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Advanced Negotiation Techniques – Asking Good Questions and Practicing Active Listening Breakout Session 101 Tom Reid Chief Problem Solver Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC
© Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
Monday, April 10, 2006 11AM to12PM
NCMA World Congress 2006 :
Achieving High Performance in Global Business: Leadership, Outsourcing, & Risk Management
April 10–12, 2006 Hyatt Regency Atlanta Atlanta, GA
2
A question. Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I’ve awaited a question. THE GUARDIAN OF FOREVER “City on the Edge of Forever” Star Trek, April 6, 1967
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Why Learn Negotiation? • • • • • • •
Negotiation is a critical business skill Nearly everyone negotiates all day Very few are really good at it Effective negotiators are more productive Your management thinks its important As a skill, you need to WANT to do it As a skill, you must practice
© Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Going to the Roots • The Latin rood of the word (negotiatus) means “to carry on business.” • In Spanish, negocios means “business.” • Selling vs. Negotiating
© Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Win – Win Negotiations • Process vs. Event • Win-Win Negotiations – Benefits of using win-win – Benefits of developing long term business relationships Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury, (1981) (2d ed., 1991). © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Principled Negotiations People: Separate the people from the problem Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. Options: Generate many possibilities before settling on one Criteria: Insist that the result be based on objective standards © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Key Points 1. Don’t bargain over position. 2. Separate the people from the problem. 3. Focus on interests, not positions. 4. Invent options for mutual gain. 5. Insist on using objective criteria. 6. What if they are more powerful? 7. What if they won’t play? 8. What if they use dirty tricks? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Buyer’s Major Objectives • Acquire necessary supplies and services of the desired quality, on time, and at the lowest reasonable price • Establish and administer a pricing arrangement that results in payment of a fair and reasonable price • Satisfy the needs of the user © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Seller’s Major Objectives • Profitability
Long term Short term
• Market share • Satisfy needs of customer • Build a relationship © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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What Is a High Quality Contract? • Contract type represents reasonable apportionment of risk • Requirements match the financial arrangement • Contract clauses represent applicable laws and regulations • Delivery/performance schedule is reasonable for desired goods or services • Profit is reasonable for work to be performed and reflects current economic conditions © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Wants vs. Needs • We all know what we “want” • Fewer people can articulate their “needs” • Expressing wants is usually positional • Expressing needs is usually principled • Expression of needs usually is a better indicator of real interests © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Communication Without communication there is no negotiation.
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Persuasion • Logos – Facts, figures, and empirical proof – To Plato, only legitimate technique – Everything else is is just sophistry
• Pathos – Passion; emotion – Bikini-clad women, babies, & puppies © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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• Ethos – Character can be the strongest proof of all – “Common sense, virtue, and goodwill” • To Aristotle an ethical trifecta
– Consider second opinions and battling experts in the courtroom Knowledgenews.com © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Three Communication Problems
• You may not be talking to each other • You may not be hearing each other • Words are easily misunderstood
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Not Talking
• You may not be talking to each other – Trying to impress – Trying to trip other side
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Not Hearing
• You may not be hearing each other – Thinking of what you want to say next – Other distractions – Not understanding their language
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Misunderstanding • Words are easily misunderstood • “A Problem Well Defined is a Problem Half Solved” • Assuming that what is important to you is important to everyone
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Perceptions Remember: Your perceptions can be as inaccurate as you perceive their perceptions to be. I know you think you understood what you thought I said, but what you don’t understand is that what you heard was not what I meant to say! © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Communication Solutions
Learn to Ask Outstanding Questions and to Listen Actively © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Stephen Covey
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Fact Finding • No matter what you are buying or selling, you need information. • The better your information, the greater your chances of success. • How do you gather information? You ask good questions.
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The Value of Questions “Gaining a clear understanding of the value of questions is probably the single most dominant factor in my overall success in business and in life. As a sales trainer and the author of ten books on the subject of selling, including How to Master the Art of Selling, I have always been a believer in the value of questions.” Leeds, Pg.xi © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions • • • •
Ambiguous Controversial Direct Explanatory
• • • •
Factual Leading Redirected Relay
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Ambiguous • Could have more than one meaning • A very dangerous question to ask • Can lead to extended misunderstandings TIP: If asked an ambiguous question, get clarification before answering.
