The Man With Confused Eyes

The Man With Confused Eyes

©2006 TOTIC Texts ISBN # 978-1-4116-8208-5

"I don't believe in the Book of the Law" - C.J.

Introduction Personal ramblings, musings, and mumblings. Those words possibly describe this present work. I've found, during the writing of this text that an intimate approach is beneficial, and makes for some inspired reading. Not that I'm one to toot my own horn, but indeed, that is what this "Author's Note" is for. Herein, what is now affectionately termed by myself as "T.M.W.C.E.", you will discover some heavy topics. Whimsical artifice may show itself also. But, what is it all in total? I don't really know, to be quite honest. The sum of all the parts are certainly large, as the whole is just a slim paperback tome. All kidding aside, this book is part of an evolution rather than a proposed, televised revolution (although that would be nice also). Reading some of what is here may lead you all to believe that I'm either candid, or crazy, or both. Recent events, and I mean some global fucking recent events, have come up and distorted my view a bit of my own world, as it does to any human with cable t.v. and/or the internet. We're all as experienced as the next guy, if you believe anything Ouspensky said. Dream on and you won't be disappointed. Wake up and you'll die a slow death. The facade and charade of life on this rock sets some free as quickly as walking in front of a speeding bus. Maybe that will be the title of my next book. --Randall Pike 2006

New Political Farce (A More Than One Sided Magickal Dialogue) Power begets downfall. It is ever apparent that a demise is much more common and entertaining than a long, prosperous reign. A fall from grace need not be quick or slow. It's the classic misery of the situation that amuses the masses. Popular culture's view and definition of despair changes and progresses rapidly throughout the minutes, so we must constantly upgrade our notion of just what pain is. Pain, for all intents and purposes, is transcendental. Pain purifies. In the face of extreme evil, pain may wash one's slate clean, to start again. Although we may begin anew, our position upon the totem pole is dramatically lower, yet our dignity is replenished, albeit slowly. So, in essence, we lose our grace all over again while kissing those asses which we spat upon in an earlier incarnation. Welcome to the world of politics. Fuck dignity, I say. If we are to celebrate talent, courage, and genius via corrupt and unworthy vessels, we do a disservice to our own roles within popular eugenics. Society today is doomed to utter failure simply by pure mediocrity, thus ending any occult geek's (my) hope of a Satanic race ruling the universe. The demise begins today, and will last throughout our time here, until the bitter end. We, in turn, admire the now-powerful. Even if we do not worship them we must at least accept our lot in life, and try to fight the system from the inside. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em"? Hardly. The ones who stab you in the back with a smile must die first. Infiltration of the chambers of so-called enlightenment must proceed without prejudice, yet with extreme disregard for ignorance, and arrogance, misplaced so called. Yes, arrogance is a virtue, but only to those who know of its value. The true magician will use avarice, and his other egomaniacal tools when destroying the armies lined up against him. Light may shine, but darkness is everything. This may sound like a very grim prospect, but remember that paradise is a void, unlike the Garden of Eden. A formless black hole filled with hope, but no man shall

ever enter. We, as humans, are stuck in our plight. The moon may become new real estate for us, as parasites, but the masses will never lead, and we will die anyway. Death, that is, physical decay, is the only thing that frightens the christian man. Hope of the ever-wonderful afterlife is what drives the bastards to work, and is what lurks within the congressional adulterer’s abode. I have never met a man that didn't deserve to die, including myself, at one point or another. The difference between the Magus, and the mundane, is that twain are the former's forces, and the latter ceases to comprehend either of them. The bending of reality, even of political anti-reality, is the task of the adept these days. Ritual workings involving semantics, clever word play, and things of an experimental nature must be mastered in the twenty-first century, if we are to break free. I, my friends, am not averse to a society bring formed that can upstage, and turn upside down, the fates I have predicted. Let us rise against! However, it is never that simple. I can, from a grand perch atop my own moderately developed psyche, foresee a time when we are on the brink of extinction. This dreadful epoch may come many hundreds of years into the future, but in terms of humanity, is completely inevitable as if it were happening tomorrow. I have not, and will not, offer a solution to our problem. It is beyond my own limited mortality to do so. However, a rallying cry must be heard. It must, therefore, be shouted out loud. A chance for change, to rid the world of christianity, and Nazarene imagery, is essential, and possible. Such a movement would create a new slate, to be filled with Satanic churches, Thelemic law and order, and a citizenship of powerful, carnal, and aethyric common sense. Alas, the world, or at least America, is not ruled by common sense. Money and oil are the true powers of the powerful, as it has been for many years. Inept, inadequate war-mongers use their wealth to better their own ends, tightening their grip on the ones they rule over, and evidently rely upon. Democracy be damned, there is no freedom, only complacency. Martial law is a few seconds away, however, if we remain dazed by our current status, contributing to an imminent culture crash. Our own rebellion must spark something big. We must react to our poorly elected officials, and speak out. War within impoverished nations is not the answer. War on dogma, doctrine, and christianity is,

however, the necessary way to enact change. Now, that is quite an abstract and generally unpopular idea. We live amongst a christian right, a massive popular faith in Jesus. The United States government, to this day, is still clouded by an invisible, impaled savior's supposed creed. They are not being held accountable for their actions, and the religious zealotry behind many recent wartime atrocities are running rampant, highlighting the current policy. A solution to these and other distinctly American quandaries may be many fold. I, again, am not in any position to offer our enemies advice. To bring forth a massive sweep across the board of Satanic honesty is unrealistic for this and probably any other governmental system (past, and present). I can only hope that we are aware of our minority, and trust in our abilities to thrive underground. Here, in the darkness of our own warm nest, secluded in the environs of Satan's chamber, we find that magick, mayhem, and mastery are what will bind our minds together. Undiscovered by the ignorant, their unified armies will pass us by, leaving us alone. However, they will always seek to oppress our very right to live in peace. We must be aware of their treachery at all times. That said, we all know that our "commander in chief" is a leader of maggots, aiming toward a "moral" christian state, of global proportions. There is nothing we as occultists can do to stop this evil empire. In general, on a political scale, our cries will fall on deaf ears. But, we must still be ready to fight the good fight, especially intellectually. In our ritual temples we shall bring about our own empowerment, complete with self-sufficiency and explorations of the forbidden dark arts. Conventional American society is frightened of us having even the slightest bit of freedom. It is, therefore, in our best interests to study, and above all practice the black arts, making full use of what we know. Power within the underworld will translate well in our earthly plight. I've mentioned self-mastery, and you should realize that as a cardinal rule, in relation to America's reliance on government, t.v., public transit, the military, religion, etc. Our aim is the prospect of knowing ourselves, so that we can know our enemies. They are all around us, gaining in numbers, but always stale when it comes to sheer Will. The slave race of christians, as a result, is not enough to quiet our heathen, evil pursuits. Revel in sin! The white lighted "right" path is

pure deception!

