Advance Notes

Communication is essentially the transfer of ideas, messages or information from one person to another. It is effective when it gets the desired action or response. Basic communication skills are essential for continued success, whether personal or professional. At the very base one needs to understand the communication process. Since effective communication is essential for success, you have to make an all-out effort to improve your communication skills. To do so, job seekers and others those who have interest to enhance their communication skills can take the following course. 1. To communicate your response, you have to understand the point being made in the question. To understand, you have to listen carefully. Listening is the key to your understanding. 2. Plan and conceptualize your thoughts before giving a response. This requires your ability quickly and focuses on the core point. You may take a moment’s pause to compose your thoughts before answering, but think before you answer. 3. Sharpen your language skills. Use simple words and short sentences as far as possible. Strictly avoid long sentences, which can confuse and make you lose track of your talking points. Reading articles and books can help a candidate improve his language skill and participate effectively in the communication process. 4. Remove the fear of failure from the mind. Look at the silver lining of the cloud. One failure may be a learning point for success in the next interview. The world is not lost with one failure in an interview, as long as you are open to learning from the experience. So, take it easy. 5. Perceive rightly. Be rational and don’t rush into a judgment without analyzing the message. Try to perceive the message from the point of view of the sender. 6. Make it a habit to put down thoughts on a piece of paper, if you are not comfortable with mental conceptualization. Then, try to verbalize them. 7. Avoid needless communication. It takes away your valuable time and also tends to expose your inconsistency. Answer to the point with relevant information, and do not resort to long elaboration. 8. Be mindful about the body language of the receiver. Quite often, the interviewer’s body language conveys the signal about your effectiveness and correctness of answer. It will also tell you when to stop. If you don’t stop soon, you may be at a disadvantage.

Facilitating Communication In addition to removal of specific barriers to communication, the following general Guidelines may also facilitate communication. 1. Have a positive attitude about communication. Defensiveness interferes with Communication. 2. Work at improving communication skills. It takes knowledge and work. The communication model and discussion of barriers to communication provide the necessary knowledge. This increased awareness of the potential for improving communication is the first step to better communication. 3. Include communication as a skill to be evaluated along with all the other skills in each person's job description. Help other people improve their communication skills by helping them understand their communication problems. 4. Make communication goal oriented. Relational goals come first and pave the way for other goals. When the sender and receiver have a good relationship, they are much more likely to accomplish their communication goals. 5. Approach communication as a creative process rather than simply part of the chore of working with people. Experiment with communication alternatives. What works with one person may not work well with another person. Vary channels, listening techniques, and feedback techniques. 6. Accept the reality of miscommunication. The best communicators fail to have perfect Communication. They accept miscommunication and work to minimize its negative impacts. Communication is at the heart of many interpersonal problems faced by farm employers. Understanding the communication process and then working at improvement provide managers a recipe for becoming more effective communicators. Knowing the common barriers to communication is the first step to minimizing their impact. Managers can reflect on how they are doing and make use of the ideas presented in this paper. When taking stock of how well you are doing as a manager, first ask yourself and others how well you are doing as a communicator.

Communication has its own importance in all aspects of life. Communication becomes easy only when the information is shared in simple and plain terms. Many of us make several mistakes in communication. Such mistakes are always unnoticed by us and we never try to rectify those.

Here are the 10 common communication mistakes listed out. 1. Talking fast and rapidly: This is the most common mistake a person makes while communicating with others. A clear conversation is more clearly understandable. While talking too fast makes the listener impatience and confused. 2. Talking too much: The proverb “empty vessel makes more noise”, will be the best match for this mistake. Likewise people will evaluate you to be an empty vessel when you talk more. Usage of short verbal conversation is always appreciated and welcomed every where. 3. To follow up basic verbal etiquette: While conversing with others basic manners and etiquette has to be followed. The conversation will loose its values if it does not have mannered words in them. 4. Negative body language: Negative body postures and signs make the listener irritant and unease to listen or communicate with. So to make the communication more brilliant negative body languages should be avoided. 5. Mastery over listener: While having a conversation, avoid dominating your partner or listener. Give him/her the opportunity to share their opinion. Never go for a monologue way of conversation. 6. Interruption: For a good communication, avoid interrupting in the middle when one person is talking. When a person is talking try to listen and understand and then ask excuse for the interrupting and then tell your suggestions or comments. Otherwise wait for him/her to finish and then share your thoughts. 7. Contradicting talks: Never bring in contradiction during a conversation, especially when talking with the higher authorities or your own boss. This may cause unnecessary troubles and misunderstanding. 8. Poor contribution: There are few people who listen and take information from others, but never contribute their suggestions. This is also a big communication mistake, because the communication again turns to monologue patterns. 9. Undesired advices: There are people who give immediate advices for any problem told by others. So, the listener may again get restless and the communication is finally end. So, even while suggesting advices see that whether it is really required or not. 10. Loose talks: Avoid talking unnecessary matters. Talk only to the pertained topic. This saves time and energy for both conversing people.

Job markets increase, grades go up and new friends are made. You will benefit greatly from learning English simply because so many people speak the English language. New horizons and opportunities will expand before your eyes. Use the following tips to help you in your language learning process for your job. ● Have desire –Want to learn a new language. Learning English requires lot o f study and dedication. Only true desire will keep you motivated. ● Know your motive –Why do you want to learn English? Is it to help you in school, your business or something else? Identify your reason and remember it when you are having a hard time. ● Set goals –Set goals for yourself whether it be learning twenty words a week or giving a presentation in English at work next month. Goals will keep you motivated. ● Study a little each day –Studying formally for at least 30–60 minutes a day will help you retain what you learn. At the beginning of each study session, review what you learned in the lesson before. ● Make a set study schedule –Set aside a specific time for study each day. That way you are less likely to skip your lessons. ● Study out loud –Pronounce the words out loud to yourself as you study. You will remember them more easily and you will be able to practice your pronunciation at the same time. ● Use different learning methods –Language can be learned through different activities such as speaking, reading, writing, and associating pictures with words. Find out which method works best for you and use a variety of other methods for practice. ● Practice speaking –Practice the language you have learned as much as possible. ● Don't be afraid –Never be afraid to try speaking to other people even if you don’t know everything. They will appreciate your efforts. ● Surround Yourself –Surround yourself with English. Read it, listen to it, watch it and speak it with others.

The most commonly used tools for the selection process is the personal interview. An interview is a conversation with a purpose between two persons or groups of persons. They are done not only for the purpose of recruitment or selection for a post, but also to gather information from someone important. Even through it is a two-way traffic, it is mostly seen that the employed is the one who asks questions and the interviewee is supposed to reply. Different purposes of a personal interview are – to rate a candidate for his physical appearance, education achievement and qualification, level of intelligence, background, interests and aptitude, There are different types of interviews, like: 1. Informal Interview: This is the type of interview that is conducted in an informal setting. The interview can be held at the residence of the managing director for the post of a legal consultant. Similarly, many senior level job assignments are finalized during dinner at some hotel or restaurant. 2. Formal interview: This is the interview that is conducted most commonly for recruitment of personnel. In such interviews the candidate is called for an interview at a particular location and time. The candidate is required to answer questions asked, based on the outcome of which he is rated for selection. 3. Patterned Interview: To maintain a uniform approach there are few interviews where a set pattern of questions are asked. In such patterned interview the choice of person conducting the interview is restricted and the selection criteria are also limited within a set frame. 4. Depth Interview: In such a interview, questions are based upon a specific area of the interviewee’s interest. In a depth interview the person has to answer in detail. The academic competence and knowledge is tested thoroughly in such type of interviews. 5. Stress Interview: For the selection of supervisor and executive positions, it is of equal importance to judge the suitability of individual competence based on stress endurance along with knowledge and intelligence. Therefore a candidate is required to appear for the stress interview. In such and interview a person is required to respond to a tress situation and the assessment is done on the basis of the response. 6. Group Interview: When we are required to perform a task in a group the selection is done in a group interview and the candidate along with a group is asked to solve a particular problem. The performance and behavior is, however, assessed and rated individually.

7. Panel Interview: For a senior level position selection, a panel of experts selects the candidate. Personality and behavior traits are very important for performing well in interviews. Interviews, at times, become a hurdle between success and failure for persons just out of college. You have to present your competence for a particular job within a short period of fifteen to forty five minutes. The candidate is assessed for his behaviour, mannerism, attitude, IQ, stress enduring, capability, general awareness, knowledge of the subjects studied and mental frame of mind to take up the position for which he/she has applied. For a young student it is important that he prepares well for crossing this hurdle. He must be ready for the competitive written examinations as well as for the face to face interview Listed below are a few interview do nots and usual reasons for failure in interviews that every candidate should keep in mind: • The candidate should not lack self-confidence or appear shaky. •

The hello-effect of the candidate should be impressive to the interviewing board.

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Poor communication skills are an absolute put-off.

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Body language must not reflect negativity.

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The candidate must not lack the relevant subject knowledge.

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There is a difference between self confidence and over confidence. Even if the expectation level of the candidate is high, he should not exhibit arrogance.

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The candidate’s background and family history are important.

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The candidate must have reasonable amount of Knowledge about the company and the industry in which he has applied for employment.

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The candidate must not be improperly dressed or lack a sense of hygiene.

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If the interview board is harsh, the candidate must not lose his or her cool during the interview.

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The candidate must give a focused reply.

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Also, at time, the number of candidates is very large and board members are unable give sufficient time to each candidate for answering. Thus, answers should be as precise as possible.

