Big Book Of Insults
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Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
The Big Book of Insults AKA How to Be a Nasty Bastard!
Version:
1/00
Version date:
September 2003
Collated by:
http://gasonga.com/
Version: 1/00
Page No: 1
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
Bestsellers for Dilbert from Amazon.com When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.8 (out of 5) Released: 02 March, 2003 - ISBN: 0740732986 Another Day In Cubicle Paradise: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: March, 2002 - ISBN: 0740721941 Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel by Scott Adams
List Price: $24.95 Our Price: $17.47 Avg. Rating: 4.2 (out of 5) Released: 22 October, 2002 - ISBN: 0060518057 Random Acts Of Management:A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 3.9 (out of 5) Released: 01 March, 2000 - ISBN: 0740704532 Always Postpone Meetings With Time Wasting Morons: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: 03 March, 1994 - ISBN: 0836217586 Excuse Me While I Wag (Adams, Scott, Dilbert Book.) by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: 03 April, 2001 - ISBN: 0740713906 Dilbert 2004 Day-To-Day Calendar by Scott Adams
List Price: $11.99 Our Price: $9.59 Avg. Rating: 5 (out of 5) Released: July, 2003 - ISBN: 0740736531 What Do You Call A Sociopath In A Cubicle? Answer: A Coworker (A Dilbert Treasury) by Scott Adams
List Price: $14.95 Our Price: $10.47 Avg. Rating: 2.6 (out of 5) Released: October, 2002 - ISBN: 0740726633 The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions by Scott Adams
List Price: $14.95 Our Price: $10.47 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: June, 1997 - ISBN: 0887308589 Dilbert Gives You the Business by Scott Adams
List Price: $19.95 Our Price: $13.97 Avg. Rating: 3.9 (out of 5) Released: 01 August, 1999 - ISBN: 0740703382
Version: 1/00
Page No: 2
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
At work • • • • • • • • •
You’d be out of your depth in a puddle. You’re starting to make sense, I must need my medication. Don’t let you mind wonder its too small to be out on its own. If brains were taxed you’d get a rebate. If brains were dynamite you couldn’t blow your hat off Go ahead and tell them everything you know, that should take about 10 seconds. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through.
When dating • • • • • • • •
I not your type I’m not inflatable. What do you want to be when you grow up? You should sue the surgeon that did your face. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing. In conversation you are even duller than your letters. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
Dress sense • • • • • • • •
I remember when that was in fashion. It’s amazing what you can buy a charity shops these days. Did you make that yourself? I’ve seen wounds dressed better than that. Have you put on a lot of weight? I’ve got some curtains made from that material. Are you going for the grunge look? If that shirt was any shorter, we’d have to re-classify it as a belt.
Version: 1/00
Page No: 3
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
About other people • • • • • • • • • •
So now you know why cousins shouldn’t marry. Even blonde tell jokes about her. He’s so thick he trip over a cordless drill. He’s as useful as a chocolate fireguard. Any similarity between you and someone intelligent is purely coincidental! Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? Do you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? He often finds himself lost in thought – ‘cause it's an unfamiliar territory.
In the bedroom • • • • •
I’ve seen more life in a tramps vest. You don’t need a bra you need a couple of thimbles and a bit of string. They say ignorance is bliss, so you must be the happiest person alive. Have you got a magnifying glass I can use? I’m not going to eat anything that smells of dead fish.
To the other half • • • • • •
If you were a car I’d trade you in. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter. They say a woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, but that’s because she changes it more often. I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. You’re nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
Version: 1/00
Page No: 4
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
On the Road • • • •
The middle one is the brake You must really get your monies worth from the AA. The heated rear window must be handy for when you’re pushing it. A lot of people seem to be sounding their horns today? Or hadn’t you noticed.
End
Version: 1/00
Page No: 5
The Big Book of Insults
The Big Book of Insults AKA How to Be a Nasty Bastard!
