Chapter Ten

The Heart Remembers

Chapter Ten ©2009

The following day I met Elise at the front of the Preston estate. We had arranged to meet Nat and Harvey in town where we would all decide what to do that day. Elise seemed lost in thought and I felt uneasy. Finally she broke her silence. “I wanted to talk to you about Kathleen, Daniel.” “Okay,” I said, unsure of how to respond. We walked together as Elise began speaking in a low tone. “My sister suffered a head injury when she was seven years old. I was very young at the time, but I remember her as being very happy before the injury. She always included me in things, was always so patient with me, and I loved her dearly as I still do. After her injury, something changed in Kathleen. She no longer confided in me. She grew distant. She constantly argued with father, especially as she got older. Her behavior grew rash and unpredictable. I know you’ve probably heard stories in town, and what I wanted to tell you Daniel…and it’s hard to say this, but some of those stories might be true.” Elise paused at that moment and took me by the hand, staring intently into my eyes. “There was trouble with boys, and even an episode with one of father’s friends.” I nodded silently. “I thought you should know the truth…because…well…Kathleen does what she wants. She has no rules and she lives her life by what she feels…and…and…” Elise laughed nervously. “When Kathleen made the joke yesterday about trying to steal a kiss, Daniel. Well, one day it may not be a joke. It’s just her way.” “Elise I would never…” Elise shook her head, interrupting me. “Daniel, I really like you. You’re different from any boy I’ve ever met and I want us to be friends and maybe more someday.

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I just need you to know what you’re in for by being a part of this family and that’s what you’ve become by working for father and being my friend. I can’t control what my sister feels and what she does, and despite what the doctors say, I don’t think anyone really knows why Kathleen is the way she is or even knows who she is, but I need you to know this, Daniel. My sister lost her joy for life when she was a little girl and now she’s like a wild wounded bird learning to fly again. I feel her sadness every day because she is my sister. And if something untoward would happen, perhaps even with you, I would hope you didn’t judge her.” “I won’t,” I replied softly, thinking of the confusing emotions that I had every time I was in the presence of Kathleen. “Just don’t fall in love with her Daniel…she’s very persuasive and very beautiful.” I wanted so badly at that moment to tell Elise that I did indeed already love her, that I thought she was the most beautiful and perfect girl that I had ever seen, that I wanted her to be my girl, but I was still unsure of myself. The Preston sister’s beauty was like a curse, making me say and do things I couldn’t control, or worst still, rendering me a mute who silently nodded at any comment they made, mesmerized by their closeness, unable to put thoughts into words. “I won’t,” I answered weakly, berating myself in silence for not being able to find the right words to say. We arrived at the edge of town where we spied Nat and Harvey who wandered over and greeted us. Nat had adopted Elise despite my fears of Elise’s presence upsetting our group’s chemistry. Elise’s conservative upbringing had fueled Nat’s friendship by allowing Nat to see how far she could push Elise into doing shocking or daring things like skinny-dipping or reading racy passages from a forbidden novel we had discovered in the bottom of Harvey’s father’s closet. Nat’s sense of adventure was like a ravenous dog with a boundless appetite and the fact that Elise chose to enter our world completely fascinated Nat since we our own dreams were of what it must be like to be rich. Even Nat’s self consciousness about her appearance had begun to change as far as Elise was concerned. Where only days before Nat had seemed ashamed of her clothing or shoes whenever Elise was around, now she dressed in her shabbiest clothes, almost as if to shock Elise.

