08 11 29 New Understanding

Hi friends, Friday evening, November 28, 2008, we saw a movie about a church which in 1994 began a women’s shelter even though just a little over 50% of the congregation approved. Most of the deacons did not approve, but a man had donated a office building and an elderly lady gave part of her inheritance money for refurnishing the just mentioned. The former pastor’s daughter volunteered to be the housemother and counselor. The beginning of the movie also focused on a woman being booked into the town jail. She had been physically and sexually abused in her childhood by her father, raped by a few of her high school friends, and misused by a drug-addict boyfriend who even wanted her to prostitute herself. Through the rest of the movie, it was shown how she came to the end of herself and finally proceeded beyond the bad of her past to learning that God wants us to live unselfishly trusting in Him. Seeing compassion in the new church ministry and then a sermon about the leper healed by Jesus helped convinced her to give her life to Jesus Christ. She moved from despising men to trusting Jesus Christ and helping other troubled women. The deacons of the church changed their mind about the women’s shelter, and decided to use the money that had been collected for expanding the church building to expanding the women’s shelter and also created other community help ministries (a children’s home, a training center for homeless, a health clinic, etc.). But the main point that impacted me was that Hanna had to let go of the bad memories and fears, and desire to live a totally different life of trusting Jesus Christ and Christians with hope for helping others. From being an angry individual, she had divine peace and joy after definitely being born again. Because of a technical difficulty with the satellite, Dolo and I didn’t get to see the part of the movie where she had shared about her past with the other women at the shelter for the first time and she responded to the sermon in the church (but I was able to see that part the next morning). After seeing the ending, I told Dolo that she needed to do similar as Hanna and let go of the bad memories of her past in regards to her father, the many men who used her sexually, and her second husband. Then I found myself saying that she had to stop trying to do vengeance against them by misusing and abusing me. She has done the latter frequently during the past 5 years. I was surprised when this understanding finally came to me. She had become like Hanna in despising men and she would not trust God because He did not answer positively three big prayer requests during her previous marriage. And she has publicly stated, even at church, that she was not going to let another man control her. Ephesians 5 marriage indicated to her that it is a husband controlled marriage, even though I tried to explain why it isn’t and gave her articles that explained Ephesians 5 marriage. Currently, she has many friends and a pastor who are condoning her wrong relating to me and her disobedience the advice of the 4 doctors and physical therapists for what it takes to heal her left leg. The former was the major reason why I stopped going to church with her and the latter grieves me daily to see her throwing her career away by not doing the needed home exercising. Also, she believes she has said and done nothing wrong against me, but she has done more rejecting of and rudeness to me in 5 years than has been done total in my life. She thinks that all problems can be solved by spending money and that friends want gifts. She needs to realize that God has done the proper judging in relation to the men who misused her and she needs to repent from her abuses against me. She needs to get off the throne of our marriage and live Proverbs 3:5-6. Please pray that Dolo will finally realize like Hanna what needs to be done to live a new true Christian lifestyle. God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and my Internet ministries have kept me from having a mental breakdown. I came here to be this: Ephesians 5 from the Lockman Foundation’s Amplified Bible 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

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So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes {and} carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members (parts) of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.

But Dolo rejects letting me be that kind of husband, and she rejects the verses before and the verses after that passage. And her pastor and her friends apparently have rejected Ephesians 5 marriage too. Dolo actually just wanted a mostly secular marriage in which she can do whatever she feels like. She misled me in our many hours on the phone before I decided to leave the USA; I thought that she wanted a 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Ephesians 5 marriage. It has become obvious that I made a huge mistake in coming to Germany.