The Letter August 2009

LETTER VOLUME 20, ISSUE 8 • AUGUST 2009

17th Annual Louisville AIDS Walk Breaks Tradition, Moves To 2nd Sunday of September

Since it began in 1993, the Louisville AIDS Walk has taken place on the last Sunday of September. With the growing number of fundraising walks for various non-profit groups in Kentuckiana and a plethora of community events taking place in late September and early October, a decision was made to move the walk to the 2nd Sunday of September. So the 2009 Louisville AIDS Walk will take place on Sunday, September 13.

The Louisville AIDS Walk has a proud history of heightening awareness of HIV/AIDS concerns and raising money to address the needs of those in our community infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Thanks to the generosity of corporate sponsors and hard work of hundreds of volunteers, 100% of the Walk’s proceeds are distributed to local AIDS organizations providing critical services to people with HIV/ AIDS. For a schedule of this year’s walkrelated events and other information, including a downloadable pledge form, visit www.louisvilleaidswalk. org. You may also donate to the walk directly through the event’s website.

Kentuckiana Pride Shines With Support For 2009 AIDS Walk The 2nd Annual Rock for the Ribbon event sponsored by the Kentuckiana Pride Festival (KPF) will be held on Saturday, September 12th. All profits will be donated to the Louisville AIDS Walk. The event billed as “dress to impress” or “show your style” is a casual cocktail and dance event. The evening will kick off with live piano music and transition to a DJ. There will be light hor d’ouevres and an open bar. Doors open at 8:00pm with the party ending at 11:00pm. This year's Rock for the Ribbon will be hosted at The Event Company, 1001 West Main Street, 2nd floor. This site is handicap accessible with prior notice being given to KPF by (502) 649-4851. Gary and Cheryl Loeser, owners of The Event Company, have a long history of being very supportive of KPF and have been incredible in their continued support of the Louisville

AIDS Walk since buying the company in 2000. The Event Company's founder, Ty Williams, who died of AIDS, was one of the founders of the Louisville AIDS Walk and their annual service award bears his name. Tickets will be $20.00 in advance and $25.00 at the door. They may be purchased from Pride Festival members. For tickets and more information write to volunteer@ kentuckianapridefestival.com or call the KPF phone numbered listed above. For the second year, members of the Kentuckiana Pride Festival will roll up their sleeves and host the concessions for the AIDS Walk on Sunday, September 13th. Hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and soft drinks will be sold with all proceeds being donated to the Walk. Concessions will be open at 11:00am and will remain open until the Walk begins.

Psychologist’s Resolution Underscores Harm Posed By “Ex-Gay Therapy” On August 5 the American Psychological Association adopted a resolution stating that mental health professionals should avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments. The “Resolution on Appropriate Affirmative Responses to Sexual Orientation Distress and Change Efforts” also advises that parents, guardians, young people and their families avoid sexual orientation treatments that portray

homosexuality as a mental illness or developmental disorder and instead seek psychotherapy, social support and educational services "that provide accurate information on sexual orientation and sexuality, increase family and school support and reduce rejection of sexual minority youth." The approval, by APA’s governing Council of Representatives, came at APA’s annual convention, during which a task force presented a report that in part examined the efficacy of socalled “reparative therapy,” or sexual

orientation change efforts (SOCE). “Contrary to claims of sexual orientation change advocates and practitioners, there is insufficient evidence to support the use of psychological interventions to change sexual orientation,” said Judith M. Glassgold, PsyD, chair of the task force. “Scientifically rigorous older studies in this area found that sexual orientation was unlikely to change due to efforts designed for this purpose. Contrary to the claims of SOCE practitioners and advocates,

recent research studies do not provide evidence of sexual orientation change as the research methods are inadequate to determine the effectiveness of these interventions.” Glassgold added: “At most, certain studies suggested that some individuals learned how to ignore or not act on their homosexual attractions. Yet, these studies did not indicate for whom this was possible, how long it lasted or its long-term mental health effects. Also, this result See EX-GAY THERAPY HARM on page 10

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays Coming out? Don’t face it alone! PFLAG is for more than just for parents, families and friends. We’re also here for you! SUPPORT

EDUCATION

ADVOCACY

We meet the Third Sunday of the month at 3:00pm at First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. Use the west entrance closest to the alley. Questions? Leave a confidential message and one of our members will return your call.

(502) 329-0229.

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Israeli Officials Condemn Shooting at Tel Aviv Gay and Lesbian Center Top Israeli officials, including the prime minister and the president, have strongly condemned the August 1 attack at a gay and lesbian center in Tel Aviv, where a gunman shot and killed two people and wounded 15 others. As of press time, the gunman fled the scene and hasn’t been caught or identified. An Israeli police spokesman said the shooting appears to be a criminal attack, rather than a terrorist act related to the Arab-Israeli conflict. The two people who died were Nir Katz, 26 and Liz Trubeshi, 17. Said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, "I would like to strongly condemn the shocking murders that were perpetrated… in Tel Aviv…We will bring him to justice and treat him with the utmost severity of the law. I would also like to send my condolences to the families of the victims and my wishes for a quick recovery to the injured…I would like to take this opportunity to say to all of

AUGUST 2009

Israel's citizens: We are a democratic country, a country of tolerance, a law-abiding state, and we will honor every person regardless of his or her beliefs.” Israeli President Shimon Peres also spoke out strongly against the attack: “The shocking murder in Tel Aviv last night is the kind of murder that an enlightened and cultured people cannot accept.” In general, Israel has adopted a progressive stance on gay rights and has passed legislation to protect those rights. Gay marriages, performed outside Israel, are recognized by the state, and same-sex couples are permitted to adopt. In addition, gays serve openly in the military. The gay community has gained wide acceptance throughout Israeli society, including in the political, legal, military and cultural realms, and the city of Tel Aviv has one of the most flourishing gay and gay-friendly communities in the world.

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Efforts Move Forward To Overturn "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" Policy Ameriprise Financial helps you stay true to your dreams. Ameriprise Financial has been a leader in financial planning for the gay and lesbian community for decades. As an Ameriprise financial advisor, I can help you plan to achieve your most important goals including starting your own business, adopting or just retiring in comfort. I can also help you plan to meet your immediate needs with investment advice, estate planning strategies and financial planning with your partner. Simply put, we believe in your dreams. I can help you plan to make them happen. Ameriprise Financial is proud to be recognized with another perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index.

To start a conversation call (502) 244-4114 today. Todd Metcalf, CRPC® Financial Advisor Chartered Retirement Planning CounselorSM 12700 Townepark Way Danville Bldg. Suite 100 Louisville, KY 40243 (502) 244-4114 x 318 Toll Free: (866) 922-9708 [email protected] ameripriseadvisors.com/todd.a.metcalf

Financial planning and investment services available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Ameriprise Financial cannot guarantee future financial results. © 2008 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