Extended Word on Government For those with friends in high places, there is no telling how many bad deeds may go unpunished. Does the "punishment" fit the crime, in the case of a so called political suicide? They will land safely into a comfortable house, with well invested money, and not a care about the little people, or any people. This cronyism, which is sweeping every facet of our current administration, is in fact most rampant and blatant in American politics. Equality, it seems, is only relevant in death, and even then the most evil tyrant will be honored in their passing with kind words, and a costly military burial. We know when politicians wreak havoc within their policies that war begets war, and the related violence brings more violence. In our warlike culture, comfort has even invaded the highest levels of our governing parties. Speed, efficiency, and relaxation are key to a working class, but only the latter is an attractive vice for our governmental superiors. A quiet nap when the bombs fall is a far too American pastime.

Brother To Us All I've seen and heard many so called "armchair Satanists" call their supreme deity by the title of "Father". This is all well and good for the weak. The amount of superfluous personal degradation that these practitioners see as a fit due towards Satan himself irks me quite a bit. Satan is surely to be exalted, but not at a personal cost to the reveler. Satan has not created us, but is a companion on the path we are thrust upon. He is our brother. I liken the relationship to that of an older sibling. More experienced, more knowledgeable, and stronger than his less travelled younger kin. This is the way I see my relationship with him anyway. I am certain that, as Satan smiles upon us, he will no doubt share his secrets and blessings, not because I fear him, but because I respect him. Granting us power is a key perk to the theistic Satanist. But, if one cowers in fear before our particular God, one misses the point entirely. However, I do understand this preoccupation with seeing Satan as an all encompassing father/master. I too, at one time, certainly felt that Satan was "the all". But, this was only partially the case. Along with the infernal majesty and all the benefits of Hell, we must believe in ourselves, side by side with Satan himself. Who are we to assume such pretense, you ask? If you must know, then you aren't cut out for this type of responsibility. While Satan was here before, and rules the unseen, he is rooting for us here on Earth, to become as he is within the universe. I understand that this sounds presumptuous, and even unbelievable, but it is true. As a friend, Satan is unmatched. Working against the strictures of the christian's parasitic zombie-christ, Satan is with those who exalt his name, side by side. There are no prerequisites to engage in a discourse with Satan. And that is common once one has enough knowledge of both themselves, and their craft. Confidence is essential, and through experience, of course, one may attain constant communion with what we call the underworld. Not only may one converse with Satan, but with all the princes/demons ruling over the vast legions of Hell, and elsewhere. The miracle of Satanic correspondence is actually not a miracle at all. It

is a privilege granted to the Satanic adept. Miracles, to be quite honest, are the crutch of deluded people. What I am describing is within one's reach every day, yet can never be adequately explained in any text or format. Friendship is the best way to classify what we're after. In relation to Satan's power, and our lack of it, one may question how a simple magician, in human form, may be an equal to one so unattainably gifted. One may also question the truth behind such claims, as listed above. The truth is I cannot explain it. This phenomenon, once one has opened their minds, will explain itself. Man's natural bond with Satan is where we might begin to find comparable satisfaction to our curiosity. History marks various times when our kind were thriving and vital, but the downfall of our truth began, and came, when christianity rose to political power, especially during the last millennium. With this rise, for more than a thousand years, we have been at war. That said, Satan knows his allies. Our small, but capable army fights at Satan's left hand. The weak fall by the wayside, and the survivors continue to prosper and gain audience. While the previously mentioned "war" may not be militarial, but metaphorical, and on a ritualistic scale, we do know that natural instinct goes a long way in Satanic practices, magick, communication, and our relationship with Satan. Those who have it know it. And those who don't commonly pop up in irate posts on some general Satanic internet forums. Also, with this natural ability, Satan admires devotion. The magus, through ritual means (summoning, evocation/invocation) will align one further with where they want to be. "Shemhamforash" and "Hail Satan" is the way. Listen to those words well, and it will be done.

Satan and Thelema

Aleister Crowley has said and written: "Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law". I agree. But, in relation to Satanism and Satanic magick, the above statement may mean different things to different people. Certainly, our Will be done, especially in our Satanic paradigm. Ultimately, we are the masters of our own fate. Through magick, and extension of our individual Will into the realm of what I've termed the "underworld", unseen by man, a whole new meaning and purpose is brought to the Law of Thelema. This modern marriage of Crowleyan Thelema, and Satanism is only a natural progression, in my opinion, akin to the beginning of the so called "new age" and popular witchcraft. Yet, what is brought about now, utilizing newly discovered Thelemic liberty, is something much more powerful, and admittedly darker, than anyone can imagine. (Dark in the sense that it is hidden, occult, and dangerous to the cowardly). With both disciplines much careful study of the core texts of each, together, in the proper context, is needed. The dark aspects of both lie in their staunchly anti-christian mentalities. But, in light of that statement, we get to the other Thelemic axiom of "Love Is The Law, Love Under Will". Love, in a Satanic respect, is bestowed upon the deserving. Respect is earned, and in this way, so is love. To mix these differing, yet sympathetic realities, is a renewed and amply refreshed idea/view, used to forge ahead an evolved practical method. Down with the pedophiliac dogma of the catholic church! The fact that the twisted morals of traditional christianity are being summarily dashed by popular television and musical media shows that the general public is quite tired of the tradition, and yearns for something new and free. This is the same trend towards a mix of Satanism and Thelema. Freedom to wield earth-shaking power with the optimism, and clear sight, of a familiar deity is what we get, largely due to the personal exaltation granted by both. And this glorious selfdeification is the essence of such a spiritual course. Can both exist? Can we both be as our god, yet wish for advanced attainment? Yes, that is the point, isn't it? Through pragmatism, and self reliance, we merely acknowledge our own pantheon of Gods, invoke often as we will, and

