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Send your thoughts to letters@ weeklydig.com or 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. All letters may be edited for length, clarity and accuracy. Please include all contact information.

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Dear Dig, Got this email, and it occurred to me that it might be more your expertise than my own. Alex Via email

To Whom It May Concern: Germany has been secretly stealing in Nigeria and from Nigeria, using a satellite, since over three years. If you have a supernatural power, please apply or use the supernatural power in a fair way to suitably curse Germany to the effect that Germany will return whatever Germany has secretly stolen in Nigeria and from Nigeria

that is returnable; without loss of human life. Please make information herein available to your friend(s).

not a fan of the new ’do

Dear Dig, About the face-lift ... it’s not so good.  Three truncated music reviews, instead of seven. And no jokey bad review? No full calendar, just a few items hand-picked by Dig staff. And where is Thinking Ape Blues?! I appreciate Laura Dargus trying to put a positive spin on the changes, but I fear they may have more to do with cost-cutting and ad sales than anything else. Maybe loyal Dig readers would prefer it if you told it to ’em straight? Kudos on the cover, though—you’re not going to find Jesus with stigmata giving Bush and Cheney the finger too many other places. Mike Somerville

COVER ARTIST | Edward Monovich’s work has been exhibited abroad in Columbia, England, Belgium, Italy and throughout the United States. He is the recipient of the New Jersey State Council on the Arts Fellowship. Monovich, originally from Kalamazoo, MI, has taught at the University of Texas (Austin), Metropolitan State College (Denver, CO) and The Newark Museum (Newark, NJ). He resides in Belmont. See his original works this Friday at Space 242 in Boston’s South End. Want to be on the cover? Email Tak Toyoshima, at [email protected].

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Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to letters@weeklydig. com, or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.

cara bayles | [email protected]

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Dear 66 bus route, What the fuck?!? I don’t know exactly what falls under your offered services but I’m pretty damn sure that picking up passengers at bus stops is fucking one of them. Maybe you didn’t see me freezing my ass off on the side of Huntington after waiting there 20-plus minutes in 10-degree weather only so you could blow by me. I guess I wasn’t standing close enough to the bus stop to be considered. Did you recognize me when I caught up to you four stops later after chasing you through half of fucking Allston? And I know it wasn’t your fault that time you broke down in Brookline, forcing everyone to get off and walk to the next stop, making me pay again to get on the second bus that came to get us. I reiterate: What the fuck?!? The worst part is that you and I both know that I have no choice but to continue riding you no matter how shitty your service is. So for all the future times that you will undoubtedly fuck me over ... Fuck You.

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oh, cruel world!

The future is now! We have a new president and whitehouse.gov boasts actual content. But all this talk of “change” extends beyond government. Change is constant; everything’s been changing since the printing press, the wheel, since the day fish grew feet (I said it, Rick Warren!). The gears never stopped churning these past eight years (though it may have felt like it) and the election of one man has not turned this nation into a “post-racial” Candyland (though we like the name … “United States of America” sounds kinda stodgy, don’t it?). The Dig is running alongside this “future” thing, adapting to it and documenting it. We’ve interviewed The Shills about their brand new CD, and wrote up UsTrendy.com, where users vote on clothing designs. Media Farm has begun blogging daily at weeklydig.com, offering PSAs about the threat to literacy known as bad journalism. And at that same site, you’ll find longer versions of Turbovsky’s interview with Aziz Ansari and Isabelle Davis’ rap session with ?uestlove, among other websclusives. Just don’t ask me to Tweet … that’s an evolutionary hiccup if I ever saw one.

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DEAR READER,

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VOL 11 + ISSUE 4



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“Come on, Laura, we’re going home.” --Former President (!!!) George Bush, telling his wife that his tenure mauling the Constitution is over and the time has come to retire to that hell-on-earth cluster of strip malls, mega churches and SUVs known as Dallas. (Very appropriate!) 1.20.09

“

james peabody, Brit-Maren Schjeide. got some random photos? submit them to [email protected]

don’t have the means to help them. In years past, the goal of the march was to lobby for additional funding. Last year, Gov. Deval Patrick approved a $1.4 million increase in MLAC’s budget, bringing it to a hefty $11 million, so this year they simply asked to be spared from his anticipated budget cuts. Sarah Kim Attorney Amy Senier left letters with her legislator’s aides. “Legal service is not a luxury,” she said. “It’s not just for the poor. It is important for the people and the health of the state that citizens have access to justice.” Gov. Patrick’s office declined to comment on his plans for maintaining MLAC’s funding in the pending budget cuts, saying only, “It’s too soon to know.”

three years, showed pictures of bridges and tunnels in disrepair and, in a morbid show-and-tell, brought in some pieces of the structures to prove it. “I don’t want anyone to get a misconception here. I have no problem driving these roads. I think they’re safe,” LeBovidge said, putting down a foot-long deteriorated ceiling chunk from St. Mary’s Bridge in Brookline. “The pieces I showed you were taken off by us; they didn’t fall on someone’s windshield.” But they could—LeBovidge added that the situation would only get worse, predicting that, starting July 2010, the MTA will need $100 million per year, with an additional $12 to $15 million for the last quarter of the 2009 fiscal year, for repairs. In response to complaints that fare increases for commuters from the west and north would be inequitable, MTA board member Michael Angelini proposed making the four tolls necessary to get in and out of

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The Pike hike saga continues At last Thursday’s Massachusetts Turnpike Authority (MTA) board meeting, executive director Alan LeBovidge presented a 30-minute slideshow justifying a toll hike. He responded to last month’s public hearings, where frustrated residents questioned the need for the hike and its fairness, and requested broader transportation reforms. The proposal called for Allston-Brighton and Weston tolls to increase from $1.25 to $2, and Callahan and Sumner tunnel tolls to increase from $3.50 to $7. Last week, the board considered more reserved increases of 25 cents at the Allston and Weston tolls and $2 at the tunnels. The hikes would be effective April 1st, though the less drastic version could yield another increase as early as July. LeBovidge justified the hike by playing to peoples’ infrastructure sympathies; he flipped through slides displaying the operating and budget estimates for next

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to charities like MLAC. Since many of these funds come from real estate transactions, the poor housing market has caused IOLTA’s contributions to drop by nearly 40 percent. Many legislators were absent during the lawyers’ scavenger hunt for support, but their aides were “very receptive to information,” according to attorney Jonathan Lovely. In Lovely’s four years attending Walk to the Hill, he has only spoken directly to a few legislators. “Being in their position is not easy,” Lovely said. “But, the worse the economy gets, the more legal aid is needed. There is a spiral effect.” Many residents battling foreclosures in housing court have been unable to find legal representation because firms

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Nearly 800 attorneys rallied at the State House last Thursday for the 10th annual Walk to the Hill for Civil Legal Aid. The march, sponsored by the Equal Justice Coalition and the Massachusetts and Boston bar associations, sends lawyers to their legislators’ offices to stress the importance of legal access for low-income residents. In the tanking economy, many law firms have cut staff, as requests for legal aid rise. The Massachusetts Legal Assistance Corporation (MLAC), the largest financial supporter of civil legal aid programs, was established by the state Legislature 25 years ago to provide information, referrals and funding for legal services to low-income residents. The MLAC depends on two sources for their entire budget: state funding and Interest on Lawyers’ Trust Accounts (IOLTA). The trust accounts temporarily hold payments lawyers receive from clients until their cases are complete, and the interest accrued goes

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Puritanical whale-of-hate Rick Warren, being creepy and overpronouncing names during his inaugural invocation. 1.20.09

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by Caitlin Wilson

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Attorneys storm the State House to save legal aid

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“We now commit our new president, his wife Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sassssha, into your loving care. I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life — Yeshua, Isa, Jesús, Jesus.” ---

the city, and the one necessary via tunnel, all $5 each. Board member Judy Pagliuca balked at Angelini’s proposal. “I believe people coming from the north have significant disadvantages,” said Pagliuca, citing socioeconomic factors. “I don’t know if it’s really equitable to make it equal.” Gov. Deval Patrick’s considerations of raising the gas tax for revenue and of consolidating transportation departments to cut costs were hardly mentioned last week. However, MTA Chairman James Aloisi—the Big Dig bigwig recently appointed by Patrick—vowed to review all the possibilities before next month’s decision. “It’s safe to use our facilities, but you saw what we all saw and we can’t have that going for long without the revenue,” he said. “So whatever we do in February, let’s not regret it.” [Alexandra Dednah]

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the dig’s quality-of-life index Gov. Deval Patrick announces he’ll cut local aid to cities and towns by $128 million this year, but he won’t touch local public education funding … gotta save something for next year. MINUS 2 Police seize two baby alligators from a home in North Attleborough. Next year’s Question 2: decriminalizing possession of underage alligators. EVEN Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand has been selected to fill Hillary Clinton’s vacated Senate seat. We’re sorry that it didn’t, um, like, work out for Caroline, you know? PLUS 1 The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled students don’t have the constitutional right to participate in school sports. God, where was that ruling when we went to middle school? MINUS 1

Why did the Globe make DiMasi so corrupt? So the big news this week is that House Speaker Sal DiMasi resigned Tuesday, and according to a letter to his fellow legislators, he stepped down because it was time. “Time to move on, time to return to private life and time to turn to my first professional love, the law.” Which is kind of like Eliot Spitzer resigning to spend more time with his family, or Dick Cheney stepping down to resume shooting people in the face; they can talk about love all they want, but everyone knows there’s no choice in the matter.