“I don’t mind straight people, as long as they act gay in public.” — Anonymous

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After a week of upsets for opponents the Civil Rights Act to include LGBT of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT), The Americans." Power (www.ThePowerOnline.org), David Mixner is a major donor an online campaign to include GLBT to Democratic candidates who was people in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, arrested in front of the White House has announced new endorsements in 1993 after his friend, President Bill from Justin Elzie and David Mixner, Clinton, broke a personal promise two major figures in the debate over to him to lift the ban on gays in the the policy. They join Senator Kirsten military. Gillibrand, a vocal critic of DADT, Emphasizing the need for grass who last month also endorsed The roots efforts such as The Power, Power’s campaign. Mixner said, “With the ear of the The endorsements come after president, his goodwill towards reports that the White House LGBT Americans, and the quick pressured Congressional law makers stroke of his pen, I thought we to table legislation that would have could open the door to full equality suspended enforcement of DADT and by ending the ban on openly LGBT continue a pattern of GLBT activists, people serving in the military. Alas, thwarted by White House delays, we weren’t organized as a movement demanding full equality now. like Dr. King was. Our civil rights Justin Elzie was a sergeant in the movement was overly reliant on the United States Marine Corps in 1993 newfound inside influence we had. when he became “If you want to the first soldier ever realize the dream investigated and of an LGBT Civil discharged under Rights Act in your the Don’t Ask lifetime, look not Don’t Tell policy. to Washington Said Elzie, “I was insiders, but deeply saddened to your own to hear that both backyard. Look Rep. Alycee to your family, Hastings and Sen. neighbors, coKirsten Gillibrand workers, parishes, have withdrawn LGBT friends and their amendments straight friends. to stop Tell them to stand pending DADT with you and put —David Mixner their names on The investigations and discharges until a Power’s petition permanent repeal to expand the is passed due to Civil Rights Act to pressure from the White House include ‘gender identity’ and ‘sexual and Democratic congressional orientation.’ Standing together, we leadership. But even when we repeal are a movement. We have the power. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, under current Now is our time.” law, LGBT service-members will The Power (www.ThePowerOnline. return to civilian life as second class org) launched a nationwide petition citizens. This is why I am giving my on the 40th anniversary calling on strong endorsement to The Power's Congress to expand the Civil Rights petition to expand the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to include protections Act to include "gender identity" for LGBT people. The petition and "sexual orientation." I served as has already been signed by people a Marine to defend the civil rights from all fifty states and thirty-six and liberties that make our country countries. The petition’s launch great. Today I am now denied those moved Congressman Jerrold Nadler same liberties as a civilian gay man. (D-NY), Chairman of the House As a civilian and a proud American Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee I urge my LGBT sisters and brothers on the Constitution, Civil Rights, in the armed services, and all who and Civil Liberties to announce his support our troops, to demand an intention to draft legislation that will immediate repeal of DADT and to include GLBT people in all federal sign The Power's petition to expand civil rights laws.

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“If you want to realize the dream of an LGBT Civil Rights Act in your lifetime, look not to Washington insiders, but to your own backyard."

AUGUST 2009

LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO GET BACK ON TRACK? YOU NEED A NEW PERSPECTIVE. Learn about practical steps you can take now to move forward with confidence. Ameriprise Financial invites you to join us for a special event:

Understand Today, Own Your Tomorrow: A New Perspective on Your Finances Attend this complimentary event and learn how you can: > Invest your savings safely and securely > Manage everyday expenses and reduce debt > Build up an emergency fund > Keep your retirement goals within reach July 23, 2009 at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, August 27 at 7:00 p.m. 12700 Townepark Way, Suite 100 Louisville, KY 40243 Space is limited. Please RSVP by July 17, 2009 Call (502) 244-4114 or email [email protected]

This is an educational seminar. There is no cost or obligation for attending. Presented by: Todd A. Metcalf, CRPC® Financial Advisor 12700 Townepark Way, Suite 100 Louisville, KY 40243 [email protected] ameripriseadvisors.com/todd.a.metcalf Financial planning services and investments offered through Ameriprise Financial Services Inc., Member FINRA and SIPC. © 2009 Ameriprise Financial Inc. All rights reserved.

AUGUST 2009

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Post Office Box 7842 Louisville, KY 40257 Founded in June 1990 by Jeffrey Goldsmith & Humphrey Marshall EXECUTIVE EDITOR/WEBMASTER ADVERTISING & DISTRIBUTION: Dave VanderPol: (502) 332-4632 [email protected] HIV RESOURCES EDITOR Brad Hampton [email protected] With an estimated readership of over 14,000, THE LETTER is distributed throughout the seven state region of Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Tennessee, Illinois, & Missouri

REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS Cubbie Britches Michael Kimmel Mike Buford Bryn Marlow Michael X. Chanak Brandon Monson Marie Davis Beth Ann Rubin Bryan Gatewood Brian Rzepczynski James Hensley Tina Storm Christy Ikner David Williams Eric Jost Hazel Zimmerman Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any person, organization, or business in articles or advertising in THE LETTER or on its companion website is not to be construed as an indication of the sexual orientation of such person, organization or business. THE LETTER assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials submitted for publication. THE LETTER reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement. © 2009, The Letter News All rights reserved.

SEPTEMBER 2009 DEADLINES Press releases and Regional Calendar items must be received no later than Monday, August 24, 2009. Advertising reservations must be received no later than Monday, August 31, 2009.

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Obama Awards Milk, King High Civilian Honors President Obama has selected two members of the GLBT community (one living and one deceased) among those to receive the prestigious Presidential Medal of Freedom awards. Along with familiar names like Desmond Tutu, Stephen Hawking and Chita Rivera there were two very familiar GLBT names: Slain San Francisco Supervisor and gay rights leader Harvey Milk and athlete Billy Jean King, one of the first openly lesbian stars in the sports world. The Medal of Freedom was originally established by President Harry Truman in 1945 to recognize civilians who had "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors". Other honorees include: U.S. civil rights leader Rev. Joseph Lowery, who helped organize the Montgomery bus boycott after Rosa Parks was denied a seat; he later co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Joe Medicine Crow, native American historian, the last living Plains Indian war chief and "the last person alive to have received direct oral testimony from a participant in the Battle of the

Little Bighorn.'' Sandra Day O'Connor, the first woman ever to sit on the United States Supreme Court. Sidney Poitier, groundbreaking African American actor and the first to be nominated and win a Best Actor Academy Award. Chita Rivera, powerhouse twotime Tony Award-winning actress, singer, and dancer who made her fame as Anita in "West Side Story,'' and has broken barriers for Latinos in a lifetime of outstanding work. Mary Robinson, the first female President of Ireland and the former United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights. Janet Davison Rowley M.D., geneticist, the first scientist to identify a chromosomal translocation as the cause of leukemia and other cancers. Desmond Tutu, Anglican Archbishop emeritus and the leading anti-apartheid activist in South Africa. Muhammad Yunus, the Nobel Peace Prize winner and economist who pioneered the use of "micro-loans" in anti-poverty campaigns to provide life-changing credit which has become the foundation of small businesses for millions of poor individuals without collateral.

Department of Justice: HIV Discrimination Won’t Stand On July 16, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) sent a clear message to state licensing boards and occupational training schools that discrimination against people with HIV will not stand. The fact sheet issued by the DOJ informed various institutions that preventing people with HIV from entering professions like barbering, massage therapy and home health care assistance violates the Americans with Disabilities Act. The new guidance came, in part, as a response to requests from Lambda Legal. The organization’s request was included in a 15-point HIV civil rights policy blueprint Lambda Legal was key in developing for the Obama administration's first 100 days. Lambda Legal and other interested groups also provided the DOJ with a list of several recent examples of people with HIV facing discrimination from state licensing boards and training schools. According to the DOJ fact sheet, because HIV is considered a disability under the ADA, any state licensing agencies or trade schools that bar people with HIV are in violation of federal law. The fact sheet concludes that it is safe for people with HIV to work in these professions: "circumstances do not exist for the transmission of HIV in a school or workplace setting, including those involving massage therapy, cosmetology, or home healthcare services."

Facebook Group Community Mourns Death Of Popular Gay Author Welcomes Kentucky Members of the gay community black men on the down low - that is, are mourning the death of E. Lynn men who are publicly heterosexual GLBT Christians Harris. The popular gay author died on Thursday, July 23 in Los Angeles. He was 54 years old. As of press time it is believed that heart disease claimed his life. An obituary in the New York Times described Harris as "one of the nation's most popular writers," and said: "Mr. Harris clearly tapped a rich vein of reader interest with his racy and sometimes graphic tales of affluent, ambitious, powerful black men - athletes, businessmen, lawyers and the like - who nonetheless struggled with their attraction to both men and women. His books married the superficial glamour of jet-setting potboilers with an emotional candor that shed light on a segment of society that had received little attention:

but secretly have sex with men." Harris, who was openly gay but who lived for many years in denial or shame or both over that fact, was able to draw on his own experiences to make credible the emotional conflicts of his characters, and his readers, many of them women, were drawn to his books because they addressed issues that were often surreptitiously pertinent to their own lives. E. Lynn Harris was the author of eleven novels, including Invisible Life and A Love of My Own, and a memoir, What Become of the Brokenhearted. He placed ten consecutive books on the New York Times bestseller list. There are over four million copies of his books in print.