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Controversial • Often solicits opinion • Often is also “leading” in that it presupposes agreement • Yields little or no data • Can polarize the relationship TIP: If asked, deflect the question or redirect it to asker. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Direct • Almost always yields “yes” or “no” answers • Does not solicit additional information • Assumes a context which is probably unstated and not necessarily understood • Might be directed to other team members TIP: If other side directs such a question to one on your team, reassert control. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Explanatory • • • •
Requires an explanation for an answer Cannot be answered “yes” or “no” Generally requires a context Most often of the “who, what, where, when, and why” variety • Also referred to as “open-ended” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Factual • Deals with provable data • Avoids opinion or interpretation of data TIP: If you are answering a factual question, be certain that your data are correct.
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Leading • • 3. 4.
Classic “lawyer’s” question Presupposes the answer “Isn’t it true that…….” “ Have you stopped beating your spouse?” TIP: Refuse to answer unless the presuppositions are clarified © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Redirected • Used often as a blocking technique • Often shows uncertainty or evasiveness • Can become a “bounce-back” TIP: Table the question and return to exploring interests to see why the question is not being answered
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Relay
• Used for compound situations • When soliciting information involving multiple disciplines • Gives much control of direction to the person answering the question
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Practice Tips • Questions should always be worded clearly, concisely, and courteously • Avoid using deliberately ambiguous, controversial, or leading questions • Be careful of your tone of voice and the words you use • Factual and explanatory questions should predominate © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions • The real purpose of probing in selling is not only to get information, but to get your clients to think. (Leeds p. 188) • The most important aspect of making a sale -is also a major weakness of every salesperson. Asking questions. (Gittomer)
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It is much harder to ask the right question than it is to find the right answer to the wrong question. E. E. Morison (1909 – 1995) Historian and educator
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More Important Than Technology It is not enough just to be able to use a computer. As Picasso once said, “Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” And as Neil Postman, author, linguist, and chairman of the Department of Culture and Communication at New York University, claims, “Learning to use a computer isn’t nearly as important as learning how to ask smart questions.” All of the technology in the world will not help us if we are not able, at the core, to communicate with each other and build strong, lasting relationships. Leeds, op cit Pg. 5 © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"How do you know so much about everything" was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; and the answer was "By never being afraid or ashamed to ask questions as to anything of which I was ignorant." John Abbott
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Questions Demand Answers • You have enormous power when you are doing the asking. • That power is defined by the words you use, how you phrase the question, and even your tone of voice. • Exactly what questions you ask, along with the way that you ask it, can dramatically affect the answer you get. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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The answers you get depend upon the questions you ask. Thomas Kuhn (1922–1996) Philosopher and historian
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The Power of Questions “Asking questions puts you on an equal basis with the other person. First, because questions demand answers; if you ask, people will answer, Second, questions get people to think-and, if you ask the right question, to think in your direction. And third, questions give you information, and information is always a source of power. With all these powers behind you, questions can give you the control you need in any situation.” Leeds, Op Cit Pg-92. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Conquer Your Fear by Asking Questions • Asking questions can be an effective way to help you gain confidence as well as control. • Ask someone simple what and how questions. • Start out slowly-do not try to jump too far ahead of yourself. The key is to get just outside of your comfort zone and stay there for a while. • Once you feel comfortable there, take another small step, and another, and another-until you have conquered your fear. • Questions are the great equalizer. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Gender Differences And the truth is that men and women do not open up equally. Men are usually more reticent speakers. Psychologist Beth Althofer says that men “tend to be more concrete, although they would call it analytical or objective. Women tend to be more intuitive, more concerned with expressing their feelings.” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions Create Alignment Good sales people aren’t just thought leaders, they’re excellent listeners too. Listening provides clarity. The questions we have armed you with will elicit everything you need in order to sell. But remember, never answer your own question. If a prospect’s answer is not clear, ask again. If you don’t, you’ll never align yourself fully with the prospect. No alignment means no sale. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions Show Appreciation
Psychologists have long known that the desire to be appreciated is fundamental principle of human nature, and listening is one of the highest forms of appreciation you can show another person. Leeds, Op Cit Pg. 145. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Lessons From Salesmen • Agree with Everything (use “and” rather than “but”) • Feel, Felt, Found • Move from Principle to Conclusion • Do NOT move from Conclusion to Rationalization • Meet One-on-one with Decision-maker • Silence is Golden © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. Robert Frost
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Communicating Bad News
If you want the other side to accept a disagreeable conclusion, it is crucial that you involve them in the process of reaching that conclusion.
