1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 �eviri:
[email protected] 2 00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:09,131 hazzard da halk hikayeler anlatmay� sever. 3 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,774 �o�u ger�ekte varolmayan �eylerdi. 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:16,305 bende bir keresinde kasabadaki herkeze ���yle yar�t���m� anlatm�t�m. 5 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:19,910 asl�nda onlar sadece 2 kolay veletti. 6 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:23,050 bu efsaneler bizim bir par�am�z haline gelmi�ti. 7 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,149 onlar kim oldu�umuzu ve kim olmak istedi�imizi g�sterdi. 8 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:30,029 �imdi hazzard'�n �o�u yerlileri hakk�nda ne duydu�unuzu biliyorum. 9 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,758 ama bu hazzarddaki en k���k �ocuk 10 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,460 burdaki her�eyin nas�l ba�lad���n� g�steriyor. 11 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:42,772 bu hikaye bo ve luke un nas�l Hazzard'�n D�kleri oldu�unu anlatmaktad�r.. 12 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:53,909
bo duke. ehliyet lisans� i�in en hevesli ya� ortalamas�, 16. 13 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,914 al�veri� arabas�! Al�veri� arabas�! Al�veri� arabas�!
14 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:01,293 belikde bu onun yedinci kez deneyi�i . 15 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:08,332 t�m birimlerin dikkatine. ��pheli station vagon kullanan bir genc �ucuk, 16 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,733 elinde rehinesi olmas� m�mk�n. 17 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,967 evet, bo duke. tekrar ehliyet almaya �al��yor, h�h? 18 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,132 evet. ba�� belaya giricek. 19 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,198 aynen. 20 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,217 �z�rdilerim. anlamad�m. 21 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:32,554 �zg�n�m. ���l�klar y�z�nden konsantre olmam zor oluyor. 22 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:37,024 bu durumda daha �nce s�yleyemezdin, bo'nun tek bildi�i h�zd�r. 23 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,032 bo, 99% i�g�d� ve 1% ak�l. 24 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,430 g�zel bir g�n olucak. 25 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,128 - atlayabilirim. - hay�r, hay�r, hay�r. 26 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,171 - hay�r. - oh, kahretsin!
27 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:56,773 - bu aptal bir ��lg�nl�k. burdan gidiyorum. - bekle. ge�timmi? 28 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:02,452 hay�r, Bo, bir bok beceremedin, ama enselendin. 29 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,114 ve bence bu �ok e�lenceliydi. 30 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,754 bo nun karga�a yaratmakta �st�ne yoktur, 31 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:14,459 onun kadar ba� belas� biri daha vard�, 32 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,434 kuzeni, luke duke. 33 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:18,100 zavall� ye�il g�zl� tavr� tak�nan 34 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,765 bu kad�nlar�n kalbine giden en iyi yol. 35 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,865 bir g�n Luke �unu ��renicek, i� kad�nlara gelince, 36 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:25,308 asl�nda yanl� bir yolu izledi�ini anlicak. 37 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,710 g�zel bir k�z. Ger�ek bir han�mefendi. 38 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,275 unut onu, luke. 39 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,278 hemen tam burda sana gelece�ini s�yliyim. 40
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:37,483 �zg�n�m, fahi�e, ama ben �oktan gelece�imi biliyorum. 41 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,649 ve gelece�im debbie sue ile. 42 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,753 - hey, haz�rm�s�n? - hell, daha fazla olamazd�m . 43 00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:48,261 x 90 armagedonlar, �im�eklerin sar� halkalar�, 44 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,894 nasty napalmers bununla onun g�zlerini kama�t�r�cam, 45 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:54,303 onu etkilicem, akl�n� ba��ndan al�cam, 46 00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:56,774 ve onun kalbini kazan�cam. 47 00:02:56,943 --> 00:03:00,344 - sence ba�arabilece�ini tahmin ediyormusun? - daha senin ad�n� bile bilmiyor. 48 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:01,437 hadi,gidelim. 49 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,106 bu i� bu geceden sonra olucak. 50 00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,782 hey, luke, 51 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,948 pirensesin �atosuna gidiyor gibi g�r�n�yor. 52 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,057 bazen �ok me�kulsun ama i�lerini unutma 53
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,754 ya onu kazan�rs�n 54 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:18,328 yada onu kaybedersin 55 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,590 kahretsin. 56 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,942 luke un �ehri carpet-bombing ile ate�e verebilece�ini tahmin etmezdim. 57 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:39,376 yirmi yaral�, 15 ma�dur, 58 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,886 ve debbie sue hala luke un ad�n� bilmiyor. 59 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,150 bidahaki sefere bol �ans, romeo. 60 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,425 - kalk, kalk. - luke, birini �ld�rebilirdin. 61 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,720 bove luke un ailesi yarg��lar� ikna ettiler, 62 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:55,359 t�m yaz boyu amcas� Jesse'�n �iftli�inde, �al�ma cezas� ald�lar. 63 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,528 s�radan bir hayat�n tad�. 64 00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,235 s�radan bir hayat. �yi olan. 65 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,698 hazzard county. 66 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,903
lanet olsun. 67 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,578 - komik olan ney, goldilocks? - �ki �ey beni herzaman g�ld�r�r. 68 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:21,887 �nsan k�yafeti giymi� maymunlar, ve senin gibi otob�sten yuvarlanan amc�klar. 69 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,261 morgdaki geceyi nas�l ge�irmek istersin ? 70 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,696 sen s�yle. 71 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:35,971 hey, hey. hey, gen�ler. siz kusenleri bir arada g�rmek g�zel. 72 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,572 - bo? - luke? 73 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:42,044 hazzard'a ho�geldiniz. 74 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,343 te�ekk�rler, jesse amca. - jesse amca. 75 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,950 oh,ben esmer olan�, Sar��n olan senin. 76 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,581 j.d. hogg g�l�ce�inden eminim. 77 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,185 �ok g�l�cek. t�m kasaba onun say�l�r. 78 00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:54,988 i knew him back when he was messing his britches.
79 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,120 i think he smiled when he did that. 80 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,756 he ain't a bad guy, but just don't cross him. 81 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:02,300 oh, my goodness, some things have changed. 82 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:06,663 corals and cocktails, coz. i just found jesus. yeah! 83 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:07,763 yeah. 84 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,001 keep the garden hoses in your trousers, boys. 85 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,703 lot of fun to water the lawn, 86 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:15,771 but then you got to feed the flowers and then you got to send them to school. 87 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,510 - same old truck. - yeah. same old truck. 88 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,222 hey, ab. 89 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:40,099 come on, already. i'm gonna be 175 by the time he gets here. 90 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,199 only running he's done is against j.d. for county commissioner. 91
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,210 how you doing, ab? 92 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,405 got your medicine for you, old buddy. 93 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,108 reach in there and grab you two what you like. 94 00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,522 i hear you, buddy. see you next week. go get 'em. 95 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,425 that's his medicine? 96 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,494 well, he's 112 years old. i bring him his medicine every week. 97 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:12,061 he's got scurvy, malaria, rickets, chlamydia. you name it, he's got it. 98 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,462 come on, let's go see daisy. 99 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,531 - shotgun. - nope, i got here first. 100 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,167 get in first. 101 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:24,576 - whoa. - look out for the dog, uncle jesse! 102 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:29,577
you ever wanna find sheriff rosco p. coltrane, 103 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:33,147
go 10 blocks past sanity and take a right on crazy.
104 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,488 hang on there, jesse. 105 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,822
can't miss him. 106 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:40,161 ordinance 733. hound dogs have the right of way here in hazzard county. 107 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,233 that's great detective work, rosco. but it ain't no crime. 108 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,237 maybe lipping off to an officer of the law is, there, 109 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,832 - blue jeans and bongo drums. - we didn't want to hit your dog. 110 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,776 now was i talking to you, there, johnny jingle nuts? 111 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,006 ain't you got nothing better to do? 112 00:06:55,548 --> 00:07:00,144 well, maybe i could stuff you in my hold there, little partner. 113 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,949 and you could collect toenail clippings for fun. 114 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,816 now, you all just mind yourself. 115 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:09,521 'cause this here is rosco p. coltrane's jurisdiction. 116
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:13,730 i'll send you straight to hell in a bucket of chicken. 117 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,267 come on, kid. 118 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,660 old rosco ain't never fired that gun, but he's always looking for a reason. 119 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,468 let's don't give him one. 120 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:29,778 oh, man, pigtails. i love pigtails. 121 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,052 daisy'll introduce us to the hot locals. 122 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,558 - so we can tag some wild game. - yeah. 123 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,857 and then you can stop beating off to them breast exam ads. 124 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,158 hey, guys. hey. 125 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:49,462
daisy duke. 126 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:53,096
you can't see it yet, but there's a woman waiting to burst out of her 127 00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:54,469
like an alien invader. 128 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:58,601 i promised her folks i wouldn't let her date until she's 18 and she just hit 18. 129
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,703 and she's turning some heads. 130 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,980 what kind of heads is she turning? 131 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,540
and never far behind, enos strate. 132 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:09,480
he likes to hover waiting to come to her rescue. kind of sweet. 133 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,988 look at you. 134 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,523 oh, hey, daisy. 135 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,494 y'all are cuter than boxing gloves on a kitten. 136 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,554 - hi, uncle jesse. - hi. how was bible school? 137 00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,795 well, pastor phil says, you know, that being a virgin's cool, 138 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,928 so all us girls in class, we signed this oath 139 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,404 saying we won't have sex until marriage. 140 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,941 these are all the things we can't do. 141 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:34,504 anyway, me and the girls are real psyched about being virgins. 142 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:37,105
- all the girls signed this? - you bet. 143 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,751 can't wait to be a virgin again. 144 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,647 luke, honey, you crying? 145 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:46,390 just happy to see you, daisy. 146 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,757 the lord loves y'all. 147 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:54,061 he just wants you to know he'll be with you all summer, too. huh, daisy? 148 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:58,001 right. this is gonna be the best summer ever. 149 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,437 you know what we should be doing with this shit? 150 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,907 should be blowin' this shit up. 151 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,775 hey, you know you can make low-grade bombs with manure? 152 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,439 whoa! what are you doing? 153 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:12,507 - i'm going fast, so i can get done. - oh, yeah. 154 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,181 okay, truce. jeez. 155 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:20,481
wash up. come on in for supper. we got ham hocks, pickles, pig's feet. 156 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,495 and you can finish shoveling that manure after you have your dessert. 157 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,757 then we're done? 158 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,128 then you got to go down by the road and fix the fence, 159 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,429 feed the chickens and bale some hay. 160 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:32,835 so, we work, what, all the time? 161 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,606 no, well, not all the time. you get four solid hours of sleep. 162 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,645 and remember, annabelle can't inseminate herself. 163 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,006 god! 164 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:56,291
nothing like a good day's rest after an honest day's work. 165 00:09:56,729 --> 00:10:00,096
unless, of course, you're planning your escape. 166 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,174 vintage luke duke. 167 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,512 sneaking off without me again? 168
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,082 what's that supposed to mean? 169 00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:24,816 i'm 10, you're 11. the nurses' school. 170 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:30,126 the nurses. you didn't want to climb that tree. 171 00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:34,165 you wanted to map it out, draw a diagram, take a course in tree climbing, 172 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,531 but i convinced you. 173 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,365 what did you see? 174 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,435 i saw boobies. 175 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,604 big boobies, little boobies, 176 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:47,838 classy boobies, i saw a feast of boobies. 177 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,345 the thanksgiving day parade of boobies. 178 00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:53,775 and did you thank me? 179 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:56,952 thank you. 180 00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:00,351 no, you heard someone coming and you got down. 181 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,652 i've had a lifetime of boobies.
182 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,926 but i will never, ever forget you leaving me. 183 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,195 six years ago, all right? i was a little kid. 184 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,042 sweet ride. 185 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,952 uncle jesse's friends with a pimp? 186 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,180 boss hogg. 187 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,987 - that man knows how to live. - that's business. 188 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,621 money, power, probably got a hot wife. 189 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,959 definitely no farmer. 190 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,726 yeah. 191 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,463 the boar's nest is kicking! it's an election year. put that on, dumpling. 192 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,834 - here you go, darling. - oh, thank you. 193 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,236 i'm going in. 194 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,236 bo, don't... bo! 195 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:53,008
boys. 196 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:54,705 hi, fellas. 197 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,006 - what is this place? - i don't know. 198 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,920 but four slices of a sex pie just walked right through that door. 199 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,457 i think they need a little scoop of bo on top. 200 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:11,663 whoa! where do you think you boys are going? 201 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,429 we're with them. 202 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,401 okay. thank you. 203 00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,439 nice sleeves. 204 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,735 no place for minors is definitely a place for us. 205 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:28,075 - there's got to be another way in. - let's go. 206 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,138 - whoa, ladies. - yeah. 207 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,273 - well, what have we got here? - let me know.