become as our superior intelligences would wish us to be. Crowley himself knew the power of 666. Yet perhaps he was just too much of a shock-trooper for the society of his era with his seemingly strange, yet sometimes superficial mix of Satanism and Thelema. Could he have had both? That was and is the struggle. As some identify Thelema with spirituality, there is always the labeling of Satanism "non spiritual", and that simply isn't the case. Remember that a new era is always around the corner, every day if we see fit. Kill the past! We are not the flower children in conflict over the seemingly conflicting. Now is the time for exploration!

Death Is Forbidden

As a Satanist, I see my religion as a constant progression, a step beyond the strife and restriction of the major popular religions, especially of the West. My vision is that of free thought and action, and in its wake, personal exaltation. I love my friends and family, and wish to be rid of those who may do us harm. Through Satan, I see a best friend, and a means to empower myself in this world, and beyond. In Hell, my seat is secure. And what is Hell? I've been asked this question quite a bit. Hell is my place in the paradise denied by jehova and his flock. Hell is a beautiful heaven filled with anything I wish. The point is our collective views of such a state are not incorrect. As Satan shows us the way, we'll develop our own niche in the hereafter, always advancing in our personal quests, and breaking free of the grip of death, and the pale slave god.

Phase One (A Satanic Banishing)

Here is a bit of practical magick devised with a preliminary ritual banishing in mind. Before any magickal workings/operations, one must clear the ritual space of any negative energies that may be present (or wish to become present). Doing this simple banishing will rid your temple of unwanted forces. To begin, stand in your magickal circle, and face North. Working clockwise, at each cardinal point, state the following: "Unto Belial I am a fiery mass. Pray towards me, but not in Hebrew. In all languages ye shall know my name." *Shout magickal motto* Turn towards the North again, and finally repeat the following: "Satan has come and will watch over me. Hail Satan! I cast away all who may do me harm. No power is too great that I cannot master it." While saying the above passage, imagine a red flame engulfing your body, and purifying the air around you. Meditate on this flame for as long as you may wish, gaining in heat and intensity. You may perform this banishing ritual before any magickal working. It is suitable to replace any standard version.

Phase 2 (A Satanic Meditation)

Continuing on the above "Phase 1", we go further, and now discuss a personal meditation rite to connect and dedicate oneself to Satan, or any other chosen godform. In your ritual temple, properly banish the area. Proceed to sit in the common Eastern lotus position, close your eyes, and focus your concentration on the blackness of your mind. Look beyond this all encompassing space, and get lost in its nothingness. This may take as long as you like, with an emphasis on total relaxation. Once you are fully relaxed, open your eyes, and repeat the following: "Satan, Lord and Ruler of the Earth, I come to you to bestow your power upon me, your ally on this plane." Again, close your eyes, and begin to envision a flaming, shining inverted cross. This cross may change colors, as you see fit, and let each color (personal preference being the deciding factor) engulf your body. With eyes still closed, repeat this mantra: "Ave Satanas!" (intone : Ah-vey Say-tahn-ahss!) This mantra should sound like a drone, or a hum, as it leaves your mouth. Repeat the vibration of this mantra repeatedly, until a calm has passed over you. You may feel communion with Satan instantly, or over time. This ritual may be performed at any time (daily, weekly, monthly, etc). It is perfect as a grounding ritual to continue your evolving magickal link.

Masonic Christ

The cultures borne out of Western neglect, yet which turn a blind eye to everything but their freedom, anticipated the birth of jesus christ, thousands of years before the conception of the christian bible. The key to this fact is not only prophecy, but the actual witnessing of a number of different "christ's" births, many years before the "New Testament". With the names of crucified messiahs such as Zipe, Merodach, and Uiralocha, a messiah had risen, and died through solar cults, rendering the modern jesus christ obsolete before his own time. Sacrificial archetypes of the axe, cross, and crown of thorns surface in tribes, and tribal ritual, long before the "bible" mentions its laughable hero. The living breathing gods that were called forth are far more powerful even today as when they were baptized in the blood of humanity. The triangle of Set, in the North, combines to make a square representing two poles. El Shaddai is our link to Satan, a Masonic mystery that predates our modern hunt for the distinctions of "good" and "evil". Who are we to believe? Is evil the one true good in the world? With the age of Freemasonry and the Illuminati still yet to decide our fates, the Egyptian Set may light our way in as human a means as possible. With the very death, as ritualistic as any waged war, those who don't know fight for what they've never experienced. The people, however, must rise up in the name of PtahSekar-Ausar and steal the throne of their heaven, their inhumane blasphemous seat of death. It is with this very act, that we take up arms and claim the world for ourselves! For centuries, nay, millennia, we've been lied to. May the words herein revealed bring to light the end of misery, in favor of our benevolent, carnal, and what they term "evil" forces. Is their "black magick" the true nature of man? Their version of good has led us down the wrong path. Covering up the myriad centuries of magicians, sorcerers, priests, and priestesses of nature, their christ has fought to erase our history, and mock our very souls into slavery. By faith are we numbered like government statistics, and that is exactly how they like it. Call forth the 7 ancient secrets, and enter the Key of Hiram. Our new Masonic Christ is among us! And he is nothing like the other. In fact, our christ is no mere man or woman. We are many, sanctified in darkness, bound by our oaths that pledge only life. The paradox will be

placed in the birth of the great lord. The axe and gavel of spatial and eternal justice shall completely render our code of morals to be the end to a weak and corrupt list of "10 commandments", set upon earth to torture, and destroy. To indoctrinate and emaciate humankind's own citizenship of pagan revelers has been their mission for too long!