“Air and Simple Gifts,” the song played by that impressive quartet at Obama’s inauguration, was not played live; the musicians gestured along to a recording. In his defense, Yo-Yo Ma said the instruments faced string breakage due to the weather and “it was wicked cold.” Aw! Just for using that phrase, we Massholes must forgive him. EVEN The MBTA is stalling on its plan to buy 28 new locomotives for the commuter rail, because, uh, they’ll cost money. MINUS 1

One nutritional necessity is saved from the great peanut butter scare: Turns out local Girl Scout cookies do not contain salmonella. PLUS 1

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President Obama has signed executive orders to shut down Gitmo and to end the CIA’s power to use coercive interrogation techniques within a year … Hey, campaign promises really can come true! PLUS 3 Former Sen. Dianne “Bra-o-Bills” Wilkerson admits to taking $70,000 in unreported funds, some of it cash in unmarked envelopes. She doesn’t see anything wrong with that though, because they were to help her pay off her mortgage and tax debts, not for official business. Palm to forehead, go! MINUS 1 This week’s total: Minus 1 Last week’s total: MINUS 1

about that, I don’t know what he does, I don’t care what he does. I have no knowledge of that.’ And it appears he may have had some knowledge, it appears he may have had. But, pushing back against a Globe reporter is not a crime … we do it here every day. We look at the Globe and say, ‘Can you imagine this stupid report? Look at what these people are saying or doing.’ Yes! Thank you! It’s totally unfair that DiMasi might be charged with not talking to the Globe! Penetrating insight, Mr. Former Speaker! Maybe there’s a future in radio for DiMasi, too. In an assault on logic that would make Mike Barnicle proud, he told the Globe he resigned because he’d realized he was going to retire during this term, and, since the state budget is in the toilet, he decided it would be best to step aside ASAP so his replacement could get

“The [Globe]’s dogged pursuit of ruining the speaker’s career yielded a huge payoff, since they broke the corruption story, which, along with DiMasi’s undying love of lawyering, is the reason he’s resigned.”

City Councilor Michael Flaherty finally announces his mayoral candidacy … on the YouTube. To inspirational music. The future is now! W00t. EVEN

Boston police are on the lookout for a man with impeccable oral hygiene and a thick head of hair, who’s shoplifted nearly $800 worth of electronic toothbrush refills, Crest Whitestrips and Rogaine from a CVS on Comm. Ave. MINUS 1

usual third mortgage” on his condo. In July, the Globe reported that Vitale was paid by Cognos ULC, a software company that won state contracts, even though it offered the worst deal of all its competitors. The Globe also found out that Vitale was being paid $60,000 by the Massachusetts Association of Ticket Brokers and spoke with DiMasi about pushing ticketing legislation that would help them out. That’s all kosher, except he didn’t register as a lobbyist with the office of the Secretary of State, like a good little money grubber. So all this smelled funny, and sparked a liiiittle Vitale investigation by the attorney general, who revealed last week that the guy paid $7,500 in DiMasi’s in-law’s legal fees THE SAME DAY that he had a meeting with DiMasi’s aide and several ticket-brokerage bigwigs. This is, of course, all the Boston Globe’s fault.

Of course, this is an enormous coup for the Boston Globe—that flailing daily with a shrinking newsroom whose parent company was saved by an evil genius Mexican billionaire before attaining “junk” status—and the paper’s dogged pursuit of ruining the speaker’s career yielded a huge payoff, since they broke the corruption story, which, along with DiMasi’s undying love of lawyering, is the reason he’s resigned. It began last year, when the paper noticed DiMasi’s old friend, former accountant and doppelganger (we don’t want to perpetuate stereotypes about middle-aged guys in the North End slowly aging to all develop the same old-man face, so suffice it to say these two happen to be almost identical) Richard Vitale, loaned DiMasi $250,000 in “an un-

DiMasi is the third House Speaker to leave mired in scandal. His predecessor, Tom Finneran, resigned amid obstruction of justice charges, and ended up in the agony many politicians face after resigning in shame … he got his own talk show on WRKO. And on Monday morning, Finneran claimed, “I can step back from it, and speak very, very, I think, objectively about it,” before blaming the people at Cognos, Vitale and the attorney general for victimizing Sal. None of this is criminal activity attributed to DiMasi. … What he appears to have done, that might be most offensive to people at the Globe, is when Globe reporters approached him and asked him about it, he said, ‘I got nothing to do with it. I don’t know anything

used to being hated while working a thankless job. Of course, that means running for re-election as speaker two weeks ago was pretty stupid … unless of course, there’s more shit that could potentially hit the fan, like an indictment. But that’s pure speculation, and Media Farm would certainly never suggest a thing like that. Now, if you’ll excuse us, this column is finished, and the time has come for us to return to lobbying with our family. TIPS? THOUGHTS? [email protected]



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UsTrendy shuns subject-verb agreement, exclusivity

benjamin darflur

CHECK IT OUT BY CARLY LAVOIE

It may have taken an eight-year hiatus, but everyone’s favorite vintage trend is making a comeback: Democracy is back in style. Local entrepreneur (and friend to many a struggling artist) Sam Sisakhti is leading the charge with his new website, which is out to democratize the cutthroat, top-down fashion industry. A simple concept—aspiring designers upload their designs, and with a voting system possibly superior to that of the American government, users rate their favorites, which then get produced and ultimately featured in a fashion show. At first click, the site’s butterfly- and spiral-busy homepage may appeal more to the after-school-mall-dwelling demographic than a couture-seeking consumer—but the simplistic interface really just means an intuitive, user-friendly system, and the question lingers: What do I want to rate? Women’s dresses? Men’s shoes? Models? (Decided to leave the model rating to prime-time panels.) “For so long, consumers have been subjected to what a select few labels [decide] ‘what’s in’ or ‘what’s hot,’” says Sisakhti, “so I wanted to let the most important voice of all be heard. The voice of the people.” A former business major at Brandeis, Sisakhti was tired of watching his gifted friends in the fashion world struggle and fail, and so he set out to “create an open system where truly talented people can become successful regardless of what connections they may or may not have.” The Waltham-based site launched in August, and despite national recognition (winning designs will already be featured in North Carolina Fashion Week), Sisakhti is turning his attention to local community involvement. This spring, UsTrendy will host a prom dress giveaway: Boston students will write essays to win top-rated dresses by UsTrendy designers. From a backless, ruched, “reworked” vintage minidress to purple variegated leggings, and menswear ranging from graffitied blazers to peacoats, the whole experience is a bit of a tease—rating isn’t the same as buying, and you definitely want to buy what you see. Wherein lies the incentive to vote: In addition to weekly competitions where prevailing designers win $100 cash prizes, UsTrendy holds eight-week-long seasonal contests. The top 10 winners then go through a second voting process and a final winner is proclaimed (currently, the site is taking submissions for its Spring Fashion Designer 2009 Competition). The winner will be awarded $1,000 cash prize, the chance to finally get their designs produced and promoted, and the exclusive sale of their line on UsTrendy.com. Which means we get to buy them … which means democracy actually … works! [ustrendy.com]

finder South End ?

Offering one of the most diverse selections of restaurants, bars, entertainment and … eh, people, the South End is always a good place to wander. Start off your day with the delicious breakfast pastries and desserts at Flour Bakery & Café [1595 Washington St. 617.267.4300. flourbakery.com] or walk a couple blocks and try Blunch [59 E. Springfield St. 617.247.8100. eatblunch.com] for some of the best egg sandwiches you’ve ever had. Once you’ve filled up on scrumptious bites, start taking advantage of the awesome art galleries in the area. You don’t want to miss out on all that can be found in the SoWa district; from the exhibitions at the Boston Sculptors Gallery (pictured) [486 Harrison Ave. 617.482.7781. bostonsculptors.com] to the open studio events at the SoWa Artists Guild [450 Harrison Ave. sowaartistsguild.com], you will always leave with a newfound appreciation for the creative set. Looking to end your day with some evening entertainment? Make sure to hit up the live music nights at The Beehive [541 Tremont St. 617.423.0069. beehiveboston. com], and don’t pass by the cozy Sister Sorel [645 Tremont St. 617.266.4600. tremont647.com]. But if you’re just wondering where you can find a good old-fashioned tavern, head on over to J.J. Foley’s Cafe [117 E. Berkeley St. 617.728.9101. jjfoleyscafe.com].



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MARY CHUNG Szechuan done spicy EATS by Patrick Main

pan-fried offerings elsewhere, is softer (silken, perhaps) and mixes well with its hot sauce. The pork, while making the dish non-vegetarian, is not overpowering and comes thinly sliced. We also tried a close relative, the Ma Paw Tou Fu—spicy bean curd with pork—but recommend the former. The vegetables offer a needed variance to the dish as the Ma Paw Tou Fu is a little bland on its own. The third dish we tried was

Christopher Schmidt

in all, possibly the best dumplings I’ve ever encountered. Appetites whetted, we move on to the entrées. Chung’s spicy bean curd (along with what we’re discovering about most of their menu items) is a scorcher. The tofu, while not the texture of typical

also off of their house specialties list: the Dun Dun Noodles with Shredded Chicken. The bed of noodles are a little thicker than a typical lo mein noodle, but in that same family, topped with a spicy mix of bean sprouts, peanuts and chicken. As with all the other dishes, the heat comes right up to the edge of “too much,” but never goes over. Not having spent any real time in Asia (36 hours in Singapore not withstanding), I

won’t pretend to be able to judge the “authenticity” of the place (which, to me, always seemed like a bizarre metric to judge food by, anyway. There’s lots of native cuisine that’s authentically bad). It is, however, definitely not your typical Americanized crab rangoon and fried rice joint. Under an unassuming shell, Mary Chung shines through with good service and excellent food.

