clinic, "but I don't hafta like it, do I?" "No one does, Ranma," Tofu said with a chuckle, "Where's Akane?" "Still asleep," Ranma said, "I figured she could use it. She stayed up pretty late studyin' last night." "Hmm, the construction crews will be here in a few minutes," Tofu said as he glanced at his watch, "Let's see if we can get our little chore done before all the noise starts, shall we?" "Be right with ya, Doc." Ranma took only a few minutes to shower. "Ready when you are, Sensei," Ranma said as he hopped up on the examination table. "A-a-a-ah!" Tofu said, brandishing an old fashioned, mercury thermometer. Ranma obediently opened his mouth and tucked the bulb under his tongue. Tofu examined Ranma's eyes very carefully. The dialated and contracted perfectly. There appeared to be no damage to either retina. Checks of Ranma's eardrums were another matter. His temperature was perfectly normal. "Ranma?" "Yeah, doc?" "Have you been listening to loud music lately?" "No, but...welll...I..." "What happened, Ranma?" "Last night after you left, I started feelin' really hot, so I hurried outside," Ranma said sheepishly, "I didn't wanna tear up your place again." "And?" "I started givin' off this really strange looking ki," Ranma said. "Strange looking?" "Well I never seen nothin' like it before," Ranma said, "It was mostly gold colored, but it had lots of other colors as well." "Tell me more about it." "Well, some of it snaked around, like the electrical arcs you see in the movies." "I see," Tofu said, "What else happened?" "Well, my ki was so hot, it turned the rain into hotwater and steam, then I gave off this really big charge." "What did you aim it at, Ranma?" "At the sky. I was afraid I might hurt somebody if...if..." Ranma's distresss became obvious. Tofu placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Easy, Ranma. No one's going to be mad at you over this. What happened next?" "Well, right after I gave off this big charge, lightning struck the street right in front of me." "Lightning?" "I know it's hard to believe, Doc," Ranma said as he began to fiddle with his pigtail, "but it really did happen." "Did it shock you?" "No. I guess because I was wearin' a pair of your geta at the time." "Did the lightning strike while you were discharging ki, or right after?" "After. The lightning didn't show up until after the ki touched the clouds." "Hmm, that is interesting," Tofu said, "Was there anything else?" "Well this is the wierdest part," Ranma said, clearly encouraged by Tofu's lack of skepticism, "I coulda swore I heard Ko Lon speak to me just as all this stuff started happenin'." "What did she say?" "She told me to be careful because what I was doing could be dangerous." Tofu shook his head and laughed. "What did she say after the lightning struck?" "She didn't say nuthin'! She wasn't anywhere around." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure. Akane was there and she didn't hear Ko Lon and neither of us ever saw her." This brought Tofu up short. Either Ranma's mental condition was worse than he had feared, or Ko Lon was capable of something he had only read about in ancient legends. "What's happening to me, Doc?" "Well, it's hard for me to say for sure about last night, but I suspect you needed to release all that energy you soaked up the night you froze the clinic." "Oh." "And I think your control will improve rapidly now that you are healing up physically." "Are you sure that's all, Doc?" "Well there are some things you and I need to talk about, but I'd like to finish your examination first, if that's all right." "Sure, Doc," Ranma said, "You're the only doctor I know that would believe any of this, much less have a chance of treating it." "Lie on your stomach please, Ranma." Tofu found nothing exceptionally wrong with his patient physically, other than the young man's ki seemed to be exceptionally strong. It's balance was off in a few minor ways, but Tofu corrected
that wih shiatsu. His examination of Ranma in his female form was much the same. Physically, Ranma Saotome was one of the best specimens of humanity Tofu Ono had ever laid eyes on. If anything, the boy was too healthy. He should not have been able to recover from his injuries in a mere four days. Ranma's recovery had to be one for the record books--not that Tofu Ono would ever try to publish the story. His well meaning colleagues , being the benevolent idiiots that they were, would turn the boy into a guinea pig. "Well Ranma," Tofu said with a smile, "The good news is that your body is as fit as any I have ever seen, better than most actually." Ranma cocked an eyebrow at Tofu. "So what's the bad news?" "I don't know that there really is any Ranma, but you and I need to talk," Tofu said, stroking his chin, "Why don't you go change and we can go upstairs where it's a little more private..." The ear splitting sound of a chipping gun working on the front facade filled the room. "...And perhaps a little more quiet." "Okay, Doc." The noise proved to be far less bothersome on the second floor of the clinic building. "Why did you move out of this place, Sensei?" "Well, I needed room for my plants and the roof of this building wasn't strong enough to hold everything, so I bought a condominium. They let me install my greenhouses on the roof." "Oh." "Tell me how you've been feeling the last couple of days, Ranma." "Terrible," Ranma said, "I hate not being able to move around." "Do you miss your morning workouts with your dad?" Ranma made a sour face. "Well...I kinda miss the workout..." "But not your dad?" "You got it. I'm so mad at him right now, I don't really need to be sparrin' with him none." "I thought so," Tofu said, making his voice sympathetic, "He isn't the only one you are angry with right now either, is he?" "You got that right!" Tofu held up his hand before Ranma could launch into a full blown rant. "I can understand that, and that is one of the things we need to discuss." "There's somethin' bad wrong with me, ain't there?" "It _is_ serious, Ranma, but not likely to be a major cause of concern if you treat it." "Me treat it?" "Yes. I can only do so much. This is a case where you will have to do most of the healing on your own. I can help, but only just so much. Most of it will be up to you." Ranma flopped down on Tofu's ancient couch and stared at the floor. "Ranma?" "I'm listenin', Doc." "You have a stress related disorder. It is what is causing you to have problems controlling your ki and it is what is causing you to have all those nightmares." "Some of them have been doosies, Doc." "Yes, I'm sure they have," Tofu said, "What we need to do here is to get you away from the stress causing situations for a while until you can sort things out emotionally." "Doc?" "Yes?" "Tell me the truth. Am I goin' nuts?" Tofu bit his lip. He always hated trying to explain this sort of thing to a patient. Their reactions to it varied widely and were wildly unpredictable. Ranma was basically a good youngster, but he was nothing if not unpredictable. "Not yet, but you could." "I was afraid of that," Ranma said, as he again began fiddling with his pigtail, "I guess that makes me pretty dangerous, doesn't it?" Tofu laughed. "You were dangerous before all this came up, Ranma. The one thing that made you safe to be around is your sense of honor and your habit of being kind." "I..." "Look, there are two very real dangers here if we let your usual lifestyle start up all over again. The most immediate one is that you might lose your temper and do something you would later regret." "Aw hell, Doc! I been dealin' with that since I was about eight." "I know, but it has been much more difficult for you since this past Sunday, hasn't it?" "Ah, only while I'm asleep." Tofu gave Ranma rueful grin. "I did notice." "I really am sorry about tearing up the place." Tofu grinned. "Don't worry about it. I'm getting a newly remodeled lobby out of the deal and without ever having to turn it in on my insurance." Ranma shuddered. "The other very real danger we face is that you could wind up an emotional cripple, like Soun Tendo." "Oh, man!" Ranma exclaimed. "What happened to make him like that?" "Without going into the details, Ranma. Soun did not get away from his troubles often enough nor long enough to recover, then his wife died." Ranma began staring at the floor and fiddling with his pigtail again. "I think I can understand that," Ranma said in a quiet voice, "Especially about losing his wife." "Ordinarily, I would prescribe three months of prolonged rest and quiet for a patient such as yourself, Ranma." Ranma looked up
at his doctor sharply. "I know! It isn't to be expected in your case. So we'll do the next best thing." "And that is?" "I'd like for you to stay here for at least another two-weeks without going back to school and another two-weeks after that. If it looks like your emotional condition is improving, maybe then you can return to Tendo-ke." Ranma pulled a very long face. "This summer, I think it would be best if you went on a long trip. Spend the entire two months away from Nerima if that's possible." "But what about Akane?" "Take her with you if she'll go, Ranma. But understand this, if you don't do something about this problem now, it will only get worse and you will be a danger to yourself and everyone around you." Ranma liked none of this, Tofu could tell and in truth, did not blame the boy at all. Putting one's life on hold until the jitters disappeared had never been easy for any of his patients. Few of them ever fully succeeded. "Sunday, I thought maybe you and Akane might enjoy visiting a little spot I know out in the country." "Sure, Doc. It'd be nice to get out here for a while." "Maybe you could teach me that kata you were working on this morning." Ranma gave Tofu a sheepish grin, then as might be expected of Ranma, the boy counterattacked. "You gonna try it out on Kasumi, Doc?" Tofu was only temporarily nonplussed. "Hmm, maybe--unless you'd rather practice with me in your girl form." "Aw, Doc!" Ranma shouted, "Don't even go there!" The two of them laughed together for a moment. "I don't guess I should be surprised that you figgered out what that kata is for, should I?" "Just be sure you have it down pat before you try it on Akane, Ranma. I don't want to have to treat both of you for a concussion." "Don't worry! I won't use it until I know it's perfect." "This Wednesday, you and I will go visit a colleague of mine, a Doctor Takahashi." "What sort of doctor is he? A shrink?" Tofu smiled. "No, _she_ is a gynecologist." " She's a kinda what?" "A gynecologist. A doctor who specializes in medicine for women." Ranma groaned. "Do I hafta? I thought you said both halves were in great shape!" "They are, as far as I can tell, but I am not a gynecologist. You need to see one. You probably should have seen one several months ago." "I don't wanna...Oh!" Ranma blushed. "Your talkin' about _that_." Tofu nodded his head while being very careful to keep a straight face. Ranma's discomfiture was unsurprising to say the least, and there was no call to rub it in. Much to Tofu's surprise, Ranma took it fairly well. His face went blank for a moment, then he nodded his head at Tofu. "Yeah, okay," Ranma said calmly, "It just makes sense I guess." "One more thing, Ranma." "What's that?" "Try to let go of your anger." Ranma made a very sour face. "I'll try." "There is no trying to this, Ranma," Tofu said with a shake of his head, "You must let it go. It will destroy you if you don't." "You don't know what you are asking," Ranma said through clinched teeth. Ranma's voice was hard and the air temperature began to fall. "Oh, yes I do," Tofu said, "Remind me this Sunday to tell you about my internship." "I'll work on it, Doc." "Work on it real hard, Ranma," Tofu said, "All the power in the world does you no good if you cannot control it." "Power isn't a good answer, anyway," Ranma said, sounding both dejected and worried. "I don't know what to do for sure." "You can start by dropping the anger and thinking clearly, Ranma." "Think?" Ranma asked, "I ain't never had time to think," "You've had some training in meditation, haven't you?" "A little," Ranma said, "Pops didn't think much of it and we didn't stay at that dojo for very long." "Well, too much meditation can be a bad thing," Tofu said with a smile, "but I think now would be a good time to give it another try. It might help." "Okay, I'll do a little tonight after I study." "Good!" Tofu said cheerfully, "Now then, you need to go get some sleep." "Will it be okay if I just sleep here, Doc?" "I don't know why not," Tofu said, "In fact, I think you and Akane might actually be a bit more comfortable up here, then I could have my examination room back." Ranma grinned at his friend and Doctor, "Nabiki said we should move up here and that she'd be sending our camping stuff over tonight." Tofu chuckled. "No matter what your father told you Ranma, you need to always remember one thing." "What's that, Doc?" "Women are almost always a hell of a lot more practical than we are." "Yeah?" "Yes. Now get some sleep," Tofu said to Ranma with a grin, then hurridly went downstairs. He realized
that it was important that he speak with Akane about what happened the night before. Ranma's communication skills were the exact opposite of his acumen in The Art. Doubtless he needed to know the things Ranma had inadvertantly left out of his story.
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Comes The Cold Dragon Nabiki somehow found the bath. It really helped, because the bath woke her up enough to find the dining table. Before taking a bite of a meal she wanted, but did not think she could stomach, she decided to check with her cellular telephone. There had been four calls that morning. With a sigh she called her voice-mail number. The only big surprise of the day was that Xian Pu took an early delivery on her bicycle. She had one other call that confirmed the machine's suspected performance. Apparently, Xian Pu had instantaneously become a speed-demon this morning. That could be good and it could be bad. Nabiki had to weigh the odds carefully. Increased speed meant that Xian Pu would have less trouble covering more ground. With increased speed on the other hand, came the increased likelihood of an accident and thereby a missed delivery. The real problem was that unless they increased the number of orders Xian Pu was required to deliver, she might return home less than exhausted. Nabiki suddenly found herself weighing her ducats against her sister. Her sister won. Push come to shove, she would find a way to make Happosai cover her losses. Nabiki dialed a number. "Hello, Nabiki?" A voice answered. "Up the odds on Xian Pu. Make them four to one and take all comers," Nabiki said. "Are you sure, Oyabun?" "Yes," Nabiki said, mildly irritated by her assistant's cheek. "Oyabun" is the title normally given to underworld bosses. "I _am_ sure. She took early delivery on the new bicycle. The word I get is that it's everything the Frenchman promised and then some." "I hear she's turned into a speed demon. What about accidents?" "She's one of the few women on earth that can take on Ranma Saotome and hold her own for more than five minutes. I'm betting she'll use her head and slow down before she has an accident." "I hope you're right, Boss. We have a lot of exposure on her." "What odds have we posted on a fatality if Ranma or my sister are bothered?" "Still taking even bets." "Make 'em two to one that there will be a fatality." "We have got too many bargains on odds for the day, Boss." "Have we ever had a deliberate fatality around here? You let me worry about the odds. I'll cover the losses if necessary, but I'm almost certain we won't lose. Who is going to be idiot enough to bother Ranma and Akane right now?" "You're the boss, Boss." "And don't you forget it!" Nabiki said, with a smile. She never finished a call sounding hard-nosed unless the conversation was with someone refusing to pay a debt on time. "Feeling better, Nabiki-chan?" "Yes, thank you, Oba-san," Nabiki said to Nodoka as she sat down at the table. Nodoka poured tea into Nabiki's cup. Nabiki remembered to fill Nodoka's cup, just in time to avoid a sharp look. "How are things going?" "Other than being terribly busy, very good," Nabiki said, hoping to avoid any untoward revelations. "I don't mean to pry, Nabiki-chan," Nodoka said, looking both worried and embarrassed, "but I am very concerned about what my family must owe yours." "Oh, there's no need to be worried about that, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said quickly. "Happosai is paying for the
damages to Miyagi's." "But what about the clinic?" "Oh, that's being paid for courtesy of the Nekohanten. Xian Pu hasn't missed a delivery all week and the sucker bets against her just keep rolling in." "You make money by running a betting pool?" Nodoka sounded alarmed. "Yes, ma'am," Nabiki said. "I make sure to lose just enough to keep the habitual gamblers coming back for another skinning at least once a week." "Isn't gambling like that illegal?" "Technically, yes," Nabiki said with a smile. "Practically, no. My little operation is too small to get anyone's attention and if I weren't running a small, clean operation, someone bad would be running large and dirty one. The local cops accept a contribution to their survivors fund once a month and leave us alone." Nodoka opened her mouth to same something else, but seemed to think better of it and let the matter drop. Nabiki was greatly relieved. She hurried through breakfast and managed to leave about five minutes early for school, happy to be getting away from Nodoka's reasonable, if problematical queries. She had not gone very far when a car pulled up next to her. The man on the passenger side rolled down his window and called out to her. "Excuse me, Miss! Are you Nabiki Tendo?" "Yes, I am," Nabiki answered nervously. Neither of the two men in the car was wearing a uniform and the car was unmarked, but something about these two guys screamed cop to Nabiki Tendo. That really made her nervous. She knew every cop in Nerima. She knew their names, what shift they worked and what their regular beat was. She knew the names of the wives and children of about half the local force. More than half the local force had taken some kind of instruction from her father at one time or another. She had never seen either of these two guys before. "Could I speak with you for just a few minutes, please?" Nabiki sighed and stopped. The man handed her a picture. "Do you know this girl?" Nabiki instantly recognized the young woman in the picture. It was not that great a picture, but purple hair flying almost straight back behind a girl on a bicycle could only be one person. "I may. Is something wrong?" "No, not at all--at least I hope not." This caused Nabiki to raise both eyebrows. "So?" "Yeah, well...I'm sorry! I didn't mean that the way it sounded," the man said quickly, looking rather sheepish. "I was hoping to get a bet in against her today." "Oh! We're taking bets on Nekohanten deliveries for the entire day, not on any single delivery. We're giving them five minutes leeway on each delivery and today's odds are paying four to one." "Four to one!" The man said with a gasp. "Sounds generous to me!" "Well, you could always take the other side of the bet, but that doesn't pay so well." "No, no! I'll take the four-to-one odds," the man said with a nervous wave of his hand. "How much can you handle?" "We're taking all comers," Nabiki said proudly. "Oh, really?" the man asked with a wicked grin. "Then I don't suppose a two-hundred thousand yen bet would be too much?" "Cash only!" Nabiki said, without so much as a blink. The man handed her a package of bills. Nabiki counted it. "You want a name or a number? "Number," the man answered quickly enough to confirm her suspicions about him. She finished filling out his ticket and handed it to him. "When can I expect to collect?" the man asked. Nabiki gave him a credulous stare. "You're betting into four-to-one odds and want to know when you can collect?" she asked. "Let's just say I'm feeling very lucky today," the man said sarcastically. "If you win, you can meet me here at five, or at the west gate of Furinkan High School around 4:30. Just be sure you have that ticket. You won't get paid without it." Nabiki had learned the hard way that gamblers would sometimes sell a marker to someone, then try to collect winnings before the person they sold the market to could find her. Fortunately, Ranma had been within earshot the one time that had happened to her. "Fair enough!" The man said, then rolled up his window. They pulled smoothly away from the curb and disappeared around the corner. Nabiki shook her head. This thing was getting much larger than she ever expected it to. Sure, a couple of the local flatfeet bet with her all the time, but these two guys were from another division or something. She checked her watch and realized she would need to hurry if she did not want to be late for her first class. ----------- Kasumi and Nodoka dawdled over breakfast until Soun finally put in a groaning appearance. Nodoka gave him an indulgent smile, then went to the kitchen so Kasumi could give her full attention to her father. After
receiving copious amounts of undue mollycoddling for an hour, he limped out to the dojo, groaning about having to "work out a few kinks." "Saotome, old friend! Where are you when I need you most? You big, furry oaf!" Kasumi and Nodoka exchanged glances, then giggled. "Why don't you go get a quick nap, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said. "I'll take the first shift." "You're sure you don't mind, Aunt Nodoka?" "Not at all, dear," Nodoka said with a pleasant smile, "I've been caring for martial artists since before I was your age." "If you're sure, then..." "I'm quite sure, dear," Nodoka said with a genuine smile. "Everything will be fine." Nodoka made short work of the dishes after Kasumi disappeared into her room. Dusting and tidying up the first floor of the Tendo house took distressingly little time. Kasumi had long been in the habit of staying on top of things and there had been so little excitement around the place that there was really too little to do. Nodoka decided to catch up on what little laundry there was to do. She stirred around the house, looking for items that needed washing. Ranma's room amazed her. It looked nothing like the sort of place a teenaged boy lived in. Everything obviously had a place, and each item had been stowed where it belonged. She found Genma's spare gi, which amounted to about one third of her husband's clothing, and dropped it into the basket she had under her arm. Akane's room had a few things, but not many. Nabiki's room appeared similarly neat, until Nodoka opened the closet. There she found almost a full washer load of clothes lying on the floor. Most of them looked as though they had not been worn. Nodoka shook her head and tisked at the sight, then added the clothing to the load in her basket. On the way out, Nabiki's open ledger caught Nodoka's eye. She resisted the temptation to look at it for almost a full thirty seconds before deciding to examine it. Then she sat fascinated for nearly an hour before she remembered that she really should do a few more things around the house before Kasumi woke up. She decided that she would get Soun past lunch, then wake Kasumi. The poor girl had not had a decent rest in months if Nodoka was any judge of such matters. Nodoka left the room feeling very proud of her son, and rather disappointed in her husband. Tendo-ke had seen some awfully difficult times since her husband and Ranma had arrived, and it seemed that Ranma was somehow carrying the load for both himself and his father. The thing she could not understand, was how Ranma had managed to come up with such large sums of money so many different times on what appeared to be very short notice. "Genma Saotome," Nodoka whispered to the empty living room, "If you have been involving our son in that sort of work at his tender age, you will find yourself going on another long trip!" Ranma is much, much too young to be involved in anything so terribly dangerous to body and soul, she thought to herself. Besides, he is the only heir to the Saotome line. Ranma must avoid that kind of work until he has a son of his own. Nodoka fought down the temptation to go retrieve Genma from the zoo, just so she could make him miserable. There was no rush to get to the bottom of this issue. The evidence could not be carted away or even hidden now that she knew it existed. "You are going to PAY, for this, Genma!" Nodoka said in a growling voice as she trooped off towards the laundry room. ----------- The food at the Gakki's Wok was not all that good, but it was plentiful. The truth be known, Taro could cook a better meal for himself and had it not been for Mei Ling, the best looking waitress working in the joint, he would never have eaten at the place more than once. Thanks to Mei Ling though, he found himself taking one of their huge meals of greasy slop once or twice a week. His flirting campaign had gone exceptionally well. Mei Ling had fallen into the habit of doting on him more than she did her other customers. She teased him mercilessly until he told her his full name. Thankfully, she took it as just another of his silly jokes and did not press the matter further, but there could be little doubt as to where matters were headed. Taro was running short of time. He had to go back to Japan and find the old man. This time, he swore silently to the heavens, this time I will return home with a real name. The name of a real man, not that of some sick pervert! Anything! Anything would have been better than Pansuto Tarou! Why didn't he just name me Suu? ----------- Akane did not immediately come back downstairs after packing hers and Ranma's gear up to the second floor. Tofu
urgently needed to speak with her, but decided to make a telephone call while she was out of earshot. The telephone on the other end of his call only rang once. "Nekohanten. How may I help you today?" Ko Lon's voice asked. "Honored Elder? This is Tofu Ono. How are you this morning?" "Quite well, but very busy, Doctor," Ko Lon said in a voice that suggested the ancient woman was pleased to be speaking with him. "How are things with you?" "Both busy and interesting." "I suspected they might be," Ko Lon said with a chuckle. "How is Ranma doing?" "Physically, he is in magnificent shape," Tofu said cheerfully. "But there are, ah, other complications?" "Yes, you could say that, Honored Elder." "We need to talk, do we not?" "I would be most grateful for that, Honored Elder," Tofu said sincerely. "I do hope you are not too busy." "For Ranma, I will make the time, Doctor," Ko Lon answered seriously. "What would you like for luncheon?" "Whatever you're having would be pure ambrosia, I'm sure," Tofu answered with a smile in his voice. "Hmmph! At my age, ambrosia is a much overrated meal." They laughed together for a moment. Then Tofu asked the question he was burning to ask well before making this call. "Tell me, Ko Lon. Did you speak to Ranma last night?" There was a prolonged silence before Ko Lon answered. "After a fashion, yes," Ko Lon said, "but were it not the fact that you are his doctor, I would never have admitted to it." "I see," Tofu said gently, "Rest assured that I consider this a privileged matter. It will never be discussed with anyone, not even my colleagues." A master like Ko Lon could easily find herself inundated with unwanted students if word that she could use some of the legendary techniques got around. Worse, would be the nosy writers and reporters from yellow press. Following the yellow press would be the "debunkers." Her reluctance to admit to such a feat as using a ki voice was more than understandable. "Thank you, young man," Ko Lon said with a dry chuckle. "I did not think you would disappoint me. Would a late luncheon be inconvenient for you? We are terribly busy here between eleven and one." "No, that would not be a problem at all," Tofu answered. "Then I'll expect you to be here at two o'clock." "I'll be there," Tofu said, as he frantically scanned his appointment book, then thanked the kami upon discovering he had nothing scheduled between two and three. "See you then, Doctor." "Until then, Honored Elder." Akane knocked at his door just as he put down the receiver. "Yes, Akane?" "Have you got a minute, Doctor Tofu?" "Certainly, Akane. What's on your mind?" "How is Ranma doing?" "Well, he appears to be fully recovered from the concussion Happosai gave him," Tofu said with a note of caution in his voice. One could never be entirely certain about concussions. They had a nasty habit of causing problems several years down the road. Such ill effects was one of the many hazards of being a martial artist. "He is still having trouble controlling his ki, and I would list his emotional condition as fragile." "That's what I wanted to talk to you about for a moment, if you have the time." "Good!" Tofu said cheerfully. "You saved me from asking. Tell me what happened last night." Akane did not tell Tofu everything of course, but she did tell him a good deal more than Ranma had. Tofu guessed at what Akane might be holding back and silently cheered. They were at an age where a little petting would hurt nothing and they very badly needed one another. Akane needed Ranma almost as much as Ranma needed her. Now if the fates would just show them a little kindness, they might actually grow old together. Some of the other news was not so good and was personal in nature. "I didn't really stuff Shimazu-sensei into the closet with Betty, did I?" Akane did not quite stifle her giggle before nodding her head. "Oh, dear!" "She took it pretty well, all things considered, Tofusensei." Tofu shook his head to clear it. He had more pressing concerns. His patients came before his personal troubles. He made a mental note to call Shimazu later and apologize to her, not that she was likely to understand. "I think the manifestations Ranma experienced last night were normal, all things considered." "NORMAL?" Akane's eyes went wide with shock. "Akane, we _are_ talking about Ranma Saotome here," Tofu said doing his best to put a bit of gentle humor into his voice. "Sure! I know Ranma is...well...unique, but...but I never heard of _anything_ like this!" Akane said, finishing her sentence with a note of heartfelt alarm. "And I have never heard about, nor have I ever seen a seventeen-year-old
master of more than one Martial Art," Tofu said with genuine respect in his voice. "This morning, I watched him derive a number of difficult Tai Chi Chuan techniques simply by experimenting with a kata, Akane. That is the work of a forty, or fiftyyear old man who has studied his art for a lifetime. Ranma is nothing if not a prodigy. He is going to be full of surprises for a long time to come." "But what is happening to him now is dangerous!" "Yes," Tofu said, taking care to make his voice gentle but firm. "Power is always dangerous. The greater the power, the more dangerous it is. Not even Ranma can defy universal law." "Whatever you do, don't tell _him_ that!" Akane said, with a somewhat vague smile, "The baka will take it as a challenge and you know how he is." They laughed together, but their humor subsided quickly. It was followed by a pregnant silence. "He...he made lightning, Doctor Tofu!" Akane said, sounding overawed. "Quite by accident, I'm sure, Akane." "Yeah, this time. What about the next time he runs into Kuno?" "Hmm, that might give a whole new meaning to Kuno's favorite moniker!" "I'll say!" Akane exclaimed. "I knew Ranma was powerful in the Art, but now he seems to be mastering magic." "I don't think there is any magic involved here, Akane." "Huh?" "Ranma soaked up an enormous amount of energy the night he froze the lobby," Tofu said, with a thoughtful rub at his chin. "There was no way he could contain it forever. He had to release it sooner or later. Last night was the night." "Oh, I see!" Akane said with an odd sort of flinch. It made Tofu wonder what else she was thinking about. "So he made the lightning on accident trying to dissipate excess energy?" "Hmm, sort of, I think. I'll have to check on my theories here. It has been a long time since I studied physics and I took as little of it as the university would allow, but I think what Ranma must have done was to have made ball of plasma." "Plasma?" Akane asked, as her eyes grew wide with shock. "Isn't that extremely hot, ionized gas?" "Ah, well it can be hot, but it could also just be highly ionized. The temperature of a gas can be a slippery notion. Ki interacts strongly with the atmosphere in preference to anything else. I think, I _think_ mind you, I am not certain yet, that Ranma must have generated a large quantity of very hot ki in a very small volume of air. This produced a ball of plasma, which, if I recall correctly, conducts electricity quite nicely." "But why did he have a cold flash right after all that?" "I can't be sure," Tofu said, "but I would wager that he gave up too much energy at one time and had to bring his energy levels back into balance." "Does that mean Ranma must carry around a lot more pure energy than other people?" "That's an excellent question, Akane," Tofu said with a sigh. "Unfortunately, I don't know the answer to it, yet. We are dealing with a great many unknowns here. The high level of energy he carries around as a normal load, almost certainly has something to do with his curse." "I probably should have gotten away from him during his cold fit last night, huh?" "No!" Tofu said quickly, "No, oddly enough, I think you did exactly the right thing, Akane. Now Ranma knows he has some measure of control over this. Whereas before, he was afraid it had complete control of him. Now that he has controlled it once, he knows for a fact that he can control it and he will." "But his control may not be all that good for a while, ne?" "Especially when he becomes angry, Akane," Tofu said. "That is one of the terrible things about stress. Too much of it will give a person of even the sweetest nature a bad temper." "I guess it wouldn't hurt if I kinda kept an eye on my own temper as well, would it?" Akane asked, half to herself. Tofu merely smiled and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Gomenasai!" A voice called from the lobby. "Okaerii!" Tofu called back, "Please have a seat! I'll be with you in a moment!" "I guess I'd best go get some studying done," Akane said with a sigh. "Thanks, Doctor Tofu. You're the greatest!" "Not at all, Akane!" Tofu said with a warm smile. "We can talk some more later." ----------- "So where is Kuno?" Nabiki asked her assistants as they trooped outside for lunch. "I haven't seen him all morning." "Word is that he called in sick, Boss." "Do we have independent verification?" Nabiki asked. Such verification was necessary. Kuno would be unlikely to attend school should his father succeeded in cutting his hair. One of their standing bets was over whether or not Principle Kuno would ever
succeed in cutting his son's hair, the bet being off if the Elder Kuno realized his dream while Tatewaki were sick or injured. "I've been trying to get in touch with our usual source, but no luck so far." "Stay on it!" Nabiki said. "That one could run into some real money." "Xian Pu has been early on every deliver so far today, Nabiki-san," one of her male assistants reported. "She hasn't even had a close call with traffic on her new bicycle." "Okay," Nabiki said, "Where is she n..." She stopped trying to speak as a sudden gust of wind ruffled her clothing and hair. "Here!" The male assistant answered Nabiki's incomplete question with a grin. Nabiki looked around and spotted Xian Pu on her new bicycle. She was being mobbed by hormone ridden boys. Xian Pu was playing it up for all it was worth. While this did not result in tips per se, as tipping just isn't done in Japan, a good many of the boys told her not to bother with making change. Their generosity invariably resulted in a smile and joyous wiggle from Xian Pu. I gotta give her credit, Nabiki thought silently to herself. Xian Pu really knows how to hang it all out. "Nabiki-san?" "Yes?" "We just got the word, Kuno is sick and injured. Seems he got himself into trouble with Kodachi." Nabiki laughed even as she shuddered. Kodachi was no bargain as a sister, but the poor girl did have Kuno for a brother. "Where does Xian Pu go after this?" Nabiki asked. "Her next one's a long delivery. She got an order early this morning for two lunches in Kasuga." For some reason, this caused a faint alarm to trip in the back of Nabiki's mind, but she did not understand why. "Kasuga, huh?" The boy nodded his head. "We got anybody over that way?" "Already covered it." "Good." Nabiki said, then asked suspiciously, "Do we know who placed that order?" "Yes, but I never heard of 'em before, Boss. She had one over in that area earlier this week, but it was by someone else." "It was a single order, right?" Nabiki asked. Something about the Nekohanten receiving an order from that far away truly bothered Nabiki, but she could not quite place a reason for her concern. The boy again nodded his head. "Just be sure she's watched!" "Like I said, Boss, we got it covered." They stopped to watch Xian Pu rocket away on her new bicycle. "Where did you say this bicycle shop is?" "The north end of Forges, just before you get to Sales on the west side." "I think I may visit our French artisan," Nabiki said with a speculative note in her voice. "He might be onto something big." "Can I get in for a cut?" The boy asked. "Can you put up some cash?" Nabiki asked. "You betcha!" The boy answered. "This guy has come up with a real winner in this design, but I think he hates paperwork and bookkeeping." "Oh-ho!" Nabiki said with a wolfish grin. "Just for that, you are in, but I got a question." "Ask away, Boss." "It could be both expensive and risky. Are you in for the long haul?" "Oh, yeah!" The boy answered with a knowing grin. "He's a great engineer, but doesn't know beans from beads about money." "Then he's going to need help, right?" They both laughed. Life comes up roses, once in a while, Nabiki thought to herself. Now I've got a way to keep Kodachi busy while making a ton of money. Hell, I might even cut her in for part of the pie if she does a good job. "Excuse me, Nabiki?" "Huh?" Nabiki said, slightly annoyed at the interruption of her ruminations. "Hi, Ukyo! What's up?" "I need a little help with something." Nabiki forced herself to take a deep breath and remain calm. This could only be about one thing and only the kami could know where it was headed. "What with?" "Well, I'd like to have a Cha No Yu, for Ranma and Akane, but the tea garden I want to use won't return my calls." Nabiki caught herself before she grunted. The fact that Ukyo wanted to make peace with Ranma and Akane was no shock. She had been expecting it. That Ukyo wanted to do so by holding a formal tea ceremony was no surprise either. Making peace by holding the Cha No Yu had been a tradition since before the Tokugawa Shogunate and martial artists like Ukyo were, despite all outward appearances, frequently sticklers for form. No, the surprise was that she had chosen a tea garden so exclusive that it would not return her calls. "When do you want to do this, Ukyo?" "As soon as they have an opening." Nabiki's ran a large number of options through her mind, then thought of Kodachi. "I might be able to handle that with a phone call, Ukyo," Nabiki said. "Which tea garden is it?" "The one just outside of North Park," Ukyo said, sounding frustrated. Nabiki knew the place. It was not really all that
expensive and did not cater to the upper crust that often. Also, getting a time slot for a ceremony at a tea garden early on a Friday afternoon was, surprisingly enough, easy to do. A formally held Cha No Yu, intended to affect a reconciliation, was almost never held at a convenient time. The idea of such a ceremony was that both sides would be giving up something to make peace. An important part of a Cha No Yu so purposed, was making a show of meeting each other half-way. Friday afternoons were almost always too convenient to serve that purpose. This of course is why Ukyo chose Friday afternoon. Fridays were her busiest, most profitable days. Of course, Geisha liked to have their days off as well, but Nabiki did not think that this lay at the bottom of their problem. "Were you planning on hiring a Geisha to help?" "No," Ukyo said with a huge smile. "I'm pretty good at the Cha No Yu. I want it to be just me, Akane and Ranma." "I'll call them and see what they say, Ukyo," Nabiki said, sounding tentative. "I don't think this has anything to do with their schedule." "I don't either," Ukyo said, looking a little shame- faced. "I...well...you know how things can go around here sometimes." "I'll do what I can. Is there a specific time you want?" "I'll take any opening they have after noon tomorrow." "Have you already written the invitations?" Ukyo answered by handing them to Nabiki. Ukyo had gone all out on them. The paper was exquisite and the calligraphy must have taken her hours. "I'll call you as soon as I know something, okay?" "Thanks," Ukyo said. "Oh, how much?" "Nothing!" Nabiki said with a grin. "I'll just put it on Ranma's tab." "I think it's my place to pay for this, Nabiki." "Hey! I'm already being paid to help out with these little problems, remember?" "Oh." Off in the distance, a bell rang. "We'd better head for class." A few minutes later, Nabiki called the owner of the garden and found her surprisingly cooperative once she discovered that only three people would be attending the ceremony and that none of her staff would be required to assist. Much to Nabiki's annoyance, however, the harridan still insisted upon a sizeable deposit against damages. This annoyed Nabiki because the kids would be using the smallest of the establishment's tea houses. It was in a remote, little-used corner of the garden that was ill kept. Ukyo would have her hands full getting the place ready for a Cha No Yu, it being traditional for the teamaster to make all such preparations. The proprietor was obviously overreacting. Nabiki agreed to take care of anything that got broken, plus she agreed to pay an estimated amount of lost revenue if other customers were disturbed by Ukyo's party and left without paying. Nabiki made a mental note to insist that Ukyo leave her spatula at home. After all, one was not supposed to bear arms at a Cha No Yu. "I'll still be lucky if I don't have to stand good for at least one roof," Nabiki grumbled aloud to herself. "And I am doing all of this just so Akane can have Ranma. Ooh! I can't believe I am doing this!" During the next break between classes, she found Ukyou and returned the invitations. "One o'clock tomorrow afternoon, Ukyou," Nabiki said. "And the place is all yours for the rest of the day. "Thanks Nabiki!" "Think nothing of it," Nabiki said. "Just remember what we talked about." "I will!" ----------- Ko Lon watched as Xian Pu shot away from the Nekohanten, headed out for Kasuga and shook her head in wonder. How the child managed to fly that low and not hit anything was a complete mystery. Ko Lon hastened back inside to finish making lunch for herself and Tofu Ono. He would be on time unless a major emergency came up or he ran into the eldest of the Tendo daughters. Ko Lon smiled to herself at that last thought. Kids could be so much fun. They could also be irritating when they approached a subject with preconceived notions. The better educated ones like Tofu Ono tended to suffer rather badly from that defect. She took some comfort from the fact that Tofu practiced both modern and traditional medicine. Perhaps his mind would not be entirely closed to what she needed to tell him. Ko Lon, unlike the majority of her Joketsu sisters, was well traveled. She had spent nearly two decades working as a maidservant to a wealthy Briton's wife. She had sought out such a job at the request of Revered Grandmother, who had been worried, correctly as it turned out, that the Joketsuzoku was too isolated from the rest of the world. Accepting the
assignment had not been much of a burden for her. Ko Lon's first husband had recently died from a brief but devastating illness, and her children had just reached their adulthood. Grandchildren had not been in the immediate offing because she had taught her children to be both patient and picky about choosing a mate. By the time she had returned home, Ko Lon had learned to speak French, English, Japanese and Italian fluently. She also had learned to read, though not speak, most of the other Romance languages. Ko Lon had made important discoveries as well. She remembered what a startling revelation germ theory had been to her. She had begged the Council time after time to send her the money necessary to purchase a microscope, only to be rebuffed. It had taken her quite some time, but she scraped together enough money of her own to purchase one of the instruments and had it, along with a box of carefully prepared slides, shipped to Revered Grandmother. The impact of what it revealed to her people was hard to describe, but to say that her leaders had been impressed would be something of an understatement. They had reimbursed her for the microscope two months later. That had been as fast as the money could be sent to Europe from Qing Hai in those days. Actually, it had not been money that they had sent. They had sent her a small box of sapphires. Selling the jewels had proven troublesome, most of the English jewelers had been both suspicious of her and horribly avaricious, but twice the trouble would have still been a bargain. The money the sapphires had brought, allowed her to purchase many other instruments and books to send home. The Joketsu had always considered cleanliness to be a virtue, but seeing Pasteur's work come alive before their very eyes, changed many habits. The microscope had, in all probability, saved any number of Joketsu lives. It had created more than a little friction as well. A great many of her people remained dubious of the discoveries made by other peoples. A few became scornful of all the traditional beliefs the Joketsuzoku held dear. Ko Lon herself became that rare sort of person who constantly strove to sort out the wheat from the chaff in everything she encountered. If Tofu Ono was a person of like mind, there might well be a chance that something could be done for Ranma, beyond sending the poor, benighted lad to a remote and secluded island in the far reaches of the northern Pacific, that is. Without help, Ranma was sure to become a grave hazard. ----------- Yoshinao Nakada got a call from dispatch just as he finished cleaning and steaming out the tank on his truck. He wasn't through for the day. One of the other trucks had broken down and they needed him to deliver a load of milk to a small town west of Tokyo. With a shrug, he flipped open his cellular telephone and called his wife. He was going to be late getting home, probably as late as ten in the evening. Given that he and his spotlessly clean truck had to be at the first dairy on his route by four in the morning, would mean that tomorrow would be a very long day. It almost was not worth the money. Still, it would be three and a half days worth of pay for two days work so he took the run. After he explained things to his wife, he drove the big truck around to the loading station and waited while men in spotless, white uniforms came out to inspect his tank, then fill it with fresh, cold milk. He was back on the road and headed westwards out of Tokyo by one-thirty. ----------- Tofu finished with a patient at a quarter of two, then began worrying about how to broach the subject of Ranma's condition with Ko Lon. It was unlikely in the extreme that Ko Lon would completely ignorant of Ranma's case, but on the other hand, he had no way of knowing what Ko Lon would believe the best course of action to take. Hopefully, he could learn something of how to help Ranma cope with the enormous surges in his ki. The Joketsu were sure to have had some experience with battle-fatigued warriors, he just hoped that the things she would have to suggest would be truly workable and useful. While he did use a great deal of the so-called "traditional medicine" in his practice, he would be the first to tell you that the overwhelming majority of "traditional medicine" was worse than useless. Knowing what parts of it to use and what to ignore had been and still was one of the greatest challenges he faced. Many of the old medicinal remedies were just plain dangerous, if not poisonous or illegal. Some, by no means all of them, worked from time to time, but only on certain patients. This had puzzled doctors like himself,
just as it had the traditional healers whose education went no further than the instructions they had received from their village shaman. After several years of research, it became clear that the problem was most often a matter of the wrong dosage for correctly diagnosed cases. Often however, the traditional healers had simply misdiagnosed the case they were attempting to treat. Sorting out the problems and winnowing out the truth from fable had been no simple task. Even today, this subject was only pursued by a handful of medical researchers. Out of that handful of relatively open-minded people, Tofu wondered what would any one of them make of Ranma's case? None of the ones he knew dismissed ki out of hand, but how many would believe that a young stripling of a boy like Ranma Saotome could create a small tornado with his ki? Or create a ball of hot plasma that caused lightning to strike? Tofu was on his own when it came to treating Ranma Saotome, and that was all there was to it. Ko Lon might not make the best counsellor in the world from the standpoint of a conventional physician, but she was the only person with whom he could reasonably consult. There was also the fact that she may have used her ki to communicate with Ranma. If that were the case, she no doubt knew a great deal, or at least had experience with what Ranma was going through. It also meant that one or two more of the other old legends he had read possessed something larger than a grain of truth. The thing he had to do was to pick out the useful from the fallacious without offending the Amazon Elder. Such a thing was never easily done. Older people tended to be dismissive of the young, and the young, far too often, were equally skeptical of their elders. He would have to be very careful of Ko Lon's sensibilities, while keeping anything which might harm his patient from happening. He left the office with a worried frown. ----------Nakada saw the girl speeding along the left shoulder as he approached and wished that there had not been a car on his right so that he could have moved over a lane. He had seen what the powerful wake of his truck could do to cyclists, and disliked the idea of hurting one of them. Unable to move over a lane, he backed out of the throttle and let the rig's engine slow it down several kilometers per hour. He watched his rear-view mirror as he passed the girl by, wanting to make sure his wake did not blow her off the road or worse, pull her into the fast moving traffic of the freeway. Much to his horror she disappeared behind the truck, but then he saw her hand waving at him. He grinned. She was going to try to draft along behind him. "Well hell, kid!" Nakada said to his mirror, I gotta give ya credit for courage!" He stepped down on the pedal and felt his big, Caterpillar V-8 answer the call for power. A glance at his right, rear-view mirror told him the girl was keeping up easily. He wondered how long she would last as he shifted from eighth to ninth gear and hammered the pedal again. The girl lost no ground, keeping pace with the accelerating tanker. Nakada felt the smooth running diesel reach peak RPM and shifted from ninth to tenth. He glanced at his speedometer, they were up to a hundred and climbing fast. He tried to keep one eye on his right, rear-view mirror and the girl as shifted gears at a hundred and ten. Her hair was flying almost straight out behind, like a flag in gale force wind. He could see her right hand pointing down the road. He could not hear what she was shouting, but could tell from the shape of her mouth that she was saying, "Go! Go! Go!" "Okay, pretty baby!" Nakada said to himself as the speedometer climbed up to the hundred and twenty mark. "We'll help you find out what you're made of!" He skipped the next slot and threw the transmission into its highest road gear, then floored the throttle. It was an amazing experience. The speedometer climbed all the way up to the truck's top speed of a hundred and fifty kilometers per hour, but the girl showed no sign of flagging. Nakada became so fascinated by all this that he failed to notice the police cruiser parked along the shoulder of the long, sweeping, right hand curve of the freeway just a few kilometers east of Kasuga. ----------- Norio Ohga sat at the wheel of the his cruiser fuming at his partner. He liked money as much as the next man. Sure, he went along with the shakedown system. It kept the truckers in line and supplemented the pay of struggling cops. The end result was safer traffic. He didn't invent the system! He just went along with it, but this mess his partner
had gotten them into made him nervous. Sure, the money would be more than either of them could make in two months, and all they were doing was ripping off a kid who ran an illegal gambling ring. But somehow, deep inside, he just knew that the ends never justified the means. What kind of example was it to pull a dirty trick on a kid they were trying to influence? What sort of example were they setting? The wiser thing to do would be to bust her for violating the law, scare the bejeebers out of her, then let her go and see if she didn't straighten up. They had pulled that stunt many times and it almost always worked. Instead, here they were, acting like a couple of Yakuza rigging a fight. He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. This wasn't law enforcement. He looked over at his partner on the passenger side of the cruiser. Shirikawa was not the least bit nervous. Excited would be the better term. He was twisted around in the seat so that he could see the oncoming traffic through the back window. He looked like a hungry wolf waiting for a rabbit to pop out of the brush. "She should be along any minute now, Norio!" "We ought to blow this off, Tetsuro!" "Are you nuts? We've already placed our bets." "So? I think I'd rather lose the money than do this. It's dirty!" "Hey, man! The whole world is dirty anymore. 'Sides, this Tendo kid will have to think twice about her little gambling operation after this." "That's another thing, Shirikawa. How many times have we been told not to mess with Nerima, huh? How many times? You know the department has to handle things in a special way over there." "Special, smecial! Why should the flat-feet get all the gravy?" "How do you know there is any gravy? Huh, Tetsuro? What I hear about the place is that it's dangerous 'cause all kinds of weird shit happens around there all the time." "Aw, come on, man! Don't tell me you believe all that crap! Witchcraft? Martial artists that turn into animals? Kids that can leap from the street to a rooftop in the blink of an eye? Give me a break!" "Why shouldn't I?" "Because it's a load of crap, that's why! It's just a gimmick somebody's usin' to set up their very own, sweet little empire and cut the rest of us out of the pickings, that's all!" "I think you're the one that's full of it, Tetsuro. I been hearin' about Nerima since I was a kid. The place has always been strange. It was strange back before the war." "Oh, yeah! Here we go again. More of your granpa's stories! Dontcha get it, Norio? He just tells tall tales to entertain you so you'll visit him regularly." Ohga snorted in disgust. He should have known better than try to reason with Shirikawa while he had the scent of money in his nose. He had been that way since they had been buddies in high school. Ohga's shoulder's slumped as he realized there would be no talking his partner out of their folly. The radar set beeped, causing Ohga to look at it. A speeder! A fast one. Ohga glanced up at the rearview mirror. Much to his horror and outrage, the speeder was nothing less than a monstrous great milk truck roaring through the traffic at a hundred and fifty. He tensed as he flipped on his turn signal and began rolling down the shoulder, waiting for a break in the traffic. "What are you doing?" Shirikawa shrieked at him, "We're waitin' for the kid, remember?" "That guy is doin' a hunnert an fifty in a milk truck on a crowded freeway!" Ohga bellowed back, "I'm gonna bust his ass!" "You idiot! We got two-hunnert thousand riding on tha...Wait! There she is! Go! Go! Go!" The cruiser shot out into the traffic, tires smoking. ----------- The cruiser pulled up along side Xian Pu without the trucker noticing it. Xian Pu almost immediately recognized it as the same police car she had encountered before. Not because she recognized the men in the car. What she recognized was the aura emanating from them. They were the same petty no-goods that had tried to pull her over before. Petty crooks wearing badges and uniforms did not surprise her at all. The Chinese constabulary was rife with such men, all of whom knew that the Joketsuzoku neither wanted nor needed their unhelpful "help." The fact that this was Japan and that its police force was very different from the village level constabularies in China never crossed her mind. The only thing on Xian Pu's mind was what to do about these two, unwanted obstacles. Killing them was not a good idea. Even in the Joketsuzoku, one did no serious harm to a cop without first obtaining permission from the Council of Elders. Such a thing could entangle the entire tribe and had to be properly handled. Causing a cop major trouble, or even
roughing him up a bit to teach him some manners however, was a perfectly acceptable practice. The now was how to deal with these two. They were in a car while she was on a bicycle. They had a pronounced advantage over her, even though she could easily take both of them on at the same time in a stand-up fight. She glanced over at the cruiser. One of the cops was holding his badge pressed against the glass on his side of the car, motioning for her to pull over. The grim-faced driver of the cruiser was not looking at her at all. He was staring intently at the back end of the milk truck as though he hated it. Xian Pu then noticed that all of the car's windows were rolled up. It was in effect, an enclosed space, perfect for the Damae-dou, Oku no Fukasa Yure-satsu, or Take- out Way, Inner Depths Shake-up Strike. She reached out and touched the passenger door of the cruiser with the tip of her index finger, not really knowing if the technique would work on an automobile. The results of her effort however, were immediately gratifying. Xian Pu hugely enjoyed the sight of unmitigated terror spreading across the face of the cop holding his badge against the window as white smoke began pouring out of the back of the cruiser. It immediately lost speed and dropped behind her. Xian Pu and the milk truck merrily continued their race towards Kasuga. Being the very mission oriented Joketsu that she was, Xian Pu never looked back to see what became of the cruiser. Ahead of Xian Pu, in the cab of his speeding milk truck, Yoshinao Nakada laughed so hard at the sight in his left, rear-view mirror that he had to wipe tears from his eyes as he kept the accelerator firmly pinned to the floorboards. Blue flames streamed from the twin stacks of the snarling V-8 Cat as he continued roaring westwards with the young Amazon in tow. Behind them, traffic came to a screeching halt, creating a logjam of cars and irate motorists some eight kilometers long. ----------- Testsuro Shirikawa's patience had been evaporating at a very rapid rate. Between the surliness of his partner driving the car, and the stubbornness of the young Chinese woman, he was just about ready to begin pulling at his hair when the young woman turned her lovely head and gave him what can only be described as a wicked smile. He managed to gulp just as her finger poked at the metal panel of the passenger side door, just below his window. The air inside the cruiser immediately thickened until it felt as though he was embedded in a clear, heavy oil, or perhaps, cold glycerine. Much to his horror, he could feel his face being pressed against the glass of the passenger side window as he felt his head begin to change shape. He knew that his skull was getting thinner and thinner until at last, his ears were pressed flat against the cold, smooth surface of the tempered glass, both with their inner sides looking out. The sound was the strangest thing he had ever heard. Every little noise was sharper and more pronounced than any sound he had ever heard before. Even the faintest of vibrations seem to be finding their way through his body and assaulting his sense of hearing. "I'll bet we look like somethin' dreamed up by Salvador Dali," Shirikawa tried to say, but couldn't as the horrors he was experiencing began to worsen. Now he was sliding upwards, knowing that he must be slithering along the glass as though he had been poured out of a jar. Soon the outside world disappeared from sight as his eyes were now pressed firmly against the cloth covered ceiling of the cruiser. He could feel his chest as it worked its way over the ridge of the upper door frame, one rubbery rib at a time. After a few moments of slithering along the inner roof of the car, Shirikawa's horror began anew, as though he had never seen anything horrific before. His face peeled away from the cloth of the ceiling as he felt his skull take a more three- dimensional shape. The great problem with this apparent improvement was that he was bent backwards at a ninety degree angle, something the human back should not be able to do. Even worse was the knowledge that one of his eyes was looking out the front windshield, even as the other eye stared out the back windshield. He became violently seasick and wanted to regurgitate, but could eruct nothing. Sour, stinging bile scalded the back of his throat as what had been his left eye watched the heavy, white smoke billowing from the cruiser's tail-pipe suddenly turn into an oily, blue-black, while what had been his right eye watched the Chinese girl on her bicycle and the milk truck rapidly recede to the west. But
even more horror came into view in the form of a terrified and thoroughly jellified Norio Ohga, floating about in the car in a shape approximating that of a short fat sausage. Ohga was still somehow clutching the steering wheel, that had, for some mysterious reason, become detached from the rest of the car steering column and all. It was as though both he and Ohga were taking a direct, personal part in the proceedings only witnessed within the confines of a lava lamp. "But who's driving?" Shirikawa tried to scream. Again, no sound came from his lips. The icy fingers of terror already gripping his heart tightened even more as Shirikawa watched the seats of the car begin doing the same thing he and Ohga were already doing. He realized that he might suddenly be forever melded with one of them. He collided with the front seat, and to his great relief, he and the seat oozed around one another in a slimy dance. For the first time he felt something like pain, an overpowering, burning itch seared his skin everywhere he and the car seat touched. He could do nothing about it. His limbs would not respond to his commands. They simply oozed around in the thick atmosphere of the car, as though drifting in currents of oil. Just as he thought the burning and itching would be more than he could bear, the cruiser went into a hard spin causing him to lose consciousness. ----------- Much to Tofu's surprise, the Nekohanten had a sign out front stating that the establishment was still accepting take-out orders, but the restaurant itself would be closed until three in the afternoon. Mu Suu met him at the door. "Please come in, Doctor," Mu Suu said with a very Japanese bow. "The Honored Elder awaits you." "Thank you, Mu Suu," Tofu said, unable to keep the curiosity out of his voice. "Good afternoon, Doctor Tofu," Ko Lon called in English. She was seated at a table in the far corner. It was laden with several courses of a large meal. The main dish appeared to be a pair of baked pheasant, stuffed with rice and rosemary if his nose was telling him the truth. The side dishes included yams roasted over an open fire and several other vegetables he could not identify, but all of it smelled delicious. "Good afternoon, Honored Elder," Tofu answered in English, hoping his American accent would not cause her trouble. Ko Lon's accent was that of a very proper, upper class Briton. "How is your English, Doctor?" "Quite good," Tofu answered with a smile, "If you can tolerate the accent." "You do have a noticeable trace of Japanese influence, but I can tell you learned your English from an American." "Is it that obvious?" "To me it is," Ko Lon said with a smile, "My former employer was a stickler about eliminating any "Americanisms" that I happen to pick up during my travels with his family. How are you today?" "Quite well, thank you," Tofu said. I must look dumfounded he thought to himself. I never expected her to speak English. No doubt she wants to speak English to maintain our privacy. I wonder how many other surprises she has hidden up those voluminous sleeves? "How are you today, Honored Elder?" Tofu asked. "Please, Doctor," Ko Lon said sounding a little impatient, "do have a seat. I'm tired and hungry and I am quite sure that you could do with a bite to eat by now as well." "Thank you," Tofu said as he sat down. "So tell me, Doctor. How is young Saotome doing?" Tofu explained in English, everything he could about Ranma's condition, up to and including the events of the evening before. "You say that this "combat fatigue" is a well documented phenomenon among soldiers?" "Yes, quite well documented as a matter of fact," Tofu said. "It is now being referred to as "post-traumatic stress syndrome," which I believe to be something of a misnomer in Ranma's case. Ranma has not yet been fully removed from the source of stress. It can hardly be said to be "post" anything." Ko Lon sighed, then made a wry face. "I should think that the Joketsuzoku have had more than their fair share of such trouble." "Hah!" Ko Lon, cried. "So we have, but we never really had a name for it. "Combat fatigue" seems to fit the problem as well as any other name you could choose for it." "But then those cases must be exceptionally problematical for you when so many of your warriors are powerful, ki adepts." "Strangely enough, no," Ko Lon said emphatically. "Really?" Tofu asked. He was unable to conceal his surprise at this. "The number of people that suffer from this malady and maintain the ability to use their ki is quite small. As with your warriors, the overwhelming majority of them
lose nearly all their interest in living, and with that interest, goes their ability to use their ki. Most of the others, the berserks or amoks, die in battle." "I see." "There has however, been a tiny number who survived. They have indeed presented us with some serious problems. Those cases, while rare, are also widely scattered throughout our history. The last one occurred well before I was born. He was quite old and died before I had done a perfect job of shedding my diapers." "What year was that, if you don't mind my asking?" "Let me see," Ko Lon said as she looked up towards the ceiling, "I'll have to convert the dates...Ah! I have it! It was 1791, Anno Domini." "Seventeen-ninety-one? That was the year he became ill? "No, silly boy! That was the year he died! You don't think I got this good looking overnight, do you?" All Tofu could do for a moment was blink. "How ah, how old was he?" "Something over six hundred years." "Did he die of natural causes?" "I am not sure," Ko Lon said, sounding somewhat irritated. "I sent for information on the matter earlier this week, but have yet to receive a reply. Communications between here and Qing Hai can be...problematical at times. Now is such a time." "What was his name?" "All I ever heard him called was The Cold Dragon." "So he was displaying the same symptoms as Ranma!" Ko Lon nodded her head. Tofu did what came natural under the circumstances. He simply waited for Ko Lon to continue the story between bites of food. "When The Cold Dragon became very old, he left the settled areas to live by himself in a cavern in the mountains, high above our valley. He only rarely accepted visitors, turning away almost everyone who came to see him. After a year and several months of no one seeing or hearing from him, the council sent a warrior to check on him." Ko Lon paused and looked thoughtful for a long moment. "What did the warrior find?" Tofu asked. "Nothing," Ko Lon said. "She was unable to enter the cave. It was blocked by a solid wall of ice. It is still blocked by a wall of ice to this very day." "So almost everyone thinks he lost control of his ki during his sleep." "You are quite astute for a youngster, Doctor Ono," Ko Lon said with an indulgent smile. "That is the conclusion that has been most commonly mentioned since I was a little girl. However, I am not certain of its veracity. That is why I have made inquiries." "Do you think anyone will know?" "Oh, certainly! There are a number of Elders senior to me and we are scrupulous about keeping records. I have every reason to expect as accurate an answer as can be had. May I ask you a question, Doctor?" "Please do!" "What do you think of Ranma's curse?" "It is almost certainly a ki related condition. Nothing else makes sense. It is the only way to account for his energy levels and his change in mass." "Oh, really? You think Ranma's curse accounts for his high level of ki?" "It goes beyond ki, actually. Onna-teki Ranma weighs about half as much as Otoko-teki Ranma. Where does all that mass go when he gets splashed with cold water?" "I have no idea," Ko Lon said quietly. "The secrets of Jusenkyo were carefully hidden long ago. The difference in mass, as you put it, is greater with Mu Suu and Xian Pu, but much greater yet with the Hibiki boy and some of the others." "Hibiki? Ryoga Hibiki?" "Yes, didn't you know?" "No, I didn't. What form does he take?" "A small, black pig." "This wouldn't be the same pig Akane calls P-Chan, would it?" "The one and the same." "Oh, my." Ko Lone cocked an eyebrow at Tofu, then smiled. "But back to this theory of yours, Doctor. You believe that those with a Jusenkyo curse convert their mass to ki, then back again?" "No, not exactly," Tofu said, realizing that this was a subject he would have to address very carefully. "I believe they convert their mass to energy, then store that energy by using their ki." "I do not understand, Doctor. Ki and energy are one and the same thing." "No, I don't think that they are," Tofu said being very careful to curb the excitement in his voice. "You see, modern science has found considerable proof demonstrating that mass and energy are essentially the same and that both are always conserved. Ki however, cannot be conserved because it is generated by living things." Ko Lon stared at Tofu for a long time before speaking. "What sort of proof?" "Hiroshima and Nagasaki, for starters." There was another, prolonged silence. "Have your scientists done any research into the use of ki?" Tofu laughed. "No," he told her, "most of them scoff at the very idea of it." "These weapons that destroyed your cities, how did they work?" "In the
simplest terms, which is all I am able to relate to you because I am not a physicist, they were bombs which converted tiny, almost immeasurable quantities of mass into energy. You see, mass and energy are the same in their very essence, but it takes tremendous amounts of energy to form mass." "And the difference in mass between Ranma in his male body versus his female body is?" "A little over forty kilograms." "And that difference is much greater among those with differing, Jusenkyo curses." "Yes." "So what makes you think that ki is not just another form of energy?" "Two things. Have you ever worked in an emergency ward?" "No, thank the kami!" Ko Lon said. "I have seen patients linger for years without any visible trace of active ki. They were kept alive by machines. Their bodies continued to use energy and release waste heat, but they had no other signs of life about them. They were, non-dead if you will, manifesting only the same, residual ki you see in all inanimate objects. If my observations are correct, and I have every reason to believe that they are, ki is only produced by organisms actively going about the business of living in accordance with its nature. If ki is only generated by living things that are truly alive, then it cannot be conserved as mass and energy are." "And your other reason?" "Ki very often reacts with nothing but the organism producing it. It is only rarely manifested outside the body in a way detectable by anyone not trained to see its manifestations. Energy, all known forms of it anyway, always interacts with its surrounding mass in a detectable way. Ki does not always do this." "Well, Doctor Tofu, if ki is not a form of energy, what is it?" "The only objective definition I can give you is that it is that which living things use to manipulate mass and energy," Tofu said, then paused for a moment. "I do realize that this is a rather terse, and unsatisfying answer, but I would suggest that ki may well be the spark of life itself." "You do realize, my good Doctor, that ki is in everything around us?" "The moon is a dead rock, Ko Lon. Does it have an aura?" The silence in the room became palpable. "It did not always show an aura," Ko Lon said, shattering the brittle quiet. "You mean it does show one?" Tofu asked, as chills ran up his back. "I have never seen it." "You live in Tokyo, Doctor! It never gets dark enough here. We first noticed it in latter half of 1969--during the eighth month I think it was. Sometime in 1972, we finally got the news about the Americans. We only believed the reports of their having landed on the moon because we had seen the moon's new aura first. It had never shown one prior to 1969," Ko Lon said in a subdued voice. "It is fading now, though." "It would seem then, that my theory about ki is reasonably sound." "Tell me, Doctor Ono. What do you think would happen if your government, or the government of any other country for that matter, accepted this theory of yours and decided to test it further?" "I find that idea rather disquieting, Honored Elder," Tofu answered with more than a little solemnity. "For what it is worth, I am primarily concerned with caring for my patient. Taking these matters up with others would almost certainly be detrimental to his health." "Then I think you can appreciate why I must ask you not to reveal anything of what I am about to tell you," Ko Lon said, then took a long, deep breath. "In truth, I have been worried all day that you would scoff at what I have to say. I must admit that there are parts of it that even I find hard to believe, despite my having grown up in an era when the fantastic events depicted by myth and legend were still accepted as unadulterated truth." "I have no problems with discretion in these matters, Honored Elder," Tofu said. "It shall remain under the rose." "You do realize that a significant part of our problem lies with the way Ranma has been trained, do you not?" "Yes, I do. That has worried me more than a little," Tofu answered. Ko Lon nodded her head to show approval, then spoke at length while Tofu carefully listened to every detail and nuance. There was much to be worried about, but room for more than a little hope. Nearly all of that hope came from what Ko Lon believed to be the true nature and purpose of Jusenkyo.