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An Example It is not only our preferences that make a difference’ the situation itself often dictates how well we listen. For instance, imagine that you are a beginning skier, about to take your first run down anything other than the bunny hill. You hear a faint rumbling in the background. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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The Point As you look up at the snowcapped mountain, it begins sliding towards you. Suddenly, you ski instructor says, “I am the resident expert on avalanches around here, and there is only one way to survive,” How will you listen to his instructions? Very Carefully! © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Identifying Interests • Interests are often stated as goals • Positions are usually conclusory in nature • Interests have reasons behind them that can be articulated • Positions are often stated confrontationally
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Question Protocol 1. Work to create two-way exchange of information. 2. Stay flexible about who asks questions and who states concerns first. 3. If the other side seems uncomfortable with your initial questions, offer to talk about one or two of your most important points- and explain way they are important.
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Identifying Interests • Too often we simply fail to ask “why?” • We make assumptions about a person’s motivation • Ask for understanding, not justification • Seek an understanding of needs, hopes, fears, or desires
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Identifying Interests • First Rule: Ask “Why?” • Second Rule: Ask “Why?” • Third Rule: Ask “Why?”
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Identifying Interests • Also Ask “Why Not?” • If you need to change their minds, you need to know where their minds are now • Asking such questions often helps them figure out what they are thinking • Clear thinking is not necessarily a natural activity © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Famous Question
"But what... is it good for?" IBM Engineer, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
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Other Benefits of Good Questions
Asking the right question of the right person can be an outstanding time management tool.
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Benefits of Active Listening Active Listening is more than just keeping your mouth shut. Active listening helps you capture what the other side has to say. Active Listening includes sending signals to the speaker that you are alert and eager to hear what they have to say. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Lessons From Johnny Carson • Let others talk • Listened • Made jokes but never at the expense of his guests. • Saw the value in bringing the common man on his show. • Wanted to see others succeed. • Was almost funnier when his jokes bombed because he just rolled with it.
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Active Listening “It is no coincidence that effective negotiators listen far more than they talk” from Ury, Getting Past No, op.cit. P. 39. Emphasis in original.
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Active Listening • • • • • • •
Don’t interrupt Control body language signals Use eye contact; project confidence Take limited notes “Yes, please go on.” or “Then what happened?” “Let me see if I understand…” (Covey habit #5) Acknowledge what is being said • Agree wherever you can • Say “Yes…and” rather than “but”
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Tips for Active Listening • • • • • • • • •
Keep your eyes on the speaker. Keep quiet and let the prospect talk. Never interrupt. Wait until the prospect has competed his or her thought. Take notes as appropriate Don’t allow yourself to think about anything but what the speaker is saying Resist the urge to formulate your response until after the speaker has finished Pay attention to the speaker’s body language Ask questions to get more information and to encourage the speaker to continue Repeat what’s been said to you so that you can validate its accuracy and show the prospect that you’ve understood what’s been communicated.
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Practice Tips • Be an active listener. The more they talk, the more information you’re likely to get. • Express empathy for the other side’s perspective, needs, and interests. Empathy is especially important in highly charged situations. It takes active listening one step further, confirming that you can connect with the speaker and the underlying tensions or emotional issues. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Listening (per Doug Firebaugh) My mentor taught me that... "...Listening is the Million Dollar Skill....Master it, and you have mastered the Power Core of Communication, Connection, and Caring...found in the Heart of Success". If you study great leaders, most were great listeners, and learned from it. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Listening and Mentoring • Who do you know that is a great leader in Business or your Community? If you study them, study their Listening habits... • When you listen next time with someone...give 100% attention, and don't let anything distract you... • Remember...this is their time with you...respect it. • Lock onto not just the Moment, but the Message within the Moment. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." Albert Einstein
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Super Probes • Traditional open-ended questions are a great tool that every salesperson should use. • Even more powerful is a special kind of open-ended question called the Super Probe: • EXAMPLE: “Can you describe for me how your buying habits have changed in the last two years?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Why Are Super Probes so Powerful?
