Urban Legends

Urban Legends The Rev. Joseph Winston October 11, 2009

Sermon Grace and peace are gifts for you from God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.1 Has anyone told you that it takes seven years to digest chewing gum and you believed them? Do you keep your children or grandchildren away from water for one hour after eating to keep them from getting cramps? Do you shy away from taking baths since they are unhealthy? If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then you have fallen for one of the many different rumors that run through our society. It does not take seven years for gum to pass through your body. Your digestive system processes gum at the same rate as everything else you eat. Cramps are a result of strenuous exercise and not from eating a healthy meal. It is safe to swim after eating. You can trace the idea that baths make you sick to a reporter writing an article on why it took 1

Romans 1:7, 1 Corinthians 1:3, 2 Corinthians 1:2, Galatians 1:3, Ephesians 1:2, Philippians 1:2, 2 Thessalonians 1:2, Philemon 1:3.

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so long for bathtubs to catch on in the United States. Instead of digging into the reasons why we dislike baths here in America, he made up the story that doctors told their patients to stay away from tubs.2 Urban legends take root and grow among us for many different causes. Parents know from first hand experience how hard it is to remove that one piece of misplaced gum. When it gets into hair there is not much to do besides cutting the offending piece of gum out. (And it always happens before school pictures.) Ice does not always help extracting the problem piece of chewing gum from the carpet. Without fail, scraping gum off the bottom of furniture is difficult. It is much easier to tell children the horrors of swallowing gum rather than explaining to them all the possible problems with gum. Certainly, the same line of logic holds for keeping children out of the water for one hour after eating. It is much simpler to say, “Stay out” than to spell out all the different reasons for waiting. A child never wants to hear that it is too hot to be out after lunch. Children will never tell you how tired they really are at the beach. Then there is the following fact. Parents want to rest after a long day at the pool. That probably is the real reason we want our children to stay out of the water for one hour. We want to take a nap. We have already heard the original explanation on why some people stay away from baths. The reporter fabricated a portion of the story. It seems to me that other factors must come into play. Children do not slosh out their bathwater if they take 2

Barbara Mikkelson, The ”Unhealthy” Bathtub, (http://www.snopes.com/history/ hoaxes/bathtub.asp, September 2007).

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a shower. Showers also do not take a long as a bath. Maybe that is why we still prefer showers over baths. You can find urban legends in every part of our lives. We have experienced them in our homes. They exist in our workplaces in the guise of do not ask what you are doing, just do it. You can even see them in today’s Gospel Lesson. Two urban legends widely taught as truth can be found in a single verse. Jesus says to us to us today, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:25).” The first myth that we need to debunk is the idea that the text we have before us is wrong. Some people would have you believe that the sentence should really say, “It is easier for a rope to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”3 Clearly, this makes the sentence easier to understand. One normally places a thread into a needle. The same action would be much harder if you used a rope. We must reject this first urban legend. We all can imagine working a rope through a needle. All it takes is a bigger needle or a smaller rope. This interpretation cannot be right. Jesus wants to show us the impossibility of working our way into heaven. The next incorrect urban legend deals with the needle itself. The idea here is that Jesus is referring to a narrow gate in the walls of Jerusalem called either the “Eye of the Needle” or “Camel’s Gate.”4 Because of economic necessity, the 3

John R. Donahue, S.J. and Daniel J. Harrington, S.J.; Idem, editor, The Gospel of Mark, Volume 2, Sacra Pagina, (Collegeville, MN: The Liturgical Press, 2002), p. 304. 4 Ibid.

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legend goes, the camels carrying merchandise must come fully loaded to the city walls. It is cheaper that way. They go on and remind us even in those days, the city of Jerusalem needed protection against terrorist attacks. Narrow gates prevent enemies from quickly overrunning the city. Putting two and two together means that the camels must be unloaded before they pass into Jerusalem through the narrow gates. This second urban legend also is false. We cannot find any records of these small gates. More importantly, we do not believe that we can take our stuff or even our most prized possessions with us into the kingdom of God. We can find many more illustrations of urban legends in today’s Gospel Lesson that have money as a topic. Only the rich go to heaven is one popular example. That is why the disciples are so surprised when they learn how hard it is for the rich to be saved (Mark 10:27). We still hear that same myth today when someone tells us that, “Riches prove God’s blessings.” Sometimes the story about money takes a dramatic twist and the urban legend becomes, “The rich cannot enter heaven.” This is not true either. Abraham’s wealth impressed the Pharaoh but Abraham’s assets did not prevent him for entering the kingdom of Go. These previous urban legends and the other ones clearly present in this lesson cannot cause us to miss the favorite myth of our age. Jesus does not care what you do. Today, some Lutherans are very fond of saying that it does not matter what we do or do not do. They correctly teach us that we cannot earn our way into heaven or even into 4

