Forever Moonlight Chapter Four

book two ********** jacob

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

4. Exception

Pain, anger, frustration, misery, depression…I can make a whole list list of what I’m feeling. feeling. I’ve never felt this way before. Losing the one you love is probably the worst thing that could ever happen to you. I didn’t think it would hurt this bad. Even when I lost Bella multiple times to Edward, it didn’t hurt like this. Imprinting made this banishing thing even harder. But I had to make an exception if it meant keeping Renesmee safe- even from me. It’s been three months since the incident and none of them were pleasant. Month one: I was blocking everyone out by being completely silent. I didn’t speak to Billy, Quil, Embry, Sam- or Seth. If Billy offered me something, like food, I’d just nod or shake my head. Billy didn’t seem to be bothered by this, but the others did. When they tried talking to me, they would always say, “Just forget about her” or “Move on.”, so I’d just look or walk away. Then they began avoiding me for the rest of the month- except Seth. Also I didn’t sleep much. I always had disturbing dreams, dreams about the incident. At first, I was upset with Bella and Edward for betraying me. Then later on, of course, all I could think about was losing Renesmee. Month two: I improved a little. I starting talking- to myself. Actually, I talked to my conscience- out loud. For a while, Billy and the others suspected that I was becoming mentalexcept Seth. He had to hire a shrink to come to the house and I wasn’t too happy about it. Her name was Dr. Clary. Supposedly she was the best psychiatrist in Forks. Although, she was the best psychiatrist, she was also the only psychiatrist. On her first day, I was home alone and she watched me like a hawk. I remembered her clearly. She had fiery red hair that was in a bun and she wore a white suit and a pair of orange glasses. I hated her before I even met her. “Jacob, do whatever you usually do and pretend I’m not even here. I’m just a fly on the wall.” Dr. Clary had said, in a high pitched, cheery tone.

That just makes me want to get rid you even more. I hate flies, I thought darkly. I shrugged. “Whatever.” The rest of the day I watched T.V., did laundry, and mowed the lawn. The whole time I was watching T.V., she would stare at me, make a face and then scribble something down on her clipboard. She was really irritating. So I thought of cruel and evil ways to get rid of her. But I had to stick to something simple. “Hey, Doc. You hungry?” I asked, with a sly smile. She smiled back and nodded.

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

I went over to the kitchen and made two bowls of chili. Making sure she wasn’t looking, I poured half a bottle of hot sauce and dumped a handful of rotten, shredded cheese in her chili. I chuckled to myself. “Here you go.” I said, handing her the bowl. “Thank you, Jacob! You are such a sweet boy!” She said, still in her high, cheery tone. From the corner of my eye, I watched her slowly raise her spoonful of chili. She opened her mouth and stuck her spoon in her mouth.

Three, two, one. Her eyes widened and she spit the chili on the table. She screamed, running to the sink. I grinned. I heard her turn on the faucet and rinse her mouth out. When she came back to the table, I looked up innocently and blinked twice. Her hair was out of her bun and her eyes were wild. Her suit was splattered with red and was soaked at the neck. “What did you put in there?” She shouted. I shrugged. “Nothing.” I said, grinning. Her voice suddenly went icy. “Listen here, buddy. I know you did something. All of you teenagers think you’re so cool and cunning. Well, guess what? You’re not! You’re just a bunch of messed up kids. And I am sick of all of you stupid teenagers! I was going to quit my job yesterday, but then my boss assigned me to go here and help you out! Out of all the rebels and freaks I met, you’re the worst! You need help! You also need to grow up and get a life!” I leaned towards her and smirked. “Do you have one?” I whispered. She clutched the back of the chair and pulled it hard, letting it scratch on the wooden floor, screeching. As she sat down, she folded her arms and set them on the table. She glared at me and took deep breaths. She glanced at her watch. “I got one more hour with you. Don’t make this complicated.” I smiled and elbowed my bowl of hot soup on to her pants. She shrieked. “Let’s make that one minute.” She stood up, knocking the chair down. “That’s it! I’m out! You stupid, arrogant, little brat!” She marched out the room and reached for the door. When she opened the door, Seth was outside, pushing Billy into the house. “Hello. You must be the psychiatrist.” Billy greeted, holding out his hand.

