Family As Social Institution: A Conflict Perspective

Assignment on

Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution

BY

IMRAN AHMAD SAJID Session: 2009 Submitted To:

Dr. Johar Ali Department of Sociology

DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL WORK UNIVERSITYOF PESHAWAR

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS All praises to ALLAH, the most Merciful, Kind, and Beneficent, and source of all Knowledge, Wisdom within and beyond our comprehension. all respects and possible tributes goes to our Holly Profit MUHAMMAD (Swal Allaho Alaihy Wasallam), who is forever guidance and knowledge for all human beings on this earth. Thanks to Dr. Johar Ali, the course instructor, who has contributed enthusiasm, support, sound advice, particularly his supportive attitude was always a source of motivation for me. He guided me in a polite and cooperative manner at every step. I am also in debt to all those writers who has written such informative and thought provoking books on such sociological issues.

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ABSTRACT In order to study anything, one must begin by making some assumptions about the nature of what is studied. For example, the ancient Greeks believed that the universe was run according to the whims of the gods. By contrast, all scientists assume that the universe is orderly, and operates in certain regular ways which we may be able to discover. Thus, Newton developed the laws of gravity after observing that apples always fall down, never up. A working set of assumptions is called a “perspective, an “approach,” or sometimes a “paradigm.” Sociological perspective is a lens through which sociologist views the society. For most of sociologist family begins as a need for performing certain essential asks such as reproduction, socialization, assignment of role and status etc, and contributing towards the survival of family and society as a whole While others look at family as a class society in miniature where one class (man) oppressing another class (woman).

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Table of Contents ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.................................................................................... ........i ABSTRACT................................................................................... ...........................ii Introduction ..........................................................................................................1 Perspectives in Sociology................................................................................... ....1 Structural Functional Perspective.......................................................................2 Conflict Perspective ...........................................................................................3 Symbolic Interactionist Perspective ...................................................................3 What is Marriage and what is Family?....................................................................4 What is Marriage?............................................................................... ................4 Emotional commitment:..................................................................................5 Legal commitment:........................................................................................ ..5 Public announcement:.....................................................................................5 Hope for permanence:.....................................................................................5 Legitimacy of children:....................................................................................6 What is family?...................................................................................................6 Structure of family............................................................................... ...............7 Conflict perspective on family...............................................................................7 Sources of conflict in family................................................................................8 Source of power in family ..................................................................................9 Woman as sexual property...............................................................................10 Other approach to family in conflict perspective..............................................10 Critique on Conflict perspective on Family........................................................11 Conclusion............................................................................... ............................12 Bibliography................................................................................................... ......13

Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, and call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. Jane Howard

Introduction Gul family lives in a four room house in Gul Bahar in a middle class housing estate in Peshawar. Nadim Gul is a successful merchant, his wife Sumera Gul is a typical housewife and says a home, they have been married for 23 years and have four children aged 10-20. Naseem provides food and fiber to the family, his wife takes care of house and house keeping activities. They can be called a normal family. Now for most of sociologist family-such as Gul family-begins as a need for performing certain essential asks such as reproduction, socialization, assignment of role and status etc, and contributing towards the survival of family and society as a whole1. While others look at Gul family as a class society in miniature where one class (man) oppressing another class (woman).2 This assignment is about the second view or perspective on the family. First we will present a brief of various sociological perspective then we will differentiate between family and marriage, though both are co-related. When we have completed this we will be talking about our subject matter-family in conflict perspective.

