April Issue
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JUNIOR HIGH NEWSLETTER
The Beat SATURDAY SCHOOL PLANNED IN APRIL
APRIL 2009
BY AVERY COPLIN
MR. JOSEPHSON IS BECOMING A HOBO
TEACHERS SELL HIGH SUGAR ITEMS TO STUDENTS Pg. 4
Check out the new look of The Beat!
JUNIOR HIGH NEWSLETTER
The Beat
BREAKING NEWS! 3- News briefs
FEATURES
Mr. Josephson is leaving, he’s becoming a homeless person. Pg.4
5 - TEACHERS AND SUGAR Teachers caught selling candy.
8 -PHOTOS Some pretty awesome pics.
QUOTE OF THE MONTH “We can be gay together!!!!!”
-Ms. Coplin, talking about being happy, and NOTHING ELSE!
APRIL 2009
Next year the Bethel Regional High School will have a football team. The school had a very generous donation from a lady in Texas. She donated $5,683,154 for a new football field, football uniforms, and football accessories. The team’s name will be the Bethel Warriors, just like all the other teams. The warriors will play Barrow, a lot of 3A teams in Anchorage, and play Mat-Su Valley 3A teams also. Try outs will be held in the beginning of August 23rd, 2009. Football season will be from September till the begining of December. Regions will be in Bethel on Janurary 14th to January 16th.If the Warriors make it to State, State will be at the Sullivan Arena on Febuary 10th to Febuary 14th. So try out so that the Bethel Warriors will have a winning season and win state. - Charles Strickland
NEWS IN BRIEF Breaking news!
Mysterious Life Form Discovered In Honey Bucket Lake!
A mysterious life form was spotted last week by Gregory Carlson and several other less important witnesses. The creature, according to Carlson, was tall, 8 to 10 feet tall. Reports from other witnesses also acknowledged it bearing resemblance between a man and salmon. “At first I thought I must have eaten something funky last night,” says Carlson. “As soon as people started screaming and taking pictures, I knew that it was real.” A local scientist says this may be pao-strous, the missing link between man and fish. The Creature has since been reported escaping capture from fishers by squeezing through an ice fishing hole, and hasn’t been seen since.
Mr. Hagedorn Replaces Mrs. Waiserski As Jr. High Reading and Writing. Due to stress, hard work, and Charles Strickland, Mrs. Waiserski has had a mental breakdown. As a replacement, Mr. Hagedorn he’s now official 7th grade reading/writing teacher. “I was quite surprised when the job was offered to me,” Said Mr. Hagedorn. Due to Mr. Hagedorn taking Mrs. Waiserski’s job, ISS students will stay in prison, as punishment instead, until a new In School Suspension enforcer can be found. Mrs. Waiserski is currently in Bethel Springs Asylum, with a bed by the window.
Vending Machine Goes To Far, Resulting In Students Death!!!
The vending machine by the microwaves always felt under appreciated, never getting the thanks for the work it did, never getting a thank you, or even a job well done, which may have been the reason it stole money. But last week, the vending machine took it too far. One of the students just wanted a drink after NYO, something to refresh him. When the vending machine ate his $, that was the last straw in its career. He began slamming his body against it in frustration, in a attempt to get his money’s worth, not expecting retaliation. As if by magic (which is a poor explanation) or by some divine power (but since where in school, the law of separation of church and state prevents that), the vending machine unplugged itself, fell over, and crushed the life of our beloved Jesse Klejka. TB
COVER STORY HE HAD THE CHOICE between homelessness in Hawaii and teaching BRHS students. What did he choose? Homelessness or BRHS students? Read on the next page.
Mr. Josephson
Mr. Josephson is leaving BRHS. He is leaving and choosing homelessness in Hawaii over teaching BRHS students.