• Super Probes are open-ended questions that are directive rather than general. • They tend to produce thoughtful, careful, detailed responses. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Magic Words • In crafting Super Probes – do not use the traditional question words who, what, where, when why, and how. – use words like explore, describe, investigate, analyze, illustrate, illuminate, decode, inspect, unearth, and translate to get your client to explain himself. – Alternatively, use phrases like walk me through, unravel the mystery, shed light upon, and hunt down. – Ask your customer to explain the similarities and differences between things, use comparison words like compare, contrast, weigh, correlate, differentiate, and distinguish. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions or Commands? • Many Super Probes are not questions in the traditional sense. • Implied questions may be just as powerful as explicit questions, if not more so.
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Another Thought Provoking Question • If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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The Beauty of it All • It challenges the client or customer in a stimulating, interesting way. • If you engage your customer intellectually and emotionally, you will get him or her to spend more time with you. • These questions force your client to think, and, because they are more interesting, they provoke more honest and meaningful answers. • Finally, they help you stand out from the salespeople who ask more routine questions, encouraging your client to see you in a different light - as more intelligent, thoughtful and caring.
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Practice Tip Set aside time to develop five Super Probes that are appropriate for you to use with your clients, customers, and prospects. Then try them out on the job next week. Your selling dialogues will be more interesting and fruitful than ever before. Leeds, Op. Cit. Pg. 188-189. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Reinforcement Do you have 25 of the most powerful questions you can create at your fingertips? No? Join the crowd. 95% of all salespeople [negotiators] don't. That could be why only 5% of salespeople rise to the top. Just a theory (or is it?) Jeffrey Gittomer © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Goal Get every prospect and customer to say "No one ever asked me that before."
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For Example
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork? Stanislaw J. Lec
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How do you formulate a power question? There's a secret to creating and asking the right type of Power Question. Ask a question that makes the prospect think about me and my business, and respond in terms of them and their business.
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Here are some bad examples • What type of life insurance do you have? • Do you have a pager? • Who do you currently use for long distance service?
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Here are some good examples • If your husband died, how would the house payments be made? How would the children go to college? • If your most important customer called right now, how would you get the message? • If your long distance charges were 30% higher than they should be, how would you know? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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More Stimulating Questions • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? • Does your train of thought have a caboose? • Do they ever shut up on your planet? • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? • Is it time for your medication or mine? • How do I set a laser printer to stun? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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A Question Used by CCS • Tell me what would be different in your business if you were on GSA Schedule?
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The Magic of “What if…?” • Use to explore options – Increase quantity – Change delivery schedule – Eliminate/add “optional” items
• With multiple issues, a change in one aspect can have a “ripple effect” • Need not be totally practical or realistic © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Character • People of character are successful at this • Dirty tricks will come back to haunt you • Develop a strong sense of ethics • Avoid focusing on either party’s breach “Character is how you act when there is no one else around” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." Zig Ziglar
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Playing Fairly • • • •
“Please correct me if I’m wrong…” “We appreciate what you’ve done for us…” “Our concern is fairness.” “We would like to settle this not on selfish interest and power, but on principle.” • “Trust is a separate issue.” • “Can I ask a few questions to make sure I have the right facts?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Playing Fairly • “What’s the principle behind your actions?” • “Let me see if I understand what you’re saying” • “Let me get back to you.” • “Let me show you where I have trouble following some of your reasoning.” • “One fair solution might be…” • “If we agree…/If we disagree…” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Tactful Ways to Say No • “I couldn’t justify…” • “Let me see if I understand…” • “What are the principles behind your position?” • “Let me get back to you.” • “Let me show you where I have trouble following your reasoning” • “One fair solution might be…” • “Is that fair?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Practice Note • Always enter negotiations with your ethics and character intact • Always leave negotiations with your ethics and character intact
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Silence • Unreasonable positions and unreasonable people dislike silence • Duplicitous persons dislike silence • Wait out half answers • Don’t take them off the hook “Some of the most effective negotiating you will ever do is when you are not talking.” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Another Famous Question
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?“ H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
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The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. Peter F. Drucker Management consultant and writer
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Questions and Silence • • • • •
Like lawyers, ask questions Do not just make statements The more they talk, the more you learn Statements invite resistance Questions do not criticize, they educate
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"Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect." Samuel Johnson
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Best Super Probe/Power Question of ALL Time Does the fairy godmother know she’s make–believe? Laura Weinstock, age six
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ANY QUESTIONS? I Promise to use Active Listening!
