The Letter September 2009

LETTER VOLUME 20, ISSUE 9 •SEPTEMBER 2009

Bar Owner Apologizes For Remarks by David Williams After several months of pressure from the Fairness Campaign and the community-at-large, Louisville bar owner David Norton publicly apologized on Saturday, August 15 for racist and sexist remarks he uttered during a heated exchange last year at Woody’s, a gay bar he operates in Old Louisville. “I would like to apologize for any action and/or verbiage that I used on April 22, 2008,” Norton told several dozen Fairness supporters in a prepared statement in the bar’s parking lot. “I do understand and admit that things should have been handled differently and hope that this can be a learning experience for others as it has been for me.” He later told WHAS-TV that what came out of his mouth was “filth.” The controversy began in the spring of 2008 when Dr. Kaila Story, an assistant professor for women’s and gender studies at the University of Louisville and an African-American, went to Woody’s with friends to play pool. As she later told LEO, a Louisville alternative publication, Norton came in with two barking dogs. Frightened, she jumped on a pool table, angering Norton. An argument ensued during which Norton used racial and sexist epithets. Story and her friends eventually fled the bar but Norton continued yelling at them in the street. For over a year, Norton denied the incident even took place and the local activist community did little. But the

controversy resurfaced last spring. In late 2008, local activists came to the defense of a gay white couple who were accosted with homophobic slurs by a McDonald’s employee. The American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky became involved and the issue was eventually resolved. That unnerved Brian Buford, director of the Office for LGBT Services at the University of Louisville and a friend of Dr. Story, who wondered why no similar campaign had been launched on her behalf. On the first anniversary of the incident he wrote a letter to Norton. Newly-appointed Fairness director Chris Hartman, also puzzled by the lack of action, posted Buford’s letter on the group’s Facebook page, prompting a letter writing campaign. The controversy briefly boiled over in heated private e-mail exchanges among this reporter, Hartman, and others over the actual nature of the incident and how it could be resolved, but mounting pressure finally convinced Norton to issue his apology. “I believe the [Fairness] Campaign and community was more vocal about this incident than ever… before,” Hartman told THE LETTER afterward in an e-mail, “and people paid attention—including Norton.” “For me, this incident brought up memories of all the times I've been harassed, intimidated, or left out because of my identity as a gay man,” Buford tells THE LETTER. He feels it particularly painful because the

incident occurred at a gay bar. Norton is upbeat now. “I would like to move forward with a positive attitude and a positive feeling from this day forward,” he said in his statement. Dr. Story is also positive. “Our community is not removed from the social milieu of society,” she emailed The Letter, “but as members of this wondrous but oppressed community, we should always keep in mind that the same way we are denied civil liberties and rights, we should always seek to provide safe spaces for members of our community regardless of race and gender.” Woody’s is located at 208 East Burnett between Brook and Floyd in Old Louisville. Established in 1928, it’s one of the oldest, continuously operated taverns in the city but has been a GLBT bar for only four years. Anti-Racism Initiatives Inaugurated As a result of the incident at Woody’s, local activists are launching two new initiatives to counter racism within the GLBT community and the community at large. This month, the Fairness Campaign will launch a series of forums called “Dismantling Racism” to be held the first Wednesday of each month at 6:00 PM at its offices, 2263 Frankfort Avenue, in Louisville. For more information, call (502) 893-0788 or go to [email protected]. At the University of Louisville, the Office for LGBT Services will be

Dr. Kaila Story, an assistant professor for women’s and gender studies at the University of Louisville

holding several events throughout the year to engage students in meaningful discussions about race. For more information, contact Brian Buford at the Office for LGBT Services at (502) 852-0696 or brian.buford@louisville. edu. African-American Student Group Forms A new student group, BlkOut, has been formed to provide support for African-American LGBT students at the University of Louisville, particularly those in the process of coming out. For more information, contact Brian Buford at the Office for LGBT Services at (502) 852-0696 or [email protected].

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SEPTEMBER 2009

some attention: The law prohibits "acts of gross indecency" (generally interpreted as any kind of physical intimacy) between men, in public or in private, which are punishable by 10 years in prison.

Lesbian Couple Booted From Memphis Church Service A lesbian couple is considering filing assault charges against certain members of a mayoral candidate’s Memphis church claiming they were forcefully and unjustly removed from Sunday service. As a result of the incident, the Tennessee Equality Project is questioning the pastor’s stance on GLBT civil rights and how it could impact his candidacy for mayor. Yas Meen and Monique Stevens told the Tennessee Equality Project's (TEP) Jonathan Cole that a group of about 25 men surrounded them inside the New Olivet Baptist Church in Memphis on Sunday, August 22, and physically forced them out of the building while calling them “bitches”, “Satanic” and “devil worshipers,” Cole wrote in the Grand Divisions blog. Meen, a retired school teacher, and Stevens visited the church that day for the first time in order to learn more about the Rev. Kenneth Whalum, Jr. who is running for Memphis mayor and serves on the Memphis City School’s Board of Education. Meen had considered supporting Whalum’s candidacy in the October 15 election. Whalum said the women were removed for being disruptive, not for being lesbians — but they tell a different story. The women told Cole they arrived after the church service began and sat on the front row. Soon, they began to notice looks of disapproval from members of the congregation. During the service, Whalum asked the congregation to participate in expressions of “sanctified dance” at which point people began to pray while dancing or lying on the floor. Unfamiliar with the style of worship, the couple remained in their seat. “From the front of the church, the two women alleged that Whalum said ‘this is my house and everybody does what I say. But two people won’t do what I say,’” the TEP blog states. The women remained seated and Stevens extended her arm on the pew behind Meen. “[A] security guard asked us to leave because we were disturbing God’s House,” Meen told TEP. “I asked what had we done to disturb God's House. He could not give me SEPTEMBER 2009

an answer. He just said you two need to leave. He informed us that he had called the police.” Not understanding what they had done wrong, Meen told the guard that they would stay and wait for the police to arrive. She said that’s when a group of men gathered around them to force them out of the church as a church photographer snapped photos despite the couple’s requests for her to stop. “We begged them to stop taking pictures of us,” Meen said. “She continued and when she finished, she blew us a kiss and said ‘God bless you!’” The women claim they were taunted by children and had oil thrown on them by female congregants. Stevens said her glasses were broken in the scuffle and that they both received scratches and bruises from the altercation. Meen said the security guard could not provide a reason for their ejection from the church until police arrived nearly an hour later in response to a 911 hang-up call. “That’s when he told us, along with the police, that it was because Monique had extended her arm along the back of the pew seat right next to [me],” she told TEP. Whalum, however, told the Commercial Appeal that the women were “being disruptive, boisterous and speaking loud. They had to have some kind of agenda to come in church like that.” “If I put every lesbian out of church, we’d be putting people out of church all day long,” Whalum said. Cole, who serves as TEP Shelby County Committee Chair and TEP Board Secretary, said that the incident might warrant investigation as a hate crime if the women decide to pursue a case against the people who got physical with them. “As this violent crime unfolded, Pastor Whalum said nothing and did nothing to intervene,” Cole wrote in the blog. “As someone who wants to be the next mayor of Memphis, Pastor Whalum has some explaining to do.” [Article reprinted with permission, Out & About Newspaper. Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.]

