Attending A Straight Dance

Originally printed in WSD Today, a supplement to the Western Star. This is a collection of pointers and observations about attending a straight square dance for your very first time. Originally part of a series which Patty White prepared in April, 1989, it was

Freeman Stamper

edited by Freeman Stamper. The Northern California Roundup is always Memorial Day weekend and is being held in Santa Rosa this year [1989]. WSD will be carpooling to Roundup on Saturday, May 26. While it will look and feel like the IAGSDC convention, workshops are not as extensive. You will be able to dance only at the highest program for which you have completed classes. Being "pulled through" a few calls you don't know could be disastrous. The Club doesn't have time to schedule a learn-the-other-role class; however, if you are planning to go to Roundup, you will need to dance your correct biological role. Use the next three Mondays to orchestrate some tips where you can dance your biological role if you are not currently doing so. The square dance scene is a large one, with over 25,000 clubs, fantastic callers, wonderful people and great dancing all over the world. WSD follows a policy of building gay square dancing and of interfacing with the straight dance community. Western Star has been building the bridge of interfacing since its beginning in 1982. Attending Roundup is our way of practicing this interface, and we have had considerable success in producing quality dancers who are noticed and respected. Roundup will look and feel like any gay dance you have already attended. There are tips composed of hash, a singing call, and a break. You will see a crinoline on every woman, so, since there is little if any "gender-bending," you'll not have difficulty remembering who is dancing what role. As at any convention, Roundup rotates the callers through the various halls each hour. And it goes on almost all day, not just three hours. The basic principle is that the visitor (in this case, that's we the gay community) always follows the customs of the host (that's the straight community who has organized Roundup). Bowing to the customs of the host applies to styling, dress, floor courtesies, everything. Let's start with styling. Styling: You'll see a wide variety of dance styles—from sedate dancing, almost like a minuet, to very high-energy kicks and twirls. Many straight dancers do no styling since they feel it corrupts the smooth flow of the dance. Don't be fooled because their style looks a little dull; there are some very good dancers out there—people who are always in the right place at the right time, smoothly holding squares together and making everyone else feel great because they think they did it! A few clubs actually disapprove of styling—perfectly innocent twirling for example or circling to a line without the taught circle and end-dancer twirl. Some ladies (LOL's—Little Old Ladies-- especially) don't like to be twirled (hard to believe, but true!). Some LOL's don't mind the twirl but don't get to do it often, so their balance may be off. Be certain that YOU are in control when you twirl the women. The men may never twirl women, so don't pull his joints out of socket by twirling yourself. The thing to do is to take your cues from others in your square. If in doubt, just don't style until you see the others doing it. And if someone does a styling you've not done, just do your best to follow. You could catch on the second or third time through, and you might like it. WHAT TO WEAR: At straight dances, "square dance attire" is absolutely required in the clothing of your biological sex. (Yes, Steffany, the Bradleys, and Sybil must all stay home.) Men wear slacks or new jeans (button all the buttons) and long-sleeved shirts, preferably western, with a complimentary-color western scarf (not really required). Women must wear dresses, preferably with at least a small crinoline and definitely with pettipants. Everyone should wear sturdy, comfortable shoes (the floors may be cement). Cowboy boots are perfectly acceptable for men, but you'll see a lot of men with soft-