Separation Anxiety (A Cautionary Discussion)

Yes, even I have been misled from time to time. During my early occult development, I sought solace in any method, or system that felt familiar, especially at that time. Maturity, as is its tendency, will prevail, but not without a great deal of pain, and work. That is the essence of the path, after all. Finding LaVeyan Satanism at age 15, I admit that I was a bit wet behind the ears, as they say, and probably too young to appreciate the finer points of some of LaVey's own "Satanic Bible". My energy, a vast store of teenage testosterone, led me through the next few years until I reached the age of 18, with several misguided attempts at creating a working Satanic idiom under my belt. This is not mentioning the intense, and immense, study and experimentation I embarked upon in what I term "the lost years", and continue to this day. That said, some previous sexual encounters with, unbeknownst to themselves, what Anton LaVey would have called "Satanic Witches", formed a basis for some of my limitless (at age 18) love for LaVeyan sorcery. The possibilities for such a young lad seemed endless. It was then that I sought to join the storied, supreme Satanic church itself (I will not name names, in the interest of some legality). I looked to become a working, active part of their membership, to naively show off what I had learned, and also to grow with what I thought to be a great part of my evolving identity. As I had attained membership, quite easily in hindsight, a more righteous brotherhood had yet been devised, I thought. "Was I prepared to create, and sculpt the galaxy in my own image?" "Is there no limit to the blackness of my soul now that I have gained access to this forbidden cabal?", I asked myself. I was excited to follow in the footsteps of any who I imagined, in my head, to be brilliant. I, however, was sadly mistaken. Before my dismal realization, I thought it was time to not wallow in my darkness, but to take intuition for granted, and grab the devil by the horns and sharpen my magickal skills. What could go wrong? Eager to make friends, forge tactics, and become all I wished to be, I found out that my Satanic ideal, my elite brotherhood, held such animosity towards theists of any kind, including myself (A self avowed

Satanic theist in most respects), that no amount of research could quell my amazement. At long last, or in a split second, my membership was terminated once they had discovered my leaning TOO far to the left. I was shocked. How could such a hip, and "cool" order disagree with my esoteric experimentation? How could they find fault and weakness in my magickal pursuits? I was to find out that the core of said church was a judgmental pit of negativity, as a general rule. Not unlike the Catholics, one might assume. And they'd be correct. Dogma begets dogma, no matter how fortified with subjective familiarity. At that young stage I forgot that humans are fallible. Seeking a cause, or an ideal blindly, yet learning along the way, is a very impressionable position to be in. I'm not saying that this "church" which I will now label a "crutch", intentionally misled me. I just did not delve deep enough into their brainwashed, fascist subculture to fully realize the magnitude of taking on membership in their "crutch". Such an endeavor would, in retrospect, limit my view of the conscious landscape, and in the end waste a year or so of my time. What were they so afraid of? Why is the said "crutch" so adamant about anti-theism, especially from a quasi-mixture of laymanism and intellectualism? It is the greatest paradox of our day. But, ignorance applies only to the subject being ignored or neglected. Disavowing knowledge of other realms, states, thoughts, and frames of reference, is all too easy. But, again, it is all too limiting, especially to the new wanderer. That is where I was, about 7 years ago. It threw me for a troublesome loop.

I Am The Guru

Let it mean whatever you want it to mean. I don't presume to take liberty with such a staunch, repugnant phrase. However, let us assume for a moment that we are all reasonably intelligent adepts who may, in a shocking instance, show their true ignorance. Indeed, the most adept are truly inept. Socially vulgar vicissitudes leading down the time-tunnel through untold reaches of human dross, and waste. Yes, a wasteland, not quite teenage, but relevant to some who never lost their youth! But what of the young? Possibly revelatory are Lewis Carroll and his treatment of Alice. Photos, both illicit, and artful, all taken by the master (a doctor and reverend) himself. It is not my fault if you cannot see what is in front of you. Forget the forest, and the trees. They were never there, or were invisible after all. Invisible, to say the very least. "I don't see it! It isn't apparent! Logic has failed me!" You most certainly say. But, I don't say, and haven't even said a goddamn word. You create the world for yourself. In thine own image make up your mind. Useless fantasies are far better than untapped reality. Face your fears, and a lengthy prison sentence be handed down swiftly. Fear not! Likely getting stabbed by a makeshift blade, the seeker must challenge his inner servitors to channel the pain, channel the death, and thus rise up. Initiation! Somehow we've finally scratched the surface! How did it happen? Surely, in that day and age one needed no less than the internet to excel at rhetoric. Read a book! Digest the terms therein and forego idle chatter. Actions, indeed decisive actions, speak louder than any stationary banter. But, those who "do" may find themselves without purpose, or direction. They are still empty inside. Even the ones who are so accomplished that they feel incessant inner pain may cry without honor. A penny saved is not a lot of money. Remember to scrimp frugally to truly earn your place at the bottom. Feed well upon the slugs and worms, and the salt on your tongues may exact fine revenge. Revenge may come sooner, if you do yourself in. But please, save the grief for television. Those who notice nothing are everywhere. What accounts for brilliance in the fiery embers of disillusionment is meaningless to those in the baser realms. And those locations are infinite, and everywhere, even right here. From where I sit, I see all. But, so do you. So do they. Only "god" can judge, and death is