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240A Newbury Street, Boston corner of Newbury and Fairfield Streets 617-536-2626

MARY CHUNG RESTAURANT 460 MASS. AVE., CENTRAL SQ., CAMBRIDGE 617.864.1991 SUN-THU 11:30AM-10PM, FRI-SAT 11:30AM-11PM, CLOSED TUESDAYs

phenomenal added to the regular rotation solid cuisine, presentation and taste average meh

617-247-8516

Mary Chung has been a stalwart of the Central Square dining scene for nearly 30 years (albeit, not at this location). Their fresh Szechuan cuisine has long fueled MIT students and faculty, and the Kendall/Central corridor. Who knows how many untold numbers of scientific and biotech breakthroughs have been made over their spicy treats? The place is unassuming, both inside and out, with a simple brick façade and lit sign, and typical Chinese-foodjoint banquettes and tables scattered around a long single dining room. As my date and I were walking in, a sign noting that only cash is accepted forces a quick turnaround to hit the ATM. Once properly equipped, we’re quickly seated and ready to go. Starting off, we tried the Suan La Chow Show, somewhat confusingly listed in the soup section of the menu, as it is dumplings in a spicy soy ginger sauce with bean sprouts. The dumplings themselves are heavenly—pork filled and perfectly cooked with a nice soft texture. The bean sprouts offer a crunchy compliment and the dark sauce adds a good amount of heat. All

WHERE ANYTHING CAN HAPPE N

Cin-cin!

DRY MARTINI COCKTAIL 1 part French (dry) vermouth 2 parts gin (also dry) Add 2 dashes orange bitters Stir ingredients over ice in a mixing glass. Garnish with an olive if you’re recovering from dirty vodkatini madness; a lemon twist if not.

VISIT LUPECBOSTON.COM FOR THE GREAT MARTINI TASTE TEST.

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All too often when broaching the topic of vermouth, people shudder: “Vermouth? That stuff’s disgusting. I like my martini without it: extra dry, as dry as possible please.” I’ve got news, friends—a martini without vermouth is just a big glass of clear liquor. Ordering it “extra dirty” is cheating. Adding as much olive brine as possible to the glass is clearly an attempt to facilitate choking it down. If this is your standard drink order, I challenge you to 1) cozy up to a bottle of dry vermouth, and 2) try using it in a gin martini. Vermouth is really just fortified wine, aromatized with herbs and spices. It’s nothing more. After you’ve spent your $5 or so on a fresh bottle of Noilly Prat, pour yourself a small glass and take a sip. Floral, mild, with a slightly bitter finish—that wasn’t so bad, was it? Part of vermouth’s bad reputation lies in the way most modern drinkers store it: in the dusty back corner of the liquor cabinet, to be employed begrudgingly every few years. Improperly stored vermouth goes bad, and indeed, bad vermouth tastes “disgusting.” For optimal freshness and preservation, stick that brand new bottle of Noilly Prat in the fridge. Another contributing factor to vermouth’s bad reputation is that it mixes clumsily with vodka. Gin and vermouth, however, are a lovely match. And when mixed in “vintage” ratios, the beverage has a slightly savory quality. It may be what you were looking for when you poured half the brine from the olive jar into your big glass of vodka.

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Winter Warmers

Take the chill out of New England the second glass by Tyler Balliet

Sporting a parka may be helpful for braving Everest ascents, Arctic explorations and waiting for the D Line after sundown, but we at The Second Glass believe the best way to fight the cold is from the inside, out. Carmenère

We’ve been singing the praises of Chilean Carmenère all winter. This is a grape that originated in France’s Bordeaux region, but didn’t make it to the cool kids’ table until it moved to South America. These wines drink like an earthy Merlot, which means they’re silky and have bright fruit along with a slightly rough flavor that makes them oh-so-good when it’s colder than crap out. We suggest the 2007 Terra Andina Carmenère from Chile. [Available by special order for $9 at the Wine Bottega, 341 Hanover St., Boston. 617.227.6607]

South African Cabernet Sauvignon

Grapes were planted in South Africa over 350 years ago, but it took until the last few years for them to start gaining popularity. Best known for wines like Chenin Blanc and the native Pinotage, South Africa now has over 60 designated appellations. The Cabernets are most similar to Aussie wines with big, juicy fruit flavors and a bit of smokiness that makes them the perfect accompaniment to grilled anything. With a slightly higher alcohol content, these wines will get you where you need to be this winter.

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We suggest the 2007 Graham Beck Gamekeeper’s Reserve Cabernet Savignon from South Africa. [Available for $24 at The Savant Project, 1625 Tremont St., Boston. 617.566.5958. thesavantproject.com]

TanNat

Tannat originated in southwestern France’s Basque region and is of those WTF grapes most people never knew existed. In the late 19th century, a Basque settler brought this grape to Uruguay, and it’s found a bit of a new home in this upand-coming wine region. The wines are big and characteristically full of mega tannins—that gritty, pinch-in-your-cheeks sensation. When made well, this is a perfect wine for washing down steak or other grilled meats and will definitely keep the winter chills away. We suggest the 2006 Vinedo de los Vientos Tannat from Atlántida, Uruguay. [Available for $16 at Bin Ends, 236 Wood Rd., Braintree. 781.817.1212. binendswine.com]

Zinfandel

DO NOT confuse these big, jammy, sucker-punch-youin-the-face wines with their distant cousin, White Zinfandel. “Real Zinfandel” is an inkblack, big-bodied, fruit-laden wine that is produced all over California but thrives in arid, desert-like Paso Robles. Located halfway between LA and San Francisco, this region is an enterprising superstar producing fabulous wines at reasonable prices. If this stuff doesn’t keep you warm, nothing will. We suggest the 2006 Peachy Canyon Incredible Red Zinfandel from Paso Robles. [Available for $11 at Blanchards Wine & Spirits, 741 Centre St., Jamaica Plain. 617.522.9300. blanchardsliquor.com]

JOIN US FOR OUR WINTER WARMERS CRASH COURSE AT DOWNTOWN WINE & SPIRITS ON WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 28th, FROM 7PM-8PM. TICKETS ARE $15 OR TWO FOR $20 AT THESECONDGLASS.COM.

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Grafton Street Pub & Grill

1230 Mass. Ave • Harvard Square

graftonstreetcambridge.com • 617.497.0400 crossword

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John Barleycorn Barleywine-Style Ale No, we’re not reviewing a wine BEERADVOCATE.COM BY JASON + TODD ALSTRöm

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Drink Better Beer.

Despite its name, the Barleywine is indeed a beer but at wine strength—ranging as low as 7-percent alcohol by volume in British versions and upwards of 15 percent in American interpretations. The focus is traditionally on big malts, though American brewers tend to hop them up, which provides even more diversity and interesting flavors across the board. As for this week, we’re digging into John Barleycorn BarleywineStyle Ale (say that 10 times fast) brewed out Blue Lake, Calif., by Mad River Brewing Company—the same brewery that brings us the Steelhead and Jamaica brands. It’s a winter seasonal brewed to honor the harvest (maybe in Cali, but not Mass.) and holidays, in limited 10-barrel batches with certified organic barley malt. The labels, going back to 1991, were created by a local artist using a style that’s a “folksy woodcut based on the tale of John Barleycorn in verse”—according to their website. Personally, we love the Barleywine style. There are hundreds of examples, probably thousands, in the world, but it seems like many are extremely limited and hard to find on a regular, year-round basis. So when we spotted this little gem

standing on its own in the beer cooler … we had to scoop it up and drink it for your reading enjoyment—and hopefully, our drinking enjoyment. The Taste Out of the 12-ounce brown, twist-off stubby, this brew pours a thick, dark copper with rich ruby hues and an impressive two-finger, off-white, creamy head and sticky lacing. Up front, the nose is subtly teased with herbal and raisin

notes and ripe, fruity esters. Firm, full bodied and creamy on the palate. Semi-sharp bitterness followed by softer leaf and resin hop flavors. A smooth maltiness coats the tongue with some sweet caramel, brown sugar and soft toasty/ bready notes. Overripe stone fruits, esters and a grape-like back. Then, it’s all gone. Warming and peppery alcohol pricks the palate, with a very strong, solvent-like presence. A bit biscuity toward the end with an astringent hop finish and alcohol on the breath.

Final Thoughts John Barleycorn BarleywineStyle Ale currently scores a B+ on BeerAdvocate.com, with over 175 reviews. We’ll have to lean toward a C+. It’s decent, and certainly a strong beer, but both the malt and hop profiles seem to be lacking some depth and definition, resulting in flavors that are quick lived and fall flat. As with many of the reviewers, we agree that this one is too boozy. Our bottle hails from the 2008 winter release and was

purchased at Whole Foods Market in Cambridge—the one on River Street that actually sells alcohol; damn our puritan Massachusetts laws. We’re pretty confident that you can find some still lingering on the shelves of many of the area’s finer beer stores. FOR MORE INFO: MADRIVERBREWING.COM For more beer information: BEERADVOCATE.COM RESPECT BEER.

BEER EVENTs

Super Bowl Fundraiser for MS Feb 1 Looking for a cool way to spend Super Bowl Sunday? Join Roadhouse Craft Beer & BBQ, Allagash Brewing Company and BeerAdvocate as we team up to raise money for the Multiple Sclerosis department at Brigham & Women’s Hospital. The cover ($20) goes to charity (and toward all-you-caneat pork ribs). Charity football squares ($50) are on sale now (call to get yours in before they’re gone), with a chance to win each quarter. A massive silent auction (lots of rare and beery items, too) will be

held throughout the event with all proceeds going to charity. There’s even a chance to win a special Extreme Beer Fest package! And if that’s not enough, Allagash will have four to five specialty beers on tap, plus tons of special guest brews—like a firkin of Boulder’s Mojo Risin’, Wachusett West Coast IPA and more! Stump Trivia will be doing pregame beer and football trivia, and of course, the game will be on every damn TV in the house. The fun starts at 5pm. Tell your friends. Be there. [Roadhouse, 1700 Beacon St., Brookline. 617.487.4289. 5pm/$20]

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dig this wednesday 1.28–saturday 1.31 tragedy made light The Year of Magical Thinking closing weekend

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01 28 09 – 02 04 09

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Joan Didion penned this play (based on her memoir of the same name) after her newly married daughter went into septic shock (and later, a coma) and her husband of 40 years, novelist John Gregory Dunne, died. The Year of Magical Thinking is about the suspension of disbelief (and grief) and coming to terms with mortality and, ultimately, one’s sense of loss. [Lyric Stage Company of Boston, 140 Clarendon St., Boston. 617.585.5678. Wed & Thu 7:30pm; Sat 4pm & 8pm/$41$54. lyricstage.com]

thursday 1.29 you could be dancing Elements: 10-Year Anniversary

thursday 1.29 fake films, real life Hunting for Pheasants

If you haven’t been to Elements, well, we’d be shocked, frankly. Considering it’s been going weekly for 10 years in Central Square, and the wealth of talent that has come through their doors, and the very devoted following they’ve garnered, how you couldn’t have ended up there is beyond us. Make it happen for their tin celebration this week with resident DJs Crook, Lenore and a mess of visuals.

