A Way To God For Today Prayer Guide

A way to God For Today A Video Program with Anthony de Mello, S.J.

Prayer Guide

CONTENTS

About this Program 1 Silence 2 Exercises for Silence 3 Peace Exercises for Peace 5 Joy Exercises for Joy 8 Life Exercises for Life 10 Freedom 11 Exercises for Freedom 12 Love Exercises for Love 14

ABOUT

THIS

4 6 9

13

PROGRAM

A Way to God for Today is a spiritual development program for adults and upper high school students. In each of the six half-hour programs Fr. Anthony de Mello describes important areas of spirituality. He describes many spiritual exercises that will help your group make progress in these areas. Each program concludes with a description of an exercise that should be done by everyone in your group immediately after the program. (For your reference a description of this exercise has been printed at the -2-

beginning of each section in this guide.) Allow ten minutes for this exercise. Following the exercise invite the members of your group to share their experiences of the exercise if they wish to. All sharing should be entirely voluntary; the participants should feel comfortable not to share if they wish not to. Because the group members may wish to share their reactions to the ideas in the programs, included in these prayer guides are summaries of the programs and discussion questions related to the content. Also included in this guide are reproducibles that restate each exercise described during the programs. Please make copies of each reproducible and give a copy to each group member after the program and prayer exercise. If you have time, allow the group members to do an additional exercise from the reproducible following that discussion.

SILENCE Summary Anyone who wants to find God must pass through silence. The three ways of gaining silence are (a) by understanding the limitations of our words and ideas, (b) by truly looking, listening, and hearing without preconceived images, ideas, or reactions, and (c) by meditatively reading the Scriptures. Illustrations and examples of each of these are given throughout the program. Silence Exercise Recall your favorite sentence of Jesus from the New Testament. Repeat it to yourself. Imagine Jesus is standing in front of you and is addressing those words to you. Don’t dwell too much on the meaning of the words. Resist the temptation to react. Don’t say anything and don’t respond in any way. Let the words reverberate in your heart and resound in your being. When you cannot contain it anymore, respond to Jesus. (Allow five to ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. Fr. de Mello said, “Any way to God has to be a way through silence. If you ever come to union with God, you must pass through silence.” Do you agree? Has Fr. de Mello interested you in silence? Have you ever practiced silence in the past? If so, how? How do Fr. de Mello’s ideas about silence differ from what -3-

you had previously thought of silence? How will you practice silence differently as a result of this program? 2. To illustrate what silence is, Fr. de Mello told a story about a king God is far beyond this and better than this."how to be united with God, visited a who,far wanting to know spiritual master. The master said the only way was through silence. The king asked, “How is silence gained?” The master responded, “By meditation.” The king asked, “What is meditation?” The master responded, “Silence.” What do you the point this What was master tolife. tell ensational. Just listen tothink thoseissounds as ifof you arestory? hearing them for the the first timetrying in your the king? 3. Fr. de Mello said that to gain silence you must understand that t dwell too much on theGod meaning the words. Resist the temptation to react. Don’tDo sayyou anything and don’t res is farof beyond all your words and all your thoughts. agree? If so, how should you come to know God? What are the ur heart and they will deepen your silence. They take on a meaning that is quite beyond the power of word limitations of words andmay ideas? 4. As a child, what images did you have of God? How have those images changed? What is your image of God now? Do you think this image helps your spiritual growth? Why or why not? 5. In the Second Lateran Council (1139) it was said that any image of God we have is more unlike God than like God. What do you think this means? 6. How does Scripture help you to know God, even though it cannot give you a picture of God? 7. Why is God indescribable? 8. Fr. de Mello said that the second thing you need in order to gain silence is to look and listen. What was his point? How can you do this? How do you need to look and listen differently than you do now? 9. In the East they say, “God created the world. God dances the world.” What do you think “God dances the world” means? How might it be possible that we see the dance but not the dancer? What is the difference? How are the dance and the dancer not one thing and yet not two? Hand out copies of the reproducible “Exercises for Silence.” (One copy for each participant should already have been made.) Have the group choose one additional exercise from the reproducible and have all the participants do it as a group. The participants may then take the reproducibles home with them as a resource for doing all the exercises during the week.