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Comes The Cold Dragon Akane was downstairs when it happened. She had agreed to study near the telephone while Doctor Tofu was out to lunch. This required her to leave Ranma alone upstairs. He had been sleeping very peacefully, showing no trace of the nightmares that had plagued him since the battle of Jusendo. The cold, white mist sliding down the stairwell told her that things had changed. She ran up the stairs, only to find Ranma thrashing about on his futon, arms and legs badly entangled in his covers. The white mist was nearly forty centimeters deep, and the room temperature had dropped to a point suitable for storing fresh vegetables. "Ranma!" "Akane!" Ranma bellowed, as though trying to be heard over a great deal of noise. "Wake up, Ranma!" "What?" "Wake up! It's just a dream!" Akane said, kneeling as close as she could to the futon without being struck by the violently thrashing Ranma. The air in the room was quite cold, nearly matching the temperature of a refrigerator's interior. Ranma woke up staring Akane in the face, his blue eyes hard with fear and anger. "Are you all right, Akane?" "Yes, Ranma," Akane said, struggling and failing to keep the concern out of her own voice. "I'm fine. You were having another nightmare." "Where's Doctor Tofu?" "He went to grab a bite to eat," Akane said. "He'll be back in just a few minutes." "He went out to eat and left you here alone?" Ranma asked, sounding annoyed. "He's been seeing patients all day without a break, Ranma," Akane said, sounding aggravated herself. "Doctors have to eat too, you know. Besides, I am not here alone. You're here." Sharp anger glittered in Ranma's sea-blue eyes for a moment, then faded. "Yeah, I guess you're right," Ranma said after a moment of silence. "He has gone way out of his way to take care of us." Akane watched her fiance for a moment. He looked troubled. "What's wrong, Ranma?" Akane asked. "You look as though the world were about to come to an end." "Ah, I don't _think_ it's quite that bad, Akane." "Oh, yeah? You want me to bring you a mirror so you can see for yourself?" "Huh?" Ranma asked, looking puzzled. "No! I'm not talking about the way I look! I'm talkin' about trouble bein' on the way." "Trouble?" "Yeah," Ranma said, looking grim, "I guess my danger sense triggered the nightmare. I can feel it coming." "Are you sure, Ranma?" Akane asked. "It might just be all the stress we've been through, you know." "Oh, believe me, Akane," Ranma said, "this is way more than just a nightmare." "Ranma, I..." Akane did not finish because she suddenly found herself locked in Ranma's tight embrace. He held her close and said nothing. He just rocked back and forth as though he were trying to comfort a child. Akane did not mind being held in the arms of Ranma's male body, but his behavior worried her greatly. Will he get better? She asked herself. How long will it take? What is he worried about now? Is it something real, or is his imagination in control? "What do you think it is, Ranma?" "The trouble, you mean?" "Uh, huh." "I don't know," Ranma said. "It's still a pretty good ways away." "When do you think it will be here, whatever it is." "Hmm, tomorrow I think. Maybe the day after." "You don't have any idea what it is?" "I've felt it before, Akane," Ranma said, sounding very certain, "but I can't put a name on it. I just know it's dangerous and that we've faced it before." Akane sighed. Assuming Ranma was actually detecting a threat, and not simply suffering from stress-induced paranoia, which she could not rule out at this point, the list of threats they had faced before was a long one. The only good news in what Ranma said was that the threat, whatever it was, would be a
familiar one and would likely be easier to deal with than something new and completely unfamiliar. "I'll think about it for a while," Ranma said, breaking into Akane's reverie. "Maybe I can figure it out if I just think about it for a while." "Hmmph!" Akane snorted. "I think you just need an excuse to hold me." "An excuse to hold...Why would I want to hold a...I don't need an excuse to hold a..." "You're floundering, Ranma." Ranma kissed her full on the lips. "How'zat for flounderin'?" "Not bad," Akane said with a giggle. "Betcha can't do it twice!" "Is anyone here?" A voice called up from the first floor. "It's Konatsu," Ranma said. "I guess you win that one." "What's he doing here?" Akane asked. "I don't know," Ranma said. "Go on down and talk to him. I'll be down as soon as I get my pants on." "You aren't wearing any pants?" Akane asked. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I've been asleep!" Akane just grinned, then wriggled cutely as she made her way towards the stairs. "Coming!" Akane called as she went down the stairs. "Just a minute!" "Good afternoon, Tendo-san" Konatsu said with a deep bow as Akane entered the hallway. "Hello, Konatsu," Akane said, returning his bow. "What brings you all the way out here?" "Is Saotome-san here?" Konatsu asked. "He's on his way down," Akane said. "I just woke him up. He...Here he is." "Yo, Konatsu! What's going on?" "Good afternoon, Saotome-dono!" Konatsu said as he bowed again. This took Ranma back a bit. He did not think he warranted the honorific "dono." That was something used for the mayor or a member of the neighborhood council or something. People sometimes addressed Akane's father that way, but never Ranma or his father. After a moment, Ranma realized that Konatsu was holding his bow while held out a couple of expensive looking envelopes. Ranma hastened to bow as he took them from the cross-dressing ninja's hands. "Arigato, Kenzan!" Ranma said, deciding that one good honorific deserved another. One of the envelopes was addressed to Akane, the other to Ranma. He handed Akane hers, then carefully opened his own. It was an invitation to a Cha No Yu. Ranma looked at Akane and raised an eyebrow. She gave him a quick nod of the head. "Please tell Ukyou that we'd be honored to attend, Kenzan," Ranma said with a deep bow. Konatsu returned Ranma's bow and said, "Ukyou-sama will be very pleased, Saotome-dono." "Thank you for coming all this way, Kenzan," Ranma said unaware that Akane was staring at him. "Would you care for some tea?" "Thank you, no, Saotome-dono," Konatsu said. "I must return quickly. The evening rush will begin soon and we must be ready for it." "I understand, Kenzan," Ranma said, then bowed again. Konatsu bowed and left. "Well, you seem to have manners when the occasion really demands it," Akane said, sounding faintly annoyed. "Hey, I was wingin' it!" Ranma said, feigning irritation then asked, "Did I do it right?" "Mostly," Akane said, giving Ranma a sunny smile. "It's just that I have never seen you try that hard before." "Hey! Konatsu's kinda weird, but he's an okay guy." "Maybe I should get Happosai to hit you on the head a little more often." "Hey! Hey! Hey!" The air around Ranma darkened briefly. "Well you have been trying a lot, lately." "Yeah, well..." "Well what?" "Ya can't stay a kid forever." "Says who? And what's being a kid got to do with having manners?" "Are you gonna be okay with this tea ceremony, Akane?" "Sure. Ukyou is just trying to do the right thing," Akane said, "but I don't think for a minute that she's giving up on you." "Oh, man!" Ranma said, sounding aggrieved. "I figgered she wanted to make peace and let me go." "Ranma," Akane said as she stepped in close to her fiance and put her arms around him, "I don't know that she _can_ give up. I wouldn't be able to." Ranma sighed as he put his arms around his un-cute, yet very beautiful fiancee and patted her back. "I must've been a very bad little boy in my last life." "I don't doubt that for a second," Akane said with a giggle, then kissed him on the cheek. "Hadn't you better go finish your nap?" "Yeah, I guess so," Ranma said, then began walking towards the stairs. "Be sure to stay inside until Doc gets back. Okay, Akane?" "Okay, Ranma," Akane said with a note of sadness in her voice. She could not help but notice that the air around Ranma had darkened a little when he asked her to stay indoors. I wonder if this will ever end?" Akane softly asked herself in the now empty hallway. ----------- Kasumi woke feeling better than she had in many months. The break in my routine must be doing me some good, she thought. Meeting up with Nodoka on the
other hand, gave Kasumi second thoughts. The older woman was red-eyed, bored and cranky, being in need of sleep and having run out of things to do early on in the day. "Shall I wake you for supper, Aunt Nodoka?" "No, dear, I think I might well sleep through until morning. If that's all right with you?" "Oh, certainly!" Kasumi said cheerfully. "It's no problem at all." "Nabiki called and asked if you could arrange supper for Ranma and Akane," Nodoka said. "Apparently, her extracurricular work is interfering with her studies and she has some catching up to do." "Oh, that's wonderful," Kasumi said. "I wanted to go see them and Doctor Tofu anyway." "I thought it would work out nicely for you, dear," Nodoka said with a smile. "What about your father?" "Oh, I think he'll be fine for the evening, but we should probably go after Uncle Saotome soon. Father will become fretful in another day or so without company." "Well, why don't we try to squeeze that in during the mid-morning tomorrow?" Nodoka asked. "Yes, that should work out nicely!" Kasumi said. "Then we can go shopping again." "No doubt we'll need groceries with my husband back in the house!" Nodoka said, sounding as though she were bearing a heavy burden. It made Kasumi smile, knowing full well that Nodoka was mostly joking. "He doesn't eat nearly as much as Ranma, you know," Kasumi said, "but then Ranma still a growing boy." "Good night, Kasumi." "Good night, Aunt Nodoka!" Kasumi hummed to herself as she began to prepare a large, evening meal that could be successfully carried out. ----------After sending Konatsu to the clinic with the invitations, Ukyou hung out a sign telling everyone that her restaurant would be closed until six that evening, then rushed over to the tea garden. The tea house she had rented, and the path leading to it, would have seemed beautiful and perfectly kept to a gaijin, but to the eyes of a nihonjin about to host a serious Cha No Yu, the place was in unspeakably bad shape. She would have to do an enormous amount of work before the place would be even halfway decent and Ukyo was determined to have it in far better than decent shape. The proprietor stopped by and watched Ukyo's furious pace for a few moments, then sent her gardener to help. Much of what Ukyou was finding necessary to do should have been taken care of by her staff, but this little tea house was so seldom used and the others so busy that it had been neglected. It is generally expected that the host of a Cha No Yu will make all the necessary preparations for the ceremony herself, but Ukyou made no objections to the gardener's help. Even with all the pruning and general policing of the grounds done, which meant there would not be a single leaf nor blade of grass out of place, she would still have to arrive two hours early the next day and do one more round of cleaning. A serious Cha No Yu, at which one hoped to offer apologies and make peace, required everything to be perfect. The tea house and its grounds would have to be positively immaculate. Much to Ukyou's relief, Konatsu joined in the work shortly after three, speeding up the things up considerably. With a bit of luck, we'll just manage to re-open the restaurant in time for the evening rush, she thought. ----------- "I think my ass is dragging out my tracks," Nabiki said in English to one of her minions. "What does that mean?" The girl asked. "It means I'm tired!" Nabiki said. "What time is it?" "Five-thirty," the girl said with a grin. "At least we made a lot of money today." "That we did," Nabiki said. "Why don't you go on home. All I have to do now is study." "You do need to spend a little more time on schoolwork, Boss." "I will," Nabiki said, "as soon as we get this current crisis out of the way." "When is there not a crisis around here?" "Well there are problems and there are crises. This is a crisis." "What makes it a crisis?" "My sister's life and millions of yen hang in the balance." "I think I see your point." "Good! Now go home." "See ya tomorrow, Boss." "Ja, ne!" Nabiki said tiredly. It really had been a long day. In addition to attending class, she had negotiated a bargain with the owner of the Northside Tea Gardens, settled two violent disputes between Miyagi and Uchigawa, that work was going well despite Miyagi's usual antics, delivered Ranma and Akane's homework and picked up their new assignments, kept tabs on all the latest rumors, kept track of Xian Pu's deliveries, ran the rest of the gambling pool, and even managed to get a peek at Thibbideaux's Bicycle Shop. Now all I need are a couple of kids to feed and
mollycoddle! Nabiki thought. Wait a minute! I do have a couple of kids to mollycoddle, not counting Dad, Uncle Saotome and Happosai. I've got to make sure Ranma and Akane's kimono get to the clinic before noon tomorrow. She paused long enough to call Kasumi and ask her to take care of it when she carried supper over for them, then returned to her studies. By six-thirty, her stomach demanded enough attention to end all hope of serious study. Nabiki briefly considered going home to eat, then decided that the Nekohanten would probably be a better idea. It was time she and Ko Lon had a talk. Fortunately, it was a short walk from Furinkan to the Nekohanten. She arrived just in time to see Xian Pu depart on her new bicycle. The young Joketsu pedaled away towards Forges Street with what must have been a hundred kilograms of orders. Much to Nabiki's surprise, the restaurant itself was nearly empty, save for a very busy Mu Suu and Ko Lon, who was sitting at a table taking a smoke break while Mu Suu tried to catch up with washing bowls. The old woman cackled when Nabiki walked through the door. "Konnichi wa, Tendo-san!" Ko Lon said in a cheerful voice. "I've been hoping you'd stop in to see us. How are you doing, my dear?" "Tired and hungry, at the moment," Nabiki said with a genuine smile. Despite everything, she really did admire Ko Lon. "I don't suppose you could spare me a bowl of noodles?" "Oh, I think we can scrape a small order together for you!" Ko Lon said with a casual wave of her pipe. "Mu Suu?" "Coming right up!" The tall, young man said. "Will chicken be all right, Tendo-san?" "That would be perfect, Mu Suu," Nabiki said as she sat down at Ko Lon's table. Mu Suu set a steaming bowl in front of Ko Lon, then a another in front of Nabiki. The smell was glorious. Nabiki paused to appreciate Mu Suu's whipcord figure before digging into her soup. Mu Suu returned rather quickly with a teapot and two mugs. The tea was the hard to find and quite expensive Oolong-Suuchong variety, smelling of rose petals and old oak with just a touch of tar. It was rich, dark and delicious. "So, what brings you here besides hunger, Miss Tendo?" Ko Lon asked Nabiki in shockingly proper English. "I thought a talk we should have," Nabiki replied in the same language. "How is my English?" "Surprisingly good, considering where you studied the language," Ko Lon answered. "Do you speak any other languages?" "I study the French have been, but I very little of it speak yet." "Hmm, French is an exacting language and takes quite a while to master," Ko Lon said. "English should be safe enough for our purposes." "Your English sounds very British, Honored Elder. You study in Britain did?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, I did," Ko Lon said with yet another cackle. "I am afraid my English is a bit dated. You see, Victoria was still Queen the last time I visited England." Nabiki's eyes widened at this. "You really must give in and tell me some of your beauty secrets, Ko Lon," Nabiki said, inadvertantly speaking in Japanese. Ko Lon howled with laughter. "Sorry, child," Ko Lon said at last. "At least half of my secret is genetics." "Oh, poo!" Nabiki said, in Japanese while feigning great disappointment, "I was hoping there was a spring of drowned, eternal virgin or something." "You and millions of other young women!" Both of them laughed at this. "So tell me," Ko Lon said in English. "How is my son- in-law doing?" "Ranma," Nabiki said carefully, "quite well physically is. He best shape in is not, but completely healed is. His temperament worrisome is." "So I have gathered," Ko Lon said. "Having difficulties controlling his ki, especially in the late evening?" Nabiki nodded her head. "It will pass," Ko Lon said. "The boy is nothing if not resilient." "That, my conclusion also," Nabiki said. "My sister I worry about most." Ko Lon drew a deep breath and sighed. "And not without good reason, Miss Tendo," Ko Lon said. "I am glad you wanted to discuss this with me." Nabiki looked up in surprise, only to find that Ko Lon had become quite interested in her soup. They ate in silence for a moment, then Ko Lon took a long, noisy slurp of her tea. She put her cup down and refilled both hers and Nabiki's mugs. "I am very sorry about what happened at your sister's wedding," Ko Lon said. "Had I known what Xian Pu was up to, I would have prevented it." "I believe you, Honored Elder," Nabiki said. What Xian Pu had done never had any hope of working. Her actions had done the only thing they could have done for her. They had made matters worse. "Unfortunately, by the time I caught up with her, things were already a great
mess," Ko Lon said. "And I must say, I was more than a little worried about Ranma's condition. He looked to be in a rather poor shape when his father carried him to the clinic." "Doctor Tofu said you several days of his recovery time probably saved," Nabiki said in a quiet voice. "Good!" Ko Lon said. "Now about your sister and Xian Pu..." "Before you con-tin-ue," Nabiki said, interrupting Ko Lon, "there things are you need know I think. Things no one the good sense or politeness? Manners! Manners have you before now tell." "Oh?" "Yes," Nabiki said, then gulped. She had been dreading this in more ways than one. She would be making targets of herself and Kasumi once she had said it, but there was no other way out that she could see. "The marriage agreement between Saotome Clan and Tendo Clan is. Just our two families is not." There was a moment of silence while Ko Lon sorted out Nabiki's idiosyncratic English. "O-o-o-h, ho-o-o!" Ko Lon said. "Which means that if anything happens to your youngest sister, you or Kasumi would be obliged to take her place, yes?" "And of us none able to meet the obligation is not, one of our cousins will," Nabiki said. "As long Ranma Saotome lives, member Tendo Clan marry him obligated is." "What can you tell me of your family's history, Tendo- san?" "Our history?" "Yes," Ko Lon said, "Would you prefer to speak Japanese?" "No," Nabiki said, "Speaking English good practice for me. I cannot say you our family's history much about, but a lot of it there is. I know Nerima Tendo Fief prior to the Meiji Restoration was." "Hmm, how far back do your records go?" "Not sure am I," Nabiki said. "I record dated 1299 or something like have seen, but I sure cannot be. Japanese that old difficult read." Nabiki had a sudden thought that made her sit bolt upright. "Something wrong, Dear?" "Nothing wrong. Ranma those older records could read." "Oh, really? I never took him for a scholar." "Ranma studious when he interested is," Nabiki said with a grin. "He ancient Japanese and old Chinese can read. Many scrolls about The Art in those languages written were." Ko Lon slapped her thigh and laughed. "He much history knows also," Nabiki said. "Tell me. What is his mother like?" Nabiki took a deep breath and held it a moment before answering. "She a formidable woman is," Nabiki said, then paused again. "And she goofy as wooden watch." "Oh, really?" Ko Lon asked, sounding surprised. "She driven by something seems, but what I know not." Ko Lon held up her hand, then spoke. "There is far more to this arranged marriage than you know, Miss Tendo. In all probability, there is more to it than I know, yet. Certainly, there was far more to it than I knew before just a few days ago." Nabiki was shocked speechless. Getting this kind of news from this particular source was not something she had in any way expected. "I will not speak of it now, for I am not entirely sure of its accuracy, but rest assured that I am keenly interested in having peace between the Joketsuzoku and Tendo- ke." "Peace with Tendo-ke, or with Ranma Saotome?" "Both, of course!" Ko Lon said with a very open smile. "But there is much more involved than I can rightly discuss with you at the moment. I think in the meantime your fatigue campaign against Xian Pu should continue--within reason of course." Nabiki smiled at Ko Lon. It was from her very best imitation of the great white shark. "I happy hear you like it." Ko Lon grinned right back, and it was every bit as toothsome as the smile Nabiki had given her. "It is a brilliant ploy, my dear! Worthy of a true Joketsu!" "Thank you, Honored Elder." "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" "That on the question depends." "How do you feel about Ranma?" Nabiki blushed violently. "I thought so," Ko Lon said, as she squinted her eyes at Nabiki. "I suppose then you can understand my great- granddaughter's infatuation with him?" Nabiki had to admit that Ko Lon had a point. For a person such as herself, Ranma was the sort of guy one might consider dragging off to bed for a night or two, not the sort she would ever marry. For a girl like Xian Pu though, to whom martial arts and fighting were the be-all and end-all of existence, Ranma had to be irresistible. Who are you trying to kid, Nabiki? She silently asked herself. You have regretted the day you palmed him off on Akane for almost a year now. You would marry him in an instant and support him the rest of his life if you got the chance. "I understand can, Honored Elder." "Don't think that I am immune either, my dear." "Nani?" Nabiki was so surprised by this she lapsed into
Japanese, then quickly remembered to speak in English. "You in love with him as well are?" "Hah-ha-ha!" Ko Lon laughed. "No, not really. I do think of him as a son, though. He welded himself to my heart shortly after I arrived here." "When this happen? That day on beach?" "No, a few weeks before that. In this very restaurant." "What happened?" "He marched in here just as big as you please and demanded that I give him the Never Dying Phoenix Pill. When I did not give it to him, he promptly tried to take it from me." "Then what happened?" "I threw him out the front door! He landed head first in that same garbage can sitting out there by the curb at this very moment." Ko Lon paused to laugh. "He levered himself out of the can and marched right back in here for another try. I threw him out the door again, only that time, I threw him much harder. He hit the wall across the street back first and upside down. He slid down the wall and landed on his head. After scrambling to his feet, he noticed my help-wanted poster. He snatched it down off the wall, trooped back in here and informed me that I had just hired the cutest waitress in town!" Ko Lon broke out laughing at the memory. "It was all I could do to keep a straight face at that very moment, but from that day since, he has had a very special place in my heart." "You that impressed by simple, physical courage were?" "Physical courage?" Ko Lon asked sounding shocked. "Tell me Tendo-san, have you ever tried walking a mile or so in a man's shoes?" "You the truth I tell, Honored Elder, difficult not I think," Nabiki said with a bit of a smirk. "This Japan is, Joketsuzoku village not." "Hah! I could arrange for you to be a man for a few days if you should ever want to give it try, Tendo-san," Ko Lon said with an evil glimmer in her eyes, "but try to imagine how it must be for a man to cope with being a woman for a month or more, here in Japan!" "Now that something I appreciate can, Honored Elder," Nabiki said. "Real courage necessary." "For a sixteen-year-old Japanese boy, the stress of becoming a girl is horrendous. Ranma's friends and enemies both came in here for weeks, just to ogle his bust and to have a go at patting that heart-shaped little arse of his." Nabiki began to giggle uncontrollably. Now she suddenly understood why so many of the boys at Furinkan had spent some time wearing casts. Some of the idiots had actually spent a month or more with casts on both limbs! "But he never lost sight of his goal. He tried every day, all day long to take that pill from me." Nabiki began to cackle. "He became so good and so fast, that I feared he might actually succeed. I took the precaution of removing the real medicine from its case and replaced it with a piece of chocolate candy." "And contest at beach ended. He Neko-ken used," Nabiki said, finishing the tale for Ko Lon. "I that fight saw. It magnificent was." "And I was shocked beyond words by his use of the Neko-ken, believe you me! Do you have any idea how many have died or became complete wrecks trying to master that technique? Thousands, Miss Tendo! Thousands! Just enough of them have succeeded to keep more fools trying to learn it. The boy's father should be strung up by his toes for that one." "Is why you relented? You what he through had gone knew?" "Yes. That and the fact that what he was going through by being stuck in his cursed form was only making matters worse. Besides, he did give me a sound thrashing that day. No one had done that in fifty years." "Fatigue campaign, go on not long, Honored Elder. If too long, your business, or Xian Pu be hurt." "We only need to keep it going for another week or so, a fortnight at the most, Tendo-san. I expect to receive word from the Council within that time, then I think you and I and possibly Ranma's mother will be able to engage in some serious negotiations." "Over Ranma's hand?" "That among other things, yes." Nabiki had been about to say that Ranma's nuptials were not on the table, but decided silence was the better part of valor. Ko Lon was showing every sign of wanting to settle the matter without requiring Ranma to marry Xian Pu, or resorting to violence against Akane. That would be worth a considerable price, even if the Joketsuzoku had no legal claim to Ranma under Japanese law. "I had best be going, Nabiki said in Japanese. "It is getting late." "Yes, it is. Do try to arrange a little more time for study, Tendo-san," Ko Lon said in Japanese. "It would never do to have a youngster as bright as yourself held back by poor grades during her last year of schooling." "Thank you for your concern, Elder," Nabiki said in Japanese and sounding more
than a little surprised. "I will do as you suggest." "Good night, Tendo-san." "Good night, Ko Lon." ----------- At five-thirty, Akane woke Ranma up. He had not suffered another bad episode, but the room did feel nicely air conditioned. She went back downstairs so that he could change in private. Just as she reached the first floor, the telephone rang. "Akane?" Doctor Tofu called out. "Yes?" "Would you take that call for me? I am not quite finished here." "Okay!" Akane said, cheerfully and picked up the telephone. "Ono Clinic, may I help you?" "Akane?" "Oh! Hi, Kasumi." "I just wanted to call and let you know that I'll be bringing supper over in a little while." "Okay!" "I'm also bringing some formal clothes for you and Ranma. Which kimono will he want for tomorrow? Do you know?" "Ah, just bring both, Kasumi. He's in the shower right now and I can't ask him." "Okay, that makes sense. See you soon." "Thanks, Kasumi. Bye." "Was it urgent?" Tofu asked just as Akane put down the receiver. "No, sir. It was for me. I really should talk to Nabiki about getting us a cellular telephone, that way our calls won't be mixed up with yours." "It hasn't been bad so far, Akane." "No, but it could be inconvenient," Akane said. "Is Ranma awake yet?" "Yes, he's in the shower." "Bring him to the lab when...Oh, there you are, Ranma. How are you feeling?" "I'm okay, I guess Doc. I had a nightmare this afternoon." "Was it bad?" Tofu asked. "He was making things pretty cold, Doctor Tofu," Akane said. "I had to wake him up." "It was about..." Ranma cut himself off and glanced at Akane, "I can't remember the details all that well." Tofu cocked an eyebrow at Ranma and smiled. "I think I finally found something that will help you with that, Ranma." "Really?" Ranma asked, sounding genuinely pleased. "Come on into the lab and I'll show you how to make it up. You'll be taking this for quite a while, so you may as well learn how to prepare it." "Okay," Ranma said, sounding faintly dubious. "What is it?" "A medicinal tea," Ono said with a grin. "It isn't too complicated so you should be able to make it yourself." Ranma and Akane followed their friend and doctor into his tiny laboratory. "You need two small pots of water and a thermometer," Tofu said, as he began to go over the instructions with Ranma. Akane watched in silence. The tea was really not that complicated. It used four herbs and required that one of them be steeped in water just short of boiling, the other three in water of exactly seventy-degrees centigrade. It seemed like a pretty dull recipe to her. Some cinnamon and cilantro would help it a lot, perhaps a touch of cayenne as well. She would remember to try that the first time she made it for Ranma. "Is this all there is to it?" Ranma asked. "Yes," Tofu told him. "You need two cups when you get up and three an hour before going to bed. Just be sure to put these three herbs in the cooler water and never add anything to the mix, not even sugar. You must remember that this medicine and treat at as such." "Akane?" "Yes, Doctor Tofu?" "I want you to drink one cup of this in the morning and two before going to bed." "Why should I drink it, Doctor Tofu? I'm not sick am I?" "Well, you have been under quite a bit of stress as well, Akane," Tofu said, as he handed Akane a steaming cup. "Oh." "Are you still up for a little pushing hands with me this evening, Ranma?" Tofu asked. "Sure, Doc," Ranma said, matching the doctor's enthusiastic tone of voice. "I'd love to!" "Good! I'll go change while you two drink your tea." "Okay, Doc," Ranma said. Akane gave Ranma a quizzical stare as Tofu left the room. Ranma sipped his tea and made a face. "Well it doesn't taste bad, but it's familiar to me." Akane tried a sip and agreed with him. The tea tasted pretty good, and it was indeed familiar. "Ranma?" "Huh?" "What did Doctor Tofu mean by pushing hands, with him?" "It's Tai Chi Chuan practice." "Tai Chi Chuan?" "Uh, huh." "I didn't know you practiced any of the soft arts." "Well I don't really, except that some our school's advanced techniques have a little Tai Chi Chuan in them. I picked up quite a bit of it while I was in China. Pop hated it." "It figures," Akane said. "Will you teach it to me?" "I think I'll let Tofu do the teaching, then you and I will practice together," Ranma said. "Will that be okay?" "What's the matter Ranma, afraid you don't know it well enough?" "I'm certain I don't know it well enough," Ranma said with a grin. "Besides, you'd love an excuse to practice with Tofu." Akane gave him a mock slap. "Kasumi's bringing supper over later, and our
clothes. I asked her to bring both of your kimono because I didn't know if you would want to go to the Cha No Yu as a girl or a guy." "Yeesh, I hadn't thought about it much," Ranma said. "Think it'd be easier on Ukyo if I went as a girl?" "I don't know, Ranma," Akane said. "It may not matter to Ukyo. She adores your girl half as much as does your guy half." Ranma grimaced, then looked down at his feet. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and looked up with a huge grin on his face. "What is it, Ranma?" Akane asked as her eyes widened with alarm. "I know that look! What are you thinking?" "I'm going to talk Tofu into wearing a blindfold while we push hands."' "Whatever on earth for?" Akane asked, her voice rising with increased alarm. "Kasumi's coming over, right?" Ranma asked. "Do you wanna be close to him when she shows up?" "Well no, not really, but why are you grinning like that?" "I owe the doc a good one." "Ranma-a-a-a!" "Easy, Akane! Easy!" "If you get my sister hurt I'll..." "Hey! Hey! Hey! It's desensifying." "What? Oh, you mean desensitizing." "Yeah!" "Oh, Ranma! You wouldn't!" "And why not? By the time Doc knows, he'll already be exposed. Have you ever pushed hands before?" "No." "The beginning forms are a lot more like dancing than a martial art." "Oh, wait! I just remembered! Kasumi studied Tai Chi Chuan for a while when we were little. So did Dad." "See? It'll work, won't it?" "I think you're right, Ranma. It would be good for both of them." "I'm ready, Ranma!" Tofu called from the hallway. "Go ahead and warm up, Doc!" Ranma called back. "I got another cup of this stuff to drink yet." "Okay, but don't take too long." "I won't!" Ranma called back. "Jeez, Akane. I never had any idea how busy doctors are until we started hanging around here all day. He never wastes a minute." "Me either," Akane said. "Why don't you go on out and ask him to show you the basic steps while I finish this?" "Okay." (How long do you think, Saotome?) (Oh, it'll take Kasumi at least fifteen minutes to get here, more like twenty.) (So we spend ten minutes or so working on this tea, right?) (Yeah. Meanwhile, Akane is keeping Tofu plenty busy. You know how slow she is at picking things up.) (She's getting better at that, you know.) (Yeah, but let's face it, Akane is never gonna be as fast at learning new moves as we are.) (No, I guess you're right, Saotome.) (So what are we going to do, ask him to wear a blindfold while he pushes hands with us so we won't be embarrassed?) (Well, that might work, but you know how Tofu is. He's a born sensei. As soon as he thinks he's found a weak spot he'll start tryin' to help us get rid of it.) (So how are we going to get him into a blindfo...I got it!) (Yeah?) (Sure! We just challenge him. Bet him he can't do it.) (I don't know if that will work with the Doc, Red.) (He's a martial artist, right?) (Yeah, he is that. Okay, we'll give it a try.) (Okay, so let's go, Saotome! We got ten minutes before we get a Kasumi-storm.) Ranma looked out the backdoor and saw Tofu struggling to teach Akane the beginner's version of pushing hands. Just as he expected, Akane was trying too hard. (See? What'd I tell ya, Red?) (She's doing pretty good, all things considered.) (Think so?) (Think you could teach this to Hiroshi or Daisuke?) (Are you kiddin'? Those two klutzes...Okay, okay! You gotta point. She ain't all that clumsy, really.) (The thing is, we are used to working at this stuff six to eight hours a day, six days a week. Akane's never had that privilege.) (Privilege? Is that what you call it?) (Yeah, privilege, Saotome! How many of these other kids got to spend ten years doing almost nothing but study the Art?) (Hey! They got to do a lot of stuff I never got to do, like getting to know a mother.) (So what's your point? Akane didn't have a mother and Uncle Tendo isn't exactly the ideal father.) (In some ways, he's a bargain, Red.) (You're getting away from the point!) (Okay, okay! I'll cut her some slack. She's got it coming, okay?) (Okay.) (Shall we break in, now?) (Yeah, I think we better. I think we have about five minutes left. Work fast, Saotome.) (You work fast! I'm gonna sit this one out.) (That water was really cold, Saotome!) (It's training, okay?) Onna-Ranma stepped out the backdoor. "Pay close attention, Akane," Onna-Ranma said as she walked out the back door, "Tofu-sensei is one of the few people that could do this stuff blindfolded." "What? Blindfolded?" Akane asked, sounding credulous and slightly out of breath, "No way!" (Hey! She's pretty quick on the uptake, too!) (See? I've been telling you underestimate her, Saotome.) "Tell her, Doc!" "Well it has been a
long time, but I'm sure I could, Akane," Tofu said in a low voice. Obviously he did not like showing off. "Think you could do it with Ranma?" Akane asked. "I wouldn't ask you to try it with a beginner like me." "I don't know, Akane," Tofu said, then smiled. "How about it, Ranma? Do you feel lucky this evening?" "Probably not as lucky as you, Doc," Onna-Ranma said, unable to suppress a grin, "but I'll give it a whirl!" Akane produced a large kerchief, seemingly from out of nowhere. (See, she thinks ahead, too! We are really lucky to have her, Saotome!) (Yeah.) "Here, Doc!" Onna-Ranma said, as he skipped over to Akane and Tofu. "You had better let me put that on for you." Akane stuck her tongue out at Onna-Ranma. "Hey! You can experiment on me later, okay? The doc here is too valuable to risk." "What sort of experiment did you have in mind, Ranma?" Akane asked, giving OnnaRanma a smoldering stare. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Tofu chuckled, while Akane gave OnnaRanma an impish smile. (Simply irresistible!) (Yeah, and another cold shower for us, Red.) (Yeah, huh!) (Hey! Will you not think up stuff like that? It's not nice!) (Saotome, you are such an insufferable prude!) (Well somebody's gotta keep us outta trouble!) (Hah! Look who's talking!) "There! All fixed, Doc. Comfy?" "Yes, that will do quite nicely, Ranma," Tofu said with an evil grin. "Are you ready?" "Ikuzo, Isha!" Ranma said, in a hearty voice. ["Let's go, Healer!"] "Hai, Shatei!" Tofu answered ["Okay, little brother!"], and the non-contest of pushing hands began. Tai Chi Chuan, translated from the Chinese can be taken to mean either the "Supreme Spirit Force" or "Supreme Ultimate Fist." In the end, they mean the same thing. It is a study in the art of recognizing, using, mastering and even neutralizing ki. The point of the "Pushing Hands" is not so much to have a contest, as it is to learn about one's own ki and how it interacts with that of other people. Think of it as a tennis match where no score is kept and where neither participant has the least interest in scoring. The idea is to keep the ball in constant transit over the net, volley after volley after volley, testing one's "aite" or "counterpart" with each return, never quite pushing him or her beyond the limits of their ability to respond, but forcing them to improve. This is pushing hands. One learns to listen for, to sense, the aite's ki and to respond to it. In Tofu Ono, Ranma Saotome found an almost perfect teacher. In Ranma Saotome, Tofu Ono found the ultimate student. The very air around them began to crackle shortly after they began. Their focus and concentration upon one another became total in mere seconds. "Oh, my!" Kasumi said to Akane. "That is so beautiful!" "Konnichi wa, Onee-san," Akane said to her sister. "Let me give you a hand with that." Kasumi did not respond. The whole of her attention was focused upon Tofu and Ranma. "Kasumi?" Akane asked, giving the large basket Kasumi was holding a gentle tug. "Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, Akane." "Let's take this inside," Akane said, giving her sister a smile. "Do you remember how to push hands?" "I'm not sure, Akane-chan!" Kasumi said as they entered the clinic. "It has been a long time, almost five years now." "Let's take this upstairs," Akane said. "Then I'll get Ranma to let you have a turn at pushing hands with Doctor Tofu." "Akane," Kasumi said, her voice grave, "are you sure that is wise?" "Don't worry, Kasumi. Ranma and I have it figured out. Did you notice that Doctor Tofu is wearing a blindfold?" "Oh, my!" Once the two sisters came back downstairs, Akane picked up a tiny pebble and threw it at Onna-Ranma. It hit him between the shoulder blades. "Doc?" Onna-Ranma asked, then panted for breath. "Yes, Ranma?" Tofu was a bit short on breath himself. "I think Akane wants another turn. Do you mind?" "Oh, not at all, if you need a rest." (I can't believe he said that!) (Oh, relax, Saotome! He's just trying to be polite.) "I really could use a break, Doc." "Okay, Ranma," Tofu said with a smile. "We'll have to do this for a few days and get your endurance up." (Grrrr!) (Down, boy! Down!) "Just wait here, Doc. I'll bring her to ya." Onna-Ranma walked hurriedly over to Kasumi and took her by the hand, while motioning for Akane to follow them with his head. "Here she is, Doc. Feel her hands?" "Yes, I'm fine, Ranma. Are you ready, Akane?" "Yes, Sensei," Akane answered before Kasumi could say anything. The results were nothing short of spectacular. Kasumi it seemed, remembered her old lessons well, and then of course, there was the little matter of love to consider.
"My, Akane!" Tofu exclaimed. "You have improved considerably." Kasumi did something Ranma had never heard her do very much, she giggled. The air around Kasumi and Tofu turned blue, then red, then gold. "Maaa!" Akane said, in a reverent tone. "O-o-oh!" Onna-Ranma said in the most manly way he could. "They are so beautiful together, Ranma!" "Yeah, but the doc has had one hell of a workout today," Onna-Ranma observed dryly. "He's gonna be sore as the dickens in the morning." "Do you think he's figured it out by now?" "Oh, yeah." "He sure seems to be holding up well, if he has." "It's the technique, Akane," Onna-Ranma said. "It really helps you stay in focus." "Kasumi's pretty good, isn't she?" "With a little practice, she's going to be one of the greats," Onna-Ranma said in sober tones. "Tai Chi Chuan suits her to a tee." "Will you practice with me some more tonight, Ranma?" "Sure, right after we eat. I'm starving." "You and your stomach!" "Hey! I can't help it! I'm a growing boy!" Onna-Ranma said, gently thumping his ample bosom. Akane made no reply, other than to snort and give him a mock slap. Ranma scooped her up and gave her a quick kiss. Before she could react, he had already set her back on her feet. "Baka!" "Yeah, but I'm your baka, right?" "Experiments later," Akane said with a clearly ominous threat in her voice. "Ooh, hoo! I'm _so_ scared!" "You will be, boy!" Akane said as she gave him a menacing stare and tried to wrinkle her face as much as possible. "You _will_ be!" "Oh, my! That was marvelous, Doctor Tofu!" Kasumi said, causing both Ranma and Akane to look the older couple's way. "Thank you so much!" "Ah...It was my...ah...my...ah...my pleasure, Kasumi- san," Tofu was stammering, but maintaining an even strain. He began struggling with the blindfold, but was having difficulty in removing it. This did not surprise Ranma. The Anything Goes School was very eclectic, and one of the martial arts little known outside Japan, but is in fact something of a Japanese specialty, is concerned with tying people up, gagging them and blindfolding them. Tofu would never remove the kerchief without help. Onna-Ranma watched and smirked. "Hang in there, Doc!" Onna-Ranma called out. "You've been doin' great so far!" Tofu visibly flinched. (Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they, Saotome?) (Yeah! And they're fun to watch, too!) "Here, let me help you," Kasumi said to the badly befuddled Tofu. He stopped struggling and let Kasumi remove the blindfold. Onna-Ranma and Akane sat and stared at them while Kasumi and Tofu stared into each other's eyes. Onna- Ranma suddenly felt a crushing pain in his right arm. It was Akane, who in her excitement had closed her powerful fingers around his forearm. Only a large, hydraulic press could match Akane psi for psi. "Do you think they'll kiss, Ranma?" Akane asked, in an excited whisper. "I think they already have, Akane," Ranma answered in normal tones. Whispering, in his opinion would have been wasted effort on Tofu and Kasumi. "I...what do you mean?" "Hell! Look at 'em and tell me what you see." "Oh, I guess maybe you're right in a way." "I know I'm right," Onna-Ranma said with his usual cockiness. "Let's go eat." "We aren't going to wait for them?" "I don't think they are all that interested in food at the moment, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a grin. "'Sides, looks to me like they could use a little privacy." Akane's stomach rumbled. "I suppose you're right," Akane said, "but it seems awfully rude." "Believe me, Akane," Onna-Ranma said, as he took Akane by the hand, "they won't mind it a bit and I am starving." ----------- Tofu Ono had realized right away that it was not Akane who had taken Ranma's place. This girl was not nearly as powerful as Ranma, but her technique was much more refined and subtle. After a few moves, he realized that it was Kasumi Tendo with whom he was exercising. The gentle sweetness of her ki was unmistakable. He felt his control begin to slip, then much to his surprise, Kasumi invited the rising tide of confusion into emptiness and he felt it die away even as it began. Kasumi then forced him to exercise in earnest, sending forth powerful streams of ki which forced him to "invite them to emptiness," and counter them with measures of his own. Soon, she began to find his weak spots and he had to work harder. He sought out hers, forcing her to work harder, to seek out answers to the problems he presented her. He would have loved for their play to last forever, but he had already been exercising for a while and neither he, nor Kasumi were up to more. It did not matter. He knew now that there would many
tomorrows for the two of them. Struggling with the damned blindfold was embarrassing, and Ranma's urging him to "hang in there" did not help the problem at all. Tofu grinned to himself despite his plight. He had to admit that he had this one coming. Young Saotome owed him one, but he had not expected anything quite so massive as this. How did Ranma tie this thing on anyway? He wondered as he continued struggling with the kerchief. I would never thought it possible to make blindfold difficult to remove! Finally, Kasumi removed it for him and he breathed a sigh of relief, only to find himself holding his breath. He and Kasumi were standing almost nose to nose and Tofu suddenly found himself swimming in the gentle depths of Kasumi's soul. For Tofu Ono, the rest of the universe ceased to exist. There was only Kasumi and nothing else. "I brought over a little something for everyone to eat," Kasumi said in a very quiet voice. "Are you hungry, Doctor Tofu?" There are times when there is simply too much for a man to say. Too many words required. Too many complexities in need of communication and those times invariably come at the wrong moment. "Why don't I treat you to something you did not have to cook, for a change?" "Oh, Doctor Tofu, I'm not really dressed to..." "Well, the place I had in mind won't care, Kasumi- san," Tofu said. "The vegetables are always fresh and vine ripened. The kitchen is as spotless as your own and the chef is superb." "That sounds wonderful but..." "And it's quiet enough that we can talk, Kasumi-san," Tofu said, beginning to feel desperate, "and I desperately need to talk with you." Kasumi smiled and it was as though the gloom of late twilight had been banished by the noon-day sun for Tofu Ono. "Then let's go, Kasumi said. "Can you see well enough to find the way?" "Yes," Tofu said, "I see much better with my glasses than without, but I can get by without them for most things." "Where are you glasses, anyway?" "I think Ranma still has them," he said, "but I have another pair where we are going." "Oh!" Kasumi said, sounding somewhat surprised, "we are going to your apartment?" "It's a condominium, actually," Tofu answered. "They let me install several greenhouses on the roof for my medicinal gardens." "Oh, I would love to see them!" Kasumi said cheerfully. "Will you show them to me?' "Of course, dear...I mean, Kasumi-san," Tofu said. "Would you remind me to call Aunt Nodoka once we arrive?" Kasumi asked. "I don't want to worry her." They walked off into the rapidly falling night, arm in arm. ----------- "Tadaimaa!" Nabiki called out as she entered the front door of Tendoke. Nodoka, despite her intentions to sleep, had been up for almost an hour. "Konnichi-wa, Nabiki-chan," Nodoka answered, looking Nabiki over. "Oh my dear! You look worn completely out." "It has been a long day, Oba-san," Nabiki said tiredly, "and I still have tons of studying to do." "I kept some supper for you," Nodoka said. "Do you want it now, or would you prefer to bathe first?" "The furo sounds like the next stop for me, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said, then gave the older woman a smile. "Oh, good!" Nodoka said. "I'll join you and we can talk." "Oh...uh..all right," Nabiki said. I haven't bathed in a private bath with another person since I was seven! Nabiki thought to herself. Nodoka is really old-fashioned! Then another thought ran across her mind. Don't kid yourself, Nabiki, you fool! You left your ledger out this morning. Now she wants to know about Ranma. "Your things are already laid out in the bath, dear," Nodoka said with a smile, as she relieved Nabiki of her books. "Why don't you get started and I'll join you?" "Thank you, Aunt Nodoka!" Nabiki said, trying to sound cheerfully grateful. Geez! She must not have nearly enough to do during the day. I wonder what she did with herself all those years Ranma and Shit-daddy were on their training trip? A few moments later Nabiki rediscovered how nice it was to have someone scrub your back for you, even if you did have to help them out in return. It felt good. The furo was even better. The hot water very quickly soaked away the tension in her neck and shoulders. Nodoka had joined her, of course, but Nabiki found it not all that unpleasant. Nodoka could be good company when she wanted to be. They talked about school and what Nabiki was planning for the future and much to Nabiki's surprise, Nodoka was very supportive. "The time for a woman to remain a simple housewife has come and gone, Nabiki-chan," she said. "Work hard and do well in college. Then you can afford to pick a man just for his looks!"
