Grandma Fern

September 15, 2009 Honoring Grandma Fern: I want to open by saying that I apologize for not being with you today. Missing this moment saddens me – please know that Jeannette and I wanted to be here - and that I write this in the spirit of my Grandma Fern finding eternal peace. To live 93 years is a remarkable accomplishment for one’s life. That my Grandma Fern was able to live such a long life gives me hope that I will be able to see and experience the things she was able to see and experience. Of course, the generational and historical events she experienced are incredibly impressive. The Great Depression, World War II, the sixties (in California no less), and the medical and technological revolution we are currently experiencing. She saw a lot through her quiet and composed eyes. But I feel she would tell us today that those events do not equal the time she had on this earth to experience knowing many of us and those who preceded her in death. My Grandma Fern was and will continue to be someone I aspire to be like. Humble, reserved, intellectual, caring and a deep sense of devotion to her family. I am taught through my Christian faith to look to Jesus and learn from his qualities. Qualities of faith, family and love. Fern, indeed, shows all of us that we can live a long and bountiful life - and that through our own individuality, and in her case, a quiet and reserved faith – we can seek God and all of his blessings. Fern was indeed blessed in many, many ways. She loved and she received love. She had a soul-mate in my Grandpa David. The stories of them eloping and creating a life together inspires me and my own devotion to my wife. I have always marveled at her devotion and enduring love for her beloved David. Some of you knew my Grandpa David, he was jokester and full of fun – yet he was also very conservative and intense. My Grandma Fern was reserved, methodical, and did all of the worrying. What a pair they made. You see, opposites do attract, yet if you share faith, family and love all other things become irrelevant. David and Fern show me that you can enjoy life and make it fun, but be practical and exercise good judgment when facing life’s curveballs.

Fern and David are a testament for enduring love. How amazing it must be today for Grandma and Grandpa to be holding hands in the kingdom of heaven - once again reunited and completed. Even more inspirational for me is that Grandma is again sharing her love with her beloved son, and my beloved father - Joe. I can tell all of you gathered here today that Joe loved his mother greatly, uniquely and sometimes awkwardly. More so, Joe loved his mother emphatically. There is a special love between a son and mother – and Joe deeply held his love for Fern throughout his life. Many of you knew my father as a witty, no-nonsense yet incredibly compassionate person. Much of my childhood was spent riding next to my father in his old Ford pickup assisting others in all sorts of projects or events. Grandma was always our priority when it came to these projects. Joe and I spent countless hours at my Nana’s (some of you knew her as Grandma Beaver) helping Grandma Fern deal with daily issues of life and her caring for both my Nana and Grandpa Ray. Joe and I also made time for Grandma on nearly a weekly basis. Joe would tell me regularly to call Grandma and to make sure she knew our schedule for the week in case she wanted to come visit. As I got older and could drive myself, Joe would suggest – or shall I say require – that I meet Grandma regularly to simply share a dinner. I think Grandma and I must have eaten 1,000 times at the Sizzler in Burbank. She would marvel at how much all you can eat shrimp I could eat. And, of course, when we parted for the evening she always said “I love you honey” and I always returned the favor with “I love you grandma.” My memories of Fern will be those of woman who loved me for who I was and what I might become. Fern was an introverted lady, yet she held a special enthusiasm for those things and events that she wanted to experience. She was not complicated – she did not require big vacations or world traveling. She only required seeing and experiencing things that gave her passion and interest. She would travel two to three times a week just to watch me play baseball, football, or soccer – wherever I might be playing. I can imagine her driving that old green Plymouth Duster through the La Tuna Canyon from Burbank to LaCrescenta - just to watch my ballgame of an hour or two. She rarely missed a game. And, when she was in the stands it gave me a sense of belonging to a bigger family that stood together and

loved one another. I will also remember the countless hours of Grandma simply sitting in my Dad’s little house with us - as we watched TV or tried to cook some sort of dinner. Grandma would visit and quietly “hang out.” She always had a book with her, and if she wasn’t interested in what we were doing she would quietly read. She didn’t care that Joe and I were watching a ball game or some violent movie – she only wanted to share time and space with us. And that sums up the grace of who Fern really was – she just wanted to share time and space with you. Grandma knew how to stop and smell the proverbial roses – her roses were found by just being close to us and knowing we were doing alright. Grandma had other sides to her that few people saw. She was incredibly intelligent. Her intellect and ability to communicate in a modern world that had long passed her by was nothing short of amazing. She knew her politics. She understood people. And, she knew her faith. All of these things she shared with me from one time to another. And, with all of these things, she held a very personal and intellectual viewpoint. She was not swayed by arguments or debate, she understood life through her own quiet, humble eyes – and she understood love through all of us, and through the God that gave her to us. I rejoice today. We should all rejoice today. My Grandma Fern has returned home to her beloved husband, beloved son, beloved mother and so many others – but most of all – Grandma has returned home to God. May our own individual faith be strengthened today by the quiet, modest, humble and loving faith Grandma Fern displayed to us. She exemplified those very basic tenants of faith, family and love. I ask that we consider our faith, as Christians, and that we seek in our lives what Fern proved through enduring 93 years. That all in life is not perfect – that she lost her soul mate and son, but to continued to honor God through her quiet and personal association with faith, family and love. That we come together today to honor Fern is indeed reverent. I offer my enduring love to my Grandma - a very special lady who leaves a legacy of a generational family who loves her. In closing, I asked each of my Children to help me find in their own words and feelings to tell me about a lady who connects us to each other. I asked them for their advice in knowing a person who will now live through our family’s oral history.

My son and Fern’s Great Grandson, Joseph Timothy Wolf (9 years old)– tells me that “Nana Fern lived through some tragic times, I mean she lost her husband and her son – both of whom we are named for. I wish I knew my Grandpa Joe and I hope she is with him now in heaven. I remember meeting her a few times and that she was quiet and that she watched me a lot.” My daughter and Fern’s Great Granddaughter, Ava Shaye Wolf (4 years old) tells me that she remembers meeting her Nana Fern and that she lived in a big room where Ava played on the floor. Ava says “I want Nana Fern to know that I love her and that I remember her smiling at me when I tried to tell her things.” I appreciate you giving me this time and opportunity to speak with you through this open letter. Grandma Fern deserves more than I could ever give her. I am comforted in knowing that she is reunited with her family and Lord. I hope that I honor her through my own family. I would like to close by offering a biblical passage and prayer that is special to my family. May God bless you with faith, family and love. Dr. David Fletcher Wolf Grandson to Fern Edna Wolf Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. Pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory on the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever Amen!