A Wo rd F ro m Ou r Le ad er August Issues In the month of August we presented Keith “The Badger” Sawyer with his 25 years service watch – Well done! And keep up the good work. Now for the company view point which the editor says is the rubbish bit [I used more colourful language than that], but joking apart the issues of Health & Safety, Quality and Overall Production levels are what keeps us all in a job. Quality Most of the quality issues this month has been due to mechanical failure, for example, the dryer rail breakage and I would like to say a big thanks to D Fox, C Shields, K Sawyer and G Johnson for their efforts in repairing the fault quickly and safely. Production Levels The fault in the dryers cancelled out all the good figures we obtained in the first three weeks of the month, but in the end we just about made our target. Stock levels are steadily increasing and we are hovering around 13 million on the ground. This is where the production of rejects will only hinder us as these take up room on the yard. Health & Safety Again no accidents being reported so well done! I must impress on you though that all accidents should be reported on the day they occur and not a number of days later however it is better if we work safely and have no accidents at all if possible
Off Th e Reco rd Fro m Ou r Le ad er
I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and 1of5
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. Last week me and my wife were getting into bed. Well the passion starts to heat up, and eventually she says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “What?! What was that?!” So she says words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realising there was nothing going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I phoned Mick Brayford up and told him I was taking the day off as a holiday to spend a bit of time with my wife. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked round with her a while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her draw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?” I then said, “Honey! I just want you to Hold this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?” Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.
Todd y In his hey d ay. I was once walking home from the Central after a few pints and I was walking past Richard Warnes at the side of the road with the darts cup in my hand and I got a bit of lean on to the right. Now near there is a big slope and I just could not correct my lean and veered off down the slope and through the fence into someone’s allotment full of cabbages. I totally demolished the fence and I bent the cup handle, I also injured my rib cage where the handle dug in. I grabbed a few cabbages while I was down there and wobbled off home. When I got home I fell over the wooden coat stand in our hall and I mistook it for a burglar. I ended up in my inebriated state having a fight with it and the next morning when I got up there was bits of wood everywhere. So not only was the cup squashed I had a lot of explaining to do to my wife I tried to fix the bent cup with a toffee hammer but it wouldn’t straighten, in the end I had to bring it here to get it straightened in the vice.
Ste ve Is I n Th e G ar de n A gain Steve is in the garden. Steve likes gardens. Do you like gardens? Sharron has gone to bed with one of her 'heads', see the aspirin. This evening, Steve is in The Lady From Dixon Hall's garden. Steve sees lots of lovely colours. Blue, lilac, pink, and red. Steve's favourite colour is red, what's your favourite? Steve is wearing his long coat with big pockets in case it rains.
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See the clouds. Steve thinks that it will soon rain. See Steve taking some of The Lady From Dixon Hall's washing and putting in his big dry pockets Helpful Steve. See The Lady From Dixon Hall’ Husband. The Lady From Dixon Hall’ Husband is very angry - see the veins See Spot, The Lady From Dixon Hall’ Husband’s dog. Do you like dogs? Steve doesn't. Hear Spot bark. See Steve jump over the fence. Do you know how to hurdle? Steve does. Do you know who the 'Garforth Phantom' is? Neither does Sharron.
En ou gh Of All Thi s Non se nce – Mic k Bra y fo rd Talk s Seri ousl y Abo ut T he Kiln & Th e Qua rr y. On The Kiln In the last month the kiln has produced a good quality brick however the burners cannot correct the cut, the shape, the rustication or the setting. Just at the moment they are cleaning all the burners, a duty which has to be performed at least three times per year. Of course maintenance has to be done weekly, if it is not the quality of the burning deteriorates and the packs then start to “pull over” and cause many other problems. The scrubber has just been overhauled with new heads and part of the back wall renewed; it has also been tested for Fluorides. In The Quarry As you have most likely seen the clay which has been stocked on the South-East side of the factory is being taken to Stairfoot to help them with there future stockpiles and it will also free that part of the land up. We have also moved all of the cream clay over to the stockpile area and this will then free that part of the land up also. When Don Fox returns off his Holiday in Iraq he will put his flat bucket on and then clean up and level all this cleared land. We are then also going to remove all the remainder of the soil at the top of the quarry so that it is ready to start the new stock pile next year.
In ter vi ew Wi th Ke ith Saw yer Keith said he would allow me to interview him in the proviso that I referred to him as “Keith” and did not mention anywhere the name of a certain carnivorous mammal that is native to the British Isles and during the write up from this interview I think I have fully respected his wishes…. I started at Armitages in 1981 and I was situated at Robin Hood as a member of the A team along with Dennis Fox, China and Daryll the electrician one of my first jobs was fixing kiln cars at Howley Park. The first job I remember doing at Swillington was a spot of concreting on the drive but over the decade I used to pop up regularly from my base at Robin Hood to do a whole variety of odd jobs from time to time. I think it was much better under Armitages in the early days than it was under Marshalls, you felt a part of an easy going family and everyone worked more part of a team. You see Marshalls wasn’t very good they were just not interested in the morale of the workforce, they had just one interest and that was making money, well I suppose that is true of most companies in order to survive but with Marshalls they made it pretty damned obvious.
