The Senior Voice - September 2008

The Senior

I O C V E September 2008

Local Attractions • Scenic Places • History • Money • Health • News

Ghost Ghost Town Town At Keota In Northern Near Greeley

Colorado

Lady Longs Moon Colorful Peak Fort Collins

Pioneer Pioneer Climbers

Indian Outlaws Battles In Early Colorado In Early Wyoming

Cover Skiing Steamboat Photo: Springs Pawnee Buttes

2 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Using an LLC for Estate Planning By Ron Rutz, Attorney Legal Correspondent Q: You have previously written about Limited Liability Companies (LLCs) as an estate planning technique. Would you elaborate? A: LLCs are rapidly replacing other traditional estate planning organizations such as corporations, limited partnerships, limited family partnerships (except in Texas), and

certain kinds of trusts. Some say LLCs were first started only a few years ago in Wyoming but have spread to all of the states. It is generically a partnership but with corporate attributes such as limited liability and sometimes status as a separate taxable entity. I like to form my LLCs so that they more closely resemble a corporation rather than a partnership with units (shares), members (share-

holders), unit certificates, officers, annual meetings, etc. An LLC can be used to reduce estate tax exposure. By inserting the proper terms and internal structure, it is possible to reduce assets value by up to 40%. Thus, $1 million worth of land or stock would only have taxable value of $600,000 if placed in an LLC. An LLC can also be used to keep ownership of an asset together in one entity, although the entity is owned by more than one person. Thus, a vacation cabin inherited by several people is often set up in an LLC to provide for future access to a number of people. If several people own mineral rights or production royalties, an LLC is often used. That way one entity controls the asset even though owners may die and pass their interest on to others. If an estate has assets like real estate that cannot be divided equally, an LLC can provide a mechanism for distributing ownership shares of the land. Also, if a beneficiary needs time

to cash others out (like in a farming situation), an LLC can be used. Sometimes it is desirable to delay the sale of assets or provide benefits after the settlement of an estate. An LLC can serve as a useful tool to do that. But, as with a corporation, an LLC needs to be crafted to protect the minority owners. Thus, the LLC Operating Agreement needs to address issues such as the duration and the purpose of the LLC, the ability of one or more of the owners to sell before the LLC ends, who can become an owner in the LLC, the value of interest for liquidation or sale purposes, etc. In conclusion, when two or more beneficiaries participate in an asset, the LLC format has proven to be an easy, flexible and inexpensive vehicle to use in planning an estate. ________________ Attorney Ron Rutz will answer questions sent to 2625 Redwing Road, #180, Fort Collins, CO 80526; phone 223-8388; email rutz@ ronaldrutz.com ■

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4 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Published Locally Since 1980

Ghost Town Near Greeley

VOL. 28, NO. 10

email [email protected] www.theseniorvoice.net PUBLICATION INFORMATION The Senior Voice newspaper has been published locally the first of each month since 1980 for residents age 50-plus.

ADVERTISING Ad deadline is 20th of month. For rates, call 970-229-9204; or see www.theseniorvoice.net.

Wolfgang Lambdin Advertising Director Associate Publisher Fort Collins (970) 229-9204

SALES OFFICES:

Ft. Collins and Greeley (970) 229-9204 Loveland and Estes Park (970) 482-8344 EDITORIAL DEADLINE Announcements and stories must be received by the 10th of the month.; ads by the 20th of the month. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Senior Voice welcomes readers' letters and contributions. Enclose a self-addressed envelope and return postage to: The Senior Voice, 1471 Front Nine Drive, Fort Collins, CO 80525, or email [email protected]. The Senior Voice assumes no responsibility for damaged or lost material submitted by readers.

© Copyright 2008 The Senior Voice EDITORIAL OFFICE:

1471 Front Nine Drive Fort Collins, CO 80525 (970) 223-9271 email [email protected] www.theseniorvoice.net No material may be reproduced by any means without permission of the publisher.

Dr. William Lambdin, Publisher

Keota in the early 1900s. Photo Hazel E. Johnson Collection. By Bill Lambdin

T

he ghost town of Keota is northeast of Greeley on the plains near the Pawnee Buttes. It is a little settlement that once was home to Colorado pioneers. A post office was established there in 1888, and Ruth Stanley of Greeley was the last Keota postmaster in 1952. She said the Burlington Railroad ran through Keota from 1883 to 1888, bringing several settlers there. The town started to grow after 1890 when a number of homesteaders decided they could make a living farming in the area. “At the peak of Keota’s growth,” said Stanley, “there were four grocery stores, three cafes, a bank, hardware store, drugstore, blacksmith shop and two churches.” The town even had a literary program with meetings held every two weeks. Nearly all the farm wives participated. People would walk several miles to attend ball games and other activities. When a school was built, an Indian skeleton was unearthed. Many

people found artifacts around the town and at nearby Pawnee Buttes. The region had been home to Indian tribes for centuries, and ranchers later ran thousands of cattle on the grasslands before homesteaders arrived. But dry years, dust storms and a changing way of life drove most of the early farmers off the land. Keota went the way of many pioneer towns that depended on agriculture. By the 1950s, it was nearly a ghost town. “It was a little prairie place that meant many things to the people who once lived there,” said Ruth Stanley. They enjoyed a quiet, serene way of life that has almost disappeared in America. The nearby Pawnee Buttes were famous landmarks to pioneers crossing the plains in the l800s. Later they became recognized as one of the West’s finest fossil areas. Scientists found fossils of many animals they hadn’t known existed on this part of the continent. George A. Barker, who once taught geology at Colorado State College in Greeley (now UNC), took a deep interest in

the Pawnee Buttes and wrote many articles about them. He said, “All the country around them was once at the level of the top of the buttes and was removed later by the work of streams, leaving the buttes as lonely islets of the previous higher plain. Giant pigs once lived in this area, and their fossil remains can be seen in the Natural Museum of History in Denver.” Another person who found the Buttes fascinating was early Greeley judge George Bradfield. He wrote of the battles between the Utes and Sioux tribes in this region, when the Utes came down from the mountains to hunt buffalo on the plains. Many battles took place between the tribes around the Buttes. Once nearly 600 warriors were said to have been killed in a battle there. The area is a vast, lonely region reminding us of the awesome stretches of time that have passed in northern Colorado. ________________ COVER PICTURE: The Pawnee Buttes near Keota. Senior Voice photo. ■

The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 5

Colorful Lady Moon By Peggy Hunt

N

orman Fry was a Larimer County pioneer who settled in the Poudre Canyon in 1889 and left a record of what life was like then in a book he wrote long ago with his neighbor Eleanor Peterson, entitled “Cache la Poudre: The River.” Fry was born in England in 1872 and came to Colorado at age 17 to learn ranching. One of his neighbors along the Poudre River was Catherine Moon, a well known and colorful settler. He told her story: “Lady Moon gave us a lot to talk about. She first showed up as Mrs. Gartman, whose husband had homesteaded on the Upper Pine Creek... “One day Cecil Moon dropped by. He had come onto the local scene as a Remittance Man sent out from England...(Remittance Men came to learn ranching.)