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays Coming out? Don’t face it alone! PFLAG is for more than just for parents, families and friends. We’re also here for you! SUPPORT

EDUCATION

ADVOCACY

We meet the Third Sunday of the month at 3:00pm at First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. Use the west entrance closest to the alley. Questions? Leave a confidential message and one of our members will return your call.

Lon medi CNN by Th Chica visit M

(502) 329-0229.

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THE LETTER SALUTES… www.theletteronline.com

Post Office Box 7842 Louisville, KY 40257 Founded in June 1990 by Jeffrey Goldsmith & Humphrey Marshall EXECUTIVE EDITOR/WEBMASTER ADVERTISING & DISTRIBUTION: Dave VanderPol: (502) 332-4632 [email protected] HIV RESOURCES EDITOR Brad Hampton [email protected] With an estimated readership of over 14,000, THE LETTER is distributed throughout the seven state region of Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Tennessee, Illinois, & Missouri

REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS Cubbie Britches Michael Kimmel Mike Buford Bryn Marlow Marie Davis Brandon Monson Bryan Gatewood Beth Ann Rubin James Hensley Brian Rzepczynski Christy Ikner David Williams Eric Jost Hazel Zimmerman Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any person, organization, or business in articles or advertising in THE LETTER or on its companion website is not to be construed as an indication of the sexual orientation of such person, organization or business. THE LETTER assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials submitted for publication. THE LETTER reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement. © 2009, The Letter News All rights reserved.

OCTOBER 2009 DEADLINES Press releases and Regional Calendar items must be received no later than Monday, September 14, 2009. Advertising reservations must be received no later than Monday, September 21, 2009.

All items should be sent to [email protected]. 4

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This month THE LETTER salutes Rob Anderson, a talented graphic designer and inspirational cancer survivor. We salute him for many reasons, including his volunteer service on behalf of various community organizations. Rob graciously volunteered to create newspaper ads for the 2009 Louisville AIDS Rob Anderson Walk. His latest ad for the areas largest HIV/AIDS fund raiser can be found on page 24 of this month’s issue. “Life is a fragile, an opportune event which many of us take for granted. Each day is a chance to enrich the lives of those around you” noted Anderson. He

found this to be true during the course of his battle with cancer just over one year ago. It changed his view of each breath he is blessed to take. The 30 yearold resident of the Old Louisville neighborhood states, “I am convinced that we do no do enough for those around us. I have looked at this as my second chance… my chance to turn an obstacle into an opportunity.” Though his business, Dawning-Flame Creations, he currently involves himself in the promotion of causes affecting our community ranging from the Louisville AIDS Walk to The Calloway House in Virginia (an organization caring for those who are at the end of their fight with HIV/AIDS). Rob continues, “We are not remembered by what we did not accomplish in life, but by the lives we effect with our vigor for living. What value do we bring to world if we only live for self-promotion and indulgence? When we learn to value the lives around us and work to make the quality of life better for our fellow man, we will find that life comes full circle. You truly get what you give!”

Indiana: Inclusive Civil Rights Ordinance Fails On Second Reading The Goshen, Indiana City Council voted earlier this month against changing its civil rights ordinance to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity after hearing six hours of debate. Two weeks earlier, the same council approved the same ordinance by a margin of 4-3. Nearly 150 people spoke to the council about the proposal before members voted 4-3 against it. One of the plan's sponsors voted against it, saying he became worried that the proposal would subject the northern Indiana city to a lawsuit. “I don't want Goshen to have to go through that,” said Councilman Chic Lantz. Some who supported the proposal said Goshen should be an open

place that protects people from discrimination. “The communities which are thriving and growing are those that are welcoming to minorities and various sexual orientations and women,” said Gina Liechty. Some Christians said they didn’t want to support sin. “By its very nature, homosexual actions are intrinsically evil,” said Goshen resident Robert Roeder. “This is not to say that all homosexuals are evil. We all suffer temptation.” The proposal’s other sponsor, Jeremy Stutsman, indicated that he will bring the ordinance back for discussion at a later date. The inclusive ordinance had received a wide support from

many groups, including Goshen’s Community Relations Commission; a group of 17 city pastors from Lutheran, Mennonite, Brethren and Presbyterian churches, and Goshen residents, businesspeople, educators and healthcare workers, many of whom spoke at the meeting. Indianapolis and Bloomington are the only two Indiana cities that currently include both sexual orientation and gender identity in their Civil Rights Ordinances. Four other Indiana cities and one county include sexual orientation in their laws. The past three governors, including Governor Mitch Daniels (R), have issued executive orders extending similar protection to the Indiana’s 35,000 state employees.

Pride Week Celebration Scheduled For University of Louisville Later this month the University of Louisville will be the site of a week long series of Pride events, including an appearance a nationally renowned figure in the transgender movement. The celebration will kick off at 11:30am on Monday, September 21 with a Pride Cookout on the west lawn of the Red Barn on the Belknap Campus. Vendors, free pride shirts,

and more will be offered. On Tuesday, September 22, a production of Pouring Tea: Black Gay Men of the South Tell Their Tales will be offered at 7:00pm at the Thrust Theatre. Among the other events will take place for the rest of the week, Calpernia Addams, a nationally recognized transgender activist from Nashville, will take place in

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the Humanities Building, Room 100, at 7:00pm on Thursday. Miss Addams will be honored by an after-hours party organized by Sienna at a downtown bar later that evening. For more information about U of L’s Pride Week festivities visit to www.Louisville.edu/lgbt.

SEPTEMBER 2009

RegionalCalendar sponsored by Mark England Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-profit community organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and professionals currently advertising in THE LETTER. Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol: [email protected]. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your message! 3rd Sundays 3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. For more information call (502) 3290229 or write [email protected]. Confidentiality respected. Every Monday 7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free. For movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT Calendar page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com. Every Monday 7:00pm. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus practice at Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church, 2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write DtnGayMensChorus@aol. com. Every Tuesday 2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group at The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati. (513) 241-1411. 6:00 - 8:00pm. Louisville Fairness Campaign Volunteer Meet-Up at 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For more information call Kyle (502) 893-0788 or write fairness@ fairness.org. 6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae Kwon Do training for GLBT community. Beginners & experienced welcome. For location write: [email protected]. 7:30pm. Women’s Tuesday Night Coming Out Group at Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati. (513) 535-2517. Every Thursday 6:30pm. Support group for all persons coping with all sorts of struggles. City of Refuge Worship Center, 1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 100, Louisville. Handicap accessible from back of building. 1st & 3rd Thursdays 7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432 Highland Avenue. Every 3rd Friday 7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s Coffee Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in Louisville. Music and readings, organized by Marie Davis, cartoonist for THE LETTER.

September 11 - 13 Underwear Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www.timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. Wednesdays: September 16 & October 21 6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confidential discussion group. For more information, including the meeting location, write: [email protected]. Saturdays: September 19 & October 17 8:00pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender support group in Louisville. For location leave a message: (502) 894-1048. For general information about the group visit www.tg-sienna.org. September 25 - 27 Pool Closing Party Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. October 2 - 4 Man Hunt & Hook-Up Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. Wednesdays: October 7 & November 4 7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group, Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850.

Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love 4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville) (502) 587-6935 Church School: 9:30am Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided) Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert www.CentralChurchKY.org

Church of the Advent (Episcopal)

No matter who you are, or where you are on your spiritual journey, you are welcome at Advent. 901 Baxter Avenue, Louisville (40204) (Intersection of Cherokee, Baxter and Broadway) Sundays: 8:00am & 10:30am Thursday Contemplative Prayer: 7:00pm www.advent.episcopalky.org (502) 451-6066

City of Refuge Worship Center

Come Worship Freely Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ 1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 101, Louisville (40217) (502) 762-8986 / (502) 495-2603 Rev. Randy Meadows, Pastor Sunday Bible Study: 9::30am Sunday Worship: 11:00am & 7:00pm Wednesday Worship: 7:00pm www.cityofrefugewc.org.

First Unitarian Church

Where Reason & Religion Meet 4th & York Streets, Louisville (502) 585-5110 Sunday Celebration of Life: 10:55am Wednesday Chalice Night: 5:30pm www.firstulou.org

Tuesdays: October 13 & November 10 7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667 Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more information call (937) 640-3333.

A Christian Church Where ALL People Are Welcome at the Table 1432 Highland Avenue, Louisville (502) 587-6225 Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm www.mcclouisville.org

Tuesdays: October 13 & November 10 7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road. For more information call (513) 721-7900.

details on page 2.

www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com

Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods SEPTEMBER 2009

Central Presbyterian Church

Mondays: October 12, 19 & 26 7:15pm. Dave VanderPol facilitates a Single Lesbian's Book Study & Journaling Group. Featured book:Finding The Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch. Location in Louisville’s Highlands neighborhood. Registration: $5.00, to be pre-paid through PayPal. For group guidelines, exact location and other information write: editor@ TheLetterOnline.com.

Saturday, November 14 7:00 – 11:00pm. Out & About Gala, a fundraiser for Kentucky Fairness Alliance. State Theater, 209 West SAVE THE DATE: Dixie Highway, Elizabethtown. Saturday October 31 Tickets are $50.00. For more Bluegrass Classic Bowling Tournament sponsors information or to purchase their annual Halloween Cruise on the Belle of tickets online visit www. kentuckyfairness.org. Louisville. Ticket information and other

Mark England

INCLUSIVE FAITH COMMUNITIES

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Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville

Progressive Pathways Fellowship

What Path Calls You? Mellwood Arts & Entertainment Center / #208 1/2 1860 Mellwood Avenue, Louisville (40206) Sunday Worship & Education: 5:30pm Wednesday Book Chat: 6:15pm www.progressivepathways.org

Inclusive Faith Communities listings are welcome from congregations throughout the six state region served by THE LETTER. Pre-paid listings cost $80.00 for six months or $140.00 for one year. For more information write [email protected]. The Letter

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Soulforce Q Seeks Young Adult Applicants for 2010 Equality Ride March 2010, young adults from around the country and around the world will embark on the fourth annual Equality Ride, a youth bus tour visiting religious colleges and universities across the United States to challenge on-campus discrimination against GLBT students. Guided by the principles of nonviolence, Equality Riders will engage in critical dialogue, direct action, and in some cases civil disobedience, to press for much-needed changes for GLBT students. “The Equality Ride is an opportunity for young adults to come together in the struggle for social justice,” says Asher Kolieboi, co-director of the Equality Ride. “It’s a way for both [GLBT] folks and straight allies to work together to address religious-based oppression and create safe spaces for queer youth on campuses across the country.” For two months Riders will stop at a variety of religious colleges and universities to meet with campus administrators and students, and engage local communities on a range of issues from the relationship between faith and sexuality to the

intersections of race and gender. “Like past Equality Rides, we hope to open dialogue on campus about issues affecting [GLBT] youth,” says Caitlin MacIntyre, Director of the Equality Ride. “But we’re also looking to build relationships between campus and the surrounding community to keep that conversation alive.” Inspired by the Freedom Rides of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s, the Equality Ride began in 2006 to address the over 200 U.S. colleges and universities with explicit policies that discriminate against GLBT students. Developed by Soulforce Q, the youth-driven arm of the national GLBT social justice organization Soulforce, the Equality Ride has stopped at nearly seventy academic communities since its inception, leading vigils, classroom presentations, worship services, and an assortment of direct actions to draw attention to the dangers of religion-based discrimination. Soulforce Q is now seeking applications for the upcoming ride. For information on how to apply, visit: www.equalityride.com.

Concert Will Raise Money For Fairness Campaign The musical talent of Shaun Popp and Ron Hampton will be featured during a concert on Saturday, September 19 at Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432 Highland Avenue. The concert begins at 8:00pm. An offering will be taken for the Fairness Campaign in honor of the 10th anniversary of passage of the local Fairness ordinance. The musical evening will include classical, jazz, pop, and contemporary selections with Shaun on the saxaphone and Ron on the piano, as well as performances by other artists.

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Louisville’s Fairness Campaign is currently working with other equality groups around the Commonwealth to pass nondiscrimination legislation statewide.

SEPTEMBER 2009

Pandora Productions Announces 2009 2010 Season Pandora Productions’ has announced that their 2009 - 2010 theatrical season will include five productions. The new season kicks off in a wonderfully wild and raucous way on Thursday evening, September 24, with The Rocky Horror Show. Rocky Horror is the madcap story of an ordinary couple and one unforgettable night at the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a mad scientist from the planet Transexual. Performances will continue through Sunday, October 4. The Kathy & Mo Show - Parallel Lives is the acclaimed comedy by Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney that debuted off Broadway and later became a wildly popular HBO special of the same name. Kicking off on Thursday evening, November 5, this hilarious production is a montage of scenes featuring a wide variety of characters, encompassing all ages, genders, and backgrounds, all portrayed in a hilariously insightful commentary on everyday life. On Thursday evening, January 7, Pandora will offer the regional premier of a sassy, satirical spin on

the classic tale of Cinderella. This brash and bawdy theatre event is all about Albert, a love-struck gay teen in San Francisco with a haughty, homophobic Stepmother, two odious stepsisters, and a dragloving Godmother. As Bees In Honey Drown, a satirical comedy about the pitfalls of the unquenchable hunger for fame, debuts on Thursday evening, March 11. Who will be chosen as Miss Glamoresse? Miss Bible Belt; Miss Industrial Northwest; Miss West Coast; Miss Industrial Northeast; Miss Great Plains; or Miss Texas? Find out as Pandora presents Pageant: The Musical, premiering Thursday, May 6. All productions are presented at the Henry Clay Bunbury Theatre, 604 South Third Street, 3rd Floor, in downtown Louisville. Running time for each show is approximately 2 hours with intermission. Evening performances begin at 7:30pm, all matinees start at 2:00pm. For ticket information visit www. PandoraProds.org or call (502) 2165502.

