Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings Volume 3

BEYOND IMAGINATION 2003 Musings - Vol III

by

Wayne Hartman

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INTRODUCTION Namaste! Welcome to my world! On these pages you will find a stream of consciousness expression … one that I have actively been participating in for just over a decade. The snapshot here comes from the period from September through December of 2003. As you’ll see, it was quite a productive period of time for this expression. The musings occurred nearly daily … 104 times in 122 days in fact. The expression comes to roughly 400 pages and just over 156,000 words. Yes, that is a lot for one-third of a year. But, what can I say? That is what I was moved to express, and what I am moved to share. My hope is that you find this mind-expanding or better yet consciousness-expanding. It should cause you to stretch outside of the normal confines of your consciousness into a wonderful new domain. If it does, I have done my job well. There is a reason that spirit expresses through me in the manner that she does. This is to be an example of what is possible for you to experience as well. By following this record of my stream of consciousness, you get to taste a sample of what is possible. What I can do, you can do also. No, not necessarily in the same manner. Written expression may not be your forte. But, there is some manner of creative expression that is right for you. This is something you will have to find for yourself. Some of this material may provide you with some insight as to where to look. By all means use whatever parts of it you find applicable and useful to your life. Only you will know what these are. Not everything is for everyone. But there is enough variety in this expression that there is probably something for everyone. These are the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. I don’t know how to prepare you for what they convey other than to have you experience them directly. They come from a source inside of me. Even after a decade, I still don’t know if this source is a part of me or not. It is simply there. The words just appear in my mind. I don’t plan any of this communication, I simply allow it to manifest through me. The expression is ordered by day, as it was expressed. The only editing was some spell checking and minor grammar correction. It seemed that the date ordering of the material was appropriate somehow … at least for this product. There are two major sections in what follows. The first section has the day by day musings as they came forth from September through December of 2003. It covers the first 408 or so pages. The second section is a selection of best quotes from this expression. These are literally what I consider to be the gems of what came forth from consciousness during this time. xxx passages were selected for this section, with the date ordering remaining intact. I hope that you enjoy what you find here. More than that, I hope that it helps you to awaken to see parts of yourself that you never knew you never knew. One challenge from all of this is for you to expand your reality framework to account for the fact that an expression such as this could continue to come forth through me in the manner that it did in such a short period of time at the end of 2003. It is possible. It did happen. That, in itself, says a lot about the creativity of consciousness as she expresses through us. Yet, what I can do, you can do also. I came as a wayshower. Part of showing the way for me is sharing the fruits of what my consciousness is able to produce. That is what I do at my Beyond Imagination website: http://www.redshift.com/~beyond And, that is what I do here in the pages that follow. I hope that they bring to you some fraction of the joy and wonder they have brought into my life. 3

Something that came forth in January of 1996 is particularly appropriate here:

I come to be gently caressed by consciousness. Yes, I sing her name a lot. She is on my mind incessantly. It is through her that I came to life, and through her that I will live the role that I am meant to live. What is she? I cannot say. But, she is older than time and wiser than any who have walked clothed in flesh. She speaks through us all. Yeah, she is the spirit within us all – always there to guide us if only we had the sense to listen to her. She is the ONE, though she be expressed as many. She is called by many names, though most are not aware of her existence. She is greater than the Gods, though in ways that are beyond imagining. The poets have known her as the muse, and she was indeed responsible for their inspiration. She has existed since the beginning of time, and even before that. Her face can be found everywhere throughout the world, yet where there is beauty, doth she shine most brightly.

It is in this sense that all of this expression comes forth as musings from the source within me herself. Enjoy! Be Happy and Create Well! I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! LOVE, Wayne Redondo Beach, January 2004

Feel free to contact me if you relate strongly to this material or you have feedback to provide. I’m looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.

Wayne Hartman 1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278 4

[email protected]

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Musings of a Spiritual Warrior 1 September 2003 The first day of a new month ... and the start of a new third of the year. That puts us at the 66.6 percent point for the year. Interesting, one of the forms for the beast. Skipping the month, what is prominent is 1 -- 2 -- 3 = 2 13 from the middle out. That begs to be filled in with something. "To the death of" ___ ? We've seen 21341, the number of my badge at work. But this condition is only going to last for one day this month. Interesting. 123 = 3 x 41 = Triangle of Wayne: Ace of Cups. That suggests that we have established a framework for abundance to kick in. It is curious that any day now we will have our third book officially published and available for purchase. There is also 23 - 21 from the middle right to middle left. Those are the numbers for wayne ellis, my first two names. I'm curious, September = 19/24/31/33/38/42/44/49/58. That is the year of my birth = 1958. Just noticed something interesting. The onset of the daily musings occurred just prior to my 44th birthday. That would be as I was completing the path for "wayne ellis". It is particularly curious that the final letter "s" only covers a 1 year span of time. Now, it seems that there is a choice as to what comes next ... jr or hartman. If it is jr, we have a 1 year span that covers our 45th year ... this year, followed by a 9 year span that takes us to 2012. That is our second Easter birthday. This is the first time we have seen it to have some numerological significance. Hartman gave us breaks at 8/9/18/20/24/25/30. Particularly absent were 1 and 10. However, note that 20 and 30 still activate the energies at 74 and 84 respectively. The biggest difference is now 54 = LOVE gets activated at an important life point. "wayne jr" in a similar vein takes us to 23 10 = 33: The Master Teacher. Another interesting revelation. It is amazing what is buried in a few simple numbers. But, spirit is very resourceful. She makes maximum use of all that she is given to work with. And symbol systems are one such area where there is much freedom to express meaning in an endless number of ways. Another long weekend has passed by in a blur. Though I still have several hours available to express and work today. I say work because I consider proofing to be work and at the rate I proof, there is still about 5 hours of that to do this week. Yes, I put a lot of time into this expression. My hope is that it will be worth it ... worth it to those who consume it and benefit from it, and worth it to me in terms of the abundance that it generates to do the works of Beyond Imagination. Actually, when it comes down to it ... it seems that even without these things I would be expressing anyway, because this is simply something that I must do. In a way, this expression defines whom that I am. I am the one through whom such an expression could come. Though that doesn't really tell you much about me. It focuses on one of the things that I have done. A very important thing, yes ... and it is true that ye shall know them by their works. But there is a difference between the works and the entity through whom the works are done. What is missing in my life are those who would know whom that I AM. Perhaps, I am destined to live a life of relative isolation ... and people will never find this part of me. Though, at this point, that is not my desire. I would have people take the step to go from the works to the person behind the works. I believe that part of that is revealed in the expression itself. But I am glad to reveal more on request. This expression in many ways constitutes the book of my life. However, I am not fully in control of what is revealed. There is an inner source that directs the flow of consciousness that is recorded here. For the most part, it is as if I am along for the ride. It is still amazing that after over a decade the process remains essentially the same as it was in the beginning. I have no foreknowledge of what is coming. I have some limited ability to guide the expression, but this is truly consciousness show. She expresses as she will. Yes, she. That is how I experience source. I have never been moved to ask why it comes forth in this 6

manner. I have simply accepted the process for what it is and trusted that I was experiencing exactly what I needed to experience. I considered this to be a gift from spirit from the very beginning. This was all part of a spiritual awakening process. It didn't matter that no one else in my world at the time understood it to be such. What mattered was what I was experiencing ... and there was no doubt, I was going through a spiritual awakening. In some respects, I still am. The process that started in 1993 continues to this day. Not a week goes by without achieving some new realization. No, these are not as big as the ones in 1993 and 1998 ... but the aftershocks continue nonetheless. It seems time to start doing something different. If I want to experience something different in my reality, I need to do something different. For the past several months we have been engaged in publishing books. That meets the criteria. But, that is nearly done now and it is time to start doing something more. It is time to become more outgoing somehow. It is time to outreach in a manner that introduces the Beyond Imagination site and books to many. It is not clear at this time how to do that. It will definitely be a stretch for me. I know that. But stretching is good for the soul. It seems that it is time to change my ways somehow. The key question is how? What do I want to do next? What reality do I want to create? How do I imagine myself living and working in the days ahead? Unless I can imagine it ... there is no way for me to create it. I have been satisfied with leaving all of this to spirit to date. I kept my beliefs in relatively good order, and trusted spirit to present me with the reality that I needed to experience. She's done that. She moved me to work toward publishing eight books in 2003. She even came through with the funds to cover three of them effectively out of thin air. Every sign seems to indicate that I am on the right course ... that I am doing what needs to be done. Then, why this gnawing feeling that there is something I am missing ... that there is something more that I could be doing?

2 September 2003 Here we go again. What can I say? Consciousness still moves us to express in this manner. So long as that is the case, we will give her the forum in which to speak. Yes, this is a choice that I make. It is an important choice regarding where I choose to expend my free time. Yet, it is here in this expression that I find myself doing something of value ... something that is potentially of great importance not only to me but to the world. Yes, it is audacious of me to think in this manner. But, how would you think if all of this was coming forth through you. Actually, in a sense, if you are reading this it is coming forth through you ... just in a different way. That is part of what this expression is all about, capturing a stream of consciousness so that others can walk in my mindsteps for awhile. No ... it is not easy walking. I know that. In fact, at times it is downright strange. But, it is what it is. It is a stream of consciousness that I was moved to capture. Do with it what you will. Use it to move you into ever grander states of your own making. I am a wayshower. I am here to point the way. It is for you to follow the guidance as it applies to you and find the way that is right for you. There is no one way that is the way, that is right for everyone. Each way is only a way, and may or may not apply to any given individual. We must find what works for us. This will be different for each of us. What am I moved to do next? What else would I create in my life? What else would it take for me to abide by my own parting remark and "Be Happy and Create Well"? Being happy is a choice that we make each and every moment of each and every day. We can make this choice regardless of what is going on in our lives at the moment. We can choose to be happy anyway. The very fact that we are alive at such an incredible time is something to be happy about. The fact that there is so much potential for manifesting a new world order that is spiritually based is also amazing. Many people look upon a new world order as a negative thing. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be quite positive. Much of the fear comes from a mistaken understanding of how the new world order might use or abuse the power granted to them. Why is it so difficult to believe that human nature is basically good? Why is it so difficult to believe that 7

people naturally want to do the right thing? Yes, we have history books full of cases where the opposite has been true. But are these typical ... or, are they notable exceptions? John Lennon's song Imagine plays in the background as I write this. That could easily be a theme song for Beyond Imagination. What he imagines ... we want to take the next step and manifest on Earth. Can we do that? I sincerely believe that we can. It is possible. And further, it is one of the major tasks that we came to do. Interesting, I say we but who am I referring to by this? Me and spirit? Me and others yet unknown? At the same time, the tense seems appropriate somehow. This is a joint endeavor that we are engaged in ... not something that I am doing alone. Then again, is there anything that I truly do alone? It seems that consciousness, at the very least, is always by my side. At some point it seems that others will be as well. But, we are not at that point yet. Is there anything that I can do to accelerate when we will reach that point? Or, is this one of those things that we simply have to allow to happen when it happens? There is a strong sense of the later. However, this comes with an understanding that as the creator of my own reality there are some things that I can do to facilitate the process. What these are I do not yet know. But awareness that they exist is the first step. There are millions of people that have heard the song Imagine many times over the years. How many of these have truly reflected on what the lyrics say? How many of these believe what the lyrics say? How many of these are willing to do something to manifest the changes that the song speaks of? I for one do! Change starts with one person believing enough in something to be willing to do what it takes to manifest it. Though, doing whatever it takes may require enlisting others to assist in the endeavor. Some things require teams of people to manifest. That is OK. We just need to find the right team members and creator the right work environment for them to operate efficiently and effectively. This can happen naturally. But, it seems that more and more we are being asked to facilitate it. How to build effective teams is a challenge. But, we can apply what has worked in the best working environments to our endeavors here. The domain may be different, but similar processes definitely apply. While many new age concepts are whimsical and many spiritual theories are indeed untestable, that by no means applies to all of them. We don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. After all, in the early 1900's there were legitimate scientists with proofs that people could never travel faster than 30 MPH. The scientific method when it is applied in the wrong way can lead to highly erroneous and whimsical theories as well. Yes, we are all in 3D, but we are not of 3D. But, where do you place thought and consciousness? Are these simply chemical and electrical processes going on in the brain. I find that extremely difficult to accept ... especially given the nature and quantity of what has been expressed through me over the past decade. My sense of things is that consciousness and awareness are synergistic phenomena. They are more than any of their parts would suggest as possible. I would go so far as to suggest that there is a soul that is non-physical that is associated with each of us, and that we are the physical projection of that soul. How much can be projected depends on what we do to create a vessel through which that soul can express. That is where some of the new age disciplines come into play. In particular, those that involve getting us better in touch with our intuition. When you say 3D is the only reality that exists ... I beg to differ. The world of our imagination is just as real as 3D. It is expressed in art, in song, in books, in poetry, in dance, in philosophy and thought and in any number of creative ways. Some of these are more physical than others. It is also expressed in dreams, though personally I have limited recollection of such. It doesn't matter whether what we perceive agrees with what is out there in the "real world". The very act of perceiving it as we do makes it our reality. To some of us, the world of ideas ... of ideals, is just as real, if not more real than the world of form. In fact, we consider ourselves to be in the process of manifesting the world of our imaginations. That takes 8

more that thinking about it or wishing for it to be so. That requires taking action consistent with manifesting what we believe that we want to create and experience. Thoughts do have power! The right thoughts at the right times in the right minds have the power to change the world. But only if they cause people to DO SOMETHING that results in the necessary changes. Some may be able to reach a level of control where they are indeed masters that control their lives via their thoughts. What if you are wrong Melissa? What if it is you who are deluding yourself believing that you have far less power than you really do? It is not so much thoughts that create reality, it is beliefs. We co-create our reality in accord with our beliefs. To change our reality, we must change our beliefs ... or change how we are interpreting what we are experiencing. Often, it is not what happens that matters, it is what meaning we assign to what happens. Even in a physical body, we have far more creative power than we can imagine ... primarily because this power comes from a source that interfaces with us from outside of the physical. It is there inside of us, ready to guide us if only we quiet ourselves and choose to listen to what it has to say. Choosing a life of spirit is not a matter of checking out, rather it is really a matter of checking in, in the grandest way that we can at this time in this existence. We are spirit experiencing an incarnation in flesh. That is true for all of us. It seems too many have focused so much on being flesh that they have forgot that their true nature is spirit. As to when the grim reaper gets us … we will choose the time, place, and circumstances for that as well. No, not consciously necessarily. But, we either co-create our reality or we don't. There is no gray area here. And, there is no doubt either ... we definitely create and are responsible for it all, no fine print, no exceptions. It seems that we live in very different prisons. I, too, see that we are in bondage, but it is a bondage of our own making that we are free to rise from and lift at any time. Yours, however seems to be a forever kind of thing. What purpose is there to such an existence? Everything that I see tells me that there is a divine plan unfolding on a very large scale. It is a plan that involves the evolution of the physical vessels in which consciousness can express in flesh. For the most part these have been limited to individuals thus far. But, we are starting to see organizations being born that embody a collective spiritual consciousness. As the times progress we shall see more and more of this. At some point, we are going to realize that we are ONE WORLD, and that there is ONE CONSCIOUSNESS that animates us all. When that happens we will truly see changes that are wonderful to behold. My sense is that something is pulling the world and associated forms within the world toward ideals that permit the greater expression of spirit. This is not happening randomly. The world doesn't naturally evolve toward greater order and complexity. Yet, that is what we observe happening. Someday, we are going to include the spiritual component in our "equations" and explanations of things. Personal Power is the ability to apply one's skills and talents to co-create the reality that one prefers to experience. Living free from fear and free from external control are decent major objectives. How much difference will this make? Without these "tools", there would simply be no way for me to do what I am here to do ... in my case, create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. 9

The expression that is Beyond Imagination requires tapping source via intuition on nearly a daily basis for close to 3 hours. In a decade, I have over 3 million words of expression, most of which is posted at my site. There is a difference between where you want to be and where you need to be. It seems that spirit ensures that I am always at the later ... but perhaps not at the former. It is not clear how much of that is due to unrealistic or unreasonable wants however. I have goals along the way. Publishing 8 books this year is one. Publishing 12 books by the end of 2004 is another. Earning my living doing what I love to do is third major one. Though for this, it seems the time frame is up to spirit. As to how I'll know when I'm finished, that one is easy ... I'll be dead.

3 September 2003 Yesterday's musing was interesting. It is not often that I get to respond to anything or anyone. It made for a refreshing change. Perhaps that is a sample of what is in store in the days ahead as we take this expression public. It is high time that we started to interact with others in the world far more than we have to date. That is not hard to do considering far more than virtually nothing does not have to be much. Yet, there is a sense that despite my hermit ways to date ... there is a hidden side of me that is a far more social creature. I don't believe that I would even be expressing in this manner and sharing this expression in this way if such were not the case. Clearly I am different than most people. What moves me, what stirs me, what excites me, what motivates me, what drives me are very different for me than for others. Yet, I am flesh and bones. I have two arms and two legs and a head just as anyone else. The body is the same. The brain may even be similar. But the programming that has been experienced for 45 years is distinct for each of us. Though, part of this programming is in the very genetic structure that composes all life. It is interesting that the Human Genome Project is close to reaching its objective. One doesn't hear much about it anymore. Perhaps they have completed the task. I know that it was a cooperative effort involving researchers throughout the world. It makes you wonder how many other grand things might be accomplished if we cooperated and committed the appropriate resources to them. One area ripe for study is the brain, the mind, and the nature of consciousness. I read something today that said that in its heyday during the Apollo flights and moon landings, NASA received 1 percent of the budget. However, since then, this has dropped substantially. It was suggested that we raise this again and use the increases to fund manned missions to Mars among other projects. We'll have to see if the Senator from Texas that was proposing this can garner the necessary support. What if we chose to spend 1 percent of the budget on brain/mind/consciousness research? What advances and benefits might come from such an investment? 1 percent is not much. However, looked at another way ... if you spent 1 percent on each thing you could only do 100 things. And some thing such as defense, education, healthcare, welfare, government are probably going to take more than 10 percent each. So, how do we get support for the 1 percent solution. It is not as if it would be wasted. Initially, it would go primarily into research grants. Graduate students are still some of the most cost effective resources we have for doing work. They are highly educated and highly motivated. And, typically, their lifestyles are such that they can get by on much less than those working in the private sector. If we can give them something to truly sink their teeth into, I think we'll be amazed by what they are able to come up with. Further, it is not strictly the scientists that we seeking out here. How the mind functions and the nature of consciousness need to be tackled from a variety of disciplines. What is important is to find people good at observing and recording what they observe. What they will be observing primarily is the mental states, the states of consciousness, of themselves and others. Yes, much of this will be subjective ... and highly subjective at that. That is part of the nature of the beast that we are dealing with. 10

The file name for today is interesting. It includes 30903. That comes across as 9:00:33 = The Hermit: Source : The Master Teacher. Is that what I have become. It seems that such is definitely what I could be. It is simply a matter of choice. It seems that my destiny is in my hands now. Perhaps it has always been ... only now, I am truly aware of it as I have never been before. It will be interesting to see what comes of this. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to create and who is attracted into my reality as a result. Spent several hours finishing the selections of best quotes for 2003 Musings - Vol II. We should be able to wrap that up and send it to the publisher early next week. It looks like it is going to come in at about 560 pages ... including 104 pages of quotes. What can we say, another sizeable work. I'm ready to be done with it and see what I will be moved to do next. There is still nearly 1/3 of a year to go in 2003. I find it amazing reflecting back on how much has been accomplished in nine months. Yet, it seems that is only a sample of things to come. Eight books ... we are so close to having eight books completed in 2003 that we can taste it. We are down to one final pass and numbering of the quotes and implementation of final proofing corrections. These are things that are well within our control to complete. That is one of the nice things about this expression and about self-publishing. The bulk of it is under my control, even if I don't know what will be expressed in a given musing on a given day. Once the words are generated, however, getting them into a form to be published is completely under my control. I format and proof the material and I generate the required excerpts and descriptions. This is easier than most people might think. It really is easy to get published these days, and it does not take a lot of money. For $400, you can publish a book. I've chosen to do that seven times this year and am about ready to commit to an eighth. Will there be a return on my investment? The money is nothing compare to the hours that have been involved over the years. In fact there have been many more hours than dollars.

4 September 2003 My the days fly by. We are already four days into the month. So far, we have a streak going ... but I wouldn't count on it continuing as long as some of the streaks in the past. It just doesn't seem to be as important anymore. We have shown what we can do for over 20 months. That is long enough to have established a pattern. That is not to say the musings will end anytime soon. It seems that they will at least continue through the end of the year. It is just that the sense of urgency has stepped down a notch. I can still feel it. I am still moved to come here to express. However, it seems that I could just as easily be moved to use the time on other Beyond Imagination endeavors. It is time for a new direction for this expression. I guess that could happen within the confines of the expression itself. Hmm ... I hadn't really thought of that. The other alternative is to consciously express in other ways. There are probably a host of other alternatives I haven't yet considered as well. We'll just have to see what I am moved to do. Right now, at this moment, this is it. What the morrow will bring, only spirit knows. I really don't like the task of proofing, and I'm probably not the best at it. Yet, I don't have the resources to hire it out at the present time ... and I don't know anyone who would consider doing it on their own without compensation. So, as usual, that leaves me to do it. That gets to the issue of how do we make the work of Beyond Imagination more than an endeavor of one. Yes, I can do a lot. But, that is still highly limited compared to what a group cooperating together could achieve. How do I attract and organize such a group? Is that what is meant for Beyond Imagination? I strongly believe that it is ... though I have no evidence that would prove this yet, only an inner sense that what we are doing is meant to have world impact somehow, and that can't happen as a solitary endeavor. My life has been so isolated to date that I really have no basis for understanding just how different things are going to be in my life in the future. The only thing that guides me is an inner knowingness that what I 11

am experiencing right now is limited and is definitely not all there is. Spirit has more in store for me than this ... of that much I am sure. This expression is this prolific for a reason. Yet, there is also some reason that my nature is as solitary as it has been for my whole life. That I could reach this point and these conclusions given these conditions and experiences says a lot about the nature of consciousness and spiritual expression. Exactly what it says ... we'll leave that for you to determine for yourself. This expression gives you more than enough to draw conclusions from. Expressing freely is a necessary condition for happiness for me, but it is not a sufficient condition. There is still something that is missing from my life ... something very important. If I knew what it was, I would be doing something about it. I know that it involves others somehow. It involves creating a community, a society that I would want to be a part of. We have a great deal of information about this at the Beyond Imagination site. The issue before us is how do we manifest it in flesh? How do we make it part of our reality? What events would cause my life to open up? It seems that I can't necessarily count on outer events to do this. Then, what inner events would trigger these changes? Is this something that I can just consciously decide and then make so? Or, is there more to it involved than this? I'm really breaking new ground here. At 45, this is the first time in my life where I've felt so strongly that I need to connect with others somehow. You might say "It's about time". And, I guess you would be right. But, my life has been what it has been. Further, there is a sense that this is as it needed to be to allow me to develop into whom I have become. OK, perhaps not every aspect of it. But, much of it. We experience what we need to experience to learn and to grow into whom that we need to be to carry out our missions in the world. At least, that is how I see things from my perspective. I'm sure there are other perspectives. I'm sure there are others who are not as enamored of where there experiences have brought them as I am. But, we create the reality that we experience. And, we do this whether we believe that we do or not. Life is unfolding before us each and every moment. And, what a grand process it is to behold. Spirit animates it all, every aspect of it ... the bad as well as the good. There is nothing but spirit in expression. Oh, in some areas things are far darker than in other areas. There is a play of light and dark that is underway. And we are the actors and players within that play ... creating and experiencing our reality. But, there is a playwright and a director pulling the strings behind the scenes. I consider this to be spirit herself or the one consciousness. How far does the play analogy go? How much of the play is planned out in advance? Are we as individuals part of that planning process? Do we participate consciously, other than consciously, or both? To what degree is free will allowed in the play? How much free will do we really have? How would we even know? It seems that most of the times there are so many factors in our decisions that it is not clear how we make them anyway. What would be the difference between making a choice and appearing to make a choice? We can never go back to the point of the choice and pick a different alternative.

5 September 2003 Wow, how could I neglect to mention another major milestone yesterday? Book number three, 2003 Musings - Vol I was officially published. I consider a book published when it is available for purchase from the publishers online bookstore. How many people have published books? I would guess that this is a small fraction of the population. We now have three with a total of close to 1400 pages of nonfiction expression. We also have four more books in the publishers hands and a fifth that we should be able to send to the publisher next week. That gets us to our goal of publishing eight books in 2003. Though the final one should be published within a couple of weeks of the end of the year. Hmm ... Been there, done that, what's next? I don't know where that came from but all of a sudden it was there. But, there is a 12

sense that it is time to move onto something new. And, I mean really new, something that I have not done before. It will be interesting to see what that is. I'm sure it will be revealed over time. However, it seems that this is something that I need to seek out as well. It is time to take a more active roll in what I am creating. I have allowed spirit to operate as she will in my life. That is all well and good. But, there are things that I can do just as well for myself ... and it seems time for me to start doing these. I need to reflect a bit on my life to see what these are. But the sense is that they will be fairly obvious once I go seeking for them. Mu - sings of a Spiritual Warrior. Mu was another name for Lemuria, the lost continent. There is a sense that all of this is the song of Mu somehow. That is what consciousness is expressing here, at least to the degree that I can receive the message and serve as a channel for it. Interesting. There was a series of five books by James Churchward if memory serves me that dealt with Mu and its symbols. I recall reading them, but have no memory of what I read at this point. So many things have been ingested over the years that I have no idea where they went or how they got tied to other things in my framework. At this point, it doesn't seem to matter. I am what I am here and now ... and that is what I have to deal with. That is my present reality. Though, this reality is changing even as we speak and only partially by things that I am doing consciously. There is still a great deal going on at other than conscious levels behind the scenes. And, this is well and good. If we had to take care of the details for everything we would go nuts and never get anything done. It helps to trust that there is a host of unseen elves waiting to do our bidding. However, they get their direction not from what we say, but from what we believe. Just checked. The next three books were sent to the publisher on July 7 and 8. It typically takes them around two months to do their thing and get a proof copy to me. That means we should see something in the next week or two at the latest on all three of these books. That should put them in the published category by mid-October. This will be a major step ... doubling the number of Beyond Imagination books. It is interesting that the total page count is approximately another 1400 as well bringing us to 2800. But, will the books sell? Will they find an audience that they serve? I believe that they are original and have something to offer people. I know that they have offered me a lot over the years. I know that it is important to have examples of where other consciousnesses have been to allow us to grow and expand our own consciousness. That is the primary benefit of this expression. Here, I share whom that I am and what is able to be expressed from source through me freely and openly. I also invite feedback ... though it seems my invitations fall on deaf ears much of the time. That, or people simply aren't moved to provide such feedback. That is OK. I'll continue to express as I am moved to express anyway. There is a strong sense that we do this because we must. There is something about this expression that is important. Further, there is something about sharing this expression that is important. This is not just some diary that I am writing to for my own personal use. Nearly daily, I post what has come forth and make it available for the world to see. Why do I do that? Why am I moved to share in this manner? I've known since early on that this communication was not for me alone. The Beyond Imagination web site was created in 1995, and from that time on most of the Beyond Imagination expression has been captured as web pages and posted to the site as they were generated. Looking back, I believe this openness and willingness to share was instrumental in allowing much of the expression to come forth as it did. How do we get people to visit Beyond Imagination and see the wealth of metaphysical material we have to offer? Literally, we have several thousands of pages of information in over 1000 files. Nearly all of the material came through me. All of the material came through since 5 March 1993. Most of the material is stream of consciousness expression, but it is my stream of consciousness ... and that seems to be unlike any other that I've encountered. Not that I've encountered many. As a hermit, I don't get out much ... except into the world of ideas and books. But even there, I haven't encountered anything similar to what is expressed through me. That doesn't make it superior in any way, it just makes it different. This 13

is not surprising. I would be a unique individual and would choose to do things my way. Being normal or being part of the crowd do not appeal to me at all. Though, there is a part of me that would be happy to do my work in the background rather than in the limelight. Whether that will come to pass or not remains to be seen.

6 September 2003 Well, we're off to a good start for the month. We haven't missed a day of expression yet. That despite the fact that we are busily working on the final touches to 2003 Musings - Vol II so that we can send it to the publisher this week. That will get us to our goal of eight books published for the year. That is an amazing feat especially since we didn't find out about self-publishing and begin in earnest until around March. Yes, that definitely makes this a year to remember. Further ... while the publishing side is done for the year due to the 3 month process time; there is still close to 1/3 of a year to do creative work and express what consciousness would express through us. Who knows what will be created in that time. Whatever it is will be the basis for works published in 2004. We're less than 4 months away and I still have no clue as to what the focus for 2004 will be. Why is that? Do I have a need to know? Apparently not. If I needed to know, I would know. My sense is that I am to live my life in the moment ... in the here and now, doing what I am moved to do in the moment, trusting that what I am moved to do is exactly what needs to be done. That doesn't mean that I should ignore any feedback from the world. Quite the contrary ... I am to invite it and use it to help guide my endeavors. But what about plans? What about projections of how we would have things be in the future? How do we create change in line with our vision if we don't do the necessary planning and preparation now? I didn't specifically negate the need for such. However, whatever planning I need to do, I trust that I will be moved to do in the moment. It will be a natural extension of how I express in the world. Thus far, there hasn't been much of that. I have considered planning to be very much a future focused thing. The only part of it that is of value in the present is the definition of what actions we can take now to move in a direction towards achieving the objectives of the plan. And, we only want to do that if we buy into those objectives to begin with. Everything comes down to a vision. Do we buy into the vision or not? If so, we should be willing to do things that are consistent with manifesting that vision. Usually that involves doing something in a different way. For visions involving the infrastructures of society ... these are big things and big changes. It seems that small changes are simply not going to get us to where we need to be to facilitate the birth of a new age. Yet, who is empowered to make big changes? The answer is simple. Collectively, we all are! Why is it that I am still effectively alone in this endeavor that is Beyond Imagination? I have been searching for kindred spirits for nearly a decade with whom to work on the variety of things addressed in this stream of consciousness expression. But my search has effectively been for naught. Why is that? What is the feedback that I am getting from this? Is it that this is meant to be a solo endeavor? I find that difficult to believe, yet I do have a very strong hermit nature that isolates itself from the very world that I care so much about helping. Curious, I would help even though I choose not to participate for the most part. No games. This is serious stuff of which we are speaking. My personality is such that it does not tolerate game-playing. Everything is as it is for a reason. It is perfectly reflecting our beliefs about what reality should be both individually and collectively. That includes this expression. It has its reason for existence. I know that it has had a strong impact in my life. I suspect that it has had such an impact on others, though I know not whom nor how many. Further, the expression is such that it could have such impact long after I am gone. Whether it will or not remains to be seen. Much depends on what kind of an organization that I leave 14

behind to carry on the work. This is the work of spirit that we are doing. It must be done. At least, that is my sense of things. This expression is something that I must do. Building the foundations for a new world is also something I must do. I am fully aware that this is no easy task. Further, I am aware that this is not something that I can do alone. Oh, there are some parts of it that I can accomplish by myself. But, the greater parts of the endeavor demand cooperative effort. Then again, why should that surprise us? The very endeavor should be an example of what we are trying to build and express in the world. Will we succeed? Of this, there is no doubt. There is a spiritual plan and destiny that is being enacted. We are but the players in that plan. We will do what must be done when it need be done. And, we will do it willingly and cheerfully or we will not do it at all. That is how spirit works. She doesn't force us to do things ... she gently nudges and allows us to do as we will. Yet, in the end everything unfolds as it is meant to unfold. How can I be so certain that destiny will unfold in this manner? The chief answer is because I live in a world where spirit is expressing in flesh. Spirit came first. It's manifestation and expression in flesh is an activity of what it is. The whole goal of physical existence is the greater expression of spirit in flesh. We are ever in the process of building new forms that permit greater and greater spiritual expression. Regardless of appearances to the contrary, we are all spirit enfleshed, spirit having a physical experience. While we are physical, we are meant to be just that ... be physical. Though that does not mean losing sight of our spiritual nature as we do this. What would our life amount to in the end? Within another month or so, I'll have six books published. By the end of the year, that will grow to eight. That is quite a physical legacy to leave. Even if I were to accomplish nothing else with the rest of my life, that would have been some accomplishment. But, that is not enough for me. In fact, this is only the beginning. There is a sense that I am to have a role in announcing to the world that these works are available. What role that will be remains to be seen. But, it just isn't going to happen by itself from what I can see. Here, it seems that it is up to me to do something to make things happen ... to spread the word and allow people to find Beyond Imagination and experience what it has to offer. My assessment is that it has much to offer. Though, it is difficult to be specific about just what that is. The expression is primarily a stream of consciousness ... and I am not privy to how it originates or why it is organized as it is. Even after ten years, this is all a mystery to me. I spend nearly 1/5th of my waking life engaged in it, but it is a mystery nonetheless. That is OK. There is nothing that says that we have to understand everything. It is enough that we can engage in the expression anyway. At least, so it seems for now. I am moved to express what would be expressed through me. And, I am moved to do it nearly daily. This has been going on for over 20 months already, with no signs that it will end anytime soon. Then again, it started without warning on 1 January 2002. It is curious that this would be the beginning of a year. But such it was. We don't have enough experience to know whether it will stop at some point in the future as quickly as it started. At this point, I doubt it ... but I have been wrong in such matters before. One way or another, it will unfold as it will. And, I will find a way to enjoy the process. Getting back to our starting question. Our works and the impact that our life has had on the lives of others constitute what our life amounts to. These are what survive us in the world. On the personal front, what we have done to "know thyself" and the decree of awareness that we have achieved are what we get to keep and take with us. Given this, it is very important to pay attention to what we are as consciousness enfleshed and what we do as consciousness expressed in flesh. We still haven't been moved to do much to promote the Beyond Imagination books. Oh, we've added Published Books links and pages at the site. And, we've added a few reciprocal links to other sites. We've also advertised to generate a link from another site. Finally, we have a magazine ad for the Beyond Imagination site coming out in the Sedona Journal in Oct - Dec. Those are a few things that may generate some traffic and perhaps some sales. However, it seems that I should be doing more. I have 500 postcards and 1000 business cards for Best Passages from 2002 Musings. It doesn't do much good for them to be sitting on my desk. At the same time I have no clue as to who to send them to. The Beyond 15

Imagination books are not ordinary books. It is not clear they will make it to the market in the ordinary ways. Though, if they are to get out based on my efforts, it seems that I'm going to have to start contacting a whole lot more people than I am accustomed to contact per day or per week. At this point, I just don't see that happening. I don't know how it would happen. Then again, if it is meant to be, it will be. I'm open to doing whatever is necessary for Beyond Imagination to succeed in its endeavors. What is next? At this point, I really do not know. We'll get the eighth book into the publisher this week. We'll continue musing so long as we are moved to express in this way. We'll finish Beyond Mind. And, I'm sure that there are other projects that we will be moved to start. Late this week, I was thinking about creating a Top 100 quotes work ... created by selecting the best quotes from everything that has been expressed to date. That will not be particularly easy to do, first selecting the quotes from all of that material, and then ordering the quotes by importance or value. This would not be sufficient material for a book, but might make good first section for one. Also, it would be important to retain information on the source of each of these quotes so people could go to the appropriate material to explore further if they desired. Another benefit is that it is time to change the quotes on my wall. These would be strong candidates for wall quotes. I've already had a couple people ask me what some of my favorite quotes were. I didn't have a ready answer other than the dozen or so posted on my wall and reading these again last week ... several of them are suspect. They are good, but they are not great. They are not the best that I have done nor the best that I can do. Some of the calendar quotes are like that as well. Though, they are all thought provoking, and it is amazing that they could come forth through one person in just over three months. Then again, we have 883 passages for 2003 Musings - Vol I and another 660 for 2003 Musings - Vol II. At this pace, we'll have over 2100 passages for the year. That is simply amazing that spirit could come though so prolifically and profoundly. Yet, I watched it happen day by day ... musing by musing.

7 September 2003 A week into the new month already. Where does the time go. It seems to fly by so fast. It was a very lazy day overall. I didn't do much of anything. Some days are like that. We can't be energized and motivated all the time, now can we? Though, I would very much like to be. So, what would it take to be that? It seems that if I had the right support group around me that would help a lot. But, how do I find or attract such a group? That does indeed seem to be the next step to take this expression. We need interaction and feedback to propel the expression forward in fresh new ways. I can only do so much on my own. Then again, perhaps I am placing limits on this expression that are not rightly there. Our challenge has always been to find our limits and to either overcome them or find a way to use them to accomplish what needs to be done. When seen from a different perspective limits are often tools. How am I going to make people aware of the Beyond Imagination books? As the author, is that something that is my job to do? It seems that it shouldn't be, but it is. The stream of consciousness expression came forth through me. It is for me to share it with the world. Is the world ready to hear what I have to say? It seems that it must be. The very fact that I am so strongly moved to share this expression seems to indicate that the time is right somehow. Then again, this expression has been going on for over a decade already. What is different about now than at any time over the past decade. There just seems to be a sense of finality somehow, a sense that one phase is finished and that it is time for something new. The sense is that this will be a far more outgoing phase of expression. Though, exactly how that is to manifest I have no clue at the present. Perhaps it is time to start imagining something in this area. What would it take to be happy? I haven't really asked myself before. What I do know is what I have in my life at the present time is not enough to ensure this. The weakest area is relationships. It seems that these are a necessary part of life but are virtually absent from my life. It is all my doing. It is all the 16

result of choices that I have made. But, the bottom line is that I live a highly isolated existence and desire to change this. I have spent ten years sharing whom that I AM as intimately as I can. Though ... it is not clear with whom I have shared. The expression at Beyond Imagination is me. It tells you more about whom that I AM than most ever share. I know that it revealed a lot to me. I believe that it was meant to reveal a lot to others as well. One thing that is missing from my life is friends. That has been true for most of my life. Then, I have high ideals as to what constitutes friendship. There is still a desire to play the Hermit role. Perhaps this comes from a belief that relationships are hard work and not necessary worth the effort required to develop and sustain them. Hmm ... with a belief like that, it is no wonder that I would steer clear of relationships. However, there is another difficulty. There is a fear of saying what I feel because either I don't want to hurt someone or because I don't want to be judged as selfish for feeling that way. It definitely makes my life a challenge. At some point, however, I am going to get fed up with it and do what it takes to change it. The benefits of living an isolated life pale by comparison with the benefits of living a life in community. I know this. I just need to make it a real part of my life. Part of that is to create the very community that I would choose to be an active member of. That is an interesting way of putting things. But that is what building the foundations for a new world is all about. I've known that is what I am meant to do for many years. Though, this is something I am meant to do with others ... this is not a task to be done solo. Are these others like me, figuring out that something is missing from there life as well and looking for others in a similar manner? It would seem that spirit would be directing all of us to find one another. How does one whose nature is to be so isolated impact others in the world? Is it not enough for me to generate and share all of the words that I create and express ... or more correctly that spirit expresses through me. And, given that spirit is responsible for this expression, is she not responsible for its dissemination as well? Yes, but just as the expression is done through me, so the dissemination could be done through me too. One day at a time. It seems that is the guidance for the day. Take each day one day at a time. You will be moved to do what needs to be done. And, in the end everything will be expressed and manifested as required. The New Civilization Network is one place to start to look for likeminded others who have started organizations to do similar or compatible things. With over 8000 member organizations, there must be some that have similar objectives to those of Beyond Imagination. This could take some time. That is a lot of organizations to visit. But, they are all organizations that have chosen to become members. Also, if I'm going to be outgoing, I need to start showing a genuine interest in others.

8 September 2003 Another day. The proofing is going per schedule. It looks like I'll be able to send 2003 Musings - Vol II to the publisher on Friday. That will make #8 for the year. Can we really be that close? Less than six months ago, none of this was even in the planning stages. But here we are. So what do we do to beat this? We've set the achievement bar quite high this year. Then again, all that matters is that we express in the moment as we are moved to express in the moment. That is what got me here. The sense is that I can trust this same process to work in the future as well. Each revelation from consciousness takes us someplace new, someplace that we have never been before. That is one thing that I can count on from this stream of consciousness ... that it will carry me into the wilderness of the unknown. At times I have to doubt my very sanity, especially being bipolar. But, in the end it seems that I am sane after all. No, that doesn't mean that others necessarily think as I do ... but, that doesn't matter to me. This is not a popularity contest. I am a unique being. It is OK for me to experience my reality in a unique way. And what works for me can work for anyone. 17

The expression is flowing slower than normal tonight. Sometimes that happens. All that we can do is go with the flow. There is nothing that I've found that allows me to rush it. Whatever is expressed is meant to be expressed. No more and no less. It's not like there has been a shortage of words over the past decade. Though there have been stretches, sometimes even lengthy stretches where few words have come forth. The final half of 1998 through the end of 2000 were like that in particular. I still don't know why. But, I express more in a few weeks now than I did in any one of those three years. That makes me wonder whether the expression is cyclic. But, the sense is that it is not. There are too many factors at play for simple cycles to work anyway. That is OK. It is what it is. While the expressing is good, I'm happy to be the vehicle through which it can happen. If the lean times ever come, we have plenty of words to go back over and study. At this point we are at 3 million plus. I have no clue at how many more than that. How many words will be expressed through me in my lifetime? If the past is any indication and my 25 year future life projection is reasonable ... we ought to be able to make it to 10 million. Wow! 10 million words in a lifetime of 35 years of expression. That's an average of 300 thousand words per year. That doesn't leave much time to rest. Though, at some point I expect to be doing this for a living not just as a spiritual obsession. Yes, it seems that it is somewhat of an obsession. It is something that I have to do. I have no sense of having much control over it anymore. Not that I would choose otherwise anyway. This expression is the most exciting part of my life. This is where I get to touch spirit firsthand and where I get to share whom that I AM with others. However, I am finding that something is missing in this. It is not as much fun if I don't get to share it firsthand with others ... in person. Yet, I do not know where to start in doing this. I don't know who to engage or how to engage them. That seems to be something someone far more outgoing would do. Can I even picture myself doing that? Or, is this something that will be done by others that I am meant to connect with? There are many ways for things to get done. I see myself working with an inner circle which in turn works with a much larger outer circle. Interesting. With how I operate around people, I can't really expect to remember more than a small number of people in an inner circle. It doesn't seem fair to address a larger audience under these terms. I would build the foundations for a new world. In doing so, everyone is benefited whether they are aware of it or not. It is OK for me to work behind the scenes, incognito. But then, why do I need to express as I do here. This is clearly not incognito. Here, I open myself up to the world as much as I can. For over a decade I have been doing this. Why has there not been more feedback? Why have more people not responded to this expression? Surely it is not because it is not worthy of comment. Then why? Part of the problem is that our society typically doesn't provide feedback. It is by far the exception rather than the rule. It is time for this to change. We can't continuously improve things unless there is a feedback path. Collectively we are responsible for pointing out waste and inefficiencies so that we can improve these. What next? Where do we go from here? The only thing that is certain is this expression. We should start to see royalties next month if the books are starting to sell. We won't know until we see the invoices from the publisher. The only book available for sale during July was Best Passages. It came out early in the month. The November check will cover two books, and the December check three books. I don't know whether the Published Books links at my site are having the desired effect or not. There should be some ratio of number of hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page to number of books sold. At this point, I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to how many that might be.

9 September 2003

18

The ninth day of the ninth month. That should be special for one who would be a hermit. Then again, that is what I have been to date ... not necessarily what I am to be in the future. What would come forth today? I came very close to deciding not to express at all. But when it came down to it, I was moved to come here after all. This is where I come to life. This is where my soul sings. This is where my spirit soars. How could I even think to choose otherwise? Yet, when I start, there is a commitment that goes with this. My 1000 word minimum is roughly 1.5 hours worth of expression on a normal day. So, just choosing to come here is effectively a tithe of my time for the day just to make my minimum quota. I've already spent nearly two hours on Beyond Imagination work ... primarily proofing 2003 Musings - Vol II. Though, it's as if that really doesn't count. That only results in some minor corrections. Here is where the new expression comes forth. Here is where the stream of consciousness is given the freedom to speak as it will. Yes, this is colored by my mind as it comes forth ... but less than you might think. There is a strong sense that I need to start doing something different than I have done before. At this point, I don't know exactly what that is ... but the motivation is there anyway. I feel anxious and uneasy. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate making things happen that I am not yet doing. Further, it seems that it is something that is relatively easy ... something that even I could do. Then how can I be so dense as to be missing it? Sometimes we have to step back from the trees to see the forest. It seems that is the state that I am in right now. I am too close to it to see it. That's OK, I won't stay that way for long. My natural tendency is to observe from afar. If anything, I probably err in staying too far afar. What is it that I would do? I would build the foundations for a new world. But, what does that mean in practical terms? What foundations need to be built? And, how do we go about building them? We've addressed this many times throughout the Beyond Imagination material since the very first day of expression in 1993. Society, government, educational system, and economic system are four key foundations that need much work. They are not completely bad the way that they are. They serve a few well, some adequately, many OK, and many poorly. This is simply not good enough. It is time that we realize this and demand something better. Unless we do so, those in power will do what they can to retain the status quo. This we do not have to allow. The world can be a better place. But, it will only be one if we choose to do what it takes to make it one. Consciousness is patiently waiting for the organizations to be created that allow it to be more fully expressed in flesh. These organizations are groups of people cooperating together to create something that is greater than any of the individuals could have created alone. As to what these creations will be ... that is wide open. Ultimately were talking about goods, services, and experiences that could not otherwise exist at a comparable cost. Where do I find the people with whom I am meant to build such organizations? Surely they must be out there. Surely they must be looking for me even as I am looking for them. I have trusted leaving such meetings to consciousness to arrange in the past. Is that too much to ask? Do I need to play a more active role in this? The very fact that I am asking the question now seems to indicate that indeed there is some role that I must play here. That is OK. I believe that I am ready to do that now, more than I have ever been. Interesting. This seems to be part of the changes that are in store for the times ahead. It seems that I am to play a much more active role in my own life. Part of this is increased conscious control over the process of reality creation. I'm still not sure how much conscious control I really want. It seems that a little goes a long way, but too much is too much. Actually, the conscious control is there in many respects. It is just not immediate. There is a time lag between believing something and seeing it manifest in our reality. This lag can be from months to days to hours in some cases. It seems some people are naturally better at this than others. Why am I not more aware of my dreams? Surely I dream. Everyone does. I must be doing something during the eight hours plus per night that I am sleeping. Yet, with rare exceptions, I have no recall of dreaming or of dreams that I have had. I have heard that dreams are how we integrate and digest some of our experiences. That being the case, I would think that my dream life would be more active than most because my spiritual life and imagination are more active than most. But, this is not what I experience. 19

In fact, I don't experience dreams involving images or vision much at all. I can count such dreams on one hand. That is how rare my recall is of them. I do love the halfway between awake and sleep state however, and am one to frequent the snooze button on the alarm. This keeps me in a semi-dream state, but I don't see images. I'm not one that can close my eyes and imagine or picture things. Similarly, I can't look at an empty room in a house and imagine what it would be like in a different color or filled with particular furniture. That is simply not how my Mind's Eye works. Though I know of others who have vivid imaginations and dreams.

11 September 2003 Yes, I missed a day of musing. There was no good reason for it. I was simply not moved to write ... so I took the evening off and vegged out watching TV. Hmm ... today marks the second anniversary of a day that lives in infamy. The horror of what a few terrorists were able to do is etched in our memories. The visions of planes crashing into buildings and two tall towers crashing to the ground. These will stay with us forever as we remember all those lost in this great tragedy. However, terrorism no longer seems to be as strong of a threat. I guess that means the war on terrorism is working. Though it has been a very costly war. But, we do what we have to. And, it seems that where we apply resources, we generally get results ... especially when we employ our best and our brightest. I started my day much earlier than normal today. I actually got into the office at 6:30 for a 7:00 meeting. Most mornings, I don't even get up at that time. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I went to bed earlier than normal and got up 15 minutes before the alarm clock was set to go off. That does make me wonder. If I can do it one day, why can't I do it on a regular basis. Even if I used the morning time to write before going to work, that would be a productive use of the time and would get me off to a running start each day. There is something different about the early morning hours. The energy is different. It would be interesting to see how that impacts what gets expressed. I won't know unless I try it. Why not? At this point, I have nothing to lose. My time is my own anyway. I can do what I want with it. What would be expressed today? We finished 2003 Musings - Vol II today. It is ready to go to the publisher tomorrow. That makes eight books for 2003. That should be sufficient to ensure that we meet our objective of eight books published in 2003. When I set it several months ago, that was a very lofty goal. Now, it seems it is a reality. It wasn't magic. I just had to commit to do it. Then again, much about this expression is magical. I am constantly amazed by what is able to come forth. However, it doesn't really surprise me anymore. I have come to expect it. One can do far worse than to have spirit as an active force in one's life. There is a sense that today marks a new beginning somehow. Completions always involve new beginnings. Yet, the sense is that this involves a jump into the unknown somehow. It is time to do something different. What I have been doing has worked well to this point, but it also limits me. It is time to do things in a manner that serves me and better serves spirit. I am free to do this now. It is a matter of allowing it to happen. Some part of me knows exactly what needs to be done. No, clearly I don't consciously know what this is. But, some part of me knows ... of that I am certain. Further, I trust myself enough to allow that part to express naturally in my life. I accept the fact that my conscious awareness of myself is limited. I accept the fact that there are parts of me that know how to do things that I have no clue about, and further can do them well. I don't even need to know what they are for them to work their wonders in my life. I just need to be open and allow. We are truly magnificent creatures when we allow ourselves to be. Unfortunately, most are not aware of just how magnificent they are. This is a shame. This is a failure of our educational system. It fails to teach us the most important thing ... whom that we are. Perhaps it is to much to expect it to teach us this. However, it should at least point us down 20

the path toward finding it out ourselves. Know Thyself! That is the most important thing that education should address. I wonder whether I'll have books from the publisher to proof this weekend? It has been about two months. The sooner my children are published the sooner they can go to work earning an income for Beyond Imagination. We need funds to make things happen. Though, other that freeing ourself from the current job ... we haven't thought much about what we would do if substantial funds were to start coming in from the sales of published books. Though, I'm sure it wouldn't take long to come up with ideas for projects ... even if we were talking about large sums. We can always hope. Who knows? With eight books, there is the potential for substantial sales. We'll know as time unfolds. What will I be doing six months or a year from now? I really do not know. I have no clue as to what I will be moved to express. The sense is that it is time for a major change, but I don't know what that is to be. 2004 is to be different than 2002 and 2003. But, how specifically is it to be different? How will this impact how I live, how I work, and how I express? It seems that it is time for an outward thrust somehow. This was initiated this year and will continue in the coming months. But, the bulk of it lies in store for 2004. What will we manifest? Yes, there is a sense that by then this will truly be a WE endeavor. Interesting. That suggests that I have some important folks to meet in the coming months. I look forward to that. In fact, I can't wait. It's about time.

13 September 2003 Missed another day of expression. I knew I should have got an early start. I had a wisdom tooth removed. The operation took over 3.5 hours and didn't leave me in any condition to muse for the evening. It is not bad now ... there is a little swelling but not much pain. Though opening my mouth is a bit difficult after having to keep it open for so long yesterday. If that is what extracting a tooth is like, I hope never to have to undergo that again. It definitely wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. On the positive front, Best of Notes - Books I and II were waiting for me when I got home on 9/11. I love the covers. I did a quick proofing focusing on format issues and sent the approval forms with correction sheets back to the publisher. Both books should hit the streets in about three weeks. That gets us to 5 on our way to 8 for the year. I sent 2003 Musings - Vol II to the published yesterday as well. That means the final 3 works are all at (or on the way to) the publisher. I expect the proof copy for Beyond Imagination Quotes to arrive anytime now. The work was submitted one day after the two Best of Notes books. I also got three original copies of 2003 Musings - Vol I with the right cover. I've been negligent in sending copyright forms and copies to the Library of Congress. I'll have to start doing that again. Enough for book work. It is on track for achieving the objective of eight published books in 2003. The bigger question is what is next? Where does this expression go from here? What are we to do to ensure that the books reach their intended audience? Do we even know what that is? We have been expressing for over a decade. One would think that by now we would have some idea as to whom we were expressing to. Yet, it seems such is not the case. We express as we do, and we make that expression available on the WWW and now as books. But, we don't know enough people to have any real clue as to who might consume this expression. Yet, we feel strongly moved to capture it and to share it anyway. For one thing, it provides us with a record of where this consciousness has been. And, it is a record that we return to often. Can others benefit from what is captured as well? It seems that yes, there is great value in surfing the waves of consciousness of others. This has the potential to expand our own states of consciousness ... and such expansions are always good. 21

There is still a sense that it is time for an outward thrust to this expression. Posting to the WWW and publishing books are good starts, but they are not enough. We need to personally engage with others somehow. This is a stretch for us. In fact, I don't really know where to start. However, if it is like the rest of my life to date, what I need to do will naturally reveal itself and unfold. Typically, I don't have to work to make things happen, I just need to do what I am moved to do and allow them to happen. Though, don't get me wrong ... doing what I am moved to do may require working very hard at times. That is OK. I am not averse to hard work when it is necessary, especially when it is fulfilling work. So, what is this outward thrust that is required? How are we to spread the word of the Beyond Imagination site and works? What more do we need to express that would make the message more palatable to the masses? Is that even necessary? Who are we meant to touch and in what ways? What are the best ways to go about doing that? I can ask the questions ... but I have no clue as to the answers at the present time. Though, usually when I am ready to ask the questions, the answers are forthcoming shortly. Whether this is a day, a week, a month, or a season ... I don't really know. This expression continues to be my primary outlet of expression. It seems that we will indeed have a 2003 Musings - Vol III. It won't be published until April 2004, but it will wrap up the trio of Musings books for 2003. There is a sense that this is starting to change however, that sometime in the next four months I will start expressing in new ways. Finishing Beyond Mind is one example. I'm sure there will be others as I give myself the freedom to do things differently. If I could make enough from this to make it my full time job ... who knows what I could accomplish. But, it seems that we would need some sort of a marketing arm to take the works published as they are produced. I don't believe I'm the best person to do that. I probably could if I had to ... but why should I have to when there are others far more suited to doing that who can't do what I do. Here, it seems that cooperative interdependence should apply. It is time to connect with others in a cooperatively interdependent way to start creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can express more fully in flesh. It is not just any revolution that we are seeking, it is a spiritual revolution. These are both the easiest and the most difficult to achieve ... the easiest because spirit herself is behind our endeavors, the most difficult because most individuals are not operating from spiritual levels of awareness in their day to day lives. We have become used to giving nearly three hours of our day to this expression. Yes, that is more than a tithe of the total time available per day and nearly two tithes of the waking time available. That is a major commitment. That is the reason that the productivity is as it is. Where we focus our resources, where we focus our energy ... we achieve results. But, how do we take that the next step and expose others to these works? Is that meant to happen? I desire it to be so? But, is that what spirit has in store? Not my will but thine be done. I am content with whatever spirit has in store. Though there is a sense that my will is now a tool of the will of spirit as well. As such, it can be used to do her will. In practical terms, my obligation is to do as I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. That typically doesn't come with much advance warning. Our lives are meant to be lived in the now. This is where the point of power lies. It is the intensity of this expression that allows it to achieve what it does. The sense is that if this were not a daily expression the richness of what is expressed would be greatly reduced. The regularity adds something. Also, the nature of the expression as stream of consciousness makes it special. Since the beginning, there has been no need to organize the material in any manner. It came through as it was meant to come through. And it was shared as it came through. That saves a lot of work. But, that also means that there is some intelligence that is responsible for originating all of this. I would like to say that this "intelligence" is mine. But, that is not how I experience it ... not consciously anyway. That doesn't mean that it isn't me. It could be that I am just not consciously aware of the source from which this flows. I don't interact with others enough to know whether they experience what they express in this manner as well. I expect that they do ... though they might not be aware of that either. For many, the fact that it comes forth through their mind is sufficient to make it theirs. However, I make a distinction between what I am consciously aware of and what I am not consciously aware of. At this time, it seems 22

the distinction is important ... at least to me. This distinction involves the limits of my awareness, and for me, awareness is extremely important. It is what the whole process of life is all about ... ever increasing awareness, and ever increasing expression of spirit in flesh. Though individual expression is not enough. We are in the process of building the foundations for social expression of spirit in flesh. This will happen through the organizations that we are able to create that facilitate this. These don't have to be large organizations. As few as two people operating in a cooperatively interdependent way can create something greater than either could create alone. With a dozen or a dozen dozens, the added value of synergy is truly phenomenal. The bottom line is that it doesn't take millions or even hundreds of thousands to create massive change. As few as dozens or hundreds may be sufficient in most areas if we organize effectively. However ... note that it takes more than one. This expression alone, no matter how voluminous is not sufficient to create the change that we are talking about. The most that it can do is reach some of those who are ultimately to organize to create change and move them to take action. That will have to be enough. What is my role in the times to come? I will continue to express as spirit moves me to express for so long as I am so moved. At this point I have no idea as to how long that will be. It seems that we can express silently in musings and in books. But, we may also be moved to express more openly in interactions of various types with others; whether that is in classes, interviews, or other promotional appearances for Beyond Imagination. It is interesting that I consider the musings and the books silent. But, these are unilateral expressions. They are effectively done in a vacuum. There has been limited feedback to date to come from their expression. There is a sense that I will be moved toward more outer expression. This is not likely to be something that I will prefer ... but it will be something that I can do competently. And, that is good enough. It seems that my hermit nature is engrained. It is not something that I'm going to outgrow with time. It is for me to make the best of it and use it to maximum advantage in my life. This is not a burden or a hardship in any way. It is simply part of whom that I am ... and an important part at that. How does one who is essentially a hermit by nature reach out to the world and interact? My chosen method has been to capture this expression and post it at the Beyond Imagination site ... and more recently to publish it in a series of Beyond Imagination books. The Main Page at the site gets approximately 2000 hits per year, but I don't know how many of those are repeat visits. We won't know until next month whether people are moved to buy the Beyond Imagination books. And even then, we only have data for the first book available for the last two weeks in July. The November accounting may be more representative with two books available for most of August. Royalties are paid at the beginning of the month for the month ending two months prior. The October period will be my first opportunity for a royalty check assuming sufficient sales to reach over $20 in royalties. I haven't done much to promote the Beyond Imagination books yet other than creating pages at the Beyond Imagination site that announce them and doing a few things to try to bring more people to the Beyond Imagination site. Is this enough? It was what I knew how to do. It was what was under my control to do. To do more, I need to find ways to involve others somehow. This is always difficult for me. Actually, it has been difficult. That doesn't mean that it has to continue to be so in the present or in the future. The future is what we make of it. That is how the game of reality creation works. We need to watch for disempowering beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones when we find them. We are always free to do this. Beliefs are a matter of choice. And, it is through beliefs that our reality is constructed.

14 September 2003 Another day in which to express as consciousness would have us express. We have 23:wayne to the right of September and 41:Wayne to the left. That happens 12 times this year, once each month ... but this is 23

the first time that I have noticed it. Interesting that it would be in the ninth month. 2341 has come up before. It is 925(16). Reversed we have 529 which happens to be 23 x 23. I am ever fascinated by how numbers appear in my life in various contexts and associations. No matter how much time I spend examining them ... there is always more to uncover and discover. Often I get to places where I don't necessarily know the specific meaning, but I have an inner sense that I have reached what I was meant to reach. It may take hours, days, weeks, months, or even years for the full meaning to reveal itself. But I trust that each piece will ultimately have its place. My job is to continue to do as I am moved to do. This includes following the trails of consciousness to wherever they lead. My life is only partially mine. A large part has been given to the universe to do spirits bidding. I do this willingly and joyfully. I cannot think of a more fulfilling way to live my life and expend my energies. To date, the greatest part of this endeavor has been stream of consciousness expression that began in 1993 and continues to this day. Perhaps such will always be the case. Though the sense is that writing may not be sufficient for much longer. Hmm ... I wonder what would come next. I'm not sure that I know how to express other than to write. Though, if it is meant to be, it will be. I have been surprised by some of the talents that I have found before. Why should this be any different? How would I express this stream of consciousness other than in words? Clearly pictures and art are out of the question. But, spirit must have something in mind to express in this manner. Then again, maybe that's just her way of shaking me up a bit. Words seem to be perfectly adequate for conveying what is being conveyed at the moment. So long as that is the case, it seems that they will be employed to do what they can do though me. There is no sense that this channel is going to be turned off or even turned down anytime soon. If anything, the sense is that it is to be turned up allowing even more to pour forth. That seems to be strictly a matter of how much time I am willing to give to this expression. I make the choice to come here and to stay here for some amount of time. That enables what comes through to come through as it does. I am willing to make this choice because I am pleased by what comes forth and I know that it could not come forth in this manner in any other way. We speak of a vision of what is to be in the Aquarian Age. Perhaps it is time that we collect some of the many passages that express elements of this vision and put them in one place for easy access. This is something I can do. Further, it seems that this is something that needs to be done. Along with this vision should be a statement of what we expect from people. Living in accord with the vision is a two way street. Society provides services to the citizenry, but the citizenry needs to give something back to the society in return. Actually, it is more than this ... collectively, we the people are the society. It is not some thing that is separate from us. Similarly, we are the economy, or the labor that generates the goods and services that the economy provides to the members of society. We do all of the work necessary to meet the collective needs of all of us. Depending on how you look at it, you might judge us to be doing a good job, a mediocre job, or a poor job at this. Looking at the diversity of goods and services that are readily available on the free market ... one might think that we are doing a good job here. However, when you consider that we have homeless people, people going hungry, sick people without medical care, people without work etc ... we could do much better. And, that is in this country. When we look at third world countries, the poverty, misery, and lack are far worse. Yet, who makes it their responsibility to address this? Foreign aid rarely gets down to dealing with the problems at this level. Each of us is responsible for our own reality. But, to what degree are we responsible for the collective reality experienced by those around us? We create our reality both individually and en masse. We can choose to do things that make a difference for the collective reality. We don't have to do everything. It is enough for us to do our part. We will know what that is. It will be what feels right for us to do. It may require a stretch beyond what we have done before. That is OK, do it anyway. The reward is well worth it. The primary reward is an increased level of fulfillment. Beings high on the realization scale find fulfillment to be a powerful driver for behavior. For some, it becomes the most powerful motivator. 24

What next? Where do we go from here? How do I make things happen that I want to see happen? How do we make Beyond Imagination a positive force for change in the world ... a far more vocal and outgoing force than we have seen to date? How do we build the foundations for a new world? How do we find the people with whom we are meant to work on this? These questions all imply that I am to have a major role to play in all of this. I still believe this to be true. I know that it is grandiose of me to think so ... but I am not your average being. I wouldn't have come in with such special talents and abilities if I did not have a special role to play. Yes, we all have special roles ... but it seems that some are more special than others.

15 September 2003 Where is the month going? It is already halfway over. That only leaves 3.5 months remaining in the year. Actually, that is enough time to do a lot when I consider how much I've done since 1 June. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do and what I am moved to express in that time. It is interesting looking over to the credenza in my office at the lineup of five Beyond Imagination books. In chronological order, they just happen to line up in terms of increasing page count as well. 288 - 350 - 450 - 522 - 586. That's a lot of pages. But, that is only the half of it ... literally. The final three books are all in the 560-610 range. That makes for one heck of a year. I would not have believed it possible if I did not see it happen before my eyes. Yes, it helped that much of the work was expressed in prior years and only needed to be collected, formatted and proofed. Though proofing is no easy task. But, someone has to do it ... and thus far, I have been both the writer and the editor of these works. Though, I have not been moved to do any serious editing. The material is presented as it was expressed through me. This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, I do not direct it or organize it. I allow it to flow as it will trusting that it is being organized by a force greater than I know. To date, this source has not led me astray. Indeed, she has produced works that I simply marvel at. Often, I ask how is it that such could come forth through me? There must be a reason that I am the vessel through which the expression occurs as it does. I must have done something right to deserve all of this. I am deeply grateful that I am the one selected for this. Whether I volunteered or selected myself, I don't really know. Nor does it matter. What does matter is that spirit is an active force in my life. She has been for many years, and I suspect she will be for the remainder of my life. I have chosen to serve her in the greatest manner that I can. At the rate that we are expressing, a week can be an eternity. There is so much to do. But we would not do for the sake of doing. We would do because there is some spiritual benefit to be gained from what we do. Ultimately, the sense is that this expression has that benefit though with a time lag. Is there something that I can do about that? Is there some way I can bring the message of Beyond Imagination to more people in a more direct way? The very fact that I'm asking the question suggests that the answer is indeed yes. That begs the question of how? If I think about it, I'm sure that something will come to me. How do I more fully express whom that I AM? That is what is at the heart of the issue. In doing that, I maximize what I allow spirit to express through me. That is living at my finest. That is living in accord with the directive - be all that you can be. This directive applies to each of us. However, there is a collective responsibility to provide and infrastructure, an environment that facilitates this. Presently, that does not exist. We have to work too hard to express whom that we are. This should be easier ... much easier. It is a matter of where we choose to employ resources. How do we choose where to employ collective resources? Right now, the only control I have is over my own time and my own attention. Though I can impact others with my words and my deeds. In particular, as a wayshower, by my example I demonstrate what living a life of spirit is all about. Though, we all live lives of spirit in our own way. Many just are not aware of this. If they were, they might just make different choices in their lives. Not that I would wish my life upon anyone. It isn't particularly difficult. But, it does have its challenges and its trying times. It is not enough for me to lead an average or mediocre life. I know that I have been 25

given gifts that make allow me to stand apart from others ... gifts that provide me with the means to make my mark upon the world. I would consider my life to be a failure were I not to find a way to use these gifts in a manner that made a great difference to the world somehow. Yes, a great difference. A little difference is not sufficient given my potential. I would assess that I am doing the right kinds of things to have this kind of impact. The decade long expression that is Beyond Imagination is a case in point. While it has not reached as many as I may have liked, there are still many more years to go in which its impact may be felt ... and all the while we will have new monitions of consciousness to express and to share. Hopefully, we will start seeing more involvement with others ... more of a communication, and eventually the creation of a community. That is where the principles, the theory, hit the reality. Though it seems we will find that this will be with far more fluidity than many suspect ... for the time is right for the changes to manifest. It is time for creating the foundations for a new world. It is time for giving birth to a new age. The dawning has gone on for long enough. It is time for the long-awaited dawn to finally arrive. And, so it will ... in magnificent order, as befits it. What is my role in all of this? Why am I singled out to express in this manner? No one else that I know thinks as I do or expresses as I do. That doesn't matter. That doesn't stop me from doing what I am moved to do. There is an inner force that drives me. This is simply something that I must do. It is an integral part of the road towards fulfillment for me. I can't imagine what my life would be like without this expression. It is such a huge part of my life. It is such a huge part of whom that I AM. This is how I express to the world. It doesn't matter that the world doesn't see the expression yet ... or barely sees it. When the time is right the word will get out and the people who are meant to find me and find this expression will indeed do so. There is nothing that I can do to prevent that. But, at the same time it seems that there is little that I can do to promote it either. Though that is a serious belief that I need to deal with. As I believe, so shall I experience. It seems that there is something holding up the release of the floodgates. I don't know what that is. But, there is a sense that everything is ready to be unleashed. It is just a matter of pulling the plug or flipping the switch. But, I don't quite see how to do that ... and I don't see anyone being able to help me with it. Hmm ... it seems this is something I'm just going to have to figure out myself. Why me? What makes me so special as to warrant such a direct relationship with consciousness herself? The bottom line is I don't know why, I just am. This is something I simply have to accept. At times it can be difficult to accept. But then I look at everything that has been expressed since 1993 and am blown away by what spirit is able to produce through us. When we cooperate with consciousness, she can be quite prolific. Not that I have anything to compare it to. I did not have any creative output expression of my own prior to 1993. And, the only "comparable" works that I am aware of from others are in the many books that I have read. Seeing five books displayed on my credenza and knowing that three more will be there before the end of the year was awe inspiring. If my calculations are right, that will put us at around 4000 published pages for the year. That is phenomenal. That just about catches me up in terms of publishing the works that have been expressed at Beyond Imagination. Further works will require additional creative effort on my part. And here, we run into the limits of available time. That is, unless we can find a way to free up more time for this expression. We can always find more time to do those things that are important for us to do. It is all a matter of priorities. When you think about it, 16 hours of waking time per day x 70 years is a lot of time to do stuff. Even if we don't get started until we are 35 as in my case, though I did read and study a lot for the 20 years prior to that ... that still leaves 35 years to strut our stuff and do the works of our lives. We may have to do this while we are busy doing other things such as holding down a job and/or raising a family. But, such is what we must do. We must find what really matters to us and find a way to do it. If we are lucky, we will find a way to make our life's work our livelihood as well. Though, it seems that many never make it that far. That doesn't mean it can't be done. Nor does it mean that it is difficult to do. It is just that if we want to manifest it in our lives, we have to do what it takes to make it so. 26

At 45, my sense is that I have another 25 good years in me to do what I came to do. That is sufficient time, but there is not much time to waste. I need to be vigilant. I need to stay focused and keep doing those things that I am moved to do. I would hope that eventually I will be able to plan my activities for some time in the future. However, right now, the focus is still on the here and now ... what can be done in the present. A quarter of a century seems like a long time. However 45/70 = 9/14 = 64 percent of my life complete. That is close to two-thirds. When you look at it that way, it is somewhat humbling. Though if the past 10 years is any indication, we have a lot of life yet to live. In fact, we have only just begun in many respects. 1993-2003 were the years of Beyond Imagination expression. There is a sense that 20042028 are to be the years of Beyond Imagination manifestation. There is a difference between expression and manifestation. It is the later that makes things real. That is what comes next ... reality creation. It is time to decide what it is that we would create both individually and en masse. It is for me to help bring forth a vision of what is to be ... and then to take the actions necessary to start making that vision a reality in the world. Yes, this is something I can do. Hmm ... the sense is that I don't even need anyone's help to do this. I only need my own permission, along with the belief that I can do it. Interesting. We have been speaking of needing society and organizations. This may help, but in the beginning the sense is that this is not necessary. You will be amazed by what one person can do. Though, what many can do is even more amazing. So now we have the dilemma of the hermit versus society to deal with. Would I be my own society or can I find a way to exist within a larger society? Eventually, the later needs to be the modus operandi. However, how long can we operate in the former manner? It is easier to operate when the resources are solely under my control. However, the resources are more limited thereby limiting what can be accomplished. More and more, I desire to be free of such limits.