our lord and savior. Master? Possibly. We can't pretend anymore. You cannot hide from flesh and bone. Yogic prana, by what the siddhi have told me, is our life-force, within everything, surrounding us. Yet, it isn't tangible, or measurable. It isn't something to pray for. It is in the present, here, and now. Once the finality of death has emerged, prana takes over for ever. A cruel joke, I suspect. Never one to miss an opportunity to laugh at myself, I give you all a hearty Ha! Ha! Banish therein! Pure good, and kindness, and the breath of life itself is in laughter. The hyena cackles when the carcass is bloated. Communicate with each other. Learn to notice our signature sounds, and voices. Accept our wants, and misgivings. Happiness is ours in this climax. Bark loudly, once satisfied. Pray. The essence of human prayer is sacrifice. Me? I pray to the walls which surround me. I've never known solace, but always sought refuge from the forces I could not understand. And once face to face with those holy demons, I am one with them, and you. The last "end of the world", or world war 3, will be our feast, neither greater, nor lesser. This ultimate supper shall mock the unveiling by flaunting their superior weaknesses. Do they know more than those mere mortals? Flawed sycophants get all the glory. Especially in the end. "I am the guru" they say. "I've learned all the lessons", they'll implore. And maybe, just maybe, they're correct in their honesty and piety within themselves. Egotism, and megalomania, are admirable traits in a blind date. Excitement can never be too far behind a supposed messiah. "I am the guru" you will undoubtedly utter. And you are right. Within and without, we only answer to ourselves. It's a lonely world, surrounded by friends and family, do-gooders, and evil-doers. All of them. I never met a man I didn't envy, even when I was in my own little world. Everyone's better, and the grass is always greener. What can I say? What can we do? Sing this mantra, first, last, and always: "I am NOT the guru...OM"

A Call To Arms!

Take up thy creed! Enact change in your work and become one with Satan! To dedicate yourself to the black arts is to love thyself. We, in our turn with Satan, are the rulers of the Earth! We are all encompassing. The inverted cross, non-biblical, serves our common good, and will shine on, in the dark pit. We seek only the most dedicated revelers to join our crusade for personal godhood. Satan is with us, and we must destroy the pallid redeemer's message, bit by bit, in its entirety. By the forces of Hell, and by the might of our supreme Lord! Hail Satan! Hail Thyself!

The Meaning Of Personal Freedom (A New Standpoint)

The major religions of the world are based on guilt. So called "sins" are listed to bring about a conditioned, herd mentality response, in order not to go "against god". Penance is offered for one who has "sinned", by kneeling before their god, belittling himself. They live in fear of their god, and exist in such a state of restriction that they strive to be inhuman sheep. We aren't remotely related to the fear mongering slaves they manufacture daily. Satan has never told us what to do. We do not live in fear of his "wrath" because it is non-existent. We live like everyday may be our last, and thus our God is happy. As a result, we must never revel in guilt. To the Satanist, guilt is a sin, if there ever was one. But, I don't like to call anything a "sin" per se, as personal exploration is a definite virtue, and necessity. As we research into our own humanity, our likes and dislikes, through constant experimentation, we are that much closer to complete freedom, freedom from guilt especially. Live free!

Notes on The Black Mass

There have been throughout history many different versions of the infamous Black Mass. Some call it a purely christian perversion/inversion. Some still maintain that it's a Satanic reaction to "proper" authority. In my opinion, if performed correctly, a Black mass can evoke the very essence of Hell, and provide a place here on Earth where we are exalted, and praised. "Traditional" masses may feature an altar consisting of a nude woman. Others can require ritual implements/tools to adorn the altar. One may chant the catholic "lord's prayer" backwards, or simply recite one's own concoction of Satanic sentiments for all those gathered in celebration. Never, in any true Black Mass, will there be a physical sacrifice, animal, human, etc. If a group wishes to evoke destructive forces, they may do so by proxy, by way of effigies, sigilism, the burning of parchments, and creative personal thoughts. However the mass is constructed and performed, it must always be in a purely Satanic context. No allusion to christianity may be performed at any time for the integrity of the rite to remain intact. Therefore, the aforementioned popular, backwards recitation of the "lord's prayer", while a common staple in anti-Satanic propagandist folklore, is inappropriate and incorrect. In our worship, we must distance ourselves far away from any occidental trappings. It is bad enough that the free world considers traditional Satanic theists as mere devil worshippers. In place of the backwards prayer, I've mentioned creating one's own sentiment to be read aloud, during the mass, remembering that Satan enjoys sincerity, and creativity.

Fragment

Ritualistic constructions are only effective when the mind of the Magus is cultivated towards the desired end. If a ritual is devoted to a frivolous result, especially without intellectual focus, the operation is doomed to both fail, and cause emotional damage. This is also true of a working without a proper preparation, and/or closing, regardless of the content at the core of the rite. Now, I realize the amount of considerable work and study this requires, especially in relation to the Great Work itself (when one takes into account a regimen of purely psychic temple settings, experienced without the use of a physical altar). Workings, including the infamous Black Mass, can all be performed entirely within the mind of the magician. Preliminary, preparatory visualizations, and meditational practice, can build up one's arsenal of psychodramatic ability. As a result, it is not impossible to exist purely in the imaginary/psychic realm, in relation to the work. That is not to say that actual physical ritual practices are not effective. Quite the opposite is true. But, in the invisible world, there is no distinction.

A Further Note (Troublesome Ideals)

It's difficult for me to express myself without becoming idealistic about not only where I should be, and who I am, but who, and where everyone else "is", or "should" be. Such general statements are common to most people with inflated egos, but I swear to you that this is different. Instead of speaking in "E-Prime", I will use definitive statements to express not only my hope, but my exhaustion. Satanism, when applied correctly (and who am I to "correct" anyone?) liberates the mind so that one can do, and say, whatever they wish, without feeling self conscious. There is a difference between self-consciousness, and egocentrism. Most of those, who are out of the loop, will confuse the two, and commonly prefer the latter to be used in snap judgments of ideologies they know nothing about. The point is all ideals are troublesome. Someone will invariably disagree, and put one to task over what has been said, or has perceived to have been said. Don't be afraid to stand up and practice the art of public speaking, especially if you have a need to convey a new message. Satanism is such a topic that, while incendiary, will inspire your core audience, when addressed with the right amount of intuitive gusto, and spry discourse. This is what christianity is so afraid of; a passionate and erudite discussion completely upstaging, and replacing, centuries of utter trash with codes, and ethics, portrayed by those who need no god, yet choose to follow the one, true icon of freedom, and individuality.