208 00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:33,477 - okay. - bye. 209 00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:37,313 hello, folks, how you doing? 210 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,289 how are you doing? 211 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,484 - how y'all doing? - you called my mother a what? 212 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,118 not gonna take that. 213 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,727 - look at that. - there you go. great shot. 214 00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,061 j.d. hogg is in the house. 215 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:51,365 hey, now, they're fighting over you, there, joanne. 216 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,031 hey. 217 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:56,836 hey, hey, hey. you wanna piece of him, you better take a piece of me. 218 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,513 it's locked. 219 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,084 - i'm going this way. - wait up. 220 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,884
boss hogg's prize boar dainty.
221 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,916
three time state champ and a close second in j.d.'s heart, 222 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,122
after his wife lulu. 223 00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,960 it's hogg's hog. 224 00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,262 stay. sit. 225 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,910 - so, how's lulu? - expensive. 226 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:36,641 my wife's got a jewelry habit that'd make a crack whore look sensible. 227 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,081 lucky you're the richest guy in hazzard, huh? 228 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,948 yeah. it's good enough for a county commissioner. 229 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,146 but what about the future? 230 00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:47,090 governor hogg. president hogg. prime minister hogg. 231 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:51,154 - well, i ain't much into politics. - these things cost big bucks. 232 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,801 seems my temporary blindness to your illegal activities 233 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:02,705
- should be worth more like 10%. - oh, it is. 234 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,466 - undying friendship. - which is nice. 235 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,272 but i'm thinking more like 25%. 236 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,145 well, i ain't making a lot of money out there selling shine. 237 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,151 i'm paying a few bills, but i ain't getting rich. 238 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,153 which brings me to my next proposal. 239 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:18,520 it's high time we expand your little operation, sell abroad. 240 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,320 i ain't selling no broads. 241 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,359 - that's good. - yeah. 242 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,829 yeah. no, i'm talking about neighboring counties. 243 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:29,425 i can't afford to go to jail. i've got three young'uns that i'm raising. 244 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,231 you're thinking small, jesse. we could be partners. 245 00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,568 rich as rich, chocolatey ovaltine.
246 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:41,444 i really don't think it's right that i cut you in after you've been elected. 247 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:45,108 - it's kind of like bribery, don't you think? - it is bribery, jesse. 248 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,243 what the hell you think we've been doing out there, 249 00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:49,583 selling cotton candy to nuns? 250 00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,883 one way or the other, i'm gonna get my money. 251 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:55,916 you got two weeks, then i'm sending rosco out to foreclose on the farm. 252 00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,895 no more slipping on payments. 253 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,667 - hey, where did she go? - who? 254 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,033 who? 255 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,435 come on, we'll save you, dainty. 256 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,436 hang on, girl. 257 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,234 come on. 258 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,712 no, no. hold on. come on.
259 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,409 oh, no. 260 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:27,682 - would you pull, bo? - that is... what did she eat? 261 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,301 dainty! 262 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,608 dainty! 263 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:49,044 did you meet my nephews over there, bo and luke? 264 00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:52,611 y'all better pray my girl survives. 265 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,852 two weeks and your farm is mine. 266 00:15:56,922 --> 00:16:00,358 dukes have been living and dying on this farm for 150 years. 267 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,862 great grandpa duke built this out of a bucket of nails and a rock. 268 00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:07,262 my pa died sitting in that chair right where you are, luke. 269 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,597 shat himself and then went gently into the night. 270 00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,363 god rest his soul. 271 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,072 hell, i was born right here on this table.
272 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:18,007 mama's water broke, i popped out there like a log ride at a water park. 273 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,911 i can't lose my home. 274 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,407 look, i'll get a job at the boar's nest. 275 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,009 and i'll crack open some shine to settle our nerves. 276 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,021 can't wait for that tasty beverage. 277 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,387 you ain't never drinking that shine. you hear me? 278 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,686 now, j.d.'s mad. 279 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:37,092 and that stunt y'all pulled with the flying pig didn't help none. 280 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,686 and he's gonna collect. 281 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,322 and i couldn't make enough shine 282 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:43,197 and still have time to run it and cover the loan. 283 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,134 no. but we could. 284 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,407 hell, yeah. we could run it.
285 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,969 us working together, we'd come up with the money. 286 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,379 no, your folks sent y'all down here to be good men, 287 00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:58,848 not to be shine runners. 288 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,545 and if you get throwed in jail, you could be there a long time. 289 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,554 listen, uncle jesse. we don't have a choice. 290 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,613 all we have is two weeks. 291 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,887 - if we sell enough... - and we're quick enough... 292 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:11,393 you don't have to worry about boss hogg again. 293 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,897 we're dukes. this is our farm, too. 294 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,629 - and no one's taking it from us. - it ain't a bad idea, uncle jesse. 295 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,531 all we need is... 296 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,402 - a fast car. - yeah. 297 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:30,378
there's an old saying that the journey of a thousand miles 298 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,349
begins with a single step. 299 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:36,912
sometimes those steps can be blocked by a bunch of annoying little girls. 300 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:40,816 - hello, tiny girls. - excuse me, ladies. 301 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:45,527 have any of you adorable little tykes seen a super-charged, 302 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:49,260 high performance, v-8 engine laying around here anywhere? 303 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,564 look, we're 9, what do you want from us? 304 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,504 oh, that's it. come here. come here. 305 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,701 oh, you hide behind those pigtails and those braces, come on. come on. 306 00:17:57,776 --> 00:17:59,505 man, that guy's an idiot. 307 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,246 she ain't worth it. 308 00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:06,841 yeah. she's lucky you won't beat up anything under 10. 309 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,750 she's lucky i got standards. 310
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,583 a gasoline bomb just detonated in my heart. 311 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:17,356 - who are they? - the handy sisters. 312 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:21,497 brooke and ali. look, those girls have reps for doing anything. 313 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,193 - stay away. - oh, definitely. 314 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,328 definitely gonna stay away from the girls who'll do anything. 315 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,873 sound advice. i'm gonna go talk to them. 316 00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:32,272 who needs to talk when you got a blonde river on your head? 317 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,642 - bo, let me talk to them. - blonde river. 318 00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,476 - talk. - blonde river. 319 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,817 hello, up there. 320 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,585 - hey, y'all. - hi. 321 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:49,193 yeah. i'm luke. cousin bo. 322 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,260
- charmed. - seriously? 323 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:53,992 thanks. 324 00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,632 that is awesome. 325 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,330 fellas. 326 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,137 we gotta go. we got some business to attend to. 327 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,402 we do? 328 00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:07,744 we do. it was nice chatting with you. 329 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,374 come on. 330 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,983
so, they set out to find the perfect car. 331 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:17,419
starting at the high school, where kids learn reading, writing 332 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,184
and the real meaning of third base. 333 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:22,523 there's only one guy i know who is a genius with cars. 334 00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:26,496 are sure, daisy? i mean, we need a serious garage, not some high school. 335 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,432
they might cut home economics
and the debate squad, 336 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,629
but there's always room in the budget for shop class in hazzard. 337 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,638 how come boys never notice me? 338 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,301 'cause you're dressed like a lady golfer who likes to swoon lady bikers. 339 00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,904 no, he's kidding. you're more of a lady construction worker on her day off. 340 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,915 so, where is this engine whiz you've been talking about? 341 00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,951 somebody call my name? 342 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,014 hey. hey. 343 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,615 - daisy duke. - cooter. 344 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,991 these are my cousins, bo and luke. 345 00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,896 pleasure to meet you, sweet innocent and dark mystery. 346 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:04,197 just nicknames. take 'em or leave 'em. 347 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,636 my stars. that is real nice. 348 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,174
hey, i'll bet that breathes real good, doesn't it? 349 00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:13,109 - are you the shop teacher? - hell, no. i'm a student. 350 00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:16,204 - daisy tells us you know cars. - cars? yes. 351 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,243 look at this baby. 352 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,549 math and history? no. 353 00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:24,150 a high school diploma remains just out of reach. 354 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:28,590 lord willing and the creek don't rise, they'll let me be a senior a fourth time. 355 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,896 there's still much work to be done here. 356 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:35,229 - we need something reliable. - something with speed. 357 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,058 speed i can do. 358 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,969 my trademark? horns. 359 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,412 that song needs work. 360 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:52,382 okay, you want something a little more edgier, then? 361
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,676 what do you say, we test drive this sucker, huh? 362 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,052 well, shit. i'll try anything once. 363 00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:01,058 except guy-on-guy. i'm just kidding. 364 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,053 i'd try that. 365 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:07,094 all right. come on. i got the perfect place to open her up. 366 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,263 watch out. watch your back. coming through. 367 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,137 excuse me. pardon me. 368 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,743 - whoa! - look out, man. 369 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,747 coming through. bo duke. 370 00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:27,409 you're gonna kill us, bo. 371 00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:31,582
here's a little reminder that we live in the greatest country on the planet. 372 00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:33,452 oh, man. 373 00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:34,581 hello, ladies. 374 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,252
oh, you missed a spot. 375 00:21:39,197 --> 00:21:40,186 hey! 376 00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,866 please don't touch that! 377 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:51,032 get back and help me. 378 00:21:56,948 --> 00:21:59,542 bo, you can't go there. don't be driving down the halls like that. 379 00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,643 you can't be driving down the halls like that. 380 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,621 slow down. pull that thing over. 381 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:07,221 oh, no. oh, man. 382 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,123 - well, i could jump it. - it? 383 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:14,562 her. it. 384 00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:16,931 whatever. i can jump it. 385 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,775 hot damn. 386 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:29,780 i ain't seen moves like that since a tornado touched down in miss lally's class 387 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:32,578 and ended the evolution debate once and for all.
388 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,546 - hey, enos. - cooter. 389 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:39,181 - are you mixed up with them? - like a mixed romaine salad 390 00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:41,657 topped with vinaigrette and pecans. 391 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:44,888 - hi, enos. - hi, daisy. 392 00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:46,988 looks like you got manhandled. 393 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:51,001 actually, it was the jv cheerleading squad. thank god it wasn't varsity. 394 00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:54,000 listen, enos. my cousins are new in town. 395 00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:57,064 maybe, as my friend, you can let them go. just this once. 396 00:22:57,142 --> 00:23:00,043 oh, sure, daisy. for you. 397 00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:03,440 let's get you back together. 398 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:07,712 they don't teach you about cheerleaders in training you to be a hall monitor. 399 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:09,850 i'd say you can handle that engine, cooter. 400 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,149 yeah?
401 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,659 now all we need is the perfect body. 402 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:18,787 boys, i feel like i've been failing my whole life for this moment. 403 00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:20,659 come on. i know a place. hop in. 404 00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,958
the county junkyard. 405 00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,570
yep. you might see nothing but piles of junk, 406 00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:31,041
but these boys see warm dollops of clay ripe for sculpting into greatness. 407 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,184 what are you looking for, buddha? 408 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:43,710 my gut is gonna tell me when i've found the right car. 409 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:47,320 all right, don't question me on this and i won't question you on being a virgin. 410 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:48,825 all right, who told you that, huh? 411 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:51,055 i want names, addresses, phone numbers, next of kin. 412 00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:53,029 'cause i've slept with thousands of women. 413 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,259
oh, well, that's smart in this day and age. 414 00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:58,097 well, we're all virgins till we've been with the one that we love. 415 00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:00,798 well, that's good. except i ain't a virgin. 416 00:24:00,872 --> 00:24:02,999 virginity ain't a crime, now. 417 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,200 except in the state of bo. 418 00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:08,010 watch this. 419 00:24:13,151 --> 00:24:14,277 i'm okay. 420 00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,016 what's with sliding across the hood. 421 00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:24,924 why would i waste my time walking all the way around the car? 422 00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,058 think, luke. you're supposed to be the smart one. 423 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,861 i'm the good-looking one. 424 00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:33,265 i know the right car is here somewhere. 425 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:35,831 bo. 426 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,412 i admire his passion, but that boy is crazy. 427
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:46,212 well, what do you say we call it a day? 428 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:49,720 go cool off. get some smoothies. i know a place. 429 00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,118 - all right. - come on, big guy. 430 00:24:53,391 --> 00:24:56,485 boys, welcome to hogg's ravine. 431 00:24:57,562 --> 00:25:00,588 - is there anything hogg doesn't own? - nope. 432 00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:03,730 but one day, i'm gonna open up my own garage. 433 00:25:03,802 --> 00:25:05,793 cooter's garage. 434 00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:09,570 it'll have my name on it. boss ain't gonna own that. 435 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:11,333 hey, what's on the other side of the ravine? 436 00:25:11,409 --> 00:25:13,604 factory for hogg's ice cream. 437 00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:17,637 - hogg makes ice cream? - yup, yup, yup. i never had any, 438 00:25:17,716 --> 00:25:21,015 but i heard the peach melba's absolutely outrageous. 439 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:24,817 anyway, no one's allowed over there.
road's all gated up. 440 00:25:25,056 --> 00:25:27,354 boss is very protective of his recipe. 441 00:25:28,059 --> 00:25:29,390 hey, boys. 442 00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:36,629 sunny-side up or over easy? call it in the air. 443 00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:38,668 i've always been a breast man. 444 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:41,331 okay, you take the rack, i'll take the back. 445 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:45,369 watch and learn, luke. watch and learn. 446 00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:51,839 ladies, do me. 447 00:25:55,086 --> 00:25:57,179 hey, girls, watch me. 448 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,254 - why you got to go and do that? - i like it. 449 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,760 - anybody ever dive in there? - sometimes. 450 00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:16,804 i'll be dipped. 451 00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:21,070 you said people dive in here all the time. i thought it was safe. 452 00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:24,377 oh, no, hell, no. i said sometimes people dive.