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GLBT Christians from around the Commonwealth of Kentucky are invited to join a recently formed group that is part of the popular Facebook website (www.facebook.com). For more information about the group write to Anthony at aransom01@roadrunner. com. He will be glad to provide a link that will take you directly to the group’s Facebook page. Know of other GLBT-focused groups with Facebook pages? Let THE LETTER know so we can share the information with our community. Information regarding GLBT-focused Facebook groups should be sent to [email protected]. AUGUST 2009

RegionalCalendar sponsored by Mark England Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-profit community organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and professionals currently advertising in THE LETTER. Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol: [email protected]. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your message! 3rd Sundays 3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. For more information call (502) 3290229 or write [email protected]. Confidentiality respected. Every Monday 7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free. For movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT Calendar page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com. Every Monday 7:00pm. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus practice at Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church, 2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write DtnGayMensChorus@aol. com. Every Tuesday 2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group at The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati. (513) 241-1411. 6:00 - 8:00pm. Louisville Fairness Campaign Volunteer Meet-Up at 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For more information call Kyle (502) 893-0788 or write fairness@ fairness.org. 6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae Kwon Do training for GLBT community. Beginners & experienced welcome. For location write: [email protected]. 7:30pm. Women’s Tuesday Night Coming Out Group at Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati. (513) 535-2517. Every Thursday 6:30pm. Support group for all persons coping with all sorts of struggles. City of Refuge Worship Center, 1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 100, Louisville. Handicap accessible from back of building. 1st & 3rd Thursdays 7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432 Highland Avenue.

SAVE THE DATE: Sunday, September 6, 2009; Carla Wallace’s Lawn Party, a Fairness Campaign fund raiser. Details: www.fairness.org.

Mark England

Thursdays: August 13, 20 & 27 7:30pm. Dave VanderPol facilitates a Single Gay Men's Book Study. Featured book:Finding The Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch. Location in Louisville’s Clifton/Crescent Hill neighborhood. Registration: $5.00, payable through PayPal. For group guidelines, exact location and other information write: [email protected]. Saturdays: August 15 & September 19 8:00pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender support group in Louisville. For location leave a message: (502) 894-1048. For general information about the group visit www.tg-sienna.org. Wednesdays: August 19 & September 16 6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confidential discussion group. For more information, including the meeting location, write: [email protected]. August 21 - 23 Wrangler Round ‘Up Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. August 28 - 30 Military Maneuvers Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. Wednesdays: September 2 & October 7 7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group, Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850. September 4 - 7 Labor Day Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, TN. For more information visit www.timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. Tuesdays: September 8 & October 13 7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667 Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more information call (937) 640-3333. Tuesdays: September 8 & October 13 7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road. For more information call (513) 513-721-7900.

www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com

Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods AUGUST 2009

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INCLUSIVE FAITH COMMUNITIES Central Presbyterian Church

Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love 4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville) (502) 587-6935 Church School: 9:30am Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided) Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert www.CentralChurchKY.org

Church of the Advent (Episcopal)

No matter who you are, or where you are on your spiritual journey, you are welcome at Advent. 901 Baxter Avenue, Louisville (40204) (Intersection of Cherokee, Baxter and Broadway) Sundays: 8:00am & 10:30am Thursday Contemplative Prayer: 7:00pm www.advent.episcopalky.org (502) 451-6066

City of Refuge Worship Center

Come Worship Freely Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ 1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 101, Louisville (40217) (502) 762-8986 / (502) 495-2603 Rev. Randy Meadows, Pastor Sunday Bible Study: 9::30am Sunday Worship: 11:00am & 7:00pm Wednesday Worship: 7:00pm www.cityofrefugewc.org.

First Unitarian Church

Where Reason & Religion Meet 4th & York Streets, Louisville (502) 585-5110 Sunday Celebration of Life: 10:55am Wednesday Chalice Night: 5:30pm www.firstulou.org

Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville A Christian Church Where ALL People Are Welcome at the Table 1432 Highland Avenue, Louisville (502) 587-6225 Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm www.mcclouisville.org

Progressive Pathways Fellowship

What Path Calls You? Mellwood Arts & Entertainment Center / #208 1/2 1860 Mellwood Avenue, Louisville (40206) Sunday Worship & Education: 5:30pm Wednesday Book Chat: 6:15pm www.progressivepathways.org

Inclusive Faith Communities listings are welcome from congregations throughout the six state region served by THE LETTER. Pre-paid listings cost $80.00 for six months or $140.00 for one year. For more information write [email protected]. The Letter

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Christian Musician Seeking Relationship

I

am a 27 year old Christian who is gay. I’m seeking friends, a date, and/or someone looking for a mature relationship. I am not interested in hookups or one night flings, but seek the one whose interest lies in meeting a new friend, carrying good conversation, and/or being in a mature long term relationship. I graduated with a B.A. in Music and a minor in communication at the University of Louisville. I love to sing, compose, record, play keyboards, guitars and hang out with friends. Music is my life! I am currently working on my masters in choral education at Morehead State University. I am goal oriented, and my friends tell me that I am a outgoing and sociable person. I do recording studio work, as well as sequence music beds for commercial, theater, and production clients. I am a contemporary worship director for two churches in Louisville. Sometimes I love to get away and

be with nature. I enjoy exploring paths in parks and walking through the mountains. I also enjoy sitting on the beach late at nigh and look up to the starry sky being thankful for such a beautiful world we live in. As a Christian who is gay, I am saddened that so many same-sex oriented people are skewed away from church activities, since not all churches are judgmental. I believe in God and love people for who they are. To respond to this ad write [email protected].

Treatment of Lesbian Couple at Fundraiser Deemed “Insulting” & “Illegal” Lambda Legal has delivered a stern warning to Lions Club International charging that the treatment a lesbian couple received at a club-sponsored Oregon catfish derby violates state anti-discrimination laws. On May 22,Angela and Tina CorriereGooch attended a Huntington, Oregon catfish derby with their family. As the group approached the registration area that evening, a club representative explained that the event pricing included a discount for couples and added, "but none of this boy-boy, girl-girl couples crap." When another man in the room suggested that Angela and Tina should be given the discount if they could document their relationship status, the club representative stated that this is how the club has "always done it," and that the club had no intention of changing its policy. Adding insult to injury, the Corriere-Gooches’ young nieces and their boyfriends were given the "couples" discount, while Angela and Tina both were charged the full admission price. "It’s insulting and degrading that the club treated us like strangers,

instead of recognizing our committed relationship," said Tina CorriereGooch. "It’s not just insulting; it’s illegal," said Tara Borelli, the Lambda Legal staff attorney who drafted the letter. "Oregon’s public accommodations anti-discrimination law expressly prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and sex, and Angela and Tina were denied equal accommodations on both of those grounds. The Lions Club needs to make sure its clubs are aware of states’ antidiscrimination laws, and in fact, follow the club’s own guidelines which include, in its own words, 'fostering a spirit of understanding among people and taking an active interest in the social and moral welfare of the whole community.'" The Corriere-Gooches are requesting that all Oregon Lions clubs receive notice of their anti-discrimination obligations under Oregon law, a meaningful plan to ensure that clear notice is provided specifically to Huntington, Oregon Lions Club members, and a written apology.

Gay Basketball Team Seeks New Players

Safety Suggestions Make no mistake: Hate Crimes still happen – even in our region! The Discrimination Response Team at  Louisville's Fairness Campaign offers the following safety suggestions appropriate for any time you head out to area bars: Stay Alert—Awareness is your best self-defense. Watch Your Drink -- Make sure you know the person who is buying your drink, or buy your own. Watch your drink if you lay it down. Remember that drugs can be easily slipped into your glass!

The Indiana Spartans, an Indianapolis-based gay basketball team is looking for new players. This established team is seeking for men who range in height from 5'9" to 6'7" and are available to play in local and out-of-town games. The team travels to several major cities, including Chicago, Memphis, and San Diego. For more information visit the team's website: indianaspartans.webs.com, or write to [email protected] or [email protected].

Trust Your Instincts—If you think something is wrong, believe your feelings and remove yourself from the situation. Project Confidence—While out walking, move like you know where you're going and keep your head up and look around. Carry A Whistle— Carry it on your person where it is easily accessible, like a jacket pocket or on your key chain. When you need help, blow the whistle. If you hear a whistle and see someone is in trouble, call 911 immediately. Remember to report all hate crimes! To give a confidential report about hate crimes in the metro Louisville area write: fairness@ fairness.org.