“It soon became known that Cecil Moon was the oldest son and direct heir of his grandfather, Sir Richard Moon, (and) was in line for not only a baronet title but also a considerable estate. “Kate, too, heard the good news and...she decided to take a shot at romance. She made love to the young Englishman—not such a hard job as she was a handsome and well developed Irish lass. “She divorced her husband and was married to Cecil...Now we had Sir Cecil and Lady Moon in the neighborhood. “The Moons made a trip back to England in the early 1900s. Kate took along her cow pony; and from the reports that sifted back, she cut a wide swath through high English society, finding some other sporty dowagers to help her stir up scandal. “To get rid of her, the Moon family must have made arrangements to pension her off, and back she came to the United States. Sir

Cecil for some time vainly sought a divorce. Kate was not quite ready to kill the goose that laid the golden egg. “Eventually, however, terms were generously made, Cecil got his divorce and returned to England...Lady Moon and her affairs degenerated rapidly after her divorce from Cecil. “Among the rumors were those that she and one of her foremen were in cattle stealing to add to her revenues, and that they had burned down her home in order to collect insurance on it... “Eventually Lady Moon sold her property, though for some time keeping 160 acres on the head of the Pine. There her men manufactured bootleg whiskey, which she disposed of in (Fort Collins). “She died of alcoholic poisoning, I imagine, in the 1920s.” Norman Fry told many other interesting stories about pioneers before he died at age 82 in 1954. ■

Catherine “Lady” Moon in later years. Fort Collins Public Library.

T

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6 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Perfect Eyeglasses Prescription

“I found my ‘hole in one’ at Kirk Eye Center. The fit was perfect first time, and I see better than ever.”

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— Patty Seaser Fort Collins

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atty Seaser is a busy woman, and searching for the right eye doctor was a problem. She tried large and small practices, but didn’t get an accurate prescription or the attention she needed. After seeing Kirk Eye Center ads and a friend’s recommendation, she booked an appointment. “I was so impressed with the professional care of Dr. Colvin and the staff. They really listen and make you feel as if you are their only customer. Most of all, Dr. Colvin was ‘dead on’ first time with my prescription. Now I am seeing my best – whether it is golfing, skiing, or getting up close with reading or needlepoint.”

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eople often ask me, “What is the most important issue facing Northern Colorado?” Like everyone, I’m worried about the economy and about good paying jobs for our region. We don’t have to give away the farm to attract good jobs, but we do need sensible economic development efforts. One way to do that is by working for educational excellence. Whenever a company comes to our region, I ask them why they chose Northern Colorado. Invariably they say because of the great educational institutions here. We are fortunate to have excellent public schools and gems of higher education. Many of us came here because of the beauty of the environment. As more people move here, it will be a special challenge to maintain the quality of our air and water. This

past session, I worked on a bipartisan bill to protect our groundwater from possible uranium mining We have challenges before us. One is a transportation system that has not kept up with growth. Another is the issue of poverty in Larimer County. Not all of our citizens are sharing in the relative good times some of us are experiencing. Our social safety net is stretched in a state with a very tight budget. Services for the elderly and uninsured are under great strain as demand increases and state and federal money often decreases. But I am optimistic about the future of Northern Colorado, and I have hope that we will address our challenges successfully. ________________ You can call Sen. Johnson in Fort Collins, 223-8045. ■

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The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 7

Food Inspections A

merica’s food safety inspections are not working, say researchers with the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the Trust for America’s Health. Each year, 76 million Americans (1 in every 4) are sickened by food-borne illnesses such as salmonella and E.coli. The majority of our foods are imported from foreign countries, but less than 1 percent of it is inspected. Responsibilities are fragmented among 15 federal agencies, with regulations that make little sense, say researchers. For instance, the FDA is supposed to inspect pizzas; but if pizzas have meat in them, the Department of Agriculture is supposed to inspect them. “The major problem with the current food safety system is that no one person is in charge,” said Jeffrey Levi with the Trust for America’s Health. Food safety is a minor priority at the FDA and Department of Agriculture, he said. Our food supply is vulnerable

to terrorist attack, he added; but no one has done anything about it. In the past three years, the FDA cut 600 food inspectors from its staff. Part of the problem is that the FDA and other agencies refuse to release information about their inspections, said Levi. Consumer groups like the Food and Water Watch have to sue government agencies to get information and then try to force the agencies to do their jobs. A report from Johns Hopkins criticizes the extensive use of drugs given animals headed for the food supply. It also criticizes large feed lots that crowd together tens of thousands of animals, causing disease among them and contaminating human water supplies with animal waste. Many animals are put in small pens or cages that restrict movement and are force-fed to get them to market sooner. Most critics say food safety programs should be under a single agency. ■

Will Duct Tape Cure Warts?

S

ome researchers have said that common duct tape will cure warts, but a recent study reported in the Archives of Dermatology says that is not true. The average age of this study’s participants was 54 years, and most of them had been bothered by warts for years. Most had also tried other treatments such as liquid nitrogen and salicylic acid. Some of the warts treated with duct tape cleared up for a while,

but many returned within a few months. Researchers noted that earlier studies involved children, whose warts usually dissolve within a couple of years anyway. People who have warts as adults usually have them all of their lives. This study confirmed the suspicions of most dermatologists, who questioned the validity of earlier studies claiming that duct tape could cure warts. ■

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8 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Your Questions About Investing By Scott Burns Financial Writer

world for investment opportunities every minute. The result is a market that has no undiscovered havens.