453 00:26:24,449 --> 00:26:26,508 most of the time they end up crippled or 454 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,917 - on life support or brain damaged. - oh, man. 455 00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:30,079 just depends. 456 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:32,385 oh, man. i'm coming for you, luke. 457 00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,135 come on. don't die on me, now. 458 00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:56,472
you'd think bo'd be under water looking for his drowning cousin. 459 00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,709
but it's hard to think about your loved ones 460 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:01,343
when you've found a sunken treasure. 461 00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:05,244 breathe. 462 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,824 score one for cooter. 463 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:13,830 there is a car down there. 464 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:15,627 thanks for saving me, bo. 465 00:27:41,926 --> 00:27:43,951 it's a '69 dodge charger. 466 00:27:44,429 --> 00:27:46,920
well, i'll be mud on a frog's back. 467 00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:50,994 hey, back in my pop's day, they used to dare each other to jump the ravine. 468 00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,469 some stupid son of a bitch tried. 469 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,900 - sounds like he didn't make it. - nobody can. it's impossible. 470 00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:59,375 car must not be that hot, neither. 471 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:03,345 no. that is the car. i can feel it. 472 00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:08,242 it just hasn't found the right driver yet. 473 00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:25,092 it's from the civil war. 474 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,463 what's your lucky number, bo? 475 00:29:34,205 --> 00:29:35,263 one. 476 00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:52,048
ain't that just about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? 477 00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:55,752
that car kicks so much ass it should have feet. 478 00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:02,632 - why you gotta go and do that? - because it's cool. 479 00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:04,994 you sure you don't want me
to weld your side shut? 480 00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:06,900 - no. - all right. 481 00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:12,099 - ready, coz? - ready, coz. 482 00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:16,811 all right, boys, listen. this little baby here... oh, sorry. 483 00:30:16,881 --> 00:30:18,246 that's mechanic talk. 484 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:22,980 this car, well, it's got enough parts, it'd make the pentagon wet. 485 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,820 all right? break it in nice and easy. 486 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:28,587 race you. 487 00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,007 go, bo! 488 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:46,871 i'm not gonna see that car for a while, am i? 489 00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:48,310 i don't think so. 490 00:31:10,635 --> 00:31:12,569 oh, my goodness. 491 00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:16,334 i wanna paint. i wanna sail. 492 00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:19,005 i wanna help old people and children.
493 00:31:19,077 --> 00:31:23,571 but most of all, i wanna drive this car right through the sound barrier. 494 00:31:23,648 --> 00:31:25,013 oh, my god. 495 00:31:26,851 --> 00:31:30,480 bo just discovered religion and cooter. 496 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:33,223 cooter, you're his prophet. thank you, man. 497 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:35,725 - thank you. thank you. - it's okay, pal. 498 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,856 i promised myself i wouldn't cry today. 499 00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:40,295 look at me. 500 00:31:40,865 --> 00:31:43,163 you're an honorary duke now, cooter. 501 00:31:43,868 --> 00:31:45,233 you know, when i was a ridge runner 502 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,737 moving shine and leaving them cops choking in my dust, 503 00:31:47,805 --> 00:31:50,535 we used to name our cars after generals. 504 00:31:51,476 --> 00:31:55,810 oh, well, then, this should be named after the greatest of all. 505 00:31:57,582 --> 00:31:59,311 general lee.
506 00:32:02,854 --> 00:32:05,687 you know, running shine is a lot like knowing how to kill a man 507 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,088 with your thumb 12 ways. 508 00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:08,989 it ain't really that hard once you know how, 509 00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:10,186 but you got to practice at it. 510 00:32:10,261 --> 00:32:12,422 you can kill a man with your thumb? 511 00:32:13,731 --> 00:32:15,289 forget that part. here's what you got to remember. 512 00:32:15,366 --> 00:32:18,494 it's more than just speed out here. you got to be smart. 513 00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:20,764 been going over this map of hazzard. 514 00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,770 - i think i got our routes figured out. - well, that's good. 515 00:32:23,841 --> 00:32:25,069 but you got to improvise. 516 00:32:25,143 --> 00:32:29,102 unforeseen circumstances come up quicker than a stiffy on prom night. 517 00:32:30,148 --> 00:32:33,515 best advice i ever had was from an old moonshiner buddy of mine, 518 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:37,042 - old "three nipples" ned.
- the man had three nipples? 519 00:32:37,221 --> 00:32:40,713 no, he really had four, but we didn't want to call attention to it. 520 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,818 so he told us on his death bed, he said these three words. 521 00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:48,025 - he said, "don't get caught." - cops got him? 522 00:32:48,099 --> 00:32:52,035 no, actually it was emmy lou hassett. it was that tertiary syphilis. 523 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:54,331 that's another thing you want to remember, now. 524 00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:56,396 if you don't want your pecker to feel like a flame-thrower, 525 00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:58,203 you better wear a rubber. 526 00:32:58,409 --> 00:33:01,674 uncle jesse, don't you think we should sample the product 527 00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:04,044 - for our customers' sake? - yeah, bo's right. 528 00:33:04,115 --> 00:33:06,049 i mean, people might have questions. 529 00:33:06,117 --> 00:33:09,280 i don't think y'all's folks want y'all out here drinking and driving shine. 530 00:33:09,354 --> 00:33:11,982 time to baptize the general. come on.
531 00:33:28,639 --> 00:33:31,437
for a week those boys tore up and down the county, 532 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:35,240
making stops for every teacher, preacher and milkmaid in sight. 533 00:33:43,621 --> 00:33:47,955
bo and luke became the fastest shine runners in hazzard history. 534 00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:38,305 holy water. 535 00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,673 thank you. 536 00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:52,213
so things were tasting sweeter 537 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:55,316
than applejack in a honeydew melon for the duke boys. 538 00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:58,157
but remember, daisy wanted to help out, too, 539 00:34:58,229 --> 00:35:01,528
and she'd be damned if she wasn't gonna make a contribution. 540 00:35:03,901 --> 00:35:05,960
well, a new face in hazzard. 541 00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:08,403
now, i'll tell you city folk ain't really my type, 542 00:35:08,473 --> 00:35:10,998
but this was a flavor daisy had never tasted. 543
00:35:11,075 --> 00:35:12,406 excuse me. 544 00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:14,711 oh, i'm so sorry. 545 00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:17,009 i just want to see about a waitressing job. 546 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:20,346 look, don't worry. a little water will take that right out. 547 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:22,878 look. 548 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:28,489 i'm not trying to be rude, but you just don't have the right look 549 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,425 for the nest. 550 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:35,493 these girls are tough, confident. 551 00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:40,034 oh, right. 552 00:35:40,738 --> 00:35:41,898 hey. 553 00:35:42,106 --> 00:35:45,371
her interviewing skills leave something to be desired. 554 00:35:45,443 --> 00:35:46,432 thank you. 555 00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:51,813
but she accomplished one thing. daisy done gone and got herself smitten. 556 00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:54,011 daisy?
557 00:35:55,052 --> 00:35:58,544 i just acted like a fool in front of the most gorgeous, handsome man 558 00:35:58,623 --> 00:36:00,420 ever to come to hazzard. 559 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:02,952 but i just got here. 560 00:36:03,928 --> 00:36:07,022 ladies, hello. 561 00:36:07,565 --> 00:36:09,590 - ladies. - hi. 562 00:36:10,268 --> 00:36:11,428 brooke! ali! 563 00:36:11,903 --> 00:36:14,531 ladies! how you doing? 564 00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:17,198 - cooter. - yeah? 565 00:36:18,709 --> 00:36:21,837 - let's make a toast. - yes, yes, let's make a toast. 566 00:36:22,313 --> 00:36:24,474 to waking up in chickasaw 567 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:28,747 in the strong protective arms of a female correctional officer. 568 00:36:29,453 --> 00:36:30,647 what a night! 569 00:36:36,994 --> 00:36:38,325 we're gonna go.
570 00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:40,921 yeah, we're teaching erotic dance at the senior center. 571 00:36:40,998 --> 00:36:43,398 and we're late. sorry. 572 00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:45,892 - don't go! - don't go! 573 00:36:47,171 --> 00:36:50,072 - thanks a lot, cooter. - was it the toast? 574 00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:57,373 sorry. 575 00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:02,250 you guys came in in that '69 charger, right? 576 00:37:06,023 --> 00:37:07,490 the general lee. 577 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:10,360 hi, i'm hughie, the new manager. 578 00:37:13,264 --> 00:37:14,390 yeah. 579 00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:21,870 i thought you'd like some hogg d'oeuvres on the house. well, come on. 580 00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:26,808 those boss hoggs in a blanket are absolutely magic. 581 00:37:26,877 --> 00:37:28,310 yes, they are. 582 00:37:29,146 --> 00:37:33,344 so i got to say, you guys have one killer orange car out there.
583 00:37:34,619 --> 00:37:38,282 yeah, two things i can't live without. my car 584 00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:41,123 and my cellphone. 585 00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:43,750 except i can't get any reception around here. 586 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:47,320 - how do you guys survive? - we use a cb. 587 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,198 a cb. 588 00:37:56,941 --> 00:38:00,240 well, i have to get back to work, but you know we should hang out 589 00:38:00,311 --> 00:38:02,142 if you guys know anything to do around here. 590 00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:06,013 - oh, yeah, we know lots to do. - yeah, all right. excellent. 591 00:38:06,083 --> 00:38:08,483 well, i'll see you guys around. 592 00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:14,114 sorry, guys. boss told me to turn up the tv every time he's on. 593 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:19,185
folks, hazzard's sick. what's the cause? 594 00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:22,292 greedy shiners like these two 595 00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:25,193
selling their liquid fire to the unsuspecting. 596 00:38:25,269 --> 00:38:26,327 come on. 597 00:38:26,404 --> 00:38:28,770 now let this be a warning to all you moonshiners out there. 598 00:38:28,839 --> 00:38:32,104 my deputies will find you, they'll smoke you out of your holes, 599 00:38:32,176 --> 00:38:34,303 and they'll send you back to hell. 600 00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,506 i ain't done yet! 601 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:46,086 earlier today i declared hazzard a dry county, and anyone 602 00:38:46,691 --> 00:38:49,159
who uncovers a moonshine operation 603 00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:53,959 will collect a handsome $25,000 reward. 604 00:38:56,467 --> 00:38:57,559
okay. 605 00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,463 now to show my level of commitment, 606 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:03,200 i'm turning my own boar's nest into an ice cream parlor. 607 00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:04,673 yummy, huh? 608 00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,635 that's good eating, right there.
609 00:39:09,647 --> 00:39:12,912 let this be known, that together 610 00:39:13,317 --> 00:39:16,309 we can all live high on the hogg. 611 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:21,924 how do you like my hoggettes? 612 00:39:23,394 --> 00:39:24,486 thank you. 613 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:32,726 i can't believe that boss declared war on us. 614 00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:34,903 - you worried? - please. 615 00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:37,838 the general lee comes equipped with a gas pedal and my foot. 616 00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:40,706 we got the fastest car in 37 counties. 617 00:39:40,778 --> 00:39:43,508 - well, well, well. - afternoon, rosco. 618 00:39:43,581 --> 00:39:46,448 we just saw you on tv. you know, you make a convincing sheriff. 619 00:39:46,517 --> 00:39:48,144 you really do. hey, flash. 620 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,881 don't you touch flash, you deviant. hey! 621 00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:53,515 you know i got a couple of shine-swilling weasels
622 00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,856 in the back of my squad car, and they're starting to smell like ass. 623 00:39:56,927 --> 00:39:58,690 where is that shine-selling uncle of yours? 624 00:39:58,763 --> 00:40:01,027 you know, you're much better-looking in person? 625 00:40:01,098 --> 00:40:03,828 delicate. tv hides how pretty you really are. 626 00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:08,334 now, i didn't come over here to have you tell me how pretty i am. 627 00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:11,004 i know how pretty i am. 628 00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:14,539 now you open up the general lee and let me see that contraband. 629 00:40:14,612 --> 00:40:15,977 come on, move. 630 00:40:16,547 --> 00:40:18,538 that's why they call me the rattlesnake, boy. 631 00:40:18,616 --> 00:40:21,813 - 'cause when i sense trouble, i strike. - ...contraband, rosco. 632 00:40:21,886 --> 00:40:24,787
figures old rosco'd leave the keys right on the seat. 633 00:40:24,855 --> 00:40:25,844 go, go, go. 634
00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:28,585
he's dumb as a screen door on a submarine. 635 00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:31,184 that's a real fancy car you got here, rosco. 636 00:40:31,562 --> 00:40:34,030 almost make you seem like a real sheriff. 637 00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,962 well, thank you for... wait a minute. 638 00:40:36,033 --> 00:40:40,766 i am the real sheriff here. i won 46.7% of the vote. 639 00:40:40,871 --> 00:40:43,897 - who did you run against? - well, i ran unopposed, 640 00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:46,408 'cause no one was man enough to run against me. 641 00:40:46,477 --> 00:40:49,446 now you get this rig popped open real quick-like, 642 00:40:49,513 --> 00:40:52,004 like a little tiny chinese toy box... hey! 643 00:40:52,082 --> 00:40:55,108 they gave you a real gun, rosco. that is awesome. that is great. 644 00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:57,347 hey, don't you touch that. that's standard issue. 645 00:40:57,421 --> 00:41:00,322 don't touch my puppy. don't touch her. 646 00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:04,691 - hey, my bullets! what...