10 Simple rules of Interview Rule I-Behave as you are: A person facing an interview is generally nervous and does not behave as his or her normal self. He tries to follow the set guidelines that he has been told and in the process becomes very stiff and unnatural. Do not act, be yourself. Rule II-Reach the interview site well before time: The early arrival at the interview venue will give you time to understand the office culture, the local etiquette and the expectation of the office and a chance to adapt to the particular environment. Reaching in advance also gives you the time to make yourself comfortable and more presentable by giving you time to freshen up. The settling time will help you to handle difficult situation properly. Rule III -Try to know the company: The interview board expects you to know what the company is doing and what the industry norms the company is in are. Prepare from all sources such as the internet, company brouchers and other sources, if any. Try to find out the company’s area of operation and expansion /diversification plans for which they are recruiting people. Rule IV-Be focused: The purpose of your appearing for the interview is that you are looking for a job. The questions asked by the board will at times derail your prepared answers and will take you to a different direction. Try to be focused about your strength areas and the requirements of the company concerned. Try to be as short and straight as possible while dealing with a controversial issue. Rule V-Behave as if you are already in the job: When a person applies for the job of a front desk manager, the interview board will like to see him in that pretext and would judge him keeping that person in the mould of a manager. If he starts feeling and behaving like a manager, half the work is done.

Rule VI-Be genuine and honest: Never lie to the board members. It is very easy for them to judge the truth or falsity of any statement or claim. Besides, everyone would like to reward your honesty. Rule VII-Never answer question about which you are not sure: If you are honest in staying that you do not know the answer, people will appreciate it more than if you guess something absurd. Rule VIII-Wish all members before and after the interview: It has been noticed that many candidates do not feel it necessary to wish the members and many others skip it due to nervousness. It does not give a good first impression of the candidate if he does not wish the board members. Rule IX-Mind your body language: It is extremely important to mind your body language in the interview as you meticulously plan the words you utter. Rule X-Anticipate the probable questions: When we are to appear for an interview we do have a clue as to what questions the board will ask. Say, a person has an education gap of two years mentioned in his CV. The board would like to know what the candidate was doing during that period. Similarly, a housewife applying for a teacher’s post will in all probability be asked about her routine for the day. Wellprepared answers for irritating questions will help you fare better in the interview.

Most people mistakes physical attributes of an individual as his/her personality. They talk about a marvelous personality when they may just he referring to an individual’s stature fair

complexion or chiseled features. Well, if you thought that personality has anything to do with height, good looks, complexion or the physique of a person. It is time you re-think what you think you know. Any physical shortcomings can hardly influence of his personality traits such as superior character and behavior, and not by other mundane and frivolous considerations. As per modern management concept, "personality is the BRAND IMAGE of an individual.” It is simple made up of three broad aspects namely: 1. Character 2. Behavioral traits 3. Attitude Personality development is the improvement of behavioral traits such as communication skills, interpersonal relationships, attitude towards life and restoring our ethics. Character is the prerequisite to achieving a better individual personality. There are several behavioral scientists who argue that improving behavioral traits in a short-cut course of fifteen days to develop personality can effectively influence others and help win the race. But we must never forget that excellent behavioral traits such as communication skills, interpersonal relationships, higher order of motivational levels and excellent leadership qualities also fail miserably at the time of crisis if not based on solid character foundation. Behavior is just the showcase of the larger inventory inside a person, i.e. character. If personality is developed on the solid based of values and ethics, it will last forever. Fake smiles and mannerisms are short-lived and do not help in improving one’s personality. Good behavior and co-operation makes a man popular. As a result the possibilities of his progress and success increasingly multiply. The feeling of help and gratitude towards others not only adds to human qualities in a person but also increases his characteristic qualities. Different people have different opinions about what makes a man’s personality complete. There are several behavioral scientist who have the view point that character does not form a part of personality, but Steven Covey, one of the all—time great authors and motivators says that the best of behavioral traits fail if they are not based on the solid foundation of character. The person who wants to improve his personality has to have desire and determination ; he has to identify the direction for his goals to achieve it. Once all the above three steps are taken he has to dedicate himself to the task of achieving his goal. We need to develop personality traits that are very unique. Blindly following someone else who is successful will never take you in the direction right for you.

Start Practising to do these points before you face an interview

● Listen to native speakers –Pay careful attention to native speakers using English. Observe the way they pronounce the words and how they use them. ● Pronunciation is key –Imitate native English sounds as closely as you can. The more closely you pronounce words like native speakers, the better you will be understood. ● Use good resources –Use dictionaries, workbooks, software and any other resource that will allow you to practice and expand your language. ● Use what you know –Even if you know relatively little English, you should use what you know. You will be surprised at how much you can communicate with a few words or phrases. ● Speed it up –Get used to listening to the language at normal speed. It will seem fast at first, but the more you know, the more it will sound normal. ● Don't get stuck –If you don’t know a certain word, work your way around it. Use different words and actions to explain it, but don’t give up. ● Have fun! –Learning a new language is fun and exciting. Recognize your progress and use your language for ultimate enjoyment.

Here are the keys to successful job interviewing. Follow these simple rules and you should achieve success in this important phase of job-hunting. Do's: • Arrive 10 minutes early. Being late to an interview is never excusable. • Clarify questions. Answer the interviewer's questions as specifically as possible. Relate your skills and background to the position requirements throughout the interview. • Give your qualifications. Focus on accomplishments that are most pertinent to the job. • Anticipate tough questions. Prepare to turn perceived weaknesses into strengths. • Ask questions. An interview should be a mutual exchange of information, not a one-sided conversation. • Listen. Concentrate not only on the interviewer's words, but also on the tone of voice and body language. Once you understand how the interviewer thinks, pattern your answers accordingly and you will be able to establish a better rapport. • Dress appropriately. Make your first impression a professional one. • Be professional. Smile, make eye contact and maintain good posture. These are simple but important things that are easy to forget to do during an interview. Don'ts: • Do not say "I have other offers but, yours pays a lot more and that's why I'm interested." • Do not say "I have demonstrated experience. Here, look at all of this..." Then proceed to hand over stacks of paper including old reports, references, marketing plans, misc papers etc. • Do not offer any documents unless asked. • Do not wear cologne/perfume or smoke that day. Pop a mint 1/2 hour before. Smells can put people off. Make sure you and your breath smell great! • Never bring a gun into an interview. Yes, someone came into my office one day and it fell right out of their briefcase onto the floor. Not good • Never walk around your interviewer's desk and show them something on their own computer. • When asked: Why did you leave your job? Do not say: "My old boss was a jerk and the company was going bankrupt." Come up with some better answers. Be creative, turn negatives into positives. • Turn your cell phone off. Never ever answer your cell phone during an interview and talk to the person calling! • Do not chew gum. Do not touch anything on the interviewer’s desk or try to peek at anything. • Do not preen your clothes, hair or fidget with a pen etc. Keep still and keep your hands/arms in an open confident position. Never cross your arms, stare or lean back like you're in a lazy boy.

Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand." –– Bruce Barton Be confident and smart with your answers. Think first and you will do great.

The topic that was under discussion would have been completely analysed and reviewed by both the speaker and the listener in case of a smooth communication. Both the speaker and the listener can be benefited through such a neat communication. This type of smooth ending conversation only is required for finding a solution to any sought of problem. If the conversation looses its temper, etiquette, and control over the words and language will end up in a hot arguments. Such controversial arguments can be avoided by following these simple and useful tips. 1. While beginning, the discussion make sure that you would never select any controversial topic. Avoid entering into such topics which may lead to some arguments. Generally avoid topics on marriage, divorce, politics, personal relationships etc. So, be away from such controversial topics. 2. Always have a track on the observer or your listener’s posture to make sure that they are comfort with the conversation. Make sure that they feel at ease during with the topics and matter of discussion. 3. Have control over your words and language. Never utter a word that is going to begin an argument. 4. Never allow any development of anger to the listener. If you find so, immediately change the topic. 5. Give time for the listener to pass his comments and opinions. Never show your power on the listener. Give him/her a chance to speak and share their comments also. 6. Have control over your volume and tone. Don’t raise your voice and add to the tension of the listener. 7. Avoid talking controversial topics over phone and email. 8. If the listener drives the topic to a controversial argument, be frank enough to say that you are not comfort with the topic and change the topic of discussion.

1. Build up your Creativity

You should have a new clear idea which opens new horizons for discussion on the GD topics. It is highly appreciated when you have creative thinking and speak anything which has new information. The examiner will keenly watch you in this perspective. So try to build up your creativity. 2. Bring out your ability to inspire others All the team members should participate and they should be given chance to express their own ideas. If some are not getting opportunity to give their ideas , give them an opportunity and you will be seen as positive trait. 3. Improve your Listening skill You should have a strong listening skill and it will help you to grab ideas of others. Listen to others and get more information. 4. Try to be initiative First impression is the best impression. So try to initiate and start the group discussion only if you are well versed with your topic. Without preparation don't enter in task. If you stammer or blubber it may create a false feeling upon you. 5. Take a role of Leadership Leadership role is not given to all. Your behavior is keenly noticed and there should be some skills to possess the leadership role. Leadership qualities requires -----directing the group in the proper way when it moves away from the topic ------should appreciates the different team members in the group discussion -----should inspires and also should motivates the team members to bring out their points. 6. Be very Assertive Express your points in the positive manner. It shows your emphatic, and positive manner. You can be very assertive person and it displays you positive body language. 7. Reasoning Ability Reasoning ability plays an important role while expressing your opinions or ideas at the group discussion. Try to build up your reasoning ability and it will show you how good you are in group discussion.

Active participation is very important and it will help your group to achieve a goal and improve your confidence level.