New York’s Christian Tomaszewski has more ambition than you. His installation, expanded from a similar show in Köln, Germany, uses no fewer than 60 movie posters—for movies that don’t even exist. He then builds a knee-high maze for visitors to navigate their way through these abstracted cultural touchstones. The experience is very much like going through our daily post-modern world. The reception is tonight.

[Phoenix Landing, 512 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.576.6260. 10pm/19+/$5. myspace.com/phoenixlanding]

[Tufts University Koppelman Art Gallery, 40R Talbot Ave., Medford. 617.627.3518. 5:30pm/free. Until 3.29.09. ase.tufts.edu]  

sun 2/1

Heather Greene, Derek Lee Bronston $9

Mon 2/2

Intransitive presents Thurston Moore & Mats Gustaffson, Sickness, Ashley Paul, Perispirit $8adv/$9dos 8:30 Doors

tue 2/3

Grinding Tapes Showcase with Mr. Sister, Elijah Wyman (fr. NC), The Points North, The Earth People Orchestra $8adv/$9dos

Wed 2/4

The Bright Hours, St. Helena, Muy Cansado, Sera del Fuego $8adv/$9dos

DoWnstairs thu 1/29

Aziz Ansari, Glow in the Dark Tour with special guest Dan Boulger All Ages $15

Fri 1/30

sunday 2.1 industrial lolita goth Blood

monday 2.2 days-long déjà vu Groundhog Day

There is no band like Blood. Born out of the tradition of visual kei— which involves bizarre make-up, extravagant hair and immaculate costumes—the group soon transformed into a gothic, industrialized wrecking machine. They’ve played anime conventions and been featured in the Gothic & Lolita Bible, and this represents their last time visiting America. If you’re up for a spectacle beyond reproach this weekend, Blood fits the bill.

How could you not check out this trippy comedy, in which Bill Murray plays a weatherman covering Punxsutawney Phil’s big day, pouting his classic frown through some kind of glitch in the space-time continuum that forces him to live the same day over and over, and also teaches him the meaning of life? It’s a rom com without the saccharine sentimentality, and probably the best thing to come out of this boring-ass holiday.

[Middle East Downstairs, 480 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.3278. 7pm/all ages/$17 adv, $20 dos. mideastclub.com]

[Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.734.2500. 7pm/$9, $7 students & members. coolidge.org]

tuesday 2.3 haiku 3.0 Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak    This book erases any doubt that SMITH Magazine’s “six-word memoir” phenom has hit the tipping point. Playing into our ever-diminishing attention spans, contributors both famous (Dan Savage, Elizabeth Gilbert) and otherwise offer six-word takes on relationships, e.g., “What do you want for dinner?” and “Monogamists meet at sex party. Marry.” Join co-editors Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser for their ideas on why brevity is best. My question: What about hyphenated phrases? [Brookline Booksmith, 279 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/ free. brooklinebooksmith.com]

Leedz Edutainment presents M.O.P., M-Dot, Heddshotts, Mynestate Militia, Vice Versah, Da Green Team Hosted by Edo.G, Music by DJ On&On from 94.5’s Launchpad $17adv/$20dos

sat 1/31

Corolla DeVille, Willie Alexander and the Boom Boom Band, Reddy Teddy (“Loud and Clear” CD Release), special guest stars Robin Lane & the Chartbusters $12

sun 2/1

Blood (fr. Japan, final tour), Echostream, GPKism, DJ SiSen All Ages $17adv/$20dos

Mon 2/2

MassConcerts presents Powerman 5000, Resin, Bloodwitch (feat. members of Seemless) $18adv/$20DOS

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sat 1/31

Fluttr Effect, Copal, The Campbell Apartment, Protean Collective $9adv/$10dos

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Fri 1/30

The Shills (CD Release), Kid:Nap:Kin, Supervolcano, Justin Shorey (CD Release) $9adv/$10dos

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thu 1/29

Nightmare of You, Almost Gold, Vinyl Skyway $10

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Wed 1/28

Leedz Edutainment presents Gee.Ko (CD Release Party) featuring Infamous Lazy K, Nora Dane of NOTSOB, Grimey Bruce, Pat G, and more! Music by Emoh Betta, Hosted by DJ On&On of 94.5’s Launchpad $10adv/$13dos

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Wednesday, Jan  28 funk 2 ADAM 12 Thursday, Jan 29 rock AJ EDWARDS Sarah Levecque Friday, Jan 30 blues MATT STUBBS BAND w/ Sax Gordon

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Monday, Feb 2 FREE PIZZA 8:30 PM (21+) TEAM TRIVIA starts 8:30 Tuesday, Feb 3 folk NY Songwriters Circle John Schmitt,Byron Zanos & more Wednesday, Feb 4 blues/rock DAMON REEVES

Saturday, Jan 31 roots rock SARAH BORGES Christian McNeill

upcoming shows: 2/5-Grateful Dread 2/6-Milo Z 2/7-James Montgomery 2/8-Bloco Afrobrazil Sunday, Feb 1 2/10-Coryell,Auger Jazz Brunch w/ music & Sample 9:00 -2:30 PM 2/11-McDades Blues Jam 4:30-8:30 2/12-Chick Singer Night 2/13-Chandler Travis 17 Holland St., Davis Sq.

Somerville (617) 776-2004 Directly on T Red Line at Davis www.johnnyds.com

[Beyond the Fluff & Fold, until 2.28.09. Opening reception Fri 1.29.09, 5:30pm-7:30pm/free. The Art Institute of Boston, Gallery at University Hall, 1815 Mass. Ave., Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.585.6656. Gallery hours Tue-Fri/12pm-6pm, Sat/12pm-5pm. aiboston.edu]



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wed 1.28 That giant sucking sound is some serious minds collaborating on a 58-speaker installation that was the toast of the Venice Architecture Biennalle. Darkness Visible describes itself as “an opening of space, a conversion of place into language.” With musical adventurers like Bryce Dessner and Evan Ziporyn matching wits with visual artist Matthew Ritchie, it’ll surely be some wondrous stuff. Seek out MIT’s Broad Center and plan to spend the rest of the night piecing your little mind back together. [7 Cambridge Center, Cambridge. 617.452.2302. 7pm/free. matthewritchie.com]

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Sometimes a good flyer is better than a good press release. When the poster for this show came over the interwebz, featuring a cartoon of a mounted bear head on some wallpaper, we admit it grabbed our eyeballs. Of course, the billing, with Arms & Sleepers, Baltic Sea, White Mountains and Henry Gale, is worth the elegant design of Kentucky’s Ben Sears. Get there early for the White Mountains, a Marlborough outfit that makes coolly played instrumental jam-pops. Check out “Number One” for some swoony stuff. [1222 Comm. Ave., Allston. 617.566.9014. 9pm/18+/$9. greatscottboston.com]

DEFEND YOURSELf!

The Shills

By Brian E. King

Part angular prog, part Weezer, The Shills have been a live treasure since 2004, with jolting precision and frantic tunes. On the heels of their second full-length, Ganymede, we found singer Bryan Murphy to chat with us. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SHILLING? I’m an enormous music nerd and I was sick of playing nerd music for 10 people, when I could be playing nerd music masquerading as catchy rock for, like, 200 people. Thus, The Shills. YOUR GUITAR PLAYER ERIC’S “CURE” FOR MY HICCUPS WAS SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE. WHAT’S HIS DEAL? He has to live up to our other guitarist, Dave, who knows everything, and he’s got a little jealousy worked up after 10 years of bro-ness. He tries, but alas, is devoid of tact and grace. WHAT MAKES YOUR NEW DISC BETTER THAN YOUR LAST? It’s the most conglomerate thing we have yet recorded. It has crazy themes, shifting genres and it flows better than our other discs. We all got to know who we really were in the studio on this one, and it’s given us new goals and enthusiasm. IS MYSPACE GOING DOWN THE TUBES FOR BANDS? A LOT OF BANDS ARE BITCHING. I don’t think so, no. I think people are SUPER lonely these days and Facebook is great for the lonely. As you all know when you get that sad friend request from some dingbat you haven’t seen since middle school. DID YOU GUYS CATCH BANG CAMARO ON CONAN? I didn’t, but I don’t watch much TV other than the Food Network, cartoons and sports news. Twenty guys onstage is pretty fucking badass though. We’re going for 12 this month. We’ll be as cool as them soon. IMPOSSIBLE.