-4-

PEACE Summary Spiritual peace can be gained by (a) being aware of your body, (b) slowing down, (c) doing one thing at a time, (d) having an attitude of acceptance, and (e) developing a sense of perspective. Body-Awareness Exercise Close your eyes. Get in touch with your body. Get the feel of the clothes on your shoulders. What do they feel like? Get the feel of the clothes on your back. Get the feel of your thighs pressing against the chair. Get the feel of your hands as they touch something or rest on something. Get the feel of your feet touching your shoes or the floor. Repeat the exercise five or six times and then open your eyes. If you feel tension, get in touch with it. Become aware of its location and -5-

component parts and you will become relaxed. (Allow five to ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. In this program Fr. de Mello talked about spiritual peace. Have you experienced this kind of peace? If so, what were the circumstances? How has this program changed your ideas about peace? Do you think spiritual peace is important? Why or why not? How do you spread peace? 2. Fr. de Mello remarked that the kind of peace he described may not exclude fighting or conflict. How is this possible? What example can you think of in which peace and conflict were both present? 3. Fr. de Mello said the only thing peace excludes is a self-centered attitude. Do you agree? Why or why not? How does selfishness lead to the absence of peace? 4. What is the soft-heartedness described by Fr. de Mello? What acts of soft-heartedness can you think of? Did these acts promote peace? If so, how? 5. Can you say there is no rancor, no bitterness, and no hatred in your life? If not, where are these present? How can you do away with them? 6. Is there turmoil and conflict in your heart? Why? What can you do to lessen them? 7. Did you do the body-awareness exercise as described in the program? If so, did it make you feel relaxed? How? 8. Fr. de Mello asserted that his body-awareness exercise will help you come home to yourself. What is your reaction to that? Will you try it regularly? Do you think it can help you? Why or why not? 9. Fr. de Mello said it is an extraordinary thing to come to the present. Why is it extraordinary? Do you consider yourself present in the way that Fr. de Mello described it? Explain, using examples. 10.What is the value of slowing down? When is slowing down necessarily opposed to speed? 11.What is the value of doing one thing at a time? Do you do one thing at a time always, sometimes, or never? Explain. 12.How do you think the exercises in this book lead to union with God? 13.The awareness exercises will give you an attitude of acceptance. What was the last thing you peacefully accepted? Do you try to fight the things you cannot change? If so, how? What is the effect of this fighting? 14.Fr. de Mello said that the goal of the awareness exercises is to

-6-

attain the attitude of acceptance and yet to be intensely involved. Do you think you can achieve this attitude? To what important things in your life would you like to apply this attitude? your head and keep15.The movingRisen down Christ slowly said, until you reach tip you.” of yourWhat toes,is omitting no part of the surface of “Peace bethe with the peace that Jesus left with us? How will the exercises in this program ur body as a whole, teeming with sensations. help you gain that peace? 16.Which of the exercises described in this program did you find most interesting? Which will you try on a regular basis? What do o whatever awaits you in the future. you hope to gain from these exercises?

hings you are now most attached to. Say to yourself a few times slowly, "This too will pass away." Think of some

get in touch with your body. When you walk, be aware of the movement of your legs.

ou.

-7-

JOY

Summary The lack of joy among people today is partly due to wrong ideas and wrong attitudes. The wrong ideas are (a) that joy can be found in stimulants or intoxicants, (b) that joy is something that can be directly sought, and (c) that joy can be found in externals. Wrong attitudes are the attitudes of the sulking child and the clinging child. Exercises are described that will help people get rid of wrong ideas and wrong attitudes. Joy Exercise (The Koan) In a meditative environment ask yourself, “What would happen if I let my clinging, negative emotions go? What would happen if I let go of my guilt, my heartbreak, my jealousy, my resentment?” Stay with this question as long as you can and see what you will discover. (Allow five to ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. Is the topic of joy important for spiritual growth? What is joy? In what things do you find the most joy? Could you be happy without these things? Why or why not? 2. The Indian poet Kabir wrote, “I laughed when they told me the fish in the water is thirsty.” What does this mean to you? How does this relate to this program? 3. Fr. de Mello commented, “The whole of creation is shot through with joy.” What do you think he meant by this statement? 4. Why, in your opinion, does humanity often have so little joy? 5. Fr. de Mello said that humanity is often without joy because of wrong ideas and wrong attitudes. What ideas and attitudes cause you to be without joy? 6. For true joy, Fr. de Mello asserted, you must get rid of the notion that happiness comes from being on a high from outer stimulation or intoxication. Have these ways of “having fun” ever left you depressed? If so, recall an example. What do you think is missing from these activities? Where does true joy come from? 7. In the program it was said, “The thing to get intoxicated on is life. It’s a much quieter thing, but much more lasting.” How do you get intoxicated on life? Have you ever had such an experience? If so, what was it? 8. One of the wrong ideas described by Fr. de Mello during the program was the idea that we can chase after happiness. How has chasing after happiness disappointed you before? -8-