Q: I’m 63, and my wife is 60. We are both retired. Our retirement and Social Security total about $5,000 a month. We have $220,000 in money markets drawing 5 percent, which are insured by the FDIC. We would like to earn about 8 percent on our savings. Any recommendations? A: Sorry, no recommendations. And if someone tells you he has an investment that will provide you with a safe 8 percent return, grab your wallet and run. While all of us would like to find some hidden, safe little gem of an investment, the reality is that millions of people are scouring the

Q: As a 56-year-old with 33 years of employment with a definedbenefit plan, my 401(k) ($200,000), my wife’s 401(k) ($330,000), additional savings of about $200,000 and no debt, I know we are better off than most. When I retire at age 60, I have two options for survivor benefits from my defined-benefit plan, 50 percent or 100 percent. The difference between the two options is a $350 monthly reduction in my starting pension. Since my wife is 47, I plan to select 100 percent. Is this a good choice?

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A: Yes. With you retiring at age 60 and with a nine-year age difference, your pension benefit will have much less purchasing power when the issue of survivor benefit comes around in 25 years or so. The 50 percent survivor benefit would be a slight cut in living standard on its own, since one person can’t live for half the price of two. Q: My financial planner is recommending that I move money from my company-managed pension fund to a managed account. The fee for this managed account is 2.5 percent. This seemed pretty high to me, but he indicated it was within standard. Can you elaborate on what fees are considered within a normal range and what would be considered high? A: Annual fees of 2.5 percent are typical of what “wrap” accounts seek to charge for relatively small portfolios. There is no relationship between a “normal” fee in financial services and whether we will benefit as investors. When people in financial services set their fees, they set them to meet their business plan. They don’t set them to meet our retirement plans. In general, the higher the fees, the poorer your long-term results will be. Here’s a list of typical fee levels: Hedge Funds. Designed for well-

off investors, these rapidly growing vehicles often charge 2 percent a year plus 20 percent of net profits. I think of them as “vanity capital,” something that appeals to people who truly have more money than brains. Variable Annuities. Due to the high cost of their chosen distribution system, this investment product generally has annual expenses of 2 percent to 2.5 percent and subjects all earnings to ordinary tax rates upon withdrawal. Traditional Investment Counsel Accounts. Here, investment advisers will manage portfolios of stocks and bonds for a decades-old standard fee of 1 percent of assets. Managed Mutual Funds. Most load funds now pay a 12b-1 “trail” fee that is supposed to support providing ongoing advice to the investor. A good adviser can guide you to a low-cost fund family (like the American Funds group), and your long-term cost of advice and fund management can be as low as 0.6 percent to 0.8 percent. Lifecycle Managed Funds. This path, now a common feature of 401(k) accounts, has a wide range of expenses, but they run from slightly over 1 percent at T. Rowe Price to just more than 0.30 percent at Vanguard. ________________ Scott Burns is a financial writer for the Dallas Morning News and other papers. ■

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The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 9

First Settlement in Colorado By Peggy Hunt

B

ent’s Fort was the first permanent settlement in Colorado and served the earliest mountain men and pioneers in the state. It was located on the Santa Fe Trail, the main route used by fur trappers and traders here for nearly 50 years from the early 1800s. William Bent, his brother Charles, and a trader named Ceran St. Vrain, built the fort about 1834 on the banks of the Arkansas River in southeastern Colorado, between the present-day towns of Las Animas and La Junta. William, born in 1809, had come to Colorado as a trapper at age 15 and built a small trading post near what is now Pueblo. A Cheyenne Indian, Yellow Wolf, convinced him that a better location would be farther east on the plains where he could trade with Indian tribes that followed the buffalo migrations. William married the daughter of a Cheyenne medicine man and spent part of each year living with her tribe. His friendship with the Indians ensured that several tribes would trade at the fort and that it would seldom be attacked. The fort served as a rendezvous point for trappers like Kit Carson, soldiers and travelers. In its heyday, it employed about 100 people. Its formidable adobe walls were three feet thick and 14 feet high. The inside compound measured about 140 feet by 120 feet, with corrals and other buildings extending from the sides.

An early artist’s drawing of Bent’s Fort in 1845. Colorado Historical Society. William Bent saw that the West As the Santa Fe Trail became a The Bent brothers and Ceran St. Vrain managed to establish a major trade route, huge freight was changing. The life the fur large trading empire along wagons lumbered into Bent’s Fort. trappers knew was disappearing. Colorado’s front range, building Indians traded buffalo hides that The U.S. government was making additional forts at several loca- were made into warm robes on the treaties with the tribes but East Coast. Soldiers bought breaking them as soon as it was tions. One was Fort St. Vrain south supplies and danced with Indian convenient. of Greeley. Bent tried to sell the fort to the girls. For years, their forts were the When the Mexican-American military, but negotiations dragged major gathering places for lonely trappers who came down from the War broke out in 1846, Stephen on so long that he simply abanmountains to trade their beaver Kearny brought 1,600 soldiers to doned it in 1849. Some said he Bent’s Fort before attacking Santa deliberately blew it up to keep the pelts for whiskey and supplies, and Fe and making New Mexico part military from using it. celebrate with friends. He spent much of his later life of the United States. Kearny then Sounds of laughter echoed across the clear night air on the appointed Charles Bent the first negotiating with government officials for fair treatment of Indians. plains. Campfires lighted the U.S. governor of New Mexico. The old fort was later rebuilt For years, Bent’s Fort was a weathered faces of the men who first saw the Rocky Mountains in thriving, bustling place on the and now stands as a National their wild, untamed state. Bent’s plains of Colorado. But the Historic Site. Nearby you can see Fort was the closest thing to home demand for beaver pelts and other wagon ruts cut deep into the Santa many of them would ever see after hides began to diminish in the Fe Trail by pioneers who sought a new life in the West. ■ 1840s. coming west.

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10 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

About Health Insurance

Colorado Crosswords By Tony Donovan

By U.S. Senator Ken Salazar

S

ome would have us believe that our healthcare system ranks among the best in the world, but the numbers tell a different story. We rank in the bottom half of developed nations for life expectancy and have an infant mortality rate more than twice our peers. With average insurance premiums at $12,000 a year, the costs of health care are crippling family budgets. Over 47 million Americans go without health insurance, 9 million of whom are children. These are signs of a broken health care system. Our work in the Senate Finance Committee has been focused on protecting health care access. We did this for retirees by fighting off proposed cuts to the Medicare and Medicaid programs. We recently passed legislation to

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improve access in rural communities, and we passed an expansion of the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Unfortunately, the president vetoed that proposal. I recently introduced legislation that aims to give consumers tools to make better-informed health care decisions. The Consumer Health Education and Transparency Act of 2008 would give consumers a guide to what is in an insurance plan and what is not. Just like when you buy a car and can find basic information about the product in a standard format, you should have a concise list of what’s in a health plan. This is one of several provisions in the bill that aims to give consumers information they need to make health care decisions. ________________ You can call Sen. Salazar’s Fort Collins office at 224-2200. ■

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ACROSS 1. 7. 14. 15. 16. 17. 19. 20. 21. 22. 24. 27. 31. 33. 35. 37. 39. 41. 42. 43. 45. 48. 53. 56. 57. 58. 61. 63. 64. 65. 66.