Perspectives in Sociology In order to study anything, one must begin by making some assumptions about the nature of what is studied. For example, the ancient Greeks believed that the universe was run according to the whims of the gods. By contrast, all scientists assume that the universe is orderly, and operates in certain regular ways which we may be able to discover. Thus, Newton developed the laws of gravity after observing that apples always fall down, never up. A working set of assumptions is called a “perspective, an “approach,” or sometimes a “paradigm.”3 Sociological perspective is a lens through which sociologist views the society. 1 2 3

Hughes. M, Kroehler. C. (2005). Sociology The Core. 7th Ed: McGraw-Hill Inc. p. 358 Zanden. V, Wilfrid. James. (1990). The Social Experience. McGraw Hill Inc. p. 373 Horton P.B., & Hunt C.L. (1984). Sociology. 6th ed: McGraw Hill book company. P. 15

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution The basic insight of sociology is that human behavior is shaped by the groups to which people belong and by the social interaction that take place within those groups. We are who we are and we behave the way we do because we happen to live in a particular society at a particular point in space and time. People tend to accept their social world unquestioningly, as something "natural." But the sociological perspective enables us to see society as a temporary social product, created by human beings and capable of being changed by them as well. The sociological perspective invites us to look at our familiar surroundings in a fresh way. It encourages us to take a new look at the world we have always taken for granted, to examine our social environment with the same curiosity that we might bring to an exotic foreign culture. Our world view is shaped by our personal experience and since people with different social experiences have different definitions of social reality, sociology helps us to appreciate viewpoints other than our own and to understand how these viewpoints came into being. Sociology also helps us understand ourselves better. Without the sociological perspective (which has been called the "sociological imagination"), people see the world through their limited experience of a small orbit of family, friends, co-workers. The sociological imagination allows us to stand apart mentally from our limited experience and see the link between private concerns and social issues. It permits us to trace the connection between the patterns and events of our own and the patterns and events of our society.4 The prominent perspectives in sociology are structural-functional perspective, conflict perspective, symbolic-interaction perspective, social exchange perspective and feminist perspective which originated from conflict perspective. It will be better to have a brief look on these perspectives.

Structural Functional Perspective Structural-functionalist or functionalist take a broad view of society and focus on macro aspect of social life. They view society as a set of elements or components that are related to one another in a more or less stable fashion through a period of time. They focus on the parts of society and identify the structural characteristics of each part much as biologists describe the principal features of the body’s organs. They then determine what the functions of each

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Robertson. (1981). Sociology. New York. Worth Publishers. Cf. Geneseo State university of New York. Retrieved 30, May 2008. From http://www.geneseo.edu/CMS/display.php?page=8431&dpt=sociology

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution part are.5 Social institutions are viewed as structural parts of society performing various essential tasks and meeting some needs of the society. Family is a structural component of the society and performs certain essential functions, contributing to the survival of society as a whole-the organic whole. Society, they hold, is organized due to the consensus on some core values.

Conflict Perspective Conflict perspective focuses their attention on society as a whole. Conflict theorists see society as in a continuous sate of conflict between groups and classes. He struggle for power and income is a continuous process but one in which many categories of people appear as opponents-classes, races, nationalities and even the sexes. Society is held together through the power of dominant groups or classes. The shared values, which functionalist see as glue for holding society together, do no realty form rue consensus; instead this is an artificial consensus in which the dominant groups or classes impose their values and rules upon rest of the people.6 The source of conflict in society, they hold, is the scarcity of the resources people require e.g. wealth, prestige and power are always in limited supply and their gain for on e individual and group are often associated with losses for others. 7

Symbolic Interactionist Perspective Symbolic interactionism is base on here core assumptions. First, we respond to things in our environment on the basis of heir meanings. Second, meanings are not inherent in things, but emerge from social interaction. Third, because we are continually interacting, shared cultural meanings are continually emerging and changing.8 The interactionist perspective is more concerned with the micro or small-scale aspects of social life. They concentrate their attention on interaction between individuals and groups. They noted that people interact mainly through symbols, which include signs, gesture, and most importantly, through written and spoken words. The word has no inherent meaning. It is simply a noise, but it becomes a word when people reach agreement that this noise carries a special meaning. Thus “yes,” “no,” “go,” and thousands of other sounds became symbols as meaning is attached to each. People do not respond to the world directly; they respond to meanings they impute to the things and happenings around them; a traffic light, a lineup a ticket window. 9 5

