On Marriages And Family Values: V.i.g.menon

On Marriages And Family Values V.I.G.Menon

What is A Famil y ? • A fundamental soc ial group in soci ety consi sti ng of parents and thei r chil dren.

• One Can Look At Family consisting of Legally Married Couple with their Children and Relatives (Any of the Parents Of the Couple May also be included) • Exceptions: • Gay Marriages And Living Together Will Not Be Considered As Family For This Discussion.

Or ig in Of F amil y • Origin Of “Family” can be traced to Micro Organisams • Eg:In all the Micro Organisms the Offsprings stay Close.True in the case of Animals Species and Many Plants Such as Algae,Grasses etc

What are the Ad va ntages ? • In Animals,Staying Together Always Ensures Protection Of the Newborn • Makes Learning Easier • E.O.Wilson’s Famous Sociobiology Premises “that animals will act in ways that have proven to be evolutionarily successful over time, which can among other things result in the formation of complex social processes conducive to evolutionary fitness”.

Adva ntages Of Cl ust ering Or Gr ou p Li vi ng

• Reduces Uncertainty • Reduces Average Energy Consumption • Improves Learning • Improves Survival Chances • Shared Social Status –helpful if the family has a higher stature

Laye rs Of Hu man Su rviva l • Layer1:Physical-Essentially Food,Health,Exercise • Layer2.Mental :Intellectual and Emotional Freedom • Layer3.Social:Freedom in Meeting,Talking and Transacting With Fellow Beings • Layer4.Spritual:Concerns Freedom Of The Soul from

Ro le Of F amily • Ideally ,provides “Know how” for all these four Layers Of “Survival” • Fami ly Thus “Transmi ts” The Physi cal , Men tal (Intell ectual ), Soci al , Spi ri tua l “Endowments” to the Next Generat ion.

Ro le Of F amily In Th e Ec onomy Households

Enterprises

Govt

The Three Pillars Of A Nation’s Economy Are the Households, Enterprises and Government

The Most Important is Hoseholds or Families

Why Fami ly is the Most Important Uni t Of Nati onal Economy ?

• Familes/Households Send People to Governments (Almost all Members of the Governments are Members of a Family) • Families Send People To Enterprises (as Volunteers,Labour,Executives,Managers,E ntrepreneurs,Professors,Researchers & so on) • Family Members Pay Tax Of•course,there exceptions Elect where Great Men/women are brought up in Family are Members Governments

Orphanages .Although Great People May be born in families,they need not chose to head /run a family as grown ups

Why Family is the Most Important Unit Of National Economy ? • Members of Families as Children,Youth,Man,Woman are the “Mar ket ” for all forms of Enterprises • All “HR” Training is useless if Family Life Of A person is Troubled • All Government Policies result in waste if

Why Family is the Most Important Unit Of National Economy ? • If no family,no Government & No Business Similarly if Family Values across a Nation are flawed,then the Government is flawed,as well as the business

Why Family is the Most Important Unit Of National Economy ? • All the National,International Heroes of Today’s and Yesterday’s were born in Strong (may be poor,may be wealthy) families • Strength Of Families is an Indication of the Strength/future of an economy---after all families send people to

Why Family is Under Threat ? • Industrial Era Pulls People from Families in the name of Careers whereas agriculture era earlier sustained and rewarded families

Wh at Ar e t he Th reats? • For a Lower Income Family

Quarrels Between Members on Trivial issues Lack Of Skills for Earning Money Prompting Easy Crimes and Issues of Brideburning,Dowry harassment etc (especially in India)

Wh at Ar e t he •Th Forreats A M id ? dle I ncome Family

• 1.Entrapments of “Catching up with the Jones” lead to Quarrels inside • 2.Infidelity Problems • 3.Inappropriate Careers :Husband is an executive in Dubai,wife in US as a nurse. • 4Inappropriate Choice of Partners: Wife a successful film artist doing intimate scenes and (Jealous?) business man

Wh at Ar e t he Th reats ? • For a High Status

Fami ly

• 1)So many Social Gatherings,so many ocasions for “flings” and One Night Stands for the spouses • 2)Every Minor Instances Blown Out of Proportion by paparazzis and Media for their own benefits and the readers’ glee • 3)Easily Blackmailed

Wh at Ar e t he Th reats ? • Explo ita tio n Of Wo me n Maids To Models,Married women are Exploited Physically and Otherwise • Explo ita tio n B y W ome n Many Ambitious Women in many careers have become “flying whores” catering to those in power and positions and even causing trouble in the family of these married men-and (stupidly) they believe they are liberated !

Why Do People Ma rry ? • Goals Of Marr iage • Physical:T o have a “p la yma te ” • Me ntal:To share in spira tio ns,asp irations a nd emotio ns • Socia l: To ra ise Kid s and a lso fo r a “s ta tus” in s ocie ty • Spirit ual: All re lig io ns e mp hasize the i mportance of Ma rriages

Sco re Sheet For Al l Types Of Mar riag es Physical 4

Level 1

2 Spiritual

0

Mental

Level 2 Level 3 Level4

Social

Marriages Range From l level to Level 4 in their Concentration on Physical,Mental,Social,Spiritual Values

Sc ore Sh eet For an Ideal Marriage

Real Mar riages Have Varying Blen the P MSS needs

d The Le vels for

(S) (S)

(P)

(M)

Physical

Mental

Soc ial

Spiritu al

Marriage1

1

3

2

4

Marriage2

4

1

1

2

Marriage 3

1

4

3

2

Marriage 1Predominantly Focuses on Spirituality,Marriage2 on Physical Needs,Marriage3 OnMental Growth/Satisfaction

Sc ore Sh eet For an Ideal Marriage •

Re al Mar riages Have Var Levels

ying Bl end Of T he P MS S

Physical 4 2 Spiritual

0

Marriage1 Mental

Marriage2 Marriage 3

Social

Marriage 1Predominantly Focuses on Spirituality,Marriage2 on Physical Needs,Marriage3 OnMental Growth/Satisfaction,while all other needs are also met to lesser extent

Sc ore Sh eet For an Ideal Marriage • But Real Marria Levels

 

ges H av e Varying Blend O

(M )

(P )

f T he

(S ) (S )

Physica Menta l l Social Spiritual

Marriage1

1

3

2

4

Marriage2

4

1

1

2

Marriage 3

1

4

3

2

Marriage 1 will have highest stability,since it rests on the highest of human values and needs by sacrificing the rest

Sc ore Sh eet For Th re e Re al Ma rria ges (Ex ample ) • But Real Marria ges H av e Varying (M Blend O f T he Levels

 

(P )

)

(S ) (S )

Physica Menta l l Social Spiritual

Marriage1

1

3

2

4

Marriage2

4

1

1

2

Marriage 3

1

4

3

2

Marriage2 will of the least stability,since it rests on the lowest of human values ie predominantly physical and hence flesh or food oriented,which needs variety and continual reassurance,hence both the partners will seek newer pastures