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A question. Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I’ve awaited a question. THE GUARDIAN OF FOREVER “City on the Edge of Forever” Star Trek, April 6, 1967
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Why Learn Negotiation? • • • • • • •
Negotiation is a critical business skill Nearly everyone negotiates all day Very few are really good at it Effective negotiators are more productive Your management thinks its important As a skill, you need to WANT to do it As a skill, you must practice
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Going to the Roots • The Latin rood of the word (negotiatus) means “to carry on business.” • In Spanish, negocios means “business.” • Selling vs. Negotiating
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Win – Win Negotiations • Process vs. Event • Win-Win Negotiations – Benefits of using win-win – Benefits of developing long term business relationships Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury, (1981) (2d ed., 1991). © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Principled Negotiations People: Separate the people from the problem Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. Options: Generate many possibilities before settling on one Criteria: Insist that the result be based on objective standards © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Key Points 1. Don’t bargain over position. 2. Separate the people from the problem. 3. Focus on interests, not positions. 4. Invent options for mutual gain. 5. Insist on using objective criteria. 6. What if they are more powerful? 7. What if they won’t play? 8. What if they use dirty tricks? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Buyer’s Major Objectives • Acquire necessary supplies and services of the desired quality, on time, and at the lowest reasonable price • Establish and administer a pricing arrangement that results in payment of a fair and reasonable price • Satisfy the needs of the user © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Seller’s Major Objectives • Profitability
Long term Short term
• Market share • Satisfy needs of customer • Build a relationship © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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What Is a High Quality Contract? • Contract type represents reasonable apportionment of risk • Requirements match the financial arrangement • Contract clauses represent applicable laws and regulations • Delivery/performance schedule is reasonable for desired goods or services • Profit is reasonable for work to be performed and reflects current economic conditions © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Wants vs. Needs • We all know what we “want” • Fewer people can articulate their “needs” • Expressing wants is usually positional • Expressing needs is usually principled • Expression of needs usually is a better indicator of real interests © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Communication Without communication there is no negotiation.
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Persuasion • Logos – Facts, figures, and empirical proof – To Plato, only legitimate technique – Everything else is is just sophistry
• Pathos – Passion; emotion – Bikini-clad women, babies, & puppies © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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• Ethos – Character can be the strongest proof of all – “Common sense, virtue, and goodwill” • To Aristotle an ethical trifecta
– Consider second opinions and battling experts in the courtroom Knowledgenews.com © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Three Communication Problems
• You may not be talking to each other • You may not be hearing each other • Words are easily misunderstood
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Not Talking
• You may not be talking to each other – Trying to impress – Trying to trip other side
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Not Hearing
• You may not be hearing each other – Thinking of what you want to say next – Other distractions – Not understanding their language
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Misunderstanding • Words are easily misunderstood • “A Problem Well Defined is a Problem Half Solved” • Assuming that what is important to you is important to everyone
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Perceptions Remember: Your perceptions can be as inaccurate as you perceive their perceptions to be. I know you think you understood what you thought I said, but what you don’t understand is that what you heard was not what I meant to say! © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Communication Solutions
Learn to Ask Outstanding Questions and to Listen Actively © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Stephen Covey
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Fact Finding • No matter what you are buying or selling, you need information. • The better your information, the greater your chances of success. • How do you gather information? You ask good questions.
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The Value of Questions “Gaining a clear understanding of the value of questions is probably the single most dominant factor in my overall success in business and in life. As a sales trainer and the author of ten books on the subject of selling, including How to Master the Art of Selling, I have always been a believer in the value of questions.” Leeds, Pg.xi © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions • • • •
Ambiguous Controversial Direct Explanatory
• • • •
Factual Leading Redirected Relay
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Ambiguous • Could have more than one meaning • A very dangerous question to ask • Can lead to extended misunderstandings TIP: If asked an ambiguous question, get clarification before answering.