They both laughed over that idea, even though Nabiki found it a bit too close to the truth for comfort. "So tell me. Has Genma done anything to help since he and Ranma have been here?" "You mean around the house, or with the money?" Nabiki asked. "Either or both," Nodoka said, sounding grim. "Well, he has gone out and gotten a part time job a few times," Nabiki said. "And he's been real good about helping out with the heavy repair work that has been needed around here." "But did he help out with the finances, Nabiki-chan?" "Not much," Nabiki said. "Ranma has done most of that." "But how?" Nodoka asked. "Oh, that has been very easy," Nabiki said. "He poses for me and I sell photographs of him at school." "Nani?" Nodoka's voice took on a cold edge. "Sure!" Nabiki said, with a huge smile she did not really feel like wearing. "You should see the girls drooling over him all the time. I never have a problem selling photographs of him." "Oh, my!" Nodoka said, with a giggle. "I would never have thought to try that! Girls in my day would never do such thing--not that we didn't want to, of course." Nabiki heaved a great sigh of relief. "The pictures were not too terribly naughty were they?" "Just enough to make their tongues hang out, but not enough to make them cover their faces," Nabiki said, with a sly smile. "With Ranma's looks, that is all that has ever been required." "Oh! I am _so_ proud of him!" Nodoka said, squealing like a teeny-bopper at a rock concert. "My manly son is a beefcake!" Nabiki felt her face begin to redden despite her best efforts to prevent it. "I think I have had enough of this hot water, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said, "and I really should be getting on with my studies." "Of course, dear!" Nodoka said, with hearty cheer in her voice. "If you don't mind, I think I will soak for a bit longer." Nabiki was careful to get out of the furo and turn her back before rolling her eyes towards the heavens and breathing a silent prayer of thanks to the kami. In a way, it made her feel a little shabby. Nodoka was glowing over her "manly" son's exploits and vicarious conquests, but without knowing the whole truth. At least it's mostly true, Nabiki thought. Several of the girls really do buy a lot of the beefcake stuff, especially Kodachi and Ukyo, but that has not been where the serious money came from. The less Nodoka knows about this, the better for Ranma and me alike. May the kami help us if she ever discovers the whole truth! Otherwise, there will be three for seppuku instead of two. I'll make Shit-daddy go first, Nabiki swore silently to the gods. I will volunteer to be his second! ----------- "Ranma?" "Mmm?" OnnaRanma noised around a mouth full of chicken teriyaki. "Maybe we should go check on them." "No way!" "Why not?" "Because I'm still young and I want to go on living for a while." "I can't believe my sister Kasumi just ran off with a...with a..." "Doctor?" "A man!" "What have you got against Kasumi, Akane?" "I don't have anything against Kasumi! It's just that I..." "Yes?" "Oh, Ranma!" Akane said, covering her face with her hands. "I'm so happy for her!" Onna-Ranma rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, then took another bite of chicken. "But it's so hard for me to accept!" "Are you through eating, Akane?" "Yes!" Akane said, looking up so that she could glare at Onna-Ranma. "I mean, no!" "Well, then, eat! You haven't got all night. You need to get some sleep so you can study tomorrow. I need to study and we both want to train and snuggle, right?" "We could just snuggle." "Training first!" "Meanie!" "Hmph!" Onna-Ranma snorted. "Be glad you aren't trainin' with my old man!" "I'll pass on the pit full of hungry cats, thank you very much!" "Oh, that was one of the easier parts of my training," Onna-Ranma said in a casual tone of voice. "You don't know the half of it." Akane gave Onna-Ranma a disbelieving stare. Onna-Ranma answered with a cold stare of his own. "What? You don't believe me?" "I'm not sure I can." "Hmph! Eat!" "What could possibly have been worse?" "You don't want to know." "Yes, I do." "The swimming lessons for starters." Akane gulped. "Swimming lessons?" "See? I told you. You don't want to know." "You aren't planning to teach me the same way are you?" "Hell, no! Now, eat!" "Why are you so worried about me eating?" "Because you lost so goddamned much weight in China, that's why!" Onna-Ranma shouted. He clenched his fists and began to shake. "You really are worried, aren't you?" "Shouldn't I be?" Onna-Ranma asked, fighting to regain some small measure of control over his voice. Akane got up and walked around the table so that she could sit closer to her fiance. "Please
don't worry so much about me, Ranma." "I can't help it you know," Onna-Ranma said, as he began to shake again. "Do ya think I feel good about all the crap that's happened to you since I came here?" Onna-Ranma suddenly found himself in Akane's lap. She cuddled his head to her shoulder and rocked him as though she were comforting a baby. Onna-Ranma decided it best to just relax and go with the flow. Some things, it did not pay to fight. "My life was pretty strange before you got here, you know." "Yeah, but it wasn't nothin' you couldn't handle on your own," Onna-Ranma said, then sniffled. Much to his shock and surprise, he was beginning to cry. He was crying like a girl! (Just relax and let her comfort us, Saotome.) (And where in hell were you when I needed ya?) (Hey! You didn't need me. You were doing just fine.) (Whaddaya mean just fine? I lost control!) (So? Sometimes you have to put love ahead of work.) (Yeah?) (Yeah! So let's just snuggle a while, then we'll coax her into eating something.) (You're worried about her too, huh?) (Geez, Saotome! We're the same person, living in the same head. I see the same things you do. We got reason to be worried.) (Okay, just so long as I'm not goin' off the deep end or nothin'.) (We're doing okay, mostly.) Onna-Ranma nuzzled Akane's neck, then stroked her cheek with his left hand. "I'm sorry I yelled, Akane." "That's okay, Ranma," Akane said, choking back a little emotion of her own. "I know you did it because you love me." "I shouldn't have yelled." Akane kissed him on the lips and Onna-Ranma felt his body begin to respond. (Yo! Red!) (Yeah, I know! We got other stuff to do and this is dangerous. See if you can get her to eat something, Saotome.) Onna-Ranma reached over to the table with his right hand and picked up a piece of Kasumi's excellent chicken. "Ah-ah-ah!" OnnaRanma said. Akane obliged him by opening her mouth. He placed the piece of chicken on her tongue. Akane closed her mouth and began to chew. "Mmm!" Akane noised around the chicken. "See? It's good, isn't it?" "Mm, hm." "You been just pickin' at your food for weeks." "Have not...gurk!" Onna-Ranma had taken the opportunity to feed Akane some rice. "Mm not a goose, Ranma!" "Eat!" Akane tickled him. They carried on this way for nearly an hour before Onna-Ranma decided that Akane had finally eaten an adequate meal. "You ready to get in a little more exercise?" "On a full stomach?" "Hey, pushin' hands ain't like regular trainin', now is it?" "What about all this food?" "Leave it out," Onna-Ranma said as they went down the stairs. "We're gonna have a short little workout. Then you'll shower and go to bed and I'll have a big snack later." It dawned on Akane as they stepped outside that Ranma had been getting by on just two meals a day. "Here you are fussing at me for not eating and you've only been eating two meals a day." "Naw, I almost always find some leftovers in the refrigerator." "Not for the last two days, you haven't!" "It's no big deal for me Akane," Onna-Ranma said. "I didn't have any trouble eating the food in China, remember?" Food had been hard to come by, thanks to their shortage of funds and they had been forced to accept what they could beg, borrow or scavange. Game is not plentiful throughout much of China. "How could you eat that stuff?" "Hey! Live on the road with my old man for ten years and you'll learn to eat anything that doesn't bite you first." "Even my cooking?" "I said, anything that doesn't bite you first!" Akane gave him a mock slap. "We'll get you past your cooking problem this summer," Onna-Ranma said, "I promise." "Oh, really, Sensei?" Akane asked, looking at him with a cocked eyebrow. "How are you planning on doing that?" "I finally figgered out what your problem with cooking is, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a happy, evil grin. "That means we are halfway to a cure." Akane stared at him suspiciously. "No! You aren't going to like it!" Onna-Ranma said, still grinning. "But you'll learn to cook." "Hmmph! We'll see!" "Yes, we will," Onna-Ranma said. "Now remember! Tai Chi Chuan is about using your ki, not your strength, okay?" "Okay." They worked for about half an hour in the simpler, standing form of pushing hands, then Onna-Ranma went inside and got some hot water so that Akane would have the chance to work with someone significantly larger than herself. Ranma was pleased with her progress, for even though she was slow in picking up the technique, she did have very powerful ki. This could be both a blessing and a curse. Powerful ki is useful, but it is also easily read by another adept. Akane would have to work hard on the problems of control. He sent her to
the shower after another half-hour of exercise. Much to his pleasure and embarrassment, she insisted that he bathe with her in his girl form. He got out of the shower first and made the special tea she was supposed drink in the lab and brought it up for her. After she drank it, Onna-Ranma cuddled up to her back and purred, hoping it would help Akane sleep, but she wanted to talk. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" "What do you think will happen at the Cha No Yu, tomorrow?" "I think Uchan is going to apologize to you for what happened at the wedding." "You think that's all?" "Mmm, probably." "But that won't really settle anything, will it?" "Hey! As far as I'm concerned, everything got settled at Jusendo, Akane." "I know that!" Akane said, sounding slightly irritated. "But we can't just ignore Ukyo, now can we?" Onna-Ranma took a deep breath, then sighed. "Ukyo may have something in mind, Akane. I'm hopin' she'll bring it up tomorrow." "You aren't planning on accepting whatever she has in mind, are you?" "Maybe, it depends on what you and Mom think about it." "That's all I needed to know, Ranma," Akane said and patted him on the thigh. "I can sleep now." Onna-Ranma got up and went to the shower to douse himself with hot water. (Time to study, big boy!) (Yeah, okay! But let's go downstairs. I'm not comfortable up here for some reason.) (Yeah, I know what you mean. Where do you think we ought to go?) (I don't know. Let's look around until we see the right spot.) (Okay.) He hunted around the first floor for several minutes until finally settling on the closet-like space where Tofu kept his copy machine and fax. (Why here, Saotome?) (Beats me, Red. It just feels right to me.) (It feels right to me too, but I'm damned if I can understand why.) (Put the chair here?) (That looks like the place to me, Saotome.) (Good! You study! I'm gonna get some sleep.) (You are bound and determined to grow up ignorant, aren't you?) (Hey! I can't help but know what you do.) (That's true. Mind if I wake you up if I find anything interesting?) (What are we studying?) (Chemistry.) (Bleah!) (Oh, go to sleep!) (G'night.) (Good night, Saotome.) The light in the room dimmed slightly shortly after Ranma began to read, then the dark aura which had formed around his body reached out with a pair tentacles. They wavered and twisted around until they found their way behind the copier. There, they began to caress the two-hundred, twenty-volt socket in the wall. Ranma was so absorbed by what he was reading that he failed to notice what was going on around him. The sun would be well up on the horizon before he moved again. ----------- Nabiki took a break from her studies shortly before ten and went downstairs to find a snack. Rather than go back upstairs, she decided to turn on the television and catch the evening news. One of her minions had left her a voice-mail suggesting she do so. She was disappointed at first. It was the usual folderol. The Americans were deploying troops in yet another obscure little country on yet another "peacekeeping" mission. Several of Japan's own, arch- conservatives berated the populace because Japan wasn't "doing her fair share to establish world peace." An environmentalist group was vociferously alarmed about the habitat loss of _musca domestica_ or some other such obscure creature. There was yet another banking scandal and then there was the hideous traffic jam caused by some immigrant girl on a bicycle. "What?" Nabiki shrieked loud enough to get her father's attention. "What's wrong, Nabiki?" "Look!" Sure enough, there was Xian Pu tearing along behind a milk truck on the west bound expressway. "Isn't that Xian Pu?" Soun asked. Nabiki nodded her head and turned up the volume. {{"...The truck and cyclist were traveling at a little over one-hundred, fifty kilometers per hour when the police caught up to them. This was the result, captured on tape by an amateur photographer who just happened to have her video camera on hand. This clip is quite graphic and sensitive viewers may wish to avoid watching it...}} Soun and Nabiki watched as an unmarked police car pulled up alongside Xian Pu. The footage was grainy and the camera unsteady, but they could make out the officer on the passenger side of the cruiser, motioning for Xian Pu to pull over. Xian Pu looked over at the police car, then reached out and touched it lightly with the index finger of her right hand. Rich, white smoke immediately streamed out of the tail pipe of the police car, cutting visibility in the cameraman's car to zero. The driver of the cameraman's car instinctively let off the gas, causing the cameraman to lurch forward and then to
the right as he changed lanes in order to avoid the rapidly decelerating police car. The smoke cleared, as the cameraman panned right, allowing the camera to capture a glimpse of the cop on the passenger side of the car. It was a truly hideous sight to behold. "Oh, God!" Soun cried out. "E-e-ew! The poor guy looks like something out of a Picasso!" Nabiki said. "More like a Dali," Soun said, as he gulped his supper back down. The cameraman stayed on the cruiser. Soun and Nabiki watched in horror as the white smoke trailing from it suddenly turned blueblack and the car began to spin. By now it was well behind the cameraman's car. The drivers leading the traffic behind them and the police cruiser had begun to initiate panic stops. The cameraman kept filming through the back windshield of her car as the police car began to spin. After going through two complete turns, all four tires on the cruiser burst. These were not, Nabiki noted, ordinary blowouts. Bright orange flames gouted from each tire as it ruptured, adding a huge cloud of black, dusty smoke to the oily, blue-black smoke already streaming from the cruiser's exhaust pipe. The sudden loss of its tires did nothing to improve matters for the police car. It kept spinning towards the median, trailing sparks beneath the heavy smoke as its newly bared rims skittered across the concrete roadbed, until it slammed nose first into the guardrail. It then began to spin back towards the shoulder, albeit with much less speed, until the passenger side of the cruiser made hard contact with the guardrail on the shoulder side of the expressway. There it finally came to rest, smoke curling up around it as though it were about to burst into flames. The interior of the car was filled with a fine, white mist. The driver of the cameraman's car whipped off onto the shoulder of the road and stopped. Soun and Nabiki watched in horrified fascination as the camera lurched backwards. The driver of the camera car had slammed it into reverse began backing towards the smoking police car. He stopped several meters short of the wreck. The driver of the cameraman's car got out first, not being encumbered by a camera, then sprinted towards the wreck. The cameraman lost the picture briefly as she got out of her car, then the picture bobbed violently as she too sprinted towards the smoldering cruiser. "I'll bet that's her husband," Nabiki said. "Seems likely," Soun replied, with a sage nod of his head. Nabiki smiled to herself. Her father's sagely nods never failed to amuse her. Just as the driver of the cameraman's car reached for the handle of the driver's side door of the cruiser, the camera's tinny little microphone picked up a loud bang. The police car immediately swelled up like a balloon as its windows and windshields turned into clouds of fast moving, gravel-sized fragments of tempered glass. The driver of the cameraman's car turned his face towards the camera, raising his arms in an effort to ward off the thousands of tiny fragments now whistling through the air around him. The air eructing from within the cruiser was traveling at high speed as well, for it blew the man's hair back and ruffled his clothing as though he were caught out in a short-lived typhoon. "Damn!" Soun and Nabiki chorused. The driver of the cameraman's car all but turned green as he grasped his nose with a thumb and forefinger. This was not enough apparently, because he then bent over double and vomited. "Yi-e-e-ch!" Soun and Nabiki chorused as both wrinkled their noses in disgust. The cameraman's driver again attempted to open the driver side door of the cruiser, but became too weak. He collapsed to his knees and again retched. "There must be a terrible odor coming from the car, "Soun said. Nabiki nodded her head in agreement. The camera lurched forward as its operator slowed her approach towards the cruiser and killed her momentum. Her driver forced himself erect, then still holding his nose with a thumb and forefinger, he jerked at the door handle. The driver's door creaked open to reveal yet another horrible sight. The steering wheel and steering column were both gone. The speedometer and other panel gauges had popped out of the dash and were dangling by their wires above a foul looking, brown slime filling the floorboards. In their places was the badly battered and bleeding face of Officer Tetsuro Shirikawa. The camera's built-in microphone, barely useful though it was, easily picked up his screams. "Help me! He-e-e-l-p, me-e-e-e! Help, me-e-e-e!" Shirikawa screamed. This was obviously more than the cameraman could take because millions of viewers were suddenly treated to a
fascinating view of the pavement being painted with her partially digested lunch. "G-i-i-r-o-o-ss!" Nabki cried out, choking back on a bit of her own gore. "Argh," Soun said, as his own complexion turned slightly cyanic. "That was dreadful." {{"As you can see from these pictures, Officer Shirikawa's entire body somehow became wedged up behind the dashboard during the crash. His partner, Officer Norio Ohga, was not found for almost two hours. A search for his body was being conducted in the area, when someone thought to look in the police vehicle's trunk. He was found there. He had somehow been crammed into the spare tire well. This is amazing, given that Officer Ohga is one-hundred, seventy-two centimeters tall and weighs a little over eighty-two kilograms. Thankfully, both officers are reported to be in stable condition at the Kasuga Hospital. Their injuries are described as being slight. Lieutenant Hashigawa, their supervising officer, thinks that both men will be able to report for duty by noon tomorrow."}} "I can't believe they expect those poor guys to report in tomorrow!" Nabiki said, sounding outraged. "A policeman's life is fraught with peril, Nabiki- chan," Soun said pompously, "It is only natural to expect them to report for duty if they are able." "Daddy! That is such...such...macho bullshit!" Soun tried to smother a chuckle at his daughter's response and almost succeeded. {{As all of you can see from the footage just shown, the police car seems to have suffered from a very peculiar mechanical disorder, or perhaps even several such disorders. We have had several callers suggest that the delivery girl used a powerful, martial arts technique to cause this accident.}} Nabiki suddenly found herself holding her breath. She glanced over at her father and was amazed to see him grinning. "Don't worry, Nabiki," Soun said. "They are going to blame it all on the car, or leave the question dangling until everyone forgets about it." "How can you be so sure?" "I've been around a lot longer than you have," Soun said. {{"To examine this issue, we have invited a panel of experts in to discuss it with us. Hopefully, one or more of them will be able to shed a little light on this mysterious matter."}} A bald headed, pompous little man wearing black gi, and sporting a white, handlebar moustache strutted onto the set and took a seat. Soun snorted in disgust as soon as the man appeared. {{"Here we have Sensei Inoue, now teaching judo, aikido, kendo, tae kwan do, and aerobic dance at Tokyo University as part of their Adult Education Program."}} {{"Thank you for coming, Sensei."}} {{"I am honored to be here," the cocky little man said with a curt bow.}} Soun snorted even louder, "You should feel honored, you know-nothing little..." The last of Soun's commentary was unintelligible to Nabiki, but she could easily infer two things. Firstly, her father did not like this man. Secondly, the man was not really much of a martial artist, at least not by her father's standards. {{"Also here with us tonight, is Mr. Akira Takamatsu, Chief of Forensic Engineering for Tomobiki Motors. Welcome to our news program, Takamatus-san!"}} {{"Thank you for inviting me," the middle-aged engineer said, as he took a seat next to Inoue.}} {{"And finally, Doctor Horatio Yeager, Professor of History and Hoplology at Tokyo University. Hoplology is the study of combat and how humans adapt to combat conditions."}} {{"Welcome, Doctor. We are very happy that you could visit with us and our viewers this evening."}} {{"It is all my pleasure," the man said. He bowed, then took a seat next to Takamatsu.}} Yeager was a very large man in his late middle-age with iron-grey hair and thick glasses. Nabiki was fairly sure from looking at him that he was blind in his left eye. He was overweight and out of shape. Soun's reaction to Yeager's presence was markedly different from the way he reacted to Inoue. Tears began running down his cheeks, even as he made his face as hard as stone. "Do you know him as well, Daddy?" "Yes," Soun said, "He and Genma and I worked together from time to time." "Oh, really?" Nabiki asked. "When?" "Later, Nabiki-chan," Soun said. "Let's see how this goes. It might actually prove interesting with Yeager-san on the panel. Nabiki turned her attention back to the television set with renewed interest. {{"Sensei, with your having seen the tape just shown earlier this evening, is there any possibility that a martial arts technique of some kind wrecked the police car?"}} {{"None whatsoever," the little man said arrogantly. "Anyone who
believes that is just buying into a lot of foolishness and superstition about the use of ki, that's all."}} {{"So you think this spectacular crash was the result of a mechanical failure or a series of failures?"}} {{"What else could it possibly have been?" Inoue asked, then stared smugly at the camera.}} {{"Takamatsu-san, what do you think the cause may have been?"}} {{"We have yet to prove an exact cause, but we suspect some type of sabotage. We think it will be only a matter of time before we will be able to prove this."}} {{"What makes you think it must have been the result of sabotage?"}} {{"Well, the white smoke which poured out of the car when this incident began was the result of transmission fluid somehow finding its way into the fuel system. The oily, bluish-colored smoke was the result of engine lubricants being mixed into the fuel."}} {{"Won't an engine suddenly smoke like that without warning if it has begun to fail?"}} {{"Yes, but in this case, there is nothing wrong with the pistons or oil rings. Even the compression rings are in good shape, with only nominal wear. We checked the valve stem seals and everything. The only way this engine could have produced this particular kind of smoke, is by having engine lubricant mixed in with the fuel."}} {{"What about the spectacular failure of the tires, Takamatsu-san? That seemed very unusual."}} {{"It was indeed, a most unusual failure with a very unusual cause. The tires had gasoline vapor in them."}} {{"GASOLINE VAPOR!"}} The camera's cut over to the News-anchor, who did an excellent job of looking both shocked and outraged. {{"Yes!" Takamatsu confirmed. Gasoline vapor! There is no way for that to have happened on accident."}} {{"What do you make of all this, Doctor Yeager? Could it have been sabotage?" The news-anchor asked.}} Yeager gave the cameras a huge grin before answering. {{"I think it is too early to rule anything in or out at this point. In my opinion, we would do well to wait until the engineering reports are complete."}} {{"So you do not rule any of these possibilities out?"}} {{"It would be bad scientific practice to do so at this point in the investigation. Clearly, this was a very odd sort of accident, but it may well turn out to have a perfectly mundane cause."}} {{"How do you think the officers in that car reacted to the situation they found themselves in this afternoon?"}} {{"Oh, I'd say they reacted in a very human way, given what the man on the tape did after the windows blew out. I just imagine the smell was atrocious."}} {{"I see. Well, that's all the time we have tonight. Thank you all for coming, gentlemen..."}} "Good old, Yeagersan!" Soun said with a laugh, "He's still as crafty as ever!" "So where did you meet this Professor Yeager, Daddy?" "Well, it was a very long time ago. He was with US Naval intelligence in those days. They hired us to do one or two odd jobs for them and he was our contact." "Us?" "Ah, well...me and Genma and the Master." "Oh, really? What did you guys do? Steal panties from the Russian Embassy?" "No! Well, we only stole panties one time and then it was from the North Koreans, not the Russians." "You guys pilfered panties from the North Korean Embassy?" "The ambassadorial residence, actually," Soun said, as he began to redden around ears and nose. "I am not at liberty to discuss the details, of course." "I'll just bet you're not," Nabiki said with a grin on her face and tears of suppressed laughter in her eyes. "Was the mission successful?" "Well, yes," Soun said, looking even more embarrassed, "even though it didn't go quite as smoothly as we had planned." "How long before we'll be able read about this in your memoirs, Daddy?" Nabiki asked, struggling mightily to prevent an outbreak of hysterics. "Oh, in a decade or two, I suppose." "Ooh, I never realized that my Dad was a double-oh- seven type." "I wasn't actually," Soun said, then cleared his throat. "Genma did all the flashy stuff while the Master and I skulked around in the shadows." "Uncle Genma?" "Oh, he was quite the rake in his younger days, Nabiki." This was too much. Nabiki broke out into peals of laughter. Soun stared at his daughter for a moment, then chuckled a bit himself. "He did look ridiculous a time or two." "A-a-a-ah!" Nabiki cried out between peals. "I can just imagine!" Soun smiled and stared at the ceiling. Seeing Yeager had obviously brought back many memories. "There is something I'd like ask that cannot possibly be classified, Daddy." "Oh? What's that Nabiki?" "Is there some ancient, historical connection between the Tendo Clan and the Joketsuzoku?" "Not that I know about, Nabi..." Soun fell silent in mid-
sentence, then thought a long time before continuing his answer. "No, I don't think so. There are some old legends, but I don't think there is any real significance to them." Soun gave forth a mighty yawn, "Boy, I'm really sleepy! I think I'll go to bed now." Nabiki recognized her father's dodge almost immediately, but knew better than to try to press him at that very moment. She would have to be patient. Her father was not given to lying, but could and would very often make creative use of the truth, or part of the truth. He was obviously going to bed because he did not want to discuss those old legends, but that was very unusual for him. Soun Tendo was a great raconteur and loved nothing better than telling a tall tale. She stared after him as he shuffled down the hall. Whether there was a connection between Tendo-ke and the Joketsuzoku or not, there was obviously something about the family legends her father did not want to discuss. "I guess tomorrow I'll go buy a few bottles of saki and get him started talking after supper," Nabiki muttered to herself. "Daddy can't keep a secret from me to save his life." Nabiki studied until nearly eleven, then went tiredly to bed. Somewhere around two in the morning she began to dream about the accident she had seen on television. She woke up screaming when she realized that she knew the contorted face that was pressed out flat against the window of the police car. It was the guy that had placed the two-hundred thousand yen bet earlier that morning. She sat bolt upright in the bed and shivered. "Nabiki Onee-chan? Are you all right?" Kasumi asked softly from Nabiki's now open door. "Yeah, Sis. I'm okay. It was just a nightmare." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure, Sis. Sorry to wake you up." "Oh, you didn't wake me." "What time did you come in?" Nabiki asked, as her mind began to put certain other events together. "About twenty-minutes ago." "You guys shouldn't be keeping Ranma and Akane up, like this! They both have a lot of studying to do!" "Oh, don't worry, Nabiki," Kasumi said, cheerfully. "We didn't." Nabiki stared at Kasumi. Her older sister seemed to have a glow about her. "I'll just go get a bath now," Kasumi said with an angelic smile wreathing her face. "Ah...okay, Sis," Nabiki said, still puzzling over what she was seeing. Kasumi close the door and the room darkened. Nabiki lay back down and had almost dozed back off when she suddenly found herself sitting bolt upright in her bed again. "What did she mean, 'We didn't?'" Nabiki asked herself out loud. "Who is we? Where did they go and what did they do?" It was at that point that Nabiki began to cry. Too much was going on too fast. Things were getting out of control and control was the one thing that Nabiki had to have in order to stay sane. She did not stop crying until she finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion at about three o' clock on Friday morning. It was going to be another very long day for her, longer than anyone, least of all Nabiki, could have possibly imagined.
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Comes The Cold Dragon [A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: In the process of writing this piece, I discovered that I would have to make rather peculiar use of the Japanese word "ryuu" which means "dragon" in English. Fortunately, Japanese has a handy synonym for "ryuu." It is "tatsu." Unlike the English terms sometimes used in lieu of the word "dragon,"
such as "worm" or occasionally, "leviathan," tatsu means dragon and nothing else. You will understand all of this as soon as you run across my usage of it in the story. Also, prior to Japan's adoption of the metric system they used a number of units surprisingly similar to the English units. I will be using two of them in this part of the story. One unit is the "shaku," equal to 11.9" or 30.513 cm. Each shaku is divided up into ten units called "sun" (pronounced "soon.") These units of measure are still used for certain things, particularly when dealing with one's own "kamae" or "distancing" and when talking about the sizes of traditional weapons. One of Ukyou's favorite epithets is "aho." Other characters use this as well, including Ranma, but Ukyou uses it more often than the rest. "Aho" is generally translated as stupid, but it carries some connotations that are rather stronger than "stupid." It falls more into the category of the English, "dumbass." Pantyhose Tarou uses the word "okama" as an epithet for Ranma. I have seen this translated as "cross-dresser" and "fem-boy." Neither translation does this epithet justice. Rather than use a false translation, or commit the sin of political error, I have opted to simply use the Japanese word without explication, thus allowing readers to infer for themselves what the term means. One final note. Unless you really can do the Kachuu Amaguri-ken, don't try any of this stuff at your local tavern. Such an experiment could have a singularly adverse effect on your health.] COMES THE COLD DRAGON: PART VIa Pansuto Taro reached the western shore of Japan during the wee hours of the morning. He dropped down onto a desolate stretch of starlit sand. It was his favorite landing spot. The tiny beach was walled in on three sides by intimidating cliffs and the surf here was almost always too violent for the average swimmer, so it was seldom visited. The privacy this place afforded him was a necessity. Pansuto Taro never bothered with buying an airline ticket. His cursed form could fly so there was no reason to spend money nor trouble himself passports and other such officious trivia. The drawback to his stratagem was that it invariably meant that he arrived in Japan exhausted and in a form that would panic just about anyone who caught sight of him. He found his favorite rock, then stretched out for a much needed nap. After a three or four hours of rest, his last little hop to Nerima would be a snap. ------------------(Yo! Red!) (Hmm?) (I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' kinda snacky.) (Geez, what time is it, Saotome?) (Gettin' pretty close to dawn, I think.) (We left all that food out!) (Nuts!) Ranma ran up the stairs only to find that someone had put everything away. There was a note on the table in Kasumi's handwriting. Ranma, Please remember to put the food up before you become too absorbed in your studies. Thanks, Kasumi. (Whoa!) (She must have come in with Tofu last night, Red.) (I sure hope they are the only ones that can sneak past us like that, Saotome.) (You and me both!) Ranma began to shake. It took him several minutes to get himself back under control. He rushed over to Akane. Much to his relief, she was sleeping peacefully. (We may as well eat, Saotome. We blew it, but Akane's okay.) (We gotta find that hole in our defenses and fix it, Red.) (Yeah, I know. Try not to make so much noise!) (I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'! Whaddaya say we take this stuff downstairs?) (Good idea. We have to make our tea in the lab anyway.) ------------------- Kasumi and Nodoka began work on breakfast and chatted with one another as the pre-dawn gray of early morning turned shell pink, then fiery red. They decided to let Soun and Nabiki sleep for as long as possible, then sat down for a cup of tea. "I think one of us should take breakfast over to the clinic this morning," Kasumi said. "Nabiki needs to visit Miyagi's first this morning and only the kami know how many other things she has going." "Why don't you take breakfast over to the clinic," Nodoka said. "While you are doing that, I will take a thermos of hot water over to the zoo." "Sounds good to me," Kasumi said, "but I thought you wanted to wait until mid-morning on Uncle Genma." "We may as well get him out early, Kasumichan," Nodoka said. "Your father began to look rather depressed yesterday afternoon. I don't think I could take much more of it." Kasumi smiled. "It was much worse before Ranma and Uncle Saotome got here." "I can't imagine what it must have been like for you," Nodoka said. "It boggles the mind." "Do you think you could handle the two of them by yourself this Sunday, Aunt Nodoka?" "I am certain
I can, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said with a smile, "even though I lack your extensive experience. Why do you ask?" "Doctor Tofu asked me to go on a picnic with him, Ranma and Akane on Sunday." "Oh, that's wonderful!" Nodoka said. "The place we want to visit is way out in the country, so we are planning to leave very early." "Oh, I am so happy for you, Kasumi!" ------------------- Nabiki sat at the breakfast table, picking at her food while Kasumi and Nodoka fussed over her like two mother hens with a single chick. It made her feel a little better even as it tormented her. She very badly wanted to throw herself into their arms and let them take care of her, but there was too great a risk that she would end up divulging things. Things which were best left safely obscure. She suddenly realized, much to her horror, that her efforts to control her desire for Ranma had also cut off her access to nearly all affection, not just the feelings she had for Ranma. She wanted very badly to break down into tears, but became quite stern with herself. After all, this was just a temporary situation. Bee-boop! Bee-boop! Nabiki sighed and opened the offending, cellular telephone. "Tendo," she said tiredly. "Takeda here, Tendo-san," the voice on the other end said. Nabiki perked up a bit. Jiro Takeda was one of the most useful of her minions. At age twenty, he was a good deal more mobile and could do things which were often difficult for herself and the rest of her group. She did not get to use him as much as she would have liked because he held down a full- time job keeping books for a machine shop on Forges Street. "Good morning, Takeda-san," Nabiki said. "How are things?" "Very interesting at the moment," Takeda said. "Our French bicycle maker is inundated with would-be customers this morning." "Oh, really?" "Yes," Takeda said with a chuckle. "It seems that word of who built the Chinese girl's bicycle has gotten around. There are so many bicycle freaks hanging around here that the cops are trying to shoo them away." "Hmmm, that is interesting," Nabiki said, trying not to let any excitement creep into her voice. "I don't know what you have in mind, Tendo-san," Takeda said in a way that told Nabiki that he was grinning from ear to ear, "but whatever it is, I want in." "Cash?" Nabiki asked. "Sure," Takeda said with a chuckle. "I'll even borrow from the bank for this one. I smell real money in the wind." "I'll let you know," Nabiki said, keeping her voice cool, but not overtly cold. "Better make a move soon, Tendo-san," Takeda said. "We are not going to be the only ones that are aware of this little opportunity." "Agreed," Nabiki said, silently cursing the nuisance of having to attend school. "We will move as fast as we can. Expect to hear from me by Monday evening." "Awright!" Takeda chortled. "Oh, by the way, Nekohanten delivered everything along Forges on time this morning. No hitches." "Thank you, Takeda-san," Nabiki said. "Thank you, Tendo-san," Takeda said, then the phone clicked as he terminated the call. Nabiki wolfed down the rest of her breakfast and charged out the gates of Tendo-ke as quickly as she could. There was a whole great big world out there and she was determined to whip it. ------------------- Akane stood in the rear entrance of the clinic, while holding a pitcher of ice water as she watched as Ranma perform the basic kata of the Anything Goes School. The school had three sets of twelve kata. Each kata being paired with another and always done in pairs, with brief rests between. Ranma had decided to perform the first three pairs, or the Beginner's Sextet, this morning. Akane knew all of these forms quite well, having begun to learn them shortly after she learned to walk. Ranma however, was performing the kata in a way that very nearly took her breath away. It was almost as though lightning had struck a pool of mercury, leaving a dancing Ranma Saotome behind in the aftermath. Watching his flashing limbs and rippling muscles did things to her she could not describe. Even a few of Uchigawa's men stopped what they were doing to watch him ripple and whip through the complex forms of finely tuned violence which made up the foundations of the Anything Goes School. "Magnificent, isn't he, Akane?" Tofu said as he stepped up behind the youngest Tendo. "Yes," Akane said, unaware that a note of reverence had crept into her voice, "he is." Ranma finished the last kata in the sextet, then walked towards Akane. "That was some show there, son!" one of Uchigawa's men exclaimed. "It sure was," chimed in another. "How long have you been doin' this stuff?" asked a third. "Aw, gee, I don't know," Ranma
said over his shoulder. "I think I must have started learning kata right after I learned how to walk." "I believe it!" the first man said. Akane handed Ranma a towel. He used it to pat his face to dry while she poured him a glass of cold water. Ranma looked around and spotted his tank top hanging on a nail. He put it on before accepting the water from his fiancee. He downed the glass in single, long gulp. "More?" Akane asked. "Please," Ranma said. Ranma did not drink but half of the second glass of water. Instead of finishing it, he upended the glass over his head, changing himself into his female form. This elicited several gasps from the construction crew. "Didja see that!?" "Sure did!" "I've seen his girl form before, but this is the first time I ever saw him actually change." "Kinda strange, huh?" "In a beautiful way, yeah," one of the men said in an awestruck voice. Onna-Ranma looked at Akane and grinned. "You are an incorrigible ham, Ranma Saotome!" Tofu and the construction crew snickered in unison. "Hey! Save the ham cracks for Ryoga," Onna-Ranma said in way of protest, "I'm doin' this for you, okay?" "Oh, you're doing it for me, huh?" "Yes!" Onna-Ranma said, sounding slightly exasperated. "I can't teach ya until I settle things with the old freak, right? But there ain't nothin' that says you can't watch me work out and learn somethin' from it, understand?" "Oh," Akane said sounding more than a little dubious, "so you want me to learn by watching you do something I've been doing since I was four years old?" "It ain't gonna be quite the same, Akane." Before Akane could respond, she felt Tofu's hand on her shoulder. Akane looked up to find Tofu smiling at her with a cocked eyebrow. "Just watch me, okay, Akane?" Ranma said in pleading tones. "All right, Ranma," Akane said, struggling to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice, "but you should already be in bed!" The construction men looked at one another for a second, then broke out into guffaws. Onna-Ranma rolled his eyes. "I toldja, Akane, I ain't sleepy." "Okay, okay! So do your stuff already!" And so Onna-Ranma did. The laughter died away into reverent silence as Onna-Ranma's hands and feet crackled in the morning air. Akane recognized the kata at once. It was the first of the Beginner's Sextet, but just as Ranma had promised, it was not the same. The blocks were all different, either higher or lower than the ones she had been taught, and the angle of the blocking limb was slightly different as well. The follow up punches Onna-Ranma threw were different in angle and alignment. He had revised the footwork so much that she barely recognized it. Only the basic pattern remained. Before Onna-Ranma had gotten halfway through the first form, Akane realized that the changes would make everything easier for her. Some of the changes Onna-Ranma had made, were things Akane had wanted to change for a long time, but her father had insisted she learn the traditional forms. Now she realized that both she and her father had been right. The forms she had been taught would perfectly against another woman, but were not as efficient against a male opponent. "See what I mean about him being a true master, Akane?" Tofu asked. "Yes," Akane said as she nodded her head, "but you know what irks me?" "What's that, Akane?" "If I had just worked up the nerve to break with tradition, I could have discovered some of these moves on my own." "That is no doubt true, Akane," Tofu said "but knowing when to make a break with tradition can be tricky." "I know," Akane said with a sigh. "I doubt if I could have put them into such powerful combinations as Ranma has." "Genius is where you find it, Akane," Tofu said with a smile. The changes Onna-Ranma had made to the traditional forms went beyond mere technique. It was that same subtle difference one sees in two musicians. One who can play the notes very well, and the one who makes music out of the notes. In his male form, Ranma tore through the basic kata like a bear dealing with a pack of wolves. His moves were overwhelmingly powerful and rounded. In is female form, Onna- Ranma became a tigress seeking out prey. His moves became lithe, fluid, and lightning quick. Where Otoko-Ranma ripped through the forms, Onna-Teki Ranma rippled across them, like the wind ruffling the surface of a mountain lake. Akane found it necessary to concentrate with great intensity in order to follow this old, yet entirely new form. Onna-Ranma finished off the first pair of the Beginner's Sextet by coming to a halt so suddenly that it was mind
freezing, just as the traditional kata called for him to do, but then he treated everyone to a cute little shimmy of the derriere. This made Tofu chuckle out loud and Akane giggle, as one of the construction hands fainted dead away with a major nosebleed. The whole crew had gathered to watch by the time Onna-Ranma had finished his exercise. The clatter of the fallen man's hard hat suddenly made Akane aware of their circumstances. "Come here, Ranma," Akane said in an insistent voice as she put her hands on her hips. "U-u-h, okay, Akane," Onna-Ranma said, suddenly sounding very small and apprehensive as he walked over to Akane. "Wait here," Akane commanded, as Ranma came within a foot or so of the doorway. She turned and ran up the hall. Relieved that he was not going to get walloped, OnnaRanma turned his back on the door, then threw his arms up into the air and stretched so hard that he came up onto his tiptoes. This caused two more of the construction hands to become weak at the knees, forcing a third member of the crew to grab himself by the nose. Before Onna-Ranma could finish his stretch, Akane poured hot water on his head. There was more than one change in the scene, of course. The air had been filled with hot ki boiling off the construction hands. Enough of it that had Onna-Ranma wished, he could have whipped up a pretty strong Hiryuu-shoten-haa without ever leading the men into a spiral, but with the sudden appearance of Ranma's male form, the atmosphere changed instantaneously. Several of the men turned green. Two others helped their fallen comrade to his feet, then needled him unmercifully as they all returned to work. Akane and Tofu laughed. "Hey, what's so funny?" Ranma asked. "You mean you don't know, Ranma?" Akane asked. She was well and truly shocked. "What's to know?" Ranma demanded. "It's your lack of feminine modesty at work, Ranma." "What?" Ranma asked, sounding shocked. "Whaddaya mean? They all know I'm a guy!" All Akane could do was shake her head. It was impossible for her to tell how much of Ranma's naivete was honest and how much of it was purely an act. She made a mental note to herself to ask "Ranko" about it the next time she put in an appearance. Akane had no doubts that Ranma hated being ogled by guys, but she was not all that sure of Ranko's sentiments. "Don't you think you should go shower and get some sleep, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Naw!" Ranma said. "All I'd do is toss and turn. I'm still wide awake." "You mean to tell me you aren't the least bit tired after all that?" "Not really, no." "Doc?" Ranma asked. "Yes, Ranma?" "You said I'm healed up. Will it hurt if I go for a long run?" "No, it shouldn't hurt a thing, Ranma," Tofu said, "especially if you think it will help you sleep." "I don't know if it will help me sleep or not, Doc," Ranma said, "but I am goin' crazy sittin' around here all day and night. Will you keep an eye on Akane for me?" "Sure, Ranma," Tofu said, grinning as he realized that Akane was gritting her teeth. "That was the deal all along, right?" "Thanks, Doc!" Ranma said, the turned to his fuming fiancee. "Look, Akane. I know you hate this, okay?" "You have no idea, Ranma!" Akane said as she stared down at the ground. "Oh, I think I do, Akane," Ranma said as he tipped her head up so he could look her in the eyes. "I wouldn't like it much either, but this won't last forever. I promise." Akane calmed down rapidly. Ranma had never broken a promise to her. More importantly, he had already admitted that he loved her and was now showing a willingness to resolve some of the trouble in their lives. "Okay, but you be back in an hour, Ranma!" Akane said in a fierce whisper. "And try to stay out of trouble!" "Two hours," Ranma said. "Take three, if you must, Ranma," Akane said. "Just stay away from...just stay out trouble! Okay?" "I will, Akane," Ranma said in serious tones. "I'm just going to go run for a while! I'll stick to places where I never run into any, ah, trouble, okay?" "Okay." Ranma surprised her then by giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "See ya in a little while," he said, then hopped up on top of a nearby wall and shot out of sight. Akane heaved a deep sigh, then went back inside the clinic. ------------------"Xian Pu!" Ko Lon called out as she heard the new bicycle pull up outside the Nekohanten. "Yes, Great-Grandmother?" "Come here and sit down, child," Ko Lon said in Chinese, "I would speak with thee." Xian Pu immediately understood that she was in trouble, but could not think of a thing that she might have done wrong recently. Nevertheless, she sat down in a chair opposite Ko Lon, deep concern
showing in her face. "Child, tell me what happened on your trip to Kasuga, yesterday." Xian Pu looked surprised, then told Ko Lon everything that happened. "You must promise me that you will not do that again while we are in the Land of the Wa, Xian Pu" Ko Lon said. "That technique was never intended to be used on living things, much less humans. You must also promise to speak with me before doing anything to a policeman here." "But they were bad men, Great-Grandmother!" Xian Pu said. "I was never told anything about not using the Inner depths shake-up strike on people." "I know, child," Ko Lon said gently with a wan smile. "That is because no one ever anticipated your being able to use it on people. There was no such thing as an automobile when the technique was developed, and I suppose no one before yesterday ever dreamed of using it on one." "Oh," Xian Pu said "but what is wrong with using it on bad men, Great-Grandmother?" "First, things are very different here, Xian Pu," Ko Lon said. "The Wa do not have a perfect government, no country does, but it is nothing like the rotten mess we have in China. Most of the policeman here are honest. People here respect their police and they would become very angry with us if they learned that one of us was beating up their policeman." "Oh," Xian Pu said in a small voice. "Second, the technique does terrible things to living beings," Ko Lon told her greatgranddaughter. "It is an unimaginably cruel thing to use on a person." "What happens, Great-Grandmother?" "For a few seconds, everything inside the container, even the air, becomes a thick, syrupy liquid, Xian Pu. Your victim becomes completely boneless and might find herself entangled with any number of other things inside the vehicle once the effect wears off." Xian Pu made a face. "It probably makes a person very seasick as well, not to mention the horror of suddenly finding oneself in a liquefied state." "I promise, Great-Grandmother." "Good!" Ko Lon said, then smiled. "Now get something to eat. You will have many deliveries to make during the noon rush." "Yes, Great-Grandmother." ------------------- Officers Shirikawa and Ohga found themselves reporting for duty in front of Lieutenant Hashigawa's desk by 0900 hours. Neither man felt like doing anything, but neither of them was so badly hurt that they could not function, and both knew better than to try and skip work. That would only make matters worse once they did finally report in. "Now then," Hashigawa said between gritted teeth, "which of you Einsteins came up with the bright idea of running a scam down in Nerima?" "With all due respect, Lieutenant," Shirikawa said, "we were conducting an investigation, not running a scam." "Oh save it for your momma, Shirikawa!" Hashigawa bellowed loudly enough to rattle the windows of the office. "What kind of empty-headed boob do you take me for, anyway? Insult me like that again and you'll be doin' time for corruption! Do you understand me?" All Shirikawa and Ohga could manage was a disbelieving stare. "I asked you two dipsticks a question! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" "Yessir!" both men said in unison as they bowed their heads. "This brilliant little stunt of yours has wormed its way around until it has reached all the way up to the Governor's office. HE is PISSED! The Chief has my nuts laid out on an anvil, and he's standin' there with a fivekilo hammer in his hand. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" "Yes, Sir!" the two officers chorused. "Good! Because if you think I am going to take a nut crunching for the likes of you two lifelong fuckups, you are goofier than either one of you looks!" Shirikawa and Ohga both gulped and nodded their heads. Things were much worse than either of them had imagined. "Now then! Within the next hour, I want a complete report on my desk from each of you. In full! The truth! The whole truth and nothing but the fucking truth so help you Kami-sama! If I get anything less, I am going have a tire full of gasoline hung around your stupid necks and I am PERSONALLY going to throw the fucking match!" "Yessir," the two men squeaked out in unison. "Now get the hell out of my office before I lose my temper!" ------------------- The mid-morning sun warmed Pansuto Taro's body just enough to wake him. He stood up and stretched. It took him a moment to remember where he was. Then he remembered that there was a well kept pasture nearby. The owner had worked hard at improving it by planting it with a mix of alfalfa and coastal Bermuda grass. He would stop and eat before going on to his destination. Nerima
was only four hours flying time away. Just enough time and effort to give his cursed form time to digest a meal and be warmed up for battle. He laughed to himself as he leapt into the air and took wing. ------------------- Genma Saotome found the thermos full of hot water and eagerly poured it over his head, despite his worries that Nodoka had dropped it off just so that she could deal him some genuine misery once he got home. He easily slipped into the Umi-sen ken upon changing. He had been practicing the technique a great deal over the week. It was the only way he could avoid his amorous cellmate. The zookeeper opened the personnel gate and Genma slipped out as the man walked inside the panda's pit. While the zookeeper wandered about the pit looking for his missing panda, Genma ran towards Tendo-ke. Even if Nodoka was still angry with him, enduring her wrath would be well worth a hot bath and a game of shogi with Soun. ------------------Ranma had not known exactly what he was looking for when he left the clinic, only that he was looking for something. Well, he did have an idea of what he was looking for. It was the same urge he had felt during the night. He was looking for a place to sit. A place to sit and meditate this time rather than a place to sit and study. He still did not understand why. He understood even less when his instincts screamed for him to stop as he passed by a large, fenced-in area on the far, northwestern outskirts of Nerima. (I don't believe this, Saotome!) (Me neither!) The fence was at least twelve meters tall and topped by concertina wire. The interior of the place had been carefully obscured by thin, wooden slats which had been woven into the mesh of the hurricane fencing. Signs were posted all over the fence, warning of danger and "high voltage." Several of them simply screamed "Keep Out!" He could hear the hum of electricity coursing through metal and the whir of large fans behind the fence. What he had found was the main, electrical switchyard for Nerima. Here the main powerlines carried extremely high-voltage electricity from the power plant to a large bank of step-down transformers so that the power would be at a lower, much safer voltage for re- transmission into residential areas. Ranma understood none of this. He understood that the place was dangerous, but the desire to find just the right spot was overwhelming. Unable to resist, he leapt over the fence and lightly touched down inside the yard. Coarse, white gravel crunched beneath the rubber soles of his shoes as he roamed around the place looking for his "spot." He hated it. His hair felt like it was standing on end and he was shaking with fear, but he did at last find what he had come to find. The spot. He had no way of knowing it, but The Spot was right between two of the four, first stage step-down transformers on their primary side. He found a place in the shade of one of the transformers and sat down in lotus position. (This is just too weird, Saotome!) (Tell me! What do we do now?) (We meditate, I guess.) (I hate meditation.) (That's not true, Saotome.) (Yeah, okay. I hate getting started. It's hard to do, and it's boring.) (We could try growing a rock. Look around see if there ain't an interestin' one, Saotome.) (How's this one?) The rock was nearly the size of Onna-Ranma's fist, but fit nicely in Otoko-Ranma's hand. Rather than being pure, snow white as most of the gravel in the yard was, this stone had reddish streaks and was encrusted with crystals of calcite. (Yeah, that ought to do, Saotome. Bed it up in the gravel so that it looks like an island.) (Okay.) The term "growing a rock," does not mean to literally grow a rock. Rocks are not living things. It instead refers to forcing a change in one's perception, so that the object of one's concentration, usually an interesting stone, appears to grow larger. This is not as impossible as it may seem to some, nor as simple as it may sound to the imaginative. Usually, the first time a person succeeds at it, they accomplish the feat quite by accident, having given up any hope of making the rock appear to grow. It is usually a fleeting experience. The rock being concentrated upon will appear to increase in size by a half-diameter or so, then the practitioner becomes excited and loses his concentration and the rock's appearance becomes normal again. Increasing the apparent size of a stone, and holding on to that change in perception, requires one to reach a mental state referred to in Zen practice as the "mind of no-mind." No one really understands what this means and a devout practitioner of Zen Meditation will tell you that
there is no point in understanding. Once you have achieved it, they will insist, you will know what it means without needing to understand. Ranma had found this to be true only so long as he was in that strangely peaceful, psychosomatic state. Once out of it, his curiosity about what he had done would begin to burn all over again. After a few moments of quieting the internal chatter of his mind, the rock grew a little. He became excited and slipped out of the "mind of no-mind" state, and the appearance of the stone returned to normal. After several more tries, he sustained it in a way he never had before. The stone seemed to grow until it appeared to be as large as himself. Ranma began exploring its surface the way one might explore a mountain from afar with a pair of binoculars. Unbeknownst to him, he began to cast a huge black aura which reached up towards the main power lines feeding the first stage step-down transformers. ------------------- One-hundred kilometers to the northwest of Nerima, Tsutomu Hata, the A-Shift Supervisor of the Chubu Falls power plant was on his early morning inspection tour. It was a habit he had developed when he began working in the plant as an oiler thirty-years ago. Producing power was a passion for him and he did not look forward to his mandatory retirement. For him, money had stopped being an issue long ago. He and his wife had more than enough money to retire on. For him, power was his life. He did not know what he would do with himself when the dreaded day came. Hata had been one of the very few old-time operators to stay on after the company added the new, gas-fired turbines and waste heat recovery units to augment the little hydroelectric plant. He had gleefully thrown himself into operating school when most men his age shuddered at all the new complexities and opted for early retirement. In the end, Hata came to know more about his plant than the engineers who originally designed it. At the moment, he was standing near AGT-100, ("A" train, gas turbine number 100) the number one, gas-fired turbine. The plant had four "trains," A through "D," of generating equipment. Each train had two gasfired turbines and two waste heat recovery boilers, which supplied steam for two steam-driven turbines. Thus each 'train' had four generators, two powered by natural gas and two powered by steam. The older part of the plant had two large generators driven by water pouring through tunnels built into the dam. In all, the plant had eighteen generators. The hydroelectric part of the plant never stopped running, except for maintenance shutdowns every two years. The rest of the plant was operated in accordance with demand. Today, only "A" and "B" trains were being operated in addition to the hydroelectric plant. The weather was cool, almost cold enough to tempt one into wearing a light jacket, so the demand for power was low. Had it been a bit colder, or a bit warmer, they would have found it necessary to run at least the "C" train. On very cold days and all through the summer, they ran everything in the plant for all it was worth. Hata felt an odd parallel between the power plant and the garden he had nurtured for the past thirty-years at his huge, country home. Each change of season brought changes to both. Some of the changes were subtle. Others were as difficult to ignore as the fiery red leaves of the maples in his garden. Hata knew all of the changes well, in both his garden and in his plant. Nothing, not even the subtlest change, escaped his notice. When the stem of FCV-AGT100 (flow control valve AGT100) began to spin, thus feeding much more fuel to the number one, gas-fired turbine of "A" train, Hata heard it. He heard it despite the high level of background noise because he knew every noise the plant made. Curious, he walked the twenty meters or so needed to reach FCVAGT101, which fed fuel to the second of the "A" train's gas-fired turbines. It too was now wide open. He was not surprised when the smaller relief valves on the two waste heat recovery boilers lifted briefly, noisily releasing steam. This was followed by the same relief valves on the "B" train waste heat recovery boilers lifting briefly. Something down in Nerima was demanding power, but Hata could not imagine what it might be, unless one of Nerima's tiny shipyards was extra busy. He walked over to the sound- proofed shed that served as rest area and smoke pen. Once inside, he removed his earmuffs, worn to protect his hearing from the noise of the plant, not to protect his ears from the cold, and got on his radio. "Ochiai-san! What's going on?" "Hey, Boss!" Ochiai's ever cheerful voice came back
on the radio. "I've been trying to raise you on the radio. Demand just went up and is still climbin'. You want us to prep "C" train?" "Yeah, go ahead and do preheat. Be sure to check the oil levels on all the turbines and feedwater pumps. I'll be back in the control room in about five minutes." "We're on it, Boss." "Hata, clear." Hata clipped the radio's microphone back onto his shirt and sat down for a smoke. "What on earth could be needing that much power on a day like today?" he asked himself aloud, then shook his head. "I'll bet it's those crazy kids again." Hata took his time smoking his cigarette. His doctor had told him to quit, and he was trying, but it was anything but easy. He had reduced his intake to five smokes a day and he'd be damned if he would rush through one. He smoked the cigarette down until the filter paper changed color, then threw what little was left of it into the butt can. "Guess I'd better go see how my children are doin'," he said to the empty smoke pen as he donned his earmuffs. He trooped back up to the control room. A tour around the boards convinced him that there was no acute emergency brewing, just an unusual demand for power. "Whadda ya think, Boss? Ochiai asked. "Go ahead and fire up "C-Train" once they finish pre- heat," Hata told his assistant, "but keep a close eye on the dump condenser effluent. We shouldn't need the number two cooling tower as cool as it is today, but if we do, I want to start it up early rather than late." Steam turbines work best if there is high pressure steam on one end and low pressure steam on the other. The dump condensers assured this by dropping the temperature of the steam on the outlet side of the turbines. "Okay, Boss." "I'll be in my office," Hata told Ochia, "I gotta ton of paperwork to catch up on." "Okay, Boss." "If I'm not back down here in half an hour, give me a ring, will ya?" "You got it, Tsutomu!" "Thanks, Mika." The one thing Hata hated about being shift supervisor was the amount of paperwork the position burdened him with. He could sort of use a computer, and had a terminal in his office, but had never really gotten comfortable with it. He had fallen into the habit of using paper forms and giving them to one of the girls in the typing pool to enter the data into the machinery. Things were less error prone for him that way. After twenty minutes of tedium, his telephone rang. "Hata." "CTrain is up and running boss, but I don't think it's going to be enough. Demand is climbing even faster now." Hata said nothing for several seconds while he contemplated this news. "You want I should have 'em prep D-Train?" "Start number two cooling tower first," Hata ordered, "then pre-heat D-Train. I'll be down there right after I make a phone call or two." "Okay, Boss!" Ochiai said. "Start Number Two Cooling Tower, then warm up The Dog. We're on it." Hata hung up the phone, stared at it for a moment, then picked it up and punched up an outside line. "Chubu Falls Power and Light, Horiuchi, here." "Yo, Horiuchi-kun! How's it going?" Hata asked. "Been an easy day, so far, Hata-kun. What's wrong?" "I just started CTrain and am getting ready to fire up the D-Train." "Huh?" "Better start checking for unauthorized taps." "Well it can't be that bunch of geeks over at Furinkan, again!" Horiuchi exclaimed, "The Governor promised 'em he'd put 'em jail if they did it again." Hata laughed out loud. The last time they had seen a sudden, inexplicable demand for power like this one, it had turned out to be the Furinkan Physics Club testing out their newly completed cyclotron. They had some how managed to pull a pair of 13.8KV feeders from the temporary power setup at a construction site, over to the Furinkan High School's basement. Local authorities had not known whether to give the students scholarships to Tokyo University or to prosecute them for criminal mischief. The Governor's office had ended up doing both. The kids were on probation. "Well, we are pushing lots and lots of watts, Horiuchi-kun," Hata said. "Enough for a linear accelerator or something this time. Better try to find 'em before they kill themselves and blow something up." "Why does this kind of shit always happen on a Friday?" "You got me, man!" Hata said. "If nothing turns up at Furinkan, better check over at Saint Hebereke's." "That's an all-girls school!" "Times change, Horiuchi," Hata said dryly, "My youngest granddaughter knows more about electronics and computers than I'll ever learn." "All right, I'll get on it," Horiuchi said. "Lemme know if demand starts to drop." "No problem, but if you find the tap, be sure to let me know before you pull the
plug on 'em." "Will do!" Hata hated pumping what was, in all probability, unmetered power into the grid, but he had no choice. If he did not meet the demand being placed upon the system, Nerima would suffer a brown-out or perhaps even a black-out. The only good solution was to keep feeding power to the system and hope the linemen found the source of demand quickly. Hata returned to the control room and consulted a number of instruments. The demand was not going away, it was still increasing at a rapid pace. "Temp on dump condenser effluents?" Hata asked loudly enough to be heard throughout the control room. "Ninety-five degrees and falling, sir," one of the board operators answered, "Number Two Cooling Tower is now fully on-line." "All right," Hata said, "wake up the Dog." "The Dog" was their slang for the plant's least used, "D-Train." They had picked up the notion from one of General Electric's engineers. "Boss?" Ochiai asked. "Yes, Ochiai-kun?" "You want me to stir out the stumpjumpers?" Hata smiled. Ochiai was going to make a good shift supervisor after Hata retired. The younger man had learned his lessons well. "Stumpjumpers" was the slang term they used to describe their fellow employees generally known as linemen. It was a somewhat obscure reference to the lineman's habit of climbing poles. "Thanks for the reminder, Ochiai-kun, but I called them just before coming back." "Just checkin', Boss." "I'll be in my office," Hata said with a smile of approval for his protege. "Call me if anything changes." "Yessir." Hata spent the next hour delving into the complexities of his fuel consumption reports. Just as he was about to have it all untangled, the telephone rang. "Hata." "Boss," Ochiai paused and gulped loud enough for Hata to hear it, "demand is starting to drop." "This soon?" "Yessir, it's dropping pretty fast, too," Ochiai said, sounding rattled, "I'm pretty sure we'll get an overspeed trip on the wet side of the Dog." The problem with waste heat recovery boilers is that it takes a while to shut them down. Sometimes, a sudden drop in demand would leave the plant with more steam than it could use. This would cause the steam turbines to run too fast, causing an "overspeed trip," when the safety systems would choke off the steam being fed to the turbines. This still left the system with the problem of too much steam and the only option left at that point would be for it to dump the steam via the relief valves. This was very noisy. It virtually guaranteed complaints from the plant's neighbors. It also caused the loss of specially treated and expensive water for the boilers. "Bring A and B trains up to a hundred and ten percent, then start kickin' the Dog. I'm on my way." Before Hata could reach the control room, the floor began to shake, followed by the rumbling, rocket engine roar of twelvefifty steam, basically just water heated until it held the fury of all the demons in hell, as it erupted from the D-Train's largest relief valves. "Son-of-a-bitch!" Hata bellowed back futile fury. "Why did this have to happen on my shift?" An hour later and a hundred kilometers or so away, Ranma Saotome cleared the switchyard fence, then sprinted towards Tofu Ono's clinic. He was already late. He was in such a great hurry that he failed to notice the power company truck, even though he had skipped across its hood as it pulled up to the yard's gate. "Didja see that shit?" the driver screamed at his partner. The other man was too shocked to speak. He merely nodded his head. The driver keyed his radio. "Base? Unit fifty-four!" "Fifty-four, base. Go ahead." "Base, we just pulled up to the switchyard when one of those martial arts kids came bouncing over the fence." "Did he go into the yard, fifty-four?" "No! He was comin' out of it!" "What was he doing in the yard?" "How the hell should I know?!" the driver shouted into his microphone as he turned red in the face. "Sharpening his cute little claws on a transformer, maybe?" "Fifty-four, check for damage to the switchyard and report." "No way, base! Not before you send us some more help! We ain't goin' in there by ourselves! Fiftyfour, clear." "Okay, fifty-four. Stay put. Sixty-two and seven-one? Report to the switchyard, please." "I hope they hurry," the second man in the truck said. "Why?" the driver asked. "'Cause it's gonna rain this afternoon and I hate workin' in a switchyard while it rains!" "I'm just hopin' we don't hafta call the cops out here to pick up the body of a flash fried kid!" the driver grumbled. They found no body nor any damage to the switchyard. Nor were there any unauthorized taps. They did
find Ranma's tracks in the gravel and the place where he had sat while meditating. One of the men picked up the rock that Ranma had used for an object of meditation. "Didn't one of you guys say the kid you saw was wearing a red shirt and had his hair tied up in a braided pigtail?" "Yeah." "He was just lookin' for a quiet place to meditate," the man said as turned the rock between his thumb and forefinger. "I know where he lives. I'll have a talk with him later." They locked up the yard, then drove away continuing their search for an unauthorized tap on the grid. Ranma arrived at the clinic thinking that he had needed to meditate for a long time. Some subtle, undefinable craving which had been bothering him for months was suddenly gone. It was for him a curious experience. He had not realized that he had such a need before today. Now that the craving was gone, he was aware that he had been suffering from it. ------------------- In the centuries passed, whenever a westerner felt the urge for solitude, he obtained it easily by simply throwing a pack on his back and marching off into some unsettled place. Perhaps more importantly, western societies have long valued individualism and such behavior was easily understood by all. In the Japans however, such was never the case throughout its written history. The topography of those rugged islands and the close-knit nature of the societies which prospered there, have always conspired together to frustrate the individual's occasional need for solitude and simplicity. Sometime in the middle of the sixteenth century, a retainer of the great warlord, Oda Nobunaga, developed the means of acquiring solitude and simplicity in a crowded, boisterous land long torn by constant warfare. His name was Sen No Rikyu and the way he found to solitude and simplicity was through the ceremony of serving and drinking tea, the Cha No Yu. To be sure, Rikyu had not invented the ceremonial serving and drinking of tea. That had been done in China well before his time. Rikyu's accomplishment was to pare down the practice of serving and relishing tea to its barest essentials. This was in great contrast to the general practice of the time. The tea ceremonies of his youth were occasions of great ostentation and showmanship, held in large banquet halls. Foppery and one-upmanship ruled the day. Rikyu's tea ceremony was guided by two watchwords; wabi, which means poverty, and sabi, which means loneliness or solitude. To him, too much beauty was a bad thing. With a collection of beautiful things, it is difficult to fully appreciate any one of them. Place a single, beautiful thing in homely surroundings however, and it becomes the center of one's focus. Rikyu's ideal was to clear the air of clutter, fuss and bother, to reduce all of one's focus down until all that was left within it, was that which truly mattered. The first thing Rikyu rejected were the large, elegant halls used for Cha No Yu. His first teahouse was modeled on the hut of a poor farmer, barely large enough to shelter four people quietly sitting and lacking a proper door. To enter his teahouse, one found it necessary to crawl. He also rejected the beautifully made tea services or "chadogu," of the day. He adopted the practice of using bamboo utensils in lieu of silver, and simply glazed earthenware instead of fine porcelain. His idea of a fine object for the tokonoma, was single scroll with one or two words written in carefully brushed kanji, or better yet, a plum branch stripped bare of all but a single blossom, ensconced in a simple bamboo tube. The objective was to achieve richness in the midst of poverty, and solitude in the presence of others, as each person contemplated the essentials for himself. Later, the ceremonies came to be held outdoors beneath nothing more than an umbrella and though often a large one, it was never large enough to shelter the entire party. The intended role of the umbrella was to serve as a mere symbol of shelter. Rikyu was interested in the bare essence of beauty and nothing more. For reasons which are not entirely clear, a large umbrella, made of bamboo and heavily oiled, red paper, came to symbolize the Cha No Yu itself. Other colors are no longer considered acceptable for the Cha No Yu. Such an umbrella lashed to a gate post has come to mean that a Cha No Yu is in progress on the grounds, and the participants are not to be disturbed for anything less than the most serious of reasons. There were and are, other schools of Cha No Yu of course, but the way Rikyu established became the way favored by the bushi, or warrior class, and so it
was that when Ukyou Kuonji studied the Cha No Yu, she had studied the way of Rikyu. Cha No Yu became her hidden, or secret skill. She, like many Japanese, prided herself on mastering, or at least studying, two major skills. One to be practiced openly for the public as a means of making a living. The other only ever witnessed by close friends. To Ukyou, having chosen a form of budou (Warrior's Way) for her public art, it seemed only fitting to her that she choose cha-dou (The Way of Tea) as her private one. Such a choice was, after all, in full keeping with traditions of Japan. By the time this fateful day had arrived, Ukyou had performed the Cha No Yu many times, but this was the first time she had performed it when the performance truly mattered. She had found herself surprisingly calm throughout the entire day. She spent much of it searching the lower limbs of the garden's maples until she found a forked twig of just the right sort. She carefully cut the it from the branch, then stripped all the other leaves away so that the only thing remaining was a single, forlorn leaf, resplendent in gold and crimson. She placed it in the tokonoma without a stand, and used a spray bottle to keep it moist. The time she had been allotted for the ceremony was not the ideal. Preferably, Cha No Yu is performed just after dawn, or just as the sun begins to approach the western horizon. Another favorite time is at night when the moon is near full. The mid-afternoon, while acceptable, is not a preferred time, but the kami had chosen to smile upon the struggling chef on this, her most fateful day. The air had become chill in that afternoon as the high, thin overcast lowered into an even blanket of charcoal grey. Ranma and Akane entered the teahouse and viewed Ukyou's carefully arranged twig and leaf in the tokonoma, as custom required. She could tell by their faces that it spoke volumes to her guests. Shortly after Ukyou began the ceremony, a soft, sibilant rain began to fall, making the atmosphere perfect for such a serious event in the lives of her and her friends. It became a bit too dark while Ukyou performed the tea making part of the ceremony, so Ranma lit a small candle, then placed it beside the twig in the tokonoma. They completed the ceremony and sipped their tea in the light of that single candle. It was at this moment, the very end of the ceremony that the value of Rikyu's long legacy became fully apparent to Ukyou. The three of them together, and each in their own way, had focused upon nothing but the essentials, just as Sen No Rikyu had intended. Ranma and Akane sat very near one another. Close, so very close, but not quite touching. Making it obvious that the desire to touch was present, but not indulged. Their concern together for her, was quite obvious to Ukyou as well. Their concern was genuine, but it was a concern they shared together for her. There was no room for Ukyou between Ranma and Akane. This had become as clear as the waters of Towada Ko and probably deeper. As she sat and studied Ranma's face, Ukyou realized that she had been trying to harness him to her yatai. Such a fate was impossible for the young warrior sitting before her. Hers was not a life he could happily share, nor was his one that she could long endure. They were each masters of their respective arts, but their lifestyles could never be the same. She would have to let him go, dammit all! Love him as she might, it was the only thing she could do to save both their lives. Deciding this, made it easy for her not to be jealous of Akane. Akane would never be the subservient wife that most Japanese women were expected to become, but she was the perfect match for Ranma. He needed a woman of fiery will to support him and guide him in the times ahead. Ukyou knew down to her bones that neither of her old and newly-found friends would have a quiet future. Such a life was impossible for them. Now all that remained, since so much was clear and the ceremony was at an end, was for Ukyou to say something. It did not have to end in such a way, of course. Many times people relied on "haragei," or "a gut feeling," in circumstances such as these. Often things were concluded in this manner, and became lifelong obligations with nothing spoken or written to confirm the agreement. Ukyou knew however that she dare not leave things the way they were. If she did, Ranma would leave feeling as though he were still tied to her yatai, and she had decided that he must be made free. Ukyou felt a great weight fall away from her soul as she realized that by freeing Ranma, she would also be freeing
herself. Now, if she could just find the exactly right words to say, everything would be properly complete. "Ran-chan? Akane-chan? I just want both of you to know that I...I..." The atmosphere was suddenly ripped to shreds by the shrill alarm of a cellular telephone crying for attention. Akane's eyes widened with shock and embarrassment as she desperately searched her person for the offending little instrument of torment. Ranma rolled his eyes towards the rafters in heartfelt disgust. "I'm sorry, Ukyo!" Akane said, embarrassed to the point of tears. She was still feeling around her kimono, unable to remember which pocket it was in. "I forgot I even had this thing on me." Ranma heaved an exasperated sigh. Ukyo was at first outraged, then was struck by how even this unfortunate lapse of Akane's, fit into the whole of their Cha No Yu. How else was one to expect something to end if it involved her Ran-chan? Nothing involving Ranma ever got finished the way he, or anyone else, wanted. A Cha No Yu with a perfect ending would have been a glaring break with tradition, and it made her even more aware of why she would never be able to run a business and be married to Ranma. She began to laugh. Silently at first, but then she was unable to contain it. "Are you all right, Ucchan?" Ranma asked, sounding concerned. All Ukyou could manage was a nod as she gasped for another, much needed breath. "Moshi, moshi!" Akane said into the telephone, sounding more than a little irritated. "Nabiki!" Akane was now thoroughly peeved. "You do realize that we are in the middle of a Cha No Yu!" "Go easy on her, Akanechan!" Ukyou said in a squeaking voice, then gasped for breath. "I couldn't have planned a better way for this to end if I had wanted to." "Okay, Nabiki!" Akane said, becoming very red in the face. "But you had better have a good explanation for this!" Akane sat bolt upright, put the phone down in her lap while holding it with both hands, then took a deep breath and held it until Ukyou thought her former rival and friend would turn blue. "It's Nabiki, Ranma. She wants to talk to you!" Akane said, handing the infernal device to her fiance. Ukyou gave Akane a puzzled glance. Akane answered her with an angry shrug of the shoulders and shake of the head as Ranma listened on the telephone. "Do what?!!" Ranma exclaimed. It was a tone of voice that Ukyou had never heard Ranma use in all the time she had known him. The air in the teahouse seemed to suddenly get much colder, which in fact, it actually had. It was not merely a psychological affect of Ranma's anger. "He is, huh?" Ranma said. His voice was suddenly much deeper and had a grinding quality to it that Ukyou thought she recognized, but could not place. Akane was now staring at him with a look of genuine alarm on her face. "Put the silly bastard on the phone!" Neither of the two girls could hear what Nabiki was saying, but could tell it only angered Ranma further. "I'm a good ways away, but I'll be there as fast as I can," Ranma said. The air in the room was now becoming misty and the light from the candle had grown quite dim for reasons that Ukyou could not understand. It was almost as though something in the air was filtering out the light. "Yeah, yeah! Whatever!" Ranma said, sounding most unimpressed. "I'm givin' you my word that I am on the way, all right? Just stay cool." "Yeah, okay! I get the picture! I'm leaving now!" Ranma said, then folded the telephone up into its storage configuration. "Konatsu!" Ranma shouted. "Yes, Saotome-dono!" Konatsu's voice was nearby, but Ukyou could not place its direction. She was suddenly very annoyed with the ninja. Why was he hanging around? And how did Ran-chan know that he was here? "Gather up the chadogu and the other stuff! I'm takin' the girls back to the clinic." "Yes, Saotome-dono!" "Meet us there, Konatsu!" "Okay!" the ninja answered back. "Ranma-a-a!" Akane said in her menacing way, "What is going on?" "No time for talk, Akane! We gotta move fast!" Ranma enlarged the entrance of the tea house with a slashing knife hand as he gathered Akane to him. Before Ukyou could come to complete grips with what was happening, she found herself being borne over the rooftops of Nerima via "Air Saotome." A thrilling, but not a particularly dignified way to travel, given that she was draped over his left shoulder. A quick glance told her that a highly annoyed Akane Tendo was riding Ranma's right shoulder in the exact same fashion. "Ranma Saotome you tell me what is going on right this very instant!" Akane shouted at the top of her voice. It made Ukyou's ears hurt. "In a minute, Akane!" Ranma shouted back. "Right now I
gotta save my breath!" The trip to the clinic was mercifully short. Ranma was wearing a man's formal kimono, a much less restrictive garment than what Ukyou and Akane were wearing. He set the two girls down gently upon their feet, then without a word, he ran up the stairs in a blur. Ukyou had gotten a brief glimpse of his face and did not like what she saw. The squint lines around his eyes and the deep furrows in his brow were one thing, but the pure murder in Ranma's stormy blue eyes was something Ukyou never expected to see in her Ran-chan. "What could this be, Akane?" she asked in a hoarse whisper. "I've never seen Ran-chan like this!" Akane's face had gone quite pale. She seemed to be unsteady on her feet. "I have," she said, "but only once." Ukyou gasped. "You mean when he fought Safuron?" Akane nodded, then said, "Come on! We gotta try and talk to him." The two girls bounded up the stairs followed by Tofu. Close on the doctor's heels was Konatsu, carrying Ukyou's chadogu and three pairs of geta. By the time they reached the top of the stairs, Ranma had already removed his formal clothes and had put on a pair of rough trousers. He was still pulling a black tanktop over his head just they arrived. "Ranma! TALK TO ME!" Akane bellowed loud enough to make the windows rattle. "It's Tarou, Akane," Ranma said as he stepped into the tiny bath, then came back out with a clean furoshike. ["Furoshike" often translates as "bath towel or beach towel, but usually means a large piece of cloth intended to carry things in.] "TAROU!" the girls chorused, "HERE?" "He's holding Nabiki hostage over at the school," Ranma said in a voice that hung icicles in the air as he shook out the furoshike. "He says he ain't gonna let her go until I bring the old freak around for him to talk to." "AHO!" the girls chorused. "Ranma, didn't you tell him that Happosai is still in jail?" Akane asked. Ranma carefully folded the furoshike up in what seemed to be a very odd way to Ukyou. "Nabiki has already told him that, Akane. He said if I didn't bring the old freak in a hurry, he'd start breaking her fingers." "So what are you going to do?" Akane asked. "First, I'm gonna humiliate him, then I'm gonna make him hurt." "I'll go get my kit," Tofu said, then disappeared down the stairwell. "THAT BASTARD!" Akane shouted, "I'll kill him!" "Then you had better change clothes, dontcha think?" Ranma asked with a smirk. "You're only wearing thirty or forty thousand yen worth of kimono." "OOOOIIIIYAAAH!" Akane howled as she began to struggle with her obi. "Here! Wait! Lemme give you hand with that, Akane!" Ukyou said as she ran over to her formal rival and began helping her with the kimono. Ranma started down the stairs, but Akane noticed him and stopped him with a shout. "Where are YOU going?" "Where do ya think, Akane? The clock's tickin'! I'm pretty sure he meant that business about breaking Nabiki's fingers. You know how aggravatin' Nabiki can be." "Promise me you won't let my sister get hurt!" "I promise, Akane," Ranma said, then gave her a wink. "He won't even know I'm there until Nabiki is safely out of reach." "Now promise me YOU won't get hurt!" "I promise I won't get hurt bad." Akane gave Ranma a hard stare. Ranma answered it with a lopsided grin. "Hey! It's a fight! Whaddaya expect?" "Okay, Ranma!" Akane said, sounding grim. "Hurry!" "Ranchan!" Ukyo shouted. "Now what?" Ranma asked from halfway down the stairwell. "I ain't got all day, ya know!" "Promise me something, Ran-chan!" Ranma gave out an exasperated sigh. "Promise me you won't kill him!" "I promise I won't kill 'im on purpose, Ucchan!" Ranma said over his shoulder as he turned. "That's the best I can do! And both of you guys stay close to Doc Tofu!" "I'll take it!" Ukyou shouted after him. "We will, Ranma!" Akane called out. "Help me out of this thing, Ukyou!" Akane shouted as she again began struggling with her obi. "Sure thing, Hon!" Ukyou said as she moved in to help with the recalcitrant garment. "You got somethin' I could maybe borrow for the fight?" "We'll just wear some of Ranma's clothes!" Akane said as she finally struggled free of her obi, "They're used to it." Ukyou cackled. "I'll bet they are!" "Konatsu!" Akane shouted at Ukyou's ninja companion. He had been standing, frozen in place with his eyes covered, but Akane's shout made him quiver from head to toe. "Give Ukyou a hand with her kimono. We haven't got time to be fooling around!" Ukyou opened her mouth to protest, but the sound died in her throat. Akane was right. The important thing for them to worry about now was to get to the high school. Once they changed and
flew down the stairs, they collided with Doctor Tofu, who was struggling with a couple of stretchers and two different medical bags. "I'll take one of those, Doc!" Ukyou shouted as she grabbed one of the stretchers and blasted out the back door. Akane silently took the other stretcher and followed her. Konatsu picked up the second bag just as Tofu bent over to pick it back up, then disappeared. Tofu looked around, shrugged his shoulders, then he too sprinted out the back door and down the street towards Furinkan High School. ------------------- Nabiki's minions had not been idle. They went to work like the well oiled machine Nabiki had trained them to be. Bets were taken and placed. Archers posted in strategic spots to cover Nabiki's escape should they be needed. They used archers because the ownership of firearms being expressly prohibited by law. Observers and cameramen were deployed in a way that was sure to catch all of the action as it unfolded. Oh, and one of them called the Nerima Police station and explained about the possible need for the presence of Happosai, just on the off chance things went badly wrong. The local police prided themselves on fast, friendly service and took immediate steps. Nabiki would not learn of all this until later, but would be enormously pleased with the way her little ad hoc team had performed and would give them all a nice bonus for their efforts. ------------------- Lieutenant Hashigawa hung up his telephone, then opened his door with such a hard jerk that it slammed into the wall of his office with a loud bang. "Shirikawa! Ohga! "Sir?" the two men chorused. "Getcher asses up here!" The two men sprinted across the long room, eager to comply. "There's a paddy wagon waiting for you downstairs," Hashigawa said, his face grim. "Go get in it." "Sir?" the two men again chorused, their eyes growing wide with horror. "You two boobs are going to take a little trip to Nerima," Hashigawa told them. "Just so you will understand why we have certain rules about the place, okay?" "U-u-h..." "Just getcher asses downstairs and onto that truck before I have you both clapped into irons and thrown onto it!" "Yessir!" Shirikawa and Ohga did not bother with the elevators. As with all government buildings, the elevators took something like a day and half to reach the third floor and also make a stop. Much to their shock and surprise, the paddy wagon was full of uniformed police. All of them, ten in all, were armed with shotguns and had their weapons trained unwavering upon a little old man who was wrapped up in chains that must have weighed at least fifteen kilograms per meter. The old man looked to be at least a hundred. "What the hell is goin' on here?" Shirikawa asked. "Shutup will ya?" the sergeant in charge snapped. "Ya might make one of my men lose his concentration and that'd be all she wrote!" "O-o-o-kay, sorry," Shirikawa said. "Just shutup, close the door and have a seat, okay?" "Well all right, Sergeant, if you insist!" Shirikawa said as he reached for the paddy wagon's door. "I do! Now siddown and be quiet!" Ohga and Shirikawa found a couple of places to sit down on the floor of the truck, then found themselves hanging on for dear life as it weaved and swayed through Tokyo's traffic. "I don't understand this, Shirikawa." "Me either, Ohga. The old geezer doesn't look the least bit like Anthony Hopkins."