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COMMUNITY PHOTO GALLERY Several dozen supporters of GLBT equality were in attendance at Fairness Over Louisville, a fundraiser for the Fairness Campaign. The cocktail party took place on Saturday, July 18 at the top of the Hyatt Regency Hotel. [Pictures provided by Fairness Campaign.]

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Tennessee & Ohio Colleges Make Unique Top 10 List by Joey Leslie, Out & About Newspaper The popular queer website Gay.com has named the Top 10 Gay-Friendly College Football Schools and one Tennessee University made the list, along with one located in Ohio. Middle Tennessee State University (MTSU) in Murfreesboro was ranked the number nine most gay-friendly campus in the country on football game day based on the school's openness to give gays the "opportunity to ‘branch out’ and enjoy the electric football scenery." "This school makes the list because of its progressive nature trapped by the surroundings of rural Tennessee," the website states. "There is no secret that gays entrench the campus of Middle Tennessee State. The school’s small fan base, along with its relative close location to Nashville makes this a prime destination for any fan wanting to see a traditional college football game without the crowd mayhem." Brandon Thomas, vice president of MTSU's gay-straight alliance, MT Lambda Association, said he was somewhat surprised that his school

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made the list. "I wouldn’t say MTSU is 'entrenched' with gay people as the article suggests, but I would say that MTSU students as a whole are more progressive when it comes to issues dealing with equality and could care less about who you are attracted to," Thomas said. "The fact that the school was founded in 1911, during the progressive era seems to stick with the school almost a hundred years later. There is a gay-friendly atmosphere on campus so I could only imagine that any event that is an extension of MTSU would also have a gay-friendly atmosphere." Thomas said he has seen same-sex couples holding hands as they walk the MTSU campus and has yet to have any "major problems" on campus himself. "Sure, MT Lambda has had a few words and glares thrown at us when we tabled for marriage equality, but those people are few and far between on campus," Thomas said. Likely boosting MTSU up gay.com's list, the article references a 2006 event

that made headlines when two male fans kissed in an opening shot of a televised ESPN broadcast.

The list includes five schools from the Pacific-10 conference, two schools from the Big Ten and Sun Belt, and one university from the Atlantic Coast Conference including: 1) University of Southern California 2) University of California, Los Angeles 3) Ohio State University 4) Stanford University 5) University of California, Berkeley 6) University of Michigan 7) Duke University 8) University of Oregon 9) Middle Tennessee State 10) Florida International. [©2009 Out & About Newspaper All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with permission.]

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EX-GAY THERAPY HARM cont'd from pg 1 was much less likely to be true for people who started out only attracted to people of the same sex.” Based on this review, the task force recommended that mental health professionals avoid misrepresenting the efficacy of sexual orientation change efforts when providing assistance to people distressed about their own or others’ sexual orientation. APA appointed the six-member Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation in 2007 to review and update APA’s 1997 resolution, “Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation,” and to generate a report. APA was concerned about ongoing efforts to promote the notion that sexual orientation can be changed through psychotherapy or approaches that mischaracterize homosexuality as a mental disorder. The task force examined the peerreviewed journal articles in English from 1960 to 2007, which included 83 studies. Most of the studies were conducted before 1978, and only a few had been conducted in the last 10 years. The group also reviewed the See EX-GAY THERAPY HARM on page 11

AUGUST 2009

Inclusive Employment NonDiscrimination Act Introduced The Transgender Law Center has extended words of thanks to U.S. Senators Jeff Merkley (OR-D), Susan Collins (ME-R), Olympia Snowe (ME-R), and Edward M. Kennedy (MA-D) for introducing an inclusive Employment NonDiscrimination Act (ENDA), which would protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender employees from workplace discrimination. The bill, which enjoys bipartisan support in Congress, would add sexual orientation and gender identity to existing federal employment nondiscrimination laws. “ENDA is an important step in securing basic rights for all Americans, and will ensure that all people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, will be treated fairly in the workplace,” said Masen Davis, Executive Director of the Transgender Law Center. Currently, California and 11 other states have non-discrimination protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) workers. According to numerous surveys, large majorities of likely voters in the U.S. support federal employment nondiscrimination laws to protect LGBT people. Polling data from 2006 shows that voters are more likely to support a candidate who votes for LGBT anti-

discrimination laws than candidates who do not. Passage of ENDA is critical given the high rates of employment discrimination facing transgender employees. The Transgender Law Center’s 2008 CA Transgender Economic Health Survey found that almost 70% of working-age transgender Californians experienced discrimination in the workplace, including 30% who reported that they have been unemployed as a direct result of being transgender or gender non-conforming. The same survey found that transgender respondents were twice as likely to have a college degree as the average California. As a member of the steering committee of the United ENDA coalition, the Transgender Law Center has been working since 2007 to educate California policymakers about the economic needs of transgender people and the importance of federal employment protections. “We urge Congress to take speedy action to put this bill on the President’s desk,” said Davis. “Discrimination has no place in today’s workplace. All employees deserve to be judged on their merits and the skills they bring to the workforce – not by their sexual orientation or gender identity.”

EX-GAY THERAPY HARM cont'd from pg 10

recent literature on the psychology of sexual orientation. “Unfortunately, much of the research in the area of sexual orientation change contains serious design flaws,” Glassgold said. “Few studies could be considered methodologically sound and none systematically evaluated potential harms.” As to the issue of possible harm, the task force was unable to reach any conclusion regarding the efficacy or safety of any of the recent studies of SOCE: "There are no methodologically sound studies of recent SOCE that would enable the task force to make a definitive statement about whether or not recent SOCE is safe or harmful and for whom," according to the report. “Without such information, psychologists cannot predict the impact of these treatments and need to be very cautious, given that some qualitative research suggests AUGUST 2009

the potential for harm,” Glassgold said. “Practitioners can assist clients through therapies that do not attempt to change sexual orientation, but rather involve acceptance, support and identity exploration and development without imposing a specific identity outcome.” As part of its report, the task force identified that some clients seeking to change their sexual orientation may be in distress because of a conflict between their sexual orientation and religious beliefs. The task force recommended that licensed mental health care providers treating such clients help them “explore possible life paths that address the reality of their sexual orientation, reduce the stigma associated with homosexuality, respect the client’s religious beliefs, and consider possibilities for a religiously and spiritually meaningful and rewarding life.” www.theletteronline.com

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AUGUST 2009

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AUGUST 2009

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NEW COUNTRY ON BOARD CONCERT August 15 Olivia Henken

Olivia Henken AUGUST 2009

RADICAL SERENITY

Does Kentuckiana REALLY Need A GLBT Community Center? I have an acquaintance, a member of Louisville’s gay community, who has begged me for several years to do more to encourage the establishment of a GLBT community center to serve Kentuckiana. At the prodding of my acquaintance, I organized three community meetings several years ago that were designed to determine the level of interest for such a facility. Those meetings averaged 25 in attendance and resulted in the election of seven board members who were charged to raise money and do the paperwork and the legwork to make such a center a reality. After these folks were elected, they never again met. Why? I think they all finally figured out that none of them had the Carla Wallace financial resources to be a “sugar momma/daddy” for a community center. Without such a person on the board, it would have been too much work to raise the money to make the center a reality. Then again, the fellow who pushed me to host the community meetings never attended any of them (I know what he must have been thinking: “Let everyone else donate the money and do all the work to make this happen while I wait to reap the benefit of their efforts”). Halfhearted commitment to establishing a community center reminds me of the line from 12 Step literature that warns, “Half measures availed us nothing.” Indeed. But that isn’t all I have to tell you about my gay acquaintance who (supposedly) desperately wanted a community center established in his hometown. One of the first times he approached me on this subject, he stated that he did NOT want “any of those lesbians from the Fairness Campaign involved” because, “well you know how they are.” (I’ll bet Chris Hartman and Kyle Riggs will AUGUST 2009