Not too long ago, Mr. Josephson had a choice to make. He had a choice between teaching BRHS students, or living as a homeless person in Hawaii. What did he choose? He chose to leave BRHS at the end of this year and go be homeless in Hawaii. The Beat recently spoke to him. THE BEAT: Why are you leaving? MR. JOSEPHSON: There’s this kid named Charles Strickland; you may know him. I just can’t handle him. I can’t risk teaching him next year in one of my high school classes. TB: Is he the only reason you are leaving BRHS? MR. J: For the most part, yes. He is constantly a disruption in class. Yelling out in class, cracking your mom jokes, and a few others things that would lower my self-esteem if I mentioned them… TB: We’ll stay out of your personal life. MR. J: Okay. TB: Thanks for your time. MR. J: You’re welcome. Mr. Josephson also told The Beat that he is going to live in a tent on a piece of property he owns in Hawaii. TB _________________________________________________________
HAVE AN EMPTY PASSPORT?
ISS STUDENTS START TO DISAPPEAR By Nate Sidell ISS students start to disappear; meanwhile, the school has an over abundance of meat. A strange disappearance of students sent to In-SchoolSuspension, or ISS, have suddenly vanished, leaving no trance what-so-ever. Mr. Hagedorn, the ISS person, says that he has no idea where the students are. “I would step out of the room for a minute and when I came back in, everyone was gone.” he replied, somewhat glad that he has no students to look after. The police say that they have no leads on where the students have gone. “It really is perplexing, this case,” the chief says. “It really does appear the students have disappeared into thin air.” Meanwhile, as police and teachers puzzle on what happened to the ISS students, the BRHS cafeteria started serving weird, but good-tasting food. Students say that they have no idea what the food is. “It tastes weird, like chicken almost,” says an anonymous student, “but it tastes really good.” The school lunch menu says “mystery meat” for it, so people have no idea what it is. The meat looked like a cross between beef and chicken. The cook refuses to comment on this topic. He does say though, that he has had an over-abundance of meat from a unknown supplier. What will the mystery meat turn out to be? Only time will tell. TB
Do you have an empty 3rd quarter passport?
Do you have a passport that is completely empty from the third quarter? If so, bring it to the office and they will give you a prize.
More NEWS!!!
Teachers and Sugar Mr. Husa, Mr. Cronk, and Mr. Cuvelier have been selling sugary items such as Red Bull, candy bars, and soda. By Ona Springie This year two anonymous students were rummaging through Mr. Cronk’s closet and made a shocking discovery. An anonymous source told the Beat that they got some high sugar candies and soda from Mr. Cuvelier and Mr. Husa during their homeroom classes. Sources say that they discovered 3000 bars of candy and soda while rummaging through Mr. Cronk’s closet. We recently learned that Mr. Cronk was selling candy and soda to the two of the teachers for some extra cash. They said that they were buying school books with the money which of course was false since investigators found over $1000 in cash lying around in a shoe box that said candy money. Later that day Detective Mick was at the scene. Mick says that all of the money was all used on Red Bull and Snickers. Lately around a 100 Red Bull energy drinks were sold to only junior high students. All of the rest were sold to high schoolers, staff and faculty. The reason we know this information is that we happened to find a list of all the buyers and now the district office has banned Snickers and Red Bull from all of the schools.
POLICE PHOTOS
Letters
Deer Newpaper Weee techers are complining about stuudents bad speling and grhamar.,.. Weee are sik and tird of corecting stuudents bad speling errres. Thay nevr du anythign to corct it. Wii hav to giv dem detention to get theem to gett chng I t. WE CNT tAK it anmore. Iff vay waunt tu git a gud jub lk teechin the well hav lern prper speling a=nd gud gramher. Iff thay wunt to bi aceptered intu suciety they guing tu hav smarticlal. And tu bcome smarticlal they guing tu hav to hav gud speling and gudest gramher. Wee ned 2 teech gud ejukaushun.COReC th SPLINg!!!!!!!!\ From, The Junior high reading and Writing TeecHers
PHOTO PAGE
It’s former president, George Bush! Wait, no- it’s Avery Coplin.
Dang- Mr. Hayes has been working out!
THE BEAT Is published by the junior high classes. Articles and comments are welcome. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF-MITCHELL FORBES EDITOR-NATE SIDELL CONTRIBUTORS- Jesse Klejka, Auna Springer, and Charles Strick land
JUNIOR HIGH NEWSPAPER CLUB- Avery Coplin, Mitchell Forbes, Jesse Klejka,Autumn Miller, Patrick Nagasiak, Nate Sidell, and Wyatt White.
