Self Help On Trial P2

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0n nrifl,l WEEK 3:

WEEK 4:

WINNING FRIENDS AND INFLUENCING PEOPLE

CHANGING ALL THE RULES

Of all the self-help books this month,

and Sherrie Schneider have told me

Dale Carnegie's creation is the least

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crazy. But like the booktitle, How

mistakes three years ago, and have

To Win Friends And Influence People,

continued to kill any chance at happiness. I showed interest in my boyfriend, returned his calls, let them last for longer than four minutes, and I paid for things.

suggests,

it has that element of

insanity, which seems to be a must

fol authors in the self-help market. This is the mac-daddy of all selfhelp books. It was written in 1936, and has sold more than 15 million copies. Its goal? To teach you how to manipulate people into doing what you want, while keeping them blissfully unaware. Brilliant. According to Carnegie, if I smile, remember names, be grateful and

tlatter shamelessly, people should submit to my every whim. Sure, it's a little nasty to play games with your friends just so they will do your dirty work, but I wanted to see whether his Jedi mind trick would

turn them into my genies. I started by telling my friend how wonderful she was. I used sentences that started with "I feel" before I tactfully suggested I wanted a coff'ee. When she asked for money, I looked deep into her eyes, said her name, and told her how talented and beautiful she was. She told me to cut the crap and cough up.

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Carnegie, if only you were still alive to show me how to create true magic and save some coin.

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It's week four and I'm feeling battered from my self-help journey. To make matters worse, Ellen Fein

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made some fatal relationship

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Wrong, wrong, wrong. The Complete Book Of Rules taught me women must play hard to get, because, biologically, men are the hunters. When wanting

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to attract a mate, do what wild animals do: act innocent and

don't say too much. Although written in 1998,

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these women seem unaware

their sisters burnt bras in the name of liberation.

"Don't leave the house without wearing make-up. Put lipstick on even when you go

jogging," they say. "Ifyou have a bad nose, get a nose

job."

I couldn't bring myself to try out what these ladies had suggested. I figured cosmetic surgery was too

painful and costly to test. If what they say is true, and the only way to get a man is by oppressing yourself,

I'd prefer to be a lonely spinster, with a real nose.

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