2.

Tunnel and railroad man ___ Lake off Hwy. 14 is located at Woods Landing turnoff “They’re not dead, they’re only playing like it.” “Chill out!” Bushes Ouray’s people “Op ___ “ Be on stage Urn contents Spanish force in 1588 Avalanche org. Winter highway hazards Constantly nag Points a gun Peace symbol Famous Ft. Morgan resident who went missing in WWII Sophia’s hello American ___. Octagonal directive Martin of the Nuggets Word before Castle or Raymer Hearty Shoes for Elvis or Pat Chemo fashion? Health ins. alternative Lighthouse apparel, often Grain or wheat remaining after washing to remove the starch Room with flora “Not this one! The ___ ___!” Summer virus threat Sen. Lott and others

DOWN 1.

___Pass is in southern Colorado

ANSWERS

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 18. 23. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 34. 38. 40. 44. 46. 47. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 59. 60. 62.

San Miguel County site is a mining community with a name of a biblical origin This post originally protected settlers along the South Platte River stage route Gator’s foe (abbr.) “Cheer up! It can’t be ___ ___ as that!” Under the ___ Sun The Rams, in Ft. Collins, briefly Part of a “Dead Man’s Hand” The “___ Cabrini Shrine” in west Denver Rifle dimension Yale students Prime follower Good wintertime crock pot meal Seat or use follower Off roader Chief Left ___ (Niwot) Stranded motorist’s haven on I-70 during many winters Computer user’s acronym Caesar’s time to worry in March Town between Gilcrest and Brighton on Hwy. 85 Ooze Denver mayor, to friends Feign or stratagem ___High Stadium Diarist Anais___. Roadside mine (abbr.) Twenty-___ ___ salute Joe___Reservoir near Cameron Pass Earl Grey, for one Peeping Tom Tired Ring or dial follower Long___ Reservoir in RMNP Elton John and Michael Caine Apartment or condo section Actress Moore Consumed Caviar Actress Mary___(Where Eagles Dare)

Colorado Crosswords are created exclusively for The Voice by Tony Donovan, who lives in Loveland.

The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 11

Early School Days

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A one-room school in about 1908. Courtesy Arlene Ahlbrandt.

S

ome people might remember a one-room school. At one time, a teacher could get a certificate with a short course. Some teachers’ colleges, called “normal schools” like the one in Greeley (now UNC), issued certificates with two-year degrees. Some young female teachers found conditions harsh and the life lonely, with strict rules for behavior. They were not allowed to smoke, drink liquor, go into pool halls or do many other things. They did the janitorial work— brought in coal for the pot-belly stove, water from the well or cistern, and performed other chores. The textbook in the early 1900s was the McGuffey Reader. It not only taught children to read, it also taught discipline, patriotism, morals, and some Bible lessons. William H. McGuffey published the first of four readers in the late 1800s. His brother Alexander McGuffey had the fifth and sixth editions published. Between the late 1800s and 1920 over 120 million copies of the readers were sold. Teachers often rang a bell to call students to class. Some schools had a bell on top of the building, and every student wanted to pull the rope that rang the bell. There were no hot lunches. Kids carried lunch pails (made from lard or syrup buckets).

Children usually walked a mile or so to school. Some rode a horse or buggy. There was a often a barn or shed behind the school—along with the outhouses. ■

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12 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Historic Figure F

rancis E. Warren was probably the most powerful politician who ever held office in Wyoming. He arrived in Cheyenne in 1868, a bold and brash young soldier who had won the Medal of Honor during the Civil War. He found farming in Massachusetts too tame and came West to find fame and fortune. And find it he did! When he died

in Washington, D.C., in 1929, he had served in the United States Senate longer than any other member and he had amassed a fortune. As a young man in Cheyenne, he went into the mercantile business, which prospered due to the amount of merchandise needed in the growing city. When he was just 31 years old, he was elected mayor of

By Margaret Laybourn

Cheyenne. In 1890 he was elected the first Governor of the State of Wyoming. He served as governor only three months when he was elected to the United States Senate, serving until 1893 when he lost his seat due to his support of the cattlemen during the Johnson County War. He regained his seat in 1895 and served until his death. After the death of his wife, Warren’s beautiful daughter Frances became his hostess at his home and at his office. She married Captain John J. Pershing in 1905 in a ceremony that was elaborate even by Washington standards. Several years later President Theodore Roosevelt promoted Pershing from captain to brigadier general over 900 senior officers and put him in command of World War I army forces. His father-in-law, Warren, was then chairman of the powerful Military Appropriations Committee. Warren’s daughter and her three young children died in a tragic fire in

Wyoming’s Francis E. Warren. San Francisco while her husband was in the Mexican War. She and the children are buried in Cheyenne’s Lakeview Cemetery. Warren Air Force Base was named for the powerful politician in 1930, and his legacy lives on to this day in legislation he passed that gave large landholders irrigation and reclamation rights. ■

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The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 13

It Wasn’t Lady Luck That Destroyed Him By Bill Lambdin

B

ulkeley Wells had money, good looks and any woman he wanted in early Colorado—but he messed with the wrong women.

He graduated from Harvard with an engineering degree in 1893 and married the beautiful Grace Livermore of Boston. Her millionaire father made Wells manager of one of his investments, the Smuggler-Union Mine at Telluride, Colorado.

of several mining ventures in the West. For 20 years, Wells served as director of at least 60 mining companies for his father-in-law and Harry Whitney in Colorado, Nevada and California. He was riding high and making millions. But he had two dangerous weaknesses—women and gambling. While married to Grace in Boston, he maintained a longtime affair with Mrs. Crawford Hill in Denver. She

Denver expected Wells to marry her because her husband had died. Instead he married a younger woman, Virginia Schmidt, a beautiful blonde from Nevada. Mrs. Hill was furious and remarked to a friend, “I’ll break him.” And she did by convincing Wells’ only other financial backer, Harry Payne Whitney, to withdraw support and cancel Wells’ positions with various mining companies.