God’s good graces. They rightly tell us that Jesus loves us exactly as we are. The Gospel Lesson proves every one of these points to us. The disciples cannot see how anyone can be saved (Mark 10:26). They arrived at this conclusion through the following understanding. Riches gives you both extra time and money. That was true two thousand years ago and it is also true today. These resources, which the poor do not have, can be used in God’s service.5 The popular urban legend said that this earned them a place in heaven. When Jesus told the disciples how hard it is for the rich to be saved. He means that their works will never earn them a place in the kingdom of God. We also know that our flowery language does not impress Jesus (Mark 10:17). We see that in the lesson. The man called Jesus, “Good Teacher (Mark 10:18).” It did not work for that honest rich man two thousand years ago and it still does not work for us today. Finally, the lesson teaches us that Jesus loves all of us despite our faults (Mark 10:21). But there is a fundamental flaw in their logic that says we do not need to change. There is something completely wrong with their urban legend. They believe that Jesus leaves us alone. That is not what the Gospel says. Jesus gives that unnamed man a very specific command. Christ tells him to, “sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me (Mark 10:21).” Of course, the actions of selling everything, giving the money to those who 5

Donahue and Harrington, Mark, p. 304-305.

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need it, and following Jesus on the way of the cross do not earn points with God. We have already seen that urban legend smashed. We know that they cannot erase a single sin. These works do not save the rich man nor would they help us work our way to heaven. Then, why do we do what Christ tells us? Why do we follow His commands? We do we keep the Law? It actually is very simple. We trust that Jesus only wants the best for us. He gives us His Law to keep us from hurting ourselves.6 Obviously, following God’s commandments does not mean a life free of pain. After all, we are called to follow Jesus on the way of the cross.7 We will suffer. That much is certain. Jesus promised it (Mark 10:30).8 The Good News for you in today’s Gospel is this, “for God all things are possible (Mark 10:27).” Consider everything that God has already done to get you to this place. You safely made the trip from your house to here, you survived the night, and God met your physical needs of food, water, and a place to stay. Today’s existence is only 6

“Those who are accounted righteous before God do not live in mortal sin.” Apology of the Augsburg Confession, Article IV, n. 48, Theodore G. Tappert et al., editors, The Book of Concord, (Fortress Press, 1959), p. 114 To such people nothing can be good or wholesome, just as when a sick person willfully eats and drinks what is forbidden him by the physician. Large Catechism, S ACRAMENT OF THE A LTAR, n. 69, ibid., p. 454. 7 The Greek in Mark 10:17 reads εἰς ὁδὸν. Jesus is “on the way.” This is language that should invoke the way of the cross. Brian P. Stoffregen, Mark 10.17-31 Proper 23 - Year B, http: //www.crossmarks.com/brian/mark10x17.htm. 8 The use of persecutions is a “brilliant reminder of the mystery of the cross in the midst of a list of the the positive benefits of discipleship.” Donahue and Harrington, Mark, p. 306.

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one of God’s gifts to you. This amazing chain of blessing really includes every day of your life. This means that God let nothing stand in His way of having you here with Him today. That is how much Jesus loves you. The world is full of urban legends based on some mixture of fact and fiction. We pass these stories down from parent to child because they help us deal with the often difficult realities of life. There is another way to deal with the problems the world throws at us: follow Jesus. “The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”9

References Donahue, S.J., John R. and Harrington, S.J., Daniel J.; Idem, editor, The Gospel of Mark, Volume 2, Sacra Pagina, (Collegeville, MN: The Liturgical Press, 2002). Mikkelson, Barbara, The ”Unhealthy” Bathtub, (http://www.snopes. com/history/hoaxes/bathtub.asp,

September

2007),

Last

checked on October 9, 2009. Stoffregen, Brian P., Mark 10.17-31 Proper 23 - Year B, http://www. crossmarks.com/brian/mark10x17.htm, Last checked on October 9, 2009. 9

Philippians 4:7.

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Tappert, Theodore G., editors, The Book of Concord, (Fortress Press, 1959).

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