Cow 1.4

The Voice of the Denver Waldorf High School

April 20, 2009 Volume 1, Issue 4

Chronicles Of Waldorfia Illustration by Meril Shane

Pappa’s Discourages Boycott

Contents

By Phil Carter and Chloe Prendergast Pappa’s Situation

1

Pope: “No Condoms”

1 C.O.W. Sam Ross-Smith

Students on CMP

2 brought up the recent event of

Scrubs: Must or Bust A Neglected Sport Yankees Stadium Quinn’s Quidditch OnLive: New Gaming YouTube Crackdown Justice for Workers What is Art Exactly? Survey Results NarniAstrology Easter Road Trippin’ Bye Gladys & Gregg Comic Crossword Solution Farewell to the C.O.W. Comic

In the first issue of the

the boycott at Pappa’s grocery. After two weeks, some 4 of the students are starting to 4 trickle back to Pappa’s, one of the only small, local grocery 5 stores left. Others remain 6 adamant about the boycott and try to convince others to 7 follow them. This has started 8 a small discrepancy among 8 the high school students, whether to support the small 8 business, or to walk the extra 9 few blocks to save a penny 10 here and there at the nearby 7Eleven. 11 On Wednesday afternoon, March 31, 2009 the manager 11 at Pappa’s, Bryan, spoke 11 about the current situation. 12 Contrary to popular belief, Bryan said that he has defi3

12

nitely noticed the absence of regular business from the Waldorf High School students. “What’s up with that?” Bryan said, with a disapproving tone. When told the cause was due to the price increases, Bryan looked a little confused and continued, “We haven’t had prices go up on the things that they buy in over a year. Over a year ago it was because of the prices on gas, but we’ve since taken them back down and adjusted what we can.” So what is this new price hike? According to Shawn, the owner of Pappa’s, the store was recently cited for not consistently following the sales tax law. While food is often exempt from sales tax, any immediately consumable food – deli food, or

snacks, for example – falls under the sales tax law. This has caused items such as the Arizona Iced Tea (mentioned in the previous article) to go from its usual 99-cents, to over a dollar. This is because there is now a 4% tax on all ready-to-eat items, which is beyond the store’s control. According to Bryan, the overall business has not dropped much from the Waldorf boycott. He said that when the prices went up, people mostly just “tightened their belts” and the store hasn’t noticed much of a decline. Shawn was concerned, however, that neighborhood customers could be influenced by the boycott, which could take a toll on overall sales. “I’m not happy,” said (Continued on page 3)

Cryptogram

12

Classifieds

12 By Phil Carter and Chloe Prendergast 12 Pope Benedict recently Members of the Den- think about that for a while.” 12 stated that condoms will not ver Waldorf School commu- Mr. Matuszewicz:

Pope Discourages Condoms

decrease the spread of HIV/ nity were asked for their AIDS in Africa. “On the concomments and reactions to trary,” he said, “it increases the this quote. We received a wide variety Denver Waldorf School problem.” Bene“Even though I see both dict suggested of answers 940 Fillmore Street that a better sosides, it is a foolish thing from the Denver CO 80206 lution involves interviewto say.” “a humanization ees listed 303-777-0531 x162 of sexuality, spiritual renewal” below: [email protected] and “a true friendship for those Gautam Webb, eleventh who suffer.” grader: “I would have to

Contact the C.O.W.

“Ahhhh… read that again. Surprisingly good for the Pope! Oh wait, don’t write that down!” says last year’s eighth grade teacher. “Why wouldn’t he give out condoms? And make sure you spell my name correctly! CL-A-R-K.” Mrs. Hindes: “I disagree (Continued on page 2)

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4

Page 2

Condoms not Holy? (Continued from page 1)

with the Pope.” Ms Palo: “He’s right and wrong.” Natalie Ross-Smith, eighth grader: “Umm… I don’t know. What am I supposed to say to that?” she says. “I was confused at first, but then I decided I disagree with that guy.” Mario Bravo, seventh grader: “Uhhhhhhhhh…..” he says, with tone getting distinctively softer towards the end of the word, as he slinks shyly out of the interview, and walks through the door… Ms. Doyle: “I agree with the second thing, but I disagree with the first, to deny the use of condoms because of a religion, is a cruel and unusual punishment.” 9th Grade Class: “NO!” said student Madison Dezelsky forcefully. “That’s a load of bologna.” Said Cassidy Schultz, another student in the class. “How is that physically possible?” asked Brennan Wittry. Mr. McHenry: “I think the quote makes the Pope seem odd, since it is probably taken out of context. Even though I see both sides, it is a foolish thing to say.” Sade Moore, tenth grader: “I am flabbergasted! That is kind of stupid. It is good to be harmonious with someone you choose to…be with though.” She said bashfully. Mrs. Gaillot: “I’m shocked! What’s wrong with him?! He didn’t really say that! Give me that paper! I would like to know what he means by humanization of sexuality.” Milandra Pfister, tenth grader: “I don’t think the Pope is really addressing the problem.”