Wells couldn’t take it. He had a lovely wife, but he was headed for bankruptcy. In 1931 he went to his office, took a pistol from his desk, and shot himself. He left a note to his closest friend: “As a result of all my difficulties and worries, my mind is bound to go…Do what you can for Mrs. Wells.” It wasn’t Lady Luck that destroyed him. It was the other women. ■

08-09 Seminar Schedule Month September October November December January February March April May June July August Bulkeley Wells. Colorado Historical Society. The mine produced millions of dollars in profits. Wells visited it only occasionally, preferring to live among high society with his wife in Boston. They had four children. On one of his visits to Telluride, miners were angry during a strike and tried to assassinate Wells. They put a bomb under his bed. It went off, blew the wall out of the side of the house, and knocked Wells into the yard. But he somehow escaped injury. He returned to the East and later became involved in a high-stakes card game at a wealthy men’s club in New York. He won, and one of the men was impressed by Wells’ cool manner as a gambler. The man was New York millionaire Harry Payne Whitney. He liked Wells’ engineering and mining experience and decided to put him in charge

was married to one of the wealthiest men in Colorado, but that didn’t matter. In fact, her husband seemed not to care. She had a life-size portrait of the handsome Wells prominently displayed in her home. Mrs. Hill was the leader of Denver society and a frequent visitor to the East. Eventually word got around of her affair, and Wells’ wife found out. She divorced him, and her father immediately withdrew financial support from Wells, who had begun to take risks in mining ventures and was losing heavily. He lost $5 million trying to revive the famous old Comstock Mine in Miles City, Montana. He established the First National Bank in Telluride, and it went broke, as did most of his other ventures. After his divorce, Mrs. Hill in

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14 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Stories About Early Greeley (Editor’s Note: Greeley historian Hazel E. Johnson wrote the following story years ago.) By Hazel Johnson

H

orace Greeley was noted for his deplorable handwriting even before he helped found the town of Greeley in 1870.

During his editorship of the New York Tribune, he received a manuscript from a middle-aged lady poet. The poem was so inferior that Greeley scrawled his personal rejection, advising the woman to stick to wifely chores. Several days later, he received a phone call from the would-be poet: “Oh, Mr. Greeley,” she

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exclaimed breathlessly. “It took me some time to make out your letter. But now that I have, I’ve decided to accept your proposal of marriage.” Greeley was extremely proud of the New York Tribune, and woe to anyone who said anything against it. One morning while on vacation, he was seated at a hotel idly scanning the columns of his Tribune. A stranger next to him expressed disapproval of the paper. “I used to read that sheet, but now I subscribe to a decent paper,” said the stranger. “I feed the Tribune to my goat. That’s all it’s good for.” Greeley regarded the man with scorn and said, “Is that so? Well, sir, you keep reading your other paper and feeding your goat the Tribune, and one of these days your goat will know more than you do.” One early Greeley resident said, “When I came to Greeley, I was told there were only three opinions there: the right, the wrong, and J. Max Clark’s.” Clark’s granddaughter, Dorothy Gardiner, agreed and told about the time he went to California to see his daughter. J. Max always tried to get business matters under control before leaving, especially paying his federal income tax. He had the idea that his tax had to be paid from Greeley. This time there was a slip up. While in California, he received an IRS notice of taxes due, with a deadline. The family tried to convince him the matter could be handled from California, but nothing would do but that he write the IRS a letter: “Dear Sirs, I have your letter telling me I have to be in Greeley to pay my tax...I would state that I am 87 years old, that I marched with Uncle Billy Sherman from Atlanta to the Sea and was wounded three times. “I’ll be damned if I go back to Greeley before I’m ready, and damned if I pay my taxes till I get

Horace Greeley in the late 1800s. Hazel Johnson Collection. there, and be damned to you and Uncle Sam.” We talk of the independent spirit of pioneers. J. Max Clark certainly had it. ■

The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 15

Indian Battles in Early Wyoming By Bill Lambdin

H

ere are some of the important Indian battles in early Wyoming. 1854, August 20, Lakota warrior High Forehead shot an old, lame cow for food. It belonged to a white man with a wagon train passing by Fort Laramie on the Oregon Trail. Lt. John Grattan went out with 30 soldiers to arrest the Indian. An argument grew heated, and Grattan’s troops opened fire. Several hundred Indians responded, killing Lt. Gratten and all 30 of his men. Chief Brave Bear was the only Indian killed. The incident might have been caused by two things: Lt. Grattan was young, inexperienced and eager to show that he could deal with Indians. His interpreter, Auguste Lucien, hated Indians and might have distorted remarks made on both sides. The interpreter also might have been drunk. 1854, November 13, after Chief Brave Bear was killed in the above battle, his brother Red Leaf and some braves wanted revenge and headed for the Overland Trail. Near present-day Torrington, they encountered a stage coach and attacked it, killing three men and taking a metal box containing $20,000 in gold. The money was never found. 1865, July 26, near present-day Casper, about 1,000 Cheyenne and Lakota warriors attacked Lt. Caspar Collins and 25 troops sent out from a post called Platte Bridge to protect a wagon train. The Indians killed Lt. Collins and four other soldiers. More soldiers were sent from the post, and the Indians killed six of them. The rest of the troops retreated to safety behind the post walls. The town of Casper was named for Lt. Caspar Collins (with a spelling change). He might have escaped death that day if he had not stopped to help a soldier during the attack. The soldier’s horse was shot, and Collins was helping him onto his own horse when the Indians caught up with them and killed them. 1865, July 26, the same day as the above attack, the army wagon

train Lt. Collins was sent to protect was attacked a few miles to the west. Sgt. Amos Custard (not Custer) was in charge of the wagons and 25 soldiers. He was told by a passing patrol that Indians had attacked the Platte Bridge post, but he stubbornly replied, “We’re going to Platte Bridge in spite of all the redskins this side of hell.” That was a deadly bit of bravado. Warriors killed Custard and all of his men except three. Some of the soldiers were tortured horribly before dying. 1866, July 20, about 50 warriors attacked Lt. George Templeton and 29 soldiers who were escorting some wives and children of soldiers to Fort Phil Kearny north of Casper. Templeton was scouting ahead when the warriors shot him in the back with an arrow. He managed to get back to the wagons and help defend against the attack. The warriors might have killed them but, fortunately, another wagon train with Capt. Thomas Burrowes and 47 men happened to come along. Only two soldiers were killed in the battle. 1866, December 21, the Fet terman Massacre occurred north of Casper near Fort Phil Kearny when about 1,000 warriors led by Crazy Horse attacked Capt. William Fetterman and his 80 soldiers. Fetterman had been ordered by the fort commander not to go beyond a certain ridge, but he did in eagerness to pursue a band of warriors, who led him into a trap. Fetterman and every one of his 80 men were killed. A monument still stands at the battle site. 1867, August 2, north of Casper near what is now the town of Story, Chief Red Cloud and hundreds warriors attacked troops and civilians who were cutting wood for Fort Phil Kearny. The intense fighting lasted for hours, during which seven soldiers and civilians were killed; Indian casualties were approximately 30. All of the whites probably would have been killed if more troops had not arrived with a canon from Fort Kearny. The battle was known as the Wagon Box Fight. 1876, November 25, after