be shocked to learn that they are “lesbians” – Oh wait, they weren’t working at the Fairness Campaign when my sexist acquaintance made his uncharitable remark). If you want a community center that doesn’t earnestly welcome ALL of the community to be part of it, it is not really a community center. It is actually nothing more than a “Clique Center.” According to the dictionary, a clique is nothing more than “a small exclusive group of friends or associates”. It takes a community to keep a “community center” running. Cliques don’t have enough resources to keep such a facility in business. Successful GLBT community centers around the United States are big on being inclusive. They have to be in order to keep their doors open. The last time I checked “exclusive” and “inclusive” were not compatible concepts. The thought of a true Community Center appeals to me. I have no interest in promoting a Clique Center for Kentuckiana. If some “sugar momma/daddy” has a wad of money they are just itching to drop on a truly worthy GLBT cause, I suggest they make a donation to the Kentucky Fairness Alliance as that organization works to make statewide Fairness protection in employment, public accommodations and housing the law for all of the Commonwealth (not just select major cities). Establishing Fairness for ALL Kentuckians is a higher priority for me than establishing a GLBT community center for Metro Louisville. Please note that we do not need a GLBT community center in Kentuckiana because of a lack of gayfriendly places to meet. Around 50 churches in the Metro Louisville area enthusiastically identify themselves

by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor

as being “welcoming and affirming” of GLBT persons. These churches gladly provide meeting space to GLBT community groups at a reasonable fee. Don’t want to meet in a facility owned by a religious community? You won’t find a more gay-friendly and affordable facility to host an event than the Mellwood Arts and Entertainment Center, which is home to the queer-friendly Progressive Pathways Fellowship and has been the site of several GLBT fund raisers over the past few years. Several hotels in the metro area also have a track record of renting meeting space to gay organizations. Sure, I would like to see the establishment of a GLBT community center in the Kentuckiana region, either in Louisville or across the river in nearby southeastern Indiana. But this isn’t a priority when neither Kentucky nor Indiana has statewide Fairness legislation in place. We also can’t honestly claim that we have a lack of affordable meeting facilities to host community events. So I must ask, “Why is establishing a community center a pressing need?” I don’t believe that it is. A

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“want”? Yes. But NOT a “need.” Identifying and meeting our “needs” as a community should be a higher priority than working to meet our “wants”. When the day comes that it makes sense to have another GLBT Community Center in Louisville (yes Louisville had a community center that, due to a lack of broadbased community support, stayed open for only a few years back in the 1980’s), then I’d like to see it named in honor of “one of those Fairness Campaign lesbians”. I’m speaking of none other than Carla Wallace! She has proven herself to be inclusive, visionary and courageous in her work on behalf of civil rights for the GLBT community and people of color. I could be a proud supporter of the Carla Wallace GLBT Community Center! These are my opinions. Your mileage may vary. Agree or disagree, Dave VanderPol would love to know your thoughts on a GLBT community center for Kentuckiana: [email protected].

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LIBERAL ON THE SAUCE

Michael Jackson & Gay Men

The line between genius and madness, as they say, is razor thin. Witness Beethoven, whose musical brilliance was in inverse proportion to his horrible temper and the abject squalor in which he chose to live. Or Michelangelo, who wore the same clothes for weeks on end. His friends allegedly had to steal them while he slept so they could get the stink out. And then there’s Goya, van Gogh, Polack, Warhol. The list goes on and on. Of course, not all geniuses are mad. Einstein and Mozart were pretty level-headed. Bill Gates seems boring. But in the art world it doesn’t hurt. Sometimes it seems as if art isn’t so much an expression of human emotions as it is the artist’s way of resolving personal psychological problems while the public looks on – and applauds. Michael Jackson could be the poster boy there. It seems clear that Jackson suffered tremendous emotional torture at the hands of his father in his early years. His father drove the Jackson 5 relentlessly, but he seems to have singled out Jackson, denying him a chance to play with other

by David Williams

kids, making fun of his large nose, and—who knows?—perhaps even ridiculing the darkness of his skin. So what happened when Jackson got older? He hung around kids, mutilated his nose, and changed his skin from black to white. To me, those are all signs Jackson was simply getting back at his father for the pain and ridicule he’d suffered. That brilliant career was fueled by deep dark psychological flames and a pharmacy full of painkillers. In the end, all those attempts at killing the pain succeeded, but at what a cost to world culture. That urge to put his father down may even be the reason why Jackson proclaimed himself “King of Pop.” Is there a double entendre there, a subtle dig? Telling his pop that he was in charge now? Let me pass by the pop psychology (pardon the pun) while I still can. I suspect, as time passed, most Americans resigned themselves to Jackson’s nose jobs, his skin change, his bizarre behavior, but they never really got past the suspicions of pedophilia that hounded him in his later years and essentially ruined his career. Their ambivalence towards

Jackson may never be entirely resolved. Personally, I don’t think Jackson was a pedophile. He certainly wasn’t gay. In actuality, he was probably sexually stunted, his development frozen at age 11. Unless some future biographer comes up with solid evidence, I see nothing sexual in his desire to hang around little boys. That’s because I think he looked at it as hanging around other little boys. Journalists didn’t take to calling him a man-boy for nothing. Despite all his fame and fortune, in the end all he really wanted to be was a little kid living without adult supervision in a Neverland of his own making: no fathers allowed. Pedophilia, of course, is a touchy subject for gay men. For decades now, the religious right has attempted to paint us as sexually crazed pedophiles seeking to turn decent, red-blooded American boys into pansies. Many elements of the religious right continue to use that imagery to raise money for their churches when polite suppers no longer suffice. That’s why Jackson’s cavorting with little boys has always been

a problem for us. While we’ve danced to his music for decades, that cloud of suspicion has strained our relationship with him. Since his death, there’s been a resurgence of interest in his music among gays as with most Americans, but for gay men he’ll always be problematic. Rest in peace, Michael. I’m glad you finally found it. As for the rest of us, we’ll have to continue wrestling with our own personal hurts until such time as we join you in whatever kind of Neverland awaits. David Williams is the founder of the Williams-Nichols Institute and the Kentucky Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives, which are housed at the University of Louisville’s Ekstrom Library.

HOOSIER VALUES

Volunteers Sought To Make Positive Change In Indiana Indiana Equality Action is searching for some very special volunteers. We’re looking for the right individuals to create a positive working relationship with Indiana’s legislators. If you can answer yes to three simple questions, you’re who we’re looking for: Interested in politics? Passionate about GLBT issues? Interested in building a working relationship with your legislator? If you can answer yes to these questions then IE Action wants YOU to become a Key Advocate for equality. The goal is to create positive working relationships with members of the Indiana General Assembly by means of constituent-lobbyists, called Key Advocates. The Key Advocates put a human face on the GLBT/ Allied community as they maintain contact with legislators to promote specific issues. 16

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Key Advocates are charged with developing a personal/professional relationship with a given legislator – if possible, outside of the context of lobbying for particular GLBT issues. Attending trainings to become knowledgeable about lobbying and the complexities of the issues pursued by IE Action is also a must. Making sure that you’re developing an understanding of the legislator's personal interests and political needs is crucial. You’ll need to meet with or communicate with the legislator to discuss those issues key to particular IE Action initiatives, acting as a conduit for equality. Now, this job does require a certain amount of schmoozing. You’d be responsible for actively seeking out opportunities to interact with the legislator in an informal setting, for example local social settings, political forums, official events, meetings with local constituents, etc.

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by Brandon Monson Your help in recruiting local GLBT persons or allies who can help lobby the legislator is most beneficial. All this culminates with participation in the annual State House Equality Day, bringing constituents to speak with the legislator in the State House, lobbying for legislation near and dear to your heart. If you think you have what it takes and are in one of the districts we are targeting, please contact me at [email protected] and be sure to type “Key Advocates” in the subject line of your message. Indiana Equality Action looks forward to another exciting legislative session next year and would love to have you onboard! Utah native Brandon Monson is the Communications Director for Indiana Equality, the Hoosier state’s premier profairness organization. AUGUST 2009

CLAMOUR UNDERBRIDGE

“Novotny? You're Not From Around Here, Are You?”