The CMP: Students Speak Out By Ana Spotts When the Denver Waldorf could be a bit more comfortable though. I School moved into their new building wouldn’t mind if there were a few chairs, just blocks away from Congress Park or a desk, but I like that everyone can in 2003, they thought that their luck hang out together.” would change. Although many of the The students were then asked what families valued the convenience of their least favorite part of the building the school’s old location, and the at- was. Given this opportunity, the students mosphere of the neighborhood that were quite vocal about the school’s lack surrounded their building, the bad of both a theatre, and a gymnasium. The aspects of the building outweighed Waldorf School’s drama department curthe good. With this, they relocated to rently holds their productions in a multitheir new building, located at 940 purpose room. Not only do the acoustics Fillmore. of this room take away from the performHowever, their problems had not ance, but the faculty must set out folding yet come to an end. The new build- chairs for the audience to sit in before ing, like the one they had just moved each performance. Meanwhile, the sports out of, lacked several key features. teams must hold their practices in a venue Wishing to amend this, a small com- several miles away from their school mittee within the Denver Waldorf building. “The absence of a gymnasium community began to look for a way leaves a dark hole in my life,” states to improve both Laney Harden, a the building’s “I like the high school hallway. junior, and member interior and exteor the girls’ basketIt’s a place where everyone can rior. ball team. On April 1, hang out. It could be a bit more The students also 2009, two reprecomplained about comfortable though.” sentatives from things such as the Humphries-Poli, met with the stu- lack of a student lounge, and the peculiar dents of the Denver Waldorf High stench of the school, stating that each School, seeking their input on what room has it’s own individual scent, none students believed would improve the of which are good. environment and structure of the Finally, each student had the chance school building. They asked the stu- to say what his or her idea of a “perfect dents to answer three questions: 1. school” would be. Although many reWhat is your favorite part of the quested things such as a butler, a hot tub, building? 2. What is your least favor- or the elimination of all homework, many ite part of the building? 3.What said that their perfect school would have a would your dream school have that swimming pool, or a weight room. your current building does not? After the committee compiles this When answering the first ques- information, they will see what changes tion, the students listed the positive can be made within reason. Although they features of the building, which ranged may not be hiring a butler any time soon, from the high school parking lot, to it is safe to say that the Waldorf School the large windows that allow natural should get ready for change. Perhaps after light to flood throughout the rooms. a short time they will finally be able pracSenior Minji Kim stated, “I like the tice in their own gym, put on a play in high school hallway. It’s a place their own theatre, and take a short dip in where everyone can hang out. It the rooftop swimming pool.

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4 Page 3

Pappa’s Grocery: All a Misunderstanding (Continued from page 1)

Bryan about the students’ choice to walk to 7-Eleven. “But it’s their choice if they want to support the big corporations over the small local businesses.” Bryan looked sad and resigned as he said, “That’s what it all is anymore. The small man always loses out.” Even though 7-Eleven may have slightly lower prices up front, the number of free snacks and treats slipped to the students from Pappa’s, more than outweighs the small price difference. Besides, 7-Eleven technically falls under the same sales tax laws as Pappa’s, meaning it’s just a matter of time until their prices also “increase.”

Pappa’s employees also care about the students and notice their absence. “Even though we are doing fine without them,” lamented Bryan, “we miss the students.” If the Waldorf students decided to resume their regular visits to Pappa’s, would 7-Eleven care or even notice their absence? Pappa’s grocery has been around for quite some time. Shawn, the present owner, and Bryan have been working there for about three years. It used to be an old Piggly Wiggly’s, where Ace Hardware is now, but it was eventually bought by Shawn and his wife, Stephanie, from her cousin. It became known as Pappa’s after Stephanie’s cousin’s last name.

“Everyone knows we’re getting ready to change the name,” said Bryan, “It will now be called 12th Avenue Market Deli. This change will take place within the next month.” Not only will the name of Pappa’s be changed, the logo and store brand products will change also. Already some spices and other small goods have taken on the new name and logo. “The neighborhood has also changed to be, for lack of a better word, more upper class,” said Bryan. “So we’re going to start carrying more Colorado products as well as more organic produce.”

