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Planning Services Development Department, Leeds City Council, Leonardo Building 2 Rossington Street Leeds LS2 8HD Also with the new silica levels we are looking at demonstrating new portable Hoovers in the Clay Preparation and Extruder areas, this is to reduce the amount of dust being airborne through sweeping, please give this a fair chance. With this in mind some repairs have been done in the clay shed to the extraction system. Finally just a brief note that a Christmas Dinner has been booked for 6th December – All Welcome Well we are now progressing through November and the weather is still holding. Well what can we say about October? The first thing is well done to the S Todd and his team for achieving 76,000 above budget, all of which went as best generating good results for the works. This combined again with a sensible regime of spending by the M Brayford. Well done more of it please. Health & Safety The first Health & Safety team meeting took place and points that were discussed were an inspection of the works carried out by Ian Ball and Keith Sawyer – the points have been taken on board and you’ve probably seen little bits being altered. The most important thing to bear in mind is that we must work safe and look after each other, Quality The quality of the bricks during October has been excellent so well done – keep it up. Yard Stock We are now running at 13.9 million but in recent days we have had Jewsons round with Sales Personnel to try and develop new initiatives so we can see the sales teams are working hard. Projects The application has now gone in and I would ask you all to write into Leeds City Council to support the application. 1of6

I first started work here back in 1978 when I was fifteen, I used to work Saturday mornings cleaning kiln cars back then when Mr Ploughright was the manager. Both my dad and my Grandad worked here at Swillington, my dad was a bus driver who used to pick all the men up and he did a bit of work on the setter and he worked out occasionally on the Forklift trucks and my Grandad was security guard but both had finished long before I started. I started here full time in the summer of 1979 and was working in the Yard with Phil Watkins and Claude Steel, then in 1980 I moved on (or back) to kiln car cleaning for about a year. From 1981 until 1982 I had a year working on the de-hacker with Harry Low and his lad Paul Low before moving back into the yard on the

Forklifts working with Geoff Whitely, which I have done ever since. I learned a lot from Geoff Whitely, he was a good guy, I remember when he hit Jack Kenworthy’s wagon accidentally that was funny, Jack who has now retired was the grumpiest c*** going. Oh its changed so much over the years here, when it was Armitages we used to have real good crack with the lads, I just loved coming to work, everyday it was a joy to be here. We used to even have our own football team, then in 1987 Marshalls bought Armitage’s out and things just gradually got worse until in December 1992 there was loads of redundancies and the morale just left with the characters that left. I think my best memory while I have been working here was winning a tenner on the syndicate, oh no, don’t put that I am only joking, er getting Darren as my foreman no seriously when we had a football and cricket team and played against different factories such has Scottish & Newcastle Brewery, Accrington and Howley Park Brick Factories, Rocal etc.. I think my worst memory has to be ending up with our kid! [Steve Todd shouts from the back that his best memory was getting rid of him] No seriously I think when Geoff Whitely passed away since we had spent 24 years working together, oh yes that and you starting, you must be slowest dispatcher we have ever had, I can load the drivers up quicker than you can print the tickets. I remember Stevie Todd in the early days, yes, he was a lot thinner then and had long hair and I remember Darren Bell starting because I used to drive the bus back then and I used to pick him up in a morning at Rothwell, then afterwards when he moved near to the Omnibus. I think Darren has changed over the years in that he doesn’t tell quite has many lies as he used to but he is a good gaffer and so was my boss before him Eric Naylor. If I won the lottery, well I wouldn’t be coming back here much has I love it, I would throw my boots through the window and be off to somewhere warm like Spain where I would 2of6