Hal Sparks

Actually. He is. It comes as a shock to no one but me that actor Hal Sparks, Queer as Folk's Michael Novotny, is from Franklin County. You know, Frankfort – the place with great big marble government buildings and unbridled homophobia with a dash of the establishment of religion for one and all. That's the one. Straight boy from small town Kentucky plays gay boy on TV for five seasons and is really good at it. Film at eleven. Well, actually not. You'll need to rent Queer as Folk from Wild and Wooly if you don't own it already. You’ll probably find it in reruns on Logo (check your local cable company for the channel number). My point is that you really should watch Queer as Folk, even though it's in reruns and all the actors have moved on to other projects. NOTE: This is not a paid commercial endorsement. You should watch QAF because it's very, very gay. Love it or hate it. Despise the characters or decide they're just like the lesbian womyn and gay men that you know at the bar or the gym, or sitting next to you on the couch. Wonder what it would be like to have a mom like Debbie Novotny or Jennifer Taylor? Would you really want to date Brian? Seriously? How about Ben? Queer as Folk gives you something to think about – and then there's all of the eye candy in each episode. Oh yes indeed there is eye candy! It's a gay guy-centric show so you AUGUST 2009

gals need to brace yourself for that. I have to admit I haven't kept up with The L Word, so I get there are different dynamics at work. All of the QAF men are pretty; they spend a lot of time at the bar and the gym. Money doesn't seem to be a problem for any of them and the mythical land of Liberty Avenue is lined with gay friendly and gay owned businesses and surrounded by a gay ghetto where you can swish down the sidewalk holding hands and know you're surrounded by other communityminded folks. That would be the queer community not the "live by our rules or go to hell" community that one keeps finding oneself unfortunately mired in here in Kentucky. Queer as Folk is not exactly set in the real world. So you only watch things set in “the real world?” Right. You might want to go back to your knitting. A n y w a y, before Queer as Folk what exactly did we have? Will and G r a c e ? Yeah. OK, except that I get around more than Will and I'm a big fat queen with smart mouth and short attention span. Big Gay Al from Southpark? Tara and Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Willow started out with Oz. Remember? Here’s a little history lesson. Queer as Folk hit the airwaves in the US in 2000. The good citizens of Kentucky wrote gay marriage out of our constitution in 2004. Voters in California wrote gay marriage out of their constitution in 2009. Do you seriously think the real world is ready for us and we don't need a

place like Liberty Avenue to at least think about? And that reminds me. Queer as Folk had a life before it debuted on Showtime. It’s actually a remake. Queer as Folk was originally created for the BBC and started out there with a two series (as in seasons) run. Their Liberty Avenue, Pittsburgh was Canal Street, Manchester. The names and some of the characters changed when they came across the Atlantic to the US but you can probably recognize everyone and the story if you set down and watch it. The up-tight and prim were shocked by Queer as Folk UK. I guess it was OK for Mr. Humphries to mince

across the screen in Are You Being Served?, but Stuart and Nathan (their Brian and Justin) lock lips and the howls of outrage drowned out the chimes of Big Ben. You can thank Russell Davies for all of this hoopla. Mr. Davies went on to re-invent Dr. Who after creating Queer as Folk. He also created Bob and Rose (a bisexual couple? It's difficult to say), and, one of my favorites, Torchwood. Does it matter that Russell Davies is openly gay and has a partner? You bet. The lead actor in Torchwood,

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by James W. Hensley John Barrowman, is also openly gay and had a civil union with his spouse in December 2006. It's illegal in Kentucky but we wish him well anyway. Barrowman's character, Captain Jack Harkness, is openly bisexual. It's complicated. You'll have to watch. Hal Sparks was in Louisville in February of 2009. He was the Valentine's Day headliner at the Improv Comedy Club in Fourth Street Live. I missed it. The good folks over at LEO, however, caught up with Hal and asked him how he was doing and what was going on in his life. He's in a band. He was going to skip out and visit his mom and sister while he was in town. He doesn't play Louisville very much but has been in Lexington quite a bit. I did some checking around to see what the other QAF alumni are up to. Gale Harold (Brian) is on Desperate Housewives now. Randy Harrison (Justin) and Scott Lowell (Ted) are doing theater. Peter Paige (Emmett) is directing. Life goes on. I was surprised to discover that Russell Davies left the BBC in April 2009 and moved to Hollywood. Who knows what he's cooking up. I'll get back to you on that. Have your say about this. Visit clamourunderbridge.typepad.com to leave a comment. Rev. James Hensley is co-pastor of Progressive Pathways Fellowship in Louisville. His views do not necessarily represtant those of his congregation. The Letter

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GAY & FEMINIST

Censorship Maryland Style

I originally wrote this column for an online magazine that I occasionally work with; but in an ironic twist, they deemed it inappropriate and chose to censor it. The University of Maryland – College Park, found itself in a bit of hot water recently when word got out that officials planned on screening the hardcore film, Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge, as part of a college-wide discussion on pornography. However, Maryland state senator, Andrew Harris (Republican - Baltimore County), was not going to stand for this and immediately introduced a bill to the Maryland Senate that would revoke state funding from any public college or university that sponsored the screening of a hardcore pornographic film. Since Harris’ threat, UMCP cancelled the screening, resulting in students organizing a new viewing of the film in defiance of Maryland’s conservative legislators; and a chance to speak out against censorship. Sadly, this tactic by state legislators to impose their ideals upon college students seems to be only the latest

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by Eric Jost

in a growing number of similar incidents. This past February, Georgia’s state legislators threatened to revoke funding from Georgia State University because of several sociology classes that dealt with sexuality, queer theory, and sex work. It seems that conservative statesman have found a new way to impose their ideals on the masses under the guise of eliminating “wasteful spending” and “protecting youth”. Regardless of what you feel about

pornography, you can’t help but be a little frightened at the prospect of a government strictly controlling what you can or cannot be exposed to at a college that you chose to enroll in and pay for. I’m surprised that university officials and Sen. Harris’ counterparts didn’t take count of the multitude of events and courses that might very well offer sanctuary to those on campus looking to escape the hedonistic Pirates II. I’m sure that at any given time UMCP sponsors several religious meetings of varying denominations, many of which probably preach that pornography is immoral. Certainly the student center has a Young Republicans club in addition to the Young Democrats. And let’s not forget that for every sex-positive feministlike Gayle Rubin and Patrick Califia, there are numerous sex-negative texts that I’m sure a few of UMPC’s women’s studies courses are built on. Many of the politicians hoping to ban porn from college campuses or eliminate the word “queer” from students’ vocabulary would do best to realize that they are heading down a

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very slippery slope that could hinder their own ability to indoctrinate young conservatives. After all, how long before a non-Christian legislator demands that all theology is removed from university curriculums on the basis of a separation of church and state? Just because Pirates II isn’t your bag doesn’t mean you have the right to make everybody watch The Greatest Story Ever Told. Eric Jost is a freelance writer living in Washington, DC. His work ranges from embarrassing firstperson narratives to commentaries on queer rights and sex positive culture; with work having appeared in SX (Sydney, Australia), Storyscape, $pread Magazine, and the anthology, Beyond Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on Gender and Politics. His weekly column, “Culture Voyeur,” appears online. You can check out more of his work at www.eric-jost.com.