[Editor’s Note: As Phil and Chloe, the writers and interviewers of this article were making their way out of the store, Bryan exclaimed, “Hey, you guys need a snack?” He then proceeded to take a large bag of Cheddar Cheese Chex Mix off of the shelf, and hand it to the students, free of charge. This was an unexpected example of how much Pappa’s really values the students’ business. “They gave us a free snack, just for talking to them! We didn’t even buy anything!” Said Chloe Prendergast, obviously very pleased with Bryan’s kindness.]

“Scrubs”: a must or a Bust? By Sam Ross-Smith “Scrubs”, the show that made us all stop in our tracks and day dream for a little, is back with a whole new season. But fans wondering, “What will this new season bring us?” Will it be the earlier version of “Scrubs” with corny jokes one after the other, and a touching but somewhat cheesy moral at the end? Or will it be the disappointing, love-story sitcom between JD and Elliot that we all witnessed in some of the later epi-

sodes? Or, will it be something entirely new and exciting? When we last saw the show, JD and the gang were all in a bit of a slump and the

show had nowhere to go but up. And “up” it went. Season eight brings the show back to life with a couple new, relat-

able characters that add some punch to the fresh jokes. JD is funnier than ever as he strolls the hospital hallways with his new look, the beard. Although he and Elliot are back together, their crazy shenanigans only add to the show.

yes, but one of the latest episodes might leave fans begging to disagree. “It was just too serious,” stated Natalie Ross-Smith, a concerned eighth grade fan. “Sure, there were a few good jokes, but I’m not looking for another one of those dramatic doctor shows.” “It’s a one of a kind “Scrubs,” the show that hilarious hospital show,” made us all stop in our tracks roared Morgan Shane, a and think about death? I hope somewhat new fan to the not, but for now it’s up to the show. writers. Will it make a comeThe only concern for back and flourish with another this season is whether the outrageous funny streak? Or writers will be able to will it just end up being anmaintain their hilarious other one of those dramatic streak. Up until just redoctor shows? Only time will cently the answer has been tell.

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4

Page 4

Cricket: A Neglected Sport By Gautam Webb The leg spin bowler, a dibbly dobbly, approaches the pitch and, unexpectedly, sends a googly traveling toward the nightwatchman, who hits a dink. The silly mid-off retrieves the ball. Luckily for the batsman, the next ball is a mullygrubber, which allows him to play a cover drive. While he then runs toward his teammate, a fielder retrieves the ball and throws it at the wicket. The throw proves wellaimed. The batsman is dismissed run out and the over is a wicket maiden. That is cricket. In the United States, cricket is seen as a fairly eccentric sport. The rules of this game are widely unknown in this country, as many U.S. citizens prefer to follow other sports. I believe cricket isn’t given the credit it deserves in this country. I enjoy cricket very much, for many reasons. I think it is a complex,

Cricket’s obituary from The Sporting Times after Australia defeated the British team for the first time.

sophisticated, elegant, intriguing and beautiful game. These qualities of cricket are reasons I believe it should be more appreciated. Cricket began in England in the sixteenth century as a game invented and

played by children. Some three hundred years later, after cricket had developed into a recognized adult sport, the first Test cricket match (a specific form of the game) was played. Today, the sport has become popular in many countries. A cricket team consists of eleven players. Batting, bowling and fielding are all essential skills of the team and, in this respect, a varied group of players is necessary. Play essentially conforms to the following procedure. A bowler of the fielding team bowls down the pitch to a batsman, who attempts to protect his wicket (three ‘stumps’ on which two ‘bails’ are balanced) and win runs together with a teammate. Basically, at the end of the game, which occurs at different points depending on the format being used, the winning team is the one which has scored the most runs. (Continued on page 5)

