April 2007

South Main Monthly Vol. 1 No. 4

South Main Speakers, District 56, Club 8609

April 2007

The mission of the Toastmasters club is to provide a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every member has the opportunity to develop communication and leadership skills, which in turn foster self-confidence and personal growth.

IN THIS ISSUE: *President's Corner *Anniversaries and Milestones Taichun Qin Renya Jacob Steve Graham Vivek Rajan Grace Hu Judy Yan Jazon Samillano *Calendar of Events Easter Holiday Division Q Spring Speech Contests *Features “Please Don’t Go Away Print” by Renay Jacob “From Beijing to Houston” by Wei Zhang “Best Ever Muffins” by Bob Hu *Ask the Master How do you write and deliver a humorous speech?

The South Main Monthly is a monthly publication of the South Main Speakers Toastmasters club. We meet every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. in 10305 South Main Street (Houston Chinese Church), Room 411. For more information, please visit our website at: http://groups.msn.com/southmainspeakers If you have any comments, contributions, or suggestions concerning this or future issues, please send them to [email protected]. Thank you for reading! -Vivian Li, Editor

President’s Corner Madness, contests and leadership! by Annie M. Ballatore, CTM "A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the King." I find this quotation from the poet Emily Dickinson quite appropriate as the South Main Speakers kick off a new month. Following our April Fools' Day tradition, we will show a little vernal madness and challenge our minds and imaginations with a Backward Meeting where the speech evaluations come before the prepared speeches. Just wait until you hear the table topics answers before you even know the question! Congratulations to all our club members who raised to the challenge and participated in the different area contests! They all did a superb job. On April 23rd, our Tall Tales winner, Vivian Li, will represent Area Q-50 at the Division Q contest. Let's all go and support Vivian as she spins her amazing tall tale! The Toastmasters year is quickly vanishing. With May fast approaching, it is time to think about the club elections. With this in mind, we will hold educational sessions on Leadership toward the end of April.

Anniversaries & Milestones

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Congratulations to Taichun Qin, who celebrates his first-year anniversary with South Main this month! Congratulations to Renay Jacob, ATMB, who celebrates his fourthyear anniversary with South Main! Congratulations to Steve Graham, CTM, who celebrates his second-year anniversary with South Main! Congratulations to Vivek Rajan, who celebrates his first-year anniversary with South Main! Happy birthday to Grace Hu, ATMB, Judy Yan, and Jazon Samillano!

April April 8: Easter Holiday Due to the Easter weekend, there will be no Toastmasters meeting. April 23: Division Q Spring Speech Contests Come support South Main’s speech contestants at the Division Q Spring Speech Contests. It will be at 7 p.m. at the Houston Department of Health and Human Services, First Floor Auditorium. 8000 North Stadium Drive and Old Spanish Trail Houston, TX 77054

Kudos to Area Q50 Spring Contests Contestants Congratulations to Michael Plaks, and Vivian Li for representing South Main Speakers at the Area Q50 speech contests on March 31. Michael won second place for the International Speech Contest and Vivian won first place for the Tall Tales Contest. Way to go!

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Please Don’t Go Away Print by Renay Jacob, ATMB

Every morning I wake up in my Houston townhome, I make a large cup of coffee, eat sweet bread, and catch up on the news. I’ve become accustomed to going to my front door and picking up a fresh copy of The Wall Street Journal. I actually get it for free because I convinced my boss that I needed it for my MBA classes, and my company pays for it. Sadly, in recent weeks, I haven’t been able to read the newspaper thoroughly because of the time I spend on the aforementioned MBA classes. Instead, I pry myself from whatever I’m doing at work and peek at a few of my go-to news sites: CNN and The New York Times. They're easy to navigate, with the news I want: World events, media developments, a story about a cat nursing a litter of orphaned puppies.

Until I fell into my online habit, I would go outside to my front door and look forward to reading the headlines. I'd get a small thrill as I approached the paper. What did the headline writers cook up late last night? Then Pow! "Lust in Space!" for the astronaut love triangle story. A few years ago when First Daughter Jenna Bush was caught underage drinking? "Jenna and Tonic." I miss the tabloid newspapers from my living in New York; The Wall Street Journal isn’t as sensational. Sporting my newspaper in public, I'll ride the airplane or sit in a restaurant. And I'll get a thrill when, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone notice my headline or the reputable title of the newspaper and smile. It's more than a moment. It's a bond. (I don't get out much.) Please don't go away, print. Toastmaster, Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal I’ll meet up with you soon enough. I appreciate the efforts of your flashy digital cousin, but aren't we glued to our computers enough? Without you, print, I'll have no headlines to share — and that'll be really lonely. ************

But something's missing. Not the ink-stained hands — no fondness for that. Not the inserts that cascade across my floor and under the couch either. The Headlines! The big, brash, screaming and often hilarious and heart-stopping headlines that come in print newspapers just don't pack the same punch online. The words are there, sure. But they come on gradually as they "load," and once they're there, they're cluttered by all sorts of features and tabs and search options.