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Harvey adored Elise. Knowing his penchant for sweets, she often brought along a treat from the Preston kitchens when she joined us, creating an ally for life in my oldest friend. Our friendship attained a new cohesiveness when Elise was present. Nat’s fiery temper was offset by Elise’s calm demeanor. Harvey’s lack of self confidence began to wane as he realized that he had found acceptance and true friendship not only with me, someone he had known since we were infants, but also with Nat, a girl who possessed an unrivaled personality and also with Elise, whose beauty could cause even other girls to look twice. We decided to head to the woods, our favorite place, since it was shady and cool and not far from the river if we decided to go swimming. We talked excitedly about the coming school year and how everyone would react to Elise and our friendship with her. As we made our way to the edge of town, we perceived two older boys walking towards us. The first was familiar to me even though I didn’t know him personally. It was Woody, Nat’s nemesis on the baseball diamond. The same boy that she had failed to strike out earlier that summer. I rarely accompanied Nat and Harvey to the baseball fields anymore because of my work at the Preston’s, and Nat had been pretty quiet about her endeavors on the mound that summer. So it came as a complete surprise to me to see her give a big smile, wave at Woody, and shout out, “Hey Ronnie!” “Ronnie?” I said, perplexed thinking she was talking to the other boy, who was well-dressed and quite handsome. “Shush!” she hissed. “He doesn’t like to be called Woody.” I stood there flabbergasted, looking towards Harvey, who merely shrugged before stunning me even further as he also greeted Woody as Ronnie. “What do you say Harvey? How’s its coming along behind the plate?” said Woody or Ronnie, or whatever the heck his name was. I was immediately furious, incredibly jealous. I thought I knew everything about my friends, yet in the few short weeks that I had worked for the Preston’s and ceased going to practice with Nat and Harvey, a stranger seemed to have wormed his way into my place with me completely unaware of his presence. “You must be Daniel,” said the boy with two names, holding out his hand. “Nat and Harvey tell me you swing a pretty mean bat.” “I shook his hand, looking none too friendly, my feelings still hurt.

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“This is my friend, Bradford James,” said Ronnie, pointing to the handsome boy beside him. This is Nat, the girl I was telling you about, Brad. And these are her friends Harvey and Daniel, and…well you already know Elise. Hey Elise, how you doing?” he added. “Hi Elise, surprised to see me?” declared Bradford in a surprisingly husky voice. I stood there feeling like a complete stranger in my own town as more introductions made the round. Elise actually hugged Bradford and I felt almost physically ill. Who were these people and why were they talking to my friends? Elise, I could understand. I was already bracing myself for the onslaught of boys that was sure to come once school started. But no one had ever talked to Nat or Harvey except me unless it was to be mean to them. Two separate conversations began at once. Ronnie talking excitedly to Nat and Harvey about baseball and Brad making small talk to Elise about her family. I struggled to listen to both. I didn’t know whether to be threatened more by the handsome boy trying to steal my girl or the athletic one who apparently had already begun to infiltrate his way into my world and my friendships. “So Woody!” I said much too loudly, emphasizing the name Nat had told me he disliked. “I bet Nat can strike you out now!” All the conversations had ceased at once, and Ronnie looked at me curiously. Nat looked furious. Harvey and Elise looked perplexed. Brad looked as if he wanted to burst out laughing. I struggled to make myself taller, more imposing, a futile endeavor since even Nat was an inch taller than me. I felt like a heel, realizing how stupid my comment must have sounded like. I felt like an incredible ass. Ronnie chuckled and winked at Nat. “Well Daniel, I’m not going to take that bet since Nat has struck me out every day at the ball fields for the last week or so.” I flushed deep red, feeling hurt and betrayed that Nat or even Harvey had never bothered to tell me this important bit of news. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence ensued before Bradford suddenly spoke up cheerfully. “Hey Elise. Guess what? My father told me that your dad was letting you attend public school this year so I pestered him day and night to let me skip this year at the academy so I could go there too? He agreed, probably because my mom’s been sick like I was telling you a moment ago. But, isn’t it great? We can hang out like when we were kids!” 79