Lutheran Group Celebrates Passage Of Sexuality Document Last month pro-equality members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America celebrated the passage of a statement on Human Sexuality entitled, “Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust”. The document was one of many items on the agenda at the denomination’s biennial assembly that took place in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Emily Eastwood, Executive Director, Lutherans Concerned/ North America, said, "This is a day of progress and compromise. By a 2/3 majority the church has supported families of all kinds and has acknowledged without judgment the wide variety of views within the ELCA regarding lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender inclusion. The document recognizes the ministries of congregations SEPTEMBER 2009

which conduct blessings of same gender relationships and same gender marriages where such marriages are legal.” She went on to state that the “statement is tolerant of our differences both in scriptural interpretation and practice. The social statement supports our unity without requiring uniformity. There is still much work to do, but the door to full inclusion of LGBT members and their families is now most definitely open.” The statement, also referred to as “Social Statement”, now serves as a teaching document that describes the world and society that the ELCA lives and works in to provide ministry and spread the Gospel. The Social Statement provides the basis and guidance for the formulation of policy and

the creation of programs. The Social Statement was eight years in preparation and represents the work and contributions of thousands of Lutherans. Contentious because of

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its subject and content, the Social Statement now guides the work and understanding of the church as it relates to the sexual component of the lives of everyone the church reaches. The Letter

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Ice Cream Flavor Renamed To Celebrate Marriage Equality

September 11 - 13 Underwear Weekend Show Your Skivvies! September 25 - 27 Pool Closing Party Weekend October 2 - 4 Man Hunt & Hook-Up Weekend October 9 - 11 Roktober BearFest

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Ben & Jerry’s, known for its euphoric ice cream flavors and dedication to social justice, is celebrating the beginning of the freedom to marry for gay and lesbian couples in Vermont with the symbolic renaming of its wellknown ice cream flavor “Chubby Hubby” to “ H u b b y Hubby.” In partnership with Freedom to Marry, Ben & Jerry’s aims to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality and, to show its support, will serve “Hubby Hubby” sundaes in Vermont Scoop Shops throughout the month of September. Ben & Jerry’s has a long history of commitment to social justice, including gay rights. Its partnership with Freedom to Marry, a national leader in the movement for marriage equality, aims to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality and to encourage other states to follow the blazing trails of Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, and Maine. Freedom to Marry promotes the national conversation about why marriage equality matters and brings together partner organizations into a larger whole – a shared civil rights campaign. “At the core of Ben & Jerry’s values, we believe that social justice can and should be something that every human being is entitled to,” said Walt Freese, Chief Executive Officer of Ben & Jerry’s. “From the very beginning of our 30 year history, we have supported equal rights for all people. The legalization of marriage for gay and lesbian

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couples in Vermont is certainly a step in the right direction and something worth celebrating with peace, love and plenty of ice cream.” To kick off the celebration, Ben & Jerry’s and Freedom to Marry will be publicly supporting the first marriages of gay and lesbian couples in Vermont and raising awareness for marriage equality and how to take action by driving consumers to freedomtomarry. org. By logging onto the site, people can show their support, sign a Marriage Resolution Petition, have conversations about why marriage matters and learn more about how they can support the cause. “It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full, but the most important thing that all us ice cream lovers can do to support the freedom to marry is speak with the people we know about why marriage matters and the need to end marriage discrimination in every state”,” said Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry. “Thanks to Ben & Jerry’s, starting those needed conversations has never been sweeter – and thanks to Freedom to Marry, we all now have a great excuse to eat more ice cream.” For more information on why marriage equality matters and to take action in your state, please log on to freedtomarry. org. To learn more about Ben & Jerry’s social mission visit www. benjerry.com. SEPTEMBER 2009

SEPTEMBER 2009

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Reducing Suicide Within GLBT Community Focus Of Grant



cordially invites our readers to attend a

Lesbian Book Reading

on Saturday, September 26 beginning at 7:30pm. Come meet authors: Christy Ikner (PACKERS & POODLES), Marie Davis (HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE: A Naughty Tale for Lesbians & Other Grownups) and George Morrison (OUT FROM IT ALL: Revolutions In A Lesbian Life) Admission: $5.00 (includes light refreshments) For location and other details write: [email protected]

Safety Suggestions Make no mistake: Hate Crimes still happen – even in our region! The Discrimination Response Team at  Louisville's Fairness Campaign offers the following safety suggestions appropriate for any time you head out to area bars: Stay Alert—Awareness is your best self-defense. Watch Your Drink -- Make sure you know the person who is buying your drink, or buy your own. Watch your drink if you lay it down. Remember that drugs can be easily slipped into your glass! Trust Your Instincts—If you think something is wrong, believe your feelings and remove yourself from the situation. Project Confidence—While out walking, move like you know where you're going and keep your head up and look around. Carry A Whistle— Carry it on your person where it is easily accessible, like a jacket pocket or on your key chain. When you need help, blow the whistle. If you hear a whistle and see someone is in trouble, call 911 immediately. Remember to report all hate crimes! To give a confidential report about hate crimes in the metro Louisville area write: fairness@ fairness.org.

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The Letter

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) has received a $45,000 grant from the Johnson Family Foundation (JFF) to develop a project aimed at reducing suicidal behavior and suicide risk among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons. “There is increasing evidence that GLBT individuals, especially youth, have higher rates of suicide attempts as compared to heterosexuals of the same ages,” said Andrew Lane, executive director of JFF. “Significant efforts must be undertaken to reduce suicide behavior and risk among GLBT people. JFF’s grant to AFSP will ensure that the best available research informs the design of interventions that will hopefully save lives and promote wellbeing.” The funds will go towards a new AFSP prevention program called the “Knowledge to Practice Initiative” which is designed to lay the foundation for a national GLBT suicide prevention strategy. This strategy involves developing partnerships with national and local government organizations as well as other suicide prevention organizations and leading queer groups. The goal of these partnerships will be to spearhead more scientific research on GLBT suicide, develop specific projects

and activities geared to reducing suicidal behavior, and address the stigma and other factors that increase suicide risk for GLBT individuals. The Knowledge to Practice Initiative is a part of AFSP’s overall GLBT suicide prevention program. To read more about the Foundation’s initiatives visit www.afsp.org/lgbt. Both AFSP and JFF have an ongoing commitment to addressing LGBT suicide, and hope to engage other foundations and funding agencies to join in this effort. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a national notfor-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy as well as to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those affected by suicide. For more information visit www.afsp.org The Johnson Family Foundation is a progressive family foundation operating national grantmaking programs in the areas of environmental health and GLBT issues, as well as place-based grantmaking programs in Vermont, the New York City metropolitan area, Pittsburgh, and Telluride. For more information visit www.jffnd. org.

GLBT Parents Group Forming at U of L GLBT parents are starting to become more visible in our society. However, because of discrimination and homophobia in both the school systems and larger community, this population sometimes feels invisible. Many such families feel isolated by their communities and know of nowhere to turn for help. The Office for LGBT Services at the University of Louisville recognizes the need to support our families and is organizing a support group for parents (or those who are interested in becoming

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parents) who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender. This will be a place to meet other GLBT parents who can offer guidance and support. The group will facilitate discussion about general parenting issues as well as topics specifically relevant to the GLBT community. For more information contact Joey Feldman at jfeldman02@yahoo. com. You are welcome to join a Facebook.com group called “LGBT Parent Support Group (Louisville, KY)”.