A monument stands at the Fetterman Massacre site north of Casper near where Fort Phil Kearny was located. Wyoming History Museum. Custer’s defeat at the Little Big Horn, the army was determined to punish the tribes. Col. Ranald Mackenzie and 1,100 soldiers found Chief Dull Knife with 200 Cheyenne tepees and 400 warriors camped near the Powder River north of Casper. The troops attacked; and the warriors fought ferociously on a very cold day, knowing that if their

lodges and supplies were destroyed, their families would die in the winter. The soldiers scattered the warriors and burned the entire camp. Historians said that night the temperature dropped to 30 degrees below zero and 11 Indian babies froze to death. Atrocities on both sides made the Indian wars as despicable as any other war. ■

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16 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Influence Peddling By Bill Lambdin

D

rug companies should not be allowed to influence medical research at universities or bribe healthcare providers so they will prescribe certain drugs. That’s the recommendation of the Association of American Medical Colleges. The recommendation came as a response to recent reports in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) and other publications that show how some academic researchers and providers are influenced by drug companies. Conflicts of interest can “distort decision-making and create the perception among colleagues, students, trainees and the public that practitioners are being ‘bought’ or ‘bribed’ by the industry,” said the Association report. JAMA researchers found that some university professors are indeed being bought. Some put their names on articles that were written by Merck employees extolling the virtues of the drug Vioxx, which was later found to cause heart attacks and withdrawn from the market by the FDA. The professors allowed the articles

to be published under their names in respectable medical journals, a deliberate deception in the view of JAMA editors. “When integrity in medical science or practice is impugned or threatened— such as by the influence of industry—patients, clinicians and researchers are all at risk for harm, and public trust in research is jeopardized,” said the editors. The Association of American Medical Colleges says drug companies spend billions of dollars trying to influence doctors with free trips, consulting fees, etc. In fact, drug companies spend more on that than on research and advertising. Rob Restuccia directs a nonprofit group that wants to eliminate such conflicts of interest. “Most medical schools do not have strong conflict-ofinterest policies,” he said. He hopes recommendations from the Association will encourage universities to not allow professors to be influenced by drug companies. But some people doubt that will happen. Former Merck executive Roy Vagelos said university professors like the benefits drug companies offer and will resist change. ■

Medicare Part D Premiums

T

he average monthly premium for Medicare Part D will increase to $28 in 2009, say federal Medicare officials. Part D is the Medicare program that covers prescription drugs. The $28 premium is $3 more than the average premium paid by participants in 2008. It is possible for some people to pay a lower premium if they are willing to shop around among the many drug companies offering Part D coverage.

Medicare officials said the increase is 37 lower than they projected in 2003 when Part D was introduced. That is due in part to competition among drug companies, they said. “Part D continues to come in under budget, achieve consistently high satisfaction rates, and with it millions of Americans are living healthier lives,” said Kerry Weems, administrator for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. ■

Gap in Medicare Coverage

I

n 2007, about 3.5 million Medicare participants reached the socalled “doughnut hole” (coverage gap) for Part D drug coverage that required them to pay all of their drug costs, according to research by the Kaiser Family Foundation. That was 26 percent of all Part D participants who filled a prescription in 2007. About 22 percent remained in the gap and paid all of their drug costs for the remainder of the year. Only 4

percent reached the point at which coverage resumed and Medicare again began paying for most of their drugs. Many who reached the gap stopped taking their medicines, said researchers. Those most affected had chronic diseases like Alzheimer’s and diabetes. The study did not include lowincome participants who receive subsidies and don’t face a gap in coverage. ■

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The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 17

Local Events and Exhibits Changes Needed at the FDA? Historic Homes Tour • 24th annual Fort Collins historic homes tour, September 13, 10 am. For tickets and information, call 484-7137. Red Feather Lakes Library • Travelogue “Song of Ireland” by Betty Sailors, September 11; author Marilyn Colter, September 13; log cabin chinking by Red Feather Historical Society, September 20; caregiver presentation, September 25. Ongoing programs on computers; knitting; writers’ group; art; book discussions; healthy eating; and more. Call 881-2664.

Waterworks Tour • Fort Collins Historic Waterworks building tour, plus gold panning and other demonstrations. September 13, 2005 North Overland Trail, 10 am. 482-7201. Wyoming Historical Society • Annual meeting at Gillette, September 5-6. Public is welcome to attend several historical presentations. Call 307-682-2694; email [email protected]. For futuremeeting dates more information, email [email protected]. ■

T

he FDA is “too cozy” with the drug companies it is supposed to regulate, says Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). He and some other congressmen like Rep. John Dingell (D-Michigan) want legislation that would require the FDA to fine drug companies for safety violations, regulate drug advertising, inspect drug-making facilities, and do other things to protect the public interest. “There’s a total inability of the FDA

to carry out its mission,” said Grassley. He and others want a new FDA director who will make the agency independent of the industries it regulates. Pharmaceutical companies are fighting changes wanted by Grassley and others. Bill Tauzin, president of the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, told the Wall Street Journal there is no need for major changes at the FDA. But he said he doesn’t want “embarrassing hearings in Congress.” ■

Research on Angioplasty

D

rugs alone may be as effective as artery-opening angioplasty for many people with non-emergency heart disease, according to a recent report in the New England Journal of Medicine. Researchers compared the two treatments in nearly 2,300 non-emergency patients who had stable coronary disease. They concluded that angioplasty patients had a higher quality of life for a few months after the surgery; but beyond that time, patients who did not have the surgery and just took

medicine did as well. Those patients also avoided the risks typically associated with surgery. Angioplasty costs much more than treatment with medicines alone, and it appears to offer no significant gain in years of survival or quality of life, said researchers. Lead researcher for the study was Dr. William S. Weintraub, chief of cardiology at the Christiana Health Care System in Delaware. ■