The first and the foremost thing which you have to remember is that you should think about what your are going to say or speak about. Speaking too much is always not recommended. So we should be aware of want we are going to speak in front of public. See to it that you don't give the other members and people around you the wrong impression by committing statements that are not clear. Make sure the you fulfill the tasks of any role that you have been given. If suppose you have been give a role of team leader or head to your group, it is important to make sure you carry it out to the best of your abilities. If you agree to specific role, don't think to change it and it would bring a negative thought about you. While the discussion if you don't understand any statement or question that has been made by someone else, please do ask them to clarify it to you. Without a clear idea you cannot proceed it and you may not feel comfortable to proceed it. Conflict is very dangerous in the group discussion and it should be avoided as much as possible. You should give respect to the other members also. It is very important to look at things from their perspective also. So please agree with their views also and avoid the conflict which arises during group discussion. If you are given to take the responsibility of a team and given a leader post you should first make sure that everyone in your team participates or not. You should consider everyone with equal importance and see that whether they are given equal amount to time to voice their views. If you see some members in partial and some are not fit to speak there arise conflicts. Here we can judge where the group will determine the success or failure through their attitude. If you don't agree with the statement, instead of saying "that doesn't make any sense," it would be better to say "I don't know if I agree. Could you elaborate?" When you use this statement, it will not be as offensive as the other statement. You should never ridicule the idea or statement of another member by calling it dumb or stupid. Instead, you could simply say you disagree with them, and offer an explanation of why your feel the way you do. To give another example, instead of using the statement "that is not what the assignment asked us to do" you could say that "I think it would be better if we refer back to the assignment." First see to it that if you want your group to be success it is very important to avoid conflict statements. Conflict statements will lead to problems between you and other members and it will cause less productive to you team. We can always see the disagreed statement which by using phrases such as " it may be better to......" or "have you ever though about doing it this way?” It should be easy to see the difference between these two phrases and the first one. Once the conflict has started it is very difficult to deal with. So please avoid conflict during group discussion. Everyone in this world are different and have their own idea and thoughts and differ from others. However, they should be respectful in how they deal with the differences. Using statements and questions which avoid conflict will allow you to be respected by the other members, and you can help the group successfully move forward. Respect the opinions of others, and never try to push your ideas on the other members. Remember, the purpose of having a group discussion is to solve problems, not create them.

TOPICS FOR G.D.

1. Indian cultural values have nothing to fear from globalization 2. The impact of economic reforms has been that rich people have become richer rich and poor people poorer. 3. Management education is only for the rich. 4. Reservation in parliament for women. 5. The US dollar is no longer a stable currency. 6. Impact of Internet in India. 7. Behind every man there is a woman. 8. Politicians are not interested in the future of our country. 9. Wisdom does not come with age. 10. Corruption is the main outcome of democracy. 11. Is the consumer really the King in India? 12. Globalization verses Nationalism. 13. Conditional access system for cable TV watchers: boon or bane? 14. If India is poorly governed, the reason is that we have designed our system of governance for protecting if not encouraging corruption. 15. Commercialization of health care: good or bad? 16. Should agricultural subsidies be stopped? 17. Do we lag behind China? 18. Who says MNCs are superior to Indian companies? 19. Food comes first, ethics later! 20. To survive in the civilized world one needs to be a hypocrite. 21. Money is the sixth sense without which one can't enjoy the other five. 22. English language as a mode of instruction in primary level. 23. Men and Women are different. 24. Given the present state of affairs, India will remain a developing country forever. 25. IIM's and IT's encourage only brain drain. 26. Whether reservation to women is beneficial? 27. There is no alternative to Pokhran nuclear test in present scenario. 28. Modern cinema is a boon to Indian society. 29. Should youth indulge in politics? 30. US war on Iraq-justified or not. 31. Role of UN in peacekeeping. 32. Position of Women in India compared to other nations. 33. Environment Management. 34. Is China better than India in software? 35. Should SONIA Gandhi be made the PM 36. BPOs in INDIA 37. Gov. contribution to IT 38. Will punch lines rule the Advertisements? 39. Premarital sex 40. India or west, which is the land of opportunities

41. Water resources should be nationalized 42. "BALANCE BETWEEN PROFESSIONALISM AND FAMILY" 43. Is it necessary to ban COCO COLA in India? 44. About Hockey being the primary game in India.

45. Cricket should be banned or not. 46. Present state of Indian Cricket team. 47. Love marriage/Arranged marriage. 48. Advantages of CO-education. 49. How to deal with international terrorism. 50. Is peace and non-violence outdated concepts? 51. A Unipolar World spells disaster for underdeveloped countries like India. 52. What shall we do about our ever-increasing Population? 53. Corruption is the price we pay for Democracy. 54. Foreign Television Channels are destroying our culture. 55. What India needs is a Dictatorship. 56. With media publishing and telecasting trivia, censorship is the need of the hour. 57. Kaun Banega Krorepati is less about knowledge but more about money and personality. 58. Beauty contests degrade womanhood 59. The rise of regional blocs threatens independent nations like India 60. Six billion and one bronze! 61. Is dependence on computers a good thing? 62. Should the public sector be privatized? 63. Is India a Soft Nation? 64. Value based politics is the need of the hour 65. Religion should not be mixed with politics 66. How to deal with high oil prices 67. Our cricketers are not to blame for match fixing 68. Why can't we be world players in industry as we are in software? 69. Multinational corporations: Are they devils in disguise? 70. Should there be limits on artistic freedom (the controversy on Fire). 71. Should there be private universities? 72. Do banning fashion shows and New Year parties save our culture? 73. Are Big Dams Necessary? 74. A Gandhian State selling liquor is an anomaly 75. Bride burning and dowry may look bad, but are an integral part of India. 76. The education system needs serious reforms 77. The impact of MTV on our psyche 78. Showing Violence and Crimes should not be allowed in films and on television. 79. Let us legalize gambling 80. The objective of Management is to maximize profits

81. Do professional managers have a chance in our family run businesses? 82. The Internet is an exercise in hype 83. Smaller businesses and start-ups have more scope for professional growth. 84. Dot com or doubt com?

85. The Wheel is Turning Round and Round 86. There is no right way to do a wrong thing 87. Group Task: How can we have Mount Everest in India? 88. Do Beauty and Brains Go Together? 89. Marriage is a social trap 90. Secularism has become a tool to justify the wrongs done by the minorities. 91. Media is a mixed blessing/How ethical is media? 92. To fight Aids, stop being coy about sex education. 93. What should India strive for- Westernization or modernization? 94. Developing countries need trade, not aid. 95. Flexibility of labor laws is the key to attracting more Foreign Direct Investment. 96. Voters, not, political parties are responsible for the criminalization of politics. 97. The voters are required to be well informed and educated about their candidates so that they can elect the right aspirant by their own assessment. 98. India should go for the presidential form of democracy. 99. In our economic matters, there is an excessive tendency towards the thinking rather than doing 100. Government should clean its own hands before pointing finger at the private sector for corruption.

1. Public sector is more a hindrance than help to promote socialism. 2. Economic betterment of the poorer nations is as important as disarmament to ensure lasting world peace. 3. From public sector to privatization as in the U.K., is the right answer for India's instant economic breakthrough. 4. The doctrine of "limited nuclear war" is an ill-convinced, ill- logical, irrational and extremely dangerous concept. 5. Some simple but effective electoral reforms will enable us to retain the present parliamentary system and ensure the preservation of democracy in India. 6. We must have only two national parties to contest parliamentary elections and regional parties should not be allowed to contest for the same. 7.We can increase our food production not only to match our population explosion but also for export provided we adopt modern, mechanized farming methods with large size land holdings. 8. Nuclear war cannot be won and should not be fought. 9. Private enterprise and not public sector will contribute to faster and higher economic growth in India. 10. Inflation is inevitable in our developing country. 11. The policy of reservation is a legacy of the British and it has done more harm than good. 12. Do you think MBAs are useful in the manufacturing / production department? 13. For a marketing post graduate, without prior work experience working in a big marketing firm is a disadvantage when compared with working in a small firm. Discuss. 14. Consumerism is destroying the social fabric of Indian culture. 15 Free markets is a prerequisite for growth.

16. Cricket as a national obsession is a detriment to other sports. 17. To develop India has to empower women. 18. Formulate the government's health policy to control the spread of AIDS.

19. Advertising is a waste of resources. 20. Privatization will lead to less corruption. 21. State is the biggest violator of human rights. 22. There can never be a classless society. 23. Beauty pageants are a marketing gimmick. 24. Voting rights to illiterates in India is illogical because it is widely misused. 25. Joint family is a blessing in disguise. 26. Higher education should be made possible only for those who can pay for it. 27. The weaker sex is the weakness of the stronger sex. 28. Women cannot successfully combine both career and home. 29. Women are good managers. 30. Executive should be allowed to form unions. 31. Effect of liberalization on poverty. 32. Indians perform better as individuals rather than in groups. 33. Business and ethics go hand in hand, or do they? 34. Developing countries should spend more on development than on defense. 35. Political parties have outlived their utility. 36. Is Swadeshi relevant for India today? 37. Money is required to earn more money. 38. Foreign trade is necessary for any country to survive. 39. Presidential Vs Parliamentary form of government of India. 40. Technology: The Ism' Of the New Millennium? 41. Religion And Politics Should Not Mix 42.TRIPS Controversy And The Patent Act Amendment 43.Export Stagnation: Causes And Cures 44.Excessive Depiction Of Sex And Violence In Films 45.Classical Music Heritage And The Growing Pop- Culture 46.Decentralisation & The Panchayati Raj Institutions 47.Should India Sign The CTBT 48.State Interventions In Market Kind Or Mixed Economy 49.Science Is A Boon Or Bane 50.Is Swapping Terrorists For Hostages An Encouragement For Plane- Hijackers? 51. India and the political dynasties: The Nehru Family context 52.Nice Guys Finish Last 53.All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy 54.Individual Freedom and Civil Society 55.Conventionalism And Modernity: The Ever going Debate 56.Should There Be a Restriction on Permissiveness Being propagated by The MTV Culture And Foreign Media? 57. Marxism And Its Future All Over The World 58.The Growing Menace Of Cartelism And Regionalism 59.Presidential Form Of Government Is Needed In India 60.Bullet For Bullet: Is It The Right Policy?

