Bereavement Card

To Our Family and Friends Thank you for your kind words, your thoughts and your prayers in this difficult time. Although we are grieving the loss of our child, we are fortunate to have such caring family and friends close to us.

As we grieve, we know that there will be some awkward, even difficult moments between us. We appreciate your patience and understanding and hope the experience of our loss will eventually strengthen the bonds between us. In the meantime, we would like to share the thoughts on the back of this card that may help provide you with a better understanding of our situation.

>> Helpful Thoughts 1.

Don’t be afraid to speak my child’s name. I need to hear his name.

2.

If I cry or get emotional when we talk about my child, please know that it isn’t because you have hurt me. The fact that my child has died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional episodes are healing.

3.

4.

Please do not remove pictures and other reminders of my child from your home. I’m keeping mine. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. If I’m having a good day, it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped grieving. If I’m having a bad day, it doesn’t mean I need counseling.

5.

I wish others knew that the death of a child is different from other losses. Please don’t compare it to the loss of a parent, spouse or pet.

6.

I need you to be around. Please don’t shy away from me because I am grieving.

7.

I wish others knew that all of the “crazy” grief reactions I’m having are actually very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness and the questioning of values and beliefs can all be expected following the death of a child.

8.

Please don’t expect my grief to be finished in six months.

9.

I wish you understood the physical reactions to grief. I may gain or lose weight, become ill or accident-prone, and experience drastic changes to my sleeping patterns.

10. Our child’s birthday, the anniversary of her death, and holidays may be difficult times for us. Please remind us that you are thinking of our child on these days. If we are quiet and withdrawn, please know that we are thinking about our child and everything will be okay. 11. Please do not offer me alcohol or drugs. The only way I can handle my grief is to experience it. I have to hurt before I can heal. 12. Please understand that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my child died … and I may never be again. I may have new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs. Please try to get to know the new me. We may become closer than ever. 13. While we appreciate your support and understanding, sometimes we just need to be alone.