Evina's Victim

I never asked for this to happen. People loathe my kind; to them – we are predators – cruel and heartless. And they are selfish, for they will never know how it feels for a previously outgoing individual such as myself to be ostracised by society. I often wonder why this happened to me – why me, of all people? What had I done in my past life to deserve this horrifying fate? And the loneliness… that is the worst. This is why I am going to do it – not that I condone these actions; simply I have come to a point – the point of no return - and I have no choice. I wasn’t always so bitter. People are not born with such a state of mind – it is something enforced upon them by their environment. And when you reach a point where you are lost, alone in this world and no one cares enough to save you from the endless peril, you are often forced to make somewhat irrational decisions. Of course, I didn’t always feel this way… I was in love once. And that everything changed, on that fateful day in the September of 1993. I was 17, with the world at my feet – I was nearing the end of high school, my grades had improved, and I had a boyfriend who loved me – at least, I think he did. Over the last few years, I had begun to distance myself from my family – an archetypal teenager, rebelling to find her independence. I spent a lot of time with my friends – a social butterfly, you would’ve called me. I never developed intense relationships with these acquaintances, however; I preferred to flit between them as and when I liked. So it was not my family or my social community I grieved for when I was removed from this world, it was for the love of my life… how could I be separated from him after everything I had helped him through – and how could he dessert me when I needed him most? He is not like me. He was never satisfied with his existence – unlike me. I wonder why fate had taken from me my deepest desire, and left him in the psychological hell he has created. There is nothing wrong with his life – although, he would like people to believe it. Maybe he is just so unfulfilled with the trivial aspects of humanity that he must live in a fantasy world to escape from the realisation that he is loved, by somebody at least. So why is it that I – one of few people in this world who is satisfied and content with their life – was chosen to leave it? And now I am beautiful creature – so beautiful – and yet so unwanted. It is for this reason that I have decided I must take him back, by whatever means necessary. It is a sunny day today. However, my motivation is as dark as the night sky. I wonder if this is a consequence of what I have become – all I can feel now I endless thirst – and greed. As he walked towards me, his expression was saddened with confusion. I must have looked alien to him, so different, my imperfections concealed by my white masked features. I waited for him to run - run, like everybody else had – but he didn’t. His loyalty had disconcerted me. At that point I began to deliberate – was

it truly loyalty, or mere ignorance? Still, he drew closer to me, extending his warm, sun-darkened fingers to touch my pallid features… a contrast so sharp my wax-like skin seemed to burn under his touch. And yet – I remained unmoving. I hated myself for doing this; loathed myself with a strength of emotion found only in the darkest depths of our hearts… and yet knew I must lure him into a false sense of security if I was ever to achieve what I so desired. At last he spoke. His voice has changed, somewhat, it seemed so much softer; almost delicate to my sharpened ears: “Evina… what did they do to you? I’m sorry I did this. I’m sorry for everything. It was so cowardly of me, so pathetic, that I had it in me to dessert you merely to save my own skin so selfishly. Oh Evina, you look so pale. Did they hurt you, Evi? Are you ill, my love?” I didn’t answer, only shook my head – a slight movement barely detectable to unaccustomed eyes. “I don’t blame you, Marny,” I told him finally, though my tone sounded bitter and unconvincing, “I would have quite certainly have done the same.” This was an untruth; however, I would never have told him that. Knowing the fate to which I would just as selfishly condemn him, I yearned for him to outlive this dreadful experience peacefully, in full knowledge of my love for him, and yet at the same time not wrought with guilt. As I gazed into my lover’s soulful, brown eyes, I was overwhelmed with the same passion I had once felt for him in a past life I was now so far removed from – try as it might, my fate could never rid me of such powerful emotion. Extending one graceful, swan-white hand, I gently grasped his fingers and led him through the forest, the lethargic musings of wildlife around barely audible to my subconscious. We walked together, hand in hand, until we reached the meadow in which we had spent so many a happy day together; sharing in laughter and contentment. I ushered Marny to lie on the ground and gracefully lowered myself beside him, all the resentment I had once felt towards him disappearing in that second. I stroked his forehead tenderly, whispering sweet-nothings and urged him to rest as I would have done a young child. Then I slowly lowered myself until my lips touched the warm skin of his neck. He lay there blissfully unaware. And though guilt, surged through me, I knew there was no going back. He smiled softly through closed eyes, a picture of human naivety with his long, fluttering lashes. I didn’t need to read his mind – he thought I was going to kiss him, and yet me intentions were so much crueler. I felt saddened by his beautiful and unassuming nature that was so unforgivingly entwined with my corrupted soul. I did it then. I sunk my teeth into soft, tender flesh of the neck I had once fondled so lovingly. I felt the warm, sweetened taste of his blood trickling down my throat. And

as much as I hate to admit this, I enjoyed the forbidden and yet succulent taste, for my mind was so sick and twisted in what I had become. I didn’t want to do this… I should never have done this… I couldn’t lose control… and yet my instincts had taken over. I heard his screams as if they came from far off in the distance, my actions so far removed from reality that I was barely aware of when I was doing. I felt his hands struggling in vain against my powerful grip – I was too strong for him. I had become an evil monster; he my hapless victim. I watched the life drain from him, so sadistically and uncaringly, and all the rage I had ever felt against him was unleashed to strengthen my abilities. Oh how I hated his arrogance, his self-pitying mentality, his pathetic idleness… he was so weak… so human… so easily destructed. At last I felt him grow limp in my arms. As I gazed down at his unmoving body, my eyes were drawn to his frozen lips; so stiff and cold, so unlike him. And the realisation of what I had down began to sink in, raining down upon me, it washed away all the anger I had felt, leaving only tears that trickled down my pallid cheeks and fell like droplets against the greying, barren backdrop of the sky. “Oh Marny, please wake up,” I whispered, knowing in my heart that he would not hear me, “I forgive you… I always had forgiven you… I was never truly angry at you… for anything. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. I’ll do anything to have you back… anything I… I love you”: I stammered on these last words. Oh how I knew fate had done this… stolen my true love from my as punishment for my selfish nature. And how could I ever be redeemed? For the last time, I lay down beside him. And I wept into his chest, knowing that our hearts – so cold and frozen - would be united. Forever…