- oh, now look what i've done. 647 00:41:05,262 --> 00:41:06,490 - hey, there. - here you go. 648 00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:07,861 don't rub it on your leg like that. 649 00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:11,095 we got chores to do, rosco. it ain't easy being a simple farmer. 650 00:41:11,168 --> 00:41:14,660 no, no, this is an unacceptable... give me that moonshine. 651 00:41:14,738 --> 00:41:17,571 yeah, i got to get that door fixed, rosco. sorry about that. 652 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,768 - see you next time. - i know there's shine in here. 653 00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:22,335 - hey! - oh, wait, rosco. 654 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:25,177 maybe next time you can chase us like a real cop. 655 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,774 you let them go, little flash honey. 656 00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:33,453 don't you burn rubber on me! i know where you live! 657 00:41:35,259 --> 00:41:37,659 hey! hey, now... 658 00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:42,589 hey, this is rosco. we got some shiners on the run.
659 00:41:45,402 --> 00:41:48,769 looks like y'all were right, boys. they're locking up people. 660 00:41:49,373 --> 00:41:51,841 j.d. had rosco run off all our customers. 661 00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:54,775 ain't right, them scaring people. 662 00:41:54,845 --> 00:41:56,210 well, this is getting way too dangerous. 663 00:41:56,280 --> 00:42:00,216 - that could be y'all in jail, or even worse. - don't say it, uncle jesse. 664 00:42:00,284 --> 00:42:03,151 i'm not about to send y'all home to your folks in wooden boxes, 665 00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:06,053 and this farm ain't worth saving if we got to lose you boys. 666 00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:09,251 - there's got to be something we can do. - maybe there is. 667 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,355 i got a couple of suits at home that might fit y'all. 668 00:42:12,429 --> 00:42:16,923 what do you say we pay old j.d. a visit? it might be time to call a truce. 669 00:42:30,514 --> 00:42:33,950 oh, my gosh. you boys look like you just fell off a wedding cake. 670 00:42:34,018 --> 00:42:36,418 thanks, daisy. what're you doing? 671
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,120 hughie ain't rejecting me again. 672 00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:52,498 hot enough for you, hughie? 673 00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:42,378 what's the point? i should be a nun. 674 00:43:42,586 --> 00:43:45,316
doesn't daisy look mighty discouraged? 675 00:43:45,389 --> 00:43:47,448
but some lessons you got to learn by yourself. 676 00:43:47,524 --> 00:43:50,152
you leave a spark alone you might just find yourself 677 00:43:50,227 --> 00:43:52,320
in the middle of a raging inferno. 678 00:44:01,605 --> 00:44:05,507
so while one duke is on a quest to find her inner hotness, 679 00:44:05,576 --> 00:44:07,669
the other dukes are about to get all hot and bothered 680 00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:12,307
by a first-class culinary experience care of mrs. lulu hogg. 681 00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:14,874 so, you boys ever roasted a turkey before? 682 00:44:15,252 --> 00:44:18,653 - no, miss hogg. - oh, please, call me lulu. 683 00:44:20,057 --> 00:44:24,016 it's arabic for pearl. you know where to find a pearl?
684 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:28,298 open a clam, spread the fleshy pink meat with your fingers, 685 00:44:28,365 --> 00:44:30,356 and find something beautiful. 686 00:44:31,068 --> 00:44:34,663
you know it's summer, 'cause this woman's in heat 687 00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:36,567
and insane. 688 00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,906 you keep this up, you're gonna get my boys hurt. 689 00:44:40,978 --> 00:44:44,106 your boys are riding shine, not a-riding ponies. 690 00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:45,773 getting hurt's part of the territory. 691 00:44:46,650 --> 00:44:48,675 now we pat her dry, boys. 692 00:44:48,752 --> 00:44:53,951 not that she don't enjoy being wet, but she likes to have her bottom patted. 693 00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:57,718 there. come on, luke. 694 00:44:57,828 --> 00:45:00,922 yeah, go on, luke. don't be shy. you love to cook. 695 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,858 that's hazzard mountain over there. you remember we flipped that car 696 00:45:05,936 --> 00:45:07,801 seven times.
shook our brains up a little bit, 697 00:45:07,871 --> 00:45:11,307 we still got up and delivered that load on time, on foot. remember that? 698 00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,775 - ancient history. - well, i don't forget things like that. 699 00:45:13,844 --> 00:45:15,937 you done broke the pact that we used to live by. 700 00:45:16,013 --> 00:45:17,742 you don't hurt a fellow moonshiner. 701 00:45:17,815 --> 00:45:19,783 you broke the pact when you ended our business arrangement. 702 00:45:19,850 --> 00:45:21,841 now that you aren't a friend of j.d. hogg, 703 00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:25,514 you're finding hazzard to be lonelier than a chubby kid at space camp. 704 00:45:25,589 --> 00:45:30,151 now, you wanna stuff her body cavity. 705 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:32,923 come on. 706 00:45:34,765 --> 00:45:37,495 stuff it good. good. 707 00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:42,265 you try to get deep inside there. come on, now. get on up in there. 708 00:45:42,873 --> 00:45:45,569 - get it in there, luke. come on. - come on now. 709
00:45:45,642 --> 00:45:47,906 - go on in there. - come on, luke. don't be shy. 710 00:45:47,978 --> 00:45:50,446 - okay. - stick it in there. come on. 711 00:45:50,681 --> 00:45:52,012 come on, luke. 712 00:46:02,726 --> 00:46:06,025 look, jesse loses control. can he recover? 713 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:09,554 you're gonna let this personal feud between you and i get out of hand. 714 00:46:09,633 --> 00:46:10,759 you got a dry county, 715 00:46:10,834 --> 00:46:13,462 and you're arresting moonshiners. these are nice guys. 716 00:46:13,537 --> 00:46:16,062 your moonshining days are over. it's time for a new career. 717 00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,540 how about farming? 718 00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:22,370 oh, hell, that's right. you've only got the farm a few more days. 719 00:46:22,479 --> 00:46:26,074 jesse crashes and burns. our condolences to his family. 720 00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:30,985 but the unbeatable, undeniable j.d. hogg takes his victory lap, 721 00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:35,952 collects a million dollars
and shags a movie star. 722 00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:40,654 yeah, you're in a pickle, jesse. 723 00:46:47,304 --> 00:46:48,771 it's amazing. 724 00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:52,142 you are single and down for anything. 725 00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:55,743 any girl would love to snatch you up. 726 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:59,010 he's right. now for the most important part. 727 00:46:59,116 --> 00:47:03,280 we baste her with hot juices. she loves getting basted. 728 00:47:03,854 --> 00:47:05,082 there you go. 729 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:11,691 oh, god. 730 00:47:13,063 --> 00:47:16,999 sis, where is flashy and his little squeaky toy? 731 00:47:17,067 --> 00:47:19,592
you know, the one that looks like a bandido? 732 00:47:24,775 --> 00:47:27,209 you fellas wait right here while i go get my gun. 733 00:47:27,277 --> 00:47:30,872 dear brother, you are in my home 'cause your wife tossed you out on your ear. 734 00:47:30,948 --> 00:47:34,406
now, if you don't want to sleep at the jail, leave these boys alone. 735 00:47:34,484 --> 00:47:36,384 these hoodlums are trespassing. 736 00:47:36,453 --> 00:47:39,286 as far as i'm concerned, they are innocent 737 00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:41,916 until someone else is proven more adorable. 738 00:47:43,126 --> 00:47:46,254 well, i'm gonna nail you dukes hard from behind 739 00:47:46,396 --> 00:47:48,330 when you least expect it. 740 00:47:48,398 --> 00:47:49,456 kinky. 741 00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:53,398 all right, boys, come on, let's get out of here. 742 00:47:53,470 --> 00:47:55,734 y'all let me know if you need any job applications. 743 00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:58,274 i do own a few businesses in town. 744 00:47:58,342 --> 00:48:01,539 you come back any time, luke. you'll be my special helper. 745 00:48:01,845 --> 00:48:03,278 oh, he'll be back. 746 00:48:05,282 --> 00:48:08,740 - when do we bust them, boss? - don't you worry, rosco. 747
00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:11,185 if i know jesse, he ain't done cooking shine 748 00:48:11,255 --> 00:48:14,088 until they plant his corpse with the spring crops. 749 00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:20,057 i want to show you boys something that i'm real proud of. 750 00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:22,061 we'll take your word for it. 751 00:48:22,699 --> 00:48:26,226 i've been working long and hard to make this one come out right. 752 00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:29,038 okay, that's disgusting. 753 00:48:30,207 --> 00:48:32,732 this is where we hide the duke still. 754 00:48:35,545 --> 00:48:39,003
welcome to the place where dreams are made. 755 00:48:39,283 --> 00:48:41,808
and illegally bottled and sold at a profit. 756 00:48:43,820 --> 00:48:46,789 luke, i have a feeling that we are about to see 757 00:48:46,857 --> 00:48:50,122 how the vips are treated at this farm. 758 00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:53,827 this old still has been in our family for over 100 years, boys. 759 00:48:53,897 --> 00:48:56,127 it makes the best shine in the county.
760 00:48:56,199 --> 00:48:58,099 back during prohibition, great grandpa duke 761 00:48:58,168 --> 00:49:00,068 called together a meeting of all the shiners. 762 00:49:00,137 --> 00:49:02,765 it was his idea to sell a lot at one time and make enough money 763 00:49:02,839 --> 00:49:04,272 to get through the winter. 764 00:49:04,341 --> 00:49:08,437 - genius. a flea market for moonshiners. - yeah, kind of like a shine mart. 765 00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:12,039 well, this is our last shot, boys. so we got to make a lot in the next 24 hours. 766 00:49:12,115 --> 00:49:14,811 let's not waste any time. let's go get daisy. 767 00:49:14,885 --> 00:49:15,874 wait. 768 00:49:16,753 --> 00:49:19,244 leave daisy alone. she's got her heart set on that job at the nest, 769 00:49:19,323 --> 00:49:22,588 and i ain't seen her this passionate since she played the virgin mary 770 00:49:22,659 --> 00:49:24,388 at the christmas pageant. 771 00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,665 ain't nothing exciting ever gonna happen around here again. 772
00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:38,630 shit! 773 00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:59,525 i want a job here. 774 00:50:00,430 --> 00:50:01,624 done. 775 00:50:03,133 --> 00:50:05,294 i want you take me out tomorrow night. 776 00:50:05,369 --> 00:50:06,700 done. 777 00:50:09,539 --> 00:50:11,905 hey, what's your cellphone number so i can call you. 778 00:50:11,975 --> 00:50:15,433 cellphone? oh, you can reach me by cb. 779 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:19,545 my handle is bo peep. 780 00:50:21,585 --> 00:50:23,519 y'all have a pleasant evening. 781 00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:28,714 you can put your eyeballs back in your head. 782 00:50:37,134 --> 00:50:41,901
shine mart, where the community comes for bull rides, booze and breasts. 783 00:50:41,972 --> 00:50:44,463
that's what i call real family values. 784 00:50:44,841 --> 00:50:47,742
attention, folks. if you drank ugly andy's shine, 785 00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,971
you might want to report to the medic's
tent 'cause you got two minutes to live. 786 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:53,346
but tonight's not all about fun. 787 00:50:53,417 --> 00:50:56,181
this is the dukes' last shot at saving the farm. 788 00:50:56,253 --> 00:50:58,813 nice bouquet. slightly fruity. 789 00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:01,483 burns your balls off. makes you blind. 790 00:51:01,558 --> 00:51:03,219 i'll take six cases. 791 00:51:18,308 --> 00:51:20,242 hey, it's uncle jesse! 792 00:51:22,012 --> 00:51:23,604 yeah, uncle jesse! 793 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:50,304 - cooter! - hey, candy corn 794 00:51:50,407 --> 00:51:54,207 and licorice stick. nicknames. use them or lose them. your choice. 795 00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:56,272 oh, hang on. 796 00:51:57,848 --> 00:52:00,043 she's going to pick a dance partner. 797 00:52:00,584 --> 00:52:02,745 pick me! cooter can dance! 798 00:52:03,353 --> 00:52:05,116 right here! got my hand up! 799
00:52:05,188 --> 00:52:08,646 come on, right here! i'll make you red hot! i'll get you going! 800 00:52:08,758 --> 00:52:11,249 come on! pick me! pick me! pick me! 801 00:52:11,328 --> 00:52:14,354 - have you seen enough? - i think so. 802 00:52:15,499 --> 00:52:16,659 come on. 803 00:52:16,733 --> 00:52:20,726
folks, there's a pickup truck, license plate, shiner sixty-niner. 804 00:52:20,837 --> 00:52:22,304
your lights are on. 805 00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:25,797 red hot! 806 00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,993 you got somebody you want to call? 807 00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:56,439 well, if you weren't right here, i'd call you. 808 00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,908 but since you're right here... 809 00:53:08,118 --> 00:53:09,642 you wanna go inside? 810 00:53:16,593 --> 00:53:20,927 all i want is one taste of that sweet, fiery nectar. 811 00:53:21,164 --> 00:53:23,598 - i know! - come here. i wanna tell y'all something. 812 00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:27,865
first shine mart we had over here, feds come in to bust us, 813 00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:31,665 but they couldn't find no evidence. me and grandpa duke drank it all up. 814 00:53:31,741 --> 00:53:35,677 i was blind for four days. i couldn't see a goddamn thing. 815 00:53:35,745 --> 00:53:37,406 i didn't have no hands, i didn't have no legs. 816 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,107 just kind of floated around for a while. 817 00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:40,809 said they found me the next morning, 818 00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:43,785 i was bumping a six-row cultivator all night long. 819 00:53:45,288 --> 00:53:47,586 so why can't we drink shine? 820 00:53:48,191 --> 00:53:51,718 your folks don't want y'all drinking shine. you can't handle it. 821 00:53:51,828 --> 00:53:54,763 a couple of little cuties there that might want to go for a roll in the hay. 822 00:53:54,831 --> 00:53:57,163 you got my permission to do that if you want to. 823 00:53:57,234 --> 00:53:59,225 and duke 'em one time for uncle jesse. 824 00:53:59,302 --> 00:54:01,998 - you got it, uncle jesse. - thanks, uncle jesse.