9. In the program Fr. de Mello asserted, “Happiness is the offshoot of something else.” What is that something else? What have you done that you realized later made you happy? 10.It has been said, “Happiness is really a memory. It is barely an experience.” What does this mean to you? Do you agree with it? If so, give examples. Do you think sadness might also really be a memory? 11.Happiness is not found in externals. What external things do you depend on now for happiness? What things do you wish for to make you more happy? Has this program changed your ideas about these things? If so, how? What is necessary internally for happiness? 12.Fr. de Mello told several stories of prisoners who were in miserable conditions and yet who were happy. Do you know of other true stories that are similar? What are they? What do these stories teach about joy and happiness? 13.What is the attitude of the sulking child? Examine yourself. Do you have this attitude about something that is making you unhappy? How can you get rid of this attitude? Will a sulking child ever be satisfied? 14.What one thing would you ask for to make you always happy? 15.In a story told during this program God advises a man to ask to be happy no matter what he gets in life. Do you think this is possible for you? What comes in the way of your having this grace? 16.What is the clinging child attitude? What are you clinging to? What negative emotion are you unable to let go of? Explore the possibility that you are unable because you are unwilling. What can you discover about yourself? 17.“There is no sweeter prayer on earth than a grateful heart.” How will the exercises described in this program lead you to a grateful heart? Can you think of other similar exercises with the same goal? 18.Do you consider the exercises described in this program to be prayer exercises? Why or why not? What did Fr. de Mello have to say about this?

-9-

, my jealousy, my resentment?" Stay with this question as long as you can and see what you will discover.

sensational. Just listen to those sounds as if you are hearing them for the first time in your life.

all some of your life’s blessings.

sant event, consider the seeds for growth that it contains and be grateful.

at these loveliest things are. If you discover them, you will find gratitude and you will find abiding joy.

At each event say, "It was well. It was well." Think of some present things, things that are happening to you now

- 10 -

LIFE Summary Being alive means (a) to be you, (b) to be now, and (c) to be here. Many examples and two exercises toward being more alive are given during the program. Life Exercise Think of an event in your recent past. Observe yourself reacting to this event. How did you react emotionally? What convictions and attitudes were part of your reaction? What inner voice were you responding to? Was someone else reacting for you? Be a neutral observer. Do not judge yourself. Just look. Take your time with this exercise. (Allow at least ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. Why do so few people take the time to improve the spiritual quality of their lives? What is the single most important thing you can do to improve the quality of your life? What has this program taught you about this? 2. What does it mean to say someone has died without ever having lived? How can a person be neither dead nor alive? Do you think you are one of these people? Why or why not? 3. Being alive means (a) to be you, (b) to be now, and (c) to be - 11 -

here. Explain what each of these means, using examples. 4. “In the measure that you are you, you are alive.” Explain this statement and then briefly describe yourself. 5. Who might you be besides yourself? Are you subject to remote control? Who has been the greatest influence on you in the past? Who is the greatest influence on you now? Are these influences on you good or bad? 6. Are you controlled by voices from the past? If so, whose voices are they? 7. What do you think Jesus meant when he said you must hate your mother and father? What did Fr. de Mello say about this? 8. How can you drop the mechanicalness in your life? What technique for this most appealed to you in this program? 9. What did you think of the man who was described in the program who said that when he was paralyzed he really began to live? If you were paralyzed, do you think you could ever say this? Why or why not? What does the paralyzed man have that allows him to say that? 10.Do you have time? What do you spend your time on? How could you make more time for yourself? 11.What does it mean to live only in the present? Are the past and the future unreal? If so, in what ways are they unreal? How do the past and the future separate us from the present? How does this diminish one’s quality of life? 12.How many minutes a day do you spend in the past or in the future? How much do you daydream about the past and the future? 13.Buddha said that enlightenment consists in coming to the present. How would you explain what he meant? 14.What does it mean to be here and to come to our senses? What did Fr. de Mello mean by this? 15.During the program the story was told of an American soldier in Korea who argued all during a Thanksgiving dinner. Later he realized that he had hardly tasted the meal he had so looked forward to eating. Can you think of a similar experience that you have had? What is it? 16.Fr. de Mello said, “Ideas are not life. They are excellent to guide us in life, but they are not life … Life is found in experience.” Do you agree? Why or why not? 17.How can ideas be an obstacle to experience? Can you think of an example of this from your own life? 18.There was a guru who said that as a result of enlightenment when he eats he eats, when he looks he looks, and when he hears he hears. Do you consider this point ironic? Do you think he meant that everyone is enlightened? Why or why not? How

- 12 -

would you have reacted to the guru? 19.Do you consider the exercises in this program to be a form of prayer? Why or why not?

nner voice were you responding to? Was someone else reacting for you? Be a neutral observer. Do not judge yo

r senses. Bring yourself to the world of the senses and of experience.