SEPTEMBER 2009

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SEPTEMBER 2009

In Support Of The 2009 LOUISVILLE AIDS WALK

HIGHLAND CHIROPRACTIC

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SEPTEMBER 2009

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RADICAL SERENITY

Fairness-Friendly Churches Deserve More Attention My observation over the past decade is that anti-fairness churches are usually much more effective in motivating their members to oppose GLBT rights than are most of the churches who support equality. This is certainly true within the states that make up the “buckle of the Bible belt” (e.g., Kentucky, Tennessee, Indiana, etc.). The religious right isn’t shy about getting their adherents to write letters, make phone calls and show up at the state capitol. They even have a plethora of church busses and vans to provide transportation to high-profile events. What about our side? After all, a sizable percentage of churches and other religious organizations DO support GLBT equality. People of faith who support our rights deserve to have their voices heard. Yet my sense is that precious little is done by Fairness organizations – and certainly little if any money is spent

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– to formally enlist, train and engage inclusive-minded religious folks. As an Indiana native who has lived in Kentucky for nearly 20 years, my intuition tells me that statewide Fairness legislation will never become law in either state without a greater

by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor

effort to organize pro-fairness church and other Kentucky-based Fairness folks. I believe such an effort must organizations hire Judy Dale of begin with Fairness organizations Louisville to oversee contact with hiring someone to organize religious pro-fairness religious people and organizations in the Commonwealth. communities. I would not trust volunteers to Judy’s community activism spans undertake such an important task. more than two decades, with her So yes, this would take money to involvement in various organizations pay a religious organizer’s salary. going back to the 1980’s. A seminary graduate, Judy is This would be a wise investment, much respected especially given and loved by the deep pockets many fairnessand concerted friendly church efforts of our folks throughout opposition. Our Kentucky. I civil rights are believe she has the certainly worth administrative fighting for and gifts and people worth a generous Rev. Dee Dale, Carla Wallace and Judy Dale took investment of part in the 2009 Kentuckiana Pride Festival Parade skills to get the job done. our financial this past June. Judy’s spouse resources. My suggestion is that the of more than 20 years is Rev. Dee Dale, Kentucky Fairness Alliance, pastor of Metropolitan Community Louisville’s Fairness Campaign Church of Louisville.

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SEPTEMBER 2009

LIBERAL ON THE SAUCE

Surviving the American Health Care System

A couple of years ago I suspected I’d crossed a cultural divide after seeing some statistics on national income levels. Then last month I knew for sure while watching all those boisterous town hall protests against President Obama’s proposed national health care reforms. Everyone seemed overweight, white, and at or near retirement. There was hardly a minority face or working stiff in sight. It was then I knew I’d crossed the line from middle class to working poor. I couldn’t identify with anyone in the audience. You wouldn’t know it. I own my own house free and clear, I get rent from two apartments upstairs, I have a full-time job, and I have a little money stashed away here and there. I get a little side money from my art and writing. The main problem: expenses have risen while my income stagnated. I haven’t had a raise in three years. I’m not looking for sympathy. If I sold the house and all my assets, I’d be sitting pretty. But I shouldn’t have to do that. That’s my retirement fund. I inherited some of it, but I worked hard for the rest of it. If that goes, my only other option is running away to Key West, throwing away the razor, buying a parrot and an eye patch, and charging tourists $5 to be photographed with Captain Blarney. People who lose their jobs or have their homes seized by the banks certainly know right away they’re in deep do-do, but after the initial shock I’m sure most figure out a way to survive. A gradual slide like I’ve experienced is better, but not

by much. The adjustments are still shocking, just not as wrenching. Of course, the first to go were the frills: plays, concerts, movies, restaurants. Annual dues to the ACLU, Fairness, and other worthy causes were next, then magazine subscriptions and book purchases. I’ve managed to keep my cable and internet service, but I don’t drive anywhere unless there are several stops on the itinerary. I seldom drive for pleasure any more. Most of the time, the car sits in the back parking space. My social life is pretty simple now: happy hour at Tryangles or Woody’s on Fridays. So far I’ve been able to

keep up that little tradition, though as often as not I order well drinks now, not Wild Turkey. Oh, things are improving. I made my final car payment in June, and I’ve taken care of other bills. Next month I should be free and clear of the greedy credit card companies for good. I’ve got my ACLU membership back. I might be able to get new glasses to replace the ones I’m holding together with Scotch tape. But thoughts of dining out again are on hold, and the folder labeled “Vacation Plans” remains filed away somewhere. Which brings me back to those town hall meetings. Looking at them not with the eyes of a man raised in the

by David Williams middle class but those of a working stiff, I realized they were mainly gatherings of the haves, assemblies of people who like their health care just fine and don’t understand what the problem is. When any poor stiff tried speaking in favor of health care reform, they got booed down. I don’t know what polling might tell us, but I suspect those getting booed are the same ones struggling every day to make ends meet. In among them are those who had to get a second mortgage to pay for routine surgery. Many of them use emergency rooms as their doctor’s office. Then there are those whose parents died because they couldn’t afford a doctor at all, and grandma and grandpa, who have to decide each month whether to buy pills or food or pay for the heat. The American dream is still alive, but it could be more robust if we were all guaranteed some form of health care no matter what our economic status. A nation that spends billions on useless wars overseas ought to be able to find money to take care of the people those wars are supposedly protecting back home. Or has this country’s sense of decency and fair play gone the way of all those middle class values and Christian charity we used to cherish so dearly? David Williams is the founder of the Williams-Nichols Institute and the Kentucky Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives, which are housed at the University of Louisville’s Ekstrom Library.

No Other Regional GLBT Publication Offers FOUR Websites: www.TheLetterOnline.com / theletter.win.net theletterhead.win.net / transfatty.wordpress.com SEPTEMBER 2009

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SEPTEMBER 2009

GAY LOVE COACH

Your First Face-to-Face Meeting: What Will You Talk About? by Brian Rzepczynski, M.S.W.