Version:
1/00
Version date:
September 2003
Collated by:
http://gasonga.com/
Version: 1/00
Page No: 1
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
Bestsellers for Dilbert from Amazon.com When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.8 (out of 5) Released: 02 March, 2003 - ISBN: 0740732986 Another Day In Cubicle Paradise: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: March, 2002 - ISBN: 0740721941 Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel by Scott Adams
List Price: $24.95 Our Price: $17.47 Avg. Rating: 4.2 (out of 5) Released: 22 October, 2002 - ISBN: 0060518057 Random Acts Of Management:A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 3.9 (out of 5) Released: 01 March, 2000 - ISBN: 0740704532 Always Postpone Meetings With Time Wasting Morons: A Dilbert Book by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: 03 March, 1994 - ISBN: 0836217586 Excuse Me While I Wag (Adams, Scott, Dilbert Book.) by Scott Adams
List Price: $10.95 Our Price: $8.76 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: 03 April, 2001 - ISBN: 0740713906 Dilbert 2004 Day-To-Day Calendar by Scott Adams
List Price: $11.99 Our Price: $9.59 Avg. Rating: 5 (out of 5) Released: July, 2003 - ISBN: 0740736531 What Do You Call A Sociopath In A Cubicle? Answer: A Coworker (A Dilbert Treasury) by Scott Adams
List Price: $14.95 Our Price: $10.47 Avg. Rating: 2.6 (out of 5) Released: October, 2002 - ISBN: 0740726633 The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions by Scott Adams
List Price: $14.95 Our Price: $10.47 Avg. Rating: 4.6 (out of 5) Released: June, 1997 - ISBN: 0887308589 Dilbert Gives You the Business by Scott Adams
List Price: $19.95 Our Price: $13.97 Avg. Rating: 3.9 (out of 5) Released: 01 August, 1999 - ISBN: 0740703382
Version: 1/00
Page No: 2
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
At work • • • • • • • • •
You’d be out of your depth in a puddle. You’re starting to make sense, I must need my medication. Don’t let you mind wonder its too small to be out on its own. If brains were taxed you’d get a rebate. If brains were dynamite you couldn’t blow your hat off Go ahead and tell them everything you know, that should take about 10 seconds. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through.
When dating • • • • • • • •
I not your type I’m not inflatable. What do you want to be when you grow up? You should sue the surgeon that did your face. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing. In conversation you are even duller than your letters. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
Dress sense • • • • • • • •
I remember when that was in fashion. It’s amazing what you can buy a charity shops these days. Did you make that yourself? I’ve seen wounds dressed better than that. Have you put on a lot of weight? I’ve got some curtains made from that material. Are you going for the grunge look? If that shirt was any shorter, we’d have to re-classify it as a belt.
Version: 1/00
Page No: 3
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
About other people • • • • • • • • • •
So now you know why cousins shouldn’t marry. Even blonde tell jokes about her. He’s so thick he trip over a cordless drill. He’s as useful as a chocolate fireguard. Any similarity between you and someone intelligent is purely coincidental! Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? Do you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? He often finds himself lost in thought – ‘cause it's an unfamiliar territory.
In the bedroom • • • • •
I’ve seen more life in a tramps vest. You don’t need a bra you need a couple of thimbles and a bit of string. They say ignorance is bliss, so you must be the happiest person alive. Have you got a magnifying glass I can use? I’m not going to eat anything that smells of dead fish.
To the other half • • • • • •
If you were a car I’d trade you in. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter. They say a woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, but that’s because she changes it more often. I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. You’re nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
Version: 1/00
Page No: 4
Gasonga
The Big Book of Insults
On the Road • • • •
The middle one is the brake You must really get your monies worth from the AA. The heated rear window must be handy for when you’re pushing it. A lot of people seem to be sounding their horns today? Or hadn’t you noticed.
End
Version: 1/00
Page No: 5
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