61.Capitation Fees Should Be Abolished 62.Arranged Marriages Are Better Than The Love-Marriages

63.Brain-Drain Has To Be Stopped 64.Business And Ethics Can't / Don't Go Together 65.Are women As good as Men Or Inferior? 66. Nothing Succeeds Like Success 67.The Malthusian Economic Prophecy Is No Longer Relevant 68.Secessionism In The North-East: Who's To Blame? 69. Should India Break Diplomatic Ties With Pakistan? 70. Age and Youth: Experience And Young Talent 71.`East Is East & West Is Where All The Action Is': Mark Twain 72.Freedom Of _Expression And The State Authority. 73.Capital Punishment Should Be Abolished 74.Tuitions Should Be Banned 75.India Needs Gujral Doctrine For Better International Relations 76.Doctors' Accountability To Improve Health-Care 77.Universal Disarmament Is A Must 78.Indian Cricket Team Shouldn't Be Allowed To Play Abroad

1. Plan - Put a plan ahead of time and prepare about what you should talk about and how to present it. Gather more points and jot down in a piece of paper. You should try to organize your thoughts and put the pieces together later on. You can surf the internet to gather more information.

2. Put the pieces together - Once you have jotted down as many thoughts as possible, it’s time to begin organizing those thoughts. Try to combine all the points that makes sense and keep ready to present it. 3. Say thoughts out loud - Try to bring out your oral though and think it out loud. This will help you to present good in the group discussion. 4. Practice in front of the mirror - Practice in front of the mirror as much as possible once you have jotted down in the paper. Relax first and then build up your confident level and try to mould yourself to present the topic well in the clear manner. 5. Speak clearly - The message or the information which ever you convey should be clear and should be understood by everyone. There should not be any blunder and you should feel that you have presented well and clearly. Giving a presentation can definitely be a nerve-racking thing to do. If you take the time to prepare your presentation well in advance and practice in front of the mirror, you will feel much more confidant stepping in front of a crowd. By practicing the above all you can face the group discussion without any fear.

Well known behavioral scientists and psychologists have identified many types of personalities. We shall concentrate on the nine types of personalities. These are perfectionists, Helpers, Romantics,

Achievers, Asserters, Questioners, Adventures, Observers and Peacemakers. They have their own unique personality traits that are briefly analyzed below.

The perfectionist: Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious and principled. They strived to live up to their high ideals. They can be got along well with if you take your share of the responsibilities so they do not end up with all the work. You need to acknowledge their achievements. It is better if you tell perfectionist that you value his\her advice. Perfectionists also expect others to be fair and considerate, as they are. A perfectionist would like to be self disciplined and be able to accomplish a great deal. He would like to work hard to make the world a better place, having high standards and ethics. They are reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything they do. Example: The great Indian software business leader Narayan Murthy falls in the category of a perfectionist.

The Helper: Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s need. That cab be got along well with if you tell then you appreciate them. They would expect you to share fun time with them. They would like you to take interest in their problems; through they will probably try to focus on yours. They want you to know that they are important and special to you. A helper likes to be able to relate easily to people and make their live better. They are generous, caring and warm. They are sensitive to and perspective others feelings. They are fun-loving and generally possess a good sense of humour. Example: Mother Teresa is one such personality who was sensitive not only to the needs of few people around, but for the millions of poor in the country.

The achiever: Achievers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal-oriented. An achiever gets along well with his coworkers. He welcomes honest, but not unduly critical or judgment harmonious and

peaceful. You cannot burden with negative emotions. He likes being optimistic, friendly and upbeat, and likes to provide will for his family. He is happy if he stays informed, knowing what’s going on. Achievers face problems when they have to put up with inefficiency and incompetence. They are gripped with the fear of failure or of not being seen as successful. They keep on struggling to hag on to their success. Example; Sachin Tendulker the greatest batsman, and Kapil Dev, the greatest all rounder, fall in the category of achiever- always full of energy to achieve something big.

The Romantic Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. A romantic would like to get plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to them. He expects you to be a supportive friend or partner. If you care for him you respect him for his special gifts of intuition and vision. He would like to establish warm connections with people, admire what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life; he would like to be creative, intuitive, and have a sense of humour. He is unique and is seen as unique by others. Example: The great Indian painter MF Hussain falls in the type of romantic personality. He has a sensitive and heart and romantic personality for his creativity.

The observer: Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted curious, analytical, and insightful. An observer likes to be independent, not clingy. He prefers to speak in a straightforward and brief manner. He desires and needs time alone to process his feelings and thought and may doubt your sincerity if you intensely welcome him. He dislikes intrusions in his privacy. He remains calm in a crisis. An observer faces a problem which he/she is not sure of the situation and is unable to understand the relation between cause and effect. He gets disturbed if his integrity is doubted. Example: The great economist Noble laureate Amartya Sen is one such observer personality, who is curious analytical insightful.

The Questioner: Questioners are responsible and trustworthy. They value loyalty to family, friends, groups and causes. Their personality rage broadly,

from reserved and times to outspoken. A questioner likes to be direct and clear. He likes others to listen to him carefully. You are required to reassume him that ‘everything is ok between us’ and not judge him for his anxiety. He is committed and faithful to family and friends, responsible and hardworking compassionate towards others, direct and assertive. Example: The out spoken Bollywood actress and former Rajya Sabha member Shabana Azmi, may fall in this category. She can raise relevant questions in all platforms.

The Adventurer: Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world. An adventurer likes to get companionship, affection and freedom. He likes engaging you in stimulation conversation and laughter and expects you to appreciate his grand visions and listen to his stories. He is optimistic and do not let life’s troubles get him down. He is spontaneous and free-spirited. Example: The energetic NRI businessman, Vijay Mallaya, may be categorized in the adventurer type of trying something new that was not done by any Indian earlier.

The Asserter: Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self- confident and protective. An asserter likes to stand up for you and is confident, strong and direct. He is vulnerable and shares his feelings and at the same time acknowledges your tender, vulnerable side. He likes to get space to be alone, He is curious to hear about his own contributions, but do not flatter him. He likes being independent and self-reliant, able to take charge and meet challenges head on. He is courageous, straightforward, honest, supporting empowering and protective of those close to him. Example: The former Chief Election Commissioner T.N. Seshan, the straightforward bold officer, is the best Indian example of an asserter.

The Peacemaker: Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

Every man who wants to develop his personality also wants to become popular. Man’s life is a burden without popularity. If we leave aside certain action, there is not much difference between a man and an animal. Everybody can be popular if he/you takes care of these few enlisted personality development tips1. If you want to progress in life than honestly analyze the traits of your character. 2. Do not laugh at people when they are in difficulty or trouble other wise you will loose your personality in a moment. 3. This is a great way to develop your personality by listening everyone politely, even if their ideas are baseless or not of your interest. 4. During conversation do not keep talking yourself too much. 5. When ever somebody brings any gift for you, don’t forget to praise it. It does not matter even if you were expecting something else. 6. Make other feel that you love them. 7. Keep your moral high in case of defeat and be more polite on being victorious. 8. Solve your problems in a creative way. Try your best not to let these spoil your relations with your friends. 9. Enlist your bad habits and try to get rid of them. 10. We should not uplift our standard of living but also help others to do so. Try to remove the feeling of inferiority in others by loving them and by keeping good behavior towards them. 11. Be careful of what your say about others because others will say the same thing about us at different times and at different places and in this way form a public opinion about us. 12. Some people often have a favorite sentence which they repeat frequently. We should try and get rid and get rid of such a habit. 13. Independence increases our good qualities and personality and slavery bad qualities. 14. Independent thinking and freedom to work is the only source of progress and welfare. 15. Love is the greatest magic in this world. You can do every thing with help of love. Develop this art to improve your personality. 16. Positive attitude is of great importance in our personality. No body like people who have narrowed out look. In life only that person is considered well behaved who has positive and healthy bend of mind. 17. The real beauty of man lies not in his physical appearance but in his work and good qualities. That is why it is important that we improve mental outlook to develop our personality. 18. Every individual should develop the ability to adjust with others, because basically man is a social animal, so one can not survive by living alone.

19. Some people keep repeating a particular statement and it becomes a part of their nature. At the most you may repeat a statement twice but it you do it more than that it leaves a bad impact.

Personality Development Overcoming negative thinking Courtesy India Express When you are angry, worried or afraid, your blood pressure and heart beat may increase dramatically and your activities are more likely to go into sperm and your pallets tend to clump together and clog up your blood vessels, says Dr, Dean Ornish. More you concentrate on your fear on worry, the more harm you do to your body. Maintaining a negative mental attitude has always been know to produce negative physical conditions. We know that the people who maintain a positive mental attitude rarely get sick. Negative thinking causes problems, positive thinking causes solution. Negative thinking provides a climate in which health problems can develop/ Positive thinking provides a climate in which good health can be attained and maintained. Negative thinking involves worry. Insecurity, fear, suspicion, hatred, antagonisms, anger despair, mourning, self-doubt, etc. While positive thinking spreads love, appreciation, optimism, security, courage, cooperation, compassion, generosity, friendliness, patience helpfulness and ambition., negative thinking is being out of step with people and things around you.. Positive thinking is being in step, in harmony with people and things around you. Negative thinning becomes habitual and the stress it causes becomes chronic. Chronic stress is a killer. When you hold negative attitudes for prolonged periods, chemical changes take place in your body. A stress chemical is released into the blood which inhibits the work of the immune system apparently by confusing and a awakening the system. In these circumstances, health problems start to build up. But positive feeling about yourself and the work you are doing leads you to be optimistic rather than pessimistic, contributing thereby to your health. This is better

for your health and ultimately, your survival. Do right and your health thrives. Do wrong and your health suffers. Life is not always so closely under our control but our minds are or should be under our control .

Personality development by Swami Vivekananda

Hi friends, recently I read this book Personality development by Swami Vivekananda and I find it very interesting and useful. Therefore, I am

going to post every Monday one chapter from this book(some excerpts). May be the introduction is toooooooo long (may be introduction needs two post), other than that all chapters are small and crispy. I hope you all enjoy.