16 September 2003 The 16:Tower day in a 9:Hermit month. It will be interesting to see what that brings. There is more of a sense of isolation than normal this month. I'm being forced to face just how alone I am not only in this endeavor but in my life. I have done a wonderful job in isolating myself ... so wonderful that it will be a challenge to overcome this should I finally decide that such is really what I want to do. I am very close to making that decision. It seems that I can only do so much operating alone. I need to expand my connections to others if my impact is going to be felt on a larger scale ... and I sense that such is destined. It is not something that I can avoid even if I wanted to ... which I don't. I would do what I must do to achieve the purposes that I came to fulfill. My sense is that at least some of these involve others in some capacity. Where do I go to find these others? What can I do to accelerate or facilitate what we are meant to do together? Things will unfold in their own timing. They cannot be rushed. They will happen when the time is right and not until. That answer is not really an answer however. It leaves me in an indefinite waiting loop. Though I have been in this loop for a long time ... and that has not stopped me from expressing what needed to be expressed through me. Why should now be any different. It is enough to continue to express as I am moved to express. It is enough to give this stream of consciousness that would express through me voice. In doing that, I do my part somehow. Oh, I may be moved to do other things a well. But this is one thing that is easy for me to continue to do. All that it takes is the discipline to set aside the time to come here each day to express. And, what else do I have to do with my time that is of comparable importance? The bottom line is nothing. There is something about capturing a record of my consciousness on a regular basis that is important somehow. This is an augmentation to my memory ... capturing things that I would never remember otherwise. I benefit from being able to go back as see what was expressed. I would hope that others would benefit from seeing the perspective of a different consciousness ... one captured in daily snapshots. I know that it would have helped me to read such works as mine when I was growing up to give me some 27

idea as to what consciousness was capable of. It would have stretched my concepts even more than they were stretched by the many metaphysical books that I read. But, I had to wait until I could generate them to be able to read them. Interesting. But this seems appropriate somehow. It is as if I am creating the very reality that I need to experience. And, not surprisingly, that is exactly what I am doing. But, not just me, that is what are all doing. Everything that happens in our lives is drawn there by our beliefs about ourselves, our world, our reality, and reality creation. We experience what we expect to experience, what we believe that we will experience. In about three weeks we'll jump from three published books to five published books. It takes that long for the publisher to implement the final changes. Then we are down to three remaining books for the year. The proof copy for Quotes should arrive from the publisher at anytime. The Search for Center follows that by about three weeks. And, 2003 Musing - Vol II should be ready to proof around Thanksgiving. That rounds out the year. Though, I expect to finish Beyond Mind in the next two months as well. Then, it seems that it is time to do some soul searching and see what works are meant to happen next. It seems that things are sort of wide open. There are many potential directions to head in but only some of them are right for me at this time. I trust that I will recognize what these are when I see them. There is a part of me that knows. I have learned to access this part and give it voice in my life. It generally comes from inside via my intuition. Will there be some point in time where metaphysical author becomes my primary job rather than systems engineer? How many books must I write to make that so? Is any quantity enough? What makes a successful author? Clearly, it is not having books published. Similarly, what makes a successful writer? Clearly, it is not number of words expressed. What else is needed? What else is there that I must do? One sense is that we can wait and see. But, another sense says that it is in our hands to do something now. We create our own reality. It is time to make something happen. It doesn't really matter what at this point. Something, ... anything is enough. But what would we do different than the things that we are already doing. Unless we do something different, we will keep getting what we have always gotten. If we want something new we must stretch somehow ... we must become more than we ever were before. In doing so we reach new heights of self and new heights of expression. Consciousness is my rock. She is my foundation. With her, I soar to heights Beyond Imagination and dream of things that have never been. Yet I know that my dreams foretell of a time to come, and of a world to come. It is there just beyond my grasp but it is there just as vivid and real as anything in this world. It calls to me to assist in giving it form, to assist in planting it firmly on the ground, to assist in making it real. Can I do this? Are there practical steps that I can take to accomplish these? Is this what I am meant to do? I would do what I am moved to do. I would do what I am destined to do. And, I would do it gladly. But, what is it that I am destined to do? How am I to know this other than seeing it happen as it unfolds in my life? It seems that it is about time for me to know. I want to know. I believe that I could be is greater service if I knew. At some level, the sense is that I already know this. It is just a matter of making the knowledge conscious. Interesting, I'm barely conscious as I am writing this. It makes for some interesting errors to correct. Just checked ... using Google to search for Wayne Hartman or for Beyond Imagination results highly ranked entries of the Index page. One of them was at the top of the list. That surprised me considering that I still have limited connectivity from external sources. But how would anyone know to search for me that way unless they already knew me? Hmm ... just tried "Reality Creation". That will get you to Reality Creation 1010, number 3 on the list. There are other standard phrases that I use, but it seems that many of them are used by others as well. I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! is one of these. In Peace, Love, and Light is another. The only one that seemed to be unique was one that I started with when the expression began -- Be Happy and Create Well! It seems that no one else is using that one yet. Searching is definitely a challenging way of finding information. It can also be time consuming and even wasteful if we are not careful in how we do it. Though as long as we are getting results and enjoying the process, that is all that really counts. 28

I can find my own material because I know what to look for. But have I made it easy for someone who might have no clue that this material is out there to come into contact with it. Having to rely on the hit and miss nature of search engines seems wrong somehow. I should have more input and more control over the process than that. That means that I need to find ways of exposing people to what is at the Beyond Imagination site. How do I go about doing that? The site clearly is not for everyone. But, what subset of people does it target? What is the candidate audience for what it has to offer? This does not mean they will all necessarily be interested in what is offered, but they should be given the chance to explore and decide for themselves if the site has anything to offer them. I have given a lot of myself to this expression. That should be obvious. I continue to give in this manner because it is the one thing that I know that I can do that I feel to be of lasting value. There is a sense that this will change in the coming months, that somehow we shall start to be involved in organizations that are established to do things to create the foundations for a new world. We are not asking for much. We ask that our efforts make a difference, that they have world impact somehow. Yes, that is a lot to ask of anyone. At the same time ... we are not just anyone. We came with a specific purpose and mission ... one that would ultimately impact the world in a highly positive way. Nothing can keep us from doing what we came to do. We are that committed to carrying out our mission in this existence. How can I know all of this? How do I know that I am not deceiving myself and wasting my life working towards something that I don't really need to be doing? I only know what I feel and what I know deep inside of me. I would be whom that I AM. I would do that which I came to do. Sometimes I know what that is ... often I do not. But, I know that I can count on my inner self to let me know what I need to know when I need to know it. This is a powerful process to have working for you in your life. Many are not connected to their inner self. Further, many who are connected have not found a knowing source and/or have not developed a level of trust. All in good time. But, the sooner the better. We need to have spirit operating in our corner ... completely, especially given the complexities of the world in which we live. I speak with a voice that seems to have experience that extends beyond my years and beyond my current lifes experiences. How can this be. How is it that I know what I know? How is it that so much of this expression is expressed in the declarative? There is no preceding it with "in my opinion" or "I have observed that" or "perhaps things work like". No, what is stated is emphatic. It is what it is. It is not wishy-washy in stating what would be expressed. For ten years we have been coming here to allow the source of this stream of consciousness to be expressed through us. Will we continue to do that for another ten years ... another twenty-five years ... to the end of our days? We can only watch the drama unfold and see what happens. But, what about free will? Don't I have a role in creating all of this? Hmm ... does a pencil have a role in creating what is written on a page? Yes, it is a necessary instrument. But, do I truly have a choice not to express? That would be like asking me not to breathe. Maybe worse ... this expression is that important to me. There is a very real sense that I would die spiritually without it. Perhaps that is too harsh an assessment. But the spiritual is far stronger than any other force in my life and has been for some time.

17 September 2003 The collection of musings continues to grow. How long this will continue I do not know. What I do know is that this is my preferred mode of expression at the moment. So long as that is the case, I will continue to do it ... anxiously awaiting what is to come forth. It is just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. I never really know what is to come forth next. I just keep an open mind and allow the stream of consciousness to go where it will. Since the New Musings began in 1998 we have had: 1998

26 29

1999 2000 2001 2002 2003*

25 8 8 304 234

Clearly, something changed in 2002. All of a sudden the expression changed dramatically in both quantity and quality. We still have over 100 days remaining in 2003*, so we should be able to match or exceed the count for 2002. The total count is 601 musings. Today's musing makes 602. It is curious that I am moved to count them at this time. Hmm ... 23-5 is W-E. How appropriate. In a very real way, this expression has been the record of my transformation from a me to a we focus. Don't get me wrong. I still speak in the first person singular a lot, primarily because that is what I know firsthand. But, I would also speak for the society that I would help to create ... even though I have not yet met the other members of this society, as far as I know anyway. What does one get from a pattern like that? 26 - 25 - 8 - 8 - 304 234. There are nearly two orders of magnitude difference between the most expressive and the least expressive years. And, it is not like there were other avenues of expression in 2000 and 2001 that were taking up my time. Further, the expression has continued into 2003 despite all the effort to get books ready to be submitted for publishing. 2003 has truly been a phenomenal year. It will be one that is difficult to top. Though it seems that spirit has things in store for us that make this pale by comparison. Can that be true? I sense it strongly. One way or another, we shall see soon enough. It does make you wonder what 2004 and 2005 will bring. The years seem to be manifesting as pairs. I don't know why. That is just the pattern from the few data points to date. We have reached close to a top end however. Given that we record the musings daily, the most we can do is 365. That would be if we mused every day. On average it seems that we take about 1 in 9 days off for various reasons dropping this to around 320. We didn't quite make this last year, but we came close. Why do I push myself to do all of this? It is just something that I must do. This is what I came to do. This is what I live for. This is what I am willing to give my life for. Yes, that is exactly what I am doing. I am choosing to give three hours per day or more of my life to this expression. It has become the most important three hours of my day. It is the part that I know will live on long after I am gone. But, this is only true if I make the necessary provisions for it to. While I am alive, I can manage the web site, the daily expression, and the book work. But, who would do this if I were gone? How would the work of Beyond Imagination live on? In this work, I am creating something that is more than me ... something that has the potential to impact many. But it can only do so if it is freely shared in an environment of openness. The WWW provides an opportunity for that. It allows us to express as we will and to reach large audiences potentially. Actually, do I even push at all? I follow the direction of a force inside of me, a force that I choose not to resist, a force that has not led me astray to date as far as I can tell. It is spirits bidding that I do. With her on my side I know that I can be assured that my actions are right. What am I moved to do next? The medications are making me so groggy that it is difficult staying awake this week. The wisdom tooth removal last Friday definitely placed a major stress on the mind/body. The antibiotics and the painkillers alleviate some stress, but they have side effects of their own ... especially interacting with my other medications. I can tell that something is off kilter. I am feeling things that I normally do not feel. The general tiredness is the most difficult to deal with. Nearly all of the medications have drowsiness as a side effect. It is difficult to work when you are fighting to stay awake. Though, it is not clear that there is anything that I can do about it until the healing process takes its course. Deal with it. We have no choice but to make the best of the cards that we are dealt. It is not clear that we can do anything to change that. 30

To do each day at least one thing that will live on. To say each day one memorable thing that has never been said before. To express each day something new ... something that has never before seen the light of day. If we do this, each day we will have done something that makes a difference. And in the end it is such things that really matter. The differences that we have made not only in our lives but the lives of others are what truly matter. It only makes sense that we should focus our energies on these. Much that we do is ultimately for naught in the grander scheme of things. But, some things matter. We need to find what these are and do them wholeheartedly. I still live a very isolated existence. It seems that this needs to change ... yet, I'm not seeing any real signs that it is going to change significantly anytime soon. There is nothing that I am doing that I know of that will result in substantial change. That doesn't mean things are not happening outside of my direct awareness. They very well could be. I don't really know what to look for here. However, there is a growing sense that if I don't do things differently, I'm just going to experience more of the same. And, that is not what I want. It is time to get a life and start interacting with others in meaningful ways. I can always retreat back to my solitary ways if I don't like what I find. But, everything tells me that I will love working in meaningful and synergistic ways with others. It seems that it is time for a realistic assessment of whom that I AM and what I have to offer. I am clearly a unique individual with special talents and skills. Further, it is clear that I came into this existence to carry out a particular mission, one that happens to be quite grandiose, but one that is suited to the special talents and skills that I possess. I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Is that asking for too much? Is that not what a new age promises ... what a new age demands? If not me whom? Why not me? I see that it is something that needs to be done, and it seems that I have the qualifications necessary to carry it out ... why not me? That means that I need to find a way to free myself from the economic prison somehow. I need to find a way to be paid for the services that I would provide of my own rather than for the services that others would demand of me. Is this actually necessary? Can I not do as Jesus said ... and render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is Gods? Can I not continue to partition my time as I have for the past decade? Perhaps I could ... but now we are talking about elegance and effectiveness. And for this, I need to be able to focus my efforts on the work that spirit would have me do. I have a decade of practice and proof of what I can accomplish on a part time basis. Here, we're talking about stepping up the pace and committing to this fully. Can I do that? I can if the appropriate compensation is forthcoming. The Beyond Imagination books have the potential to be a source of funds. But, how long this will take and whether it will actually happen are still in spirits hands. I still live day to day, reacting to what spirit presents to me in the moment. Plans have little place in such an existence. Our vision only extends out one step at a time ... and that is how we live our live, one step after the next trusting that spirit is guiding us every step of the way. But is this the only way to live? Is this even a good way to live? Would it be better to know where we were going so that we could plan for it? Perhaps, but what good does it do to think in such a manner. Such is simply not my way. I am a wayshower. I explore the unknown. For that, there is no other way but one step at a time. In our case, the unknown is the unknown of consciousness. That is the high country, the frontier, the edge of our awareness. I like operating on the edge. I like questioning my on sanity on occasion. It is good for the soul. Life is meant to be a challenge. For many, it is a physical, mental, or emotional challenge. For a lesser number, it is a spiritual challenge. I am definitely in this later group. Life to me is a spiritual adventure or it is nothing. There is no gray here ... not for me. The spiritual colors everything that I do, everything that I see, everything that I experience, everything that I am. I know that it is not like this for others. That is OK. That is a large part of what makes me different and it is this difference that drives me to do the things that I do and believe the things that I believe. What can I do to facilitate my date with destiny? That is an interesting question. It presumes that there is such a date. It presumes that there is something I can do to facilitate it. I strongly believe that both of these presumptions are valid. My destiny is written in my aura, in my numbers, in the stars, and in any 31

number of ways that I have already encountered in my life. These were specific enough to know that my talents are in the 1 in a million or better range. That puts me in rare company on the planet. I know that I came to do specific things to help make the social infrastructures flow more smoothly so that spirit could more fully express through the organizations that are manifested on the planet. Government, the economy, the educational system, the religious institutions are all organizations that fall under this umbrella. No, this doesn't mean that I personally know what it takes to make them all better. But, I have some ideas. In most cases, we need to convene the best and the brightest where we can to come up with workable solutions for the 21st century and beyond. There are no problems that are too big for us to tackle. We just need to be willing to do what it takes to do the right things.

18 September 2003 Back again. We just can't resist coming here to express what spirit would express through us. Got approved to be a member of the Seth Webring. It seems that six to seven million people have read and been moved by Seth's material. That is good. That means there is hope. Further, that means there may be far more people open to what I have expressed than I had hoped or dreamed possible. Being part of the ring may be a way to pull more people to the Beyond Imagination site. It can't hurt anyway. We need to be doing things to make connections such as this. Seth is a very positive a powerful connection. His influence pervades much of this work anyway. I got started early on the Seth Material, starting in 1974. I found my wife via a group that I started to discuss the Seth material. At its height the group only had four people. I married my wife 100 days after I met her. When I am moved to do something, I am moved to do it. There is no place for chance in my worldview. Things happen by design because we choose for them to. We create our own reality both individually and en masse. How good is this material? What would I compare it to? The bottom line is that it is what it is. And, whatever that is is the best that could come forth though me at this time. As such, it is worthy of being shared, and worthy of being consumed. I can do what I can to make it available and share it here on these pages ... but, consumption is a decision that others must make based on exposure and an awareness that the expression exists. How do we make people aware of this? It seems that this is one of my tasks in this existence ... but it is not one that I relish. There is no place that I can go and turn this material in and have them assess just how good it is. It would be nice if there was, but it is simply not that simple. Hmm ... this is an interesting line of thought. In general, for nearly everything that we do there needs to be a way to assess its quality and its utility. We need to know who benefits from it and how they benefit? After all, is that not what service is all about ... deliver benefits to others? Compare not what you do to what others do. You are doing what you need to do in the way you need to be doing it. Such is how life unfolds for you. You could not operate in any other fashion. While this is true for you ... this is by virtue of your level of awareness; it is not true overall for everyone. Further, it is not clear that it ever will be. It s not clear that we will ever make it to the point where all are sufficiently aware to lead lives of light ... lives of spirit, in this existence. Perhaps such a time will come some day but my sense is that I will not be around to see it. It must be enough for me to see a core group operating in this manner. Such a group will serve as a prototype that can demonstrate to the world what is possible. The challenge will be to go from what is possible to what is probable to what is reality for everyone. But, is it right for us to impose anything on everyone? That is not what we are asking to do here. This is not an imposition. This is the establishment of a new way of being. There is a difference. What makes me think I know what is right for society any better than anyone else? All that I know for certain is that I am moved to care enough in this area to express what would come forth through me. Clearly, I don't speak from experience in this existence. Socially, I have so little that I would not be qualified to comment on social matters. But, that doesn't stop me from speaking my mind. Why is that? Why do I allow myself to 32

do this? Why do I speak out in this manner ... especially given that I have no clue as to who will hear me? The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter whether anyone hears or not. It does matter that I express what I am moved to express. Each time I do this, I reinforce a connection with source, a connection with the spirit within. I affirm that it is the inner and not the outer that matters most in my life. Though I am reaching a stage in my life where that is not enough. It is time for the inner to be made manifest in the outer. I have a role to play in doing that. It is up to me to do what it takes to make that happen. There is a reason that I came into this physical existence. There is a purpose that I came to fulfill. Expressing spirit in flesh to the greatest degree that I can at this time on this planet is a major part of that. But how do I do that? Obviously, I do not need to be in the best of physical shape to accomplish this. I've been expressing pretty well for nearly two years and am far from being in optimal shape. I would rate my overall health as good. I don't think that I've been out sick a single day in the past two years. But being healthy and being happy are two different things. Similarly, being aware and being happy are different things. Being happy seems to be elusive for me. It has always been thus. It is like I get an occasional taste of it, but most of the time it is out of my grasp. That is OK. Having things just outside of our grasp gives us something to strive for. But, every now and then we need a success to show us that what we desire is possible to achieve. What would it take for me to be happy? If I don't know, how can I expect the universe to come forth with the right conditions? More money and more things or bigger and better things don't do it for me. More spiritual expression ... I already have the equivalent of a half time job, three published books and five more in the works, plus several thousands of pages at my Beyond Imagination site. How much more expression do I need? More and improved relationships ... yes, this is one area that is pretty dismal in my life. My insistence on being a hermit has not helped here. Though it seems that this is starting to change. Happiness is a choice that we make! It is an attitude that we carry with us as we approach the events of our lives. Then, why am I not choosing to be happy much more of the time? I am engaged for several hours per day in work that challenges all that I am ... that allows me to express things I never knew that I knew in many cases. This says a lot about the nature of whom that we are. Our souls are wise beings that know far more than we can begin to contain within the gray matter of our brains. Why do we let circumstances get in the way of our happiness? Circumstances are temporary, they can be changed. Beingness is permanent. We are forever. There is nothing that we can do that will cause us to cease to be. Oh, these temporal bodies may wither and die, returning dust to dust ... but there is a spirit inside that is infinite and eternal, and that is inviolate. It is these things regardless of what the temporal forms experience. Remember, experiencing something does not necessarily make it real ... it only makes it experienced. So, what does it take to Be Happy? That indeed is a question worth living for. For me, I have found that it helps to listen well to the voice within, and to do as I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. There is great satisfaction that comes from doing this. And satisfaction is akin to happiness. It is in the same family anyway. I close each of these musings with the same admonitions. I've been using Be Happy and Create Well nearly as long as I've been expressing. It just seemed like the right thing to say. If you're going to be something, happy seems to be as good as anything. And create well acknowledges our part as the creators of our own reality. If we are going to create, we might as well do it well! Even after over a decade, it still seems like the natural thing for me to say.

19 September 2003 A new day. Another opportunity to express. And, once again we are moved to come here and do just that. This has become a habit of late. The particular times and the durations may vary ... but nearly everyday we engage in this stream of consciousness expression. It is clearly a highly valued activity in 33

our day. Otherwise it wouldn't get the attention and the resources that it does. This is the one thing that we do that has the potential to survive long after we are dead and gone. The expression that is captured here is captured forever ... or at least for as long as it has utility in the world. And, it seems that I am not to be the judge of that. My job is to bring forth what I can and to make it available. It is for others to disseminate it, consume it, and use it as appropriate. Can I be happy doing my job in a vacuum, without seeing the ultimate results that it assists in producing? If I have to ... such I will do. But, my sense is that I will see the principles come to life in action ... and I will see some of the results that are created from this. At this point it is just an inner feeling. But, I have learned to trust such inner feelings. Besides, what else do I have to go by? The "reality" of the consensus world does not conform with my understanding of how things work. I live in a world that is primarily spiritual that happens to be having a physical expression at the moment. This is a matter of attitude. This colors how I look at everything. In fact, this even determines what I decide to look at as important at all. I have very strong spiritual blinders. Unless something has a strong spiritual component, it just doesn't get through these filters. This wasn't always the case. But it has been for many years now. We all use filters to make our lives simpler by eliminating the things that we simply don't want to see. We only have so much time. Filters allow us to focus that time on those things that are most important to us. We create filters via beliefs, primarily beliefs about what things mean and what things are important to us. We need to be careful though. In doing this, we are effectively constructing our reality to conform with our filters. That doesn't mean that this reality is indeed real or even good in any absolute sense. We need to be open and flexible and evaluate it for utility. We can literally change the world that we experience by changing our filters. They are that powerful. There is no one objective world that everyone experiences. We each have our own subjective experiences ... and you might be surprised at just how subjective these are. Oh, there is a common natural backdrop to our experiences. But on top of that backdrop we display incredible freedom and creativity to produce whatever we desire to experience. However, much of this happens on other than conscious levels. We haven't yet learned to be the conscious creators that we could be. That would require the acceptance of far more responsibility than most have been willing to accept. But that doesn't matter. This is indeed the direction that we are moving in ... toward conscious creation of what we experience. Along with that comes conscious responsibility not only for what our choices do to us, but for what they do to others and society as a whole. Either we are responsible or we are not. Either we create our own reality or we do not. There is no room for gray areas here. I believe that we are responsible and we do create our own reality. Though, I allow that a greater part of myself of which I am not yet consciously aware is still doing much of the creating. This will change as I move further on the path towards knowing myself. For now, it is enough to know that I am responsible and I am creating the reality that I experience. If I don't like it, my beliefs are the place to go to effect the changes necessary to create something different. That is how the process works. It's been another lazy kind of day. With the medications for my extracted wisdom tooth added to my normal suite of medications ... staying awake was a major challenge this week. But, we made it. A couple more hours and a two hour drive and the week is history. I wonder whether Beyond Imagination Quotes will be waiting for me to proof. It should be, but who knows. That would make book number six for the year with two more already in the publishers hands. I'm going to have to do something to publicize the books. I don't know what that is yet. But, somehow I need to announce that the works exist to a lot of people. One company that does this for authors has contacted me via e-mail, but something doesn't feel right about it. I'm not sure why. It's not like I have much of a clue of what I am doing in this area. I've done what I can to announce the published books at the Beyond Imagination site. However, I don't know how many people that is reaching. The main page of the site only gets about 6-7 hits per day ... not a lot of traffic overall. That's another area we need to work on. It seems that the traffic that the site receives is not indicative of the value of the material at the site. There is a lot of material expressed at Beyond Imagination that has the potential to serve a lot of people. How do we let them know that the site exists and what it contains so that we might entice them to visit and explore what we have to offer? Is 34

that expecting too much. We have given a lot of ourselves to share all that is expressed at Beyond Imagination. All that we ask is that our sharing is not for naught ... that we find an appropriate audience that might benefit from what spirit has so freely shared through us. Part of the problem is that people might not know that sites such as this exist hence would not even be searching for them. If you've found us ... please don't keep the information to yourself. Please share it with others who you feel might benefit from it as well. Word of mouth advertising is still among the best that there is. Your efforts in this regard are greatly appreciated. Speaking of connections, if you have a related site and want to exchange links, I am open to doing that. Let me know the URL and a brief description of the site and I'll add it to my links page. Links are how we build interconnectivity in our webs of information. I don't know the degree to which people follow links to explore the WWW, but that is one avenue that is available. Personally, I spend far more time generating and posting information to the WWW than consuming it. But, that is just me. Someone must be reading all of the material that is generated. It is amazing that we live in an age where the freedom of information is so clearly manifested. I can generate this now and within minutes of finishing post the file to a server in Monterey which makes it available to anyone in the world who knows the URL or who accesses an additional updated file that I post that has a link to this file. In this case, I have a main file where my daily musings are posted. New dates (links) are added nearly daily. This does bring up a difficulty with the WWW. There is so much information available. How do we tell what information is right? How do we tell what information is good? How do we quickly find information relevant to what we want to know? The questions are endless. Who is turning the information into knowledge and the knowledge into wisdom? Information on it's own has limited utility. It needs a context to give it meaning. Who provides such contexts? This seems to be a skill that few seem to have. That makes it a valuable commodity or service. Hmm ... it seems that this is where I come into the picture. At Beyond Imagination we provide more than information. Though, it is not clear what to call what we provide. Most of the material is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, I didn't consciously organize it or even create it for that matter. It just happened. It just came forth ... much as it is coming forth now. I am present, watching it happen. But, I have no awareness of being the entity that is responsible for doing it. This I believe to be spirit herself, the one consciousness that animates us all. One of the primary benefits of the Beyond Imagination experience is that you get to walk where my consciousness has walked for awhile. That is possible because I was moved to capture this state for so many hours over the days, weeks, months, and years. I find it interesting to go back and read where I was at a particular point in time. It amazes me that even after a decade of doing this, the experience is always fresh and new. It doesn't matter how many times I've read a particular passage. When I read it again, it is as if it is the very first time. That should not be possible. But, that is what I experience. I try to stay away from speculating about what is possible and what is not possible. Whenever we do this, we needlessly limit ourselves. It is better to free ourselves from such limits wherever we can. This is always our choice to make. It is for us to make it wisely. What would I do next? Those five frequent words. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. And the standard response. But, what does this mean in practical terms here and now? Obviously, I'm still musing ... so this is one of the things that I am moved to do. I'm still primarily alone ... so I haven't taken any action to break out of my shell. I've only sold two books at work and only a dozen people or so are even aware that I have published them. Then again, why should I expect them to be interested? They have their own lives to lead. In seven years of working here, I've only gotten close enough to a few people to even discuss metaphysics. That side of my life has remained hidden. Why should I expect things to change now? For one thing, because I want them to. I choose to live my life more congruently with what I believe. That means expressing it to an even greater degree than I have. That is OK. This is whom that I AM coming out in a way that I never have before. It is about time. We 35

are already 45. How long do we have to wait to fully express who we are? It seems that it won't be much longer. We have finally come of age as it were. How appropriate for a new age. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the coming weeks and months. We're asking to do things in ways that we have never done them. We're asking to interact with others in ways that are new as well. Are we really up to this? That is asking a lot. However, the alternatives are not acceptable. We have lived alone in this life for far longer than was absolutely necessary. That was a choice that we made ... but it does not have to continue a moment longer. Reality creation is that strong. We can change our reality in an instant. It is a matter of choice, a matter of choosing to believe differently about ourself and how we express.

20 September 2003 The proof copy of Beyond Imagination Quotes was indeed waiting for me when I got home. I'll generate the corrections page tomorrow and fax in the approval form. The only corrections at this point are formatting ones. I did the major proofing before sending the book to the publisher. I'm not going to do that again. The return on investment in terms of errors corrected per hour is just not there. That means as of tomorrow, I will have done all that I can do to get six of eight books published. Not bad considering we still have three months left in the year. However, the next question is what is the next step? So, we have books published. How do we generate book sales? It doesn't do much good to have all this information readily available in this format if there isn't anyone meant to consume it. What does the material do for whom? That is a reasonable question to ask. What can one expect to gain as a result of reading the Beyond Imagination books? For one thing you get to experience the stream of consciousness of one who has become aware to a greater degree than most. I liken this to the journal of an explorer of old describing the wilderness he encountered. Only, my wilderness is the wilderness of consciousness. What I am able to bring forth is the most faithful rendering of what I have been able to experience. This is not such an easy area to explore. The realm of consciousness is connected to the mind but extends far beyond the limits of the brain and the mind. There is so much that we are not conscious of. Even basic functions regarding how our bodies and minds operate are beyond our understanding. It is amazing that this would be the case. Yet, overall we have no problem functioning. It doesn't matter that we don't know how we are going to end a sentence when we start it. We can begin to utter it anyway trusting the basic nature of our self to come through to finish it appropriately. We don't have to worry about breathing or keeping our heart beating, these processes occur quite naturally. However, we do need to be concerned about health and overall body image. What are we comfortable with? What do we want to express? What statement do we want to make about whom that we are? Our body is one of our most intimate creations. It seems that we should be making choices that keep it in synch with our image of what we want it to be. I'm one to talk. I'm about 50 pounds more than a comfortable weight at the moment. That's a lot of calories to burn. What does it take to motivate me to do it? I've tried several diets. They seem to work for awhile and then I'm back up to my old weight. What would move me to make a lifestyle change that supports this? That seems to be what is ultimately required. It has been an outstanding year for Beyond Imagination in terms of productivity. With the exception of making this a fulltime job, I can't see how I could be much more productive. However, it is not clear that producing and publishing more words is what is needed anymore. We need to take a leap in a different direction and start doing things that get the world out. One thing that might help is a Beyond Imagination introduction package ... maybe 10 pages of so of passages and description of Beyond Imagination works. I'm really out of my element here. These are not your average books. The material at the Beyond Imagination site is not for everyone. I know that. It will take special methods to find the audience for which the books were published. Interesting ... were published is indeed correct. As the material was 36

coming forth there was no indication as to whom the material was intended. Though, I did have an Editors/Publishers Sought page where I described a variety of books that might be created from the Beyond Imagination material. It is interesting that I was moved to generate many of these this year. Interesting, but not surprising. Beyond Imagination has been primarily a solo activity. Though, I did get some help with The Search for Center Newsletter. Why was it necessary to create and publish so many books this year? It just was. I did what I was moved to do. Also, the universe kicked in and provided some much needed funds at an opportune time. Everything just seemed right. It still does. Patience. There is an overwhelming feeling that I need to be doing more. Yet, at the same time the guidance is to be patient. Things will unfold in their proper timing. You are in spirits hands now. She would not lead you astray. Continue to do as you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. As you do so, you will be doing exactly those things that need to be done by you. Allow others to do their parts as well. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? What others are we talking about? You are here to express. You are doing that. Though, is not part of expression to ensure that the communication reaches its intended audience? Actually no, that is not a necessary part of expression. It often occurs concurrently, but not always. So, could it be that there are others who are to help ensure that the expression that is Beyond Imagination reaches others? If so, when will I find them or they find me? Patience. Patience. Patience. Spirit will not be rushed. It may seem that the timing of things is urgent, but it is not so urgent as it seems. Things are unfolding exactly as they need to unfold. There is nothing that you have to do differently. Though there are things that you might choose to do differently that could facilitate the work that Beyond Imagination is doing. OK, you've peaked my curiosity, what things? Look for opportunities to express what you know to audiences of any size. This can be informally or formally.

21 September 2003 OK. We've committed. Just faxed the proof corrections and the approval form for Beyond Imagination Quotes to the publisher. That makes number six. The remaining two for the year are already in the publishers hands as well. The final one went out just over a week ago. That is still a remarkable feat. Eight published books in one year ... all non-fiction, many of them above 500 pages. Though, I did have a decade's worth of expression to call on. I can easily see adding another four or five books in 2004 at the pace that I am going ... perhaps more depending on where the expression takes me. There is not a whole lot of prior work to call on; at least not without significant massaging and new work to tie it together in new ways. That may or may not be on the agenda. At this point, I simply don't know what 2004 will bring. But, I am anxious to see. 2002 and 2003 have been such spectacular years for expression. And there do not seem to be any signs that this is going to let up anytime soon. 2004 is just over three months away. At the pace the weeks have been flying by, that is simply no time. Yet, on the other hand, it is over 1/4 of the year. That over 25 percent. That is a lot of time to continue doing things. And we are. We're working on annotating Beyond Mind and continuing with the nearly daily musings that will ultimately flow into 2003 Musing - Vol 3. Those should be the first two books for 2004. That is, unless something else comes up in the next couple months that I just have to do. It could happen. It has happened before. Then, there is the publicizing side of the picture. How do we get the word of the Beyond Imagination site and the Beyond Imagination works out to those who might benefit from them? This is an area I am definitely weak in. I was hoping by now to find others who might be stronger in this area to join forces with. However, it is not clear whether that will happen or not. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking. Perhaps it was operating out of a fear of doing this myself. But what is there to fear? What I am offering to share is whom that I am, what I have experienced, and what I know. That is a lot. And, hence is worth a lot. I've made most of the material available for free so people can sample what they will be getting. Also, I didn't want finances to preclude people from benefiting from the material. All that I ask is that people abide by the rule from The Lion King - never take more than you give. Whenever you take 37

something, anything, from anywhere ... make sure that you pay for it by giving back more than its worth somewhere in your life. This doesn't always involve a direct payback to the source from which you took originally. Allow spirit to ensure that the circles eventually return appropriately. We are energy generators. One form of energy is these very words of this very expression. Captured and shared, this material has the potential to impact many. Whether it will or not seems to depend on a number of things some of which I have control over and some of which I don't (or don't seem to anyway). I can capture the material in web pages. I can post the material to the WWW. I can package parts of the material and publish it as books. These are all within my power as I have demonstrated over the past decade. Though, the actual publishing has only really occurred since mid-July of this year. We have not had enough time to see just what kind of impact this will have. Though, my statement showed the first two weeks of sales at the end of July were nil. I don't know what to expect in this area. I only know that I was strongly moved to publish the books ... all of them. Once that I knew that I could do it, it became more than a possibility ... it became a reality awaiting actualization. I knew there was nothing that could stop me from doing what I set out to do. This was all under my control. Though the help from the universe with the finances to publish three books was definitely a godsend. Spirit does indeed work in mysterious ways. I had enough finances to comfortably cover publishing everything else. It truly is amazing. But, life is that way when we look for her to be. Nearly every aspect of our consciousness is beyond our understanding. Oh, there are some tools and techniques that can be used to get our consciousness to work for us to create things, events, and experiences in our lives. Some of these seem to work better for some people than for others. Here it seems we are each unique and ultimately we must find what works for us. No, that is not like finding a needle in a haystack. We are naturally drawn to the things that work for us when we allow our inner resources to be expressed. There is a force within us that drives us toward actualization of whom that we are. It helps if we cooperate and allow it to manifest what it will in our lives ... but many seem to fight it tooth and nail. How futile this is. Our Self knows exactly where we belong and how best to get us there. It does not have to be difficult. That is not to say it won't be a challenge. Spirit seems to thrive on challenges. They keep life interesting. Boredom is akin to death. Actually, it is worse than death. Yet, how do we live a life free from the grips of boredom? Many escape to entertainment. But, is that a suitable response ... or is that just avoidance? What if we found ways to engage people to assist in solving the major problems of the day? Is that possible to do? Can the collective resources of people be harnessed in such a manner? My sense is yes. It won't be easy. It will require determined effort. But, we can indeed use the collective mindpower of groups of people to solve many of the challenging problems of the day. It is a matter of having the resolve to do it and committing the appropriate resources to make it happen. As a society, we can do this. All resources collectively belong to us. It is our collective choice as to where to engage them. Remember, we get what we focus effort upon. If we want change in any area ... if we want to fix problems that plague us, we need to commit sufficient resources. But, won't we eventually run out? Won't we get to a point where there are still things that need to be done but there are no resources left to do them? My sense is no, we will never reach such a point. We are too resource rich for that. However, here is where priorities and resource leveling would come into play. We might want to apply fewer resources to higher priority tasks to free some up for additional tasks at the bottom. The bottom line is that collectively we have only begun to tap our potential. We are far less effective than we could be. Between improvements in effectiveness, a tithe of time, and eliminating unemployment ... we increase the available working force by on the order of 20-25 percent. That is a lot of resources to apply toward making things better for all of us. Further, that is not all. A good portion of the current time is already involved in providing many of the services that society needs. We just need more from these. We need the services to touch our spirit somehow. More and more, we will find that we demand this. The spiritual part of us will not be denied. It will have its rightful place in our interactions in the world. How do we know what this is? One, we take the time to go within to find out. This part of us is not hidden. It is there waiting for us to contact it and invite it to become an active force in our lives. 38

It will not force its way in. It is content to stay quietly on the sidelines until we notice that it is there and take the steps to come to know it. That is what the process of know thyself is all about. For, this inner self is as much a part of us as any. You might even say that it is more ... because in many ways it is effectively running the show. Even if we are not aware of it, it is running the show. Perhaps, especially if we are unaware of it. We take great strides to give the appearance that we are in control of our lives. But, for most of us ... that is a front, not reality. The truth is that we are swayed by emotions over which we have limited control as well as thoughts over which we have limited ability to evaluate for ourselves. We continue to speak with a voice that is more than ours. Even after over a decade of doing this, we are no closer to discovering the source than we were that very first day. It is simply someplace inside of us to which we are able to connect where this stream of consciousness flows. It is interesting that it flows as it does. One might expect it to be more disjointed. Though, the sentences and paragraphs can vary dramatically from one to the next. That is OK. Consciousness undergoes such context switches. It is OK to record these as they happen. Actually, I feel it is my duty to do so. The objective is to give you as complete of a picture of what I experience as I can do in words. Since my experience is in words ... conveying it in words only seemed natural. What has worked for a decade continues to work today. Though, it would be nice to have some feedback as to what is actually conveyed in this manner. I know what words I captured. I don't know what reading those words actually does for others. I've had several feedback e-mails over the past decade, but we’re probably talking no more than several dozen. That is not enough of a sampling to know what people are getting from the material. I really do desire to know. This could affect how I choose to present things in the future. The other option is that I am meant to express in the dark as it were ... without much feedback. I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I express what I am moved to express. I trust that my life is unfolding in accord with a master plan of which I have limited awareness. I'm not sure that I like this option, though it does allow me to retain my hermit ways. The sense is that it makes the work of Beyond Imagination more difficult in the long run ... primarily due to the lack of synergy that community would allow. I remember stating something to the effect that we need to ensure the living continuity of what we know by teaching what we have learned to at least one other living person before we pass on. Depending on our interests we may have to teach parts of what we know to different people. We can't necessarily expect to find someone like us that would be interested in all of it.

22 September 2003 Six books now grace the top of the bureau in my office. Six books with my name as the author. OK, only three of these are officially published at this point in time. But the remaining three are within two to three weeks ... so it is effectively a fait accompli. As of February or so, I had no idea that I would be publishing any of this material this year. That was only seven months ago. My what a different half of a year can make. And, we still have a quarter of a year remaining this year. The phrase that comes to mind is no rest for the weary. I have been more weary than normal of late. Yet, despite this, I am moved to express even more than normal. It seems that there is no end in site. The more that I express ... the more that there seems to be awaiting expression. At some point, I have to draw the line and say enough is enough. Though, I am reluctant to do this. I do enjoy this expression so. This is my life ... or at least a major part of it, and arguably the most important part of it. Perhaps that is why my experience with relationships is so strained and limited. I simply don't give them their full due. If I’m ever going to ever get beyond my self-imposed isolation, I need to take steps to open up in this area. Part of this is to become genuinely interested in other individuals. I am interested in doing things that would benefit all of society, but how does that apply to each individual? I haven't really made that connection yet. And, it seems that this is one of the things that is holding me back. Interesting. How does what I express specifically benefit 39

anyone? What does it do for whom? Is this something that I can even answer? I know what this expression does for me. It uplifts me and allows me to experience states of consciousness that I otherwise might not experience. These are positive and empowering states of consciousness that teach me much of whom that I AM. Is the expression universal enough to be able to do that for others as well? I believe so. That is part of what keeps me coming back to do this and then taking the steps to share what is expressed. Six published books. At one time not too long ago, that was just a goal in my mind. Now, we are literally within weeks of making it a reality and have two additional books at the publisher to meet our objective of eight for 2003. Yes, 2003 has been a very productive year. It will be interesting to see what we can do in 2004 to top it. For, there is a sense that such is indeed what is destined. These are building years. Each year builds upon the prior ones to achieve something new. I don't know how long this will continue. Though, it seems that it will at least go on through my first Easter birthday in 2007. There is something about that time that seems special somehow. It marks a new phase in my life, another death and rebirth of some type. I don't set many goals. I have never been one to do this. I'm not much of a planner either. I don't even wear a watch. I haven't for over 20 years. This results in a funny relationship with time. There are enough clocks around to get up when I need to and to make it to meetings at work. But, I try not to schedule much of anything. I prefer to keep my days unstructured. I prefer to be able to follow the chief inner guidance that I have received: do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. This has always been good guidance. I have been able to count on spirit to do the moving in my life. And, she seems far more knowledgeable and able than I am. That doesn't relieve me of responsibility for my actions or inactions however. She may guide and "move", but it is ultimately my choice to be moved and act. It was strange seeing myself set the goal of six published books in 2003 and objective of eight published books. That was just something I wasn't used to doing. But, once it became a possibility ... once I could see the way for it to happen, the variables were all under my control. It was just a matter of applying effort in the right way. As it turned out, once I got into it, this was far easier than I imagined that it would be. Putting the books together was a snap. The most difficult part was the proofing. If I had sufficient resources, that is one part that I would definitely hire out. I am not a detail person by nature. I can take care of the details when I have to, but that is not where my greatest strengths lay. I'm much better at seeing the big picture and working from the top down. I know this. It is obvious in my work and my education. The classes and work assignments that I did best in required these skills. How do I put myself in a position where my best skills are used in a manner that can benefit many? Who says you are not already in such a position? You have a job that pays you what you need to survive comfortably. And, you have plenty of time to express what we would have you express. What more do you need? Why do you insist that the work that you are paid for and the work that you love be one and the same? Yes, this would be ideal. But, that is not a necessity. But, couldn't I do a whole lot more good work if I could do it on a fulltime rather than a part time basis? Perhaps, but leave the timing to us. It will happen when it happens. There is nothing that you can do to force it to happen. Actually, as far as work goes ... things are picking up and getting interesting. Though, it still can be difficult to stay awake at times. It seems that I am just not suited to work indoors for such long stretches at a time. Yet, what do I do? I spend 10-12 hours in front of a computer each day during the week. That is a lot of time. Something tells me that it can't be healthy. But, I do what I must do. Between work and this expression, such is my chosen reality. That is, assuming I really have a choice in all of this. I guess that I could have a different kind of a job. But, I am good with ideas ... and information workers typically are stuck with using computers. That is OK. I actually enjoy it. There is power that comes from being knowledgeable and able to do ones job well. Though, there is another part of me that wonders what I might be capable of if all of my creative forces were unleashed to do what I know that I can do. What could I do if I were truly enthusiastic about what I was doing? The sense is that this is far more than I can imagine. That is saying a lot. I have seen myself accomplish a lot and I can imagine doing far more. 40

But, will I have the opportunity to do so. It seems that this is a matter of making not having the opportunity. We can do whatever we set our minds, our hearts, and our spirits to do. It takes all three to reach the level of commitment necessary to make things happen. And even then, it must be consistent with what we believe or it simply won't happen. Beliefs are that powerful. They are that important to the reality that we experience. I'm still feeling the effects of my wisdom tooth being removed just over a week ago. Healing is a slow process, at least in this case. I found it curious that transiting Uranus was exactly opposed my Natal Pluto on the day of the removal. I don't know how to interpret that but an exact aspect of outer planets is quite rare. This particular aspect is a once in a lifetime occurrence. This year has a lot of outer planet energy at play in my chart. I believe that is why it has unfolded in the way that it has. In particular, there is something about the transiting Pluto trine Natal Sun that is triggering all of the desire for publishing. At times, we even have multiple aspects in close proximity at the same time. This truly is a special year. It would have been even if we had not know about all the outer planet activity. But, this is just another confirmation. The universe works in mysterious ways. But, she has given us symbol systems by which to gain insight into some of her activity. However, it is for us to learn of these systems and engage them in our lives if they are to be of benefit. No, we don't have to do this. Nothing is forced upon us. They are there for us if we choose to use them. Is there some significance in having a wisdom tooth removed at age 45? It is my first. That leaves me with three. Many people have all four removed at a much earlier age. However, mine have never really bothered me, so there was no need. This particular one had a hole and was decayed so the dentist decided it had to come out. From the amount of decay, it seems he was right. Though, I would not want to go through that again. Hopefully, I won't have to. Over three hours in the dental chair with over two hours of active dental work was more than enough to last for awhile. Though I do have another tooth close to where the work was done that needs a crown. I've never really liked doctors or dentists. To the degree that I could, I've avoided both for most of my life. And, I've been pretty successful at it. I'm anxious to get on with the next phase of my life. There is a strong sense that I'm at a crossroads. It seems that there are multiple paths that my life could take. It will be interesting to see what choices I make and what experiences result from those choices. Actually, to some degree, it seems that the bulk of the choices have already been made. It is a matter of allowing them to manifest. No, that is not shirking my responsibility in anyway. I am fully responsible for all that I experience. The issue is one of at what level we make our choices. To me, it seems that this is still primarily at other than conscious levels. We can make it more conscious if we so choose, but this is not a necessity for living happily. Make everyday count. Do what you can do to make a difference somehow. In the end, that is all that matters. What did we do that make a difference in the world? Is that so important? Is it not enough to make a difference to ourself and those whose lives we touch directly? Why am I so insistent on a more grandiose part to play? It just seems right. I see what abilities I have and see what potential there is for using these abilities to serve the world. Service before self ... that is the motto for the Air Force. That is one of the mottos that I live by. Then again, I could imagine how some people might consider this expression self-serving. However, I don't see it that way. It is what it is. I still don't know how it is created. Even after ten years, the process is still a mystery. That is OK. Mysteries are good. You might say that is one of the things that keeps me coming back. What else would I do with my life? What would I do that would result in products of more lasting value? Is not this expression enough? Are not these ideas sufficient to be worthy of my presence on the planet? It seems the answer is no, or I would feel more satisfied than I do. There is still a sense that I am not doing enough. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself and will never do enough. Then again, by definition, whatever I am able to do must be enough ... especially if I am sincere in my effort. 41

23 September 2003 One by one, the days continue to march on. I'm in a class most of the week, so the time is going by even more rapidly than normal. I'm still struggling with being tired however ... even though both the class and this expression are interesting. That is just not enough, it seems. Oh well. We do the best we can with the opportunities that we are given. Further, we realize that these are the very opportunities that we created for ourselves. There is a difference between being productive and busy and being happy. For me, the former seems to be a necessary component for the later, but it clearly is not a sufficient component. Why is it that happiness is so elusive? It seems that it should be a state that is natural and easy to reach. But, this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not in my life to date. My productivity is very high both at work and in this expression. But somehow, that is not enough. My spirit demands more. And, it will have more for I will do what it takes to meet its demands. That is an interesting way of looking at things, but an accurate one from my perspective. I can only relate what I know from my own experience. Though, even I am surprised by some of the things that I know. Who would get what from this expression? Who is the intended audience? What is the intended message that I am trying to communicate? Do I even know? Should I know? Or, is this something that I can leave to the universe to determine? To date, this is exactly what I have done with few exceptions. When I have attempted to do things to get the word out about Beyond Imagination, the effort has generally failed dismally. I took this as feedback that either my timing or approach was wrong. Now, it seems the energies are different somehow. Things that have failed in the past may work fine now. One way or another, it seems that Beyond Imagination is to grow into something from which great works can be done ... works far beyond anything we have created to date, works that go beyond words to building the actual foundations for a new world. I feel this transformation happening. I don't see much tangible evidence of it yet, but I trust that this too will come in time. All that we can do is carry out our roles as we see them. If we do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... we will be doing exactly that. I guess we need to be a bit careful here that it is spirit that is doing the moving. Otherwise we could wreak havoc in not only our lives but the lives of others. Coming from a hermit perspective, I lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of people on the planet do not see things and experience things in the way that I do. However, my sense is that if you are reading this ... you are part of a select few who have awakened and become sufficiently aware of your spiritual nature to express it in your life on a regular basis. Where do we go from here? We continue to express. That is a given. That is still a necessary outlet. But, what else would we do? How would we make people aware of the Beyond Imagination works that have been done to date? It seems that we need to get the word out if the expression is to reach and influence those it is meant to touch. Then again, from another perspective, it will indeed reach those whom it is meant to reach ... for such is destined somehow. Though that doesn't relieve us from the need to do something if we feel that it is indeed our job to spread the word. I'm still doing this in terms of a little thing here and a little thing there ... a link here, an advertisement there. It seems something bigger is in order -- something like an advertising campaign. Though for this I would need to be very clear about what benefits the material was providing to whom. If it is meant to be, it will be ... Those words just popped into my head. I was thinking about what part I have to play in making this a reality. It is not for me necessarily to choose to create whatever I would create in and of my own. Rather, it is for me to actively allow those things to manifest that are consistent with carrying out my mission. This is a much easier task when we do it right. There are far fewer false paths and dead ends involved. Though there is nothing that says that we have to take the easy path. It is always open to us. But it is our choice. We are free to live our lives as we choose.

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Today is going to be a short musing day. Even with a late afternoon nap, I'm fading rapidly. That is OK. We deal with the cards that we are dealt. States of consciousness are still very fluid for me. I like to think that I have more control than most. And, the very fact that I can maintain sufficient focus to express here as I do for as long as I do is evidence of this control. At the same time, I'm bipolar and under some pretty heavy medication to control it ... anti-depressant, anti-seizure, and anti-psychotic. Drowsiness is a major side effect of each of the medications. Yet, that doesn't stop my spirit from soaring at times. These bouts of moderate mania may last from days to weeks. They are refreshing and uplifting times for me. They are when I feel most inspired, most connected to source. Of course, the doctors do not see the spiritual side to all of this. They see a mental disorder in which the brain chemistry is out of whack and needs to be brought under control by dosages of drugs that bring levels to within the "therapeutic range". To me, this "disorder" is a feature of how my mind functions that allows me to see things differently than others are able to see them. Whether this is ultimately good or bad depends on it utility. What does it allow me to do? One of the things that it allows me to do is to express in the manner that I do. It is interesting that this expression began at about the time of the diagnosis of the bipolar condition.

24 September 2003 Here we are again, expressing as spirit would have us express. I can think of no better way to spend my time then engaged in this stream of consciousness expression. Perhaps that is why there are so few people in my life. It seems I have already made my choice as to where I am going to apply my focus, attention, and energy. Though such choices can change at any time. There is nothing that holds us to our prior choices except ourselves and our own inertia. At times this can be a good thing. It can keep us going through the rough times and get us to bright days that lie ahead. But, during times when massive change is called for ... inertia is not such a good thing. It keeps us from getting to where we need to be, or results in getting there much more slowly or more circuitously than necessary. Then again, from another perspective, if we experience it ... then it is necessary, almost by definition. That is a hard thing to swallow when you look at all the pain and suffering experienced by so many in the world. Can all of that really be necessary? How could spirit be so cruel as to permit all of that to happen in that manner? However, the very way that we are asking the question is flawed. Everything is spirit in expression. Everything being experienced is being experienced by spirit. If it could have avoided some of the hurt and the suffering, it would have. So, the bottom line must mean that this could not have been avoided. Until we take responsibility for it, and for doing something about it, that is true ... nothing can be done except through us and by us. At what point are we going to realize that the reality that we experience is the reality that we are creating for ourselves both individually and collectively? Until we do this, there is no hope that we will build a better world. For, a better world starts with each of us living a better life, and doing things to contribute to improvements in our communities and our world. We have the power to do great things, individually and collectively. Whether we will tap this power and use it for this purpose remains to be seen. I'm an optimist at heart, so I believe that we will indeed succeed in this. In fact, I believe that there is a spiritual destiny being played out that will ultimately ensure that this happens. It is as if it is already a spiritual certainty, it is just a matter of time before it manifests physically. Allowing free will to manifest is not "cruel". However, it does create an environment where unscrupulous operators could take advantage of gullible and unsuspecting victims. Do the victims choose to be victims? In some cases we can say yes. People choose to drink alcohol or to smoke cigarettes. But, it seems there are many exchanges in the economic system where there should be far more assistance in screening the quality and value of goods and services that are offered to the public. Sellers should not be free to sell whatever buyers are willing to buy. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? That is directly counter to the basis of a free market economy. In a free market, it is the presence of potential consumers that drives the need for a particular good or service. Here, we are saying that is not enough. The seller 43

must demonstrate that his goods or services have more value than the fulfillment of some consumer desire. This puts us on shaky ground. In the free market, if the item didn't sell, the seller went out of business. Things were simple. Now, we need some means to judge the value of goods and services independent of the prices people are willing to pay on the open market. Why do I believe this can be done any better than the free market has done it? Because I can look out and see what choices I have and what those choices cost me. In many ways I am more free than my ancestors, but in other ways I am more enslaved. In particular, I am far more in debt than they ever were. It takes a lot to live a comfortable lifestyle these days. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot to show for it. But, much of it is borrowed, rather than owned. Also, comfortable now is far more comfortable than it has ever been. What I do own is this expression. And, it is one thing I choose to freely share. Though I also invite you to purchase some of the published books that we have available. I just noticed that the publishers web site is down due to major rework. Hopefully, it won't be down for long. I guess that means I should make the preview pages available as links from the Published Books page. Though, in most cases, if you want a sample of what is in the book, most of the material is already somewhere at this site. The sad part is that right now, I'm probably the only one that knows what is where. Though, most of it is pretty obvious. Even the brief introductions for each book identify what the source was for that work. With the exception of some introductions and conclusions, nearly everything in all eight of the Beyond Imagination books generated to date is posted at the Beyond Imagination site. In some cases you have to look in a lot of files. For instance, 2003 Musings - Vol I is spread over 112 files; The Early Works are spread over 15 files; Best Passages from 2002 Musings is spread over 6 files. What would I do next? There is a deep inner longing to make myself known to others somehow ... to a much greater degree than I have ever done. This can happen in two ways: one, through personal contact and interaction; two, through exposure of people to this expression. Much of whom that I AM is revealed here in these works. That has been true since the beginning. This expression is my way of sharing who I am with the world. It is documented in writing. Much of it is date stamped. There is not a single word that I would take back even if I could. The expression is what it is. It is not something that I am trying to make of it. When I express, the only purpose that I have in mind is to express what consciousness would bring forth as clearly as I can. I know that I am not consciously in control of what is being expressed. It is not clear that I can even control whether it will be expressed or not. I am compelled as if by a force that I cannot resist. Not that I would want to resist it even if I could. But, what about free will? Do I create my own reality or not? How can I not be in control of such a simple decision as whether to express or not to express? It is a matter of levels at which choices are made. I have freely accepted that I have a spiritual mission and that part of this mission is allowing this stream of consciousness from source that constitutes Beyond Imagination to come forth. Consciously, I place a high priority on this activity. That seems to assure that I am moved to express for an appropriate amount of time nearly every day. We always find time to do those things that we value the most. In fact, that is one of the ways to find out what we value the most ... look at where we spend our time, especially our free time. I don't imagine myself as a people person. I don't see myself meeting and interacting with large numbers of people. Is this a limitation that I am imposing on myself or is this a realization of my nature? Yet, is there something that I know that is of value that I can teach to others ... even large numbers of others? What this expression has taught me is something of awareness and the nature of consciousness. Are these things that I can impart unto others? Can they get it from these writings? Can they get it from my presence? Clearly, I believe that I have experienced things that most have not and that as a wayshower I am here to share what I have experienced in a manner that shows the way for others. I do this because it is where I naturally gravitate to. This is what I came to do. This is my spiritual mission. It is by far the most important thing that I do in my life. It is here that I truly live. It is here that I can be whom that I AM, even if none other be aware at the time that I express. I have little insight as to who or how many this expression touches. Further, I have no idea as to how long the technology will be around that allows 44

it to remain available to the world. The WWW is growing and changing as we speak. I'm still using basic HTML. More advanced web pages are two or three generations beyond that already. This month marks the 8 year point for the Beyond Imagination web site. I would guess that we have close to 4000 pages or 3 million words of expression by now. Not bad for a part time endeavor, and primarily a solo one. Though, how can I say solo, when source is there nearly all of the time? And, as yet, I don't count source as something that I consciously know to be me. Express what would be expressed through you. Worry not as to where it comes from or where it will go. The material will reach those whom it is meant to reach. Yes, you will have a major role to play in facilitating that. But, you don't have to overdo it. You will be guided each step along the way. Just keep taking one step after the next in the direction that feels right to you. Trust! You will know what the right direction is. You will know! You have reached a point where your awareness is such that you naturally detect and attract the spiritual into your life. To some degree, you have always done such. Hence the purple as the top band of color in your aura. Yes, I know that. There is a strong sense of a great spiritual destiny to fulfill. And, there is no doubt that I will fulfill it. Interesting. I said "I" will fulfill it not we will fulfill it. It still seems that there is something that I must do on my own. Perhaps this is only as a first phase, and working with others will come after that. But it seems that I must break beyond the barriers of Self to find my rightful place in the world. What does it take to do that? Right now, I have very strong boundaries. What does it take to soften these and/or to break through them? How can my consciousness be so flexible and my concept of self so rigid? Hmm ... the self is the seat of the consciousness - or is it the other way around? What comes first? The Self is not a body or a vessel; it is a being. Yet, what is consciousness? Is it not that which animates life? ... that which gives life to life? That is an interesting way of looking at things. My physical body is fairly stiff and rigid. My mind is quite stubborn in many respects. What does this tell me about other aspects of myself? Clearly these are reflections that mirror spiritual conditions as well. What do I need to work on? On the physical front, we have weight and flexibility. The first can be addressed via diet and exercise, the second via exercise and stretching ... perhaps yoga. On the mental front, this is a little more difficult. I believe in believing things firmly as long as we believe them and changing our beliefs rapidly should more empowering beliefs come our way. The power of beliefs is judged solely by utility. Besides, I'm not so convinced that I am not open-minded. After all, I've accepted this expression into my life with open arms. That was not necessarily a sane thing to do. Though it is something that I am proud to have done. It took courage to give spirit voice in this manner. It took more courage to start to believe what came forth enough to act on the information. But, overall, it has proved itself to be trustworthy. Spirit has shown time and time again that I can count on her to come through. That doesn't mean that everything that is expressed is 100 percent correct. It seems that my ego still gets in the way and clouds the expression with its desires at times. Though, of late, this seems to happen less and less.

25 September 2003 Good news. The publishers site was only down for a day. The new bookstore is up and running and does seem to be a substantial improvement. In addition, Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2 made it to the published list today. That makes it five officially. Quotes, the sixth, should follow within a week or so. Then, The Search for Center should be ready a month or so after that. Finally, 2003 Musings - Vol II should come in a week or so before Christmas to wrap up things for the year. That makes eight published books in one year. That achieves the objective that I set when I first found out I could even do this just over six months ago. It is still difficult to believe that I had no clue that I could publish books at a price that I could afford such a short time ago and here I stand (or sit in my case) with 5 books published and 3 45

more in the publishers hands. Effectively, it is a done deal. I don't anticipate any problems with the final few books that would preclude their publication this year. Yet, there is nothing miraculous about it. I just decided to do it, and then committed the necessary resources to make it happen. Actually, there was a touch of the miraculous. There was a matter of a ten year old claim for $1161 that came out of the blue just in time to fund the publishing of three books. Had this not occurred, the publishing would have been delayed and I would have had to stretch a bit more financially. But, there is a sense that once I was committed, I was not going to allow anything to deter me from reaching my objective. Can I do this in other areas of my life? Can I set goals and objectives and use these to focus my energy and activities on those things necessary to achieve the goals? Would I know what goals to set? Clearly, there is great benefit that comes from focused effort. We are able to create far more than we have ever dreamed possible. But, do we need goals to provide this focus for us? Hmm ... what do I want? This is not a question that I am used to asking. My focus has been on who am I? Both questions are equally valid. Ignoring one to focus on the other can only work for so long. So, we'll ask again, what do I want? Satisfying and rich relationships. Hmm ... it is interesting that this would be the thing that would come up first. This is the thing that I am missing most in my life. Now, the question is given that this is what I want ... what am I willing to do to make it so? Relationships must be developed and nurtured. This takes time, effort, and attention. What am I willing to give to manifest such relationships? One thing that is necessary is to shift from a self focus to an other focus or at least to a we focus. What is life without friends? It can be quite lonely. There is some comfort in having spirit by one's side, but that is not the same as having a physical companion with whom to share aspects of life. There is so little that I know about others that it is frightening at times. Wayne's World is a very strange place. To date, it is a very empty place. It is full of ideas ... some quite grandiose regarding what can be. But, attempts to lure others into this world have been for naught as far as I can tell. Perhaps that is because such is not meant to be. My world is just that, my world. The most I can do is share where this world intersects with your world. Hmm ... lure seems to connote a negative intent. That is the farthest thing from my mind. My hope is that exposure to my world would be a liberating experience. I know it has been such for me. I would guess that others would find it so as well. These words are my way of documenting my reality. My hope is that in expressing in this manner I provide a service, a great service to those who find this expression. As a wayshower, I demonstrate what spirit expressing in flesh is capable of. But, know that what I can do, you can do also. You are spirit incarnate, here and now. You have always been such and will always be such, despite how much of this you have forgotten. You cannot escape what you are. And, what you are is spirit expressing in flesh, pure and simple. The challenge is to live our lives as if we truly know this. That means ensuring our beliefs are consistent with this. This in turn will ensure that our actions are consistent with this as well. It is important to find that part of us that knows. It is there within each of us ... waiting to be found. However, we must look ... we must seek, if we are to find it. It amazes me that this expression can continue to come forth as it does musing after musing ... and even line after line and paragraph after paragraph within each musing. Yet, come forth it does in full glory ... consciousness operating at its finest. Or, at least the finest that it can operate through me. It would be nice to have some reference points - some others in my life that I could use as sounding boards and as comparison points to see how consciousness expresses through them ... whether this be similar or different than through me. That's what friends are for! Hmm ... indeed it seems that such is the case. But, I'm 45 already and have not experienced having such people in my life. Interactions at work don't really count. They are somewhat constrained by the office environment. Though, there is nothing that limits such interactions to business.

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26 September 2003 Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Book number seven, The Search for Center was waiting for me to proof when I got home yesterday. The cover looks great ... perhaps the best one yet. There are some formatting corrections that need to be made, but nothing major. And, since I did a thorough proof before submittal, I'm not going to do that again. I should be able to get the correction sheet and approval form to the publisher on Sunday. And then there was one. Wow! It is hard to believe. It is really happening. I did what it took to make it so ... but the universe cooperated and responded as well. Now that the books are published, we move on to the next phase. How do we get them into the hands of those who are meant to be served by them? Yes, served by them. Books serve us. They entertain us and they educate us. How do I find the audience that is right for these works? To some degree, they will find me naturally ... one way or another. If this expression is meant to touch their path it will. Nothing on earth can stop it. However, it seems that there are things that I might do to make this easier. My publisher is not a well known one, though their name, Infinity Publishing , is quite appropriate for the Beyond Imagination books. You can find Beyond Imagination by searching for it or for Wayne Hartman. But, how would one know to do that? It seems that it is important to start doing something to let people know who I am and what Beyond Imagination is. I'm not aware of any standard mechanisms for doing this. At present ... I'm not offering any particular services, other than the wealth of material at the Beyond Imagination site and in the Beyond Imagination books. Yes, I am looking to establish cooperative interdependent relationships to help build the foundations for a new world. I know this is not something that I can do alone. Yet, I don't think I'm looking for 100's or 1000's to do this. It seems a few dozen may be sufficient in terms of whom I am meant to deal with directly. My sense is that we will know one another when we find one another, and that the nature of our relationship will evolve naturally if we allow it to. Somehow, I need to do some advertising to get the word out. The word being that the Beyond Imagination site exists and that many Beyond Imagination books are published and available. Those who cannot afford the books can still benefit from the material at the site. However, we ask that everyone abide by the directive to never take more than you give. That means finding a way to be of service to others to compensate them at an equal or greater value to the service you receive from the Beyond Imagination material. You will know when the account is balanced. Spiritual economy is very simple. Credit is given when we give, debit when we take. The goal is to go out with a high credit balance. To do this, we need to live good lives, lives of service to ourselves, our families, our society, and our world. That doesn't mean that we can't have fun. That doesn't mean that we can't be selfish in some of the things that we do. We just need to consider the overall picture of how our energy and actions impact our world. Are we a source or a sink of energy? If we are a sink, we are taking more than we are giving and we need to find a way to adjust our behavior. We do this by adjusting our beliefs and our actions. Happiness, why is it so elusive? I have so many positive things going in my life ... this expression, the Beyond Imagination books, my job, my family, my house and the things in my life. So, why am I not happy? The bottom line is that all of this is not enough. I know that there is more that I could be doing. I know that some of the limits in my present life are bonds and chains that I have accepted but that I no longer desire to accept. It's not that bad. It's not that I'm sad or depressed. It's just that I'm not happy and manic about life. Interesting. Perhaps part of it is biochemical. Perhaps the very drugs that I am taking to keep me from getting to manic states also keep me from getting to happy states. If memory serves me, I was quite happy when I was flying high on the wings of consciousness. It didn't seem to matter what else was going on in my life. Also, I enjoyed golfing a lot for several years until the side effects of the drugs impacted the fine motor coordination so that I could strike the ball consistently anymore. However, the game is not the same when you can't count on performing effectively. 47

How do we announce to the world that Beyond Imagination exists? What subset of the world would even be interested? One possibility of to do things that result in people becoming aware that I exist. Beyond Imagination is a natural extension of me. It is the expression that has come forth through me for the past decade. So, it is time for the hermit to be introduced to the world. That means speaking somehow. I can't see how to do this via writing alone no matter how much I might prefer that. It is time to take the act live as they say. It will be interesting to see what opportunities present themselves now that I have started thinking in this manner. It generally doesn't take long for things to start manifesting in my life. Do I have something to offer? Is my realtime presence something that will ultimately prove to be of value? Surely, it must be of value to some. I have no illusions that this might be many. Then again, it seems that Beyond Imagination is ultimately to impact many before its work is done. However, most will not be aware of the impact that Beyond Imagination is having since it is working behind the scenes building the very foundations and fabric out of which the new age society will be built. It is not so important who gets credit for the changes to the social fabric that are to come. It is enough that the changes come and that they are instituted and reach as many people as possible. The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. She deserves the lion's share of the credit. Though, we must do our part. Spirit cannot express physically except through us. We have to do the work. We have to manifest the ideas in the world and then take the action to make them more than ideas, to make them a living reality in our world. If things are to change, it is up to us to change them. We are responsible for creating the world of our dreams ... but we need to beware of creating the world of our nightmares. Reality creation can be a two-edged sword if we are not careful in how we engage in it. That is why it is very important for our motives to be pure. That is why I still struggle with imposing my will on situations. If I impose my will, I am responsible for the outcome. However, if I allow spirit to move me ... it seems that I am relieved of the responsibility. Spirit herself has taken it on. Though, I still accept full responsibility for what I do and in some cases what I could have done but didn't do. Life is too short to waste. We need to make empowering choices. We need to make choices that lead to our happiness. The pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right according to our founding fathers in the Declaration of Independence. How do we succeed in this pursuit? Yes, that is the question of the day. It seems that we have many pursuing happiness in a variety of ways but it also seems that few are really finding it. Then again, how would I know? How many people have I encountered?