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Controversial • Often solicits opinion • Often is also “leading” in that it presupposes agreement • Yields little or no data • Can polarize the relationship TIP: If asked, deflect the question or redirect it to asker. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Direct • Almost always yields “yes” or “no” answers • Does not solicit additional information • Assumes a context which is probably unstated and not necessarily understood • Might be directed to other team members TIP: If other side directs such a question to one on your team, reassert control. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Explanatory • • • •
Requires an explanation for an answer Cannot be answered “yes” or “no” Generally requires a context Most often of the “who, what, where, when, and why” variety • Also referred to as “open-ended” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Factual • Deals with provable data • Avoids opinion or interpretation of data TIP: If you are answering a factual question, be certain that your data are correct.
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Leading • • 3. 4.
Classic “lawyer’s” question Presupposes the answer “Isn’t it true that…….” “ Have you stopped beating your spouse?” TIP: Refuse to answer unless the presuppositions are clarified © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Redirected • Used often as a blocking technique • Often shows uncertainty or evasiveness • Can become a “bounce-back” TIP: Table the question and return to exploring interests to see why the question is not being answered
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Relay
• Used for compound situations • When soliciting information involving multiple disciplines • Gives much control of direction to the person answering the question
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Practice Tips • Questions should always be worded clearly, concisely, and courteously • Avoid using deliberately ambiguous, controversial, or leading questions • Be careful of your tone of voice and the words you use • Factual and explanatory questions should predominate © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions • The real purpose of probing in selling is not only to get information, but to get your clients to think. (Leeds p. 188) • The most important aspect of making a sale -is also a major weakness of every salesperson. Asking questions. (Gittomer)
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It is much harder to ask the right question than it is to find the right answer to the wrong question. E. E. Morison (1909 – 1995) Historian and educator
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More Important Than Technology It is not enough just to be able to use a computer. As Picasso once said, “Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” And as Neil Postman, author, linguist, and chairman of the Department of Culture and Communication at New York University, claims, “Learning to use a computer isn’t nearly as important as learning how to ask smart questions.” All of the technology in the world will not help us if we are not able, at the core, to communicate with each other and build strong, lasting relationships. Leeds, op cit Pg. 5 © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"How do you know so much about everything" was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; and the answer was "By never being afraid or ashamed to ask questions as to anything of which I was ignorant." John Abbott
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Questions Demand Answers • You have enormous power when you are doing the asking. • That power is defined by the words you use, how you phrase the question, and even your tone of voice. • Exactly what questions you ask, along with the way that you ask it, can dramatically affect the answer you get. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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The answers you get depend upon the questions you ask. Thomas Kuhn (1922–1996) Philosopher and historian
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The Power of Questions “Asking questions puts you on an equal basis with the other person. First, because questions demand answers; if you ask, people will answer, Second, questions get people to think-and, if you ask the right question, to think in your direction. And third, questions give you information, and information is always a source of power. With all these powers behind you, questions can give you the control you need in any situation.” Leeds, Op Cit Pg-92. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Conquer Your Fear by Asking Questions • Asking questions can be an effective way to help you gain confidence as well as control. • Ask someone simple what and how questions. • Start out slowly-do not try to jump too far ahead of yourself. The key is to get just outside of your comfort zone and stay there for a while. • Once you feel comfortable there, take another small step, and another, and another-until you have conquered your fear. • Questions are the great equalizer. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Gender Differences And the truth is that men and women do not open up equally. Men are usually more reticent speakers. Psychologist Beth Althofer says that men “tend to be more concrete, although they would call it analytical or objective. Women tend to be more intuitive, more concerned with expressing their feelings.” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions Create Alignment Good sales people aren’t just thought leaders, they’re excellent listeners too. Listening provides clarity. The questions we have armed you with will elicit everything you need in order to sell. But remember, never answer your own question. If a prospect’s answer is not clear, ask again. If you don’t, you’ll never align yourself fully with the prospect. No alignment means no sale. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions Show Appreciation
Psychologists have long known that the desire to be appreciated is fundamental principle of human nature, and listening is one of the highest forms of appreciation you can show another person. Leeds, Op Cit Pg. 145. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Lessons From Salesmen • Agree with Everything (use “and” rather than “but”) • Feel, Felt, Found • Move from Principle to Conclusion • Do NOT move from Conclusion to Rationalization • Meet One-on-one with Decision-maker • Silence is Golden © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. Robert Frost
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Communicating Bad News
If you want the other side to accept a disagreeable conclusion, it is crucial that you involve them in the process of reaching that conclusion.