FOR MORE FROM THE SHILLS, HEAD TO WEEKLYDIG.COM. [Shills CD release show, with Kid:Nap:Kin, Supervolcano and Justin Shorey. Fri 1.30.09. Middle East Upstairs, 472 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.3278. 9pm/18+/$9 adv, $10 dos. mideastclub.com]

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Now we can finally go home from an art opening not feeling like the poorest kid in the room. AIB’s upcoming Beyond the Fluff and Fold show has requested that several fine artists make pieces on T-shirts and sell them at affordable prices. While in most galleries we’re not even allowed to take flash photos, these pieces are created to be used and loved. “These artists are essentially begging for coffee stains and laundering and stretching and pulling,” says curator Andrew Mroczek, “yet they’re still considering them a special artifact.” Once people buy and wear the canvases, the work “turns the streets into a gallery,” as Mroczek says. Aaron Krach hopes his “art shows things unseen.” This comes across most clearly in Insecurity, a moving photograph of a large man in a black security T-shirt with the white letters that normally read “Security” modified to say “Insecurity.” “In terms of conceptual art,” Mroczek says, “he’s one of the backbones of this show.” J. Morrison has screen prints on mediums that are frequently used, like toilet paper, paper towels and handbags. The paper towels will be in rolls for guests to rip off and purchase. They are also intended for use. Dave Ortega, a local comic book hero and member of Boston artist group theMiracle5, will be contributing T-shirts with his famous characters on them, like the robot from The Flaming Robot. His work is exceptionally funny and compositionally right on the nose. In addition to these, Ben Colebrook, Burtonwood & Holmes, and Dan Rollman have many delicious T-shirt surprises for us. The opening will be a party. All the artists are planning to attend. It’ll be as if Urban Outfitters brought down their prices, started making meaningful clothes—and handed out free booze while we shopped. [NISHA MAXWELL]

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?UESTLOVE Ahmir Thompson on the phone from Seoul, South Korea INTERVIEW BY ISABELLE DAVIS

Drummer, producer, DJ and music buff extraordinaire (he owns every episode of Soul Train and has a vinyl collection that rivals most), Ahmir “?uestlove” Thompson has been the musical director and leader of the legendary Roots crew for over 20 years now. Here, we discuss Antibalas stalking, the musical Fela! and the Roots’ new gig as Jimmy Fallon’s house band. CONGRATULATIONS ON LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON. HOW DID THIS COME ABOUT? It was right up our alley. We’ve been doing this for 17 years and there’s but so much you can see and travel in the world. From 1992 on, every year. We wanted to slow down our schedule but not necessarily take a monetary dip. We tour to survive, so we can’t just stay home or else we’d be in the poor house. The best thing about it is I can finally devote a lot of hours to being in the studio. We’re going to keep the weekends open to do one-off gigs. I mean, we’re retired from touring, but we’ll still do as many weekend gigs as possible. Can’t get totally rusty. ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE IN ANY OF THE BITS? Oh, yeah. I told Fallon instantly, like, anytime you come up with any “Year 2000”-esque skits, I’m singing that shit. ARE YOU DOING ANOTHER ROOTS PICNIC THIS SUMMER? Yes, we are. And this time I promise it’s gonna be an actual picnic. We’re new at this festival-throwing thing.

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thu 1.29 God bless the Cantab Lounge. The Central Square institution is humming along, over course, jamming their small space with great roots and soul sounds. Red Invasion is one noisy beast, however. Born from the spittled mold of CBGB

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

01 28 09 – 02 04 09

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Aw yeah, right there. Beat that shit like it owes you money! The drum, that is.

THE ROOTS VS. ANTIBALAS THURSDAY 1.29.09 THE ROXY 279 TREMONT ST., BOSTON 617.338.7699 8PM/18+/$15 REDBULLSOUNDCLASH.COM

CAN YOU SPILL ANY OF THE GOSSIP? Absolutely not. But this lineup will kick ass. That’s all I can say. This lineup will absolutely kick ass. I actually suggested we pull back a little bit because the lineup’s so damn good that I don’t know how we can top it next year. KUDOS ON THE GRAMMY NODS FOR AL GREEN’S LAY IT DOWN. Thank you. I promised him that he’d get one Grammy nomination, not four. I’m happy that we got nominated for engineering. DO YOU MIND COMMENTING AT ALL ON THE RECENT BUZZ THAT D’ANGELO’S JAMES RIVER IS COMING OUT SOON? He’s not calling it James River, and in a pleasant surprise, I’m one of the last elements to be added. Which basically means he’s at least more than halfway done, which in D’Angelo speak is a miracle.

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS SOUND CLASH. HAVE YOU GUYS PLAYED WITH ANTIBALAS BEFORE? I’m probably the world’s biggest Antibalas stalker. I’ve always been a fan of theirs, but I didn’t start my stalking mission probably until they became the house band for the Fela! musical. I still dream of that shit. That’s probably the best entertainment. People ask me, “What’s your favorite concert that you’ve been to?” I’d probably have to say the seven or eight times I’ve seen that. To me, it’s just perfect … they’re just so airtight. They do it with such ease and such quietness. The hardest thing in the world is to play quiet and be airtight. FOR ISABELLE’S COMPLETE INTERVIEW WITH ?UESTLOVE, HEAD TO WEEKLYDIG.COM.

daily dig calendar punk and fashioned from the resurrected Dead Boys, get ready to stomp along with their razor-saw backbeat. [738 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.354.2685. 8pm/21+/$7. cantab-lounge.com] If you want an in-depth look at President Obama’s probable Middle East strategy and the ways it converges and differs from the Bush administration’s tactics, quit searching for elegance in Chris Matthews’ hot air CNN sermons. Check out former State Department analyst and congressional advisor Gregory Aftandilian’s lecture, “What Can We Expect

from the Obama Administration on Middle East Policy?” at Harvard. [Belfer Center Library, 79 JFK St., Cambridge. 617.496.1981. 12:15pm/free. belfercenter.org]

fri 1.30 The last time we went to The Pill, we recorded an exit poll without having remembered we had exit polled someone. Combine that detail with what we’ve told you about the drinking habits of Viva

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Viva, and Great Scott might actually run out of beer tonight. [1222 Comm. Ave., Allston. 617.566.9014. 9pm/21+/$5. greatscottboston.com] Edward Monovich’s suburban themes and cultural collage come to Space 242 for Final Friday along with Kristen Mills’ contemplations on privacy in pastel. Work from House of Blues Boston’s permanent collection will be featured in the bar, a collection of Corey Burtt’s shorts, Films That Hurt Feelings, will be played in the mini theater and Harpoon beer will be served. [242 E. Berkeley St., Boston. 617.797.3191. 6pm8pm/21+/free. space242.com]

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local pick DÄLEK | GUTTER TACTICS GENRE | OVERDUBBED MADNESS VERDICT | REPTILIAN MIND MUSIC RELEASE DATE | 1.27.09 LABEL | IPECAC MYSPACE.COM/DALEK

VARIOUS ARTISTS | EXTRACTION GENRE | CLUB CHOONS VERDICT | OUR CREW REPS RELEASE DATE | 1.12.09 LABEL | AIRDROP AIRDROP.COM

In the freaky-deaky realm of left-field hip-hop (El-P, Mike Ladd, k-the-i???), Dälek is one of the darkest and most strange. Under intense layers of noise and compression, MC Dälek spits old-school raps. Beyond a swirling, clanging soundfog, he preaches revolution on “Who Medgar Evers Was …” or, more straightforwardly, on “2012 (The Pillage).” It makes sense that Dälek comes from previous collaborations with Techno Animal and compilations on drone-loving Hydra Head; he occupies a world that only those most doomy care to tread. This fifth album has him teaming up with producer okt0pus, with overdubs from cats named Destructo Swarmbots and Abandoned Language. Made in their new—and ridiculously equipped—Deadverse studio in northern N.J., Gutter Tactics is not your father’s hip-hop.

If I told you that on a new compilation of US dance music, Boston had no fewer than three representatives, you might be hard-pressed to believe me. But on Extraction, a compilation series that features new club music, Marcel Wave (aka Tanner Ross), the inimitable Soul Clap and “Mr. Techno” Pat Fontes all rep our fair city. Turns out, the A&R of the label, Paulo Reachi, settled here from Argentina and found our scene quite agreeable. Marcel Wave turns in “Kiwi Sunrise,” a typically deep and dubby delight, the Soul Clap guys glide through space with “Astroturfing” and Fontes makes Martian microgrooves on “ill lillies.” Reachi does the rest, plumbing finds like SF technotopian Alland Byallo’s “Never Listen” and Brooklyn wack-job Crazy Larry. It’s the sound of now. [ADA HUTCHINSON]

MR. OIZO | LAMBS ANGER GENRE | FLAT ERIC FUNK VERDICT | RETURN TO SCHIZZ RELEASE DATE | 1.26.09 LABEL | ED BANGER MYSPACE.COM/OIZO3000

For the current generation of clubnuts, Mr. Oizo (that’s “Wahzoh”) is what Tribe Called Quest was to the Native Tongues movement: an originator. Back in the day—that is, before 2000—Oizo made a track, “Flat Beat,” which appeared in a famous Levi’s commercial, along with a puppet he made (“Flat Eric”). He took this success and made a series of club hits (known as “bangers”) like “Analog Worms Attack” and 2007’s “Transsexual.” Oizo (Quentin Dupieux) is decidedly artistic in his approach, never willing to commit too heavily to faddish riffs, and Lambs Anger is a further example of that. Right from the opening crunch of “Hun,” he doesn’t let up for 17 trepanning tracks, throwing humor, hard beats and harmonics under his runaway technicolor school bus. [DAVID DAY]

[BRENT T. INGRAM]

20 << from In the Zeitgeist Stage Company’s newest production, there are struggling method actors; a blowhard director; a suicidal playwright; a take-fromit-what-you-will title—Bad Jazz; and imaginably, a fourth, if not fifth, wall thrown in for good measure. The troupe, at the Boston Center for the Arts through February 21st, sets out to discover how far one will go for art’s sake. Meta-playacting on opening night? Why the fuck not, right? [Black Box, 539 Tremont St., Boston. 617.933.8600. 8pm/$20. bcaonline.org, zeitgeiststage.com]