27 September 2003 Another day. Another blank screen to fill. That is OK. That is what blank screens are for after all. They provide opportunities to express that which has never been expressed before. At least that is the way I look at things. This expression ever expresses anew. It comes from a fount of which I know not. All that I know is that I have found a way to tap this thing that I call source within. I would like to think that the tapping came from extensive effort in digging the well. But, it may have been more fortuitous than this. It seems that my soul put me in the right place at the right time to make this connection. Part of that place included a belief structure and frame of mind that would be accepting of this manifestation of source. At times, I had to question my very sanity. How could I believe as I do? Yet, I am confronted by the evergrowing record of this expression. Even after over 10 years, it is still very much a mystery. That is OK. One could do far worse than to have the mysterious as a regular part of ones life. It definitely keeps life interesting. Then again, what is interesting for me could be boring for another. We each have our roles to play. It is for us to find what these are and then to play them to the best of our abilities. Hmm ... it seems that this includes the "evil" roles as well as the good ones. Are they not playing their parts as well? That is an interesting way of looking at things. Were Hitler and Stalin necessary evils? Were they needed to teach the world particular lessons? And, if so, did we learn those lessons? In general, when it 48

comes to these matters the collective consciousness seems to be pretty dense. It is as if we are trying to move a mountain. And indeed, that is exactly what we are doing. But as the Bible says, if we believe sufficiently and command the mountain to move then it will move. The question is where do we want it to move to? How do we know what direction or what place is better? We can use utility ... move it and see if things are better. But it seems that it would be more efficient if we knew a better end state from the beginning and focused on moving to that. This is where our dreamers come in. There are people who know what directions spirit has planned for us. It helps if we stay in sync with these. It is not mandatory, but it definitely makes the way easier. What would I do next? Five simple words of 16 letters. How we answer this question ultimately defines our destiny. We do things in the moment. That is the only point in which we have any power. The future is dependent on what we do now. And, we can only impact the future or the past by our actions in the present. I ask myself this question often. Sometimes I am surprised by the answers but usually not. Clearly, you are reading this because I am still moved to express in this manner. That continues to be a daily activity. There is a strong sense that there is more that I can do, but I am at loss as to what and how. I don't put myself in situations where I meet many people. And, of these, I have no idea as to how many might have metaphysical inclinations. Yet, it seems that somehow it is up to me to get the word of Beyond Imagination out to the world. How I do this is up to me. Though, as always, I trust that spirit will move me to act appropriately to get this done elegantly. That is how she operates in my life. I have no reason to think that this will change anytime soon. You could say that I am lucky to have such a relationship with spirit. But, it is not luck. We can all have such relationships. It takes work, but the key is to invite spirit to play an active role in our life. We have to be willing to listen to her and then take action on what she reveals to us. At times, that can be difficult. But, there is nothing that says everything in life must be easy. In fact, it seems that it is the difficult time, the challenges, that bring out the best in us. Not surprising, it seems this is how spirit tempers us ... just as steel is tempered. We are being prepared for some grand roles in the coming times. Spirit will be able to express in ways that go beyond anything that we have seen manifest before. This is new territory that we are venturing into. This is the grand adventure of consciousness. Oh, it always has been. It is just more so now because of the nature of the manifestation and the rapidity and scope of the changes. We are entering into some exciting times. Times that will knock our socks off spiritually. I, for one, anxiously await what lies ahead and what part I can play in its manifestation. Our spiritual roles are why we are here. More and more, more of us will realize this ... until the world becomes the conscious expression of spirit in flesh. On with it. I would do what it is that I am destined to do. In a way this is my choice ... but it is a choice now to abide by a greater choice that I made at other than conscious levels before incarnating this time around. How can I be certain of this? I don't know, I just am. Some things we just know. They are not necessarily things that we have been taught, at least not in this existence. Though, with all that I have read in this incarnation it is difficult to say what I have been taught and what I have not been taught. I would guess that over 20 million words have passed through these eyes into this mind by now. And that is just the metaphysics related part. That doesn't count my formal education. Then again, my informal education I value the most, though it granted me no degrees. It is the education that has been most relevant to living my life. Then again, many people might not call what I do living. I sleep, I work, I eat, I commute, I write, I read, I play with my dogs. Note that there is very little interaction with others in these activities. Yes, I realize that there is something wrong with that and it is time to take action to remedy it. From my aura, communication is very important to me. However, communication is not a one way process. It is a give and a take of energy, of meaning. Thus far, the Beyond Imagination expression has been primarily a one-way activity. I express, or spirit expresses through me, and I don't even know who the expression reaches. That is OK. Or, it has been to date. But, I desire for it to transform into something more. With an exchange of information, feedback can occur to help focus and guide what is expressed so that the message is conveyed more clearly. So yes, there is a good reason for engaging others in this expression. But, that is a choice that I cannot make alone. I can invite the feedback, and I 49

do wholeheartedly. I seek to establish friendships and cooperative interdependent relationships that permit us to create some grand things. Yet, how do I, the ultimate introvert, do the things necessary to publicize this endeavor? Yes, I believe in it, with all of my heart and soul. But, that is not enough to go out and proselytize, at least not for me. Yes, I desire for the word to get out so that the expression that is captured at the site can be unleashed to do good works in the lives of people. But, that desire is not strong enough to get me out of my shell and cause my basic behavior to change. Perhaps it should be. I simply observe what has occurred over the past few months since I got the promotional material for Best Passages of 2002 Musings. Most of it is still sitting in my office at work or on my desk at home. I have no clue as to whom or where to send it to. I have two books on self-publishing and promoting books, but I've only made it part way through these. Maybe that is the place to start. It just takes a few good ideas to get things rolling. Perhaps there is something that even an introvert would be comfortable with. Is this a limitation that I'm imposing on myself? Or is introversion truly an innate part of my character? And, if so, is there a way to use that to advantage? There is a reason I am wired in the manner that I am. One reason might be the challenge to overcome a natural limitation. However, introversion is only a limitation if you are trying to engage in extroverted behavior. The trick is to couch the problem in terms that the natural traits of introversion can address. We are free to reframe problems in any way that we desire. We don't have to adapt us to the problem at hand. We can adapt the problem at hand to suit us. Though we still need to do what we can to stretch and develop our capabilities to the utmost. There is a sense that there is something that I could be doing that I am not yet doing. Further, it is something that is congruent with whom that I know that I am. It does not require tapping skills or abilities that I do not possess or in which I am weak. It is right there in front of me, waiting to be done if I would but see it. Hmm ... I wonder what it could be? I just got a sense that it may involve others. That was followed by a shiver from my right side of my head through my right side of my neck. Who in my circle of acquaintances might be able to help? I'm not used to thinking in these terms, but it would definitely be a solution. At this point, not even my family knows what Beyond Imagination books have been published. This has truly be a lone enterprise. How do I change that? Who do I know that would read the books and then be willing to help market them? Is that asking too much of someone else? If it is meant to be, it will be. Otherwise, I will continue to fill whatever roles are necessary as well as I can. This has been enough in the past. It will just have to continue to be enough. I can only give of what I am ... and that is still limited while in this existence. Though, it is far less limited now than it was prior to March of 1993 when this expression began. What is it that I can do? Who is it that I can enlist to help me in this endeavor? Is this someone that I already know, or someone I have yet to meet? There is a strong sense that there would be great benefit in working with others on various endeavors. One area would be promoting. However, another area would be the creation of joint expressions that are a marriage of what both of us have to offer. I'm definitely open to this. I expect to have a dozen works published by the end of 2004. That is enough to establish me as a metaphysical author. I could easily work on several joint projects during the year as well. If you are interested and have ideas in this area, by all means contact me and let's see if we can work something out. Similarly, if you've enjoyed the Beyond Imagination material and think you might be able to help promote the Beyond Imagination web site and Beyond Imagination books, please contact me as well. At this point in time, I like focusing on what I do best. Right now, that is bringing forth this material. Though I am open to public appearances, talks, Q&A sessions, workshops, etc ... if these would help to get the word out.

29 September 2003

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I was bad again -- missed another day of musing. I had an opportunity to muse in the late afternoon and another in the evening after the commute to LA but I was too tired to do it. I actually made a couple of attempts, but did not even get as far as turning the computer on. Oh well. On to a new day and what consciousness would express next. I did get the corrections sheet and approval form for The Search for Center faxed to the publisher. That brings us to seven. We'll be there officially within about 3 weeks. Today started off well. I sold my first copy of The Early Works. That makes three books sold of which I am aware. It's not much, but it's a start. It is interesting seeing all seven books displayed on the credenza in my office, especially knowing that all of these came out this year. Yes, 2003 has been a very productive year for Beyond Imagination. It will be interesting to see what 2004 brings. In the government, we start fiscal year 2004 on Wednesday, October 1. However, in my case, it seem that the calendar year is more important. We planted well this year ... and the harvest has been bountiful. Now, it seems it is time to bring the harvest to market and see what it will yield. That is an interesting way of looking at things ... but it seems an accurate one. Is that what I am doing with the Beyond Imagination books? And, how do I bring them to market? Just looked over at the books again ... it is curious that they were published in a somewhat random order, but when laid out in a time sequence, the cover colors line up in the order of the spectrum. The earliest book has dark blues and purple; the next two, lighter blues; the fourth, greens; the fifth, yellow; and the sixth and seventh reds and light browns. There is a sense that this is not by accident. Also, my service provider is Redshift. It is curious that the covers for the books with the newest material would be shades of red. The order of publication was 5 - 1 - 6 - 2 - 3 - 7 - 4. I'm sure there is something significant in that as well. 5: 16: 23: 74:

The Hierophant The Tower King of Wands = wayne Six of Pents = The Benefactor = wayne ellis hartman

That is a pretty powerful sequence for me, especially given that 16:The Tower is my most important Tarot card. The ordering was a simple chronological ordering of the material in each book, with 1 for the earliest work and 7 for the most recent. It is amazing how these kinds of things reveal meaning. There were different cover designers for many of the books. Further, the cover designers did not know what other books had been published or where they fit chronologically. Yet, the overall result is not random. It reveals that there is a guiding hand in all of this somehow. I had little to say in the cover design, with the exception of the second book published (1), in which they used a Beyond Imagination graphic that I had provided from the site. It is appropriate that this particular book would have this cover. It is the primer that sets the stage for the Beyond Imagination expression. At 288 pages, it is also the smallest of the published works. It is split into three sections: the Beyond Imagination book, Reality Creation 1010, and Best Quotes. Even after 10 years, it is still new to me, so I would hope that others would find it new and original as well. It does make me wonder how I could so suddenly start to think and express like that. Though, there was a lot of preparation in terms of self-education in metaphysics. Worked up a spreadsheet on expenses / sales for Beyond Imagination this year. Obviously we are severely in the red thus far. We've invested over $3800 with a return of $68. That is to be expected. Most of the books have not been available long enough for any credited sales to be made from the publishers site. Their royalty payments lag sales by about two months. Next month will be the first opportunity to see if we are reaching people strongly enough for them to commit to buying our books. We would hope that this is the case, but only time will tell. Actually, considering that we will have published eight books for that amount, I feel good about the decision to do this. We must not forget that the monetary investment is peanuts compared to the time invested in expressing the material and then packaging it as books. The books are literally the result of thousands of hours invested in doing the work 51

of Beyond Imagination. In 2003 alone, I expect to have put in over 1000 hours by years end. Last year, 2002, was a 1000+ hour year as well. I have to believe that what I am doing has value ... that what I am doing is worth the effort and resources that I put into it. How do I know whether this is really true or not? First, I get great value because the expression literally changes me. Seeing what is able to be expressed through me has been a great awakener. I don't know where else I could have gone to get such experiences. I believe the material could do similar things for others, providing them an example of what can come forth if we allow it to. What I do, you can do also. Perhaps not in exactly the same way. And, even if you are good with words, your words will be yours and will be expressed in a style that is unique to you. That is OK. There is a reason that we are all unique individuals. There is something that is to be expressed in all of this. Be whom that thou are. Such is the directive of spirit. It is not for us to be as others are but to be as we alone can be. That doesn't mean that we cannot learn from what others have done and where others have been. We just need to make sure that the lessons that we learn are indeed ours to learn and empower us. There is a spiritual destiny that is unfolding. How are those of us who are introverts to play out our roles? It seems that it is up to us to seek inside to find what our roles are ... and then to fashion the reality necessary to act out these roles. We are reality creators after all. That is what reality creation is all about. As introverts, we can choose to do our work behind the scenes. We don't have to enter the limelight if we don't choose to. There are plenty of others who not only can do that, but who enjoy doing that. There is no reason that we have to adopt roles that are inconsistent with our basic character ... unless we choose to do so in an attempt to grow in a particular area. The bottom line is to pay attention to the inner forces that move us. These may also be reflected in the outer circumstances that we face, but it is best if they are resolved on inner lives first. Then again, this advice may be specific to introverts. I have no firsthand knowledge of how extroverts view the world and are moved by it ... at least not in this existence. We speak with a voice of authority ... yet, where does the authority with which we speak originate? I've been doing this for over a decade now. I don't really ask that question much anymore. I have accepted that there is a source that is able to communicate to me and through me. It is a source that is located somewhere within. It is a source that I would trust with my life. Yes, that is how much I value the information that comes forth. No, I don't necessarily believe and act upon every word. I trust that I will know what to believe, when to act, and what action(s) to take. The process is not a reasoned one, however, it is an intuitive one for me. I just know. It is not something that I have to figure out. Some might consider me fortunate to have such a relationship to spirit. Indeed, I consider myself quite fortunate. At the same time, it took a lot of self work to get where I am at. Looking back, it was definitely worth it. Though, I would hope that the years to come will be more filled with happiness than the years that have passed. In any event, I am truly looking forward to what is to come ... even though I do not yet know specifically what that is to be. At this point, the generalities are good enough. And, from what I can see, things look very promising. The sense is that the past ten years are nothing compared to what can be. They are but a hint of what can be done when we make the choice to consciously express spirit in flesh. What would I do next? I ask that question nearly every day. Though, I don't really ask with the expectation that I need to come up with an answer. The bottom line is that I do what I am moved to do. I allow that to be revealed moment by moment. There is something to be said for living life in the present. For me anyway, it seems to be the way that I have to live. I've never been much of a planner. Though, if we are going to build the foundations for a new world, someone will have to do some planning of some type. At this point in time, I don't know whether that someone will be or include me. Spirit will ensure that I am placed where I can be of most service in support of the overall plan for the greater expression of consciousness in flesh. I trust that I have a particular role to play and that I will be moved to play it. More and more, life is becoming the adventure in consciousness that it is meant to be. Though, it should 52

be an adventure in flesh and blood as well. We are physical beings after all. Part of our task is to be physical. We just need to find ways to be spiritual even as we are physical. That is not so hard to do. We cannot escape being spiritual ... ever! Further, while we are incarnate we cannot escape being physical try though we might. This is not a resignation. Rather, it is a celebration of our nature as spirit in flesh. Life itself should be a celebration. It is a tremendous gift that we have been given. It is up to us to make the most of it and find ways to give back something of what we have been given. We do this by doing something that makes a difference ... preferably a large positive difference to others, or to the world. We need to make masterpieces of our lives ... living masterpieces. Given that we are all masters at the art of reality creation, this should be something that is natural for us. Masters create masterpieces. That is simply what they do. However, few of us are conscious masters at much of anything. We have to do some soul searching to find out what we are best at and then find ways to express that creatively in service. $1 per word. That is the suggested going rate for this expression. If even 300 people buy each book generated from this expression, that would cut the cost to 1 cent per word. However, there are over 150,000 words in several of the books. That would be $1500 per book ... a bit out of most peoples range. To drop this to $10 per book, we need to spread the cost over 150 people. That would mean we need 300 x 150 or about 50,000 sales per book to achieve the $1 per word figure. That seems like a lot of sales, but is it? How would I know? Actually, there was no stipulation as to when the sales would happen. They could be spread out over the remainder of my life. That could mean spreading the sales over as many as 25 years. Worst case, that would be 2,000 sales per book per year. Even that is a lot, especially given how few people I know. But, this country is a big place. It is a matter of finding those people who are meant to experience this expression. If it is meant to be it will be. I have taken the first step and got the books published. Clearly, I will need some help from the universe if they are to be a success. But first steps first. We will have to see what happens from here.

30 September 2003 Can we really be to the end of another month already. They just seem to fly by ... one after another. No rest for the weary as they say. There is much to do and much to express before we are finished with this year. That's OK. We still have one quarter of the year to go. That is a lot of time ... especially if we apply ourselves and use it effectively. Who knows what can be accomplished with spirit by our side. The possibilities are bright. The sense is that we will start to see this expression transform into whatever it is to be next. I don't foresee more of the same for 2004. We have been going at full speed with near daily musings for 21 months already. That is a lot of time for such intense and focused activity. Then again, it is not clear that "focused" really applies to these stream of consciousness musings. It is not that I don't want to put in the time anymore. I'm comfortable with that and am sure that I could continue at a roughly half time level indefinitely. However, I would like to see the expression have more impact. To do that, it has to reach people and move people. I believe that if we can get it to reach people, the expression will indeed move them. Yes, I consider the expression that good. But, it is not clear that the one through whom the expression comes is the best judge is its utility to others. There, it seems that people must pass their own judgment. That is OK. I don't consider judgments about the nature and quality of the material to be judgments about the originator. Here, it seems that my role is as a scribe and messenger. If you don't like what is expressed, go elsewhere or provide constructive feedback. I won't guarantee that I will follow it ... but I will at least be receptive to it. Listening is an art that seems to be lost on many people. Personally, I need to apply some of the listening skills that I've developed in connecting to the source within to external sources in my world. It is not yet clear what external sources these will be. But, that seems to be the next step for me, translating some of what I have learned in the inner into outer expression. You might call these musings and the Beyond Imagination works outer expression. They are 53

physical. They are available openly to be accessed by all who can find them. But, somehow this is not enough. It is as if this is really between inner and outer expression. It is not until the message is delivered to its intended audience that the work becomes outer expression. I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can with what I know. It seems that it would help to find or create a mutual support group of some kind so that we could encourage one another and provide the stimulus needed for us to achieve truly great things. I still believe that this will require cooperation. It takes people working together to express synergistic behavior. There is only so much that we can do in isolation from one another. But, how do I find those with whom I am meant to work? Perhaps they are asking this very same question. To some extent, I believe this is destined. The people that we are meant to work with will gravitate to our sphere of influence somehow. It helps if we do things to extend this sphere to make it easy for people to find. I would hope that the Beyond Imagination web site and books go a long way toward doing that. But, are there other things that I could be doing? How much can be expected from one person? Clearly, I demand a lot from myself. I don't place the same demands on others however. I know what I am capable of ... or at least what I believe that I am capable of. My sense is that the reality is that I am far more capable than even I know. This is not true only of me, it is true of all of us. When we start believing in ourselves, we can do wonders beyond imagination. It all starts with what we believe. What we believe will be what we experience. Effectively, beliefs are like self-fulfilling prophecies. We end up drawing into our reality those things that conform to our beliefs. That is simply how it works. We create our own reality. We always have. We always will. If we don't like what we experience, the only place to blame is ourselves. We are creating it all, no fine print, no exceptions. That is a tough one to swallow for many. It is far more desirable to be able to blame something or someone else for our troubles. As a loner most of my life, this has never really been an option for me. I accepted the ideas from the Seth books hook, line, and sinker. This was a double-edged sword however. It offered the ultimate freedom but required the ultimate responsibility. That is OK. It was well worth it. However, of what practical use is this now? Can I envision working with others on collaborative efforts? Can I see it, really see it? Can I feel it and taste it? Can I really imagine it happening, and not just in some distant future, but sometime soon? Actually, the answer to most of these questions is yes. This is indeed something that I see happening in the immediate future ... perhaps not this year, but definitely in 2004. Is that because I want it to happen? Is this another one of those time predictions in which I have too much of a desire to make so to be objective about it. Perhaps, perhaps not. It seems that we shall see soon enough. 2004 is just three months away, that's only one season. That brings us to the Winter months. It will be interesting to see what manifests not only in my life but in the world at large. There are many changes that need to occur on a grand scale. But, the sense is that these will start small and grow into exactly what they need to be. My destiny seems intricately tied to the destiny of the world somehow. I've said before that my life is to have world import. I am here to make a difference on a grand scale. Yes, the grandiose thinking is peeking through again. But, what am I to think given whom that I AM and observing what has come forth through me over the past decade? This is not your ordinary expression ... either in quantity or content. Clearly I am blessed to be able to serve consciousness in this manner. Though, there are some of you that might have used the term cursed rather than blessed. That is OK. You have the right to judge what is expressed as you will. And besides, your opinion has no impact on my reality. If I feel blessed, then indeed I am blessed.

1 October 2003 HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY! I doubt that anyone but me will remember it, but today is the tenth anniversary of my first vacation to the mental hospital and my subsequent diagnosis as bipolar. My we 54

have come a long way since then. That first vacation was to last 10 days but was to be repeated again approximately 4.5 years later. I guess the good news is that there was not another repeat at the nine year point. However, this time I wasn't moved to stop taking my medications ... which seemed to be the major trigger for the second episode. The medications seem to keep the condition in check somehow. They keep my brain functioning in an "acceptable" range. Though I can't help but wonder what I could do if I were in full possession of my faculties. I see what is able to be expressed through me and am awestruck. Yet, I can imagine doing more, much more. Can it really have been 10 years already? How is that possible? Yet, the dates don't lie. 1 October 1993 to 1 October 2003 is indeed a decade. I find it somewhat sad that there would be no one in my life who would be aware of such a significant day for me. In many respects, this is more important than my birthday. It did indeed correspond to a spiritual birth, a major spiritual awakening. Even after 10 years, the doctors don't accept that such a spiritual transition occurred. But, what do they know? They weren't experiencing what I was experiencing and my attempts to explain it were futile. I don't know if we are any better off today or not. I don't know if there are places people can go to ease the spiritual rebirth process. I would hope that there are, but I have no experience to know one way or the other. Actually, this is par for the course. As a hermit, my interactions with people are limited. Why would I expect anyone to be aware of anything about my life? Yes, I have shared much here. But, there are literally millions of words shared on these pages. What do I expect people to remember from any of this ... assuming that they find their way here at all? Hmm ... perhaps it is time for an Introduction to Beyond Imagination that provides an Executive Summary of the information contained at the site, pulling in appropriate excerpts as needed to illustrate what these works contain. That sounds like a good project for 2004. It will require the generation of significant new material to serve as a package for the selected excerpts. We might also do a Best of the Best work that literally sifts through everything that has been expressed to date and pulls out the most precious gems. It seems like the energy is right for doing such planning now. It is the beginning of a new fiscal year after all. There is a reason that such years have such boundaries. I don't know exactly what that is. However, I sense a freshness, a new energy that is available to tap now. It is as if 2004 has indeed started in some ways. And this is only the beginning. It will be interesting to see where the energy takes us as the year progresses. The sense is that grand things are in store. We have to either choose to be part of them or get out of the way. I have clearly made my choice. I would not change it. I have a major role to play in the destiny that is to unfold. I know that. It is a matter of allowing myself to do what I came to do. It seems that this requires going outside of what I have established as my comfort zones. But, it is important to do it anyway. There is no room for fear here. We must have the courage to be whom that we are, and to express that as fully as we can. To do less is to waste portions of our life ... and potentially to harm others. We may think that we are protecting them by holding back, but the truth is that they are aware anyway. What we think and feel is picked up and sensed by others around us; perhaps not consciously, but on some level. Our souls are not fooled by appearances ... they know the truth! How do I harness this energy that I feel surging around me? There is a sense that it is here to be used somehow. Further, there is a sense that it can be used to shape reality into what we would have it be. This is different than just expressing what would come forth. Here we are talking about doing things and creating things with the energy. That is more than creating more words. This is how the foundations for a new world will be built. The foundations will be physical foundations, not just ideas and thoughts. Yet, even physical foundation are thoughts manifested into form. Ultimately, the world and everything that's in it arises from thought. How can I know such things? Clearly, they did not come from my formal education ... all 17 years of it. Part of it came from my informal education in metaphysics ... all 30 years of it. But, much of it came from tapping and expressing the source within. It just knows. The question is do I also have to know for it to be able to express its truths through me. It seems that yes, I do have to know. Though, clearly I do not consciously know all that is expressed through me. That is OK. There are many things that we are able to do without really knowing how. It is fine for these to remain 55

mysteries, at least for the time being. Mysteries stir our souls. They bring a touch of the miraculous into our lives. There was a book by the title In Search of the Miraculous by Ouspensky that I read many years ago. The bottom line is that we don't have to search very far to find the miraculous at work in our lives. Take something as simple as speaking. When we begin a sentence we don't know how we will end it. Yet, most people are able to speak perfectly fine anyway by trusting the process. I suspect most people don't even think twice about it. But, how many things do you do automatically ... that you have no conscious control over. The human body and brain are miraculous vehicles for the expression of spirit in flesh. But, much of what they can do lies in potential only, awaiting us to take the steps required to actualize it. We are literally on the threshold of a dream. It is a collective dream that has been build from the best ideas that have been expressed over the millennia. It is time for this dream to manifest. That is much of what the new age, the Aquarian Age is all about. Aquarius is an air sign. It deals primarily in the realm of ideas. Pisces, the ruler of the prior age, was a water sign. This deals with feelings and emotions. The sense is that the Aquarian Era will provide fertile ground for the planting of new ideas ... and out of such ideas the new world will be formed. I believe that we will start to see this happen in my lifetime. And, I only expect to live another 25 years. So, we are not talking centuries here ... we are talking of massive change within decades. The counter at the Beyond Imagination Main Page is at 1648 = The Lightning Struck Tower: The Man in Search of More. That is appropriate for my present state. 16 is the number that signifies awakening to me. 4/8 is my birthday. 48 is me. I am the Man in Search of More. I have eight full cups, five of mind and three of consciousness ... but I know there is more. And it is to the unknown realms of spirit that I am attracted as a moth to a flame. I am not satisfied with what I have done to date. I know that there is far more that I could do if I applied myself appropriately. You might say that I set the bar extremely high. Perhaps too high. Though if we don't reach for the stars from time to time, how do we know what we are capable of? It is amazing what happens when you do this. It is as if the very forces of the universe conspire to help you achieve what you set out to do. That is not surprising ... as it is spirit doing the work anyway. It is but for us to allow the process to work as it is meant to work. No, this does not mean sacrificing our life to anything. Though, it does require making a commitment, a commitment to ourselves to be the best that we can be. That is when the magic happens. When each of us does our part, whatever that might be ... everything proceeds according to the plan of consciousness for the greater expression of spirit in flesh. As I suggested earlier, it doesn't appear that anyone is going to remember how important this day is to me other than me. That is OK. Though, it seems that it is time to do things to ensure that such does not continue to be the case in the future. That means cultivating some friendships, and close friendships at that. I think that I am ready for this step. But friendship is a mutual relationship between people who are equals. Who do I regard as my equals? Clearly not everyone. But, my abilities don't make me any better than anyone else, at least not in any absolute sense. What these abilities do is allow me to do things in ways that are more effective than others are able to do them ... or in some cases are completely different than others can do things. Yes, that makes me special. But, we are all special in our own ways. It is for us to develop our natural talents and find ways to use these in service to others, society, and even the world. Dream big! That is what dreams are for. Push the envelope wherever you can. Don't be content with the status quo. Use your life to make a statement and make a difference. This can start small if it needs to. A small change now can yield a great difference in time. However, we must make it our responsibility to create the reality that we desire ... to seed the changes that we want to effect in the world. In taking this responsibility, we own what is rightfully ours and we make it within our power to be the change that we want to see in the world. Change is an internal process. We don't cause it to happen outside of us. We 56

become what we want to be. The choice to become is always made in the present. That is where our true power is. That is where our reality is created. So, ask yourself ... what difference would I make with my life? What legacy do I want to leave? What evidence will survive me as proof that I even lived? What will I do that will justify my having consumed a lifetimes worth of resources? These are tough questions. But, if we don't ask them and try to answer them during the course of our life, we truly will reach the end with nothing to show for ourselves. Not everyone is meant to change the world. However, you can have a positive impact in the lives of your family, friends, coworkers, and those whom your life touches. How far this impact stretches is up to you. If you are reading this, my sense is that you are sufficiently evolved and aware that you are meant to be a part of the larger spiritual drama that is unfolding. Exactly what your role is is something that you will have to discover yourself. There are people who offer services that can help. Most of these involve assisting you in knowing thyself. That is the first step. The more we know about ourselves, the more that we have to offer to the world. Given the significance of the day ... we are off to a good start for the month. There is indeed a new energy in the air. I think it is evidenced in the nature of what was expressed today. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds in the coming days and months. All that I can say is that I like what I am seeing. It feels right somehow. We seem to be at a turning point. I don't yet know what direction will be the end result ... but I am open to following whatever it is and plowing ahead to wherever it takes me. Life is meant to be an adventure ... and an exciting one at that. If such is not your experience, it is high time for a change so that it is. Much of this advice is directly applicable to me personally. But, it seems that it is also applicable to others since I am moved to share it in this manner.

2 October 2003 I'm not sure why, but there was an unexpected jump in page hits between yesterday and today. The Main Page counter went up by 44 in less than one day while the World and Beyond Imagination book counters went up by 12. This has not happened before as far as I know. The only change that I am aware of is that the Sedona Journal issue for October should have come out. Perhaps the ad is doing some good. This is over six times the previous average page hit rate per day. It will be interesting to see if this is an anomaly or a sustained level of activity. This is what I was hoping for. We need people to be exposed to Beyond Imagination if it is to affect the world in the ways that I believe it is meant to. One way or another, time will tell. I'm curious as to what I will be moved to do next. There is a sense that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing ... that I am creating exactly what I need to be creating. Yet, what does it take to be happy, truly happy? At the moment, that still eludes me. Though, I am learning and growing every day. Ultimately it is doing what I am able to do that should bring me the most happiness. I am coming close to being the best that I can be. Though, I like to set the bar higher than even I believe that I can achieve so that I can find out what I am truly capable of. When we challenge ourselves, it is amazing to see what we are able to deliver. My first stay in the mental hospital was for 10 days starting 10 years ago yesterday. I still recall that experience as if it were yesterday. Yes, I was functional and aware of what was going on. I was aware that my mind and consciousness were taking me on excursions that were outside of the conventions of the consensus reality. But, I was in the midst of a spiritual awakening. I wasn't seeing the world as the other bipolar patients were seeing it. I wasn't depressed. And, my manic states while they resulted in some "crazy" thinking were highly positive overall. I wasn't you're typical bipolar patient. I wasn't there to treat a disorder. In fact, I considered my condition a blessing, a feature of my brain that allowed me to think in the way that I did. I was having an intense spiritual experience. It didn't matter that the doctors had no clue as to what I was going through. Their focus was on containing the situation by getting the medication levels to the therapeutic range. They had no means to deal with differences in individual 57

experiences. Spiritual emergence was not in their vocabulary. Yet that is exactly what was happening to me. I was emerging from a chrysalis in a cocoon state. The mania allowed me to spread my spiritual wings and fly. Though, I knew that the situation was getting out of hand. All that I wanted to do is fly, spiritually. That is a very dangerous place to be. It makes living in the world nearly impossible. We need something that helps to keep us stable and grounded. I didn't really have this. The whole experience from July 1993 to October 1993 was interesting. You could definitely say that I was losing what I knew to be my mind. But in exchange, I was gaining an understanding of my Self as Spirit. The exchange was well worth it. Now, here we are ten years later. What has been the difference? Has the increased awareness made me more happy? Clearly not as evidenced by some of the recent musings. However, I have been quite productive in ways that I never was before. I have a body of works expressed in several million words captured at a web site and published in 5, soon to be 7, and eventually to be 8 books. That is as of the end of 2003. I'm generating close to a half million words per year right now. I have been for the past two years anyway. How much longer this will last, I do not know. But, I enjoy doing it and consider it worthwhile even if I don't see how it directly benefits anyone. That is one area that I have found surprising and somewhat disappointing. Given how many words I generate and how much I share, I expected that there would be more feedback. I invite it and respond to it promptly ... but I rarely get any. Perhaps I scare people away. Perhaps I come across as unapproachable somehow. But, this is definitely not the case. I may be stubborn and even pig-headed at times, but I do listen. What I have (bipolar) is not catchy ... though you could do far worse than to think like I do. This expression provides a means for you to follow my thoughts and states of mind for awhile. Hopefully that will allow you to experience states of consciousness that are new and different for you. This expression is meant to be mind expanding and consciousness expanding. That is one of the highest goals any expression can have ... to allow us to experience being more than we knew ourselves to be before. So, a decade has passed since this spiritual rebirth. What is in store for the decade to come? It seems for one thing we have more of the same. This communication is far from over. Spirit has much more to express before our work together is through. Hmm ... that is an interesting way of putting it. But, this is definitely our work together. Without spirit there would be nothing to come through as was true for the first 34 years of my life. Yet, without me, this particular expression would not exist. Would that be a loss? I have to say yes, a major loss. I consider this expression highly valuable. Though it is not clear that I can place a price on it. That is not quite true. I have been moved to set $1 per word as the fair market value for what comes forth. I have no clue who is going to pay that or how it is to be paid. But, one way or another it seems that it will indeed be paid. Given that I express and average of 8,000-10,000 words per week, that is asking for a lot. Or is it? Where else can you find material such as this? I have read extensively for 30 years and have yet to encounter anything like it. That is not to say it is good necessarily ... but, it is different. Here, we have a consciousness revealing its awareness of the reality it experiences in realtime on a regular basis for several hours per day. That makes for an impressive record ... a record that can be shared and used to move others ... a record that can enable others to experience a whole new way of seeing things. That is power, the power to make a difference, a real difference in people's lives. But it doesn't happen by just wishing for it to be so. In this case we have to allow consciousness to come forth, we have to capture what she says, and we have to share what we capture. All of this we can do. It is a matter of setting priorities. In my life, this expression is the #1 priority. Here is where I fulfill my spiritual destiny. Everything else falls lower down the list. That is why I don't like missing these musings. There is a sense of opportunity lost that can never be recovered. Each time I come here to express something magical happens. The words just flow forth one after another. They keep coming so long as I stay focused and allow them to. Oh, there are breaks and silent moments from time to time, but these are the exception rather than the rule. Even after over 10 years, I still don't know how all of this is possible. Clearly it is. It happens. I experience it. But it is still magical. 58

Consciousness' ways are mysterious. That is OK, that is what they are meant to be. We may never fathom her depths. However, we will learn enough about how she operates to be a good partner. We continue to express as consciousness would have us express. That is good enough. We trust that what she has to say needs to be said and will reach those who it is meant to reach somehow. We do what we can to assist in and facilitate this process. But ultimately it is spirit that decides what reached who, when. Our main role is to bring the expression forth. This we have become very good at. They say practice makes perfect and three hours per day is quite a bit of practice. Hmm ... but this seems to be more than practice. Most people do not share their practice sessions with others. Yet here, I am moved to post unfiltered everything that is expressed and to eventually publish much of it in books. Why am I so moved? I don't know, I just am. It has been that way since I first found out I could post things to the WWW in 1995, over eight years ago. I've been my own webmaster and had a Beyond Imagination site since then. There is a sense that at some point I am to team with others and create a mutual expression. When this will be is for consciousness to decide. This does not seem to be something I can force. Though, I can be open to it and even desirous of it happening. Sometimes that is enough. At other times we have to work to manifest what we want. It takes wisdom to know when to allow versus when to actively work on getting things to manifest. That is part of the art of living. What else would I do with my life? How can I make a greater difference in the lives of those whom my life touches? These are good questions to ask. It is in the asking of questions that we find the answers that we seek. We just won't know until we have the awareness and the courage to ask. Yes, it takes courage to ask questions. We have to be ready for answers that we may not like. That is OK ... it is almost always better to know than not to know. When we ask questions we need to do so with the expectation that the answers will come and then we need to be open to the answers to come into our life in a variety of ways. The universe has many means for answering us. Only one of these is a voice in our head that tells us the answer directly. Other ways can be far more subtle or even symbolic. As to my answers to the first question: I would be all that I can be and do all that I am moved to do. Further, I would allow spirit to express through me as she will for however long the expression is of service. It seems that this will be one channel of expression for the remainder of my life. Though, that does not mean it will consume all of my life. Right now, this is only a third time expression occupying 1000 of 3000 hours of my "working" life per year. If I could free myself to focus on Beyond Imagination endeavors, it is not clear that the expression time would change substantially. There are other things that need to be done that take time to do. Interacting with others is one of these things. Building the foundations for a new world is another. Most of the foundations involve social organization of some type. Dealing with people takes time. But, it seems to be an investment that I need to make if I am to engage in cooperative interdependent endeavors.

3 October 2003 Perhaps it is not a fluke. There were another 22 hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page overnight. That suggests that more people are accessing the site. I have no means of knowing whether they are finding value in the material. But, the very fact that the material is being accessed at this higher rate is very promising. I believe the expression is worthy of an audience. Perhaps this is spirits way of letting me know that the time is finally right. The material continues to flow forth. At this pace, we'll definitely have enough for the final volume in the 2003 Musings trilogy. That will make three sizeable books to capture one years worth of expression ... nearly 1800 pages in all. That is in addition to all the other book work. The annotations for Beyond Mind are going well also. I finished another month last night. That makes three months completed already. We only have June through September remaining, though some of these months were substantial. That is OK. I suspect it will be done by the end of the month at the 59

present pace, including a proofing. Yes, there I go setting the bar high again. But we've been doing great at meeting our goals in this area of late. It is no use resting on our laurels now. The sooner that we finish what's on our plate, the sooner that we'll be able to take on more. And, that is what life is about. Spent a couple hours generating a new work, The Spiritual Interpretations of Numbers. There are over 170 pages to it already and we are missing inputs from six months of the Best of Notes files. The work does a decent job of identifying many of the discoveries I have made regarding the spiritual meaning of numbers in my life. It is amazing how much can be accomplished in so short of a time when you have something to start from. I had no idea as to how much of a project this would be. Further, it wasn't even on the planning boards as a potential book for 2004. Now, it seems that it may end up being the first out of the gate. Interesting. That is one of the benefits of living life in the moment. You can do these kinds of things when spirit moves you. Now, I need to start saving enough to publish the books. This one and Beyond Mind should easily be finished before Thanksgiving. That's only eight weeks away. Saving $100 a week would cover it. 2003 Musings - Vol III should be ready to go to the publisher by the end of January. That would bring us to 11 books published by my birthday in April 2004. Earlier today, I got an idea for another book, On the Nature of Consciousness. This could pull material from everything to date that explains what consciousness is and how it expresses through us. This will take more work to generate ... but who cares? It takes what it takes. What is important is to express what needs to be expressed. This would bring us to four for 2004. There could be another one or two books depending on whether the musings continue or not and depending on what else I am moved to express. In any event, it seems that 2004 is to be a productive year as well. Though the first two of these books would actually be submitted to the publisher well before the end of 2003. Checked the Beyond Imagination Main Page counter again. It was up by another 10 hits. Though one of those was mine. Something has definitely triggered increased traffic. I would guess that it is my Sedona Journal ad: BEYOND IMAGINATION Creating the Foundations for a New World. Thousands of pages of metaphysical expression since 1993. Addresses reality creation, nature of consciousness, expressing spirit in flesh, awakening, awareness. [www.redshift.com/~beyond] I submitted the ad nearly two months ago under the Reality Creation banner. It takes awhile to get things done in the publishing world. Would this be enough for you to be moved to check it out see what Beyond Imagination has to offer? No, these are not necessarily topics that everyone is interested in. Though, the readers of the Sedona Journal are likely to have interests in these areas. However, I'm not sure how many people read the Classified Ads section of the magazine. All that we can do is see. My sense is that those who are meant to find Beyond Imagination will indeed find it. Though, there is also a sense that it is up to me to do what I can to facilitate this. Change is in the air again. A new season is upon us. It seems time to reap some of what we have sown. Though, we leave it in spirits hands as to how this will manifest. However, spirit will not do for us those things that we can perfectly well do for ourselves. We are able beings capable of doing great works. It is up to us to apply ourselves in such a manner as to manifest this. We will truly be amazed at what we are able to accomplish ... especially when we allow spirit to work through us. I was told that I could do anything I set my mind to when I was growing up. And, I believed it. Now, I would adjust that and say that I can do anything I set my consciousness to. I believe my mind to be a tool of my consciousness. As an aware being, it is in the realm of consciousness, not of mind that I dwell. There is a difference, a big difference. So, what is it that I need to do that I am not presently doing? It seems that something is still missing. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate the changes that are to come. But, I don't know what it is. The very fact that I am aware that something is lacking will be the impetus to bring what 60

is necessary into my life. But is that realistic, or is that simply wishful thinking. I still have a difficult time when I have something at stake ... especially something major at stake in the outcome. At the same time I know that all that I can really do is allow what would manifest to manifest ... and be open to run with the ball should it be handed to me in the process. It is for me to do what I can do ... that is all that can be expected. Our best is always good enough. It helps to realize that people are doing the best with what they have at all times. It is not for us to judge them. We know not what states of consciousness they experience or what reality they face. There is no way for us to walk in their shoes, even if we wanted to. Or is there? What any of us experience, all of us experience. It is a matter of being able to access that. This expression provides you with a big sample of what flows through this mind, this consciousness. In reading it, you are following the output that was generated while I was experiencing particular states. Does the expression trigger you to experience similar states? I can't know that. I can only know what the expression does for me. It allows me to revisit states of awareness that I have previously experienced. When I read or re-read the words, it is as if they are new ... coming forth for the first time. Sometimes there is a sense of deja vu, a general sense that I've been here before. But, most of time it is a fresh new experience. How can that be? How can I, the author, not be aware of the words that have come forth through me? For one thing, in just over a decade there have been several million words that have come forth. How can I be expected to remember even a small fraction of those? Further, I don't remember what I wrote in the last paragraph, and often in the prior sentence as the material is coming forth. I literally forget it as fast as it comes through. The sense is that I need a blank slate in my mind to allow more to come. Also, since I know that everything is recorded electronically, there is no need to bog down my memory with it. I can always bring up the expression for any day anytime I want. I just need to remember where to go to access it. Right now, that is still easy. The organization of material at the Beyond Imagination site is relatively simple. Yes, there are a lot of pages but they are organized into a fairly small number of areas, which are easily navigable. If the endeavor grows to include the efforts of others ... we'll have to do something about this. The Musings page is a case in point. It is a page of links, separated into years. The link names are the dates of musings. In 2002, there were over 300 of these. In 2003, there are over 250 and counting. At present, this is the most active area of change at the site.

4 October 2003 We’re starting this expression later in the day than normal for a weekend. I had to get a new computer and do everything to get it up and running, including downloading the latest version of Netscape so that I would have a web page editor. I hope the latest version is easy to use. I’ve been using Version 4.7 for so long that the jump to Version 7.1 is a big one. That’s OK, one way or another I’ll deal with it. It is good having a laptop again. It was twice the cost of an equivalent desktop, but the portability and size are key factors. I don’t have the space at home to set up a desktop machine. This allows me to work from anywhere in the house. Further, it permits me to bring my computing capability on the road when we go on trips. So, what would we express today? That is the question every day. We express whatever spirit would have us express. This is a stream of consciousness after all. The stream seems to know where it is going even if I do not. How could that be? How could I not be in control of my faculties? It just is. I observe what manifests as reality in my life. Yes, I believe that at some level I am creating it. But, it definitely is not consciously. That is OK. My reality is exactly what it needs to be at this time. If it needed to be something different, it would be different. There is a faith that goes with living life in this manner. It requires a deep trust in consciousness. I’ve had over ten years of this expression in which to develop this trust. There was a lot of expression that came forth. And, the bulk of it was addressed to me ... though I was moved to share nearly every word. You could say that that part of my life is an open book. Hmm ... 61

actually eight books to date and they only capture part of what was expressed. I still find it amazing that so much could come forth through me, especially given that I am one who rarely has anything to say to others. Yet here, we literally have millions of words. Though, I would venture to say that I am the only one who has read and experienced them all. Perhaps that is as it is meant to be. Perhaps this is indeed “for my eyes only”. Though, if that were really so, why would I be so moved to share what is expressed with others? But, am I moved enough to share in a more personal way? Yes, what I write is personal. But, it is relayed through words at a web site and through words in books. It seems that this is not enough. The message needs a live messenger to carry it. Is that messenger to be me? It could be, but it might not be. Am I up to doing this? Am I up to doing what it takes to be a spokesperson for Beyond Imagination? If not me, whom? I was in a bookstore today and checked out a copy of the Sedona Journal. Sure enough, the Beyond Imagination ad was there and looked good. It should be sufficient to attract the attention of a good number of people. I don't know how many copies the magazine sells. And, I don't know how many people read through the Classified Ads section expecting to find anything of value. Oh well, that was another thing that I was moved to do. The ad will be there through the December issue. After that, we need to decide if it is worth continuing it or not. At this point, I simple don't know. The price was reasonable, however. And, we seem to be getting more traffic at the Beyond Imagination site as a result. I can't know for certain, but that is the only recent change that I can think of that could account for the increased traffic. From my perspective, the more people we get to the Beyond Imagination site, the better. But, it needs to be the right people ... in particular, people who would be moved by the expression. At this point, I do not know who such people might be. It is not important that I know right now. Those who are meant to experience what Beyond Imagination has to offer will do so, one way or another. It is just a matter of time. We need to keep putting the energy out there. We need to keep expressing as consciousness would have us express. We can do great things, especially if we choose to work together to do so. We are powerful creators, each and every one of us. But, what we can do collectively is truly phenomenal. We have to let go of some of our independence to achieve this. I am excited by what lies ahead. The promise of things to come is grand and glorious. Actually, they are with us here and now. We are manifesting a lot of stuff in a short period of time. Though, to date this has primarily been associated with these words. But words have the power to move us to act ... and our actions have an impact on the world. When all is said and done, Beyond Imagination will have had its say ... and more importantly its impact. That, I'll see to. That is what moves me. That is what keeps me coming back to the blank page and filling it with whatever consciousness would express. I truly love doing this. This is what I am passionate about. Metaphysical expression is it for me. Serving as a vessel through which spirit can express in flesh is what I choose to do. Yes, of my own free will. I can't think of any better place to expend my time and energy. Well, it looks like I'm back in business ... though the new laptop doesn't even have a floppy drive. So, I'm going to have to find another way to move information around from machine to machine. Where there is a will, there is a way. The three machines that I use all have CDROM capability. That's one alternative. I'm sure there are others if I think it through. My web pages are primarily text, so they don't take up much space individually. However, when you talk about over 1000 files, the size easily exceeds 10 Mbytes. Several years ago, I put everything at the Beyond Imagination site onto a zip disk and adjusted the links so that the site could be run in an offline mode directly from the zip disk. Perhaps it is time to do that again. Only this time we could put all the Beyond Imagination material on CDROMs. Unfortunately that would take substantial work. I'm not sure that I'm up to such a project at this time. Though, perhaps it is something that someone else might be able to do. Here, it would be nice if I was making enough money to hire some of these kinds of tasks out. However, funds are still restricted. Though, it seems that the abundance wagon is just around the next bend. 62

Writing is something that I need to be doing everyday. It is a habit for me, a beneficial one from my perspective ... though others might see it as something that isolates me from others. That is OK. People are entitled to their opinions. That doesn't alter the facts of what I experience, however. I would be whom that I am and express as I must anyway. Though, the opinions of others do matter to me personally. I encourage feedback ... I really do. In particular, I would like to know if you are moved by this expression and how you are moved by it.

5 October 2003 Another day. I'm writing this from my new laptop once again. I think I'm going to like it. Isn't the march of technology wonderful? It's amazing how much capability can be purchased so affordably. Electronics and in particular computers have come a long way in the past two to three decades. Actually, they come a long way every few years. It is too bad our consciousness technology does not follow suit and evolve in the same manner. Oh well, we'll just have to live with what we can get ... or better yet with what we can do. And, we can do a lot. We can do far more now than we could even a few years ago. Our numbers are growing, that is the numbers of us that believe that we have an active role in creating the reality that we experience. At some point we will reach a critical mass and this will become a predominant worldview. Patience, one step at a time. That is the trick to getting to any destination ... take it one step at a time and enjoy the journey along the way. This is a matter of choice, it is something that we can always do. Though it seems that many of us do not do this. We do not appreciate the incredible beauty and majesty around us. There is so much that is grand and glorious. This very body that we inhabit is a miracle in progress. Its complexity far surpasses anything we can even dream to create. The only way that we know how to make them is to grow them. This is a long and tedious process, requiring extensive time and effort to do it right. And, even then, we don't know what we produced until we see its works. Yes, by their works shall thou know them is a great truth. If it doesn't make it to the works, it just doesn't count. We can dream of some wonderful things ... but unless we create works that convey these to others, it is all for naught. Actually that is not quite correct. Consciousness herself is a witness to all that we do and all that we think. If a thought can get through once, it is highly likely that it can get through again via another person. It seems that no thought makes it through until there is fertile ground for it. However, that does not mean it will be planted there. The planting is up to us. Some thoughts stew in our consciousness for a long time before we take action to attempt to manifest them. That is OK. Things happen when the time is right. Thoughts incite action when such action is necessary. Someone said nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. They were correct. Indeed, ideas can be that powerful. No, not all ideas are. Some are clearly more powerful than others. So, what would we do today? Obviously, we are here expressing. But, what else would we do? At this point I do not know. It seems that there is only so much that I can do. However, it also seems that I am letting my understanding of my nature limit how I am able to express. Our natures are much more fluid and flexible than this. They are not meant to restrict our expression, rather to enhance and facilitate it. Interesting. So, how am I limiting myself? It seems that I am doing this needlessly. I could be free, if only I would allow myself to be. That requires communicating with people differently than I have. Am I up to the change and the challenge? It seems that I wouldn't be observing these things and asking these questions if I wasn't ready to implement the answers. That does not mean it will be easy. In fact, it will indeed be a challenge, and a major one at that. However, this is what it takes to be all that I can be. And, that is one thing that I have vowed to be in this existence. Whatever it takes, that is what I need to do. That is whatever it takes without doing harm to others or myself. This last restriction is an important one. It is what allows us to act ethically ... and ensure that we do far more good than harm. We have many things that we can do at any given moment. How do we choose to do one thing versus another? We choose based on what we are moved to do from deep inside of us. There is a part of us that is connected 63

to source, to spirit. This part knows what we should be doing at any given time. It doesn't force us to do these things however. It gently prods and makes its intent known if we'll but listen. But, it will not decide for us and it will not do for us what we are perfectly able to do for ourselves. It is for us to decide what we will do with our lives. It is for us to make it the masterpiece that it can be. It is for us to make whatever life statements that we choose to make. The bottom line is to find a way to make the world a better place for our having lived. We can always do this. Some make a difference in the lives of their family and friends. This is perfectly fine. Others make a difference by moving others. The artists among us fall in this category. Some make a difference by moving the state of our knowledge. In technology, this can yield products and inventions that change our world. Still others make their difference by moving us spiritually. In the end, it is for each of us to find our place in the world, and make the difference that is appropriate for that place. Whatever it is, is right for us. Not everyone is destined to change the consensus world. But, all of us are meant to make a difference in our private worlds. So, if I could live my life differently ... what would I choose to do? I would have more friendships and relationships. I would speak out more and express my feelings more. But, what is preventing you from doing this? It seems that so long as I consider myself to be a hermit, I will experience a reality of isolation from others. Is this what I really want? It allows me to do things that I could not otherwise do. This very expression is enabled by having the time to express on a regular basis. It seems that friendships and relationships would tap into this time. Though, the experiences might yield expression that was all the richer. How important is this to me? Is it important enough to change how I view myself to be? This seems so fundamental to my character. I've treated it as a positive feature for so long. It is difficult to consider that it might be limiting me in some way. There is also the possibility that this is what and how I am to express. One path would have me lead a relatively solitary existence for all of my days. But is that really the path that I would choose? If we base things on past choices ... that will indeed be my future. However, we can always make new choices. We aren't constrained to what we have done in the past unless we choose to be so. My sense is that I'm starting to choose otherwise, though the change is happening slowly. That too is OK. Small changes in the nearterm can create great differences in time. It is important to be flexible and to do things differently. When we continue to do the same things in the same way, we get the same results. That is OK if we are happy and leading the life we would choose to live. However, if we are not, the only way it will change is if we do what it takes to change it. There are many things about my life that are working. My overall productivity is excellent, both at work and in this expression. I am starting to manifest material abundance though it wouldn't hurt for this to take a leap up. I've generated several million words over the course of the past decade and have been at a 500,000 words per year pace for the past two years. What is missing is the means for these words to touch others. Oh, they reach a few people ... but this is still relatively sparse, far less than the number whom this work could positively impact. It's not like people can't see what they are getting. Most of the material is openly available on the WWW. All that we ask is the people not take more than they give. In particular, that they give of themselves in service to others value equivalent to what they get from here. That is one of the tricks to life ... to get more you must give more. It is giving that primes the abundance pump. In Eastern philosophy they know this. However, in the West, we tend to think of the supply being limited and that we need to compete to take our share or others may take it. This is a very different worldview. It is for us to adopt the best of what works from wherever we can find it. Giving more than you take creates a surplus. The more that we do this, the bigger the surplus. Then it is a matter of distribution to ensure that people get what they need. Simple economics, if we don't ensure that people get what they need, there is unnecessary lack and suffering. Why would we choose to create that? Yet, how many people exist under poverty conditions? Yes, there is a belief that God helps those we help themselves. But to what degree does this apply individually versus collectively? We have enough stuff, enough goods and services, that no one should have to go without. But, we don't have the resolve to 64

manifest this in our reality. We don't collectively take responsibility for all of us very well. If we did, we would see no one go hungry, or without shelter, or without a job, or without health care and other basic services. We've spoken of this before many times. But, what does it take for the collective to take action? It does not seem fair for those who choose to volunteer and to give to charities to carry the burden for all of us. This is a collective responsibility that we all need to bear. Social programs only go so far. They are a place to start, but the bureaucracies it takes to administer them and the cycle of poverty that is perpetuated are evidence that the system is not working. We are not getting the intended results for the resource expended. How can I speak of things of which I have little direct experience in this existence? How could one who has been nearly the opposite of social speak of social systems and social responsibility? What can I say? It just flows out like this. There is a sense that I have been involved in such things before and that I know things from those prior existences. No, I cannot prove this. I just don't know how else to explain the source for expertise not obtained during this lifetime. I know what I have read. I know how I've been trained in this existence. These things were not part of that. This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure that it will not be the last. It seems that what we have learned previously is called forth when it is needed in our lives. Our lives build one upon the next to allow us to take on new roles and new challenges ever moving up the scale of awareness. In the end, it is the level of awareness that we have reached that matters. This is what we get to keep from one incarnation to the next, though it seems that there is an inheritance that goes along with this. We don't just enter with our prior level of awareness. That would make it too confusing to endure the slow growth of the body and the mind. At some point in our life, we awaken to whom that we are. Actually, many seem to go through life without ever doing this. Perhaps that is because their level of awareness is already in line with what they are manifesting. My own case is an extreme. I know that. I came into my inheritance with the spiritual awakening experience in 1993. That was over a decade ago and my life has not been the same since. I consider myself aware. However, my limited interactions with others do not allow me to know how my experience compares to theirs. That is OK. Such comparisons are not necessary anyway. Each of us is what we are. We are each growing into what we can become and what we are meant to be. Collectively we are growing into a body for Cosmic Consciousness to inhabit. The organizations that we create are the organs and limbs of that body.

6 October 2003 Another day ... another musing. So it continues. It seems that so long as I will allow her to speak through me, consciousness will have something to say. This has become a habit. Yet, I am still aware of the magic and mystery of it all. It still blows me away that all of this could be expressed through me. But, after ten years, I have become accustomed to it ... so much so that my days are not the same when I don't have the time or opportunity to express. Fortunately that is relatively infrequently. We're averaging one missed day out of every ten days. That makes for a lot of musings. But, is all of this worth it? Is it worth the time that I spend on it? It is worth it to me. It makes a big difference in my life. However, is it worth it to others? Does it serve others in some way? I would life my life in a manner that makes a difference. I've known that I have a special role to play for many years. And, it seems I am up to playing that role. I accept what spirit has in store for my life. It is not necessary for me to live as I prefer. What matters is what spirit would have me do. This I listen for within. There is a source inside to whom I connect. It is via this inner source that much of this communication manifests. Yes, manifests ... is brought into being physically. October marches on. We are nearly one week into it already. Yet, we have a lot of expression to show for that week. Further, we are highly motivated to continue expressing on multiple fronts concurrently. At 65

present, we have these musings, Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers all in progress. The later two should be ready to send to the publisher by Thanksgiving. Yes, that is only eight weeks away. Finishing and proofing two books in that time will be a challenge. But, it is a challenge that I am up for and readily accept. There is still a sense that something is missing. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate things that I am not yet doing. I have asked what this might be, but so far consciousness has been silent on this. That is OK. When it is time to act, I will be moved to do so ... there will be no doubt as to what is right under the circumstances. That is how I live my life these days, one day at a time. In the evenings and on weekends it is one moment after another. I do not plan things for the most part. I allow myself to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. Thus far this has assured that those things that need to get done do get done ... at least, as far as I know. Then again, how much do I really know in this matter? My experience is that I am more aware than most. But, what good does this increased awareness do? It allows me to express in the manner that I do here. Whether that is good or not is for you to determine, not me. What does this expression do to your life? How does it impact you? Does it allow you to experience more of whom that you are? This more than anything else is its purpose ... to effect a change in consciousness to those who encounter it. In the end, it is consciousness that matters. Yet, much of what states of consciousness we reach is demonstrated by what we do and how we do it. Consciousness is as consciousness does. The goal is to become ever more aware and to express this increased awareness in all that we do. This is how we live as the expression of spirit in flesh. This is how we stay true to whom that we are. With the appropriate awareness we can achieve all things because it is ultimately spirit doing the work through us. Of our own, what we can do is limited. But, spirit has no such limitations. Her limits come from how freely we allow her to express through us to do her works. I would live a life of spirit. But, this doesn't happen automatically. It requires discipline and dedication. We have to want it. We have to choose it for ourselves. Spirit won't force her way into our lives. It is up to us to invite her to become an active force in our life. That is a choice that only we can make ... and we must make for ourselves. Yet, it is a choice that makes all the difference in the world in our lives. So, by all means, do make it. What would we do next? My life does not appear to be moving me in a direction to meet more people. Further, it does not seem to be moving in a direction to free me from my present work environment. I'm still moved to express. But, I know that there is something more that I could be doing ... that I should be doing ... that I would be doing if only I knew what it was. My life is unlike that of others. I still find it strange that one who is so isolated and silent would express and share in this manner. Yet, it seems like the right thing to do. The sense is that I am carrying out my destiny somehow. I am meant to write, especially in this manner. There is something about the freedom of stream of consciousness expression that makes this special. I don't know how others write. For me, it is a matter of recording the voice that I hear in my head. No, it is not an external voice. It is an inner voice that I am able to hear with my mind nonetheless. That it can express as it does here is still amazing to me after all these years. Then again, a decade is not so long. I would live as I believe. I would have my actions be congruent with what I say and what I believe. It has not always been thus. For many years I lived in my head and thought about many things without really taking actions. That is no longer enough. It hasn't been for some time. I must do as I am moved to do. This includes doing what it takes to build the foundations for a new world. This requires interacting with others to make it so ... it being whatever we desire to manifest. In this case, we are talking on a world level. What do we need to see from society, from government, from the economy, and from the educational system as places to start? These are major social systems or functions of social systems. It is time for us to do what it takes to make them the best that they can be. We can do this now. The time is ripe for change. We truly live during a wonderful time in the history or the world and the planet. It will be interesting to see what challenges we attract into our reality and how we deal with those challenges. 66

It was difficult to stay focused at work today. I truly desire to make this expression my full time occupation. However, in exchange for giving it all that I AM, I want to see abundance manifest in my life. That suggests a conditional arrangement. However, I am already doing the work on a half time basis. It only seems fair to expect consciousness to live up to its side of the bargain. The reward for doing what we love to do is unlimited abundance, all that we need will be made available to us. But, we must do the work first. It is difficult keeping things straight working from multiple computers. I guess I'll just have to get used to it. One of the difficulties is in using technology from different eras. Things work on one machine but not on another. Software is almost compatible but not quite. I'm glad someone besides me is working out all of the details. There is no way that I could ever keep it all straight. Being a user of the technology is enough. This very expression is being generated as a split file because I had a floppy and a zip drive/disk fail on the same day. Fortunately, I don't experience such problems very often. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I would do. I rely on computers as the means for capturing this expression and for sharing it. It wouldn't be the same if the internet were not so readily available. If I could be whatever I wanted to be ... what would I be? That is an interesting question. I would definitely be a writer, but I am already that. I would have some friends, in particular close friends with whom I could be myself. At this time, it seems spirit serves as that for me. That, and my Self. I would not be so much a loner ... though I can still see needing my private time. It seems what is needed is a sense of balance. I have a tendency to do things to extremes. That leads to a very interesting experience of reality. I would be more outgoing ... though, that is a sort of half-hearted desire. I'm not sure that I really believe that such is how I would like to live. That is a problem. Mixed emotions are the main reason that this area in my reality is still unsettled. I haven't decided what I really want. There is a fear of losing what I have. Yet, at the same time there is a knowingness that I must make the leap to arrive at something better. And the potential is there for it to be far better. Be grateful for what you have. Unless we are appreciative of all that we have been given, there is no room to receive more in our life. I don't remember ever thinking about what I would do when I grew up as a kid. I had no real dreams. I didn't spend much time with other kids. I was extremely shy and kept to myself. Little has changed. I'm still quite shy and keep to myself. I still spend the bulk of my time alone. Only now, I do so out of choice. However, am I in the midst of changing this? I would like to think that I am. But, thinking about it is not enough. It is time to do something. If this is truly what I want, I need to make my intentions known and go about the business of creating what I desire. The musing is going slow tonight. I took a couple of hours to install software, move files between machines, and explore lodging options for our upcoming trip to Southern Utah. It's still four weeks away, but at the rate time is moving, that will be here before we know it. It has been awhile since my last vacation. I'm looking forward to visiting Bryce Canyon again. The last time I was there was just after I met my wife to be, over 16 years ago. I used to visit the National Parks often, sometimes several times in a year. Since that trip 16 years ago, I've only visited Yosemite a couple of times. I haven't gone to any other National Parks. I hadn't really thought about it ... but I do miss it. There is something wonderful about these parks, something precious and special. They are indeed the best that nature has to offer. And, she has done some incredible handiwork. Why don't I see people in the same light? People are incredible creations that have the ability to do even more incredible things. Why am I not as fascinated by them as I am by nature? Why is my focus so individual and self-centered? For one thing, it needs to be for me to explore and experience consciousness in the way that I have. But, is that an excuse ... a rationalization for accepting things as they have been? I don't need to do that. Regardless of why I experienced what I experienced, I can choose a different path here and now. I'm not stuck with the ways of the past. I can make the future what I choose for it to be by making different decisions now. This is true for all of us. Reality creation is an art. It is a process that we go through to manifest the things that we experience. We 67

are all good at it. Though, most of this is still done at other than conscious levels. That doesn't mean it has to be, it just has been to date.

7 October 2003 Once again we start with a blank slate and see where consciousness would take us. In a very real way, it is as if we are on a ride ... the ride of our life. Consciousness takes us into new realms where we are able to explore aspects of ourselves and of the world that we never knew. It is an amazing process. Clearly, I have assessed it to be worthy of my time and effort. This expression captivates me ... but it also enlivens me. It is in doing this that I truly get to live, to be whom that I AM. There is something special about this stream of consciousness expression. It is distinguished from everything else that I do. This is the one thing that I know will ultimately have value ... though, even then, I know not how much value. That depends on how many the expression reaches and how they are impacted by what is said. I wouldn't presume to know what that will be. That seems like it is in spirits realm to determine not mine. All that I can do is make the expression as clear as possible. I do that for the most part by getting out of the way and allowing spirit to do as she will. Is that a viable way of living one's life. For me, it clearly is. I suspect this would be true for others as well. I do what I am moved by spirit to do. I do that willingly, without any mental reservations. Some might see this as wasting my life. I see it as apply my life in service to something greater than me. These are quite different perspectives. However, in life, what counts is our perspective ... not that of another. Though, at times it is useful to take in feedback from others. It is also helpful for us to give feedback to the world in which we live. That may involve feedback to others or feedback on things that we like or dislike happening in the world. Unless we notice and provide appropriate feedback, how can we expect circumstances to improve? The bottom line is that we can't. Things will get better when we band together and do the things necessary to make them better. That is how reality creation works. It is up to us to do what is necessary to manifest what we want to experience. I am struggling with staying focused and staying awake at work. On the one hand, I don't really want to be here ... I want to be free to do the work that Beyond Imagination is meant to do. However, on the other hand, there is the reality of needing a sufficient income to pay the bills and live comfortably. For that, we have entered into a contract to provide hours of services in exchange for a weekly salary. It is important to do sufficient work each day to justify that salary. I owe that to my employer so long as our contract is in effect. But, spirit herself is also my employer. What do I owe to her? She is responsible for bringing forth millions of words into manifestation through this vehicle in just over ten years. What is that worth? How do I repay her for all of this? I have lived a very sheltered existence overall. The spiritual and the metaphysical have consumed me for 30 of my 45 years, basically all of my adult life. What do I have to show for it? I have the words that are in this expression; the words that I have been moved to express, capture, and share. But, what is that worth? It depends on who the words reach and how they are touched and moved by them. The words have the potential to help awaken others. In doing so, much good can be unleashed do to the nature of the works that these awakened souls will do. From everything that I have seen, increased awareness leaves clear benefits in its path. The more aware, the more good that is done. It is that simple. But, how do we know if we are becoming more aware? In my experience, there is an inner recognition that something wonderful has changed, that we are no longer what we formerly thought ourselves to be. We are more, much more ... we are spirit manifest. The expression to date has already been the equivalent of a lifetime's expression for most. But, I am just getting started. There is so much to do and so little time to do it that we can't waste it by sitting back and doing nothing. Yet that is precisely what I was moved to do for several hours earlier today. We are all riding on one big spaceship ... that beautiful jewel that we call earth. My sense is that few realize this. 68

And further, fewer still do something with this realization. That doesn't mean that we can't change this. It just means that there is some strong inertia to overcome.

