Adagietto

Adagietto ....I have just changed my overcoat.' Gustave Malher after converting to Christianity. I have a coat which I cannot put off, Of fabric fine and many colors made And every time I touch its yellow stars Violins are strung to play fantastic tunes Under a Chagalian moon. It's then I weep. I would not have it so. It is but sambenito* and a burning shroud, The fires pointing down - and yet it burns. In ancient customs I do not believe And And endless disputations I resent; They being neither true nor relevant To being quick. They are but shades Of Byzantine argument. Menorahs melted and our synagogues destroyed Disturb my mind. I cannot put it off. The outside points And gentiles harshly whisper, each to each: 'There goes the Jew.' It matters not What is the state of my belief And my denials are meaningless, my cries Absurd, when slowly from the mire of belief The ancient and unaltered hate returns. ...* The sambenito was a garment worn by those by the Holy Inquisition in Spain. Carl Estrin