What is personality? “Your personality is the type of person you are, which is shown by the way you behave, feel and think”. How a person behaves, feels and thinks, how he conducts himself in a given set of circumstances is largely determined by the state of his mind. Mere external appearance or a person’s speech or mannerisms are only fringes of one’s personality. They do not reflect the real personality. Personality development in the real sense refers to deeper levels of a person. Necessity to know our mind: We intend to do many things – make resolutions to cultivate good habits, to kick

certain bad habits, to study with concentration, to do something with a concentrated mind. Very often our mind rebels, forcing us to beat a retreat from our efforts at implementing our resolutions. A book is open before us, and our eyes are open. But the mind has started wandering, thinking about some past events or some future plans. The same thing happens when we sit for a few minutes trying to pray or think of a divine name or form. Says swami Vivekananda: “Free! We who cannot for a moment govern our own minds, nay, cannot hold our minds on a subject, focus it on a point to the exclusion of everything else for a moment! Yet we call ourselves free. Think of it! According to the Bhagavad Gita, the undisciplined mind acts as our enemy, whereas a trained mind acts as our friend. So we need to have a clear idea of the mechanism of our mind. Can we train it to obey us, to cooperate with us? How can it contribute to the development of our personality? The fourfold functions of the mind: Memory: The storehouse of memory and impressions of our past experiences presents various possibilities before the mind. This

storehouse called chitta. It is in this storehouse that the impressions of our thoughts and actions – good and bad – are stored. The sum total of these impressions determine our character. This chitta, again, is what is known as our subconscious mind. Deliberation and conceptualization: Not yet, sure, the mind examines the many options presented before it. It deliberates on several things. This faculty of the mind is called manas. Imagination and formation of concepts are also functions of the manas. Determination and Decision-making: Buddhi is the faculty responsible for decision-making. It has the capacity to judge the pros and cons of things and find what is more desirable. It is also the discriminative faculty in a person, which enables him to discriminate between the real and the unreal, between what is to be done and what is to be avoided, what is morally right and what is wrong. It is also the seat of will-power so essential for personality development and hence this aspect of the mind concerns us the most.

“I” consciousness: Appropriating to oneself all physical and mental activity eg, ‘ I eat’, ‘I see’, ‘I talk’, ‘I hear’, ‘I am confused’, etc, is called ahamkara or ‘I’ consciousness. As long as the ‘I’ identifies itself with the undisciplined bodymind complex, human life is dictated by events and circumstances of the world; we become happy with pleasurable events and miserable with adverse circumstances. More the mind gets refined and disciplined, more does one get to know the real source of ‘I’ consciousness. Correspondingly, a person becomes more balanced and equipoised in his daily life. Such a person is no longer swayed by any event or circumstances of life. More about the mind: ‘Our’, ‘I’ is represented by the master of the chariot; the body is the chariot and the buddhi the charioteer. The manas is sense organsears, skin, eyes, tongue and nose-which are the five windows in human being that give him or her the knowledge of the objects in the world. Important activity of the mind that concerns personality development is our emotions. More

the emotions are under control, healthier becomes one’s personality. Emotions can be broadly classified into two types. Viz attraction and repulsion. Love, admiration, aspiration, sympathy, joy, veneration, pride and the like indicate attraction. Hate, anger, fear, sorrow, jealousy, disgust, shame, etc., are the nature of repulsion. As long as one is entangled with the undisciplined mind, one’s personality does not really develop. Buddhi, the charioteer, serves as an effective instrument of self-development by controlling the emotions and raising the higher self from the hold of the lower mind. What is character?

Personality development by Swami Vivekananda

What is character? Every action and thought of ours leaves an impression in our mind. These impressions determine how we behave at a given moment, how we respond to a given situation. The sum total of all our impressions is what determines our character. The past has determined the present. Even so the present - our present thoughts and actions - will shape our future.

This is the key principle governing personality development.

What activates the body-mind system?

This question will help us to have better knowledge of ourselves. This question engaged the attention of ancient Indian seers and sages. They experimented with themselves - their sensory and mental apparatus – and after a disciplined quest they found out that there is a divine element in human beings, which is the mind of the mind, eyes of the eyes, ears of the ears and speech of the speech. It is this divinity which constitutes the real ‘I’ and the eternal element in our personality. This divinity survives physical dissolution of the body. This divinity remains latent in us as long as we identify ourselves with our body-mind and the sensory systems. The goal of life, according to the scriptures and the great ones, is to manifest this hidden divinity.

What was the central message of swami

Vivekananda? “My ideal indeed can be put into a few words and that is: to preach unto mankind their divinity, and how to make it manifest in every movement of life”.

“Each soul is potentially divine. The goal is to manifest this divinity within by controlling nature, external and internal”.

“A nation may conquer the waves, control the elements, develop the utilitarian problems of life seemingly to the utmost limits, and yet not realize that in the individual, the highest type of civilization is found in him who has learned to conquer self”.

“This universe is simply a gymnasium in which the soul is taking exercise; and after these exercise we become gods. So the value of everything is to be decided by how far it is a manifestation of God. Civilization is the manifestation of that divinity in man”.

This divinity in us is the repository of eternal existence, eternal knowledge and eternal bliss. The more it manifests, the more we experience abiding happiness and get supreme knowledge.

Strengthening of will-power, the essence of personality development: Physical dimension consisting of our body and senses.

Energy dimension which performs digestion of food, circulation of blood, respiration and other activities in the body. Mental dimension characterized by the activities of the mind, like thinking, feeling and emotions, etc.

Intellectual dimension characterized by determinative faculty in a person. This is also

the seat of decrimination and will power.

Blissful dimension experienced as bliss during deep sleep.

Development involves struggle with one’s lower mind characterized by desires, old habits, wrong tendencies, impulses and bad impressions. The lesser we identify with the lower mind, and the more we identify with the higher mind, and exercise our buddhi (discrimination), the more developed will our personality be. This involves struggle to grapple with one’s mind and its old habits, to cultivate new and wholesome ones. But this struggle is the greatest of all struggles in that it makes us civilized in the real sense of the term by manifesting our divinity and thereby our hidden perfection.

Some essential qualities for personality development: Faith in oneself: Faith in god came next only to

faith in oneself. If one believes that ones real nature is the spirit-not the body or the mindone would be a better individual with strong character. Think positive thoughts: positive, wholesome thoughts based on our inherent divinity are essential for a strong character. ‘Go on doing good, thinking holy thoughts continuously, that is the only way to suppress base impressions…. Character is repeated habits and repeated habits alone can reform character.’ Further, according to Swamiji, the only sin is to think of oneself and others as weak.

Attitude towards failures and Mistakes: Swamiji advocated uploading the ideal once again even if a person failed a thousand times. He appreciated committing mistakes and learning from them rather than leading an inert existence like a wall, which cannot even tell a lie.

Self-reliance: Man is the maker of his own

destiny. ‘We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves.’

Renunciation and service: Swamiji held selfless service as a paramount means to character development. This, coupled with renunciation of selfishness and desire for the fruits of action, was considered by Swamiji as the twin ideal of our nation. ‘Intensify her in those channels, and the rest will take care of itself.’ - - -

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‘Teach yourselves, teach every one his real nature, call upon the sleeping soul and see how it awakes. Power will come, glory will come, goodness will come, purity will come, and everything that is excellent will come when this sleeping soul is roused to self-conscious activity.’- Swamiji

It is personality that matters

Personality development by Swami

Vivekananda

It is personality that matters

What we want is to see the man who is harmoniously developed…great in heart, great in mind, [great in deed] … we want the man whose heart feels intensely the miseries and sorrows of the world…. And [we want] the man who not only can feel but can find the meaning of things, who delves deeply into the heart of nature and understanding. [We want] the man who will not even stop there,[but]who wants to work out [the feeling and meaning by actual deeds]. Such a combination of head, heart, and hand is what we want.

See what is happening around us. The world is one of influence. Part of our

energy is used up in the preservation of our own bodies. Beyond that, every particle of our energy is day and night being used in influencing other. Our bodies, our virtues, our intellect, and our spirituality, all these are continuously influencing others; and so conversely, we are being influenced by them. This is going on all around us. Now to take a concrete example. A man comes; you know he is very learned, his language is beautiful, and he speaks to you by the hour; but he does not make any impression. Another man comes, and he speaks a few words, not well arranged, ungrammatical perhaps; all the same, he makes an impression. Many of you seen that. So it is evident that words alone cannot always produce an impression. Words, even thoughts, contribute only one-third of the influence in making an impression, the man, two-thirds. What you call the personal magnetism of the manthat is what goes out and impresses you.

In our families there are the heads; some of them are successful, others are not. Why? We complain of others in our failures. The moment I am unsuccessful, I say, so-and-so is the cause of the failure. In failure, one does not like to confess one’s own faults and weaknesses. Each person tries to hold himself faultless and lay the blame upon somebody or something else, or even on bad luck. When heads of families fail, they should ask themselves, why it is that some persons manage a family so well and others do not. They you will find that the difference is owing to the man-his presence, his personality. The personality of a man is two-thirds, and his intellect, his words, are but one-third. It is the real man, the personality of the man, that runs through us. Our actions are but effects. Actions must come when the man is there; the effect is bound to follow the cause. The ideal of all education, all training,

should be this man-making. But, instead of that, we are always trying to polish up the outside. What use in polishing up the outside when there is no inside? The end and aim of all training is to make the man grow,. The man who influences, who throws his magic, as it were, upon his fellow-beings, is a dynamo of power, and when that man is ready, he can do anything and everything he likes; that personality put upon anything will make it work. Laws of personality development

Personality development by Swamy Vivekananda

Laws of personality development The science of yoga claims that it has discovered the laws which develop this personality, and by proper attention to those laws and methods, each one can grow and strengthen his personality. This is one of the great practical things, and this is the secret of

all education. This has a universal application. In the life of a householder, in the life of poor, the rich, the man of business, the spiritual man, in every one’s life, it is a great thing, the strengthening of this personality. There are laws, very fine. Which are behind the physical laws, as we know. That is to say, there are no such realities as a physical world, a mental world, a spiritual world. Whatever is, is one. Let us say, it is a sort of tapering existence; the thickest part is here, it tapers and becomes finer and finer. The finest is what we call spirit; the grossest, the body. And just as it is here in microcosm, it is exactly the same in macrocosm. The universe of ours is exactly like that; it is the gross external thickness, and it tapers into something finer and finer until it becomes God.