Hughes M., & Kroehler J. C. (2005) sociology the core. 7th Ed: McGraw Hill company. P: 19 6 Horton P.B., & Hunt C.L. (1987). Sociology. 6th ed: McGraw Hill book company. P. 17 7 Hughes M., & Kroehler J. C. (2005) op cit. P: 21 8 ibi 9 Horton P.B., & Hunt C.L. (1984). Opcit. P:15

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution This assignment is on conflict theory on family as a social institution. Conflict theorist stress that the society is composed of two conflicting groups and classes. They also view the family institution not as a functional part of the society but a class society in miniature where one group is oppressing the other group. Before this discussion on family we have to be familiar with what we call the family, what are its various forms and patterns and what is the difference between marriage and family.

What is Marriage and what is Family? Marriage and family are two different but correlated things.

What is Marriage? Marriage [is a] socially recognized and approved union between individuals, who commit to one another with the expectation of a stable and lasting intimate relationship. It begins with a ceremony known as a wedding, which formally unites the marriage partners. A marital relationship usually involves some kind of contract, either written or specified by tradition, which defines the partners’ rights and obligations to each other, to any children they may have, and to their relatives. In most contemporary industrialized societies, marriage is certified by the government.10 We may assume ha marriage is something we are all familiar with and that every one agrees on what marriage is. It is a legal relationship between spouses. Let’s define marriage; [Marriage is] a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners A marriage is a legally recognized union between a man and a woman in which he are united sexually; cooperate economically; and may give birth to, adopt or rear children. The union is assumed to be permanent (although in reality it may be dissolved b separation or divorce). 11 A more simple definition has been given by David Knox that Marriage is a social relationship in which two adults of the opposite sex make an emotional and legal commitment to live together.12

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Skolnick, Arlene. "Marriage." Microsoft® Encarta® 2009 [DVD]. Redmond, WA: Microsoft Corporation, 2008. 11 Strong B, etal. (1998). The Marriage and Family Experience. 7th Ed:. Wadsworth Publishing Company. P. 10 12 Knox. David. (1979)Exploring Marriage and the Family. Illinois. Scott Fo5resman and Company. P: 3

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution Most marriages involve public announcement and are undertaken with he hope of permanence. Subsequent children of the union are socially and legally recognized as legitimate. Some more aspects of marriage need exploration. Emotional commitment:

Most people say they want to be married because they are “in love.” It means marriage is a relationship sought by two people who want to share their lives together. Marriage is one way of helping to ensure that in future some one will be caring about you and you will be caring in return. It is a relationship which provides stable feelings of belongingness. So at its basis marriage is an emotional commitment to share time and space together. 13 Legal commitment:

Marriage also involves a legal contract. The “Nikah Nama” is a legal document and a proof of that contract. Both husband and wife sign his contract. His contract can be dissolved when they want to dissolve it. •

The typical obligations assumed by the wife are;

•

Live where the husband decides

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Perform household and domestic duties

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Have sexual relations with her husband

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Total responsibility for child care

In exchange he husband must provide food, clothing and shelter and many of the amenities of life to wife and children. 14 Public announcement:

The news of marriage is publicize before he event of marriage. It can be through various formal and informal means. Hope for permanence:

The marriage is the most binding commitment ever made by couples. It is a common saying that “don’t leave husband’s house until you are dead.” And “till death do us part.” Marriage represents a point after which here is no easy turning back.15 13

Knox. David. (1979)Exploring Marriage and the Family. Illinois. Scott Fo5resman and Company. P: 5 14 ibid 15 ibid

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution Legitimacy of children:

The children born to the couple are socially and legally approved as legitimate and are given due respect as compared to he invalid and illegitimate children born to the non-married.