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

“You.” She growled, pointing her finger at him. He dropped his hand. “Your child is ridiculous! I have no idea how you can live with that…thing!” She pointed at me. I shrugged. “Aren’t I just a little stinker?” I winked at her and smiled. She threw clipboard on the ground and stomped away. “Hmm…she did help me.” Billy glared at me and Seth raised his eyebrows at me. “I haven’t smiled or felt this good in long time.” After that day, I was grounded for a week. Month three: I didn’t feel any better. Only my behavior recovered- a little. I began eating again and I hung out with Seth once. Although, we didn’t do much. We ate at my house and walked to the beach- which wasn’t the best idea. When we were there, something brought back memories. Seth and I saw Quil at the beach- with Claire. They looked so happy together. They were laughing and smiling and playing. He had her in his arms and they spun around and around, then he started tickling her. She giggled. While Seth laughed, my stomach dropped and I had to run back home, leaving Seth behind. Suddenly, Seth started coming to my house every day. We’d stay in my room and most of the time we’d listen to music. We barely spoke to each other. The only thing we could talk about was sports, just to stay on the safe side- because a lot of other things reminded me of Renesmee. He’d come early in the morning and stay until after dinner, then I’d give him a ride home. Both of us knew he didn’t have to hang out with me. He just wanted to. And that’s what makes him a great friend. If I ever return to my regular self, I’m going to have to tell him that I appreciated having him around- but I’m pretty sure he knows already. It was the first week of June and it’s been nice outside every day. For the last three days, Seth has been trying to get me to go outside, but I never gave in. This morning, I woke up to the brightest light ever. It shot through my curtains and straight into my eyes. I sat up and stretched. I walked over to the curtains and shut them. After throwing myself on the bed, I quickly fell asleep. Then I had a dream, the dream that I had almost every night. It was the incident.

“Let’s play hide-and-seek!” Renesmee suggested. She was smiling, the most adorable smile I had ever seen. “Again?” I chuckled. Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

She nodded. “Mmm-hmm.” She chirped. “Alright, I’ll count. You go hide, but don’t go too far.” I warned her. She nodded again and skipped away. I counted to thirty. I already knew where she was, but I just played along. “Where is that little girl?” I said loudly. “Where could she be hiding?” “Jake, you found me!” Renesmee exclaimed. Something was wrong. I was nowhere near her. “Well, aren’t you going to come on out?” I ran as fast as I could to her. As I came closer, I saw a figure in the shadows in front of Renesmee. I saw it lunging towards her, but I was already in front of Renesmee. Then she shrieked- really loud. The wolf had jumped high in the air and landed just inches away from me. I recognized the color of the fur and the eyes. “Paul?” The wolf cocked his head to the side. He dashed into the forest and came out in human form. When he came out, he was grimacing. “So it’s true. You are hanging with the parasites now.” He spat, still grimacing. “What happened, Jake? You betrayed us. Now you’re one of them.” A muscle in my mouth twitched. Renesmee was behind me, holding on to my shorts. Then she leaned to the side, so she could see Paul. He glared at her. “No wonder you smell like leeches.” He raised an eyebrow. “It must be fun having it as a pet.” I pulled my eyebrows together. “Her name is Renesmee. And she is not my pet.” I growled. He cocked his head again. “What is she then? You’re little buddy?” “I imprinted on her.” I said, matter-of-factly. “On that? That repulsive, freakish, bloodsucking demon child?” Paul growled, eyeing Renesmee. She flinched at every word. Then she began whimpering and taking several steps back. I started shaking. No. Not now. Not with Renesmee here. Please, don’t. “I cannot believe this crap! First, you leave us for leeches and now you imprinted on one. Just wait until I tell Sam-” “Then what?” I challenged. Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

“Excuse me?” His eyebrows puckered. “You’re going to go tell on me and then what? What’s the jerk going to do next? Spread rumors?” I stared him down as he bared his teeth. From the corner of my eye, Renesmee was shaking with fear. I wanted to finish this and leave. “Paul, you’re not much of a threat anymore.” I said, narrowing my eyes. Paul shook for a second then exploded into a wolf again. Renesmee screamed. I shook even more and Renesmee knew it was coming. She ran to me, grabbing my arm and shouted, “Jacob! No! Don’t!” I had to keep her away from me. I tried pushing her back. I bit my lip as I heard a thump behind me. I thought I was pushed her lightly, but I ended up pushing her so hard that she flew about five inches back, screaming and fell on her back, hitting her head on the ground. I couldn’t turn around now. He could attack me from behind. I stood there, waiting for him to attack. Paul snarled, growled, and snapped at me. I stood my ground, then I heard Renesmee running up to me. And at the same time Paul was charging towards me. Renesmee reached me, seconds before Paul did and was shouting, “Jacob! Stop!” It all happened so fast. In the middle of phasing, I shoved Renesmee back again and threw myself at Paul. We rolled down the hill kicking and biting. He dug his claws and teeth into my sides and legs. I did the same, but I mostly aimed at his legs. I tried getting a hold of one of his legs, but he was too quick. Finally, he slowed down a notch and I clamped my jaw down on his hind leg. I lifted him up and tossed him against a tree. His eyes fluttered for a minute, then it closed. And before his eyes finally closed, he got into my head and said, “Be careful. They’re going to stab you in the back one day. Just like you did to us.” I shook my head and limped my way back up the hill. Every step was painful, which made the walk even longer. But I forced myself to pick up the pace. Renesmee was up there alone and she needed me. Unfortunately, it began raining. Ugh, great. I began slipping on the patches of mud. Suddenly, I heard distant voices. “R…Renesmee, what happened to you?” a voice said. Bella. Her voice was shaky. I began running, but that only caused me to slip even more. Then I heard Renesmee’s voice. “J....J...Jacob. Stop.” She whispered. She sounded terrified. She was crying too. This made me more nervous, I didn’t care about the mud anymore. I ran and ran until I reached top. When I finally had reached the top, I froze. Bella was holding Renesmee in her arm, cradling her. I walked up to them and then my stomach twisted. Renesmee had a bloody gash across her forehead. Did I do that?