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Comes The Cold Dragon
[A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: In the process of writing this piece, I discovered that I would have to make rather peculiar use of the Japanese word "ryuu" which means "dragon" in English. Fortunately, Japanese has a handy synonym for "ryuu." It is "tatsu." Unlike the English terms sometimes used in lieu of the word "dragon," such as "worm" or occasionally, "leviathan," tatsu means dragon and nothing else. You will understand all of this as soon as you run across my usage of it in the story. Also, prior to Japan's adoption of the metric system they used a number of units surprisingly similar to the English units. I will be using two of them in this part of the story. One unit is the "shaku," equal to 11.9" or 30.513 cm. Each shaku is divided up into ten units called "sun" (pronounced "soon.") These units of measure are still used for certain things, particularly when dealing with one's own "kamae" or "distancing" and when talking about the sizes of traditional weapons. One of Ukyou's favorite epithets is "aho." Other characters use this as well, including Ranma, but Ukyou uses it more often than the rest. "Aho" is generally translated as stupid, but it carries some connotations that are rather stronger than "stupid." It falls more into the category of the English, "dumbass." Pantyhose Tarou uses the word "okama" as an epithet for Ranma. I have seen this translated as "cross-dresser" and "fem-boy." Neither translation does this epithet justice. Rather than use a false translation, or commit the sin of political error, I have opted to simply use the Japanese word without explication, thus allowing readers to infer for themselves what the term means. One final note. Unless you really can do the Kachuu Amaguri-ken, don't try any of this stuff at your local tavern. Such an experiment could have a singularly adverse effect on your health.] COMES THE COLD DRAGON: PART VIb Ranma jogged, rather than sprinted towards the school. He wanted to arrive there well warmed up, not winded. (We'll start with the Umisen-ken. I wanna get Nabiki out of the way before we whip his ass.) (Okay, Saotome, but I want the first real pass at him!) (Believe me, I would love to do it that way, but he's got a at least a two sun reach on our male half! He's gotta have at least three sun on our girl half, maybe four!) (Yeah, but you know how he likes to stick his left out, then tries to surprise us with his right?) (Oh, I see what you're up to! Then if we block his right fist with our elbow just below his knuckles...) (He's big time hurt and it will slow him down a bunch.) (Just be sure you use our elbow and not our head, okay? This guy can hit!) (I know that, Saotome! But once we've got his arms good and sore, we can go to work on his legs.) (Hey, don't pass up a shot at his legs if you get it. He's too good to play with, Red.) (Okay. Then the first time I'm in under his guard, you be ready to take over and surprise him with the extra reach.) (You got it! Sounds like enough plan for now to me, Red. We don't wanna get locked into any one thing.) (Gotcha!) Ranma slowed as he neared the school, being careful to stay behind the walls. Once he was near the athletic field, he jumped up to get a brief peek over the wall. (She doesn't look hurt, Saotome.) (Yeah, I saw. So far so good. Ready?) (Steady!) (Go!) Ranma performed all the "ingei", or hand motions necessary to invoke the Umisen-ken, then jumped over the wall. ------------------"You're hurting my arm!" Nabiki shouted at Tarou. "Aw shutup, witch! I haven't started hurting you, yet." "You'd be well advised to let me go, you know." "Yeah? What makes you say so?" "The archers." "Archers!" Tarou said, sounding alarmed. "Where?" "You mean you haven't spotted them, yet? There are at least two of them on station by now, possibly as many as four." Tarou scanned the crowd now gathering around the soccer field and spotted one of the archers Nabiki was talking about. The tall, lanky boy had an arrow nocked, but was not yet pointing it in his direction. "Call 'em off, you witch!" "I can't," Nabiki said. "What do you mean, you can't? Call 'em off right now or I start breaking your fingers early!" "Do that and you'll find yourself bristling like a porcupine!" Tarou's answer was to twist Nabiki's arm up a little higher behind her back. "Ow!" Nabiki screamed. "That hurts!" Tarou's danger sense immediately informed him that Nabiki had not been lying. There had to be at least three archers within bow shot, probably four, all of them now aiming at him. "So how come you can't call 'em off?" Tarou growled. "They don't work for me!" Nabiki said, blinking back her
tears. "There are people around here who have a vested interest in my well-being." "So they'd risk hitting you just to get me, huh?" Tarou asked with a sneer. "What kind of idiot do you take me for? "Don't be a fool! Ouch! There isn't much risk to me at this range. The poorest shot in the group is second dan Heki- ryu. You will die if you hurt me!" Tarou looked around hoping to spot the hidden archers, then sensed a swift, unseen movement. Another half-second later he realized that he no longer held a hostage. Nabiki was gone and his right forearm was throbbing painfully. Thus preoccupied, it took him several more seconds to realize that he was also standing in the middle of Furinkan's soccer field without so much as a single stitch of clothing on his body. The crowds gathered around the field began to cheer and laugh. ------------------- Sixty meters away, near the edge of the field, Ranma broke the Umisen-ken and thus became visible to everyone in the area. He unfurled the furoshike with an adroit flourish, and suddenly, Nabiki Tendo was standing in front of him. The crowd went wild with applause. "You've been chasing Happosai around too much, Saotome!" Nabiki said with a growl. "Oh...uh...Sorry, Nabiki," Ranma said as his face turned a little pink, "Would ya mind puttin' these on my tab? I don't think I'm gonna get back in good shape." "I had an extra pair in my purse!" Nabiki said as put her hands on her hips. "If you had just thought to ask!" "Ah...gee...I..." "Haven't you still got some work to do, Saotome?" Nabiki asked. "Yeah...ah...look...I...." "Just don't tease me like that again unless you're going to please me, Ranma." Ranma blanched, then turned and sprinted towards the fuming Pansuto Tarou. The air around him darkened as he went, causing a cloud of mist to form around him, then he suddenly changed into his girl form. Nabiki, having had a great deal of practice watching ungodly fast martial artists engaged in furious combat, noticed that he changed forms well before the mist closed in around his male form. Chills ran up her back. "I wonder if he even noticed?" Nabiki muttered aloud, not realizing that her cohorts and minions had just arrived at her side. "Noticed what, Boss?" "Are you all right, Boss?" another asked. "What's it like being rescued by Ranma, Nabiki-san?" "Not bad," Nabiki said with a cold smile, "It beats the living daylights out of being held hostage." The girl watched as Nabiki's face reddened slightly and smiled to herself. ------------------- After what can only be described as an interminably long and sickening ride, the paddy wagon stopped, then backed up a few meters, then stopped again. The driver got out and banged on its side with his fist. "Okay," the sergeant said in a loud voice, "We're here. Open both the back doors, Shirikawa." Shirikawa unlocked, then swung both the heavily armored doors open, only to be greeted by the scene of a high school soccer field. Swarms of students and other local people were seated around the field's edge. In the middle of it, a deliciously cute redhead was squaring off for what looked like an impending fight with a tall, lanky, and very naked gaijin. "Shouldn't we arrest that kid?" Ohga asked. "You don't do nothin' you ain't told ta do, Ohga!" the sergeant shouted. Shirikawa was so stupefied by all this that Ohga found it necessary to pull him out of the way of the armed officers as they slowly backed away from the old man wearing the heavy chains. All of them backed down out of the truck, taking great pains not to trip, or to let their sights stray away from the old man. The old man shuffled forward tiredly until the sergeant barked for him to freeze. "Now don't make another move, old man!" "I won't!" the old man responded, then gave the sergeant an evil grin. "What's the matter with you guys? I'm just a worn out old panty thief, not Hannibal Lecter!" This last was greeted with a grim silence, as the uniformed officers made a show of carefully re-drawing their beads. The old man heaved a sigh of exasperation, then looked around. "Sweeto! It's Ranma! And bless my soul, he's fightin' Pansuto Tarou!" ------------------- "Here, put some pants on!" Onna-Ranma said as he threw Nabiki's wadded up pantyhose at Tarou. The bundle of fine brown cloth hit the taller boy in the chest and he caught it without thinking. "You look like a real jerk, standin' around naked in public!" Onna-Ranma added. Tarou held the hosiery by the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, allowing it to unroll until one leg of it fell onto the wet grass. "You are going to suffer for this one, Okama!" Tarou hissed through grinding teeth. Onna-
Ranma batted his eyelashes at Tarou and giggled. "Where are my clothes, asshole!" Tarou shouted loud enough create an echo. "Here they are, Pansuto!" Onna-Ranma said in his cutest, girly-girl voice, then threw Tarou's clothes on the ground between them. "It's not like you have that much to cover up, you know." "Oh, haha!" Tarou said as he pulled on his pants. "I am gonna whip your ass, then I'm gonna hump you until you start likin' it!" "With that little thing?" Onna-Ranma asked, striking one of his more infamous, fold-out poses. "You are going to suffer, plenty you queer bitch!" Tarou said angrily as he pulled on his shirt. "If you can beat me, you can eat me, Tarou," Onna- Ranma said, then batted his baby blues at Tarou again. "I'll even lay down and spread my legs for you." "Damn right you will!" Tarou bellowed as he launched a hard, left jab at Onna-Ranma's nose. (Here comes the left, Red!) (I see it!) Onna-Ranma shifted her head slightly to the left allowing Tarou's jab go by, then used the chestnut fist on the inside of Tarou's left arm, just above the elbow. This meant of course that Onna-Ranma was spending valuable time in the path of Tarou's follow-up punch, a hard, right-cross. Onna-Ranma had planned to block this second punch, which Tarou invariably threw in the opening of a fight, with her elbow by sticking it up just high enough for Tarou's fist to connect, but connect between the first and second knuckles of middle and ring fingers. Onna-Ranma's elbow was the perfect sized striking instrument for such a ploy. (Ow! You promised me you'd use our elbow for that!) (There wasn't time, Saotome! At least now no one can say we don't use our head!) (We're still seein' stars!) (Yeah, so what? Pansuto's hoppin' around holdin' his hand.) (Well don't just stand somethin'! Do there!) Onna-Ranma ran inside the distracted Tarou's guard and hammered his ribs just beneath his left armpit. He went down. Onna-Ranma danced back and waited. (You want to stomp him while he's down, Saotome?) (Nah! There's too many people watchin'!) (Aw!) (Watch it! Here he comes!) The now furious Tarou had tried to get in a wicked left-hook that was launched from near ground level. Because the punch failed to connect, it left the left side of his rib cage exposed to Onna-Ranma's tiny, steel-hard fists. He took about thirty blows before he could bring his left arm back for a block and follow up the hook with a right-cross. Onna- Ranma had gotten a little too fascinated with playing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on Tarou's ribs. The right cross paid off nicely. (Damn that hurt! Don't stop movin', Red!) (I ain't, Saotome!) (I think our right eye might swell shut in a minute.) (Shit!) (Watch the heel sweep!) Onna-Ranma went airborne, and got in a very solid side kick to Tarou's forehead. Tarou went down flat on his back. Onna-Ranma danced back out of the much taller boy's reach again. (We need some cold on this eye, Saotome! Think you can do it with ki?) (We got nothin' to lose by tryin'!) (Ooh, that feels good.) (He's up again! Watch him, Red! He's gonna start usin' his feet more now.) Tarou sprang to his feet and had is guard up before he had even settled into a solid stance. He threw a left-jab at Onna-Ranma's nose, followed by a truly wimpy right-cross hoping to lure Onna-Ranma into just the right spot. Onna- Ranma read this move and decided to spring the trap. Tarou used the momentum and turn of his body built up by throwing the ineffectual right-cross to bring his foot up into a wicked, whistling roundhouse kick that would have torn Onna- Ranma's head off had he not ducked it. Onna-Ranma ducked, then twisted her upper torso to the left and hammered Tarou's thigh, just behind the knee. This added a fair amount of momentum to Tarou's kick, causing him to spin on the ball of his left foot. OnnaRanma took the opportunity to give Tarou's lower spine a machine gun blast of blows just above Tarou's waistline, then danced back as the taller boy fell face forward into the wet grass. (Damn, Saotome! Shouldn't he have changed by now?) (With as much ki as he's puttin' out? The water's hot by the time it reaches his skin. It's gotta be colder than sweat to work, you know.) (He's gotta be hurtin' bad by now, Saotome!) (Yeah, but he's tough. He's gettin' up again.) (This wet grass is givin' him fits. He can't use his favorite footwork. I think I'll move inside, be ready to change. Okay, Saotome!) (Yeah, I'll be ready. Just don't lead with our chin!) Onna-Ranma danced into Tarou's striking distance, deliberately making a target of himself. Tarou feinted with a left jab, the pulled his arm down
in a slashing block, as his left foot came up in sidekick powerful enough to shatter reinforced concrete. Onna-Ranma had expected this move, assuming that Tarou's left leg was probably the limb hurting his opponent the least. He stepped back one full step as Tarou's foot came up to point, then dropped into akibadachi, and beat the center arch of Tarou's left foot like a rivet hammer. "Yeeeeow! Holy shit!" Tarou bellowed as he went over backwards. (Wait up, Red! Don't get too close!) (I wanna be in close when he...) Riiiiinggggg! Buzzzzzz! Rinnnnnnnng! Tarou had sprung back from his fall with both hands and caught Onna-Ranma with a front snap kick under the chin. (Shit, that hurts! I toldja not to get too close!) Riiinggggg! Buzzzzzzzz! Riiiingggggg! (What?) (Watch 'im, Red! Overhand right!) Onna-Ranma ducked the overhand right, knowing full well that a hard left-hook had to be coming up from beneath. It was, and he just barely manage to slip the punch, losing plenty of skin between his larynx and chin. The trade-off was worth the lost hide. He was inside Tarou's guard again and could hammer away at the taller boy with the chestnut fist. He worked on Tarou's solar plexus, then dropped down to a point about two and one half centimeters above Tarou's pubic arch, then back up to his solar plexus. Tarou tried to answer this sudden agony by slamming the back of Onna-Ranma's head with his elbows. It was a fairly effective stratagem. (Now, Saotome!) Onna-Ranma powered up a hot flash of ki, hoping to heat the water on his skin enough to make the change back to his male form. It did not work as quickly as he had hoped, and he took some truly grievous punishment from Tarou's knees and elbows before changing suddenly to his taller, and longer-armed form. This took Tarou completely by surprise. Ranma's much heavier fists changed targets from Tarou's solar plexus to his chin. Ranma hit Tarou hard with a left-hook, followed by a right-handed uppercut that erupted from the lower depths of hell. The taller boy started over backwards, but Ranma did not let him off the hook on that account. He followed the upper cut with a hard, roundhouse kick to the side Tarou's upper thigh midway between the knee and hip joint. Ranma could feel the ball of his left foot press through the muscles of Tarou's leg and meet up with bone. "Aaaah! Damn!" Tarou screamed as he went down. Ranma danced back out of striking range. He needed some rest and knew that Tarou was not going to get up very quickly. (Saotome?) (Yeah, Red?) (I think he must have peeled our left ear right off of our head.) (Yeah, that's got me worried too. I'd check it, but it hurts too much to touch.) (How are the family jewels?) (It's all I can do to stand up. That bastard is good with his knees.) (Think it would help if we changed?) (Think you can handle him some more today?) (Better than you can if we're all bent over.) (Okay, here goes.) (Hey! We didn't get any cold water out of that and we changed anyway!) (Hey, I'm just happy to lose about half the pain.) (We got anything that's actually broken, Saotome?) (No, but we ain't got nothin' that ain't bruised.) (I hope that son-of-a-bitch pees blood for a week.) (Oh, I think he will. That was a really nasty thing to do, Red.) (He has it coming!) The crowds began to murmur. To many it seemed the fight was over. Several people began walking out onto the field but were waved back by Akane and Ukyou. As the two of them returned to the sidelines, they were greeted by Soun, who was accompanied by Ranma's parents. "How's the boy doing?" Genma asked. "Ran-chan's dishing out more than he's taking," Ukyou said, "but he has taken a pretty good wallopin' in the bargain." "He changed forms without water," Akane said sounding very excited, "I think he's gotten control of the curse." "What?" Genma and Soun chorused. "It sure looked like it," Ukyou said. "Ranma changed from his girl half to his guy half in the middle of the fight. It took Tarou by complete surprise," Akane added proudly. The two older men grunted in appreciation of this news. "What about his right eye, Saotome-kun?" "Doesn't look good, Tendo-kun." "I thought it was going to swell shut on him," Tofu chimed in, "but I think he must have chilled it using his ki." This startled the two older men into wide-eyed shock. Nodoka beamed. "Why is he in his girl form now?" Nodoka asked. "Humiliation," the two girls chorused. "Humiliation!" Nodoka exclaimed. "Why on earth would he want to humiliate himself." "He doesn't, Nodoka-san!" Ukyou answered. "Ranma is humiliating Tarou by beating him in his girl form," Akane explained. "Oh, my!" Kasumi said. "Is that
wise?" "Ungh!" Soun exclaimed. "I didn't think the the boy would ever have a mean bone in his body." "Finally, after all this time," Genma rumbled. Soun nodded his head in approval. Everyone else stared at Genma in outrage as it dawned upon them why Genma had never seemed satisfied with Ranma's training. Now they knew. He had been trying to make Ranma mean. Ukyou got up into Genma's face. "A-a-ho!" Ukyou bellowed. "Oh, no! They're fighting again!" Kasumi exclaimed. Tofu gave her a reassuring hug. "Don't worry, Kasumi. Ranma has been in charge of this fight from the beginning." "He has?" Kasumi asked. "He doesn't look as though he has." "It's been a very rough fight," Tofu said with a nod of his head, "but Ranma has given more than he has received so far." Out on the field, Onna-Ranma was giving Tarou a verbal beating. "Come on, Pansuto! You lay around there any longer and you'll get stiff," he said, then struck a provocative pose. "'Course you oughtta be stiff after bein' around me this long." "I'm gonna kill you! You little okama!" Tarou growled. "Hey! The offer still stands, Pansuto! If you can beat me, you can eat me!" Tarou sprang quickly to his feet, then immediately yelped with pain when he put too much weight on his left foot. This gave Onna-Ranma an opening. He darted in close and began hammering the left side of Tarou's rib cage again. Tarou howled with rage at the pain as he stepped back and clipped the right side of Onna-Ranma's head with a reverse ridge hand. It was not a telling blow, but made Onna-Ranma's eyes water. (Gotta quit stayin' in one place for so long, Red.) (Aw, what the hell! I think he's about had it, Saotome!) (He's hurt all right, but he's still puttin' out lot's of ki. He's got plenty of fight left in him.) (Say, how 'bout a little 'Rising Dragon Chuan,' Saotome?) (You are one nasty little bitch, Red.) (I'm glad you think so, Saotome!) (Let's change. You watch our step, I'll keep monster- boy busy.) (Ready?) (Steady!) (Go!) Again, Tarou was surprised by the sudden change in Saotome's reach. Ranma banged Tarou's face with a couple of stinging blows. They were not enough to stagger the taller boy. They were just enough to make him angrier. "What's the matter, Tarou? Disappointed?" Ranma asked scornfully as be backed away from the onrushing Tarou. "I am going to kill you, Saotome!" "If you can beat me, you can eat me, Pansuto!" (A little more left, Saotome!) "Don't call me that!" (There?) (Yeah! Now a little more cold ki!) (Enough?) (A little more.) (Now?) (Yeah, that'll work! Keep him coming!) (We're only gonna get one shot at this stunt, Red! It'll rain right after.) (I know, Saotome. We're doin' fine. A little more to the right.) Many of the people in the crowds surrounding the soccer field realized what was about to happen. Whispers of "Hiryuushotenhaa" could be heard by everyone who did not have too much blood roaring in their ears. One or two of them however, were more than a little puzzled by what they were seeing. "He's leading Tarou into the spiral step, Akane!" Ukyou exclaimed as she gripped Akane's arm. "But he's releasing cold ki, already!" Akane said, sounding worried. "Ummm," Soun said. "What do you think, Saotome?" "I don't know, Tendo," Genma answered. "The boy is up to something new this time." "Something wicked," Ukyou said. "This way comes," Kasumi added with a smile. Tofu chuckled, then everyone laughed. The crowd began to softly count down from ten as Ranma continued to lead Tarou towards the center of the dreaded "rasen stepu" or spiral step. They got louder as the young titans approached the center of the pattern. "Five!" Tarou could barely hear the crowd and understood nothing of what was going on, other than it made him even angrier. His ki flared bright enough to be felt sixty meters away. "Four!" "Three!" Tarou threw another series of combinations at Ranma, as he continued his headlong charge into the pigtailed boy's trap. "Two!" "One!" The crowd was roaring now. "HiiryuuuShooteenChuan!" Ranma's voice boomed out across the soggy field, as he aimed a blast of frigid ki at the ground. His voice had notes in it that no one had ever heard him use before. They could feel it in their chests as much as hearing it, as though someone had just started the engines of a 747 in the middle of the field. A shock ring of cold air ripped away from the center of the field, blasting moisture from the grass as it went. Within a hundredth of a second, the crowds were being stung by a cold, howling wind laced with fine particles of ice. It blew their hair back and nearly tore their clothes off as it passed. More than a few were bowled over
by it. Then, without any warning, the wind reversed itself, rushing into the center of the field. Ranma had succeeded in igniting a convection cell which spun parallel to the ground. Tarou found himself spinning like a top as the mix of hot and cold air slammed into him from all sides. Onna-Ranma calmly walked out of the maelstrom, grinning as though he had just bought an ice-cream cone on a hot, Sunday afternoon. The whirlpool of enraged air immediately scooped up enough moisture from the wet ground to invoke Pansuto Tarou's curse. This made matters worse for him because his cursed form was much larger, giving the raging wind more to chew on. Soon it began to suck up tons of wet grass, small stones, bottle caps, bottles and other litter. It was like being entrapped within a mad garbage grinder. "Enjoy the ride, Monster-boy!" Onna-Ranma shouted as he turned around to watch his handiwork. He made a show of sitting down and making himself comfortable, as though he were watching a television sitcom. The howling maelstrom slowly formed a peak until it was about a hundred meters high, it spewed mud, grass, water and a howling monster, then dissipated suddenly, leaving ChimeraTarou spinning in mid-air . Chimera-Tarou, unable to stop his spin, crossed his massive arms over his chest in frustration. His rate of spin accelerated dramatically until he became nothing more than a spindle shaped blur, far above the ground. After a long moment, there was no longer enough rising air to keep him aloft and he dropped like a stone into the now naked field, splattering everyone within sight with drops of sticky, red mud. The crowd roared it's approval. "Aaaw riiight!" "Way to go, Ranma!" "Ranma-san! Ranma-san! Ranma-san ..." the crowd chanted. Some of the girls actually waved their brassieres at Onna-Ranma in time with the chanting. This infuriated Akane, but Nodoka squealed with delight. Nodoka then did something she had never done in public before. She dropped her katana, wrapped her arms around Genma, forcing him to bend over backwards, then kissed him full on the lips. Ukyou became weak at the knees and unintentionally collapsed into the arms of Konatsu. Those near the paddy wagon could hear the frantic rattling of heavy chains and the clicking sounds of safeties being taken off. Seeing his mother and father from the center of the field, Onna-Ranma laughed. "Congratulations, Pop. Looks like we're finally free of the contract," he said aloud in a normal voice. "Finally free." Chimera-Tarou stirred, then tried to get up, but failed. "Well, almost free," Onna-Ranma said, even though no one could hear him. "Looks like we got a little more to do before we can call it a day." (Yo, Saotome!) (Yeah?) (D'ya really think we got the freak's pipe trick figured out? We've only used it once before this.) (Yeah. He uses his ki to redirect the energy of a strike. It's out of the Tai Chi Chuan.) (We don't have a pipe.) (Don't need it. We can just use our forearm.) (You had better be right about this, Saotome!) (Relax, will ya? I'm tellin' ya! We got it wired.) "Better hope that wasn't your best shot, Okama, " Chimera-Tarou said in a rumbling voice as he slowly rose to his feet, "because you'll never be able to use it on me twice." Onna-Ranma stared up at Chimera-Tarou and said nothing for a moment. Obviously, the monster-boy was still too dizzy to launch an attack. Onna-Ranma gathered legs beneath him into seiza, then put his hands behind his head and struck yet another, fold-out pose. "The deal still stands, Pansuto!" Onna-Ranma said as though she were trying to sucker Tatewaki Kuno. "Beat me, eat me!" The ploy worked. "YOU...MAKE...ME...SICK!" Chimera-Tarou said, then fell over backwards into the mud. The crowds roared with laughter. "Yeah, I know I did, Pansuto. Watcha gonna do about it?" "I'm going to hammer you into the ground like a tack!" Chimera-Tarou said, as his ki began to flare. He struggled to get up again, but the dizziness and the slippery mud were too much for him. He fell with another spectacular splash. "Hmmph! Damned near all of Japan has tried to do that already!" Onna-Ranma said with a smirk as he got to his feet. "It won't work." "I'm...not...from...JAPAN!" Chimera-Tarou said as finally rose unsteadily to his full height. Onna-Ranma pretended to yawn, then scanned the crowd on his left. "Hi, Mom!" Onna-Ranma yelled and waved towards his mother. (That did it, Red! He's big time cheesed now!) (What's he doing!) (Trying to get his balance! Whaddaya think? Keep wavin' to Mom.) (Okay, but how are we gonna know when...) (Just watch
Mom's face!) (I gotcha, Saotome. You really are a sneaky bastard.) (Thanks, but I'm no match for Tofu.) (It's not nice to do this to Mom, you know.) (Ah, she'll love it!) Nodoka smiled and waved back at Onna-Ranma, then her eyes widened with fright. (Here it comes, Red.) (I can see, Saotome!) Nodoka's mouth dropped open as she began to gasp. A light sprinkling of rain began to fall. Genma quickly produced an umbrella and used it to shelter himself and Nodoka. (Not yet, Red! Keep wavin!) Nodoka's hands came up to either side of her face as she bent forwards a little. The rain became steady, but stayed soft. (Steady, Red! Just another second or so. Smile) Nodoka's eyes were now wide with horror, as she began to scream, but the real signal came from Genma's glare at Onna-Ranma. (NOW, RED!!) "YAATAAA! WE GOT HIM!" Onna-Ranma chortled as Chimera- Tarou sailed up into the rapidly lowering sky. The rain began to fall in bucket-loads. (Hey! I thought you said we had this wired, Saotome?) (We do, Red! We just threw Tarou on his ass.) (We didn't throw him nearly as high as the old freak does!) (So? We need a little practice. So what? Wave at Mom, will ya? She's about to wet her pants!) "Don't get cocky, boy!" Genma bellowed. Hearing Genma, the crowds roared with laughter, then broke into cheers as Chimera-Tarou slammed into the wet grass on the far end of he soccer field. "I ain't cocky, Pop!" Onna-Ranma shouted back at his father as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sauntered off towards the fallen Tarou. "I'm just good, that's all!" Genma shook his head in disgust. "My God, Saotome!" Soun exclaimed. "Is there anything this boy can't do?" "Not much, Tendo. Including getting his ass whipped when he lets his head get too big." Soun chuckled. Nodoka stared after her son, concern riding in her face. Akane watched him closely as well, but realized something the others did not. Onna-Ranma was just acting. Despite his casual air, he was being very alert. (Well, that got Shit-daddy's goat, Saotome.) (Yeah, but he's proud of us.) (What we do now, Saotome?) (Time to do it vertical, I think.) (Guy type?) (Yeah, I guess we better.) (Ooh, I just love being well hung!) (Will you not talk like that?) (You are such a prude, Saotome!) (He ain't gonna sucker for the spiral step, Red. We gotta improvise.) (Gotcha, Saotome. I'll spot, you throw.) (Rodger that, Red.) (By the way, how are the jewels?) (Well they ain't swellin' so I guess nothin's ruptured.) (Damn, Saotome! We're startin' to get snacky.) (Yeah, I could do with a great big steak about now.) Onna-Ranma's aura flared electric blue, as bright and painful to the eyes as a welding arc, then he became Otoko- Ranma. "D'ya think he's heatin' the rain with his ki when he does that Akane?" Ukyou asked. "Can't be," Konatsu said confidently. "There's no steam," Akane added. Ukyou gasped. "Oh, that's right!" Genma stared after his son with both pride and awe filling his heart. The boy had mastered Jusenkyo. No matter what else happened now, his son would live forever in the legends to come. At last, the Saotome would join the ranks of the Musashi and the Yagyu. "_Kodomo tame ni_," Genma whispered to himself. "For the sake of the child." Tofu Ono bit his lower lip as concern covered his face. "What's wrong, Tou-chan?" Nabiki asked. "Nothing that can be helped right now, Kasumi-chan," Tofu said softly, "I just hate to have Ranma-kun going through something like this so soon. He wasn't ready for it." "I'm sure we can pull together and help him through it all," Kasumi said confidently. "It will likely prove difficult, Kasumi-chan," Tofu said in a near whisper, "very difficult indeed." On the field, Ranma stopped just short of Chimera- Tarou's effective reach, or kamae as it is referred to in professional circles, and taunted the monster-boy. "Yo, Pansuto!" Ranma called out in mocking tones. "You 'bout ready for a real workout now?" Chimera-Tarou's still bright battle aura flared even brighter, as he lurched up onto his massive hooves. His eel- tail thrashed ominously as he spoke. "Well it took you long enough to get here, Okama! Are you nice and rested now?" "My offer still stands, Pansuto." "I am going to tear your head off and use your skull for a night jar, Saotome!" Chimera-Tarou growled. "What? You mean you know what a night jar is? I thought you guys just used one corner of your bedrooms!" "Gr-r-o-o-o-w-r-r-r!" Chimera-Tarou charged. Ranma used his newly refreshed Tai Chi Chuan skills to send him flying across the field. Chimera-Tarou landed hard. At the far end of the field on one sideline, Soun Tendo
shook his head and grimaced after Chimera-Tarou bounced off the field for a third time. "Uh-oh, Saotome!" Soun Tendo said, his voice rising in alarm. "I've seen that look before!" "Oh, my!" Kasumi said. "Ranma looks terribly hungry!" "This ain't gonna be pretty, Tendo-kun!" Genma said in a grim, rumbling voice. "No, it isn't!" Soun added. Nodoka bit at her nails. Tofu stared morosely after the two young men at the far end of the field in the pouring rain and shook his head. Neither of them was in particularly good shape, yet both were going after one another as though the fight had just started. He wondered if either of them would live over it. The sharp intake of Akane's breath got Ukyou's attention. "What is it, Akane?" "Don't you see?" "See what?" "Tarou's ki!" "The spiral!" Ukyou cried out with sudden realization. "Ran-chan isn't using the spiral step, but his throws are gathering Tarou's ki into a spiral!" "And Ranma-san isn't trailing cold ki this time," Konatsu observed. Across the field from the rest of her family, Nabiki had noticed the same thing. "This is going to be the mother of all Hiryuushotenha!" Nabiki exclaimed to her cohorts, "Make sure the photographers are ready for it!" "Yes, Boss!" several of them chorused as they sprinted off in different directions. Out on the soccer field, Ranma was oblivious to any and everything save the task before him. All it would take was one little slip and Chimera-Tarou would have him. The monster-boy's frustration and rage had grown to the point that he was now mindlessly berserk. (Where next, Red?) (See that spot of water over there?) (Got it! Ungh!) (Nice shot, Saotome! One more throw and we'll have him, I think.) The crowds had begun to count down again. "Three!" (Run left, Saotome!) "Two!" (Watch the hammer fist!) "ONE!" Chimera-Tarou landed on his face this time, getting a yet another mouthful of muddy grass in the process. He rolled over just in time to see Ranma's triumphant face and stormy blue eyes, now wide with fierce exultation. "Hiryuu..." Ranma's voice boomed out again, rattling windows throughout all of Nerima this time. "Shoten..." Akane and Ukyou clapped their hands over their ears and opened their mouths. Ranma's voice was so loud a person could not stand to put their teeth together. "Haaaaa!" A column of impenetrably black ki, over three meters wide, raced up into the glowering cloud deck. It immediately turned an opaque white as large, fluffy flakes of frozen water and carbon dioxide formed within it. Ranma had set up a terribly powerful convection cell. The wind began to howl, then it began to shriek. Chimera-Tarou had just regained his feet and thrown a right-cross at Ranma's head which was guaranteed fatal if it landed. Ranma never so much as blinked. He stood stock still and sneered as the terrible wind seized the monster-boy, sucking him up and out of range. "S-A-O-T-O-O-M-E-E! Y-O-U PRICK!" Chimera-Tarou bellowed as he disappeared. (Our legs are getting rubbery, Saotome.) (Yeah, I know. We need somethin' to eat.) The shrieking, snarling wind had begun to gouge out a crater around Ranma, but he simply stayed in place and watched, as though it were just a walk in a peaceful park. (Saotome!) (I know! We can't move! WE'VE BEEN PARALYZED!) (What the hell's going on, Saotome?!) (I don't know!) (We are in deep shit, Saotome!) (I know! Tarou's most likely gonna go for a diving head butt this time! We gotta be able ta duck!) (Can we move anything at all, Saotome?) (I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'!) (Oh, shit!) (What?) (Lighting! We're are about to get hit by lightning, Saotome!) (I'll try shieldin' us with cold ki!) The crowds gasped en masse as great rivers of coruscating, blue fire cascaded down out of the weeping sky and blasted the base of Ranma's handmade tornado. The noise was deafening, much louder than that of the tornado itself. The air at the base of the tornado grew black as pitch. The lightning seemed to just disappear into it. Suddenly, the air around the base of the funnel turned white with snow, even as the lightning continued to pour into it. "My son!" Nodoka and Genma chorused. Genma found himself using his free arm to hold Nodoka upright, even though he wanted fall on his knees himself. "Oh, Ranma-kun!" Soun Tendo said softly as his tears mingled with the rain running down his face. Kasumi closed her eyes and prayed to Marishiten, Goddess of the North Star in both the Taoist and Buddhist traditions, long considered the protectress of soldiers and warriors. Ukyou closed her eyes, for a moment, opened them again, then passed out. Konatsu caught her. Akane stood
grim faced in the rain, staring hard at the incredible violence at the other end of the field. If there was anybody on earth capable of fending off the full fury of the heavens, it was Ranma Saotome. She would not believe anything bad had happened to him until she was holding his cold dead body in her arms. She stood. She gritted her teeth and she cried, but she neither fainted nor flinched away from the terrible sight before her. Only later would she realize that she had been silently performing the ingei of Marishiten with her hands. Across the field, Nabiki struggled to keep her face impassive while the wind and tooth-rattling thunder lashed at her clothes and shook her bones. A cold lump of stone had settled into her stomach even as her heart had leapt into her throat. The pain behind her eyes became almost unbearable as hot, stinging tears worked their way down her cheeks, far more noticeable to her than the cold bite of the lashing rain. There is no way he lived through that, she thought. He's dead. Oh my God what will I do. He's dead. The tip of the funnel suddenly lifted up into the sky, disappearing into the low-lying clouds. The terrible streamers of fire stopped shortly after it disappeared, leaving a silence that was almost as deafening as the shrieking wind and constant thunder of a few seconds before. The place where Ranma had last been seen, remained shrouded in swirling mist and fluttering snow. As one's hearing returned, all that could be heard was the quiet fall of rain and the occasional sob of an onlooker. "Comes the Cold Dragon," Tofu Ono said in a voice so soft it was nearly lost in the rain as the snows settled and the mist drifted away on the far end of the field. The crowds gasped as the mists cleared. Where Ranma had once stood, there was now a gleaming, blue dragon with crystalline spines along its back, and sporting a coppery red beard. "My son!" Genma whispered as he sank to his knees, still holding his unconscious wife. "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "He's done it again!" "Is that...is that Ranma?" Ukyou asked in a horrified voice. Out on the field itself, Ranma Saotome was as shocked as the onlookers. (We're still alive?) (Looks that way, Saotome.) Tatsu-Ranma looked down and saw his reflection in a puddle of water. (What the hell happened to us?) (Well, I think its safe to say we've changed.) Chimera-Tarou slammed into the ground a few meters away, creating a huge splash of water, mud and dislodged grass. (Ooh, look, Red! Surf 'n' Turf on the wing!) (Is he still alive, Saotome?) (Looks like it to me, Red. How long are we now?) (Six and three-quarters sun, silly! You mean you don't remember from the last time we measured it?) (I'm not talkin' about that! I'm talkin' about this new body!) (Hmm, five meters I think.) {Fifteen shaku, six sun.} (Huh? Who said that, Red?) (We did, Saotome.) (That was weird.) (Yeah, and I think we've already had enough weird for one day.) (Man! I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!) {And its rider.} (Bleah! Did we really say that, Saotome?) (Try not to think about it, Red.) (While we're THIS hungry? It actually sounded pretty good.) (You know, Red? You really frighten me sometimes.) (Hey, look! Tarou's coming around!) (You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Red?) {Barbecue?} (I can't believe you said that, Red!) (I didn't say it. WE said it!) (Let's just end this fight so we can eat, okay?) (See? I toldja it wasn't me!) {Eat, Drink, Man, Woman.} Chimera-Tarou struggled to his feet, then looked around for Onna-Ranma. (He must think we're a statue or something, Saotome.) (How many real dragons have you ever seen, Red?) (Haabu?) (He didn't look like we do at the moment.) (Shall I give him the hard news now, Saotome?) (Yeah. He's startin' to wonder around.) "Yo, Pansuto!" TatsuRanma said in Onna-Ranma's voice. Chimera-Tarou snapped his head around to see where the voice came from, only to find himself staring at a grinning Tatsu-Ranma. His eyes bulged as his lower jaw dropped down to about the same level as his navel. "My offer still stands, Tarou!" Tatsu-Ranma said, then wriggled from nose to tail. "If you can beat me, you can eat me." Chimera-Tarou took a step backwards. Tatsu-Ranma followed. "Dontcha still want a piece of my tail, Pansuto?" Tatsu-Ranma asked, then whipped his long hard tail around. The end of it slammed into Chimera-Tarou's ribs on the left side, knocking him down. (The new tail works great, Red.) (Our tail has always worked great, Saotome!) (Will you please ... I know! I know! I'm a prude!) "You know Tarou, its only fair," Tatsu-Ranma said in
the deep, grinding voice that came naturally to his dragon form, "that if you were gonna get to eat me, that I should get to eat you." Chimera-Tarou rolled over onto his back and let his tentacles do the walking while he made warding gestures with his hands. Tatsu-Ranma followed him along cautiously. "Next time, come around and knock at the back gate, like you're supposed to do!" Tatsu-Ranma ground out angrily. "Not only is it wrong to pick on someone that can't defend themselves, it's insulting to me! All you gotta do ask me for fight if you want one, aho!" Chimera-Tarou began to shake his head no, while still making warding gestures with his hands. Tatsu-Ranma's smile grew larger and he stopped following the now rapidly retreating Chimera-Tarou. "Feel like butting heads some more today, Pansuto?" Tatsu-Ranma asked. "Betcha my horns are sharper than yours." ChimeraTarou hook his head no again as he regained his hooves. "Then go back to China!" Tatsu-Ranma bellowed, causing the onlooking crowds to wince almost as a single person. "I'll send what's left of the old freak to you once I'm done with him!" Chimera-Tarou leapt into the air and took to his wings, flying westwards. TatsuRanma craned his long neck and watched until Chimera-Tarou disappeared into the rainy sky. {There went dinner.} (Red, will you NOT talk like that!) (I didn't say that! WE said that! Always thinking with our stomach!) (Hey! It's better than thinkin' with our...with our...) (With our which, Saotome? You are such a hopeless prude!) {Must have stones!} (Red, why I am suddenly feeling the urge to swallow a rock?) (You got me, Saotome! It's the weirdest goddamned thing I ever heard of! Are you sure we aren't just having a nightmare?) (I wish!) {There! That will do nicely!} Tatsu-Ranma lumbered over to a statue of Principal Kuno and pushed it over, then he raked it with the five claws in his left forefoot. The hard, gray granite of the statue broke up into clean-edged pieces. The on-looking crowds began cheering wildly. {Granite is good!} (Saotome! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE EATING A STATUE OF KUNO's DADDY!) (We're not eatin' it! We're just swallowing pieces of it.) (What's the difference?) (I don't know! There just is!) The cheering stopped as members of the crowd felt the sudden urge to get in out of the cold rain. On the far end of the field, Doctor Tofu and Konatsu were the only ones left with fully functioning minds. "I thought so!" Tofu said, as they all stared at TatsuRanma consuming the broken statue. "What's that, Tofu-sensei?" Konatsu asked. "Dragons have gizzards." "Huh?" "Their teeth are not made for chewing, so like birds and crocodilians, they have gizzards." "Ah, I see," Konatsu said. "So Saotome-dono is just filling his crop?" "Exactly." "You knew?" Nabiki asked. "Oh, hello, Nabiki!" Tofu said nervously. "I didn't realize you were here." "You knew this was happening to Ranma," Nabiki asked in an ominous voice, "and you didn't tell anyone?" Tofu Ono suddenly found himself being stared at by several pairs of very hostile eyes. "I can explain!" Tofu exclaimed, as he began flapping his arms and making warding gestures. "I think that would be wise, Tou-chan," Kasumi said in best, mother-disapproves-of-you voice. "I wasn't sure that I believed it!" Tofu said, sounding frantic. "Even Ko Lon was having a hard time believing it. This hasn't happened to anyone that we know about in last thousand years!" "So what exactly HAS happened, Sensei?" Nabiki asked Tofu with a hard edge in her voice. "In essence? It's a combination of Ranma's training, his talent, and the stress he's been under. The Joketsu call it the Gift of the Cold Dragon. He will be stuck in this form for only a few days." Nodoka's hard stare left Tofu and focused upon Genma's face while everyone else seem to relax a little. Genma suddenly realized that Nodoka was staring at him and flinched. Nabiki glanced at Akane. She was shivering from the cold and crying, but her eyes had not left Ranma. Nabiki sighed then asked Tofu another question. "So why didn't you say something about this before now?" "I had only just found out about it," Tofu said with a grimace, "and I could not be certain that it was really going to happen. Ko Lon did not expect it to happen this quickly. I wasn't going to say anything until I had done some more tests and the scrolls Ko Lon had sent for arrived from China." The faces staring at Tofu remained grim, but no longer looked as though their owners were thinking about rope and tree limbs. Tofu breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief. Over at the paddy wagon, things were going a little better. Happosai had backed into
his assigned corner of the truck without being told to do so. The armed officers followed him inside. Shirikawa and Ohga followed them, then locked the doors. Both men were shaking from the cold and from what they had seen. "You guys could at least let me congratulate my student on his victory," Happosai said with an evil smirk. Shirikawa's and Ohga's hair stood right straight up on end. They exchanged a quick glance at one another, then drew their handguns and joined the other officers in pointing their weapons at Happosai. The sergeant banged on the side of the truck. The driver started its engine and drove off. The ride back to Tokyo's central jail was long, silent and grim. Except that Happosai found Shirikawa's and Ohga's discomfiture highly amusing. ------------------- "So my son will be a dragon forever?" Nodoka asked Tofu. "Yes, I am afraid so," Tofu said. "There will be no going back for Ranma after this, but he should be able to return to human form in a few days." "But is he a human or a dragon?" Nodoka asked. "Believe, Saotome-san," Tofu said in a sad voice, "He is very much a human being. It's just that he is now a human on a much larger scale." "He does not look very human at the moment!" Nodoka said, sounding as though she were in pain. "Is he manly, Nodoka?" Genma asked his wife. Nodoka looked across the field where the Akane, Nabiki and Ukyou stood around Tatsu-Ranma, stroking his scales and tugging at his beard, then closed her eyes and shivered. The combination of shock and the cold damp air was beginning to overwhelm her. "He still attracts the ladies, doesn't he?" Nodoka said with a sigh. "If we aren't going to go over and congratulate Ranma on his victory, why don't we get in out of this weather, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said with gentle steel in her voice. Nodoka nodded her head. As they left the school grounds, Mu Suu came running up to them. He was wearing all-weather gear and carrying an umbrella. He stopped and bowed to Nodoka, then to Kasumi, but ignored the men. "The Honored Elder of the Joketsu asks if you would care to join her for an early supper, Honored Ladies." Nodoka and Kasumi exchanged glances. "We are greatly honored," Nodoka said to Mu Suu. He ran around behind the two women, opened the umbrella so that both Nodoka and Kasumi were in its shelter, but was himself careful not to allow his head beneath it. This of course, was a way of showing respect to the two women. The three men glanced at one another, shrugged their shoulders and followed along behind. "When in Rome," Tofu said. "This isn't Rome!" Genma grumbled as he shared his own umbrella with Tofu. He obviously had not liked being crowded away from his wife by Mu Suu. "Are you willing to try explaining that to Ko Lon, Saotome?" Soun asked, then caught Tofu's eye and winked. "Well, I guess you have a point there, Tendo-kun," Genma said, "I hadn't looked at it from quite that perspective." "Besides that," Tofu said enthusiastically, "she makes the best bowl of noodles in town." Thus considerably cheered, the three men trooped along behind the odd looking trio in the lead, doing their best to ignore the cold rain running down their necks. ------------------- "The truck is on its way, Ranma," Nabiki said as she closed the cellular telephone. "Will a side of beef and a big tuna be enough to hold you?" "I think so, Nabiki," Tatsu-Ranma rumbled, somehow managing to sound embarrassed. Akane giggled. "Now I know why you always ate like a horse, Ran- chan!" Ukyo said with a teasing smile. "Please, Ukyou!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled. "Don't say horse." "Why?" "It makes the hunger...worse," Tatsu-Ranma said. Ukyou gave Tatsu-Ranma a horrified stare. "You wouldn't really eat a horse, would you, Ran- chan?" "A horse and rider would just about make a good meal," Tatsu-Ranma said, then his stomach rumbled. "This body has odd tastes." "The rider, too?" Ukyou nearly shrieked. "Only if she were pretty," Nabiki said. "Right, Saotome?" Tatsu-Ranma glanced at Akane. She put her hands on her hips. "Well, Ranma?" Tatsu-Ranma winced. Nabiki grinned as Ukyou put her hand to her mouth in an effort to stifle a laugh. Akane was careful to hide her face from Ranma, but her shoulders shook. "The more things change..." Nabiki said softly with a shake of the head. "You guys should get in out of this rain," Tatsu-Ranma said, sounding concerned. "Hey! We aren't going anywhere without our Great Protector!" Nabiki said cheerfully. "Isn't that right, Akane?" Akane was still having trouble saying anything and just nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah!"