What is family? What is the family? This question causes trouble not only for students on the family but for experts too. Many of us think family as a social unit consisting of married couple and their children; Mom, Pop, and Kids, living alone in a comfortable home. But this definition is too restrictive. Most sociologist view family as a social group whose members are related by ancestry, marriage, or adoption and live together, cooperate economically and care for young.16 When you ask people who they include as a family member? The list will include; [alphabetically] aunt, cousin, daughter, father, father in law, foster child,

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. Johann Schiller

foster parents, grand father, grand mother, great grand parents, half siblings, mother, mother in law, nephew, niece, sibling, son, step father, step mother, sep siblings, uncles. Most family members are related by descent, marriage, remarriage or adoption. The major reason that we have difficulty defining family is that we feel “real family” is the nuclear family or the traditional family. But the nuclear family is the merely an idea or model we have about families. The traditional family is the middle class nuclear family in which women’s primary roles are wife and mother and men’s husband and bread winner. Traditional family exist more in imagination than in reality. Because we believe that traditional family is he “real family”, we compare all other family forms against these models. A more contemporary definition is one or more adults related by blood, marriage, or affiliation who cooperate economically, who may share a common dwelling place and who may rear children.17 Family is a more or less durable association of husband and wife with or without children. 18 It is a group of two or more person who are related by blood, marriage or adoption19. 16

Hughes M., & Kroehler J. C. (2005) op cit. P: 330 Strong B, etal. (1998). The Marriage and Family Experience. 7th Ed:. Wadsworth Publishing Company. P. 14 18 Shahid S. M. (1998). Sociology An Introduction. Lahore. Publishers Emporium. P: 296 19 Knox. David. (1979). Opcit. P: 8 17

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution No matter how you define a family, basic characteristics of family is ha here is an intimate relationship among its members and that they have strong sense of belonging together.

Structure of family Like all other social institutions, family is a system of accepted norms and procedures for getting some important jobs done. The term family is used in so many ways. A family may be •

A group with common ancestors

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A kinship group unite by blood or marriage

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A married couple with or without children

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An unmarried couple with children

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One person with children.

A more sociological definition of family is; “a kinship grouping which provide for the rearing of children and for certain other human needs.”20 Our major concern is the conflict perspective on family institution. Family has so many dimensions-forms of family, types of family, functions, divorce and many others- but we will discuss our subject matter-the conflict perspective.

Conflict perspective on family Perspective or theory is a set of general principles or concepts used to explain data and o make predictions that may be empirically tested. Conflict theory in sociology has its roots in the work of Karl Marx. Where as functionalist end to believe hat “what is, is good,’ conflict theorist seem to believe that “what is, is wrong.” Conflict theory holds that life involves discord. Conflict theorist see society not as basically cooperative but as divided, with individuals and groups in conflict with each other. They try to identify the competing forces within society. 21 They view society as divided between conflicting groups with conflicting goals and interests. Family, in conflict perspective, is seen as a class society in miniature. Functionalist also view family as a society in miniature whose different members function various essential tasks contributing for the survival of the whole family. Husband is a bread winner and wife takes 20 21

Horton P.B., & Hunt C.L. (1987). Opcit. P:232 Strong B, etal. (1998). Opcit. P: 55

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution care of the children and performs domestic tasks. But to conflict theorist family is compose of conflicting classes-one class (men) oppressing the other class (women). Family is seen a social arrangement benefiting some people more than others. Fredrick Engel contented that marriage was he firs form of class antagonism in which the well being of one group derived from misery and oppression of another. The motivation for sexual pleasure was the economic exploitation of woman’s labour.22

Sources of conflict in family How can we analyze marriages and families in terms of conflict and power? Marriage and family relationships are base on love and affection, aren’t they? Conflict theorist would agree that love and affection are important elements in marriages and families. But they believe that conflict and power are also fundamental. Family relationships = love & affection + conflict and power Marriages and families are composed of individuals with different personalities, ideas, values, tastes, and goals. Each person is not always in harmony with every other person in the family. Imagine that you are living at home and want to do something your parents don’t want you to do, such as spend the week-end with a friend they don’t like. They forbid you to carry out your plan. “As long as you live in this house, you will have to do what we say.” You argue with them, but in the end you stay home. Why did your parents win the disagreement? They did so because they had greater power, according o conflict theorists. Conflict theorists do not believe that conflict is bad; instead, they think it is a natural part of family life. Families always have disagreements, from small ones, such as what do cook for dinner, to major ones, such as how to rear children. Families differ in the number of underlying conflicts of interest, the degree of underlying hostility, and the nature and extent of the expression of conflict. Conflict can take the form of competing goals, such as husband’s wanting to buy T.V. set and a wife’s wanting to pay off credit cards. Conflict can also occur because of different role expectations; and employed mother wants to divide housework fifty-fifty, but her husband insists that household chores are “women’s work.”23 22 23