825 00:54:05,208 --> 00:54:06,436 i'm waiting. 826 00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:10,440 - how long? - till marriage. 827 00:54:12,649 --> 00:54:14,640 we have to keep our clothes on. 828 00:54:16,019 --> 00:54:18,146 you mean dry-humping? 829 00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:21,014 in layman's terms... 830 00:54:27,197 --> 00:54:30,689 we need a blueprint, a strategy to get inside these girls' hearts 831 00:54:30,767 --> 00:54:32,291 and their pants. 832 00:54:33,737 --> 00:54:35,830 there's those cute boys again. 833 00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:39,108 of course, what about being spontaneous? 834 00:54:39,175 --> 00:54:43,669 just go up, startle them, terrify them, say the first thing that comes to our head. 835 00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:45,408 i can't do that. 836 00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:49,880 if i can ask questions and pretend to listen, 837 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:53,354 then you can go up to ali handy like a commando with a death wish
838 00:54:53,423 --> 00:54:55,550 on his last mission. 839 00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:57,954 - yeah. - go. 840 00:55:00,897 --> 00:55:03,092 ali handy? 841 00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:07,430 me and you is like nitroglycerin and diatomaceous earth. 842 00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:10,971 pure dynamite when combined. 843 00:55:11,608 --> 00:55:15,374 - you care to join me for a bull ride? - no. 844 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,738 i'll watch. 845 00:55:18,948 --> 00:55:22,509 i bet you're pure sex on a bull. 846 00:55:29,859 --> 00:55:31,520 oh, to be young again. 847 00:55:33,596 --> 00:55:35,826 i'd like to ask you a few questions. 848 00:55:36,700 --> 00:55:38,600 ask away, then. 849 00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:44,902 what is all this about alternative energy? 850 00:55:45,742 --> 00:55:48,939 and how do you keep your ass so firm? 851 00:55:50,447 --> 00:55:52,074 want to get comatosed?
852 00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:57,350 so that's what firewater tastes like. good stuff. 853 00:56:06,663 --> 00:56:08,494 that was amazing. 854 00:56:09,265 --> 00:56:11,665 we'll have to try that wet sometime. 855 00:56:12,302 --> 00:56:16,534 - you'll have to put a ring on my finger. - that is incredibly hot. 856 00:56:17,807 --> 00:56:19,331 let's get drunk. 857 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:23,543 - i ain't never got drunk before. - it's a night of firsts, huh? 858 00:56:25,014 --> 00:56:28,506 i heard your uncle makes the best moonshine in the state. 859 00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:32,120 - where did you hear that? - it's a small town. 860 00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:36,747 hey, daisy, you can trust me. 861 00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,522 i'm not like other guys. 862 00:56:41,531 --> 00:56:43,624 you can't tell a soul. 863 00:56:44,801 --> 00:56:46,462 promise? 864 00:56:49,506 --> 00:56:50,632 promise.
865 00:56:50,707 --> 00:56:53,870
something here stinks, and it ain't me. 866 00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:11,921 i'm blind. the damn shine makes you blind. 867 00:57:12,929 --> 00:57:14,920 they've never been drunk before, huh? 868 00:57:14,998 --> 00:57:17,831 like all boys, they've never been a lot of things. 869 00:57:18,134 --> 00:57:21,501 sophisticated, graceful or... 870 00:57:23,173 --> 00:57:25,300 you'll wake the stars. 871 00:57:26,176 --> 00:57:29,043 they're real pretty stars. makes me wanna cry. 872 00:57:29,179 --> 00:57:31,147 hey, let's do another shot. 873 00:57:37,387 --> 00:57:40,618 i swear the boys in this town... 874 00:57:40,824 --> 00:57:42,655 - cops. - cops. 875 00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:56,631 hold it right there, now! 876 00:57:57,507 --> 00:57:59,668 we got a moonshine party, boss. 877 00:58:00,043 --> 00:58:03,240 all right, everybody! hold it! freeze! freeze! 878
00:58:03,446 --> 00:58:05,437 look at them all running. 879 00:58:06,149 --> 00:58:07,582 wilma... 880 00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:12,278 shouldn't you be home with the kids? my, my, my. 881 00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:16,220 all right, y'all want the good news or the bad news first? 882 00:58:16,292 --> 00:58:19,193 well, the good news is this heat spell's supposed to lighten up. 883 00:58:19,262 --> 00:58:23,892 the bad news is you're all going to jail tonight. 884 00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:26,234 - boss? - yeah? 885 00:58:26,436 --> 00:58:29,030 i don't think them duke boys is here, boss. 886 00:58:30,006 --> 00:58:32,497 you ain't ruining my special night, rosco. 887 00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:35,604 now we'll get them, sooner or later. 888 00:58:36,045 --> 00:58:41,005 but for now, this prom queen is going to enjoy his special moment. 889 00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:42,345 excuse me. 890 00:58:45,655 --> 00:58:48,715 'cause the reason is sitting right here. 891
00:58:49,626 --> 00:58:52,094 what in the world's happened to you, j.d.? 892 00:58:52,161 --> 00:58:54,288 oh, no, call me "boss." 893 00:59:00,603 --> 00:59:02,093 where are the girls? 894 00:59:08,444 --> 00:59:11,140 damn it. i still have my underwear on. 895 00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:14,547 man, shine mart was awesome last night. 896 00:59:14,851 --> 00:59:17,012 i don't remember anything about it. 897 00:59:18,421 --> 00:59:20,548 uncle jesse is going to be pissed. 898 00:59:25,828 --> 00:59:29,161 - oh, my god! - i wonder what happened. 899 00:59:29,732 --> 00:59:31,666 we better go find uncle jesse. 900 00:59:37,774 --> 00:59:39,537 look awful nice, girl. 901 00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:44,479 all right, knock it off back there, boys. 902 00:59:47,150 --> 00:59:49,015 i don't know what all the fuss is about. 903 00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:51,280 well, you're missing 99% of your pants. 904 00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:54,323 and the other 1% is covering your magic part. 905
00:59:54,524 --> 00:59:58,426 well, i like the way they make me feel. hughie likes them. 906 00:59:58,494 --> 00:59:59,927 of course he does. 907 01:00:00,063 --> 01:00:02,930 - uncle jesse. - easy there, twiggy. 908 01:00:03,366 --> 01:00:07,632 now, you will keep your hands off the zoo critters. hmm? 909 01:00:07,937 --> 01:00:12,203 now you got five minutes to do what youse gots to do. 910 01:00:14,577 --> 01:00:16,204 we're sorry, uncle jesse. 911 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:18,144 we never should have left you there at shine mart. 912 01:00:18,214 --> 01:00:21,775 then you'd be in jail with me now. i'm sorry i got y'all into this. 913 01:00:21,851 --> 01:00:24,911 - i was a big fool to do that. - so how y'all holding up? 914 01:00:24,988 --> 01:00:27,149 well, these old guys ain't got no business in here. 915 01:00:27,223 --> 01:00:29,350 they got farms and families at home. 916 01:00:29,425 --> 01:00:30,824 well, worry no more. 917 01:00:30,893 --> 01:00:34,021 we have got
a foolproof plan to bust you out. 918 01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:39,427 all right, so i'm going to rig this jail with 500 pounds of military-grade c-4, 919 01:00:39,502 --> 01:00:41,868 blast a hole big enough for the general to drive through... 920 01:00:41,938 --> 01:00:46,875 yeah, yeah, i got you. but why don't you just catch a bus and go back home? 921 01:00:46,943 --> 01:00:49,241 you need to lean on us like we lean on you. 922 01:00:49,312 --> 01:00:51,507 never abandon a fellow runner. 923 01:00:53,449 --> 01:00:55,440 i'll tell you what we might do. 924 01:00:56,019 --> 01:00:58,954 j.d. has got a lot of important papers over at his house. 925 01:00:59,022 --> 01:01:02,423 and i know he's up to something. that would be a good place to start. 926 01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:05,222 'cause once a shiner, always a shiner. 927 01:01:05,294 --> 01:01:07,194 all right. we'll go up there right now. 928 01:01:07,263 --> 01:01:09,128 be careful. don't run in there too quick. 929 01:01:09,198 --> 01:01:11,598 - be smart. - be strong. 930
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:17,902
now why would an old moonshiner like j.d. hogg lock up uncle jesse? 931 01:01:17,974 --> 01:01:22,468
that's what the boys are here to find out. but first they got to distract lulu. 932 01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:25,639
and that's up to luke, and he ain't exactly thrilled. 933 01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:28,650
see, lulu is only distracted by two things. 934 01:01:28,718 --> 01:01:31,949
barbecue and hot, succulent boys. 935 01:01:32,021 --> 01:01:34,421 stop worrying and roll with it. 936 01:01:35,058 --> 01:01:37,253 trust your instincts. 937 01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:40,796 i don't have instincts. i have plans. 938 01:01:41,164 --> 01:01:42,995 at least i used to, until now. 939 01:01:43,066 --> 01:01:45,762 all we got to do is stall lulu for 10 minutes, 940 01:01:45,902 --> 01:01:47,233 then we're gone. 941 01:01:47,336 --> 01:01:50,032 i mean, what could happen in 10 minutes, right? 942 01:01:58,181 --> 01:02:00,615 - hi, boys. - howdy, lulu. 943
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:04,278 - you are looking fine today. - thank you. 944 01:02:08,458 --> 01:02:10,653 can i be your 945 01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:17,963 - special helper? - oh, yes. come. come on. 946 01:02:23,973 --> 01:02:26,942 it was sweet of bo to give us some alone time. 947 01:02:27,076 --> 01:02:30,307 oh, yeah, he's... he's real generous. 948 01:02:33,216 --> 01:02:36,708 you know, you and boss look real happy. 949 01:02:37,053 --> 01:02:39,851 our wedding photo. j.d. neglects me. 950 01:02:40,356 --> 01:02:43,621 he can't help it, though. that's why we never had any kids. 951 01:02:43,993 --> 01:02:47,156 what... you're telling me the most powerful man in hazzard is... 952 01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:48,356 yup. 953 01:02:49,665 --> 01:02:53,624 his testicles shut down the sperm bank and sent all the workers to china. 954 01:02:53,970 --> 01:02:57,997 now, mind if i slip into something more... 955 01:02:59,275 --> 01:03:00,742 comfortable? 956
01:03:01,310 --> 01:03:05,542 i was gonna say boner-inducing, but comfortable is a polite way of putting it. 957 01:03:09,919 --> 01:03:14,879
while luke's learning the fine art of seducing the mentally deranged upstairs, 958 01:03:14,991 --> 01:03:17,687
bo's searching for evidence downstairs. 959 01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:21,691 this is for uncle jesse. 960 01:03:21,898 --> 01:03:24,628 i can do this, man. this is for uncle jesse. 961 01:03:24,700 --> 01:03:26,725 yeah, for uncle jesse. 962 01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:33,031
come to mamacita. come on. 963 01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:43,544 yeah? 964 01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:47,880 luke, is this your first time? 965 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:51,584 first time? oh, i've slept with a thousand women. 966 01:03:51,661 --> 01:03:53,424 - oh, yeah? - of all kinds, too. 967 01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:55,862 sometimes i feel like i work for the un. 968 01:03:55,932 --> 01:03:58,162 and i've done every position. 969 01:03:59,035 --> 01:04:01,003 i've even invented a few myself.