Yankee Stadium No More By Meril Shane Baseball has forever been the American pass time. Sitting in the bleacher drinking a soda and eating a hotdog, all while watching your favorite team, is one of the things that many people in America grown up with. The original Yankee stadium is the fourth oldest baseball stadium in America, and has hosted some of the most memorable moments in the history of baseball. The original Yankee stadium was opened in 1923, and on April 3, 2009, it will open again with a new look. While keeping the field measurements intact, the fan seat-

ing has been drastically changed. Fans no longer have to sit in uncomfortable wooden seats, but will now be able to enjoy brand, new, shiny, cushioned seats, each one possessing one cup holder each. The seat width has been increased, to accommodate comfort, as well as the legroom between rows. The general public seating has been, however compromised for these new accommodations. While there were only 19 private luxury suites in the old stadium the new stadium has a total of 56. The groundbreaking for the new stadium began on August 16, 2006, which happens to be the 58th anniversary of Babe Ruth’s death. The com-

plete project has cost around 1.3 billion dollars. The result is a modern, yet historical looking ballpark. While all the memories of the past year lie with the original Yankee stadium, the new stadium is ready to leave a mark on Major League Baseball. To compensate the fans for the loss of the old stadium, the designers brought an “old home” feeling to the new ballpark. Even though the community was not very thrilled for the introduction of the new ballpark, the end result was a beautiful, expensive, and welcoming stadium.

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4 Page 5

Quinn’s Quidditch By Alexis Brunhofer and Laney Harden In a moment of inspiration and creativity, we decided to contact that Einstein of all of things sporty, Michael Quinn, in regard to his proficiency in the art of gym class game creating. With the notice of only one day in advance, we sat down with Quinn to discuss the possibility of adding a game to his repertoire that would top all the rest. This game is known as Quinn’s Quidditch. We got off to a rocky start creating this game. Turns out, our beloved gym teacher “cannot read.” This was a minor

setback because Quinn chasers, the beaters, the snitches to substitute in for needed a refresher course on keeper, and the seeker. The each other when exhaustion the rules of Quidditch. chasers fly around passing became an issue. However, thanks to technol- the quaffle, trying to get it The chasers would throw ogy, Quinn was able to re- into one of the three hoops the balls around to each other, search the topic. “I didn’t on the opponent’s end of the avoiding being hit by the bulknow how to field. The gers (dodge balls), in an atspell Quidditch,” “We need to have keeper’s job is tempt to score. These bludghe admits, with to protect these ers would come by way of the teams made up of g o a l s more confidence a n d beaters who get to have foam members of all “keep” the other bats. Quinn’s idea for the than his situation grades.” would allow. team from scor- three goals is to use hoola With the help of ing the ten hoops on stands, which would the incredible search engine, points for each goal. The be guarded by one keeper on Google, Quinn learned two beaters zoom all over, each end of a soccer field. about the game, and that it is protecting their own team When talking to Quinn, not spelled with a “C.” from the devious bludgers it’s easy to forget he is an auIn the Harry Potter that aim to knock players off thority figure. However, when books, Quidditch works like their broomsticks. he started ranting about the this. There are four differThe seeker has the most need for fairness and equality ent positions for play: the important job of the game. among the teams, we were It is the seeker that is in con- swiftly brought back to reality. stant search for the golden “We need to have teams made snitch, a tiny winged ball up of members of all grades,” that darts around the sta- he said. And in response to (Continued from page 4) that makes the game even dium. Once the seeker our eye rolling cynicism of his Now that you know more fascinating. When, for catches the true hippie nature, what cricket is, perhaps the first time ever, the Aus- snitch, h is “Yes, you need to you can understand why I tralian team beat the English team receives The seeker has the be friends with the think its so great. When I in their opponents’ own 150 points and most important freshmen.” think of the smooth mo- country, Australia was de- the game is job of the game. So, with the new tion of the bowler as he lighted. The Sporting Times over. title of Madame ex ecut es Our adaptation, after Hooch, Quinn will be acting posted an a deliv- When I think of the obituary that some debate, sounds like as referee in the upcoming ery, and smooth motion of the read, “In af- marvelous fun. Quinn de- tournaments. We know we then the f e c t i o n a t e cided that a person rather are very excited about the t w i s t i n g bowler...I cannot help remembrance than an inanimate object prospect of this new game, swing of but admire this awe- of English would be chosen as the and it was clear on Quinn’s the bat as some sport. C r i c k e t , snitch. This person would face that he was too when the the batswhich died at run around trying to avoid suggestion of hockey stick man responds with a the Oval on 29th August, being captured by the two brooms was made. “We’re stroke, I cannot help but 1882, deeply lamented by a seekers. We asked Quinn going to look ridiculous,” he admire this awesome large circle of sorrowing who would play this role of replied, but we could see the sport. You should too! friends and acquaintances. Olympic athlete, with the secret enthusiasm in his eyes, Another aspect of R.I.P. N.B.—The body will endurance to run throughout as he envisioned an entire high cricket that I find interest- be cremated and the ashes an entire game, and the con- school of waddling players. ing is the Test cricket se- taken to Australia.” clusion was met that there ries called the Ashes. It would need to be multiple has an interesting history