soled shoes (complimenting their polyester trousers). Hats are not acceptable. Rhinestone jewelry is a no-no for women as it snags, but you will see rhinestones on men's and women's clothing, just not excessive amounts. Failing to observe the "square dance attire" requirement may result in your being asked to leave the hall. Such as, a mixed-sex couple who were wearing the biologically correct clothing were dressed in cute white sailor costumes. The costumes were well received at the Western Star retreat, but they were not permitted to dance at Roundup. And, it is not polite to point at or visibly snicker about all the couples' matching outfits. SAME-SEX COUPLES: Until you get through Advanced and into Challenge, you will almost never see same-sex couples outside the gay community. People object to being confused about their positions, and everyone else outside the gay community spends as much time concentrating on whether they're wearing a skirt or pants. That's why the gay community can produce better dancers–we concentrate on position and definition from the beginning rather than gender Identifiers. But, you can't change their education in one dance or in a weekend, so just don't do it. When there is an absolute need in the straight community for all students to dance, some students dance the opposite role. This is almost always two women, and the "gent" will wear distinctive clothing. This is not a choice (as in the gay community); this is a necessity. If you feel you must or bust dance as a same-sex couple for some reason, do so only in a square you know is very strong and only after you have asked permission of everyone in the square. And then only if you know for certain that the caller isn’t using your square as a pilot. (A pilot square is a square about which the caller makes written or mental notes about couples and couples' homes and which he uses intermittently to make adjustments for problems on the floor.) These rules are true also for opposite-sex couples dancing switched roles (called arky). SWITCHING ROLES DURING A TIP: Don't do it unless the entire square agrees that you can. Most people don't really enjoy your doing so, and most callers hate it. Again, if you absolutely must or bust, be certain you're not In the caller's pilot square. DEALING WITH CURIOSITY: If you are out of the closet, you won't have any problem in stating that Western Star Dancers is a gay club—if they indicate they don't know your dub. We've been around long enough that the oldies probably won't ask. If you feel uncomfortable saying 'gay' in mixed company, try Patty White's finesse: 'We're one of the San Francisco clubs, and I see you're a member of the [XYZ Squares]. Have you been dancing long?" She suggests practicing vacuous conversation as an aid to many other straight social situations. Once you're in the square and waiting for the tip to start, the other couples probably won't create much conversation. Do introduce yourself to all others in the square. After the introductions, people usually just pleasantly smile at each other hoping that all of you can get through the tip. What do you say when they ask when Is your club night? The truth. DANCE PROFICIENCY: Appraise your dance proficiency honestly. Everyone dreads getting stuck in a square with someone who thinks he/she can dance a program higher than he/she really can. It's no different than at your club—the strongest dancers usually gravitate towards the front of the hall. If you must or bust dance a higher program than where you are proficient, take a square of your friends with you. Convention Is a place to shine and dance with many people and to many callers. Dance your best program so that you feel proud and all those with whom you dance feel privileged. DRINKING: The gay community is more tolerant of drinking at conventions than the straight community. Don't drink or use drugs before or during the dance. VENDORS: Bring money and/or check book and/or credit cards. You'll see stuff you've never seen before. And, yes, the guys can buy crinolines and such, but you better be good at stretching the truth. If you need some advice, ask someone from Western Star who has had experience. REMEMBER: Square dancing is fun. You shouldn't do things that will cause you to be stressed nor should you do things which you believe might cause others to be stressed. Underlying everything is the idea of respecting the other person. Square dancing is a cooperative activity, not a competitive one. Your square is not a place for you to show off as an individual; rather, it's where each of the eight contributes to create something that not one could do alone. Remember that each person in your square has something to contribute and each deserves your acknowledgment that his/her contribution is valuable to you (however little it may see to you). When you happen to be in a square where all or some of the other dancers have less proficiency than you, just get through it gracefully. There is always another set when you can square up with different folks. SQUARING UP: Almost all straight dancers dance as "normal" couples, and they mostly square up that way. Get a partner before you head for the floor. (That's different from the way we do it.) It is considered bad etiquette to prearrange squares (even in the gay community), so, if you simply must dance with a particular couple, loiter around next to each

other on the floor before the tip starts. Move to the dancing area together and allow any other couple(s) to join you. When squares are forming, always join the closest, one; never pass an open square. And never ever leave a square once you're in it, either before or during a tip, except in the event of an emergency. If you don't want to dance when squares are forming, leave the room. The caller will try to fill all the squares, so the whole floor may be kept waiting for you. If you always square up with the same friends (especially in your own Club), you'll be considered unfriendly, not what Western Star wants to project. Spread your good dance ability around and "show off" for as many other dancers as possible. Every square appreciates a strong, competent dancer even if your strangers when the tip begins. You won't be strangers at the end. SOLO SECTION: At big straight dances, there is always a "singles corner" where unattached dancers can find partners. (This is also referred to as solo or half a pair and you will see people wearing little badges that say "solo" or are the shape of half a pear.) There are always extra ladies who really want to dance. Etiquette requires that solo men not sit out a tip when solo ladies are waiting to dance. Don't be deterred by a polite refusal of your offer, just ask someone else. There are many reasons which are not homophobic why the person did not want to or could not dance with you. For example, the person is really at the dance with a partner but just happens to be sitting in the solo section with a friend or the person has already been asked to dance and is waiting for the partner to pick them up. If you are nervous about this, just hang out by the solo section during the first tip and watch who is asked to dance. When they return, ask for them to be your partner for the next tip. If you arrange a partner before the beginning of the tip, it is best that you stay with the person and create a little idle conversation. Try these out: "Have you attended many Roundups?" "I've just started dancing, how long have you been dancing?" The weather is acceptable as conversation, as well as the drive up, where you live, and how nice the person looks. Just remember, this is not psychoanalysis and you may never dance with the person again. However, it is an absolute must that you escort the person back or wait to be escorted back to where you were before you squared up.