From Beijing to Houston by Wei Zhang

It has been almost one year now since I came to Houston. Before that, I have been living in Beijing for more than ten years.

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Compared with Beijing, Houston is a rather young city, a city with a different style, a city bringing me new experiences and changes to my life. Living: When I first came to Houston, the most satisfying thing for me is the low rent. It is not so difficult to live in Houston. The low price in renting or even purchasing a house might be a reason why many people move to Houston, while Beijing now has become one of the cities with the highest house renting price in China.

Chinatown, I can still try foods from different places of China just like in Beijing. Although life is changing much more than before, it is enjoyable both in Houston and Beijing. One year ago, during leisure time, I used to sit in an ancient house near the riverside, drinking jasmine tea. Now I usually sit in a bakery with a cup of coffee in Rice Village ☺. These two different cities have the same attractive sunshine and clear blue sky. A friend told me before, “With peace in the heart, any place is your destination.”

Shopping: Similar to other big cities, there are many shopping malls both in Houston and Beijing. However, they have different manners in procedures. In Beijing, the holiday season is a big chance for the seller. Almost all of the shopping centers will elongate their hours during holidays or on the weekends. Some even stay open overnight. However, in Houston, most of the shopping centers will close early on weekends or even close during holidays. Driving: In Houston, without a car means without legs. Sometimes riding the Metrobus will cost several hours or even more. Although cars are more and more popular in Beijing, I still consider bicycle as the best choice while living in Beijing. There are many small alleys in Beijing (called hutong). The real Beijing stories are hidden in these narrow alleys—a traditional family, a craftsman, or antiques. You might miss the mystery of this city when sitting in a car. Dining: At least there is one common point between Beijing and Houston. They both have many types of food from various places. I can enjoy Italian or Vietnamese restaurants in Beijing and also Mexican, Turkish or Indian food in Houston. In

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Best Ever Muffins by Bob Hu, ATMB INGREDIENTS • • • • • • •

2 cups all-purpose flour 3 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup white sugar 1 egg 1 cup milk 1/4 cup vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C). 2. Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar in a large bowl. Make a well in the center. In a small bowl or 2 cup measuring cup, South Main Monthly

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beat egg with a fork. Stir in milk and oil. Pour all at once into the well in the flour mixture. Mix quickly and lightly with a fork until moistened, but do not beat. The batter will be lumpy. Pour the batter into paper lined muffin pan cups. 3. Variations: Blueberry Muffins: Add 1 cup fresh blueberries. Raisin Muffins: Add 1 cup finely chopped raisins. Date Muffins: Add 1 cup finely chopped dates. Cheese Muffins: Fold in 1 cup grated sharp yellow cheese. Bacon Muffins: Fold 1/4 cup crisp cooked bacon, broken into bits. 4. Bake for 25 minutes, or until golden. PREP TIME: 10 minutes COOK TIME: 25 minutes READY IN: 35 minutes YIELD: 1 dozen best ever muffins

Ask the Master Dear Master, In the spirit of April Fools’ Day and rumors that the fall contest will be Humorous Speech Contest, can you give any pointers on how to write and deliver a good humorous speech? —Funny Bone

Dear Funny Bone, The following are ten tried-and-true tips on how to find that funny bone in you. I also threw in an extra golden rule at the end just for luck: Do the Opposite When you’re developing the topic of your humorous speech, you might try "doing the opposite" of your first instinct. Give your speech an unpredictable twist. Want to give a speech on gun control? How about advocating that everyone have guns—even family pets? How about making an impassioned speech about eliminating taxes for the very rich? Or perhaps take the position that we should all watch more television. ************ Humor will come out of the absurdity of your position. Presenting the position that’s the opposite of what you mean gets the

