Bizarre Bazaar 2009 Auction Guide

tional Beer Festival on Saturday, May 2nd at Rhode Island Convention Center ($72), donated by Kristine & William David. Food, music, unlimited sampling. Must be 21 to bid. [$20] Lot 69, 3:27: Cheer Up... $25 gift certificate to What Cheer Antiques ($25) and a crystal paperweight donated by Mayor Cicilline featuring the seal of Providence ($25). [$10] Lot 70, 3:30: In Shape for Summer... A Brown summer recreation membership ($85) and two $25 gift cards to the Hawaiian Bronze Tanning Salon. [$15] Lot 71, 3:33: Rhode Island’s Finest... Lunch with former RI senator Lincoln Chafee. [$25] Lot 72, 3:36: Sweat in Your Fashion, Not About It... Fashionable knit cardigan from Gabrielle Apparel ($455). [$40] Lot 73, 3:39: Out of Hand... Juggling lesson for 5 to 10 people from Jeremy Kuhn of the Brown Juggling Club. [$10] Lot 74, 3:42: Be Like Bacchus... 2 Grand Tasting tickets to the Sun WineFest ’10 at Mohegan Sun on Sun., Jan. 31, 2010 ($140). Must be 21 to bid. [$20] Lot 75, 3:45: Pot a-Wheelie... 2 fine pieces of pottery by Lorraine Fryer. [$15] Lot 76, 3:48: Lobbyist’s Lunch... Lunch with RI Lieutenant Governor Elizabeth Roberts. [$25] Lot 77, 3:51: Mom’s Day Off... $30 gift certificate to Mod Mama, breakfast for 2 at Rufful’s Restaurant ($10), and 2 tickets to the Rhode Island Philharmonic Orchestra. [$20] Lot 78, 3:54: Lactic Acid Trip... 2 spinning sessions for up to 10 with Professor John Stein. [$10] Lot 79, 3:57: Not Just Another Love Song... Have your beloved written into a song and serenaded in a manner of your choice by Phil Arevalo. [$5] Lot 80, 4:00: Orgo-sm... One hour of organic chemistry tutoring for up to 4 students with Orgo Professor Paul Williard, completed anytime before the Chem350 final this semester. [$10] Lot 81, 4:03: That’s Right, Put In Work... A free class from Brown Physical Education (up to $110). [$20] Lot 82, 4:06: Get That Man You Deserve... Another free class from Brown Physical Education (up to $110). [$20] Lot 83, 4:09: Hits the Spot... Play with a free Brown Intramural registration (up to $40) and unwind with Katie Meyers’ banana bread and a 1-hour pleasant backrub from Joost De Nijs [$10] Lot 84, 4:12: Savage Feast... Lunch for 2 at the Faculty Club with CS Professor John Savage. [$20] Live Raffle Drawing, 4:15: Acoustic Ovation Celebrity guitar, electric guitar, IBM computer, plug-in scanner, PlayStation, GameCube, Ruth Simmons T-shirts, and free slices at Antonio’s and Nice Slice! Lot 85, 4:21: Get Your Kicks... Self-defense lesson for up to 4 with third-degree black belt Kristen Soule. [$10] Lot 86, 4:24: Fishy Company... $100 gift certificate to McCormick & Schmick’s, donated by Charlene Ku. [$20] Lot 87, 4:27: Booze Cruise... 2 tickets to a whiskey-tasting and dinner cruise in Boston Harbor on the Spirit of Boston on May 13, 2009 ($170). Must be 21 to bid. [$20] Lot 88, 4:30: Float a Business Plan... Canoe trip on the Blackstone Canal and River with Professor Barrett Hazeltine. [$15] Lot 89, 4:33: Na Na Why Don’t You Get a Job?... A private session for up to 6 on interviewing and public speaking skills by Persuasive Communication Professor Barbara Tannenbaum. [$15] Lot 90, 4:36: GREat Expectations... A free GRE course at Princeton Review