8 October 2003 Yesterday was a light day for musings. I went to lunch and all I wanted to do is sleep when I got home. I did move some more files to my new machine and install FTP software so that I can do my uploads of files from home. But, that is about all I did. Some days are like that. I just don't feel like doing anything except to veg out or rest. That's not a problem so long as it is the exception rather than the rule. So far, that is indeed the case as the musings can attest. This stream of consciousness needs no rest. It continues to pour forth at every opportunity given to it. It cannot express without our cooperation however. We have to choose to give it voice. For me, that is an easy choice. I'm a writer after all. Using my skills to serve consciousness seems to be the most natural and most beneficial application of these skills. Besides, I am blown away by what is created. This expression knocks my socks off. I cannot imagine not participating in it. My life would clearly not be the same. Every day is a gift from consciousness. It is for us to find a way to use this gift in a manner that serves others in our world. For introverts, this can be a challenge. Though, many things that we do have effects in the outer as well. How do we live in a manner that our life positively impacts all of those whom we touch? That is indeed the goal for living right. We are meant to make a difference in our world. We have the power to do that. It is a matter of applying ourselves in a way that makes optimal use of our talents. Spirit expects from us our very best. But, we cannot deliver that unless we expect it of us as well. We need to demand our very best. However, we need to be careful to not overdo it. Good enough is good enough. There is a point of diminishing returns ... a point where the effort to improve the result is not worth the added value generated. It is important that we detect these points so that we can apply any remaining effort of things of real value. Note: this does not mean we have to work every minute of every day. We need time to rest and recreate ourselves. However, it is important that we do those things that are ours to do in a timely manner. How do we know what these are? And, what constitutes "timely". The bottom line is that we will know. All that is needed is to tap the source within. Beyond Imagination Quotes was officially published today. That makes six. The Search for Center shouldn't be more than a week or so behind it. That will make seven. 2003 Musing - Vol II was sent to the publisher of September 12. Next week will make it a month already. It seems like it was yesterday. Where does the time go. I'm concurrently working on three additional projects for release early in 2004. There is a lot of work remaining ... but I think that I am up to doing it. Staying focused at work is becoming more and more difficult. I don't really want to be here ... but I don't see any opportunities opening up that would allow me to move to a different position. What I would like is to be able to work fulltime in the employ of spirit. What makes me think that I am not in that position already? Is there something about my present work that I'm missing? While I'm doing it, I need to find a way to make it captivating. It needs to be interesting and challenging. That's not much to ask of a job. That is the minimum that makes it acceptable. It would also help if it was clear that the work truly made a difference somehow. Perhaps it does, but I'm just not seeing it. That leads to some frustration and a desire for something better. It will be interesting to see what manifests out of this. Something has to give. I have to have work that is challenging and fulfilling. I demand it. This expression falls into that category ... but that is no longer enough. It is not clear that I can separate my work life from my spiritual life. Selling 40 hours per week to make a living does not seem right somehow. Though, I would gladly put in 60 hours per week towards spiritual work in exchange for abundance. I'm effectively willing to give my life to the expression of spirit. How do I get her to employ me in this manner? This expression 69

is easy. It is automatic. It just flows forth. I don't have to plan it or work at it ... I just do it. Sometimes my work is like that as well, but all too often the tiredness and boredom set in. I can't help feeling that I would rather be somewhere else doing other things. But, the feeling is not strong enough to act on yet. And, I don't know what action I could take anyway. I am good at the things that I do. Moving to a different job would require learning new things. Perhaps that is what the doctor ordered. Perhaps it is time to move on to bigger and better things, or at least different things. Yet, what would I do? My expertise is somewhat limited having worked a long time on the same program. It seems wasteful to lose the advantage of that expertise. Yet, my system knowledge is fairly high level ... it does not go very deep. That is partially due to the systems engineering focus. There must be a way to apply what I have learned to my spiritual work. I know that no resources are wasted. We learn the things that we need to learn to carry out our missions in accord with our destiny. What would I do next? Where would I go? What changes would I make in my life? How do I find the others with whom I am meant to work? This last questions presumes that there are others. I firmly believe this to be the case. I also believe that when we will meet is somehow destined. It will happen when it needs to happen. I can attempt to do things to accelerate this, but most of them will be for naught. Spirit has a timing for things that is beyond our comprehension. It is best to allow things to unfold naturally. What about creating our own reality? Yes, we can do that. But, when we do we are responsible for what gets created. When we allow what spirit would create in our life, we are still responsible but we have the force of spirit behind what we are experiencing. That makes all of the difference in the world. But, isn't that fatalistic? Indeed it is ... but what is wrong with having a fate, with having a destiny? The bottom line is nothing. In some ways our destiny is bigger than us. It is what we came to this planet and this incarnation to do. It is who we came to be. Right now, this expression is what I came to do. But, there is a sense that it is to grow into something more. The very way that I live my life is to evolve into something greater and grander. At this point, I don't know what that will be. However, I am excited by the prospects that lie ahead. It is as if my life is about to take off in a whole new direction. I'm ready for this. And, it's about time. However, it cannot be rushed. I'm open to whatever changes would come into my life. I'm open to being and expressing more of whom that I am. As usual, I'll do that one step at a time ... doing what I am moved to do in each moment. That is the only way I know to live my life. Planning doesn't seem to work for me. Then again, I haven't really tried it for awhile. Perhaps things have changed and this is a tool that would work now. I already know that spirit has a hand in this expression. She would also have a hand in any plans that I would develop. When we resign ourselves actively to our destiny, the universe meets us and supplies to us all that is needed to carry out our mission. We only have to believe that this is so ... and then follow through and take the necessary action in line with this. Can it be that simple? Indeed, it can. Is all of this wishful thinking? Is my dissatisfaction with what is coming forth? Is the happiness that is missing showing? Yes, I admit, my life could be better. And, I desire to make it so. But, am I willing to do what it takes to change it into something better? I believe that I am. But, the proof comes in what I would do. What would I change and when? How would I express differently? How would I develop the relationships that are so sorely lacking? This seems to be the major area in need of change. If I can fix the relationships ... it seems everything else will fall into place naturally. But it takes at least two to work on relationships. The desire to relate has to be there. The connection that forms a basis for the relationship has to be there. For 45 years, I haven't been very good at connecting with people. Is that to change? Or, is there a reason for it? We need to be careful not to turn that into an excuse. So, where do I find the others that I am to related to? Are they searching for me as I am searching for them? Are we destined to meet when the time is right? At this point, I don't get out a lot. The only places for me to meet people are at work and via the internet. I've taken the first step with all that I've been moved to share. But, is that enough? It is a lot. But, it seems that there is more that I can do. I haven't really 70

risked anything yet. I've invested a lot of my time and resources, but that is not the same as risking something. How do I put what I believe on the line? How do I bet on myself in the game of life? It seems that I have not really been living. Oh, I have been existing and getting by. And, I have been expressing nearly endlessly. But, have I really been living? The sense is that if I had, I would have experienced far more happiness in my life. That is OK, it is never too late to start. So, what can I do that would make me happy? It seems that happiness is a state of consciousness that one chooses. But, is it not also something that one pursues? Did not our founding fathers call the pursuit of happiness one of our inalienable rights? It is interesting that they did not say achieving happiness was a right, only the pursuit thereof. How does one pursue something that can be so illusive? It seems that we need to be methodological in our pursuit. Either that, or we need to follow the path that spirit reveals to us. That is still my preference, to allow spirit to call the shots and take me to where she will. At some point, that may change. Perhaps even soon. But, until it does, I will continue to do as I am moved to do. Right now, that means expressing here in this manner and sharing the expression with any who find it. I trust that this is what I am meant to do. It feels right. This growing body of works is a testament to consciousness expressing through me.

9 October 2003 Again we start with the familiar blank slate. But, it is on that slate that we have the freedom to express whatever consciousness would express through us. I'm still amazed at the frequency and quantity of expression. This is the 22nd month in a row of near daily expression. I have nothing to compare that to in over 10 years of doing this. Further, there is no sense that it will end soon. Though, in December 2001, I had no idea that it was about to start either. The bottom line is to capture what can be expressed while the capturing is good. We can worry about further processing the material when we have the free time to do so. Right now, the raw musings are sufficient. They capture a stream of consciousness that reveals a process of growth and increasing awareness. These are the footsteps or mindsteps that I leave for those who choose to follow my path. Clearly, it is a path ... it is not the path. Follow it so long as it interests you and so long as you are able to grow from the experience. You will know if you are growing. It will be obvious. There are some things that are hidden from us. But, most of the important things are right in front of us where they can readily be seen or be felt. Don't underestimate the importance of feeling and of direct knowing. There will be things that you just know even though there is no logical explanation as to how. Try to go with that knowingness when you can. It will definitely make your life flow more smoothly. Why is it that we write each day? For one thing, I am a writer ... and one becomes better at one's craft through doing it as much as you can. Also, there is a stream of consciousness that seeks to be expressed, and I am a channel for that expression. Yes, I'm an active channel, but I am a channel nonetheless. Even after a decade, I still experience this expression as coming from an inner source that is not a part of me. This source is my intuitive connection to consciousness, to spirit herself. Yes, herself. I still experience this source as being feminine. I don't know why, that is just how she comes across. The connection is magical. What comes forth from consciousness is amazing to behold. The expression constantly challenges what I know myself to be and what I believe about reality and reality creation. This is a major part of my reality. It is by far the greatest consumer of my free time. However, I would have it no other way. This expression is that important to me. It is as important as the air that I breathe. It is the fire that my spirit consumes in order to exist as it does. Spirit is express as the fire signs in astrology. I happen to be a triple fire - Sun, Moon, and Rising signs. So, spirit is it for me. Not much else commands my attention.

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That is OK. Each of us have our parts and roles to play. Each will present its challenges and its rewards. It is for us to seek and find those things that we are meant to do. This is well within our ability to do. Further, the very universe is conspiring to ensure that we succeed in this. However, the universe responds to the actions that we take. If we are silent, if we do nothing, the universe matches our efforts in kind. The key is to actively pursue our dreams of who we can be and what we can do. Appreciate, but never be satisfied with what is. There are always things that can be done to make it better. Don't just think about what might be ... do something that helps to make it so. What, you ask? Whatever you are moved to do. There is something within you that knows what part you are meant to play and it will naturally guide you there if you allow it to. That means getting in touch with this inner source within you. However, to do that you have to believe. But, that is what beliefs are for. They are meant to help isolate what we want in our lives from what we do not want. This is not always an easy decision to make. As a result our experiences are more challenging then necessary. But, at least this keeps them interesting. It is better that they be interesting than that they be boring. Life is meant to be an exciting adventure. But, it is only such if we expect it to be and we do what it takes to make it so. Many don't have the follow through to do whatever it takes. However, that is what distinguishes those who succeed in manifesting what they desire from those who don't. It is our actions that determine what we get in life. It is for us to make those actions count for something. The greatest things that we can do are those things that serve not only ourselves but serve others. It is service that matters. The more service the better. The universe ensures that no service goes unrecognized or unrewarded. How do we build cooperative interdependent organizations? How do we get people to work together toward a common aim? Can we come up with a vision that people can rally behind and be willing to commit to? We are asking for a voluntary commitment of time and energy ... and potentially resources. It seems that we need to deliver something in return. But, we can't tell exactly what we will deliver until we see what we are able to create. So, there is a risk. We might not succeed in our efforts the first time ... or even the nth time. But if we persist, nothing can stop us. Success is guaranteed, for spirit herself is working through us and she knows no failure ... not in the long run anyway. Cooperation requires at least two working together. Actually that is not quite correct. This very expression is the result of me cooperating with spirit. We co-operate, spirit and I ... we operate together to allow this stream of consciousness to flow as it does. What would I do differently? What would I change to further disseminate this material to the world? It seems that it is not enough to post the material. That reaches some but nowhere near the numbers that I believe we are meant to touch. So, what other avenues are available to spread the word ... or in this case the millions of words? Do I really expect people to be interested in reading all of this? Yes, I am interested because the material came through me and has special significance. But, can I expect others to read the material as well? The sense is a resounding yes. I wouldn't have been moved to publish so much of it if I didn't believe there was an audience that could be served by what is expressed. It is not for me to know how these people will be served. I can't tell what passages will trigger altered states of consciousness and changes in levels of awareness. But, I know that the material as a whole has the power to do this. That makes it worth something. That makes it worth every minute and every dime that I have invested in it. Return on investment is in vogue these days. In this case, there hasn't yet been a direct return on investment. Though I have experienced states of awareness that are priceless. I am happy with what I have experienced and expressed to date. And, I look forward to what will come in the years ahead. Each year keeps getting better than the past ones. It will be interesting to see how long the roller coaster ride lasts. There is a thrill in being able to express like this. Here is where I dance on the edge of the unknown realms of consciousness. My bipolar condition helps in this regard. It makes it OK to experience excursions of mental states that others don't seem to experience. Yes, this makes me a little bit crazy. But, if this communication is an example of what can come from being crazy, then perhaps more of us should give ourselves permission to be a little crazy. We need to be careful here. There is a fine balance that we are keeping. Too far off the deep end and we drive ourselves to the mental hospital. I 72

know firsthand. I've been there twice ... initially when I was diagnosed as bipolar, and five years later after months of stopping taking my medications. That last episode was over five years ago. Since then, I've taken my meds daily. The current regimen is Eskalith, Depakote, and Zyprexa. Whether these are all required and whether I need the present dosages ... I have no way of knowing. What I know is that I am currently able to function in society and express here ... and that the side effects seem tolerable. That doesn't mean that I am completely happy with my reality. However, I know that it is within my power to change the things that I don't particularly like. I can create my reality to be what I would have it be. Unfortunately, I don't have a clear picture of what I really want and I have this intense aversion to forcing my desires on anyone. Yes, this limits what I can change. Perhaps it is too strict of a limitation to impose on myself. However, I take the directive "Thy will not mine be done" very seriously. I would do as spirit directs, not necessarily what I might want. Though, lately these tend to be the same thing. Everything comes down to actions. What are we willing to do to effect change in our lives and in the world? It is not enough to think something. Though thoughts do have their value and are powerful. We must take action in accord with what we believe to effect the change that we desire to see. It also helps to be the change that we desire and demonstrate firsthand the results of this change. A living example goes a long way. It serves as a pattern that others can follow. We need our wayshowers in the world. They allow us to see what we can be and what we can create. It doesn't have to be difficult. This is a very natural process. The universe is conspiring to enable us to be all that we can be. We simply need to open up and allow it to manifest. That means getting rid of beliefs about ourselves, reality, and the world that are getting in the way and do not serve us. But, good riddance ... it is time for these to go anyway. What are we holding onto? A limited version/vision of ourself does not serve us or our world. We can change this. It is all a matter of presence of mind ... or presence of spirit. Consciousness is the key. Where we allow our consciousness to take us ultimately determines what reality we will experience. Consciousness is everything. Consciousness spawns all expression. She is the source of what you see here. But she is also the source of what you experience hour by hour and day by day. Many are still asleep, however. Though, that probably doesn't apply if you are reading this. My sense is that consciousness attracted you here because there is something that you can get from this expression. You are one of those who can be served by this stream of consciousness. I don't know exactly how or why. I only know that we bring into our life those experiences that we need to learn and to grow so that we can express more of whom that we are. I know this is how it works for me. And, I know enough to know that what works for me is likely to work for others as well. No, it won't work for everyone. But, variations should work for most of those drawn to this expression. You are part of a self-selected group. What difference this expression makes in your life is up to you to determine.

10 October 2003 What would we express today? We never really know in advance. The expression just comes forth. We allow it to be whatever it would be ... trusting that spirit knows what is right and would not lead us astray. Today marks the ten year anniversary of the conclusion of my first vacation to the mental hospital. It was a ten day vacation that concluded a period of nearly six weeks of fire on the brain. Actually, even with the medications I was still flying quite high in the following months as years, so much so that additional medications were added from time to time. I don't know that I've ever been normal. And, it is clear that I never will be such. But that doesn't really matter. I've taken pride in being different. I wear it as a badge of distinction. This is not your average communication that you see here. It is a stream of consciousness expression. That is not something that we are used to seeing. Many would fear that they would simply babble on. And, perhaps that is exactly what I'm doing. Then again, I have the sense that this communication is worth something and that it can help people somehow. That is my hope and my dream anyway. Being of service to the world is extremely important to me. My life must make a meaningful 73

difference. It must contribute to the betterment of society in some way. This is true to some degree for all of us ... but clearly for some more than others. The bottom line is to do what feels right for you. You will know what this is. It will call to your soul. And, when you are doing it, it will animate you as nothing else does. 10/10 ... that links to Reality Creation 1010. And then a tenth anniversary to boot. My, we are full of 10's today. 10 is the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot. I haven't really related much to it. Oh well. Perhaps at another time in another place. Hmm ... speaking of places, we have been here nearly 7 years. That is as long as I've ever lived anywhere. We lived in Monterey for close to 7 years just prior to this. In some ways, it seems like it is time for a change. Though, at the same time where we are at is comfortable. We have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Oh, the house could be grander. But, it was quite a bargain for what we got. Overall, things don't matter to me a whole lot. But then, neither do individual people. Yet I dream of doing things to help society as a whole. I dream of building the foundations for a new world. How many people dream such a grand dream? And, how many people are willing to give their life to fulfill that dream? My sense is that they are few and far between. But somehow we must come together to jointly create what none of us can manifest alone. We know this. And we seek the time when we will find and join our brethren in this great cause. My hope is that will be soon. But, I have nothing tangible on which to base that. We can always hope. We can always dream. The journey to a better tomorrow starts with the step we take here and now. That these steps are individual steps is OK for the moment. Soon they will be the steps of the masses. And then, the world will change in ways beyond imagination. There is a reason that this expression falls under that umbrella. What consciousness is expressing here ... and what will result from people being exposed to this expression will indeed be beyond imagination. How can I know that? It is just obvious to me. It doesn't matter that I have yet to see this impact. Actually that is not quite correct. I've seen it in myself. I just haven't seen it in others yet. I'm not aware of who has really been exposed to this expression. There are a handful of people that have e-mailed me a few times. But overall, whatever audience this reaches is silent. Will that change some day? I would hope so. If I am to do what I came to do, I have to find a way to connect to like-minded others. Right now, I believe this to be in the cards. However, I do not yet know when. Until then, I do what I am moved to do. I do what I can on my own, though spirit guides my every step. That doesn't mean that I won't stumble and even fall on occasion. When one operates in the realms of the unknowns of consciousness such things can happen. However, we can always pick ourselves up and continue on. We learn from our stumbles and our falls and we move on to ever greater expressions of spirit. We are spirit incarnate. It is useful to remember that and to act appropriately. There is so much that we can do. There are so many areas where improvements are needed. All it takes is resources and talent. We have the right resources with the right talents. We're just not applying them to the tasks that need to be done. Part of the problem is that as a society we don't really have control of the resources. We allow the free market to determine where people will spend the bulk of their working time. While our economy is envied by most of the world, it is clearly not the best that it can be. For one thing, there are far too many people that are not served by it. We have the hungry and the homeless, we have the untreated mentally ill. We have far too many people living below the poverty line. All of that equates to needless suffering. There has to be a better way. Part of the problem is that there is no one or no group responsible for ensuring that these things do not happen. We haven't taken it on ourselves to be responsible for one another. We haven't established a contract between the collective and individuals that explicitly spells out who is responsible for what. Until we do this, there will be such people that fall through the cracks of our economic system. Is that fair? My sense is that no, it is not fair. And, I desire to do something about it. Doing something starts with raising the awareness so that people know that there is a problem. It also helps if we have some kind of solution to propose. Mine has been expressed here many times. We establish a social contract between society as a whole and its constituent individuals.

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From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs. It is that simple. Many won't like the fact that it is one of the key tenets of communism. However, it has never been achieved. If it had, we wouldn't see communist economies crumble as we have. Accepting and abiding by this contract is a quantum shift for those of us who have enjoyed the benefits that free enterprise has offered us. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a major step. Extended this to assume responsibility for others as well is a giant leap. But, it is a leap that we need to take. It demands the very best of us. 11 October 2003 Another busy day. But not too busy to keep me from coming here to express. There is not much that can do that, as evidenced by the 90 percent musing rate for the year. Though that means I am missing one day out of every ten. That will mean approximately 330 musings for the year if this continues. At this time, we have no reason to believe that it won't. That will make this year even more productive than last. We have much to show for it. In 2002, we had one Best Passages book. For 2003, we will have three books of roughly the same size. The volume of musings were about the same. We were just moved to share them in a different way. For 2002, we selected the best of what was expressed. For 2003, we elected to publish nearly all of what was expressed. As a result, the books serve different purposes. Best Passages was meant to serve as a flagship. Because of this, we wanted it to include only our best. The 2003 Musings are meant to illustrate the quality and quantity of material that comes forth in one year. At this point I would estimate that that is going to come to 3 books of 600 pages each with 100 pages of best quotes included. That is a lot of material. But spirit is pretty prolific in expressing through me. She fills every moment that I make available to her. Spirit, consciousness, they are one and the same to me. This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, it is freeform. It resists any attempt to plan what will be expressed. That is OK. There is something wonderful about spontaneous spiritual expression. It gives us hope that we can be much more than we ever believed possible. That is true because when we are supported by spirit, we can do far more than we can do alone. In many ways, this is because we are not doing it ... it is spirit doing these things through us. We are engaged in the dance of consciousness. And, what an elaborate dance it is. Yet, it is one that we know innately. It is not so much something we have to learn, rather something that we have to allow happen in our lives. That doesn't mean that it will all be easy. It can be, but it can also be hard work. It is really up to us as to how we will experience it. It helps to be open, allowing and accepting. But, it seems not everyone follows such a path. I know, my particular path is unique. I have encountered others on similar paths but no one on the same path yet. Perhaps that is too much to expect. Perhaps my particular path will always be unique. Then, why am I so moved to share it? Why is all of this captured? There would be no reason to capture it if it were not to be shared somehow. Now, we share it electronically at the Beyond Imagination website and physically in the form of published books. Yet, that does not seem to be enough. It seems that we need to find a way to share ourself as well, as the living vessel through whom this expression comes. That makes me a special being. It seems that few come forth to express in this way. But, what is this expression. I don't consider myself psychic. These musings do not offer specific advice to specific people. What they do capture is a stream of consciousness. In reading this material, you get to ride the stream for awhile. My hope is that you find it to be an adventure in consciousness. It should trigger you to enter into new states of consciousness of your own. It may not do this immediately. But as you follow the stream, it is as if your mental muscles are being stretched so that you can experience and express more of whom that you are. How do I know that the material does this? I only know that it does that for me and I'm the one through whom it came to begin with. I'm curious as to how others will react to this. Until they relate what it does for them, I will not really know. 75

Why am I moved to share this expression in the way that I do? Why is one who effectively exists as a hermit moved to share so much of himself? My only response is because I have something important to share. Or, more correctly, consciousness has something important to share through me. What could be so important that it is worth expending this much of my life on? Then again, what else would I do with my life anyway? This expression is the one thing that I believe will remain long after I am gone. I can hope that will be the case anyway. Though it seems that I will need some sort of organization to be responsible for keeping the information alive and available to those meant to be moved by it. But, that is still in the distant future. My sense is that I have another quarter of a century to live in this incarnation. There is a lot of work that can be done in that amount of time. That's OK. I've never been one to shy away from work, especially spiritual work. I am more than willing to do my fair share, and I know that there is a graduated scale. To whom much is given, much is expected. And, I have been given a whole lot of talents and abilities. In what areas have I achieved mastership? One area is making the inner connection necessary for this expression to manifest. Then again, given how much practice I've had in the past ten years, this should not be a surprise. What else am I good at? I can see things holistically ... see how the parts fit together to form a whole and see the synergy that results. Much of this has been fortified by my systems engineering work. It allows me to train my mind to think in ways that most people don't think in. What would I do with what I know? I would share it with the world. I would apply it toward building the foundations for a new world. Big goals ... big dreams. But, everything that I know says that they are achievable. If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big. Who knows, you just may achieve what you set out to do. It is amazing how the universe works. When we declare our intentions with all of our heart and soul, an army of helpers comes to our aid. What would we create next? Obviously, we are still musing. And, we are working on Beyond Mind and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. But, what else would we do? Nothing so far deals with interacting with people. Is this not the key thing missing from my life? Or, is it simply that such is not meant to be an active part of my life? That is an interesting question. Are relationships missing or are they simply not meant to be for me? My hope is that the former is true. I long to have others to interact with, to bounce ideas off of, to work together on joint endeavors, and just to be friends. I haven't had many friends to date. Actually, I would be hard pressed to identify any. But, I have a pretty stringent definition of friendship. I expect a lot, but I am willing to give a lot. That should be obvious from what is expressed here. Though, this is only an example of the kinds of things that I would expect friends to share. Do I really expect anyone to keep up with all of this? Yes, I do. Fortunately, reading the expression is a lot faster process than generating it. The generation continues to occur at the rate of about one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. I try to express three hours per day but not all of that goes into musings. At this point in time, I believe this is sufficient. Especially since it is a voluntary endeavor that I do on my own with spirits assistance. I don't know what I would do if the stream of consciousness would become silent. It is one thing for my mind to be silent. In fact, it is often silent. It has been this way since the awakenings began in 1993. It is as if my mind had to become blank for spirit to be able to come through. It is interesting that I start each day's musing with a blank page. OK, a nearly blank page, the beginning and the ending are inherited and are the same from day to day with the exception of the date. All of the content is deleted, however and I start from scratch expressing what consciousness would have me express. I trust that consciousness is organizing what is coming forth. And, from what I can tell it is not repetitive. I don't really have an explanation for how this can happen. Since I'm not consciously organizing it, it is out of my hands and my awareness. How long can this continue? How long can we go on expressing in this manner? I don't really know. It does not appear that we've come close to reaching any limits of consciousness. It seems that so long as we volunteer to come here ... she joins us and expresses. How do I know this is not me expressing? It could very well be a part of me. But, whether it is or not, I am not consciously aware of being the originator of all of this. I see it expressed through my fingers and appear on the screen of my computer, but simply because it comes through me doesn't mean that I originate it. It all depends on how you consider source. If source is indeed a part of me, then I do create this, albeit not in a manner that I am consciously aware of. However, if source is a connection to 76

something greater than me ... then this does indeed come from something external to me. Even with ten years of expression, I do not know which of these alternatives is correct. Neither does it matter. Regardless, the expression comes forth. What matters is its utility. Who does it serve and how does it serve them? This is one question that we should ask often. For all the work we do, this question applies. If it doesn't serve anyone, then why are we doing it? If it doesn't serve anyone, we are wasting our time. In evaluating our endeavors, we need to make sure that we consider all those who are impacted. Sometimes it is not obvious who benefits from something. However, if we think about it and give our intuition voice, we will see who is served and who is not served. There is also the potential that some might be harmed by what we do. We need to tread very lightly in such areas and try to mitigate the harm as much as we can. Life is the expression of consciousness to me. If I am not expressing, I am not truly living. However, there are many ways to express. Mine just happens to be writing. And, do I write. But what good is the written word without an audience to read it? And, where do I find such an audience. There is a sense that this is destined somehow. Those who are meant to encounter this expression will find it somehow. Yes, I need to do what I can to facilitate that. But, there is only so much that I can do. At some point, the universe needs to kick in and help. Have I reached that point? Have I done what I can do? There is still a sense that while I've done a lot, I am just getting started.

12 October 2003 We're getting a late start tonight, so this will be a shorter than normal musing. Then again, who knows, I could get carried away and write long into the night. At this point I doubt that however. The need to arise for work in the morning demands that I get to sleep at a decent hour. But I did rest for a couple of hours earlier today. I was able to swim all three days this weekend. I typically don't go in unless the water temperature is above 85, and preferably closer to 88. The solar system is able to keep it that warm from May to October ... nearly six months. I love the water. Swimming laps is much more fun than any other exercise that I've encountered. And, it is time to start eating better and doing more exercise. That takes away from my time here. But, it may relieve some of the tiredness that I've been feeling. What would we express tonight? As usual, I don't really know. I come here because I am moved to come here. I know that if I come, consciousness will join me and we will express something. Sometimes it is grand. Sometimes it is more ordinary. But always the expression comes forth. What makes me feel that this expression is worthy of being shared and is worthy of being published? I don't know. I just do what I am moved to do. Right now, that is to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth and to do what I can to get it in the hands of those it may be able to help. But, who can it help and how? It can help those who are in the midst of expanding their consciousness. It does this by providing an example of consciousness in expression. Will this example be the same as how you might express? Probably not. However, it should trigger you to enter altered states of your own. That is my hope anyway. That is what makes it worthwhile. Knowing that all of this has come forth through me gives me a great sense of accomplishment. We need to live our lives in such a manner that if we were to depart on any given day, there would be a sense of completeness about our life to that point. With this expression I have that. I have something tangible that is proof that I existed, created something, and hopefully contributed to society and the world. That does not mean I am planning to depart anytime soon. My latest estimate is that I'll be around through 2024-2028 or so. That is so far in the distance that it means little at this point other than the fact that I have roughly 2.5 times the length of the current expression to finish out my life. If I continue to express as I have, that should easily put me past the 10 million word mark. That is a lot to express in a lifetime. Do we need that much volume? Or, should we step back and focus on quality of expression. Actually, I believe both are there in our current works. 77

Consciousness is illusive. She comes and goes as she will. She will not be bound or restricted. At least, such is how she expresses in my life. I don't interact with others enough to know whether their experience is similar or not. Nor does it really matter. Each of us experience exactly what we need to experience. Sometimes this is like what others experience. But, it is perfectly OK if it is not. We are allowed our unique experiences. It would be very boring if we were all the same. Life is about varieties of experience. Human life is primarily differentiated by consciousness. We are aware of being alive. Some of us are aware of being aware ... though this seems to take an awakening. Not everyone experiences being the observer in their life. That is one of the benefits of this expression. The challenge for the reader is to realize who could have expressed all of this? What does it say about the nature of consciousness that all of this was expressed in the manner that it was? What does it say about me that I was moved to allow all of this to come forth? The expression exists. There is no denying that. You may have your own theories about how it originated. I've told you mine. It comes from a source inside of me. I type whatever it says in my head. I don't hear a voice per se. But the words just appear in my mind. How is this possible? That is a mystery. And, perhaps it will always be a mystery. There is nothing wrong with that. Life itself is a mystery ... it is meant to have mysteries. That is part of its attraction. We live in a miraculous realm, we truly do. It is important for us to see that ... really see that. Otherwise, we miss out on some of the most special moments and experiences in life. This expression is by far the most important part of my life. In some respects, that is a sad state of affairs. It suggests that I am not fully living my life. Clearly, I am not engaged sufficiently with others to create meaningful and rewarding relationships. However, maybe ... just maybe ... this is what I am meant to be doing with my life. I might be able to buy that if I were experiencing more happiness in my life. But, while I am productive, both at work and in my spiritual endeavors ... I would not say that I am happy much of the time. What would it take to Be Happy? The is a popular song that addresses this ... it talks about not having the things that you want, but rather wanting the things that you have. That is a profound distinction. It is interesting that it would be part of a popular song. Yet, how many people that hear this song have really heard and contemplated this particular point? However, even if people are not consciously aware, they are subconsciously aware. These words have entered into the mass consciousness.

13 October 2003 We did make our suggested minimum quota of words for yesterday, though not by much. Let's see if we can fare better today. I was going to say it’s all in spirits hands. But, that is not quite correct. I have to be available and choose to expend the time and effort that allows this expression to manifest. If I only have an hour and a half to give, I'm only going to make the 1000 word mark. I need two and a half to three hours to make it to 2000 words. That is a major investment to give to doing anything ... especially when it is a daily investment seven days of the week. However, that is what I am moved to do. This expression is that important to me. And, it seems, that important to consciousness. I would not be moved so strongly to do this if there were not something larger at stake. This endeavor is important. It is important to me and it is important to consciousness. What will happen as a result of it remains to be seen. I know that people are visiting the Beyond Imagination site. I would hope that means that they are being exposed to the Beyond Imagination material and that they find it of value in some way. I can't tell how much information from the site is being accessed or how it is impacting anyone. Here, I need feedback. If you are accessing the site and finding it of value ... please let me know. Also, if there are any suggested improvements in how the site is organized or the material therein, please let me know that as well. I don't know if I'll be able to fix things, but I'm open to trying. This site is meant to serve you. If it is not doing that, I want to know. One way or another, please make the effort to provide feedback.

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This site is also meant to serve me. I need a regular outlet wherein I can express all that is bottled up inside of me. This expression serves as that outlet. Here I am free to express whatever consciousness would express through me. And, that is a lot. But, that is not enough. It seems that I need a role on the stage of the world as well. I have a role to play, a mission to perform. I will not let anyone or anything get in the way of doing what I came to this planet to do. That includes myself. Hmm ... that was an interesting addition. But, it is true. Sometimes the toughest obstacle that we have to face is our own self and its beliefs. There is a sense that I am a device with limited storage ability. When I open the channel and allow the information to flow forth, it does so. But when I am not writing it is as if the dam is blocked and I am unable to express. I write often, but I rarely speak. This is partially because I am not in the presence of others very much. However, that seems to be no more than an excuse. If I truly desired for this to change, it would change. The very fact that it is not changing suggests that I do not really want it to, or do not believe that it can change. For things to happen in our life, we have to believe that they are possible and we have to believe that we are deserving of them. This later point is extremely important. We will not allow ourselves to receive anything more than we believe that we are worth. This is one of the fundamental spiritual laws of economics. We really need to believe that we deserve what we want. Further, that deserving needs to be based on something solid ... some service that we are providing that is worth more than what we desire. There needs to be a positive exchange of energy here. We need to be giving more than we receive. We do that by being all that we can be and doing what we are moved by spirit to do. What more can I say? It seems that there is a lot. At what point will I start repeating myself and become redundant? Perhaps at any time, but perhaps never. Consciousness seems to be unlimited in this area. So long as she is willing to come through in this manner, I feel it is my duty to give her a voice through which to speak. Yes, it is an active voice. Yes, I am an inseparable part of the process. However, that doesn't mean that I can claim this expression as my own ... at least not wholly my own. Yet, at the same time it does not belong to anyone else that is physically incarnate. Hmm ... I guess that really does make it mine after all. We have no means of assigning ownership to spirit herself. It is through us that spirit expresses and experiences life in physical form. She has no need for the possessions of this world. But, there is nothing wrong with us reaching any particular level of abundance that we choose. We need to be careful though. It seems that to those that have, more shall be given. There is a phrase to this effect in the Bible if memory serves me. The meaning was veiled until a moment ago. I realized that along with having must come the appreciation of what we have. Unless we are grateful for it, we don't really have it. That is, it doesn't hold a place in our hearts. Gratitude is a very important attitude. It is important that we realize this and apply it ... thanking spirit regularly for all that we have in our lives, and even for the gift of being alive. Yes, life is a very precious gift. It is not something to be squandered. It is the gift that needs to keep on giving in order to stay alive and to manifest abundantly. Beyond Imagination has work to do. Right now, I am still the only resource committed to doing that work. I must do it because I believe it to be my spiritual mission. At this point, it is still not clear as to the degree that others will be involved. I would hope that this would be extensive at least for some others. But, I won't know for sure until it happens. It is not clear how I will find them, or even if they exist. Then again, perhaps destiny will have them find me. I am leaving the appropriate markers and making attempts to reach out. Perhaps these are not of such a nature as someone more outgoing might attempt, but we do what we can. I must be true to whom that I AM. At the same time I need to be careful not to accept limitations that are not rightly mine. All limitations are self-imposed. It is for us to choose the limitations that we are willing to live with. We can always choose to overcome these and become more free at any time. However, this requires awareness. If we are not aware that we are imprisoned and enchained, we have no sense that we need to work to remove the shackles that bind us. Yet, all of us have our shackles ... some more than others. Most are content with living within them. In fact, many bear them gladly, unaware that they are shackles at all. However, being unaware doesn't change the nature of what is. It does, however, change our experience. And, it is our experience that ultimately counts. 79

Hmm ... do organizations experience reality in a similar fashion? Are they bound by shackles as well? Is there anything that we can do individually or collectively to free them? This is an interesting line of questioning. My sense is that there are indeed things that we can do. We have the power to create far more potent organizations that we have created to date. It takes work however. It does not simply happen. The very nature of organizations is that they involve groups of people. It will be interesting to see what organizations I choose to become a part of. I have not been much of a joiner in my life to date. Even in the few cases where I have joined organizations it was as an isolated individual. In most cases, I never met more than a handful of the members in the group. In some cases, I never met anyone associated with the organization. Yes, I have lived a pretty isolated existence. However, that has allowed me to develop in the way that I have. That has given me a different perspective on life than most people have. That has enabled me to breakthrough to new levels of awareness, some of which allow this very expression to come forth. I spent the first 35 years of my life in near silence. From age 15 on, I have been a major metaphysical information consumer. At 35, something switched inside of me and I became a metaphysical information generator. At 43-44, something switched again and I started musing nearly daily. It is curious that started on 1 January 2002. It was definitely unexpected. But, of all days ... to start on the first day of a year was particularly interesting. It definitely makes it seem like the timing was planned. I'm sure that it was, it just wasn't me doing the planning. And here we are midway through the 22nd month already. It will be interesting to see how long this continues. I have no prior experience that helps to answer this. It will continue so long as it continues. We won't know how long that is until it stops ... assuming that it will ever stop. This could very well be a phase of my life that lasts for the rest of my life. Though, there is a sense that the expression will evolve as time goes on. Exactly how this will evolve will unfold over time. I can live with that. I can wait and see. What matters in the moment is what we do here and now. Ultimately, the moment is where we have power. It is the only place where we can do anything. And, it is in the doing of things that we effect change in the world. This is the only place where we can make a difference. Our life is meant to make a difference. But, it will only do so if we make it do so. That means we have to be more than a spectator. We have to do things. We have to share of whom that we are. My way of doing this is primarily via this expression. But I am open for this to change. I am open to interacting with others to achieve common goals and objectives. I don't know how I'm going to find these others ... but if it is meant to be it will be. Yes, I am resigned to the idea that I have a fate that I cannot escape. Not that I would want to even if I could. From what I have experienced, I am grateful for what spirit has in store for me. Yes, I could be more happy. However, there is something about being dissatisfied that pushes you to look for more. I relate strongly to the 48:Eight of Cups card in the Tarot. This is the Man in Search of More. No matter how far I go, no matter what I find, no matter what I experience, no matter what I become, I always know that there is more. There is always a feeling that I am incomplete somehow ... and that I will always be so while I am incarnate. What it takes to complete me is not of this world. How can I know this? It is just obvious to me. That doesn't mean that I don't have my moments of oneness with all that is. It would be nice if these were more frequent. Perhaps they will be in time. However, it seems that I need something to help motivate me to apply myself to do more and to be all that I can be.

14 October 2003 Once again we return to the blank slate to write what would be written today. There is something special about being able to do this, about knowing that consciousness is there to come forth to fill the pages as she will. We've had a lot of practice doing this over the past ten and a half years. Though, in other ways, it seems that we are only beginning. There is so much that can be expressed. However, time is a limiting factor. We can only generate so many words per hour. This has remained fairly constant since the expression began. One might think that this would improve over time, but I have not experienced this. 80

The generation rate has remained at roughly one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. That's approximately 700 words per hour or 12 words per minute. That is not a fast typing rate. Nor is it a fast speaking rate. But it is a comfortable rate for expression. Interesting. I haven't thought about it like this before. I can probably type at two to three times this speed. However, there is a limiting factor that is coming into play that is my conscious ability to receive this stream of consciousness expression. That is OK. It is what it is. And, there doesn't seem to be anyone out there voraciously consuming the millions of words that have already been generated. Perhaps this will occur someday, perhaps it will not. Either way, I have accomplished what I was moved to do. That is ultimately what matters. We are to be the instruments through which spirit expresses. What happens after that is in spirits hands. That doesn't mean that we don't have to do our parts. But, we can trust that we will be moved to do these when the time is right. Everything in our lives is the expression of spirit in flesh. There is nothing else to express. Though, many people may not consider what they do "spiritual". However, it is all "spiritual" ... there is nothing else that can express. We are still moved to come here to express, as if by a force that we cannot resist. However, this is a choice ... this is a force that we choose not to resist. I am in command and responsible for all that I do ... and further for things that I could have done but did not do. Yes, this is a greater sense of responsibility than many are willing to accept. However, responsibility can be a very good thing. It can give us power in that area of our lives ... in some cases, great power. By having responsibility, we control what gets done in that area. That is a major plus. However, the cost of doing this is that we must give up blaming others, society, or circumstances for whatever we are experiencing. Being responsible means that the buck stops here as the saying goes. Any blame gets levied on ourselves. Though any credit gets levied there as well. We are responsible for all that we experience. We choose it all. No fine print, no exceptions. What would I create in the world? What do I choose to experience? How would I change what is expressed through me? These are all important questions. I would create the foundations for a new world. But what does that mean in practical terms? How are such foundations manifest? It seems that someone has to have the foresight to dream of what could be and then take practical steps to express this and to manifest it. As to choosing to experience ... obviously I am comfortable with my life. Though the isolation and the remoteness remains difficult to take. I desire to share whom that I am much more than I have. How could I share more than I share here? It seems that it is not a matter of more, rather it is a matter of with whom. Right now, this seems up to the universe to determine. My attempts to select who this might be have been dismal failures. However, past results are no indication of future performance. Perhaps it is time to try again. It could simply have been a matter of poor timing. I do what I am moved to do. Spirit is an active force, a guiding force in my life. I would have it no other way. How is it that I'm so fortunate as to have spirit express through me in this way? It just seems to be in the cards for me in this existence. When I am expressing like this, I know that I am living up to my potential, I am doing the very things that I am meant to do. These are the things for which I incarnated this time around. How can I know that? Knowing is not something that is to be questioned. Some things you just know. It is not important how it happens, only that it happens. However, we need to be careful to distinguish what we know from what we believe from what we think. These are very different levels of operating. We can think a lot of things that we don't really believe and we can believe a lot of things that we don't really know. Further, if we truly know something, there is no room for belief ... it is already truth for us. That doesn't mean that we can't be confused and believe that we know things that are not true. In fact, if we are honest, we will find that much of our lives are lived in such a state. There is much that is unknown, and even unknowable. Some people are good at ignoring this. They are perfectly happy living their lives within set bounds. However, those of us that are explorers of consciousness do not have this luxury. We have decided that it is our place to venture into the unknown realms and then come back to share of what we find. To a large degree, that is what I do here. What purpose does it serve? The same purpose that all exploration has. Whether it is territory, or ideas, or realms of consciousness ... the unknown always offers 81

its riches. It is but for us to find practical ways to use what we find. This too is a matter of searching. But, we will find what we seek provided we are sincere in our seeking. I would live a life of spirit. I would do as spirit moves me to do. I would express as spirit moves me to express. I would be as spirit moves me to be. That's a lot of faith to place in spirit. But, where else would I place such faith? Spirit has been the one constant that I could count on throughout my life, especially from age 16 on, and particularly since age 35 (1993). How can I account for this? I don't need to. The fact that I have experienced it is sufficient. It is not important that I be able to explain it ... only that I accept it for what it is. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance are very important in life. Some people exhibit various combinations of these to some degree, but few have them all to a high degree. That is the goal. That is the state that we are attempting to achieve ... high awareness, high allowance, and high acceptance. The middle one, high allowance, is one of the hardest to achieve. We need to allow people to be whom that they are ... whatever that is. It helps if we believe that in general, people are doing the best that they can given their abilities and the circumstances that they find themselves within. In general, people want to do good. They want to do the right things. They just may not know what this is at times. To some degree, we are all living lives of spirit. We are all spiritual beings at heart in the midst of a physical experience. However, too many focus on being physical and lose sight of their ultimate nature. This can be corrected ... but it takes a collective awakening. It is not clear that we've really had one of these yet, though the Renaissance came very close. We need something that allows the spirit within each of us to be ignited and to shine more brightly. We need to be careful not to burn people out in the process, however. There is a very real risk of this. It still amazes me that all of this could come through as it does. What does it say about consciousness that the material flows as it does? What does it say about the other than conscious organizational abilities within us? If I can do this day in and day out ... what can you do with your life? What can you do to express whom that you are and to allow spirit to express through you? No, it may not be through writing as I do here. But, there is something creative that you can do that can serve or benefit others. It is up to you to find out what that is and do it. Do it so long as you are moved to do it. Do it because it allows you to express whom that you are as nothing else does. Do it because it brings you fulfillment and happiness. Just do it! Trust that if you are open and listen to the communication from the source within, it will guide you and move you to carry out the mission that is yours to do. Each of us has such a mission. Some it seems have many such missions. However, whatever yours is is right for you. You selected it after all. And, you created the specific form that you are as the particular vessel through which to accomplish your mission(s). No, you didn't necessarily make it easy. Usually, it involves challenges of various types. But, it seems that some have it much easier than others. We need challenges to temper us and allow us to find out what we are really made of. However, too much is too much. And, it seems that collectively we have allowed things to become too much for a sizeable number of individuals.

15 October 2003 Namaste! It is difficult to decide where to begin. I got involved in metaphysics with the philosophy of Plato, Pirzig's book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a book on Transcendental Meditation and the Art of Being by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the Seth Books by Jane Roberts all during the my 16th year. That was 30 years ago ... and it has been a love affair ever since. This study has commanded my attention and much of my free time since then. 10 years ago, I experienced a breakpoint, a major shift in awareness and started generating metaphysical information rather than only consume it. Since 1 January 2002, I have been expressing nearly daily for two to three hours per day. What can I say? I am compelled to express, and I choose to allow the stream of consciousness to come forth in whatever manner it will. 82

What is metaphysics? To me it is the study of the nature of consciousness, the nature of being, the nature of reality, the nature of spirit, and how all of these manifest in our lives. These are very big things. However, they are things that each of us experience each day ... even though most people don't really think about them. We typically leave such topics to our philosophers to contemplate. But that is not necessary or even desirable. These things have real meaning in our day to day lives. Understanding them can help us lead better lives and find our place in the larger scheme of things. The one thing that most characterizes consciousness is awareness. What are we aware of ourselves to be? There is an observer part to our consciousness that watches everything that we do. It doesn't necessarily judge. It simply observes. Since my shift in awareness in 1993, I have been aware of this observer part of myself during most of my waking hours. Even as I type this, I am aware of watching my fingers on the keyboard at the same time I'm observing the screen at the same time I'm observing the frame of my glasses and the things that are both within and outside of that frame. I'm also aware of the working of my mind as it accepts and formulates these words. The source is somewhere deep inside me. It is an intuitive source that is somehow connected to spirit or the one consciousness. I believe that everyone is connected to and part of this same one consciousness. Know Thyself! This is one of the key directives I've followed for over 2/3rds of my 45 years. I believe I've been successful in this pursuit. However, much of the success comes from being open to new things and being willing to try them and judge them based on their utility. I've used a variety of techniques in this pursuit ... astrology, aura readings, enneagrams, IQ tests, numerology, psychic readings, tarot to name a few. Of these, most were helpful in confirming things that I already knew about myself. But the confirmation was helpful in its own right. Numerology and the tarot have been most useful in revealing spiritual meaning in the ordinary symbol systems of the world. Astrology has been useful in revealing the timing for major spiritual events. I generated the above as an introduction to a talk on Metaphysics and Wayne's World that I am going to give to members of the Human Development Club at work. Not wanting to lose anything, I thought I'd capture it here as well since it is basically the same stream of consciousness in expression, just for a slightly different purpose. Besides, it addresses a few things that we haven't talked about for some time. I really was hit by metaphysics on at least four fronts at the same time in my 16th year. And, it was definitely as if fireworks were going off in my brain. What I was reading made sense, at least intellectually ... and I was living primarily in my mind at that time. Actually from that time until close to my 35th birthday when the Beyond Mind experiences began and Beyond Imagination was given birth. From that point on, I was a spiritual being in expression using my mind as a tool for doing my work. It no longer mattered much what my mind thought. What became important was consciousness and my spiritual awareness. These have remained of primary importance to this very day ... and they will probably always be so. That is to be expected, at least for me. My very nature is spiritual. It is revealed in my aura, my numbers, my astrological charts, and my abilities, interests, and talents. Everything is focused on doing what I can do to help build the foundations that allow spirit to express more fully in flesh. That is a big job. I know that. But, someone or some group has to do it. For one reason or another, I have accepted it as my task to do. I have known for a long time that I came into this existence to perform a particular mission ... and that when this is done, my life will be over and I will move on the the next adventure in consciousness. I think it was Richard Bach in Illusions that said some to the effect: Here's the test for knowing if your life mission is accomplished. If you are still alive, it isn't.

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That is quite appropriate. That is the only way to know when we have done enough. However, we all have different missions in life. These are not to be compared to one another. There is no greater and no lesser. There is only what you personally came to do, both individually and in the context of society. We execute this most effectively when we learn to connect with the spirit within us and choose to do what she moves us to do. This doesn't happen automatically ... at least not for the vast majority. It takes self-work to establish the inner connection. And then it takes courage to be all that we can be while executing what spirit would more us to do. Yes, it takes courage to live a life of spirit. Perhaps that is part of the reason I call this particular expression the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. Yet, it seems that our major battle is with the self and its ways of perceiving the world. It is not clear that this battle ever ends. It is the constant challenge of being an aware spiritual being. It is difficult keeping the ego in check through all of this. There is a natural tendency towards grandiosity. For me, my bipolar condition is responsible for some of this. But, at some level, I chose this very condition and the mental states that it brings. I don't really know how this relates to others. Though, I sense that there is some utility in sharing of myself in this way ... if only to provide an example of what can be. In this case, it happens to be a verbose example with several millions of words expressed. So, what am I moved to do next? I'm still here, engaged in this expression. But, I long for more interaction and sharing on a deeper level. What can I do to facilitate this? The basic answer is the same: to be all that I can be and to do what I am moved to do. At least we're consistent. Though consistency is not necessarily a positive thing. I still live very much in the moment. The more we do this, the more power we can exert ... because the moment is the only place that we can take action, and it is action that creates change. It is action that makes a difference in our lives. It is service that makes a difference in our world. Ultimately, making a positive difference is what really matters. The bigger the difference the better. The world should be a better place for our having lived. But, it will only be so if we do what it takes to make it so. We have to want to make a difference. We have to believe that we can make a difference. And, we have to do what it takes to make that difference. One way to make a difference is to help those in need who ask for our help. There is a reason that they are asking, and in particular asking us. Where we can we need to answer this call. Though how we help is up to us. One of my sisters called this evening needing my help financially. She was in trouble and needed a little money. She doesn't ask very often and then asks only for what she really needs so I don't mind helping her. She has had a very difficult life. The bipolar condition started for her in her early teens and wasn't diagnosed for over 15 years. That resulted in an extreme roller coaster ride for her emotionally. I've been far more fortunate in my life. For this I am grateful. My experience with bipolar has been a spiritual one. I don't speak much of my family, or any others for the most part. Primarily, that is because I have effectively isolated myself from others in the world ... with the exception of casual interactions. What I know is my own experience. This is what I can share, and I try to share it fully. Whether it comes across that way is for you to determine. Does what I express impact you or empower you in some way? That is what really matters. I can't believe that consciousness is expressing all of this solely for me. Yes, I'm special ... but, not that special. Sharing is how we make a difference in each others life. I like to think that with this expression I share of whom that I AM in an intimate way. Then, what do I know of intimacy? I do know that in all of my reading, I have never encountered material like what is expressed here. Then again, that could be said for the expressions of others that have impacted my life greatly ... such as Jane Roberts and the Seth books and Neale Donald Walsch and the Conversations with God books. I can't point to anything that I read that caused my awakening in 1993. It seemed to be triggered by other forces at play in my life. All of a sudden, my consciousness started to stretch beyond itself. Astrological signs indicated that major spiritual forces were at work. Neptune and Uranus were conjunct and square to 84

my Natal Sun. That's two outer planets in the strongest transit (conjunct) in one of the strongest triggering aspects to the planet of the self (Sun). The cosmic egg simply had to crack. And, that it did ... wide open in fact. I was left with a radical discontinuity in my experience of whom that I AM. Suddenly, I became aware of being more than I dreamed that I was before. And, this awareness colored everything that I experienced. Then, there was this stream of consciousness expression to deal with as well. Words were flowing forth from me. Things were stated that I had no right to know based on any experiences that I was aware of to date. Yet, I simply knew them. I experienced a major beliefquake that rocked and undermined the foundations of my belief system. I had to start anew and discover what worked. How many others have had such experiences? I have no way of knowing. My sense is that it is still very rare, but that it is on the increase. The Aquarian Age is a time of increased conscious expression of spirit in flesh. Does that mean that everyone will mend their ways and conform with the new energy being expressed? It is not that simple. It is not clear how we get rid of the criminal element and those who would do harm to others. Yet, somehow this is what we need to do. Catching criminals and putting them in jail doesn't seem to be an effective way of dealing with the problem. However, I have no alternatives to suggest at the moment. There must be better ways to rehabilitate criminals. The answer seems to be in finding some what to increase their spiritual awareness. We need to induce an awakening experience that results in the criminal not choosing to harm anymore.

16 October 2003 We're doing good for the month. This makes 16 musings in 16 days. That is not a large streak compared with some that we have had, but it is a decent streak nonetheless. We've been averaging one missed musing every ten days, but often they come in close proximity. That is OK. There is plenty of opportunity to express what must be expressed. And, what cannot be expressed by us will be expressed by others. For, the expression of spirit in flesh is what life is all about. We are integral parts of the evolution of that expression. It is through us that spirit speaks and does her work in the world. Our hands are her hands, our eyes are her eyes, our mind is her mind. We are spirit enfleshed here and now. We have always been and will always be. That applies to all of us. It is all spirit. There is nothing but spirit in expression. If that is so, then how do we explain all the bad, all the ugliness, all the violence and evil that is expressed in the world? One doesn't need to look far to find it. It seems that it is everywhere. And, in many respects it is. But there are shining pockets of hope ... places untouched by all of this. They are there because we create them to be. We are creating the very world in which we exist. However, blinders will not necessarily work to remove those elements that we do not want to see. They may for awhile ... but ultimately we must institute changes for those things that we no longer desire to manifest in our world. As a society, we are not really used to doing this. One reason for this is that we still behave as individuals loosely grouped into a collective. This looseness limits our ability to manifest our collective will ... and hopefully goodwill. Complex systems operate somewhere on the continuum between order and chaos. Too much order and there is insufficient ability to adapt to changes. Too much chaos, as there is not enough structure to give form to our manifestations. Life itself is a complex system that exists on this continuum. However, there is an operating range wherein spirit can express physically. Some prefer more order and some more chaos in their lives. This should be a lifestyle choice. We have the same choice to make for our organizations ... only it is a collective rather than an individual choice. How do we hold our organizations accountable for what they do and in some cases do not do? Ultimately the organization is a collective expression of individuals. To what degree are which individuals within the organization held accountable for their decisions and the results of those decisions? Often, it is not the decision itself that is the problem ... it is the impacts of the decision on others. So, where is this leading? What organizations would I choose to belong to? What organizations are out there to belong to? What organizations are focused on creating a new world? How does one find out about these organizations? 85

How does one get an invitation to join? I believe that there are still secret societies out there who select their prospective members carefully. How does one get on the list as a viable candidate? From their works shall thou know them. To date, our "works" are mere words shared at a web site and organized into books. That is important, but that is not enough. We need to do things and create things in accord with these words. We are beginning to do that. It is a slow process, but in the end we will succeed. The fate of the world lies in our hands. Yes, it is grandiose of me to believe that. But if we are going to make a difference in the world, we need to take responsibility and do it. Why me? Why not me? Who else is standing up volunteering to take this on? Surely, there are others who are meant to join me in this endeavor. It is a matter of finding the works that they are doing and recognizing them to be other players on the same team. There is a sense that I have done about as much as I can effectively do on my own. It is time to engage others. I know that. It is just not clear how to implement it in my life yet. Other than having volunteers step forward, I'm not sure what it is that I can do to identify those I am meant to work with. Yes, I believe this is destined and will happen at the right time with the right people. Life unfolds miraculously before us. Spirit animates all life. We all live in a spiritual world. That world is embedded in the symbol systems that permeate the physical world and our knowledge about that world. Often symbol systems operate on multiple levels. The most important meanings are often hidden ... and may not be related at all to the common meaning. The symbol systems that I have found most useful are those used in various intuitive arts and sciences. It is the disciplines that employ the intuition that seem to be closest to the spiritual. This is not surprising since the intuition is our connection to our source ... the spirit within us. It is amazing to see how much specific information about us is contained in these information systems. One just needs to learn the appropriate spiritual languages or hire the services of those who have learned them. Numbers are still highly important in my life 88 and 888.88 were prominent today. I look at 8 as the "as above, so below" symbol. 88 is "infinity above, infinity below". Five 8's in sequence is quite rare. Actually, it is not just 8's. Quintuples and even quadruples are rare. When such numbers enter my awareness, I take notice and start to look harder for thinks of significance to enter into my world. This truly is Wayne's World. I would guess that it is unlike any other. That doesn't mean it is more correct or better in any way. It is what it is. It is what I happen to experience ... what the greater I the I AM happens to create. I look out into this world and see my reflection looking back at me. All of this is what I have outpictured in some way. There are many parts of the consensus world that have no corresponding place in Wayne's World. As such, they simply receive no energy and attention. This is a choice that I make. Wherever we invest our attention and energy, our world grows. Our beliefs are our primary means of making the choice as to how we will invest ourselves. They determine what we want to see and ultimately what we manifest as our reality. Note the emphasis. I don't believe that there is anything that is the reality. From what I can tell, reality is the subjective phenomenon that an aware being experiences. There is no objective reality. That is why science doesn't ultimately lead us to spiritual truth. That does not mean that it doesn't have it's place. Science and its cousin Technology have allowed us to create many wonders in our world and come to an understanding of many things. However, it will never be able to tell us the meaning of life, or the purpose of any individual life. For this we must appeal to other domains and other disciplines. These may not be as rigorous. In fact, they may be downright fuzzy in comparison. That doesn't matter, they are what they are and they are sufficient to accomplish their purpose. I am a sort of jack of all trades if you will with an extensive formal education in math, science, and engineering; and an extensive informal training in metaphysics. Both have been important in my life. But, I can't imagine living without the later in my life. Metaphysics is that important to whom that I AM. It is that part of my education that allows this expression to come forth as it does. The quantity and quality of the expression continue to blow me away. I look back at everything that has been expressed and just can't believe it. How could all of this come forth through me? What does it say about the nature of the Self, the nature of consciousness, and how spirit expresses in flesh?

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The words continue to pour forth. Where they come from ... I only know as source. They do not feel like they come from me, rather they come through me. That feeling has been consistent throughout the past decade. If these words are from me ... then there are knowledgeable parts of us that we know only by their works. Is that really any different than other parts of us? Do we really know how our eyes see or how our ears hear or how our mind thinks, or how our intuition intuits? Do we know how consciousness expresses in us? Do we know what constitutes awareness? Do we know how spirit touches us and infuses us with life? My understanding is that we know very little about any of this. Even with all that I have experienced and expressed, I personally know very little ... and the vast majority know much less. Yet a good number of us are able to lead fruitful and fulfilling lives anyway. I don't know that I count myself in this number yet. It seems that I need to reach a point where I am more happy to be able to place myself in such a category. What does it take to be fulfilled and happy? Living the life that you are meant to live. Hmm ... that is an interesting answer. We will know when we are doing what we are meant to do by noting how happy we are when doing it. That puts this expression right at the top. Here is where I truly live. Here is where I get to express whom that I AM. But what good does it do if there is no one to share it? Actually, there is a one-way sharing that is occurring. It just seems it would be much more effective as a two-way exchange. One way or another, it seems that we will know soon enough. I have a strong sense that major changes are in store for my life. Is this wishful thinking ... or is this based on something real? I guess we will know if it happens. That is the ultimate test of everything. What would I manifest in my life? I could be more abundant. Though, I have more abundance in my life already than most experience. It seems that I should be more thankful for and appreciative of what I already have in my life. How can we think about being deserving of more if we aren't grateful for what we have? There is always something to be grateful for. Most of us will find that there is much to be grateful for, far more than we had thought. Just being alive is a miracle. Being healthy is another. Living in a free country is another. Having the opportunity to be whom we choose to be is another. Enjoying the fruits of a free enterprise economy is another. There are so many things to be grateful for. The bottom line is what we believe that we deserve. This is the limiting factor in what we manifest for ourselves. We are constantly creating what we believe that we deserve in our life. If we don't like what we are experiencing, that is where we need to work ... with our beliefs about what we deserve. In doing so, we need to be kind to ourselves and avoid beating ourselves up. We also need to refrain from accepting past patterns as indicators of future experience. We have the power to change these patterns in the moment. And, change them we must if we want to be free from them.

17 October 2003 Once again we come here to express. This is a sanctuary where we are free to express as we will. No, that is not quite right. We express as spirit wills. We allow this stream of consciousness to come forth. We may guide or steer it at times. However, mostly we just allow it to take us wherever it will. We trust that what is expressed has a purpose, has a reason for existence. I know for a fact that it moves me deeply. I share it in the hope that it will move others in a similar manner. This is an example of how consciousness can express if we allow her to do so in our lives. For some, this is a difficult thing to do. It requires letting go and operating out of control to some degree. It requires taking our consciousness to the very edge of what might be considered sane ... and occasionally jumping off and flying. As one diagnosed as bipolar who experiences mania regularly ... this is relatively easy for me. You might even say that it is natural for me. Others might find it far more difficult or challenging. By some accounts, I have to be crazy to believe as I do. Many of my beliefs are far from conventional. In particular, the metaphysics related beliefs. However, that doesn't make them wrong. We are free to believe whatsoever we choose. Ultimately, the true test for beliefs is utility. Do they empower us and help us to lead a better life ... including having a positive impact on all those whom we touch? 87

Man has only been flying physically for close to 100 years. The first flight took place in around 1903. Yet, in consciousness we have been soaring for millennia. No, not the masses. But there have always been avatars to show the way. It is interesting that aviator and avatar are so close to one another. The biggest difference being the "I". Otherwise, they would sound similar. To me, the "I" represents the addition of ego. If we drop the vowels, we get v-t-r as the root for both words. 22-2-9. Isn't that interesting, a span of 13 from 2-9 to 2-22. 9 is the Hermit. 22 is the Master Builder. 2:The High Priestess and the Ray of Love/Wisdom. This is the first time I've been moved to find meaning in this manner. However, there is something in the back of my mind about Sanskrit words being the root consonants. I consider Sanskrit to be a spiritual language ... though I know very little about it. If memory serves me, Hebrew also focuses on the consonants, leaving out the vowels. Where do we go to find the guideposts that others have left in the wilderness of consciousness? I've operated solo for so long that I don't really know. Occasionally I find a book that moves me. However, much of my life now is given to this expression. For the most part, this is a one way exchange ... a flow of information from source through me to the world. Rarely do I get any feedback from others. I solicit and desire feedback. It might help me to adjust what is expressed so that it comes forth even better than it does. Though, I think quite highly of what is expressed and am glad to be able to play a role in its manifestation. I love words, especially words that move us deeply. This expression has many passages that move me deeply. I have every reason to believe that they have the potential to move others in a similar fashion. That is part of what keeps me doing this. There is a sense of importance; a sense that I am doing something that can make a real difference in people's lives ... many people's lives. It seems it is not for me to know how many. Further, the impact of this expression may not even occur within my lifetime. It depends on the readiness of individuals in the world to embrace new wisdom ... to embrace a new set of fundamental principles at the foundations of society. Spirit knows what these fundamental principles are and she will exercise her creativity to ensure that the world gets out in a variety of forms that the variety of people in the world can relate to. There is no one way. There are many paths available to follow. It is for us to find the path(s) that are right for us, or to blaze new ones if necessary. The idea that the impact of my expression may not be felt until after I have departed was a bit disconcerting. I have always felt that I am here to make a difference to the world and that I would see that difference manifest even though I wouldn't be around very long to enjoy the fruits of what I helped to create. I still feel this to be the case ... that I will see a new world manifest in a new age before I depart. Though, the sense is that I need to find more ways to enjoy the process. It needs to be enough that I do what I can do and that I express to the best of my ability. That is all that we can expect from anyone. All that we can do is our best. Though, if we are growing and developing, our best keeps becoming better and better. Why am I so determined to make a difference on a worldwide level? That is a grandiose thing to need to do. Indeed it is. But, I believe that my abilities are such that such grandiosity is deserved in my case. Someone needs to do such grand things. That I recognize that they need to be done and that I have the ability to do them suggest that perhaps they are mine to do. If they are someone else's tasks ... they will step forward to do them as required. At this point in my life I am still focused on what it is that I can do. My expression is still as an individual. Though I desire that it expand to be a group expression. This requires finding kindred spirits that are interest in doing things to create a new world. I need to find them or they need to find me. Somehow we need to find one another. Here, I am somewhat at a loss as to how to do this. At 45, this is not something I've done very much. About 16 years ago, I set out in search of kindred spirits to discuss the Seth material. In fact, I met my wife and an astrologer friend that way. The intent in posting all of the material to the Beyond Imagination site was to help find my spiritual family. I have not really been successful at this. Not that I haven't been trying. I've expressed a lot and posted nearly everything. However, that has resulted in only an occasional communication ... or sometimes brief series of communications. There have been no long lasting relationships that have developed where there is frequent communication. It seems that such is what I am looking for now, either someone or some group to interact with on a regular basis. It would help to have a support group that 88

served as a base from which I could soar further than I can on my own. That is my desire at this point anyway. I realize that being a member of such a group requires a commitment of my time and energy. But, the sense is that the rewards far outweigh the investment. Looking at what has been expressed through me in the past decade, it boggles my mind to think of what might be expressed if we had a group of kindred spirits working together to manifest something. Just think of what we might be able to achieve. Literally, the sky is the limit. So, two things are needed ... to find the members of the group, and to set up an organization that allows them to function effectively together. My experience with groups to date has been quite limited. Occasionally, I work on various teams in my job. However, I have virtually no social life, so my experience outside of work is nearly non-existent. That is OK. That hasn't stopped me from connecting with source and expressing all that I have here. So, where do we go from here? It seems that we continue to be moved to express. Consciousness, it seems, still has much to say through us. We don't know how long that will last ... but it seems that it will continue through the end of the year. There is no reason that I know of that would keep it from continuing into 2004 as well. Though, it seems it is time for a change in focus or a change in format of some type. The new year brings a whole new set of vibrations. 2 x 1002 = 2 x 2 x 501 = 2 x 2 x 3 x 167 = 12 x 167 = the cube with edges of 167. 167 is 33 to 2 = 33 22 a double master number with the Master Teacher and the Master Builder. That seems appropriate for doing something to help build the foundations for a new world. The Master Builder needs to build the spiritual foundations and the Master Teacher needs to educate people to prepare them to live in the new world in the new age.

18 October 2003 One more day. Once again we find our way here to express as has become our habit of late. And, such a nice habit it is ... to be able to bring forth something fresh and new each day. Here we engage in the expression of consciousness. Here, we experience a little more of whom that we are. That is what life is about for us, the expression of spirit in flesh. This stream of consciousness is spirits way of expressing through us. It is important that it is allowed to flow forth. Important to whom? For one, it is important to me. But, my sense is that it is important to others as well, though they be unknown to me. My wife asked today how many books I intended to publish. I responded at least four more that I know of ... perhaps more depending on what I am moved to write. She also asked if I really needed to publish everything that I write. The underlying tone suggested that perhaps some of it was not worthy of going to the trouble to publish it. After all, how many book sales have I had. I only know of three for certain. We won't know if there were more and how many there were until we see the royalty statements from the publisher next month. We should have started to see some sales, but I wouldn't have any clue as to how many. We published the books to give the Beyond Imagination material a more official footing and to make the material available in more than just pages on the WWW. Most of the material in the books is still available at the Beyond Imagination site and I have no intent to change that. There is just something about having a real book in your hands that is more satisfying and more convenient. OK, what would we express today? What is import on this 10/18 = 28 day in a 23/5 year? I applied for a credit card at Home Depot to purchase some wood flooring for the house. The final five of the credit card came out as 20184. This is very close to the final four of my SSN = 2184. Actually, 2184 has been coming up all over the place. In one case it had 45 on one side and 59 = 5x9 = 45 on the other side. My present age is 45. Further, my gas bill today came to 20.25 = 45 x 45. Another confirmation that I am onto something. However, the pieces do not create a comprehensive picture. At least not yet. All in due time. We experience what we need to experience when we need to experience it. There is nothing that we can do to force things to happen before their time. However, it seems that we can do things that delay when things happen in our lives ... or perhaps even prevent them from happening. Destiny is somewhat 89

open ended. It is dependent on our choices to play itself out. We truly do create our reality. It is within our power to make our lives a living hell or a heaven on earth or anything in between. How many of us realize this? How many of us accept responsibility, full responsibility, for what happens in our lives and how we react to it? It isn't so much what happens that matters, it is the meaning that we assign to what happens. We are free to assign any meaning to anything that happens. We can allow things to touch us or we can remain aloof. This is one area where our freedom is absolute. We will be subject to our beliefs however. Our beliefs are our way of informing our self as to what we would like to see in our reality. They include beliefs about self worth and what we are worthy of receiving. They include beliefs about what is important and what is not important. They include beliefs about the nature of reality and how it is created. What would I create in my life that I don't already have? The primary thing missing is relationships. This is not surprising since I've effectively chosen to live my life as a hermit. Though, that in and of itself doesn't preclude the establishment of relationships. Part of the challenge is that I'm looking for others that relate to what and how I express. So, they need to be interested enough to read a reasonable portion of what is at the Beyond Imagination site. That provides a basis for opening a dialog and starting a friendship. I'm willing to read what others have expressed as well if they'll make contact and point me to the site. How important is this to me? My sense is that I'm reaching the limits of what I can do on my own. I don't know right now whether that will happen in two months, two seasons, two years, or even two decades. It seems like it is sooner vs later. I don't like the idea of remaining alone indefinitely. And, that is how I feel. Though, it is an aloneness that is at one with spirit ... so how alone can it really be? Spirit is always by my side. She is ever ready to express when we allow her to. This is her expression as much as it is mine, perhaps even more so. What else would I create? Clearly this expression is one thing. It is important to allow spirit to express here as she will. I put no restrictions on what she would communicate. I trust that she has something to say that needs to be expressed and needs to be heard by someone ... perhaps even by many. At some point, maybe the Beyond Imagination works will make it to bestseller status. Though, for me it is enough that it reached who it is intended to reach ... and, I believe that to be spirits call not mine. Is that a copout? It seems that I make spirit responsible for everything. However I take full responsibility for what I allow spirit to do through me. So, there is personal responsibility as well. I'm not trying to get away with anything. I'm just doing the best with what I've got. Since I have alot, I expect a great deal from myself. For years, I was by far my harshest critic. Lately, I go far easier not only on myself but on others. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance. Let this be our creed. In over seventeen years of formal schooling through an MSEE from Stanford, I don't remember even once discussing or covering awareness. How can our education system claim to be educating us if it fails to include something so fundamental? If we follow the dictum to Know Thyself, nearly the first thing we encounter on the path is that we are an aware being with a consciousness only part of which we are directly aware. In fact, it is difficult to tell whether the known or the unknown is the greater part of existence. I would offer it is the unknown. The relationship of the known to the unknown is similar to that between the part of an iceberg above water versus below water.