Moving Beyond Online Chatting So you’ve more than likely been chatting it up online with a potential dating prospect that you’ve met through your personals ad and perhaps even progressed to talking a bit on the telephone. It is generally best practice to gradually move from email correspondence or online chatting to actually speaking “live” on the telephone before meeting in-person for the first time. This gets the acquaintanceship started at a reasonably good pace and allows you to learn more about each other through written and verbal words before taking the plunge to meet face-to-face, which for most people is the more vulnerable and nervewracking scenario. Take time to glean the information you receive about this new man through all your modes of communication you’ve had with each other before deciding whether he meets your compatibility criteria to even proceed with a physical meeting. This will help to save much time and energy in your quest for a good first date material. Prepping for the Big Moment It’s also important before segueing from phone conversation to direct face-to-face contact that you define for yourself the parameters of what this first encounter with your personals ad match means. It is generally helpful to view this first physical approach with each other as a “first meeting” as opposed to a “first date.” Labeling it as a “first date” can conjure up all sorts of anxiety, anticipation, and expectation that can be quite sabotaging and distracting. “The first meeting” is intended to be a brief and casual get-together to see if you and your personals match can build-upon the momentum of what has been achieved in your prior contacts and to determine if there is enough compatibility and chemistry to warrant pursuing a “first date” with each other as the next progression. Approaching “the first meeting” without any anticipation of outcome is an important key to staying in control of your dating life and to avoid any unnecessary disappointments and unrealistic expectations. You’re meeting a new person for the first time for some fun and captivating conversation, and if anything else materializes from that…bonus! Keep it grounded. So you’ve scheduled a time to meet up with this new prospect. What the heck to do you talk about? Communicating with someone online or on the telephone can be a lot different and less anxietyprovoking because of the sense of removal and space that exists between the two of you. Sitting face-to-face with a stranger that you’ve only just begun to develop an affiliation with through online methods can really be quite daunting for some people. Here are some tips for how to dialogue most effectively on your “first meeting” to make the SEPTEMBER 2009

experience satisfying and pleasurable for both of you. * To emphasize again, keep the focus on the fact that there is no expectation of outcome. This will

the things that he says, and show a genuine interest. One of the secrets to landing a date with someone or to making a good impression is to make sure you leave the encounter with that person feeling good about himself as a result of his interactions with you. * If you happen to run out of things to talk about or find yourself paralyzed with a mental block, it can be helpful to be appraised of current events so that you may have that news at your disposal to initiate a dialogue and learn more about your prospects views and opinions on various matters. * Discussions around religion, politics, and sex may be better postponed for later contacts due to the heaviness and potential controversy that exists in these topics. The “first meeting” should be light, fun, and positive. While it’s important to learn about each other’s sexual tastes and preferences, bringing this subject out in the first contact could send mixed signals that this is more of a “cruising” situation and that sex is a priority. The relationshipminded single keeps sex into perspective at its appropriate time and context.

help you to be more casual, relaxed, and to stay fully present and engaged with your prospect rather than be “stuck in your head” with worries about how you’re “performing” or whether this guy perceives you favorably. * Remember to keep the meeting short, timelimited and structured for the first time. It’s also advantageous to do something activity-oriented like going to a zoo or taking a short hike in a nature preserve. This gives you a built-in conversation piece by being able to talk about the cues in your immediate environment and surroundings rather than sitting there staring at each other in uncomfortable silence across a coffee shop table if you happen to freeze during a lull in the conversation. * Absolutely do not talk about anything negative! This means no talk about ex-boyfriends, past relationship baggage and scars, family problems, health or financial issues, etc. This is about putting your best foot forward and creating a climate of positive energy and attraction. DO talk about your dreams, goals, fantasies, passions, talents, work, vacations, etc. * This meeting is an opportunity for you to discover if this man across from you would be a potential goodness-of-fit with your personal requirements for a partner and relationship. Make sure you know what that would be for yourself and then weave these questions in naturally during the course of your conversation so that it doesn’t sound like an interview. * One of the greatest gifts you can give your prospect is to show curiosity in who he is as a person. Ask him questions about himself, validate

Additional Suggestions * Get your hands on a book called “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” by Ann Demarais, PhD. This is a great resource that I have my own clients read when it comes to learning how to make a good first impression, whether it’s for a business meeting, a social event, or a dating situation. It’s got great information for getting through the “first meeting” with a dating prospect. You can purchase it here at Amazon for your convenience if you prefer: http://www.amazon.com/First-ImpressionsWhat-About-Others/dp/0553382012/?tag=the gaylovecoa-20 * Before your meeting, make a list of all the possible topics you could talk about when you guys get together. Obviously, spontaneous conversations will come across more naturally and flow better, but just in case you need a back-up plan, having some conversation-starters in your back pocket can help ease your mind. Remember to include questions about your own personal requirements for a partner and relationship, and if you don’t know what these are, spend some time creating this very important list that ultimately becomes your dating screening tool. Enjoy your “first meeting!” Have a blast!

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©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights reserved. To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

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GAY & FEMINIST

The Right to Enter

I came across a really interesting article in the Chicago Tribune by Dawn Turner Trice describing a recent trend in gay bars to ban bachelorette parties from holding their festivities there. The argument being that because same-sex marriage is such a contentious issue right now (especially post-Prop 8), isn't it a little condescending for a group of heterosexual women to use a gay space to celebrate rights that we are denied? At the risk of disenfranchising my straight female friends and readers, I must agree with those bar owners who have chosen to ban hen's nights from occurring in what is supposed to be a queer space. When I worked at the strip club, I would see bachelorette parties there at least once a week, which I found annoying, odd, and somewhat fun. I was glad that these women were comfortable in such an overtly sexual space, even if the sexual imagery was not intended to them. However, it was incredibly annoying, because being a skinny,

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by Eric Jost unmuscular twink at the time, most of the women had no interest in me and would always tip the most heteronormative dancers. And at the end of the night, I wanted my money! The notion of actually banning bachelorette parties from queer spaces for political reasons is something that never occurred to me, but it does make sense. Even when I go to gay clubs and bars today and see bachelorette parties -- or hear about friends who have them there -- I feel slightly resentful. I know these women generally mean well, but it always makes me feel like they've come to see the freaks. Especially when drag is involved. I just imagine these women recounting the story years later, "Hey, remember the time we went to that gay bar?! Wasn't that just crazy?! We are such fag hags!" These are probably the same women who voted against samesex marriage on religious or moral grounds -- not possibly because they are homophobic or hateful.

I also find it interesting that the women who frequent these bars, as Trice highlights in her article, justify going to them by saying that men at straight clubs are too creepy or gross and they don't want to be objectified. OK, then just come to our bars so you can objectify us as playthings. I feel like you can't have it both ways. If I was feeling "too objectified" at a gay bar, I wouldn't pack it up and go to a straight bar -- because I prefer being sexualized to being bashed -- I would just not go to a bar that night. As LGBTQ people, we don't necessarily have an "alternative" space to go to if we're tired of the same old scene. We created queer spaces as a way to feel safe and comfortable in a specific location; and while I sympathize with the desire to go out and not have to worry about prying eyes or grasping hands, no one really has the right to enter another person or group's domain without being invited. I do want to acknowledge all

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of my wonderful straight female friends who I would make an exception for. Many of them are out there protesting alongside us. They have stood up and reprimanded people who use anti-gay epithets. And I know more than one of them got me through the very difficult process of coming out. But ladies, please, before you select a setting for your bachelorette party, consider the implications. Eric Jost is a freelance writer living in Washington, DC. His work ranges from embarrassing firstperson narratives to commentaries on queer rights and sex positive culture; with work having appeared in SX (Sydney, Australia), Storyscape, $pread Magazine, and the anthology, Beyond Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on Gender and Politics. His weekly column, “Culture Voyeur,” appears online. You can check out more of his work at www.eric-jost.com.