For the short length of time I have worked under Hansons things have definitely improved and at least you feel like you now know who is who, the atmosphere has become more like that which we enjoyed in the early days. I started at Swillington full time in 1991 and over the years I have worked with a whole variety of individuals, initially Mark Lodge who is now the night watchman was my labourer. I have also worked with Nick Hunter, Johno (who broke my arm I’ll tell you about that later) and John Ouseley but I cant really decide who was the best. The funniest memory I have was when Les Baldwin and Andy Fox both had a race from the setting machine to the fitters shop, it was so funny, they were both so big their mothers must have booked seaworld to have them babtised some 50 stone in total. In the end after both wobbling off Andy Fox won because he was just a bit Les’s junior but the devastation they both left in there wake had to be seen to be believed and the tremors were picked up by seismologists in Dewsbury.
Paul Wingfield Presenting Keith Sawyer with his gold watch on 10th August 2006 after Keith had been working here 25 years
Left To Right, Paul Wingfield, Michael Schofield, Keith Sawyer, Mick Lardner and Mick Brayford on Keiths 25 year long service presentation.
Under Marshalls you just felt like a number and nothing else. 3of5
I cannot really think of any more good memories that stand out and I was too young to ever remember Don Fox’s Ghost but my saddest memories were the three lots of redundancies that were imposed on us under Marshalls regime. A lot of them were people who I had worked with for many years and were good friends,
another of my worst memories was being promoted to the spare dehacker operator. I remember Mick Brayford and Steve Todd when they both had hair and Steve had ginger hair and weighed 10 stone before he disappeared forever into the office. Steve thinks he is my boss and he has definitely matured over the years like a well made cheese and I must admit that has a senior member of this establishment he is very fair with his subordinates. If I won the lottery tomorrow however much has I like it here I definitely would leave and you would never see me again. As we are discussing winning the lottery a wagon drives past with a load of turf on it… Yes that’s what I would do, if I won the lottery I would send my lawn away to be cut and I would also buy a yacht. I believe in a life after the final curtain we call death and I think we are all 30 years old in the afterlife, the temperature is a steady 78 degrees and it is always sunny and we do what we would do here if we won the lottery. I have a Spirit Guide called “Thorny Bush” who I talk with about such things on a night so I know quite a bit about the subject; he was a Native American Indian who died in 1648 on the American planes while out hunting buffalo. I don’t have a nickname and I would just like to say at this point that going forward I want to be known by everyone as “Keith” and not by anything else. It seems that when I was aged 17 and I was young and a bit silly I once dyed my hair white with like a brown streak and since that day everyone has refered to me as Arctonyx collaris which is the latin name for one of the UK’s largest predators. My favourite Pop Group was Spitting Image and my favourite song was there 1980s hit “The Chicken Song”, but I also like some of there 4of5
other hits as well such has “Teeth Lips Hair Botty” and “Santa Claus Is On The Dole”. I once had my arm down a drain trying to clean it out when I was working with Johno and Johno leaned over to reach for something out of reach behind me but he accidentally tripped and landed on me. I was screaming for mercy and I don’t know what the spectacle must of looked like but I broke my arm it was a bit difficult and embarrassing trying to explain how that one occurred, but we are both back good friends again.
Wo rk s St at ist ics Yard Stock, Production & Sales Week Com Produced Sold Stock 31/07/2006 467,480 383,472 12,482,812 07/08/2006 465,548 368,176 12,580,184 14/08/2006 462,720 381,204 12,661,700 21/08/2006 399,624 324,028 12,755,376 28/08/2006 337,864 170,776 12,931,984 04/09/2006 420,148 402,406 12,952,030 Top 15 Selling Bricks For August Last mth ▲ 3 █ 2 ▼ 1 █ 4 ▲ 8 ▲ 14 ☺ NE ▼ 7 ☺ NE ▲ 12 ☺ ☺ ▼ ▼ ☺
NE NE 6 9 NE
pos 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Name 73 City Multi Smooth 73 Class B Jewsons 73 Class B Hansons 65 City Multi Smooth 65 Cream Smooth 73 Victorian Smooth 65 Golden Brown 73 Farmhouse Brwn 65 Red Rustic 65 Farmhouse Brwn 65 Swaledale Dragfaced 73 Red Sandfaced 65 Ridings Rustic 73 Red Mix Smooth 73 Capital Smooth
Quantity 217728 170192 129024 93564 75400 67968 65540 60672 58760 57404 50980 48000 46104 41856 40704
Jo ke s "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the
new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you
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