($1,049). [$150] ALL BIDDERS WILL GET $50 OFF A GRE COURSE! Lot 91, 4:39: Shall We Dance?... 4 tickets to Festival Ballet’s production of The Nutcracker at the Providence Performing Arts Center on Dec. 11/12/13, 2009 ($192). [$30] Lot 92, 4:42: Lunch with the Law... Lunch for 4 to 5 with RI Attorney General Patrick Lynch and a tour of his office. [$80] Lot 93, 4:45: Newport Vacation Package... $250 voucher towards a 2-night stay at the romantic Victoria Skylar Bed & Breakfast and a mid-week $30 gift certificate to the Brick Alley Pub & Restaurant. [$30] Lot 94, 4:48: I Am Bidding (And So Can You!)... 2 VIP tickets to a live taping of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in NYC, a $50 Visa gift card for gas, and an audiobook of Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!) for the ride ($16), donated by Jonathan Bodow. [$55] Lot 95, 4:51: All the News That’s Fit to Poke Fun At... 2 VIP tickets to a live taping of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in NYC. [$10] Lot 96, 4:54: Deer Tick / Elvis Perkins / Low Anthem... 4 tickets to the April 24 concert at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel ($48). [$10] Lot 97, 4:57: George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic... 4 tickets to the May 15 concert at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel ($94). [$20] Lot 98, 5:00: Sexpertise... Sex workshop for up to 15 with sexologist Megan Andelloux, booked a month in advance within a year of the auction ($500, choose from a wide selection: www.ohmegan.com). [$50] Lot 99, 5:03: Get Smart... A free LSAT, GMAT, GRE or MCAT course at Kaplan (up to $1,800). [$150] Lot 100, 5:06: Grapes of Rapture... Private group tour of Sakonnet Vineyards and wine tasting for up to 10 ($150). Must be 21 to bid. [$30] Lot 101, 5:09: Purple Haze... 7-string Fender Squier Stagemaster guitar with gig bag ($150). [$30]

The Alpha Delta Phi Society presents...

The 23rd annual

charity auction Thursday, April 16, 2009 12 - 5pm, Wriston Quad (Rain location: Sayles Hall)

BID ON CHEAP STUFF:

Princeton Review GRE course Kaplan Test Prep Course Daily Show VIP Tickets Lunch with Lincoln Chafee Spring Weekend Concert Tickets Private Sex Workshop Broadway Tickets Newport Vacation Package Lunch with Professors and Deans All proceeds from this year’s Biz Baz will benefit PROVIDENCE SUMMERBRIDGE, a program with a dual mission: to create a pathway to college for low-income, academically motivated middle school students in Providence Public Schools, and to encourage talented high school and college students to pursue careers in education. The Brunonian Chapter of the Alpha Delta Phi Society is committed to promoting literacy causes and has raised over $150,000 through BizBaz. We would like to thank all of the groups, businesses, and people who continue to support the Bizarre Bazaar. For more information about Biz Baz and the Alpha Delta Phi Society, visit our website at: http://www.brown.edu/Students/Alpha_Delta_Phi/bizbaz.php

Plus, we’re raffling off two guitars, an IBM computer, videogame systems, a scanner, Ruth Simmons T-shirts, and more!

2009 BIZBAZ LOTS (Values in Parentheses) [Starting Bids in Brackets]

12PM: Introduction and Opening Remarks. Lot 1, 12:03: Four Left Feet?... Membership for 2 in the Brown Ballroom Club ($80/$180). [$10] Lot 2, 12:06: You Can’t Handle the Ruth!... 2 hand-silkscreened and signed T-shirts of Ruth Simmons. [$5] Lot 3, 12:09: A Sinful Delight... Thriller novel The Seven Sins: The Tyrant Ascending signed by author Jon Land ($25), and two scrumptious flans made by Melissa Diaz. [$10] Lot 4, 12:12: Early Bird Special... All-you-can-eat Country Fresh Breakfast for 2 at Nichols Guest Rooms Bed & Breakfast ($40) in Seekonk, MA. [$5] Lot 5, 12:15: Purls of Wisdom from Knit-Wits... “String Theory” illustration by cartoonist Roxy Palmer and two 2-hour knitting lessons with Anne Barylick, including guidance on buying supplies at a local yarn store. [$10] Lot 6, 12:18: Animal House... 2 tickets to the Roger Williams Park Zoo ($24) and a $50 gift certificate to the Plaid and Stripe pet boutique. [$10] Lot 7, 12:21: Bass-ics... 2 hour-long beginner bass guitar lessons with Justin Satriano. [$10] Lot 8, 12:24: In Soviet Russia, Lot Bids You!... Dinner with Professor Emeritus of History Abbott Gleason. [$10] Lot 9, 12:27: In His Own Image... 2-hour Photoshop lesson with artist Alexander Sayer Gard-Murray ($40). [$10] Lot 10, 12:30: A Book and a Booking... Signed copy of New York author J.S. Russo’s upcoming memoir In Sickness and in Health: A Love Story and lunch with him in Providence. [$15] Lot 11, 12:33: Scotchy Scotch Scotch... Signed copy of Single-Malt Whiskies of Scotland by Mark Waymack, plus scotch tasting courtesy of the Waymacks ($40). [$5] Lot 12, 12:36: Plato Fries... Dinner with Professor Joseph Pucci. [$10] Lot 13, 12:39: Sing Sweet Nightingale... 3 hours of voice lessons with Sarah Hersman, star of Yeomen of the Guard and Orfeo ed Euridice ($60). [$10] Lot 14, 12:42: Sea++... Sea kayaking trip with CS Professor Andy van Dam in the fall. [$25] Lot 15, 12:45: Nas / Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings / Deer Tick... One ticket to the Spring Weekend Concert on Friday from the Brown Concert Agency ($15/$25). [$5] Lot 16, 12:48: Of Montreal / Santigold / Toubab Krewe... One ticket to the Spring Weekend Concert on Saturday from the Brown Concert Agency ($15/$25). [$5] Lot 17, 12:51: Carpe Lunchem... Lunch at Hemenway’s with Classics Professor David Konstan in the fall. [$10] Lot 18, 12:54: Throwdown... One-hour pottery lesson with Lorraine Fryer. Your creation is yours to keep. [$10] Lot 19, 12:57: Waterfire... An art print of Providence by Deane S. Lawrence ($1,000), donated and signed by Governor Carcieri. [$100] Lot 20, 1:00: Intelligent De-signed... 2 signed copies of Biology Professor Kenneth Miller’s book Finding Darwin’s God ($30). [$5] Lot 21, 1:03: Don’t Feel Awful: Have a Falafel... Lunch for up to 4 with PoliSci Professor Melani Cammett at a Middle Eastern restaurant to discuss Middle East politics. [$40]