SEPTEMBER 2009

BEYOND THERAPY

Why We Love Our Pets

If you want to see something amazing, Google: “gay people and their pets”. There are hundreds of photos and short essays on why we love our animals so…and I don’t just mean dogs and cats, there are horses, ferrets, tortoises…you name it! Why are we so in love with our pets? If you are not a pet lover, this article may make you gag. But, if so, think about it: what’s not to like about pets? The most popular pets are dogs and cats, some of us have fish and birds and some of us have horses, snakes, lizards, newts and more. In general, pets are loyal, playful, friendly (depends on the pet you choose) and they’re good listeners… they DO “get” our emotions and often respond (anatomy permitting). Pets give us great opportunities to practice love. People are harder to love, I think. We’re so unpredictable and moody, we’re not always glad to see you when you come home, especially if you’re late and didn’t call. Pets don’t care if you’re late or you look like hell or you want to vent about your awful boss. They love you as you are, listen to your (boring) stories and may even nuzzle against you if you shed a few tears over a date that didn’t work out or a lousy job interview. Pets are great ways to get out of the house and be out in nature: dogs, cats, horses and many other animals like to be outside…and encourage us to join them. Pets help us to be social. Many psychological studies confirm that single people living alone typically have better mental health if they have a pet. When I worked as a therapist at a local Hospice, we had some

by Michael Kimmel

lovely people who brought in “love dogs” for everyone to pet. I have seen research that shows that petting animals lowers our blood pressure. We also allowed people to bring their cats into their Hospice rooms because research showed that

people who have their animals around them heal faster. Need more reasons to appreciate pets? If you’re shy but want to meet more people, you might consider getting a dog. Walking a dog is a great way to meet people. Dogs are very attractive to people who like dogs (most of us?) and make conversations easy to start and maintain (just focus on the dog, not how nervous you are talking to

that cute guy/girl). Friendly dogs are like magnets…and the dogs usually like the attention too. Pets let us experience being responsible for another being. It’s a good way to stretch yourself and see what you’re ready for. A low maintenance pet (like fish) may be a good start. A big ole dog who needs space and wants to be walked and

petted and paid attention to is another level of commitment. Pets can’t tell us they need to go to the doctor (not in spoken English, anyway), so we have to pay attention to them and learn their cues and body language. For some of us, our pets are a crucial part of our life, and any potential partner would have to be okay with that. An example of this is the website www.PetPeopleMeet. com. As they say in their ad, “Meet single pet owners. Free to join. 1000s of pictures of Beatufiul Single Pet

Owners.” I checked it out and they had both opposite- and same-sex match-ups. A website like this exists because - for many of us - a potential partner would have to love our pet as much as they love us. We and our pet(s) are a package deal! What about pets as substitute children? Is it true that, as stereotypes about us LGBT folks go, that our pets are substitutes for “real” children? I think this is stereotype isn’t about our sexual orientation as much it is about personal preferences. Many straight people prefer pets over kids…and many LGBT folks have both kids and pets, so let’s not buy into that stereotype. In my biased opinion, pets are not substitutes for anything; they are enough just being their wonderful selves. Children are a whole other phenomenon. Not better, just different. At least, this is what my cat tells me… Talk about a diverse background, therapist Michael Kimmel earned a Master’s Degree in Developmental Psychology from Sarah Lawrence College while interning for Sesame Street in New York City. He currently resides in San Diego where he maintains a private psychotherapy practice and offer workshops for the Southern Californian GLBT community. Michael is currently editing his first book: Life Beyond Therapy that is expected to hit the bookstores sometime next year. You may reach Michael through his website: www.lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in five languages. Her first novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is [email protected]. SEPTEMBER 2009

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OUTLOOK WITHIN

Stunning Young Man

My friend describes him in enough detail that I map the geography of his upper body in my mind. A faint trail leads southward from the oasis of navel. Northward, the ridgeline runs through a ripple of abs to where well-defined pecs rise up, capped by salmon-brown peaks of areola and nipple. Strong neck, square jaw, stubbled chin. Lips full in the flower of youth. Dusting of moustache, unapologetic nose, blue blue eyes. Windblown bangs drift across his forehead. What in his upbringing could prepare him to fathom his own beauty? He recently came out to himself after growing up in a conservative religious tradition. His rugged good looks and generous endowment garner much attention. Heady stuff, I imagine, for one who spent years denigrating himself and his “sinful” desires. He has thrown himself into the gay sexual scene with abandon. He supplements his sensual exploration with heavy drug use. He regularly engages in barebacking and other risky sexual practices. “I suppose I should get tested.” he says and laughs. His voice tone says he has no such intention. His

by Bryn Marlow

behavior says he wants it all, wants it now, wants it with no holds barred. No time to think, no time to consider. Take, taste, feel, feel, feel. In his poem Syringe, Jim Wise describes meeting The stunning blond god, His muscles straining against The taut flesh of a body he Was just learning to enjoy. The handsome youth of the poem employs sex as a means of getting heroin into his system. He strips sex of its potential for celebration, emotional connection, a sense of being present to another human being. People make such choices. So do gods. I feel sad when I tot up the costs. What my friend's young friend seeks in his headlong rush, I don’t know. To heighten sensation? Numb the pain of losses incurred in coming out? Blot out the confusion of so many new choices? I doubt that he knows himself. I do not condone his choices, yet I recognize the wild eruption of feeling, the recklessness, the sense that the shackles have been thrown off and anything goes. I felt a similar

rush in my coming out journey. Behavior has consequences. How else to find the limits of the permissible? Yet we kick against the goads. The gay poet Cavafy observes (in this translation from the Greek) He swears every now and then to begin a better life, But when night comes with its own counsel, Its own compromises and prospects— When night comes with its own power Of a body that needs and demands, He goes back, lost, to the same fatal pleasure. In coming out I encountered men who shepherded me, acted as mentors, offered sage advice, modeled appropriate behaviors. I also found men who stood ready to take advantage of my naivete. While I learned something from both sets of men, I have maintained friendships with only one group. We do others a favor, and bless ourselves and our entire community when we treat others with respect and genuine regard. We can celebrate

the body electric—the body erotic, the body taut with pleasure and discovery of its own sexiness—in ways that honor the sacredness of all life, affirm the expression of our sexual selves, and build community at the same time. Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives with his husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana farmstead where they raise chickens and flowers.

Carmichael’s Bookstore Welcomes I.U. Author GLBT History Website Sponsoring Contest On Friday, September 18th at 7:00pm Carmichael’s Bookstore and The Fairness Campaign welcome Indiana University professor Mary Gray for a discussion and book signing for her new book, Out In The Country: Youth, Media, and Queer Visibility in Rural America. The book maps out the experiences of young people living in small towns across rural Kentucky, providing a fascinating and often surprising look at the contours of gay life beyond the big city. Out in the Country is a timely and groundbreaking study of sexuality and gender, new media, youth culture, and the meaning of identity and social movements in the digital age. The talk and book-signing will take place at Carmichael's Crescent Hill store, 2720 Frankfort Avenue. Admission is free. 20

The Letter

Mary Gray

OutHistory.org is a new website focusing on GLBT history in the United States. Hosted by the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies at the City University of New York, Graduate Center, the website allows anyone to add discussion threads, create new pages, or upload images, audio or video files. In honor of the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, OutHistory. org is hosting a “Since Stonewall Local Histories Contest.” The contest invites users to create online exhibits about the history of local LGBTQ communities in their town, village, city, county or state since 1969. To enter the contest simply create and finalize an exhibit about a local LGBTQ community by March 31, 2010. A panel of judges convened by OutHistory.org will assess the exhibits and OutHistory.org will announce the top five exhibits,

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which will receive prizes from $1,000 to $5,000 on June 28, 2010. In the fall of 2010, OutHistory.org will host an event showcasing the winning exhibits. OutHistory.org users have already created exhibits about the histories of LGBTQ life in places such as Tippecanoe County, Indiana, Columbia, South Carolina and Champaign-Urbana, Illinois.