FREEDOM

Summary The chains that keep us from true freedom are bad experiences of the past, good experiences of the past, fears and anxieties about the future, ambitions for the future, clinging to present things, and delusions about our own importance. Many exercises are described to help people become free of these chains. Freedom Exercise - 13 -

Meditatively imagine what existed one hundred years ago on the spot where you are now. What existed there three thousand years ago? What will exist there three thousand years from now? You will experience a sense of vastness. You will gain a realization that except in the eyes of God you are not really important. (Allow five to ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. Is reflecting on the topic of freedom important for spiritual growth? Why or why not? What is true freedom? When do you feel the most and the least free? 2. In this program Fr. de Mello said, “The enemies to freedom are not outside of us.” What did he mean? What is it inside you that most restricts your freedom? 3. What bad experience in the past restricts your freedom? How does it restrict your freedom? What can you do about it? 4. Do you agree that the good experiences of the past can limit your freedom? Do you agree with Fr. de Mello that nostalgia is a disease? Why or why not? How does nostalgia destroy the present? How nostalgic are you? Do you compare past experiences with the present? 5. Hindus say, “Water remains pure by flowing. The holy person remains pure by going.” What application does that have for you? How does this saying relate to the program? 6. Why should Christians not be anxious about the future? What are you most anxious about? 7. What is good about ambition? When does ambition have bad effects? How much is too much ambition? When does ambition come to the point of controlling one’s life? 8. Why is the human heart so possessive of persons and things? What are you most possessive of? 9. Do you agree with Fr. de Mello that except in the eyes of God you do not really matter? Did this shock you? If so, why? In what ways are you insignificant? In what ways do you think you are most significant? 10.What is the “tyranny of the self” that Fr. de Mello spoke of? How do you experience this? 11.How does a realistic view of your importance free you? How does it give you perspective and vastness?

- 14 -

king. I am not my thoughts." Become aware of your feelings or recall some feelings from the recent past. Turn y

ot be violent and do not force yourself. Do not allow yourself to become too immersed in the memory. If this doe

e." Then move to pleasant experiences you have had and personalize them. Repeat the same sequence as abo

most intimate to you, such as your reputation, or your health, or your life itself.

LOVE - 15 -

Summary Love has two aspects: the aspect of creation and the aspect of identification. Exercises are given that will help participants see the good in others and in themselves. An additional exercise is given that will help participants realize their oneness with other people. Love Exercise In a meditative environment think of someone you love. Imagine that person is sitting in front of you. Talk to that person. Talk lovingly, describing what that person means to you. As you do this, be in touch with what you are feeling. (Allow five to ten minutes for this exercise.) Discussion Questions 1. Why is love closely related to spiritual growth. Why is love so incomprehensible? What is your understanding of love? 2. Fr. de Mello said, “Love is something that is so vast that it is almost like God himself.” Explain what this statement means to you. 3. What is meant by the aspect of love as creation? What did the story of the eagle nad the chickens teach you about this aspect of love? 4. How can you give those close to you the consciousness of who they truly are? How can you give them wings? 5. Do you think there is such a thing as a bad boy or a bad girl? Why or why not? How much do you think people are shaped by those around them? What did the story about the “spurters” teach you about this? 6. What was Father Flanagan’s secret with the kids at Boys Town? How might you put his secret to use with someone you know? 7. Psychologists say people tend to become what they think they are. Do you think this is true? If so, do you feel this is a spiritual truth? Why? How can you think this for the good of others? 8. If Jesus returned to earth, what do you think would be the first thing he would notice in humanity today? 9. Why do you think good people tend to see the good in others and evil people tend to see the evil? Do people tend to see in others a reflection of themselves? If so, why? 10.How can the exercises described in this program make you a more loving person? Which of the exercises do you think will be the most effective for you? 11.What are some examples in the Gospels that show Jesus seeing the good in others? What was the effect of this on those people? - 16 -

12.How is the story of the princess and the frog really the story of all of us? What person in your life has done the most for you by o that person. Talk lovingly, describing what that person means to you. you do seeing the good in you? Recall this story andAs share it. this, be in touch with what yo 13.If Jesus came back to earth today and wanted to stay at your house tonight, how would he treat you? What would he think of f you. As you look at that person, try to see something good in him or her. you? What good would he see in you? 14.What is love as identification? Who is the holy person? What are the characteristics of the holy person? 15.How can you attain the kind of love that is the mark of the holy person? Say what Jesus would say to that person. 16.In what ways are you and those around you not two and yet not one? What do you and those around you have in common? What ities he sees in you. Don’t shirk thisyou exercise. Jesus makes allowances for defects and willbody see through them to y separates from them? How are all Christians one in the of Christ? 17.What can you do to gain the aspect of love as identification? out thinking about it. Don’t look for anything sensational. Just look and listen and touch with a quiet mind. Why is this kind of love a grace? What can you do to prepare for this grace? 18.If you had to describe God, using only verbs, what verbs would you use?

- 17 -