The Beat SATURDAY SCHOOL PLANNED IN APRIL
APRIL 2009
BY AVERY COPLIN
MR. JOSEPHSON IS BECOMING A HOBO
TEACHERS SELL HIGH SUGAR ITEMS TO STUDENTS Pg. 4
Check out the new look of The Beat!
JUNIOR HIGH NEWSLETTER
The Beat
BREAKING NEWS! 3- News briefs
FEATURES
Mr. Josephson is leaving, he’s becoming a homeless person. Pg.4
5 - TEACHERS AND SUGAR Teachers caught selling candy.
8 -PHOTOS Some pretty awesome pics.
QUOTE OF THE MONTH “We can be gay together!!!!!”
-Ms. Coplin, talking about being happy, and NOTHING ELSE!
APRIL 2009
Next year the Bethel Regional High School will have a football team. The school had a very generous donation from a lady in Texas. She donated $5,683,154 for a new football field, football uniforms, and football accessories. The team’s name will be the Bethel Warriors, just like all the other teams. The warriors will play Barrow, a lot of 3A teams in Anchorage, and play Mat-Su Valley 3A teams also. Try outs will be held in the beginning of August 23rd, 2009. Football season will be from September till the begining of December. Regions will be in Bethel on Janurary 14th to January 16th.If the Warriors make it to State, State will be at the Sullivan Arena on Febuary 10th to Febuary 14th. So try out so that the Bethel Warriors will have a winning season and win state. - Charles Strickland
NEWS IN BRIEF Breaking news!
Mysterious Life Form Discovered In Honey Bucket Lake!
A mysterious life form was spotted last week by Gregory Carlson and several other less important witnesses. The creature, according to Carlson, was tall, 8 to 10 feet tall. Reports from other witnesses also acknowledged it bearing resemblance between a man and salmon. “At first I thought I must have eaten something funky last night,” says Carlson. “As soon as people started screaming and taking pictures, I knew that it was real.” A local scientist says this may be pao-strous, the missing link between man and fish. The Creature has since been reported escaping capture from fishers by squeezing through an ice fishing hole, and hasn’t been seen since.
Mr. Hagedorn Replaces Mrs. Waiserski As Jr. High Reading and Writing. Due to stress, hard work, and Charles Strickland, Mrs. Waiserski has had a mental breakdown. As a replacement, Mr. Hagedorn he’s now official 7th grade reading/writing teacher. “I was quite surprised when the job was offered to me,” Said Mr. Hagedorn. Due to Mr. Hagedorn taking Mrs. Waiserski’s job, ISS students will stay in prison, as punishment instead, until a new In School Suspension enforcer can be found. Mrs. Waiserski is currently in Bethel Springs Asylum, with a bed by the window.
Vending Machine Goes To Far, Resulting In Students Death!!!
The vending machine by the microwaves always felt under appreciated, never getting the thanks for the work it did, never getting a thank you, or even a job well done, which may have been the reason it stole money. But last week, the vending machine took it too far. One of the students just wanted a drink after NYO, something to refresh him. When the vending machine ate his $, that was the last straw in its career. He began slamming his body against it in frustration, in a attempt to get his money’s worth, not expecting retaliation. As if by magic (which is a poor explanation) or by some divine power (but since where in school, the law of separation of church and state prevents that), the vending machine unplugged itself, fell over, and crushed the life of our beloved Jesse Klejka. TB
COVER STORY HE HAD THE CHOICE between homelessness in Hawaii and teaching BRHS students. What did he choose? Homelessness or BRHS students? Read on the next page.
Mr. Josephson
Mr. Josephson is leaving BRHS. He is leaving and choosing homelessness in Hawaii over teaching BRHS students.