Ukyou said, chiming in on the act. "You never know, we might be attacked by a slavering Kuno or something!" Tatsu-Ranma snorted. The three girls laughed. Konatsu appeared, seemingly from nowhere at all, bearing three umbrellas. The girls squealed with delight and quickly made use of them, Ukyou insisting that Konatsu share hers. It was at that moment that the delivery truck pulled up. "Stay very still, Ranma," Akane cautioned. "We don't want to scare them away." "Excuse me," the driver called out, then leered at the three girls, "but would any of you know where a Nabiki Tendo is?" "That's me," Nabiki said. "You ordered a side of beef and a large tuna, right?" the driver asked, making it very obvious he liked Nabiki's looks. "Yes," Nabiki said. "Where do you want them?" "Right here," Nabiki said with a smirk. "They're for my pet dragon." "You are going to sacrifice a hundred-thousand yen worth of beef and tuna to a statue?" "He isn't a statue," Nabiki said, "and this is fodder, not a sacrifice." "Oh, yeah?" the man asked, undressing Nabiki with his eyes. "Has he had his shots?" "Yes," Nabiki said quite seriously, "he has. Are you going to unload my order?" "Yeah, if this really is where you want my load, this where I'll give to ya," the driver said, wagging his eyebrows at Nabiki. "It is," Nabiki told the man, remaining unruffled. The driver and his helper brought out a side of beef, dropped it on the sidewalk, then fetched a large tuna from the back of the truck. Nabiki paid them in cash, then signed their bill of lading. The driver tried to sneak a peek down the front of Nabiki's blouse while she did so. "You know, Tendo-san," the driver said with a smart- alec leer as he handed Nabiki her copy. "if you had told us this order was for a dragon, one of us could have ridden a horse over here for him." "Not a good idea," Nabiki said coldly as she tucked the paperwork into her purse. "Oh, yeah?" the driver asked. "Why not?" "Because I never eat a horse without having the rider for dessert!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled, then looked at the driver and smiled. The man did not try to run. He simply keeled over. His helper grabbed him by the collar and began dragging him towards the delivery truck. "He's new around here, isn't he?" Tatsu-Ranma asked, then took a huge bite out of the one and a half meter long, blue fin tuna. His teeth made horrible crunching noises as the sliced through the scales and bones of the big fish. The unconscious driver, his helper, and the truck left so fast they seemed to vanish into thin air. "Whoa!" Ukyou exclaimed. "I didn't realize the butcher shop had a transporter beam." Akane hit Ranma on the nose with her number four mallet. "What was that for?" Tatsu-Ranma asked in a plaintive rumble. Nabiki chuckled softly. Akane's mallet seemed to be effective whether it actually hurt Ranma or not. "Don't be scaring the deliverymen, baka!" Akane said in a scolding voice. "Why not?" Tatsu-Ranma asked in a hurt rumble. "He was bein' a jerk!" "How long are you going to be like this, Ranma?" Akane asked. "Um, I'm not sure." Tatsu-Ranma said, Onna-Ranma's voice. "Then you are going to need something to eat tomorrow, right?" Akane asked. "I'm sorry, Akane," Tatsu-Ranma said using his girlish voice again and sounding very contrite. "I'm new to the dragon business, okay?" "Finish your supper, Ranma." "Yes, dear," Tatsu-Ranma said in a very meek rumble, then gobbled up the rest of the tuna. Ukyou and Nabiki collapsed in one another's arms in an effort to stay on their feet. "He sounded just like his daddy!" Ukyou squealed. "I know!" Nabiki said, gasping for breath. "He eats like his daddy, too!" Akane said in disapproving tones, but she made sure Ranma could see her smile while she said it. Tatsu-Ranma went to work on the side of beef. The girls had to work at not showing any discomfiture, but they somehow managed.
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Comes The Cold Dragon Ko Lon helped Xian Pu rush through the process of setting three places at a table near the door, then they worked like mad to set three places at a table near the counter. Xian Pu laid a large towel on the back of each chair at this table. Ko Lon stretched out a set of screens to obscure this second table from the remainder of the restaurant. The meal they set out at this table was smaller, but more sumptuous than the one laid out on the table near the door. This meal would be for herself, Kasumi, and Nodoka. Ko Lon cast an eye upon their handiwork and decided that it was satisfactory. "All right, Xian Pu," Ko Lon said with a nod of her head, "you may fill the foot pans now." "Yes, Great-Grandmother," Xian Pu said, then made her way rapidly towards the kitchen. "Don't bring them out until the ladies are seated, my dear!" "Yes, Great-Grandmother!" Ko Lon waited calmly while speculating on how things would go. She could easily find herself knee-deep in negotiations over Ranma's nuptials, or the whole thing might turn out to be nothing more than a mere preliminary. It all depended upon the state of the Saotome woman's mind. If Nodoka was in a sufficient state of shock, she might well be willing to accept a reasonable offer from the Joketsu. Given the Japanese penchant for conformity, how many Japanese girls would want to be burdened with a dragon for a husband? How many Japanese women would want such a burden for a son? Heroes and myths are always a good deal more comfortable when viewed from a safe distance. The door chimed as Mu Suu opened it, breaking Ko Lon's reverie. One look at Nodoka told Ko Lon she could relax. There were not going to be any serious negotiations today. Nodoka's old-fashioned hairstyle and kimono spoke volumes. The family sword she carried spoke even louder. Louder still however were Nodoka's calm demeanor and steely gaze. Ko Lon found a smile playing at her lips despite it all. A glance was all she needed to understand where the steel in Ranma's soul came from, not to mention the source of his adamantine will. Nabiki's description of Nodoka as a formidable woman was right on the mark. Razor sharp steel clothed in velvet is this one. Such a woman would never allow herself to be drawn into serious negotiations at the drop of a hat. The best Ko Lon could hope for today was to open the preliminaries. "This way, if you would, please, ladies!" Ko Lon called out in a cheerful voice as she indicated the table behind the screen. Both Kasumi and Nodoka looked greatly relieved. "I have warm, dry towels waiting for you, here," Ko Lon added while maintaining her welcoming smile. "Have a seat, gentlemen," Mu Suu said to the three men in a low voice, indicating the table near the door. "I'll go fetch some towels for you." "Thank you, Mu Suu," Tofu said softly. "That is very kind of you, son," Tendo said in his friendliest voice. "Ummph!" Genma noised around a mouthful of noodles. "From father to son," Mu Suu muttered to himself in Chinese as he stripped off his rain gear. "Elder Ko Lon," Kasumi said, "Please allow me to introduce you to Saotome Nodoka, Head of Clan Saotome and mother of Saotome Ranma, now the Cold Dragon of Nerima." Ko Lon found herself laughing inwardly at Kasumi's proud description of Ranma. It was the one of the last things she expected, even though perhaps she should have. "Aunt Nodoka, this is Ko Lon, Honored Elder of the Joketsuzoku, great-grandmother of Xian Pu, who claims your son's hand in marriage by rite of combat." "I am honored to meet you at last, Elder Ko Lon," Nodoka said with a polite bow. "Thank you most kindly for inviting us in out of the weather." "Not at all, Saotome no Mae (Dame Saotome)," Ko Lon replied and bowed her head in kind, "We are deeply honored that you grace us with your presence." Both women bowed to one another again. "Won't you have a seat?" Ko Lon asked. Nodoka and Kasumi gratefully accepted the offer and began patting their faces dry with the warm towels. Both sighed with great relief. "Warm water for feet, Honored Mother-in-law!" Xian Pu said as she gently placed a pan of fresh, hot water at Nodoka's feet. Ko Lon flashed a smile at
Nodoka and Kasumi as she served them tea. "Thank you, child," Nodoka said, then flashed a smile at Xian Pu. "That is very kind of you." Nodoka visibly relaxed as she slipped her cold, bare feet into the pan of hot water. "I go get water for Tendo-san, now." "You needn't trouble, Xian Pu!" Kasumi said as Xian Pu left. "Is no trouble," Xian Pu said cheerfully over her shoulder. She quickly returned with a pan of water for Kasumi, who despite her protestations found herself greatly relieved by it. "Try the tea, ladies," Ko Lon implored. "I think you will find it most satisfactory." "Thank you, Honored Elder," Kasumi said. "Xian Pu?" "Yes, Great-Grandmother?" "See that Mu Suu is looking after our other guests, would you please?" "Yes, Great-grandmother." Ko Lon joined Kasumi and Nodoka as they dug into their meal, giving them a period of silence in which to recover from their exposure to the vile weather and the shock of Ranma's change in form. She had felt the powerful wave of ki that washed over Nerima during the fight and did not need to see Ranma to know what had happened to him. As she struggled with a way to broach the subject, Nodoka surprised her by unexpectedly breaking the silence. "Tell me, Honored Elder. What is the exact nature of your great- granddaughter's claim on my son? Is she with child?" Ko Lon was taken back a bit by Nodoka's last question. The woman sounded positively hopeful. Was she really so eager to have her son prove himself a man? Among the Joketsuzoku, Ranma's behavior would be considered manly to the point of frigidity. To the Joketsu, a real man did not throw himself into the bed of any and every woman that crooked her finger. Here in Japan, among his own people, Ranma was a peculiarity and sadly, peculiarities were disliked and mistrusted in Japan. Doubtlessly, the boy would be better off among the Joketsu than among his own. "Unfortunately, no," Ko Lon answered with a chuckle, "and not because my great-granddaughter wanted it otherwise. Your son has demonstrated incredible self-control and constraint for such a young man. He has been quite chary with his pillow." Nodoka sighed while looking vaguely disappointed. Ko Lon went on to explain the nature of Xian Pu's claim in detail. Nodoka's face became a mask of great concern as Ko Lon related the tale. By the time Ko Lon had finished, Nodoka's eyes were glittering with anger. "This is a most serious matter, Elder Ko Lon," Nodoka said in a very quiet voice. "I am very sorry this has happened." "I am relieved to hear that you see it as a serious matter, Dame Saotome," Ko Lon said, "but I cannot see it as an occasion for unhappiness. The Joketsuzoku needs young men like your son. We would be overjoyed to make him one of our own." The restaurant became quiet enough to make the soft rain falling outside sound like a waterfall, as the men ceased eating and talking. Nodoka leaned on the back of her chair for a moment of silent thought before speaking. "I am very flattered that you think so highly of my son, but as you may or may not know, he has been away from home training these past ten years." "So I have been informed, Dame Saotome." "Then you would understand when I tell you that I am loathe to see him leave home again." "This, of course, is perfectly understandable, Dame Saotome." Nodoka's eyes glittered with humor now instead of anger. "Would your great-granddaughter accept my husband's head in lieu of my son's hand in marriage?" Choking sounds came from beyond the ladies' screen, followed by a series of rapid, hollow thumps. "Don't worry, Saotome-kun," Soun said in a too-loud whisper, "I don't think Xian Pu will settle for your head. You are entirely too bald." Ko Lon clamped down hard with her self-control in order to stifle a belly laugh before answering. "I would be more than happy to bring the offer to her attention, Dame Saotome, although I think it unlikely that she will accept such an inordinately generous offer." "On the off chance that she should find it acceptable," Nodoka said, raising her voice ever so slightly for Genma's benefit. "Will she want it delivered, or would she prefer the honor of taking it herself?" There were more choking sounds heard from beyond the screen and Ko Lon found it impossible to stop her face from turning red. "I will be sure to inquire as to which option she prefers, Dame Saotome." "Good," Nodoka said. "When may we expect an answer from her?" "Well," Ko Lon said in a speculative tone as she derived great pleasure from the noises being made across the room, "I think we should perhaps give her an adequate amount of time to consider the matter. Would a
fortnight be too long for you?" "She may take more time than that if she needs it," Nodoka said calmly, "We must not rush her into making a hasty decision." A loud gasp could be heard from the far side of the screen, then at least one stifled chuckle. The chuckle sounded as though it were Tofu's. "Oh, I think that should be more than enough time," Ko Lon said with a huge grin as her lips quivered on the edge of a riotous laugh. "I will give you a call on that day and let you know if she has decided or if she needs more time." "Thank you, Honored Elder," Nodoka said, sounding sincere. "Your help in this matter is greatly appreciated." "If I may be so bold, I suggest we both give consideration to other options during this interim," Ko Lon said. "Just in case Xian Pu does not require such a heavy price of your family." "I find that a very wise suggestion, Honored Elder," Nodoka said, with a serious face and a nod of her head. "Something shall be done to satisfy your great-granddaughter's honor. You may rest assured of that." Ko Lon instantly recognized Nodoka's genuine sincerity and realized that unless she played her cards carefully, a stuffed panda might well be all that the Joketsu ever received for her and Xian Pu's efforts. Whatever offer they made, it would have to be acceptable to this incredibly hard woman. She wondered if it might be wise to simply adopt the whole of the Saotome Clan as part of the Joketsuzoku. While Genma might well prove to be a significant downside to such a deal, Nodoka and Ranma would be well worth the price of any trouble he might cause. Of course, they could demand such an adoption as well as Genma's head. That might actually work out quite well. She would have to think it over carefully once the scrolls she had requested of Revered Grandmother arrived and she had a chance to read them. "We are humbled by your respect of our customs, Dame Nodoka," Ko Lon said with a bow. "And we by your forbearance, Honored Elder," Nodoka replied with a carefully measured bow. "It is still raining outside, dear," Ko Lon said in less formal tones. "Would you allow me to call cab for you?" This was an overwhelmingly generous offer, given that cabbies in Tokyo habitually charged at least double their normal rates during bad weather. "Oh that would be a godsend, Elder Ko Lon," Nodoka said with great relief. "So tell me, Tofu," Tendo said in the best of his hale and hearty tones, "Have you tried Kirin's latest saki?" "Well no, I didn't realize they brewed saki, Tendo-san." "Well it's the latest thing! And let me tell you, it is the best stuff I ever drank! Would you like to try some?" "Well," Tofu said, "it is a Friday night. Why not?" "Good!" Tendo said cheerfully. "Bear a hand with Genma here and we'll go knock back a bottle or two!" "Good idea, Tendo-san!" Tofu said, doing his best to sound enthused. The three women snickered as they listened to the sounds of the two men grunting, followed by the scraping sounds of Genma being dragged through the door. "Gerrower!" Genma noised when the rain invoked his curse. Shortly after the men's voices faded into the distance, a car pulled up outside the Nekohanten and honked. "There's our ride, Aunt Nodoka!" "Good night, Elder Ko Lon," Nodoka said. "Your kindness this evening will never be forgotten." "It has been a memorable visit," Ko Lon said with a laugh. "Thank you for coming." Mu Suu followed the two women outside with an umbrella. "Great-Grandmother?" Xian Pu asked in her native tongue. "Yes, child?" "I have no need whatsoever for the panda-man's head." "I know that, Xian Pu," Ko Lon answered in their ancient dialect, "but make no mistake, Saotome-san would be more than happy to cut Genma's head off and give it to you if it meant her son could stay here at home." "I don't want to stay here! It's too hot in the summer, damp in the winter, and I hate the noise. I want to go back to our mountains." "We may not have a choice in that matter, child." "Eh?" "Things are changing at home." "Why? Has something gone wrong?" Xian Pu asked sounding deeply alarmed. "Patience, child," Ko Lon said in a gentle voice. "I am waiting on word from Revered Grandmother. Once I know what her plans are, I will be able to tell you more." "I hope this isn't going to take too long." "No, it won't be too long, Xian Pu," Ko Lon said, being careful to keep her gentle tone. "Now let's clean this place up. I'll have Mu Suu make your deliveries on Forges Street this evening." "Yes, Great-Grandmother." ------------------Tatsu-Ranma polished off the side of beef, then settled to the ground with a loud
groan. "Man, I needed that! Thanks, Nabiki," he said in his Onna-Ranma voice. "You're welcome, Ranma," Nabiki said. "How do you feel?" "Sleepy," Tatsu-Ranma said, then rewarded the girls and Konatsu with a toothy yawn. "I feel like I could sleep for a month." "Think you could stay awake long enough to make it back to the clinic, Ranma?" Akane asked. "I need to get my coat." "Sure," Tatsu-Ranma said, then struggled back up onto his four feet. His four companions started laughing. "What's so funny?" Tatsu Ranma rumbled in his dragon's voice. "You're so full you look like a snake that just swallowed a big rabbit, Ran-chan!" Ukyo said, then giggled. "Huh?" Tatsu-Ranma noised, then craned his neck so that he could get a glimpse of his midsection. "Your belly nearly drags the ground," Akane said. "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled, the gave out a windowrattling burp. "It's almost as though he were pregnant," Nabiki said with a giggle. "Ah, geez!" Tatsu-Ranma said with more than a little whine in his OnnaRanma voice. "Did'ja hafta say that?" The girls stopped giggling and broke up laughing at him. "We should be going," Konatsu said. "It's getting colder and it will be dark soon." "Ranma?" Akane asked. "Yeah, Akane?" "Can you go into the Umisen-ken while you are in this form?" "I think I can manage it. Why?" "It might save us some trouble if people can't see you on our way to the clinic." "Yeah, I guess you're right, Akane," Tatsu-Ranma said, then disappeared. "Wow!" Konatsu exclaimed. He was deeply impressed by this. He could vanish, but not the way Tatsu-Ranma had just done it. "Let's go, guys," Nabiki said. "My feet feel like blocks of ice." Tatsu-Ranma broke the Umisen-ken once they reached the clinic, then slithered into the narrow green space between the clinic and the low wall, which surrounded it. Konatsu and the girls ran inside and up the stairs to the living quarters Ranma and Akane had been using for the past week. Akane stayed only just long enough to throw on a coat then went back downstairs to stay with her fiance. "Go ahead and shower, Konatsu," Ukyo said. "Nabiki or I will go next." Then ninja answered with a silent nod of the head and disappeared into the bathroom. "So how did the Cha No Yu, go?" Nabiki asked Ukyo after Akane left. "Perfect!" Ukyo declared, then explained how things ended. "Oh, no!" Nabiki said. "Why? What's wrong?" "Nothing's settled!" Nabiki said. "Sure it is," Ukyo said, clearly fighting for self-control. "Ran-chan's free to marry whoever he wants, now. If he asks me, I'll say no." "But that still leaves the trouble over your dowry and honor open to question, Ukyo," Nabiki said. "Neither Ranma nor Akane is going to be happy with that." "Well you know, I think that really should be between me and his dad, or maybe me and his mother." "Are you kidding? Nodoka is ready to kill for a grandchild. I know what they'll want you to do and I don't think my baby sister will go for it." "Don't worry, Nabiki," Ukyo said firmly, "I won't go for that either." "Are you sure, Ukyo?" Nabiki asked. "Well, so long as Nodoka makes the offer while I'm sober, anyway." Nabiki gave Ukyo a crooked grin. Konatsu came out of the bath wearing a dry yukata, interrupting Nabiki's train of thought. "Where did you find that?" Nabiki asked. "Oh, I always carry one with me," Konatsu answered. "You never know what you might need when you are a ninja." "Go ahead and shower, Nabiki-san," Ukyo said, "I'll start us something to eat." "Why don't you shower before you start cooking, Ukyo," Nabiki said, "You must be freezing." "And you aren't?" "I can shower while you cook," Nabiki said, "There is only one person in the world that cooks worse than I do." "You're that bad?" "Let's just say I'm a very distant second to Akane for World's Worst Cook, okay?" "You convinced me," Ukyo said. "I'll go next." Nabiki waited for Ukyo to start the water running before talking to Konatsu. "So how is she holding up?" "I'm not sure," Konatsu said. "Sometimes she won't react to something like this for a couple of days, then she goes to pieces." Nabiki heaved a great sigh. "You could be a lot more help to her, Konatsu." "How? I love, Ukyo. I'm already doing everything I can for her." "Do you love her enough to stop cross-dressing?" "I...I have thought about it. Do you think it would do any good?" "Trust me on this one, okay? You're around Ukyo day and night. You are as good or better at the Art as Ranma is ... " Konatsu shook his head no. "You're comparing apples and oranges. I can't do some of the things Ranma does, but he could probably learn to do what I
know." "Are you telling me you couldn't learn from Ranma?" "Oh, well sure I could, but ... " "What?" "Ah ... well ... " "Look, Konatsu, the only thing keeping you and Ukyo apart is that she has never come to think of you as a man." "Huh?" "Well look at you! Look at her! Why do you think she has never been able to get anywhere with Ranma? He thinks of Ukyo as a boyhood friend. One of the guys to be exact." "So you think Ukyo is the same way by me?" "I'd give you very good odds on it." "I'll ... it's a big change for me ... I don't know what sort of ... " "Tell you what, Konatsu. How about you and I go shopping together Sunday? The first thing you need to do is to change the way you dress." "I don't know, I don't want to leave Ukyo by herself. She might become depressed and you have never seen what she's like while she's down." "Is it bad?" "I stopped her from hurting herself on accident twice. She drinks a little too much when she gets depressed." "I guess we'll take her with us then. I'll tease her into helping you choose your new wardrobe." "Do you think she would?" "Once I get her started? You bet. She knows more about guys clothes than I do anyway." The water stopped running. "Just let me handle it, okay?" Nabiki asked in a whisper. Konatsu answered with a nod of his head. "Oh, that felt good!" Ukyo said as she came out of the shower. "I had no idea how cold I had gotten." Akane chose that moment to return from downstairs. She was shivering very badly. "How's Ranma?" Nabiki and Ukyo chorused. "He's sound asleep," Akane said between chatters. "He might be a dragon, but that fight took a lot out of him." "Come on, Sis," Nabiki said, nodding her head towards the bath. "I'll scrub your back, you scrub mine." "Anything to get warm!" Akane said with yet another, involuntary clack of her teeth. Nabiki had to help Akane remove her clothing once they were in the bath. "Oh, God that's hot!" Akane shouted as she stepped beneath the shower stream. "Do you want me to make it cooler?" Nabiki asked. "NO!" "So how's Ranma?" Nabiki asked. "Is he really asleep?" "He might be," Akane said. "He's worried sick about how his mother is taking all this. He might have been faking sleep just so I would come inside." "I can't blame him for wanting you to get out of the cold," Nabiki said. "And I know he's worried about what his mom thinks. You wouldn't think a dragon lady like Nodoka would mind having a dragon for a son, but then she wanted him to be a 'man among men,' didn't she?" Akane nodded her head. "Now that he's an ambulatory myth, she wouldn't even come over and congratulate him for winning." "I don't think you can call dragons a myth anymore, Nabiki," Akane said. "It's not like Ranma is the only dragon we've run into. Besides, you spent what was it? Two hundred thousand feeding one today." "Well you've got a point there, I'll have to admit," Nabiki said thoughtfully. "How are _you_ holding up?" "I don't know," Akane said. "I guess I'm more worried that he might not be able to change back into his human form than anything else." "That would be a real shame," Nabiki said sounding sad. "It looked to me like he had gotten control of the curse during the fight." "Ranma says he's thinks he might have, but he can't be sure. He was pretty busy." "Yes, he was!" Nabiki said. "At least our house was spared this time." "Hey, that's right! They didn't even do much damage to the school this time," Akane said. "Are you ready for a turn under the shower?" Nabiki, like Akane, did not wait to be asked twice. After luxuriating beneath the warm stream of water for a moment, something occurred to her. "Akane, what was the name of that place where Ranma fought Safuron?" "Jusendo." "That was the name of the cave, right? What was the name of the mountain the cave is in?" "Oh, aah, Kenseizan." [Fist Perfection Mountain] "Kenseizan. Kenseizan, " Nabiki repeated to herself as she recalled kanji necessary write out the mountain's name. The character for "ken" could be read to mean fist, but it very often meant technique, especially when the use of one's ki was involved. The character for "sei" could be taken to mean "perfection" or "essence" or even both at the same time, depending upon context. "Kenseizan! Of course!" "What?" "Don't you see, Akane? Jusenkyo is a training ground all right, but it was a training ground where you were supposed to learn how to perfect the use of your ki. That's why they named the source of the springs Fist Perfection Mountain." "Oh, my God!" Akane exclaimed. "Why didn't we see it before now?" "Because we never thought there might be any sort of cure besides a contradictory
curse, Akane," Nabiki said, "but if Ranma has gotten even partial control of his curse, it's the only thing that makes sense." "Nabiki, it _is_ the only thing that makes sense," Akane said. "Those springs are painfully cold. The cold water alone is more than enough incentive to do well in ordinary training. The so-called curses are what makes the place special." "I see your point," Nabiki said. "Being dunked in bitterly cold water several times a day would make just about anyone want to improve their skill, but it's the curse that must be mastered." "The curses mean that whoever created Jusenkyo intended it to be a place where only very advanced martial artists would come to train." "I'll bet that it was by invitation only in the beginning and only the extremely talented were ever invited." "Now all it takes is commitment," Akane said, sounding a little bitter, "or the wrong enemy." "It also explains why Ko Lon hasn't given up on Ranma and gone home, Akane." "Huh? Ko Lon? Ko Lon doesn't want to marry Ranma." "You don't think Xian Pu would have stayed here all this time without Ko Lon, do you? What would she have done for a living? Rob people? Ko Lon wants Ranma for her tribe. To her, he's prime breeding stock. It isn't just Ranma's strength and skill she's interested in. She wants to breed his talent into her tribe." "Whatever you do, don't say anything like that to Nodoka, okay? She might try to put him out to stud." "Now why didn't I think of that?" Nabiki asked in the cheerful tone she that usually got when she had hit upon a good moneymaking scheme. "We wouldn't even need to send him to China to do that." "NABIKI! Ranma is NOT a horse!" "Oh? Why the funny name then?" "Grrrr!" "Seriously, Akane, think about it. Ranma is Nodoka's only child and the only heir to his school. Nodoka is probably more worried about the continuation of her family line than she is anything else. It would explain a lot." "Including that stupid contract she's been all too willing to execute?" "Hmm, all or nothing," Nabiki said, "you're right. That doesn't make any sense at all. There has to be more to it than what we've discovered so far." "It makes perfect sense if you view yourself and your son as nothing more than breeding stock," Akane said glumly. "Animal breeders very often kill their inferior stock to keep the bloodline strong." Nabiki tried to stop her gasp before it got out but failed. She looked up at her younger sister. Akane had become fascinated with the tiles of the shower floor. "Akane, I could probably get you out of this engagement if you want out." Akane shook her head no. "Are you sure, little sister?" "He chose me, Nabiki," Akane said barely loud enough to be heard above the running shower. "Ranma has chosen me above all else, even The Art." This took Nabiki back more than a little. Has she been sharing Ranma's futon, Nabiki wondered? Why else would Akane be so certain? "What makes you believe that, Akane?" "Because I tried to seduce him and he wouldn't let me," Akane said in a tight little voice. "He said he wanted to save that for our wedding night." Nabiki's mind reeled at this. "Did he say he would give up The Art so he could marry you?" "He said he can't teach me until he's licensed to teach," Akane answered. "He said that if Happosai wouldn't be fair about it, that he would quit the Anything Goes School and go to one of the Koryu." Nabiki gasped again. Koryu are the very exclusive, very traditional and hard to get into schools of martial arts. Most of them have been around for seven hundred years or more. Strictly Japanese in tradition, they teach primarily weapons skills, but Ranma's thinking was obvious, to Nabiki. A license to teach is a license to teach. It need not necessarily be from his own family's school. Once licensed, he could teach the skills of both schools, so long as he did not claim title to his family school. More importantly Ranma could found his own school independently of his family line. The license from a Koryu would give him all the credibility he needed to found a completely new school and the beginnings of a new tradition. Nabiki found herself placing one hand against the wall of the shower in order to stop the world from spinning. Who would have expected Ranma Saotome to think that far ahead? "Is he sure he could do that, Akane?" "He has an open invitation to come back from more than one sensei, Nabiki," Akane said with heartfelt pride in her voice. "Most of them understand that Ranma is not anything like his father." "Where does he plan to go if things don't work out?" "You don't need to know." Now Nabiki was
thoroughly impressed. Not just with Ranma, but with her younger sister as well. Ranma the "dumb jock" and her little sister, also "a dumb jock," had come up with a secret, secondary plan of action on their own. What's more, they understood the necessity of concealing it. It made Nabiki's regrets that much sharper. Ranma was now completely out of her reach and so long as Akane lived, he would remain that way. Mission accomplished, girl! she thought to herself bitterly. You did real good. "Are you all right, Nabiki?" "Ah ... I think I had better get something to eat," Nabiki said. "I'm feeling a little light-headed." "What did you do, skip lunch?" "Thanks to Tarou, yes." "It must be the smell of Ukyo's cooking getting to you," Akane said with her prize-winning smile. "It's starving me to death." "It does smell good. Let's go!" ------------------- Within in minutes of arriving at Tendo-ke, Kasumi and Nodoka found themselves happily ensconced in a furo of very hot water. Well, perhaps more accurately they were comfortably ensconced. Nodoka was not particularly happy. She closed her eyes, then placed her cold towel over her upper face in order to hide her tears. "Are you all right, Aunt Nodoka?" "Genma has made a monster of my son," Nodoka answered as she began to shake. "Perhaps we should let Ranma return to China with the Joketsu. To insist that he marry into your clan would not be fair, nor reasonable." Kasumi then had a most unusual and disagreeable experience. She frowned. "I cannot find it in my heart to blame my son for his condition," Nodoka said, choking back a sob. "It is not his fault." "He is _not_ a monster, Aunt Nodoka." "Please, Kasumi-chan, do not patronize me! What else could you possibly call that scaly thing I saw gulping down the pieces of a shattered statue?" "Your son! Ranma Saotome, defender of home and kin." Nodoka removed her towel and gave Kasumi a hard stare. "You should be very proud of him, you know," Kasumi said, meeting Nodoka's gaze without so much as batting an eye. "Ranma became what he needed to become in order to defeat a real monster and send it packing." "You think I am being unfair." "Yes, Aunt Nodoka. I do." "Do you have any idea what our neighbors are going to think about this?" "I don't know," Kasumi said, "and I don't care. I believe they should be grateful to him with the likes of Pansuto Tarou roaming about. Tarou is a monster in both his forms. Ranma is not monstrous in any form" "How can you say that, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked, choking with emotion. "He became a long... scaly ... THING!" "He became dragon, yes. A monster? No. Ranma could have easily killed Tarou while in that form, but he let the boy live. Even though Ranma has good reason to want him dead, he let Tarou live." Nodoka put the towel over eyes, then leaned back against the tub. "Who is this Tarou fellow, anyway?" "He is a very naughty, power-lusting little boy that lives in China. He became that way because Happosai bathed him in the waters of Jusenkyo the day he was born, and gave him the name Pansuto. Unlike your son, Tarou allowed the foolishness of others turn him into a true monster. Ranma has faced every challenge thrown at him and managed to cling to his humanity. I am very proud of your son, even if you are not." Kasumi quavered with anger by the time she finished. Nodoka stared at the younger women in wide-eyed shock. "Rest assured that my father will never release Ranma from his promise to marry one of us," Kasumi said. "How do you know that, child?" "Because he knows he will spend his old age in hell if he does," Kasumi said. "And if both your sisters have doubts about marrying him?" "Then I will marry him!" Kasumi practically snapped. "Tendoke will live up to this commitment. We would be a shame to our entire clan if we did not. Ranma has done nothing to deserve belittlement from our clan or the Saotome!" "You must have great faith in Akane's love for him," Nodoka said, in a quiet, sly voice. "Yes, I do," Kasumi said. "And more than a little in Nabiki's as well" "Nabiki's?" Nodoka asked, sounding shocked. "Hadn't you noticed, Aunt Nodoka?" "Now that you mention it, I had noticed that she seems fond of Ranma in a way, but what of you, Kasumi-chan?" "He is everything I ever wished for in a little brother," Kasumi said with a smile. "I love him dearly. I would not choose to marry him, given a choice, but I will do what honor demands of me and my family." Kasumi paused and exchanged unflinching stares with Nodoka. "Besides," Kasumi said with a mild blush reaching her cheeks, "I do not believe I would find
being Ranma's wife that much of a burden." This was too much, even for the steely Nodoka Saotome. She began to weep without restraint. Kasumi did her best to comfort the older woman, even as she wondered what on earth could have possibly made Nodoka into what she had become. Kasumi could not know that Nodoka was feeling no shame, but wept from relief instead. The Saotome had always lived under harsh rules and in many ways, Nodoka was the perfect product of those rules. Nodoka's father had chosen Genma for her over other prospects for his cunning prowess as a Martial Artist. Other worries and considerations had been matters of secondary or little concern at all to him. Insofar as the grandson he would never meet was concerned, his decision was now being vindicated. Genma's best had done well by Ranma, yet Ranma seemed impervious to the worst of Genma's flawed influences. Her son was indeed proving himself a man among men. ------------------- Mu Suu finished the night delivery run along Forges Street without incident, returning to the Nekohanten shortly after midnight. Ko Lon, much to his alarm, called him over to a table and asked him to sit down. "What is it, Honored Elder?" "I need a favor of you, Mu Suu," Ko Lon said, "I want you to understand that you should feel free to say no. I would not blame you for refusing me in this." "What do you need done, Elder?" Mu Suu asked, feeling a lump of ice form in his stomach. Ko Lon NEVER asked anyone to do anything. She either ordered it done, or suggested that it should be done, or did whatever she wanted done herself, without ever mentioning it. This could not be good and he had little doubt that it had to do with Ranma Saotome turning into a dragon earlier in the day. They had all felt the powerful wave of ki as it washed over them when it happened and Ko Lon had explained in detail, making no attempt to obfuscate the facts. "I need you to go have a look at Ranma Saotome," Ko Lon said. "Is that all?" Mu Suu asked, sounding surprised. "I can do that in fifteen minutes or less." "No! You cannot," Ko Lon said emphatically. "The Saotome child is more dangerous than a troopship full of Musk right now. You must approach him without alarming him or arousing any additional suspicions in him." This gave Mu Suu a bit of a pause. "Saotome has always been dangerous, but he has always had great control," Mu Suu said. "Why do you think him so dangerous now?" "As with any dragon, he is worried about something happening to his treasure, Mu Suu," Ko Lon said. "And to make matters even more risky, this is his first night as a dragon. He has yet to become familiar with his new senses and power. He could easily do you great harm before either of you realized what was taking place." "Hmmm," Mu Suu said. "Then perhaps I should make an open approach by simply walking up to the clinic wall. Any attempt to be extra quiet would only alarm him." "That is my thinking as well, Mu Suu," Ko Lon said, sounding very pleased with the lanky Amazon. "Your ability to think does your family credit." "Thank you, Elder." "If you go, you must be prepared to dodge any of his strikes and retreat quickly," Ko Lon said. "You are not to fight him, even if it costs you your life." Mu Suu's jaw went slack. "I am very serious about this Mu Suu. Muko-dono could destroy half of Nerima before he became aware of what he was doing. Should he become angry with us, we would never be able to escape him," Ko Lon said. "You must understand how grave the risk is." "Why not just leave him alone then?" Mu Suu asked. "I would prefer to do that," Ko Lon said. "If I thought that the wisest course, I would leave him alone." "You want to know what he is thinking, don't you?" "Correct again, Mu Suu!" Ko Lon said. "I also want him to understand that we will not harm him or any of his family, especially she whom he treasures most at the moment." "By that I gather you mean Tendo-ke as well." "That I do. Be certain to tell him that we will not harm any of them in any way." "All right," Mu Suu said. "I think I'll walk rather than ride the bicycle. I will look considerably less threatening to him that way." Ko Lon thought about the way Xian Pu so often approached Ranma on a bicycle and nodded her head in appreciation of Mu Suu's forethought. "Whatever he does when you first approach him, Mu Suu, remain calm. A sudden movement might trigger his reflexes and they are far faster now than ever before, believe me." Mu Suu nodded his head. "If he shows himself, be sure to make note of how large he is in this form." "How big do you think he will be?" "I would be
surprised if he is as long as twenty meters," Ko Lon said, "but he has not held to the usual pattern according the information I have. He has made this transition much sooner than I had reason to expect." "You expected to hear from home before this happened, didn't you?" Ko Lon nodded her head. "Yes, I did. No one gifted by the Cold Dragon has ever made the transition this quickly and I haven't a clue as to why this has happened." "Could it have been the fight he got into today?" "Oh, I am quite sure that it was the trigger, but he should not have been able to make this change because of this single fight." "You did not see him fight Safuron, Ko Lon," Mu Suu said. "Saotome does whatever he thinks he must and the laws of nature be damned for all he cares." "You are that impressed by him?" "I am scared spitless of him," Mu Suu said, "and have been since we started our return trip from Jusenkyo." "Then you understand the risks involved," Ko Lon said. "Go with care Mu Suu. I will wait up for you." "One question before I go, Honored Elder." "Yes?" "Have you warned Xian Pu to stay away from him and the Tendo family?" "I have explained to her. You needn't be jealous of Ranma any longer." "You misjudge the gravity of my concerns, Honored Elder!" Mu Suu said as he adjusted his glasses. "The thought of a dragon falling into the throes of the nekoken gives me pause." Ko Lon paled at the thought of Ranma falling into the madness of the nekoken while a dragon. The very idea of such a thing fell into the same category as signing up to face the Legions of Doom upon the Har Meggido. After a moment's reflection, she decided signing up for Armageddon might be the more attractive prospect. At least you might have the chance to enlist an escort for crossing the Styx at Har Meggido. Such would not be the case if you faced a maddened Ranma in his draconian state. Mu Suu threw on his foul weather gear and left. The Nekohanten, normally a brightly lit and convivial abode suddenly seemed a cold and lonely place.
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Comes The Cold Dragon Comes the Cold Dragon: Part VIIb Revision 4 ------------------ (I cannot believe we see through people's clothes, Red!) (I don't think we were seeing through their clothes so much as they were shining through them.) (It ain't decent!) (Man, you are such a prude!) {{Pornography is a matter of geography, Oh Scarlet One.}} (More like a matter of topography if you ask me, Scales) (It ain't fair and it ain't decent for us to do that, Red!) (I don't think we can help it, Saotome. I think we see down into the infrared in this form.) (Infrared? Oh, yeah! I remember us readin' about that. Infrared passes through people's clothing.) (We read?) (Okay, okay! I remember what you read it about it. That better?) (Yes.) (I wonder if there is some way we can turn it off? I don't wanna look at my mom that way.) {{Can see differently, if needed.}} Tatsu-Ranma's view of his surroundings became dark and blurry. (Yech! Now we can't see at all, Scales!) (Oh, great! Just great. We either see through people's clothes or we're as blind as a Mousse.) {{If you would allow me to finish?}} (Wow! Look at this, Red.) (I know, Saotome. It's almost as though we are using binoculars. Let's look at something up close.) Tatsu-Ranma focused his vision upon a part of the nearby wall surrounding the clinic. It was brightly lit by light shining through one of the clinic's windows. (Well, we can't quite see as much as we would with a good microscope, Saotome.)
(No, but we'll never need a magnifying glass in this form, Red.) (I wish we could have done this when we were trying to read some of those old scrolls.) (No joke. Hey! We still can! We'll just borrow 'em from Pop and see if we can't read 'em while we're in this form.) (It's most likely a cookbook or something, Saotome.) {{_To Serve Man_, perhaps?}} (So, what if it is a cookbook, Red?) (I see your point. If we can crack those, there are a dozen other sets we'll be able to read.) (You know I never noticed how noisy this town is at night.) (It's our hearing I think, Saotome.) (Yeah, I think you're right.) (What's that noise way up the street to our left?) (There's only one person in Nerima who carries that much chain around on 'em, Red.) (Only if you don't count the worst of the hentai around here, Saotome. He's headed this way.) (Our sense of smell is a lot better, too.) (Something of a mixed blessing, if you ask me, Saotome.) (What'll we do about Mu Suu?) (Go easy on him, Saotome. Hear his heart? It sounds like he's been runnin' for two days straight.) (You know why he's here, dontcha?) (Yeah. The old ghoul sent him to check us out.) (Anybody else around we need to worry about?) (No one we know to be a problem, Saotome.) (Let's go out and meet him.) (Umisen-ken?) (Yeah.) Some sixty meters away, Mu Suu stopped and listened. He could not see anything to be alarmed about, but then he could seldom see well enough to count on his vision. His ears were warning him of a presence. Then his nose picked up the faint odor of ozone. He closed his eyes and concentrated upon what his skin could tell him. Something large was nearby. He could feel faint traces of heat coming from a large body and could hear muffled grinding noises, almost as though someone were jiggling a sack full of fist-sized stones. "Is that you, Saotome?" "You have good ears, Mu Suu," Tatsu-Ranma said softly in his Onna-Ranma voice. "Or maybe I need a little more practice at bein' a dragon." Mu Suu whirled around to face the voice. It had come from behind. He was greeted with the sight of a grinning TatsuRanma. The dragon's beard was beaded with captured drops of drizzle and his iridescent, blue-green scales sparkled in the streetlights. "You look almost like a machine of some kind, Saotome." "Tarou thought I was a statue or something when he first saw me," Tatsu-Ranma said, then grinned a bit more. "He was upset when he discovered that this was me." "So that's who you were fighting." "Yeah, but he's gone back to China where he belongs." "I wondered who it was." "The old ghoul didn't tell you?" "All she told me was that you had become a dragon during the fight. I don't think she knows who you were fighting, yet. Why are you talking like your girl half?" "My regular voice would wake up the whole town." "Ah, that makes sense," Mu Suu said, then began to shiver uncontrollably. "Calm down," Tatsu-Ranma said, showing real concern in his feminine voice. "I'm not going to hurt you unless you give me reason to." "How did you get behind me?" "I can't tell you that," Tatsu-Ranma said. "What did Ko Lon send you to find out? There's no reason to stay out in this weather any longer than you must." "You know, I think I like you better as a dragon, Saotome," Mu Suu said, managing a grin through his fright. "You're actually nicer." "Really? Maybe its because I've been around my mom some lately." Mu Suu bit back on what ran through his mind at that moment. He had not yet tired of living. "Ko Lon worries about you, you know." "Yeah, I know," Tatsu-Ranma said sounding glum. "I just wish she'd take the same attitude towards Akane." The incongruity of the situation was almost too much for Mu Suu, not to mention the truly bitter irony of it all. "You like the old bat, don't you?" "I didn't say that." "No, you didn't," Mu Suu said evenly, "but it shows." "So what does Ko Lon want to know, Mu Suu?" "For one thing, she's curious about how big you are." Tatsu-Ranma seemed to be briefly amused by that question. "Fifteen-shaku, six-sun from nose to tail." "That's what? Right at five meters, isn't it?" "Yeah," Tatsu-Ranma said, "but she wouldn't have sent you out on a night like this just to find that out." "I think she's worried about how hostile you might be towards us and the rest of the Joketsuzoku, Saotome." "I ain't hostile towards ya," TatsuRanma. "Just leave Akane and the rest of my family alone and everything will be fine." "So you are going to marry Akane?" "I don't know that she will still have me, Mu Suu," Tatsu-Ranma said, again sounding glum. "I don't know that even my own mother will have anything to do with me after today, but it makes no difference.