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An Example It is not only our preferences that make a difference’ the situation itself often dictates how well we listen. For instance, imagine that you are a beginning skier, about to take your first run down anything other than the bunny hill. You hear a faint rumbling in the background. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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The Point As you look up at the snowcapped mountain, it begins sliding towards you. Suddenly, you ski instructor says, “I am the resident expert on avalanches around here, and there is only one way to survive,” How will you listen to his instructions? Very Carefully! © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Identifying Interests • Interests are often stated as goals • Positions are usually conclusory in nature • Interests have reasons behind them that can be articulated • Positions are often stated confrontationally
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Question Protocol 1. Work to create two-way exchange of information. 2. Stay flexible about who asks questions and who states concerns first. 3. If the other side seems uncomfortable with your initial questions, offer to talk about one or two of your most important points- and explain way they are important.
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Identifying Interests • Too often we simply fail to ask “why?” • We make assumptions about a person’s motivation • Ask for understanding, not justification • Seek an understanding of needs, hopes, fears, or desires
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Identifying Interests • First Rule: Ask “Why?” • Second Rule: Ask “Why?” • Third Rule: Ask “Why?”
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Identifying Interests • Also Ask “Why Not?” • If you need to change their minds, you need to know where their minds are now • Asking such questions often helps them figure out what they are thinking • Clear thinking is not necessarily a natural activity © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Famous Question
"But what... is it good for?" IBM Engineer, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
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Other Benefits of Good Questions
Asking the right question of the right person can be an outstanding time management tool.
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Benefits of Active Listening Active Listening is more than just keeping your mouth shut. Active listening helps you capture what the other side has to say. Active Listening includes sending signals to the speaker that you are alert and eager to hear what they have to say. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Lessons From Johnny Carson • Let others talk • Listened • Made jokes but never at the expense of his guests. • Saw the value in bringing the common man on his show. • Wanted to see others succeed. • Was almost funnier when his jokes bombed because he just rolled with it.
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Active Listening “It is no coincidence that effective negotiators listen far more than they talk” from Ury, Getting Past No, op.cit. P. 39. Emphasis in original.
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Active Listening • • • • • • •
Don’t interrupt Control body language signals Use eye contact; project confidence Take limited notes “Yes, please go on.” or “Then what happened?” “Let me see if I understand…” (Covey habit #5) Acknowledge what is being said • Agree wherever you can • Say “Yes…and” rather than “but”
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Tips for Active Listening • • • • • • • • •
Keep your eyes on the speaker. Keep quiet and let the prospect talk. Never interrupt. Wait until the prospect has competed his or her thought. Take notes as appropriate Don’t allow yourself to think about anything but what the speaker is saying Resist the urge to formulate your response until after the speaker has finished Pay attention to the speaker’s body language Ask questions to get more information and to encourage the speaker to continue Repeat what’s been said to you so that you can validate its accuracy and show the prospect that you’ve understood what’s been communicated.
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Practice Tips • Be an active listener. The more they talk, the more information you’re likely to get. • Express empathy for the other side’s perspective, needs, and interests. Empathy is especially important in highly charged situations. It takes active listening one step further, confirming that you can connect with the speaker and the underlying tensions or emotional issues. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Listening (per Doug Firebaugh) My mentor taught me that... "...Listening is the Million Dollar Skill....Master it, and you have mastered the Power Core of Communication, Connection, and Caring...found in the Heart of Success". If you study great leaders, most were great listeners, and learned from it. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Listening and Mentoring • Who do you know that is a great leader in Business or your Community? If you study them, study their Listening habits... • When you listen next time with someone...give 100% attention, and don't let anything distract you... • Remember...this is their time with you...respect it. • Lock onto not just the Moment, but the Message within the Moment. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." Albert Einstein
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Super Probes • Traditional open-ended questions are a great tool that every salesperson should use. • Even more powerful is a special kind of open-ended question called the Super Probe: • EXAMPLE: “Can you describe for me how your buying habits have changed in the last two years?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Why Are Super Probes so Powerful?