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18 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Blood Clots After Surgery

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eople who have surgery in a hospital might possibly be at risk of having a blood clot later at home that could be very serious, according to research reported in the American Journal of Hematology. Blood blockages in veins are a much bigger problem for surgery patients than previously thought, said researchers who studied several million patient records. Any surgery can cause blockages if patients are not given preventive treatment. The rate of problems is especially high for patients who have hip and knee surgery, or any orthopedic surgery. About 9 out of 10 orthopedic surgery patients are “at risk,” said researchers. Of other surgery patients, the study said nearly 25 percent were at “high risk” of having blockages, and 17 percent were at “very high risk.” Previous research had not connected deaths at home with blockages from a previous surgery, but this study said the association is likely and that more patients should be given preventive treatment before they leave

a hospital. Deaths at home are often diagnosed as heart attacks. But when researchers looked to see if the deceased people had a recent surgery, they found that those who did might have died because of a blocked vein. They concluded that the cause of death among people who die at home is, in many cases, misdiagnosed. “The mass of outpatients who develop pulmonary embolism had been hospitalized or had some medical procedure during the past 90 days,” said researchers. The blockages often occur in leg vessels (deep vein thrombosis) or in a lung artery (pulmonary embolism). Other studies have said that up to 10 percent of in-hospital deaths may be caused by pulmonary embolism. Researchers said the risk factors include any surgery, a hospital stay of two days or more, any operation involving anesthesia, and being older. The study was conducted by researchers at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. ■

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he Medicare Part D drug program has helped many retirees, but not enough, say some analysts. Many low-income retirees still cannot afford their medicines, especially those who reach the coverage gap that requires them to pay all of their drug costs between $2,250 and $5,100. Few can afford to pay the nearly $3,000 required before Part D picks up again and covers most of their drug costs. That’s the conclusion of a recent

survey of over 24,000 retirees reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). “This study reveals that the federal government has more work to do to assure that the Medicare Part D program meets the needs of the most vulnerable Medicare beneficiaries,” said Gail Shearer with Consumers Union. “It is unacceptable that the sickest beneficiaries may not be filling prescriptions...because they simply can’t afford to.” ■

Study of Lasik Surgery O fficials with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration say they will examine patient satisfaction with LASIK surgery (laser-assisted in-situ keratomileusis) after nearly 150 people complained to the FDA about problems with the procedure between 1998 and 2006. It is used to reshape the eyes’ corneas, making them less dependent on glasses or contact lenses. Complaints involve blurred vision, double vision, glare, and pain. FDA official Daniel Schultz said

by far most people who have the procedure are satisfied with it. Those who complained sometimes said they thought their surgeon should have told them they were poor candidates for the procedure, or warned them of possible side effects. The FDA’s study of patient satisfaction will involve the American Academy of Ophthalmology, the National Eye Institute, and the American Society of Cataract and Refractive Surgery. ■

The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 19

Treatment of Heart Failure

S

ome researchers say an extract from the leaves of the hawthorn tree might extend the lives of patients suffering from congestive heart failure. The study was presented at a meeting of the American College of Cardiology. The extract is a natural antioxidant that has been used in parts of Europe for patients whose hearts cannot pump enough blood to the body’s organs. Researchers said patients who

received the extract had a 20 percent reduction in cardiac-related deaths. “It postpones death of cardiac cause after 18 months and sudden cardiac death in an important subgroup of patients,” said Dr. Christian Holubarsh, lead investigator of the study that was sponsored by the Germany-based Dr. Willmar Schwabe Group. The hawthorn tree originated in Europe and also grows throughout north America. ■

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Women Doctors More Attentive?

F

emale doctors seem to do a better job of getting their patients to control blood pressure and cholesterol than male doctors, according to a research report from the American College of Cardiology. This was true for both male and female patients. In the study, researchers examined the records of over 6,000 patients. About 70 percent of the doctors studied were men; 30 percent were women. Researcher Journath Gunilla said

the reason women doctors are more successful might be that they are more likely to prescribe lipidlowering statins for patients. Women doctors also might have better communication skills and more effective people skills than male doctors, Gunilla said. They also might simply be more attentive. Whatever the reasons, “Female physicians more often reach their treatment goals,” said Gunilla. ■

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Invest in Annuities? By Scott Burns Financial Writer

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Q: I wonder if single-premium immediate annuities (SPIAs) are for me. I am 75; my wife is 73. We have no debt, $850,000 in IRAs (mostly in the American Fund family) and $150,000 in a ROTH, again with American. We also have $150,000 in CDs and money markets in taxable accounts. We live decently on Social Security, pensions and my IRA minimum required distributions. I don’t feel I can think long-term investments; so I want to avoid some market risk. SPIAs have come to my attention via an AARP offer with NY Life. I am considering spreading some of my funds around in laddered SPIAs. Is this a good idea? Most financial advisers I have spoken with jump immediately to variable annuities (with “living benefits”), I suspect due to larger commissions. A: You’re on the right track and, yes, the sales people who promote the living-benefit route are receiving

Study of Medicare’s Website

handsome commissions. You can reduce your risk and possibly increase your estate by doing exactly what you suggest: laddering a number of singlepremium life annuities. While the principal will be gone, your current monthly payments will increase. Less (or none) of your required minimum distributions will need to come from liquidating equity investments. You’ll get the security of a solid monthly income, and your equity investments may grow with less risk of being sold in a down market. Research has shown that using some amount of SPIAs is a good option for all households, including those with a desire to leave some money to heirs. As I pointed out in an earlier column, the expenses of a popular living-benefit product are so high that you’d be far better off dividing your existing money between a life annuity and regular low-cost mutual funds. ________________ Scott Burns will answer some questions of general interest sent to [email protected]. ■

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ost people who use Medicare’s website find it confusing, say researchers at the University of Miami. They asked over 100 computerliterate people age 50-plus to do things on the website like enroll in the Medicare Part D drug program and select a drug plan that would fit their needs. Over 72 percent of participants had trouble performing that task. When asked to select a home health care plan based on the website’s information, 84 percent had trouble sorting through Medicare’s information. The researchers concluded that the website is of little value to most Medicare beneficiaries. Other analysts reached the same conclusion. Robert Hayes, president of the Medicare Rights Center (a consumer advocacy group), said part of the problem is that the entire Medicare program is too complicated for most Americans—including congressmen—to understand. Federal Medicare officials did not agree with the researchers’ conclusions. ■