Cricket Unknown in US

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4

Page 6

OnLive, Gaming Revamped By Max Fleischer and Nathan Palo For the most part, video games have been sold almost exclusively on either discs or game cartridges. Where music and movies have had the benefit of being simple enough that they can be downloaded in a short time, or streamed over the Internet with almost no delay, modern video games are simply to big and too complex to be downloaded in a reasonable amount of time. An important thing to note when talking about PC games is that they can’t be played on just any computer, a system has to meet certain requirements in order to play it. Overall, video games especially PC games, have always been a costly and upgrade intensive type of media. What if there were a way to stream a game, we're talking any game, over a simple broadband Internet connection straight to your typical mid-range PC or Mac, without any need for any fast processors or topof-the-line graphics cards. This is exactly what California-based OnLive wishes to deliver to the public in order to unify many of today's most popular games, so that they can be accessed anywhere. Essentially the OnLive service consists of a small (1 MB) browser plug-in. Though there is an optional micro-console for controller input TV output. These centers allows you to stream video games over the inter-

net from high-powered data centers which hold all of the games, as well as all of the high-end hardware to power them. This effectively means that if OnLive's service can hold up to its many promises, you would basically have a gaming platform that would never get obsolete you could be able to play the games on almost any PC or Mac.

one millisecond before being sent back as output. This is the time it takes to travel over the Internet and back again. The 1 ms of latency can only be accomplished by the use of a new highly sophisticated type of video compression. This system has been demonstrated successfully under good conditions. But

OnLive controller and box.

The concept is actually quite simple. The input you send through the controller doesn't go straight to your hardware and become visible as output on your monitor. What really happens is that the input you give to the game through the controller is sent across the Internet to their server class computers. There it is processed then sent back as output to your monitor. What really makes this quite a feat, is that through all of these interactions and procedures dealing with these high quality files, the output is only delayed by

most demos have been within about 50 miles of the server, and the server only has to support a small number of players. Whether or not it will actually perform as advertised while supporting large numbers of players is hard to tell. However, from initial tests done with the new platform, it seems that OnLive will actually be able to pull off something that was mostly considered to be a dream in this day and age. If OnLive does pull this off, then it will probably recreate the entertain-

ment industry as we know it; starting with video games. This service could easily offer great film and TV service, including live events, such as sports. Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo are all deeply invested in their consoles, and losing those sales will drastically affect their profits. Producers of computer hardware will also take a hit, as it will likely be much cheaper to use OnLive to play the latest games than to upgrade your PC. OnLive will still have to keep there servers up to date, so the need for hardware isn’t gone. Another major economic effect of OnLive is that it cuts out the middle man. With purely digital distribution, the manufacturing, shipping, and selling of game disks is no longer required. There is also no known way to pirate games from OnLive, or to buy or sell used games. The majority of most game retailer’s profits come from resale, so OnLive could hurt businesses like Gamestop. OnLive is great for developers, because they can create games using the same tools as they would for normal PC games, however, with this new technology, they don’t have to worry about system requirements, which have always been one of the biggest limitations on games. OnLive is also great for publishers, as it is resale and pirate proof. It also has marketing built in. Due to its ad(Continued on page 7)