19 October 2003 We're getting a very late start tonight. The day just got away from me. Sometimes it is like that. Having to commute back to Redondo Beach didn't help, but that's the normal Sunday night drill. Anyway we're here now. Let's see what consciousness has to express. I never really know what to expect. I give consciousness free reign here. From the beginning over ten years ago, this has been a stream of 90

consciousness expression. I have never been one to engage in much research. You'll notice that there are no footnotes and few references to the works of others. That is not so much by design as it is by natural tendency. I don't tend to remember very much. Material gets input from a variety of sources and gets put into the matrix of my mind. The things that need to be connected get connected. The things that I need to be aware of somehow get brought to my attention. In many ways, I live my life on automatic ... trusting that other than conscious parts of me are feeding me what I need to experience. Someone asked whether these writings are channeled or automatic. I don't know that they are channeled. I don't sense them to be coming from an "entity" other than me. However they do come forth automatically from something that I label as "source". The nature of the expression changes from day to day, and even from hour to hour sometimes. This seems to be due to changes in me rather than changes in source. Some days the expression is so fast that I can barely keep up with typing it. Other days the expression seems to be much slower ... there is more of an effort required to bring it forth. That too does not seem to matter. The speed of delivery is what it is. I trust that whatever is meant to come forth will indeed do so. A whole lot comes forth. How am I expected to deal with literally millions of words? Before I'm through, there will likely be over 10 million words, though that depends on continued expression for the next 25 years at a rate equivalent to that of the past decade. At this point, I have no reason to doubt that this will occur. Writing is it for me. It is how I express whom that I AM. No, it is not as personal as speaking. But, I must do what I must do. I met with someone today who was far more comfortable speaking about her metaphysical experiences than I am. I found the interaction interesting and even enjoyable. I could definitely use a lot more of that in my life. I can see that I would benefit greatly from it. And, hopefully I would have something to share as a result of equal or greater value. So, what can I do to draw more such people and experiences into my life? How do I create an emotional reality as rich as the spiritual one that I enjoy? How do I adjust my spiritual reality so that it is inclusive of others and not so isolated? Yes, that is what I desire now. It is time to start living a richer life. What do I have to do to make it richer? What would I do next? How would I change my life to conform to what I desire? How do I make connections and establish friendships? This is new ground for me. I've been such a loner for so long that I don't really know how to do this. Most people acquire this skill of being social as they are growing up. I was deficient in this, preferring to focus on self and finding out who I am. As an Aries with Uranus in the first house, this is natural. I am eccentric. I know that. However, I need to live in the world anyway. I need to do my work in the world as well. Though, this involves building the foundations for a new world. My experience today verifies that I am not meant to do this alone. This is something requires the cooperation of many. We each have our pieces of the puzzle to share. Together we can create something magnificent. We can bring forth a spiritual vibration that literally changes the world ... big time. A new world for a new age ... how appropriate. This is grand work that we are doing. It is work that takes aware beings doing what they can, doing what they are moved to do.

20 October 2003 Another day, another musing. That makes 20 for 20 this month. I am grateful to have the talents necessary to express in this manner. It is not something that many are blessed to do. Why should I be picked out to be so special? I am whom that I AM. The more that I express, the more that I learn just who this is. There is something about watching this stream of consciousness being expressed through me that is powerful and enlightening. It is definitely mind expanding and consciousness expanding. For me, this is how I learn what I am capable of ... or what spirit is capable of expressing through me. There is nothing like firsthand experience. Yet, I am deeply moved to share what comes forth. I don't know why 91

exactly. There is just a sense that the expression could be of utility to others ... perhaps even great utility. It documents an aware being coming to grips with the nature of itself, consciousness, and spirit. Is that enough to give it value to others? My immediate answer is yes. But, that comes from a pride of authorship, and a grandiosity of spirit. That is OK. For many years, I have done what I am moved to do. I've been moved to express and share what is expressed for over a decade now. Prior to that, I was in input mode ... and didn't really write anything. What changed? In 1993, I experienced an intense spiritual awakening over the course of about 6 months. During that time, the writings began and grew greatly in frequency and volume. By August, I was flying high ... so high that I could not function at work and took what was to be a three month medical leave of absence. On October 1, I was taken to the mental hospital and diagnosed as bipolar. I was put on Eskalith to control the swings of mental function. About six months later, Depakote was added to the daily medications. I'm still taking these to this day, along with Zyprexa which was added a couple of years ago when I was flying high again. As far as I can tell, I am fortunate in only seeing the manic side of bipolar. I don't think that I've been depressed during this time. I seem to vary from mild mania to moderate mania even with the medications. My life is primarily a life of spirit ... or at least a life devoted to spiritual expression. Such it has been since the awakening. For 20 years prior to that, I was heavily involved in metaphysics ... reading over 1000 books. If I could remember what I read, that should have been enough to make me an expert. However, my understanding was in my head. I lived in my mind and my mental creations. Now, I live in a different place. I use my mental abilities, but they are subordinate to the experience of being consciousness and being aware. I had an interesting e-mail from someone regarding Reality Creation 1010. He said that many people are reluctant to read a "wall of words". I thought that was interesting. What are the foundations for a new world going to be? Are walls of words sufficient? It is curious that I don't indent the first words of paragraphs. This has been my style since the expression began. I divide paragraphs with a blank line. Some of my paragraphs are quite long ... exceeding a page of text in book format. However, the breaks occur naturally. Writing has always been a natural process for me. I didn't have to learn how to do it. And, I refuse to consciously conform to any rules. This stream of consciousness expression is perfectly suited to my temperament and my nature. Here is where I am free in ways that I am not free anywhere else. Here is where I can be whom that I AM. The blank page doesn't criticize. It openly accepts all that I would care to express. What happens after that has not been my concern very much to date. Though, that is starting to change. There is a sense that I have a role to play in getting the word out ... in making people aware that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of metaphysical works that may be of utility to people in their lives. There is a lot of guidance offered here. No, it does not apply to everyone ... at least not all of it. But, there is enough variety that it can apply to many. Will the material ultimately impact many? That we will see in the months and years ahead. It will impact who it is meant to impact ... and they in turn will impact others. And, in the end the whole world will awaken. But, one step at a time. We have six books published to date this year, a seventh due out any day now, and an eighth due out before Christmas. That is a monumental amount of work to have accomplished in a year. We expect to publish at least four more books in 2004. In fact, we are already working on three of them. Why so many? Because there was a lot of material to pull from and the amount of work to package it into books was far less than I had thought possible. Also, the cost to publish each book was very reasonable. Prior to February, I had no idea just how reasonable. No, the books aren't perfect. They capture the Beyond Imagination expression as it came forth. There was no sense that I should edit it in any way, other than spell checking and some simple grammar correction. I am not one to rewrite what has already come forth. Even during my school days, the first draft was almost always the final one. I trust that whatever is bringing it forth knows what she is doing and is expressing what she wants to express. Yes, I am an integral part of the process ... however, no more integral than the keyboard that allows me to get this expression into the computer so that it can be stored, displayed, and ultimately shared. Thou, my mind 92

does have to synchronize with the energy that is being expressed. I liken the process to an instrument being played by a master musician. My mind is the instrument, spirit is the musician. My awareness experiences the music that spirit is able to evoke through the instrument. Further, and perhaps even more importantly ... my awareness witnesses the process. In doing so, I know that I am not doing it all, not consciously anyway. There is a mystery involved in how all of this works. The process is magical. It is not meant to be explained, it is meant to be experienced. I have this feeling that I am starting to repeat things that I have said before. It is not clear how much truly new material is coming forth. Yet, I am moved to express in this manner anyway. The expression is what it needs to be. It flows out of the present moment into manifestation. Here, the word is made flesh and is captured in physical form. File after file, day after day the expression continues. Even after ten years, it still moves me deeply. I am amazed by what is expressed, not only amazed that it could come through me ... but amazed that it could come forth from spirit in this manner. I can still go back to any part of the expression and re-experience it as if it were the first time that I saw it. Seth's work was like that as well. Though, Seth was more focused in his books than I am. What does that say about the material that it can remain new and fresh in that way? Further, it seems that the meaning of what was expressed varies over time as I change and grow in awareness. I wonder whether the expression impacts others in that way as well. I am anxious to get on with my life. There is a strong sense that a new phase is about to begin. In fact, it seems that 2004 will bring this into my life somehow. The vibrations of the year will impact how I manifest. 2003 was characterized by transiting Pluto trine to my natal Sun for most of the year, including three directs the final of which occurs on 11/11 if memory serves me. This triggered all the ninth house written expression and publishing that has occurred this year. That wasn't all ... there were also several other outer planet transits to spice up the year. The body of writing provides a basis for assessing if and how these factors impacted the character of the expression. That might make for an interesting case study. That is one of the good things about capturing all of this in the manner that I do. There is a substantial record of the experiences of an aware being coming to grips with its own awareness and its spiritual nature. At this point, there is no sense that this will let up anytime soon. It is as if I have tapped an artesian well. It doesn't take any effort on my part to pump the effort from source ... it just flows out naturally. So, this is not really work. It is an endeavor of love that I engage in. It is curious that I travel the length of Artesia Blvd twice each week and live two blocks off of it. Artesia Blvd is also known as the 91 which for me is 78 + 13: Death Exalted. Lately, it has become much more important to share the results of that endeavor with others. I have been posting the expression to the WWW since 1995. But, that is not enough. That gets it in some people's hands but not necessarily the right people's hands. How do I know that? Because it has not resulted in any close relationships yet. It seems that one of the reasons for expressing in this manner is to open a major part of my life to others. The hope would be that there would be others that would be open to sharing in kind and establishing mutual cooperative endeavors. I look at all that spirit has done through me, and I can't help but wonder what glories could be if we were united to create a greater vessel for consciousness to express. It is hard to be other than grandiose when I look at all that has been expressed through me since 1993. Spirit has been prolific. Yet, what is it all for? I have been the witness to it all. But, I am not aware of whom the material has reached and how it has impacted them. I trust that it has had some impact. My sense is that everything is done for a reason. This expression has come forth in the manner that it has for various reasons. One reason is to provide me with the experiences and information that I needed to grow and develop into who I have become. This includes the awakening experiences that have resulted. Everything in me says that is not the major reason for this expression. This is to be an example for others somehow. I am a wayshower. A major part of the way for me is what consciousness has been able to 93

express in my life. We are spirit enfleshed already. We have been for so long as we have been incarnate. Though, it seems that few are truly in touch with the spiritual aspect of themselves. Here, intuition has a big part to play. It is our tie to source ... the one consciousness. It would be helpful to get feedback on this expression. Does it move people? Does it help people? What could be done to make it more useful to those who encounter it? The expression naturally evolves to be more and more useful to me. But, that is not enough. I would have it impact others, and impact them deeply. Yet, I don't do anything in particular to make this so. I continue to express as I am moved to express ... as a stream of consciousness.

21 October 2003 The stream of consciousness continues to flow forth and I anxiously await to see where it will lead. This is an endeavor of love for me. It captivates my heart and my soul as nothing else does in my life. I am privileged to be the one through whom all this comes. I get to experience firsthand the creative power of spirit operating in my life. This seems to be a rare thing, though it is becoming more and more common. I am grateful for all that I experience. There are some areas of my life that could use improvement ... but overall there is a sense that I am carrying out my mission and doing exactly what I need to do. The improvements are things that would enable me to enjoy the process of my life more. The journey is what it is all about. What more can I do? It is difficult staying focused at work when this expression is so much more engrossing. Yet, I know that my job is still part of my path. There is something more that I can learn from it. And, it covers me financially until something else kicks in. I'm within weeks of completing my seventh year with this company. That is as long as I've worked anywhere. It has been an interesting seven years that included a three-month medical leave of absence in April through June of 1998. Overall the company is a good one to work for. The benefits are good and employees are treated well. But, there is no sense that I am rising up to reach anything close to my potential. I do what I do very well. But, that still comes primarily as an individual contributor. I haven't really reached a position of leadership ... so there is a whole side of skills that goes unused. This contributes to a sense of dissatisfaction. I know that there is more that I could be doing. I just don't know how to do it in the work environment. Similarly, in the Beyond Imagination expression, there is a sense that while I am doing a lot ... I could be doing far more. Though, here I seem to be far more in control of my destiny. I don't consider myself a people person. I'm not the kind to chat and make idle conversation. I would prefer to deal deeply with others or not at all. Doing otherwise is a waste of my time as well as those with whom I deal. Given that preference and that belief, it is not surprising that I make so few contacts with others. Though, I have literally expressed volumes. Those words introduce you to who I am and the world in which I live. If you like what you see and find it of utility, do initiate contact by introducing yourself. My name below has a link by which to e-mail me. You'll find that I am quite approachable and responsive ... especially when it comes to the topics of consciousness and spirit in expression. Then again, everything is spirit in expression, so that's a broad topic. I am curious as to how others experience consciousness in their lives. Is it similar to or different than my own experience. I've focused so heavily on my own reality and my own experience for so long that I have little to no insight into others. Perhaps it is time to change this focus. It needs to change if I am going to develop close relationships in my life. However it is tough to make the leap from what you know to what you don't know even if it offers the potential for much good to come into my life and into the world. I look at all that has been expressed through me to date ... and can't help but think what might have been expressed if I were not so isolated from others. Then again, perhaps it was that very isolation that enabled me to express all of this. That 94

doesn't mean that the isolation has to continue. My experience on Sunday was a case in point. There was an exchange of energy of great mutual benefit. It allowed me to see that indeed there are others worthy of communicating with who have different experiences than my own ... but who are just as much into metaphysics and spiritual development as I am. I was starting to get a bit of a superiority complex. This was just what I needed to tone that down. Now, how do I find others with whom to interact in a similar fashion and preferably on a continual basis? That is what I want in my life. That is the key thing that is missing. I also desire to make my spiritual work, my life's work. Hmm ... it already is. There is nothing that says that your life's work will also be your means of earning a living. Though, it would sure be nice if it were. It seems that I could accomplish so much more if this were a fulltime rather than a part time endeavor. What would it take to manifest that? What would it take to be able to do what I love to do on a fulltime basis? The desire is one thing. But, something more is needed. In particular, we need opportunity. We have a product to sell in the Beyond Imagination books. Further, there must be some kind of service that we could offer that would be of value to people. At this point, I don't know what that is. But, there must be something. All of this intuitive expression has surely trained me to do something. I've been moved to set a price for this expression at $1 per word. Somehow, it seems that such a price will indeed be paid. Allowing the expression to pour forth is like putting money into the bank. Every word gets credited. When the money will be received physically and made accessible to me is a different matter. It seems that this is not something to be forced. Everything in its proper season. It will happen when the time is right for it to happen. With all of the expression in the past ten years, there is a big positive balance. We are past the 3 million words point and still growing by 1-2 thousand nearly every day. That is a lot of expression. Even if I subtract what I have been paid to date, we are still close to 2 million short of being compensated fairly. That is OK. I have what I need. I live comfortably overall. A bigger house and some better things might be nice ... but it is not clear that they would make me happier. How much space do two people and three dogs really need? What I do need is people with whom to relate to. This doesn't have to cost anything except time. Time is a precious commodity. But, I would consider such a use of my time to be an investment toward a better future. There is only so much fulfillment that I can derive from this expression. At some point what matters is how we impact others. I can impact others through my words and through my presence. I haven't had the opportunity to do much of the later, and it seems high time that I did. The march toward a better future starts with the changes that we make here and now in the present moment. What am I willing to do differently to make myself more approachable and accessible so that I can draw people into my life? There is no doubt about it, that is what I want to do right now. The first answer that comes to mind is a scary one ... whatever it takes. But, that is almost always the right answer. If we really want something, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it. As a spiritually focused being, this will be consistent with whom that I am. But, it will be different than I have been used to experiencing or expressing. That is OK. It is time for something new. It will be interesting to see what the new year brings. There is a sense that major changes are in store not only for me personally but for Beyond Imagination and for all those whose lives I am able to touch. Yes, that is expecting a lot. And yes, it is audacious and grandiose of me to believe this. But, I believe it nevertheless. I will make a difference ... preferably a major difference for many, perhaps even for the world. Yes, this is what I demand from myself. I can be very demanding. Part of that comes from knowing what I am capable of. That, and not being willing to accept less from myself. Though, I'm still not doing all that I can do even under my present circumstances. Further, I have created these circumstances for a reason. One reason that I can think of is to enable me to have time to express in the manner that I do. Another is to experience sufficient dissatisfaction to move me to do something.

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22 October 2003 Once again we are drawn here to express ... as we are so often of late. We're still on a consecutive streak for the month. Though a business trip next week may change that unless I choose to express longhand. That is always a possibility. But, it is much slower and harder to do than to type. However, there is a heightened need to express, so I just may overcome the obstacles. We're only talking about two days. We can put up with anything for two days. I also have a vacation planned for early November, but I should be able to take my laptop with me since it is a driving trip and the days have already become noticeably shorter. Fall is definitely upon us. Though, the temperatures in Southern California are still reminiscent of summer. So, what would come forth today? Why is it necessary to express each day? There is a sense that when we don't express, we block the flow and create a backlog of sorts. It then takes significant effort to remove the backlog and express everything that has been held back. When we express regularly the expression is more fluid and not as hurried. We can take our time allowing it to come forth. It seems that regardless, what needs to be expressed will be expressed. That seems to be a matter of fate, not of choice. Though I freely choose to engage in this expression. This is not forced upon me. I am moved to do it. But that is not from any external force but from a source that comes from within. One can do far worse than to serve spirit. Ultimately, this is the one choice that matters most. Though serving spirit by serving others is something that we must do in our own way. This is the highest endeavor that we can engage in. It requires that which is grandest within us. We will know when we are doing it. Our lives will click, they will work in ways that are harmonious. We will be able to fully express whom that we are. These are BIG things. They are things that will make a major difference in the world, especially if many of us are doing them. How many is many? I don't know, but it takes far less that a majority to make a big difference. How can that be? How can an outnumbered force overcome a much greater force? The trick comes from the synergy involved when a focused group is formed. When the time is right, the spiritual force will be unleashed and nothing in its way will be able to stop it. How can I know the things that I know? How can the bulk of this stream of consciousness be expressed in the declarative? What is this thing that I call source from which this material springs? These are important questions, but do I really need to know the answers? Is it not enough to simply do what I am moved to do and be aware of that? Is it not enough to experience and express whom that I AM? Some things are not meant to be explained or even known. These may well be some of them. That doesn't mean we can't use the energies and the abilities to create things in the world. In fact, we will be surprised at just how much we can create if we apply ourselves diligently. What I have been able to express is but one example. You too can do these things. Perhaps your forte is not writing ... but there is something that you can do well that is of utility to others. Ultimately it is what we share that is of utility to others that matters most. That is how we make progress in any area of endeavor ... we share. We share of whom that we are, we share of what we know, we share of what we have experienced ... as much as we can. There is always something to share, and someone or some group to share it with. We just have to be ourselves and be open to the opportunities that present themselves. Why am I so tired lately? I can barely keep my eyes open at times. I get enough sleep, close to 8 hours per day ... and even more on weekends. Why is that not enough? Is there something about this expression that drains my batteries so to speak? Struggling to stay awake is hard work. Hmm ... the suggestion is that struggling to stay aware is hard work as well. What can I do to correct this? It seems that this is driven by some sort of imbalance. It is getting bad enough that I need to do something about it. I'm not sure what yet, but I sense that I will be finding out soon somehow. Generally, when I become interested enough in something to ask questions the answers are forthcoming. Occasionally, the answers come even before the questions. I can trust that one way or another I will come to know what I need to 96

know when I need to know it. Some things just can't be rushed. We need to be patient and allow them to manifest in their due time. Celine Dion sings A New Day has Come. I've been hearing/noticing that song more frequently of late. I typically hear it several times per day, "Let it shatter the walls for a new Sun/Son". I still don't know how to interpret that line. It is repeated around half a dozen times in the course of the song. It strikes me as being very important ... even though I don't know the meaning. That is not unusual. There are many things that strike me as being important ... without my having a clue as to why. Many of the numbers that I see are like that. It takes effort to pull the meaning out of the symbol systems in our life. My sense is that much of the meaning is innate. It is something that we feel directly. However, when we are attempting to be more aware ... it is important to make this process more conscious. Ultimately, we are able to choose what things mean to us. It is more effective doing this when we know the languages of the symbol systems. That allows them and spirit to reveal to us the information that we need to be able to make good choices in our lives. Good choices are those that benefit ourselves and others. It is very important that we consider the impact on others in our decisions. The best decisions are those that support both the individual and the collective. What would I do next? I'm going to have to do something to make my work more exciting. Fighting to stay awake just doesn't cut it. I need to be challenged more. I need to be doing things that use more of my talents. How do I do that? How do I restructure what I am doing so that coming to work becomes more of a joy than a chore that I have to do to pay the bills? To some degree, I feel trapped by it all. Yet, at the same time, I know that I am free at heart ... and that my spiritual liberation is close at hand. I just don't know how close. Are we talking weeks, months, or years? I just don't know. It will happen when it happens. Until then, all that I can do is what I am moved to do. I am suffering from a sort of selfimposed isolation. I can change that. I can restructure my working relationships with others. This is a matter of choice that is well within my authority. I just need to choose to work differently and engage with others more, rather than working so independently. Though, there is something to be said for independence. It frees me to do a lot, not being bogged down by the inefficiencies inherent in most groups that I have experienced to date. Though, it does not have to be that way. There is the potential for synergy to arise in groups. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to arise very often yet. Yes, big changes are needed, and I sense they are in store. It is a matter of accepting them and allowing them to happen. I have no sense that I need to do anything in particular to make them happen. The guidance remains: do as you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That has been consistent for many years. It doesn't help me to know what I must do in advance. But it assures me that what I need in the moment will be given to me in the moment ... even if that is the inner push to do something. For many years, I have lived my life in the moment. I had no need for plans. There were no goals or objectives that I was trying to reach. There still aren't for the most part. I am what I am. I express what I express. If you like it and it serves you, great. If not, find somewhere else to spend your time and energy. I can only be the best that I can be. I can only express what spirit is able to bring forth through me. Since 1993, that has been a lot ... but particularly since the beginning of 2002. Is the expression of utility to others? You tell me. I know that it is beneficial to me, and I have to believe that it would benefit others. But only you can determine how it impacts you. It still amazes me that I can speak in this manner, that all of this could come forth through me. Yet here it is. There is no denying it. We have millions of words to attest to the process. This is a stream of consciousness expression. You are seeing it uncut and unedited except for some spell-checking. This is how I've been moved to express for many years. There is no going back. The expression transforms me into more than I was before. My awareness continues to increase to account for all that I experience. Part of what I experience is observing myself observing this expression happening. I am aware that I am watching myself do all of this. I don't know how many people are actively aware of observing what they 97

do. My sense is that it is few ... that this is enlightened behavior. How do I find others who are aware and aware of being aware? Perhaps by sharing our experiences in this area, we can all become more. And further, maybe we can find ways to work together to manifest whole new expressions of consciousness. My sense is that many can do far more than any individual can do. And further, organized properly, many might be able to do far more than the sum of what the individuals could do alone. So, how do I find others with whom to share my life? In particular, I'm looking for kindred spirits ... those who might be part of my spiritual family. If you feel something from this expression, and sense any sort of connection ... please take the time to write and introduce yourself so that we can see where it might lead. I am open to exploring what connections we might have and what endeavors we might work on together. I may not have a lot of free time. But, the time that I do have is my own and I am free to do what I will with much of it. Also, I am open to shifting the focus of my energies from what I do now to something else that I find to be more in line with carrying out my mission. Here, any ideas you may have as to what we can do together are welcome. I won't necessarily agree with all of them ... but I'm sure we can find something cooperative to do if we remain open. Cooperative interdependence is the way of the future. It is time that we start to make it the way of the now, too.

23 October 2003 We continue to come here to express. Day after day we come here, drawn by a force that we cannot resist. This expression is of great importance to us. It defines us. It enables us to find out whom that we are. Here is where we touch the magic. Here is where we creatively express in a manner that demonstrates what we are capable of when we allow spirit to work through us. What more could we ask for? We have been given so much. It is only fair that we find a way to use this in a manner that serves others. Does this expression do that? That is an important question to ask. But, how am I to know the answer. My sense is that there is much that has been expressed through me in the Beyond Imagination material that is of utility to many. However, that is not based on any evidence that came from those who were served or found the material useful. Thus far, I only know what the material has done for me and at most a handful of others. And, even for these, I only know that they found particularly works worthy of providing feedback. I am still amazed by how little feedback has come as a result of this expression. I expected to impact far more people by now and in a way such that they would be moved to initiate contact. But that has not occurred. Further, I have no way of know if it will occur soon or not. All that I know is that if it is meant to be, it will be. I can be assured of that. Does that mean that I should stop and reassess what has been expressed to date? No, I don't think that it does. What has been expressed is what could be expressed. I have no regrets about that. In fact, I take pride in both the quantity and quality of the expression to date. This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, it goes into things beyond what I know. That is OK, spirit joins us in this expression and she knows far more about what she is doing than I do. That is a good thing. If it were up to me alone, it is doubtful that any of this would have been expressed. Though, I would have had to do something with my newfound awareness since 1993. And, writing is one of the things that I do best. It is fitting that spirit would use this particular talent in this way. Further, I have been interested in the nature of consciousness for some time. How else to better find out of this nature than directly through an extensive stream of consciousness expression? What more can I say? Spirit knows how best to utilize all of the resources that she is given. She doesn't take, however. She waits for us to volunteer our services. To play in this game we must cooperate and volunteer to serve. These are high-level behaviors that many do not appear ready to adopt. That is OK. We only need enough to keep the plan of spirit unfolding in the world. Almost by definition, however many there are at any given time is enough. Those of us that are aware have our parts to play in the grand spiritual drama that is unfolding. The changing of an Age is 98

a very important time. They only come every two millennia and only repeat every twenty five millennia. That is way beyond anything that we have in our recorded history. So, there is no precedent for this change from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age. So, what is in store for the times immediately ahead? I ask that ... but I don't really expect an answer other than what is revealed directly in the moment. My life is to be lived in the moment. Some people are able to plan things, but that has never been my way. I need to seize the moment and do those things that are mine to do as soon as I realize what they are. That can make for a challenging life. One never really knows what to expect next. However, there is a sense of accomplishment in being able to achieve what I have been able to achieve. No, it is not all that I can do yet ... or even the best that I can do. But, it is good enough for the circumstances and the state that I am presently in. That doesn't mean that I can rest on past achievements. Time marches ever onward, and with it comes the need to do things that matter, things that make a difference in the lives of others and in the world. This doesn't happen by accident, it happens by deliberate choice on our part. It is for us to choose what we will do. Note, I did not say plan ... though many need to do that as well. We create reality by what we choose to do, not what we plan to do. In the end, it is what we do that makes the difference. So, what am I moved to do? First, I am moved to express here as I do. Second, I await guidance from consciousness as to what to do next. I am ready to act ... I just need to be moved. Hmm ... is that limiting my expression in some way. Do I need to wait to be moved before I choose to take action? Is it not enough that I am an aware being and can therefore trust what I know to be right for me to do? I haven't asked that question in that way before. Indeed, I can be more spontaneous in how I live my life. That will give me the opportunity to meet different people than I have to date ... in particular, the very people that I say that I want in my life. How can I know this? I just do. There is something within me that know that this is how life works. It is not something that I have been told or that I have read. It is something that I have realized. How many things in my life are like this? How many things do I just know? Some might say that these are beliefs that I hold. But, that is not how I experience them. I can play with my beliefs. I can believe them or not believe them as I will and experience reality in accord with my choices. Knowingness is not like that. It does not involve choice. That is not quite right, I can choose not to accept the knowingness and choose to believe otherwise. This is not advised. But, it is a choice that we have. It is far better if we base our lives and our choices on truth. There is plenty of room for beliefs in our life. We don't have to use them in ways that are ineffective or counterproductive. How do we develop this inner knowingness? That, I don't really know. This is something that I have had since I was a kid. It is something that I could always count on. I don't remember having to do anything to develop it or to bring it out. It was just there. My sense is that this sense is inside of each of us. We just need to connect to our inner self.

24 October 2003 Yesterday, something happened to my left foot. I got up from my chair in the late afternoon and it was so painful that I could barely walk or limp as it were. I don't remember doing anything to sprain or aggravate it. My chiropractor could not do much for it. He though that it might be gout. I guess decades of poor eating habits have finally had their effect. The excessive weight doesn't help as well ... making each step excruciating. I'm used to being in tolerably good health. Or I have been most of my life. Being in pain is definitely not good for the soul. Though, it is fine as I sit here. I create my own reality ... that includes my present condition. It seems that this is a wake up call from myself to myself to tell me that I cannot continue to live as I have. That means new eating habits. No red meat, actually no meat at all for awhile. That means that I need to find vegetarian alternatives to replace my current ways. That could be tough, but it can't be as bad as barely being able to walk. Why did I need this in my life right now? This is the second time my body has failed me in the past seven years, The first time I had an uncontrollable 99

cough that was so bad that I couldn't sleep for nearly a week. I didn't really know why I needed to experience that either. Now, there are still chores that I need to do that require me to be mobile. I don't know that I would call myself that at this time. I was able to make it to the post office and send in five books to the Copyright Office. All of them were already published. I had just been a little negligent in filling out the forms and sending the packages out. That is OK. It can take up to a year for the process anyway ... so there was no real sense of urgency. What next? Clearly, I need to do something about my health. Limping is definitely not how I picture myself. How am I to soar in consciousness if I am imprisoned by such conditions in flesh? Physical health is important to spiritual well being. While we are incarnate, we cannot escape being physical. Nor is it desired that we do so. In consciousness, we are free to go where we will despite the restrictions of the physical. However, there is something to be said about being in the body too. It is not an either/or situation ... we can experience both. In fact, the health of the body leads to the health or the mind which in turn enables spirit to express more fully through us. How do I heal myself. Given that I chose this condition, surely there is a way out as well. I don't know enough about the body to know, at least not yet, But, I can find out. My wife knows a lot about this area. I can enlist her help. The bottom line is commitment to a lifestyle change. I don't know how long it will take or that to take effect. My hope is soon. I don't really like pain ... especially intense pain. Putting close to 240 pounds on a sore foot is not conducive to pain free living. There is nothing like illness to bring us back to living in the physical. Enough of all the talk of pain and of the physical. We come here to soar as far as consciousness can take us. We've been doing this for over ten years through a couple of small books, Notes, and now Musings. One more week and we have completed 22 months of intense expression. That is definitely a record. In fact, each day is a new record. We haven't missed a day yet this month. At our present rate of expression, we are unlikely to do so. For the most part, I am in control of this. I choose to make time each day to allow this expression to come forth. I don't judge it. I simple allow the stream of consciousness to go where it will ... trusting in the process that what needs to be expressed will be expressed. To some degree, it is out of my hands. Yet, from another perspective it is all coming forth through me. Because of this, I have an active role in the process even though I am not consciously aware of what that might be. Spirit knows what she is doing and gentle brings me along. In the process of experiencing this communication, I become more aware of whom that I am and more aware of how spirit operates. You would think that after ten years and literally several million words, I would have become an expert by now. But such is not the case. Everyday, with every expression I learn more. Am I able to communicate what I learn? That is a good question. Communication is a two way exchange. I haven't experienced doing much of this. It is about time for that to change. I have a message which needs to be heard, which needs to be communicated. Perhaps the millions of words expressed to date are not the appropriate format for that message. I needed to see them and some number of people seem to be reaching them, but we don't really have a succinct statement of what Beyond Imagination is all about. There are a variety of top level words here and there ,,, but we could make it easier. The Beyond Imagination book comes closest to doing this. It has been available at the Beyond Imagination site since the Summer of 1995. It is a major part of the published book Beyond Imagination: The Early Works. It will be interesting to see if people are moved to buy it. Change ... it seems that massive change is on the immediate horizon. However, other than the things that I've spoken of above that are self-chosen, I don't have any insight as to what is in store. Yet, I am anxious anyway. I know that spirit is doing her thing behind the scenes and that the reality that I experience is exactly what I need at this time. I may not know why or how ... but I trust that this is the case. It seems that I have some work to do in the area of beliefs about the importance of the physical in our lives. For so long, I have simply overlooked it ... considering it to be a poor stepchild to the spiritual. But, we are spirit 100

in flesh ... and we are enfleshed for a reason, primarily because that is the only way to be incarnate and experience the great gift of physical life.

25 October 2003 Spent most of the day resting or sleeping to give my foot time to heal. It seems to be working. It is a lot less painful than it was yesterday. But, I barely walked at all today ... just a brief distance to the dentist's office and back from the closest parking spot. We'll see how it feels tomorrow before we decide to go to the doctor or not. I don't like going if I don't have to. And, if the pain is gone I don't know what good the doctor might do. Today I was a vegetarian. I didn't have any meat at all. My chiropractor said to avoid red meat and pork. That is a big shift in my diet. We'll see how long I can stick to it. However, usually if I set my mind, heart, and soul on something ... it will be done. That has been my experience to date anyway. Back in the Summer of 1993, I became a vegetarian for a few weeks during one of my periods of intense mania/soaring. But eventually I came down and went back to my old ways. Will that be the same this time? The difference is that this time a health problem is driving the change. The problem isn't going to go away unless I do something. In this case, something pretty radical. That is OK, it is high time that I invested some attention and energy towards my health. Until the foot recovers, exercise options are somewhat limited. In fact, I don't offhand know of any. Yet there must be others who have experienced similar problems, maybe not due to gout, but in some way hurting a foot or a leg. Surely there are exercise machines that permit such people to exercise aerobically, Cherry juice is supposed to be one of the best things for gout. I've had so much of it today that I nearly drowned in it. The first large cup was good. However, by the third large cup it is starting to get old. However, we do what we must. Anything beats the pain of walking that we experienced all day yesterday. I still can't believe that it came on as suddenly as it did. I don't remember doing anything to overly stretch or strain it. I just got up from my desk in the late afternoon and it was very sore making it painful to walk. One would have thought that there might be some warning. Also, the pain was on the outer middle part of the left foot, not typically a place you would expect to sprain. Also, that part of the foot was hot to the touch, and I was running a fever. Those symptoms have receded today. Though I'm still overly susceptible to temperature ... either too hot or too cold. Why did I need to experience this now? It seems that it is a wake up call of sorts to do something about my health and my physical life. I need to heed that call and do something. And, this time not something temporary ... something permanent. Clearly I can do that. Of that, there is no doubt. I create my own reality. I created this condition and I can overcome it. The thought of giving up so many foods that I love is not pleasant. But, I've had forty-five years to eat them. That is enough. Besides, I may just come to like these new foods even better. You might say that in this area I have been living out of harmony with nature for several decades. One can only do that for so long before something breaks. Now, I've had two major times where my mind broke and two times where my body broke. Each time before, I have recovered ... though the mental breaks took quite awhile to fix. Perhaps we never really recover from these, we make the best of our newfound awareness and go on. In my case, the jumps in the level of awareness were large. However, it is not easy to explain them to those who have not experienced them. And to those who have experienced them, no explanation is necessary. Awareness is a one way thing. One is either aware of not. And, if you are, it is obvious. If you have to think about it ... you are not. Awareness is not a mind thing, it is a consciousness thing. You have to go beyond mind to reach it.

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Consciousness is everything. Consciousness is how spirit interfaces with us. We are consciousness in flesh, first and foremost. It helps if we keep that in mind. I have said man times that this is primarily a stream of consciousness expression. Even when personal stuff such as the above comes forth, I don't really feel that I am generating it. There is something that I call source that I tap via my intuition, that does all of this. Yes, it pulls details from my life at times. Generally that is for illustration. Since I live such a solitary life, the only experiences she has to pull from are my own. For the most part, that means that I cannot express something until I realize it ... until I make it real for me. Life is a process of continually realizing more and more. However, it seems that many people are not really engaged in the process. They have gotten stuck in their ways and have stopped growing. For me, to stop growing is to die. You might think this to be true universally ... but it doesn't appear to be. There are many who are happy to just enjoy life and be who they have become. We never know how long this will last. I spent 20 years preparing for a day of awakening and had no clue that such a day would even come. I concentrated on the metaphysics that captivated my soul. But, I was doing it primarily in my head, even while I recognized its truth in my heart. The mind is a useful tool but a poor master. We need to get our ultimate directions from spirit.

26 October 2003 Another day of rest. Though I was able to walk enough to mow the lawn. It was a bit of a challenge, but with few exceptions there was no pain involved. I guess that means that something is working. If it really was gout, it could be the heavy dosage of cherry juice and two helpings of strawberries that made such a miraculous difference. If it was a sprain, I don't understand how staying off it for one day could make much difference. It seems that it would have taken much longer to heal. I'm not quite back to normal, but I'm mobile anyway. Though stairs may be a challenge. I have stairs to negotiate both at my place in Redondo Beach and at my work. I'll just have to take it slowly. Health is definitely important. You never know how important until you are ailing in some manner. What is the purpose of physical pain in our lives? What does it have to teach us? My sense is that it comes as a wake up call that it is time to change our ways somehow. For me, I think that means moving to a primarily vegetarian diet with occasional fish or white meat chicken/turkey thrown in ... say twice a week at most. We'll see how I do on that and then decide what to do next. Sodas are out for good. That could be a bit of a hardship, but I know they are not good for me. Perhaps its time to try water. I don't consider these things limitations. I consider them adjustments in lifestyle that I need to make and choose to make. My wife would say "it's about time". I've been avoiding doing anything in this area for far too long. That is OK. Better now than never. And, it seems that the adjustments are noticeable very quickly. This isn't something that I have to work at forever to see change manifest. This is especially true since we are making relatively big adjustments. In response, we should see relatively big impacts especially in terms of better health. We'll know it when we feel it. I've already gone over 48 hours without meat. However, I'll probably get a BBQ chicken salad for dinner tonight. That doesn't qualify as vegetarian. But, it has no red meat or pork either. Right now, I have no compelling reason to be wholly vegetarian. Primarily vegetarian is good enough. There is something about the middle way. Nothing to extremes. Then again, my life has not been that way. My bipolar condition takes me to extremes of consciousness. And, I do love to soar. I've been doing it for over ten years now. That is quite a lot of practice. It is enough time to get good at something. Perhaps not enough time to master it ... but often good is good enough to use it. Mastership will come in due time if we are diligent in our practice. Though, it is important that we are practicing the right things. That is where teachers come into the picture. In the spiritual side of my life, I have not had any teachers other than consciousness herself. I wonder why that is? I wonder why there have been no physical teachers. There is a saying in the East ... 102

"when the student is ready, the master will appear". Consciousness appeared in my life suddenly in 1993. However, there have been no physical or nonphysical masters that took me on as a student. At least, none that I am consciously aware of. I don't know what happens in my sleep, however, so who knows? Perhaps such training is taking place on other than conscious levels of awareness. It will be interesting to see what other changes these choices bring into my life. All that we can do is what we are moved to do in the moment. But here we are talking big things, major lifestyle changes. We don't typically make such changes, but when we do our lives change dramatically. Perhaps this will contribute to being able to outreach more as well. With a new physical self-image, perhaps different personality traits will surface as well. You never know until you see what happens. If I'm going to take Beyond Imagination to the world, I need to be more outgoing. Sharing what has been expressed comes close, but is not truly outgoing since I don't really interact with those with whom the information is shared. How do I take the next step? How do I inform others that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of works that are worthy of their attention? My sense is that I did not bring forth all of this material and publish it in books for nothing. I was moved to do this, moved by spirit. Yes, there is personal gain involved as well. I want to earn my livelihood from the work that I do here. I thought books might be a way to allow me to do that. It is still too early to tell. Thus far we have over $3600 invested and sales of $68. Along with that we have 7 books displayed, 14 books in inventory, and we've sent 14 books to the Copyright Office. The cost also includes one more book to be published giving us one more display copy and two more for the Copyright Office. Hopefully, we'll start to see royalties come in when we get the next statement from the publisher. We haven't done much to promote the Beyond Imagination books yet. We've added a couple of new pages covering the published books and have pointers to the publishers site for people to order the books. I have a promotion pack with a thousand business cards, five hundred postcards, and two hundred and fifty bookmarks. But, it doesn't do much good if you don't know people to give them to. The publisher just recently established a return policy for unsold books. This enables bookstores to buy the books without fear of not being able to sell them. They will be able to return them for up to a year from the purchase date. What next? Enjoy the journey wherever it takes you. The journey is everything. There may be times when we are focused on arriving at some destination. But the destination is just a point in time and space. Most of our life is spent in transit, in the journey. Correspondingly, we should place most of our attention there. Life is about being where we are. That doesn't mean we should neglect getting where we would prefer to be. In fact, getting there requires taking action in the moment.

27 October 2003 I'm just about back to normal. I can still feel some pain in the foot if I step on it the wrong way. But, overall I am pleased with the progress. I did go to the doctor today just to make sure. He pretty much dismissed it being gout and he clearly did not believe much in chiropractics or in the idea that the half gallon plus of cherry juice and several helpings of strawberries could have resulted in such a quick recovery. Actually, he did say the area being inflamed and hot were symptoms of gout. However, those symptoms were long gone, so he didn't really get to confirm them. It was easier for him to conclude that the condition went away by itself. Either way, from my perspective it was a minor medical miracle. Literally, within a day I went from being in great pain whenever we took a step with the left foot ... to effectively being functional again. I did have to go get x-rays and bloodwork done, however. It will be interesting to see whether there are high levels of uric acid present in the blood that would be indicative of gout.

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I wonder how many people experience such recoveries? It seems that it probably happens much more than people might think. There is a reason we call the medical profession a practice. My experience of it is that it is quite closed-minded. Even the x-ray technician had no respect for what a chiropractor thought. On the other hand, my chiropractor is very open minded, and very thorough about figuring out what the body and mind need to function more effectively. He is definitely more intuitive than most doctors, yet he also uses his logical faculties. So, where do we go from here? Lifestyle changes are still definitely in order. We don't need to have these conditions return. That means no red meat, and a primarily vegetarian diet to the degree that we can tolerate it. We may even find we like it after awhile. That's one of the funny things about changes ... it's amazing what you can get used to. Also, it is time to get serious about weight loss. That means sticking to roughly 1200 calories and 60 grams of carbs per day. Also, we need to introduce exercise back into the daily regime. Perhaps it is best to start with walking. I can do that when I get home, perhaps even walking to someplace for dinner and back. There are many places within a two mile round trip. We can start slowly until the foot is fully recovered. That means that I won't have as much time to express here. But, health is worth something ... and everything takes time especially if we want to do it right. Besides, who knows what insights will come from this? This could have a highly positive impact on this expression. Besides, if my health is better, I may not find it necessary to sleep so much ... thereby freeing up time to do other things such as write. Also, in the end it doesn't really matter. There is always sufficient time to do what needs to be done. That doesn't mean there is necessarily much excess, so we need to be careful how we use it. The way that works for me is to do what I am moved to do, when I am moved to do it. I trust that it is spirit herself doing the moving so that I can rest assured that what I am moved to do is right for me. If you're going to follow a similar pattern, you need to establish a connection with source, the link to spirit within you. The connection is there, inside of you. You may need to be quiet, and seek awhile however. What we earnestly seek, we eventually find. That is one of the laws of the universe. There is something about the process of gravitating to ones destiny that is the same as the process of a star gravitating to its place in the heavens. It just happens naturally. Though many may be surprised by what their destiny actually is. What makes me think that I have mine correct? It just feels right to me. Midwife to the birth of the Aquarian Age ... and building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can express more fully in flesh. How does one do these things? These are not things that my formal education taught me. My years of metaphysics have opened me to the idea that such a destiny, such life tasks are mine to do. How do I get from where I am at to doing the things necessary to carry out my mission? This expression does not seem to be enough. Yes, it is a lot. But, it is not yet reaching sufficient people to bring about change. Further, the foundations for a new world appear to need to be organizations of people committed to providing various services. We've addressed what some of these might be. But, where do I find the others that I need to join me in manifesting this? Some things we cannot do on our own. Some things require joint efforts to create them. The sooner that we realize this, the sooner we can work toward achieving it. Personally, this is a big jump for me. I'm used to being able to do things on my own ... or with spirits help. Working effectively within a group or organization will be a challenge. Just being a group does not necessarily lead to increased productivity or utility of output. It takes work to make this happen. It takes work to draw out the synergy that is present in group endeavors. However, the potential is there. If we do it right, we can literally create magic. Intent is everything. We need to go into our endeavors believing that collectively we can create great things. If fact, the only thing stopping us is the limits that we impose on ourselves. We need to be careful about what limits we accept. Further, we need to realize that there is nothing forcing us to accept them. We can be as free as we choose to be. It would help to turn this expression more into a communication. This would result in a stimulus or trigger to drive further expression. Right now, it still comes out of thin air so to speak. When the stream 104

of consciousness stops ... the expression will stop. It is that simple. I don't really know how to create this of my own. It comes forth from source within me. Nor do I know how long it will continue. Though, it seems that it will do so for so long as consciousness has something to say through me. That could be awhile. Perhaps even the rest of my life. We'll know when we see what unfolds in the years ahead. One day at a time. We do this 365 times and a year will have past. And then 25 times that and we are getting to where I anticipate my lifetime to end. It seems that after 25 years, I will be ready for a major transition. I will have done what I could to carry out my mission. Something that Richard Bach said in Illusions comes to mind ... something to the effect that the test for whether you have completed your mission of not is - if you're alive, you haven't. Those of us who still exist still have things to do.

28 October 2003 Another three days and we will have made it through an entire month without missing a day of musing. It has been awhile since that happened. Something almost always comes up during the month that takes us away from this expression for at least a day. In fact, on average we miss one day out of every ten. That's OK. We'll take whatever comes. If my counting is right, this makes 276 musings out of 301 days. Wow, we've only missed 25 days of expression this year to date. I think that puts us on an even more prolific pace that in 2002. It has definitely been one of those years for expression. And that doesn't address all the book work that we did on the side, preparing eight Beyond Imagination books to be published. And it's not over yet. We have more than two months remaining this year. There is still much to be done. There is still much to be expressed. And, there is the whole issue of promoting what has been expressed to date. This could easily be a full time job. The question is how do I make it that. The bottom line is that when it is meant to be it will be. However, it seems that there should be choices that I could make to help accelerate that. I create my own reality. Yet, I've sort of allowed this to occur via other that conscious processes that I believed were more in tune with what needed to happen in my life than I was consciously. To create your reality consciously you have to want to create something ... you have to be heavily attached to a desired outcome. I've been reluctant to do that. I've been careful not to push my way upon the world. The one primary exception is this expression. Though even here I share in a manner that does not really push. It gives each individual the power to choose what they will consume. Further, they have to seek the material to find it. This can be tough to do if you have no idea that such material as this is even out there. "Wayne Hartman" and "Beyond Imagination" each result in hits at or near the top in several major search engines. But, you would already need to have been exposed to me or the material to know to search for these. Similarly, some of the greetings, closures, and common phrases that I use result in hits. But, these too are specific to the material and it is unlikely that people would be searching for them without prior exposure as well. Do I choose to create my life or do I choose to continue to allow spirit to do it for me? Either way, I am fully responsible for what I experience. The difference is whether we resign our will to Thy Will or not. Yet, at some point are we not evolved enough so that my will and Thy Will are one? At that point, why do I force spirit to continue to do what I can do perfectly well on my own? It seems high time that I stood up and did things for myself. That doesn't mean separating myself from spirit. I can still choose to allow her to express and be a major force in my life. However, it seems that it is time for me to do things to effect the changes that I want to make in the world. We don't have to be receptive all the time. We don't have to accept whatever would be. We can choose to make a masterpiece of our lives and in the process inspire others to do the same. That is what the role of 33: Master Teacher is all about. But we would also be 22: Master Builder and 11: Spiritual Master. There are many roles that I came to play. And, I will play them all before I am through. It is simply a matter of time, and a matter of destiny. We will ensure that we 105

carry out what we know to be our destiny. There is an inner strength that gets tapped that knows not failure. It may not happen in as timely of a manner as we would like it to. But, we need to persevere anyway. This is easier if we know that our success in this is certain. Though, that means having a realistic expectation in this area. Not everyone has the skills to determine their purpose by themselves. That is why there are practitioners of various intuitive disciplines available to help. The Beyond Imagination book discusses some of these in the Know Thyself chapter. Each of us has our place in the scheme of things. If we allow ourselves to, we will gravitate there naturally. However, it is also possible to do things to accelerate the process. It all depends on what we choose to experience. There are many ways to get to the same places. However, the corresponding paths to get to those places will be different resulting in different journeys and different experiences. It seems that it is time to design my life. I've allowed it to follow its own course for far too long. That's OK. Over all the results are good. If I look at 1993 as the midpoint of my life (Age 35) ... then the beginning decade of the second half of my life has been both productive and abundant. Oh, it could be more abundant, much more. But, to be more productive, I either need to find more time to express ... or I need to find other with whom to work in cooperative ways. One way or another, this requires major changes to the way that I currently life my life. I'm open to either alternative, or to a combination of both. The sense is that these changes are coming ... and that they are coming soon. Though, again that may be because such is the outcome that I desire. I've learned to become wary of being attached to outcomes. Things may or may turn out as we picture that they will. There are a lot of factors involved. Sometimes, it seems that it is best to just leave it up to spirit. Yet, we are spirit enfleshed. As such, we have spiritual powers of our own. These are there to be used, not neglected. I'm doing well with keeping to my lifestyle changes. It is challenging ... but generally, once I decide on something, I am good at sticking to it. I need to introduce exercise however. Though, I don't want to push it with my sore foot. One step at a time. Light walking would probably be OK. I still don't like the idea of giving of any writing time. But, I'm not fully using the time for writing anyway. I am still too tired overall. Perhaps the exercise will perk me up so that I can more readily express here. Besides, the walking would give me time to think in a way that I have not done for some time. The process of expressing is very different from that of thinking. Consciousness expresses ... the mind thinks. Consciousness knows, the mind only thinks that it knows. Consciousness is aware ... the mind is stuck in its mechanicalness, unaware of the nature of spirit. I'm finding it difficult to stay awake even though it is still relatively early at 9:30 PM. I am generally awake until 11:00 PM and then listen to music for over half an hour to fall asleep. That makes it very difficult to wake up at 6:30 AM. I'm used to getting at least eight hours of sleep. No wonder I'm having problems staying awake. The numbers don't add up to the requisite amount of sleep right now. I should try falling asleep closer to 10:00 PM and seeing how I feel in the morning. What better time to start than now? That is the only place where we can make any change.

29 October 2003 The days continue to count down toward the end of another month. Two more months and we begin a whole new year. But, that is the distant future at this point. A lot can happen in two months. That's 1/6 of a year. Since we've done what we can to achieve our goals for the year, we are free to do what we want with the remaining expression time this year. I have started Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. But the only thing pushing me to work on these now is me. They were two low-hanging fruit that I thought I could pick and finish relatively quickly ... perhaps even before the end of the year. We have plenty of Beyond Imagination books out already. If it takes a few extra months to get another 106

one, no biggee. If we were seeing people order and read the entire set of books, that would be different. But, as yet, I have no insight as to whether any sales are being made. Part of that is my fault. I'm not doing much to solicit sales. And, what I am doing is definitely not aggressive. I much prefer the soft sell. Let people choose to buy the books if they desire to. At the moment, I have an income that pays the bills. I would like to shift the source of this income so that the work that I love to do pays for my abundance. But, it seems that I am not in control of when that happens. I can only control what I choose to do. Right now, I choose to express what consciousness would have me express. I do that because I can and because I feel that at some level I must. This does not counteract freedom of choice. Rather, it is a sensing of what is the best choice for me at this time. The past week has been relatively light for musings. The opportunity was there to express more, but the desire was not. Perhaps I'm reaching another breakpoint ... another radical shift in my way of being. These happen every now and then. They shock the system but at the same time they bring in whole new energies to be expressed. If I keep on my present course, I will have completed the three books that I have announced as planned for 2004 by the end of January which will result in publishing by April. That means that one month into 2004, everything is wide open. I can literally do anything for the rest of the year. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do. 2002 was the first year of near daily musings. 2003 continued that and added the publishing of eight Beyond Imagination books. At this point, it is not clear what 2004 will bring. Though, there is a strong sense that it will be very different than what has come before. In some respects, I can't wait. Yet, I know that I need to wrap up what I have done this year. I'm close, but I'm not done yet. It is all a matter of focus and putting in the time on this expression. Hmm ... I just got a sense that included a strong shiver in my neck and head, 2004 is to be about finding my place in the world. That feels right. It seems that it is about time for this. This expression can only go on for so long in this manner. At some point it needs to explode to start impacting everything that I do. It seems that we are reaching that point. Even at work, my office is half devoted to work and half the result of Beyond Imagination impinging on all aspects of my life. I have 21 quotes on 8.5 x 11 sheets hanging on the wall. I have seven Beyond Imagination books displayed on my credenza. There are stacks of printed musings and other writings. Yes, it only seems appropriate that I spend some time to find my place in the world. I'm sure that I will be surprised at what I find. However, we don't find anything unless we go looking for it. It seems that I have about two to three months to prepare to go looking. I'm excited by that. I'm ready to engage in a new direction. It is time for me to interact with the world. At this point, it doesn't seem to matter how. There will be many opportunities. I just need to watch for them and jump on them when they come up. Writing has made a tremendous difference in my life. Similarly, publishing the Beyond Imagination books has made a big difference as well. However, neither of these seem to have made a big difference to others, at least so far as I can tell. However, I don't necessarily have the insight to know just what impact the posted writings and the books are having. All that I know is that I was strongly moved to to publish the Beyond Imagination material this year. Whether that was out of the ego desire to be a published author ... or just a natural spiritual direction does not seen to matter. The result will be eight published books in 2003. If I had done nothing else, that would have been a major achievement, especially since all of the words for two of the books, each nearly 600 pages, were generated this year. It seems that there should be a way to know what impact we are having on the world. Otherwise, how do we know what changes to make in our approach and our expression? One way is to allow spirit latitude here. We can allow her to guide us as to where we need to be and what we need to do. Further, we can change our expectations. We can choose to live in a world that provides the feedback we need to be able to see our impact directly. Such a world already exists. We don't even have to create it. We only need to choose to live in it. However, what we expect from the world we need to be willing to give in kind. It is our actions after all that collectively create the feedback within this world. Spirit works through us. That 107

is the only way she can manifest anything in the physical. It is up to us to be receptive to what she would express through us, and then to do it. Yes, Nike's slogan is appropriate "Just Do It!". Received an e-mail announcing that my 7th book was officially published today. I've been waiting for it to happen for over a week and thought something might be wrong. That leaves one to go. I should see the proof copy in two to three more weeks. That should leave plenty of time to get it published before Christmas. For the most part, it is out of my hands. At most, I'll take a week to review the format for any errors and submit my list of corrections. The rest of the time is all the publishers. It takes roughly 3 months from start to finish. The final book for the year was sent to the publisher on 12 September. So, the target date is around 15 December. Actually, this one should be easier since it is a Vol II. No new cover design is required. It all depends on the publishers workload, however. I've done nearly all that I can do. The final step is a quick review. What would I do next? What do I want to do in the twenty-five years that I believe to be the rest of my life? What would I do differently? How would I express differently? What is missing from my life. The single thing that comes to mind is relationships. I have a rich spiritual life, expressing a stream of consciousness for hours per day. But, I have almost no social life. Most of that is due to the choices that I have made. I haven't really developed any social skills. I get along OK with people in general. But, it has not been my preference to be with people. It seems that it is time for that to change. Carrying out my mission requires the interaction with many in very close and deep ways. I can't do that if I remain aloof and stick to my hermit nature. This is a major change for me. But it is one that I am willing to make because I know that it is required. I know what I have experienced to date. And, I know that there is a key element missing. It is not hard to see what this is given how isolated from others I have been for all of my life. Not long ago, I had a difficult time even identifying five people who really knew me enough to cover the past 15 years. I am not one to keep friendships and remain in contact with people one I move on to a new location. Also, I can see how people would have a difficult time getting to know me. They can see how I work. But, seeing who I am is a very different thing. You have only to step in my office to know that. I am not your average engineer ... or your average person. In fact, I take pride in being extraordinary. Then, for me anyway, it seems to work. My overall productivity far exceeds that of most people and in many cases that of several people. OK, that is a personal assessment. But, I believe it to be accurate. At 45, I already have seven published books that come to a total of over 2000 pages. The total expression to date exceeds three million words. Nearly one million of those have been generated in the past two years. We've had over 600 musings during that time of an average of 1600 words per musing. That comes to 960,000 words. Given that we are dealing with round numbers, that is pretty close to a million. $1 per word. That is the going rate for this expression. It will be interesting to see how the universe provides for this. I am doing my part. I am expressing what consciousness would have me express, and I am doing it in a way that is freely shared. The sense is that by doing this voluntarily, I am effectively putting money in the bank that secures my future. In this case, it is effort. However, the laws of compensation say that each action will be compensated in accord with its worth. Unfortunately, there is no place I can send my daily output of words along with a word count and get paid for it. Perhaps some day. But that is not the way the current economy is set up. So instead we generate and publish books. The sales of the books provide a means for the universe, for the collective, to pay for our services. The end of October royalty checks will reflect sales through the end of August. I have no clue as to what to expect. I don't know how many people would be moved to buy the Beyond Imagination books from the few references to them at the Beyond Imagination site. Best Passages from 2002 Musings was available for the entire month and The Early Works from the 7th of August on. Well, we shall see soon enough. Hopefully, we will have seen some sales during that period. In September, three more books were released: 2003 Musings - Vol I on the 4th, and Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2 on the 25th. One area where we have been negligent is announcing what we have done to the world. I must get half a dozen e108

mails a week from companies that specialize in promoting books. With seven published books, perhaps it is time to bite the bullet and pay the $250 to see whether it works or not. The sense is that I won't know unless I do it. One thing that this company offers is an interview with the authors. I read a few of them. It's a nice touch. Somehow, I need to make people aware that I exist and that the Beyond Imagination books exist. This may just do the trick. Or, it is one avenue anyway.

30 October 2003 The streak continues. We're 30 for 30 for the month. That is quite an achievement. You try writing for 23 hours every day for a month. Tomorrow marks the halfway point for the material for 2003 Musings Vol III. The time keeps flying by. It's amazing how fast the weeks go by. Yet through it all, I am much the same. I need feedback and interaction with others to provide a mirror for what I am doing. It is not enough that all of this impacts me. I need to see how it impacts others. Perhaps with such knowledge, I can find ways to express even better. My life is meant to have world import in some way. To do that, it needs to impact people ... and not just a few people. Why is this so important to me? Why is it that my life has to make such a difference? Why can't I live as others live, and be content with enjoying the pleasure of life? What can I say? That is just not my way. I know that I came specifically to perform a mission ... a mission that it is my very destiny to carry out. This is a huge responsibility. But, I am not one to shirk responsibilities ... and definitely not on account of their size. What makes me think that I can do what I know that I must do? I have spent 30 years learning of and developing my gifts and talents. I believe that I am finally ready to employ them earnestly toward the endeavor of creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. That is one of the prime missions for Beyond Imagination. It happens to be a personal mission for me as well. To date, I am Beyond Imagination ... consciousness and me anyway. What makes me think that I can do this? I have a high opinion of myself and my abilities - some might say excessively high, even grandiose. However, being grandiose does not necessarily make it wrong. Besides, someone has to do it. If not me, who? I see that it needs to be done and I believe that I have the abilities to do it ... that is enough for me. I don't need someone to direct what I must do. I can perfectly well decide that for myself, though my preference is to rely on spirit for guidance. Interesting. How does this fly in the context of relationships with others? Will I be willing to take my directions from others? My natural tendency is to lead, not to follow. I am the type to figure out what needs to be done and whom might best do the various things that need to be done. Though, my lifelong isolation has kept me from having much to do with directing resources. Will that change? My sense is that yes, it will. We aren't given talents without being given the opportunity to use and apply them. It is only a matter of time as to when the opportunities will come. That means it is very important to do the self-work necessary to know who we are and to develop our talents as much as we can. The typical way of developing talents is through practice. One of my talents is writing ... in particular, bringing forth stream of consciousness expression. For 22 months, I have been "practicing" nearly everyday for 2 to 3 hours. That is a lot of practice time to commit. However, it is more than practice. In this case, we have captured a record of what has been expressed and we have made that record available on the WWW. In addition, we have been publishing portions of that record at a time. For 2002, we had one book that was a selection of the best passages for the year. For 2003, we have the complete works in three volumes. When we started trying to select best passages for 2003 we found that it was much more difficult than it had been in 2002. So, it made sense to keep the material intact. Also, it provides a more complete portrayal of the quantity and quality of what was expressed this year.

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Are the results of "practice sessions" worth sharing? My answer would be a resounding yes! ... Especially since we are speaking of the stuff of spirit and consciousness. In particular, I am a wayshower, not a performer. A performer practices to ensure that the performance is of the highest quality. However, for a wayshower, practice is more a form of exploration. In my case it is exploration into the domain of the unknowns of consciousness. My challenge is to attempt to convey what I find to others in ways that are useful. They don't have to be perfect. And, they may need to be different for different types of people. How do I know what I find is important to others? Good question. It is so important to me that I just naturally assumed that there are others to whom it would be important as well. How important and to how many others remains to be seen. However, in many respects it doesn't really matter. I will do what I am moved by spirit to do to the best of my abilities. How the universe responds to what is expressed through me is out of my hands for the most part. I can observe the response and decide what to do next to try to achieve a different response. But that comes across as being overly manipulative to me. I would prefer to focus on being the best that I can be. That means being the best conveyance for the expression of spirit in flesh through me. The Beyond Imagination quote for today is interesting: The freedom of belief is far more powerful than the freedom of speech. We are free to belief whatsoever we choose. It helps if our beliefs are of utility and empower us. But, that is something we must choose for ourselves. We are always free to do this. We are far more powerful than most of us know. This is especially true if we've taken the time to establish a relationship with the spiritual source that drives us. Many are unaware that such a source even exists. Further, it "drives us" only if we allow it to do so. Without our agreement, we make its job much harder. It does what it can to provide us with the conditions for our highest growth. But, it can't do it all for us. However, we can choose to allow it to work through us and even express through us. If we have the courage to make this choice, we will find that our life works better. We are more in sync with our own nature. And, spirit working through us can do far more than we can do alone. How can I know this? It is not something that I have been told. I don't think I would have believed it that way. This was something I had to experience firsthand. It took major mental breaks for me to achieve awareness. I don't know if I can help make the process easier for others or not. This growing mountain of words attempts to do that. But it is not clear that any amount of words will be sufficient. Perhaps this is something you just have to experience. At least, you get a different perspective that you can read prior to your experience that attempts to describe things. This is one thing that I didn't have. I was forced to deal with very strange states of mind and states of consciousness with no real preparation for what I was experiencing. Oh, I had 20 years of metaphysical training. Yes, it helped and in the end probably enabled me to survive intact. However, there was nothing that specifically addressed what I was to experience. For instance, I had no basis for knowing that I would not be able to count on the functioning of my mind. Having lived most of my life mentally, this was a huge shock. But spirit is not a mental phenomena. Awareness is not a mental process. We can be aware of the functioning of our mental faculties. Awareness is above and beyond this. It lies in a different dimension ... a spiritual dimension. There is a sense of urgency. There is something that I need to do now. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm sure that it will come to me. It seems that I am at a crossroads again. We reach another 7 year point at the job in two weeks. Though, we have only lived at our present home for 6 of those 7 years. It took a year to sell our previous house in Monterey. This year, we have put into play the forces that can lead to our liberation. However, it isn't likely to happen overnight. Not unless we can convince someone that what I can do for them is worth far more than my present employer pays me. Unfortunately, I have no clue as to where to go to find such a person or organization. Though, I haven't thought in these terms for very long ... with the exception of thinking about a personal benefactor. I've heard of such people existing. And, it's 110

not like I'm asking for a handout. I expect to deliver, and deliver a lot for whatever income I am given. And, until I find the right situation ... or until the Beyond Imagination books start selling in sufficient numbers to meet my financial needs; there is always my present job. I can do it as long as is necessary. But, there is a strong feeling that something is missing. The satisfaction is just not there. Staying focused for 40 hours per week is becoming more and more difficult. Much of this is because I know that there is so much more that I could be doing. The job is only tapping a part of my abilities. However, I just got a new boss. So, the potential is there for this to be remedied. Perhaps, with the right emphasis we can make the job both more challenging and more fun. I'm missing that element. The fun just isn't there. At one time golf was a major part of my life ... taking 6-7 hours per weekend, and sometimes that long on two days. I loved it. Further, I was good at it ... basically a bogie golfer averaging 88-92 on most rounds. Golf is the only game I know of where a 250 yard drive counts the same as a one inch tap in. For me, golf was a training ground for the imagination and the intuition. It takes trust to hit a golf ball consistently ... especially for the once per week golfers. Visualization was crucial to imagine how a shot would fly. Intuition was required in choosing the right club to get the ball close to the hole. Both visualization and intuition were required to "read" the green when putting. I remember in 1993 thinking that every sport, every activity was providing training for skills that would somehow be needed at some time. Professional golfers were developing particular parts of their bodies and brains to excel at specific tasks. The mass consciousness was learning from all of this activity. In fact, the mass consciousness learns from everything that any individual learns. Further, it is not limited to conscious learning. It knows what is happening subconsciously and superconsciously as well. Actually, we need to reconsider our views of individuals. They are not the distinct entities that many believe. Rather, we are more like parts of the body. We have fingers, hands, wrists, arms, elbows, shoulders, torsos, necks, heads, ears, eyes, a nose, a mouth, legs, feet, ankles, toes. In addition, we have all of the internal organs. Individuals are as different as all of these parts. Yet, they are parts of the same one body, the one consciousness that animates us all. It is interesting that fingers side by side on one hand might consider themselves to be brethren but bear no known relationship to their counterparts on the other hand even though many of their aspects are identical. Introverts probably correspond to the internal organs. Extroverts deal directly with the world as does the outer part of the body. Introverts experience things very differently. They rely far more on intuition and inner feelings to guide their actions. They have a direct knowingness, a wisdom that comes from being connected to a source within.

31 October 2003 We did it! 31 for 31 ... an entire month of daily musings. That happened a few times in 2002. I don't remember earlier streaks this year. Why October? Who knows? We do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it. While the energy is right for musing, we muse. What causes us to miss days here and there is still a mystery. All that I know is that it happens. On average, one out of every ten days we miss a musing. Often these missed days occur consecutively. I don't feel bad about it. That still gives us around 330 musings a year totaling around half a million words. Not too shabby for a part time endeavor! How much more could I express if we made this full time? I don't really know. I can see putting in six solid hours of writing per day. But, I can't see much beyond that being effective. Besides, who would read 1.5-2.0 million words of new expression from me each year? I would read it. But, who else would do so? Surely this is not all being done for me alone. We had a pleasant surprise from the publisher awaiting us last night. Book eight for the year ... 2003 Musings - Vol II had arrived for my final proofing and approval. There were a couple of minor errors on the back cover which I asked to be corrected. With those exceptions, I approved the book today. If all

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goes right, we should see it formally published by Thanksgiving, not Christmas ... over three weeks earlier than originally expected. The royalty check from the publisher didn't arrive yet. I'm anxious to see if there were any sales of Best Passages in August. The only way I have to get any insight into sales is through the publishers accounting forms. They should be here any day now. I'm curious as to what the universe is going to do now that I've done my part and published the Beyond Imagination books. Perhaps a lot, perhaps nothing. Probably something in between. It is not yet clear what my role will be in promoting the books now that they've been published. Here, it seems that I need to do something as well. Who better to promote the works than the one through whom they came. Note, I did not say the one who created them. While I am the author, there is definitely a force greater than I am that contributed to all of this. This expression would not have been possible without consciousness herself being there to express through me. I'm getting nearly 200 hits per month to my main page. If five percent buy a book, that would be ten book sales in a month. "Don't quit your day job". At that rate it will take years to pay back the cost of publishing and this was relatively minimal. So, what do I need to do to get the word out? How do we get people to visit Beyond Imagination? We offer thousands of pages of metaphysical expression for free. There are no ads and no commercials. There is just the stream of consciousness expression that we have been moved to create since our spiritual awakening in 1993. How do we invite people to our world? And, how do we get them to choose to be part of creating a community? Yes, that is one of my toughest challenges. How does a loner engage the world ... and do so in a big way? If I had a little part to play, things might be much simpler. But, I chose a grand role ... or, I believe I did anyway. And, I would do what it takes to play that role. Yes, whatever it takes. I am committed. Hmm ... it seems that such is exactly what it will take to make people aware of Beyond Imagination. I have shown that such is my intent. I have made nearly all of the expression available at the Beyond Imagination site. I did this with the idea that the line from Field of Dreams was accurate: If you build it, they will come. It seems that this wasn't quite correct, at least not as correct as I had hoped. By now I would have expected we would have had far more visitors than we have had. Also, I would expect at least a linear growth curve if not a nonlinear one. But, that has not happened. For whatever reason, the main page at the Beyond Imagination site logs about 2000 hits per year. That comes to nearly seven per day. Further, this has been pretty constant for over 8 years. Given how many people are interested in spirituality or metaphysical / new age topics that is literally a drop in the bucket. We clearly are not reaching very many folks. Hmm ... how do we reach more people? You would think free information would be enticing enough ... especially a lot of it. However, how do we make people aware that we even exist and have such information? We are not really talking about advertising. Though if people like what they find, it would be nice if they purchased some of the Beyond Imagination books. However, that is a choice for them to make. They will have seen much of the material in the books so they will know exactly what they are getting. We are talking about introducing, announcing, promoting and the like. When we have something valuable to share it is worth the effort to make others aware by whatever means are available. This is different than selling ... this is sharing. Hopefully, we can enlist those who find the Beyond Imagination expression of value to further share the good news with others. Alone, there are so many people that I can touch. But if those I touch in turn touch others who touch others ... the numbers can grow very quickly. If you are reading this and find this expression to be of value, please share of its existence with those you know who might benefit as well. Sharing. That's what it's all about. Sharing what we know. Sharing who we are. We may thing that we retain power by hoarding information and keeping things secret. But, those who are truly powerful know that the key is to freely share. Something magnificent happens when we do this. The force of spirit 112

moves through us to create wonders. Our lives start to mean something significant. We realize that we are far more than we ever knew ourselves to be. That is because we are far more than that. In fact, we are far more than we can even imagine. As spirit in flesh, we are wise beyond all years. We just need to get in touch with our innate wisdom. We can do that. We can live a life of spirit. It is not difficult to do. However, it takes dedication and discipline. We have to want to do it. We have to be willing to make choices consistent with living such a life. One such choice is to be the best that we can be at all times. We know when we are doing this. We cannot fool ourselves.

