Here is the bowling chart after the rematch against Almondbury BC at Meltham on Saturday 2nd August which we lost 7/9 since we had 6 winners each and we lost on aggregate by just 1 point being 184/185. The last time we played Almondbury BC was at Outlane on 26th April and on that occasion we won 9/7. I missed Match No10 because I was on Holiday at Bridlington therefore could not produce a report of the action however I am informed by our efficient Captain Picard that we won 11/5 against Kirkheaton BC at Skemanthorpe Central, the first team we have replayed and we also won Kirkheaton 12/4 on our very first match of the 2008 season back on the 12th April.
Match No9 at Ravensknowle Park against Skemanthorpe Windmill Scor Player e The Chosen One 21 Magyar 21 Bimbo 21 Elmer Fudd 21 Mad Mick 19 Ghoulash 17 Capt Picard 17 Tonto Junior 16 Knight Rider 15 The Eskimo 10 TB 9 Moggy 8 Total 195 First Sweep Winner
Scor Oponent e J Hirst 6 T Wood 13 A Pearson 18 J Broadbent 18 L Hardy 21 M Wood 21 A Crowther 21 R Turner 21 A Bentley 21 B Lockwood 21 S Lord 21 B Davison 21 Total 223 Second Sweep Winner
We lost 12/4 at Ravensknowl Park with our Vice Captain, The Chosen One taking first on the 1of5
sweep, of course Magyar scored is usual win taking seconds but shock horror and our No1 bowler, a person who I thought was invincible was beaten 21/15. The look of devastation on his face gave rise to numerous jokes by his fellow tem members and of course his dad Elmer Fudd who had won 21/18, who said he needed a wheel for his chin. Elmer Fudd also exclaimed that Magyar who was catapulted up to No1 where he is still hanging on by a thread, has all his opponents carefully chosen from a cage, indicating that they were rabbits.
You can see here on the picture above the look of delight on Magyars face has he realises The Knight Riders loss means he will now top the league of players for the first time since April. However since then Magyars lead in terms of Aggregate score has diminished to just 7 points and his average has fallen below that of the Knight Rider. You can also see the look of concern for her boyfriend by Leia as she watches him walk from the green utterly defeated and deflated. Goulash can be also seen in the middle of the picture wearing his Russian style hat, it was before this match that The Knight Rider decided he wasn’t leaving us after all, probably realising his own weaknesses. My dad, Wonderwood who spectates every match woke my mum up the next morning after our match here asking her to pass him that bowl, he was so captivated by the game he was dreaming about it.
TB who scored the highest scores of his own matches losing 21/9 can be seem in the above picture handing over his sweep money to Rolf Harris, TB his carrying his new “Bowling For Dummies” book which he has been studying extensively I myself also had a quick scout through its pages which enabled me to lose with my personal best so far of 19/21 with a great deal of support and encouragement from my marker, patient trainer and good long term friend The Knight Rider. Indeed on the last end against my opponent Les Hardy it was 19 across but I went completely to pieces and let him take victory scoring a two, it was probably the closest I have come to winning all season, but a number of mistakes meant it wasn’t to be, still I can say I did better Statistically than my trainer, though if I had been playing his opponent I might have not even scored a single point. Our other winner was Bimbo who after a fantastic and audience captivating match won 21/18. Match No10 at Skelmanthorpe Central against Kirkheaton C&BC Scor Player e Knight Rider 21 Magyar 21 Bimbo 21 Capt Picard 21 Moggy 21 The Eskimo 21 Tonto Junior 21 The Chosen One 20 Elmer Fudd 17 Ghoulash 16 Rolf Harris 7 TB 5 Total 212 First Sweep Winner
Scor Oponent e C Sykes 5 M Smith 7 D Bullas 10 R Balmford 11 E Hepworth 11 J Broadhead 15 K Grahan 17 T Whitney 21 R Barker 21 D Elint 21 G Hodgson 21 K Bradley 21 Total 181 Second Sweep Winner
While I was away enjoying myself on Holiday at Skipsea near Bridlington with 14 other “Mad” people like me which if you have the internet and the inclination you can read all about at http://www.madmickstories.com/Skipsea2.html the above match was being played at Skelmanthorpe.
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We have now passed the halfway mark to the season and was replaying Kirkheaton again which we again won with 7 winners to their 5. The Knight Rider was back in top form showing us his recent loss was just a mere blip on a untarnished landscape and not to be outdone Magyar kept up his unbeaten track record. There was also a third win for The King of the Rabbits, The Eskimo and more wins for Captain Picard, Bimbo and Tonto Junior. Of course since I was enjoying my 12 man tent and the best weather of the year so far I wasn’t here to annoy anyone with my camera, therefore everyone could concentrate on the bowling but that means I also have no pictures.
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Bowling Word search
Match No11 at Meltham against Almondbury BC Scor Player e Capt Picard 21 Bimbo 21 Billy Bunny 21 Knight Rider 21 The Chosen One 21 Magyar 21 Happy 17 Mad Mick 12 Ghoulash 12 Moggy 10 The Eskimo 6 TB 1 Total 184 First Sweep Winner
Scor Oponent e K Sanderson 5 M Dyson 7 J Lever 9 A Smerson 11 K Brook 13 R Lees 14 J Booth 21 M Hopley 21 G Hoult 21 M Scholes 21 M Shuttleworth 21 J Halliwell 21 Total 185 Second Sweep Winner
With six winners each it was a close match but until you look at the aggregate you don’t realise just how close the match was, an incredible 1 point separated us but we might just as well as been separated by 50 because the two points went to Almondbury giving them a win of 9/7, which was the exact amount we won them by on our match at Outlane back in April. The green was in fantastic condition and is according to Goulash a competition green which Magyar plays on regularly in his eyebrow cup matches which his Austrian wife (who is the boss) attends with him.