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

When Renesmee saw me, she covered her face and shivered. “I won't let him or anyone hurt you ever again. I'm not even going to let him near you. Don't worry, I'm here.” Bella assured her. My heart sank and flopped right on to the floor. I had to explain to Bella. I nudged Bella’s back and whimpered. I tried phasing back but I was too distracted, I was focused on Renesmee. I wanted to say, “Bella, I’m sorry. It was an accident. But Paul came and tried to attack us. I had to protect her.” I sensed anger in Bella. Bella took off her jacket, wrapped it around Renesmee, and set her gently on the ground. Then she got up, her back still facing me. I began pushing my head against the back of her leg, but she wouldn’t budge. I was panicking, so I started barking at her, “Bella! Listen to me-” She swung at me and hit me in the jaw. I flew a few feet back, yelping. Bella glared at me with vicious eyes. I slowly got up and stared at Bella in astonishment. “I trusted you! Edward trusted you!” Bella shouted at me. She took a step forward. “Bella, you have to understand that it wasn’t my fault. Just give me a chance to explain.” I cried. But it only came out as a low grumble. “How could you do this to us? How could you do this,” She showed me her palm- it was covered in blood, “to her?” I wanted to die right now. I ran into the darkness of the forest behind me. I phased back and pulled on my shorts. The corner of my jaw was bruised and was bleeding. I wiped off the blood and walked towards Bella. “Bells, I can explain-” “What the hell was all that stuff about never hurting Renesmee? Remember? No matter what happens? You lied to me.” She dropped to her knees and started bawling. I kneeled down next to Bella. “Bella, I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt her, you have to understand. I just…I had to do what I had to do.” I immediately regretted saying that last part. She glared at me, her eyes burning with fury. Before I knew it, she smacked me across the face. “Injure her? That’s what you had to do? You left her out in the cold! She was losing so much blood!” My eyes started to water, but I closed my eyes and looked away. Then I heard Edward’s voice. “Bella? Renesmee? Jacob? What happened?” I opened my mouth to say something, but Bella beat me to it. Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

She got up and whispered to Edward, “Can you get Renesmee for me?” Edward nodded. I heard her take a deep breath, as she turned around to face me. Behind her, I saw Edward pick up Renesmee and bury his face into the jacket. “Jacob Black.” I looked up, automatically. “You are never to see Renesmee ever again. You cannot talk to her, look at her, or even breathe in her direction.” I heard Renesmee shout, “Momma! No!” Bella didn’t pay attention to Renesmee, her eyes were locked on mine. Edward’s eyes were wide with fear. I stood up right away. “WHAT? No! You can’t do that! I imprinted on her! I’m not even sure if it’s possible to leave her.” Tell her, Edward. Tell her that it’s impossible, I told Edward by thought. He sighed and said inaudibly, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She narrowed her eyes at me and took another step closer. “Deal with it. I won’t risk my daughter’s life by letting her come in contact with you. You’ll learn to live without her.” She snapped. “No, I won’t allow it.” I snapped back. “Listen here, dog. It’s for her own good and I’m her mother, you will not be telling me what I can or cannot do.” She growled. “Want to bet?” I challenged, narrowing my eyes too. Quickly, she raised her above her head to smack me again, but Edward caught her by the wrist. “Bella. Don’t do this. It’s Jacob Black. He is your best friend.” “More like was.” Bella said. Then I saw Renesmee’s little head stick out of the jacket. “Momma, let me say ‘goodbye’ to Jacob.” Renesmee’s eyes began to water. This was it. I couldn’t believe it. Edward handed her to me and looked at me with apologetic eyes. “I love you, Jacob.” She kissed my nose and hugged my neck really tight. I smoothed her hair back and kissed her hair. Then she started crying. “Don’t. Please don’t. I promise I’ll come back for you.” I whispered, so quietly that Bella or Edward couldn’t hear. “Bye Nessie, I love you.” I kissed her cheek and gave her back to Edward.