970 01:04:05,875 --> 01:04:07,502 boss, you fiend. 971 01:04:09,011 --> 01:04:11,206 first time? that's funny. 972 01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:14,113 well, honey, you're more fidgety than a queer rooster 973 01:04:14,183 --> 01:04:16,481 in an undersexed henhouse, huh? 974 01:04:16,552 --> 01:04:19,020 look, if you wanna take a breather and go downstairs, 975 01:04:19,088 --> 01:04:20,146 we can go get bo. 976 01:04:20,223 --> 01:04:22,282 no, no! i want you now. 977 01:04:22,358 --> 01:04:24,087 oh, oh, luke. 978 01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:27,286
looks like j.d.'s serious 979 01:04:27,363 --> 01:04:30,298
about replacing beers with milkshakes. 980 01:04:30,366 --> 01:04:32,994
then again, things ain't always what they seem. 981 01:04:33,069 --> 01:04:35,230
that's the golden rule in hazzard. 982 01:04:45,548 --> 01:04:46,640 you shut the door one more time, 983 01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:50,311
i'll marinate you, grill you and eat your ass for supper. goodbye! 984 01:04:52,255 --> 01:04:53,779 luke. 985 01:04:53,856 --> 01:04:54,948 luke! 986 01:04:55,157 --> 01:04:56,647
you are going to die! 987 01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:57,988
luke, come in! 988 01:04:58,127 --> 01:05:03,030 lulu, my steamed dumpling! big daddy trouble's home! 989 01:05:04,367 --> 01:05:08,133 damn! what's going on? oh, you duke boys are in trouble now! 990 01:05:09,472 --> 01:05:10,734
pull out! 991 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:12,702 pull out! 992 01:05:14,010 --> 01:05:16,035 big daddy trouble's coming, lulu! 993 01:05:16,112 --> 01:05:19,172 - oh, big daddy trouble, save me, save me! - now, big daddy trouble, 994 01:05:19,248 --> 01:05:20,943 i was just paying miss hogg here a friendly visit. 995 01:05:21,017 --> 01:05:24,453 oh, you're gonna pay a friendly visit to the emergency room. 996 01:05:26,489 --> 01:05:27,786
oh, my... 997 01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:30,351 come on, luke! 998 01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:33,387 come back and see me again! 999 01:05:34,397 --> 01:05:36,365 rosco, i'm being invaded by dukes! 1000 01:05:41,971 --> 01:05:44,303 you messing with me, boys, huh? 1001 01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,342 take that for coming after with my wife! 1002 01:05:48,411 --> 01:05:49,776 luke! 1003 01:05:50,012 --> 01:05:51,070 i'm coming, boss. 1004 01:05:51,147 --> 01:05:52,478 good, rosco, quick! 1005 01:05:52,548 --> 01:05:55,244 get after them, them duke boys. you won't believe what happened! 1006 01:05:55,318 --> 01:05:57,980 put the dog down, take my car, go after them! 1007 01:05:58,521 --> 01:06:02,184 - you were gonna leave me again! - you forgot to fill the tank again. 1008 01:06:03,592 --> 01:06:05,719 - i'm coming for you boys! - oh, man! 1009 01:06:11,267 --> 01:06:12,564 move over!
1010 01:06:16,605 --> 01:06:17,902 oh, i'm ready now. 1011 01:06:17,974 --> 01:06:19,202 what is that? 1012 01:06:19,275 --> 01:06:20,799 shit-shine ball. 1013 01:06:30,753 --> 01:06:31,845 shit! 1014 01:06:34,657 --> 01:06:37,091 i'm backing, i'm backing, i'm backing! 1015 01:06:37,159 --> 01:06:38,626 keep your eyes on the road! 1016 01:06:38,694 --> 01:06:40,889 eyes? who needs eyes? 1017 01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,594 whoa! "vote for boss?" 1018 01:06:50,506 --> 01:06:52,167 lean to the left! lean to the left! 1019 01:06:52,241 --> 01:06:53,868 drive somewhere! 1020 01:06:54,877 --> 01:06:56,344 that was fast! 1021 01:06:56,779 --> 01:06:57,768 go! 1022 01:06:58,814 --> 01:06:59,940 they're getting... 1023 01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:01,142 rosco! 1024 01:07:02,752 --> 01:07:04,515
st. peter, i'm here. 1025 01:07:05,654 --> 01:07:07,554 rosco! what are you doing? 1026 01:07:07,623 --> 01:07:11,855 they'll be drinking margaritas in mexico by the time you finish with your nap! 1027 01:07:12,028 --> 01:07:16,328 flash had a little puppy meatloaf, boss. 1028 01:07:16,399 --> 01:07:19,960 that's the sickest thing i've seen today. get this thing cleaned up! 1029 01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:23,403 god! good lord! 1030 01:07:33,249 --> 01:07:36,218 so, this is awkward. 1031 01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:39,980 this day never happened, all right? 1032 01:07:40,456 --> 01:07:42,481 if someone ask us what happened on this day, 1033 01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:45,254 we'll say, "that's the day we went bowling!" 1034 01:07:45,327 --> 01:07:48,558 and not the day that lulu hogg rode you like a minotaur? 1035 01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:50,429 exactly. 1036 01:07:50,499 --> 01:07:51,625 not that day. 1037 01:07:51,700 --> 01:07:53,895
got your ears on, lost sheep?
1038 01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:58,006 got our ears on and eyes peeled. 1039 01:07:58,074 --> 01:08:00,838
listen, fellas, something strange is going on here. 1040 01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:04,004
i saw boxes being delivered by armed deputies. 1041 01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,106
sort of odd in a place where lemon sorbet is on the menu. 1042 01:08:07,183 --> 01:08:09,447 hang on, daisy, we'll be there later. 1043 01:08:10,486 --> 01:08:12,954 first, we gotta dress up for the occasion. 1044 01:08:21,363 --> 01:08:22,523 rosco. 1045 01:08:23,199 --> 01:08:25,167 you still stink. 1046 01:08:25,234 --> 01:08:28,362 you stink so bad, your kids' kids are gonna stink, 1047 01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:31,235 if anyone'll procreate with you, which i doubt. 1048 01:08:31,307 --> 01:08:35,266 now, come on, boss, i did my very, very best. 1049 01:08:35,344 --> 01:08:39,212 rosco, if i want advice on letting criminals escape, 1050 01:08:39,281 --> 01:08:40,680
i'll call you. 1051 01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:42,008 calm down. 1052 01:08:42,084 --> 01:08:47,454 them dukes. they assaulted my boar, they violated the sanctity of my home, 1053 01:08:47,523 --> 01:08:50,151 and they molested my tender flower of a wife. 1054 01:08:50,226 --> 01:08:52,524 oh, yeah, boss, i can picture it now. 1055 01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:56,497 their greasy little fingers running all over her hot buttocks 1056 01:08:56,565 --> 01:08:59,693 like a chubby kid looking for chicken wings in the bottom of a basket. 1057 01:08:59,768 --> 01:09:00,928 rosco! 1058 01:09:01,737 --> 01:09:05,605 you dummy, i don't wanna imagine the circumstance. 1059 01:09:06,108 --> 01:09:07,598 i want them in jail! 1060 01:09:08,010 --> 01:09:10,001 can you do that? can you just... 1061 01:09:10,079 --> 01:09:13,810 i got enough worries with my ice cream parlor investors. 1062 01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:15,612 just add more deputies. 1063 01:09:15,684 --> 01:09:18,016
do whatever it takes. i can't rest 1064 01:09:18,087 --> 01:09:21,488 until their gonads are scattered to the four corners of hazzard. 1065 01:09:22,858 --> 01:09:25,725
hazzard's a place where dreams do come true. 1066 01:09:25,794 --> 01:09:28,991
bo and luke got famous. just the wrong way. 1067 01:09:29,298 --> 01:09:31,095
enos finally got deputized. 1068 01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:34,568
a hall monitor with a gun. lord save us. 1069 01:09:36,772 --> 01:09:41,368
with their faces plastered all over town, the boys figured they needed a makeover. 1070 01:09:41,544 --> 01:09:44,012 why the hell do i have to wear the skirt? 1071 01:09:44,313 --> 01:09:46,838 because you have nicer legs. 1072 01:09:46,916 --> 01:09:47,940 thank you. 1073 01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:51,885
no way to sugarcoat it, they make damn fine-looking women. 1074 01:09:51,954 --> 01:09:54,081 get over and talk to them right now, you hear me, boy? 1075 01:09:54,156 --> 01:09:55,248 all right. 1076 01:09:55,491 --> 01:09:56,856
excuse me. 1077 01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:00,594 you ladies don't look like you're from around here. 1078 01:10:00,663 --> 01:10:02,324 - can i help? - yes... 1079 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:06,000 i'm detective amanda smith 1080 01:10:06,068 --> 01:10:09,333 and this is my partner, anita davington. 1081 01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:12,906 we're with the federal bureau of frozen delights, 1082 01:10:12,975 --> 01:10:15,671 and we are conducting an investigation. 1083 01:10:15,744 --> 01:10:17,268 federal agents? 1084 01:10:18,614 --> 01:10:20,411 i'm deputy enos strate. 1085 01:10:20,482 --> 01:10:23,679 you know, you ought to talk to daisy. 1086 01:10:24,620 --> 01:10:25,985 she's real nice. 1087 01:10:26,555 --> 01:10:28,284 here she comes now. 1088 01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:33,921 if you need any further assistance, just give me a holler. 1089 01:10:38,167 --> 01:10:40,965 here's the key to boss hogg's office.
1090 01:10:42,271 --> 01:10:45,104 now, hold on there one minute, little lady. 1091 01:10:45,874 --> 01:10:50,675 failure to dance with the sheriff is a crime here in hazzard county, 1092 01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:54,978 punishable by 10 years in a maximum-security prison. 1093 01:10:56,018 --> 01:10:59,078 now, my ex, she chucked this old poon hound to the curb 1094 01:10:59,154 --> 01:11:02,783 like a perp charged on indecent exposure, 1095 01:11:02,858 --> 01:11:07,022 failure to communicate, and wagon wheels on a wing nut. 1096 01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:14,365 she thinks upholding the law is the only thing i care about. 1097 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:18,938 but i do have my other passions. 1098 01:11:21,877 --> 01:11:23,606 don't get fresh, sheriff. 1099 01:11:24,980 --> 01:11:26,004 oh, my. 1100 01:11:27,216 --> 01:11:30,151 you have a grip like an anaconda. 1101 01:11:31,153 --> 01:11:33,781 i bet you could swallow me whole, too. 1102 01:11:42,665 --> 01:11:44,064 come on, let's go. 1103
01:11:45,434 --> 01:11:46,833
the boys' wigs got them in. 1104 01:11:46,902 --> 01:11:50,770
but it was time to leave the distracting work to a professional. 1105 01:11:50,839 --> 01:11:55,105
you ain't never gonna look at a sundae the same way again. 1106 01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:56,437 oh, baby. 1107 01:11:56,512 --> 01:11:57,570 oh, my. 1108 01:12:01,283 --> 01:12:03,183 yeah, that's cold, all right. 1109 01:12:04,286 --> 01:12:05,753 cool me down. 1110 01:12:19,702 --> 01:12:20,896 sweet. 1111 01:12:25,407 --> 01:12:27,671 rosco shouldn't treat a lady like that. 1112 01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:31,406 - now you're a lady? - no, but i should be treated like one. 1113 01:12:31,480 --> 01:12:33,345 oh, man, these hose are killing me. 1114 01:12:38,687 --> 01:12:40,211 man, that's hot. 1115 01:13:02,578 --> 01:13:04,273 hey, look, look at that. 1116 01:13:12,421 --> 01:13:14,048 well, how's it coming with the investors?