We also know that the greatest power is lodged in the fine, not the coarse. We see a man take up a huge weight, we see his muscles swell,. And all over his body we see signs of exertion, and we think the muscles are powerful things. But it is the thin thread like things, the nerves, which bring power to the muscles; the moment one of these threads is cut off from reaching the muscles, they are not able to work at all.

These tiny nerves bring the power from something still finer, and that again in its turn brings it from something finer still - thought, and so on. So it is the fine that is really the seat of power. Of course, we can the movements in the gross; but when fine movements take place, we cannot see them. When a gross thing moves, we catch it, and thus, we naturally identify movement with things which are gross. But all the power is really in the fine. We do not see any movement in the fine, perhaps, bcoz the movement is so intense that we cannot perceive it. But if by any science, any investigation, we are helped to get hold of these finer forces which are the cause of the ex-pression, the ex-pression itself will be under control. There is a little bubble coming from bottom of a lake; we don not see it coming all the time, we see it only when it bursts on the surface; so, we can perceive thoughts only after they develop a great deal, or after they become actions. We constantly complain that we have no control over our actions, over our thoughts. But how can we have it? If we can get control over the fine moments, If we can get hold of thought at the root, before it has become thought, before if become action, then

it would be possible for us to control the whole. If there is a method by which we can analyse, investigate, understand, and finally grapple with those finer powers, the finer causes, then alone is it possible to have control over ourselves, and the man who has control over his own mind assuredly will have control over every other mind. That is why purity and morality have been always the object of religion; a pure, moral man has control of himself. And all kinds are the same, different parts of one mind. He who knows one lump of clay has known all the clay in the universe. He who knows and controls his own mind knows the secret of every mind and has power over every mind. A good deal of our physical evil we can get rid of, if we have control over the fine parts; a good many worries we can throw off, if we have control over the fine movements; a good many failures can be averted, if we have control over these fine powers. Different layers of personality

Personality development by Swamy

Vivekananda Different layers of personality This GROSS PART OF THE MAN, this body, in which are the external instruments, is called in Sanskrit, Sthula Sharira, the gross body; behind it comes the series, beginning with the organs, the mind, the intellect, the egoism. These and the viral forces form a compound which is called the fine body, the Sukshma Sharira. These forces are composed of very fine elements, so fine that no amount of injury to this can destroy them; they survive all the shocks given to this body. The gross body we see is composed of gross material, and as such it is always being renewed and changing continuously. But the internal organs, the mind, the intellect, and the egoism are composed of the finest material, so fine that they will endure for aeons and aeons. They are so fine that they cannot be resisted by anything; they can get through any obstruction. The gross body is non-intelligent, so is the fine, being composed fine matter. Although one part is called the mind, another the intellect, and third the egoism, yet we see at a glance that no one of them can be “knower”. None of them

can be the perceiver, the witness, the one for whom action is made, and who is the seer of the action. All these movements in the mind, or the faculty of intellection, or egoism, must be for some one else. These being composed of fine matter cannot be self-effulgent. Their luminosity cannot be themselves. This manifestation of the table, for instance, cannot be due to any material thing. Therefore there must be some one behind them all, who is the real manifester, the real seer, the real enjoyer and He in Sanskrit is called the Atman, the Soul of man, the real Self of man. The body is dying every minute. The mind is constantly changing. The body is a combination, and so is the mind, and as such can never reach to a state beyond all change. But beyond this momentary sheathing of gross matter, beyond even finer covering of the mind is the Atman, the true Self of man, the permanent, the ever free. It is his freedom that is percolating through layers of thought and matter, and, in spite of the colourings of name and form, is ever asserting its unshackled existence. It is his deathlessness, his bliss, his peace, his divinity that shines out and makes itself felt in spite of the thickest layers of ignorance. He is the real man, the fearless one,

the deathless one, the free. Now freedom is possible when no external power can exert any influence, produce any change. Freedom is only possible to the being who is beyond all conditions, all laws, all bondages of cause and effect. In other words, the unchangeable alone can be free and, therefore, immortal. This Being, this Atman, this real Self of man, the free, the unchangeable is beyond all conditions, and as such, it has neither birth nor death. Every human personality may be compared to a glass globe. There is the same pure white light – an emission of the divine Being – in the centre of each, but the glass being of different colours and thickness, the rays assume diverse aspects in the transmission. The equality and beauty of each central flame is the same, and the apparent inequality is only in the imperfection of the temporal instrument of its ex-pression. As we rise higher and higher in the scale of being, the medium becomes more and more translucent. Man is Divine

Personality Development by

Vivekananda Man is Divine Children of IMMORTAL BLISS – what a sweet, what a hopeful name! The children of God, sharers of immortal bliss, holy and perfect beings. Ye Divinities on earth – sinners! It is a sin to call a man so; it is a standing libel on human nature. O lions, Shake of the delusion that you are sheep; you are souls immortal, spirits free, blest and eternal; ye are not matter, ye are not bodies; matter is your servant, not you the servant to matters. Even this world, this body and mind are superstitions; what infinite souls you are! And to be tricked by twinkling stars! It is a shameful condition. You are divinities; the twinkling stars owe their existence to you.

Everything that is strong, and good, and powerful in human nature is the outcome of that divinity, and though potential in many, there is no difference between man and man essentially, all being alike divine. There is, as it were, an infinite ocean behind, and you and I are so many waves, coming out of that infinite ocean; and each one of us is trying his best to manifest that infinite outside. So, potentially, each one of us has that infinite ocean of Existence, Knowledge, and Bliss as our birthright, our real nature; and the difference between us is caused by the greater or lesser power to manifest that divine. This infinite power of the spirit, brought to bear upon matter evolves material development, made to act upon thought evolves intellectuality; and made to act upon itself makes of

man a God. Manifest the divinity within you, and everything will be harmoniously arranged around it. Full moon day

Full moon day So bright and serene Lost my soul in the sight It is dreamy to see a full moon So comforting So calm So elegant So bright So cool Just the way the soul wants To rejuvenate the calmness To be lost in the peaceful

feeling Am I talking to moon? Am I getting lost in a different world? Yes, for the time being. Moon and I have something... Satisfaction To see a bright of all Through the moon’s eye Capture it! Store it for the future Till next full moon day! ---Meena Pleasure Is Not the Goal

Personality development by

Swami Vivekananda Pleasure Is Not the Goal Pleasure is not the goal of man, but knowledge. Pleasure and happiness comes to an end. It is a mistake to suppose that pleasure is the goal. The cause of all the miseries we have in the world is that men foolishly think pleasure to be the ideal to strive for. After a time man finds that it is not happiness, but knowledge, towards which he is going, and that both pleasure and pain are great teachers, and that he learns as much from evil as from good. Good and Evil have an equal share in moulding character, and in some instances misery is a greater teacher than happiness. In studying the great characters

the world has produced, I dare say, in the vast majority of cases, it would be found that it was misery that taught more than happiness, it was poverty that taught more than wealth, it was blows that brought out their inner fire more than praise. Sense-happiness is not the goal of humanity. Wisdom (Jnana) is the goal of all life. We find that man enjoys his intellect more than an animal enjoys its senses; and we see that man enjoys his spiritual nature even more than this rational nature. So the highest wisdom must be this spiritual knowledge. With this knowledge will come Bliss. All these things of this world are but the shadows, the manifestations in the third or fourth degree of the real knowledge and Bliss.

Only the fools rush after senseenjoyments. It is easy to live in the senses. It is easier to run in the old groove, eating and drinking; but what these modern philosophers want to tell you is to take these comfortable ideas and put the stamp of religion on them. Such a doctrine is dangerous. Death lies in the senses. Life on the plane of the spirit is the only life, life on any other plane is mere death; the whole of this life can be only described as a gymnasium. We must go beyond it to enjoy real life. Thanks to Chennai Corporation

Four months before in our camp

Chennai corporation opened a new children’s park. It is so pleasant that I go there every day in the evening just to sit on the concrete bench and watch the kids play. It is refreshing to see kids play without any worry. Even though they fight in between and cry but immediately, they get back to normal and start to play again.

Why can’t we remain kids…. just be kids and happy. Parents will take care of us, we don’t have to worry about anything…careless and happy…anyway there is study to worry about….:) Coming back to this kid’s park, we

are genuinely happy that Chennai Corporation is making available open corporation places as Kids Park and walking spaces for adults. We have a place for walking… which is actually good for many elderly people. Some of the parks have artificial waterfalls, lot of green plants, which is feast to the eyes and mind….mostly it is in the city only.

Anyway, we can do two things at one time, kids can play and we can walk. Mostly it is useful for kids and aged people. One of the good things that the corporation is doing for Chennai people, and they are maintaining the park well that is a surprise to Chennai citizens. A hearty Thanks to corporation officials who are doing this with care and special

thanks to political leaders, who didn’t stop this good thing. How to change our Character

Personality Development by Swami Vivekananda How to change our Characters

Every work that we do, every movement of the body, every thought that we think, leaves such an impression on the mind-stuff, and even when such impressions are not obvious on the surface, they are sufficiently strong to work beneath the surface, subconsciously.