They are all under my protection. You got that?" Mu Suu nodded his head in understanding, and suddenly found that he felt sorry for his long-time rival. The irony was truly bitter. Among the Joketsu, a man like Ranma Saotome would be universally revered almost without question. Here among his own people though, too many would be unable to understand. Most of them would despise him as a freak at best, or even more likely fear him as a great monster. "You must have been a ripsnorter in your last life, Saotome." "Most likely I did somethin' so bad I'm in the history books," Tatsu-Ranma said in agreement. "Tell Ko Lon I don't want any trouble. I especially don't want any trouble from Xian Pu." "I will help keep an eye on Xian Pu, Saotome," Mu Suu said, realizing that a countervailing threat would do far more harm than good. "Will you promise me not to hurt her unless you must?" "I never hurt anyone I don't have to, Mu Suu. I actually kinda like Xian Pu," Tatsu-Ranma said, then in much colder voice added, "But I will kill her outright if she so much as touches a hair on Akane's head." "Surely you don't mean that, Saotome." Tatsu-Ranma's girlish voice was again sad when he spoke. "Yes I do, Mu Suu. It's the only way I can say no and make Xian Pu understand that I mean it." Mu Suu worked hard at not letting his face change, even as tears ran down his cheeks from behind his glasses. "You cannot blame her for what she is, Saotome." "I don't blame her, Mu Suu. I blame all of the Joketsuzoku and their stupid laws. If she does something stupid, I'll teach 'em how stupid it all is. Do you understand?" "I think I get your drift, Saotome. Perhaps I should be going." "One more thing, Mu Suu." "Yes?" "I had whole lot rather be your friend than your enemy. The choice is yours." "And what of Xian Pu's honor?" "I'll do anything I can short of marryin' her or pillowin' with her, Mu Suu." "You mean you wouldn't at least honor her with a child? Even if it meant you would have no obligations?" "I could never abandon my own kid, Mu Suu. Even if I knew the child would be well cared for." Mu Suu stared blankly at Tatsu-Ranma for a moment in silence. He had never heard anyone express such a sentiment before. He was not sure of what to make of it. "You are more of a man than I thought, Saotome," Mu Suu said at last. "A strange man, but a real man nonetheless." "Good night, Mu Suu." "Good night, Saotome-dono." Tatsu-Ranma watched Mu Suu's departing back until he rounded a corner, then hopped back over the clinic fence and settled once again into its tiny green-space. Sleeping in dragon form proved very different from sleeping in human form. Parts of him did not go to sleep. His sense of smell and hearing remained on a kind of "alert mode." He found it eerie to remain semi-aware of what was going on around him while the rest of his being slept. His dreams were different as well--very different. After several minutes of inner quiet, Ranma found himself standing upon a high cliff, overlooking a long, green valley. A river ran the length of the grassy valley below, with tall trees on either bank. The trees were of a kind he had never seen before. Even from this distance he could tell that they bore some kind of large blossom. The truly odd thing was that the blossoms varied in color, even on a single tree. He looked up, the sky was as bright and blue as any he had ever seen, with cottony clouds dancing along the wind high overhead. The sun felt warm on his shoulders. With a start, he suddenly realized that he did not seem to be dreaming at all. It was too realistic for a dream, almost as though he was actually standing in such a spot. "Am I dreaming? Or have I traveled to this place somehow? I don't remember ever seeing anything like it," Ranma said aloud to himself as he realized he was back in his human form. "Weird, huh?" a familiar, female voice said from behind him. Ranma whipped around, automatically falling into his most deceptive of ready stances. Much to his shock, he found himself being confronted by his girl type. Worse, he found himself ogling his girl type. The bright, golden light of the sun shone through her comfortable looking sundress, nicely silhouetting the supple body beneath it. For the first time since he had acquired his curse, Ranma fully realized the impact his female form had on other men. It was unnerving. It was very unnerving. "Cute, ain't we, Saotome?" Ranko asked, then giggled. "See now why most girls wear a bra?" "I ... who ... " "It's just me, Saotome! Don't you recognize yourself?" "How?" Ranko
shrugged. "Does it matter?" she asked. "This is a beautiful place, wherever it is." "I thought you could only dream up stuff based on things you had seen before." "So what do you see here that you haven't seen before, Saotome?" "I ain't never seen grass like this for starters," Ranma said scuffing his bare foot through the luxuriant growth they were standing upon. "How do you know you've never seen it before, Saotome?" "'Cause I don't remember seein' it, that's why!" "Your subconscious files away a lot of stuff you never notice, you know." "Yeah? Like that dress you're wearin'?" "What's wrong with it?" Ranko asked as she twirled around, letting the dress fly out into a broad disk of color around her deliciously attractive legs. "I don't remember seein' IT either, much less ever wearin' it!" "Well I remember it! It was at the department store when Mom took me shopping for a brassiere." Ranko said, sounding a wee bit miffed. "You don't remember it because you try so hard to forget this sort of thing." The best Ranma could do was respond with a confused stare. Onna-Ranma stepped in close to her male self and stared him in the eye, nose to nose. "I know! It's a guy thing! And yes! I DO TOO understand." Ranma again found himself struggling to find words. His female half gave him a grin and spoke while he continued to flounder. "Do you have any idea how cute you are when you're flustered?" "How come you never help me out when they do this to me?" His girl self understood what he meant. He was angry because she never helped him out when Akane or some other girl got him over a barrel. "Because they love to look at me when you're like this." "Huh?" "Confusin', ain't it?" Ranma closed his eyes and groaned. "Come on, Saotome! It's too pretty a day to have a headache." "It ain't daytime and this ain't real!" Ranma cried out as he opened his eyes and gave his female self a hard stare. "Oh, yeah?" Ranko said as she stepped back and placed her hands on her hips. The pose reminded Ranma of the way Akane did when she wanted to give him a hard time about something. He found himself grinning despite his discomfort. "Do I really know how to do that?" Ranma asked, waving his hands to indicate Ranko's stance and demeanor. She understood what he was asking about, of course. "Yes!" Ranko said with a snort. "Not that the oh-so- manly Ranma Saotome ever does anything like this!" Ranma winced. "I have an idea, Saotome!" "What?" "Let's take a walk down by the river." "D'ya think we can get down there? This place ain't real, ya know." "It's more real than you're letting us believe, Saotome. I can come here whenever I like." "Yeah, okay," Ranma said with a grin. "It might be fun." Tiny points of light twinkled before Ranma's eyes, forcing him to blink. He suddenly found himself standing in deep shade and could hear water gurgling over rocks just off to his right. Large blossoms of differing colors were floating gently along upon the surface of the river's crystalline waters. The white ones amazed Ranma. They looked as though they had been carved from large opals. "Nice, huh?" His girl half asked. "Yeah, it is," Ranma answered as he craned his neck to look at the trees overhead. The leaves were large and palmate with a deep, almost coniferous green color. Unlike most of the leaves he had seen of this shape, these leaves were glossy, almost as though they had a waxy coating. The bark of the trees was a deep, reddish brown and quite rough. The woods were permeated with the smell of an ordinary forest with a faint undertone of eucalyptus. Clearly these really were trees, but not of a kind he had ever seen. The experience was a very odd mixture of the real and unreal. "I don't remember ever seeing trees like this, Red." "So? They're probably just composites of trees I've seen before." "Did you dream this place up, or did I?" "You did, silly! We're the same person, remember?" "Not all the time we're not!" "Yes, we are, Saotome," Ranma's girl half said, sounding a little sad as she took his hands in her own, "that's one of the things we need to talk over." Ranma let her lead him over to a large rock jutting up out of the soft soil. It had a smooth flat surface like a tabletop and was several meters across. It had been split right down the middle, as though a giant had cleaved it into with a sword. He recognized the stone. It was Tengu Rock. He and his father had sparred upon its slanted surface every day for the ten months they had lived in Yagyu village. Genma had arranged for him to study kenjutsu under Nobuhara Yagyu, the twenty-first headmaster of Yagyu Shinkage-ryu hyoho. Yagyu- sensei had
demanded much of Ranma. In the end, Yagyu had seemed pleased with his efforts and even invited him to return after he was grown. The sun broke through the dense canopy of limbs and leaves here, making it a perfect spot to picnic. Bright little points of lights danced in front of Ranma's eyes, forcing him to blink. He found himself sitting on a blanket opposite Ranko; some of Kasumi's best cooking was scattered out in various dishes between them. He sampled some of the food. No doubt about it, this was Kasumi's cooking. Ranko handed him a piece of okonomiyaki, surprisingly, it was not Ukyo's. It was her father's. "Damn!" Ranma exclaimed. "I had forgotten how good that old man could cook." His female half grinned at him. "No you didn't." "Maybe not," Ranma said, grinning back, then suddenly became serious. "What are we doing here, anyway?" "What anyone does in a dream, Saotome. Relax and try to deal with stuff we can't deal with while we're awake." "So what are we tryin' to deal with?" "Sex." Ranma's mouth hung open. His girl half giggled at him. "You're flustered again, Saotome." Ranma's discomfiture worsened precipitously. "Now you are positively blushing." Ranma's face darkened. "Come on, Saotome! There's no need to be embarrassed here. There's just me," she said pointing at herself, then at Ranma, "and me here. I can be honest with myself, can't I?" "I ... I don't know," Ranma said in a low voice. "I don't know if I can handle it." "So why don't you ask me a question?" Ranko said, sounding sly. "I know you're dying to." "Why are my girl type urges so much stronger than my guy type urges?" "Because girls mature earlier than guys, you big dope!" "Huh?" "You didn't pay attention during health class, did you?" "I paid attention!" "But you didn't really think it applied to you, didja?" "I ... I guess not," Ranma said sounding as though he had just opened a door that he had not known existed in a previously familiar room. "I think we're just now starting to find out what Akane has been going through since before we got here." "What do you mean by that, Red?" Ranma shouted at his girl half. "You got no right to talk about Akane like that!" "Oh, come on, Ranma! You've seen the fire in her eyes when she looks at us, and I ain't talkin' about when she's been mad at us!" Suddenly, bright little points of light again twinkled before his eyes forcing him to blink. They were still in the same place, but things had changed. The leaves were no longer green. Now the trees were wearing riotous coats of copper, red and gold. Their limbs were so heavy with large, nut-like fruits that many of them were drooping from the strain. OnnaRanma was sitting on the same blanket, but the dishes were different this time. His eyes widened as he watched his girl half, now in male form, chop up pieces of one of the large nuts, tossing them into a wok for stir frying along with some fish and other vegetables. His girl type had set the wok over an open fire. The smoke from the fire smelt sweet, but the aroma from the sizzling pan was even better. "Hey!" Ranma called out in his girlish voice. "You want some help?" His girl half looked up at him and gave him his most manly grin in return. "I can handle it. You just sit there and relax." Ranma tried to get up, but began having trouble. It took him a moment to realize that the reason he was having trouble was his very large stomach. He felt of it with both hands. Something inside kicked. Life! There was life in there! "Red, you jerk!" "What's the matter?" "I'm pregnant!" "Yeah, so? It's what I wanted deep down, right?" "I wanna have kids awright! But I wanna have Akane's kids!" "So? Whose kid do you think that is?" "It can't be Akane's, you dipstick!" "Oh? What makes you think that?" "Akane's a woman! She can't get me pregnant!" "Yeah, well it did take some pretty special help. Modern science can work wonders nowadays. If I really want to have Akane's baby, I can, Saotome." "Gahh!" "What's wrong?" "This was supposed to be a pleasant dream and friendly discussion!" Ranma screamed in Onna-Ranma's voice, then swallowed painfully at a catch in his throat. "Not a goddamned nightmare!" "What's so nightmarish about having a baby?" his girl half asked in a gentle, but masculine voice. "It's what I really want deep down." Ranma became suddenly aware of how precious the life growing inside his female body was to him, then began to cry. "Are you all right?" his girl half asked Ranma's own, masculine voice. "I'm pregnant!" "Yeah, so?" she said, sounding puzzled. "It's what I really want, isn't it?" "I'm a guy, dammit! I can't
have a baby!" "Sure you can have a baby! You know you can have a baby and it's one of things you want to do!" his girl half bellowed in his male voice. "Why do you think I'm havin' this dream!" "I do NOT want to have a baby! You pervert!" His girl half-grinned at him. "Think so, huh?" She asked, then her grin on her masculine face got even bigger. "Watch this!" Bright sparkles again filled the air before Ranma's face, forcing him to blink. This time the rock was gone. They were on a vast beach. Nearby was a fire-pit dug into the sand and freshly caught abalone and clams were steaming inside a mound of seaweed just laid upon the coals. The surf crashed upon a reef the better part of a kilometer from shore. Clear water shading from a vibrant, sun-dappled green to deep blue near the reef, lapped at the golden sands with peaceful, crystalline wavelets. Ranma felt the wind play with his bangs while the warm, languorous sun kissed the bare skin of his shoulders. Wave after wave of peaceful bliss was washing over him. He could not remember when he had felt so relaxed. It was then that he noticed a slight weight on his arm and something pulling at his left nipple. He looked down to find that he was in his girl type body and an infant was sucking at his breast. The child stared up at him with trusting blue eyes as the wind ruffled her fine, red hair. Ranma had never felt so complete in all his life. Nor had he ever felt quite so strong for, or quite so defensive of anything or anyone. Not even Akane had been able to make him feel this way. He lay back against the canvas of the beach chair and struggled to stay awake. The sun would swing around soon and he did not want the newborn in it. "You look sleepy, Ranma." Ranma smiled back at his girl half. She handled his male type body quite well and was very handsome. "At peace is more like it." "See? I told you I wanted to have a baby." "I know, Red. It's just ... well ... " "You're worried about Mom." "And Akane. Do you really think she'd willingly give this up?" "She wouldn't have to, dummy." "Do you think she'd willingly share it?" "Hey! We're talkin' Ranma and Akane, here." "Well, you can bet she ain't gonna take to it all that kindly at first. She pro'lly figures that she supposed to be the lady of the house. I mean it's bad enough that we're gonna have to ban her from the kitchen for the first few months." "Aw come on, Ranma. You know she'll be able to cook by the time we marry." "Yeah, I suppose so, assuming she wants to stick with us after that trip." "She will, Saotome. She's got twice as much steel in her soul as I do. She might even have more than Mom." "Yeah, but it still ain't gonna be no picnic, Red. There's gonna be times when she truly hates me, and it might take her a long time to get over it." "We'll just have to be careful and handle Akane like she's Akane and not like Shit-daddy handled me when I was little, Saotome." "How long before the abalone's done?" "Oh, a couple of hours, I guess." "Watch the sun and move the umbrella for us, would ya? The baby and I both need a nap." "For a man among men, you sure seem to be a natural at motherhood, Saotome." "Can't help it, Red. It comes with the curse." "You sure you wanna do this, Saotome?" Ranma gave forth with a frustrated sigh as once again, sparkling motes of light forced him to blink. Now they were back on top of the cliff. Ranma was back in his male form while is girl half stood beside him in her female form, holding his arm. "You could end it forever, you know." "End what forever?" "The curse, silly." "How?" "Build up enough ki, then use it at the right time to change and I would never be a girl again." "Why would I wanna do that?" "No more girl type urges for starters, Saotome." "No more worryin' about Mom." "Uh-huh. And no more of those icky times of the month." "And no more lookin' at a dress and wishin' I could wear it." "And no more wanting to have Akane's baby." "Hey! I'll always want to have Akane's baby. It's too late to turn back now." "Yeah, but you wouldn't want to HAVE her baby, Saotome. There's a difference here." "I will always want to HAVE Akane's baby, Red. It's too late to change that now." "That's just your hormones talking, Saotome." "Nope. It's what's in my heart, Red. You know it is. I ... " "You wouldn't daydream about her being some big, tall handsome guy anymore either." Chills ran up the back of Ranma's male half. "The last time I did that, Kuno glomped me while I was in the middle of it. It was ... it was ... " Onna-Ranma placed a finger on his lips to silence him. "You think I don't know that, Saotome? I'm in love with Akane. I could never run
around on her, even with a man. I'm stuck with this for as long as I decide to hang onto the curse. The thing is, I'm willing to pay the price." Ranma embraced his female half and gave her a peck on the forehead. The sky began to darken as Onna-Ranma cuddled up to her male half. "You scare me sometimes, Saotome." "Whaddaya mean by that, Red?" "I know all too well how much you hate being a girl. I figured once you knew how to be male all the time you'd ... " "Nah, no way. There's too many things you can do that I can't. Besides, I'd hate missin' out on all that ice- cream." "And Akane's baby?" "Red ... I don't know about this pregnant business ... I don't think I'll ever be able to handle it." "Being pregnant isn't what bothers you, Saotome," his girl half said. "I know it and you know it. It's doing what it takes to become pregnant that bothers you." Ranma's male half suddenly became very tense. "I can't help that!" "I know, Ranma," his girl half said as she buried her face in his shoulder to hide her tears. "I'm sorry. I can't help making you feel that kind of desire sometimes. It's ... it's just nature at work." Ranma's male half relaxed, then sighed with resignation as his girl half began sobbing. "But look at the bright side of things, Red. You will have a baby to cuddle," Ranma said patting his female self on the back, "and it WILL be Akane's baby." "I was so afraid she'd never accept me," Onna-Ranma said into the shoulder of her male form. "We lucked out on that, Red," Ranma's male half said in a soft voice. "We lucked out on it big time." Ranma cuddled his female self and rocked her gently until she could regain control. "Saotome?" "Mmm?" "She may turn out to be better than me." "What makes you think that?" "Remember the dougi?" "Yeah, so?" "It couldn't really do anything more than use her full potential, Saotome." "Yeah, but it will take her a long time to get there." "So you're not worried?" "Hey! She's gonna marry ME, remember?" "You are such a rock-head, sometimes, Saotome!" Ranma's girl half said with a grin. "Me? A rock-head?" "I'm sleepy," his girl half said. "How about you?" "Yeah, I'm pretty tired," Ranma said with a great yawn as he held his female form a little closer. "It's been a long day." As the stars came out, Tatsu-Ranma gently curled itself around the sleeping pair, as though guarding a nest. Shortly thereafter the whole of Ranma fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. ------------------- Shintarou Ishikawa was an odd man by any standard, but especially odd by Japanese standards. He graduated in the top of his class from Tokyo University, majoring in economics. This would have guaranteed him a lifetime career in government service had he wanted it, but he spurned all such offers. He decided to become a novelist instead. His first two books did not do all that well. The next three became national best sellers. Thus at age thirty-five he had become a quiet man of average height, suffering from the swivel- chair spread in his middle, a pale complexion, and that sloppy slump of the shoulders common to all career deskjockeys. His face was soft and ovoid with a weak chin and eyebrows that pointed upwards above his nose, giving him the look of a man perpetually and comically surprised. This last aspect of his appearance was considerably enhanced by his hairline, which had decided to recede early. Finding himself possessed of more money than he could reasonably spend, and knowing that his chances of becoming a hit with the ladies were practically nil, Ishikawa began casting about for something to do other than writing. Cranking out five novel-length works back to back had required him to lead a quiet, almost monastic existence. While his writing had brought him quite a bit of fame and more than a little money, it seemed unlikely that his writing alone would ever cause his ideals to be realized. He and the rest of the world it seemed were in dire need of a change. The problem Ishikawa found himself addressing, was how to make that change. Politics seemed the most likely solution, but he had been careful to check on the careers of the other writers and artists that had taken than route. Most of them failed to accomplish anything but grief for themselves, their parties and their country. In his estimation, they went into politics with insufficient experience and too little knowledge of how their government really worked. Having reached the this conclusion, and realizing that inexperience and lack of knowledge about the inner workings of government were two glaring shortcomings of his own, he decided he had
best acquire some of each before dabbling in politics. His old classmates did their very best to discourage him when he called upon them for help. He had been out of the loop too long they told him. The only job he was likely to get would be very menial. Ishikawa had not cared about that then, and he did not care about it now. He pressed on until he finally got what he wanted, a job with the government. He had been a bit worried when he reported in for his first day of work. He had never so much as owned a cat in his entire life, now he was about to go to work as a field officer of the Animal Control Division of the Tokyo Public Works Department. As it turned out, Ishikawa brought to his job a set of skills, which proved to be both a boon and a bane. In order to become a professional writer, one must write. This sounds like an entirely reasonable, straightforward premise, but there are complications. In order to write enough to make a living writing, it is necessary to narrow one's mental focus until nothing but the task at hand is in view. This is challenging. A friend calls with an invitation to a romantic dinner for four and one says, "No thanks." Family calls hoping the writer will join them for a picnic and the writer pretends to be ill. The writer disconnects the television and wishes there was no such thing as the Internet, but the writer keeps the modem because it speeds research. Writing is a very quiet, very private, soul searing hell. The only surcease from it is reaching a point where one may, in good conscience, type two little words: "The End." Ishikawa knew nothing about animals when he came to work. He was by no means in the physical shape he needed to be in to do the job. His uniform did not fit him at all and actually made him look more comical than he ordinarily did, but the one asset he brought to his job was focus so ruthless that even the most cunning of feral tomcats seldom eluded him for long. The largest, most ill tempered breeds of dogs troubled him not at all. Nothing stopped him from doing his job. Crying children begging for their pets back meant nothing more to Ishikawa than the sighing of the wind in the pines. Little old ladies begging him to drop their poodles failed to even make him pause. Big brutish owners of pit bulldogs, foolish enough to try intimidation would simply find themselves wearing a net and riding along in the back of his truck with their pets. Ishikawa's supervisors suddenly found themselves wishing he had gone to work for the post office instead of them. Ishikawa lacked perspective. He did not care whose pet he captured. If the animal was not legal or did not have the appropriate tags and paperwork, he brought it in. Shintarou Ishikawa was no respecter of persons, only the law. This singlemindedness caused more than a little discomfort for Tokyo Public Works in general and the Animal Control Division in particular. All of his supervisors shook their heads in dismay. Why could he not understand that being a dogcatcher was one of the most political of all jobs? Hoping that he would learn the ropes, and some much needed flexibility, they transferred him from one district to the next in quick succession. The rich learned to despise him within two days arrival. The poor hated him with a passion so black that hell had no hope of matching it. The yakuza and the politicians they owned learned to fear him. The nation's supply of exotic animals dried up in just a few days. Finally, it was decided to transfer him to a middle-class district. Only the kami know why Nerima was chosen, but transfer him to Nerima they did. ------------------- The sun did not come up on Saturday morning. It settled for turning the sky into a dripping, gray blanket of cloud instead of a black, dripping blanket of cloud. The alert part of TatsuRanma's mind woke the rest of his body and mind. (What's that smell, Red?) {{A pig--no, a long pig.}} (So what exactly is a long pig, Scales?) (It's Ryoga, Saotome! Long pig is what the Polynesians used to call a human they roasted at a luau.) (You mean they eat people at those wing-dings? Kuno's daddy is sicker than I thought!) (They don't eat people anymore, Saotome. That was in the old days, you baka!) (Oh, ho! THIS is gonna be fun.) {{Mmm! Good snack.}} (It's Ryoga, you scaly oaf!) (We can't eat him, Scales! Well, I could, but I'd never live it down.) {{Not for eating?}} (No! He ain't for eatin', Scales. I can't believe you said that, Red!) {{Will he mate?}} (NO!) (He would if I let him. He's as big a pervert as Kuno is.) (He's comin' closer, Red! Let's get ready.) (He's gonna shit when he
sees us in this form, Saotome.) {{He has a great spirit and a big heart, but he is not strong enough to be a true enemy.}} (Yeah, but we're gonna scare the pig poop out of him anyway, Scales.) {{Duty?}} (Yeah, something like that.) (More like ritual combat you mean, Saotome.) (Whatever!) (Be vewie vewie quiet! He's about to come through the gate.) {{Something else approaches.}} Tatsu-Ranma sniffed the air. {{It is a hunter.}} (A hunter? In Tokyo?) {{He is a good hunter. He must be nearby, but I smell no fear from our toy.}} (Must be one of Tofu's buddies.) {{Look over the wall?}} (No, let's worry about Ryoga first, Scales.) {{We have time. Our toy is at the gate.}} Ryoga Hibiki, thinking that he was still in Miyazaki City and hoping to get directions to a train station, walked unsuspecting through the clinic gate. "Yo, Ryoga! How's it hangin'?" Tatsu-Ranma asked cheerfully in Onna-Ranma's voice. "Ranma?" Ryoga asked in puzzled tones as he looked about for his archrival, friend and favorite enemy. "What are you doing in Miyazaki?" "This is Nerima, Pork-butt!" "Boy, what a realistic looking statue," Ryoga exclaimed upon finally taking full notice of Tatsu-Ranma. "I am NOT a statue, Ryoga!" Tatsu-Ranma said in Onna- Ranma's voice. "Ya-a-a-a-ah!" Ryoga screamed in terror as he jumped up onto the wall. "It's alive!" Tatsu-Ranma reared up onto his hind legs so that he could look Ryoga in the eye. "Of course I'm alive, Bacon-breath!" Tatsu-Ranma rumbled in his natural voice. "Dontcha recognize me?" Ryoga's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as his jaw went slack. (Oh, wow, Saotome! He's turnin' green!) (Now he's turnin' a kind of coppery color, Red.) (I wonder if we do that when we're scared, Saotome?) (I dunno. OH, look! Now he's turnin' white!) (Hah! He looks like he just saw a ghost!) "Who you gonna call, P-Chan?" Tatsu-Ranma asked in Onna-Ranma's voice. This last was too much for Ryoga. He became faint and fell off the wall. Unfortunately, this caused him to lose his umbrella, thus exposing his water-sensitive body to the rain. (Oh, man! That was worth at least a million yen, Saotome!) (Too bad we didn't have time to get Nabiki to tape this one, ne, Red?) {{He makes a good toy! Is he always so easily frightened?}} (Just the first time, Scales. Ryoga's one of the bravest guys I know.) (That he is, Saotome. He's gonna be mad enough to chew nails once he figures this out.) (Hey! That'd be great! We haven't had a good match since Tarou left.) (Geez, Saotome! That was just yesterday!) (So? Ryoga's a great artist. It's always fun to fight him.) (And he's only slightly less stable than nitroglycerine, Saotome.) (And twice as dangerous, Red. That's why I love him.) Tatsu-Ranma watched as P-Chan squirmed his way out of Ryoga's clothes. {{I think he would make an excellent snack.}} P-Chan's eyes widened with horror as he looked and saw Tatsu-Ranma towering above the clinic wall. "Bwee!" "Calm down, Ryoga! It's just me. I ain't gonna hurtcha!" P-Chan believed his eyes a good deal more than his ears. He shot off down the street, then rounded a corner out of sight. (Aw, geez! Now we gotta go get him, Saotome.) (Yeah, I know. Akane would never forgive me if anything happened to him.) Tatsu-Ranma flowed over the clinic wall, then galloped down the street after the fleeing P-Chan. (Man! We can really move along in this form, Red!) (You got that right! We must be covering ten meters a jump.) {{Thirtyfive shaku per jump. Could do better on dirt.}} (Right! Turn right! He went that way.)
E-Mail Me
Comes The Cold Dragon
Akane woke up in the muted light of a drizzly Saturday, taking joy in the comforting warmth cuddled up to her back. She smiled. Then the smile vanished as she remembered what had happened the day before and realized that the soft body cuddled up to her back could not be Onna-Ranma. Then she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was Nabiki. She scooted away from her older sister, hoping that her movements would not disturb the older girl. Nabiki mumbled something and rolled onto her back. Akane sat up and looked down at her, then again smiled. Seeing Nabiki asleep and looking nearly angelic brought back memories of their early childhood. It had been a time when the three of them played together and enjoyed it. Still smiling, Akane rose, then went to the bathroom. As she came back out, the early morning quiet was disturbed by the rumbling grind of Tatsu-Ranma's voice. Even at a low volume it could be heard through the closed windows of the clinic. "Of course I'm alive, Bacon-breath! Dontcha recognize me?" Akane ran over towards the window at the front of the flat, not quite noticing how cute Ukyo and Konatsu looked when cuddled together on Tofu's old couch. Looking out the window, Akane saw Ryoga teetering on the clinic wall and in an obvious state of panic. He face was as white as a sheet. Tatsu-Ranma said something in his girl type voice, then Ryoga lost his balance. Akane gasped as Ryoga disappeared and his clothes fluttered to the ground. Her dismay turned to shock when a small black pig emerged from the collar of Ryoga's heavy shirt. The little animal stared up at TatsuRanma, its eyes wide with fear, then it seemed to look right at Akane and its eyes widened with true, heartfelt terror. "Calm down, Ryoga! It's just me. I ain't gonna hurt'cha!" Tatsu-Ranma said, just loud enough for Akane to make out what he said. P-Chan sprinted away and out of Akane's sight, even though she pressed her nose against the cold glass in an effort to follow his motion. Tatsu-Ranma bowed his head, then slapped the palm of scaly forepaw onto his face. The sight of a frustrated dragon might have struck Akane as comical in other circumstances, but at this particular moment, her mind was too numb from shock. She continued to watch in slack- jawed amazement as Tatsu-Ranma somehow hiked his five-meter length over the clinic wall without touching it, then tore off down the street in pursuit of the fleeing pig. Akane backed away from the window with a violent jerk, her lower jaw quivering with sudden pain and rage. "That ... " Akane choked out in a hoarse whisper. "Mmm, what's the matter, Akane?" Ukyo asked sleepily. "THAT!" Akane shouted, in a loud, hard voice. "What?" Ukyo said, the first faint traces of alarm in her voice. Now Konatsu was sitting up and looking worried. "SON OF A BITCH!" Akane shouted. "Oh, puh-lease, Akane!" Nabiki called out from the other end of the flat. "It's early and it's Saturday. Just for once I'd like to sleep in." Ukyo and Konatsu both were now squinting at the brightness of Akane's aura. The heat from it was positively frightening. Akane stamped angrily across the flat then began pulling some of Ranma's clothes on over her pajamas. "Akane, what's wrong?" Ukyo asked in a timid voice. "We're having fresh ham with breakfast this morning!" "Okay! I'll make ham and egg okonomiyaki!" "Good!" Akane said with a frighteningly hard edge in her voice, "Just wait a few minutes, and I'll be back with the fresh ham." "Akane, this is beginning to sound like something we need to talk about," Nabiki said in a tired and puzzled voice as she sat up and stared at her younger sister. "Maybe you should calm down first." "IT'S TOO LATE FOR TALK, NABIKI! THERE'S BEEN TOO MUCH TALK ALREADY!" Akane shouted as she angrily thumped her way down the stairs. "I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES!" The three remaining occupants of the flat winced as one of the doors downstairs slammed with a loud bang. They exchanged looks. "Uh, Konatsu?" Ukyo asked in an uneasy voice. "Yes, Ukyo-sama?" "Maybe you had better tag along with her, just in case." "Yes, Ukyosama!" Konatsu said as blurred into his high-speed mode and disappeared. Nabiki fell back onto her futon and covered her eyes with one hand. Ukyo rolled off the couch, gracefully rising onto her feet. She walked over and looked out the window Akane had been staring out of when she had her sudden fit. "Ran-chan is gone!" Nabiki gave out a loud sigh. "And I can see what looks like Ryoga's clothes and
backpack lying on the sidewalk out front. Nabiki sat bolt upright, her eyes wide with horror, as though she had just realized something terrible. "Oh, no it can't be!" Nabiki exclaimed. "Huh? What are you talkin' about, Sugar?" "Are you sure that's Ryoga's stuff?" "Well, it looks like it from up here. You wanna go down and check it out?" Nabiki gave out another sigh, as she got up and joined Ukyo at the window. A mere glance was all she needed to confirm her fears. "Nope, there's no point in us getting out in the wet and cold. I can guarantee you that it's Ryoga's stuff." Ukyo gave Nabiki a puzzled look. "What's goin' on here, Nabiki?" "He's dead meat, you know," Nabiki said in a grim voice. Ukyo thought of what Akane said about bringing back fresh ham, then became horror stricken. "You mean Ryoga's cursed?" Nabiki tiredly nodded her head. "With ... with ... that kind of a curse?" Ukyo asked, putting her hand to her mouth. A many strange occurrences were suddenly beginning to make sense. Nabiki nodded her head again, her face grim. "He's ... he's ... P-CHAN!" Ukyo shrieked as it all came together in her head. "Oh, shit!" "Oh, my!" Nabiki said, nodding her head in agreement. "Akane may kill him. I wouldn't. Dying is too good for him, but Akane is probably going to kill him." "What are we going to do?" Ukyo asked in growing alarm. "Wait here and hope Ranma stops her," Nabiki said. "I doubt if even you could do anything to stop her while she is in this state." "Why do I get the feeling you want to get your claws on Ryoga, Nabiki?" "Because I really do want to get my claws on him," Nabiki said in a voice that seemed to hang icicles in the air. "Akane is too nice a person to have any talent for making someone like Ryoga pay properly." "Boy! They don't call the you the Ice-Queen for nothin', do they, Honey?" Nabiki looked at Ukyo and smiled. Ukyo shivered as she realized that Ranma was not the only person in the world that could make the air temperature drop. ------------------- Tatsu-Ranma watched as a frail looking little man flung a cast net and neatly caught P-Chan. The little pig squealed in protest as he began trying to fight his way out of the net. It was hopeless. The net had obviously been designed with small animals in mind, not fish. The harder P- Chan fought, the more entangled he became. The funny-looking little man pulled on a cord attached to the net and it tightened up around the struggling pig. {{The net is a cunning device. Part of it is made with silk string. Perfect for entangling small animals.}} (He's going to haul Ryoga off to the pound, Scales! We've gotta stop him.) {{Pound? Ah, I see. That would be unfortunate for our toy. He might get broken.}} "Let him go, you jerk!" TatsuRanma said in his draconian voice, rattling one or two nearby windows. "He's no ordinary pig." The little man stared in the direction of Tatsu- Ranma's voice, looking surprised, but gave no sign that he had actually seen Tatsu-Ranma. He looked around, as though searching for whoever had spoken, then returned his attention to Ryoga who was still squealing like a trapped pig. "Ordinary or extraordinary, it makes no difference," the dogcatcher called out loudly enough to be heard by the unseen person who had shouted at him, "livestock is not permitted in Nerima-chou." (Higher! Raise our head higher so he can see us!) Tatsu-Ranma reared up on his hind legs and spoke again. "I said, let him go!" This time the little man gave Tatsu-Ranma a surprised stare. After a moment of simply staring, he shook his head and picked up the now thoroughly panicked P-Chan. Much to TatsuRanma's consternation, the little man slung the net containing P-Chan over his shoulder, then strolled nonchalantly down the street towards his waiting truck. (He's taking Ryoga back to his truck! Quick, we gotta stop him before he gets away!) {{I smell no fear in him. That is very odd.}} (He probably made the same mistake Tarou did.) {{Ah, he mistakes me for a statue or something.}} (That's my guess. Now hurry!) Tatsu-Ranma did not take the trouble to move silently as he scrabbled to catch up with the impervious dogcatcher. There was nothing wrong with the odd-looking little man's hearing. He turned around and stared at Tatsu-Ranma as he approached. Tatsu-Ranma noticed that they were now alongside the man's truck. The dogcatcher's face changed very little, but his knees were knocking together. "Look," Tatsu-Ranma rumbled as he came within a meter or so of the dogcatcher, "that's no ordinary pig. He's really a human being." The man looked down at P-Chan who had since given up struggling against the net, then looked back
up at Tatsu- Ranma. "I didn't realize there were any species of crocodilian capable of mimicking speech," Ishikawa said, sounding puzzled and looking surprised. "I wonder where you came from." "I came from right here in Nerima!" Tatsu-Ranma bellowed, blasting the dogcatcher's thinning hair back. "And I ain't no crocodile!" "I wonder if you could lead me back to your owner. I really should speak with him before taking you to the pound." "Ah, geez!" Tatsu-Ranma said with a rumbling groan. "Just my luck! You're new around here, aintcha?" "Yes, my name is Ishikawa. Shintarou Ishikawa," the little man said, still looking very surprised but seeming to be unperturbed, "but it makes no difference. It is against the law to keep crocodilians as pets. I'll have to take you to the pound and give your owner a citation." "I ain't no freakin' crocodile!" Windows rattled for several blocks around. Ishikawa snapped his fingers as though he had just remembered something. He reached over to the door of his truck and opened it, then grabbed a thermos bottle sitting on the front seat. He smiled at Tatsu-Ranma as he opened the thermos and poured some of its contents on Tatsu-Ranma's nose. Steam rose from the hot liquid. "Hmm, well, you are not one those I was warned about, and it may well be true that you are not a crocodilian, but it still makes no difference. It is against the law to keep large reptiles as pets. I still must take you to the pound and give your owner a citation." Tatsu-Ranma shook with fury and his eyes began to glitter. "I am NOT a freakin' reptile! How can you not see that?" The tinkling of broken glass could be heard nearby as Tatsu-Ranma finished speaking. His voice had rattled windows for kilometers around. Nerima was waking up to yet another unusual day as usual, even if it was entirely too early on a cold and soggy Saturday morning. People began to peep out from behind their gates and curtains. More than a few of them grinning in anticipation of yet another free show. Several scurried about trying to secure their more fragile valuables. "You have scales and you are four-footed. That is close enough to a reptile for me as well as the law," Ishikawa said primly. "I don't suppose you could take me to your owner?" "I don't have an owner, Baka!" Tatsu-Ranma thundered as his eyes quite literally flashed with anger. "I'm a goddamned dragon for cryin' out loud!" "Well in that case," the unflappable dogcatcher said, "all I need do is to take you to the pound. They can transfer you to the zoo or something on Monday." "I ain't gonna stay in no zoo!" Ishikawa shrugged his shoulders. "That is up to the district supervisor, not me. You will have to take it up with him." (Let's just spank him, grab the pig, and split, Red.) (Are you kidding, Saotome? Spank him with what? If we hit him with anything in this form we'll squish him like a bug.) {{He is very brave, but fragile. I smell great fear on him.}} (Well, what are we gonna do?) (I dunno, Saotome, but you know what Pops always says about dealing with the law.) {{We could just eat him, then there would be no evidence.}} (Without a horse, Scales? Besides, Nabiki would be very upset if we ate a dogcatcher. The city would probably charge her an arm and a leg for him once they figured it out. We'd end up growing old in front of her camera trying to pay for it all.) {{Good point, my Scarlet One.}} (Besides, this guy ain't no fighter and he's just tryin' to do his job. We'd be violatin' the law and The Code if we hurt 'im. Mom would disown us and because we're in this form, the government would probably send the JSDF after us. Hurtin' him ain't a good idea. Too many other people would get mixed up in it.) (Then I guess we'll just have to go to the pound, Saotome.) (I don't believe this!) (Quit whining, Saotome.) {{Yes, do stop whining. It is unbecoming of me.}} "Now, be a good boy and get into this truck," Ishikawa said as he opened the back of the modified, long-wheelbase Nissan. "I don't think I can fit into that thing," Tatsu-Ranma said, suddenly sounding subdued. "Oh, you shouldn't have too much trouble," the dogcatcher said with a smile. "I hauled a ten-meter python in this thing once. You aren't nearly that long." "I can't coil up as tight as a python," Tatsu-Ranma grumbled as he began struggling into the enclosed bed of the truck. The suspension groaned ominously beneath him as he crawled in. "You sure this thing is gonna be able to handle my weight?" "Don't worry," Ishikawa said with a smile, "it's a very short trip." "Hmmph!" "You won't hurt this cute little pig will you?" "I haven't
had breakfast, yet." Tatsu-Ranma said ominously in his draconian voice, causing PChan to quiver. By now, Tatsu-Ranma was becoming annoyed with Ryoga. "You would eat raw pork?" "I guess you got a point there," Tatsu-Ranma said in Onna-Ranma's voice, then suddenly looked pensive as he asked, "You ain't got no cats in this thing have ya?" "Surely YOU are not afraid of cats?" "I ain't afraid o' nothin'!" "Good! We have no problem then," the dogcatcher said with a smile as he dropped PChan inside the truck, still entangled in the net. "You two can ride together." Without further ado, Ishikawa slammed the rear hatch shut, then got into the cab of his truck. Tatsu-Ranma knew there was going to be more trouble as soon as the door shut. "Hey!" Tatsu-Ranma bellowed. This caused P-Chan to try covering his ears with his forefeet. The truck stopped and the little man looked into the rear enclosure through his rear windshield. "We got some kinda fumes in here!" TatsuRanma shouted, causing the truck to vibrate. "That's just the antiseptics!" Ishikawa shouted. "We can't have diseases spreading, you know." "It's makin' my eyes water and it burns my nose!" Tatsu-Ranma said in a tin-shaking rumble. "I'm sure you'll be fine!" Ishikawa said as he put the truck in gear. "It's a very short trip to the pound!" P-Chan glared at Tatsu-Ranma and squealed. (What's wrong with him, Red?) (Beats me, Saotome, maybe he's tired of the net.) (We don't dare try to help him out of it. We might hurt 'im.) {{Perhaps he would like some tea?}} (Oh, shit! Why didn't I think of that, Saotome?) ('Cause we're new to the dragon business?) (I guess. Hey! We can talk the dogcatcher into pouring it on him once we reach the pound.) (These fumes are gonna make us sick, Red!) (Think we could open that roof vent, Scales?) {{This shell seems very fragile.}} (So what's one more repair bill? Get us some air in here, Scales!) Tatsu-Ranma used his horns to tear open a flap in the thin sheet metal of the enclosure roof. The truck stopped with a bouncing lurch and sickening rocking motion. Ishikawa got out, looking both very surprised and very angry. "What did you do that for?" Ishikawa demanded to know. "We had to have some fresh air in here, man," Tatsu- Ranma rumbled, "I toldja the fumes were makin' me sick!" The dogcatcher took a deep breath before answering. "Very well then! Do what you must, but sit very still and watch out for low-hanging signs! The merchants have a nasty habit of not following the rules around here." "Yeah, whatever!" Tatsu-Ranma said, sounding bored, "Let's just get this show on the road, okay?" Ishikawa harrumphed as he got back into the truck. Tatsu-Ranma soon discovered that Ishikawa had not been joking about the lowhanging signs. He got so busy dodging signs that he did not see the panicked driver who, being so mesmerized by the sight of a dragon that she failed to notice the stop light. Her car struck the overloaded truck just behind the passenger door, causing it to teeter precariously as it began to spin. The sedan slewed to the left. The two vehicles slammed their sides together, then the heavily laden truck did its best to climb the guy wire of a power pole before overturning. Tatsu-Ranma had just barely enough time to jerk his head back down below the top of the enclosure as the truck began to spin. There were sounds of rending metal and breaking glass accompanied by the crunching noise of crumbling of concrete, then the truck stopped moving. A brief silence ensued, followed by the sounds of a transformer arcing itself out of existence as a light pole fell across the truck. Tatsu-Ranma found himself nose to nose with an irate P-chan. "Bweee! Bwee, grunt, oink, oink!" "You know I can't understand you when you're like this, Ryoga!" Further conversation, or perhaps the lack of same, was interrupted by the sound of approaching sirens. (Yo, Scales!) {{Yes, O Scarlet One?}} (Have we got enough ki to change back now?) {{It would be better to wait until this evening. We will be very weak if we change now.}} (Perfect!) {{Perfect? How so? We will be nearly defenseless! (Yeah, perfect! When the fire department opens this thing, all they'll find in here is a very cute, very helpless, and very naked girl and her widdle P-Chan.) {{I understand. It would be revenge served as cold as it was meant to be.}} "Close your eyes, Ryoga!" Tatsu-Ranma said. "There's gonna be a really bright flash." Ryoga complied. The flash of light was so bright that it hurt his eyes anyway. Once he could finally see, he found a very weak Onna-Ranma lying at his feet. About that time the rear hatch of the enclosure creaked open. A fireman
stuck his head in through the opening, then whistled as a very badly weakened Onna-Ranma vainly struggled to recover her modesty with a squirming and uncooperative P-Chan. "Well!" the fireman exclaimed. "That's the prettiest dragon and cutest little pig I ever did see!" The pig's nose began to bleed profusely. Much to Ishikawa's further embarrassment, a news truck pulled up to the scene of the wreck. A reporter and cameraman came leapt out and began running towards his ruined vehicle. Ishikawa wondered for a moment how much worse things could get, then decided that he had already had about as bad a day as he was going to have. He was wrong, of course. The lady driving the car that had tee-boned his truck was still screaming at the top of her lungs about a dragon and the reporter had a huge grin on his face. "I just love Nerima!" the reporter told his cameraman who limped along beside him as they approached the hysterical woman. The UFO call had proven priceless. Too bad about that little green guy shooting Jiro in the knee with a laser or whatever it was. Still it was worth it. Now they had yet another prizewinner in the weird and wonderful category. ------------------- Tracking Ryoga down in Nerima would have been problematical had it not been for Tatsu-Ranma pursuing him. While P-Chan's tiny hooves left no traces on the hard pavements and concrete of Nerima's streets, Tatsu-Ranma's draconian claws left deep scoring marks with every step he took. Akane had little trouble following the trail Tatsu- Ranma was leaving. The skills of a Kit Carson or a Buffalo Bill were not required. Some remote part of Akane's mind noted that she would have to talk to Ranma about how his dragon form left such prominent tracks as she sprinted along down the street, but for the most part she was thinking of how she and Ranma had been betrayed. Ryoga had betrayed them repeatedly by pretending to be a friend. It was not just the fact that Ryoga had pretended to be her pet so he could sleep in her bed, as bad as that was, it was the other stuff. The stuff he had learned as she babbled away about to P-chan, not realizing that she was talking to her fiance's most powerful rival. She thought about all the trouble that had arisen between her and Ranma as a result of her gullibility and ground her teeth. She and Ranma had faced some fearsome enemies, but none had been as loathsome as Ryoga. Akane whipped through the streets of Nerima like a fast-moving typhoon, her state of mind rapidly worsening. She lost Tatsu-Ranma's tracks briefly until she realized that he had jumped over a fence that Ryoga had crawled under. Not really wanting to find the end of fence, and not being able to jump over its three-meter height, she simply ripped an Akane-sized hole in it with her bare hands. Nothing was stopping her! NOTHING! Not today! Today was an excellent day for Ryoga to die, and she was going to see to it that he did not miss the opportunity. She had not, however, counted on interference by the mission-driven Shintarou Ishikawa. How could she? How could anyone, even if they were native to Nerima? Ishikawa did, in his own curious way, fit right into the district. ------------------- The Kunoichi, Konatsu Kenzan, was the sort of martial arts talent that only came along once in a hundred generations. He was fast. Only Ranma Saotome was faster than Konatsu and then only because Ranma trained almost constantly. In terms of raw talent, Konatsu was Ranma Saotome's equal, and perhaps in one or two aspects of their nature, a bit better. On this cold, soggy Saturday morning however, Akane Tendo was humiliating him. She was outrunning him easily and worse, she had not shown the faintest sign of tiring after running three kilometers in a full out sprint. Several people were going to pay dearly for all this, Konatsu thought to himself. One of them will doubtless be Akane Tendo. She is going feel as though she had been run over by a herd of elephants come sundown. Konatsu decided that it would not be a good idea to join her in such a self- inflicted incapacitation. If anything got Ranma down, and Akane herself was down, there would be no one left to protect Akane. Ukyo would be left with the entire burden. He did not like that idea at all. The fractious pair tended to attract troubles the way honey drew flies. It was time to use his mind rather than his muscles. He watched as Akane skirted a cab parked at the curb. A cab! Aha! What luck! Konatsu jerked open the door and dove into the back seat. "Follow that girl!" "Looks like Ranma Saotome,
to me," the cabbie said in a thick, American accent as he cranked his engine. "Isn't he a guy?" "That isn't Saotome-san! It's his fiancee, Akane Tendo," Konatsu got out between gasps for air. "She's started dressing like him now?" "Ah, well, just for today I think. She didn't have anything else handy to wear." "Oh," the cabbie said as put the car in gear and stomped down on the gas in an effort to catch up with the rapidly receding Akane. "She sure is fast! Are you sure that isn't the Saotome kid?" "I'm sure," Konatsu said. "You must have been working around here for a while. You seem to know the locals." "Yeah, about nine months now, I guess," the cabbie said with a rueful grin, "I used to drive a truck, but my tractor got impounded the day I got here. My name's Jack Burton. Aren't you the waitress at Ucchan's Okonomiyaki?" "That's me. My name is Konatsu." "Pleased to meetcha, Konatsu!" Burton said, then grunted as he cranked hard on the wheel and caused the cab to fishtail around a corner as they followed Akane. "Oof!" Konatsu cried out as he slammed into the door on the far side of the car. "Hang on!" Burton shouted as he flung the cab though a pair of tight turns. He could not actually keep up with Akane by staying directly behind her. She was moving fast and though traffic was not terribly heavy, there was just enough of it to make staying with her in an automobile a struggle. "Man, she can run! Are you really sure that's Akane Tendo?" Burton asked as he dodged an oncoming truck, ran up on the sidewalk on the right-hand side of the road for half a block, then darted through the traffic to get back into left lane, where drivers in Japan are supposed to drive. "I'm sure!" Konatsu said, through teeth clinched in fear. "She's ... It's just that she is very angry at the moment, that's all." "Oh, I see! She's chasin' the Saotome kid again, right? What did he do this time?" Burton asked as he took a shortcut by driving through a fence, then running along the steeply inclined embankment of a drainage canal for several hundred meters before hopping the cab back up into the street. It would have been much easier on Konatsu's nerves had they re-entered on the left-hand side of the road, but Burton was an American and still had a tendency to forget which side of the road was his. They avoided three different head-on collisions by no more than the thickness of a layer of paint before Konatsu could answer his question. "I think it's something to do with her pet pig!" "Oh, I see. By the way, kid, have you got any money on ya? I don't do this stuff just for my health, you know!" "Don't worry, Baato-san," Konatsu said, "I'm sure I can make arrangements to pay through Tendo-san's sister." "Yeah?" Burton asked, as they took yet another shortcut through a park. Burton made the cab fishtail beautifully as he flung it side-to-side, dodging a monkeybars and a swing set. "Which one? Kasumi or the other one?" "Ah, Nabiki." Burton shuddered visibly as he again wrung the wheel of the cab hard to the right and they went barreling down through a narrow alleyway, piling garbage cans up in front of the cab as they went. "Take 'ol Jack's word for it, 'Natsu-chan," Burton said with a heartfelt grimace. "Never borrow money from her and always bet the same way she does. You'll miss out on a lot of misery that way!" Burton stamped down hard on his brakes, allowing the garbage cans to tumble away from the car before wrenching the wheel over into a hard left turn. "Eep!" Konatsu responded as Burton somehow managed to get the cab up onto a railroad track and then accelerating rapidly to about ninety kilometers per hour. Being on a railroad in an automobile, while disconcerting in its own right, was made even more distressing by the oncoming train they were now about meet head-on. "Well, nuts!" Burton cried out in disgust. "Now I'm gonna hafta go a little faster or I won't reach our turn-off before he does. I hate trying to stay up on the rails at that speed." "Mommy!" Konatsu said, as he noticed a large bead of sweat running down the back of Burton's neck. The engine of the cab roared as Burton tramped down upon the accelerator. Whoop! Whoo-oo-OO-oop! Whoo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-oop! The engineer of the train was rightly insisting that he really did own the right of way, and the laws of physics were backing his claim. Konatsu did his best to ignore the oncoming train by focusing his attention upon the inexplicably fleet-footed Akane Tendo as she sprinted along the street running parallel to the tracks. "It's a shame," Konatsu mumbled to himself, "I had much rather have been watching Ukyo
like this just before I died." ------------------- Akane rounded a corner only to see Tatsu-Ranma's head pop up through the rear enclosure of the dogcatcher's truck. This unexpected sight caused her to stop running and realize for the first time just how hard she had been running. The truck stopped and the dogcatcher got out and said something to Tatsu-Ranma that she could not make out over her own heavy breathing. "We had to have some fresh air in here, man," Akane heard Ranma rumble in his draconian voice, "I toldja the fumes were makin' me sick!" The dogcatcher said something else she could not hear. "Yeah, whatever!" Akane heard Ranma say. "Let's just get this show on the road, okay?" The little dogcatcher looked disgusted, then got back into his truck. Akane tried to run after them, but her legs refused to cooperate. Realizing that now both she and Ranma were in need of help, she began looking for a pay telephone. At that very moment, Jack Burton's cab rounded the corner on two wheels, tires squealing in protest. Akane ignored her the pain coming from her protesting legs and willed them to carry her to the relative safety of the sidewalk. The cab slid to a screeching a halt at the curb, and then Konatsu stuck his head out of its window. "Are you all right, Tendo-san?" Konatsu asked. "You look as though you might have overexerted yourself." Akane was too out of breath to answer. She just staggered over to the door of the cab, yanked the door open, then fell inside. "Take me to the pound," Akane said between gasps for breath. Burton gave Konatsu a questioning look. The pasty- faced Konatsu closed his eyes, looking as though he was about to wade across the Acheron in his bare feet and no jockstrap, then nodded his head. Burton tramped down on the accelerator. Konatsu whimpered as the cab shot away from the curb and down roared down the street. Konatsu squeezed his eyes shut and kept them that way. "Hurry!" Akane shouted. The cab's tires squealed in response. "I am!" Burton shouted back. "Why are you in such a rush to get to the pound? Homesick or something?" Konatsu winced, expecting Burton to immediately lose control of the careening cab. Burton did brake suddenly and swerve the cab to the right and back to the left again. "Just run over it, Baka!" Akane shouted. "They make ya pay for them little pedestrian markers when you run over 'em, lady!" "So?" The cab lurched hard to the right, going into a prolonged slide, then whipped left and right a couple of times. "Dodge more gracefully!" Akane shouted at Burton. "You're going to get us all killed." "Hey! I am dodgin' graceful!" Burton shouted back, "The streets are narrow and you guys drive on the wrong side of the damned road!" "Watch out for that ... " Before Akane could finish, the cab leapt up onto its two left wheels. Akane slid across the seat and slammed into Konatsu. Konatsu wondered if a life-sized bronze had tackled him. He ignored the pain and kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut, hoping against hope that the door would not suddenly pop open. "How's that fer grace, yore Grace?" Burton inquired sarcastically at the top of his lungs. "Stop showing off!" Akane shouted back. "We haven't got time for this!" "Man, you're hard to please!" Burton shouted at Akane. "That Saotome kid must be one hell of a man!" He does have the occasional problem with humility, Konatsu thought silently to himself. The cab abruptly dropped back down on all four wheels. Konatsu used all the focus he had to stop himself from crying as Akane's iron-hard elbow inadvertently dug into his thigh. "Ya-a-a-a-ah!" Akane and Burton chorused as the cab launched itself into the air. Konatsu whimpered quietly to himself. Sometime around four days after forever, the cab slammed back onto the street, bobbed several times, then went into a hard left turn, which caused Konatsu to slide across the seat until he collided with Akane. That experience, Konatsu decided, was like rather like tackling a steel goalpost. "Be careful, Konatsu!" Akane shouted as she unthinkingly brushed him away, causing him to slam into the door on his side of the cab. "You could hurt somebody like that!" The cab again took to the air and slammed into the street again. Konatsu banged the top of his head on the ceiling of the car, then banged his forehead into the back of Burton's head. Konatsu terminated his gyrations by landing with a crunch in the rear floorboard. "Hey!" Burton bellowed as he jerked the wheel hard to the right, "Take it easy, will ya?" The sudden turn took Akane by surprise. She lost her balance then fell on top of Konatsu. Konatsu's rib cage, not Konatsu,
groaned audibly. Konatsu himself, ever the stoic remained silent. "Sorry, Konatsu," Akane said in an abashed whisper. "That's okay, Tendo-san," Konatsu squeaked. "I understand." "Will you drive a little more carefully?" Akane shouted at Burton as she sat up and tried to straighten out her disheveled hair. "I'm beein' as careful as I can under the circumstances, lady!" "So quit wasting time and get us to the pound!" Akane bellowed. Shortly after this exchange, Konatsu could have sworn that the cab had done a complete barrel roll. He could not be sure about it, of course. He had kept his eyes tightly closed throughout the entire maneuver. He was also pretty sure that automobiles were not supposed to be capable of barrel rolls, but what did he know? This was his very first ride in an automobile and would be his last ride in an automobile, provided he survived this little jaunt. At the moment, he fully expected to die, then shuddered at the thought of being carried to his grave in a motorized hearse. It seemed unfair somehow. His morose reverie was broken as the cab fishtailed violently several times. This caused him to slam into the door on his side of the car, then slide across the seat until he met up painfully with Akane in the middle of the seat, then slide into the door again. He worried that his ribs would never been the same. Then it all came to a sudden stop as Burton tramped down upon his brake pedal with both feet. Konatsu sat very still, paying very careful attention to what his ears told him. His middle ear told him that he was no longer moving. His hearing told him that both Akane and Burton were holding their breath, but the cab's engine was still panting like an angry beast gathering itself for yet another charge. Konatsu slowly opened his eyes. A short distance away in front of the cab was a milling crowd of onlookers, a fire truck as well as several other emergency vehicles. In the middle of it all, Konatsu could see an overturned truck, which clearly belonged to the Animal Control Department. "Gee, the fire department sure got here fast," Konatsu said. "I didn't even hear the sirens!" Akane and Burton stared at Konatsu quizzically. "What? Did I get knocked out when we hit the truck?" Konatsu asked. Akane shook her head no, then tried to get out of the cab. Her badly overworked legs failed her and she collapsed. Concern had replaced the rage that had inhabited Akane's face just a few moments before. Konatsu watched with growing admiration as Akane forced her badly overworked legs to hold her upright by sheer force of will. He doubted that he or even Ranma Saotome could have done such a thing. "Wait here!" Akane said to Burton, her tone of voice suggesting that leaving would be tantamount to suicide. "Yes, ma'am!" Burton answered with a grin. "I'll stay right here until you come back, just remember that the meter's still running." Akane grimaced at the pain in her tortured legs and began plowing through the crowd. Burton watched her for a moment, then looked back at Konatsu. "Whatever on earth makes you guys think she needs protection?" Burton asked. "Ah, well ... " "Never mind!" Burton said, with a shudder. "I found out a long time ago that there's some things in this world a man is better off not knowin'!" Konatsu gave Burton a puzzled stare. "Say, shouldn't you be goin' with her?" Burton asked. With a gasp of alarm, Konatsu leapt from the cab and disappeared into the crowd. Burton shrugged his shoulders at this, then rummaged around in his floorboard until he found his cellular telephone. He began dialing numbers as a huge grin lit up his face. ------------------- Ukyo and Nabiki did end up taking a walk in the cold drizzle, mostly because of Nabiki's curiosity. She had been puzzled over how Akane had been able to follow Ranma and Ryoga. She and Ukyo alike were awestruck by Tatsu-Ranma's tracks. "Wow!" Ukyo exclaimed, "Ranma-honey's got some serious toenails." Bee-boop! Bee-boop! Nabiki popped open her cellular telephone with a practiced flick of the wrist. "Tendo," Nabiki said into the infernal device. "Top o' the mornin' to ya there, Nabsydoll," Jack Burton said. "How much cash you got on ya this mornin'?" Nabiki rolled her eyes towards the heavens, then grinned in spite of herself. Jack Burton was a clod and a gaijin, but a likeable one for all of that. She just thanked the kami that she did not have to put up with him for long periods of time. "What's going on, Jack?" Nabiki asked, being careful to sound skeptical. "Oh, I'm sittin' here lettin' my meter run while I wait for your baby sister to come back." Nabiki took
in a deep, quiet breath of alarm. Hiring a cab in Tokyo, anywhere in Tokyo, cost about the same as a first-class berth on a cruise ship headed for the Mediterranean if you figured it by the hour. Cabbies were one of the few life forms on planet earth that were actually more predatory than Nabiki herself. She held a kind of grudging respect for them. "So where are you and what happened?" Nabiki asked. "Aw, now, Nabsy-doll! You know information is always sold separately!" "Okay," Nabiki said, sounding grimly determined, "One thousand." "Five," Burton said, putting a hard edge in his voice. "Two," Nabiki said. "Twenty-five hundred," Burton said, "I'm feeling generous this morning." "Done," Nabiki said, sounding disgusted, but actually thankful she had gotten off so cheaply, "the only reason you're feeling generous is your meter is still running, you pirate!" Burton laughed, then brought her up to date. Nabiki closed her eyes and shook her head. "Do you know where Doctor Tofu Ono lives?" "Yeah, sure! I know were he lives," Burton said cheerfully. "You may as well go by and pick him up on your way back to the clinic," Nabiki said, then added in a tired voice, "I'm sure he'll be needed." "Not a problem!" Burton said, again sounding disgustingly chipper. "Are you gonna call him, or do you want me to?" "I'll call him, Jack!" Nabiki said emphatically. "You greedy gut!" "Hey! It takes one to know one, Nabsydoll." "Later, Jack." "Say, what're you doin' for dinner tonight?" "Playing poker over at Kuno's," Nabiki lied, sounding flattered in spite of her best efforts not to. She had been through this kind of thing with Burton before and knew full well that he was not serious about taking her out. If she accepted his offer he would say something insulting to change her mind. She had concluded early on that obnoxiousness was Burton's art and that he never passed up an opportunity to practice it. What she did not realize was that Jack Burton's obnoxiousness was very like Ryoga Hibiki's sense of direction and did an even better job of keeping Burton isolated from the rest of humanity. "Aw, nuts!" Burton said, feigning disappointment. He would not have known what to do had Nabiki accepted his invitation, after all. "I was thinkin' of takin' on a really big steak tonight and wanted help whippin' it down to its knees, but I don't suppose you can pass up a chance to rob the babies of their lollipops, can you?" "You got it, Jack!" Nabiki said with a grin as she broke the connection. She immediately speed-dialed Tofu's home telephone number. "Hello?" a familiar voice on the other end answered. The voice was very familiar. It belonged to Kasumi. "Sorry, Sis," Nabiki said, "I must've dialed your number by mistake. I was trying to call Doctor Tofu." "Oh, you dialed the right number, Nabiki," Kasumi said, sounding happier and more smugly self-satisfied than Nabiki had ever heard her sister speak. "Hang on while I go get him." "Thanks, Kasumi." Ukyo looked at Nabiki and raised both eyebrows. "Kasumi answered Tofu's telephone?" Nabiki nodded her head yes. Both girls looked woozy for a moment, as though the ground had suddenly shifted beneath their feet. "Nabiki?" Tofu asked on the other end of the call. "Good morning, Sensei," Nabiki said into the telephone. "Is something wrong?" "Yes, but I don't know if you will be treating a pig, a dragon, my baby sister, or all of the above." Tofu chuckled. "I gather the excitement is still in progress?" "You could say that," Nabiki said, then sighed. "I have already arranged for a cab to pick you up." "All right then, when can we expect it?" "Sometime in the next thirty minutes or so, I'd imagine," Nabiki said. "It's hard to say for certain at this point. Right now the cabbie is waiting on Akane. I expect she and the other potential patients will be arriving at your doorstep shortly." "I suppose we had best get dressed then," Tofu said. "Thanks for the warning, Nabiki." "Not a problem, Sensei," Nabiki said, then broke the connection. Her mind replayed Tofu's last sentence as she put away her telephone. "We had best get dressed?" Nabiki asked no one in particular. "They weren't wearing any clothes?" "Oh, my!" Ukyo said. "Gotta give Sis credit," Nabiki muttered. "When she decides to make the move she doesn't take half-steps." ------------------- Jack Burton hummed to himself and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his cab as he stared out the windshield, waiting for it to happen. He had no idea what "it" would be, but knew with absolute certainty that "it" would happen soon. He did not get to try his patience for very long. A large
television camera of the sort used by professionals sailed over the heads of the crowd and slammed down onto the top of the news-van. It was quickly followed by what Burton assumed, judging from the poor sod's clothing, to be a cameraman. Shortly before the noise of the cameraman's rather clumsy landing had completely diminished, another man fell screaming out of the sky, crashing into the top of the van alongside the cameraman. This second fellow was definitely a local reporter. Burton recognized the guy, having seen him on television. Burton grinned upon hearing several screams from somewhere near the center of the crowd. Several firemen sailed into the sky. To Burton they seemed to be in control of themselves and were grinning, leading him to believe that they had simply leapt away from some newly arisen threat. The crowd surged outwards in radial pattern at about the same time, then they suddenly began laughing. This last surprised Burton. The crowd parted between his cab and the wreck, revealing the approach of an irate Akane Tendo bearing what looked to be a body wrapped in a blanket. Striding alongside her was Konatsu, carrying at arm's length what appeared to be an unconscious pig, bleeding profusely from its nose. Behind this rather striking pair was a prim and proper looking little man, waving his arms in protest of the morning's proceedings. He seemed quite surprised by it all. Burton felt sorry for the poor guy. His face and neck were covered in lipstick smudges. Burton knew all to well how badly lipstick could ruin a guy's scene. The fact that this guy was obviously some kind of official, only made matters worse. Burton shook his head in sympathy as he reached down and flipped a lever beneath the dash, causing the cab's trunk lid to pop open. "I got some plastic in the back, 'Natsy-chan," Burton said as the ninja came alongside. "Spread it out first. The last thing I need is your pet staining the carpet back there. Bloodstains tend to upset my normal passengers." Akane gave Konatsu, or perhaps it was the pig, Burton could not be sure, a fierce glare followed by a sharp sniff. Then she carefully placed her burden upon the back seat of the cab. It was a lovely, redheaded young woman about Akane's age. Burton could not see much, but suspected that the girl must be nude beneath the fire department's blanket. He wondered if this was not the famous Ranma Saotome that he had heard so much about. He had seen the Saotome kid in his male form, but never as a female. Burton's mind suddenly froze in stark raving terror. "Please tell me she doesn't have green eyes," Burton said in a begging voice to Akane. His face was covered with that peculiar, greasy sheen of sweat, which is only born of fear. Akane gave him a puzzled stare. "He's a guy and his eyes are blue! Why do you want to know?" Burton's face reflected his sudden, heartfelt relief. "Just checkin', that's all," Burton said in a small voice. He looked up sharply when Konatsu slammed the trunk lid. "Didja spread out the plastic first?" Burton asked Konatsu as the ninja reluctantly sat back down in the cab. "Yes, Baato-san," Konatsu said as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "Good girl!" Burton said happily as he operated the lever that shut the passenger door of the cab and tramped down on the accelerator. "We're off!" "Where are you going?" Akane bellowed. "The clinic is that way!" "What good's the clinic without the doctor?" Burton asked. Konatsu shuddered, as the cab seemed to do yet another pair of barrel rolls. "We have to go to our clinic!" Akane shouted. "Doctor Tofu is the only doctor that knows how to treat Ranma properly!" "I know that!" Burton shouted back as he tramped down on the brakes and wrenched the wheel hard to the left. The cab fishtailed its way between a pair of parked cars and an oncoming delivery truck. "I talked to your sister while you were rescuing your girlfriend. She told me to pick him up at his condo." "Well where is she?" Konatsu whimpered as he realized that the cab was again completely airborne. "Who?" "My sister, you baka!" "Hey! No need to get personal! She's at the clinic." "How did you talk to her if she's at the clinic?" Burton waved his cellular telephone by way of answer. "Well why didn't you say so in the first place?" Akane demanded in a loud voice. "And be more careful!" "Hey! You're in a hurry, right?" Akane nodded her head. Konatsu shuddered violently but no one noticed. "Well this town is one great maze of twisty little passages all alike!" Burton said as he dodged between a couple of trains at the crossing of a double track. "There ain't no other way to hurry
around here!"
E-Mail Me
Comes The Cold Dragon Nabiki and Ukyo were downstairs waiting when Burton pulled up to the curb in front of the clinic. Kasumi had called them a block or so away. Kasumi got out of the front, after having thanked Burton for such an entertaining ride. Tofu Ono got out of the back next, then reached inside and withdrew a very limp Onna-Ranma. Nabiki noted the care and protectiveness with which Tofu seemed to be handling Ranma's limp form and found it revealing, but not terribly surprising. Ranma seemed to grow on everyone that was around him very much and Tofu had seen quite a bit of Ranma since his arrival in Nerima. It took Akane three separate tries and Kasumi's help to get out of the cab. Nabiki rolled her eyes at this. Not only would there be more bills, but Ranma would likely be furious once he found out. "Are you okay, Akane?" Nabiki asked worriedly. "I'll be okay, Onee-chan," Akane said irritably, "I just overdid it a little, that's all." "Are you sure?" Nabiki asked. Akane grimaced as she nodded her head yes. Nabiki stood aside so that Kasumi could help her youngest sister into the clinic. The slow drizzle turned into a light rain as they went into the lobby. Nabiki deployed her umbrella, then turned back around only to find Konatsu clinging to the open door of the cab for support. The ninja looked like the proverbial cat caught in the washing machine--frazzled and bruised. "Oh, Konatsu!" Ukyo cried out, sounding dismayed. "What on earth happened to you? You poor baby." "It's a long story, Ukyo-sama," Konatsu said in a weak voice. "Where's Ryoga?" Nabiki asked, sounding concerned. "Ryoga?" Konatsu asked, sounding puzzled. "I haven't seen him all morning. Was he here?" "I mean P-chan," Nabiki amended. "He's in the trunk," Konatsu said tiredly. "He had a nosebleed and the Baato-san did not want him in the passenger compartment." "Konatsu, honey, are you okay?" Ukyo asked, with obvious concern on her face. Konatsu looked past the chef at Nabiki and gave her a sly wink, then slid into a slow collapse. Ukyo caught him, of course. "Let's get you inside before you catch your death of a cold, Sugar," Ukyo said, carrying Konatsu towards the clinic door. Nabiki chuckled softly as she watched them go. "Hey Nabsy-doll," Burton said in Nabiki's ear, causing her to gasp in alarm. "Yeah, what is it, Jack?" "Money, remember?" "I've got one more little job for you first," Nabiki said. "Money, first!" Burton said, with a grim look on his face. "Gas ain't cheap around here." "You have a pig in your trunk," Nabiki said in a matter-of-fact tone, rather than starting another round of haggling. "Yeah, so?" "I need you to deliver him to the Unryuu farm west of town. Do you know here it is?" "Oh, yeah! That's the place where they raise all those Sumo pigs, right?" Nabiki nodded. "It's gonna cost ya! That place is way, way outta ... " Nabiki slapped Burton hard--with a wad of bills. He grinned stupidly in response. "You win!" Burton said, still smiling. "Put those in the trunk with him," Nabiki said, indicating Ryoga's loose clothing and other gear. "Wha? Whose stuff is this?" Burton asked. "It belongs to the pig," Nabiki said, handing Burton a thermos bottle. "The pig?" Burton asked sounding puzzled as he took the thermos. Realization dawned in his face. "You mean he's ... " "Yet another victim of Jusenkyo, yes." "Has everybody in this town been to China?"