Call To Disorder

I have never seen a more promising field of occult view, among such a troubling and disturbing period of time. Our disaffected, and rightly so, maneuver to protest the religious right, daily, is important to the preservation of the Satanic underground. Such "over-ground" tactics galvanize our state of diabolic grace, and sends our enemies further into disarray. However, we must understand our position within the world's cultural stage. A Satanist is not afforded the same public glee, or satisfaction, as a christian or a jew. Our life is that of silent superiority, and we must proclaim that fact until it becomes second nature. Understanding, in general, is not a traditionally popular human emotion. Herd conformity is one of the only animal traits celebrated by even the most powerful members of the human race. Carnal "sins" are looked down upon only by those who are the grand purveyors of hypocrisy. The federal government has a very large investment in this very principle. Remember, to them it is righteous to be holy, and holy to be righteous. We see this as an obvious puzzle, and are hard pressed to find another explanation. Humanity is much like an "organized", sleeping and angry mob. Here and now don't amount to anything. Comfort and tranquility account for our main concerns, even if we abandon the very virtues that make us human. I'd rather live on a raft, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, than make a decision on land, amounting, in effect, to my current sense of displeasure, and non-abatement. Sadness, and depression will come and go in their stead, and our eyes will only focus on the light sent from some distant star, to warm us and bring us some superficial comfort. Certainly, this luxury turns out to be irrelevant in the end. During our time here, our grip on the "certain" will vary, and will behave in an unfriendly manner. The human mind likes to play tricks on us most of the time. That's in itself the essence of our earthly stability, if there is such a thing. Sitting Indian style, we will feel the tingle at the base of our spine, shooting from the brain, and out of our eyes. If we weren't suicidal then, we are now. Dispersion and discord reign supreme in the panic of our organization, as bees within the hive.

The Afterlife?

They'd have you believe that there's a heaven after you die. Looking favorably upon what we've done, even if our deeds are evil. That is the message, and truth, of christianity; to repent unconditionally while committing acts of cruelty to the churches of our fellow man. Abolished are the ways of life beknownst to the angels. As Hell becomes paradise, we seek judgment only here on earth, and delight in the carnal with what little life we have left. There are no blue skies for the dead, or the living for that matter. Whatever the poets spoke of, a sort of bliss privy to the artist, is all meaningless in death. The eyes forever closed, and nothing to satiate a once vital brain. All of the build up and suspense of a troubled childhood lies ending in the divorce of the one institution that may account for life itself. To say that life is a lie is only half true. What we've seen amounts to everything, only to be engulfed in absolutely nothing. It's easy to sit back and counter the "right", seemingly negating all that they'd thrown upon you. If I may sound so presidential, the mission is to wake up, and stay awake. I don't know how to enact a perfect system of life and permanent sleep, akin only to jehovah’s infinite "plan", but I hope that our notions of paradise reside here, in our physical world. As this is all we really know, or can speak of, who are we to praise christ and his cult's earthly construction? It's a big failure as far as I am concerned. We mustn't worry about death, or even self worth. If the existentialists had their way, we'd all be happy, well adjusted people, knowing only what we know, and bringing with us what we have, or think we have. There is beauty in that line of thought, the submission to Ain Soph Aur. I'd be remiss if I didn't get Qabalistic at least once.

POETRY (And Otherwise):

"The Queen"

Forgive me for intrusion, Upon this dire land. My magister's illusion Beyond his own left hand.

A savior seeks to reckon, With the master, underfed. Beyond the veil, she beckons Towards the Queen of the Undead.

Upon a beast, or lion headed Dragon with its tail. To toss the heads, on spikes embedded Of those who would not fail.

Perseverance, in the end Is not a welcome fate. To die alone, with death to rend, The Queen becomes Death's mate.

"Adventures Of A Lodgemaster": Sight unseen.

Psychic sex and severe ordeal. Initiate, in all his wonder. Risk of suffocation, Or gunshot wounds, With and without the Temple. Oath of secrecy, Rape of the naive is a very common practice. Egyptian sun, Pyramidic geometry, Or a funeral procession. What is the point? Initiation, my friend. Initiation.

"Revelation 93": Past regime long overdue,

Overstays its welcome In the kingdom of lies.

The priest of the princes, Connected and dissected By the dead, and dying.

Folklore untold by cultures, Spawned by the Caliphate. California, here we come.

The hidden god unveiled. Peace and love on its knees. Bent over towards the holy sepulchre.

I cannot see the end. For the digital shows its pride In displaying erotic misgivings.

The price is paid. Dues are met. Franchise stakes are high.

Fondlers are not only popes, But the very core of The foreign dialect.

Ritualistic manners are given, Unto those who shed the same skin, For Isis and Eris.

Chaos is more than they Ever bargained for. Being such austere receptacles.

Seldom sacred, Yet always autobiographical. I spit upon their hexagram.

Unicursal clues in a new age. Beckoned to the temple, A Neophyte waits to be prodded.

Heru Ra Ha. Light And Laughter. He mentioned a Book Of Balance.

Sanctum Regnum. Holy of Holies. Holiest, thou are not.

Gallons of fluid, both blessed, And egocentric.

That is the key of it all.

I never imagined the number. He knows it all too well. Bedevil, be damned.

White god of a blackened race. Seek and ye shall destroy. Crusaders are many in this time of need.

Priceless work of sullen art. Nuit, in the sky, at night. I am so many stars.

Infinitely great and restless, The poet will die by a dead hand. Swing from the noose, for his own sake.

The gift of sacrifice Is from the East, Never the West.

Drive safely the vehicle Which commences its run With a ride upon the camel.

Hilarious souls banish With laughter the demons we all know. Dispersion is cast.

Below is above. But, when looked down upon, Our eyes are filled with ambergris.

The scent, followed by the release

Of the vomit of a million planets, Aligned perfectly, will set the pace.

Diseased, and rotting carcasses. All religions become such as Mentioned above.

Hail Eris! Discordia in the Abbey of Thelema! Revolution rideth as does the Scarlet Woman!

Trust no one, Not even those who know. They will always prefer ignorance.