What we are every moment is determined by the sum total of these impressions on the mind. What I am just at this moment is the effect of the sum total of all the impressions of my past life. This is really what is meant by character; each man’s character is determined by the sum total of these impressions. If good impressions prevail, the character becomes good; if bad, it becomes bad. If a man continuously hears bad words, thinks bad thoughts, does bad actions, his mind will be full of bad impressions; and they will influence his thought and work without his being conscious of the fact. In fact, these bad impressions are always working, and their

resultant must be evil, and that man will be a bad man; he cannot help it. The sum total of these impressions in him will create the strong motive power for doing bad actions. He will be like a machine in the hands of his impressions, and they will force him to do evil. Similarly, if a man thinks good thoughts and does good works, the sum total of these impressions will be good; and they, in a similar manner, will force him to do good even in spite of himself. When a man has done so much good work and thought so many good thoughts that there is an irresistible tendency in him to do good, in spite of himself and even if he wishes to do evil, his mind as the sum total of his tendencies, will

not allow him to do so; the tendencies will turn him back; he is completely under the influence of the good tendencies. When such is the case, a man’s good character is said to be established. If you really want to judge of the character of a man, look not at his great performances. Every fool may become a hero at one time or another. Watch a man do his most common actions; those are indeed the things which will tell you the real character of a great man. Great occasions rouse even the lowest of human beings to some kind of greatness, but he alone is the really great man whose character is great always, the same whatever he be.

All the actions that we see in the world, all the movements in human society, all the works that we have around us, are simply the display of thoughts, the manifestation of the will of man. Machines or instruments, cities, ships, or menof-war, all these are simply the manifestations of the will of man; and this is caused by character, and character is manufactured by Karma. As is karma, so is the manifestation of the will. The men of mighty will the worlds has produced have all been tremendous workers- gigantic soul, with wills powerful enough to overturn worlds, wills they got by persistent work, through ages, and

ages. We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care of what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live, they travel far. Each thought we think is tinged with our own character, so that for the pure and holy man, even his jests or abuse will have the twist of his own love and purity and do good. .......................................???

…………..Self-analyzing……………

What I am going to write now is a common thing to each and every one, trying to find our true selves once in a while, just trying to analyze our past and try to correct our present, and to think about our future. This is one of the hardest things, bcoz this self

analyzing thing is not just thoughts, this is the thought process which talks about actions whatever I had done in the past, my fear, my mistakes and my own thoughts, my good stuff…etc etc etc and the present and future too…. Whenever I am thinking about good things that I did, it always makes me feel good about me and I don’t think it is wrong! But this thought process of my disappointments and wrong doings. It makes me worry and ponder… analyzing our inner mind is very painful process, I do not know others accept this or not. But once in a while I do this, but this past few months, I stopped this self analyzing process. Because of that, I made some mistakes, which I can set right, but for that, I needed to go within my mind to feel the pain, anger, justification, and in the end the authentic truth. Could I come out fresh and could I make sure of myself, that I will not do that

mistake again and most importantly, will I have the courage and the ability to accept the truths and get better by them……….. It is easy to talk and write than to experience all the feelings. I am spending time taking care of family, reading books, time on net, reading, commenting, chatting, writing, helping ppl who really need my help and travelling too …etc etc etc. I am doing ALL, except for the quality time to myself, ALONE. I blissfully have forgotten this self-analyzing thing and I merrily avoided few things, but to be very honest, some things I had done It never meant to be, that has all happened without any thoughts that are all unconscious actions, some with my complete conscious mind, and some of my actions got twisted bcoz of that past unconscious actions. That is why, I needed to correct my actions.

Humans have one fear in life that is, analyzing about them. Occasionally to get to know the real persons inside our mind and heart, of course it is painful besides very blissful to know about the real us. It is like we are seeing every time a new person inside us it is not us but us, may be my talk looks like philosophical or stupid or blah blah..but honestly I know what I am feeling. Generally, We don’t change ourselves every time but our good and bad habits changes periodically, that’s what I am talking about….. then again our basic character stays with us.

To analyze our inner self, first we undergo, justification, whether it is good or bad, we try to justify our actions, this is the main battle, we try to blame or praise others for our actions, and we try to justify all

actions due to bcoz of others. Then the truth strikes then we undergo next process. Why we did this and that...etc this also leads to self-pity moods, we feel ugly, bad, and good. One of the good things about this is, we can truthfully analyze about our good things and bad things in this course of actions. Along with we can actually validate us, if we have the power to think rightly after initial hiccups.

After this painful process only, we can go to the next mode of thoughts. How to come out of this and how can we think rightly and do right things… it is not always easy to do good things or not to hurt anyone, which is not even possible. Except we can avoid some things and sometimes we cannot, for that we cannot take responsibility, but for most of the actions we can take responsibility and we can do better

than this… that is the power of this self-analyzing process…freeing our sprit!

I am writing this not to prove anything, I am writing this because it feels so good to share and I already shared lot of things… this is a normal human thought process. I do not know whether I make any sense or not…but I don’t mind sharing my thoughts. New generation…Never say a word unnecessarily…

They are thinking very independently even before the appropriate age.

I hope that is not bad at all. They know what they want in their life. They know how to get what they want. They know, what prompts them to grow… but what bothers me is …. Their full-fledged independent thoughts and the way they give reasons for their thoughts.

May be we are happy, that our new generation is managing well. Except for one thing, they lack the compassion that we have towards human beings. This is not a criticism and I am not even cynical or anything… just my concern

about this new generation behavioral changes…they are very sensitive at the same time they are isolated from the real humans touch…

Independent thoughts gives lot of freedom, freedom gives lot of confidence, confidence sometimes leads into over confidence…… there should be balance between confidence and over confidence.. That is not possible to young minds.

If they are too independent and over confident it destroys their survival instincts, even a moderate let down from their life also gets them into trouble. Independent in decision-making is an art and these kids lack the essence of that art. They can learn when their age progresses…. Until then they must have to accept our guidance.

Now they are not even ready to hear what elders are saying. Nevertheless, if they listen then they can make a good human being out of themselves, because these kids are really very sensitive and passionate about whatever they do. Hi Friends,

Hi friends, Just to clear some friend’s questions about my prose and poems……. Whatever I write, poems or prose they are all common things that are all happening or has happened to most of the people. I have a very big family and friends circle and lot of cousin bros and sis and we are all very close. Therefore, whenever I hear things from them and from my friends also I write about that in a diary or note it down in the pc (this pc… taken off my good habit…. my writing in the diary, I think I am getting very lazy..hehehe) but I always try to understand

human behavior, that is one of my fascination. Whenever I get time, I try to put them into prose or poem. I am always my kids’ first friend and I always share with them the same way they share with me.

Sometimes i write about my family and I specifically mention that also in the ‘P.S’, other than that not all are personal. I relate to people and, they relate to me, as well as there is always mutual trust between us. Some of them ready to talk to me, even unknown people. Personally, I always try to help others if it is possible. Whoever has been reading my post from the beginning know about that also. I always listen to people. I do not talk much I am not a talker, but if necessary, if the situation requires I talk. However, in net it is amazingly different.

So, please do not think whatever I am writing is allpersonal. This is one of the good medium, I like to get answers to my and others questions and I like others to know that we are all same apart from our differences of culture, language and tradition. Men or women it does not matter but somehow we all are same in some matters, I am writing that only. I observe people. So, do not take anything personally. Please, do not be offended and imagine anything.

Warm Regards,

Meena.

Random thoughts . . . ? . . . ? . . . ? . . .

Marina, the Second longest beach in the world and beautiful beach too. Government is doing all possible things to make this beach clean and beautiful. The problem is our common citizens, who never mind to litter the beach without worrying about anything.…. For them other places are nothing…. except their home, outside their home they can do anything they want.

One of the bad habit of our Indian peoples… they keep their home clean (I think this is also entirely not true…hygiene and Indians never go hand in hand), but they never bother

about public properties, they don’t even have any idea, government is spending our taxes to maintain the public properties.

This has nothing to do with education, I see young educated people and even rich peoples litter wherever they stand, this is not just a stupid musing…i am seeing all kind of people…. Is this education teaching them anything???

Coming back to marina, I have seen this beach all my life, in my school days, it looked better, clean and neat, but now the population is too high and beach going people are very high also, one of the main reason…this is the only place in Chennai you don’t need to worry about money.

Government is doing all kind of beautification work in and around the beach, they are spending crores sometimes, but our common citizens never bother about anything. They throw papers and bottles and all kind of garbage on the beach, even government provided designed garbage bins, funny all disappeared also, anyway, even if it is in place also, our citizens never worry or bother.

In addition, famous Indian style of red painting on Indian roads and walls and of course all possible places…spitting…I think government must take actions against this, ban all this pan and all tobacco materials, but they won’t do that (they banned, but who cares), the high revenue and of course political supports.

I travel in a garbage cart daily, yes..Suburban trains, I am not blaming railways it is about common commuters, they spit, they litter they make sure when they get down from the train, the train should look like garbage yard not even dustbin. Once or twice, I had fight with commuters for this, they blasted out at me this is not your father’s train….. hehehe…. of course, it is not J…. Southern railway is keeping the trains clean only I never ever blame railways. (I would like to write other bad things about railways some other time)

When are our people going to learn to keep the city clean, why don’t they think this is our land, and what ever the government is spending, is our tax money.

We blame the government for not doing anything, it is always easy to blame. There are so many things the government is doing in the civic amenities, but we do not use them properly and we neglect the hygienic part totally out. Hygiene is a quite rare in Indians, we have been getting worse than better.

Why… ….. are we not educating anything properly? Are we selfish? Do we know any value about public properties? Are we all getting uncivilized? We are ready to talk about things which government is not doing to us, but are we not ready to talk and protect the things that government is doing to us??? Too many questions ……

I am relived now after writing this post, I cannot stop anything, but I can muse about it na J)) like a typical Indian, who can talk but cant do anything in action …he he he..fair enuf….

illusion or real

If we say, something is not there Then there is nothing in there But if we constantly Hear there is something in there Then someday We come to believe

Something must be there Words and thoughts Always have some power If we continue to hear and talk about them Then the illusion, Looks real! It is fate That, we humans are weak To eliminate all in the first place But, we learn the difference In the end…! ---Meena. Thank you god for your kindness at last!