1 November 2003 Wow! The start of a new month. It will be interesting to see what it brings. As we come closer to the end of the year, the sense is even stronger that more of the same is not in the cards for 2004. I don't know what is in store, but my sense is that I will be pleased by it. It seems that we will finally start to reach significant numbers of people in meaningful ways. Perhaps we already are and just don't know it. Next year, it seems that we will know it. Why should that be? March 5, 2004 will mark the 11th anniversary of the birth of this expression. 11 is a master number. So, perhaps that is appropriate. But that is still over four months away. We are not meant to plan that far ahead. One thing this expression has taught me is to take things one day at a time and trust that if we take care of the moment properly, then the future will take care of itself. It is amazing how much creativity can be unleashed in the moment. Further, it is amazing what we can do if we just do it. Too many people have excuses for not taking action ... for not expressing themselves ... for not being all that they can be. However, this is a choice that we make in the moment. Further, we can only make it in the moment. The difference we make in our lives and in the world happens because of what we choose to do ... not because of what we choose to think or even believe. These later two are not enough. We must be willing to take action in accord with what we believe. That is what confirms that we are serious. Otherwise, we are only paying lip service. As a wayshower, it is extremely important that I live as I believe. I need to demonstrate a consistency in my life that is beyond other men. You might say that I hold myself accountable to a higher standard than most. And, indeed I do. This was not something imposed on me from the outside as I grew up. I always knew that I was different and that what applied to me did not necessarily apply to others. That has made for an interesting life. I don't know if my experiences were easier or more difficult than others. I had very few others to compare them to. I know that one of my sisters and my brother have had far more difficult lives than I have. My sister was diagnosed as bipolar after I asked her to get tested after my diagnosis in 1993. She had been suffering with the symptoms since the mid-70's ... over 18 years without any help. My brother was diagnosed with some serious mental disorders as well after attempting to take his own life. It seems that mental illness runs in the family. We have it in at least four generations that we know of. Though, for me this is not an illness. The mania allows me to soar. I still experience all of this as a spiritual awakening on a grand scale. It doesn't matter whether others see it that way or not. In particular, the doctors seem to still be in the dark. Though, I did give my psychiatrist a copy of my first book last week. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to what she reads. That is one way to "advertise". I can give out copies of my books to people. Though, I don't know that many people. Most of those I am acquainted with are at work ... and I don't know enough about them for the most part to know if they would even be interested. That is a sad state of affairs. It seems that it is time that we remedy this. However, it takes an investment of time. Am I willing to make that investment? Right now, I'm not sure. Perhaps that is part of the problem. Relationships require investments of time in people. This is time that I currently spend in other ways. Is it worth it to change? I would hope that the answer would be yes. Being alone most of the time is not necessarily the best way to live ones life. Then again, I'm a solitary person ... a hermit by nature. Or, am I? What I have experienced to date is not necessarily what I am, especially since fear issues have been involved. 113

Interesting. So, what do I want to do? How do I want to express? How do I want to live? How do I want to work? It is up to me to define these things. Until I decide, I will not know what changes and corrections need to be made. We decide these things. They are not thrust on us by circumstance. We create the circumstances that we face in life. We bring them into our lives primarily by what we believe. I was going to say choose to believe but it is not clear that this is a conscious process of choice for many. That does not change the reality. Even if other than conscious parts of us are doing it ... it is still us choosing. Further, we are responsible for those choices. We create our own reality. We do it both consciously and other than consciously. It has been thus forever. We are spirit expressing in flesh, spirit having a physical experience. There is a purpose for this. There is something being gained by all of this expression. The purpose is spiritual however; and many, including most of those involved in science, do not relate. That is OK. Things will change in due time. We live in a spiritual world. More and more this will become apparent, so much so that even scientist and engineers won't be able to ignore it. How can I know this? I don't really know why this expression comes forth as it does. Much of it is in the declarative. There is no rationale or proof offered for what is expressed. It is assumed that the veracity is obvious and will strike a chord within you. I know that it does that for me. It didn't take long before I stopped questioning what came forth. This, despite the fact that it is sometimes wrong. However, this is generally for things that I have a desire for a particular outcome and areas where time to manifestation is involved. It seems that the things that I want to happen in the world take far longer than I would hope and expect. In some cases years longer ... many years. The bottom line is that it is not for me to set that timing. That is for spirit to define. It will naturally be unveiled over time. What I can do is be as productive as I can within the overall plan that spirit is revealing. The past two years have been particularly productive ... this year in a more outward way. Publishing books is an extroverted action. I don't yet do many of these. However it seems that this is starting to change. Promoting books is quite extroverted as well. You have to put yourself out there and interact. It seems that I am ready. I've done my homework long enough. It's time to take the test if you will.

2 November 2003 The streak continues into another month. It was a very busy day working on the house. We're putting a wood floor in another bedroom. It's a lot of work, but it does look good. When this room is done we only have two small rooms left to have completely done the whole house. My foot is starting to bother me again. It seems that I was too active for it today. Oh well. It can rest again this week. Enough for the mundane chatter. What would we have to say that is profound today? What would we say that is worth the cost of admission as they say? With this stream of consciousness format, we never really know what is coming next. At any moment something magnificent might come forth. But clearly, it does no do so all of the time. It is not clear that we could keep up with it if it did. There are many things that others have already said, but we would be original. I like to make sure that in each musing there is at least one new quotable passage and preferably many each day. We can only ensure that be expressing until such words come forth. They will. We have over ten years of experience of this to confirm it. Consciousness does indeed come through and she is an original character. There is nothing like her as far as I can tell. I would be whom that I am and no other. I would do as I am moved by spirit to do when she so moves me. I have chosen to live a live of spirit. This choice is of my own free will. Also, I can't imagine living life in any other way. Then again, what is right for me may or may not be of utility to you. That you will have to judge for yourself. You can't expect to be told everything. You have a brain. Some things you are meant to figure out yourself. Consciousness doesn't tell us everything. It seems that some things we have no need to know. And consciousness definitely doesn't do everything for us ... though there is a lot that she can express through us if we allow her to. We are the instruments through which consciousness expresses. It helps to be the grandest instrument that we can be. Then again, I tend to be a wee bit 114

grandiose at time. OK, a lot grandiose. There is nothing wrong with that if you are able to deliver. So far we have been successful beyond imagination. Then again, success in my eyes may not be the same as success in yours. And, in this area there is no impartial assessment to apply. Do something to make a positive difference in others lives and in the world. Find a way to make a difference. In the long run that is ultimately what counts. When we have long since returned dust to dust ... it will be the differences that we have made that will remain. Some of these will remain only in the minds and hearts of those we touch. But others will be recorded as historic events. Do I see what I do in that light? Not yet, but perhaps someday. Right now, I am content to do what I am moved to do. That includes giving consciousness this time to express on a near daily basis. Are there others that do what I do? Not that I am aware of ... at least not in the same manner. I find it difficult to believe that I could be so unique and alone in how I express. My way of life has allowed me to read over 1000 metaphysical books. To date, I have not found anything that I would consider to be like what I express. That is OK. Perhaps that means this expression has a place in the world. There is some reason that it comes forth as it does. There is some reason that I was moved to publish much of the work. I'm still anxious to see whether the books have started to sell. Though, whether they have or not, I still stand by my decision to publish them. If they are meant to sell ... they will. I just need to do what I can to facilitate getting the word out. The books stand on their own. I've been a bit negligent regarding Beyond Mind. I haven't really worked on it in several weeks. Time has a way of getting away from me if I allow it to. For part of that time, it was a struggle to complete the daily musing. I didn't feel like putting in the extra time to do more. Part of that came from a need for sleep and part from a need for entertainment. Even I can't work all of the time, try though I might. At some point, enough is enough. We have to accept that. Though, most of us will find what we are capable is far more than we believed possible. We are grand beings. We need to realize that and act as if we truly believed it. Too many of us limit who we are and what we express as a result. However, all of these limits are self-imposed. We can choose to change such limits. But, we need to recognize that we have accepted such limits to begin with. What we don't realize, we can't change. Beliefs are our springboards to a new life if only we use them as such. They are powerful tools for reality creation. I needed to hear that now. What beliefs do I need to adopt to bring me to a new life? It seems that the key area is the role of people in my life. The right people are critical to carrying out my mission. There are kindred spirits that my life is meant to touch. We will work together to accomplish great things. It is not that they will necessarily join in carrying out my mission; rather we will assist one another in carrying out each others mission.

3 November 2003 Another day, another musing. It will be interesting to see how long this lasts. Though, I have a personal trip for a day on Friday and a business trip for a few days later this month that might keep me from expressing. That is OK. There are other things that I can do with my time to promote Beyond Imagination. One of my coworkers was asking about a short introduction or primer to the Beyond Imagination expression. He thought many people might be pushed away by the sheer volume of material. Five of our eight books are over 500 pages. The other three are 280, 350, and 450 pages. Overall, we have over 2800 pages of material. That is a lot. Do I really expect people to read that much? I don't really know what I expect. When the expression came forth, there was no audience in mind. Even when I was packaging it into books, there still was no audience in mind. There was simply a knowingness that this was something that I had to do. I am grateful for having done it. There is a great sense of accomplishments to see the line of eight books displayed on the credenza in my office. To know I did all of that ... yes, with spirits help of course. But, all of that came through me! 115

It is also interesting that the covers by date of material in each book are in spectrum order starting with dark blue/purple, then blues, the greens, then yellow, then red/orange, and ending with reddish brown. It is curious that my internet service provider since I generated the Beyond Imagination site eight years ago is Redshift. The book covers suggest just that, a redshift ... a shift to red, a shift to the heart. Interesting. That sent shivers through my head, shoulders and upper body. That is usually a strong sign that I've encountered a deep spiritual truth. What next? Given what has been expressed and accomplished in the past two years, what would I do next? I still have at least three books to do for 2004 and I'll definitely do the introduction to Beyond Imagination even sooner than that. I need it to be able to promote the Beyond Imagination site and the Beyond Imagination books effectively. It is amazing how legitimate needs can drive us to do whatever it takes to fill them. For many, it seems that they don't even have to be legitimate needs. Any needs are capable of making people do things that they believe will satisfy the need. It doesn't even matter if satisfaction occurs. The belief that it does, or even that it could, is often enough. This can result in people doing many harmful things, both harmful to themselves and to others. Drugs are a particular case in point that can do grave damage. How do we make peoples lives better so that they don't have to resort to such substances? I believe that is something that we can do and that we should do. The social infrastructure needs to reform into something supportive that enables people to be all that they can be and that encourages them to express fully for the good of themselves and others. Some might argue that it already permits this. There is already the opportunity to rise and be all that we can be. Unfortunately, this does not seem true for many. Yes, some are able to rise and lead abundant lives. However, there are many that do not do this. One could argue that they are not applying themselves. But, here is where I believe that the social infrastructure should help. It should help pick up those who have fallen for whatever reason and help put them on the track that is right for them. To do that, we need to treat people as the unique individuals that they are and take advantage of their unique gifts and talents. When we do so, we will find that society works better as well ... because the collective useful productivity is increased. We need to measure our actions and policies as a society by what they do to the collective as well as to individuals. I finally heard back from the site that promotes books and publishers. I am seriously considering signing up for their services. It is another $250 out of pocket ... but at this point promotion is far more important than generating additional books. I need to make people aware of the Beyond Imagination site and books, in that order. If I expose people to the expression, they can decide on their own whether they want to purchase it or not. The expression is meant to reach people ... I know it. And, if it reaches them, it will move them. Yes, I am confident about this. I trust that since the material moves me, its quality is such that it will move others. The limited feedback that I have received to date indicates that this is so. The material has reached some people and made a meaningful difference in their lives. Surely, there are more who could be impacted positively. The expression exists. It is available on the internet and in books. It is a matter of attracting those who are meant to find it to it. We could leave this to chance, but that does not seem to be an effective way to do things. That leaves promoting. What do we want to do in this area? How personally involved do we want to get? At this point, it seems that we can turn this into something fun. We have a reason for engaging others. I spent a little time generating a brief introduction to Beyond Imagination. It provides information about me, about Beyond Imagination, about the Vision, about the expression and the books, and a representative sample of quotes. It comes to about 4.5 pages, a good size for promotional material. It's substantial, but not overpowering. It is something easy to print and reproduce. It was actually fun putting it together. It required a different kind of creativity than used for this expression. We need to spice things up on occasion. We do that by changing our habitual patterns of expression. In this case, that was triggered from an external suggestion. Though, I didn't know that I was going to satisfy it in one day. And, my initial thought was that a dozen pages was the target length. I'm happy with what I put together however. I needed something like this. It is unlike anything that I have done before. I have it both in a web page 116

format and a Word document. The later prints much better. It is interesting. Major section breaks happened to occur at page boundaries. It is as if the format was destined to be this way somehow. Why should that surprise me? Things like that happen all of the time. In many ways, it seems that my life is about destiny unfolding. It just happens. I just allow it to happen. Consciousness continues to express and create as she will ... and I am ever amazed. Why me? Why is all of this expressed through me? Clearly, it must be because I am able and willing to do it. Yet, what will come of it? What impact will all of this expression have on anything? Will I live long enough to see it? The sense is that the impact will be felt soon. Then again, soon is relative and many things that I thought would happen soon back in 1993 still haven't manifested. The saying don't hold your breath comes to mind. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter. It will happen when it happens. It is not for me to focus on outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. I can only do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.

4 November 2003 Two plus thirty-one plus four brings us to 37 straight musings and counting. It is good to be in the midst of a streak. It says there is something important about the continuity of expression. Thursday is going to be difficult, however. I just don't see how there will be enough time in the day to write. But, we'll see what unfolds. Where there is a will, there is a way. If the streak is meant to continue, there will indeed be a way. I just have to allow for it to happen. Friday might be just as difficult as well if we go out of town. Oh well ... it was a good run while it lasted. There is always longhand expression. It is more challenging. But, it is a possibility. The new introduction page came out pretty good if I have to say so myself. One comment I got back was that the first paragraph is too personal and might scare people off. It was suggested to take a more clinical approach to the introduction ... focusing on the fact that I am a professional with information to share based on research and personal experience. I'm finding it a bit difficult to think in those terms, but I think the feedback was good and had a solid basis in introducing the teachings of the Mormon Church to newcomers. He said it typically took four to five sessions before people were prepared to get into the teachings of the church. Are my writings any different? Do we need to introduce people to them slowly? Perhaps we do. Though, of late it seems that exposure to the material is picking up. It is at least twice what it was a year ago, perhaps significantly more. Also, it is not clear why the index page is getting more hits than the main page. Oh well, it is what it is. We are happy to be reaching more folks in any event. Though the numbers are still relatively low. We're talking ten hits per page per day. That is nothing compared to what it could be. But it is a start. And, it beats 3-5 hits per page per day. I only have counters on four pages. There is no way to tell what the overall traffic at the site is. For that, I would need a different kind of account and would have to move too many pages. In many cases, I hardwired the links so moving the site would take significant work. There must be over 800 files (pages) at the Beyond Imagination site. So, what am I going to do? Am I going to change the introduction to reflect the feedback received? Part of me is reluctant to do that. What makes me unique and different is how freely and openly I share information that many might consider too personal. I do it as an example of the level of sharing that I would like to see in society. In many respects, it is part of whom that I am. Yet, on the other hand, is it necessary to get into that in the very first paragraph of an introduction? Perhaps that is a bit too much. There are many other places at the site that already address this. Is there a different way that I would express who I am and what I have done over the past decade? In particular, a way that focuses on what value that has for the prospective reader? That seems to be what we are looking for. Hmm ... it all 117

depends on who I am trying to reach. It seems that I should keep this as wide open as I can. Once people are introduced to the Beyond Imagination material, they can decide what value it has in their lives. However, if we don't lead people to the material ... how can they experience it? Clearly that is part of my responsibility. As the generator of the expression it is my job to see that it gets to whom it is meant to touch. That requires doing things different than I have done. That's OK. I'm ready to do some new and different things. How do I reach more people? What do I need to do to open this up by orders of magnitude? Am I ready for the increase in correspondence that this will bring into my life? Yes, I believe that I am ready. Further, I believe this is what I am meant to do. This is part of my mission, part of my destiny. In many respects, I have no choice but to do it. At least, I would not choose otherwise. Choice and free will are interesting phenomena. It seems that the further that we go on the spiritual path, the more automatic our choices become. We find there is only one right choice for us and that that choice is obvious. Yes, we could choose not to do it ... but that would only bring added turmoil into our life. It is easier to go with the flow and do what spirit has laid out for us. Actually, we are creating our own reality, so we have a big role in laying out these choices as well. Doing what is right should be natural. It is not even something that one has to think about. We just do it. Unfortunately, many do not seem to be evolved enough and aware enough to do this yet. All in good time. I don't consider this to be a restriction of my freedom in any way. I simply apply my freedom in other areas of my life. Even this expression is destined. It is a stream of consciousness that I have no real control over. About the most I can do is turn it on and off by giving it time in my life. Occasionally, I do things to influence the flow but I'm not completely sure of how that occurs or when it will occur. Part of it seems to be driven by things that I have on my mind. But, I'm not really in control of those either. The bottom line is that the expression is a mystery, and will probably always remain so. I can live with that. Mysteries are good. They humble us. They leave us in awe of the power of spirit operating in our lives and our world. Oh, if only I could do this fulltime. I just need to figure out how to earn my living doing so. All in good time. You are not meant to be locked in an office without windows forever. You will be free of this. You can count on that. As to when ... when the time is right. We know, you would prefer that this would be now. However, you need to allow things to unfold naturally. That doesn't mean that you don't need to do your part. In fact, you have a major role to play in manifesting your own destiny. But, you already know that. You've known it for some time. But, the time is drawing near. Finally, after all these years we stand on the threshold of a dream, the threshold of massive changes. How much of this can I believe? Yes, it comes forth through me. But, how can I know that it is correct? My sense is that it is as correct as I can bring forth at this moment. No, that does not make it absolutely correct. However, there aren't a whole lot of absolutes in life. We do the best we can with whatever we are able to express. That is all that can be expected of us ... to do our best. Spirit demands no more and no less. Though, she is lenient even when we don't live up to our own highest standards. Forgiveness is a major part of her way. It needs to be a major part of our way as well. After all, if spirit does not need to judge ... what right have we to do so? Acceptance and allowance are very important. We need to accept people for who they are and we need to allow them to be whom that they are. It is not our place to change them. Though, we can offer guidance as we share of whom that we are. Sharing is extremely important. It allows us to learn from one another and benefit from each others experience. We are all going through this collective experience of living together. It doesn't matter how separate or individual we experience things. At some level, we melt into the collective from which we were spawned. We always remain intricately linked into the collective. Sometimes we are even consciously aware of the connection. Usually, it is a transcendental type of experience. We are aware of ourselves to be far more than we ever were before. Unfortunately, this experience doesn't usually last very long. Brief moments seem to be all that we get. But these are the times when we are literally touched by spirit. 118

5 November 2003 The count continues to grow. Though, in many ways it does not matter. We muse when we can muse. Sometimes that happens for long consecutive strings of days ... sometimes it doesn't. Whatever gets expressed is what is meant to be expressed. I have no reason or need to second guess it. I've been doing this long enough to know that spirit is in command here. She determines what will flow and how it will flow. Yes, she uses my faculties to do this. However, this is not forced upon me in any way. I freely choose to participate. I volunteer to serve in this particular way. It would help to know more about who is served by this expression and how. Feedback is highly important but seldom provided for the things that we do ... especially the most important things. It seems that is just the way that life is. No, it doesn't have to be that way. We, collectively, could choose to make it different. But that means taking responsibility and taking action. I'm listening to some tapes by Ram Dass on Spiritual Awakening. I was amazed at how much of what he said I understood even though our paths have been so different. Ram Dass has been exposed to many of the best spiritual teachers on the planet. I have been self-taught ... experiencing awakening firsthand without the help of anyone to guide me through the process. Yet, the reality we encountered was quite similar ... the oneness amidst the separation. Perhaps in another 15 years, I will be comfortable enough to speak as he does to an audience. But then, he's been doing this for 40 years. It is part of his nature. It does not seem to be a part of mine. I have other things to do with my life. Though to be a wayshower, I have to demonstrate and share my way with others. However, even there I have to do it my own way. I would not live my life as others live theirs. I am a unique manifestation of the one, of consciousness herself. I would be true to whom that I AM. That means doing the things that I know that I came to do. It doesn't matter whether others are doing similar things or not. I know what it is that I must do. At some level, I know. Lately, that involves living in the moment and doing what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. Spirit herself is doing the moving ... so I know that the actions that result are indeed the correct ones for me at this time. It takes courage to live in this way and faith. We are ever risking losing ourself. But that is not such an awful thing to lose. For, it is only through losing our self that we find our greater Self. Another benefit from the Ram Dass tapes is the realization that I am not alone. There are others, many others, that have had spiritual awakening experiences. Clearly Ram Dass is one of these. It is not clear how many that he is speaking to have had such experiences as well. Though, I would guess the percentage would be fairly high because of the self-selected nature of the group and the subject of the talks. It would be nice to be able to compare experiences ... not to measure one against another, but to see the spectrum of experiences and some of the similarities and differences. Operating alone for so long, this is one perspective that is desperately missing. Will it be filled anytime soon? I can always hope. The bottom line is that it will be filled in when it needs to be filled in, not until. There is no forcing anything to happen. Spirit doesn't work that way. And, that doesn't seem to work for me either. The preferred way is to allow things to unfold in our life. Spirit will determine what "things" are right. We don't have to do that consciously. Though there are people who are planners ... who prefer to plan what will happen and when and then align their actions in accord with their plans. That is one way to live. However, that is clearly not the only way. And, it is definitely not my way. We need to watch against anything that is considered to be the way rather than a way. Where do we go to share? ... to share our experiences? ... to share our knowingness? ... to share our awareness? ... to share whom that we are? After all, that is what living is ultimately all about ... sharing! It is not what we possess that counts. It is what we give, especially of ourselves. One of the most important things in life is to live in a manner that makes a positive difference to others. These others 119

may be family, friends, coworkers, or even strangers. It doesn't matter. What matters is that we make a positive difference. Then, we can say our live was truly worth something. It was not just about me and getting what I want. Though many still live such selfish lives. However, this is starting to change, albeit slowly. The Aquarian Age is about the WE generation. This is an inclusive plural focus where the collective good is given its due consideration in our actions. However, while the shift has occurred for some of us ... it has not occurred on a massive scale yet. It will. The transition of the age is soon to be. Yesterday's Beyond Imagination Quote for the Day was particularly good: To create a masterpiece of our lives, we must work with the paints of beliefs. These are the building blocks that result in everything that we see and experience. Sometimes I am just blown away by what is expressed here. How could such beauty flow forth? Actually, I can probably find at least one such quote for every day of expression. However, sometimes the words are just more special than at other times. Each day brings its own special grace. There is a sense that my life is orchestrated now, in a way that it has never been before. Only, it does not seem to be me that is the conductor or director. I am playing a role that I chose to play. This includes evolving to carrying out a mission that is mine to carry out. How do I do this? How do I create/attract the circumstances necessary to carry out my mission. Do I even need to do so ... or will it simply manifest because it is destined to? Can it be that easy? It can if we allow it to be. I was talking to someone about the economics of doing a seminar. It seems that with as few as 20 people at $200 per day per person, a seminar could be quite profitable. How many days could I engage an audience? I think I could easily fill between a weekend and four days. Though, I need to come up with some exercises that bring some of the points home. 20 people x 2 days x $200 = $8000. I only need to do 20 seminars to replace my present income and benefits. There is nothing to limit this to 20 people. We could just as easily speak to a group of 40 or 50. Though, there is some benefit in starting small. The environment would be more intimate and we could get into some one on one, small group, and question & answer time. I don't have all the answers. No one does. But, we can probably come up with something workable with our collective experience. So, what do we need to do to manifest something like this? We can't tell how successful we'll be until we attempt to do it. First, it seems we need some credibility. Eight published books gives me that. I need enough people to be exposed to the Beyond Imagination material so that a reasonable number would desire to have contact with me personally. We're not talking thousands here. We're talking 20 people at a time for a two day commitment, and that could even be done on a weekend. Yes, this is definitely worth pursuing. We may need to give some free talks to expose people to the Beyond Imagination expression as it comes through us. But, that is OK. Whatever it takes. I need to design a lifestyle that is fun. I am tired of being bored. It is time to create a masterpiece of my life. How can I be a wayshower unless I do this? How can I expect others to create masterpieces of their lives unless I show them that it is indeed possible? That is part of why I am here. This is one area where I have control. It is all a matter of adopting the right beliefs. The bottom line is that I can do anything I set my heart and mind on. This rules out a lot of things because either my heart or my mind is not committed to them. However, this leaves all those things that truly matter.

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I haven't done this for awhile. It is 5:00 AM. I just couldn't sleep any longer. So, we'll get our musing in for the day even before we head to work. I've been going to bed about an hour earlier than normal so that I can get to work a little earlier. But, this was unexpected. In fact, I was a little concerned that I might not even be able to muse today. But, here we are, at 39 straight and counting ... with no end immediately in sight. There is something right about doing this. I have found my place somehow. Though, more and more, expressing alone is not enough. I am moved to reach people and to impact them in a meaningful way. I have a strong need to make a difference in peoples lives and on a larger scale to the whole world. Yes, this is grandiose of me. I know that. However, that doesn't change what I believe that I am destined to do. I have accepted that I am subject to a fate that I would not fight or deny. My way is one of acceptance of why I am here ... and then being resigned to do it willingly. How many people can say that at 45? ... or even ever in the course of their lives? The days continue to march on one after another. And, as they do my life unfolds step by step. I am not given to see the overall plan except in the most general of terms. As a result, I live my life one step at a time. After each step, it becomes apparent what the next step will be. My path is made up of the series of steps that I take. Rarely do I ever have to back up and take a different path. In fact, I don't remember the last time that was necessary. Though I have done some things that seem to have gone nowhere. However, there was never enough feedback to know what the real impact was. I can feel myself becoming more open and willing to take risks associated with that. That comes from a deep faith in spirit and the fact that I know that it is spirit expressing through me now. My life is primarily about the expression of spirit in flesh. That is to the degree that one who has effectively isolated himself from society can so express. That doesn't seem to stop this expression from occurring. In fact, it seems to enable it. Though, what works for me may or may not work for others. Most are far more sociable than I am and need society in their life. My sense is that I do as well ... but, it just hasn't been there to date. What makes me go on so? What makes me continue to express day after day, month after month, even year after year? The bottom line is that there is something that consciousness would express through me. I have to believe that this is for a purpose, that there is an intended audience for all of this. At this point, it does not matter that I know not who that might be. Such will be revealed in time. Hopefully that time is to come soon. But, whether it does or not seems to be out of my hands. Fate. I strongly believe that there is a destiny for each of us and that fate will take us to that destiny one way or another. It helps if we cooperate. But, we will get there even if we choose to fight it. It is always easier to go with the flow. But, that is a choice that is for us to make ourselves. We just have to live with such choices. Then again, it is not clear that such "choices" are really choices at all. How do we not know that we are not making the choices that we are destined to make. As we make them, it feels like we have options and alternatives ... but do we really have them? My sense is that there is no way for us to know one way or the other. What does believing in free will and freedom of choice buy us then? Does it empower us in anyway? Or, does it restrict us? There is a saying: None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free. It conveys a great truth. If we are going to believe that we are free, we need to be very careful that we are not deceiving ourselves. We need to be sure that we are not enslaving ourselves by our beliefs. This is true for beliefs in general, not just those regarding our freedom. Beliefs are the garden through which we grow our reality. The filter what we see and what we experience. Many people have not tended to their gardens hence they have extensive weeds. Unfortunately, unlike with our gardens at home ... we can't hire someone to pull the weeds. This is something that we must do ourself or it simply won't be done. However, we are not likely to do it if we are unaware that it even needs to be done. This is one area where the education system has failed us, if my experience is indicative anyway. In 21 plus years of formal education through a Masters degree, never once do I remember beliefs and belief systems being addressed. Reality creation was never mentioned either. Yet, in metaphysics ... the fact that we create our 121

own reality through our beliefs is nearly self-evident. How can one domain of life understand this implicitly while another domain ignores it completely? It just doesn't make any sense. Yet, it seems that more and more people are becoming dissatisfied with the status quo. They are reaching out for something more wherever they can find it. And, these days that is not so hard to do. The intuitive disciplines offer much help. They don't have all of the answers and they aren't repeatable and "scientific", but that doesn't really matter. They have utility ... that is all that matters. And, their cost is quite reasonable for what they provide. What would I do next? That is ever on my mind. What is the next opportunity to explore? What is the next step on my path? How do I expand this expression so that it has more impact ... both in terms of impact on those it already touches and by touching more people? I believe strongly in what I am doing and what I am expressing. Ultimately, I believe this will have world import. Though, I don't know how long that might take. I would prefer to see it in my lifetime ... but that may or may not be in spirit's plan and it is ultimately this plan that I serve. Yes, I would serve spirit directly. She commands my interest and my attention. Her will is my will. It has been for some time. In fact, I realized this over ten years ago during the first awakening experience. Awareness is an illusive quality. It is something that we must pay attention to or we lose sight of it. Sometimes it can be difficult getting it back. It helps to learn and develop techniques that get us beyond the limits of our mind and our ego. When we get good, we can be aware whenever we choose to ... and to some degree, remain aware at all times.

7 November 2003 This makes 40 days straight and counting. This is turning into a significant streak. Though it is a long way from the record set last year. If memory serves me, it was something like 83 days. I don't care to go back and count to confirm. I believe there were three streaks of more than 50 days in 2002. This year we will probably end up with as many musings, but they were broken up more often. That is OK. What comes through comes through when it can. I consider the 330 musing mark for the year highly successful. This is by far the most productive part of my life. And, hopefully it will eventually reach others and move them. The royalty statement arrived. The only sales were the 12 copies of The Early Works that I bought. That is not a good sign. I was hoping for more. I thought that our books published pages would move some people to buy our works. Though, I'm the first to admit that I'm no salesman. Even when I believe in something ... I am reluctant to push it on others. I would rather have them decide freely what they would do. Oh well, that was August sales. We'll see what September brings. Though it does seem to be time to consider other ways to promote Beyond Imagination. One step at a time. This year seems to have been about getting material published. Perhaps next year will be a year of outreach. It is about time. This has been a solitary effort for far too long. Do I know enough to speak and conduct seminars? Can I really do that? It all starts with having a pool of people that are potential conference participants. I had thought this would come from people who were exposed to the Beyond Imagination site or the Beyond Imagination books. However, many people have time to take a seminar but not necessarily time to read. Or, they simply do not relate as well to the written word. How do we reach them? Or do we? Can we focus on those who relate to the written word? That is the form this expression has taken to date. And, that is the form that I am most comfortable with. But what does comfort have to do with this? Life is about stretching beyond our comfort zones to do things greater than we thought possible for us. What we have done is not enough. There is always more than we 122

can do. This will be true so long as we are alive. There is no resting on what we have accomplished. There is always the next thing on our path, whatever that might be. That doesn't mean that we can't stop and enjoy the process. In fact, we should do so often. However, as we do this we need to stay true to whom that we are. That means doing what we are moved by spirit to do. That may be a stretch for those who don't acknowledge a spiritual reality. However, if you are reading this, I'll assume that doesn't apply to you. My path is a spiritual path, but it is not a religious one. Neither is it based on any standard spiritual training. For some reason, I was meant to find my own path through the wilderness of spirit. Hopefully, you'll find what I've experienced and what I've learned to be of value to your life. I am a wayshower. But I can only show the way to where I have been. Over the past ten years, this has been to some strange and interesting places ... primarily states of mind. This expression is my way of sharing where I have been. It captures a stream of consciousness. Part of this seems to be mine, but the greater part of this seems to come from spirit herself. I hear a voice in my head. Is that voice from me? ... or is it spirit calling within me? Either way, it flows naturally from the center of my being. I didn't consciously choose to begin this expression. It just started coming forth in March 1993. On the first of January 2002, it got put into high gear. We've had near daily expressions for 2-3 hours since then. Yes, we are into our 23rd consecutive month already. That's a lot of expression! I keep hoping that someone will find me. That someone will realize the importance of what I am doing and choose to fund me in doing it. A benefactor of sorts. However, right now it is just wishful thinking. I'm not doing anything about it. I'm not packaging the material in such a manner to be able to sell it to someone or some group. The movie Contact comes to mind with Ellie going around to various organizations to get a sponsor for her Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence work. I haven't really defined what my work is and what services it will provide to whom. Then again, what can one expect from one who is 45 and doing all of this on the side? I need to find a way to make my life's work my fulltime work. The only constraint is that I make enough to cover my needs and to allow for the work of Beyond Imagination to be carried out. What I'm really asking for is abundance. This is more than the "there is always enough" condition that I am used to. Enough can be comfortable. But, to do great things in the world we need to come from a mindset and a reality of abundance. The bottom line seems to be that I need to find myself. And further, that I need to be my own benefactor. There are things that I can do that can generate income ... substantial amounts of it. My current job is a guideline. The Air Force pays my employer close to 2.5 times what I make per year. If I could make the full amount my services bring, I would be far more abundant. Further, if I could do that doing the things that I am highly motivated to do ... the things that I love; I would be far more productive so the value of my services should be even more. But, how do we manifest this? What do I need to do to provide services that are of great value to people? I have no doubt that I can do this. It is just a matter of when and how. And, it seems that when the time is right, I will know how. Yet, I'm anxious to make the time right now. It seems like it is within my power to do that. It seems that my destiny is literally within my hands now. Perhaps it always has been. But, there is something different now, something special somehow. I can feel it. I am ready to take my rightful place in the world. I have been hiding out in caves of my own making for far too long. Though, this did have its benefits. It got me to where I am now ... ready to embark on a whole new phase of my life.

8 November 2003 I'm weary this evening. We spent five hours working on putting in a wood floor in one of the bedrooms of the house. We still have another 2-3 hours to go to finish the bathroom floor. But that's tomorrow's project. Now, we are here engaged in this musing. I'm anxious to see what comes forth. Then again, that is no different than most days. This expression is always a surprise. I never know what to expect from 123

one paragraph or even one sentence to the next. That is OK. That is what makes it a stream of consciousness. But why is my stream of consciousness worthy of being captured in this manner. Why do I feel the need to record it, to make it available on the WWW, and to publish it in books? It just seems to be the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that feedback to date has been limited. It doesn't matter than relatively few people have been exposed to the material. There is a sense that this is to change dramatically very soon. However, I don't know what has to happen for the change to manifest. It seems that there is something that I need to do that I have not yet done. I trust that whatever it is, I will be moved to do it when the time is right. That is how my life works. I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I believe that it is spirit herself that moves me. This has been true much of my life, but especially over the past decade. How does my life differ from than of others? Except for this expression, I am a very quiet person. I don't speak much. I don't interact with others much. I never really have. Yes, that makes for a solitary existence and sometime a boring one. It seems the lack of interaction while chosen, is also a prison of sorts. I am confined to a cell of my own making. But, there is hope. Realizing this, I can choose for it to be different. I can choose to start interacting with people. However, I don't want to interact just to interact. There needs to be meaning or it is not worth the effort to me. Yet how do we know what meaning might be there until we make the effort to begin with? Relationships are built slowly over time. Friendships are special types of relationships that are even more rare. What would I do next? Those five words ever haunt me. It is not what we would think next, or what we would believe next ... it is what we would do next that is important. Clearly, I am here musing right now ... so that is what I am moved to do. That seems to be true every time I am moved to ask the question. This year still seems to be about musing on a regular basis. That makes nearly two full years in a row ... over 22 months straight to date. There is a sense that 2004 holds something new in store. I can't wait to see what that is. But, it is less than 2 months away, so we shall see soon enough. In the meantime, there is plenty to do to finish out the year. I would like to see three more books completed by the end of January. That will require some focused work ... but I believe that I'm up to it. I like setting challenges for myself to meet. That is as close to goal setting as I get. Outreach. It seems that it is time to reach out and extend the awareness of Beyond Imagination far beyond what it has been to date. How do I do that? How do I inform people ... lots of people; that Beyond Imagination exists and has something to offer to them? And further, it does so for free. All that we ask is that people abide by the principle never take more than you give. That means people need to find ways to serve others that provide fair value for what they receive here. That is not asking much. Living by this principle is how we manifest abundance. There is always a surplus generated. The more people that abide by this, the more the overall surplus, and the better the standard of living for everyone. This is such a simple thing. However, we need to find the place within us that knows when we have given enough. This is spiritual law, after all. Intuitively, we know when we have done our part. If my count is right, we are working on our fourth million words. That is in 10 years and 8 months. That is a lot of words. Why so many? Why isn't the expression more succinct and to the point? I don't really know. It is what it is. I don't question it. Nor do I control it. I allow it to be what it will ... trusting that there is a purpose for all of this and that my time is not wasted engaged in doing this for as long as I do it. Actually, it isn't a waste because it gives my life a sense of purpose. There is something that I am doing nearly every day that has the potential to make a difference in peoples lives. What I offer is to show what an aware consciousness is capable of. This expression is the key part of that. Here, I allow people to walk in my consciousness for awhile. Actually for a long while, the equivalent of 2-3 hours per day. Though it takes far less time to read this expression than it takes to produce it. It would be nice to know how many people were reading the daily musings. If I had to guess, I would say it was less than a dozen ... perhaps even no more than a handful. Yet, this is where the creative thrust is happening each day.

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9 November 2003 So much for another 2-3 hours. It took over 7 hours to finish the wood floor today. But it does look good. I guess that is what counts. However, I am beat. I'm not used to spending that much time on my feet. At work, I am sitting in front of a computer most of the time. There is definitely something to be said for mental labor. For one thing, it pays better. However, spiritual labor should pay even better. However, to date, I have not seen this happen. Perhaps it is because I haven't figured out how to translate what I do here into specific services that would benefit individuals. Do I need to do that? Or does spirit have something else in mind for my abilities and talents? My sense is that I am not like other people ... that my way is to be different as well. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That is the standing directive for my life. It has been for some time ... but consciously so for over a decade. So, what am I moved to do next? The musings continue, but the sense is not for much longer. I need to use the time to do other things ... things that I don't even know what they are yet. I believe they involve relationships with others in some way. That means I'm going to have to find others with whom to relate and develop some communication skills that are presently lacking. I can write. But, that is not the same as relating to someone else. Practice. That is all it takes to become good at anything. That doesn't mean that one will become a master or a virtuoso. That requires appropriate skills and talents. But, we can all become good at many things with practice. The musing is going slower than normal today. That happens sometimes. Perhaps it is because I am so tired tonight. Had a close call on the commute home. I was doing about 75 in the carpool lane when all of a sudden there was a black SUV sideways blocking the entire lane. I was able to hit the brakes and stop. But had another 10 seconds gone by before I saw it, I might have plowed right into it. That is just not something you expect to see in front of you. It definitely woke me up and caused the heart to race a bit. How do I change my ways? How do I become more outgoing? The answer that comes is "just do it". You already know how. This is not something that you have to think or reason about. Being outgoing is natural behavior for everyone unless it is blocked for some reason. Remove the blocks and you release yourself to operate in new ways that are just as natural as your current ones. You can do it. There are many who have done it before you and there will be even more to do it after you. You've taken the first steps. This communication is an outreach of sorts, a bearing of your soul. However, it is different doing it anonymously than live and in person. Then again, we'll see on Tuesday ... that is if any one shows up to the lunchtime talk on Metaphysics - An Introduction to Wayne's World. It may not be much, but it's a start. Speaking to groups of people is one way to introduce them to me and my world, including Beyond Imagination. Abundance is the compensation for spiritual work. Here we are talking about abundance on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Even after ten years, I haven't seen that kick in yet ... not completely anyway. Perhaps I expect too much; but I don't think so. In the meantime, I continue to do the work that I am moved to do. The primary spiritual work is capturing this stream of consciousness expression. There is something about it. I know that this is what I am meant to be doing right now. Once the time for capturing is over, we can move on to the next phase whatever that might be. It seems that the end of 2003, the beginning of 2004 is the transition point once again. We've had two solid years of musing for a total of close to one million words. Now, it seems time to start doing more with less. We've shown that we can generate volumes of works. But, that is not enough. We need something that can really touch people deeply. Some of the expression to date can do that. However, it seems that we need to make it even easier. Pulling together material that could be used in a seminar might be a place to start. We've talked about doing seminars before. That would be an excellent way of disseminating the Beyond Imagination expression and earning a decent income doing it. Further, it is something I can picture myself doing. It may take awhile to get my speaking legs. But, we are talking about speaking about my 125

passion, the Beyond Imagination expression. How long can it take? ... especially with a benign audience? Once again, we've stuck to it and allowed the expression to unfold as it will. When we do that, it is just a matter of time before we get our daily quota of expression in. Today, that is going to be the 1000 word mark. It is already late, and work starts all too early in the morning. That is OK. What comes forth, comes forth. There is no need to force or to push it. I have no doubt there will be enough words for a sizeable 2003 Musings - Vol III. I can tell by everything that has been expressed since 1 September. We're nearly 2.5 months into the final 4 month expression period. Right now, it seems the musings will continue at least through the end of the year. That's only another 50 or so days.

10 November 2003 We did it! Eight books officially published in 2003. And, we're still over two weeks from Thanksgiving. That is a remarkable achievement if I have to say so myself. But, once I started just over seven months ago, I knew that I could do it. It was just a matter of time and effort; both of which were under my control. And, we're not talking about small books. Half of the works are close to or exceed 600 pages. The other books are 280, 350, 450, and 520 pages. Definitely not bad for a year's work ... and this is only a part time job for me. But, it is one that I love and thoroughly enjoy. Though, it doesn't hurt to see the display of books grow in size from month to month and to see your name on the cover. There is something special about being an author ... especially for one whose forte is the written word. It will be interesting to see if we can transform some of the wisdom and the enthusiasm into the spoken word as well. That seems to be what 2004 may be about. However, we won't know for sure until we get there. At the pace of things, it will be here soon enough. We have enough to keep us busy through the next two to three months at least. From there, everything is in the air. I am open to change ... even major changes on multiple fronts in my life. But will I do what it takes to make the changes manifest? Or, will they manifest regardless of what I do? It could be that my actions just change the nature of what I interpret, not what I experience. How does that fly with the idea that we create our own reality? I don't see any contradiction. What happens, happens. The meaning that we assign to it determines how we experience it. Some people see the exact same challenges as blessings or curses. It is all a matter of perspective. Though, it seems that there is another part of our reality that we do control more directly. We do it primarily through our beliefs and by what actions we choose to expend our time and energy on as a result of those beliefs. The bottom line is that if we are not willing to act, then it is not really a belief after all. Further, pragmatism is in order here. Sometimes we don't know if we can create something until we try. As little as seven months ago, I did not know that I could publish one book much less eight in 2003. But, once I found that it was reasonable financially, the die was cast. And even then, I had a little help from the universe in the form of an unexpected claim that paid for publishing most of three books. The bottom line is that it has not even been a hardship. Though it was a lot of work and took a lot of hours. Now all that we need to do is get people to buy and read what we have written. Is that too much to ask? There is a reason that all of this was expressed in this manner. There is a reason that I was moved to publish all of it. It is all a matter of making it available to a wider audience in a more traditional form. That doesn't change the nontraditional nature of the expression. However, I don't feel that it is my right to change what is expressed by consciousness. Yes, it is a product of my mind and my body as well. But I am a glorified scribe in this process. Though, I like to think that I understand what is being expressed through me ... and the scribe had no such need.

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No rest for the weary. We still have much to do in the final two months of the year. For one thing, this expression continues to go on nearly every day. In fact, we are up to 43 straight musings. That is a long way from my record of 83, but who knows? There are still 51 days remaining in the year. However, with the holidays coming, there are likely to be breaks in the expression here and there. Oh well. What comes through comes through. We take it one day at a time. That is how I live my life. Occasionally, I plan a day or two ahead ... and even more rarely, a week or two ahead. However, I have no use for a daily organizer. My life is not that structured. Maybe it could be more efficient if it were, but that is not clear. I'm quite productive and effective already. But yes, there is always room for improvement. It is a matter of how we choose to present ourselves and apply ourselves. It is amazing what we can accomplish when we believe that what we are doing is possible or even easy to do. We have resources beyond our imagining. We are souls enfleshed. As such, we are all mighty beings ... no, almighty beings. Yes, literally godstuff. Our fears however hold us back from being all that we can be and expressing what we are capable of expressing. Love and fear ... these are the choices that are ours to make at any time. Do we allow ourselves to be loving or do we come from fear and limit ourselves needlessly. All pain and suffering arises out of fear. It takes love to heal it ... and to heal the world in the process. The more love expressed, the better everything becomes. That is how we further enable spirit to express through us ... we transcend our fears and express love for all those our lives touch. What next? Now that we've accomplished the one goal that we set for the year ... what next? It seems it is time to start thinking about how to promote the material and make people aware that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of information that may help them to awaken to the spirit within. I don't want to tell people how to live or even how to do anything. I want to show them what is possible and offer advice on how to achieve this. Isn't that what the Beyond Imagination books do. Though the focus is not readily apparent. The stream of consciousness can ramble on at times. But usually, even then it offers its pearls of wisdom. There have been many pearls and other precious gems over the years. Tomorrow is the day. I get to speak to part of the Human Development club at work about Metaphysics: An Introduction to Wayne's World. I didn't do much to prepare. There is only about 45 minutes to fill. Surely I have enough to say that I can fill the time in a meaningful way. My preference is to let the stream of consciousness carry me where it will. It works for this expression. Let's see if it works in person. At least this is something I am comfortable talking about ... more than that, it is something that I am passionate about. Let's see if we can convey some of this passion to others. It seems that this is what it is all about. Life must be lived with passion or it simply is not worth living. There is always something to be passionate about. It is for us to find what that is for us ... and then to find ways to bring it into our lives.

Only one person showed up to my scheduled talk today, so we postponed until after Thanksgiving. I was looking forward to speaking but it just wasn't meant to be, at least not yet. That's OK, my day will come. It's all a matter of timing. Part of the problem was a late e-mail announcement. I should have reminded people about this sooner. Oh well, next time we'll do things differently. What happens happens. We have no right to be attached to outcomes. They don't serve anyone, and they are not ours to guarantee. There is an unseen hand at play in our lives that is able to determine outcomes. We have to find a way to live with them, and if possible, to be happy anyway. That is the key to a successful life. Find a way to be happy anyway, despite what happens in life. When we can do this, we are truly free. Circumstances may impact us, but don't move us from our center. The only 11/11 day. That is pretty special of itself. When we add 11/11/23 we get 45, my present age. Hmm 5 x 9. My final four of my phone number are 1359 = to the death of 59. Also 41 to 14 = 41214. From center 214 to the left and right. 888 completion is 674 = 764 from the middle out. 764 = GOD. 127

That is why I experience spirit/consciousness as feminine. She is the completion of God. The fact that such is what I attract to express through me suggests that I am the masculine god if opposites / completion numbers attract. Or, it suggests that I am akin to the spirit that I experience expressing through me if likes attract. Actually, my name has 7-4 and my SSN ends in 2184 = To 184. This is the 888 completion of 7-4 or 704 = G-D or G0D with a zero in the middle. 7:64 is The Chariot: Surrender/Renouncing thy will. 7:04 is The Chariot: The Emperor 1:84 is The Magician: The Lovers Exalted 764 = 9:62(78) = The Hermit: The Blindfolded Lady 704 = 9:02(78) = The Hermit: The High Priestess 124 = 1:46(78) 184 = 2:28(78) That one sent shivers through my head and body! 764 = 8:60(88) = Strength: Conscious guiding Subconscious and Superconscious across the water. 704 = 8:00(88) = Strength: The Fool 124 = 1:36(88) 184 = 2:08(88) = 28: The Man with the World in his Hands. Of these, the four in bold seem to mean the most. I have be the Hermit for some time. I have been associated with the blindfolded lady since 1994. 28 = 7x4 always is highly important. 7x4 is another form of 7-4. Actually, it is 764 since x=6. Interesting. It has been awhile since I've been moved to explore numbers in this way. I don't know why it comes and why it goes as it does. I just do as I am moved to do in the moment and trust that spirit does indeed have a message to convey. These four numbers seem to characterize me somehow. They seem to represent what I am and what I need to add to be complete. Or, they are the partition of 888 that I happen to be expressing. Hmm ... 184/704 and 124/764. It just struck me that this is my operating range. The center would be 154/734 with a range of 30 up and down. However the two numbers swing in opposite directions. 154 = 1:76(78) 154 = 1:66(88) 734 = 9:32(78) = The Hermit: "I AM Race" 734 = 8:30(88) = Strength: Camelot 184/704 = .2613636363 154/734 = .2098092643 124/764 = .1623036649 Difference between top and bottom is .0990599714, slightly less than one tenth. The sense is that this is the Between Order and Chaos range for me. Below .16 and there's too much chaos. Above .26 and there's too much order. I need to balance between these points. I don't know how this relates to others.

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These particular points seem to apply to me in particular. It is curious that they relate to God/G0d and that 2184 = 888(16) when .16 is one of the operating limits. It seems that I am onto something new, even if I don't know exactly what I am discovering yet. This is not something that I've read about. Then again, that applies to many things that I am moved to do. Have I not read about such things because there is nothing written to read or because I have not been exposed to the appropriate people and material? It could be either. However, it doesn't seem to matter. At the very least I am independently discovering things. I like being the explorer. It's a role that suits me. Though, it would be nice to have an occasional guidepost through the wilderness. No complaining however. This is what makes life fun for me. This is what gives my life meaning. Unlike many others, I have not derived that from personal interactions. That doesn't mean that I couldn't or even that I don't want to. Much of it came out of fear. Primarily, fear of being judged as different and less than somehow. We do a lot of things out of fear. Or, more precisely, we don't do a lot of things due to fear. However that is not an effective way to live one's life. I had a lady today say that I had a lot of courage for presenting so much personal material at the Beyond Imagination website. I'm not sure that courage had much to do with it. I reached a point where I simply had to share what spirit had expressed through me. There was never any thought about what should or should not be shared. Everything was fair game. Besides, how could the material benefit anyone except me unless I found a way to share it? And not having an impact on others was simply unacceptable. As a hermit, the only way that I could think of for reaching a large worldwide audience was via the WWW. However, I didn't do much to publicize the site and make people aware of its existence. Lately, I've started to do more. But, I allowed several years to go by with little effort applied in this area. I trusted that spirit would lead those who were meant to find Beyond Imagination to the site. While there have been over 14,000 hits to the main page in 8 years ... that is not much traffic. If people hit multiple pages, maybe that translates to 100,000 page hits overall. Given that I have roughly 800-1000 pages that is not much per page.

12 November 2003 The musings have been closer to the two-hour length for the past week. That is partially because I am moved to do other things, however it is mostly because I am not moved to sit and muse as much. Perhaps after 22 months that is to be expected. There is still a lot of material coming forth. In fact, I believe this makes 290 musings for the year. There were only 304 musings in 2002. We should hit that record prior to Thanksgiving ... leaving a whole month to exceed it. That should put us on a 330 pace or so for the year. I can live with that. Each musing is an individual web page. So, the Beyond Imagination site must have close to 1000 web pages by now. Some of these are 1-2 pages of text. But others are over 50 pages. The bottom line is that a lot of material has been expressed and shared at the Beyond Imagination site. And, it seems that this is just a hint of what is to come. I believe that I have another quarter century to carry out my life's mission. Sent off for a promotional service for the Beyond Imagination books. We'll see what comes of it. It doesn't do a lot of good to have published books and not make people aware of them. But, it seems that everything costs money. Oh well. It costs what it costs. We have to do what we must do. In the end, everything will work out. My investment to date in publishing and promotion is about $4000, not counting anything for my time. The return has been $78 to date. That's not much. That covers less than an hour of my time. However, publishing the books was a one time expense; yet the books have the potential to pay dividends for many years to come. The material in the expression is timeless. It speaks to changes that will happen over decades. 129

Building the foundations for spirit to more fully express in flesh is a big job. It seems that it will require many people to cooperate to accomplish it. But is that necessarily so. Perhaps the seed ideas can start with as few as one person. But, we need to go beyond ideas. We need to base our actions on these seeds and do things to build a new world from the foundations up. One important piece of this is establishing a contract between individuals and society regarding what the individual is entitled to and what society expects of the individual in return. We don't have such a social contract now. Individuals are expected to fend for themselves in many areas of their lives. This results in many problems and unnecessary suffering. It is something that can be changed and should be changed. We need to take better care of one another. At some level we are ONE. There is no separation. We need to come from that level when we stretch our arms out to our fellow beings. This is difficult to do if we believe in a world of scarcity, a world where we must compete to survive and get what we need. However, that is not truth. We live in a world of abundance. And, there are things that we can do to greatly increase that abundance. Along with that, we need to fairly share what is generated. We are not used to worrying about this. But the bottom line is that everyone should have their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual need met. Not wants, but needs. When we collectively fail to meet needs, we create problems in society. When we allow people to exist below poverty levels, we as a society are failing in our collective responsibility. But, who do we go to to address the problems? In the past, we have relied on charitable organizations and families to do what they could to help. Yet, this is a collective problem. It is one for which we are all responsible. Why should those who are willing to contribute carry the load for everyone else? What makes me believe all of this? What makes me believe what is expressed in this stream of consciousness? Actually, it is more than believing. There is a part of me that knows this somehow. It is something for which I have no doubt. What I believe is that I'll see the changes manifest in my lifetime. At the very least I will have worked to try to implement them anyway with whoever will listen and be moved by what I have to say. I've been off regarding time so often that I am leery making such predictions. The bottom line is that the Aquarian age is dawning and this will result in dramatic changes in how spirit is able to express in the world. It will change how individuals interact as well as how organizations interact both with their members and with other organizations. The sense is that competition will be increasingly replaced by cooperation to get the best goods and services to as many people as practical. At some point, we need to deal with equality in the world. All human beings are created equal. What are the ramifications of this? How do we treat people in developing and undeveloped nations? It is clear that they are not in a position to help themselves. We don't yet recognize our obligations to our fellow countrymen. How do we extend this to the people of the world? We live on ONE world, ONE spaceship Earth. The political boundaries are just lines on a map, invisible from above the Earth in space. "Imagine all the people ... sharing all the world." This line from John Lennon's song Imagine comes from the right vision. What next? That is the question of the moment. What am I moved to do next? I do things, observe the results, and then do different things in hopes of achieving something better. In some respects, what I have been doing has worked. I've been incredibly productive in expressing what spirit would express through me for the past 10 years and 8 months. However, something is missing. As far as I know, I still am not reaching people in anywhere near the kinds of numbers that this expression is ultimately meant to reach. Be patient! The words will indeed reach those who are meant to experience them. It is not for you to force that to happen. Enable perhaps, but not force. Trust that you are doing what you need to be doing. Take it one step at a time and keep monitoring the feedback. Then make the necessary corrections to your course. You will intuitively know what these are. Then, you already know that. Your life is unfolding exactly as it needs to unfold. We are aware that you are somewhat dissatisfied with your current work environment. It has its moments, but it is ultimately not where you would prefer to be. That's OK. Take it one day at a time trusting that your liberation is indeed forthcoming. It may not be immediate. But, opportunities will present themselves and you will be designing the life that you want to live. That is what reality creation is all about. The highest art of its expression would be to create a masterpiece of 130

your life. Actually, if you looked at your life from the right perspective you would see that you are already doing this. Just look at what you've expressed and created this year alone both at work and in your spiritual life. The results are already amazing. Behold thy works! It is through the works that we define who we are. Ultimately, it is through our works that people come to know us. You've been more intimate than most in revealing yourself in your spiritual work. That will indeed lead somewhere. No effort is in vain. It is all recognized. It all creates a force in the world that will ultimately return unto itself. The timeframe for the return is still relatively slow in the world ... but it is speeding up. There is much to be pleased about in my life. But, why am I not satisfied? Why am I not more happy? This suggests that there is something important missing in my life. I have to believe that this is relationships. This is one area that has been sorely lacking throughout my life. It is time to start establishing close relationships. How do I do that? This is not a unilateral action. It takes at least two to create relationships. Anyway, the desire is there. We'll see what it brings into my life. I know that I am meant to work closely with others. I know that I am meant to interact deeply with others. It is just a matter of when. At work, I have shown that I'm an effective team player. I get along well with everyone. But that is not the same as knowing them. That requires sharing at a more intimate level. In this expression, I try to do this. However, it is a unilateral kind of sharing. Unless people write back to introduce themselves, there is no real basis for relationships to be established. My way is one of the written word. Many people are far more familiar with the spoken word for such relationships. One benefit of writing is the record that comes automatically. Where would I be if this stream of consciousness had only passed through my mind without getting captured like this? As it is, I get to go back to any point since 1993 and reexperience what was being expressed. And, not only me. Because I've posted everything to the WWW, it is freely available to any who can find it. That is a part of the problem. We need to make it easier to find it. Yet, how do we spread the word? My circle of acquaintances is quite small and of that only a small percentage have even expressed an interest in what I have to say in this part of my life. That's curious to me because I consider this to be the most important part of my life. This may be the first time this month that we are approaching the 2000 word quota for a musing. That is about the three-hour point. Overall, we've been averaging this between a third and a half of the time. Though, ultimately none of this matters. What is meant to be expressed gets expressed. And, it's not like we're hurting for words. How can we expect anyone to read 3-4 million words? The bottom line is they will read whatever part of those words they are moved to read. There is much that has been expressed. Fortunately, it is far faster to read it than to generate it. Otherwise, we would be looking at 4 million words / 700 words / hour = 5700 hours. That would be the equivalent of nearly 350 days, almost 1 year of my waking life. I would guess that most people read at least 10 times faster than that reducing the time to 1 month of waking life or 2 hours per day x 8 months. That is a lot to expect from anyone. Is there sufficient benefit received to be worth the effort? I would say YES! But then, I'm the author so I'm biased. I don't have sufficient feedback to know whether it is worth it to others. That is a sad state of affairs after over seven years on the WWW. But, that is the reality of the situation. That is OK. It is what it is. My life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to unfold. The majestic oak is contained within the seed of the acorn. My destiny is contained within the seeds of my being as well. And I will naturally grow into what I must become. I really have no choice in the matter. It is natural law. It is spiritual law. It can't be rushed. Even the mighty Sequoia trees take thousands of years to grow. During that time they survive fires and all sorts of changes. Can you imagine what it would be like to live for over two thousand years? Can you imagine? What is the consciousness of such a tree? It has rings corresponding to when Buddha and Christ walked the Earth. It has been alive through most of the recorded history of man. There is something about this that is awe inspiring.

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In Colors of the Wind, Vanessa Williams sings that every rock, every tree, and every creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name. I know this to be true as well. Everything is godstuff, everything is spirit, everything is animate.

13 November 2003 We finally had another 3 hour musing yesterday. It had been awhile. However, we cannot force what would come forth. Part of it is a matter of opportunity. The pace of musing is very similar from day to day. What changes is my availability and in particular how long I am moved to muse on a given day. Some days that is around 2 hours, other days it is around 3. But, it is usually one or the other. There is a minimum threshold and then there is a wall beyond which I am moved to achieve my objective. The minimum threshold is 1000 words. The wall is around 1400 words after which I usually find the strength to go on to at least 2000 words. Why should it be that way? Why these particular limits. 2 hours per day is 1/8 of my waking life or 1/12 of my entire life. 3 hours per day is 1/8 of my entire life. There is a suggestion that we ought to give a tithe of our life to spirit. This is my way of doing that. However, under the right circumstances, this could be greatly increased. What prevents us from giving half or even all of our life to spirit? We are spiritual beings all of the time. What we do is spiritual. That applies to everything that we do. Yet, it seems that some things are more spiritual than others. But, more or less are our judgments. They don't apply to spirit. She will do what she can do anyway. Though what she does must be done through us. She has no body of her own. We are all her hands doing her work. For me, it seems not even to be the hand ... I am still the her-mit, the mit or glove that she wears. That is how I feel in this expression. I am an extension of spirit able to bring forth this stream of consciousness that is beyond my conscious awareness. I've been doing it for over 10 years. I hope that I am getting good at it by now. I hope that what I am able to bring forth, record, and share is of utility. I know that it is to me, but it would be great if this were true for others as well. I like to believe that I am doing all of this for a reason ... a reason that is more than just my edification. Though, if it were that ... I could find a way for that to be enough. However, as a wayshower, I like to think that all of this is my way of showing a way through the wilderness of spirit. Ten years and eight months = 128 months. Can I really have been doing this for that long already? That's over 22 percent of my life. It is hard to remember what life was like before the Beyond Imagination expression. Then again, my memory is such that I don't know what I wrote yesterday. Actually, the prior paragraph is rapidly fading already. The only thing that saves me is that it is still on the screen and I can look up at it and refresh my mind if I choose to. That is what capturing all of this is all about. If I simply allowed it to flow through me, it would still program me ... but it would only impact others to the degree that it impacted how I interact with others and the world. By capturing it and sharing it, the words are available to impact any who are moved to find them. The bottom line is that I don't necessarily have to draw people to the works. Consciousness knows what they contain and where they are and is perfectly able to move those who need to find them to the expression. It is not for me to push for this to happen. Rather, it is a matter of allowing what would be to be. Can I do that? Can I be content with allowing the Plan of spirit to unfold as it will? It seems to be the most natural of choices to make. Why would we fight to manifest something when we can be part of allowing it to happen naturally? Indeed, why? I'm listening to some tapes by Wayne Dyer on Higher Awareness. I've found that I can really relate to them. It is interesting that I was forced to find my way on my own. I don't know if I would have believed the material before my awakening experiences. But after, it is self-evident. I know that it is true. Wayne Dyer speaks very well and makes incredible use of quotes from a variety of others. My mind just doesn't function like that. It doesn't remember quotes. In general it doesn't remember what I read ... not even this material, even though it comes through me. I still find it amazing that I can express so fluidly and not 132

remember what I've expressed. Occasionally, I'll even find myself doing the same thing over at work because I don't remember having done it earlier -- sometimes even a few days earlier. Fortunately, that doesn't happen that often. Given this, it would seem that there is a risk of repetition in this expression. But, as far as I can tell, that is not really happening. The expression is new and fresh each day. The intelligence that is generating it must know more about what it is doing than I do consciously. Part of it is a matter of trust. I go within and I expect source to come through in this fashion ... and she does not disappoint me. How long can this go on? It seems indefinitely. Though, I just can't see that happening for even another decade ... much less a quarter of a century. Though, I will be expressing spiritually for the remainder of my days. Once one gets the wake up call into greater awareness, there is no going back. This is a one way trip of the light switch. What was dim and dark is now clear and light. The shadows have vanished to return no more ... until we find an even greater light source that is. And then the shadows are relative. They are still light, just not as strong as in other directions. However, we can grow into ever greater awareness. For so long as we exist, this is our constant quest. But we don't concern ourselves with it. We allow it to happen naturally. Why is it that there has been so little feedback regarding this expression? Is it too much for people? Is the format too strange for most to comprehend? Is the format too strange to keep people's interest? Does the sheer volume of information turn people away? There must be some reason. Or, is it simply that it's time has not yet come? That could be it as well. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. It is what it is. I observe that and see what I am moved to do next. So far, that has been to continue with the expression. And further, to do so in a big way. We invest over 1000 hours per year in spiritual pursuits / expression. At some point, we expect a return on this investment in terms of an impact on the world. Why do I need to have such an impact? What makes what I do that important? Why can't I be content to just live my life without concern for the outcomes? I can trust that these will be whatever is appropriate as determined be spiritual law. I just need to do my part. That is whatever I am moved by spirit to do. But, what is that? What am I moved to do? Somehow, I am exactly where I need to be right now. Yet, at the same time, this is not enough. I am not satisfied. I know that there is more that I can do. There is more that I am meant to do. Yes, there is a strong sense of destiny at play. However, that being the case, there is no cause for concern. What is destined will manifest. It is only a matter of time. All that I have to do is to facilitate it happening. What more can I do? How do I live a more aware life? How do I increase the degree to which spirit expresses through me? How do I help others more? How do I employ this expression for the benefit of the world? How do I develop rich relationships? How do I express more of whom that I truly am? Many questions, but where are the answers? Within, of course. That is where all such answers lie. In my life, the outside inputs confirm what I know from within. As an introvert, I've always looked within for validation. I've prided myself on being different. But, we are all different. We are all special. There are none more special than any others. We are all spirit incarnate. We are all divine beings. We are all godstuff. It doesn't matter what we know. It doesn't matter what level of awareness we have reached. It doesn't matter what lessons we have learned or not learned. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. We are all equal before god. We are all souls. We don't say that a first grader is any less than a twelfth grader. They are in the midst of different experiences and different lessons ... but each is in their rightful place. With souls, there is no less than or no greater then. We will all realize whom that we are eventually. How long that takes in time is irrelevant. What is expected is that we behave in accord with our knowingness and our awareness. How much is ego expressed here? How would I know? Yes, there are times when the expression is grandiose. However, is it justifiably so? In most cases I am not looking for much for myself. I am looking for what services I can perform for my community and for the world. Why do I need to have 133

such a big impact ... a world impact? My sense is that it is just part of the role that I came to play. No more and no less. Someone had to do it. I happen to have chosen the role ... or perhaps auditioned and been selected. We do what is required of us. It is all a grand drama. It helps to get into our roles and play them with gusto. It also helps to be aware of what we are doing as we play these roles.

