College Admission Essay

Ryan Thomas 11/1/07 Admissions Essay Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. Phoenix Rising I was obsessed. Day after day I spent hours alone, breathing life into my creation. As the months went on, I slowly saw it take shape. At last, one day I felt I was finished perfecting it. “The Doorman”, as I called it, was without doubt the best poem I had ever written. I was ready to allow others to read it, so I could see if I had crafted something worthwhile. Starting with my friends, I showed “The Doorman” to many people I knew, eventually giving a copy to my Literature teacher. Amazingly, few of them disliked it, and I was constantly being complimented on the work, to my delight. But as the days went on, I started to feel that something was wrong. I was being praised by my friends, classmates, and teacher, and I still felt oddly awkward when I discussed the poem with them. Never before had this happened to me – it felt like I was baring a piece of my soul to whoever saw the poem. Then, on those occasions where I was criticized, I felt like it was me, not the poem, under scrutiny. I couldn’t stand that feeling of nakedness, but then again, the joy of being admired was incredible! But what to do with the poem? I couldn’t just keep on thrusting it in all of my friend’s faces for their mandatory, more considerate than reverential, praise; I wanted to know, once and for all, how good or bad my work was. I decided to submit it to The Phoenix, the school’s literary magazine. This would mean showing my poem to the whole school, if it was published. I hadn’t considered anything so bold – even sharing the poem with friends had been unsettling. Yet the more I considered it, the more I yearned to see my poem in print, to be congratulated on my work. Finally, I decided to send in “The Doorman”. The next day, the fear started. What would happen? If the poem was really published, everyone could see it – not just my friends, or my teachers, who at least respected me, but every student in the school! That meant that the kids who had picked on me for years would have a fresh target! This time, it wasn’t just my confidence I was risking – if I had to endure snide remarks about “The Doorman”, I was sure I’d never want to write anything else. This was my first chance to see if I was any good at poetry, or if I’d just embarrass myself by trying, and by the time the magazine was published, I couldn’t bear to find out. When I saw that the poem had made the cut, and was on the first page, I couldn’t help but worry even more. At least in the middle of the book, less interested readers like the ones I feared would probably miss the poem! But I had to face the music, so to speak. I had decided, out of pride, to risk humiliation; anything that happened because of that was my burden to bear. As the week wore on, the magazine circulated around the school. Then one day, as I was walking down the hall, I froze. Walking towards me, with The Phoenix in his hands, was Jack, one of the jocks who tormented me in past years. Suddenly he looked up from the magazine, and saw me standing still in front of

him. But instead of sneering or laughing, as I thought he would, he merely looked me in the eyes, half-smiled, and said, “Hey Thomas, not bad.”