Burton asked, then looked alarmed. "Damn! I nearly forgot Wang and Mai Ying!" "Who?" Nabiki asked. "Old friends of mine! I'm supposed to pick 'em up at the airport!" Burton said. "Would'ya mind if I picked them before I delivered your porcine pal to his farm?" "No," Nabiki said smiling evilly. She knew all too well how Burton drove. "I wouldn't mind that at all. Just make sure he gets to the Unryuu farm, Jack. If you lose him anywhere near Nerima and my baby sister finds out, she'll throw a major fit." "What she did this morning wasn't a major fit?" Burton asked, sounding shocked. Nabiki shook her head no. Burton whistled as he clapped a palm to his forehead. "I'd better get goin'!" Burton said, sounding excited as he carelessly pitched Ryoga's pack and other things into the trunk. "Nice doin' bidness with ya, Nabs." "Pleasure's all mine, Jack," Nabiki said, suppressing the urge to laugh out loud. "Drive safely!" "Hey! This is Jack Burton you're talkin' to here!" Burton said, with an offended note in his voice and demonstrating his agitation by angrily waving his arms. As he got into his cab he added, "I always drive safe!" "Yeah, right!" Nabiki said, as she watched the cab fly off down the street and take the first corner it came to on two wheels. "Except when you're in a hurry, Jack!" ------------------- Nodoka Saotome awoke early, bathed, and made breakfast, finding that she missed Kasumi already. She could not blame the girl for walking Tofu home. Had it been her own daughter in similar situation, having a fine catch like Tofu Ono in the offing, she probably would have advised the girl to do the same. Kasumi had taken a small risk relative to the potential reward. Word would spread quickly, and that was at least part of the idea. Other girls would be warned away from the good Doctor with Kasumi Tendo, of all people, staking her reputation on him. Nodoka sat down at the table in Kasumi's usual place, seeing to it that Genma and Soun were amply supplied with food. Much to her chagrin, they began stealing from each other's plates. As embarrassed as Nodoka felt about it, Soun seemed to enjoy the game. Judging from the look of his technique, Tendo had plenty of practice at stealing food from the plates of others. "Husband?" Nodoka asked, seeing that the two men were fast approaching satiation. "Yes, Nou-chan?" Genma rumbled. "With your permission, I will be gone for most of the day," Nodoka said. "Oh? And why is that, my dear?" Genma made it sound as though he could refuse her, and if he did; Nodoka would have complied with his wishes. She was that kind of traditionalist. However, Genma was not nearly the idiot many believed him to be. "I wish to congratulate our son on his victory over that hoodlum," Nodoka replied, "and spend some time with him." "Of course, dear!" Genma said cheerfully. "That sounds like an excellent idea! I am sure Ranma will find your company a great comfort about now." This last sentence was habit on Genma's part. He was forever watchful of Nodoka lest she cause the boy to become soft. Nodoka managed to contain her desire to scream with red-eyed rage by giving Genma a polite sniff. "Actually, I am rather counting on his comforting me, dear," Nodoka said with a grim smile. Genma looked vaguely surprised for a moment, then smiled and nodded his head. "Of course, Nou-chan," Genma said in his rumbling voice. "Don't worry about him too much. You do remember what the doctor said?" "I will be leaving sandwiches in the refrigerator for lunch," Nodoka said. "Do try to make them last until the evening meal." "Of course, dear." The two men retired to their shogi board for yet another battle of wits. Had it been just them and Kasumi, Soun might have tried to help clear away the dishes, but knew better than to even try such thing in Nodoka's presence. They were slogging through an exceptionally difficult mid-game phase, when Nodoka quietly left the house in her tattered overcoat. She proceeded down the street towards the Ono Clinic carrying a picnic basket and affecting a kind of imperious dignity and reserve, despite her faded umbrella and badly worn geta. The life of a Martial Artist's wife was not an easy one, but Nodoka Saotome carried it off with a style that few could match. She wished the food in the basket could have been for her son as well as Akane, Nabiki, and herself, but that simply was not possible given Ranma's condition. Hopefully, Nabiki had already seen after the delivery of Ranma's rations. She was shocked when Ranma did not appear to be in the green-space between the clinic building and the property's wall. "Ranma?"
Nodoka called out. "In here, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki called from the doorway. "He changed back much sooner than expected." "Already?" Nodoka asked with more than a little concern in her voice. "I thought Doctor Tofu said it would be at least a week." "Well, Ranma probably should have waited at least that long," Nabiki said, her voice sounding angry about something, "but he changed trying to help a friend out of trouble. I'm afraid your son is incorrigibly heroic, even when he should not be." "How is he?" Nodoka asked. "He's pretty weak, but Doctor Tofu thinks he'll be fine after a few days of rest." Nodoka closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then sighed. "What will it take for my son to have a little peace?" Nodoka asked as she tapped her umbrella against her geta to shake the water off. "Doctor Tofu has an idea about that," Nabiki said quietly, clearly sharing Nodoka's concern. She took Nodoka's overcoat and hung it up carefully on the wall of the lobby. "We were about to call you." "He's here?" "Yes, he and Kasumi arrived here about an hour ago. Doctor Tofu is in the lab concocting some medicine for Akane." "Akane?" Nodoka asked, now even more concerned. The future of her clan was riding on these two young people. "Is she sick?" "Well, you know how my baby sister is, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said with an irritated sigh. "She never does things by halves. She overexerted herself this morning chasing after Ranma and Ryoga." "Perhaps you had best explain," Nodoka said. "Who is Ryoga?" Nabiki explained about Ryoga, then brought her up to date the morning's events. Nodoka was furious at Ryoga's behavior towards Akane, but managed to contain it behind her cold, steely facade. "Perhaps I should speak with Doctor Tofu before going upstairs," Nodoka said after an uncomfortable period of silence. Nabiki merely nodded her head in reply. "Do you have any idea why my son tolerated this young man's behavior?" "Aunt Nodoka, one of your son's shortcomings is that he is honorable to a fault. I cannot imagine why Ranma allowed it to go on, but I'm sure he had what he believed to be good reason. Kami-sama knows, it must have caused Ranma enough grief." This brought Nodoka up short. Much of Ranma's odd behavior towards girls was suddenly explained by Nabiki's observation. It was not that her son was unmanly. Ranma was simply trying to be honorable. Nodoka wondered why she had never considered such a possibility before. His behavior was truly amazing, given that his father had raised him. "I'll go see Doctor Tofu now," Nodoka said after another moment of silence. "Will you be joining us upstairs?" "I gather you brought a luncheon along in that basket," Nabiki said. "Yes." "I'll take it up for you and set the table," Nabiki said. "Thank you, Nabiki." "No, thank you, Aunt Nodoka," Nabiki said with a smile, "I was just about to order take-out. This will save us a few yen." "At least you won't have to feed Ranma in his dragon form," Nodoka said with a wan smile. "I wouldn't mind it too much. He'd make a great pet like that, you know." Nodoka managed a smile in lieu of a shudder, then went to find Doctor Tofu. "Ah! Youkoso, Saotome-san!" [Please be welcome, Mrs. Saotome.] "Thank you kindly, Sensei," Nodoka said. "How are things today?" "Well, Ranma is again in great need of rest. He changed back to his human form much too early, but Elder Ko Lon agrees me that he will be fine in a couple of days." "And Akane?" Tofu Ono shook his head. "She has the worst case of acute overexertion I've seen in years. She is going to be sore for at least a week, probably longer." "Will she recover fully?" Nodoka asked, her concern quite obvious. "Oh, yes!" Tofu said cheerfully. "She's quite strong, you know. A perfect match for Ranma in many ways." Nodoka breathed a sigh of relief. "Why don't you try cup of my special tea, Saotome- san." "Special?" "Yes, it's quite rare," Tofu said. "It's a fine oolong, aged for two years with rose petals. I just received a box of it from China earlier this week." "It sounds delicious," Nodoka said, "thank you." Tofu smiled and poured Nodoka a cup of the brew. Nodoka sipped accepted the cup and sipped it. Not only was it delicious, but she could feel the tension flowing out of her even as its aroma reached her nose. "Ranma has a great future ahead of him, you know," Tofu said with a sunny smile, "All we have to do right now is help him past this little hump." Nodoka tightened her grip upon her cup, fighting off a shiver. "Doctor, I'd like to ask you about my son's cursed form, if I may." "You mean his female form?" "Yes." "What would you like to know?"
"Is it truly complete?" "Physically, Ranma is one-hundred and ten percent female in his cursed form," Tofu said in a careful tone of voice, "Mentally, I don't think he knows how to be a female. His psyche is overwhelmingly masculine." Nodoka nervously sipped at her tea again. "Then you don't think he ... suffers from ... has urges ... " Nodoka could not continue and cursed herself for even thinking of the question. "That, I'm sure, is one of the unique challenges Ranma has faced on nearly a daily basis since the day he fell into that spring," Tofu said gently, "but his determination to be a man has never wavered insofar as I can tell." "Then it _does_ affect his mind to some degree?" "He has never said so," Tofu said evenly, "but I cannot imagine how it would be otherwise. He loses several kilos and several centimeters of his reach when he becomes a girl. The change in his body is totally complete, including fully female hormones according to the lab tests." Nodoka took another sip of tea and closed her eyes. "My poor, poor son," Nodoka whispered after a long silence. "Oh, I wouldn't say that, Saotome-san," Tofu said, "He will have a much richer life than the rest of us for all of this." Nodoka opened her eyes wide with shock. "You sound envious!" Nodoka said. "Think of it this way, Saotome-san," Tofu said, "Ranma is one of the few people on this earth who will be able to know what it is to be fully human." Nodoka started to speak, but Tofu held up his hand. "Please, hear me out," Tofu said. "Ranma is not just a fine young man. He is also a lovely young woman, or can be should the need arise. Now he is also a powerful young dragon." Silent tears began to well up in Nodoka Saotome's eyes. "These are opportunities to be treasured, but they do come with a great price. They mean that Ranma must do three times as much growing up as any ordinary human being. The kami have seen fit to ask a lot of him." "It's unnatural!" Nodoka exclaimed. "Nonsense!" Tofu said, sounding amused. "It's all perfectly natural, just extraordinary, that's all." "Natural but extraordinary?" Nodoka asked, sounding suspicious. "Ranma is not the only man to have had this type of curse, you know?" "No?" "Nor is it peculiar to the orient if legend is to be believed. The Ancient Greeks have stories about at least two different individuals who spent parts of their lives as members of the opposite sex." "Did they ever meet?" Nodoka asked, her curiosity overcoming her fears for a moment. "Not as far as I know," Tofu said, "but you have to admit that it would have made for some intriguing possibilities." "I can't imagine," Nodoka said, then winced. "No, that's not true. I think I _can_ imagine and it is one of the things which concerns me." "You needn't be concerned, Saotome-san," Tofu said. "I've watched Ranma and Akane together now for quite sometime. Ranma is so much in love with her I do not think anyone, much less another man, could ever turn his head. He looks at Akane the same way no matter what form he is in at the moment. She is the same by him." Nodoka breathed a huge sigh of relief in spite of herself. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but her son's doctor knew more about him than she did. She was just now barely beginning to know who or what her son was. She could not deny that he was manly after seeing him fight that horrible monster and winning with such relative ease. "But what of his draconian form?" Nodoka asked. "You seem to think his female form has some effect on his mind. Won't this new form effect him as well?" "Oh, certainly," Tofu said, "but Ranma is basically a very decent human being down deep inside where it counts. To him, his draconian form is just another challenge to be mastered. Just as his Jusenkyo curse was a challenge to be mastered." "Has he really gotten control of curse?" "He has at least partial control," Tofu said, "that much is certain. Whether or not he has full control of it, or whether he will be able to control it all the time is another question." "Why?" "Well, changing forms without using water, or resisting it when he is splashed, takes a lot of ki. Fortunately, Ranma generates a great deal of ki. He is the strongest adept I or even Ko Lon has ever seen. Even so, he may not be able to resist the Jusenkyo affect whenever he's very tired, or has expended a great deal of ki. He is in his female form right now because of that." "Oh," Nodoka said. "I did not realize this might be the case." "Then of course, there's the fact that he will need to spend some time in his alternate forms once in a while in order to stay healthy." "What?" Nodoka asked. "Here," Tofu said with a gentle
smile, "allow me to freshen our tea." "Thank you, Doctor," Nodoka said, as Tofu refilled their cups. She told him with her eyes that she would not be distracted from receiving an answer to her question. "Ranma will spend the rest of his life engaged in a kind of balancing act. In order to maintain the proper and healthy balance of his ki, he will need to spend time in each of his three forms." "Then he will need to be fully female when he is female?" "Ah, well more or less. He cannot help that, really. Mentally he remains masculine, but his body is, well ... " "Drop dead gorgeous and female?" Nodoka asked. "Yes," Tofu said with a chuckle, "and his draconian form is, well, very draconian as far as I can tell, even though I'm not sure of all the details." Tofu unconsciously scratched the back of his neck with one hand, then said, "Once he reaches about age eighteen, Ranma will probably spend the bulk of his time in his male, human form." "I don't understand, he doesn't do that now?" "He tries, but he just recently gained partial control of his curse. His real problem has been that young women mature at an earlier age than young men." Nodoka gasped, then covered her mouth with one hand. Tofu raised his eyebrows in response. "You see now what I mean about Ranma having more growing up to do than anyone else? He has three different bodies now. Each of them needs time to grow. He's only seventeen." Nodoka closed her eyes and nodded her head. "His father may not approve of it, but Ranma needs a lot of nurturing right now. The next year or so is going to be quite difficult for him. I think it is well past the time he had a loving mother in his life. The same could be said for Akane." "I'm not sure of what to do!" Nodoka said, clearly distraught. "Is he my son or is she my daughter? Is he a human or is he some kind of kami in the making?" "Welcome to the club, Saotome-san," Tofu said in gentle, but amused voice. "I am his doctor, and I seldom know exactly how to treat Ranma either. I find that I must think every step completely through before I take it. He is no ordinary patient." Nodoka sipped at her tea, looking upset despite its calming effects. "I think your job is much simpler than mine, really," Tofu's said. "How so?" Nodoka asked, sounding slightly offended. "You need merely do what is already in your heart, Saotome-san," Tofu said. "Just love your child and nurture him as best you can." Nodoka stared at Tofu for a long time without saying anything. "It can't be that simple, Sensei." "The normal standards for many things do not apply to Ranma," Tofu said, "but the most important ones are just as much the same for him as they are for anyone else. In many ways perhaps, they are even more important. Right now, he needs a mother who loves him. What could be simpler? Or more complicated?" "Is Ranma conscious right now?" "Yes, in a way," Tofu said. "He is aware of what is going on around him, but he is very lethargic. He may have gone to sleep since I came down here." "Then I will go see him." Tofu smiled at her. "Good! I'll be up as soon as Akane's medicine is finished." "She will bear him strong sons, won't she?" "Hah!" Tofu laughed. "Her daughters will be at least as strong as the average boy. Each of her sons will be more than a handful." "I look forward to that," Nodoka said with a grin, then left the lab and made her way up the stairs. ------------------- Happosai sat quietly in his cell, thinking and reminiscing. He had done much more of that than he liked in the last few days. He was, he had decided, a man living outside of time. He had, over the long years, slowly become a stranger in his own homeland without ever realizing it until today. Japan had changed so much from the time of his youth, that if he stopped and thought about it, she was hard to recognize. The number of people he had known when a young man and who were still alive was quite small. Out of them, the ones he could count as friends were even fewer. He had outlived the majority of his friends and all of his serious enemies. While his wealth was not vast, he was more than comfortable. He was at an age now where he would have to do something truly foolish to ever want for money. Wealth meant very little to him anymore. The only thing left that he actually treasured was The Art. Oh, to be sure, he loved stealing lingerie, but he never kept it for very long. There was a ready market for stolen lingerie in Tokyo and he sold the stuff by the truckload. He did not enjoy keeping his silky darlings nearly so much as he did stealing them, but even
that was beginning to pale somewhat. No, what truly mattered to him now was to see his Art continued. The true medium of a Martial Artist's Art is his students. Having watched two of his best do battle in Furinkan yard, there was no longer any question about which of them was his true heir. Like it or not, it was time for him to begin the hard and dangerous work of passing the torch. He would license Ranma to teach. In teaching, the boy would learn more about himself and The Art than he would from further study with a master. Happosai got out his writing materials and began drafting a license, no, a permit really. Ranma would be allowed one student of his own choice. If that student did well, then perhaps Happosai might certify him as a master of the Anything Goes School. In this, as in all else, the boy would have to prove himself worthy. Ranma would also have to prove himself capable of producing more than one heir. The Art was too important to have its future hopes pinned to the well-being of a single person. Happosai would have preferred that Soun Tendo had remarried and tried to have more children, but that simply was not to be. The death of his wife had reduced the man to a quivering shadow of his former self. Genma had been nearly hopeless from day one. The fool believed that a woman's influence weakened him, when obviously the exact opposite held true. Nodoka was all the backbone Genma had ever had or ever would have. Fortunately, Ranma Saotome showed every sign of having his mother's steely nature and implacable will. Happosai laughed mirthlessly to himself and silently thanked the kami. His waning years were going to prove interesting after all. ------------------- Nodoka paused at the top of the stairs. The climb had seemed interminable to her. She had begun to fear that she had waited too long; that the distance between herself and her child had become so great that the gulf between them could never be bridged. Now, on this very evening, she would find out if she were just a woman with a grown child, or hopefully, a mother. She took in the scene of the second story flat with fearful eyes. The place was warm, but the silence pervading the room was heavy, almost oppressive to Nodoka. Kasumi and Nabiki had finished setting out dishes for luncheon. Nabiki was sipping at a cup of tea while reading a textbook. Akane was lying on a futon next to Ranma, obviously suffering from great discomfort and awake because of it. Kasumi was kneeling beside her baby sister, holding a cup of tea for her. Ranma's appearance was positively frightening; Nodoka had never seen him so pale or his exhaustion so complete; yet he called out to her in the soft voice of his feminine form. Somehow, without ever opening his eyes, Onna-Ranma had detected Nodoka's presence. "Mom?" Nodoka fought against the adrenaline surging into her bloodstream. The desire to tear across the room and throw herself down by Ranma's side was nearly unbearable, but she had an example to set. Her son did need to do a lot of growing up, and he needed to learn the things his father had not troubled himself to teach, or worse, discouraged. Nodoka walked softly across the room with carefully measured steps, then knelt down by her son. "Yes, Ranma?" Nodoka asked as she took Onna-Ranma's left hand. She found the feel of it startling. There was little that could be called feminine about the feel of Onna- Ranma's hand. It was all ropy steel wrapped in the hard calluses of pain and endurance. Nodoka clutched it a bit harder than she intended, waiting for Onna-Ranma to speak. He had to struggle several times to get out the words. "I'm ... I'm ... sorry, Mother. I ... did ... didn't ... mean ... to ... disappoint ... you." Onna-Ranma opened his eyes despite the fatigue plaguing him, staring deep into Nodoka's eyes, worriedly seeking reassurance. Nodoka gave out a little gasp as she felt her heart plummet into those ocean blue depths. "Nonsense, Ranma! You have not disappointed me. I was a little frightened, that's all." "Didn't ... mean ... to ... do ... that ... either." "It was a most difficult battle, my son," Nodoka said, silently cursing at the catch in her throat. "You were magnificent." The obvious relief in OnnaRanma's face tore at Nodoka's heart. Just the day before her son had faced a monster nearly five meters tall with careless ease, as though it were just pleasant walk in the sun. Today all Ranma Saotome was worried about was what she, his mother, thought. Tofu had been right. Her son might occasionally be as much a daughter as a son, or even a dragon in his spare time, but the truth was
undeniable. He was her child. Hers! She loved him and he was as precious to her now as the day he was born. "We are about to have luncheon, Ranma. You should eat if you can." Onna-Ranma moved his head from side to side, and smiled faintly. "Had ... a ... really big ... supper ... last night, Mom." Nodoka laughed softly at this, as did the other girls. "Perhaps you should rest then." Onna-Ranma nodded his head, then felt about with his right hand until he found Akane's left. He gave it a squeeze before falling fast asleep. Nodoka looked up at Akane. "How are you feeling, my dear?" "I ache all over, Mother, but I'll be okay in a day or so." Kasumi and Nabiki both gasped at the word "mother." Both had on some level expected to eventually hear Akane call Nodoka that, but hearing her actually say it came as a shock. Even Nodoka had been taken aback, but she recovered her poise quickly. She gave Akane a sunny smile. "Good. Will you eat here? Or shall I help you to the table?" "I'd like to try eating at the table I think, Mother." Kasumi quickly moved aside, her face aglow with happiness. "Lean on me, child," Nodoka said to Akane. "Don't strain yourself any more than you must." ------------------P-Chan woke up tumbling around within the dark confines of Burton's trunk like a dried pea rattling around in boxcar. To say that he was confused amounts to the understatement of this century and possibly the one previous. He could remember very little of what had happened during his brief ride in the dogcatcher's truck. All he could remember was a hungry-looking dragon speaking with Ranma Saotome's voice. Shortly after he became conscious, the thermos Nabiki had given Burton shattered, covering him with hot water. While the sudden increase in size greatly reduced the velocity at which he banged into the limits of his confines, rattling around in Burton's trunk still hurt. Being assaulted by his own pack and umbrella only added insult to injury. "Great!" Ryoga shouted. "First you swallow me whole, then you go for a long jog! Is that how dragons settle their breakfast, Ranma?" The violent motion tortured Ryoga's middle ear unmercifully. Bile rose in his throat. The good part about this was that he had not eaten for quite some time and therefore threw up very little. The bad part of it was, his stomach insisted that he keep throwing up. If Ranma doesn't stop running soon, my stomach is going to pitch my toenails, Ryoga thought as his empty stomach made yet another painful effort to heave its nonexistent contents. "Why am I throwing up when I should be giving him indigestion?" Ryoga cried out between painful retches. ------------------- Jack Burton did not forget the black piglet in his trunk, but he did have more pressing concerns on his mind. Chief among those concerns was the traffic slowing his progress towards Haneda airport. He was thankful that his friends were coming in from Taiwan, rather than Australia as they had originally planned. That would have meant a trip out to Narita. The very thought of making a trip to Narita caused him to shudder. Once at the airport he could not convince the airport cops that he was there to pick up friends and not a paying fare, so he had to park in the garage. ------------------- The sudden cessation of motion first came as a relief to Ryoga, but then he began to worry. Soon, very soon, Ryoga thought, he would be bathing in the gastric juices of a dragon. Then, over the next several days, he would slowly dissolve, as he became a part of his hated enemy. He would never see Akari or Akane again and it would all be Ranma's fault. Yellowish-green fire began to flicker around Ryoga as the worst case of depression he had ever felt began settle upon his heart. Unfortunately, he did not open his eyes. If he had, the light of his own aura would have given him cause for hope. "Oh, so you finally decided to take a nap and digest your breakfast, is that it, Ranma?" Ryoga bellowed. "I'll show you! YOU BASTARD!" "SHI-SHI HOKODAN!" Life for both Jack Burton and Ryoga Hibiki then became very, very complicated as Ryoga's ki blast tore Burton's cab to pieces and generally made a shambles of the parking garage. Airport security and damage control personnel immediately leapt into action. They were not amused by this turn of events, even after finding a naked and very befuddled Ryoga Hibiki standing in the middle of the wreckage. ------------------Ukyo Kuonji lay back on her futon, marveling at how relaxed she had become. Konatsu had just proven to be a marvelous gift. She just wished she had been
sensible enough to unwrap it sooner. Oh, well. No use crying over spilt milk, right? Konatsu might not be nearly as showy as Ran-chan, but he certainly possessed a great deal of talent. Oh, did he EVER possess some talent! Life without Ranma was going to be pretty good after all, provided she could figure out a way to explain things to her dad. ------------------- There were times when Nabiki Tendo well and truly hated the cellular telephone. Now was just such an instance. She was tired. It had been a very trying day, even though a Saturday. Now, while she and Kasumi were rushing about the house gathering the things needed to take Ranma and Akane out to Tofu's country house, the damned phone had to ring. "Tendo!" Nabiki all but snarled into the infernal device. "Nabiki Tendo?" A rough, masculine voice asked on the other end of the call. "Yes," Nabiki said, sounding both irritated and puzzled. "The Master told me to call and ask about your pet dragon." "Tell him the dragon is just fine and well fed for the moment, but that could change suddenly," Nabiki answered, with a fine, sharp edge of menace in her voice. The man on the other end chuckled then said, "He said to tell you that he needs to see you as soon as possible. He has something on hand that the dragon will want." "Tell him I'll be there as soon as visiting hours start tomorrow morning," Nabiki snapped. "I'm in the middle of covering another emergency." "Are you sure you want me to tell him that?" The man asked. "He seemed rather keen on seeing you this evening." "Tell him that I won't have the dragon leashed in time to make it tonight," Nabiki said, making sure her grin got across in her voice. "He'll understand." "I'll tell him," The man said, then broke the connection. Nabiki shook her head and went about her business. Happosai would just have to wait his turn. Ranma and Akane would always come first in her book. Well, Ranma would always come first, even if she went to her grave without ever admitting it to anyone. Well, anyone but Ranma. Her secret was safe with him.
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Comes The Cold Dragon "Are you sure you're okay, Ranma?" They were standing in the hall of Tofu's clinic, just inside the back door. "I'm sure, Akane. Whatever that was, it's completely gone now." Onna-Ranma looked up into Akane's eyes, hoping to reassure her. Outside a soft, cold rain continued to fall. It would have been romantic if the two of them had not been soaked to the skin and shivering from the cold. "Let's get out of these wet clothes," Akane said softly. "Good idea," Ranma said as they broke eye contact. Akane started down the hall towards their room. "Akane?" She stopped and turned around. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." "You couldn't help it, Ranma," Akane said, "I'm not mad at you." Akane watched Onna-Ranma closely for a reaction as she tried without success to suppress a shiver. She was too frightened and too cold to fend it off. Onna-Ranma's eyes grew sad. He reached towards Akane as though he wanted to offer comfort, but stopped himself. Then just stood staring at her with woebegone eyes while he shivered. Why did he stop? Akane silently asked herself. Is it because he is afraid of how I might react? Or is he uncomfortable being intimate with me while the curse is on him? Maybe it's both. I've yelled at him enough times about touching me whenever he's in his girl form. Her train of thought took a completely
different track when she noticed the wrinkle lines on Onna-Ranma's forehead. There were lines around his eyes and mouth as well. He's more afraid than I am, she realized. He just won't admit to it. He _can't_ admit to it. He would lose control. His legs are shaking and...Akane's thoughts were again interrupted when the light in the brightly lit hallway suddenly dimmed. She looked up. The hallway was lit with fluorescent lighting and the one meter long tubes were glowing as brightly and as peacefully as ever, but their light was not making its way into the area around her and Onna-Ranma. She looked back at Onna-Ranma. He looked as though he were standing in a deep shadow that was quickly growing darker. Akane could now feel the air temperature falling. He's losing control again! She thought. Even as Akane watched, the air around her fiance absorbed more and more light until only the faintest traces of him could be seen. A fine, barely discernible fog was beginning to fill the air around them. "No!" Akane shouted, "Ranma, you stop that this instant!" "Akane..." "Ranma!" Akane screamed, then plunged into the shadows that had engulfed him. Once inside the dark globe that had formed around Onna-Ranma, she could see him. The light was very dim, but there was still light. The air within the sphere was quite cold and getting colder. "Akane get back!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, trying to force her voice to stay calm and almost succeeding, "You get back into control. I'm keeping my place." "Your place is somewhere safe!" Onna-Ranma screamed, "Out of danger, and that's wherever I tell you to be!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, quite calmly but with real iron in her voice, "My place is with you. In danger, out of danger, in heaven or in hell, wherever you are, there am I. Now and forever, Ranma!" "Dammit, Akane!" Onna-Ranma choked on her shriek as her shivering became almost spasmodic. "I ain't got no control over this!" "I love you, Ranma Saotome," Akane said, hearing with amazement as her own voice suddenly become as firm and as gentle as Kasumi's, "I believe in you." The air was now cold enough that their breath could be seen, despite the low level of light. Onna-Ranma dropped heavily to the floor and sat staring up at Akane with pleading eyes. "Akane, please! Please, get back!" Akane dropped to the floor alongside her beleaguered love and caressed his cheek with her right hand. Onna-Ranma's skin was cold and clammy, but still much warmer than the surrounding air. Bright, bluish tendrils of light began to flicker in and out of existence in the cold darkness around them. "I'm not going anywhere, Ranma," Akane said in a calm whisper, "You are my protector. I'm only safe when I am with you." Onna-Ranma choked off a sob, then took a deep breath and held it. After a few seconds, the light suddenly became so bright that both of them were forced to blink. Onna-Ranma let out her long-held breath with a great sigh. "Stubborn, baka!" Onna-Ranma shouted between gasps for air. Akane just smirked at him as she stood up and offered him her hands. Onna-Ranma accepted the offer and Akane helped him to his feet. "I knew you could do it!" Akane said with such a cheerful note in her voice that Kasumi would have stuck a gold star on her forehead had she heard it. Onna-Ranma was not so impressed. "You coulda got killed!" "No way, Ranma," Akane said with an evil grin, "All you needed to do was take control of yourself, and there is no way you would ever let anything you were doing hurt me." They stood holding hands for a long time, just staring into one another's eyes. It was Akane that broke the prolonged silence. "Ranma, this is almost as though you have grown new legs," she said, "You just have to learn how to use them, that's all." Neither Akane nor Ranma had any way of knowing how close to the truth her analogy was. Onna-Ranma broke the spell by taking stock of their surroundings. "Uh, Akane?" "Yes, Ranma?" "Your hands are freezing. Why don't you go get a hot shower and warm up? While you're doin' that, I'll mop up all this water." About half the hallway was covered in condensation and water that had dripped from their soaking wet clothing. Akane giggled. This was the one of the things that truly puzzled her about Ranma. He was compulsively neat. He was not quite as bad as Kasumi, but he truly hated having anything out of place. She remembered all the times he cleaned up the messes left behind by Hinako-sensei and bit her lower lip. Then she giggled again. A distant flash of lightning brightened the room. There was a brief pause, then thunder rumbled around them. "Okay, Ranma." "I'll see if I can find a hanger
for your dress." "Thanks." Akane made her way to the tiny bathroom only to find that her zipper was stuck, not at all unusual for one of her cotton sundresses. There was no way she could pull the dress off over her head while it was wet. She struggled with the zipper with shaky hands for a few minutes until frustration got the best of her. "Ooh! Will you please just break loose!" Akane shouted. The echoes of her voice in the tiny bath hurt her ears. There was knock at the door. "Akane? Are you okay?" "I'm fine!" Akane said, unable to keep the exasperation out of voice, "It's just that my zipper is stuck." "You want me to help?" Onna-Ranma's voice sounded positively fearful. Akane smiled. "Would you, please?" Onna-Ranma came into the bath looking as though he feared for his life. Akane suppressed a giggle. She really couldn't blame him for that, could she? He had already changed into a dry tank top and a pair of boxers. Akane turned around so that he could reach the zipper. He had more than a little trouble with it. He had to zip it all the way up before he could pull it back down and it tried to catch a couple of times. Akane shrugged off her dress before he could leave the room. "Did you bring the hanger?" "Ah--no," Onna-Ranma said, looking somewhat alarmed, "I'll go get it right now." "I guess it's time to let him know how I really feel about his curse," Akane whispered to herself as he left the room. "Maybe then he'll be a little more at peace with himself. Kami knows, he's got enough to deal with already. The least I can do is make sure he understands how little his curse bothers me anymore." She wrung the dress out over the tub until Ranma returned. "This is the only empty hanger we've got left, Akane," Ranma said as he walked back into the room. She handed him her dress. He made a show of putting it on the hanger without looking at her. Akane giggled inside. He wants to stare, but he's afraid I'll get mad. She turned her back to him and began struggling with her bra-strap. "Could you undo this for me, Ranma?" "Uh...er..uh...are you sure?" Onna-Ranma stammered as he hung the dress on the hook Tofu had installed on the bathroom door. "Please? It's wet and I can't get a good grip on it." "Okay," Onna-Ranma said in a tiny, squeaking voice. Akane could feel his shaking hands as they fumbled with her brassiere. It took him a minute or more to figure out how the clasp worked. "Give me your hands, Ranma," Akane said as she felt her brassier go slack. She held her arms back while quickly opening and closing her hands. Akane could not see Onna- Ranma's face, but could easily imagine how it must look. She smiled to herself. When Onna-Ranma fearfully touched her fingers, Akane seized his wrists, then pulled him towards her until she could feel his body pressed against her back. "You're so warm," Akane said in a soft voice. "Eep." Akane smiled, then slid Onna-Ranma's tiny hands beneath her bra and pressed their palms against her breasts. Oh, kami-sama it felt good! Onna-Ranma began shaking and pressed one cheek against her back. Akane felt Onna-Ranma's tears before she heard his suppressed sob. "I love you, Akane!" OnnaRanma said, as he pressed their bodies together in a fierce hug. Akane moaned, luxuriating in his firm embrace and the pressure of his hands against her nipples. She wanted more. She wanted a lot more, but it was too soon. We aren't ready for that, yet. She thought. "Akane?" "I know, Ranma," Akane said as she pulled his hands away from her breasts and pushed them down to her waist. She released his hands and turned around. Ranma stepped back a little in cooperation. Akane looked into Onna-Ranma's sea- blue eyes and smiled. "I love you, Ranma." Onna-Ranma was looking very confused and very fragile. Akane realized that she would have to be very careful at this point. The least little thing would shatter him. For all his courage and all his power, Ranma was easily crushed. Akane wished she had realized it sooner. "You are _my_ man," Akane said as she gently laid her palms on either side of Ranma's lovely face. "My only man." Onna-Ranma looked as though he had very serious doubts and more than a few questions that he was afraid to ask. Akane smiled, knowing that words never came easily to him. She bent down and kissed him gently on the lips. The fire that raged in both their bodies shocked her. The kiss plunged them into the depths of a passion long felt, but never appeased. Thunder rolled several times, driving the flames higher. Finally, the need for air forced them to break. Akane pressed Onna-Ranma's head to her chest and stroked his hair. "I could never do anything like this with a girl, you know."
Onna-Ranma wept. Akane held him tight and kissed the top of his head. "I really do love you, Ranma," Akane whispered to him as the sound of gentle rain filled the quiet of the clinic. "You are the only man I know worthy of me." "Akane," he paused to sob, "I can't." Onna-Ranma's voice failed him again, "I don't..." "Shh, Ranma," Akane said, "Just let me hold you. I'll always be here to help." "Do you really mean it?" "I love you, Ranma." "Even when I'm cursed?" "You're still my Ranma, even when you're cursed," Akane said in a soft, reassuring voice, "Maybe especially when you're cursed. I think it's made you more of a man than you could have been otherwise." Onna-Ranma's tears came hot and fast. "I don't feel very manly right now, Akane." "If ever there was a single human being anywhere on this earth that deserves a good cry right now, it's you, Ranma Saotome." Onna-Ranma shuddered, unable to stop the tears. Akane knew to the very depths of her soul that she was the only woman on earth that he could trust this much. Not even his mother could stand by him in this crisis. Outside, there was a bright flash, followed by a loud crash of thunder and the lights went out in the clinic. Akane scooped Onna-Ranma up into her arms and walked out into the hall. He clung to her neck with both arms while laying his head against her shoulder. Akane felt the heat of his tears as they trickled across her skin. It made her shudder. She set Onna-Ranma down gently on his bed. Onna- Ranma rolled onto his side and took Akane's right hand in both of his own. "Go get your shower, Akane. I'm better now." "Are you sure?" Onna-Ranma nodded, then pressed Akane's hand to his lips. "I won't be long, Ranma." "Akane?" "Yes?" "Will you come say good night before you go to bed?" Onna-Ranma asked in a quavering voice. Akane kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, Ranma. I won't leave you alone. I'll be right back, okay?" "Okay," he said in a thin, faint voice as he gently squeezed her hand. The sound of his voice stabbed at Akane's heart. This was the young giant that had destroyed two different mountains. The man who could get into a fight with the son of a dragon, or even a kami and still live to tell about it. Now he was reduced to begging her to come say good night. For the very first time in her life, Akane Tendo actually felt needed. There could be no doubts or second thoughts on the matter. Ranma needed to be loved and comforted by her, not by Ukyo, not by Xian Pu, not even by his mother, Nodoka. Ranma needed her, Akane Tendo. With the realization that Ranma's needed her and not someone else, came the knowledge that she, Akane Tendo, really was a woman and that all the things that had been said about her that caused her self-doubts were false. For the first time in her life she felt womanly. She was in fact, feeling very, very womanly. "Be strong for me, Ranma," Akane whispered fiercely, "You are my man among men." "I will, Akane," Onna-Ranma sighed, "I expected ya to dump me a long time ago." "Hmph! You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" Akane teased. "What the hell is a flaming kami and few bombs to a kawaii-kune tomboy like me, hmm? None of those other girls could hold up to all we've been through, now could they?" Onna-Ranma managed something like a sickly smile, so Akane returned to the shower. She did not stay long. She was there just long enough to freshen up and make a decision or two. Maybe she should teach Ranma a thing or two before their new life began. After all, nothing would be the same after they left this clinic. Whether or not anyone else ever noticed, nothing would be the same again. Akane knew that things would, if anything, be even more difficult in the near future. Their lives were not going to become simple anytime soon. They had too many known problems to deal with already and only the kami could know how much trouble remained to be discovered in the near future. What they needed now, as in immediately, was a way to form an unbreakable bond. Akane was determined to make that happen tonight. Too many opportunities had been lost to them in the past and an opportunity like this one was unlikely to present itself again for long time to come. For the moment, they were secure from prying eyes and listening ears. There were no worries about hidden cameras or obsessed parents hoping for an excuse to break out wedding invitations. And for once, for the first time in almost a year, Akane would not have to worry about some bitch of a martial artist interrupting them. Tonight's the night! Akane thought. May all the kami forgive me, for I am not going to give
Ranma any choice. Tonight, I make him mine forever. Akane struck a Kuno-esque pose and whispered, "Tonight I will cleave unto thee, Ranma Saotome! And thou shalt cleave unto me. The rest of the world be damned for all I care." The lights came back on and Akane giggled at the way she had been acting. She donned her bathrobe, then walked back into their room. Onna-Ranma was curled up on his left side, staring blankly at the wall. Akane turned off the light in the room so that the only light left was that which came in through the window from the street light outside. The rain had lessened a little, but still sighed softly against the window panes. Akane untied her robe as she reached the side of Ranma's bed, then let it fall to the floor. She hesitated at the bedside, savoring the sensation of being naked in Ranma's presence. Onna-Ranma seemed to stiffen. I wonder if he can tell already? Akane thought as she slid into the bed alongside his deliciously muscled, female form. He senses things other people can't. She scooted over until her breasts were pressed firmly against Onna-Ranma's muscular back, then kissed the nape of his neck, right where it joined his shoulder. Onna-Ranma breathed in sharply and held it in. Akane smiled to herself and kissed the side of his neck, just below his right ear as she ran the palm of her right hand over the firm muscles of Onna-Ranma's stomach. "Hmmm," Onna-Ranma groaned. "Akane, what are you doing?" "Teaching you how to seduce me when the time comes," Akane said as she cupped his left breast with her right hand. Much to her delight, Onna-Ranma's nipple stiffened against the small patch of sensitive skin she had left in the center of her palm. She could feel her own nipples stiffening against the soft fabric of his tank top. Unnoticed by either of them, a soft red glow began to fill the room. "What would you know about being seduced, Akane?" Onna-Ranma asked, sounding as though he were about to became very alarmed. "Oh, not much, really. It's just that I've been dreaming that you would sneak into my room and make a real woman of me since you got into that fight with the Musk," Akane said as she slid her hand upwards and began caressing his right breast. Onna-Ranma's breasts were weighty and delightfully plump. "Geez, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a gasp, "That was last winter." "I know," Akane said with a smile in her voice. She kissed the join of his neck and shoulder again. The glow began to brighten. Onna-Ranma squirmed around until he was laying on his back and looking up into her eyes. "I never realized..." Akane cut him off with a kiss as she slid her right hand beneath his shirt and began tweaking the nipple of his left breast with her thumb and forefinger. Onna-Ranma broke their kiss and gasped for air. "Do you have any idea what that does to this body?" He asked. Akane giggled as she nodded her head. The red glow began to scintillate with gold threads of coruscating gold. "Let's just say I have my suspicions, Ranma." Onna-Ranma looked Akane over, then his eyes grew wide with shock. "You haven't...you aren't wearing any..." Akane cut him off with another kiss. The fires of passion roared up to white hot. She could feel the heat boiling up from his body and knew that her own must be warm enough to be glowing. She cupped Onna-Ranma's right breast in her hand, delighting in it's weight and feel. Knowing how much her actions must be arousing Ranma thrilled her in a way she had never felt before. She had never been this excited by anything she had ever done. "Take off your shirt," Akane demanded when they finally broke for air. Onna-Ranma happily complied. Akane began applying teeth and tongue to the nipple of his right breast as quickly as it was exposed to the air. Onna-Ranma groaned as he dropped his shirt on the floor. Akane worked the nipple of his left breast over with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand. "I--,"Onna-Ranma said, "I...I...Aiyah!" "Are you all right, Ranma?" Akane asked. "I'm fine," OnnaRanma said, trying hard not to pant. He laid his hands along either side of Akane's face and tried to pull her to him for a kiss. She resisted his pull and instead began to suck on the nipple of his left breast. "Oh, my!" Onna-Ranma gasped. "Oh, Akane-e-e-e!" Akane stopped what she was doing and looked up at him with an evil grin. The coruscating gold and red brightened, unnoticed by either of them. "Do you want me to stop, Ranma?" "Come here, you!" Onna-Ranma said, as pulled her face down to his, greedily seeking her lips. Akane complied happily, pressing the full length of her
naked body upon his. Onna-Ranma's right knee came up between Akane's legs, causing his thigh to come into contact with her fully distended vulva. She reached down with her right hand and began to caress the inner part of his left thigh near the knee, while rubbing her excited sex against the hard muscles of Onna- Ranma's right thigh. This forced Onna-Ranma up for air. "A-ah!" He cried aloud. Akane began sucking on the nipple of his right breast while letting her hand wander farther and farther up his inner thigh. "Akane," Onna-Ranma whimpered, "You are driving me crazy!" Akane stopped and propped herself up on her left elbow so that she could look down into his eyes. She began tracing little circles on OnnaRanma's hard, flat tummy with the middle and ring fingers of her right hand. Her other fingers were heavily callused from all the martial arts training she had done over the years. "I love you, Saotome." "I can't imagine why, but I'm glad you do," Onna-Ranma whispered. Looking into his eyes was like diving into a deep pool, of cool clear water. Akane could have stayed lost in them for an eternity, but remembered she had work to do. She had years worth of pleasure she wanted to mete out in mere hours. She began kissing his neck at the shoulder again while forcing her fingers beneath the waistband of his boxers. His mons was prominent and covered with stiff curls. Akane delighted in meaty the feel of it and its wiry hair. Her own was much less pronounced, and covered with very straight hair. OnnaRanma clapped her legs together and gasped. "Akane, what are you doing?" "I'm going to turn you into my love slave, Saotome," Akane said with a playful growl in her throat as she pressed his vulva together with her ring and middle finger. Onna- Ranma began to whimper as Akane applied pressure to the little spot just below the peak of his mons. "Feels good, doesn't it, baby?" Akane asked in an evil sounding whisper. "Oh, yes!" "Right there?" Akane asked as she applied pressure in a gentle, circular motion. "Yes!" Onna-Ranma squeaked. Onna-Ranma was suddenly very, very damp. Akane gently slid the slender ring finger of her right hand up and down his rapidly moistening slot. "Akane, stop!" Onna-Ranma said. Akane paid him no heed. "Don't!" Onnna-Ranma gasped. Akane pressed gently until she could feel the moist, inner labia of his now, very excited sex. "Oh, baby!" Onna-Ranma cried. Onna-Ranma reached behind Akane's head and pressed her lips to the nipple of his left breast. Akane was more than happy to oblige him with a gentle nip and a long hard suck, then she lashed the swollen aureole with her tongue. Onna- Ranma gasped and bucked with his hips. Akane's ring finger slid deep inside him well before she intended it to. This wasn't a problem. Onna-Ranma was more than ready, but Akane knew it was too soon for that. She gently withdrew the her finger, gleefully ignoring the desperate motions of his hips as he tried to recover her retreating finger, then slid it upwards until she found his bulging clitoris. She was delighted by the size of it, but rather than rub it directly, she played with the fleshy little hood above it, gently teasing it with the soft pad of her ring finger. Onna-Ranma began to make whimpering noises that were really a wordless form of begging. Akane persisted with this line of sweet, gentle torture until the large tendons at the join of Onna-Ranma's thighs began to quiver, then she finally began to barely stroke his clitoris. Onna-Ranma dug into the mattress with both heels and arched his back. Akane smothered his shriek of pleasure with a deep kiss and applied a little more pressure. Onna-Ranma clapped his legs together and dropped back down onto the mattress. Akane then used both her ring and middle fingers to probe the aching void between his legs, letting them straddle OnnaRanma's rapidly retreating clitoris as they slid in and out of the moist, aching little cavern between his powerful legs. The glow of their intertwined aura went from red and gold to pure gold as the flashing, threads melded themselves together in a single, glowing mass of light. "Oh-ho, me!" Onna-Ranma cried out, as he lost control and spread his legs again. "Akane!" Akane slowed her pace and began gliding in and out of him smoothly and ever so gently. This was not what OnnaRanma wanted. "You're torturing me!" Akane kissed him hard, probing deep into his mouth with her tongue, then she pulled back and gave him an evil grin, still gliding her fingers in and out of his tender flesh. He was becoming very wet now. "But it's so much fun, Ranma." "Oo-oo-oo-ooh." Akane shifted her weight slightly
so she could reach the nipple of his right breast. The color of his aureoles had gone from a light cream color to bright, fleshy pink and looked for all the world like perfectly conical little tents. Akane caressed it lightly with her tongue. Her touch made Onna-Ranma jerk and whimper. Akane stroked a little faster. "Yes!" Onna-Ranma cried as he began to buck with his hips. Akane's fingers slid deep into his moist flesh. She added her forefinger to the two that were already exploring his body and began using her thumb to slide beneath his hood and rub his swollen clit. "Aha, yes!" Onna-Ranma cried as he bucked even faster. Akane let him do with work with his hips while concentrating on keeping her fingers and thumb in the right places. Suddenly her hand was covered with a warm, slippery fluid as OnnaRanma's muscles clamped down as hard on her fingers. Akane wiggled her thumb as fast as she could, being careful not to use too much pressure. Onna-Ranma went wild with the sweet agony of a second orgasm. Akane hungrily kissed him on the mouth. Onna-Ranma pressed her thighs together, capturing Akane's hand. "Akane stop!" Onna-Ranma gasped, "I'm gonna die!" Akane giggled and wiggled her thumb again. "Oo-oo-oo-hoo! You bitch!" Akane nibbled at his right nipple, as even more fluid coated her right hand. "Oh, _please_ stop!" Onna-Ranma begged, "Please? I can't...I can't take it anymore!" His bucking had ceased and was now nothing more than sharp little jerks and spasms. Akane delighted watching his stomach muscles ripple with each movement. Onna-Ranma was panting, but not from exhaustion. Akane kissed him again. They took their time. The kiss was soft, and gentle and lasted for what seemed an eternity. Akane shifted the her weight off her elbow once they finally broke for air, then settled her head in the hollow of Onna-Ranma's powerful shoulder. She kissed his cheek, reveling in the feel of her stiff nipples pressed up against his heaving ribs. She waited quietly, wondering what would he would do to her once he recovered. Whatever he decided, she was more than ready. Hopefully, he would go for hot water. The still unnoticed glow of their blended aura dimmed as it changed to deep orange color of banked coals. ----------- "Would you like me to scrub your back, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked. "Oh, would you Auntie?" Kasumi sounded delighted, "I haven't had anyone here to do that for me since Mother died." "Of course, dear!" Nodoka said, "I sometimes think that the definition of true loneliness is having no one to help you wash your back." Kasumi chuckled. "You never bathe with your sisters?" Nodoka asked. "No, not for several years now," Kasumi said with a fond smile, "They decided they were too grown up to bathe with me several years ago." Nodoka smiled at this as she began work on Kasumi's back. "The four of us should visit the sentou soon," Nodoka said, remembering that some of the best gab-fests that she had ever had with her friends happened while they were at the public baths. Of course, when she was still a young girl, the sentou was not an option. Very few homes had their own furo in those days and the public bath was a necessary institution. Nowadays, the sentou was becoming a form of family entertainment to be indulged in only on weekends. "That would be fun," Kasumi said, then with a teasing note in her voice added, "We could invite Ranma along and make it five." Nodoka chuckled, then answered, "That would be letting a fox in amongst the chickens." "Ranma is actually a very chivalrous young man," Kasumi said. "Yes, and very much a man, even when his curse is upon him," Nodoka said with more than a little pride in her voice, "The women of Nerima should be thankful for his chivalry." "It may interest you to know that he is a constant thorn in Master Happosai's side," Kasumi said with a giggle, "Ranma seems to enjoy interrupting his depredations." "With spectacular results, I'm sure." "And very often amusing as well." "I hope your sister snares him soon," Nodoka said with a sigh. "I look forward to being a grandmother, but I don't want to be an _old_ grandmother." "Oh, I'm pretty sure she has already snared him, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said with a shiver as Nodoka poured fresh, cold water on her soapy back, "I think now she isn't all that sure she wants to saddle him." "Then she shouldn't bother with a saddle and simply ride him bareback," Nodoka said with a smile in her voice as she turned her back to Kasumi. Kasumi silently soaped a rag as she thought those implications through. She blushed once she finally sorted out Nodoka's meaning. "I don't think Ranma will accept the responsibility of a wife
and child until he is certain he can take care of them, Aunt Nodoka." "Why would he worry about that?" "I hate to say this," Kasumi said in a tiny voice as she began work on Nodoka's back, "but I think he wants to avoid being anything at all like his father outside The Art." Kasumi became more than a little alarmed as she felt the muscles in Nodoka's back go rigid. Nodoka took a deep breath and held it for several moments, then let it out in a long, sad sigh. "Well, I can hardly fault him for that, can I?" "Uncle Genma _is_ a great Artist, Auntie." "So my son wants to be greater than his father, does he?" "In more ways than one, Aunt Nodoka." "Then we will help him do exactly that," Nodoka said with a note of finality, "A little more to the right if you would please, dear." Kasumi smiled and the room brightened. Kasumi herself was not aware of this, but Nodoka was. "I am glad you agree, Auntie." ----------- Onna-Ranma lay next to Akane in the softly lit room, moaning a little every once in a while as energy slowly returned to his limp, tingling body. Akane's soft, sweet breath against his neck made him tingle in all the right places. The girlish part of his mind noted that the light in the room was a lovely shade of burnt orange. He delighted in the feel of the fresh clean sheets beneath his girl-type body and the warm scent of Akane cuddled up to his side. Akane's nipples were still very stiff, he could feel them as the brushed against skin every time he took a breath. (Yo, Saotome! You still with me, old buddy?) (BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (I cannot believe you, Saotome! Three little orgasms! That's all! Just three, and you turn into a blithering idiot.) (BLEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BLEEBEE- BOO...) (Yo, Saotome! Your turn at bat, you most manly man among men, you!) (BLEE-BOO-BOOB00-BOO, BLEEEE-BLEE-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (Come on, Saotome! Snap out of it! Time's a wastin'!) (BlurBurr-buh-buh-buh Blur-Burr-buh-buh-buh...) (If you don't snap out of this, I'm gonna hafta do your girlfriend without ya. You sure you wanna miss it?) (Blur-bur-bur-bur-bur...) (Well, let's see--A hot shower would probably snap him out of it.) (LOT'S OF SOAP! BahBlue-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (What? And ruin the ambiance we got goin' here? Are you nuts, Saotome?) (Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloobloo...Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (Yeah, okay. You ain't exactly hittin' on all eight cylinders at the moment.) (Gir-r-r-ls...geddit...habbit bedder...baburlbebur- bur-bur...) (Come again, Saotome? You almost made sense that time.) (Giruls plessur bedder...gurble blonga!) (Yeah, okay. I guess you're right about that, but we need to do something, and do it fast! Akane's lying right here next to us with her motor running.) (GO WHOPPA WOONGA?) (Yeah, uh-huh! We haven't seen Maw Thumb and her four daughters for two weeks. If I get you into a hot shower now, we won't last thirty seconds.) (Getsu nippon gloria, na?) (Yeah, whatever. Be quiet and let me concentrate on this, okay? It's going be tricky and we need to get it right. Akane gambled really big on us tonight. If we don't back her play now, she'll never forgive us.) (...) (Good boy!) ----------- "I don't know if this will actually work," Kasumi said, as she poured a cup of the special tea for Nodoka with exaggerated care, "but the book I borrowed from Doctor Tofu says a cup of this and two aspirin will all but prevent a hangover." Kasumi felt much better after the bath, but her head was still not as clear as she would have liked. "Really?" Nodoka said as she took a sip. It had an odd flavor to it, with more than a hint of sassafras and just a touch of salt. "Haven't you tried it before?" "Well, I've never needed it before tonight," Kasumi said with a rueful smile, "and I could never get Father and Uncle Saotome to try it." Nodoka smiled. "You know, it's very odd, but I think they actually enjoy having a hangover together." Nodoka laughed heartily. It was almost as frightening Ko Lon's cackle. Kasumi smiled into her cup. "I wonder what makes men like that?" "I think it is called, Male Bonding," Nodoka said, then laughed again. "For some reason, suffering together strengthens their friendships." "Aunt Nodoka?" "Yes, Kasumi-chan?" "Tell me about your katana." Nodoka's face sobered as she began to unwrap the old weapon. "Well, it was forged in 1351 by Saotome Nagateru, who was both a smith of the Bizen school and a samurai, being a retainer of the Ogasawa of Kyushu." "Weren't the swords of the Kamakura period normally much longer than this one?" "Yes, and so was this one. It was shortened and sharpened during the Edo Period for Saotome
Hanimoto. It hasn't been touched with a stone since that time. I have always been quite careful about cleaning it and powdering it. The last time it was ever used in anger, Saotome Nabuyuki used it to kill two bandits who tried to rob him in December of 1918." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, putting her hand to her mouth. Nodoka smiled at Kasumi's reaction. "Come now, Kasumi- chan. Surely you've helped your father clean and store the family weapons, ne?" "Yes, but I never..." "I assure you, this sword saw a great deal of use well prior to 1918, as I am sure many of your family's weapons did," Nodoka said as she unwrapped her ever-present katana. She removed the weapon from its scabbard and laid it upon the table. "It's so plain and--and deadly looking, isn't it?" Kasumi whispered. "Yes, it is. Saotome Nagateru made swords for lower ranking samurai like himself and was never particularly famous as a smith," Nodoka said with a chuckle, "Even so, many families around Nara and further south own blades very like this one, so they must have been quite popular as working blades." Nadoka pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve, the took the sword by its hilt and turned the cutting edge up. "Here, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said, "Drop this on the blade." Kasumi did so and the handkerchief cut itself in two with its own weight as it fell across the incredibly keen edge. Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise. She had seen this done with other swords, but they had been museum pieces and were much prettier than this one. "The sword belongs to you, right?" "Yes," Nodoka said with a nod of the head, "My father left it to me in his will." "Then Uncle Genma is..." "Muyokoshi, yes." "Your father adopted him?" "Yes, just before father died, Genma and I were married," Nodoka said with a sigh, "Life was so different back then. Genma and I were very different then." Nodoka looked down at the sword gleaming on the table with a sad face. "Now Ranma and I are the last of the Saotome line." "Aunt Nodoka, why are father and Uncle Saotome so eager to see our clans joined?" "That's a very long story, Kasumi-chan." "I'll make some more tea, then," Kasumi said with a smile, "We seem to have the time." "Why not, dear?" Nodoka asked as she sheathed the katana. "I haven't had a white night in years." ----------- Onna-Ranma turned his head to his right and gave Akane a peck on the forehead. "Yo, Tomboy!" "Who are you calling a tomboy, pervert?" "Roll over onto your other side, Akane." "Hmm, why?" "Just roll over, silly." "Oh, all right," Akane said, feigning irritation. Onna-Ranma cuddled up to Akane's back and purred. Not the fake sort of purr humans ordinarily make as a joke, he actually purred like a cat. Akane smiled at the feel of Onna- Ranma's plump breasts crushed against her back and the vibration of his purring. "How do you do that?" "I don't know," Onna-Ranma said, "It just happens sometimes." "It feels nice." "I'm glad you like it," Onna-Ranma said, just before kissing Akane's neck at the join of her shoulder. "Oh!" Onna-Ranma grinned, then kissed her neck in a sequence of places between Akane's left shoulder and ear. "Oh, Ranma!" "Did I get it right?" He asked as he reached across and cupped Akane's right breast with his left hand. "Mmm, hmm...oooh!" Onna-Ranma shifted her weight so that he could slip his arm beneath Akane's neck and reach up to her left breast, teasing the erect nipple he found there between the ring and middle fingers of his right hand. Akane began to pant. Onna- Ranma began working his way down her neck with kisses. Akane treated him to a squirmy little wiggle, and rubbed her heart- shaped little behind against Onna-Ranma's thighs. Onna-Ranma shivered in response. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" Onna-Ranma noised between kisses. "I was really hoping you would go get some hot water." Onna-Ranma kissed Akane on the neck one more time, then extricated his arms so he could roll Akane onto her back. He sat up in the bed and looked down into her eyes, then placed the palm of his left hand on her tummy, just below her navel. For reasons Akane could not understand, this excited her more than anything else they had done that evening. She could feel a warm flow of energy passing from his hand into her body. "He loves you very much," Onna-Ranma said, "but I want us to save that for our wedding night. Our wedding night has to be special." Akane froze, as the cold claws of genuine terror gripped her heart. "What do you mean HE wants?" Akane asked, "Who are you? The girl that drowned in the spring?" Akane's experience told her that she had good reason for alarm. Her own soul had been transferred into a doll while