14 November 2003 We came close to another three hour musing, but ran out of steam at just over 1800 words. That's OK. That's still a respectable output for a day. Actually, even one and a half hours is not bad. There is just a sense that I can do more. Why do I push myself so? There is something in me that knows that this expression is important somehow. I may never see whom it impacts. But, that doesn't matter. I'm committed to express nonetheless. This is where the creative juices are allowed to flow. This is where I am able to bring forth something from a source greater than I am ... a source that knows things that I have not learned, at least not consciously. But, how could this be? How can I bring forth things beyond what I consciously know? It is easy. There is a source within each of us ... our link to our higher self, which knows things far beyond what our egos will recognize. That is OK. Our egos are meant to be tools, not masters. They have a function of interpreting physical reality. But this can be difficult if that reality is ever changing. Also, in the physical separation is pervasive. We are distinct individuals. We want to somehow be better and more special than others. Further, our egos want others to recognize us as such. But, all of this separation is illusion. At some underlying level, we are one. We spring forth from the same source. Why the need to do anything? Why the need to change anything? Creating the Foundations for a New World is a big job. Why is it that this is something I must do? Primarily because it needs to be done and I have the natural abilities to do it. How can I know that? I just do. This is what the rest of my life is all about. We don't question what we know. We just know it. We can question what we think, and can even question what we believe ... but, not what we know. That is certain. Knowing allows no doubt or it is not knowing. I am an instrument through whom spirit does her work in the world. A living instrument yes, but an instrument nonetheless. My mind and my consciousness are available to do her works. To date, that has primarily involved writing/typing what she would express through me. I don't edit the material per se (just minor spelling corrections). I have made selections of quotes, Best of Notes, and Best Passages; however the selections are always in chronological order. Whatever intelligence is bringing all of this forth knows what it is doing. I just need to stay out of its way. There is something special about spiritual expression. It is unlike anything else that we experience. It does not matter what form that expression takes. For me, clearly writing is it. But any form of creative expression is fine. Find what comes naturally to you and engage in it in some way that is of benefit to others. Selfless behavior is rewarded with more opportunities to excel. We need to strive to be more selfless in our endeavors. That means leaving the what's in it for me attitude at the door. We do things because they are the right things for us to do, not because of what personal gain will accrue. Do what you know to be right. It most cases, it will be self-evident. Even if you don't know consciously ... trust that you know at other than conscious levels. Why me? Why millions of words of expression? By their works shall ye know them. Well, we have a lot of works; eight books totaling nearly 4000 pages ... and we've only just begun. Though, that is the bulk of 10 years of expression. Actually, there are even more words than that available at the Beyond Imagination site. For instance only about 1/4 to 1/3 of the material in the musings from 2002 made it into the 520 page Best Passage from 2002 Musings book. Also, the 800 pages in the Best of Notes books are a similar fraction of the actual months of Notes pages. Regardless, the sense is that we have more than enough expressed in books and at the site to be of utility to people. The key utility is in providing an 134

example of what one consciousness has been through and has done on its way to awakening and staying awake. I'm curious as to what others think of this expression. What do they get out of it that is of utility to them? Does that make it worth the "cost" of reading it. The primary cost is time. But time is valuable. It is one commodity that we can't buy more of. We each get our allotted days, hours, and minutes. It is up to us as to what we do with them. Clearly, this expression is worth it to me. And I'm making a far larger commitment of time than any who might read this. I would hope that this commitment is ultimately spread across many readers. But it seems this is out of my hands. You are not to be concerned with outcomes ... you are to do what you must do. That's about as direct as you can get. Outcomes are in god's hands not mine. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be observant and learn from the outcomes that are created. It just means that I shouldn't focus on achieving particular outcomes. Things work much more smoothly if we simply do the tasks that are ours to do. This expression is one of my tasks. Where it will lead, I don't really know. To date, it hasn't led to where I expected it might. That just says my expectations were off. Should I be using this as feedback to do something differently? The sense is no. Both the quality and quantity of expression for since the start of 2002 have been more than I dreamed possible. So, something about this is right, even though it doesn't seem to be having any effect in the world yet. My sense is that it will, all in good time. Everything happens according to a timeline set by spirit, not us. We have 72 musings to date for 2003 Musings - Vol III. They total nearly 700 kb. That's about 54 x 2000 words = 108,000 words. That puts us on pace for another 500-600 page book just after the end of the year. Each volume has covered 1/3 of the year. I'm curious as to what this transforms into in 2004. There is a sense that more of the same is not what is needed. 2002 was different from 2003. The vibrations for 2004 are different still. Even though it is only 6 weeks away, I have no clue as to what will be changing. Though, it seems that I am not likely to escape my current work environment. I just don't see an alternate source of income manifesting anytime soon. Wishful thinking is one thing. But, it takes more than that to believe. Given that, it seems that I need to find a way to make the best of my present situation and find ways to make it more interesting and fun. I'm missing that in my life. There is not enough fun. I've become too serious in my middle age. It is time to lighten up and allow spirit to shine even more than I have allowed to date. It seems time for outreach. I've done part of that by posting the Beyond Imagination expression. But, it seems that is not enough. People are not finding and being exposed to the material in the kinds of numbers that make a real difference. I have feedback from a few people that have found various parts of the material clear and useful. But, these have been far fewer than I had expected. Why should I care what feedback comes or doesn't come? I know that the material is good. I've read most of it at least twice, and some of it many times. Elegance is the idea that the universe gets the maximum results for whatever effort is expended. I like to believe that spirit is operating elegantly through me. That would mean that this expression is meant to reach and impact an audience ... and a sizeable one at that. Are there things that I can do to facilitate this? Or, is this all in spirits hands now? The sense is that the former is true. My destiny and the destiny of Beyond Imagination are in my hands. I can fashion them as I will. But, how would I fashion them? My desire is to change the world ... or to show the way that allows the world to change naturally into something more in line with the spirit of the Aquarian Age. I would create the foundations for a new world. This should be child's play for one who is a Master Builder at heart. The bottom line is to demonstrate how to manifest higher awareness. There are many teachers out there who speak of this. Ram Dass and Wayne Dyer are two that I've listened to recently. They confirmed much that I already knew from firsthand experience. Though they explained it in terms that were new to me. Both use stories and Wayne Dyer makes extensive use of quotes from others. It is amazing to me that he could remember all of this. I don't even remember my own quotes hanging on the wall to the left of me in my office and I've read them dozens if not over 100 times. That seems to be a feature of my mind. There 135

are very few things it remembers very long. Many things are forgotten within seconds ... even things that I try to remember. I've always refused to memorize things, trusting that I could derive what I needed to know when I needed to know it; or that I could readily look it up. One positive benefit from this is that my mind is unencumbered with the past most of the time and is free to focus on the present. It also puts me in a sort of meditative state much of the time ... one where the stream of thoughts is quieted. Even in this expression, I have to quiet my thoughts so that the stream of consciousness can express. If this were a baseball game, we would be down to the final inning. It is all a matter of putting in the time to express. If we make ourself available, the expression flows forth. We aren't controlling it, but we seem to have a hand in guiding it. There is some interaction. I'm not a completely passive instrument. But, how does a stream of consciousness differ from a stream of thought? For one thing, it is far more organized and flows more smoothly. Thoughts seem to be far more random and jumpy. Then again, it has been over ten years since I thought heavily with the exception of work. And, even there my work is a combination of logic and intuition. I'm so used to being the observer, the watcher, the listener ... that I rarely pay much attention to my mind functioning anymore. As I look around, I come from an attitude of acceptance. The observer has no ability to take action and impact things. But this expression, this is an action. It can have impacts on individuals and potentially on the world. So what is it that is expressing thus? I am a glorified scribe. My mind is the medium through which the message comes to be typed by my fingers so that it can appear before my eyes and be captured for posterity. Hmm ... where did that come from? Why do I need to leave markers to say that I was here ... join me and be here also? Yet, is that not exactly what spirit is doing through me ... what I am doing? Indeed it is. And, I do it because I know that it is the right thing for me to be doing. There is a force within awaiting expression that I choose not to resist. Either that or I simply cannot resist. Either way, the result is that this expression comes forth as it does.

15 November 2003 The streak continues. This makes 48 straight musings, by far the longest streak of the year. That just means we are drawn to muse and that we are finding time each day to do it. It is not a matter of can it be done. It is a matter of committing the necessary time. The pace is fairly constant, roughly 700 words per hour. Many people can read that in less than five minutes. What makes it worth the commitment? For one, I get a lot out of the expression. And because it is coming through me so slowly, I experience it in a way that others do not. Then again, I know little about how others experience this expression. There has been some feedback but very limited overall during the past decade. In fact, it would total a handful of pages of text at the most. That is not much considering the thousands of pages of expression to date. And we’re talking about 8.5 x 11 pages. What makes me believe that it is worth reading and studying? I just know that it is. It strikes a chord deep within me. There are metaphysical truths being presented and being demonstrated. But, why so much expression? Why do we need thousands of pages? Couldn't a few hundred do? What is expressed is what needs to be expressed. As to the volume, it is what it is. It is not clear that I control the flow. It is as if I have an appointment with destiny each day. I don't make appointments often but I meet them when I make them. So, what would we express today? As usual, my mind is blank. I'm not consciously in control of the process. I simply allow it to happen through me. I make my brain and consciousness available to the ONE consciousness. She speaks to me via the voice within and I write what she says. Even these very words are produced in that way. I am ever amazed by how consciousness expresses. She never seems to run out of words, at least not for long. Occasionally there are breaks that last from seconds to minutes but these are all part of the natural flow of things. Spirit/consciousness is my refuge. It is in her that I know that I am safe. The world can touch me only to the degree that I allow it to. Yet, my world is a mirror 136

reflection of whom that I AM. Each of us live within a world of our own making. Oh, there is a common background to these worlds that we agree to as consensus reality. But, within that there is a lot of latitude for creating our own reality. We do this primarily through beliefs and knowing. Knowing involves the things for which there is no doubt. Beliefs however are not as certain. Though we use them by acting as if and seeing the consequences they bring into our lives. We are always free to change the beliefs that don't serve us and those whom we touch. Beliefs are our way of dealing with part of the unknown. They may or may not be right. Further, we may never know if they are right or not. What matters with beliefs is utility. Do the beliefs serve us and others? Do they help to make our lives better? If they don't it is time to find new ones that do. There is something to be said about being silent and maintaining a blank mind. That is precisely what it takes to allow spirit to come through in our lives. So long as we are busy with our own stuff, our own desires, our own thoughts ... there is no room for spirit. As soon as we let these go, she appears and remains with us so long as we listen to her. Mainly this comes through inner promptings via our intuition. The more we develop that connection within us the more peaceful we become. We no longer see it necessary to impose our will on the world. We can allow and accept whatever happens as the will of spirit. But, you say what about the atrocities? How could that be the will of spirit? Yet, there is only spirit and the will of spirit. Nothing else is real. Nothing else exists. For some, this requires a big leap of faith. Others recognize its truth as self-evident. Still others, the vast majority, don't yet believe this at all. That doesn't mean they won't in time. The mass consciousness can change afterall. It just needs to be shown the increased utility in making the change. It will see that as more and more individuals start believing. At some point there is a critical threshold and the entire mass consciousness makes the leap. That may be part of what the Aquarian Age is about. I saw an interesting license plate on the drive home yesterday - 4GSD128. 1284 is 2184 from middle left to middle right. This is 888(16). GSD = 714 is a 7-7-7 triangle with 7 in the front and 7+7 = 14 in the back. 777 and 888 in the same license plate suggest we are 111 from the 888 - 888 Star of David, the symbol for community. If that is 111 years, that would take us to 2114. This is the span 12-13-14 from center left to center right. Multiplied together we are back to 2184 = 888(16). This could also represent 111 months. That is 9 years 3 months. That would take us to February 2013, one month shy of the 20th anniversary of the birth of the Beyond Imagination expression. I know. How can I find such meaning in license plates? I just expect that it will be there and allow it to unveil itself to me. Not every license plate that I see has meaning for me, but many do. It definitely makes driving more interesting. Actually, nearly any number or name associated with us usually has spiritual meaning of some type. If it were easy to find that meaning, the world would already be a much more spiritually aware place than it is. The world is already spiritual, but being aware takes another step of consciousness. Does everyone need to awaken and become more aware? Ultimately, it seems that the answer is yes. But, there is no required timeline by which this must happen. Individuals are allowed to take as long as it takes them. Everyone is growing in a manner and at a rate that is right for them. It cannot be any other way. Spirit is elegant in how she manifests. All is right in the world. Hmm ... do I really believe that for my world, much less for the world at large? In some respects I do. I am doing what I am meant to be doing. And, I have achieved a reasonable level of abundance for that. Could life be better? Of course it could. But it seems that such is in my hands to make it so. What I do has an impact on the world. What I do determines what gets attracted into my reality. It is not enough to think something, we must believe deeply enough to act. Yes, ultimately everything originates with thoughts. But until the thoughts are sufficient to move us to action, they are merely passing thoughts of little import. It is the great thoughts of the ages that can truly move us. They strike a chord within and stir our passion. It is no wonder that great thoughts come from the greatest minds and souls of the ages. One must reach an affinity with spirit to be able to bring forth such 137

thoughts. It is interesting that there are more books of quotes. There are a few relatively large ones in the libraries and bookstores. But one would think that in over 2500 years of recorded thoughts in books, there might be more collections of great thoughts. One of the books that I picked up early in my studies was The Mystic Masters Speak by Vernon Howard. It is a collection of some wonderful quotes by some true masters. We already have a 600 page book of Beyond Imagination Quotes selected from ten years of expression. However, these all came from spirit through me. Does that make them mine? I had to be receptive enough to bring them forth. Is that any different than how anyone engages in creative expression? I have no experience to know this. I only know what my experience has been. I don't see others consumed with expressing in the manner that I do. It is interesting that I express even though I know not who the audience will be ... or even if there will be one. For instance, with these daily musings, I would bet that there are less than a handful of people following them on a regular basis. However, once expressed in this form, the material is available indefinitely. And, there is a timelessness about the material. There is nothing that dates it so that it might become out of date at some point. It has been like that since the beginning. It is not something that I had to work at to make so. There is a sense that it is time to take my rightful place in the world. Perhaps that is what 2004 will bring. One never knows until it happens. This suggests that my current place is not my rightful place. I know that to be true. But, I'm a pragmatist at heart. I see that my life is actually working fairly efficiently. The spiritual expression is coming forth great. My job has its moments and pays me sufficiently to cover what I need ... at least from the standpoint of those things I can buy. There is just a sense that I could do so much more if I were free, truly free. And what keeps me enchained? What prevents me from doing the things necessary to gravitate to my rightful place? Nothing. In fact, I am already doing such. One step at a time. Each step takes us closer to our date with destiny. All of us have a destiny. And, we will indeed achieve it. It is in the cards, so to speak. We cannot help but to be whom that we are. One way or another we will get there. Some go peaceably and quietly. Others go kicking and screaming all the way. It helps if we accept who we are. It helps even more if we discover whom that we truly are. No, the two are not the same ... not until we reach very advanced levels of awareness anyway. Just as individuals have a destiny, so there is a collective destiny as well. Spirit is evolving the collective to permit increased expression of spirit in flesh through the organizations formed within the collective. Governments, the education system, the health care system, the economic system, and the religious/spiritual organizations are a few organizations that are highly important. They provide us with most of what we need to function effectively and live decent lives. Many of these are already founded on spiritual building blocks. In the coming years, we will see this increase dramatically as spirit not religion begins to pervade our lives allowing us to create a true heaven on Earth. Then we will have manifested: on Earth as it is in Heaven. That is a very big thing indeed. But, we're not there yet. There is a lot of work to be done. And, spirit can only do that work through us. But, she will not force her way through. We have to volunteer. We are her eyes, her ears, her hands, her legs, her body, her mind, even her consciousness in flesh. With that we can do miracles ... not of our own accord, but because spirit does them through us. It is all a matter of believing, no knowing, that we are the instruments through which spirit expresses.

16 November 2003 Another day, another musing. That has been our fate for over a month and a half. This marks the first day of the second half of November. That makes it day 365 - 31 -14 = 320 for the year. I don't remember how many of those days that we have mused. But I think we were at 289 sometime last week. We should be on a 330 pace for the year. That would break last years record of 304 by 26. That's 1/12. That's the 138

equivalent of nearly an extra month of musing. That's still a month shy of a consecutive year of musings. However, good enough is good enough. There is only so much that we can expect of ourselves. Oh, it is far more than most people imagine. But, there are still limits. Perhaps as we grow in awareness the limits lessen. That seems to be the case for me to date. I imagine that I am not alone in this. Maybe I am not alone in anything. Perhaps there are unmet counterparts everywhere. Will I ever meet them? Something suggests that indeed someday I will. But is that out of my own desire or is it because we are destined to work together? I would hope that by now it would be the later. There is much that I can do. But together we can do far more to construct an even grander reality. I need to do my part. But, try though I might, I cannot take on the roles of others. However, if our paths cross, it is for a reason. Destiny doth bring us together to do something that neither of us can do alone. We have only to find what that is and do it with full hearts. It helps to be mindful to what we are dong as well. We need to be single-minded in our pursuits. So, what would be expressed today? It is ever a surprise. How can that be? It simply is. It has been that way since the expression began going on 11 years ago. Consciousness sets the agenda. I go along for the ride. And, some interesting rides we have taken over the years. Hopefully that comes across in what is expressed. That is my intent anyway. I believe that it is spirits as well. Yet, how do we describe flights of consciousness? We do what we do. Hopefully that is enough to trigger a similar awareness in you. This expression allows you to walk in my shoes, my consciousness for awhile ... and a long while at that if such is what you desire. Use what you find of utility in your life and leave the rest potentially for other times when it may serve you better. You are under no obligation to do anything with this expression except whatsoever you are moved to do. And, even then you have the choice to do it or not. I don't seem to be nearly as free. Expressing in this manner is far too important to me to even consider stopping. Yet, 2004 rapidly approaches and we still know not how we will be moved to express. There is a sense that it will be different, perhaps even unrecognizably so. That is OK. Different is good. It is all a matter of attitude. I choose to think positively. Further, I come from a state of knowing that is foreign to most. At least I think that's the case. My interactions with others are too few to know for certain. Not that it matters. We each have a level of awareness appropriate to what we need to experience and to express. No more and no less. None are greater and none are lesser in the eyes of God. We each came to manifest whom that we are to the degree that we can. And, whom that we are is greater than any of us have imagined. That reveals a natural limit of our imagination. There is only so much that it is capable of. After that, we have to go beyond imagination to find more. This we can do at anytime. But, for most it seems to take a major external trigger of some type. On and on we continue. Another musing doth we make in the process. All it takes is words. Of course, the right words in the right sequence ... but still words. It is amazing what 26 letters, 10 numerals, a space, a period, a comma, a left parenthesis, a right parenthesis, a colon, and a semicolon can do. Out of these basic building blocks, all words, all sentences, and all paragraphs in this expression are built. Amazing how that can happen. It is important to notice how important the space is to communication. Without it, our words would run together and our writings would be nearly impossible to read. Language is a very good thing. Though as stated many times, my particular forte is written expression. It is by far what I prefer. However, that doesn't mean that others share my preference. In fact, I know that there are many who don't. There are many who would much rather speak than read and write. Do I need to change my ways to enter their world? Or, can I find sufficient people with preferences similar to my own to interact with? Tonight we are going to stop at the lower limit for the expression. It is already 10:30 and I am weary. I haven't been sleeping very well of late. I'm not sure whether it's a side effect of the new medication or not. The doctor said difficulty sleeping might be a problem, and to switch to taking the pill in the morning if this happened. We'll try one more night. 139

I'm still moved to muse daily. I enjoy that. It says something about how important this expression is to my life. There is nothing else in my life that I am this committed to except my immediate family, my wife and three furry kids. I still live a very isolated existence. Is this by choice? I prefer my own company ... but, I have had occasions where I thoroughly enjoyed being with others. The most notable times were at Tony Robbins and Stuart Wilde seminars.

17 November 2003 The musings continue. One day at a time we find a way to string them together. This makes day 50 in a row. There have only been about three streaks longer than that, all of them last year. Not that the streaks matter much. The expression occurs when it does. By definition, what must be expressed is expressed. I could not stop it even if I wanted to. Right now, I still consider this to be the most important work of my life. It is interesting that it comes through as a stream of consciousness with no organization on my part ... at least no conscious organization anyway. So, what makes me believe that all of this is worthy of expression? Actually, the question doesn't make any sense. What is expressed is expressed, that is all that matters. It needs no justification. It needs no additional reason for being. It simply is what it must be. There is a destiny that is being played out in our lives. It is being played out everywhere we look. It is a spiritual destiny. We live in a spiritual world. It has always been so. But, with the change of an age, it is even more so. How can I know this? It just keeps coming through. Whether it is right or not, it seems that we shall know someday. Until then, we'll have to be satisfied that what is expressed may be so. How can all of this be expressed in the declarative? Why don't I question more of it? From the beginning nearly 11 years ago, that is just how it has been. I was not moved to question it. I as amazed that it could come forth at all. I'm still amazed by all of this. It truly is miraculous that the quantity and quality of material comes forth as it does. It blows me away at times. It is difficult accepting this at times. Why me? Why now? It is hard to keep from feeling special ... as if I have been handpicked by spirit to do this. But, my life has not been like other lives. Of course, it has been designed for me to do different things than others. I believe that I am doing that. I have been since 1993 and perhaps even earlier. I'm curious as to what others get from this expression. But, the only way for me to know that is for you to provide feedback. I encourage that you do so. It would help me to know. It also might influence what gets expressed. "One man can make a difference ..." The show that I was watching just had that line. I know that this is true. I believe that the Beyond Imagination expression will ultimately make a difference, a big difference. Why is that so important? Why can't I be satisfied living a normal life? Primarily because I am not normal or average. I have special abilities and talents that allow me to express in writing. I express a voice that I don't even know as my own. It comes from an inner source but that alone does not make it mine. I've literally connected to it for over the equivalent of a year of my waking life. That is a lot, especially considering that it occurred in 11 years. When you look at it like that, it is mind-boggling. However, what would I do with it? Do I need to do anything? Why not just let it run its own course? I can do as I moved to do. I don't need to force anything to happen. Then again, I am an instrument of spirit. And spirit does things in the world though us. We need to actively work towards things. We need to actively be the change that we want to see in the world. I can't make a difference if I don't find ways to touch other peoples lives. That is a major jump for me. Though, it seems that it is time that I make it. We've been speaking of this for months. When will we take the leap of faith into a new way of being? Is it too much to ask to get a sign as to when? Does this go against the advice of not lusting after outcomes? Am I trying to impose my will on the universe? Is it better to allow spirit to determine the outcomes? Do I not have enough to do just doing the things that I am moved to do? What is my overall job in the scheme of things? My sense is that it is to do more than I am doing. Further, I don't see myself 140

working alone. There is an outward expression that is yet to come. It started with the sharing of the Beyond Imagination expression. But, it needs to evolve even further to involving others closely. Right now, that is the key thing missing from my life ... close relationships with others. Why is it so important to reveal what is expressed here? Many would consider such information to be private. But, clearly I have a different view of that. In fact, I offer it to the world. Then, I believe there is only ONE consciousness and that we are all part of that. So, in revealing this information ... I'm really making it available to other aspects of my SELF. So, there is no breach of privacy. I do this willingly. I accept what is expressed. I feel no need to restrict or constrain it. Neither do I edit it. What comes forth comes forth. Do others express like this? If so, how might I find them? I'll find whom I am meant to find, one way or another. Such is how destiny plays itself out in our lives. It seems that I'm rambling more than usual tonight. Then again, who am I to judge what gets expressed? There is no need to judge anyway. There is especially no need to judge what spirit would do. How do I know what spirit would do? I simply do what I am moved to do trusting that spirit is doing the moving. Then again, that is true for all of us once we tap the source within. It is also true when we do the things that we love to do. There is something special about loving ones work. It transforms labor into fun. It is amazing what we can accomplish when this happens. We can be incredibly creative when we are properly motivated. Love is one of the universal motivators. It pushes us to be the best that we can be and to do works beyond imagination. I hope this expression offers some inspiration by demonstrating what is possible. If all of this can come forth through me, then what can come forth through you? It may be art, or music, or poetry, or sport, or any number of things. Whatever it is, is right for you. Expressions are not to be compared to one another. Each work stands on its own. There is a saying, by their works shall ye know them. Ultimately, that is what counts, the works that we do. But works are more than words. And, thus far, all that I have to show for myself is words. A lot of words, yes, but words nonetheless. Yet, words can lead to actions consistent with the words. Further, words can move others to action as well. Whether they will do so or not, we can't know in advance. But, whatever impact they are meant to have, they will have. When are the words going to move me to action? What am I moved to do next? Expressing and even publishing books is not enough. My spirit demands more. Further, I expect more from myself. We tend to live up to our expectations, no matter what they are. Further, the reality we experience tends to live up to our expectations as well. So, we need to be careful about what we expect. I forgot how slowly the expression proceeds when I watch television at the same time. My mind can operate concurrently. It just doesn't do so as fast. Also, it depends on how interesting the shows are. I've watched several episodes of Stargate-1. It is a fascinating show. So far, the episodes have all been new. It seems that I need to decide what I want to do and engage my mind and attention fully. Though, there is something to be said for being entertained. There are far worse things in life. In fact, all of life should entertain us. It is highly amusing when looked at in the right light. Spirit is light, in more ways than one. We live in a world of our own making. We create the reality that we experience. We do this every hour of every day so long as we walk the Earth. We do this individual and we do this en masse. It behooves us to learn how we do this and to practice until we become good at it. We have the potential to be experts. In fact, we are masters at other than conscious levels. We can become conscious masters if we so desire and are willing to put in the appropriate time and effort. Whence forth does this expression originate? I say it comes from source ... a place deep within me where I connect to a stream of consciousness. Is this my stream of consciousness? It comes forth through me, but that does not necessarily make it mine. Though, nearly everything that we do does indeed come from us. But, for this expression I have always said it comes through me not of me. Yet, in another breath I consider myself to be the author of these words. I am the one through whom they come. For all that I 141

know, all authors express in the same way. Though, perhaps not as automatically. There is something about that that is amazing as well. How could so much expression come forth without any conscious organization on my part. Many authors craft seemingly endless drafts, writing and rewriting their works many times. Such has never been my way. You might say that makes me lucky ... to have such a natural gift. Then again, what has luck got to do with it? Yes, I am grateful. But the gifts were things that I came into this existence with because I would need them to perform my mission. This is true for all of us. Each of us have our unique gifts and talents. They are meant to be used in service in some way. We have to find our place in the world. We have to find where we can make the greatest contribution. Still struggling more than usual. But, this should be our final leg for the evening. I have no idea what I've written to this point. It has stretched over many more hours than normal. That is OK. It made for an interesting journey anyway. Each day we go where spirit takes us. That we can do so day after day is a mystery. But then, life is a mystery. We tend to lose sight of this as we go through our lives. But, it doesn't have to be that way. We can remember the miraculous. There was a book by P.D. Ouspensky titled In Search of the Miraculous. I believe that I read it in the late 1970's. I have no clue as to what was in it anymore but I'm sure that I kept the book anyway. I read many books over the years, a good number of which I kept. Not that I've been moved to go back and read many of them a second time. It just seemed right to collect the books. I didn't really know of anywhere to recycle them. When we do finally start forming a community, we have the makings for a decent metaphysical lending library. That would be one of the foundations for a new world. Ideas are extremely important. And, metaphysical ideas are some of the most important around. I have been dealing with such ideas for over 30 years. That is a long time for one who is only 45, literally since my early teens and for all of my adult life.

18 November 2003 Another day, another musing. It has been happening like that for nearly two years. Will it go on for another year. Or, are there other activities in store for us? It seems that we'll see soon enough. There are only 43 days left in the year. I'm anxious as to what will happen. But, it is a positive anxious. I'm looking forward to what is to come, come what may. My life is an adventure in consciousness now. I am happy to go wherever she takes me. My life is in spirits hands now. It has been for some time ... perhaps even for my whole life. It is just that I did not recognize it until my awakening experiences in 1993. Awakening brings a new level of awareness. It is not clear how to describe it. It is just something that you have to experience. The mind cannot contain it. It is a beyond mind experience. It opens up a whole new dimension of freedom. Our minds may have a mental understanding that we create our own reality. They may even believe this to some degree in some areas of our lives. But, our spirits know that we create it all, no fine print, no exceptions. Things happen in our lives when we know that they will. But, even then we must leave the timing to spirit. Oh, there are some things that are within our power to create on our own. Putting down a wood floor in the house was primarily the result of a decision to do it, buying the wood, and applying the labor to make it so. Why is this communication any different. For one thing, it is not physical labor. Actually, it is not mental labor either ... it is spiritual labor. And with that, there is always an element of consciousness, of spirit flowing through us. This we can allow, but it is not clear that we can control. Then again, that is my experience to date. This may change as the years go by and as my consciousness evolves. For now, however, I can only report on what I have experienced. We'll leave the speculation to others. There is already much that has been expressed here that goes against consensus beliefs and perhaps even conventional wisdom. That does not matter. What is expressed is what is expressed. I am left with the task of accounting for how all of this could come forth through me. I can only conclude that it is destiny. This is what I am meant to be doing with my life now. I trust that when it is time to do something different, spirit will kindly inform me as to what that is.

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There is something to be said about living life in the moment. In many ways, it makes it easier. One trusts that by taking care of each moment, the future will take care of itself. This seems to work for most things. However, there are some things that need to be planned. Vacations are one example. There are not many others in my life. Even for work, I rarely have meetings identified more than a week ahead of time. Many people carry their day planners everywhere. I don't even own one. Further, I don't even wear a watch. I'm in front of the computer most of the day and it has a clock in the lower right corner. Interesting. I wonder how many others there are like me. Probably none ... but just maybe there are a few out there. Will I ever find them? If it is meant to be, there is nothing that can stop it. If it is not meant to be, there is nothing that can make it happen. So, be patient. Allow what would be to unfold in your life. You will indeed enjoy what comes. Know that. And, in the interim, find more ways to be in joy. You are not enjoying the process anywhere near as much as you could. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Follow your own directive: Be Happy and Create Well! There is a reason you use that particular closing. Part of it is a reminder to you every time you use it ... which is nearly everyday since it closes each musing. Happiness has eluded you more than is necessary. In some cases, you are trying too hard. In others, you are expecting too much of yourself. Look at all that has come forth through you already. At 45, you are already a published author with eight books totaling in excess of 4000 pages. That is a major achievement. You've shared more than most share in a lifetime. Not bad for a hermit who doesn't deal much with people. Yes, there is more that you can do and that you will be doing. Just don't push so hard. It will happen regardless of how hard you push. However, the more you push, the more resistance you may encounter. So, just allow it to flow naturally and act when you are moved to act. You still have many years ahead of you. There is much to do, but there is more than sufficient time to do it. We applaud your decision to work on your health. You've neglected your body for many years. The body is spirit, the same as everything else ... just a different vibration of manifestation. This makes the third time in 11 years that you've worked toward significant weight loss. The last two times you used supplements that altered your brain chemistry or were otherwise dangerous to you. This time the focus is on a lifestyle change involving a lower food intake and change in the types of food consumed. That is not the easiest of changes to make. Old habits die hard. However, we can do anything one day at a time. It is always interesting to see the changes in the expression where guidance is provided explicitly to me. Usually it is expressed in the plural "We" and expressed to me as "you". This doesn't happen a lot. But, when it does, it is usually particularly meaningful and encouraging. It helps to get such acknowledgement from time to time, especially since I don't get it from others much. That is primarily my fault. If I want feedback from others, I need to interact with them and cultivate friendships. Why don't I do this? I just never have. I'm not sure that I really know how. I get along well with others at work. But, I would not consider that the same as developing close relationships. What makes me think this will ever change? One, because I desire for it to change. Two, because I believe such change is necessary for me to do what I came to do. Hermits don't build communities. Though, they may indeed build the foundations for such. Hmm ... I'm still very much attached to my Hermit nature, perhaps overly so. That is not surprising given this has been my preferred nature for most of my life. Though I can get lonely at times. Spirit is wonderful. But that is not quite the same as having friends amidst ones contemporaries. Surely, there are other transcendentalists out there whom I could relate to deeply. How do I find them? Or, how do I facilitate their finding me? Have I truly done what I can do? There is an inner sense that no, I haven't. There are still other things that I can and must do if I want what I say that I want. Somehow, I need to make myself more available to others. My current lifestyle has me isolated much of the time. Overall, such solitude is a good thing for me personally. However, one can have too much of a good thing. I'm always going to require my periods of solitude. That is how I recreate and recharge my batteries. But, I also need my social times ... though these must be purposeful to keep my interest. Gossip and small talk 143

bore me. I would rather not interact than have to put up with that. This expression provides an example of the kinds of things that I would like to see discussed. I'm not sure what makes these paragraphs hang together as paragraphs. I hit the double carriage return when I feel that it is right to start anew. I don't use grammar or writing style rules to make these decisions. They occur automatically much as all of the expression does. Yet, I am an intimate part of the process as well. The words must come forth through my consciousness. Also, I've always used block paragraphs with blank lines between paragraphs rather than indenting the first word. It is just a personal preference. The sense is that this comes from doing it this way in times past. Who knows? What would I do next? I was waiting for that question to come. It was only a matter of time. But, I still don't know the answer. I know that I continue to be moved to express here. But, right now, that is about it. There is also a sense that I could be doing something more. However, exactly what that is still eludes me. I trust that when I need to know, I will know. That is how things work in my life. Spirit operates on a need to know basis. She feeds us what we need to know when we need to know it. Most of this occurs at other than conscious levels. That is OK. In general, we are all very competent at other than conscious levels. One of our objectives however is to live a more conscious life, a more spiritually aware life. To do that, we must open ourselves up to higher awareness and all that it has to offer. We speak with a voice that has no end. It is curious that we can do that here while we have so little to say in person to people. What can I say? It is easier here. And, I have a captive audience even though it is an unseen one. Regardless, I am moved to spend hours in this endeavor. Why? What is the ultimate worth of what I am doing? Is that something I can know? To date, I have trusted that since I am moved to do it, it must be worth it. I'm watching A Beautiful Mind. There is a line "I need to believe something extraordinary is possible" that caught my attention. It is the extraordinary in life that gives it meaning. I have always strived to be extraordinary in what I do. How is my condition different than that of John Nash? I don't suffer from schizophrenia and I don't see people that aren't there ... at least as far as I know. However, I have a mental condition nonetheless that is controlled via a combination of medications and just dealing with it. Mania is far more manageable to deal with than schizophrenia. Then again, I have a brother and sister that have had a far more difficult time with things than I have. It seems that mental conditions run in my family. That is positive in that it makes me different. However, learning to deal with things can be a bit tricky. We are all a bit crazy. Some of us more than others. That is OK. There is nothing wrong with being crazy so long as we learn to channel it effectively. I don't think of a career in the same way others do. I'm not actively climbing the corporate ladder of success. Rather, I am allowing myself to be pushed where spirit blows me. A job is not my lifes work. For now, it is the means of earning my livelihood so that I can do my lifes work. That is an interesting way of viewing things. I'm definitely not in love with my job or married to my job as some are. Though, my spiritual work is a different matter. This I do because I love doing it. Will my spiritual work be my only work at some point? I would hope that would be the case but it is not something that I can force. We need to do what we are good at doing. It helps if this is what we love as well. Can this work for everyone? Yes, for everyone who chooses to make it so. However, to make such a choice, we have to believe that this is within our power to do. We have to believe we are worthy of living such a life. The option of a life of spirit is always there. It is a matter of deciding that such is the life that we want to live.

19 November 2003 The musings continue ... 52 straight days and still counting. It is amazing to me that the flow can be so consistent and regular. Then again, I really don't have anything else in my life to compare this to. That is 144

OK. It doesn't really need to be judged or compared to anything. It is enough that it is created as it is. This expression brings meaning to my life. It is something that I do that is ultimately for more than me. At least, I strongly believe this to be the case. Hence the need to share it all. If this were not meant for others, I don't believe that I would be so moved to share it. Yet, at this point I do not even know with whom it is shared. That is OK. I can live with an unseen audience. Though it seems that some feedback and interaction would benefit the expression. Whether that will come to be or not remains to be seen. We will live with and respond to whatever spirit throws our way. Why is it that progress seems to be so slow in the spiritual domain? Several religions have been around over 2000 years. Why haven't they helped more to put our spiritual house in order? You would think that they would know by now what works and what doesn't. But, they have competing aims. If they truly set people free spiritually, they lose their control and their power. They exist because they provide a service to their constituents. It doesn't matter whether the service is needed or not. It only matters that it is perceived to be needed. I have stated before that I need no intermediary between spirit and me. There is no priestcraft that I trust to know more about this than I already know inside of myself. That puts a lot of reliance on inner sources. However, I have found that it is well founded. What we know inside is incredible. That is true for all of us. We just have to find and learn to tap these inner sources. Laptops are wonderful. I'm typing this in my car during a lunch break. I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to get as much of today's musing as I can as early as I can. I typed the above two paragraphs in the car before my meeting this morning. So, overall, I am being productive with my time. It is for us to make each moment count. We do so by applying ourselves fully to the job at hand. That is easier to do here than in my work. Though even there, I am highly effective at what I do. Could I do more? It seems that we could always do more. However, if I were to do more, it would most likely be in the Beyond Imagination expression. This is my true work. Though, to date, it has not been my paid work. Yes, I would like this to change and I've been doing things towards that end. But, either I haven't been doing the right things or I haven't allowed enough time for manifestation. If it is meant to be, it will happen. That is certain. I need to be patient and allow the forces of the universe to work. In the meantime, I am to continue doing as I am moved to do. Right now, that involves continuing with this expression. It seems that I can do that indefinitely. It is only a matter of becoming receptive and putting in the time. The words flow forth at a relatively constant rate ... 700 words per hours or so. It takes roughly 3 hours to reach my 2000 word quota. It is not clear that we'll make it there today given that we have a three plus hour drive home tonight. That's OK. I'll settle for whatever gets expressed. It is not like we have an overall shortage of words. We have lots of material for 2003 Musings - Vol III already and still have over 40 days left in the collection period. I estimate that we'll have another 500-600 page book as with the first two volumes. An ocean of words. That is what we have since the expression began. Is that too much for people to consume? It shouldn't be. We've broken it up into manageable chunks. There are over a thousand individual web pages at Beyond Imagination that vary in size from one page to as many as one hundred printed pages. Over two thirds of the web pages are musings of 1.5 to 3 printed pages. Yes, that is a lot of material. I've read all of it several times. Unfortunately even collectively, it is not clear that this is true for everyone else combined. Why should that be? Why haven't we reached more people in nearly eleven years of expression and eight years on the WWW? For one thing we haven't really done much advertising or promotion. We've left it to the universe to bring people to the site. And we got the results that we got as a result. I would have thought that word of mouth would have made more people aware of the site with people who found it and deemed it valuable sharing the URL with their friends. That would have suggested an exponential curve in site visits over the years. But until we started promoting this year, the visits were not only linear, they were roughly constant.

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Where will all of this lead? To wherever it is destined to lead. There is a spiritual destiny that is manifesting in our lives. This is true for all of us. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation. While we are physical we seem to forget who we truly are. Awakenings are bleedthroughs that help us to remember our true nature. They do this by changing our awareness. They allow an increased flow of consciousness through us. This can be channeled into any number of activities. Obviously, I channel it into this expression. Any form of creative or loving expression is fine. Some channel it into relationships ... with family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. Others channel it into their work. Awareness and love can transform any work into great work.

20 November 2003 Another day, another musing. We're rapidly closing on two months straight. It is amazing that we have so much to say. Or is it? We've been quiet for so long that perhaps it is time that we speak out for a change. Then again, that's what I've been doing with this expression for going on 11 years. Can it really be that long already? One would have thought that I would have reached more people by now. One thing is certain. The time has flown by faster than any other time in my life. Perhaps that is in part because I'm getting older. However, a big part is simply that I've been busier. With a halftime spiritual job in addition to working full time ... that doesn't leave a lot of free time. Overall, that is not important since the time that I do have is used productively. I enjoy the spiritual job immensely. Further, I consider this expression to be the most valuable part of my existence. Here I am doing something that may impact and move others. There is great power in words when they are used effectively. I like to think that the words coming forth through me are indeed effective. However, I only know what they do for me firsthand. I am more conscious and more alive as a result of this expression. That is a lot of impact in and of itself. I would hope that others are impacted in a similar manner. However, whether they are or not, this expression has great value ... even if only to me. We shall see soon enough what value spirit places on it. If my instincts are right, she will agree with me. And, the reward for providing services of great value is unlimited abundance. So long as I continue to serve to the best of my abilities ... I will be abundant on all levels of my life. However, we must remember to serve first. Everything begins with service. We create a better society by serving one another better and taking care of each other. While we may be individuals, we are also members of a society. If we focus too much on the individual, the society, the whole suffers. If we focus too much on the society, particular individuals may not get what they need. The whole objective is to meet needs. That is what spirit does, she meets needs wherever she finds them. As spirit expressed in flesh, we have our part to play in this. We continue to write word after word, an endless sequence that passes from the unknown to the known before our very eyes. We do this because we can and because we must. We are moved by a force we choose not to resist. It has been this way since the writings began on 5 March 1993. That is the day that Beyond Imagination was born ... 34 days prior to my 35th birthday. I was excited by the expression. I experienced it as a spiritual awakening, an opening of parts of myself that had been hidden before. Over the next seven months I had a Beyond Mind experience that completely shattered much of what I believed and most of what I thought that I knew. I still remember the excitement of those days as if it was yesterday. I don't get as excited anymore. The medications keep me in check. I'm not completely sure that is good. However, I've experienced what happens when I fail to take my meds for a lengthy period of time. It landed me in the mental hospital for a second time and in many ways was more difficult to deal with than the first time. In some ways I am still coming to grips with this second experience. Maybe I'll never understand it completely. It seems that parts of life are meant to be mysteries despite our most valiant efforts to understand them. Why is this coming up now? What has any of this to do 19 November 2003? We're 5 years and 7 months later given that the second episode came to a head in about this time in April 1998. 5 x 365 + 7 x 30 = 1825 + 210 = 2035. I've thought my life would end around 2024-2028. 146

In 2035, I would be 77:The Falconer = CHRIST. Hmm ... This would increase my remaining life span from 25 to 32:"I AM Race" years. How do I know this is lifespan related? It just seems to be a natural connection. There is a reason that I was moved to bring this up today. And, following the stream of consciousness led from one thing to the next to the next. This is how information is unveiled in my life. Driving to work this morning, I wasn't paying much attention. All of a sudden, I noticed that the car directly in front of me had 888 in its license plate. Yesterday, a truck pulled in front of where I was parked. It had ZZZ, another form of 888, in its license plate. The universe is trying to tell me that I am carrying out 2184 = 888(16) ... my mission. I've also seen many variations of 2184 in the past few days. This generally means that something special is about to happen. I'm anxious to see what it will be. What can I say. I don't make up what I see. Though, I clearly filter and select what I see and pay attention to. We are free to see the world through any glasses that we choose. However, we need to be careful not to conclude that what we see is the world. It is a representation of it, a representation that is an approximation. It may be correct in some areas but is probably woefully inadequate in other areas. Part of our challenge is to learn to detect the differences and get the appropriate glasses through which to see the world in a way that is most effective for carrying out our mission. This is distinct for each of us. Our worlds are not the same. They are not meant to be. They may overlap and even intertwine in places ... but they are still distinct.

21 November 2003 Here we go again ... allowing consciousness to express through us as she will. I had to replace my VCR today. The other one developed a power problem and wouldn't work anymore. I was amazed that the price of a VCR was only $69. I was even more amazed that the price for a DVD player was $20 less than that. However, I have a collection of videocassettes that I would like to play on occasion. Movies are one of the luxuries that I allow myself. Even then I don't go out to movies very much, I don't rent movies very often, and I only buy them occasionally. I try to buy movies that are good enough that I might want to watch them more than once. And, with many of my movies, that is indeed the case. I also like my movies to have spiritual messages. It is surprising how many movies contain these. Then again, the set of movies that I watch are a select set. They aren't representative of what's available. I don't do horror, and rarely do action/adventure or comedy. Nearly everything I watch is drama. Perhaps it is a substitute for something missing from my life. There is something about movies. You suspend disbelief for two hours to allow a set of images, music, and dialogue take you into a different world. It doesn't matter that it is only being acted. While you are engaged in it, it feels real ... so much so that it can get your heart pumping and move you emotionally and on occasion spiritually. The days continue to march on. I have a two day work week coming up next week. Too bad they can't all be like that. Actually, I don't mind working ... and even working long hours. I would just prefer to do it on my own terms. I consider this expression my spiritual work. It would be great if I could be compensated for it as my way of earning of livelihood. But how do I go from it would be great if to it is so? That is a major jump that seems to be beyond my ability to make. However, if I don't control the jump then how is it ever going to happen. It seems that we are more empowered than we know, each and every one of us. I sense that change is in the air again, major changes in many areas. Change is good. It gives us something new to deal with in our lives. We need to be flexible enough to accommodate and even embrace change for the many gifts that it offers. This past century is a case in point. The world at the end of the century was a very different place than the world at the beginning of the century. Technology went through incredible advances. The airplane gave many people access to more of the world than had ever 147

been visited before. Literally, within hours one can traverse distances that took days or even weeks before. The personal computer has opened up whole new realms of efficiency in performing white collar work. The internet and low priced personal computers has allowed more people to connect throughout the world than was ever possible before. This very expression could not have reached you in this manner as few as a dozen years ago. It took the WWW, web browsers, and appropriate tools to create web pages to allow all of this to manifest. Even web browsers have come a long way in the past decade. I still use Netscape primarily. However, some pages require Internet Explorer to function properly. One of the benefits of Netscape is Composer. That is the tool that I use to create all of this. I type directly into composer so the expression automatically comes out as web pages. What would I do next? Five simple words. Yet, the answer is illusive. I do what I am moved to do in the moment. What matters is what is right in front of me to do here and now. Naturally that will lead to whatever is next. It is best to take things one step at a time and trust that you will be shown the next step once you finish taking the present one. This is the Way of the 0:Fool in the Tarot. He knows that there is always room for one more step, no matter how close to the edge of the cliff he gets. We have been to the edge of the cliff many times ... indeed, to the very edge of sanity. However, we have also flown to great heights of spirit. Twice we have crossed the boundary of what was deemed to be sane. Both times it took about ten days to get back on the road to recovery and 3 months of medical absence to be ready for work again. It seems that twice is sufficient. We learned our lesson and now take our medications daily. It is amazing that a few pills per day can alter the brain chemistry in a manner that allows us to function in the world. Note, I didn't say in a manner that makes us normal. We still fly in consciousness in a variety of manic states. This is not normal behavior. Though, in my case, it seems to be a mark of awakened behavior. Yes, I consider myself to be awakened. It took a lot of work to get there. But, ultimately it was a lightning bolt from spirit that took me beyond mind that allowed me to see in whole new ways and realize that I was more than an actor in this drama ... I was an observer as well. This was a giant leap, one that allowed all that has been expressed in this stream of consciousness to come forth. I still have not fully got in touch with the creator part of myself. I believe that it exists, but it still operates on other than conscious levels in my life. It just struck me that evidence of this creator self is in this very expression. It is clearly not the actor doing this. The observer watches ... it doesn't create anything. Creative expression comes from spirit through the creator part of ourself. So, it has been staring me in the face all along. But, how do I apply it in a manner that allows me to create things in my life? Is that even what I want to do? Be careful what you wish for. What you create, you are responsible for. That is OK. I have no fear of responsibility.

22 November 2003 Another day, another musing. This makes 2 + 31 + 22 = 55 straight and counting. I like seeing the consistency and the regularity of expression. There is something special about what comes forth here. These are not your ordinary words ... or my ordinary words for that matter. These words spring from a higher source, from a higher consciousness. Yet, in a very real way, I am that consciousness. However, at the same time, it is more than what I know myself to be. How do I know this? I just know. The knowingness comes from the core of my being. It's curious that we have 55 on the 11/22 day. That's three master numbers, even more if you include combinations: 11, 22, 33, 55, 66, 77, 88

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Everything through 88 except for 44. That should make the day quite special. It started with a big mess in the pool. The wind blew hard all night and the pool was filled with dirt and leaves. Then the pool cleaner got hung up on a rock, resulting in $60 damage in addition to $30 in other parts that had to be replaced. It is not clear we've made it to the special part of the day yet. Then again, that is what we come here for. This expression makes every day we engage in it a special day. What is expressed becomes a permanent part of history ... a record of consciousness in action. It will be interesting to see what impact this expression ultimately has. I see its impact on me firsthand. But, there is a strong sense that it is meant to impact others in a similar way. We have yet to see feedback that shows this. We don't know how many people are finding and reading the Beyond Imagination expression. We have a few counters on key pages that allow us to gauge traffic, but none of these are on the Musings page. For the past several years, and especially for the past two years, the Musings page is where the latest expression has been generated. Here I come day after day to bring forth a stream of consciousness. For some reason, it is important that I capture and share this stream. It is meant to be an example of what is possible. And, if I can do such as this ... what can you do of equal importance in your life? I'm sure there is something. It is a matter of seeking it and finding it. That you can do at anytime. It is a matter of learning to look within for answers to what you seek. Or inner self is wise beyond measure. It is simply a matter of allowing it to guide us. Too many people fight the inner self and insist on doing things their way. This can work at times. However, why fight with such an important part of us? It seems far easier to cooperate and trust that it knows what it telling us. In 11 years, I have not known this inner self to steer me wrong. I haven't always followed its guidance ... not the first time around anyway. But, eventually I see the light and abide by the guidance. One could do far worse than to have a personal guide in one's life. Just checked the word count. It was 555, a master number of a different type ... in this case, a triple. We are familiar with triples. I have one associated with me, 2184 = 888(16). This country was founded in 1776 = 16 x 111 = 2 x 888. The year 1998 = 2 x 999 = 18 x 111 was the last major triple year. That was the year of my second experience beyond the realm of consensus reality. It was far stranger than the first ... though it took similar time in the hospital and the same amount of time in a medical leave of absence to deal with the reality that I was creating. There are still things about that time that I haven't fully integrated. Perhaps I never will. Life is meant to be experienced, not necessarily understood. We experience exactly what we need to experience. How do I know this? Because we are creating it all, every aspect, every detail. We are choosing exactly what we need to experience. Most of us do the choosing on other than conscious levels. Does that mean we don't really choose? If I choose and am not aware of it, am I really choosing? Even if I'm aware of choosing, how do I know that I am in fact choosing? After all, we are never given the opportunity to go back and make a different choice. How do we know that the choices we seem to make are not scripted in advance ... and that we just experience the choices that are meant to be made? The bottom line is that we don't know. This is a possibility, maybe even a likely one. But, what about all the hoopla about free will? What about it? What is wrong with living in a world where the things that matter most are destined to happen? There is a spiritual destiny unfolding in each of our lives. It is unfolding whether we believe in God or not and whether we believe in spirit or not. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation. There is no way to escape our spiritual nature. We can hide from it, and we can try to deny it. But, that will only succeed for so long. At some point we come to realize who we are ... and once we do, we are never the same again. That is what self-realization is all about. As far as I know, there is no methodical path to awakening. Yes, there are many things that one can study and learn, but awareness is elusive. It takes a singularity, a breakpoint, to make the leap to higher awareness. I can lead you to the water of consciousness ... and provide examples of what an aware being is able to express. But, these only point the way. You have to find what works for you. You have to take the leap of faith and trust the guidance you receive from within. It would be great if I could say that if you follow steps 1 through 10 you will reach enlightenment. Perhaps there are some who can do that. I, however, am not such a teacher. Though, I know that you too are 149

capable of doing all that I have done and more. It is a matter of desire, discipline, listening, trusting, and acting.

23 November 2003 The consecutive musings continue. Each day we are moved to come here to express. And, each day we do as we are moved. As we do so, this expression gets created. It is a stream of consciousness. As such, what comes forth each day is different than the rest. Also, if we miss a day, we have no clue as to what goes unexpressed. It may be that the stream just picks up where it left off regardless of the length of time between musings. But, something about that doesn't seem right. There is a sense that opportunity is involved here. And, if it is not taken, it is lost. That is part of the motivation for the directive to make the most of each moment ... and by doing so, the most of each day. For me, this expression still constitutes making the most of my day. Yes, it is that important. To me, but hopefully to others as well. That still means doing what it takes to acquaint others with the Beyond Imagination material. Here I am on new ground. Advertising and dealing with others are not my strongest suits. In fact, my preference is to not do either if I could carry out my mission otherwise. However, I believe I am meant to be working closely with others. Not a lot of others, but at least a few others. How will I find them, or how will they find me? It seems that we need a condensed form of the Beyond Imagination material that could provide a good introduction. Several weeks ago, I completed a short introduction of about four pages. That is a start. But, we need to be able to address what next. That means either pointing people to appropriate pages, or generating a new page that conveys what we want to communicate. At this point, I opt for the later though I may change my mind once I get into it. We are moved by a source that we can't even explain. Naming something is not the same as explaining it or knowing it. The label does not equal the thing. The label doesn't even describe the nature of the thing. Yet, as a society and a species, that is what we often do ... we name things. We know that the name is not the thing, but many often forget this. They prefer to live in a world where they seem to know more than they do. This is easy to do. It is easy to be deceived for so long as we will allow it. But, there is a way out of the illusion into the brightness of spirits light once again. We need to be careful about the assumptions that we make. We need to be humble of character. We need to be appreciative of all that spirit brings into our lives. We need to watch those things that we know about versus those things that we truly know. There is a difference. We can live a conscious life full of meaning. We can just as easily live an other than conscious life with similar fullness of meaning. What matters is to realize the spiritual beings that we are. More than that, we need to be and express this as well. That can be difficult to do at times. But the challenge is more than worth it in the end. Life is a training ground and a playground for spirit. This is where spirit is able to express physically. But, she can't do this on her own, she can only be physical through us. This has been true for untold ages. We are the vessels through which spirit expresses in flesh. It is for us to do what we can open the channel so that we can allow the clearest expression of which we are capable. This is far more than the vast majority have ever imagined. We will be amazed by what we will be able to do when spirit works through us. It will be truly phenomenal. It will indeed. In-deed, it is in the deeds that we do that we make a difference in our lives. In the end, it is our works, what we do, that distinguishes us. There are many things that we can do with our lives. It is the things that are most aligned with spirit that matter most to me. Then again, I'm sure that doesn't surprise you if you've spent any time with the Beyond Imagination works. It seems that greater works than these are yet to be accomplished. My sense is that they will be something more than words. Though, there is nothing wrong with words. In fact, we've expressed over 3 million of them since 1993. Words have the power to move us to action. The right words at the right time have the power to change the world. What makes it so important that I have world import? It is almost as if such is the only 150

way to give my life the meaning it is due. But, I'm only one person out of six billion people in the world. Why do I push myself so hard? I've said before that spirit is a slavedriver. But, I say that in a loving sort of way. She pushes me to bring out the best in me. Yes, it is hard at times. But, it is worth it. I can't imagine having gone through the past 11 years without this expression there to anchor and to guide me. I have yet to find anyone outside of me that is truly able to help me to integrate all that I have experienced. I have been a soul in the midst of an extended spiritual awakening. Only, I wasn't given any idea about what this would entail. Further, what help I did receive did not buy the spiritual awakening explanation. The diagnosis was bipolar or manic/depressive illness. I still don't know how that can be given that I haven't experienced being depressed. In some respects, I'm lucky. Mania is far easier and more fun to take. For me, the experience is one of soaring in consciousness. There is an increased feeling of being able to do anything that I choose to do.

24 November 2003 We'll do something different today. I had to answer some interview questions regarding some of my work. I thought it appropriate to capture the responses since they were essentially stream of consciousness just as this expression is. They provide you with some insight as to who I am and why I write that is different than I have expressed before. BOOKS & AUTHORS: Q&A [BEYOND IMAGINATION] 1. Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life? WH: I grew up in Southern California. My dad was in the Navy, so we moved nearly every year until about the eighth grade. Being shy, this made it difficult for me to form any real friendships. So, I retreated into the world of books. My first love was science fiction. In 1974, at age 16, I discovered metaphysics and began a love affair that lasts to this very day. From 1974-1993, I estimate that I read over 1000 metaphysical books. As to writing, I did the normal writing in school, and was good at it overall but I was not moved to write my own material until 5 March 1993. On that day, a switch went off inside me, and all of a sudden I became a metaphysical information generator. Who were your earliest influences and why? WH: Plato’s Dialogues, The Seth Material, Paul Twitchell, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and Pirzig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance caused a giant leap in my consciousness at age 16. I encountered all of these at about the same time. They taught me things that were unlike anything I was learning in school. The Seth Material by Jane Roberts was particular mind-blowing. It is still among the best channeled material ever brought forth. It is the standard by which to judge such expression. This focus on such “extraordinary” material also led to increased isolation because there was no one in my life that I could talk to about these things. In many ways, that is still the case for much that I experience. 2. Why do you write? WH: This one is simple. I write because I am moved by spirit to write. There is an inner need to capture the stream of consciousness that is able to flow from spirit through me. Even after close to eleven years, there is no sense that I do this consciously. Rather, there is an other than conscious part of me that receives information from my intuition and passes it on as a stream of consciousness. I would guess that over three million words have come forth to date. And, there is no sense that they are going to stop anytime soon. I have no basis for comparing how and why I write to how and why others write. I only 151

know that this is part of carrying out the mission that I came to carry out. Capturing this expression provides an example of what consciousness is capable of if we set her free to express in our lives. Also, I write because this is one of my strongest natural abilities as revealed in my astrology chart and aura. 3. Please explain your books BEYOND IMAGINATION: THE EARLY WORKS & BEYOND IMAGINATION: BEST PASSAGES FROM 2002 MUSINGS -- These are a collection of your personal thoughts and musings - What motivated you to publish them? WH: Personal thoughts and musings may be a bit of a misnomer. Yes, this material can get personal. And, yes, it did come through me. However, it is not even clear to me that the material is “by me”. The Beyond Imagination books for the most part are stream of consciousness expressions. I try not to get in the way of what is expressed. Clearly, I do not control what is expressed sentence to sentence, much less paragraph to paragraph and musing to musing. The Early Works is the only work written as a traditional book with chapters and a focused message. It includes the Beyond Imagination book that provides a good introduction to what Beyond Imagination is; Reality Creation 1010, a channeled work addressing an important metaphysical topic in a new way; and a selection of Best Quotes from the first year of Beyond Imagination. Best Passages from 2002 Musings is just what it says. 304 musings were generated on different days in 2002. This book captures the best of that expression in an attempt to share it with an audience. The material is quote rich and deals primarily with how consciousness, how spirit expresses in flesh. I choose to publish the books to make the material available to a wider audience than the Beyond Imagination web site [http://www.redshift.com/~beyond] was drawing. Many people prefer the convenience of a book to screen after screen of information. In 2003, we have published most of the material expressed at the Beyond Imagination site in a series of eight books that span a ten year period of expression. 4. BEYOND IMAGINATION: THE EARLY WORKS & BEYOND IMAGINATION: BEST PASSAGES FROM 2002 MUSINGS are original as you don't see too many published books like these - In the decade of reality television do you feel this may be a literary genre that may get more attention? WH: That was my take as well. When the Beyond Imagination material started coming forth, it was unlike anything that I had ever read. I couldn’t get enough of it. However, I also know myself to be a wayshower. So, early on I knew that this material was meant to be shared. It didn’t matter how personal it was. It didn’t matter that I effectively operated as a hermit. At some level we are ONE. At that level, all that any of us experience, we all experience. For me, it was a simple matter to make a conscious choice and share all of this with others. There are people doing journals and blogs and making these available for others, but I don’t see that being the same thing. We’ll have to see what interest people have in such works before we know for certain what kind of impact they will ultimately have. I see this as different from reality TV because that is dealing with how people respond to specific situations. Here, we see what consciousness says about the nature of reality, reality creation, consciousness, awareness, spirit and the like. These are topics typically left to philosophers and academics. However, these are things that we all experience directly everyday. As such, they are universally applicable. 5. What do you feel your books contribute to the reader? Why should a reader buy and read your books? WH: The chief contribution to the reader is to provide an example of an aware consciousness confronting its reality. This is more than guidance. This provides an opportunity to walk in my consciousness and see the world as I do for awhile, a long while if the reader so chooses. My hope is that in so doing, the readers will be led to expanded awareness in and of their own. There is a lot of Beyond Imagination material to experience. There is a difference between telling someone something and taking them on a 152

journey into the realms of consciousness. It is the journey that makes the difference. We would hope that readers would buy and read our books to do just this … to experience the journey and to expand their awareness as a result. 6. What do you feel is the difference from "Musings" and entries from a personal diary? WH: I don’t have any experience with a personal diary. Though, I would imagine that the chief difference is the nature of the material due to the source from which it comes. It seems that a diary would be the ego’s way of writing down and dealing with it experience. The Beyond Imagination expression, including the Musings, comes from a deeper source that I reach through my intuition. I believe the source to come from consciousness/spirit directly. For one thing, I would not expect a diary to be so full of quote-rich material. Yes, that is one of the things that still amazes me to this day … that there could be so many good quotes contained in the expression. 7. What has been your feedback from readers? WH: So far it has been positive overall. Though, there has not been a lot of feedback to date. I encourage more. Feedback is one way we learn whether our actions are hitting the mark or not. It is extremely important to the functioning of society, especially if we expect to improve anything within that society. 8. What's next? WH: More books, of course. In addition to the eight Beyond Imagination books published to date, we have another three or four planned for 2004 depending on how spirit moves us. Also, we expect to outreach more and try to make a lot more people aware of the Beyond Imagination works and our mission of building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. 9. What was the last book you read? WH: The Monk who Sold his Ferrari. It is a wonderful little book, full of spiritual meaning. It is packaged in a story format that is brilliant and timeless. Actually, that is not quite the last book. I’ve read several of my own again since than. 10. Do you have any hobbies? What are they? How do they enhance your writing? WH: My chief hobbies are reading, writing, and numerology. I spent over 20 years reading extensively in metaphysics before I ever sat down to write. Numerology has opened a whole new realm of spiritual meaning that mathematics and logic completely ignored. Math was my favorite subject in school. It seems only appropriate that I would find an intuitive “art” that used the same symbol set to uncover spiritual meaning via numbers. I actually vary this a bit by tying the numbers to Tarot symbology. The reading opens me up to new ideas from others. The numerology and tarot opens me up to signs from spirit. Both are reflected in what I am moved to write, though usually indirectly. END OF INTERVIEW. It was interesting to have to focus on questions from someone else. Also, I noticed that the pace was quite a bit faster than for normal musings. There is no reason that I couldn't use a similar format and ask myself sets of questions. Though there is something about responding to others that gets the creative juices flowing differently. This is what increased interaction with others could bring into my life. There is a 153

sense that this is exactly what I need. The timing is perfect somehow. I am ready to jump into a new reality. I am ready to be different in order to experience differently. It is one thing to say that. It is quite another to back it with action in our lives. Yet, it is ultimately our actions that count. What we do makes all of the difference. Hmm ... perhaps we can try an experiment for December and use questions to guide the expression and see where that leads us. We already have 302 musings for the year, only two shy of last years record. It is time for something new. Also, this can help lead into whatever changes are in store for the expression in 2004. We need more focus. Questions are a way to get that. However, hopefully we will not find this to be as difficult as taming a wild river. We have been so used to free expression of this stream of consciousness that there could be some resistance. Though, I did not find that to be the case at all today. Perhaps we are being concerned over things that we have no need to be concerned about. That wouldn't be the first time. Though, I am not the worrier type. I trust the universe to provide me with the experiences that I need to learn and to grow and to be and express whom that I am.

25 November 2003 I liked what we did yesterday. It is too bad we can't be interviewed by others more often. The questions provide some structure ... yet still allow great freedom in how we address them. We can still respond in a stream of consciousness fashion, even to questions that are about my personal life. It is interesting that it works that way. But, the writing process is automatic for me. It is not something that I have to think about doing. I just do it and am amazed by what comes forth. Yes, even after over ten years. In fact, just last night I was commenting on material that I wrote in June of 1993, just three months after the writing began. It literally blew me away to see what I was experiencing and expressing. It takes a lot to do that. I have the fortunate job of integrating how all of this could come forth through me. I don't need to explain it. I just need to accept and integrate it with my concepts of whom that I am. For one thing, I am the being through whom this expression can come. That alone says alot about my level of awareness and my mission to serve on a grand scale in this existence. I don't believe in starting small. That works for some. But, in my case it seems that a bigger leap of faith is required. Much that I say cannot be proven one way or another. It falls legitimately in the realm of belief. The only true measure of beliefs is their utility. Do they serve us and those we touch? How would I change the world? To start with, I would work on building better foundations that permit spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. This requires spiritual foundations to our government, economic, educational, and even religious organizations. Yes, even religious organizations have gone astray from basic spiritual principles. Part of this is because they don't truly empower their members. Spirituality ought to be a way of life for everyone. Without it at the core, civilization is lost. No, this does not mean everyone needs to join a religion and go to church each week. We can embed spiritual principles everywhere in our lives. If we truly look, we will find that they are already there. They can't help but to be. We are all spiritual beings having a physical experience. As such, our real nature is spiritual. It has always been thus, and will always be thus. It can be no other way. One thing absent in our current society is a viable definition of what equality is and what that entitles us to. In nearly every aspect of our lives things are unequal: talents, abilities, income, possessions, education, jobs, responsibilities, opportunities, etc ... So, in what respects are we created equal? We are all souls enfleshed. We are all here to create our reality, and by so doing to learn who we are, and to do whatever tasks that we are destined to do. How can I speak of creating reality and destiny in the same breadth? Aren't these two concepts opposed to one another? Perhaps they are to some degree. However I don't see it that way. I see our destiny as being chosen by our soul ... so ultimately we choose it at an other than conscious level. It is not clear what options are available within that overall destiny framework that 154

provides opportunity for conscious choice. The bottom line is that it doesn't change how I live my life whether I have conscious choice or not. I live my life trying to do the right thing at each point. I don't always succeed, but I generally learn from my failures. I believe that all of us are doing this. All of us are doing the best we can under the circumstances that we find ourselves. What most fail to consider is that they have attracted these very circumstances into their lives. If we knew this and knew how we did it, we might be able to change what we experience. The biggest leverage points for creating this change are our beliefs and how we interpret the meaning of what we experience. If we can sit back and be the observer for awhile, we will be amazed at the insight we can gain as to how the process works. This is a process of discovery. If you haven't become used to it yet, I highly advise that you enter the observer state on a regular basis ... the more you can do it the better. At first you may find you have to quiet your mind and cease any activity to allow you to do it. But, eventually, you will find that this is a concurrent activity that you can engage in even as you go through your day to day business. As you do so, you will be more aware of what is happening both to you and around you. This includes seeing insight coming from inner sources. From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs. I've said before that we need a social contract, a sacred commitment that we make to one another that defines what we are expected to give to society and what in turn we can expect from society. Pure communism offers the clearest expression of this contract that has been expressed to date. Actually, this is only the economic part of the contract. Be Kind and Do Good! This is another directive that expresses a more spiritual component that addresses how we interact with others. Everything starts with kindness. That is key to creating a better world. Doing good, doing what we know to be right is also important. Do as thou will, so long as ye harm no one. This is another one. It comes from Wicca. It has been around for a long time. It permits a freedom of expression so long as it is not to the detriment of others or oneself. There is something added to this to the effect that "this be the whole of the law". Never take more than you give! This one is from The Lion King. It succinctly states how to achieve abundance in society. If everyone gives more than they take, there is always a positive balance. There is always a surplus. In a service focused world, there are always new services that can be created and provided to society. This is an open ended game that we are playing. If we do it right, the surpluses should be able to allow us all to live as kings. I figured out that I'm into publishing this expression to the tune of over $4000 dollars this year, not counting the cost of a computer on which to do the work. That's a tidy sum. What do I have to show for it? I have eight published books and three more in varying stages of completion. In addition, I have an advertising package for the first book published and another advertising page being created for the Beyond Imagination books at another site. Actually, that is a lot for the money, especially when you consider my equivalent labor cost to express the material and to generate the books exceeded 5000 hours or $250,000. That's in the range of $30,000 per book to cover my time at the current rate that I am paid. It is interesting when you look at it like that. Will the works ultimately compensate me for their 155

generation? Hopefully they will do this handsomely. But, that is not why I created them in the first place. Yes, it was one of the motivations for publishing the books. But, since the beginning, I have expressed because I was moved to express without regard to where it would ultimately lead. I do this because I love doing it. I do this because I am moved by spirit to express in this way. However, that is not enough for me anymore. I would prefer to earn my livelihood doing what I love to do. Yet, at my job, I also use talents and abilities that are natural for me. I enjoy using these as well. However, it is as if I live in two different worlds ... in many ways. For one thing, my workweek world and my weekend world are completely different and don't interact. In fact, they are 120 miles apart. For another thing, my work world and my spiritual world are completely different. They involve different people and use very different talents and abilities. I'm the glue that somehow holds this thing that is my life together. I can definitely think of better ways to live. But, I don't yet know how to make it so other than following where spirit leads me and trusting that along the way and in the end I will be exactly where I am meant to be. I trust that there is a destiny playing itself out in my life. I've known this for many years ... long before this expression began. Where it will lead is not important. That it will lead me to carry out my mission in life is all that counts. Unlike many others, I did not come to simply taste of the fruits of earthly delights. That was not enough to draw me back. I came to play a particular role during the transition of an age. In this case, the transition is from the Piscean to the Aquarian age. What does that really mean? That's what we have astrologers for. They know the characteristics of these two signs and how they differ from one another. Since ages last over 2000 years, we don't really have a history that would tell us what to expect. In fact, this particular transition last occurred over 25,000 years ago ... well before any recorded history that I know about. However, each year we go from Aquarius to Pisces in the last week of February. So we have a similar transition in reverse on a local scale. Even so, this should give us a strong hint of what is to come. I've read enough astrology books that you might think that I would have a clue by now. However, my memory is such that I forget things as soon as I read them ... perhaps even faster sometimes. Oh, I trust that it all goes into my mind and is captured somehow. I just don't have the methods necessary to access it consciously. Further, in my 45 years of existence to date, I have found that my mind functions perfectly adequately. I believe the fact that my mind is a blank slate so much of the time is the very reason that this expression is able to come forth as it does. The stream of consciousness must have a place that it can go for it to be expressed. I've chosen to allow that to be my mind and my consciousness. Why me? If not me, who? It seems that someone has to do what I do. Someone has to allow spirit to express in this way. Someone has to be a wayshower and show people what is possible. I can do that just as well as anyone. Though, I must do it in my own way. There are others who can speak and lecture. It is not clear that such is for me. My forte is what you see here ... the written word. This is what I do. This is how I express. In fact, this is my preferred mode of interaction with others. There is something about the anonymity. Though that is only partial. My name, my e-mail address, and even my home address can be found at the Beyond Imagination site. I encourage contact and feedback. I don't really care whether it is positive and constructive or not at this point. I'm just looking for something that tells me how this expression impacts you.