Media minded internet hound. To hunt down the past, one must

Use a dull blade. Fuck the new age. There will always be a Reason for Aquarius to die. Speak the truth, It has been shouted. Yea, it has been shouted.

"Goddess Of The Flood": Fleece the flaccid,

Shaven with shears that shorn. God himself goes unto god. As but for the grace of I, go I.

Smash the putrid. Dead desires of reeking flesh. We've said it once, I've said it without my knowing. Remnants of a forgotten world, Undone by common devils. My worship is of Kali. Untapped Seminal Virgin. Savior of the wishing well. Rain on! Rain on! Sea of death, and oral doctrines, Our only pleasure exists to

Pleasure myself and all the flock.

Commentary On "Goddess Of The Flood"

The poem is a bit too stark for its own good. Sometimes I prefer to leave the obvious out in the open, for everyone's own interpretation. But, I say "fuck mystery". Let's get right to the point. Is there a point? I wonder. Yes, there is always a revelation, or a bit of wonder to nail a message home. In my opinion, that's the basis of all good art. And so with "Goddess Of The Flood", I employed a sort of sexual/magickal imagery, especially in the few lines related to Kali. She is the only actual deity I name in the piece, but I don't think she represents all of the femininity I envision and describe in the poem. Perhaps I feel a certain disdain for motherhood, or those relating to certain Lunar cults/cycles, and fertility rites. Whatever is going on here, the message is in no way misogynistic. It merely basks in the glory of a metaphorical menstrual tide. In the beginning, it seems that I write of myself, only to identify later with the surrender to feministic beauty and complexity. Balance, as in the case of male and female energies, must unite both, even with respect to the ego. The psyche must persist with both, to see megalomania give way to oneness with everything.

"Silent Vigil": Illness beckons,

And time runs out. The cancer is spreading, With ease no doubt. Religion Thelema, My own special cure, Will never be known, And will never be pure. If sanity dies, I will too, as I lay. But first I will spit upon The mourners who pray.

Some Haikus For A Non-Japanese Culture "God's Love"

Hail Eros! Hail Pan! It's a pleasure to have lived With your warm embrace. "Bombs" No Jesus, know peace. Yes, the fish is upside down! Wars win, in the end. "Cynical Balancing Act" Faltered in my steps. Will I ever stand upright? As straight as a priest?

Scant Comments on The Haikus

On "God's Love": While I believe in the stability of the human race, not as an evolutionary wonder, but as a parasite, I must ponder upon how religion has surely divided us all. I've found that only in chaos can we get back to everything that matters. Everything, that is, that will redeem our curiosity. On "Bombs": War is inevitable, and constant, especially on this planet. In a bumper-sticker slogan culture, we must question even ourselves, and if we'd fight to defend our personal wellbeing against invading forces. I salute those who know why they fight. I will never rally behind an ignorant army. On "Cynical Balancing Act": Even the most pious, devoted, and seemingly loving person, will most definitely turn out to be a crooked bastard. This is a fact, kids. Oh yes. Years will go by and our childlike adoration will turn into political insight, into the superficial world at large. Morality and utter baseless piety will form a surreal backdrop against perceived sin, and may also shave years off of devastation, guilt, and likely prison terms.

Satan Settles Down (Disorganized Scripture)

Verse 1 (Averse): Mock fire and thou shalt know your shame. Why so invisible? Why does thou hideth such glorious humor? Enigmatic waves float through this ugly vein. Her ignored satiation is lustful carnage. Scorn her, the goddess, and destroy as thou wilt. "Not knowing is knowing", sayeth the Fool. And he is your king.

Verse 2 (Lack Of Any Commandments): Christ never lived, especially before A.D. Think on this, children, and Beelzebub will come to you in the daylight. Oh clouds, and misty spray upon my face. This is the requiem of the nocturnal. Sleep, and the wall beyond dreaming will become sour. Stay awake, and devour those children who play down the street.

Verse 3 (Sing For Death): Or Daath? (says the title!). Middle pillar wandering with such a vapid climb. The grey matter meets a grey magickal earth, filled with wine, and heroin.

Addiction! Lo! Addicts will reign, as they have forever. Take heed when the needle marks become encrusted. For therein, is the stigmata. Verse 4 (May-December): Forget in between the lying and cheating. Fatherly love will destroy this Aethyr. And, your "god" is too weary for any new therapy sessions. Commit this lewd act at your own peril! Nay! Peril is charming when acted upon with brute force towards your dear old mother.

Verse 5 (Tarot): Trouble makes itself known, but don't feel sad. Within the mind are the tools to enact thy will, or else thou shalt NOT. Oh, thou are not a commandment. For there is no such thing, in the realm of the reasonable. Possibly hurtful, but in any case, "a healthy ego will withstand any Aeon", said the Hierophant. Verse 6 (No Thought For The Long-Term): The tedious ways have gone before a courtship of the mysterious bride.

Think well, for in 93 there are quite a few other formulas, or numbers included. This happens to be a message in the form of pedantry. Choose your words and the doors will open. But, for now, all is slammed wide shut.

Comments On Disorganized Scripture Those poetic ramblings, stated above, are much more than mindless