I was also informed by a source who wishes to remain anonymous that Magyar is part machine and part man, I had suspected this for some time when he told me how he used complex quartic equations and elliptic integrals to measure the 4of5
grasses resistance to his bowls when releasing them that said it all. I looked like I had come straight from Afghanistan with my new gangster clothes which was actually camouflage so I could blend into the scenery and get better pictures because if someone knows they are being observed they act different, a bit like the way electrons behave in Quantum Mechanics. The green seemed huge and then Goulash told me my opponent Mel Hopley was one of the best players in their team, even though the name Hopley has rabbit connotations and this combined with the green running so fast I was really worried I was going to be thrashed. So much so that I tried to persuade Elma Fudd who had just come along as a spectator to play my Match but he refused and The Knight Rider told me that it was by playing good players that I gain experience.
In the photo above you can see me in action delivering one of my bowls, surprising myself I scored 3 on two ends straight off before my opponent adjusted to the speed of the green having he moaned been advised by one of his tem members that the green was flying. I then managed to scrape a further four points but got stuck on 7 as Mel Hopley found a nice mark across the green, I was stuck on 7 for so long that when I managed to get the jack back I bowled it straight off, I joked that I hadn’t had the jack for so long I bowled it with the same force as my bowls but I reckon I was just so fired up at having scored another two.
I still managed to scrape together another 3 points at the All but stage coming off with a throbbing headache from concentrating so hard and a well earned 12 on what was I reckon the hardest match I have played so far. My other rabbit friends were also struggling, the Eskimo scored just 6 and TB came off with just one point but Happy did well despite just arriving back from Turkey and needing matchsticks to keep his eyes open he scored 17 On Thursday nights I have been practising with two more up and coming bowlers, my brother Alan Titsmarsh (he’s famous for his gardening) and my son Luke who is 13, but The Knight rider said he should not pick up my bad habits he also gave me a tip that when someone asks for the jack back like they did today I should bowl it back to get a feel of the green instead of just throwing it. The Knight Rider has been bowling since he wore diapers and still had his dummy, he was the champion in the inter-nursery toddlers championship in 1980, thankfully he has decided to stick with us lads at Pip Hill instead of moving to a team higher in the league. The Chosen One also won another game this time 21/13 but I was intrigued at his delivery of his bowls which I reckon looks really majestic as the following photo illustrates
League Mv
LW
TW
Team Name
Plyd
D
L
Pnts
0
1
121
12
W 1 0 1 0
>
1
1
Almondbury Lib
11
▲
4
2
Farnley Tyas
>
3
3
Skel Windmill
0
2
118
11
8
0
3
101
▼
2
4
>
5
5
Almondbury BC
11
6
0
5
99
Primrose Hill Lib
11
7
0
4
>
6
91
6
Outlane BC
11
3
0
8
84
▲ ▼
8
7
Thongsbridge
11
2
0
9
75
7
8
Kirkheaton C&BC
11
5
0
6
71
>
9
9
Elland CA&BC
12
3
0
9
65
>
10
10
Cowcliffe Lib
11
2
0
9
65
I managed to find the league positions on the following site http://www.huddersfieldbowling.webeden.co.uk/ Since the Huddersfield Examiner is too unreliable posting the scores, anyway you can see our Pip Hill team plants itself in the middle of the table at No5 even though two of the clubs appear to have enjoyed 12 matches. Date
Us
12/04/08
12
Op
Venue
Kirkheaton BC
26/04/08
Oponents
4
Golcar C & AC
9
Almondbury BC
7
Outlane BC
03/05/08
11
Farnley Tyas BC
5
Cowcliffe Lib
10/05/08
5
Almondbury Lib
11
Kirkheaton C&BC
31/05/08
5
Elland CA&BC
11
Albion BC
21/06/08
9
Cowcliffe Lib
7
Hillhouse & B
28/06/08
9
Thongsbridge BC
7
Almondbury BC
05/07/08
9
Outlane BC
7
Farnley Tyas BC
12/07/08
4
Skel Windmill
12
19/07/08
11
Kirkheaton BC
5
Skel Central
02/08/08
7
Almondbury BC
9
Meltham No 1
Ravensknowle Park
09/08/08
Farnley Tyas BC
Elland No 1
16/08/08
Almondbury Lib
Denby Dale BC
23/08/08
Elland CA&BC
Thorpe Green BSC
30/08/08
Cowcliffe Lib
Clayton West BC
06/09/08
Thongsbridge BC
Linthwaite Hall
13/09/08
Outlane BC
Skel Windmill
20/09/08
Skel Windmill
Holmfirth BC
Lost
Won
Our next match is at Denby Dale Bowling Club on the 16th August which then leaves 5 more matches to the end of the season, hopefully I might win a match before the season ends.
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