• Super Probes are open-ended questions that are directive rather than general. • They tend to produce thoughtful, careful, detailed responses. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Magic Words • In crafting Super Probes – do not use the traditional question words who, what, where, when why, and how. – use words like explore, describe, investigate, analyze, illustrate, illuminate, decode, inspect, unearth, and translate to get your client to explain himself. – Alternatively, use phrases like walk me through, unravel the mystery, shed light upon, and hunt down. – Ask your customer to explain the similarities and differences between things, use comparison words like compare, contrast, weigh, correlate, differentiate, and distinguish. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Questions or Commands? • Many Super Probes are not questions in the traditional sense. • Implied questions may be just as powerful as explicit questions, if not more so.
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Another Thought Provoking Question • If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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The Beauty of it All • It challenges the client or customer in a stimulating, interesting way. • If you engage your customer intellectually and emotionally, you will get him or her to spend more time with you. • These questions force your client to think, and, because they are more interesting, they provoke more honest and meaningful answers. • Finally, they help you stand out from the salespeople who ask more routine questions, encouraging your client to see you in a different light - as more intelligent, thoughtful and caring.
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Practice Tip Set aside time to develop five Super Probes that are appropriate for you to use with your clients, customers, and prospects. Then try them out on the job next week. Your selling dialogues will be more interesting and fruitful than ever before. Leeds, Op. Cit. Pg. 188-189. © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Reinforcement Do you have 25 of the most powerful questions you can create at your fingertips? No? Join the crowd. 95% of all salespeople [negotiators] don't. That could be why only 5% of salespeople rise to the top. Just a theory (or is it?) Jeffrey Gittomer © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Goal Get every prospect and customer to say "No one ever asked me that before."
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For Example
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork? Stanislaw J. Lec
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How do you formulate a power question? There's a secret to creating and asking the right type of Power Question. Ask a question that makes the prospect think about me and my business, and respond in terms of them and their business.
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Here are some bad examples • What type of life insurance do you have? • Do you have a pager? • Who do you currently use for long distance service?
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Here are some good examples • If your husband died, how would the house payments be made? How would the children go to college? • If your most important customer called right now, how would you get the message? • If your long distance charges were 30% higher than they should be, how would you know? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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More Stimulating Questions • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? • Does your train of thought have a caboose? • Do they ever shut up on your planet? • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? • Is it time for your medication or mine? • How do I set a laser printer to stun? © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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A Question Used by CCS • Tell me what would be different in your business if you were on GSA Schedule?
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The Magic of “What if…?” • Use to explore options – Increase quantity – Change delivery schedule – Eliminate/add “optional” items
• With multiple issues, a change in one aspect can have a “ripple effect” • Need not be totally practical or realistic © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Character • People of character are successful at this • Dirty tricks will come back to haunt you • Develop a strong sense of ethics • Avoid focusing on either party’s breach “Character is how you act when there is no one else around” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." Zig Ziglar
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Playing Fairly • • • •
“Please correct me if I’m wrong…” “We appreciate what you’ve done for us…” “Our concern is fairness.” “We would like to settle this not on selfish interest and power, but on principle.” • “Trust is a separate issue.” • “Can I ask a few questions to make sure I have the right facts?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Playing Fairly • “What’s the principle behind your actions?” • “Let me see if I understand what you’re saying” • “Let me get back to you.” • “Let me show you where I have trouble following some of your reasoning.” • “One fair solution might be…” • “If we agree…/If we disagree…” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Tactful Ways to Say No • “I couldn’t justify…” • “Let me see if I understand…” • “What are the principles behind your position?” • “Let me get back to you.” • “Let me show you where I have trouble following your reasoning” • “One fair solution might be…” • “Is that fair?” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Practice Note • Always enter negotiations with your ethics and character intact • Always leave negotiations with your ethics and character intact
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Silence • Unreasonable positions and unreasonable people dislike silence • Duplicitous persons dislike silence • Wait out half answers • Don’t take them off the hook “Some of the most effective negotiating you will ever do is when you are not talking.” © Certified Contracting Solutions, LLC 2006
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Another Famous Question
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?“ H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
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The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. Peter F. Drucker Management consultant and writer
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Questions and Silence • • • • •
Like lawyers, ask questions Do not just make statements The more they talk, the more you learn Statements invite resistance Questions do not criticize, they educate
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"Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect." Samuel Johnson
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Best Super Probe/Power Question of ALL Time Does the fairy godmother know she’s make–believe? Laura Weinstock, age six
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ANY QUESTIONS? I Promise to use Active Listening!
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