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

Suddenly, my eyes flew open, as I gasped. I groaned and rolled out of bed. When I went into the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had heavy bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. My neck was sweaty and sticky and it had strands of hair stuck to it. I promise I’ll come back for you. Those words were swirling through my head. I began feeling dizzy and hot. I turned on the faucet and splashed the cold water onto my face. Suddenly, I heard Renesmee’s voice.

Jacob? “Renesmee?” I breathed. I looked from side to side and searched for her.

Where are you, Jacob, she said, sounding frightened. I realized that it was just my conscience, but for the first time, it was Renesmee’s voice. And her voice was the last thing I wanted to hear. “Go away.” I clutched the edge of the sink’s counter.

Why aren’t you here? I took deep breaths. “Please go.” I sighed. I let go of the sink and curled my hands up into fists.

You promised you’d come back for me, Jacob! “Leave me alone!” I threw my fists up and pounded them on the sink’s porcelain counter. I sank to the floor and sighed. I sat against the wall with my knees up. “Jacob! Jacob! What are you doing in there? Are you okay?” Billy shouted. I shuddered, as I bit my lip. “Answer me!” I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. “Uh…yeah, I’m fine.” “Open the door.” I slowly got up and turned the knob on the door. He looked up at me and widened his eyes. “What happened?” “Nothing.” I said, looking away. “Come with me.” He backed out of the narrow hallway, until he got to the end and headed towards the kitchen. I dropped my head and followed him into the kitchen. He was sitting near the kitchen table. He glared at me and said, “Sit.” Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

“Son, I understand that you’re depressed. But you can’t stay inside this house forever and mope around all the time.” I stared at him blankly. “What do you want me to do?” “Forget about her.” He said, point blank. “How? That’s…you don’t think- Ugh, you know what? Just leave me alone!” I barked. I stood up, but Billy was suddenly in my way. “Move.” I said, through my teeth. “No. Not until we’re done talking.” Billy said calmly. “We are done!” I threw my hands up. “Not until I say so.” He said, still sounding calm. He narrowed his eyes at me. I sighed and sat back down. “Jacob, you aren’t taking this forbidden thing very well. And it hurts to watch you be like this. I can’t let this behavior continue.” I raised an eyebrow. “First, I want you to release everything you’re thinking.” “What are you, Dr. Phil?” “Jacob.” He warned, still narrowing his eyes at me. Then his voice turned soft and soothing. “How do you feel when you think about her?” “Everything horrible.” I looked out the kitchen window. “Like?” Then I dropped my head. “Sad, disgusted, empty, angry…” I rested my elbow on the table and laid my head against my palm. “Explain to me why you feel this way.” “I’m sad because I can never see her again. I’m disgusted with myself for not fighting to stay with Renesmee. I feel empty without her. And I’m angry with myself for…making a promise and not keeping it.” I slowly lifted my head up. Billy reached over and wrapped an arm around me. “Jacob, I’m sorry but…this is messing you up. You need to get her out of your head. Understand?” For the first time, I started crying in front of Billy. “What? You don’t think I try?”

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso

“I know you don’t try, because deep inside, you still want to hold on to her. Believe me, I know what you’re going through. This is similar to how I felt when I lost your mother.” “It’s hard! It’s impossible. I can’t do this.” Then Billy grabbed my shoulders. When I met his gaze, I saw his eyes water. “You can, Jacob! I know you can! I believe in you.” He dropped his hands. “I hate seeing you like this. Please forget her.” “Okay, I will. But it’ll take awhile, though.” “I’ll try to be patient.” He chuckled. I smirked and got up. Before I turned around and headed for my room, I looked at him carefully. “Dad?” “Yes, Jacob?” “Thank you for putting up with me- for awhile.” I smiled. He smiled and nodded. “You’re welcome, Son.” I walked into my room and threw myself on the bed. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling.

So…you’re really going through with this, huh? At first I was shocked, then happy to know that my conscience had my voice now.

What do you mean? You’re going to forget about her right? Yeah, but I know I probably won’t. For Billy’s sake, just do it. He just wants to see you happy again. Like I said before, I’ll try.

Twilight Inspired Written By: Alyssa Nguyen+Lorena Jasso