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4 Page 7

YouTube Cracks Down on Copyrighted Material

OnLive Gaming

By Dylan Baker If you watch a decent num- your video, then you are infringing a ber of videos on the video- copyright and YouTube will remove sharing site, youtube.com, then that aspect of the video that is violatyou have probably noticed an ing the copyright. increase in the number of videos This shift in YouTube’s policy with their audio tracks removed was not only caused by the increase or muted. This is no mistake; in people simply posting songs as YouTube recently installed a pro- videos, but also had a lot to do with a gram that scans the site, looking lawsuit against YouTube involving a for videos that have audio tracks video clip by taken by Robert Tur. that have not been authorized for Robert’s video was posted on Youuse by the artist. Tube without his permission and he This cracking down was is now suing the company for inmost likely triggered by the in- fringement of copyright laws. crease in videos that solely conAs a member and frequent user tain a song and of YouTube mythe title of that As a member and frequent self, it is very obsong. People user of YouTube myself, it is noxious when I can then go to very obnoxious when I have have spent numeryoutube. com hours filming spent numerous hours film- ous and listen to and editing a that music for ing and editing a video, just video, just so it so it can be removed by free or even rip can be removed by the audio from some program that some program the video using cannot judge bea YouTube converter. tween a video that is just a song, and “I find it obnoxious that peo- a video that simply used a song as ple abuse YouTube by simply background music to the main creaputting up unauthorized songs tive piece. If anything else, people without a creative element of might enjoy the song in the backtheir own in the video,” said Sam ground and ask what it is so they can Ross-Smith. “It is these people buy it. In this case, as long as you who ruin it for those who take give credit to the artist and the song the time to put in their own crea- in the video and not claim it to be tive aspect.” your own, it is simply free advertisWhat Sam is referring to is ing for the artist. that the audio on videos is now Due to the new strict policies on being removed automatically YouTube, many people have begun whether they contain an original using other free video hosting sites, creative element or not. It used to such as vimeo.com. Sites like Vimeo be acceptable to use copyrighted are not as strict because they have not material in your video as long as received as much media attention as you gave credit to the artist in YouTube. In the future, these smaller either the video description or the video-hosting sites might come video itself. Today, YouTube across the same issues with copyfollows a much stricter set of right, but for the time being, there are guidelines. If you use any mate- fewer restrictions on what can be uprial, that is not rightfully yours in loaded.

(Continued from page 6)

vanced video compression algorithms, OnLive will be able to show you live video of other players, so you can look and see what the game is like, without having to pay for it. OnLive also benefits the user, as the total operating costs should be much less than other distribution systems. The price will likely undercut the competition, as you can rent a game, or get a free trial in addition to buying the game. OnLive will also have all the social networking ability that is standard on consoles now, as well as many new features. It will also allow for parental controls, so you can restrict it to only allow games below a certain rating, or only allow a limited amount of time to be played per day or week. The biggest downside of the system is that you don’t actually own a copy of the game. If OnLive fails, and the servers go down, then you lose all the money you have paid for games, with no real hope of getting it back. Also, OnLive is dependent on broadband Internet. It doesn’t need a lot, (1.5 Mbps for SD [Standard Definition], 5 Mbps for HD [High Definition]) but the Internet is a finicky thing. If your service goes down, you are SOL until it is back up. Although pricing hasn’t been publicly discussed by OnLive Inc., it will allow people to start playing high end games without a huge investment. Instead of spending hundreds, even thousands of dollars on a gaming PC or a console, plus the price of the games, the Onlive microconsole and web plug in will be very low in price, if not free with a service plan (similar to a cell phone). There will be a monthly fee for the service, and a price on each game. There is a lot of potential in OnLive, and if the service meets the expectations, it will revolutionize gaming, and most other forms of entertainment.

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4

Page 8

Justice For Irradiated Workers?

What Exactly

By Teddy Oja

By Nathan Palo

Many workers of the Cold War controversial procedure that looks have endured radiation symptoms for over the applicants past in an attempt the past decades while waiting for the to discern whether or not the radiation government to help them overcome exposure was due to a hazardous their illnesses. In the year 2000, the work environment. Part of the Charlie Department of Labor created the EnWolf Act is aimed at removing this ergy Employees Occupational Illness procedure altogether and granting Compensation Program to manage the immediate aid to government workers claims of former weapons workers. In presenting radiation symptoms. the nine years since, the program has It is difficult to know how this bill received over 175,000 applications for will be received, as it requires 20 bilfederal aid, 50,000 of which have been lion dollars in federal funding to take compensated. off. With the trouble on Wall Street Many of an overall Radiation poisoning symptoms in- and the applicants economic claim that the clude nausea, vomiting, fatigue, slump, many program is compromised immune defense and will likely disinefficient and miss the bill fever. troublesome, offhand as a and some have accused it of being corwaste of dwindling federal support. rupt. For these reasons, Colorado senaDespite this, Udall refuses to be distor Mark Udall created the Charlie mayed, and continues to plead with Wolf Act, which is aimed at reforming other members of congress to recogthe EEOICP. The act was named for nize the harmed workers as the heroes Charlie Wolf, a former weapons lathey are. borer who appeared in court on numerBut who knows? With the very ous occasions to present his plea before foundation of our government being succumbing to brain cancer. Senator tinkered with by the new, revolutionUdall is once again marshalling toary leaders, perhaps such an issue will gether members of Congress and the get the attention and credence it deJudicial system to help pass his reserves. forms, hoping that a fresh face in the White House will increase his chances. Radiation poisoning symptoms include nausea, vomiting, fatigue, compromised immune defense and fever. Prolonged exposure can result in cancerous growths throughout the body, and extreme radiation exposure often results in death. The EEOICP includes a rather