spend my days playing Golf, of course I would send our Andy some cigs back. What sort of stupid question is that, life after death? I don’t know I probably still be driving round this yard on a Forklift in the sky with Geoff Whitely, hey there was a program on the telly the other night which said everything we see is a hologram constructed by our brains and nothing is real. It says the film “The Matrix” might be closer to the truth than we think, only without the cynical parts about machines controlling us, it was good. My nickname here before you started was “Wart” and that was started by a lad who worked here called Plug, I don’t know why they call it to me. Some of the lads have now started calling me “Pinky” and I think that might have been started by you. My favourite singer is Engelbert Humperdink from the 1960s, I love to curl up on the sofa with my cat on cold winters nights with a glass of cream sherry and playing his old hits such has “Release Me”, “The Last Waltz” and my favourite “There Goes My Everything” – pure bliss. Oh my hobbies, I like a bit of golf and like a bit of Motorcycling, I have a really quick YZF600R6 and the fastest I have got out of it was just over 160mph when I left Shaun standing. I was once married and now have two children. Next months interview will be with Andy Smith who says so far he has only been interviewed by the feds so it will be a first but if he keeps saying no comment I have to remind him he is not under caution!

Stock Sales & Production Week Com 02/10/2006 09/10/2006 16/10/2006 23/10/2006 30/10/2006

Produced 445,944 443,136 456,960 457,768 477,168

Sold 319,744 407,684 427,056 276,156 255,900

Stock 13,463,956 13,497,608 13,527,512 13,709,124 13,930,392

Best Selling T15 For October

Top 15 Selling Bricks For October Last mth pos Name Quantity █ 1 1 73 City Multi 154752 ▲ 3 2 73 Class B Jew 148224 NEW 3 65 Mixed Rej 102604 ▼ 2 4 73 Class B Han 97536 ▲ 12 5 65 Ryedale Drag 90324 ▲ 9 6 65 Cream Smooth 78648 ▼ 5 7 65 City Multi Smth 74580 ▼ 7 8 65 Golden Brown 69608 ▲ 13 9 65 Ridings Rustic 63280 ▲ 11 10 73 Farmhouse Brwn 61824 NEW 11 65 Manchester Red 52884 ▲ 15 12 73 Red Smooth 50688 ▼ 10 13 73 Golden Brown 44544 ▼ 11 14 65 Farmhouse Brwn 34352 ▼ 4 15 65 Red Rustic 30284

Below is an account by Mick Brayford written in his own words which possible explains his irrational fear of the gents toilets in the office. This incident occurred nearly four years ago and until today he has kept the matter to himself but finally he has decided to share the story with us all..

I had gone down the stairs into the toilet one morning to have a quick dump. The toilets were clean as Sue had cleaned them only yesterday, after flushing the toilet I strolled over and filled the basin next to the mirror. I felt dreadful! It was quarter to eight Wednesday morning back in 3of6

2002, neither here nor there, but I remember it was nearly Christmas thank god, I remember thinking could have a rest over Christmas. Suddenly. . . I heard a noise like tapping. . . ..tapping finger on porcelain. . I looked around the toilet and no-one was there. . .weird. I proceeded to fill the basin so I could have my daily bath and there it was again a tapping sound. I looked to the sound of the tapping this time and to my astonishment I saw a finger it was popping out of the plug hole of the wash basin, occasionally it tapped at the porcelain around the plug. At first I thought this is a good practical joke, where's Jeremy Beadle, I looked under the basin and all appeared normal. How can a finger be doing that I thought, I must be hallucinating, I blinked my eyes and still there was the finger, like it was waving to me. This cannot be real, how can a finger be there. . . Just A Finger by itself as plain as day! I just couldn’t believe it in the basin of the office toilets there was a finger busily poking out of the plug-hole and waving at me! It then proceeded to tap around the hole like a lost gesture. This cannot be happening I’m hallucinating too little sleep and too much stress that's what it was, but it was there as clear as day.

In a moment of blind panic, I left the basin near the mirror and shot out of there. I was met outside the toilets by the Steve Todd and he gave a quick run down of what was happening in the plant I forget the details, so in a zombie like wide eyed state ( strangely he didn’t ask me if I was alright ) I made my way up back into the office. Sue who was near the photocopier copying some sheets remarked to me as I sat down at my desk “you look rough ... late night?” “Er yes… er no a finger er….” I said mumbling my reply Sue then asked me looking a bit concerned if I was okay It was afternoon before I dared venture into the Office toilets again. . .Of course Michael you was imagining it - how can there be a finger in the wash basin in front of the mirror - where is the rest of this person? I sneaked round the corner into the toilets and to my relief all the basins were empty. I looked around as I more confidently entered and noticed the cubicle was engaged, then in all most a second later I heard the toilet flush. Darren Bell emerged, and rushed out quickly washed his hands in the haunted basin then dashed off like a whirlwind. I was just stood in the toilets with no reason for being there but he seemed almost oblivious to my presence probably assuming that I was waiting for the smell to 4of6