Lot 22, 1:06: Extra Innings... Baseball signed by relief pitcher Hideki Okajima, donated by the Red Sox Foundation. [$10] Lot 23, 1:09: Walk Benefit, Make Benefit... 2 RI Historical Society SummerWalk passes to “Benefit Street: A Mile of History” (walking tour, Jun-Oct, $24), 2 tickets to the John Brown House Museum ($16), and a DVD of Traces of the Trade ($25). [$15] Lot 24, 1:12: Terror on College Hill... 2 RI Historical Society SummerWalk passes to the H.P. Lovecraft Literary Walk (walking tour, Sat. 8/22/09, $24) and 2 tickets to the John Brown House Museum ($16). [$10] Lot 25, 1:15: Dig This!... Dinner for 2 with Archaeology Professor Martha Joukowsky and Chancellor Emeritus Artemis Joukowsky. [$20] Lot 26, 1:18: When Pigs Fly... One pound of N. Carolina pulled pork barbecue and vinegary eastern-style barbecue sauce, delivered overnight to your address, courtesy of Andrew Miklos. [$5] Lot 27, 1:21: In This Lot, We Take YOUR Stuff... $125 worth of moving and storage, local or long distance, from Jones Storage. [$10] Lot 28, 1:24: Go Tux Yourself... $50 gift card to Zuccolo’s Fine Men’s Clothing and a black bow tie and cummerbund set from Classic Tuxedo ($30). [$20] Lot 29, 1:27: Socratic Trialogue... A discourse with preeminent conversationalists Jack Sullivan and Alexander Sayer Gard-Murray on a topic of your choosing, over lunch. [$10] Lot 30, 1:30: Win Ben Stein’s Books... 5 books signed by actor/writer/comedian/game show host Ben Stein ($85). [$20] Lot 31, 1:33: Bizarrebecue Blitz... BBQ party at Michael Blitstein’s house for up to 10. Will accept bizarre meat requests--suggestions include kangaroo, ostrich, buffalo, crocodile... [$50] Lot 32, 1:36: The BUGS Revenge... Give a person of your choice a horrifically enthusiastic singing entourage from Brown University Gilbert & Sullivan for a day. [$10] Lot 33, 1:39: Hipster Hour with Eva... After a wardrobe critique and makeover courtesy of Eva Kurtz-Nelson, adjourn to the Faunce steps and enjoy some (candy) cigarettes. Includes a mix CD and a classic hipster beverage. [$5] Lot 34, 1:42: Fiddling About... 3 hour-long violin lessons with acclaimed violinist Jonathan Cannon, redeemable in April and May ($90). [$10] Lot 35, 1:45: Lattes and YA... Canvas bag of 10 young adult titles from Books on the Square ($120) and 3 free beverages at Malachi’s Café ($10). [$20] Lot 36, 1:48: Trigger Happiness... A trap (clay pigeon) shooting expedition for 2 with the Brown Gun Club ($30). Includes equipment and shooting instruction. [$10] Lot 37, 1:51: It Takes Two to Tang-Soo... Membership for 2 in the Brown Tang Soo Do Club for one semester ($100). [$15] Lot 38, 1:54: Composite Fail... A full-size composite photograph of Alpha Delta Phi Society’s 2008-2009 membership in a broken frame ($1,000). [$100] Lot 39, 1:57: Dear Diary... Set of 3 beautiful journals hand-made by Sara Mann ($25) and a classy pen from Morrison Office Supply Inc ($16). [$10] Lot 40, 2:00: Knitting for Men... 2 hour-long lessons in chainmail armor construction with Peter Goldstein. Materials provided; men of all genders welcome. [$5] Lot 41, 2:03: Thanksgiving Special... $25 gift certificate to the Central Meat Market, a jar of Mike Sokolovksy’s delectable cranberry sauce, and a bowl made by Amandeep Gill ($30). [$10] Lot 42, 2:06: Electric Boogaloo... 2 hour-long Pro Tools or electronic music sessions with Music Professor Jim Moses. [$10] Lot 43, 2:09: Sayles Is Alive with the Sound of Music... Tour of the Sayles Organ with University Organist Mark Steinbach. [$10]