Losing someone is not that easy Seeing them suffering Seeing them cry All makes our heart tear apart We feel useless We feel desperate

Trying our hands on every possible way To keep them comfortable We know they are going to die But we care And we pray, For two things…. Let them live peacefully On the other hand, take them immediately Bcoz we can’t stand them suffer All sounds cruel... However, the reality is horrible Sleepless nights Angry words Painful cries God is unkind at times Finally God decided to hear our plea He took him Thank you god for your kindness at last!

My chithappa(my father’s first younger bro) died bcoz of liver cancer. We love him dearly, he is one of the most wonderful and kindest person in the world…

his last wish was, the whole family has to stay with him ….and we did that.. I am happy that we are all close nit family and we as well fulfilled his last wish that is the least we can do for him. All his brothers, sister and his two daughters and son, 20 to 25 of our family members stayed with him for 40days, last month 22nd he died. He suffered too much pain ..Constant killing pain…. Finally, god had mercy on him and took him. He requested me many times, Meena give me Morphine so I can pass away peacefully in my sleep and he was a retired head pharmacist in the government hospital. He told me few medicines that can put him into peaceful sleep…. in other words, mercy killing. I asked him only one question, tell me did you ever mercy kill anyone, he said no. then I said I cant also do that.....anyways, I told him jokingly that I am going to write a thriller novel after returning to my home about his elaborate medicine talking’s. Two days before he passed away, he asked me to hit him on the head. I asked him, why chithappa, he said so that I can pass away. I kissed him on the cheek and playfully asked my cousin bro, pl, bring an iron rod so I can hit him…. My uncle broke out into a laugh, we all laughed, that was his last laugh. Then I told him, we are praying for him that is the best we can do for him, he said ok, then I am taking back my words. That day, we all in fact had a goodtime including my uncle, I am happy that i made him very comfortable in talking about anything to me.

He does not want anyone to cry. He even cried sometimes and after that, he laughed and said I am like Shivaji the famous actor in Tamil movies.

Apart from writing about funny and sad things one question is bothering me a lot……. Why cannot government think about giving morphine or any other drug to chronic ill patients? They are suffering too much pain. In some way, I support mercy killing. May be I sound cruel but I saw three members of my family suffered from this chronic illness.

P.S. My two months absence is due to this only. My summer holiday started well but within one week all turned up side down. Well, I will read others post whenever I get time. Thank you friends for your kind enquiries, I am happy to come back to iland. Meena. Enlighten me...

I want to know the real reason - i want everyone to participate in this wanderings i have been thro for long so long -

1. why are we born here - wat reason 2. why education - school - college etc etc etc 3. why all the bragging about rich - poor 4. why should we FALL in love and get hurt - to know wat 5. why should we go for work 6. why should we earn 7. why should we get married 8. why do we have to be parents 9. why again all that we went thro our kids should go thro 10.why death - birth - nonsense around us all the time 11. why should we go to temple / church / mosque etc etc 12. why caste system

FREINDS THESE STUFFS COMES TO ME EVERY NOW AND THEN - AND WHEN I ASKED A FEW - THEY SAID LIFE IS ALL ABOUT EXPERIENCE - I ASKED THEM - EXPER FOR WHAT LOOK MY POINT IS - WE EXPER ALL THIS AND DIE - I WILL ACCEPT IF ALL THESE EXPER HELPS US IN OUR NEXT BIRTH ITS NOT GOING TO - AGAIN WE WILL BE BORN THE SAME MUFF AND START OVER ALL AGAIN - SO LETS START A HEALTHY DISCUSSION - NO FUN HERE FRIENDS - JUST PLAIN STRAIGHT STUFFS.. good luck to all who read this - pls think

P.S. This is my old friend Rock agade’s post. I am posting this with his permission… I am posting exactly the same post, not deleting or

editing anything....enjoy. This is his link rock agade

Dreams

Dreams Delightful dreams Playing inside the mind Just imprison the pleasant thoughts They are not settling in one place And So many memorable thoughts Elusive like the slippery eel Every time heart beats more rapidly When the thoughts draw closer

The faster the beat Every cell senses the excitement It is like electrifying shock Stimulating and thrilling Feel the tremors from head to toe Jolting the nerves Feel like singing Desire to dance Wish to hug The thrill continues Even if the dream ends Again, dream… dream … dream If the memories are good!!! ---Meena.

P.S. I think dream is the only thing in this world we can get freely without anyone’s interruption…or we can be disturbed by the calling bell….hehehe…. anyways, I dedicate this poem to my friends… Misty and Neethu . They are always telling me to write normal stuff or dreamy romantic poems.... so here it is. I hope it is good...if not please, don’t blame me girlsJ Killing with Love

A few years ago, I came to know about a strange and unusual "custom" that has been occurring in certain parts of Tamil Nadu. It is called "Murder" with Love or Mercy Killing - sorry its not even mercy killing...its a way adopted to bring about peace within families and the "victim". In villages and towns usually if any loved ones are taken ill for a long time with no cure, or slip in to a coma or are too old and weak - family members in an effort to end the pain and suffering both of the patient and themselves - take

care of them. It is not about taking care, but about how they can keep the patient comfortable and at the same time relieve them of their agony forever. They have adopted a nice loving custom, they call all the relatives of the patient, saying that the loved one does not wish to die bcoz they are expecting their favorite daughter or son or whichever relation to come and give them milk or water. Now I know this sounds weird, even I know this is absurd -if they are unconscious they can't even think, how come they are waiting for their loved ones to show up. No need for any logic here...It is simple msg…. Let them go in peace… They all come and give milk to the patient. At some point they die…The reason choking! The patient chokes bcoz they are weak they cannot swallow much,- the milk enters their lungs and they die, Sounds cruel but maybe for them and their loved ones the best and only way to ease their suffering.

Some of them are stronger and then instead of relatives they call their best friends too to come and give more milk - those who do this feel honored, because somehow they are special to the patient.

Don't take me wrong, I am not saying it is a good way to let anyone die. But this is a very rare custom in our society (may be in some TN villages and towns) .Since there is nothing these people can do by themselves - they would have told of their wish to someone in their family and the family is doing in its own way to take away the suffering. We all wish one thing in this world that is we do not want

to suffer, if we have to die then we want to die without suffering. It is the basic wish for anyone, but it is not possible for all.

So it appears the custom was born - a simple custom and if the person dies after being given milk by a particular person, then the relatives praise that person saying the patient loved the person so much that is why he waited all this time for the person to give him milk or water. Believe me friends, this statement makes them very proud of themselves they think they are most loved person by the dying person. Then it becomes the talk of the town , "this and that, that this person died after his loving son or daughter gave milk to him. They never let the person feel guilty…that bcoz of them only the person died.

Many may disagree - but to me it appears to be a good custom - the reason being the person does not have to have a prolonged suffering - now will the family have to be in suspense… Suffer, if they are unconscious or they cannot intake anything...What is the use of living. It is hell for them to live like that, that same applies to the person who is taking care of them. I always admire some of our Hindu customs and beliefs, it always holds some strong truth and sometimes some stupid too.

This is my opinion and sometimes I think that I am too cruel to support these customs, but to me I find it as practical. Some families may use this to their advantage customs wrongly, but I am talking about people who follow these customs so that their loved ones do not have a prolonged suffering…………… Every coin has two sides!

P.S. What ever I wrote here has occurred or is

occurring..i don’t know , I wrote what I heard.

Thanks, Moe anna for encouraging me to write about this custom, which I do not want to write on and special thanks for editing it too. Sex education is important??? Or early marriage will solve this problem???

Someone told me, “do u know what I tell my friends this change of sex perversions….it is all happening because of late marriage. In early days, the marriage keeps them not to do any illegal thing to some extent”. But, I told that person, it is all happening because of the mass media and also bcoz of lack of proper education about sex. I asked my hubby about this.. My hubby has some good points. He said it is not about late marriage, during early era small villages had certain custom and

systems in their community, and everybody knows everyone, they are afraid to do anything against their community rule and they din’t have the exposure like in the present world….. Now too much exposure to TV, movies and books… Sex education is important??? Or early marriage will solve this problem??? My personal opinion, sex education is important. Parents are not ready to talk about this to their kids, even I feel uncomfortable talking about these things to my kids. So through education it is possible. In view of the fact, that this mass media and some magazines really show nasty things…. Look at every TV channel and movies, the extra marital affairs is normal, sex is normal, changing partners…. even seeing this again and again makes kids rather even adults get comfortable with the situation, and makes them think that this is normal… I might be wrong. But, this world is changing in a faster way with wrong things…. I don’t think this early marriage will resolve anything. I don’t even know why I am writing this now…

this is a modern world...and …. Of course, now independence is important, individuality is important, freedom is important …but I want to think about this, bcoz this early marriage is still alive in India and sex perversion is spreading its roots and branches here… and I am wondering how we are going to save our future generation from this relapse…. Sex education??

company papers -(recommended for Wipro) Directions (1-5): Study the following information carefully and answer the questions given below: A, B, C, D, E, F and G are sitting around a circle facing at the centre. D is sitting between A and G. second to the right of G and E is second to the right of F. C is not an immediate neighbor of G. 1. Who is to the immediate left of E? 1) A 2) C 3) F 4) Data inadequate 5) None of these 2. Which of the following is not correct? 1) G is second to the right of A 2) B is second to the right of D 3) F is second to the left of E 4) E is second to the left of D 5) All are correct

3. In which of the following groups the third members is sitting between the first and the second me 1) EAD 2) DGB 3) GFB 4) DAG 5) None of these 4. Who is sitting between C and A? 1) E 2) D 3) F 4) G 5) None of these 5. Who is to the immediate right of G? 1) F 2) D 3) B 4) Data inadequate 5) None of these

6. A student scores 55% marks in 8 papers of 100 marks each. He scores 15% of his total marks in How much does he score in English? 1) 55 2) 66 3) 77 4) 44 5) None of these