1117 01:13:14,123 --> 01:13:16,182 it's just a matter of time before the other commissioners 1118 01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:17,748 turn the whole state dry. 1119 01:13:17,826 --> 01:13:20,920 no one resists the hogg, john, including daisy duke. 1120 01:13:21,463 --> 01:13:23,556 it was a lot more fun finding out about their still 1121 01:13:23,632 --> 01:13:26,863 from that hot piece of tail than those hillbillies, bo and luke. 1122 01:13:26,935 --> 01:13:30,371 in less than 24 hours, we are foreclosing on that duke farm 1123 01:13:30,439 --> 01:13:32,066 and take that still. 1124 01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:34,769 then you'll add your premium shine. 1125 01:13:34,843 --> 01:13:37,971 you know, before you go on your rounds in the morning, 1126 01:13:38,046 --> 01:13:41,573 stop by the boar's nest. i got a present for my favorite nephew. 1127 01:13:41,884 --> 01:13:43,249 hughie's a hogg. 1128 01:13:48,056 --> 01:13:50,047 - daisy. - oh, daisy. 1129 01:13:50,125 --> 01:13:51,251
daisy, wait! 1130 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:57,228 - i can't believe what a jerk he is! - daisy, wait! 1131 01:13:58,066 --> 01:13:59,897 i know you wanna wrap your thighs around his chest 1132 01:13:59,968 --> 01:14:01,060 and squeeze the air out of him, 1133 01:14:01,136 --> 01:14:02,433 so do i. 1134 01:14:02,504 --> 01:14:04,404 but we cannot let him know we're on to him. 1135 01:14:04,473 --> 01:14:07,533 we gotta follow hughie and see where he takes us, okay? 1136 01:14:08,510 --> 01:14:10,774 - i'll kill him with my bare hands! - no, daisy! 1137 01:14:10,846 --> 01:14:13,337 you'll get your chance with hughie. 1138 01:14:13,482 --> 01:14:17,441 right now, we gotta think about uncle jesse. 1139 01:14:20,889 --> 01:14:22,356 sorry, daisy. 1140 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:26,322 they have messed with me at the wrong time of the month. 1141 01:14:27,696 --> 01:14:29,391
here's what we know so far. 1142
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:32,992
hughie's a no-good, two-faced hogg and boss is still in the shine business. 1143 01:14:33,068 --> 01:14:35,093
with everybody locked up and the state going dry, 1144 01:14:35,170 --> 01:14:37,604
there'll be one place in town to get good and hammered, 1145 01:14:37,673 --> 01:14:39,698
the boar's nest ice cream parlor. 1146 01:14:39,775 --> 01:14:42,801
hogg will make a killing, but bo and luke are hoping handsome hughie 1147 01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:45,972
will lead them right to boss's shine stash so they can stop him. 1148 01:14:46,048 --> 01:14:47,515
do you follow? 1149 01:14:47,583 --> 01:14:50,279
i never said this was going to be easy. 1150 01:14:53,422 --> 01:14:55,549 we'll lose him if he gets too far ahead! 1151 01:14:55,624 --> 01:14:56,818 i can't get too close. 1152 01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:59,087 driving's second nature to me, luke. 1153 01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,995 orange car. smart pick, boys, smart pick. 1154 01:15:11,039 --> 01:15:13,371 - what the hell? - i can't see anything. 1155
01:15:13,442 --> 01:15:15,433 hughie is burning some dust. 1156 01:15:20,949 --> 01:15:23,850 i can feel the road. snake coming. 1157 01:15:23,919 --> 01:15:25,546 you can feel the road? 1158 01:15:25,621 --> 01:15:27,589 oh! damn it, bo, be careful! 1159 01:15:27,656 --> 01:15:29,419 i got it! i got it! 1160 01:15:35,430 --> 01:15:37,489 - oh, shit! - shit! 1161 01:15:47,075 --> 01:15:48,303 oh, man! 1162 01:15:50,846 --> 01:15:54,145 beautiful driving. you know, you come a long way. 1163 01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:55,945 your instincts are worthless. 1164 01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:58,612 - i thought i had him. - oh, you lost him. 1165 01:15:58,687 --> 01:16:01,884 you lost our best chance of nailing boss and getting uncle jesse out. 1166 01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:06,291 plan all you want, but somebody's gotta actually drive and do something. 1167 01:16:06,929 --> 01:16:11,263 so you're the smart one, congrats. what'd that get us, huh? 1168
01:16:11,333 --> 01:16:14,359 you know i should have left you at the farm that first night. 1169 01:16:14,436 --> 01:16:16,836 now i'm stuck here with an idiot. 1170 01:16:18,473 --> 01:16:19,497 i'm gone. 1171 01:16:22,110 --> 01:16:23,907 that's what you're good at. 1172 01:16:24,012 --> 01:16:25,604 leaving people behind. 1173 01:16:26,114 --> 01:16:28,639 go! no one's gonna miss you. 1174 01:16:30,619 --> 01:16:32,746 now maybe i can finally get laid. 1175 01:16:35,190 --> 01:16:36,521
you know something ain't right 1176 01:16:36,592 --> 01:16:39,527
when bo kicks the thing he loves most in the world. 1177 01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:43,929
in fact, i'd say there ain't a whole lot that is right in hazzard at the moment. 1178 01:16:46,735 --> 01:16:48,225
poor uncle jesse, 1179 01:16:48,303 --> 01:16:52,137
just sitting in the clink wishing he was on the farm he loves. 1180 01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:55,935
poor hot, juicy daisy. 1181 01:16:56,011 --> 01:16:58,411
first, hughie foreclosed on her heart,
1182 01:16:58,480 --> 01:17:00,846
then rosco foreclosed on the farm. 1183 01:17:17,399 --> 01:17:22,234
and so, things didn't turn out exactly like we hoped for the dukes. 1184 01:17:23,071 --> 01:17:25,471
ain't that the way life is sometimes? 1185 01:17:25,807 --> 01:17:27,900 thanks! thanks a lot! 1186 01:17:35,951 --> 01:17:38,715 oh, i got it. i got it, bo! 1187 01:18:40,015 --> 01:18:42,006 i can't follow you, luke. 1188 01:18:42,684 --> 01:18:44,652 i can't cross that line. 1189 01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:48,280 i love hazzard. 1190 01:18:48,857 --> 01:18:51,121 i love my hair in the hazzard sun. 1191 01:18:51,193 --> 01:18:54,060 i love daisy and uncle jesse. 1192 01:18:54,129 --> 01:18:56,996 i love the smell of pig shit in the morning. 1193 01:18:57,566 --> 01:19:01,161 i love the feel of the general lee's hood on my tight, toned butt. 1194 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:06,063 let's forget that all happened, all right? 1195 01:19:07,309 --> 01:19:10,210 heat of the moment.
it'll never happen again. 1196 01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:16,479 - that truck wasn't cold. - what truck? 1197 01:19:16,551 --> 01:19:20,954 a hogg ice cream truck just drove by. i hit it with my hand and it was warm. 1198 01:19:21,056 --> 01:19:24,856 it's kind of hard to keep ice cream cold with a truck with no freezer. 1199 01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:30,429 okay, i really am the good-looking one. explain. 1200 01:19:30,499 --> 01:19:34,560 hogg's using the truck to transport shine. it's a cover. 1201 01:19:34,636 --> 01:19:36,900 and i bet i know where he's keeping that shine. 1202 01:19:36,972 --> 01:19:39,736 hogg's ravine, the ice cream factory! 1203 01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:44,841 come on. let's go find daisy and cooter. 1204 01:19:46,281 --> 01:19:48,613 the farm belongs to boss at noon. 1205 01:19:48,683 --> 01:19:50,947 that doesn't give us much time. 1206 01:19:51,019 --> 01:19:55,319 - i'm so stupid for falling for hughie. - you're not stupid, daisy. 1207 01:19:55,390 --> 01:19:57,858 you're the smartest person i know. 1208
01:19:58,627 --> 01:20:00,527 he made me feel pretty. 1209 01:20:00,862 --> 01:20:04,491 you don't need some big city jackass to tell you you're pretty. 1210 01:20:04,566 --> 01:20:05,590 yeah. 1211 01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:08,158 hell, luke and i wanted to get nasty with you several times 1212 01:20:08,236 --> 01:20:10,704 till we realized you were our cousin. 1213 01:20:11,072 --> 01:20:13,563 actually, that didn't even matter to luke. 1214 01:20:15,010 --> 01:20:16,409 it's true. 1215 01:20:17,078 --> 01:20:18,568 thanks, boys. 1216 01:20:19,347 --> 01:20:21,315 so what are we gonna do? 1217 01:20:21,383 --> 01:20:24,841 we are gonna get boss to pay for the farm out of his own pocket. 1218 01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:26,945 and why would he do that? 1219 01:20:27,923 --> 01:20:31,120
nothing prettier than a good plan coming together amongst friends. 1220 01:20:31,193 --> 01:20:36,221
i know y'all are anxious to hear about it, but that'd ruin the surprise. 1221 01:20:36,898 --> 01:20:38,832
well, it ain't perfect. 1222 01:20:39,601 --> 01:20:41,398 the general's hurt. 1223 01:20:42,637 --> 01:20:45,538 i can't believe i'm gonna let you leave with the seats all torn. 1224 01:20:45,607 --> 01:20:47,302 it breaks my damn heart. 1225 01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:51,635 and hopefully, she'll last long enough for us to do what we gotta do. 1226 01:20:52,380 --> 01:20:54,109 hope's all we got. 1227 01:20:54,649 --> 01:20:56,480 hope and a prayer. 1228 01:20:57,886 --> 01:20:58,944 and a dream. 1229 01:20:59,020 --> 01:21:01,989 - hope and a prayer and a dream. - okay, we got it, cooter. 1230 01:21:02,057 --> 01:21:03,752 - thank you, buddy. - okay. 1231 01:21:04,259 --> 01:21:05,624 be careful. 1232 01:21:08,763 --> 01:21:10,663
election day in hazzard, 1233 01:21:10,732 --> 01:21:12,700
where folks are expected to vote early 1234 01:21:12,767 --> 01:21:15,702
and vote often for jefferson davis hogg.
1235 01:21:16,671 --> 01:21:19,640 what a beautiful day for democracy here in hazzard. 1236 01:21:21,509 --> 01:21:22,567
here's part one of the plan. 1237 01:21:22,644 --> 01:21:25,738
y'all are gonna see what they mean by beauty and brains. 1238 01:21:25,814 --> 01:21:26,940 hi, deputy. 1239 01:21:29,451 --> 01:21:31,612 anything exciting happening? 1240 01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:35,248 i don't really get to leave the station, so this is... 1241 01:21:35,323 --> 01:21:39,521 well, i bet there's a lot of important police business here. 1242 01:21:40,161 --> 01:21:43,528 - wanna show me around? - oh, yes, please. 1243 01:21:48,169 --> 01:21:51,661 every voter is going to get a coupon good for $1 .00 off 1244 01:21:51,740 --> 01:21:53,935 at hogg's car wash and delicatessen. 1245 01:21:55,343 --> 01:21:57,140 let's get high on the hogg! 1246 01:21:57,345 --> 01:21:59,745
part two, cooter's no philosopher, 1247 01:21:59,814 --> 01:22:02,840
but he can handle a tow truck with the grace of a figure skater.
1248 01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,943 now all the commissioners here, 1249 01:22:05,020 --> 01:22:08,387 we've gotten together and they've seen how we're living in hazzard. 1250 01:22:08,456 --> 01:22:11,323 it's pure, simple, it's good. 1251 01:22:11,893 --> 01:22:14,885 one hand on the bible, the other hand on the plow. 1252 01:22:15,664 --> 01:22:21,068 that's why we've all banded together to turn our glorious state dry. 1253 01:22:21,870 --> 01:22:25,567 now, this is just the beginning of a program that i... 1254 01:22:27,242 --> 01:22:31,303
part three, bo, luke and the general lee. 1255 01:22:31,379 --> 01:22:34,507
the perfect marriage of men and machine. 1256 01:22:35,350 --> 01:22:39,343 well, if it ain't the duke boys come to turn themself in! 1257 01:22:39,421 --> 01:22:40,649 rosco... 1258 01:22:40,922 --> 01:22:42,082
now, cooter. 1259 01:22:43,992 --> 01:22:45,118 what the... 1260 01:22:51,299 --> 01:22:52,732 oh, boy, are you all right?
1261 01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:54,029 howdy, boss. 1262 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:58,064 oh, you dukes are gonna face the firing squad for this. 1263 01:22:58,139 --> 01:22:59,367 get in. 1264 01:23:00,842 --> 01:23:02,070 go, bo. 1265 01:23:06,381 --> 01:23:07,609
attention all units. 1266 01:23:07,682 --> 01:23:12,483
two male suspects driving a kick-ass orange '69 charger 1267 01:23:12,554 --> 01:23:15,580
are believed to have kidnapped commissioner hogg. 1268 01:23:15,657 --> 01:23:17,750
all units respond. 1269 01:23:18,526 --> 01:23:20,289 enjoy the sunny day. 1270 01:23:29,938 --> 01:23:32,338 this here is the emergency broadcast system. 1271 01:23:32,407 --> 01:23:35,001 in case of emergency, i get on the horn, 1272 01:23:35,076 --> 01:23:38,273 they send me in there, or i make the call, i mean... 1273 01:23:38,346 --> 01:23:40,507 i ain't never seen one of these before. 1274
01:23:40,582 --> 01:23:43,551 i don't think you should be playing with that, daisy. 1275 01:23:44,052 --> 01:23:48,216 - enos, hand me that screwdriver. - yes, ma'am. 1276 01:23:58,666 --> 01:24:00,600 you can slow down any time you want! 1277 01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:02,033 we got no reason to live! 1278 01:24:02,103 --> 01:24:05,129 you've taken the farm from us, locked up my uncle jesse, 1279 01:24:05,206 --> 01:24:06,434 now you got us on the run. 1280 01:24:06,508 --> 01:24:08,942 you plowed my wife's field you sexual miscreant. 1281 01:24:09,010 --> 01:24:10,136 you should burn at the stake! 1282 01:24:10,211 --> 01:24:12,475 we'd rather be the famous outlaws 1283 01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:14,378 that died in a police chase. 1284 01:24:16,351 --> 01:24:19,252 unless you tell us about your shine business! 1285 01:24:19,320 --> 01:24:21,788 that's a good one! i ain't telling you dukes a thing! 1286 01:24:21,856 --> 01:24:24,791 it's either jail or the cemetery for two no-good bums like you.