an ancient spirit sought vengeance against Ranma in her body. For all she knew right now, some supernatural power could be in command of Onna- Ranma's body. "No, it's not like that!" Onna-Ranma paused, groping for words. "I'm sorry, Akane! This is me, Ranma--or part of him at least." "Are you his female self?" Akane asked softly. "Sort of," Onna-Ranma said, "We're more like opposite sides of the same coin. We are both the same person, but slightly different." "I think I understand," Akane said with smile as the fear in heart melted away, "So where's your male side right now?" "Oh, he sort of a...well...he...uh..." "Lost it?" "Yeah." Onna-Ranma gave Akane a naughty grin, then whispered conspiratorially, "That third one was too much for him to handle." Akane giggled. Onna-Ranma bent down and kissed her. Akane hungrily returned it. "Do you love me, Osage no Onna?" "More than I can say, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a deep sigh, "I really am Ranma at heart, you know. Whoever owns his heart, owns mine. I think Ranma kind of conjured me up to help him handle some of the stuff that's been going on lately." "That is so strange," Akane said with genuine wonder in her voice, "and so beautiful, and so very like Ranma." "Just be sure you understand one thing, Akane," Onna- Ranma said as he began tracing circles on Akane's tummy with the fingers of his left hand, "Ranma _is_ going to crawl into your bed one night, and put his heir into this cute little tummy of yours." Akane shivered from head to foot as a tingling sensation deep inside her body began to grow. Onna-Ranma helped it along by caressing her now quivering stomach with the palm of his hand. "On our wedding night, maybe?" Akane asked, then gasped for air. She knew she must be blushing bright red by now, but was beyond all caring. "If you want it that soon, sure." "He--I mean you, really want to marry?" Akane asked, her eyes shining. "Oh, yes!" Onna-Ranma said firmly, "We want to marry you. We want to have children with you, and we want to live out the rest of our life with you, but we and you...the three of us, have some things to work out first." "We'll talk about it later," Akane said as she seized Onna-Ranma's left hand in both of her own. "But..." "Shh!" Akane kissed Onna-Ranma's fingers, the placed them right where she wanted them the most, "I've got something else I need to you take care of-- Right now!" Akane gave Onna-Ranma a smoking stare that made him shiver, then turn pink from head to toe. Akane reached up and pulled his head down until his lips met the aureole of her left breast. Suddenly, she was enraptured by the sweetest agony she had ever known as Onna-Ranma's slender fingers found their way inside the yearning void between her thighs. Their entwined aura leapt out into the room like the fires of a blast furnace, filling it with golden light enlivened with ethereal sparks of ruby red. ----------- Kasumi sat down and poured tea for Nodoka. The older woman filled Kasumi's cup before beginning her story. "According to family history and legend, the Saotome Clan, the Tendo Clan and the Kobayashi Clan were all part of the Ogasawa Clan on Kyushu, during the time before the first Emperor. Presumably, we were among the first settlers of Japan, other than the Ainu. Legend has it that we fled from a great civilization living in an island chain far away from Japan and visited many places, including China before making landfall in Kyushu." "Does the legend say why we left our original homeland?" "Well, you know how those old stories go, there's more than one version and there doesn't appear to be a great deal of truth to any of them, but they say that we either fled to escape the great evil our most ancient of ancestors wrought, or we fled because of a great, natural disaster. Some of the stories hold that the natural disasters were the result of the great evils committed in those ancient times. I'm not sure how much of it can be believed." "Oh, they sound wonderfully romantic. Are any of them written down?" "Yes, but all the scrolls are locked away in storage. Once my house has been restored, I'll let you borrow them." "I'd love to read them." "The curious thing is, that the Ogasawa did not originally consider themselves to be great warriors. They were primarily traders and explorers. Many of them, mostly of the Saotome line, took up farming and artisanship after they settled in Kyushu. The Kobayashi line stuck to fishing and ship building while the Tendo branch became the traders and warriors." "Oh, my." "But you know how turbulent our history is. Warfare became the rule rather than the exception. Every
branch of the Ogasawa line eventually became a warrior clan. We were no exception to the rule. Oh, some of the Saotome remained farmers and a few never aspired to anything beyond being much-needed craftsman, but on the whole, we became a very warlike people." "Sekigahara changed everything, didn't it?" Kasumi asked, "Was Nerima really a Tendo fief?" Nodoka laughed. "It was _the_ Tendo fief, Kasumichan. The Kuno Clan were merchants. They bought their swords during the latter part of the Edo Period. They were never actually warriors. Nerima remained in Tendo hands until the Meiji Restoration." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "That explains a lot." "I'm surprised you didn't know some of these things, dear." "Oh, I had been told some of the story, but it was a long time ago and I never really believed it. We once held _all_ of Nerima? I always thought we were a minor family." "Oh, you were. Just as we and the Kobayashi were minor players, but that only goes to show how truly powerful the important families were. The Tendo were given Nerima after Sekigahara. The Kobayashi were given most of the islands in the Inland Sea. The Saotome became retainers of the Yagyu and settled in the high country above Nara, even though we still owned some small parcels of land in Kyushu." "The Yagyu?" Kasumi asked, her eyes widening with surprise, "the family of Yagyu Jubei?" "The same," Nodoka said with a nod of her head. She seldom told anyone this much about Saotome history, too few ever believed it. Yagyu Jubei had, in his day, been Japan's most formidable swordsman. Only the reputation of Musashi Miyamoto rivaled that of Yagyu Jubei. "What became of the Saotome holdings in Kyushu?" "Oh, they were sold, or given away. Some were taken by the government and sold to pay off inheritance taxes, but we still own one small piece." "Oh, really?" "Eh, hontoza!" Nodoka said, "it's now in my name." "Does Uncle Saotome know?" "Yes, but he cannot touch it, and would not if he could," Nodoka said in a steely voice, "for you see, that brings us to the rest of the story about the Tendo and Saotome clans." Kasumi refilled Nodoka's cup and Nodoka paused in her story to refill Kasumi's. "When the Ogasawa first settled in Kyushu, the Saotome were entrusted with the duty of storing and safeguarding the Ogasawa treasure." "Treasure?" Kasumi asked, "Why were the Saotome given charge of it?" "Because we were the farmers and artisans, Kasumi- chan. Everything we did was done on the land, so it just made sense that the Saotome line of Ogasawa become the protectors of the treasure." "What sort of treasure was it?" "I am not sure," Nodoka said with a sigh, "my grandfather told me that it was not really a treasure at all, but an archive of ancient knowledge. Some of it supposedly tells about the terrible powers that destroyed our original homeland. He said those secrets were too dangerous to ever be made general knowledge again until the right man came along to wield the power they could unlock." Kasumi gasped, thinking of the Umisen-ken and the Yamasen-ken. Techniques so dangerous that her father had insisted that Genma Saotome seal them up and promise to never reveal them to anyone other than Ranma and Ryuu Kumon. The only reason the Kumon boy had been included was because he had already come into possession of the Yamasen-ken. The boy's father had died trying to master the technique. "Is Ranma the..." "I don't know, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said, pausing to take a sip of tea. "It might be Ranma, or it could just as easily be Ranma's child to be." "I think I am beginning to understand some of the things I found puzzling before now, Aunt Nodoka." "Genma does not know the whole secret, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said grimly, "It is you that I have chosen to share this knowledge with. Genma thinks it is just a treasure that only Ranma or his child will be able to find. He does not know the true nature of what is stored on the Saotome lands." Kasumi blinked, feeling more than a little alarmed at this revelation. "Why me, Aunt Nodoka?" "Because, dear," Nodoka said with a genuine smile, "I can trust you to guide Ranma and Akane if I am not here to help them when the time comes. Genma's advice--well I don't think we need to discuss that." "More tea?" Kasumi asked with a smile, not knowing what else to do. "Thank you, dear. The day Saotome Hanimoto retrieved this sword from the man who made the new scabbard for it, he ran across an old soothsayer. She asked to see the sword's naked blade, then told him that the Saotome line would one day come close to utter extinction, but that it would rejoin with the Tendo and Kobayashi. She said that
once the Ogasawa were again joined into a single tribe, that they would then conquer the very heavens." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, "Is Uncle Genma a ..." "Kobayashi? Yes," Nodoka said with a nod, "and now Ranma will most likely marry a Tendo." Nodoka stared Kasumi in the eye for a moment before she spoke again. "I am sorry to burden you with this dear, but there are several more things you need to know in case the time comes and I am not present. Will you agree to tell no one, until and unless that time comes?" "Yes, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said, wishing her heart would slow down, "I will." ----------- Akane lay on her back pleasantly exhausted, enjoying the feel of Onna-Ranma snuggled up to her side, but just as she began sliding into that dreamy stage of semi-sleep, Onna- Ranma sat up. Akane opened her eyes. Her fiance was sitting seiza (with his legs folded beneath him), fiddling with his pigtail and not quite looking in the direction of Akane's face. Akane felt her vague annoyance evaporate at the sight of this. Ranma only fiddled with is pigtail when he was truly embarrassed about something, or was placing himself at grave, emotional risk, as when apologizing or making a confession. Such a thing did not happen often. Akane keenly felt a sense of foreboding. "What's the matter, Ranma?" She asked. "I...you promise...First you have to promise you won't laugh at me." Akane felt herself smiling her sunniest smile. "It's times like that I wish I could paint, Ranma," Akane said, "A camera could never do you justice when you are like this." "What's that supposed to mean?" Onna-Ranma asked as a scowl marred his lovely face. "It means I love you and I promise not to laugh at you--if I can help it." Onna-Ranma breathed a deep sigh and looked disgusted. "It's the best I can do, Ranma," Akane said, quickly. "I won't make a promises to you when I don't know if I can keep it." "Well," Onna-Ranma hesitated, his face reflecting his internal struggle and indecision. "I guess that's fair enough. I've never let you see..." His voice trailed off and Akane could not hear the last of Onna-Ranma's speech. "Never let me see what, Ranma?" "Akane we need to talk," Onna-Ranma said hurriedly, suddenly much louder than before and sounding determined. "Okay, so?" Akane said. She was truly puzzled now. "Uh, girl to girl I mean," Onna-Ranma said. Akane's heart froze as she stifled a giggle. It would have been a very typical, girlish, one girl to another type of giggle, but she was afraid he might misunderstand. Akane rolled out of the bed to her feet and put her hands on her hips. "Okay, Ranma, but first let's put some clothes on," Akane said with a happy smile. "Huh?" "Girls don't usually talk "girl to girl" while they're naked, Ranma," Akane could not keep herself from giggling this time, "It just isn't done." "Oh," Onna-Ranma said, then reach towards his shirt and boxers on the floor. "No, silly!" Akane said, throwing him a pair of her pajamas. They draped across his head and left shoulder. "Put these on." Onna-Ranma pulled the pajamas from his shoulder and stared at them for a moment, then he stared at Akane for a few seconds, then he shrugged. "Well I guess it makes sense in a way," he said as he began to dress, "The top's gonna be a little tight in the chest, though." Akane's ears burned at this. The kami must be crazy, or have a serious appetite for practical jokes. No natural girl in heaven or on earth could have the petite figure and musculature of an Onna-Ranma, then still muster enough fat to make more than half a boob. Yet here Onna-Ranma sat before her, Hollywood grade breasts threatening to burst the darts of Akane's pajama top. It wasn't fair, but Akane had to admit that it was funny--to a kami maybe. "That's okay, Ranma," Akane said with another giggle, "I'll do my best to remember we're talking girl to girl and not lover to lover." Akane felt an involuntary shiver run through her body as she said the words, "lover to lover." I never thought I'd be saying something like that, she thought. Onna-Ranma froze for second in the middle of pulling the pajama bottoms over the flair of his hips, then continued. I guess it got to him too, Akane thought, as she finished donning another pair of pajamas. She hopped back up onto the bed and sat seiza, facing her lover and fiance. "So what are we talking about here, Osage no Onna?" Akane asked with an impish gleam in her eye. OnnaRanma grimaced at Akane's epithet, then giggled. "HE just calls me, Red." "I think I like Ranko better," Akane said with a smile, knowing that the girl in front of her was talking about Ranma when she said the word he with emphasis, "Do you mind
if I call you that?" "No," Onna-Ranma said, suddenly looking shy, "Not really, but he isn't very fond of that name." "Oh, I'm sorry," Akane said, "I know you were unhappy about hiding things from your mother, but some of the best times we've had together were when you were pretending to be my country cousin, Ranko." "It's okay," Onna-Ranma said, "there's no reason for him to have his way all the time about everything. I mean, it's not like Kami-sama died and made him boss!" Ranko said, then giggled. Akane joined her. "Where is he right now?" "Well, he's asleep, kinda." "Is he going to remember this when he wakes up?" "Oh, yeah," Ranko said as her eyes widened, "and he'll try to give me grief about it, too. You might not get to see me for several days after this." Akane felt her heart go out to the girl now sitting in front of her. "Is he really that bad?" "No, Akane, it's...it's not like that at all!" Ranko said. "Ranma and I are the same person, but we were born a guy and we can only stand being a girl for just so long or just so much, and then we have to be, well, extra-manly for a while." "Oh, great!" Akane said, trying to dampen her annoyance, "I guess tomorrow he'll be very much the macho, jerk again." She stared down at her hands. Her shoulders had slumped and she had begun to rub the forefinger of her left with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand without even thinking about it. "Maybe, maybe not, Akane." "Huh?" Akane perked up a little. "It's a lot easier for him to be his real self here." "Are you trying to tell me that Ranma Saotome is not a macho jerk?" "He is _always_ going to be macho, Akane," Ranko said with a giggle, "Would you love him if he weren't?" "Ah, well," Akane said, then paused to think. She's got a point. I wouldn't be the least bit interested in him if were anything less than thoroughly masculine. "No, I guess not." "He is trying to be less of a jerk, even though maybe you haven't noticed it yet." "Dammit!" Akane said as tears began to sting her eyes, "Why does it always have to be so hard for us!" "It's going to get harder Akane, but in a new way. Things are different now that we all know where we stand with one another," Ranko said as she patted Akane's hand. "By that, I gather you mean, me, you and Ranma, right?" "Oh, sure! I have to include this part of him," Ranko said, indicating herself with a shrug, "Even if Ranma got rid of his curse tonight, I'd still be around. We have memories now that run so deep that they've buried themselves into our bones, Akane." Akane felt relieved, "I'm glad." "Not that I think he'll be all that keen on getting rid of the curse after tonight," Ranko said with mischievous gleam in her eye. Akane looked at Ranko, then squealed as she realized what Ranko meant. "Oh! I didn't think about him remembering _that_ tomorrow!" Akane said as she put both palms to her cheeks. "I hope I haven't ruined him!" "Nah! No way!" Ranko said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "He wasn't planning on going after a cure until he was satisfied with your training anyway. Now I think maybe he might give up on the idea altogether." "That wasn't quite what I meant," Akane said in a low tone, "but I get your point." Ranko stared at Akane in confusion for a moment, then gave Akane an evil grin. Akane did what any girl would do under such circumstances, she giggled. This was followed by Ranko giggling. Then the two of them began laughing and squealing together. Call it, a fit of "female bonding," and as it goes with all such things, it did eventually end. "Ranko?" Akane asked, hating the timidity in her voice, "Is Ranma serious about my training?" "Sure!" Ranko said, sounding somewhat surprised, "He's been training you indirectly since we got here." "You mean he thinks all that dancing around he does the dojo while I try to hit him is training?" "It has been training, Akane!" Ranko said, sounding amused, "You have gotten a lot better because of it. You're faster. You're more precise and you don't telegraph your punches nearly as much as you did when we first met." Akane answered with an exasperated sigh. "Look me in the eye, Akane." Akane looked up at Ranko with an eye-piercing gaze. "Now take my hands," Ranko said as she held them out and wiggled her fingers. Akane took Ranko's hands in her own and gasped, amazed by the things she had never really paid any attention to in the past. Ranko's hands were not very feminine at all. Her palms were small, and almost square. Her fingers were nicely proportioned to her small palms, but shorter in relation to them than a woman's fingers usually were. There were other differences which made an even
greater impression upon Akane. Ranko's hands felt like bundles of living, steel cable wrapped in hard leather. The skin of the outer portions of her palms felt as tough as the sole of a leather shoe. So did the skin between Ranko's thumbs and forefingers. The back of Ranko's left hand had a hard, bony knot in the center. "You broke this left hand once, didn't you Ranko?" Ranko nodded her head. "Shattered it, actually. I stayed laid up in bed with it for a week." Ranko shuddered at the memory. "Look at the backs of 'em, Akane." Akane looked down at the backs of Ranko's hands. The knuckles of her forefingers and middle fingers where they joined her palm were huge and covered by heavy callous. She could tell that Ranko must sometimes have a difficult time moving those four joints. Thick calluses covered all the knuckles of both Ranko's hands, even her thumbs. There were also a great many scars. Too many scars. Some large, some small, most of them from cuts but more than a few of them were from burns--bad burns. The sight of them took Akane's breath away because she knew that Ranma's scars nearly always faded in a month or less. "Now you know why my handwriting is never going to win any prizes," Ranko said sadly, "I can do quite well with a brush. Large characters on a big piece of paper don't give me any trouble, but a ballpoint requires too many tiny movements. It has been part of the price, Akane." "For being as good as you are in The Art?" "No," Ranko said with a shake of her head, "for being impatient and trying to accomplish too much at one time," she said, then gave Akane's hands a hard squeeze. Akane looked up at Ranko in surprise, "That should have hurt!" "But it didn't, did it?" "You mean all this time he's been...he's been..." Akane paused to grit her teeth in anger, "He's been _encouraging_ me to use him for a punching bag so I could build up my hands!" "Yeah, and it worries him sick when you go outside and start breaking bricks. He thinks it's unladylike." "Unladylike?" Akane asked. She was suddenly angry. "What would he know about being ladylike?" "Hey!" Ranko said in haughty tones as she put her hands behind her head and struck a classic, pinup pose. The pajama top very nearly succumbed to the resulting pressure. "I sprang fully grown from the mind of Ranma Saotome. Ain't _I_ ladylike?" Akane's anger vanished as she was overcome by paroxysms of laughter. She looked at Ranko through the tears welling up in her eyes and shook her head. Ranko feigned a look of great hurt and wounded pride in answer. "You are _very_ sexy, Ranko, just not very...You aren't very..." "I ain't very ladylike, am I?" "No!" "Good," Ranko said, then began laughing along with Akane. "I could show you how to be much more sexy, Ranko- chan." "Ooh, that sounds like fun, Akane-chan," Ranko said with a grin, "but Ranma is getting nervous as it is." This of course constituted the need for a long, rather pregnant silence. "Next time then?" Akane asked hopefully. Ranko looked blank for a moment, as though some invisible person by her side was whispering in her ear. "I won't make any promises Akane, but maybe just for you--if you are a good little girl in the meantime." "Okay," Akane said, giving Ranko a little pout, knowing full well what it would do to Ranma, where ever he was, "be that way if you must." "Do you know when we fell in love with you?" "That day in the bath?" "Well no, not exactly. We did sort of fall in lust with you though." "Oh, well I did notice that!" Akane said, "It was a little too much to ignore." Ranko's face turned bright red. "Hey! Sometimes that happens to guy before he can stop it, you know!" Akane rolled her eyes. "So when did you fall in love with me?" "When you charged into the school yard and whipped all those guys that next morning." "What?" Ranko nodded her head and grinned, "Even Ranma would have had second thoughts about trying that until he saw you in action. We knew right then and there that we weren't being saddled with some cute little, know nothing, do nothing girl." I really should close my mouth, Akane thought. She's going to start laughing at me in a minute and I'll have it coming. Besides, it's not very ladylike. "You could be as good as I am, Akane," Ranko said, "but it won't be easy, even though you are already good. I just wanted you to know that there is a price to pay." "I'll pay it, Ranko." "You gotta learn to breathe right." "I already know how to breathe," Akane said sounding vaguely annoyed. "Not in the best way, you don't. You also hafta learn to swim," Ranko said with a
wicked smile. Akane felt her face begin to redden. "I suppose I have to learn to cook and be graceful too, huh?" Akane asked in angry tones, "Will bridal training count?" "You're gettin' it all wrong, Akane. You know that both the Tendo-ryuu and the Saotome-ryuu have techniques for fighting in the water. You can't get your second dan with out mastering them." Akane looked down at her hands again. Ranko was right. Those techniques were required and she had never learned them because she could never even manage to float on her back in the water. "The only time you have a problem with being graceful is when you start worrying about being clumsy. You'll train yourself out of that, and we could care less if you never learn to cook. Ranma already knows how to cook. That's one of the things that ten years of living on the road will do for you." Akane looked up at Ranko her eyes shining with tears of frustration. "But I want to cook for him, Ranko!" "Believe me, Akane. He would be a lot happier if you concentrated on mastering The Art first. The cooking can wait until this challenge is met. It is the more important of the two." "What will Aunt Nodoka think?" "You let me and Ranma worry about Mom, okay? You just concentrate on what we tell you. Everything else will work out." "How can you be so sure?" Akane asked. "That is one of the first things you must learn, Akane." "What's that?" "You must learn to be sure, even when there's no reason to be. Just like the way you forced Ranma to take tonight." "How can you be sure of something when there is no reason for it, Ranko?" "Simple," Ranko answered with a smile, "You just make sure you become the reason." "I don't know if I can do that, Ranko." "You can and you will, Akane," Ranko said in a gentle voice, "Ranma and I are going to help you with that." Akane turned inwards to her own thoughts for a moment. She could see that Ranko was at least partly correct. Most of her really bad failures had happened when she started something and then suffered a lack of confidence in her own abilities. Nearly all of her best successes had come when she had simply thrown caution to the wind and worked at something until she succeeded. "You and Ranma could stand to learn a thing or two as well," Akane said. "Tell me!" Ranko said, "HE doesn't find school work interesting or challenging. It makes it hard for me to concentrate on the stuff." "So you're the reason he's been catching up on his schoolwork without me nagging him." "Ah, yeah. You could say that." So he doesn't find his school work challenging, huh? Akane thought to herself. I'll just have to find a way to fix that. "What are you thinking, Akane?" Ranko asked with a note of concern in her voice. "I'm not going to tell you," Akane said with a sly grin. "Why not?" "Because you don't need to know, Ranko-chan." Akane's smile grew larger. Ranko stared hard into Akane's eyes, for a moment, then relaxed. "Okay, whatever you think best. Just be careful, okay?" "Don't worry," Akane said with a gentle smile, "I won't do anything too drastic." "Look, I'd like to visit some more, but I've got to go let Ranma out of this body." Akane seized Ranko by the hand as she got down from the bed. "Ranko?" "Yes, Akane?" "Make Ranma come say good night to me before he goes off to study, pretty please?" Ranko gave Akane a huge smile and a peck on the cheek. "You bet, tomboy." "Good night, pervert." "Ha! Look who's talkin'!" Akane smiled at Ranko's departing back. After a few moments she fluffed the pillows and laid down on Ranma's bed. She pulled the sheet up over herself and closed her eyes. A kind of warm glow that she had not felt since before her mother died coursed through her body. She stretched and opened her eyes, only to find Otoko-Ranma looking down at her. He had that look in his eyes again. The look that said, "Mine!" Akane smiled and held her arms out to him. He bent over and gave her a passionate kiss while she pressed his hard, flat chest to her body. Just the feel of his weight made her tingle in all the right places. After a long moment, Ranma stood up and looked down at her again. She took his left hand and placed it upon her tummy where OnnaRanma had placed that same hand earlier in the evening. Akane stared Ranma in the eye and knew that her own face was growing hard as she spoke. "You have to train me first," Akane said as coldly as she could. Ranma grinned. It was that ferocious, cocky, self- assured, macho-jerk grin he always got when accepting a challenge. His blue-eyes glittered, making Akane think of a line from the Odyssey, "the storm-grey sea." "I know, Akane," Ranma said, sounding faintly amused, "I
know." Then he bent down and kissed her again. After their lips parted he said, "And you will have to learn, my love. You are _gonna_ learn."
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Lemon Comes The Cold Dragon "Are you sure you're okay, Ranma?" They were standing in the hall of Tofu's clinic, just inside the back door. "I'm sure, Akane. Whatever that was, it's completely gone now." Onna-Ranma looked up into Akane's eyes, hoping to reassure her. Outside a soft, cold rain continued to fall. It would have been romantic if the two of them had not been soaked to the skin and shivering from the cold. "Let's get out of these wet clothes," Akane said softly. "Good idea," Ranma said as they broke eye contact. Akane started down the hall towards their room. "Akane?" She stopped and turned around. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." "You couldn't help it, Ranma," Akane said, "I'm not mad at you." Akane watched Onna-Ranma closely for a reaction as she tried without success to suppress a shiver. She was too frightened and too cold to fend it off. Onna-Ranma's eyes grew sad. He reached towards Akane as though he wanted to offer comfort, but stopped himself. Then just stood staring at her with woebegone eyes while he shivered. Why did he stop? Akane silently asked herself. Is it because he is afraid of how I might react? Or is he uncomfortable being intimate with me while the curse is on him? Maybe it's both. I've yelled at him enough times about touching me whenever he's in his girl form. Her train of thought took a completely different track when she noticed the wrinkle lines on Onna-Ranma's forehead. There were lines around his eyes and mouth as well. He's more afraid than I am, she realized. He just won't admit to it. He _can't_ admit to it. He would lose control. His legs are shaking and...Akane's thoughts were again interrupted when the light in the brightly lit hallway suddenly dimmed. She looked up. The hallway was lit with fluorescent lighting and the one meter long tubes were glowing as brightly and as peacefully as ever, but their light was not making its way into the area around her and Onna-Ranma. She looked back at Onna-Ranma. He looked as though he were standing in a deep shadow that was quickly growing darker. Akane could now feel the air temperature falling. He's losing control again! She thought. Even as Akane watched, the air around her fiance absorbed more and more light until only the faintest traces of him could be seen. A fine, barely discernible fog was beginning to fill the air around them. "No!" Akane shouted, "Ranma, you stop that this instant!" "Akane..." "Ranma!" Akane screamed, then plunged into the shadows that had engulfed him. Once inside the dark globe that had formed around Onna-Ranma, she could see him. The light was very dim, but there was still light. The air within the sphere was quite cold and getting colder. "Akane get back!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, trying to force her voice to stay calm and almost succeeding, "You get back into control. I'm keeping my place." "Your place is somewhere safe!" Onna-Ranma screamed, "Out of danger, and that's wherever I tell you to be!" "No, Ranma," Akane said, quite calmly but with real iron in her voice, "My place is with you. In danger, out of danger, in heaven or in hell,
wherever you are, there am I. Now and forever, Ranma!" "Dammit, Akane!" Onna-Ranma choked on her shriek as her shivering became almost spasmodic. "I ain't got no control over this!" "I love you, Ranma Saotome," Akane said, hearing with amazement as her own voice suddenly become as firm and as gentle as Kasumi's, "I believe in you." The air was now cold enough that their breath could be seen, despite the low level of light. Onna-Ranma dropped heavily to the floor and sat staring up at Akane with pleading eyes. "Akane, please! Please, get back!" Akane dropped to the floor alongside her beleaguered love and caressed his cheek with her right hand. Onna-Ranma's skin was cold and clammy, but still much warmer than the surrounding air. Bright, bluish tendrils of light began to flicker in and out of existence in the cold darkness around them. "I'm not going anywhere, Ranma," Akane said in a calm whisper, "You are my protector. I'm only safe when I am with you." Onna-Ranma choked off a sob, then took a deep breath and held it. After a few seconds, the light suddenly became so bright that both of them were forced to blink. Onna-Ranma let out her long-held breath with a great sigh. "Stubborn, baka!" Onna-Ranma shouted between gasps for air. Akane just smirked at him as she stood up and offered him her hands. Onna-Ranma accepted the offer and Akane helped him to his feet. "I knew you could do it!" Akane said with such a cheerful note in her voice that Kasumi would have stuck a gold star on her forehead had she heard it. Onna-Ranma was not so impressed. "You coulda got killed!" "No way, Ranma," Akane said with an evil grin, "All you needed to do was take control of yourself, and there is no way you would ever let anything you were doing hurt me." They stood holding hands for a long time, just staring into one another's eyes. It was Akane that broke the prolonged silence. "Ranma, this is almost as though you have grown new legs," she said, "You just have to learn how to use them, that's all." Neither Akane nor Ranma had any way of knowing how close to the truth her analogy was. Onna-Ranma broke the spell by taking stock of their surroundings. "Uh, Akane?" "Yes, Ranma?" "Your hands are freezing. Why don't you go get a hot shower and warm up? While you're doin' that, I'll mop up all this water." About half the hallway was covered in condensation and water that had dripped from their soaking wet clothing. Akane giggled. This was the one of the things that truly puzzled her about Ranma. He was compulsively neat. He was not quite as bad as Kasumi, but he truly hated having anything out of place. She remembered all the times he cleaned up the messes left behind by Hinako-sensei and bit her lower lip. Then she giggled again. A distant flash of lightning brightened the room. There was a brief pause, then thunder rumbled around them. "Okay, Ranma." "I'll see if I can find a hanger for your dress." "Thanks." Akane made her way to the tiny bathroom only to find that her zipper was stuck, not at all unusual for one of her cotton sundresses. There was no way she could pull the dress off over her head while it was wet. She struggled with the zipper with shaky hands for a few minutes until frustration got the best of her. "Ooh! Will you please just break loose!" Akane shouted. The echoes of her voice in the tiny bath hurt her ears. There was knock at the door. "Akane? Are you okay?" "I'm fine!" Akane said, unable to keep the exasperation out of voice, "It's just that my zipper is stuck." "You want me to help?" Onna-Ranma's voice sounded positively fearful. Akane smiled. "Would you, please?" Onna-Ranma came into the bath looking as though he feared for his life. Akane suppressed a giggle. She really couldn't blame him for that, could she? He had already changed into a dry tank top and a pair of boxers. Akane turned around so that he could reach the zipper. He had more than a little trouble with it. He had to zip it all the way up before he could pull it back down and it tried to catch a couple of times. Akane shrugged off her dress before he could leave the room. "Did you bring the hanger?" "Ah--no," Onna-Ranma said, looking somewhat alarmed, "I'll go get it right now." "I guess it's time to let him know how I really feel about his curse," Akane whispered to herself as he left the room. "Maybe then he'll be a little more at peace with himself. Kami knows, he's got enough to deal with already. The least I can do is make sure he understands how little his curse bothers me anymore." She wrung the dress out over the tub until Ranma returned. "This is the only empty hanger we've got left, Akane," Ranma said as he walked back into the room. She
handed him her dress. He made a show of putting it on the hanger without looking at her. Akane giggled inside. He wants to stare, but he's afraid I'll get mad. She turned her back to him and began struggling with her bra-strap. "Could you undo this for me, Ranma?" "Uh...er..uh...are you sure?" Onna-Ranma stammered as he hung the dress on the hook Tofu had installed on the bathroom door. "Please? It's wet and I can't get a good grip on it." "Okay," Onna-Ranma said in a tiny, squeaking voice. Akane could feel his shaking hands as they fumbled with her brassiere. It took him a minute or more to figure out how the clasp worked. "Give me your hands, Ranma," Akane said as she felt her brassier go slack. She held her arms back while quickly opening and closing her hands. Akane could not see Onna- Ranma's face, but could easily imagine how it must look. She smiled to herself. When Onna-Ranma fearfully touched her fingers, Akane seized his wrists, then pulled him towards her until she could feel his body pressed against her back. "You're so warm," Akane said in a soft voice. "Eep." Akane smiled, then slid Onna-Ranma's tiny hands beneath her bra and pressed their palms against her breasts. Oh, kami-sama it felt good! Onna-Ranma began shaking and pressed one cheek against her back. Akane felt Onna-Ranma's tears before she heard his suppressed sob. "I love you, Akane!" OnnaRanma said, as he pressed their bodies together in a fierce hug. Akane moaned, luxuriating in his firm embrace and the pressure of his hands against her nipples. She wanted more. She wanted a lot more, but it was too soon. We aren't ready for that, yet. She thought. "Akane?" "I know, Ranma," Akane said as she pulled his hands away from her breasts and pushed them down to her waist. She released his hands and turned around. Ranma stepped back a little in cooperation. Akane looked into Onna-Ranma's sea- blue eyes and smiled. "I love you, Ranma." Onna-Ranma was looking very confused and very fragile. Akane realized that she would have to be very careful at this point. The least little thing would shatter him. For all his courage and all his power, Ranma was easily crushed. Akane wished she had realized it sooner. "You are _my_ man," Akane said as she gently laid her palms on either side of Ranma's lovely face. "My only man." Onna-Ranma looked as though he had very serious doubts and more than a few questions that he was afraid to ask. Akane smiled, knowing that words never came easily to him. She bent down and kissed him gently on the lips. The fire that raged in both their bodies shocked her. The kiss plunged them into the depths of a passion long felt, but never appeased. Thunder rolled several times, driving the flames higher. Finally, the need for air forced them to break. Akane pressed Onna-Ranma's head to her chest and stroked his hair. "I could never do anything like this with a girl, you know." Onna-Ranma wept. Akane held him tight and kissed the top of his head. "I really do love you, Ranma," Akane whispered to him as the sound of gentle rain filled the quiet of the clinic. "You are the only man I know worthy of me." "Akane," he paused to sob, "I can't." Onna-Ranma's voice failed him again, "I don't..." "Shh, Ranma," Akane said, "Just let me hold you. I'll always be here to help." "Do you really mean it?" "I love you, Ranma." "Even when I'm cursed?" "You're still my Ranma, even when you're cursed," Akane said in a soft, reassuring voice, "Maybe especially when you're cursed. I think it's made you more of a man than you could have been otherwise." Onna-Ranma's tears came hot and fast. "I don't feel very manly right now, Akane." "If ever there was a single human being anywhere on this earth that deserves a good cry right now, it's you, Ranma Saotome." Onna-Ranma shuddered, unable to stop the tears. Akane knew to the very depths of her soul that she was the only woman on earth that he could trust this much. Not even his mother could stand by him in this crisis. Outside, there was a bright flash, followed by a loud crash of thunder and the lights went out in the clinic. Akane scooped Onna-Ranma up into her arms and walked out into the hall. He clung to her neck with both arms while laying his head against her shoulder. Akane felt the heat of his tears as they trickled across her skin. It made her shudder. She set Onna-Ranma down gently on his bed. Onna- Ranma rolled onto his side and took Akane's right hand in both of his own. "Go get your shower, Akane. I'm better now." "Are you sure?" Onna-Ranma nodded, then pressed Akane's hand to his lips. "I won't be long, Ranma." "Akane?" "Yes?" "Will you come say good night before you go
to bed?" Onna-Ranma asked in a quavering voice. Akane kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, Ranma. I won't leave you alone. I'll be right back, okay?" "Okay," he said in a thin, faint voice as he gently squeezed her hand. The sound of his voice stabbed at Akane's heart. This was the young giant that had destroyed two different mountains. The man who could get into a fight with the son of a dragon, or even a kami and still live to tell about it. Now he was reduced to begging her to come say good night. For the very first time in her life, Akane Tendo actually felt needed. There could be no doubts or second thoughts on the matter. Ranma needed to be loved and comforted by her, not by Ukyo, not by Xian Pu, not even by his mother, Nodoka. Ranma needed her, Akane Tendo. With the realization that Ranma's needed her and not someone else, came the knowledge that she, Akane Tendo, really was a woman and that all the things that had been said about her that caused her self-doubts were false. For the first time in her life she felt womanly. She was in fact, feeling very, very womanly. "Be strong for me, Ranma," Akane whispered fiercely, "You are my man among men." "I will, Akane," Onna-Ranma sighed, "I expected ya to dump me a long time ago." "Hmph! You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" Akane teased. "What the hell is a flaming kami and few bombs to a kawaii-kune tomboy like me, hmm? None of those other girls could hold up to all we've been through, now could they?" Onna-Ranma managed something like a sickly smile, so Akane returned to the shower. She did not stay long. She was there just long enough to freshen up and make a decision or two. Maybe she should teach Ranma a thing or two before their new life began. After all, nothing would be the same after they left this clinic. Whether or not anyone else ever noticed, nothing would be the same again. Akane knew that things would, if anything, be even more difficult in the near future. Their lives were not going to become simple anytime soon. They had too many known problems to deal with already and only the kami could know how much trouble remained to be discovered in the near future. What they needed now, as in immediately, was a way to form an unbreakable bond. Akane was determined to make that happen tonight. Too many opportunities had been lost to them in the past and an opportunity like this one was unlikely to present itself again for long time to come. For the moment, they were secure from prying eyes and listening ears. There were no worries about hidden cameras or obsessed parents hoping for an excuse to break out wedding invitations. And for once, for the first time in almost a year, Akane would not have to worry about some bitch of a martial artist interrupting them. Tonight's the night! Akane thought. May all the kami forgive me, for I am not going to give Ranma any choice. Tonight, I make him mine forever. Akane struck a Kuno-esque pose and whispered, "Tonight I will cleave unto thee, Ranma Saotome! And thou shalt cleave unto me. The rest of the world be damned for all I care." The lights came back on and Akane giggled at the way she had been acting. She donned her bathrobe, then walked back into their room. Onna-Ranma was curled up on his left side, staring blankly at the wall. Akane turned off the light in the room so that the only light left was that which came in through the window from the street light outside. The rain had lessened a little, but still sighed softly against the window panes. Akane untied her robe as she reached the side of Ranma's bed, then let it fall to the floor. She hesitated at the bedside, savoring the sensation of being naked in Ranma's presence. Onna-Ranma seemed to stiffen. I wonder if he can tell already? Akane thought as she slid into the bed alongside his deliciously muscled, female form. He senses things other people can't. She scooted over until her breasts were pressed firmly against Onna-Ranma's muscular back, then kissed the nape of his neck, right where it joined his shoulder. Onna-Ranma breathed in sharply and held it in. Akane smiled to herself and kissed the side of his neck, just below his right ear as she ran the palm of her right hand over the firm muscles of Onna-Ranma's stomach. "Hmmm," Onna-Ranma groaned. "Akane, what are you doing?" "Teaching you how to seduce me when the time comes," Akane said as she cupped his left breast with her right hand. Much to her delight, Onna-Ranma's nipple stiffened against the small patch of sensitive skin she had left in the center of her palm. She could feel her own nipples stiffening against the soft
fabric of his tank top. Unnoticed by either of them, a soft red glow began to fill the room. "What would you know about being seduced, Akane?" Onna-Ranma asked, sounding as though he were about to became very alarmed. "Oh, not much, really. It's just that I've been dreaming that you would sneak into my room and make a real woman of me since you got into that fight with the Musk," Akane said as she slid her hand upwards and began caressing his right breast. Onna-Ranma's breasts were weighty and delightfully plump. "Geez, Akane," Onna-Ranma said with a gasp, "That was last winter." "I know," Akane said with a smile in her voice. She kissed the join of his neck and shoulder again. The glow began to brighten. Onna-Ranma squirmed around until he was laying on his back and looking up into her eyes. "I never realized..." Akane cut him off with a kiss as she slid her right hand beneath his shirt and began tweaking the nipple of his left breast with her thumb and forefinger. Onna-Ranma broke their kiss and gasped for air. "Do you have any idea what that does to this body?" He asked. Akane giggled as she nodded her head. The red glow began to scintillate with gold threads of coruscating gold. "Let's just say I have my suspicions, Ranma." Onna-Ranma looked Akane over, then his eyes grew wide with shock. "You haven't...you aren't wearing any..." Akane cut him off with another kiss. The fires of passion roared up to white hot. She could feel the heat boiling up from his body and knew that her own must be warm enough to be glowing. She cupped Onna-Ranma's right breast in her hand, delighting in it's weight and feel. Knowing how much her actions must be arousing Ranma thrilled her in a way she had never felt before. She had never been this excited by anything she had ever done. "Take off your shirt," Akane demanded when they finally broke for air. Onna-Ranma happily complied. Akane began applying teeth and tongue to the nipple of his right breast as quickly as it was exposed to the air. Onna-Ranma groaned as he dropped his shirt on the floor. Akane worked the nipple of his left breast over with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand. "I--,"Onna-Ranma said, "I...I...Aiyah!" "Are you all right, Ranma?" Akane asked. "I'm fine," OnnaRanma said, trying hard not to pant. He laid his hands along either side of Akane's face and tried to pull her to him for a kiss. She resisted his pull and instead began to suck on the nipple of his left breast. "Oh, my!" Onna-Ranma gasped. "Oh, Akane-e-e-e!" Akane stopped what she was doing and looked up at him with an evil grin. The coruscating gold and red brightened, unnoticed by either of them. "Do you want me to stop, Ranma?" "Come here, you!" Onna-Ranma said, as pulled her face down to his, greedily seeking her lips. Akane complied happily, pressing the full length of her naked body upon his. Onna-Ranma's right knee came up between Akane's legs, causing his thigh to come into contact with her fully distended vulva. She reached down with her right hand and began to caress the inner part of his left thigh near the knee, while rubbing her excited sex against the hard muscles of Onna- Ranma's right thigh. This forced Onna-Ranma up for air. "A-ah!" He cried aloud. Akane began sucking on the nipple of his right breast while letting her hand wander farther and farther up his inner thigh. "Akane," Onna-Ranma whimpered, "You are driving me crazy!" Akane stopped and propped herself up on her left elbow so that she could look down into his eyes. She began tracing little circles on OnnaRanma's hard, flat tummy with the middle and ring fingers of her right hand. Her other fingers were heavily callused from all the martial arts training she had done over the years. "I love you, Saotome." "I can't imagine why, but I'm glad you do," Onna-Ranma whispered. Looking into his eyes was like diving into a deep pool, of cool clear water. Akane could have stayed lost in them for an eternity, but remembered she had work to do. She had years worth of pleasure she wanted to mete out in mere hours. She began kissing his neck at the shoulder again while forcing her fingers beneath the waistband of his boxers. His mons was prominent and covered with stiff curls. Akane delighted in meaty the feel of it and its wiry hair. Her own was much less pronounced, and covered with very straight hair. OnnaRanma clapped her legs together and gasped. "Akane, what are you doing?" "I'm going to turn you into my love slave, Saotome," Akane said with a playful growl in her throat as she pressed his vulva together with her ring and middle finger.
Onna- Ranma began to whimper as Akane applied pressure to the little spot just below the peak of his mons. "Feels good, doesn't it, baby?" Akane asked in an evil sounding whisper. "Oh, yes!" "Right there?" Akane asked as she applied pressure in a gentle, circular motion. "Yes!" Onna-Ranma squeaked. Onna-Ranma was suddenly very, very damp. Akane gently slid the slender ring finger of her right hand up and down his rapidly moistening slot. "Akane, stop!" Onna-Ranma said. Akane paid him no heed. "Don't!" Onnna-Ranma gasped. Akane pressed gently until she could feel the moist, inner labia of his now, very excited sex. "Oh, baby!" Onna-Ranma cried. Onna-Ranma reached behind Akane's head and pressed her lips to the nipple of his left breast. Akane was more than happy to oblige him with a gentle nip and a long hard suck, then she lashed the swollen aureole with her tongue. Onna- Ranma gasped and bucked with his hips. Akane's ring finger slid deep inside him well before she intended it to. This wasn't a problem. Onna-Ranma was more than ready, but Akane knew it was too soon for that. She gently withdrew the her finger, gleefully ignoring the desperate motions of his hips as he tried to recover her retreating finger, then slid it upwards until she found his bulging clitoris. She was delighted by the size of it, but rather than rub it directly, she played with the fleshy little hood above it, gently teasing it with the soft pad of her ring finger. Onna-Ranma began to make whimpering noises that were really a wordless form of begging. Akane persisted with this line of sweet, gentle torture until the large tendons at the join of Onna-Ranma's thighs began to quiver, then she finally began to barely stroke his clitoris. Onna-Ranma dug into the mattress with both heels and arched his back. Akane smothered his shriek of pleasure with a deep kiss and applied a little more pressure. Onna-Ranma clapped his legs together and dropped back down onto the mattress. Akane then used both her ring and middle fingers to probe the aching void between his legs, letting them straddle OnnaRanma's rapidly retreating clitoris as they slid in and out of the moist, aching little cavern between his powerful legs. The glow of their intertwined aura went from red and gold to pure gold as the flashing, threads melded themselves together in a single, glowing mass of light. "Oh-ho, me!" Onna-Ranma cried out, as he lost control and spread his legs again. "Akane!" Akane slowed her pace and began gliding in and out of him smoothly and ever so gently. This was not what OnnaRanma wanted. "You're torturing me!" Akane kissed him hard, probing deep into his mouth with her tongue, then she pulled back and gave him an evil grin, still gliding her fingers in and out of his tender flesh. He was becoming very wet now. "But it's so much fun, Ranma." "Oo-oo-oo-ooh." Akane shifted her weight slightly so she could reach the nipple of his right breast. The color of his aureoles had gone from a light cream color to bright, fleshy pink and looked for all the world like perfectly conical little tents. Akane caressed it lightly with her tongue. Her touch made Onna-Ranma jerk and whimper. Akane stroked a little faster. "Yes!" Onna-Ranma cried as he began to buck with his hips. Akane's fingers slid deep into his moist flesh. She added her forefinger to the two that were already exploring his body and began using her thumb to slide beneath his hood and rub his swollen clit. "Aha, yes!" Onna-Ranma cried as he bucked even faster. Akane let him do with work with his hips while concentrating on keeping her fingers and thumb in the right places. Suddenly her hand was covered with a warm, slippery fluid as OnnaRanma's muscles clamped down as hard on her fingers. Akane wiggled her thumb as fast as she could, being careful not to use too much pressure. Onna-Ranma went wild with the sweet agony of a second orgasm. Akane hungrily kissed him on the mouth. Onna-Ranma pressed her thighs together, capturing Akane's hand. "Akane stop!" Onna-Ranma gasped, "I'm gonna die!" Akane giggled and wiggled her thumb again. "Oo-oo-oo-hoo! You bitch!" Akane nibbled at his right nipple, as even more fluid coated her right hand. "Oh, _please_ stop!" Onna-Ranma begged, "Please? I can't...I can't take it anymore!" His bucking had ceased and was now nothing more than sharp little jerks and spasms. Akane delighted watching his stomach muscles ripple with each movement. Onna-Ranma was panting, but not from exhaustion. Akane kissed him again. They took their time. The kiss was soft, and gentle and lasted for what seemed an eternity. Akane shifted the her weight off her elbow once they
finally broke for air, then settled her head in the hollow of Onna-Ranma's powerful shoulder. She kissed his cheek, reveling in the feel of her stiff nipples pressed up against his heaving ribs. She waited quietly, wondering what would he would do to her once he recovered. Whatever he decided, she was more than ready. Hopefully, he would go for hot water. The still unnoticed glow of their blended aura dimmed as it changed to deep orange color of banked coals. ----------- "Would you like me to scrub your back, Kasumi-chan?" Nodoka asked. "Oh, would you Auntie?" Kasumi sounded delighted, "I haven't had anyone here to do that for me since Mother died." "Of course, dear!" Nodoka said, "I sometimes think that the definition of true loneliness is having no one to help you wash your back." Kasumi chuckled. "You never bathe with your sisters?" Nodoka asked. "No, not for several years now," Kasumi said with a fond smile, "They decided they were too grown up to bathe with me several years ago." Nodoka smiled at this as she began work on Kasumi's back. "The four of us should visit the sentou soon," Nodoka said, remembering that some of the best gab-fests that she had ever had with her friends happened while they were at the public baths. Of course, when she was still a young girl, the sentou was not an option. Very few homes had their own furo in those days and the public bath was a necessary institution. Nowadays, the sentou was becoming a form of family entertainment to be indulged in only on weekends. "That would be fun," Kasumi said, then with a teasing note in her voice added, "We could invite Ranma along and make it five." Nodoka chuckled, then answered, "That would be letting a fox in amongst the chickens." "Ranma is actually a very chivalrous young man," Kasumi said. "Yes, and very much a man, even when his curse is upon him," Nodoka said with more than a little pride in her voice, "The women of Nerima should be thankful for his chivalry." "It may interest you to know that he is a constant thorn in Master Happosai's side," Kasumi said with a giggle, "Ranma seems to enjoy interrupting his depredations." "With spectacular results, I'm sure." "And very often amusing as well." "I hope your sister snares him soon," Nodoka said with a sigh. "I look forward to being a grandmother, but I don't want to be an _old_ grandmother." "Oh, I'm pretty sure she has already snared him, Aunt Nodoka," Kasumi said with a shiver as Nodoka poured fresh, cold water on her soapy back, "I think now she isn't all that sure she wants to saddle him." "Then she shouldn't bother with a saddle and simply ride him bareback," Nodoka said with a smile in her voice as she turned her back to Kasumi. Kasumi silently soaped a rag as she thought those implications through. She blushed once she finally sorted out Nodoka's meaning. "I don't think Ranma will accept the responsibility of a wife and child until he is certain he can take care of them, Aunt Nodoka." "Why would he worry about that?" "I hate to say this," Kasumi said in a tiny voice as she began work on Nodoka's back, "but I think he wants to avoid being anything at all like his father outside The Art." Kasumi became more than a little alarmed as she felt the muscles in Nodoka's back go rigid. Nodoka took a deep breath and held it for several moments, then let it out in a long, sad sigh. "Well, I can hardly fault him for that, can I?" "Uncle Genma _is_ a great Artist, Auntie." "So my son wants to be greater than his father, does he?" "In more ways than one, Aunt Nodoka." "Then we will help him do exactly that," Nodoka said with a note of finality, "A little more to the right if you would please, dear." Kasumi smiled and the room brightened. Kasumi herself was not aware of this, but Nodoka was. "I am glad you agree, Auntie." ----------- Onna-Ranma lay next to Akane in the softly lit room, moaning a little every once in a while as energy slowly returned to his limp, tingling body. Akane's soft, sweet breath against his neck made him tingle in all the right places. The girlish part of his mind noted that the light in the room was a lovely shade of burnt orange. He delighted in the feel of the fresh clean sheets beneath his girl-type body and the warm scent of Akane cuddled up to his side. Akane's nipples were still very stiff, he could feel them as the brushed against skin every time he took a breath. (Yo, Saotome! You still with me, old buddy?) (BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (I cannot believe you, Saotome! Three little orgasms! That's all! Just three, and you turn into a blithering idiot.) (BLEE-BOO-BOO-B00-BOO, BLEEBEE-BOO-BOO-BOO-BLEEBEE- BOO...)
(Yo, Saotome! Your turn at bat, you most manly man among men, you!) (BLEE-BOO-BOOB00-BOO, BLEEEE-BLEE-BOO-BOO-BO0...) (Come on, Saotome! Snap out of it! Time's a wastin'!) (BlurBurr-buh-buh-buh Blur-Burr-buh-buh-buh...) (If you don't snap out of this, I'm gonna hafta do your girlfriend without ya. You sure you wanna miss it?) (Blur-bur-bur-bur-bur...) (Well, let's see--A hot shower would probably snap him out of it.) (LOT'S OF SOAP! BahBlue-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (What? And ruin the ambiance we got goin' here? Are you nuts, Saotome?) (Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloobloo...Blagh-bloo-bloo-bloo...) (Yeah, okay. You ain't exactly hittin' on all eight cylinders at the moment.) (Gir-r-r-ls...geddit...habbit bedder...baburlbebur- bur-bur...) (Come again, Saotome? You almost made sense that time.) (Giruls plessur bedder...gurble blonga!) (Yeah, okay. I guess you're right about that, but we need to do something, and do it fast! Akane's lying right here next to us with her motor running.) (GO WHOPPA WOONGA?) (Yeah, uh-huh! We haven't seen Maw Thumb and her four daughters for two weeks. If I get you into a hot shower now, we won't last thirty seconds.) (Getsu nippon gloria, na?) (Yeah, whatever. Be quiet and let me concentrate on this, okay? It's going be tricky and we need to get it right. Akane gambled really big on us tonight. If we don't back her play now, she'll never forgive us.) (...) (Good boy!) ----------- "I don't know if this will actually work," Kasumi said, as she poured a cup of the special tea for Nodoka with exaggerated care, "but the book I borrowed from Doctor Tofu says a cup of this and two aspirin will all but prevent a hangover." Kasumi felt much better after the bath, but her head was still not as clear as she would have liked. "Really?" Nodoka said as she took a sip. It had an odd flavor to it, with more than a hint of sassafras and just a touch of salt. "Haven't you tried it before?" "Well, I've never needed it before tonight," Kasumi said with a rueful smile, "and I could never get Father and Uncle Saotome to try it." Nodoka smiled. "You know, it's very odd, but I think they actually enjoy having a hangover together." Nodoka laughed heartily. It was almost as frightening Ko Lon's cackle. Kasumi smiled into her cup. "I wonder what makes men like that?" "I think it is called, Male Bonding," Nodoka said, then laughed again. "For some reason, suffering together strengthens their friendships." "Aunt Nodoka?" "Yes, Kasumi-chan?" "Tell me about your katana." Nodoka's face sobered as she began to unwrap the old weapon. "Well, it was forged in 1351 by Saotome Nagateru, who was both a smith of the Bizen school and a samurai, being a retainer of the Ogasawa of Kyushu." "Weren't the swords of the Kamakura period normally much longer than this one?" "Yes, and so was this one. It was shortened and sharpened during the Edo Period for Saotome Hanimoto. It hasn't been touched with a stone since that time. I have always been quite careful about cleaning it and powdering it. The last time it was ever used in anger, Saotome Nabuyuki used it to kill two bandits who tried to rob him in December of 1918." "Oh, my!" Kasumi said, putting her hand to her mouth. Nodoka smiled at Kasumi's reaction. "Come now, Kasumi- chan. Surely you've helped your father clean and store the family weapons, ne?" "Yes, but I never..." "I assure you, this sword saw a great deal of use well prior to 1918, as I am sure many of your family's weapons did," Nodoka said as she unwrapped her ever-present katana. She removed the weapon from its scabbard and laid it upon the table. "It's so plain and--and deadly looking, isn't it?" Kasumi whispered. "Yes, it is. Saotome Nagateru made swords for lower ranking samurai like himself and was never particularly famous as a smith," Nodoka said with a chuckle, "Even so, many families around Nara and further south own blades very like this one, so they must have been quite popular as working blades." Nadoka pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve, the took the sword by its hilt and turned the cutting edge up. "Here, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka said, "Drop this on the blade." Kasumi did so and the handkerchief cut itself in two with its own weight as it fell across the incredibly keen edge. Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise. She had seen this done with other swords, but they had been museum pieces and were much prettier than this one. "The sword belongs to you, right?" "Yes," Nodoka said with a nod of the head, "My father left it to me in his will." "Then Uncle Genma is..." "Muyokoshi, yes." "Your father adopted him?" "Yes, just before father died, Genma and I were
married," Nodoka said with a sigh, "Life was so different back then. Genma and I were very different then." Nodoka looked down at the sword gleaming on the table with a sad face. "Now Ranma and I are the last of the Saotome line." "Aunt Nodoka, why are father and Uncle Saotome so eager to see our clans joined?" "That's a very long story, Kasumi-chan." "I'll make some more tea, then," Kasumi said with a smile, "We seem to have the time." "Why not, dear?" Nodoka asked as she sheathed the katana. "I haven't had a white night in years." ----------- Onna-Ranma turned his head to his right and gave Akane a peck on the forehead. "Yo, Tomboy!" "Who are you calling a tomboy, pervert?" "Roll over onto your other side, Akane." "Hmm, why?" "Just roll over, silly." "Oh, all right," Akane said, feigning irritation. Onna-Ranma cuddled up to Akane's back and purred. Not the fake sort of purr humans ordinarily make as a joke, he actually purred like a cat. Akane smiled at the feel of Onna- Ranma's plump breasts crushed against her back and the vibration of his purring. "How do you do that?" "I don't know," Onna-Ranma said, "It just happens sometimes." "It feels nice." "I'm glad you like it," Onna-Ranma said, just before kissing Akane's neck at the join of her shoulder. "Oh!" Onna-Ranma grinned, then kissed her neck in a sequence of places between Akane's left shoulder and ear. "Oh, Ranma!" "Did I get it right?" He asked as he reached across and cupped Akane's right breast with his left hand. "Mmm, hmm...oooh!" Onna-Ranma shifted her weight so that he could slip his arm beneath Akane's neck and reach up to her left breast, teasing the erect nipple he found there between the ring and middle fingers of his right hand. Akane began to pant. Onna- Ranma began working his way down her neck with kisses. Akane treated him to a squirmy little wiggle, and rubbed her heart- shaped little behind against Onna-Ranma's thighs. Onna-Ranma shivered in response. "Ranma?" "Hmm?" Onna-Ranma noised between kisses. "I was really hoping you would go get some hot water." Onna-Ranma kissed Akane on the neck one more time, then extricated his arms so he could roll Akane onto her back. He sat up in the bed and looked down into her eyes, then placed the palm of his left hand on her tummy, just below her navel. For reasons Akane could not understand, this excited her more than anything else they had done that evening. She could feel a warm flow of energy passing from his hand into her body. "He loves you very much," Onna-Ranma said, "but I want us to save that for our wedding night. Our wedding night has to be special." Akane froze, as the cold claws of genuine terror gripped her heart. "What do you mean HE wants?" Akane asked, "Who are you? The girl that drowned in the spring?" Akane's experience told her that she had good reason for alarm. Her own soul had been transferred into a doll while an ancient spirit sought vengeance against Ranma in her body. For all she knew right now, some supernatural power could be in command of Onna- Ranma's body. "No, it's not like that!" Onna-Ranma paused, groping for words. "I'm sorry, Akane! This is me, Ranma--or part of him at least." "Are you his female self?" Akane asked softly. "Sort of," Onna-Ranma said, "We're more like opposite sides of the same coin. We are both the same person, but slightly different." "I think I understand," Akane said with smile as the fear in heart melted away, "So where's your male side right now?" "Oh, he sort of a...well...he...uh..." "Lost it?" "Yeah." Onna-Ranma gave