AUGUST 2009

BEYOND THERAPY

Cultivating A Sense Of Humor

Psychological research has found that when people list the qualities they desire in a partner, a good sense of humor consistently shows up near the top. For some of us, a good sense of humor is more important than physical appearance or socioeconomic status. Why? Perhaps life is so hard that a humorless partner is too much to bear. When the road gets rough, it’s great to have a partner you can laugh with at all the absurdities along the way. University of Oregon psychologist Robert L. Weiss studies humor in relationships and has found that the more a person likes his/her partner’s sense of humor, the more satisfied he/she will be in the relationship. People who laugh together feel more positive toward each other and are more likely to give each other the benefit of the doubt, says author Polly Shulman in Psychology Today. Humor can defuse tense situations and change the mood from serious and heavy to lighter and more balanced. A good sense of humor is a tangible asset …but can it be cultivated? If you’re pretty humorless, are you doomed to be this way forever? Luckily, no. A sense of humor can be developed just like any other personality trait. This is great news, particularly for those of us who have been told, at some point or another, “You have no sense of humor” or asked, “Where’s your sense of humor?” A sense of humor can indeed be cultivated. “Why bother?” you may be asking yourself, especially if it takes a lot of work. Ironically, having a good sense of humor is serious business. Humor is no silly little thing; its

by Michael Kimmel

part of your life force, right up there with breathing and eating. Just for a moment, Imagine that you are (temporarily) having trouble breathing. It has been proven that telling a joke to hospital patients who suffer from asthma or respiratory problems helps them breathe more easily. Humor lowers panicky feelings that contribute to poor breathing. In fact, a well-developed sense of humor has been linked to improved all-around physical and mental health in study-after-study: it strengthens immune systems, lowers blood pressure, reduces stress on the organs and muscles, etc. On a personality level, many of us highly value a good sense of humor. We seek it out in others and are proud to claim it in ourselves. If someone has a great sense of humor, isn’t it likely that he/she is happy, confident and has a good perspective on life? Look at Ellen DeGeneres. The basic message in her humor is: we’re all alike, we find the same things funny and we’re all in this together. Take a few minutes and get in touch with your own sense of humor (or lack of it) and ask yourself: When was the last time you laughed? I mean REALLY laughed: a loud, spontaneous, big belly laugh? Make a list of things that you find

funny. It can be a person, a TV show, movie or comedian, a comic strip… it doesn’t matter, write down a few things that you find funny. Can you laugh at yourself? When was the last time you did something “weird” and were able to laugh at yourself? If it’s difficult for you to answer these questions, I urge you to spend some time cultivating your sense of humor. Not only is it good for your health, it also makes you more attractive. People who can laugh at themselves tell the world that they love themselves enough that they don’t have to pretend to be perfect… that it’s okay to fall on your ass now and then, grin sheepishly, get up and move on. Humor is innately anti-perfectionistic. Unlike perfectionists, people with a welldeveloped sense of humor know they’re all totally human, will inevitably screw up something important and appear vulnerable when they do. Humor is a form of kindness to yourself and everyone around you. Research shows that people with a well developed sense of humor live longer, much happier lives. They’re more pleasant to be around because they’re less demanding of others. They make better parents, bosses, friends and

partners. This may sound impossible for you perfectionists reading this. Perfectionists and other people who are hard on themselves won’t see the humor in their mistakes, instead, they berate themselves for not doing everything perfectly. But perfectionism is a learned characteristic and can be unlearned. Wherever you are in your life, you can improve your self of humor: it’s not a fixed quality. Start small: be willing to laugh at little things that you find funny. It can be something you do or something someone else does. Watch funny movies or videos. Ask people to tell you jokes and try telling a few jokes on your own. Like any skill, it takes practice. Don’t give up after one or two tries and say, “I can’t do it.” Persist and experiment. After all, it’s not brain surgery: have some fun with it! Talk about a diverse background, therapist Michael Kimmel earned a Master’s Degree in Developmental Psychology from Sarah Lawrence College while interning for Sesame Street in New York City. He currently resides in San Diego where he maintains a private psychotherapy practice and offer workshops for the Southern Californian GLBT community. Michael is currently editing his first book: Life Beyond Therapy that is expected to hit the bookstores sometime next year. You may reach Michael through his website: www.lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in five languages. Her first novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is [email protected]. AUGUST 2009

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PACKERS & POODLES

I Killed Michael Jackson

I’m not sure how many of you have ever taken a road trip with a ten-year-old, but the trick to survival is knowing something interesting that they don’t. Back in the old days, that was pretty easy. My parents always knew more than I did about everything. I mean there was no Internet, no “Information Highway” that drove right through our living room filling my head with more ideas, trivia facts and entertainment’s hottest new trends and people than they could ever imagine. But unfortunately for me and my wife and every other parent today, this is no longer the truth. I’m a CNN addict, and that is usually what is on in the house for noise’s sake and it takes all I can do to obtain what is going on in the world. My kid can be sitting in his room, playing a video game with his ipod on and still manage to ask me what Anderson Cooper meant by “blah blah blah.” So, you can imagine how excited I was on our eight hour drive to Alabama that I got to be his Anderson Cooper. Yep, he has a friend who had

one Michael Jackson song on his iPod, “Dirty Diana.” And my son asked me if I knew who Michael Jackson was? If he wants to talk old school pop I can handle that topic! So for eight hours I played him every Michael Jackson song from the Anthology album. We talked about his duet with Paul McCartney and how that friendship ended when Jackson purchased the Beatles catalog. I could give him lots of business information like this because I worked in publishing for years. I shared with him fond childhood memories of my own when the very first record album that my mother purchased for me was “Off The Wall.” I told him how it folded out and made a cool poster of Michael Jackson. And how I was obsessed with the song Billie Jean and would rewind my cassette over and over and listen to it as I rode my bike and listened to my walkman. Now granted all of these conversations spawned into “what is a record” and what does “rewind” mean, but for those eight hours I was a media genius, an entertainment scholar in the eyes of my son.

I rode that high all the way into the next day frolicking in the sun and reminding him how the lyrics to “Beat It” went as we swam in the pool on our vacation. We were even discussing how cool it was that Jackson had Slash play guitar on “Black Or White” as we floated about on our new floats, when from the shallow end of the pool came some shrill little voice with a taunting Youso-stupid-sing-songy tone saying, “Michael Jackson is dead.” True to my music industry roots I replied, “He’s about to revive his career with a 50 date comeback tour.” “No he ain’t, he’s dead!” My son continued, “He died this morning. His heart stopped.” I saw the look on my son’s face, so before I put the energy into grappling with this emotional breakdown I said, “Lets go to the room and turn on CNN…Anderson will tell us the truth.” Back at the room, “…YOU KILLED MICHAEL JACKSON!!” My son was in the throws of an emotional breakdown. His new found media

by Christy Ikner

crush was no longer for the world and for this very moment he was blaming me…what the hell?! “You told me everything you knew about him…made me love him… and now he’s dead. Don’t ever tell me about anybody else who is awesome!!” So just like that, my reign as an entertainer scholar in my son’s eyes came to a crashing halt. He truly believes that I killed Michael Jackson, so when he is getting on my nerves I just say, “Hey don’t make me tell you about The Jonas Brothers.” Although if I really had the power to remove entertainers from the earth…that wouldn’t be a bad place to start. Live and Love Equally! Christy lives in Nashville, TN where she works with her wife in the Real Estate and marketing industry. Additionally she oversees the daily marketing and sales of her gay apparel company, Packers & Poodles, LLC. In her spare time she is an active volunteer in the local chapter of the national organization, The Human Rights Campaign.

GAY LOVE COACH

Is He Right for Me?

When you’re dating someone, it’s very important to always be on alert to determine if you and he are compatible for the potential for a long-term relationship. This screening process should be done before and throughout the pre-commitment phase of the relationship. By gauging your goodness-of-fit early on in your dating relationship, you’ll either be laying the foundation for a bond of trust and intimacy or you’ll be disengaging from further connection before becoming too emotionally invested. It’s critical to discover this information as early on in your dating as possible to avoid becoming overly-attached and developing expectations that would likely lead to disappointment and grief. In determining your compatibility with a new guy you’re seeing, here are three categories of questions to consider to help with your decisionmaking process: 1. Does it logically make sense for me to be involved with this person? 20

The Letter

Does this man match my vision and personal requirements for a partner and a relationship? Do our value systems and philosophies of life mesh? Does he intellectually stimulate me? Are we able to communicate and dialogue well with each other? Am I able to see him and accept him for who he is with the knowledge that I can’t and shouldn’t change him to mold into my idealized image of a boyfriend? Is he as relationshipminded and ready as I am? Are we able to negotiate our differences in a proactive and productive fashion with solid problem-solving and anger management skills? Do we complement each other well? 2. Do we have a solid emotional connection? Do we have a strong friendship base? Do we have a special feeling of bonding and closeness that draws us together? Are we able to share our thoughts and feelings with each other without fear of judgment or rejection? Am I able to be vulnerable with him? Are we empathic toward

by Brian Rzepczynski, M.S.W.