drivel. In them, the practitioner will find a significant Western mantra, to wipe clean the psyche, and exact a program of sheer, implicit, logic upon the mind. For all the beautiful girls, they say. But, I digress... With a focus on the eleven fold cross, and the enhanced vision through hallucinogenic smoke, the man on the mountaintop singing on high is you, after all. How clear all of the verses will be is not for me to decide. I've constructed my own series of personally pertinent degrees of consciousness, so that the "disorganized scriptures" have nothing to do with me. But, they have everything to do with everyone else. Time is on your side when trying to decode each concocted verse. They will mean something different, every single day, with whatever words are attached. Thus, each sentence is in fact a life sentence of meditational retreat (without sleeping in a tent light years away from civilization). Now, we've described them as "scriptures", but they are not in reference to a christian bible. We must unlearn the importance placed on these types of words as used in occidental circles, and create a fresh meaning/perspective. Derived from a free, surreal hand, one may be the star of an entirely new bible, the Aeonic Testament, if you will. With anti-christian themes (as always), this proposed Aeonic book is not filled with folklore, or legend. It is a truthful account of every Satanic mindset with a new, everlasting logos. This idea is embodied in the six verses. One must read, and digest, and discover oneself in a clean, white room, without christ, or soul, but filled with knowledge, vice, and love. You are no longer enclosed within a pine box. The undertaker is dead, and our morgue is a holy church. The left handed are exalted, and those who may mock these verses are drawn and quartered. Verse 1 is a recognition of the elementals. Sexual tarot is unveiled in Verse 1, as it speaks of and hints at lust, and never rape. Verse 2 is heretical, and will matter only to those who search for a new meaning with each read. Nothing is left to chance, however, as in Verse 3 we highlight the Qabalistic essence of any and all pillars, leading to our planned demise, and rebirth, through specific experimentation. Verse 4 is the romantic side of carnality, but always keeping an eye on social/contemporary mores. Verse 5 brings the meaning, and purpose, of all pursuits in life, to the fore. Humanity is destructive, and we all must realize that. Finally, Verse 6 begs the reader

to write their own bible, as mentioned previously in this passage. Even the windbags of the early A.D. can be put to task for their linguistic criminality!

Chaos! Rock and Roll, and the vast array of popular (and underground) music available to us today has been called "the soundtrack to our lives". This

is true, but not in such a banal catch-all phrase, calling forth images of rocking out with one's proverbial cock out. No! Music, as we now see and appreciate, can form a solid working synthesis with our practice of ritual magick. I know that this isn't a new concept. Thelemic pioneers mastered this technique over 30 years ago. But, to the modern chaote listener, forging even newer paths infused with the distortion of modern life, to suit the senses, aural and audio degradation may create the ideal LaVeyan psychodrama useful for total immersion in ritual. Black Sabbath's "N.I.B." (Nativity In Black) comes to mind as a literal pact with the devil, set to music. Lyrics aside, the sheer sound of that recording would be perfect for more than just one ritualistic occupation. Indeed, any of our favorite bands, and styles of music, can suit any purpose the Magus can think of. Once an intellectual grey area, ritual music can call forth any demonic and otherworldly entities/energies one may wish to conjure, or send out, to do his/her bidding. Like the aforementioned psychodrama, personal meditation and inflection is another worthy musical use. Like I said before, any music is suitable, as long as it strikes a personal chord within the Magus. The possibilities of compositions, especially for the instrumentally inclined can form a powerful sonic weapon, to meld the physical with the metaphysical. Magicians such as Genesis P-Orridge, Throbbing Gristle, Jimmy Page, and Kenneth Anger have all mastered the mindset and techniques useful in whatever magick they produced at the time, through the art of the "sinister soundtrack".

Baphomet Baphomet, the androgyne who may replace Pan on its own throne, comes down to greet us. Hail Baphomet! Shemhamforash! Is there a difference between Satan and Baphomet? What is the purpose of

multiple deities for our own worshipful consumption? Breasts, feathers, horns, hooves, "solve et coagula". Invoking this force is proof that life exists everywhere. The sacred hermaphrodite, with its love spread out for all to be amazed. Animalistic devilry around the stone altar. Wisdom of the old gods, yet every new day will begin with a glimpse of the future. Hail Baphomet! Lucifer, bringer of light, may spark the torch upon the head of Baphomet! Milk from its teats will starve the inept, and reward those with balance. The shackles of "male" and "female" are thrown below the inverted pentagram. Watching over the sanctified orgy, candles burning, and a sacrifice to guide the dead. As below, so be it. Below is Hell, mind you. No! Hell does not exist. Our minds are beckoning to Baphomet. The secret chiefs call upon you, and Baphomet is the end all/be all. Remember that any foul beast is soothed by temperance! Lyrical accompaniment, and bard-like balladry, may entertain our solar aspects. Within the tidal force of the moon, Baphomet is especially sympathetic. We recognize its facets on all of our work with Baphomet, and religious work in general. Flying above the bloody sea, courting divine scales of justice, and feeding knowledge to us all, this is what we must focus on. Hail Baphomet!

Direction Of A Modern Satanist Question authority. Defy authority.

Destroy Authority. Transcend authority. The above is probably the best way I can describe the (hopeful) worldview of the modern Satanist. With our worship, and sorcerer's conjurations, we must still be ever aware of how little our group controls in the world at large. We don't live, or exist, to be tyrannical, but Satan's throne is not to be taken lightly. Humanity, especially American society, is afraid of what is not occidental. And even then, the various popular sects despise and slander each other daily. That said, brotherhood, in a Satanic context, is not a Satanic concept. We think apart, only engaging those who have passed our personal tests. But, to form a nucleus of individual thinkers may be a noble undertaking in the unfolding century. Established Satanic churches seek to separate and control. No matter how well intentioned, or attractive a popular Satanic group's dogma is, it's still dogma in my opinion. I seek an ideal, yes. A Satanic utopia? No. Separation, united by personal efficiency, distrust for stupidity, and autonomy of the mind is what we should really be aiming for. It's what all the masses think they've already achieved. But, they are kidding themselves, of course. It is they who put up barriers, and are the true obstacles on the path to freedom. And, I don't mean "freedom" in how George W. Bush understands it, but complete disregard for unrealistic authority. That is essential. The only right a human being has, of any value, is to do his/her Will. Just as Crowley stated all those years ago. And, sectarian pseudo-Satanic bigots, who frown upon the use of Thelema in their mentality, can learn a thing or two from Crowley's inspired notion. It is clear that today's Satanist would deeply benefit from study in areas of all kinds, especially of allied magickal/occult themes such as Thelema. Many pundits will scoff, and even launch death threats at one for mentioning such "blasphemy". But, this is a time for evolution. Evolution, as we know, is a constant process. Whatever has been said here is not definitive, or concrete. In the long run, everything is only a step upon the path. The strong remain, the weak wither and die.

For those who wish to communicate with the author, emails may be sent to: [email protected]