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I felt as if the earth were opening up and trying to swallow me. Nat, after giving me one last dirty look, had began chatting amiably again with Ronnie. Elise was giving a dazzling smile to the other boy who looked as if he belonged in movies. Even Harvey ignored me as Ronnie asked him if he had tried the new stance at the plate they had talked about. I felt like throwing up. “I gotta go guys,” I said impulsively. “I forgot…I was supposed to do something for my dad.” I gave a weak wave to the two boys, barely hearing their muffled, “Nice to meet you”, and began jogging home, so shook up that I forgot to even say goodbye to my friends. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and it only made me feel more furious because I knew I was being petty and that I had focused a lot of attention on the Preston’s lately, especially Elise, instead of spending time with Nat and Harvey like I usually did. I felt extremely hurt, as if I had lost something important, something that had been only mine. Then I heard a glorious sound. “Daniel…wait!” I heard Elise shout. I pulled up and hurriedly wiped my eyes with my sleeve, before turning around. Elise, Nat, and Harvey were running towards me as the two boys set off towards the center of town. I struggled to mask the feelings that were probably showing in my face. The trio arrived, looking at me curiously. “Nat still looked a little angry, but there was also something else in her look…concern perhaps? “What work do you have to do? Your dad’s not even home. He’s at work,” demanded Nat. “He…he wanted me to clean the cellar,” I lied, still struggling to maintain my composure. “It’s August, Daniel. Your dad asked you to clean the cellar when summer started and you’ve been putting it off every single day all summer long. What’s the rush now?” “I don’t know,” I said meekly. “You just all looked busy so I figured now would be a good time,” I added, despising myself for my weak character. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” crowed Nat, never one to hold her punches. 80

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“I am not!” I shouted, much too loudly again, and I stormed off once more towards home. I could hear the sound of running feet behind me and the next thing I knew I was being tackled. I struggled to get Nat off me but it was futile. Nat was obviously out to make a point and when she got something into her head there was no stopping her, not to mention that she was stronger than me, a fact that still aggravated me to no end. She wrestled me over, sat on top of me, and pinned my arms to the ground. My face was as red as a beet. I was more embarrassed that Elise had seen me be handled so easily by a girl than anything else, especially after hearing Elise’s story about my heroics with Harvey. “You had better straighten up and quit acting like a stuck up snob, Daniel Tyler, or I’m going to sock you!” shouted Nat. I pushed with all my strength and for the first time ever I knocked Nat off me in a wrestling match. I leapt to my feet, victorious, amazed that I had bettered her for the moment. I was so startled that I had actually eluded Nat’s grasp that for a moment I didn’t even feel angry anymore. Nat was sitting on her butt in the street and she looked as surprised as I felt. I knew she was deciding what to do next and the thought of what might be coming worried me. “How come you never told me you struck out Woody or Ronnie, or whatever his stupid name is!” I shouted nervously, hoping she would fight with words and not blows.” “Because you’re always at work or with Elise!” shouted Nat, just as loudly, as she rocketed to her feet. “I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted you to see me do it in person, you jerk! You haven’t came to watch me pitch in two weeks!” Nat balled up her fists, clearly furious with me, and not just about today. I cringed, waiting for the onslaught. Then she seemed to change her mind and whirled around, grabbing Harvey by the arm. “C’mon Harvey! When jerk boy decides to quit acting like a jerk, maybe he can try to find us.” Nat stormed off dragging Harvey along who looked helplessly behind him at me and Elise as if to say, “What can I do?” I felt completely deflated and looked over towards Elise for comfort, encouragement, a friendly face…anything. She was glaring at me. “You’d better catch up and apologize to her right now,” declared Elise, angrily. “That’s your very best friend and she worships you!” 81