Not too long ago, Mr. Josephson had a choice to make. He had a choice between teaching BRHS students, or living as a homeless person in Hawaii. What did he choose? He chose to leave BRHS at the end of this year and go be homeless in Hawaii. The Beat recently spoke to him. THE BEAT: Why are you leaving? MR. JOSEPHSON: There’s this kid named Charles Strickland; you may know him. I just can’t handle him. I can’t risk teaching him next year in one of my high school classes. TB: Is he the only reason you are leaving BRHS? MR. J: For the most part, yes. He is constantly a disruption in class. Yelling out in class, cracking your mom jokes, and a few others things that would lower my self-esteem if I mentioned them… TB: We’ll stay out of your personal life. MR. J: Okay. TB: Thanks for your time. MR. J: You’re welcome. Mr. Josephson also told The Beat that he is going to live in a tent on a piece of property he owns in Hawaii. TB _________________________________________________________
HAVE AN EMPTY PASSPORT?
ISS STUDENTS START TO DISAPPEAR By Nate Sidell ISS students start to disappear; meanwhile, the school has an over abundance of meat. A strange disappearance of students sent to In-SchoolSuspension, or ISS, have suddenly vanished, leaving no trance what-so-ever. Mr. Hagedorn, the ISS person, says that he has no idea where the students are. “I would step out of the room for a minute and when I came back in, everyone was gone.” he replied, somewhat glad that he has no students to look after. The police say that they have no leads on where the students have gone. “It really is perplexing, this case,” the chief says. “It really does appear the students have disappeared into thin air.” Meanwhile, as police and teachers puzzle on what happened to the ISS students, the BRHS cafeteria started serving weird, but good-tasting food. Students say that they have no idea what the food is. “It tastes weird, like chicken almost,” says an anonymous student, “but it tastes really good.” The school lunch menu says “mystery meat” for it, so people have no idea what it is. The meat looked like a cross between beef and chicken. The cook refuses to comment on this topic. He does say though, that he has had an over-abundance of meat from a unknown supplier. What will the mystery meat turn out to be? Only time will tell. TB
Do you have an empty 3rd quarter passport?
Do you have a passport that is completely empty from the third quarter? If so, bring it to the office and they will give you a prize.
More NEWS!!!
Teachers and Sugar Mr. Husa, Mr. Cronk, and Mr. Cuvelier have been selling sugary items such as Red Bull, candy bars, and soda. By Ona Springie This year two anonymous students were rummaging through Mr. Cronk’s closet and made a shocking discovery. An anonymous source told the Beat that they got some high sugar candies and soda from Mr. Cuvelier and Mr. Husa during their homeroom classes. Sources say that they discovered 3000 bars of candy and soda while rummaging through Mr. Cronk’s closet. We recently learned that Mr. Cronk was selling candy and soda to the two of the teachers for some extra cash. They said that they were buying school books with the money which of course was false since investigators found over $1000 in cash lying around in a shoe box that said candy money. Later that day Detective Mick was at the scene. Mick says that all of the money was all used on Red Bull and Snickers. Lately around a 100 Red Bull energy drinks were sold to only junior high students. All of the rest were sold to high schoolers, staff and faculty. The reason we know this information is that we happened to find a list of all the buyers and now the district office has banned Snickers and Red Bull from all of the schools.
POLICE PHOTOS
Letters
Deer Newpaper Weee techers are complining about stuudents bad speling and grhamar.,.. Weee are sik and tird of corecting stuudents bad speling errres. Thay nevr du anythign to corct it. Wii hav to giv dem detention to get theem to gett chng I t. WE CNT tAK it anmore. Iff vay waunt tu git a gud jub lk teechin the well hav lern prper speling a=nd gud gramher. Iff thay wunt to bi aceptered intu suciety they guing tu hav smarticlal. And tu bcome smarticlal they guing tu hav to hav gud speling and gudest gramher. Wee ned 2 teech gud ejukaushun.COReC th SPLINg!!!!!!!!\ From, The Junior high reading and Writing TeecHers
PHOTO PAGE
It’s former president, George Bush! Wait, no- it’s Avery Coplin.
Dang- Mr. Hayes has been working out!
THE BEAT Is published by the junior high classes. Articles and comments are welcome. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF-MITCHELL FORBES EDITOR-NATE SIDELL CONTRIBUTORS- Jesse Klejka, Auna Springer, and Charles Strick land
JUNIOR HIGH NEWSPAPER CLUB- Avery Coplin, Mitchell Forbes, Jesse Klejka,Autumn Miller, Patrick Nagasiak, Nate Sidell, and Wyatt White.
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