1287 01:24:24,859 --> 01:24:27,350 guess we'll take the cemetery, then! 1288 01:24:47,515 --> 01:24:48,641 yeah! 1289 01:24:51,553 --> 01:24:53,487 those darn duke boys. 1290 01:24:54,055 --> 01:24:56,250 it don't get any better than this! 1291 01:25:06,267 --> 01:25:07,859 we got them now! 1292 01:25:11,873 --> 01:25:16,503 this is rosco p. coltrane, and i'm in hot pursuit of them duke boys. 1293 01:25:22,617 --> 01:25:24,175 he shot us! 1294 01:25:26,921 --> 01:25:28,889 "protect and serve," my ass! 1295 01:25:31,793 --> 01:25:32,851 hot damn! 1296 01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:36,559 get their tires! don't shoot me, you stupid... 1297 01:25:36,865 --> 01:25:39,095 hot damn! i'm alive! 1298 01:25:49,911 --> 01:25:51,378 what are you doing? 1299 01:25:52,814 --> 01:25:54,247 wait! you ain't gonna do it! 1300 01:25:54,315 --> 01:25:58,308 boss, you got anything you'd like to say to your maker, now's a good time.
1301 01:25:59,587 --> 01:26:00,952 you ready, daisy? 1302 01:26:01,256 --> 01:26:02,951 10-4. go for it, luke. 1303 01:26:04,692 --> 01:26:06,057 you're bluffing! 1304 01:26:07,695 --> 01:26:09,219 don't do it! no! 1305 01:26:14,969 --> 01:26:15,958 what... 1306 01:26:20,575 --> 01:26:22,042 getting close, boss. 1307 01:26:26,381 --> 01:26:31,512 okay! okay, i... i locked up your uncle so i could... 1308 01:26:31,653 --> 01:26:34,952 so i could run a monopoly, shine monopoly out of the boar's nest, see? 1309 01:26:35,023 --> 01:26:37,719
- then i'd watch these normal people... - he's a pig! 1310 01:26:37,792 --> 01:26:40,090
...spending their hard-earned dollars! 1311 01:26:40,995 --> 01:26:42,223 decent people 1312 01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:46,256
spending their money there! are you happy? 1313 01:26:46,401 --> 01:26:48,596
are you happy? is that a crime? 1314
01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:53,371
you boys did it! everyone in town heard boss. 1315 01:26:53,441 --> 01:26:55,841 why, you dirty, filthy, conniving dukes! 1316 01:26:56,110 --> 01:26:59,477 well, it don't matter, though. you need a little thing called evidence. 1317 01:26:59,547 --> 01:27:01,139 then we got one more thing to do! 1318 01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:02,843 no you don't! no you don't! 1319 01:27:02,917 --> 01:27:03,906 no! 1320 01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:09,014
they're heading back for the ravine! they're gonna die! 1321 01:27:09,724 --> 01:27:12,249 jump that already! jump it! 1322 01:27:48,696 --> 01:27:49,822 damn! 1323 01:27:57,038 --> 01:27:59,006
kind of a nifty plan, huh? 1324 01:27:59,073 --> 01:28:02,531
see, the boys just found boss hogg's shine operation. 1325 01:28:02,610 --> 01:28:04,339
you know what that means. 1326 01:28:05,213 --> 01:28:06,805 excuse me. 1327 01:28:12,053 --> 01:28:14,248
i hope boss brought his checkbook.
1328 01:28:16,257 --> 01:28:17,554 oh, boy. 1329 01:28:21,863 --> 01:28:24,627
folks were mighty tired of all the shenanigans. 1330 01:28:24,699 --> 01:28:27,532
so, boss was forced to let the shiners go. 1331 01:28:27,969 --> 01:28:30,335 whoa! hey. 1332 01:28:30,505 --> 01:28:32,370 well, well, well. 1333 01:28:33,241 --> 01:28:36,972 looks like little bluebird is ready to fly. 1334 01:28:37,045 --> 01:28:38,945 - hey. - hey! 1335 01:28:39,147 --> 01:28:41,513 it's the boys and the girl. how are you? 1336 01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:44,209 you know, your folks sent y'all down here to learn to be gentlemen, 1337 01:28:44,285 --> 01:28:46,583 you wind up breaking the law, running shine 1338 01:28:46,654 --> 01:28:48,986 and doing a damn good job of it, too, i might add. 1339 01:28:49,057 --> 01:28:51,218 let's blow this pop stand, come on. 1340 01:28:52,593 --> 01:28:54,424 you good-for-nothing.
1341 01:28:58,633 --> 01:29:00,828 take it all in, hughie 1342 01:29:00,902 --> 01:29:04,702 'cause they don't serve anything this fine in here. 1343 01:29:07,975 --> 01:29:10,170 oh, wait, wait, wait. no, no. 1344 01:29:10,278 --> 01:29:13,145 daisy, i'm available for conjugal visits. daisy! 1345 01:29:13,948 --> 01:29:16,508
and since someone needed to take the fall, 1346 01:29:16,584 --> 01:29:20,350
boss set up hughie as his personal humpty dumpty. 1347 01:29:34,335 --> 01:29:35,563 on one... 1348 01:29:36,204 --> 01:29:39,367
the voters weren't too happy when they learned what hogg was up to. 1349 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:41,465
so they saw fit to elect a better man. 1350 01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,169
an honest man. 1351 01:29:43,244 --> 01:29:45,940
a dead man. 1352 01:29:46,247 --> 01:29:49,546
turned out the shock of winning was too much for old man abernathy. 1353 01:29:49,617 --> 01:29:51,608
may he rest in peace.
1354 01:29:51,753 --> 01:29:56,213
so the voters, in their infinite wisdom, put boss back in office, 1355 01:29:56,290 --> 01:29:59,123
figuring the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. 1356 01:29:59,193 --> 01:30:00,683 get your hand off of there now. 1357 01:30:00,762 --> 01:30:04,789
his first official act was to pardon himself of all wrongdoing. 1358 01:30:05,800 --> 01:30:09,429
boss regretted offering that reward for uncovering shine. 1359 01:30:09,504 --> 01:30:11,631
he figured nobody'd ever catch on to him. 1360 01:30:11,706 --> 01:30:14,368
then, again, he never figured on bo and luke. 1361 01:30:14,442 --> 01:30:17,275
they used the reward to buy back the farm. 1362 01:30:20,815 --> 01:30:25,650
bo finally found someone who appreciated his particular driving skills. 1363 01:30:27,388 --> 01:30:29,413 wait! did i pass? 1364 01:30:34,896 --> 01:30:36,420 - yes! - yeah! 1365 01:30:38,866 --> 01:30:42,962
while luke found the one gal impressed by a fella who can blow shit up. 1366
01:30:49,343 --> 01:30:52,335
looks like he'll finally lose his virginity, 1367 01:30:53,347 --> 01:30:56,578
and to someone who doesn't sexually abuse poultry. 1368 01:31:00,455 --> 01:31:03,583
uncle jesse told the kids he was quitting the shine business 1369 01:31:03,658 --> 01:31:06,855
to spend the rest of his days as a simple farmer. 1370 01:31:07,728 --> 01:31:10,026
they should have known that didn't smell right. 1371 01:31:10,097 --> 01:31:12,759
once a shiner, always a shiner. 1372 01:31:12,834 --> 01:31:14,802 race you to the general! 1373 01:31:16,704 --> 01:31:18,171 hey, where y'all going? 1374 01:31:18,239 --> 01:31:20,469 - we'll be back! - don't wait up! 1375 01:31:22,043 --> 01:31:23,533
you know the moment in your life 1376 01:31:23,611 --> 01:31:27,672
when you realize you're exactly where you're meant to be? 1377 01:31:27,748 --> 01:31:31,240
hazzard's a place where two good old boys with a fast car 1378 01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:34,379
can really make a name for themselves.
1379 01:31:53,307 --> 01:31:55,571 - floor it, bo. floor it! - damn! 1380 01:32:00,882 --> 01:32:02,213 all right! 1381 01:32:19,600 --> 01:32:21,761 i don't understand what's going on. 1382 01:32:25,139 --> 01:32:27,937 those duke sons of bitches! 1383 01:32:29,043 --> 01:32:30,374 oh, shit! 1384 01:32:31,579 --> 01:32:34,844 well, you dirty son of a bitch... 1385 01:32:35,616 --> 01:32:37,550 cut, cut, cut, cut. 1386 01:32:38,119 --> 01:32:40,849 you two sure are pretty. 1387 01:32:48,429 --> 01:32:50,920 stop hanging around, you little monkey. 1388 01:32:51,065 --> 01:32:53,465 fucking around is all i ever care about. 1389 01:32:57,305 --> 01:32:58,772 we didn't wanna hit your dog. 1390 01:32:58,839 --> 01:33:03,867 was i talking to you there, circle of life, golden hair, zebra-eating freak? 1391 01:33:04,912 --> 01:33:06,072 rosco! 1392 01:33:06,147 --> 01:33:07,842 flash had a little
1393 01:33:09,150 --> 01:33:10,549 chip wiggle, boss. 1394 01:33:14,689 --> 01:33:17,817 was i talking to you, blueberry cobbler ass? 1395 01:33:21,729 --> 01:33:23,720 - gonads scattered in a... - stop. 1396 01:33:24,098 --> 01:33:25,156 stop it right there. 1397 01:33:25,232 --> 01:33:28,258 i love grease and scattered gonads, boss. 1398 01:33:31,005 --> 01:33:32,905 come on! come here, come here. 1399 01:33:32,974 --> 01:33:35,033 you hide behind those pigtails and those braces. 1400 01:33:35,109 --> 01:33:37,600 come on, come on! i can take her! 1401 01:33:37,812 --> 01:33:39,211 you got two weeks, 1402 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:41,714 then i'm sending rosco out to foreclose on the farm. 1403 01:33:41,782 --> 01:33:43,716 and you call yourself a mason. 1404 01:33:44,652 --> 01:33:45,983 yes, i do. 1405 01:33:51,025 --> 01:33:54,620 that's the sickest thing i've seen today. get this thing cleaned up! 1406
01:33:54,695 --> 01:33:57,255 we cleaning, boss, we cleaning. 1407 01:33:58,666 --> 01:34:03,103 when you say shine, your eyes go all buggy like a retarded dragonfly. 1408 01:34:04,905 --> 01:34:08,705 hey, can i drive, uncle jesse? i just got my learner's permit. 1409 01:34:12,546 --> 01:34:14,446 looks like you got a little more learning to do. 1410 01:34:14,515 --> 01:34:16,574 besides that, that ain't my car. 1411 01:34:18,519 --> 01:34:24,048 god, you don't have to push me around like a dirty, fat kid... 1412 01:34:25,026 --> 01:34:26,926 that's a scary-ass pig. 1413 01:34:27,995 --> 01:34:30,463 it's really funny until you have your hand chewed off. 1414 01:34:30,531 --> 01:34:32,192 all right, this is just for the outtakes. 1415 01:34:32,266 --> 01:34:33,494 the cemetery. 1416 01:34:33,567 --> 01:34:36,593 you might wanna try some of that mouth to snout while you're down here. 1417 01:34:36,671 --> 01:34:38,639 come on, flash, honey. 1418 01:34:38,706 --> 01:34:43,336 let's go get some little greeny-weenies, some chinese schoolboys.
1419 01:34:44,612 --> 01:34:46,512 oh, no, call me "boss." 1420 01:34:48,516 --> 01:34:51,041 i got you, boss, right here in my britches. 1421 01:34:52,953 --> 01:34:57,481 this is rosco p. coltrane, production fuck-stick. 1422 01:35:00,294 --> 01:35:01,318 marker. 1423 01:35:03,898 --> 01:35:06,731 - you got all tongue-tied, boss? - i sure did, yeah. 1424 01:35:07,134 --> 01:35:10,934 did you step in something, son, because there's some kind of... 1425 01:35:12,339 --> 01:35:13,465 help. 1426 01:35:13,541 --> 01:35:14,906 oh, shit. 1427 01:35:14,975 --> 01:35:16,237 there goes my career! 1428 01:35:16,310 --> 01:35:18,835 it's suicide. it's suicide. 1429 01:35:18,913 --> 01:35:21,074 i gotta... i gotta get out! 1430 01:35:22,074 --> 01:35:32,074