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My pride was still wounded and I struggled to think of an argument. “Do it now Daniel…please. Don’t disappoint me on something like this. You’re not acting like the boy I saw helping Harvey that day.” Whether it was Elise’s sweet voice pleading with me, the thought of losing friendships I held dear, or something else entirely, I don’t know. But at that moment I only wished so bad that I could undo the last thirty minutes of my life and start over. Maybe even the last two weeks as I thought of all the times I got off work, tired, deciding to not go see if Harvey and Nat were playing ball. I felt ashamed. I had accused my own friends of abandoning me in my own mind yet I had only myself to blame for not knowing what was happening in their lives. I grabbed Elise by the hand and we started running towards Nat who was still dragging Harvey along by one arm. Harvey, upon seeing us give chase, was doing his best to slow Nat down. The smile that Elise gave me as I grabbed her hand made my heart soar. For the moment Bradford and his movie star looks were forgotten. I had friendships to save and the most beautiful girl in the world was holding my hand and no longer angry at me. There was still hope. We shouted for Nat to stop, struggling to catch up as she dragged Harvey along like an oversized rag doll. “Nat…please…just let me say something,” I pleaded. Nat stopped, released Harvey’s arm. He stood there wincing and rubbing his wrist. “What do you want?” she said, her tone suddenly normal again, as she stared at the ground, unable to look me in the eye. I had witnessed Nat’s volatile mood swings numerous times over the summer and it never ceased to amaze me how she could be so furious, ranting and raving like a lunatic one minute and seconds later, completely calm, her voice soft and girly, her demeanor quietly shy. “Nat, I’m sorry. I’ve been working a lot and I’m still trying to get used to it and well, I was trying to get to know Elise a little and…um…” Nat interrupted me, looking up and glancing at Elise. “I didn’t mean anything about you, Elise. It’s just we haven’t seen Daniel much lately.” “It’s okay, Nat. It’s my fault too. I always talk to Daniel when he’s getting ready to leave work. Sometimes I talk too much.” Nat accepted Elise’s comment silently with a nod and turned her eyes to me.

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“I wish I had seen you strike, Woody…um… I mean Ronnie out, Nat.” “Well me and Harvey go there every time they practice just like we always have. Come if you want to, but I’m not begging you.” “Dang Nat, look at my arm!” said Harvey, holding both his arms outstretched. The one you pulled me with looks longer now!” Harvey looked so serious that we all laughed and the tension seemed to ease a little as we examined his imaginary injury. “So Elise, chirped Nat, her face mischievous, “was that your boyfriend back there?” Elise flushed and glanced towards me. “No, his parents are friends with mine and we spent a lot of time together when we were little.” Nat smirked. “Sure seemed to me like he wanted to be your boyfriend, changing schools and everything,” added Nat, as she studied both Elise and I for any kind of reaction.” I knew Nat wasn’t really being mean-spirited. It was just her way to try and dig up anything she might sense that held a secret. I looked over at Elise, my heart beginning to race, wanting to know more about this boy my own self, but for purely selfish reasons. Elise seemed to be weighing a response when she suddenly placed her hand in mine. “I like Daniel,” she said quietly. “I don’t think it’s much of a secret anymore.” I stared in amazement at her fingers entwined in mine and the elation I felt at that moment was simply beyond words. I looked up to see Nat staring intently, not at Elise, but at me. Her glasses were perched crookedly on the end of her nose. Her hair dark, wild, and wind blown as usual. There was something in Nat’s face in that instant that I had never seen before as she stared back at me. It wasn’t anger. For just a moment the thought came to me that somehow she looked sad. I struggled to understand why. Nat had made no secret about never wanting a boyfriend, and there had never even been anything that resembled her ever suggesting that I could be the exception to that, not that it mattered. Nat was my friend. I couldn’t even begin to imagine her as anything else. Heck, I couldn’t even picture Nat with any boy as a boyfriend. He’d probably get slugged more than kissed unless he followed her every order.

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He’d be playing baseball instead of going to school dances plus she’d probably drag me and Harvey around like she always did, maybe even Elise, and everyone had knew that three was a crowd, let alone four or five. No, I thought to myself, it was something else. Maybe it was a little bit of what I had felt earlier when the two boys I didn’t really know had horned in on my time with my friends, on my territory. Maybe it was because we were getting older as the summer wore on. We were changing, not just physically, but in the ways we felt about things too. We were all teenagers now. The rules were different. Maybe Nat just felt like I did; that somehow all the changes that would come into our lives would somehow flow right past us like water around stones in a river, leaving very little trace of having passed our way. It was not to be so. Our lives would all change, sooner than we thought, and in ways we never imagined.

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