each other and able to validate each other’s feelings? Are we emotionally available to each other? Do we strive to meet each other’s needs and devote time and energy to cultivating our relationship? Are we able to strike a balance between togetherness and independence without feeling threatened and find this juggling act to be a source of enrichment for our relationship? Do I like the man that I am when I’m around him? Do I have a sense of pride with this man whom I’m becoming involved? 3. Do we have a mutual feeling of chemistry with each other? Am I sexually and emotionally attracted to this man? Do we share a passionate sexual life with each other that is satisfying and erotically fulfilling? Can we be playful with each other and laugh? Do I think of him often and miss him when he’s not around? Do we positively feed off of each other with our personalities and experience a sense of vibrant energy whenever we’re together? An affirmative “YES” to all of

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these questions is definitely a good sign that you and your new guy are well on your way to being a great match! Any discrepancies that may exist will need to be evaluated against your personal requirements. Are any incompatibilities negotiable, or are they absolute deal-breakers? Be honest and stay true to yourself and your values! Settling will only lead to an ultimate loss of fulfillment, resentment, and sacrifice that will erode your quality of life. And don’t forget: just because someone you start seeing may not turn out to be good dating material after going through this assessment process, he may actually be a better candidate for a friend or business contact. Happy screening! ©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights reserved. To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, visit www. TheGayLoveCoach.com.

AUGUST 2009

DINING OUT

The Kentucky State Fair – I’m In It To Win It! Sometimes the most tasty and decadent of treats are not found in this city’s bakeries or prepared by the most revered pastry chefs. Cakes, pies, tarts and other baked items that are equally delicious and perhaps created by someone you know are on display this month at the Kentucky State Fair. Starting August 20 and running through August 30, this illustrious event showcases cooks, artisans, craftsmen, farmers and other skilled individuals from our state who wish to share his or her talents with us fairgoers. I have been lucky enough to participate in the Fair for the past 15 years and have been fortunate enough to win at least 1 ribbon in 14 of those 15 years. My area of expertise lies within the Culinary Department although I have recently branched out into Textiles with not too much success. For the past few years my daughters have also been entering the Junior Culinary category and garnering a few ribbons for themselves. It is a family affair, after all. Obviously some cooking ability is necessary to win, place or show. However, there are some valuable lessons to learn as you enjoy the Fair this year to enhance your chances of winning next year. Never enter a popular category as your probability of winning is sure to be shot down by the numerous ladies and gentlemen with generous Fair experience. Brownies, Chocolate Chip Cookies and Yeast Bread are all definite nono’s. You need to carefully review the different cases of food in the exhibition hall as well as be familiar with the particular baking categories to find those divisions with the fewest entries. My first year I entered meringue pies only to be disappointed to find that my lovely pies did not pass muster with the judges. My pies were lost in a display case of 30 or so similar sweets. When I competing the following year, I entered date nut bars and divinity candy and happily won two second place ribbons as well as a check for a whopping $8.00. I have continued to work my theory throughout the years and have won a AUGUST 2009

minimum of 1 ribbon a year for such varied items as vegetable quiche, artisan bread, all butter pound cake, Black Forest torte and others. My greatest success was my blue ribbon for barbequed chicken pizza. Yes, there is a pizza category and there are never too many entries. Once I hit that first place, the pizza category was struck from my Fair repertoire. You can’t do better than Number One! Another thing you might not know about the Fair entry process is that your food item(s) need to be delivered to the fairgrounds the weekend before the Fair actually opens. This allows the judges’ time

by Beth Ann Rubin

to review all the entries and make their decisions. You do not know if you have won anything in this department until you go to the Fair and find your entries in the many cases. And when you do find your food, remember that is has been sitting there for at least 4 days and the decaying process may have already started. Some of the cases are refrigerated but that does not deter the flies or the process of time from impacting the appearance of your food. It is always fun to go the Fair towards the end when some of the entries have so severely decomposed

Spiced Pumpkin Cheesecake Crust:

1 ½ cups pecans, toasted and cooled 3 tbsp brown sugar 3 tbsp melted better ¼ tsp ground cinnamon

Filling:

3 8-oz packages cream cheese, room temperature 1 ¼ cup sugar 1 tsp finely grated lemon peel 4 large eggs 1 15-oz can pure pumpkin ½ cup plain yogurt 2 tbsp flour 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp ground cinnamon ¾ tsp ground ginger ¼ tsp ground nutmeg ¼ tsp ground cloves Large pinch of salt

FOR CRUST: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9-inch spring form pan. Grind first 4 ingredients in processor until nut mixture sticks together. Press evenly onto bottom of pan. Bake crust until golden, about 15 minutes. Cool completely. FOR FILLING: Using mixer, beat cream cheese, sugar and lemon peel in large bowl until smooth. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then pumpkin, yogurt, flour, vanilla, spices and salt. Pour into pan. Place into oven. Bake cheesecake 1 hour 15 minutes or until browned on sides but not yet set in middle. Remove from oven onto baking rack and allow to sit until cooled. Remove sides of spring form pan and wrap in plastic. Allow to refrigerate overnight before serving.

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they have been removed from the cases. There is a reason why no one returns to claim their food entry after the Fair has ended! This year I am entering Chocolate Raspberry Petit Fours. I entered last year and won a 3rd place ribbon and am trying to improve upon that this year. I am also taking a stab at preserves with a drunken fig jam and caramel pear butter. Wish me luck! I am including my recipe for an award winning cheesecake which I entered in the “Your Favorite Cheesecake (other than plain)” category. Enjoy!!To Win It!

Beth Ann Rubin has been reviewing restaurants for THE LETTER for nearly four years. A Chicago native, Beth Ann and her family live just south of Louisville's Highlands neighborhood. A talented cook in her own right, over the years her baked goods have earned her numerous awards at the Kentucky State Fair.

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VIDEO REVIEWS

KENNETH C. PLOTNIK Attorney at Law

607 West Ormsby Avenue Louisville, Kentucky 40203

What Path Calls You?

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INFORM YOUR PARTNER StopTheSpreadOnline.org To stop the cycle of STD’s growing in our community, sexual partners need to be tested and if necessary treated.

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BY DAVE VANDERPOL

(502) 636-0361 Fax: (502) 634-0576

I Love You, Man

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Appreciates Your Support! • Patronize our wonderful advertisers. • Purchase a subscription for yourself or as a gift. • Suggest gay and gay-friendly business owners and professionals advertise in THE LETTER. • Purchase a Personal Ad or Classified Ad for yourself: advertising@theletteronline. com. • Make suggestions to help us do even more to serve our community: editor@ theletteronline.com.

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If you insist on only watching gay-centric films, then probably I Love You, Man is not for you. While it features a couple of gay characters, straights rule in this hilarious comedy about one man’s search for an intimate, but non-sexual (don’t laugh!) relationship with another male (a/k/a “bromance”). The movie begins Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) down on bended-knee proposing marriage to Zooey, the woman of his dreams. One problem: he has no close male friend to serve as his Best Man. So our poor buddy-deprived straight man goes out on a series of awkward “man-dates”, hoping to spark a close manon-man friendship. But it is a chance meeting (isn’t it always?) that leads to his finding the man-love he has been searching for. Sydney Fife (Jason Segel) and Peter immediately bond. The new bromance is not without complications, as it ultimately leads to tension between the otherwise happily engaged couple. Will Peter have to choose between Sydney and Zooey? I highly recommend this film because it is one of the funniest films I’ve seen in a long time and because I am fascinated with why straight men find it difficult to emotionally bond with other men –gay or straight. Dare we suggest the obstacle might be internalized homophobia? Ya’ think? According to this flick, straight guys can create as much needless drama as gay men! Released on August 11 (on both DVD and Blu-Ray), I Love You, Man is available at Wild & Woolly Video, 1021 Bardstown Road in Louisville. Oh and Sydney, thanks for the “creative suggestion” for a new use for condoms!

AUGUST 2009

Ms. Bluegrass Classic

Connection @ 6:30pm • $5 admission Winner gets $99 • First Runner-Up gets a sack of White Castles

ore call m r Fo tion, 4 rma 8-448 o f in 2-54 50 ail m e Or 681@ 7 jack oo.com e yah t fe n a st nte o c $10 S

p o n S o r e d

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