Hughes. M, Kroehler. C. (2005). Sociology The Core. 7th Ed: McGraw-Hill Inc. p. 359 Strong B, etal. (1998). Opcit. Pp: 54-55

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution Family is a group of people with differences- in age, sex and personalities. Therefore the occurrence of conflict is quite natural.

Source of power in family When conflict occurs, who wins? Family members have different resources and amount of power. Four important sources of power are; •

Legitimacy

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Money

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Physical coercion and

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Love

When arguments arise in a family, a man may want his way “because I am the head of the house” or a parent “because I am your mother.” These appeals are based on legitimacy-that is, the belief that the person is entitled to prevail by right. This is one source of power in family. The second source of power is money. It is a powerful source in marriages and families. “As long as you live in this house….” is a directive based on the power of the purse. Because parents have greater economic power-man particularly; this economic power translates into marital power. Those family members who earn a greater sum of family earnings have greater power than those who earn less or do not earn at all. Physical coercion is another important source of power. “If you don’t do as I tell you, you will get a spanking” is one of the most common forms of coercion of children. But physical abuse of a spouse is also common. Finally, there is the power of love. Love can be used to coerce someone emotionally, as in “if you really loved me, you’d do what I ask.” Or love can be a freely given gift, as in the case of a person’s giving up something important, such as a plan, desire, or career, to enhance a relationship. Every one in family has power, although the power may be different and unequal. Adolescent children, for example, have few economic resources, so hey must depend on their parents.

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution This dependency gives the parents power. But adolescents also have power through the exercise of personal charm, ingratiating habits, temper tantrums, wheedling, and so on.24

Woman as sexual property Sociologist Randall Collins says that historically men have been the “sexual aggressors” and women the “sexual prizes for men.” Males are dominant due to their greater strength, size, and aggressiveness. Women have been victimized by smaller size and their vulnerability as child bearers. Over entire history, women have been taken as a sexual property, taken as booty in war, used by their fathers in economic bargaining, and considered the property of their husbands. According to Collins, men have ordered society so that women are their sexual property. They claim exclusive sexual rights to a woman much in the manner that they determine access to economic property like buildings and land and other elements of property. Marriage becomes a socially enforced contract of sexual property. A woman’s virginity is was the property of her father and her sexuality the property of her husband. Now that women’s bargaining position has improved due to economic and political changes in recent years. When they are no longer dependent on and under control of their fathers; they became potentially free to negotiate their own sexual relationships. But women found that within the free marriage market they had to trade their sexuality for the economic and status resources of men. As men have much greater economic resources and status in the society. Now for women to get these resources and maximize her bargaining power, she has to appear both as sexually alluring and as inaccessible as possible. She has to hold her sexuality in reserve as a sort of grand prize that she exchanges for male wealth and status. Under such an arrangement, femininity and female virginity came to be idealized, and women were placed on a pedestal, so that an element of sexual repression was built into courtship ties, freeing themselves from economic dependence on men, they have gained he resources to challenge he double standard. The sexual bargains they strike can focus less upon marriage and more upon immediate entertainment, companionship and sexual gratification. 25

Other approach to family in conflict perspective Although conflict theory emerged from the ideas of Friedrich Engels and Karl Marx, other social scientists have approached the issue of family somewhat differently. Sigmund Freud 24

Strong B, etal. (1998). Opcit. Pp: 54-55 Zanden V., Wilfrid J. (1990). The Social experience: an introduction to sociology. McGraw Hill Inc. P: 373 25