dissipate before entering the cubicle. I must have been stood there rooted to the spot for a good ten minutes before I dare stare at basin which looked completely normal, totally absent of any evidence of there ever been a finger, just the gently dripping tap which Darren hadn’t turned off fully in his urgency to get back to his busy schedule. Cautiously I walked over to the plug-hole of the basin and looked down. To my astonishment I heard a whoosh sound and was greeted by the friendly finger popping out of the hole again; I fell back in astonishment, I must be mad. I ran out of those toilets that day and to this day I do not like to go in there if I can at all help it, I certainly don’t linger in there as much as I used to. I really don’t know what it was I saw but I just want to ask anyone else out there if they have witnessed anything similar?

Prison Versus Work

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON...you get three meals a day. AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK...you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON...you get your own toilet. AT WORK...you have to share. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK...you cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON...there are wardens who are often sadistic. AT WORK...they are called managers. The Balloon Warden and The Honeymonster go to a dog show

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Today, Mr Lardner and Mr Todd are going to a dog show. Do you like dogs? Mr Lardner and Mr Todd do. But one of our drivers called “Stumpy” who comes regularily doesn’t like them anymore because he got bit by his The dog show is at the Church Hall. Mr Lardner says, 'Hurry up Toddy, or we'll be late!' See Mr Todd struggle to get into his tight leather trousers and pink frilly shirt. Can you roll your eyes? Mr Lardner can. Soon Mr Lardner and Mr Todd are ready to leave. See Mr Lardner strap Mr Todd into the car-seat, and put some saucepans in the back of the car. When they arrive, there are lots of people with their dogs in the Church hall. Mr Lardner is helping with the refreshments. See Mr Lardner put on a really big XXXXX apron. Mr Lardner says, 'While I'm helping with the food, I want you to be a good boy. Do you understand?' See Mr Todd nod his head. Mr Todd sees The Lady From Dixon Hall. 'Eh-up Jaba', says The Lady From Dixon Hall. The Lady From Dixon Hall is from Yorkshire - see the dark satanic mills. The Lady From Dixon Hall says 'Eeee, you're just the man I wanted to see', see Mr Todd look

nervous. 'Give me a hand to get some stuff in from the car and I'll buy you an Eccles cake', Eccles cakes are Mr Todd's favourite. See Mr Todd helping The Lady From Dixon Hall to lift some heavy boxes. Mr Todd says 'I haven't seen that little dog in your car before, is it yours?' The Lady From Dixon Hall says, 'Yes, she's a prize Schnauser, I was going to bring her in, but she's a bit nervous'. When all the boxes are out of the car, The Lady From Dixon Hall says, 'Right, I need these shifting to the back door of the Hall where I'm setting up my stand'. Mr Todd says 'What are you selling Miss Dixy. The Lady From Dixon Hall says 'I'm selling sparkly coats and fashion accessories for dogs, they're very popular'. When Mr Todd and The Lady From Dixon Hall have finished setting up the stall, the Verger takes some photographs for the Parish Magazine. Mr Todd likes having his photograph taken - see the cheesy stupid smile on his enormous humpty dumpty head. Then The Lady From Dixon Hall buys Mr Todd an Eccles cake, which Mr Todd quickly gobbles down. After Mr Todd has had a look at all the dogs and the sandwiches and tea are served it is soon time to go home. Mr Lardner and Mr Todd get back into the car. Mr Lardner says 'I nearly forgot to bring back my saucepans, did you have a nice time Mr Todd?' 'Yes', says Mr Todd The Lady From Dixon Hall gave me a treat after she showed me her Schnauser in the car park, then I did her a favour and took her doggy fashion round the back of the Village Hall and the Verger took some pictures for the Church newsletter. Do you know how to ruin a perfectly good saucepan? Mr Lardner does. See the dents. Poor Toddy.

(taken from my website at www.madmickstories.com)

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