Lot 44, 2:12: Sweet Deal... Pastry commission from baker extraordinaire Anna Waymack and a $25 gift certificate to Scialo Bros. Bakery. [$10] Lot 45, 2:15: Take Out the Mittlemann... Dinner for 2 with Engineering Professor Josef Mittlemann. [$20] Lot 46, 2:18: A Brazilian Getaway... A Brazilian Portuguese audio CD of key words and phrases, a Lonely Planet phrasebook with 2-way dictionary, and a Brazilian music CD ($30). [$5] Lot 47, 2:21: Born to Boogie... 2 matinée tickets to Billy Elliot the Musical on Sunday, May 3rd at the Imperial Theatre on Broadway in NYC ($253), donated by Gail and Frank Pisarcik. [$30] Lot 48, 2:24: Tom’s Tasty Homemade Beverage... 2 bottles of Tom Bergman’s special home brew. [$5] Lot 49, 2:27: A Mellow Evening... with Maddie and Mike. Includes two $10 gift certificates to Nice Slice. [$10] Lot 50, 2:30: Conquer the World... Civilization IV PC game signed by designers Sid Meier and Soren Johnson ($20), and 4 framed photographs from around the world by James Coburn and Felicitee Kertis ($60). [$15] Lot 51, 2:33: You Spindle Me Right Round... Handmade knitting/spinning set, with solid birch low and high whorl spindles, size 13 needles, and 2 oz. of combed Corriedale roving ($20), donated by Michelle Menard. [$5] Lot 52, 2:36: Buon Appetito!... Dinner with Italian Professor Cristina AbbonaSneider. [$10] Lot 53, 2:39: Mahlzeit!... Dinner with German Professor Zachary Sng. [$10] Lot 54, 2:42: Bead-le Mania... Introductory jewelry-making class for up to 2 at Beadworks ($70) and a pair of retro shoe origami earrings by Christie Gibson ($18). [$20] Lot 55, 2:45: Chill Out... A mini-fridge and a 20” electric fan. [$10] Lot 56, 2:48: Day at the Baths... $25 gift certificate to each of Atwells Tanning and Federal Hill Nails, plus a free large pizza at Caserta Pizzeria ($15). [$15] Lot 57, 2:51: Brunonian Idol... Choose between 3 hours of recording time or one song recorded and produced for you or your musical group, courtesy of Steve Schwartz. [$50] Lot 58, 2:54: No More Loose Change... A knit purse made by Hope Williard ($15) and $5 cash donated by some sandwich shop. [$5] Lot 59, 2:57: Sing for Your Supper... Dinner for up to 3 at Mill’s Tavern with Dean Bergeron, Professor Joseph Rovan, and a songwriter of your choice from Music450’s Song Sessions Vol. I (www.soundidea.org/music450). [$30] Lot 60, 3:00: Black and White Is Beautiful... Fashionable 2-piece black-andwhite outfit by Providence designer Leslie Grant ($150). [$20] Lot 61, 3:03: Get Cozy... A teapot made by Amandeep Gill ($45), a tea cozy from Runcible Spoon ($39), and a scarf made by Anne Williard ($30). [$20] Lot 62, 3:06: Sean-demo-nium... 3 hour-long guitar lessons with Battle of the Bands champion Sean Maldonado. [$5] Lot 63, 3:09: Public EmbARRRassment... A piratey public serenade for a person of your choice by the “a capirate” group ARRR!!! [$5] Lot 64, 3:12: 4chan with Phil... One-hour exploration of the cyberspace underworld with veteran seeker Phil Arevalo. [$5] Lot 65, 3:15: An Afternoon in Paradise... Lunch for up to 4 with Neuro Professor Michael Paradiso. [$40] Lot 66, 3:18: Spring Date... 2 tickets to a Trinity Repertory production through June 2009 ($100) and a $25 gift certificate to MuMu Cuisine. [$20] Lot 67, 3:21: Throw Me a Bowl (Or 8)... Commission a 6- to 8-piece pottery set to be made by artist Lorraine Fryer (up to $200). [$30] Lot 68, 3:24: A Festivus for the Rest of Us... 2 tickets to the 2009 Great Interna-