WEEKLYDIG.C0M

01 28 09 – 02 04 09

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Happy Go Lucky is the story of Polly, a hyperactive, (perhaps delusionally) optimistic schoolteacher in London. It’s a turn of direction for director Mike Leigh, known for more depressing fare, and a turnaround for Dig staff as well, since we infamous cynics came to really enjoy Polly’s world. And the film geeks at the Brattle liked it enough to screen it as part of their (Some of) The Best of 2008 repertory series. [40 Brattle St., Cambridge. 617.876.6837. 4:30pm, 7:00pm, 9:30pm/$7.50-$9.50. brattlefilm.org]

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sat 1.31 It may be that the best of New England’s brewing Americana shitstorm are the Wrong Reasons from Providence. They’re only one part of the Saturday night throwdown called Dark Holler Stomp & Musical Revue at the Midway Cafe, but their diesel-fueled Gun Club gets our knees bouncing with just a few strums. Plus, on the catchy “Who Makes the Knives,” Joe Fletcher sings “to survive you must steal” and “let’s snort up all this gunpowder and pray for the blazing heat.” That’s hardcore. [3496 Washington St., Jamaica Plain. 617.524.9038. 9pm/21+. midwaycafe.com] Tim and Eric are not back in town. They’re not playing two shows at the Wilbur Theatre, one of which is definitely not sold out already. No way, no how. [246 Tremont St., Boston. 617.931.2000. 7pmSOLD OUT, 9:45pm/$27. thewilburtheatre.com, timanderic.com]

sun 2.1 The Beatings are like the internet: serious business. They’ve landed in nearly every press outlet in this great nation of ours and are known coast-to-coast. The legends have gone on hiatus, but cofounder E.R. has been busy as ever. Tonight at PA’s Lounge, Eldridge Rodriguez will play more from this strident project. For serious anthems, check out This Conspiracy Against Us, his full-length release on Midriff Records. Guy has no end to his influences, nurtured on everything from Bowie to Neutral Milk Hotel to feedback loops. It sounds intense because it is. [345 Somerville Ave., Union Sq., Somerville. 617.776.1557. 18+/8:30pm/$7 for 21+, $10 for 18-20. paslounge.com] In American Gigolo, Richard Gere plays the title character, who’s accused of murder in the heat of late-’70s LA. The film boasts all the eye candy its setting would suggest … the clothes, pastel colors, Gere’s suntanned, hairless chest, but—and here’s why it’s playing at the Harvard Film Archive—it’s also thought-provoking, following the protagonist closely while maintaining a distance from the passive character, and it’s an

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important snapshot that straddles the distinct indie cinematic styles of the ’70s and the ’80s. Definitely a must-see. [24 Quincy St., Cambridge. 617.495.4700. 3pm/$8. hcl.harvard.edu/hfa]

mon 2.2 Just because Thurston Moore knows more about microsound than you doesn’t make him more badass. Being in the coolest band on the planet, however, does. Tonight he detunes with Sweden’s Mats Gustaffson on trumpet. Yes, you guessed it, it’s the newest bill put together by Intransitive Recordings at the Middle East Upstairs. In an interview with WZBC’s important Rare Frequency radio programme last year, opening act Ashley Paul talked about how “interesting bowed crotales and saxophones sound together.” We looked it up too—they are those little rows of tuned cymbals. Sue us. [472 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. 617.864.3278.

8:30pm/18+/$8 adv, $9 dos. mideastclub.com] R. Crumb, the comic illustrator of big-bottomed ladies and racist imagery of Zap Comix and the cynical world of Harvey Pekar’s American Splendor, has a retrospective of his 40-plus years of work at MassArt. However you feel about Crumb (if you’ve seen the documentary about him, you know he’s a shy and creepy motherfucker), you can’t deny that his artwork is honest and seminal, and his attention to detail is almost absurd. [Stephen D. Paine Gallery, 621 Huntington Ave., Boston. 617.879.7333. Opens Mon 2.2.09, reception on Wed 2.4.09 from 6pm-8pm. massart. edu] The subtitle for social scientist Dalton Conley’s new book, Elsewhere, U.S.A., pretty much sums this one up: How We Got from the Company Man, Family Dinners, and the Affluent Society to the Home Office, BlackBerry Moms, and Economic Anxiety. Not sure about that emphasis on BlackBerry moms, but we’ll take that up with Conley himself at Brookline Booksmith. [279 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/free.

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TAKEN Action films are more fun with blinders review BY DAVID WILDMAN | [email protected]

Movies can be so much fun when nobody gives a shit if they make sense. Cast Liam Neeson as a government-trained special ops killer à la That Bourne Guy, but make him a sweet family man that only murders in the name of his cute teen daughter; get French director Pierre Morel, who popularized parkour in the states with District 13; add screenwriter Luc Besson, responsible for nonsense like the Transporter movies, then release the thing to the American market in the no-pressure, post-Oscar dog days and just have a blast. The key element in making a movie like this enjoyable is that everybody involved has to be on board with the notion that the whole thing is completely preposterous. With Taken, there’s nothing to complicate or obstruct the simple streamlined premise: Neeson’s daughter is abducted and he will kill anyone to get her back. We never see any personal doubts or remorse for the huge stacks of bodies he has presumably piled up in his life, or that litter the streets of Paris by the time he’s done. There are never any consequences to any of his actions. There are no back-story sequences to see what he was like before he became a robo-assassin. All we know is that he and his other hired-killer buddies look back on those as their halcyon days as they sit around quaffing brews, and his only regret is that he didn’t spend more time with his wife and daughter. Usually a film that leaves this many questions and relies on such one-dimensional characters would signal my disdain, but Taken wears these deficiencies like badges of honor. Like any good action flick, the characters are

22 << from brooklinebooksmith.com]

tue 2.3

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As the global economy tanks, governments are reluctantly razing the skyscraping towers of extravagance and greed, and reexamining their application of the world’s greatest power: capitalism. Harvard Book Store hosts 2006 Nobel Peace Prizewinner Muhammad Yunus for a discussion on how to nudge the “invisible hand” over toward the side of good—housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, saving the planet—the subject of Yunus’ new book, Creating

just interesting enough to keep our attention between the awesome explosions and gunfire. As Bryan Mills, Neeson is a likeable, stoic guy, and he doesn’t come near the minimal level of angst that someone like Bruce Willis shows in his Die Hard films (his last one using a similar father-on-a-rampage premise). He’s more like a Schwarzenegger figure but with acting chops. He is efficient and minimally clever, doggedly determined in his task, but certainly not subtle or graceful—he even shoots his old friend’s wife in the arm just to show he means business. And finally, there is never a doubt he’s going to get the bad guy and retrieve his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace). His character is purely functional, and the same holds true of his snotty ex-wife, Lenore (Famke Janssen). The motivation to keep his family together is potent enough to drive the story, but other than that, he has little to do

OMG, they totally broke my Bedazzler! WTF!

TAKEN RATED | R OPENS | 1.30.09

besides join up with his ex-military buddies and their rock star bodyguard business. But that isn’t what matters. Although most of what happens is beyond plausible—out-running a fast-moving car, taking on literal boatloads of thugs and icing them all, and so on—the stunts are great, the action sequences thrilling and the pacing excellent … and when it comes down to it, that’s the point.

daily dig calendar a World Without Poverty. [First Parish Church, 3 Church St., Cambridge. 617.661.1515. 7pm/$5. harvard.com]

wed 2.4 It’s reasonable to lament the English language’s lack of lip-service to the concept of love. In Japanese, “koi” describes a drama-free love favoring companionship over romance; when fueled by “élan,” the French sentiment becomes something more passionate. Amélie Nothomb’s muchbuzzed-about autobiographical novel, Tokyo Fiancée, tests these definitions via the story of a young Belgian girl teaching French in Japan and falling into [insert appropriate term]

with her student. Chat with her (in English) at Brookline Booksmith. [279 Harvard St., Brookline. 617.566.6660. 7pm/ free. brooklinebooksmith.com]

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$EVILGIRL%MBROIDERED"AG



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dig that Somebody done throwed away a perfectly good Mexican boy.

[video game]

CHRONO TRIGGER | NINTENDO DS SQUARE-ENIX | 11.25.08 Chrono Trigger’s been hailed as the pinnacle of role-playing games since debuting on the SNES in 1995. Reviewing it today is like tackling Citizen Kane, World War II or anything long held up as the best of its respective shit. I was a Chrono Trigger novice until this spiffed-up DS reissue, but it’s quickly apparent that the mountainous acclaim is well-deserved. Chrono Trigger is a fitting endpoint for the classic 16-bit RPG, before animated cut scenes and voice-acting made an already bloated genre even more self-indulgent. It deals in traditional genre clichés, but with a narrative sophistication rare for its time. Elegant in its excess, complex but hardly convoluted, this DS reissue brings a classic back to life. [GARRETT MARTIN]

[tv show]

THE IT CROWD | SEASON 3 IFC | 2.3.09, 11PM For a show called The IT Crowd, there’s a refreshing lack of pr0n. Instead, this British import relies on physical comedy and running gags, forcing its hapless protagonists—lazy Irish Roy (Chris O’Dowd), OCD genius Moss (Richard Ayoade) and gullible Jen (Katherine Parkinson)—into increasingly bizarre situations, confounding them at every attempt to break from their loserish existence. Contempt for the staff of Reynholm Industries (standard phone answer: “IT, did you try turning it off then on again?”) compounds contempt from the staff. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll experience gratuitous male-on-male spit-swapping. Best of all, the show never segues into sentimentality: The characters are less good friends than misfits, bonded by their inability to bond with anyone else. [TANYA PAI]

[book]

IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERYTHING SHIT? | PAPERBACK GRAND CENTRAL PUBLISHING | 11.12.08 This glossary of fads, trends and modern institutions was written by the annoying new guy at work who doles out stupid joke after stupid joke until you finally relent one day, pay him a laugh, then gradually fall under the spell of his dorky charm. These nihilistic bastards see no point to nearly anything (except their own indie pink-collar brand of “keeping it real”), and should be writing jokes for Carson Daly. After going after a bunch of muchoverdue deserved targets though (e.g., delicatessen counters as supermarkets, Dubai, men’s magazine pullquotes), they finally got me on their entry for Youtube spam. Here I thought I was the only one who noticed how brain-dead these people are. Thanks, new guy! [JONATHAN DONALDSON]

[dvd]

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AZIZ ANSARI WITH DAN BOULGER THURSDAY 1.29.09 MIDDLE EAST DOWNSTAIRS 480 MASS. AVE., CENTRAL SQ. CAMBRIDGE 617.864.3278 8PM/ALL AGES/$15 MIDEASTCLUB.COM AZIZISBORED.TUMBLR.COM photo by seth olenick

so I’ll probably do a little of it at the show. The Human Giant film is in the early stages of being written. I can’t say much about it at this stage.