What exactly is art? Sure, you could make a list of all the things that are art: paintings, sculptures, music, etc. But that doesn’t really define art, and people are constantly coming up with new forms of art. Art tends to be looked down on, because it has no “practical” value. The typical thought about art majors is that they couldn’t do anything else, so they settled for art. But art has a much deeper importance than it is often given. Creating art is often the best way to express oneself, and Abstract art. has the benefit of communicating complex emotions that are otherwise impossible to articulate. Experiencing art created by others is quite possibly more beneficial, as it can give new perspective and meaning, as well as entirely new thoughts and ideas. Part of the reason that art is misunderstood by many people, is that they see something labeled as art, but don’t think it actually is. Things as basic as one or two shapes are often art, but anyone with a camera can instantly call themselves an artistic photographer. But these things aren’t always art. If you take a picture completely at random, then it has no meaning to it, it might look cool and it

Write for the C.O.W., man! [email protected]

Bart Simpson © Matt Groening

How many cows does The Watchmen deserve? How many cows does I Love You, Man get? Rate recent movies with cows for the C.O.W.

(Continued on page 9)

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4 Page 9

Is Art? Can It Be Defined?

NarniAstrology By Chloe Prendergast and Laney Harden

(Continued from page 8)

could be used as part of an artistic piece, but without intentionally being created as art, it won’t be art. That doesn’t necessarily mean that random things can’t be art In fact, there is a certain element of randomness in every art form. Paints aren’t exactly uniform in color; stone to make sculptures isn’t always the same color or consistency. The smallest things can affect an artist’s thoughts, from a butterfly floating on the wind, to the wind of a butterfly’s wings. One of the most alluring aspects of art is that it is hard to define; the Mona Lisa The Mona Lisa, by Leonardo da Vinci, hangs in would be pretty boring the Louvre Museum in Paris, France. if we knew why she smiled. Each artist is unique, Chronicles of Waldorfia and so is each artwork they Survey Results create, and in turn, each person reacts to that artwork in a What is your favorite class? unique way; this means it is 66%: Journalism impracticable to generalize 33%: Art art. Favorite part of the auction? When it comes down to 100%: The Food it, I think the defining factor Death by vampire or werewolf? of art is that it expresses something, but in order to 100%: Vampire express something, that thing has to exist, and someone has Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares or Bourdain: No Reservations? to understand that expression, even if they understand 50%: No Reservations it differently than the creator 50%: Undecided intended.

Aries: Deep within your subconscious, your idols are Sigfried and Roy. The yearning to be like them will spring forth this week, and you will become a lion-tamer for the circus! You will travel the world and be honored by many. Your Aries is Lucy Taurus: Great fortune is coming your way! This week you will win one million dollars, but only in bus passes! This will disappoint you so much that you will decide to run a campaign against public transportation. Your Taurus is Mr. Tumnus Gemini: Here comes the bride…or the groom? You will get married this week to someone you least expect who’s name begins with a D. The wedding will be the most talked about event of the season! Your Gemini is Peter Cancer: You will receive a letter addressed to you this week. When you open it, you will find that a dead great uncle you never knew you had has left you a pet llama named Horatio. It will become your best friend. Your Cancer is Edmund Leo: Your creative side will blossom this week! You will have a vision that will prompt you to invent a time machine. However, when you go on the ride to the past, you will get stuck in colonial England. Forever. Your Leo is Aslan (the lion) Virgo: You will go on an exotic expedition, and as your strolling along an abandoned path somewhere in the Amazon, you will save a bus from driving off a cliff. You will then be presented on honor by the tribal chief and worshiped by people everywhere. Your Virgo is Mr. Beaver Libra: You will feel adventurous this week, and when you start digging a hole to China, you will discover a new type of dinosaur! The bones will be collected and you will be known forever as Dinosaur Doug, regardless what your true name is. Your Libra is The DLF (dear little friend, the dwarf) Scorpio: I am very sorry to say, this is not your (Continued on page 10)