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audience engaged, and gives them something they didn’t expect. Surprise, after all, is one of the fundamental tenets of humor. Play It Straight A key aspect to giving a humorous speech is for the speaker to not be in on the joke. Think about times when you’ve heard a joke delivered by someone who laughs at their own joke. Just doesn’t seem as funny, does it? It’s the same with a humorous speech. The humor is for your audience, not you. Play it straight. Stick to the Game Plan The most important thing about not getting the results you expect is to not get derailed. Stick to the game plan. Simply move on. (Or as they said in a recent ad campaign: "Never let them see you sweat.") And under no circumstances should you resent the audience for not responding the way you feel they should. Many a performer has made the mistake of commenting on how uptight an audience is, or how they just don’t "get it." Instead of getting defensive, just keep moving. If you’ve done the proper preparation, you’ll have a number of opportunities for the audience to come around. A clever way to safeguard against jokes falling flat is to not have any jokes in your speech. That’s right. Be Bill Cosby, not Rodney Dangerfield. The difference? Dangerfield’s style uses one or two liners. Set-up, punchline, set-up, punchline. Every joke has to be a winner. Too much pressure, if you ask me.

that do not rely on "jokes" per se. It takes the pressure off. There’s actually a popular theory in comedy circles, especially among sketch, play and sitcom writers, which puts forth that a joke should never be able to stand on its own as a joke. It should come so organically from the concept being delivered that it won’t hold up on its own. Personally, I wouldn’t dare give a humorous speech if I wasn’t sure I had a couple of sure-fire jokes sprinkled throughout, but it’s something to consider. Don’t Step on the Laughter Here’s a tricky one. Let’s assume all is going according to plan. The audience is with you. You throw out a line: "My car is a convertible. I call it that because when I turn the key, it converts into a piece of junk." The audience responds. There is a delicate balance struck between a humorous speaker and the audience. If you speak during the laughter, one of two things will happen: 1) your next comment won’t be heard, or 2) the laughter will abruptly halt so you can be heard. (From there on out your audience is likely to be inhibited—they won’t want to miss anything, so they’re less likely to let loose with laughter again.) So, here’s a good rule of thumb. Say the duration of an audience’s response is a period of time measured from one to ten, with three or four typically being the peak of the laughter. You can avoid "stepping on the laugh" by waiting until about eight to begin speaking again. You don’t want to wait until 10, as that’s nearly silence—and that’s too late because you’ll lose your momentum. The Rule of Three

But if you’ve ever seen Bill Cosby perform, he tells stories. Funny stories, but stories

It’s also important to remember the Rule of Three. That’s the age-old (and for good

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reason) guideline passed down through the generations from humorist to humorist— namely that three jokes on a given subject is fine, but no more. The next time you observe a speaker you admire, who makes you laugh and who seems to have the perfect sense of what to say and how, pay attention to how many jokes he or she gives to punctuate any particular point. That’s right. Three’s the limit. Incidentally, the Rule of Three also applies to how many examples you should give on any topic within your speech. If you put forth a concept, support it with three (or fewer) examples. Save Your Best Joke for Last There’s a temptation to throw out all your best material right away—to get the audience on your side. But it’s far more important to have a great closer. That final payoff is what the audience (and perhaps more importantly at a contest, the judges) will remember. Master the "Callback" A key comic device is the "callback." The callback is simply a reference to something that was presented earlier in the speech. Callbacks give a humorous speech a sense of cohesion, and rarely fail to bring a positive response from an audience—either because the callback is intrinsically funny, or at the very least because it’s something familiar. Find Friendly Faces During your speech, seek the support of fellow club members. The effect of being able to look out into an audience and find friendly faces can’t be overstated.

Watch the Clock As Toastmasters, we pride ourselves on being disciplined when it comes to time. However, humorous speeches, unlike other kinds of speeches, rely on a widely varying time aspect that can have a serious impact on your chances of winning a contest— audience response. If you do your job correctly, your speech will elicit gales of laughter. The problem? It’s impossible to know exactly how much time that laughter will add to your speech. In contests, going over the allotted time can result in disqualification. In most cases, this will mean you’ll want to build in some time for audience response. If you prepare a speech that runs seven minutes without breaks for audience response, you’re in trouble. (The typical time limit in Humorous Speech contests is 5-7 minutes.) Discover the Seed of Truth No matter how absurd or silly a topic you choose, the most memorable and resonant speeches—though funny and entertaining— also hold a seed of truth for the audience to take home with them. They have an underlying theme, or position that just plain sticks with audience members. The difference between a merely funny speech and a winning funny speech is that the winning speech provokes and inspires, and can stand a critically important test—a winning humorous speech would still be provocative and inspiring even if all the humor were removed. Just because it’s a humorous speech doesn’t mean it can or should be frivolous. Going for obvious or easy laughs isn’t enough. Seek out the message, the story only you can tell. Just

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think of humor as an "idea delivery device," nothing more. Go for the Gold So, what are you waiting for? There’s a funny person in you waiting to get out. The best piece of advice you can receive about good Humorous Speeches is this: Dive in. That’s right. Be fearless.

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