AZIZ ANSARI Corresponds with us via the electronic mailing system INTERVIEW BY ROB TURBOVSKY

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At only 25, Aziz Ansari has already co-created a sketch comedy show so good it makes MTV worth watching. Even if he and the other lunatics involved in Human Giant never did anything after the Will Arnett sex tape (look it up), it’d still have been a remarkable run. As it is, Ansari is just getting started: He has plum parts in both the much-buzzed-about Amy Poehler sitcom and the upcoming Judd Apatow movie, Funny People. Before he gets too famous to perform in tiny venues, Ansari will bring his “Glow in the Dark” stand-up tour (Kanye is a big fan) to the Middle East, along with the ridiculously funny 2006 Boston Comedy Festival-winner Dan Boulger. Aziz is apparently already too famous and busy for phone interviews though, so we did this thing by email.

HOW ARE YOU? I’m good. I just had a delicious apple. ON THIS TOUR, YOU’RE DOING A MIX OF TRADITIONAL COMEDY CLUBS AND, AT LEAST IN BOSTON, A ROCK VENUE THAT’S MORE ASSOCIATED WITH ALTERNATIVE COMEDY. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR COMEDY FITS IN? It’s been really fun doing different types of venues. It worked out much better than my original plan of performing exclusively at various Quiznos locations across America. WHAT ABOUT SOME OF YOUR FILM PROJECTS, LIKE FUNNY PEOPLE AND THE RUMORED HUMAN GIANT FILM? In Judd’s movie, I play Randy, a young, super cocky, super vulgar comedian, and that has been very fun. I’ve been practicing some Randy material in my sets,

CAN YOU ENJOY WATCHING HUMAN GIANT SKETCHES NOW THAT YOU’RE NOT WORKING ON THE SHOW? AND, CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE CREATION OF THE “LIL’ 9/11” SKETCHES AND THE WILL ARNETT SEX TAPE, WHICH ARE WIDELY REGARDED (BY ME) AS THE GODFATHER AND THE GODFATHER II OF COMEDY SKETCHES? That’s very flattering. I do occasionally watch the old sketches and I’m very proud of the work we did on the show. As far as those two in particular—“Lil’ 9/11” was an idea Rob [Huebel], Jason [Woliner] and I joked about once before we got the show and were making [recurring sketch series] Shutterbugs on our own. When we were working on Season 1, we talked about it again and our showrunner, Tom Gianas, was really into it and said that had to be the next Shutterbugs. It’s definitely one of my favorites. The Will Arnett sex tape was the idea of our showrunner Tom Gianas. He wrote a hilarious script and Arnett was such a great improviser on set and elevated it even more. I watch that sometimes and still can’t believe it aired on cable with almost no major parts censored. WHEN DO YOU THINK AMERICA WILL BE READY TO ELECT ITS FIRST IRONIC PRESIDENT? I’m sure there were some jackass hipsters that voted for Bush ironically in 2000, right?

SWING VOTE | KEVIN COSTNER TOUCHSTONE | 1.13.09 The Kost, not content with shitting on the sacred mountains in the Black Hills or casting himself as the savior of humanity, decided to take on the role wherein he becomes the most important vote in the history of American democracy. As “Bud Johnson,” he’s forced to vote by his annoying daughter, and so forth (Dennis Hopper and Kelsey Grammer apparently needed to eat). Someone ought to hack off Kevvy’s ego and float it into space so we can live on it when the earth floods. [DEBBIE DRISCOLL]

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Letters

ERRONANUS! savage love BY DAN SAVAGE | [email protected]

phalloplasty “endows” an FTM with. Instead, he invested in a high-quality, looks-like-a-prick, feels-like-a-sneaker strap-on. If your gay friends couldn’t come up with any of these answers, SEI12E, you need smarter, more insightful, more credible gay friends.

Socks in porn a tradition? Sorry, SID, but no. Socks on feet in porn—as opposed to socks on cocks?—are like zits on butts in porn or track marks on arms in porn. They’re incidental, not traditional. And unless someone licks socked feet or the socks are removed and used as gags, they’re not a “foot-fetish thing.” So it appears that neither you nor your friends have any credibility on porn attire, SID.

Longtime reader, first-time writer. In last week’s column, there was a letter from JON, a young, just-out gay kid who is not ready for anal sex. Please excuse a question from a naïve but well-meaning/curious straight guy … but what other kinds of gay sex are there? Just handson and oral, kind of like what us hetero folks do? Or are there other things that would blow my plain-vanilla-sex mind? -Dumb-Ass White Guy

I was recently on an airplane seated next to a man talking on his cellphone. The man stated that he was “excited to use [his] new strap-on tonight!” It made me wonder why and how a guy would use a strap-on. Wouldn’t he just use his own penis? When I glanced over at this guy, because I wasn’t sure how a man would use a strap-on, he told his caller he had to go as he was getting the “stink-eye” from me. I wasn’t disgusted, just curious because he acted like this was a normal toy for guys, not to mention an appropriate conversation to have on an airplane. All my gay friends were stumped, too. I was wondering if you could solve this mystery. -Stink-Eye In 12E

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The most obvious answer: The strap-on was a late Christmas gift presented to him to be used on him, not by him. A slightly less-obvious answer: Some small-dicked men—ones who are not at all insecure—use strap-ons on partners who enjoy a “filled-up” feeling from time to time. The least obvious answer: The man on the airplane was a female-to-male transsexual who, like a lot of forward-thinking FTMs, declined to get an expensive phalloplasty during his transition and the pretty much nonfunctional penis a

You mean straight people haven’t heard of ear-holin’ and nosebangin’ and socket-fuckin’ and piss-slittin’ and ann-coulterin’? You gotta get out more, DAWG. Actually, there are no mysterious gay sex acts, nothing that we can do that you can’t do better. And there are things we can’t do at all. We can call it “boypussy” and “mangina” all we want, but two gay men aren’t going to do vaginal intercourse as well as a hetero couple, and lesbians who want to snowball have to resort to cream-cheese frosting cut with a little skim milk. The only pronounced difference between gay and straight sex—besides the hotness—is that most gay folks regard “hands-on” and oral as “real sex,” not as disappointing consolation prizes we’re handed when “real” sex, i.e., fucking, isn’t in the offing. Straight people—particularly straight men—would do well to emulate queers in this regard. The more things you consider “real” sex, and the more things you consider hot sex, the more real, hot sex you’ll be having. Dan, your advice to LIMP—the man who was reluctant to use a vibrator on/with his wife—was right on! I’m a 34-year-old

woman who needs a vibrator to get off, and for years I felt “defective.” My husband didn’t exactly help at first, but he eventually asked me to show him how I did it. He wanted to try. Bingo—the look on my face was all he needed; he was a convert from that moment on. One of his issues with the vibrator, though, was the phallic shape; he felt like it was replacing him. Many men don’t like vibrators for that reason. It’s bigger, harder, and lasts longer—all of that can intimidate a guy. But you can buy tiny vibrators that are just a couple of inches long, egg-shaped ones, and butterfly-shaped ones. LIMP should visit his local adult-toy shop with his wife and pick out a silly one that doesn’t compete. Bottom line: She has been brave enough to share her needs with you. Would you prefer it if she faked it for your entire marriage and quietly took care of herself in private? -Nothing Beats A Good Buzz Thanks for sharing, NBAGB. SADDLEBACKING DEFINED: The votes are in, the people have spoken, our democratic ideals are renewed. But first: Anyone who picks up the January 24th issue of the Economist—I pick it up every week for the “Page 3 Boy,” sudoku puzzle and horoscopes— will find this lead paragraph to a story about Barack Obama’s inauguration. “Any decision Barack Obama makes can cause a stir. He invited Rick Warren, a popular pastor, to say a few words at his inauguration. The aim was to stroke conservative Christians, thereby fostering a warm feeling of national unity. But some

of Mr. Obama’s gay supporters were appalled. Though hardly a fire-breather by the standards of Southern Baptists, Mr. Warren holds old-fashioned views about homosexuality. Bloggers lamented Mr. Obama’s ‘betrayal.’ Dan Savage, a gay columnist, urged his readers to protest by coining a new meaning for ‘Saddleback’—the name of Mr. Warren’s church. Many of the suggestions were unprintable.” Many of them were unprintable? Not true, Economites. I printed all of them right here in this space. So it’s not that the suggestions themselves were unprintable—there’s not one single profanity in the lot—it’s that you poofs just don’t have the balls to print them. That’s very different. And now … without further delay … the winning definition of “saddleback” … by a gaping margin … definition number 5. “Saddlebacking: the phe-

nomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities.” After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage. Here’s why this definition is perfect: Saddlebacking, like barebacking, involves one person riding up on another’s backside. But in this case, it’s not the bare-naked cockin-ass that’s the most important feature of the ride, but the fact that the person being ridden has been saddled—thanks to the efforts of the Rick Warrens of this world—with religious hang-ups and serious misconceptions about sex. Like the barebacker who casually tosses away his health—or his partner’s health— because he believes, quite erroneously, that “risky = sexy,” the saddlebacker offers up her ass because she believes, quite erroneously, that she can get fucked in the ass—vigorously, religiously—and still be considered a virgin on her wedding night. I’ve set up a website—saddlebacking.com—to popularize the new definition. (Get to work, Google bombers!) Spread the URL far and wide, please, and let’s get this term into common usage as quickly as possible. DOWNLOAD DAN SAVAGE’S WEEKLY PODCAST, SAVAGE LOVECAST, EVERY TUESDAY AT THESTRANGER. COM/SAVAGE.