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution and Georg Simmel also advanced a conflict approach to the family. They contended that intimae relationships inevitably involve antagonism as well as love. More recently, sociologists have suggested that conflict is a part of all systems and interactions, including family systems and marital interactions. They see family members as confronting two conflicting demands; to compete with one another for autonomy, authority, and privilege, and simultaneously o share one another’s fate in order to survive and even flourish. 26

Critique on Conflict perspective on Family A number of difficulties arise in conflict theory. This theory seems to see whatever is there in the society, every social arrangement, every social grouping and stratification, is wrong. There is nothing good in the society. Even the loving couples and the caring parents are not good. The intimacy among family members is not a positive phenomena but a tool in the members hand to dominate other members. First, conflict theory derives from politics, in which self-interest, egotism, and competition are dominant elements. People’s behavior is also characterized by self-sacrifice and cooperation. Love is an important quality in relationships. Conflict theorists don’t often talk about the power of love or bonding; yet the presence of love and bonding may distinguish the family from all other groups in society. We often make sacrifice for the sake of hose we love. We will defer our own wishes o another’s desires; we may even sacrifice our lives for a loved one. Don’t we? Second, conflict theorists assume that differences lead to conflict. Differences can also be accepted, tolerated or appreciated. Differences do not necessarily imply conflict. Just think that who cooperate with each other? Whether without differences would there be cooperation? If there won’t be any difference with whom would you cooperate, both would become the same. Third, conflict in families is no easily measured or evaluated. Families live much of their lives privately, and outsiders are not always aware of whatever conflict exists or how pervasive it is. Also, much over conflict is avoided because it is regulated through family and societal rules. Most children obey their parents, and most spouses, although they may argue heatedly, don not employ violence.27

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Zanden V., Wilfrid J. (1990). opcit. P: 373 Strong B, etal. (1998). Opcit. Pp: 55-56

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution Fourth, according to conflict perspective woman is a sexual property and she exchanges her sexuality in return for wealth and status. What for daughters, sisters or aged people? What will they do? If women get the freedom to make sexual relationships as they want and the men are free from women responsibility. Who will take care of children, for aged and other dependent members of the family? Of course State does share some responsibility but the primary responsibility of protection of the children and aged is a family responsibility.

Conclusion Pointing to the conclusion, family is not a social arrangement to oppress one group by the other group. If the parents do not allow their children to do a particular work, it is not oppression but it is for their own betterment. The parents have to socialize their children in a particular way so that they become a normal member of the society. To conflict theorist families should not be established. Family institution is a domestic slavery for women. How stupid to think that our mother, daughter, sister, and wife are our slaves. Does it make any sense? I see family as a functional component of the society performing key role in socialization of the children and many other essential tasks. It is the family which provides emotional support. It is the family in which one can found unjealous joy over his or her success. It is family where one finds enduring sympathy in time of trouble.

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Conflict Perspective on Family as a Social Institution

Bibliography Hughes. M, Kroehler. C. (2005). Sociology The Core. 7th Ed: McGraw-Hill Inc. p. 358 Horton P.B., & Hunt C.L. (1984). Sociology. 6th ed: McGraw Hill book company. P. 15 Knox. David. (1979)Exploring Marriage and the Family. Illinois. Scott Fo5resman and Robertson. (1981). Sociology. New York. Worth Publishers. Cf. Geneseo State university of New York. Retrieved 30, May 2008. From http://www.geneseo.edu/CMS/display.php?page=8431&dpt=sociology Shahid S. M. (1998). Sociology An Introduction. Lahore. Publishers Emporium. P: 296 Skolnick, Arlene. "Marriage." Microsoft® Encarta® 2009 [DVD]. Redmond, WA: Microsoft Corporation, 2008. Strong B, etal. (1998). The Marriage and Family Experience. 7th Ed:. Wadsworth Publishing Company. P. 10 Zanden. V, Wilfrid. James. (1990). The Social Experience. McGraw Hill Inc. p. 373

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