Am Sick Of My Life

(12) ‫السلم عليكم ورحمة ال وبركاته‬ ‫الموضوع المرادي بالنجليزي علشان مانخليش حد نفسه في حاجة‬ ‫طبعا باين انه سؤال وتمت الجابة عليه من قبل داعية اسلمي‬

Am sick of my life

Question Alsalamo 3alykom gami3an. Actually , i don't know from where should i start but i will write what i feel ,what i can't do and what makes me sick of my life. i did every single bad thing u can imagine in this world starting from smoking ending with "akbar el ma3asi" at the same time i never hurt anyone b4 i always give

zakat el mal we kont ba2azen wana so3'ayar fel game3. I never lie we sometimes i pray. so i have two conflict directions here.... usually am on the bad side but always there is something insidemetelling ,that this is not where i suppose 2 be,but am so weak in a matter that i say it's okay i will neve rtry 2 look for this kind of mistakes unless they come 2 me and when they arrive i forget god i forget my agreement with him i just don't think about anything except what came. Nowdays,,, nothing makes me comfortable ,,,nothing makes happy or satisfied of my current situation am always depressed thinking that i am a bad person don't even deserve to live . i always feel that there is something missing ,i discovered that it might be that am far away from god, i decided to go further steps and try 2 pray but am sure 100%

when it comes the test i'll fail and what failure. I dreamed once b4 that god gave the ability 2 fly and get connected with "el3afarit wel

shayatin and 2become one of their friends that no one else can see me or her"shaytana" in that dream we were flying and there was abuilding guarded by a very old man with a white long bear ,so when we tried to go thru the door, he let me pass and he stops hercuz she was not allowed 2 enter . then he brought a big stick and tried 2 chase me everywhere and i was runing away from him till i reach a closed area at that time i waked up.and found "Azan el fagr" i went "atwada we saleit el fagr 7ader" and go back 2 sleep peacfully. Mr..... i have a deep faith in god and you to help me in my situation and give the advice of what 2 do. Thank u. alsalam 3alykom AHMAD

Answer In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah and peace and blessings be upon His messenger.

Dear brother AHMAD, Jazak Allah khayran for your email and for the confidence you place in our service. I ask Allah to help me be up to your precious trust. Dear AHMAD, I was deeply touched by your message. It dsecribes the feelings of a typical Muslim young man; those conflicting feelings that keeps him unable to take solid steps on the way of Allah. AHMAD, I want you to know that I understand very well the temptations the youth face. I was in your age and I understand your feelings. Don't think that I preach from a high pulpit; I'm totally aware of your problems and the dilemmas you face. Therefore, I want you to listen to me as a friend, not as a preacher. Dear AHMAD, Do you want to know the reason behind what you feel now? Believe me it is your sins. You should be aware that when Allah commands us to give up sins and to avoid them it is not because our sins will harm Him; rather, our sins will harm US! It was the habit of the righteous

ancestors to think about their sins whenever they were faced with hardship in anything. In fact, sins have many bad effects on the lives of the sinners. AHMAD, Sins leave the sinner in a state of depression, anxiety and unrest in this life, and blindness in the next life as a result of turning away from the remembrance of Allah. The Most High says,

'And whoever turns away from My remembrance shall have a wretched existence and We shall gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.'

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyah explains to us the effects of sins in his well-known book AlJawab Al-Kafi. Some of those effects are: 1-Prevention of knowledge: Knowledge is a light which Allah throws into the heart and disobedience extinguishes this light. ‫العصيان يطفئ هذا الضوء‬ Imam Ash-Shafi`i said: “I complained to Wakee ‫ معلم المام‬about the weakness of my memory, so he ordered me to abandon ‫ هجر‬disobedience and informed me that knowledge is light. He said that the light of Allah is not given to the disobedient.” 2-Prevention of sustenance ‫الرزق‬: Just as righteousness brings about sustenance, the abandonment of righteousness causes poverty. There is nothing which can bring

about sustenance like the abandonment of sins. 3-Prevention of obedience ‫( طاعة‬to Allah): If there was no other punishment for sin except that it prevents one from obeying Allah then this would be sufficient. 4-Sealing ‫ يختم‬of the heart: When disobedience increases, the servant’s heart becomes sealed so that he becomes of those who are heedless ‫غافل‬. The Exalted ‫المجيد‬ said: [But

no! A stain has been left on their hearts on account of what they used to earn (that is, their actions)] (Al-Mutaffifin 83: 14).‫كل بل ران على قلوبهم ما‬ ‫كانوا يكسبون‬ 5-Disobedience weakens the heart and the body: The fact that it weakens the heart is clear. Disobedience continues to weaken the heart until its life ceases completely. 6-Disobedience reduces one's lifespan and destroys any blessings: Just as righteousness increases one’s lifespan, sinning reduces it. Brother, Can you imagine how sins can affect your life negatively?! What I understood from your message is that you are living alone (correct me if I'm wrong). So, let's see how we can make you resist temptations.‫شهوات أو المغريات‬ Sameh, first of all, I want you to make tawba (repentence) to Allah from all your sins. Allah (swt) says in the Noble Qur'an:

O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful" (Al-Zumar, 53). Say:

‫قل يا عبادي الذين أسرفوا على أنفسهم ل تقنطوا من رحمة ال إن ال يغفر الذنوب جميعًا إنه هو الغفور الرحيم‬ Dear Brother, I understand your feelings very well. I know what it means to be sinful and guilty because we all pass through such moments; we all make mistakes. At the end of the day, we are human

beings; we are not angels! We make mistakes, but we should repent, and we should be sure that Allah's mercy is limitless. Al-Imam al-Shaf'i wrote a very touching poem from which I will tell two verses only:

‫فلما قسا قلبي وضاقت مذاهبي‬ ‫جعلت رجائي نحو عفوك سلما‬ ‫تعاظمني ذنبي فلما قرنته‬ ‫بعفوك ربي كان عفوك أعظما‬ Allah(swt) says in al-Hadith al-Qudsy:

، ‫ إن تابوا فأنا حبيبهم‬، ‫ أهل معصيتي ل أقنطهم من رحمتي‬،‫ أهل شكري أهل زيادتي‬، ‫أهل ذكري أهل مودتي‬ ‫وإن لم يتوبوا فأنا طبيبهم أبتليهم بالمصائب لطهرهم من الذنوب والمعايب‬

I want to remind you of another touching Hadith Qudsy:

ُ ْ‫ َومَن‬،ِ‫جدُ ضَاّلتَهِ بِالْفَلَة‬ ِ َ‫ح ِدكُ ْم ي‬ َ َ‫عبْدِ ِه مِنْ أ‬ َ ِ‫ح بِتَ ْوبَة‬ ُ ‫ وال لَُّ َأفْ َر‬،‫ث َي ْذكُ ُرنِي‬ ُ ْ‫حي‬ َ ُ‫ وََأنَا َمعَه‬،‫ع ْبدِي بِي‬ َ ّ‫ع ْندَ ظَن‬ ِ ‫َأنَا‬

‫ َأ ْقبَلْتُ إَِليْ ِه‬،‫ي َيمْشِي‬ ّ ‫ وَِإذَا َأ ْقبَلَ إَِل‬،ً‫ تَ َق ّربْتُ إَِليْ ِه بَاعا‬،ً‫ي ذِرَاعا‬ ّ ‫ َومَنْ تَ َقرّبَ إَِل‬،ً‫ تَقَ ّربْتُ ِإَليْهِ ذِرَاعا‬،ً‫شبْرا‬ ِ ّ‫تَقَرّبَ إِلَي‬ ُ‫أُ َهرْوِل‬ AHMAD, You should know that

Allah forgives all sins except polytheism (al

sherk). You can gain Allah's forgiveness only through repentance (tawba), and repentance has three conditions; you should: 1. Stop committing the sin. 2. Regret what you have done. 3. Take a firm decision not to do it again. Second, brother, I want you to avoid going to any place or being with anyone that urges you to commit sins. Find yourself a group of religious friends. Allah (swt) says in the chapter of al-Kahf:"And

withhold yourself with those who call on their Lord morning and evening desiring His goodwill, and let not your eyes pass from them, desiring the beauties of this world's life; and do not follow him whose heart We have made unmindful to Our remembrance, and he follows his low desires and his case is one in which due bounds are exceeded." ِ‫لّ فَأْوُوا إِلَى ا ْل َكهْف‬ َ ‫عتَزَ ْل ُتمُوهُمْ َومَا َيعْ ُبدُونَ إِل ا‬ ْ ‫َوِإذِ ا‬ ‫ح َمتِهِ َو ُيهَيّئْ َلكُ ْم مِنْ َأمْ ِركُ ْم مِرفَقًا‬ ْ َ‫َينْشُرْ َل ُكمْ َرّبكُ ْم مِنْ ر‬ Believe me those friends are the ones who are going to help you withstand any temptations. Third, occupy your time with useful activities in order not to give the satan the chance to whisper to you: practice sport, attend Qur'an lessons, spend time with religious friends,...etc.

And always remember that free time is a double-edged weapon. Dear AHMAD, I advise you to do the following:

1-Pray the five prayers in their allotted times. 2-Increase your remembrance (zikr) of Allah (check the "Zikr" lecture). 3-Increase your invocations "Do3a2" of ALLAH to support and Guide towards the righteous path (Check the Do3aa lecture). 4-You should have religious friends to support you in Allah's way. 5-Try to attend an Islamic lesson or a Quran lesson at least once a week. Brother, please keep me updated with your news. I will be WAITING for your emails. May Allah bless you and guide your way.