Joe Newton

Please settle a difference of opinion that stumped our small group at the coffee shop: Why do guys wear socks on their feet in porn? I say it’s a tradition. My friends claim it is a foot-fetish thing. My credibility rides on this, so thanks for answering. -Socked In Denver

Earn $25-$75 for study! Researchers at Boston University are seeking gay and bisexual men who are social drinkers for a study on the effects of alcohol on judgment, decision making, and communication. Participants will be asked to participate in a 2 session study which involves the completion of several questionnaires and the evaluation of interactive videos.

PleaSe call 617-353-0962

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exit polls

RACHELLE AFTER AN AFTERNOON AT THE BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY, 1.25.09

CAROLINE AS RIVER GODS CLOSES FOR THE NIGHT, 1.23.09

What do you like most about River Gods? [drunk guy yelling] The lovely clientele. The decorations are always cool. They had big bust of Obama a few days ago. Kind of like an Obama shrine. That’s kind of odd. Or kind of awesome! What else was a part of the decorations? There were Obama-tinis. What’s in that? They are really good, just like Obama’s gonna be. There are a lot of apples in it, and a sugar rim. What’s not good about that?

What’d you do at the library? I was on the computer and then I borrowed some books. Some fantasy books. I was looking for anything to get my mind off some stuff. Like dragons? No, what I have here is I Was a Teenage Fairy and The Importance of Being Married. It kind of got my attention. People are friendly in there … Hmmmm … I don’t know about that, but, yeah, friendly. It’s a great place for some quiet time. And now I am going to do a little shopping. Where at? Lord and Taylor’s.

Anything you need? Not really. [laughs] But I’m going in there to look around in there and see if I need anything.

by Brendan Emmett Quigley | brendanemmettquigley.com

33 Channel for interior decorators 34 Budding twitter 36 Like candy boxes, often 42 Side in a 1940 battle 44 Sky-blue 45 Flathead Indians’ home 46 “I have the answer!” 47 Gets down 48 Three czars

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creative director Tak Toyoshima art director Taylor Seidler Designer Scott Murry interns Anthony O'Brien, Melissa Newman-Evans, Kavi Williams

sales manager Alex Lappin Senior Account Executive Graham Wilson account executives Marc Ellison, J.R. Roach

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18 Having no typeset letters? 21 Slugged, old-style 22 Multivolume refs. 23 Shellacking 24 Designer Cassini 25 Hospital room’s purpose 26 Chevy sports car 28 Internal passageways

35 Old flask heaters 37 Penlight batteries 38 Russia’s Sea of ___ 39 ___ hold on 40 Leprechaun’s land 41 Priv. eyes 42 Ascap alternative 43 Hellboy star Perlman

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Ah, a little retail therapy. What are you looking for? I don’t know.

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>> ACROSS 1 Frida star Salma ___ 6 Tourist’s aid 13 Soccer Hall of Famer Lalas 14 Contracted cost 15 Track athlete

16 And 17-Across, 2008 Danny Boyle film 17 See 16-Across 19 Like a madras pattern 20 Onetime distributor of free maps 23 Rancher’s threat

27 Begin again 29 Former San Francisco Mayor Joseph 30 ___ Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking’s creator 31 “Super!” 32 Mathematical groups

1 Soccer star Mia 2 Et ___ 3 Speak to the hard-of-hearing? 4 N.B.A.’s Nick Van ___ 5 Republic on the Equator 6 Grps. 7 Passing events 8 It gets notions 9 Auto amenities 10 Double-checked 11 ___ Z 12 Solitaire puzzle piece

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! BARTENDING ! $300/day potential. No Experience Necessary. Training provided. 800-965-6520 ext. 262. VOLUNTEER IN AFRICA/BRAZIL Community Development in rural areas. No experience necessary. Fees apply/ Financial aid. [email protected] www.iicd-volunteer.org 1-413-441-5126

BILINGUAL?? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE The Boston Area Spanish Exchange is now enrolling for Spanish classes. Make yourself in high demand- learn a second language! Call 617-773-1211 for more information MGH INSTITUTE OF HEALTH PROFESSIONS GRADUATE INFO SESsION Working as a health care professional can be one fo the most rewarding careers in these uncertain economic times- there’s no better place to begin than here. Come join us on Sat. Feb. 7th from 10 a.m. to noon. 36 1st Avenue, Charlestown Navy Yard. www.mghihp.edu

Boston - 2 BR Located near the subway in Fenway. Includes: Dishwasher, Disposal, Hardwood floors, Concierge, Elevator, High-Speed Internet, Pets Allowed (more) Contact David Goulart at 617-277-5800 or 617-272-5774 (cell) with referral # Kahoots-383039 NextStep Properties

GET TESTED BOSTON! Concerned about getting tested for STDs and HIV? It’s easier than you think. For more information, visit www.gettestedboston.org Healthy Men Needed Men between the ages of 18 and 50 are invited to participate in a research study at Boston Medical Center to evaluate the actions of testosterone (male hormone) on muscle and sexual function. -FINANCIAL COMPENSATION IS PROVIDED- For more information please call 617-414-3793 HEALTHY VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR CLINICAL RESEARCH STUDIES. GET PAID FOR YOUR TIME. You may be eligible for participation in a Clinical Research Study at the Pfizer New Haven Clinical Research Unit.www. NewHavenCRU.com 1-800-254-6398

Cash for Old Gold We pay cash for your old, broken, unworn gold and silver. Gold and Ssilver coins and watches too. We also buy select watches, quality diamonds over 1 ct. Gold and Diamonds ETC 29 Pleasant St, Malden, Ma 781-324-4345. Come in for an estimate!

Remodeling and Home repairs Lots of Somerville references for kitchens and bath remodeling. Reasonable costs Relief, Stretching. As well as a daily guide and genuine collaboration with you to get to a complete fitness walking program Receive daily lessons in the comfort of your a job you envision. Free advice. I love this work call Brad at 7:00AM to 6:00PM. own home. Begin to build your own Life in We are also Tags Hardware Handyman Synergy! Log on to www.lifeinsynergy. service. Call 617-549-7609 com/go to learn more today! Contact me directly with any questions! TAX PROBLEMS???!!!! Change your life today! IRS representation and tax preparation by CPA/Ex-IRS Revenue Agent. Vendors, Readers, 617-335-2988 www.davidrootcpa.com Practioners and Artisans Wanted for second annual New England Metaphysical Fair on 3/28 at the Cambridge YMCA Theater. To host a booth, please call choice treasures at 978-251-0828.

CONNECT YOUR MIND, BODY & SOUL Boston’s newest fitness institution offers the area’s most diverse class offerings from

NEW PRIX FIX OFFERINGS Dining budget cut? Looking to for a great dining experience? Come to Church for Prix Fix all day menu. Please visit www.churchofboston.com

for a total of 4 outpatient visits and 2 overnight stays at the Clinical Research Unit at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center FOR MORE INFO: Contact Alix Zamansky, @ Boston College: (617) 552-2758 or [email protected]

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Activist Telefund is hiring callers to raise money and build support for progressive campaigns, causes, and candidates. Work with groups like Move-On.org, the Democratic National Committee, Amnesty International and Human Rights Campaign. Make a difference and make money. Call Alex at 617-292-7700

SUPPORT LOCAL ARTISTS junkyardarts.com is the leading website devoted to the work of upcoming Boston artists. Come rummage.

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SPEED DATING FOR COLLEGE grads Recommended ages 24 to 35. Wednesday, February 4th. Check in 8 pm, starts promptly at 8.30. For more information go to www.dateanddash. com or call 800-957-DASH.

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Hire Boston’s Most Award Winning Personal Trainer for 8 weeks for $49.95 Helena Collins, Boston’s most award winning personal trainer and the owner of Synergistics Personal Training Studio and Life in Synergy Fitness Studio announces the location of her latest studio, your living room. With her pioneering 8 week Walking and Waterô Go! Bag program you will receive a complete workout program including: Nutritional Alignment, Physical Alignment, Spine Care, Breathing and Stress

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RESEARCH STUDY ON ANOREXIA NERVOSA ($550) FEMALE VOLUNTEERS who are currently anorexic, or have recovered from past symptoms of anorexia nervosa, age 18-45, in stable medical health, and not taking medications (with the exception of oral contraceptives), are sought for a study of behavioral ratings and blood hormone levels. Eligible participants will receive up to $550

Yoga to Salsa, Martial Arts and Meditation to Zumba, House Dance to the Synergistics Fitness Method. Call 617-867-6500 or visit us online at www.LifeinSynergy.com/DIG.

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Accounting Job/Customer Service Job. Seeking representatives for a rapidly expanding company. We are receiving more responses than we can handle and are looking for people who can assist these customers. Contact us directly by email to: [email protected]

Are you at risk for Diabetes? We are recruiting women for a clinical study at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Healthy women between ages 22-70 and at least 15 lbs overweight that are non-smoking and not diabetic. Outpatient clinical study examining the effects of a medication on body weight and hunger. The study involves visits at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center Clinical Research Center. This study involves the use of a medication approved by the FDA for the treatment of type 2 diabetes. Call Meghan Crawley/Dr Dushay at 617-735-3281 or email [email protected]

HIV NEGATIVE GAY/BI MEN Needed to participate in a research study at Fenway Community Health. The study will test whether taking an HIV drug is safe and effective for HIV negative men who have sex with men. If so, this may become a future HIV prevention method. Participants receive confidential HIV counseling and $50 per visit. 617-927-6450

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