Chronicles of Waldorfia Page 10

Horoscopes

Easter Road Trippin’ By Emma Franklin

(Continued from page 9)

week. Unfortunately, your worst fear will come to reality. While it may seem like the end of the world, keep on fighting, for Venus is about to align with Mars and your luck will return! Your Scorpio is the White Witch Sagittarius: Life will change drastically this week for you. You will be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, move in with them, and change your name to Roseleaf. Your Sagittarius is the Centaur Capricorn: You have an old soul that has seen many lifetimes. Because of this, you will discover your passion for quilting. Purses, hats, nose-warmers, toe socks, and bermuda shorts will be your specialties. Your Capricorn is Susan Aquarius: All is not what it seems. This week you will be attacked by a harmless-looking goose as you walk to the antiques store in search of Tabasco sauce. This goose will peck off a large chunk of skin from your upper thigh, which will give you a macho scar. Your Aquarius is Mrs. Beaver Pisces: This week is your lucky week! As you are shopping at the mall with your grandmother, you will meet the Jonas brother of your choice. He will fall in love with you immediately and write you a love song, which he will perform with his brothers at their concerts and will become a MASSIVE hit. Your Pisces is Prince Caspian

Volume 1, Issue 4

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4 Page 11

Grievous and Gloomy Goodbye, Gladys and Gregg some fashion advice from Gregg! And Gladys was going to teach me to knit proportionally to my head.” Nick: (Giving the two each a tender hug) “Don’t worry brothers, a little bit longer, and we’ll be fine. But let’s get out of here, I’m burning up.”

Gossip Group here, your one and only (reliable) source into the scandalous lives of Waldorf’s elite. -Ding dongGregg: “Gladdie, I do believe I hear the doorbell. Who could that be?” Gladys: “Oh my goodness, I so hope it is my monthly subscription to Seventeen!” Gregg: “Oh yes! Seventeen has the best makeup tips.” A pause, while the two consider their great love and devotion to Seventeen Magazine, followed by a loud and impatient knock. Gregg stirs himself from his recliner with a groan despite his eagerness to find out the 5 best ways to dress for your body type. He disappears from the room, and from a distance, Gladys hears the door open, a short moment of silence, and then a heavy thud. Gladys: “Greggie-kins, whatever is going on? Invite Beatrice in for some tea.” When there is no response, Gladys rouses herself to scold Gregg for his inattention to her. Gladys pads down the hallway, rounds the corner, and beholds

In loving memory of Gladys and Gregg Gibbous.

three shockingly magnificent and curly haired gods. Her first thought was, “My, they are shorter in person,” but this was only because they were kneeling around a fallen figure. Overcome with the intense emotion of seeing her true love surrounded by her idols, Gladys dropped down dead at Gregg’s side, leaving the Jonas Brothers staring in disbelief at their former biggest fans. Kevin: “Oh man, I really wanted to give them the VIP

behind the stage passes for our next concert.” Joe: “That is truly a bummer. I was hoping to get

You know you love us, XOXO -Gossip Group. THE END

Solution to last issue’s crossword

Gladys and Gregg Credits: Laney Harden as Gregg Gibbous Alexis Brunhofer as Gladys Gibbous

Corrections to last issue’s crossword clues: Across: 50 should be 51 Down: 16 should read “Equal to one thousand joules of energy per second.” 20 should be 21 54 should read “Cartwright club, abbr.”

Chronicles of Waldorfia

Volume 1, Issue 4

Page 12

By Ana Spotts and Alexis Brunhofer

Farewell C.O.W. By Teddy Oja You’ve read our tales And turn-of-phrase, Heard our jokes That brightened your days. You’ve learned of sports, Which truly suck, And heard senile gossip (Not of you, if you’re in luck). The horoscopes Have told you much About things to come And Disney and such. You’ve suffered through The news of the nerdy, But we hope our stories Were not too wordy For the tastes and talents Of this, our Waldorf school. And now, in closing: Hell yeah! We rule!

Cryptogram

By Nathan Palo

A cryptogram is a word puzzle that requires you to solve a substitution cipher. Each letter is assigned a different letter number or symbol, and the phrase or quote is written using the substitute letters. Some letters are given at the beginning, use repeated letters and small words to help solve.

for sale Children’s twin bunk bed Used Beautiful pine bunk bed for sale!!!! Don’t let your children miss the excitement of having their very own bunk bed! Never have to coax your child into bed again! Great for minimal space, have two beds in one room where only one would be possible! Only $200.00 Matching five drawer dresser is available at $150.00 Call Larry for more information at 303-733-8641

The Chronicles of Waldorfia is published by the Denver Waldorf High School Eleventh Grade. This publication is in conjunction with a block about journalism and under the supervision of John Reinhart. The C.O.W. welcomes your feedback. Please direct your correspondence to the address below. The C.O.W. does not necessarily represent the views of the Denver Waldorf School or its community.