Got suggestions to make THE LETTER even better? Dave VanderPol is all ears! [email protected] SEPTEMBER 2009

DINING OUT

Swedish Dining in Chicago Imagine starting off your morning with a plate loaded with two warm homemade cinnamon rolls, lush with vanilla frosting. Imagine that is only your prelude to a full breakfast. I was recently in Chicago visiting family when our group decided to go out for breakfast in the city. We chose Ann Sather, a Swedish restaurant with four Chicago locations. Ann Sather is famous for the aforementioned rolls and they certainly played a key role in our decision on where to dine. The original Ann Sather can be found in the Lakeview neighborhood on West Belmont. Because of convenience we opted to try the Andersonville Ann Sather. Andersonville is the city’s original Swedish area of Chicago and there are still reminders of its heritage in the businesses located around Clark Street. Andersonville is also home to a diverse group of people and businesses including many Hispanic and Middle Eastern eateries and bakeries as well as being one of Chicago’s largest gay and lesbian communities. In fact the owner of Ann Sather is Tom Tunney, the openly gay 44th Ward Alderman whose area encompasses the Lakeview neighborhood. Ann Sather is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and the breakfast menu is available all day. The Andersonville location is not terribly large but the interior allows for a substantial number of tables as well as a counter where you can dine. The restaurant could do with a subtle makeover but the comforting blue and cream colors as well as the wooden architectural highlights of the room make it an inviting place to enjoy a meal. The staff was quite accommodating to our group of nine and quickly put some tables together toward the front of the room. In addition to the regular menu, there was a list of specials available that day. As we perused the menu, our waitperson brought coffee and water. I did note that Ann Sather is BYOB but they proudly stated that they have all the ingredients for Bloody Marys and Mimosas. Good to know for any future brunches at the restaurant! SEPTEMBER 2009

by Beth Ann Rubin

Swedish Meatballs

If you plan on visiting Chicago in the near future, I highly recommend Ann Sather. Just go hungry and plan on making that your meal for the day. A couple of rolls and eggs will certainly see you through lunch. And make a point of exploring the neighborhoods, either Andersonville or Lakeview. Ann Sather - Andersonville 5207 North Clark Ann Sather - Lakeview 909 West Belmont

Ann Sather - Broadway 3411 North Broadway

Ann Sather - Southport 3416 North Southport

The menu leans towards eggs but there are a number of pancake and waffle options as well. Egg choices range from Benedicts to three egg Omelettes to breakfast wraps. All egg entrees come with a choice of two sides. Prices start at $6.25 for two eggs and top out at $11.95 for the Monte Cristo breakfast which is French toast topped with ham, eggs and Swiss cheese, and the Classic which consists of three eggs with beef tenderloin served on top of grilled Portobello mushrooms with

pesto and blue cheese. Yum. The average price for breakfast is $8.95. Don’t forget that includes the famous cinnamon rolls! I selected the Traditional Benedict ($8.95) which included two poached eggs with country ham and Hollandaise. I opted for the rolls and fresh fruit as my sides. My husband tried the Potato Pancakes with applesauce ($7.95) while several people at the table chose the two egg option with meat ($8.50). A few also made their own omelettes ($8.50 with one ingredient and each additional ingredient $.50). The younger individuals in our party ordered pancakes. When we questioned our server as to the size of the hotcakes, she indicated that were about six inches in diameter. The pancakes arrived at the table overflowing off the plates. Everyone, with the exception of my Father and the pancake eaters ordered the cinnamon rolls. They come to the table before your entrée and you want to devour the entire plateful. The rolls are served warm with the frosting oozing down the side and the aroma of the cinnamon literally wafting through the air. Most of us could only finish one of the rolls, if that but they do provide boxes and some of us were eating rolls for the next few days. As we patted our full tummies,

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along came our main dish. Had I known how filling the rolls could be, I never would have ordered a meal. A dish of fresh fruit and the rolls would have made a satisfying breakfast for me. However, the Eggs Benedict beckoned and I was able to eat one of the pair. The eggs were perfectly poached and the slightly lemony Hollandaise finished the dish quite nicely. All of the pancake eaters were quite happy with his or her meal and those that selected the two egg option were probably the smartest of all of us. A walk up and down Clark Street was definitely in order after a breakfast at Ann Sather. The dinner menu does include a classic Swedish sampler dish if you are interested in that cuisine. The Swedish Sampler ($13.95) includes Roasted Duck with Lingonberries glaze, Swedish meatball, Swedish potato sausage, Buttered noodles, Sauerkraut and Swedish brown beans. The menu at the Belmont location has a greater variety of entrees but there is something about eating Swedish cuisine in the heart of the Swedish neighborhood. If you plan on visiting Chicago in the near future, I highly recommend Ann Sather. Just go hungry and plan on making that your meal for the day. A couple of rolls and eggs will certainly see you through lunch. And make a point of exploring the neighborhoods, either Andersonville or Lakeview. Both play host to some unique businesses that you probably won’t find in Kentuckiana.

Beth Ann Rubin has been reviewing restaurants for THE LETTER for nearly four years. A Chicago native, Beth Ann and her family live just south of Louisville's Highlands neighborhood. A talented cook in her own right, over the years her baked goods have earned her numerous awards at the Kentucky State Fair. The Letter

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A lonely, closeted city teacher escapes to the Czech countryside in search of a new life in this tender, poignant d r a m a . Dark-haired, bespectacled and painfully shy, young natural sciences teacher Petr (Pavel Liška) inexplicably leaves a prestigious Prague school to work with students in a small school in the countryside. The farmers and villagers are perplexed but quickly accept him into their community. Among them is widow Marie (Zuzana Bydžovská), who, with her handsome 17-year-old son, rigorously tend a farm. The young teacher becomes friends with the woman, but romance does not develop, much to Marie’s disappointment. It soon becomes clear that the painfully unhappy Petr is gay but fears that that he cannot tell a soul, especially the conservative villagers. But, when drunk one night, Petr's lust gets the better of him and his actions threaten to destroy all that he has worked for. Vividly drawn, complex characters (including some memorable supporting ones); the beautiful Czech countryside; and themes such as the fear of intimacy, and the search for affection, acceptance and redemption make this both an entertaining and affecting story. (Czech with English subtitles) Country Teacher is available for rent at Wild & Willy Video, conveniently located in Louisville’s Highlands neighborhood.

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