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The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 21

The Strange Story of Slim Hecox By Bill Lambdin

T

he Paradox Valley west of Telluride, Colorado, was one of the last vestiges of the Old West. Outlaws frequented the place even in the early 1900s because it was so isolated and far from the law. It was where Slim Hecox made a fatal mistake in 1921. He was a watchman at a mine and thought of himself as a gunslinger, wearing a .44 six-shooter and always bragging about how fast he was. He also said he was related to Wild Bill Hickok and that his last name of Hecox was an altered spelling of that famous gunman’s name. People who knew Slim said he was a good shot, but they doubted most of the stories he told—like being a Hickok relative and a former member of the Jesse James gang. Slim always wore a money belt that contained about $3,000. Locals could verify that because he showed the money to people when he was drunk, according to historian Wilson Rockwell. His friends tried to convince him not to wear the money belt, but he ignored their advice, patting his six-shooter and saying, “Old Slim can take care of himself.” But that turned out to be an empty boast when a gang of thieves headed by Jim Gassoway befriended Slim and accompanied him to his cabin one night. While some of them sat inside with him, one stood outside next to a window.

Early settlers in western Colorado. Colorado Historical Society. When Slim sat down by the window—bang! A bullet went through his head. The gang then cut off his head, took it with them and left the body. Local people buried the headless body. Some lawmen later arrived and eventually caught the thieves, who explained why they had cut off Slim’s head and buried it in a ditch miles away. They intended to take over the valley, they said, by killing or scaring off the settlers. They decided that their identifying mark would be cutting off the heads of their victims, and Slim happened to be the first. The gang leader, Jim Gassoway,

Sign of Age: You tell a friend you’re having and affair, and she asks if you’re having it catered.

was sentenced to life in prison. He later escaped and was never caught. Locals dug up Slim’s body, intending to put his head back where it belonged. But they couldn’t. His cheap wooden coffin

had been made to fit the body without a head. They put it in the crook of his arm—so it looked as if he was holding his head in his arm. It was strange. ■

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22 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

Research on Colon Cancer

S

ome researches believe that blueberries contain a natural antioxidant that might help prevent colon cancer, according to the American Chemical Society. Blueberries contain the antioxidant pterostilbene, which is also found in red wine and grapes. But blueberries contain higher amounts of the antioxidant than grapes. Other studies have claimed that pterostilbene might also lower cholesterol levels. Colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths

in the United States. Researchers generally link it to a diet that is low in fruits and vegetables but high in meats and saturated fats. Researchers in this study, conducted at Rutgers University, suggested including more blueberries in diets. “This study underscores the need to include more berries in the diet, especially blueberries,” said Dr. Bandaru S. Reddy, chemical biologist at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

■

Are There Benefits to Chocolate?

J

ust as we were celebrating the news that chocolate is good for us, a report in the medical journal Lancet says maybe it’s not. Only very dark chocolate that is likely to be bitter tasting contains enough antioxidants to be beneficial, says the report. Most milk chocolate contains very few antioxidants; white chocolate contains none. That means the bad calories and fat may outweigh the good things. Some previous studies had said

the antioxidants (called flavonoids) in dark chocolate improved the function of blood vessels. But again that was only dark chocolate containing antioxidants. Manufacturers usually add ingredients like sugar that make chocolate sweet tasting, and those ingredients diminish the beneficial effects. Researchers suggest we buy chocolate with the fewest added ingredients. Many chocolate lovers will probably just ignore the study. ■

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About Your Social Security Benefits By Michael Hollis, Director Social Security Office, Greeley

W

hen is the best time to start receiving Social Security benefits? We have published a new fact sheet to help you make the decision. “When To Start Receiving Retirement Benefits” is available online at www.socialsecurity.gov/ pubs/10147.html. Things to consider are your current cash needs, health, whether you plan to work after you retire, future financial needs, and the amount of your benefit and other income such as pensions and deductions from retirement funds. About one out of every four 65year-olds today will live past age 90, and one out of 10 will live past age 95. If you decide to retire early, say at 62, you’ll get your benefits sooner; but you’ll get a reduced benefit for the rest of your life. Your decision can affect your

family, too. If you die before your spouse and dependent children do, they may be eligible for survivors’ benefits. If you took early retirement, their payments would be based on your reduced benefit amount. When you reach your full retirement age, you can work and earn as much as you want and still receive your full Social Security benefit payment. If you are younger than full retirement age and if your earnings exceed certain dollar amounts, some of your benefit payments during the year will be withheld. And when thinking about Social Security, don’t forget Medicare. You should sign up for Medicare three months before reaching age 65, no matter when your full retirement age is—even if you decide to delay retirement benefits. Otherwise, your Medicare insurance, as well as prescription drug coverage, could be delayed, and you could be charged higher premiums. ■

The Senior Voice • September 2008 • 23

Laughter Is the Best Medicine A

t a high school, some students played a prank by letting three goats loose inside the school. They painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, 4. The principal spent all day looking for goat number 3. Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You may not speak until told to do so.”

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for five years before the priest said to her, “You have been here five years. You may speak two words.” She said, ‘“Hard bed.’” “We’ll get you a better bed.” After another five years, the priest said, “You may say another two words.” “Cold food.” “We’ll get you better food.” On her 15th anniversary at the

MORRISON’S MEDITATIONS

By Gaylord Morrison

No person is useless. He can serve as a bad example. A young man worked as a janitor, collecting dirt. With that training, he now writes political speeches. Some soap operas need to be cleaned up. Make a list of friends. Forget your enemies. ■

monastery, the priest said, “You may say two words.” She said, “I quit.” “It’s probably just as well,” said the priest. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.” Why men get along better with dogs than with wives: The later you come home, the more excited dogs are to see you. Dogs don’t care if you call them by another dog’s name. They like it if you leave things on the floor. A dog’s parents never visit. If a dog has babies, you can give them away. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff. George stepped out of the shower and said to his wife, “It’s too hot today to wear clothes. What do you suppose the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” She said, “Probably that I married you for your money.”

How do you keep your husband from reading your email? Name the folder “Instruction Manual.” Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don’t ask for directions. She said, “Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise,’ I wash my mouth out with chocolate.” Two little boys were in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid asked the other, “What are you here for?” “To get my tonsils out.” “I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” The second kid asked, “What are you here for?” “A circumcision.” “Wow, good luck! I had that done when I was born, and I couldn’t walk for a year!” ■

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24 • September 2008 • The Senior Voice

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