26 November 2003 What can we say? This makes 59 straight days of musing. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day however. It may not be so easy to find the time to express here. We'll just have to see how it goes. I believe this also ties last years record of 304 musings for a year. And, we still have over a month remaining. We've started back on the annotations to Beyond Mind. I have many days of vacation at the end of the year. If things go well I should be also be able to complete 2003 Musings - Vol III by the first or second week in 156

January. The thing that takes the most time is the proofing. However, it is a necessary chore to make the books as professional as I can before they are published. So, what would we express today? We never really know what is going to come forth from consciousness. Listening to a tape by Wayne Dyer on Higher Awareness, one thing struck me deeply. Something to the effect that the voice from intuition is God's way of speaking to us. Much of what is expressed here is just that, intuition coming through. I don't know how else to explain it. It just happens. The voice from inside just appears in my head. I liken myself to a scribe of old. Only my consciousness is a bit more involved in the process. It is curious that all of this would come forth through me. I can only conclude that it is destined. When I am doing it, I know that this is clearly one of the things that I am on the planet to do. It may well be the most important work of my life. Yes, I already know this. There is something special about this expression. That has been clear from the very beginning. I consider myself fortunate to be in this position. The role that I came to play is not your usual role. From the quantity of this expression, you can tell that I've been listening to the inner voice a lot. As a strong introvert, that seemed to be the natural thing to do. I don't know how others experience this. It seems that extroverts might have a much more difficult time at this. Then again, that may just be the way it is. It takes all kinds to make the world go round as they say. At some level we are ONE. So, what I do others can benefit from directly. What I do, I do not for me alone. This is a service to spirit that I perform. My hope is that it would benefit many before my time on the planet is done. But, it may be that this expression is before its time. It may or may not be. We'll just have to see how things unfold. What would I do differently in my life in the coming year? It seems that it is time for outreach. It is time to get more involved in the lives of others ... at a deep personal level. Can that happen? Indeed it can. I feel that I am ready for this, that somehow this is the next step. It seems that we will see soon enough. The new year arrives in just over a month. That seems to be the perfect time for the next major transition to occur. I'm curious as to what my life will be like in the coming year. Though, if the past is any indication, I will not know until it happens. Though, I trust that I will be pleasantly surprised regardless. There is something else that Wayne Dyer talked about ... the wake does not drive the boat. It is the present motoring that determines where the boat goes next. The wake is the past history, the trail that is left behind. That is important to remember ... we need to leave the wake behind us and fix our gaze on where we choose to go next. Life is an adventure in consciousness. There are two key points here. One, life is an adventure. And, two, life is lived in consciousness. Neither of these points were made by any teacher I had in my formal 17+ years of schooling. Why is that? Why are the most important things about life not taught to us in school? What else is the education system for, if not to teach such things? But, I did learn them anyway. However, only because I was open-minded and persistent ... and because I encountered and fell in love with metaphysics so early in my life. I can't imagine having lived my life without this strong metaphysical influence. Clearly, it would not have been the same. The sense is that I would not have been able to express all that has come forth since March of 1993 without this element in my life. I would simply have not been ready to assume the role that I am playing in all of this. Metaphysics prepared me for the life that I now lead. However, it did so in some strange ways. I was ready to experience what I did in 1993, otherwise I would not have survived intact. Yet, I was not ready from the sense that I had no real clue as to what to expect when it was happening and it literally pushed me off of the deep end. My sanity was stretched to its limits ... to the point where it took a three month medical leave of absence to become functional again. I experienced that again in 1998, and was beginning to think this was on a 4.5 to 5 year cycle. But we got through 2002 and 2003 to date intact with no further episodes. Part of that is due to taking my medications every day. That limits the excursions of my consciousness. Does it need to be that way? All that I know is that I don't really want to test it again. The last episode was much more difficult to deal with than the first. I don't need a third strike at this point. 157

Overall, the bipolar condition has been good for me from what I can tell. The mania allows my consciousness to soar to great heights and bring back some of what it finds. That is what this expression is all about. There is a reason that this expression is called Beyond Imagination for truly that is what we are dealing with, things that are beyond imagination. I know that is true for me anyway. I had no basis for imagining that any of this was possible for me anyway. I had been exposed to channeling many times and had studied the Seth material for nearly twenty years. However, it didn't occur to me that I could be a metaphysical information generator. Also, it was surprising that the expression started up so suddenly. There really wasn't any warning. Then again, with anything that starts, the beginning is going to be sudden. In 1998, the expression virtually came to a halt for nearly four years only to pick up again on 1 January 2002 at a pace and a frequency that was beyond anything expressed before. We are still engaged in this heightened expression today. In fact, we have over 600 musings in close to 700 days. That is a lot of musings for two years. When we add the musings through the rest of the year we will have generated four sizeable books from these alone. It will be interesting to see whether we are moved to continue in this manner into next year. The sense is that it is time to do something different. However, at this point it is not yet clear what that is to be. Though I have no doubt the time is coming soon when I will know. I'll have to. Whatever it is, I will be doing it. How can I not have a clue as to what I will be doing in one month? One month ... I don't know what I will be doing in the next week or even the next day for that matter except in very general terms. I live my life in the moment, doing as I am moved to do in the moment. The expression that is my life is very similar to this expression. It just flows moment by moment. I have no need to plan anything. What I need to do next is obvious and natural. I just don't know what it is before it is time to do it. In many respects, it seems that I have no choice. I do what I must do. That is the story of my life. But, it is particularly true since this expression began. I get a lot of guidance from this material. Much of it seems applicable to others as well. That is part of my motivation for sharing all of this. There is a sense that in so doing, I am performing a service, a very important service to society. How great of a service remains to be seen. We won't know until we see the impact that this expression has. Clearly, it has made a big difference in my life. I would hope that it would do this in the lives of others as well. However, whether it does or not, that does not deter me from doing what I am moved to do. We have no right to be concerned with outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. It is for us to do what we must do to the best of our abilities. Actually this may be overstating things. Sometimes good enough is good enough. We don't have to get everything perfect. This is especially true for things that we don't like doing. However, even then we need to make sure that what we do is indeed good enough.

28 November 2003 Indeed, as we thought ... we finally missed a day of musing. Thanksgiving Day was too full with preparation and family to find any time to express. So, the streak ended at 59 days. Oh well, we knew it had to end sometime. Holidays are appropriate times for taking a break. I believe this makes musing number 306 for the year. We should easily make it to 330 at our present pace even if we take some days off around Christmas. That comes to close to an equivalent of 11 full months of musings. Why do I need to express so much? I just do. I am moved to do it by a force that I choose not to resist. How long will that last? I really have no way of knowing. However long it is, I need to take advantage of the energy that is coming forth. There is something special about stream of consciousness expression ... especially when it comes through the intuition. This is our tie to source, to the spirit within ... even to the ONE. What next? I ask that question nearly everyday. But, there is no answer that is forthcoming other than to do what I am moved to do; which, right now is to engage in this expression. Word after word flows forth. It is all still magical. The creative process that generates all of this works almost automatically. I just 158

have to show up and participate. I choose to do this regularly because I can and because it feels good. There is something special about creative expression. I am grateful that I am engaged in it as often as I am. I definitely feel blessed that I could be doing this. It is not clear what comes next, however. Though, there is a strong sense that it is to be different than anything that I have done to date. That is OK. Different is good. It is time for a change. I anxiously await what will manifest next in my life. It doesn't matter what it is. I know that whatever it is will be both good and right. You have to be grateful for what you already have before you have any chance of obtaining more abundance in your life. That is how the laws of manifestation work. Gratitude helps create the vacuum needed to draw more of anything into our lives. I’m tired today. But, it is very important to express again. So, I choose to express. Here, I am free to allow consciousness to bring forth whatever she will. I don't know how else to explain it. The expression comes through me, but definitely is not of me. How can I know that for certain? Do I not turn it on and off at will? Yes, but how is that any different than me turning on a water faucet? I control the flow of the water but I don't create the water. So it is with this expression as well. I don't create the water of consciousness. It just shows up and flows where it will. Usually, the expression is able to pick me up and energize me. However, it doesn't seem to be doing that today, not yet anyway. That's OK. We'll take whatever comes. What does it take to be happy? Is that a choice that we are free to make at any time? If so, why does it seem to elude so many people for so much of their lives? I know that I personally find it illusive. Much of the time I feel more numb than happy. However, that seems to result from the choices I am making. Change your choices, change your reality. What is it that I desire in my life. More or better possessions would be nice, but they do not motivate me to act. Relationships would be nice, but do I truly want to do what it takes to end my hermit ways? It seems that this will be required in the years to come if I am to carry out my mission. Then again ... who knows? The sense is that we are not meant to be solitary individual beings. At some level, we are all ONE. And, at that level we can address each other as parts of the same whole. Not as distinct parts, rather as interrelated parts. In fact, we will be amazed at just how interrelated we find ourselves to be. A blank mind, a clear conscience, an aware consciousness ... these three things are important to the expression of spirit in flesh. Unfortunately, these three things are not easy to achieve. Or, more correctly, they haven't been easy to achieve. In fact, it has taken spiritual masters to do this. That is no longer the case. Such states do not require the discipline of spiritual masters. They can be reached by the extraordinary folks that walk among us. I was going to say ordinary ... but it is not clear that such have found the way to these states. The mind struggles constantly not to be blank. Many do not listen to their conscience. And, awareness is easier said than experienced. Having all three of these at once is a major mark of distinction. What does it take to develop a blank mind? I don't really know. Mine has been blank for some time. That is what allows this expression to come forth. It is as if my mind is a blank slate and consciousness fills it up. When I express, I erase what is on the slate so that more can come forth. The slate seems very limited in my case. My memory of what passes through is limited at best. What saves me is knowing that the expression is captured and that I don't have to remember it to be able to experience it again. However, what I don't know is whether the expression is repeating itself. Unless I compare different sections to one another, I simply have no insight other than a deja vu feeling that we have been here before.

29 November 2003

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One more day and November is history. It's wonderful having days off from work. However, I haven't really been free to engage in this expression much less continue with the annotations for Beyond Mind. We'll have to get into our regiment again on Monday. That is OK. Things get done when they get done. There is no timetable of which I am aware to any of this. We do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it. That is our contract with spirit. We exist to serve consciousness by expressing what she would express through us. We have been actively doing this for nearly 11 years. Though, we have always been consciousness expressing through flesh. This is true for all of us. There simply is nothing else. Everything is the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit. EVERYTHING! You might say that we are not limited by form; rather we are enabled by it. Forms allow us to do things and experience things that cannot be done or experienced in any other way. Limitation is ripe with possibilities for creative expression. Though, it seems that many suffer through much more hardship than others. One might ask if this is fair. Then again, in a world where we create our own reality how can anything that we experience be unfair? Does such a concept even have meaning? It seems that it does. We speak of offering a fair days labor for a fair days pay in our work. Further, there are many negotiations that we engage in exchanging good and services for money on a daily basis. What is it within us that knows what is fair and gets uneasy when it encounters unfair behavior in others or ourself? Conscience is one word for this. There is an inner voice that knows when we are doing the right thing under a given set of circumstances. The last clause is important. Right is nearly always subjective, it is dependent on the circumstances. The sooner that we learn this lesson, the better off the world will be. What about those who have not found such an inner voice, or who having found it fail to listen to and heed it? They will reap what they sow. Spiritual law will ensure that. Besides, we can't worry about what others do or do not do. Those of us on the spiritual path must do what we know to be right. That means finding that place inside of us that knows. What will we be doing in one month that is different than we are doing today? There is a sense that this expression will indeed change. Further, it will change in major ways somehow. How can I know that? There is a strong sense that 2004 as something new to bring in. 2002 and 2003 were each very different. The only commonalities were lots of musings and lots of pages of expression. 2003 brought the publishing of eight Beyond Imagination books. There is a strong sense that 2004 is about outreach. This is a year of reaching out to others. Whether I'll be successful and connect, I do not know. That depends on whether the time is right. It is interesting that we are counting up to our first Easter Birthday in 2007, just over three years away. When we first discovered that we would have Easter birthdays, it was 1972 so the first one was 35 years away. At the time, it seemed to be an eternity away. I was only 14. However, 90 percent of that time has elapsed ... and the remaining time will go by quickly. Though, when you live primarily in the moment, your life takes on a timeless quality. There is no past and no future. There is only now. The moment is where life is lived. The moment is where any decisions have effect. 2007 and 2012 are the only times that Easter occurs on April 8 from 1750-2150. Those are the only years that I was moved to check in 1972. I'm anxious as to what these years will bring. I associate Easter with death and resurrection. So, the sense is that these will be major transition times. We'll see soon enough. They are just over three and eight years away now. 2012 is particularly curious as it is the end of the Mayan calendar as well. 4/8/07 and 4/8/12. These beg to be expressed in reverse a 7084 and 2184, the final four of my SSN. Actually 4812 is the final four of my 9 digit zip code in Cathedral City. Does this mean that I'll be here for another eight years? That is a possibility. 7084 is 7056 + 28 = 84 x 84 + 28. 7:56 has been a characteristic number for me since 1994. Adding 28 yields 2022. This is a decade beyond 2012. There seems to be a pattern emerging. 1993, 2002, 2012, 2022. Depending on the actual dates, these are just shy of 10 years apart. Actually, 1998 and 2007 are important as well so the dates are only about 5 years apart. Enough with the future. It will be what it will be. It is for us to do what we can to be ready for it and allow it to unfold in our lives. Ultimately, I will do what I am destined to do. No more and no less. Try as I might, I can only make the difference that I am meant to make. Further, I can't help but to make that 160

difference if I express naturally. Yes, that means that there is a possibility that I might fail in my endeavors. There are no guarantees of success in anything. We do the best that we can where that is required, and we do good enough everywhere else. If we fail for lack of trying, shame on us. However, if we try and do not succeed, we can always try something different. If we keep doing this, eventually something will work. There is a reason that patience is a virtue ... a very good reason. There is another philosophy that says we don't have to do anything. We don't have to force anything to be any particular way. We can learn from and live in harmony with nature ... which is another expression of spirit in matter. We can live with an attitude of acceptance and be happy and grateful for everything that comes our way. This is a way of being, not necessarily an easy one, but it can be rewarding in its own right. Stress is all but absent from such a life ... in sharp contradiction to what many of us feel in the Western world. There is definitely something to be said for living more naturally. I can only be whom that I am. To the degree that I know what that is, I am aware. Being aware is one of the most important states that we can reach in any existence. Our level of awareness is the one thing that we get to keep when we pass on. Our worldly riches get passed along to others. Our bodies become food for worms. Our mind passes with the brain and the body. It is only our consciousness that remains. That, along with the record and memories of what we have done with our lives. Life is a precious gift. To honor that gift, we need to do what we can to make the most of our lives. That means doing things that make a difference in the lives of others.

30 November 2003 11 months down. One to go and 2003 is behind us. It has been a very productive year with musings and with publishing books. It will be a difficult year to top. But, 2004 has outstanding promise as well. I am curious to see what it will bring. More of the same doesn't appear to be what is coming. However, even a month out I don't know what is in store. Then again, when 2003 began, I had no idea that I would be publishing eight books. So, it may still be several months before I know what the new energy will bring. That is OK. We are used to living one day at a time. We've been doing that for awhile now. It is difficult to plan ahead when the moment is so uncertain ... and so full of creative potential. There is nothing to say that we need to know in advance. We can trust that the universe is leading us to exactly what we need to do when we need to be doing it. This is always true if we will but allow it to be in our lives. Trust is the operative word here. Spirit, consciousness, and the universe can be trusted. They don't always give us what we want, but they always give us what we need. That is just the way of spirit. Needs are always met somehow. Though we may need to be the instruments through which spirit works to make that happen. Everything is spirit in expression. As such, we are the vehicles through which spirit does her work. God helps those who help themselves is only a partial truth. It seems that there are many who are not in a position to do this. Yet, we can all be kind and helpful to others. Often this requires no funds or goods ... just some of our caring and our time. What better way to give of whom that we are? Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for the many blessings that we have received in our lives. It seems that some have more blessings than others. But we all have something to be grateful for. Life itself is a precious gift that we often take for granted. Good health is another one. That we live in a free and prosperous country is a third. There are so many things that we could be grateful for. Family, and friends, for instance. And then there are the animals, especially our pets that bring companionship and joy into our lives. We can also be grateful that we live in a country where we have so much free time and leisure opportunities to pursue whatever interests us.

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Hmm ... does that mean that the time expended on this expression is free time? I guess it would be if I had a choice as to how I was expending it or whether I was expending it. In some respects, this expression is not free. It happens because I am moved to enter states of awareness that allow it to come forth. Do I choose to do this? How would I know? I do as I am moved because I know that it is the right thing to do and I must do the right thing. Further, I can't think of any better way to spend my time. There is something about this expression that is unique and special. It deals with a consciousness confronting its reality as it creates it. In this case, a consciousness that has experienced a spiritual awakening. My hope is that I leave an example of what is possible not just for me but for you as well. I am a wayshower. Providing examples and leaving signposts along the way is what I do. This stream of consciousness is one such signpost that I leave. Actually it is many signposts that comprise a record of where my consciousness has been. Is it a record that is worth reading? I believe so, but I'm the biased author. Is it a record that is worth publishing? Though, we'll have to see how many sales get generated. The next royalty statement should arrive in a week or so. It will cover September sales. We had several books published and available by that time. Hopefully, we will see some sales. Though we haven't really done much in terms of advertising or promoting. Next year. That seems to be one of the outreach things that we will be working on in 2004. I'm resigned to holding down my present job awhile longer ... primarily because I don't see any better opportunities presenting themselves. The Beyond Imagination books have potential. But, primarily to supplement my income not to replace it. Then again, I am always open to new possibilities. There may just be benefactors out there who believe enough in the services that I provide to be willing to sponsor me to continue to provide them. It would be nice to be independently wealthy, to not be financially beholden to anyone or anything. That may or may not be in the cards for me. I can live comfortably either way. Whatever it takes. We have a mission to accomplish. It seems that most of what we are doing is contributing to that in some way. It's funny how life is like that. Then again, this may only be for the fraction of people that are living life on purpose and that have found their place in the world. I don't know how big of a fraction that is ... though my gut feel is that it is small to very small. Yet, despite that, people are leading the lives that they are meant to lead somehow. Not everyone has a grand part to play in the scheme of things. Yet, each of us can make a difference in the lives of others in some important ways. That is ultimately what counts. What did we do that made a difference? This is something that we need to be asking every day, every moment. We need to be on the lookout for opportunities to excel and to contribute. We contribute most when we are doing the things that we love to do. Indeed, love makes all the difference in the world.

1 December 2003 Wow! A new month. My current plans are to be off from the 12/19 through 1/4. Yes, 17 days! I'll be off more days this month than I'll be working. Too bad we can't do that every month. We'll have to see how productive I can be with that time off. We literally have 18 days off this month plus the first 4 days of next year off. That's 22 out of 35 days. It would be nice to finish Beyond Mind and to get as far as I can get on 2003 Musings - Vol III. That should be doable. 22 days is nearly an eternity. That is literally a man-month if I can work 8 hour days. With winter here, I should be able to do that for many of the days anyway. That would only leave the Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers, and whatever else I am moved to express in 2004. There is a strong sense that the musings are to taper off substantially. I don't know why, it just feels that way. It seems that there are other things in store. It would be nice to know what this are, but I haven't been given any real insight into this yet. When I need to know, I will know. Consciousness has this way of letting me know what I need to know when I need to know it. If she were to tell me much in advance, I'd probably forget it anyway ... so, this is probably for the best, for me anyway. Some people need information in advance to be able to plan. That is not my way. Living in the 162

moment is what life is about for me. That is the only way that I know. Though I do analyze things a lot, perhaps overly so. I also rely on my intuition a lot. Again, perhaps overly so. However, I have found that my intuition is a trusted ally. My intellect can be as well when properly guided by spirit/consciousness. On its own, it can get us into trouble though. So, what will 2004 bring into my life? I am curious to know. However, the sense is that I will just have to wait and see. Though, it is an active waiting, involving doing what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I would not be subject to a passive faith. I would declare what I believe actively through my actions in the world. I would make a positive difference in the world. I would leave the world a better place for my having lived. But would I touch the hearts and souls of others as some have been able to? I would hope that what I do would have such an impact. Perhaps I expect too much from myself. My soul cries out NO, nothing you could imagine is too much. There is no time to waste. If we would make a difference, we need to start doing things now. There is a long time lag between the doing and reaping. We reap what we sow. We need to do what we can to sow well and ensure our seeds fall on fertile ground. That provides the most likelihood that the seeds will take root and grow. We haven't answered the question yet. Primarily, that is because we simply don't know. We may have some hints, but we would prefer to keep that private. I wonder where that came from. That is the first time we've expressed a need to keep anything private. This expression is free and open. We like it that way. It has been such since its beginnings in 1993. Overall, I am a very private person. That is, except for this expression. Here, we ramble on and on ... word after word, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, and musing after musing. But, is there any meaning to all of this? Is there any direct utility? Does this make a difference to anyone but me? Is it sufficient that the difference might only impact me strongly? I would like to think that what I do will ultimately impact many. But, whether it does or not is really in spirits hands. That is not to say that I don't have to do my part. In fact, there is much that I will be asked to do. There is a saying ... to whom much is given, much is expected. Our abilities and talents are gifts from consciousness. The greater these gifts, the greater they need to be used in service to others. In the end, the services that we have provided are all that really matters. I'm getting a deja vu kind of feeling. It seems that we have been on similar ground before. What do we expect from this expression? Do we expect something fresh and new each and every day? At one point, we were asking for one new good quote from each days musing. I believe we still get many times that. As far as I can tell, there is indeed something new expressed each day. It is probably too much to ask that it all be new. There are recurring themes worthy of repeating ... especially when the repetition is couched differently. What more can we ask? We already have broken last years record of 304 for number of musings. We could easily reach 330 for the year. That is not something we are likely to do again. At least, not anytime soon. There is a sense that the expression is to take a major turn somehow. Perhaps it will be more focused and directed. Then again, perhaps not. We never really know until it happens. That is OK. We can live life moment by moment, taking each day as it comes. Though, there is also a sense that we need to be actively creating what we want to manifest. But, what do I want to manifest? What is worth applying my time, resources, and effort to bring to fruition? This year, we thought that was publishing books. But, few are aware that we even did that this year. I've told no more than a dozen people in person. The only others exposed would be those who have seen the announcements at the Beyond Imagination site. Will this change anytime soon? It will change if I do what it takes to change it. But is that what I am moved to do? I'm still wary of imposing my will on the situation. There is something that says I am not to be concerned with outcomes. How do we reconcile this with desiring particular outcomes? How do we work toward making something so without being concerned about whether we actually achieve it or not? That is the key ... it is the process, not the end, that is important. We need to fully engage in the process of life. At the same time, we need to be open to allowing the process to lead where it will. That sounds more difficult than it is. Life is a natural process. It is not something that we have to learn how to do. It is something innate, something that we know within us. 163

2 December 2003 Another day to express. That makes 89 out of 93 for this September thru December period and 309 out of 336 for the year. Those are pretty impressive stats. They indicate that there has been a lot of emphasis on expressing this year. What can I say? That is what I am moved to do. And, if there is one thing that I've learned ... it is to do as spirit bids me to do. My life works far better when I do so, and my impact on others is far more beneficial. How do we keep ego out of our expression? Is this even necessary? It seems that ego has a rightful place. There is ultimately no good and no bad. The ego and the higher self are not natural enemies ... though their purposes can indeed put them at opposition to one another. It seems that the proper way is to enable them to express together. Denying the ego only gives it that much more strength. It seems that we need to accept it and then put it in its rightful place. Clearly the higher self knows more about the spiritual nature of things. And, ultimately, it is the spiritual that matters. So it is in my life anyway. And, I would think it would be that way for others too. We continue to speak with a voice that is not ours. Yet, we are the vessel through which it manifests anyway. Why should this be so? Why should this expression continue in this way for so long? We're still at somewhere between three and four million words by my best guess. That is indeed a lot of expression. For many, that might be considered a lifetime worth of work. But, it seems that I am just getting started. Who knows how much more there is to say? Further, who knows how much more I could say if this would be a full time endeavor? There is a lot more that can come from the source of the words to date. I am not that source. But I connect to that source within me. How do I know the distinction? How do I know I am not deceiving myself ... believing that there is some other than conscious source that I connect to? I don't know how others think. My primary input as to how others express is through the many metaphysical books that I have read. To date, there has been nothing similar to this. However, that in itself doesn't say anything about the relative quality of this expression. Does it serve? Is it useful? If so, I have done my job well. If not, I have something to work on in the millions of words that remain to be expressed. Then again, how do I know for certain that I will be around long enough to communicate more millions of words? There is just a sense that writing is what I do, and that there is still much work to be done in order to complete my mission. I don't mind hard work. It just needs to be enjoyable work too. This expression is a blessing in my life. It allows me to experience firsthand what spirit would have me express. I'm amazed by what has been able to come forth. However, I am equally amazed that there have been so few people drawn to read the material. Ultimately, what is its place in the world? There are probably thousands if not tens of thousands of books generated each year. How would one decide that the eight Beyond Imagination books are worth reading? There are innumerable internet sites with a variety of information. How would one find the Beyond Imagination site and decide the material was worth reading? I haven't done much to advertise. Then again, what services do I really offer? I have a stream of consciousness that allows others to walk my path for awhile. But, what is that ultimately worth? Can it help others to awaken to whom that they truly are? I would hope that the answer would be yes. However, as a wayshower I can only guide and lead the way. You have to walk along and observe to get the benefit of what I have to show. How do we get more people to find the Beyond Imagination site? I have sort of left that to the universe ... trusting in the philosophy from the movie Field of Dreams - If you build it, they will come. I built the web site in 1995, over eight years ago, and have been adding to it ever since. Now, it is quite a substantial site ... a veritable mountain of words. However, people have not been coming. At least, not anywhere near the numbers that I had envisioned. I would think that by now we should be getting hundreds of visits per day rather than mere dozens. That is OK. What is meant to be is what is happening. If we want to expand people's awareness of what we have to offer, we need to stretch and do just that. The first thing that comes to mind is seminars, discussion groups, and talks. Even if these were relatively small, they 164

should stimulate word of mouth advertising as well. And who knows, in time we may be dealing with larger groups. Is that what I want to do? Can I speak in front of a group? In this area, I think that I can. Here, we are talking about things that I am passionate about. It is amazing what we can do when we are passionate about something. That is one thing that has the power to remove limitations ... passion. Hmm ... the line from Field of Dreams didn't say when they will come. In particular, it didn't say immediately. Though, in the movie that did indeed happen. When the field was built, the players from the past starting coming. I was also thinking that spirit knows the exact path to the site. However, it is unlikely that anyone would come up with this on their own. For most people, search engines are the primary means of surfing the net. What would you have to search for to find Beyond Imagination? For awhile, many of my pages were indexed and this was relatively easy. Now, it is far more difficult to construct search criteria that result in Beyond Imagination hits near the top. That makes it all the more important to contact the people who are most likely to enjoy and benefit from what Beyond Imagination offers and point them to the site. I generated a new introduction page over a month ago that provides a taste of what Beyond Imagination is about. It comes to around 4 pages including close to two pages of quotes from the Beyond Imagination expression. It would be nice if I could get that one web page disseminated to a large group. I don't know many people, but I'm sure that the people I know will know others who will know others if we can just convince them to share the material with those they know. At this point, I don't know exactly whom the material is meant to reach. I just have a sense that it is not reaching them as well as it could. Then there is the issue of time. It takes a substantial commitment to read the Beyond Imagination material. Though, there is no pressure on people to do this. The material is available. And, nearly all of it is free. It can also be purchased in book form if you prefer. I only ask that you abide by the principle to never take more than you give. Assess the value of what you take from here and find a way to give back something to society to compensate for what you take. I specifically said to society. The debt you incur from receiving spiritual works is not to the creator of those works. I know, this is not what we learn in economics. But, there is a greater economics at play here. Spiritual economics ensures that we get what we need in exchange for doing what is ours to do. Hmm ... I haven't stated it quite like that before. It has always been unconditional before ... people always get what the need. That is not necessarily what they want. Wants can exceed needs. In fact, they often do. There is something to be said about being happy with what we have and curbing our desires so that we want less. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Our lives overall are far more complex than they need to be. However, we can change that. We don't have to use all the latest gadgets that technology creates ... especially when they intrude on our lives rather than help it. We can pick and choose those that serve us. We don't have to be slaves to technology. We don't have to be instantly available all of the time.

3 December 2003 The expression continues. Once more we come to this special place where consciousness is given freedom to come forth as she will. Why she? Because that is how I have always experienced her. This is true for spirit as well. I don't question it ... I accept that this is part of my nature somehow. These are the aspects of these things that I am meant to connect with, at least at this phase in my life. I realize that most people relate to a masculine image of God, the father. But, that simply is not my experience to date. That doesn't make me right and them wrong. Both perspectives are valid as well as many that lie in between relating to a spirit that is both male/female or is neither. I can only express what I experience firsthand. This is especially true for me since my interactions with others are so limited. Yes, by choice or design. But, in my case, it has become a lifestyle. Though many might argue that it is not much of a life at all. I would ask that it be judged by its works however. One thing my lifestyle permits is the generation of lots

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of works ... especially in the form of written words. Then again, that shouldn't surprise you if you've been following the near daily musings for the past two years. I'm still curious to see what 2004 will bring. It seems that it is time for something different ... very different than has been expressed to date. Though, I still don't know what that might be. I'm open to new possibilities and am even willing to stretch in new ways if need be. And, I sure this will be needed. If we keep doing things in the same way, we will keep getting the same results. To experience something new, to create something new; we must do new things or do old things in new ways. So, what new things might I be doing? I'm sure that spirit will move me to start doing them soon. That is how things work in my life. Spirit is generally the initiator, the motive force. I go where she directs. Does this make me a slave to spirit? That is an interesting question, but an oxymoronic one. We are spirit enfleshed. We can't be slaves to spirit. Though, I have joked several times that spirit is a slavedriver. However, that comes from seeing what she demands of me. I don't regret one minute of being in her service or doing her works. They give my life meaning and make me a more aware and more complete person. Awareness is everything. We are playing an awareness game. The level of awareness that we achieve is the key thing that we get to take with us when we depart this existence. All of our worldly possessions will remain in the world. Our bodies will wither and become dust ... or food for worms. It is our spirit that will remain, and whatever it has learned as a result of this existence. The lessons of consciousness and spiritual awareness are by far the most important of our lives. We don't necessarily learn these in church or from any standard religion. But, there are paths with techniques and methods that we might find useful if only we will look for them and try them. The awareness game has been going on for a long time ... much longer in the East than in the West. That is OK. It is not the length of time that one actively engages in the game that matters. We have been doing this for many lifetimes, and we have all taken on a variety of nationalities. Being born and dying is much the same to the soul as putting on and taking off a set of clothes. A body is just an elaborate set of clothes for the soul, a means for expressing and experiencing in flesh. That didn't really address what 2004 will bring. The bottom line is that I don't know. Further, knowing how my life works, I probably won't know until 2004 arrives and then only to the degree that I need to know to act in the moment. Yes, that is what is important ... acting in the moment. Anything beyond what we need to do that is extraneous. It simply gets in the way. Then again, that is how my life works. I don't really know how this applies globally. Though it seems that the way to any desired future is a succession of momentary acts. Further, it is not possible to act in the future or in the past. The present is the only point where we are empowered to act. For future action, we must wait until the appropriate time becomes now and then act. Though, if we know what is coming up, there are indeed things that we could do to prepare. There is something to be said about living in the present. One thing this precludes is some of the "what if" and "if only" considerations. When we live in the moment, we simply don't concern ourselves with such. We do what we can to ensure that our life is as complete as it can be at any point in time. We don't want to ever regret that we did not do something or experience something. That does not mean that we have to do or try everything. The key word is what would we regret not having accomplished. As little as 11 years ago, none of the expression that you see at this site existed. In fact, I had no idea that I would even generate it ... ever. Yet, here we are musing nearly daily for over two hours. Here we are with over three million words that have streamed forth through us. What are we to make of all that? Surely, there was a purpose behind all of this expression. Surely, this expression was meant for more than my eyes only. Yet, how can we be so certain? We are trying to push our work out to the world, but is the world ready to receive and embrace it? Or, is this simply work that has come before its time? How would we even know until we try? There is a great joy of expression associated with all of this. Is that sufficient to justify its existence? Or, do we need others to experience the expression for the communication to be complete? It seems that the later is the case. Communication is an exchange 166

between a sender and a receiver. Though, in this case, we do have spirit as the sender and me as at least one receiver and we are starting to get more people to visit the Beyond Imagination material. What they do with it remains to be seen. Hopefully, it helps them to expand their awareness. Though, I can't guarantee this. It is by our own efforts that we reach greater awareness, not by the pushing of others. Though, it doesn't hurt to have good examples from time to time. And, as a wayshower, that is part of what I do ... provide examples. I would hope that they are good ones. Am I satisfied with what I have accomplished to date? In many respects, yes ... it has been quite an achievement. However, I am not satisfied enough to say that if I were to die tomorrow, my mission would have been complete. And, that is the condition that I am attempting to reach. Have I done all that I could to either carry out the tasks that I know need to be done, or to enlist others to continue on with completing the tasks in my absence? Not that I expect to depart anytime soon. But, there is still a need to reach completion in the present somehow. If Beyond Imagination were a true organization that would live on without me, we would be close. However, can I expect that? Can I expect others to buy into my dream of a better world? Can I expect others to commit to this endeavor as much as I have committed, or even more? Yes, that is a lot to ask ... but I demand nothing less from myself. Why shouldn't the same standard apply to others? Then again, perhaps there are varying levels of commitment, all of which are necessary to create the foundations for a new world. Not everyone who works on the foundations needs to buy into the vision. Ultimately, they will see the benefits of their participation. The workmen for a house don't need to buy into the architect's vision, they just need to do their jobs and build the house per the specifications. How are we going to get buy-in to allow us to change the world? The bottom line is that we just do it without worrying about permission. If we can effect the changes and they are positive ... no one will care whether anyone got approval beforehand. They will be happy with the results. We are living in a world where the Age has changed. However, this is not yet reflected in our social systems. That needs to be fixed. Those of us who know this have a responsibility to do what we can to fix it. How long it will take remains to be seen. However, it seems that we need to organize in some manner if we are going to really do anything. As I say that, there is a chill in the back right side of my head. This is a sign that I'm onto something important. The chills don't come very often. But, when they do it is usually for to accentuate something significant. Organize! How do we do that? I've been looking for my spiritual family for several years. Though, it hasn't really been an active endeavor. It was more of a hoping to find without much effort. Though I have planted a stake in the ground on the internet that people can find if they go looking. The sense is that I need to do something to make the looking easier. The easiest thing that I can think of is to show people where the material is. How do I do that in a non-intrusive way? Mass e-mails are definitely out. If you are reading this, I do ask for your help to spread the word. Please point people you know to the Beyond Imagination site if you think they might benefit at all from what is expressed and offered here. Enough said on that. Will major Earth changes happen in the near future? I'm beginning to think that they are highly unlikely. We have enough to deal with emotionally and spiritually that major physical changes seem like they would break the camels back as the saying goes. That doesn't mean that they can't happen. It just seems that they won't. It is as if the mass consciousness has somehow decided to avoid that crisis. That is good. We still have more than enough challenges to keep us occupied for some time. But, overall there is a heightened sense that we have the abilities necessary to step up to these challenges and succeed in creating a better world for all of us. Though, some in power and some with more than their fair share of wealth may not think so. However, we have to come up with a system that works for everyone. We can't tolerate a world divided into haves and havenots. At the same time, we need incentives for excellence. So, there is a fine balance that must be maintained. The bottom line is not wasting resources, especially human resources. We need to make sure all are employed productively in ways that use their natural talents and abilities. This requires thinking differently. Individuals are naturally designed to fit within the 167

fabric of society as the pieces of a puzzle ... only on multiple dimensions. Further, the pieces have modes of operation to include work, social, family, and whatever organizations the individual chooses to belong.

4 December 2003 Another day, another musing. It's amazing that they keep coming forth day after day. I can only conclude that there is a reason for all of this expression ... perhaps even multiple reasons. At this point, it is not necessary to know what these are. It is enough that I am moved to express in this manner. What outcome results from all of this is not mine to determine. It will be whatever it is. That doesn't mean that I didn't have an active part in creating it. It just means that there are far too many variables to control the outcome from my limited conscious perspective. Outcomes we leave to spirit. Though, if we don't like the results, we can change our choices of beliefs and actions. When we change these, we naturally get a different result, though not necessarily a predictable one. There are some mysteries in life that are never meant to be fathomed. That is OK. We need to be able to embrace the mystery and the magic. How is it this stream of words can pour forth so continuously? How can someone who has so little to say to people have so much to express in writing? Part of the answer is that it is spirit not me that is expressing. Yes, it is coming through my mind and my body ... but these are just tools that spirit is using. Do I do anything truly on my own? That is an interesting question. First, we must resolve what "I" refers to. Clearly, it is not my body nor my mind. It may not even be my consciousness. "I" is the owner and user/ experiencer of all of these. It is also the observer of the actions of all of these. In addition, it may be their creator as well. Right now, I am focused on being the observer, the witness to all that happens in my life. One thing I observe is this very expression and the process of how it comes forth. Even after over a decade ... I still have no real explanation for why it occurs in my life. Yes, it uses some of my abilities and talents. And, I sense that this specific expression would not exist without me. But, whatever part of the expression the world needed to see would be expressed anyway. Reading and commenting on Beyond Mind last night, I couldn't help but observe how spiritually aware I became so quickly after the expression began in 1993. Within three months I was experiencing extreme spiritual highs. These were unprecedented in my life. Further, the highs just kept growing in height and intensity. I was clearly living in a very special state of consciousness. By comparison, my experience is much flatter and more steady now. The medications I take have something to do with that. Though I have to wonder whether I have lost something in the process. I'm still aware, and I still experience the heights of moderate mania at times, just not to the same extremes or with the same regularity. One thing that I noticed was that I only missed one day of expression in July 1993. So, the urgency of expression was much the same as it is now. Had I not revisited the writings from that time, I would not have remembered that. I knew that once the Beyond Imagination notes started in November, there was a lot of expression ... especially in 1994 and 1995. It is still hard to believe that so much time has passed by since then. I've added nearly a third to my life since those days ... from one month shy of 35 to nearly 46. Before you know it, I'll be 50. But, I have to pass my first Easter birthday to get there. That still seems to be a milestone kind of event for me; as will be 2012. I look forward to what lies ahead. I can envision a bright and shining future ... one full of purpose and accomplishment ... one in which I make a real difference in the world. I do that by serving spirit. So far, this expression is my way of serving. How long that will be so, I don't know. But, this indeed taps one of my strongest skills. I've always been able to write, and write well. That's my assessment and that of my teachers anyway. Until 1993 though, I didn't really write outside of school assignments or work. However, since then I have written extensively. Could I do this full time? I would like to give it a try if only I could figure out how to earn a living at it. If only, if only, if only ... How many times do we let if 168

only stop us from doing the things that we know that we are meant to do? We are what we are. There are no excuses needed. We can all start from whatever we are and grow into whatever we need to be to accomplish our missions. The mighty oak is contained within the acorn. In a similar manner, there is a plan for each of us. Our lives are unfolding in accord with that plan. All that is necessary for that unfolding is the right nourishment. Most of this we can provide for ourselves ... though interaction in society can be healthy and helpful. For introverts, we get into the too much of a good thing state very quickly. We prefer the solitude of our own company. For some, this is an extreme preference. For others, it is far more moderate. I'm not one to meditate. However, I am quiet most of the time. Further, even my mind is quiet often. It seems that most people are consumed by ceaseless mental chatter. Some talk incessantly as well. Neither of those are my ways. In particular, since 1993, except when I am writing or working, my mind is essentially blank. I believe it is this very quality that allows this expression to come forth as it does. I also don't remember my dreams very often. Literally, I have remembered no more than a handful of dreams in my lifetime. Considering that we all dream every night for many hours, that is somewhat remarkable. Then again, physical waking reality is somewhat like a dream compared to spiritual reality. Many people might consider what I do in the spiritual realm dreaming ... or worse. But, I don't care much about what other people think. I care about what they know. I care about how aware they are and what can be done to increase that awareness. I care about how spirit expresses in the world. I am not religious. I don't practice or follow the teachings of any religion. Yet, I consider myself to be highly spiritual. My nature is FIRE, the element corresponding to the spiritual. Though, Mercury, the planet of communications is one-half degree into Taurus, at the very top of my birth chart. I find that curious. It is confirmation that there is something to the intuitive arts. It matters not whether science accepts what they reveal. They exist in a completely different domain ... one not subject to that same laws and rules of logic, one where intuition is king. Intuition by its very nature requires faith. It will not show itself otherwise. That is not to say that intuition is necessarily superior to logic. Both are well suited to their own domains. Further, they can be employed together in some pursuits as well. Most of the greatest advances in history have been due to a combination of both ... an aha, followed by allowing reasoning to carry the idea forth into manifestation. We need to dream before we can achieve. The grander the dreams, the better. We need our dreamers. They are the ones who ultimately create the impetus for a better world. I put myself in this lofty class. This is how I would serve my society and my world. Is that enough? By definition, doing what we are moved to do to the best of our abilities is always enough. Actually, in some cases it may even be more than enough. For many tasks, there is a standard of good enough that may not require our best. This allows us to reserve our energy and resources for those tasks which demand our best. We will know what these are. For this, spirit doesn't keep us guessing. It is just too important. We continue to write. Why? It is not like there is a large audience awaiting what we have to say. Then again, perhaps there would be if we changed the format of the expression and did something to find the audience. Hmm ... that is definitely a possibility. Newspaper column just came to mind. Is there someplace that I can write to that would provide an opinion and allow me to post the URL for Beyond Imagination? Are there magazine columns that allow the same? I don't read newspapers or magazines, but many people do. Would they be moved enough by what I have to say to take the time to visit Beyond Imagination? It's clearly a possibility. We write because there is a stream of consciousness effectively pushing its way through us. Oh, we volunteer to allow it to do so. But there is a sense that we are locked into this arrangement by prior agreement. That is OK. I will honor whatever commitments I have made on either conscious or other than conscious levels. Yes, I will honor commitments that I don't even know about consciously. I do that because I have reached a level of awareness where such is a requirement. At some level we know what these commitments are. We know what is right for us to do ... and we do it because doing right is the only real choice that we have. 169

To what degree are we really free? Do we really have free will? Can we choose to do whatever we want? Can we choose to be whatever we want? Or, are our choices constrained, and in some cases severely constrained? My sense of things is that our "choices" are far more constrained than most of us think. I would offer that we are actors in a play and most if not all of the choices have already been decided by the playwright before we enact them as the actor in the play. Things are very different once you identify with being the observer, the witness to your life. What happens to the actor is one step removed. You see that the actor's life is the result of beliefs and actions in accord with those beliefs. You see that you are not what happens to the actor. You are the observer. You remain intact regardless of what happens. You communicate to the actor through intuition and through a sense of knowingness. You are beyond time and space, infinite and immortal, without form or substance. But, how do you communicate with others? In my case, is the actor the hermit or is the observer the hermit, or both? Interesting question. How can the observer be the hermit when the observer is connected directly to spirit ... to the one? What happens if I stop observing the actor and simply turn inward to see what is inside of me ... or turn around and see what is behind me? This is a new line of thinking that I haven't explored before. It is interesting how important questions have become in my life. Until 1993, I didn't really explicitly ask many questions. Now, I can ask more in a week than I did in years before. Questions are one of the most powerful tools that we have for exploring what we know and don't know. This shouldn't be so hard to do. I have spent many hours over nearly a decade consumed with the observer perspective. I am still missing one however. I still haven't experienced being the creator in my own life. Oh, I believe that I am. But that is not the same as experiencing this firsthand as I do with the observer.

5 December 2003 The year continues to fly by. Just two weeks and I have a stretch of 17 consecutive days off. The last time I did that was during my medical leave of absence in 1998. That lasted three months. Here, we talking just over one-half month. That's OK, I could use the break from work. The key question is how productive can I be during that time. However, that doesn't really matter. This is not a race. There is not something that I have to finish by a certain deadline. Yes, I am to do as I am moved to do and express whatever this stream of consciousness would bring forth. But, that does not mean to neglect my own life in the process. I feel that to some degree that is just what I have been doing. I've focused so much on this expression the past two years that it didn't leave much free time for anything else. Though, it is not clear what else I might be engaged in doing anyway. No regrets. We are to live our lives without regret ... either for what we have done or what we have not done. If we want to live our lives differently, we need to make different choices as to what we believe is possible for us and what we believe that we deserve. It is highly important that we consider ourselves deserving of what we desire in our lives. What we don't feel that we deserve, we won't be able to manifest ... no matter how hard we try. Manifestation should not be hard work. It should flow naturally from being whom that we are. It can do this if there is no resistance. Negative beliefs are one powerful form of resistance. We need to rid these from our system as quickly as we can. However, to rid something from one beliefs, it is important to plant new more empowering ones. Beliefs are that flexible. We can do with them as we will. We are not stuck with the beliefs imposed upon us by authority figures in our youth unless we so choose to be. It is helpful to examine our beliefs and question their utility. With beliefs, utility is really the only thing that counts. Also, don't be afraid to try out new beliefs. And, while you are doing this, don't be tentative about it. Believe with the full force of your being. That is what empowers beliefs to manifest things in our lives. However, be ready to change in a moment's notice should a more empowering belief comes your way. Even if that second belief contradicts the previous one. Consistency is not required in the game of life ... and definitely not in the playground of beliefs. Emerson said something to the effect that "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds". Be not 170

afraid to be different! Be not afraid to allow your unique light to shine forth, not because it is better than anyone else but because it is whom that you are and you can't help but to express it. What part of me speaks here? What part of me knows all this that it could put it into words in such a manner? This stream of consciousness comes forth from a source beyond me, one to which my intuition ties. However, I have to translate the energy from that stream into words. That is why it is me doing this and not another. I have a natural ability in this area. The sense is that spirit speaks in a language that is not of this world. But, it is a language that we all know because we are all spirit having a physical experience. We have to learn to tap our intuition to reach this source. Then it seems that there is a natural translation device in our minds. For me that results in words that I hear in my head. These are different than thoughts. The stream of consciousness is organized differently. It has a purpose behind it. It is not concerned with the mundane aspects of day to day existence as thoughts can be. It is not petty nor judgmental. What next? The musings continue. And, we have at least three books to finish in 2004, preferably early in the year. We might even be able to finish Beyond Mind this year. 2003 Musing - Vol III should follow by the end of January and be published by May. That only leaves The Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers as far as things on the drawing board at this time. I'm still anxious as to what the energies of the new year will bring. The sense is that it is time for some things in my life to change in major ways. I'm ready for these changes even though I don't know what they will be yet. Change is a way of life these days. Though there is the constancy of spirit amidst the change. At some level we are unchanging, eternal, and everlasting. We need to turn inside and find that level. Then, we have an anchor. No matter what happens in the world, we have the strength of spirit to deal with it. That is part of what comes from living a life of spirit. When we connect with that part of ourself, we know that we can never die because we were never born. Only the body was born and only the body dies. We the witnesses behind it all have never lived and will never die. We simply are, there is nothing that can take that away from us. We are each a droplet in an ocean of water that is the one consciousness. If we are at the surface, for brief moments we can separate ourselves from the ocean and experience life as a droplet ... but we are still water, we are still consciousness. That is the key. First and foremost we are consciousness. Everything else is what we do. We are not what we do. We are not what we experience. We are the doer and the experiencer. There is a big difference. That is why we are not to be concerned with specific outcomes. They will be what they will be as spirit dictates. We are players in a grand play ... a play that is orchestrated by spirit every bit as much as a piece of music is orchestrated. All the roles are defined and the precise timing for each note for each instrument and associated musician. The only difference is that the music of our life seems to be our actions. For me, this very expression is the music of my life ... or, a good part of it at present anyway. Words are how I express. Not the spoken word, but the written word. There is something about the anonymity of writing that strikes a deep chord for me. Though, at the same time I do desire that the expression reach others. Why is that so important to me? I don't sense a need to be recognized. Though, it would be nice to be able to earn my livelihood via doing what I most love to do. That may happen, or it may not. Until then, I'll continue to do the bidding of a master willing to pay enough to cover my financial needs. I can live with that for as long as it takes. Many times over the past eleven years, I though my liberation was immediately at hand ... only to find that I was overly optimistic and mistaken. That too is OK. Better to dream of grand things than to settle for an ordinary life. At some point, we may in fact make our dreams come true.

6 December 2003 Another day, another musing. So it continues. What can I say? I continue to be moved to come here to express. This has truly become a habit ... one that I consider beneficial. At the very least it is a 171

productive habit. Each day I leave behind roughly 1000 to 2200 words of expression. During the week it is more toward the high end. On weekends, I'm distracted by other things competing for my time and attention. Though, not so much that I couldn't do more. However, if I needed to do more, I would be doing more. That is how my life works. I am ever doing what I am moved to do. I trust that whatever that is is right for me. I don't expect others to live up to the standards that I set for myself. Overall, they are easy for me because they come naturally. We shouldn't have to fight or work hard to accomplish things. When we do them right, they should be natural and easy. That is how we know that we are doing them right. Life doesn't have to be a struggle. Though, it seems that for many it is. It is all a matter of attitude and approach. We need to approach things in the right way. However, there is no one right way. This will be unique to each of us. We can't deceive ourselves for long. We know when our actions are right or not. Deep down we always know. However, many do not seem to connect to this inner part of themselves, at least not regularly. It is there awaiting our effort to connect. It even goes so far as to meet us more than half the way. But, it will not intrude on our reality unless it is invited. And then, it will do as it is asked. "Ask and it shall be answered." There are inner parts to each of us that know the answers to any questions that we might ask. The very asking of the question is an indication of our readiness to know the answer. Though, it seems that spirit has a need to know clause as well. We don't seem to be given answers until we have a need to know. It is not clear whether we can do anything to generate this need to know. It may be that it is decided by our role in the play. Our consciousness already knows a great deal. It is able to feed our conscious self what it needs to know moment by moment unless we place obstacles in its way such as limiting beliefs. The more we can open our belief systems, the more that we can remove the limitations that bind us ... the freer we will be. And with freedom comes all things that are important. This is especially true when we choose to cooperate freely. All manner of things can then be manifest in our world ... including things that have never been manifest before. Such is the power of synergy. Indeed, cooperation and cooperative interdependence are very good things. If only we could demonstrate this first hand on a relatively large scale. Where do we find people working together to make a difference in the lives of others? In libraries and schools, for one thing. Our teachers, at least some of them, tend to have a major impact on our lives. In churches and other religious establishments, for another thing. Here is where many get their spiritual training ... right, wrong, or indifferent. My way has been a much more solitary path ... at least for the past thirty years. I have walked with the ideas of some of the spiritual giants among us. Now, I generate what spirit would express through me. And, I consider at least some of the writings on par with some of the best that I have read. Then again, clearly with the words coming through me, I'm biased. Though, I invite you to read and assess the quality of the Beyond Imagination works yourself. Hopefully you will be as pleasantly surprised at what has come forth as I am. Interesting way of putting it ... what has come forth. Yet that is exactly how it happens. It just comes forth and I capture it by typing it onto a web page in Netscape Composer. I observe myself doing it. I don't sense that I am generating the material. I am translating and relaying the material. Yet, still, I consider myself the author. There is no other that is involved in doing this. There is only spirit expressing through me. This spirit has no identity. It has no separate existence. It pervades everything. It is everything. What is an author? Is it one who creates words and fashions them into articles or books? Or is it one who brings forth words and fashions them into articles or books? The difference is "creates" versus "brings forth". Perhaps there are two different types of authors. I know the later definitely exists from my firsthand experience. Perhaps all authors "bring forth" words in similar ways ... and it is really spirit doing the expressing through us. It's still early, but I'm fading fast. With darkness coming by 5:00 PM, it seems much later than it is. That is OK, I love the night. It is much different than the day. The energy is different. The very consciousness is different. It seems more conducive to deep thinking and to expression from other than conscious sources. While these are other than conscious, we still know that they exist by observing their works in 172

our lives. We have over three million words as proof that other than conscious sources not only exist but can communicate through us and leave their mark in the world. What impact this mark will have remains to be seen. My sense is that ultimately there will be a large impact. But, part of that may be my own ego needing to make its mark on the world. Is it not enough that all of this was expressed and freely shared? Is it not enough that I learned from all that was expressed? The sense is that no, it is not enough. Were it enough, there wouldn't still be this inner drive to do more. And, that inner drive is far too strong to squelch. It demands that I do something about it ... something different than I have yet done. At this point, I still don't know what that is. But, I will know soon, I'm sure of that. It doesn't help for me to know things too far in advance of needing to do something. Overall, my mind is very forgetful. I operate primarily in the present. Though, it is an expanded present that stretches forth at least into the immediate future. It is amazing how unstructured my days and weeks are. The only real constants are the times that I need to be at work, the drives to and from Redondo Beach each week, and this expression. I live very much in two worlds on a number of fronts. There are my work/non-work daily world, my work/weekend worlds, my work/spirit worlds, and my home/spirit worlds. Everyday I confront at least one of these dualities. Every week I confront all four of them. The spirit world is experienced here in this expression and in the signs from the universe that I see nearly every day. Each day during the week, I spend 9 hours at work and 2-3 hours on spiritual pursuits. Each week, I spend 4-5 days close to work in Redondo Beach and 2-3 days at home in Cathedral City. On weekends, I try to spend at least 2-3 hours per day on spiritual pursuits ... though this is difficult when you have to make up for being away at work all week.

7 December 2003 Pearl Harbor day ... a day that lives in infamy even 62 years later. WWII seems so long ago. I wasn't even born until nearly 13 years after it was over. Though my parents and my wife were young kids during that time. My parents are old enough to remember the great depression. My wife just missed that. It did make a big difference on their outlooks toward life. Many people who experienced the great depression have an attitude of scarcity that runs very deep. The opposite of this is an attitude of abundance. In between is an attitude that there is always enough. This is not the same as abundance. I've been fairly cavalier about material possessions. There are a few things that I have acquired that I am attached to. But, much of what I have, while nice ... is simply not important. There are deeper things that vie for my attention. In particular, the things of the spirit. Each day we allow consciousness to come forth and express. Each day we voluntarily give up two to three hours of our day to this endeavor. Why? Who is it for ultimately? What difference does it make to whom? We got the royalty notice in the mail yesterday. Still no sales. Not a single one. What does that tell me? What feedback does this give me? Was publishing the Beyond Imagination books an act of vanity? Or, eight such acts in our case? People talk about vanity publishers who are basically willing to publish anything for a price. At least it didn't cost a lot. I figure that I have around $4500 invested in addition to a lot of my time. Though, it is still early. Only a few of the books were available in September. We'll see what October brings at the beginning of the year. What am I to make of all of this? What am I to do next? More of the same seems somewhat futile until we see something working. Though, that is still what I am moved to do. I'm still moved to come here to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth. I'm still moved to finish at least three more books early next year if not sooner. Further, I'm still in the mode of doing what I am moved to do. That is my way of knowing what is mine to do. I'm not so moved to work. But, I accept at the present time that such is the price I must pay for the freedom to do my spiritual work. Render unto Caesar what is Caesars and unto 173

God what is Gods. While we are physical we operate in both a material and a spiritual realm. Try though we might, we cannot escape either one. Though we can ignore one or the other for awhile. We need to be careful, however, not to ignore either for too long or we suffer the consequences. We can't be spiritual while incarnate without being physical. Neither can we be physical without being spiritual. We are spiritual beings first and foremost. It is important that we remember that. Where will my life take me next? What adventures lie ahead in the days, weeks, months and years ahead? The bottom line is that at this point I don't really know. And, my sense is that I won't know until it happens. So, there is no use worrying about it. What will be, will be. Though, there is another sense that says it will be if I make it so. I am responsible for my own reality. We all are. No fine print, no exceptions. We each experience exactly what we choose to experience. Though part of our choosing is embodied in belief systems that define what is possible for us to experience. Much of what constitutes these belief systems are beliefs that were imposed upon us in our youth by a variety of authority figures. We were taught not to question these authorities or what they told us. That may have worked when we were children, but as adults we are free to go back and see whether these beliefs truly serve us or not. It is up to us to eliminate those that don't serve us and replace them with new ones that do. We can choose to do this at anytime. It is a matter of taking responsibility for ourselves and doing it. If we don't like what we are experiencing ... it is up to us to do something to change it. It is up to us to so alter our beliefs to create a better reality. How do we empower people to do this? How do we educate people and show them that they have not only the responsibility but the ability to change their reality for the better? Whose job is this to do? Something a friend of mine once told me comes to mind: if you see a job that needs doing, and no one else seems to be doing it ... then it is yours to do if you have the desire and abilities to do it. I added the final nine words. Just because we see that something needs to be done, does not mean it is our responsibility to do it. The job might belong to someone else who just hasn't found it yet. Pointing out that the job needs to be done in that case might be exactly what is needed. The expression is slower than normal tonight. Part of that comes from my being tired. I got plenty of rest this weekend ... but it never seems to be enough. Though I am getting up earlier than I used to. For awhile, I was sleeping until close to 10:00 on weekends, sometimes longer. Now I get up between 8:00 and 9:00 most weekend mornings. I still haven't translated this into my time devoted to this expression. Perhaps that is not in the cards. Enough is enough. It might be different if we had a large readership awaiting each days expression. However, this is not yet the case. Whether it will someday be or not ... we'll know in due time.

8 December 2003 Another day for expression. Let's see where we are moved to go today. We never really know where the stream of consciousness will lead until we embark on it. Lately, we have been doing this a lot. We've only missed 1 day out of the past 71. That's a lot of expression. It is about time to start consolidating it into 2003 Musing - Vol III. We have 14 of 17 weeks done already. And, it seems that the volume is consistent with the prior two four month periods. That's pretty good. Three books of approximately 600 pages each out of the material generated in 2003. That is a lot of expression. But, how do I know that it is any good? It is what it is. It is not for me to judge it. It is for me to allow it to come forth so that it can have its impact, whatever that might be, on the world. That is an interesting way of looking at things. It is not as if I am trying to create all of this. It is just happening through me. It is the expression of spirit. I just happen to be a convenient and willing vessel. Then again, are we not all vessels for thee expression of spirit in flesh? My way just happens to involve words. In my case, many words. Perhaps too many words. Though, can we ever have too many words? My sense is no, that is impossible.

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It is interesting that I can speak here so readily, yet am silent for the most part in my life. However, that has been true since the expression began in 1993. Once the pathway was opened up ... the expression was freed to come forth. It hasn't stopped since, though it did die down substantially for a period of several years before picking up on 1 January 2002. Why 1 January of all days? Yes, it is the start of a new year. And, something says that wasn't merely a coincidence. The new year brought a new energy that had to be expressed. I was receptive to this and cooperated willingly. In fact, joyously since I was so happy to see spirit so active in my life again. This has continued throughout the present year. In fact, we have more musings already this year then we had last year. [315 versus 304] We're well on our way to 330 or more for the year. That is an achievement that we are unlikely to match anytime soon. This is especially true since there is a sense that it is time for a change in the nature of this expression. We have been content to allow a stream of consciousness to come forth. It seems time that we do something to harness the stream and channel it in some direction. That seems to be the next step. Though do we not run the risk of messing things up if we try to control them? Yes, there is that risk. But, the potential good that could come from this far outweighs the risk. How can I know that? The bottom line is that we are doing spirits works now. And where she is involved, the outcome is always good. The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. If we just allow this to occur gracefully, we will be amazed by what manifests in our lives and the lives of others around us. It is important that we consider others and that we are considerate to them. Compassion goes a long way as well. It is difficult to hurt people when we are in the process of being compassionate. We must live our lives with passion. Otherwise, it just isn't worth living at all. Maybe this only applies to certain kinds of people. But, I see it applying to everyone. Passion is what motivates us to stay in the game and play it to the fullest. I specifically didn't say "to the best of our ability". It is not clear that such is required. Good enough is good enough. We don't have to be our best or do our best all of the time. We need to do "good enough" under the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We always know what is good enough. It comes from a natural knowingness of whom that we are. Some of us seem to have more of that natural knowingness than others. That is OK. We start from wherever we are, and learn to develop more when we need it. There are no mistakes. There are only choices, some of which have undesirable consequences. However, this too is in the eye of the beholder or experiencer. What would I do next? We always come back to that question. Five simple words for a total of 16 letters. Yet, that is all that it takes to stay focused. In this case, to stay focused on doing ... and on what we should be doing. My answer is that I do as I am moved to do. Right now, that means to engage in this expression. Who knows what the morrow will bring? However, whatever it is will be right for me. I trust in the natural flow of the universe, and the natural unfoldment and expression of spirit therein. What gives me such trust? Nothing. It just seems obvious that this is so. There is a divine plan unfolding and all of us have roles to play in that plan. As in life, there are lesser roles and there are greater roles. The greater roles seem to require more talents/abilities. However, there is a benefit in the lesser roles of more free time and overall freedom. Further, however, each role is important. The devoted mother and father are just as important as the saint. It is all a matter of how well we play the roles that we have been given ... and the cards that we are dealt in the course of our lives. It is not so difficult to live a life of spirit. In fact, when your doing it, it seems downright easy. However, there are numerous distractions that can get in the way if we allow them to. We need to maintain our focus. We need to be open to what the universe, what spirit, is sending our way. We need to be ready to jump on the opportunities that come to us. They will come. It is just a matter of being open to them. Then again, that is true for a lot of things. Being open and flexible are definitely important. More so the further along the spiritual path that we go. We need to give spirit room to manifest in our lives. This means becoming the vessel through which she expresses. This takes some doing, but is not difficult either. There is a natural inclination within us toward expressing spiritually, toward living a spiritual life. 175

We can ignore it, or we can embrace it. I advise the later. Whenever there is a choice between spirit and anything else, by all means choose spirit. It will make life easier in the long run. Not that life should necessarily be easy. There is something to be said for challenges. But, too much of a good thing is just too much. We can do whatever we set our minds and our hearts on doing. It takes both to achieve great things. And such are the only things worth achieving. If we are going to endeavor to do something, it might as well be something grand ... something that takes our breath away as well as that of others who see what we have done. Even in little things, we can do them in grand ways making them all the richer. Life is meant to be a celebration, in particular, a celebration of spirit in flesh. There are so many things to be grateful for. Life itself is one of these. Some have called it the greatest of gifts that we could be given. And indeed, it is that. It is for us to make the most of it, making ones life a gift to the world in some way. At the very least, we need to make a positive difference in the lives of those who our lives touch. We can do this ... we just have to want to, and then do what it takes. Ultimately, that is how we get anything done in the world ... we do whatever it takes. And, we keep doing that until we get an outcome that is acceptable. It may not be the outcome that we thought we wanted. We need to leave spirit some freedom to create that or something better in our lives. Outcomes can be dangerous if we become too fixated on them. We continue to speak with a voice that is not own. Yet, it is a familiar voice that we have heard in our head often. Do others hear such voices? Surely, I cannot be unique in how I experience consciousness. Then again ... we are all unique even though we are also very similar. I don't believe for a moment that my world is like unto anyone else’s. I know it to be my own. I have tried to share those aspects of it that I can, but with limited effect. Either my methods are faulty or the timing is not yet right for intimate sharing with many others. Until then, I will be content to express what I must express. I will continue to serve as a voice for consciousness. This expression makes my heart sing. Here is where I am closest to spirit. And, I am fortunate enough to get to experience this nearly everyday. I truly am blessed. Then why does happiness still elude me? Oh, it is there part of the time. But, why not most of the time? What is missing from my life? RELATIONSHIPS. That seems to be the key. My relationships with others are still limited at best. Part of this is my nature. Part of this is not knowing any other way to be. Part of this is fear of being judged. Even after all that I have been through, that fear is still there. This seems to be something that I need to overcome if I am to create a more fulfilling reality. And, it seems such is necessary to create a happier life. It is just a matter of deciding to do it and doing it.

9 December 2003 Had my yearly appraisal at work this morning. Overall, I did very well. There was only one area identified for improvement. This is the first time I've really had anything negative in writing. Oh well. The point was legitimate. I am not as determined as I could be when trying to get information that I need from outside organizations. Part of this comes from not understanding how such organizations work. When asked for information, I typically respond within minutes to hours, occasionally stretching to days. I don't understand having to wait weeks or months to get information from others. Also, some organizations are so large that is unclear where to go to even get started. That is OK. Everything else in the appraisal was highly positive. My work is appreciated by my own management and by the Air Force customer that we work for. If only the same could be said of my spiritual work. If only there was a known customer for it. If only there were the equivalent of spiritual management to appreciate what we are doing here. Then again, is such really necessary? Would it make a difference? Would it change what is expressed? I'm beginning to think that the answers to all three of these questions are NO. I would be doing exactly as 176

I am doing in either case. But, would I feel better doing it? Do I need the appreciation and recognition to make me feel good? The bottom line is no. It might help, but it is not necessary. I need to find fulfillment within myself, or I will not find it at all. Look to the outside world all you want ... but for real satisfaction look inward to the source within. Hmm ... it seems that I had forgotten this of late. I've been looking to the world for some validation of whom that I am. But, this is an inside job not an outer one. I know that. I just need to be reminded from time to time. I'm still struggling with what impact my endeavors are to have on the world. Do they truly need to have such impact? My sense is yes, the standard that I set for myself is to leave the world a better place for my having lived. The only question is whether I will see the tangible impacts of that during my lifetime. It may or may not be for me to see these. I need to find ways to go on and be happy anyway. It doesn't matter whether I succeed in doing what I set out to do. The importance comes in doing it. The way, the path, the journey is everything. Everything. My responsibility is to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. In so doing, I make a difference with my life ... in fact, the most meaningful difference since spirit is guiding me every step of the way. How can I know this? It just seems intuitively obvious. So much so, that I harbor no doubt. That is a good thing. There is a part of us that simply knows. And, it knows far more than most people give it credit. This is the soul. It is not surprised by anything that we might do. She is in her native realm and expresses primarily through our intuition. The more strongly we develop this special part of us, the better. I was hoping to start to see some book sales by now. I guess people are not making it to the Published Books pages or are choosing not to purchase the books anyway. Oh well. A what will be will be attitude seems appropriate here for some reason. I don't feel that there is a driving need to do something yet. I can wait patiently and allow spirit to work out the details. At the same time, I know that I am an instrument that she can use in this area as well. When I am moved to do something, I will. Until then, we can wait and see what happens. What am I moved to do? Once again it is difficult to stay focused at work. Yet, the days exhaust me anyway. What can I do to keep my energy at peak levels? Someone suggested Tai Chi as one of the more relaxed martial arts. Maybe that would work. But, am I likely to go take a class? That would require some time in addition to overcoming serious inertia and resistance to new things. However, these can be overcome. It is a matter of desire and initiative. It is a matter of what is important to me. That's always what it comes down to. Which among a variety of things is more important? This we must decide for ourselves. There is no preset hierarchy of importance. It is for us to create our own. Maslow did this for needs and did an outstanding job. Here we are talking about going beyond that. It seems time to treat this communication differently. We have shown that we can bring forth many words. However, it has been suggested that we tighten things up and bring forth a more focused expression. Further, in doing so we need to get away from the first person singular mode. Yes, that is primarily what we know. But, that doesn't have to be how we express. Rather than just opening up and allowing the stream to flow ... we need to keep some purpose in mind. People read nonfiction for a reason. It may be to be entertained or to be educated or a number of other things. What would we convey that is worthy of the time that it takes to read this message? If we don't have anything to say, it is better to be silent than to ramble on. How do we go about creating the reality of our dreams? In particular, how do we do that when it involves others? It is one thing to create our own reality when we are the only person involved. It is quite another when that reality involves relationships of various types. We can't expect to control others ... though some try hard to do this. Ultimately we are free beings. As such, we can only be controlled to the degree that we allow. Either we create our own reality or we don't. There is no inbetween. There is no fine print. There are no exceptions. We create this reality individually and en masse. 177

Know that you are in charge of all that you experience. You create it all ... every event, every emotion, and every meaning. That is simply how life works. As a living being, you do this naturally even if you are not aware of doing it. As a result, you are responsible for it all. And, you are able to respond to it all. That is what being response-able is all about. That means there is no one outside of you to blame for anything. No one is doing anything to you that you have not agreed for them to do at some level. This can all be changed. The process can be made more conscious. But, it takes inner work to make it so. You have to be willing to change. You have to be willing to be different ... to believe differently, and to act differently. It is all your choice. You are free to create whatever reality you prefer. However, be careful for you are held accountable for whatever you create. Actually, you hold yourself accountable, so there is no escaping this. You may deny it for awhile, but eventually every injustice has to be repaid. Though, there is an element of forgiveness that can come into play if we allow it to. This effectively wipes all or part of the slate clean. However, we can't be forgiven by others until we find it within us to forgive ourselves. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do.

10 December 2003 Reality creation happens in the moment. There is no other place to effect change. The past is done. The future is beyond our grasp. Only the present offer us the opportunity to do as we will to create the reality that we choose to create. This is wide open for us. We are free to create the reality of our dreams ... but we are also free to create the reality of our nightmares, as well as any number of things in between those extremes. We need to dream big. We need to expect the very best not only for us but for everyone that we touch. As we expect, so shall we create. Our very actions will ensure this as they will be aligned with our expectations. However, we also need to feel worthy. If we don't, we sabotage ourselves. We take the potency out of our will and out of our actions. We also need to believe, truly believe that what we expect is not only possible but likely ... perhaps even certain. Such is how reality creation works in the illusion. Ultimately it is not our beliefs but our actions that have the most impact. Yes, what we do makes all of the difference. We are the instruments through which spirit does her works in the world. In fact, everything that we do is the expression of spirit in flesh. We are all spirit. We are all cells of the same one whole. We are all droplets in the same one ocean of consciousness. But, we are quite interesting droplets in our own right. It is through us that all the trials and the glories of limitation are experienced. Life is very special. Limitation is not to be looked on in a negative light. Just look at some of the inspiration that has come forth in art, in poetry, in literature, in music, in architecture, in science and technology and in any number of creative endeavors. Those of us who live in the 21st century have a cultural and technological richness from which to draw that brings wonders into our lives. We are able to do things that were not possible even one generation ago. You might say that such is true for every generation. However, this has not always been the case. It took centuries for major improvements for much of history. Decades might go by without one significant invention or event of significant historical interest. The automobile, the airplane, and the computer are all major creations of the 20th century ... though the first automobiles were invented in the late 1800's, if memory serves me. It wasn't until the early 1900's that they became affordable and popular. In much the same way, the airplane was invented in 1903, but it wasn't until the 1940's that it became a true transportation system and not until long after that until it became a popular one. The digital computer was born in the 1940's but it wasn't until the late 70's/early 80's that personal computers were created and became popular. We are still feeling the impacts of that nearly 25 years later with a literal information explosion and level of interconnectivity that only few people could even imagine as little as a decade ago.

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So, what will be the first major creation of the 21st century? There must be things on the drawing boards that the most creative minds among us are coming up with. I guess we'll see it when we see it. Though it may take some time for us to recognize it for what it truly is. It seems that domain of the mind is one that is ripe for some breakthroughs. How do we apply our technology to make great strides in this area? We can do it. It is a matter of where we choose to apply our resources. We make progress wherever we apply our best and our brightest. What better area to research than how our minds function? We possess capabilities far beyond anything that any of our computers are capable of doing. Yet, our brains don't come with an owners manual. For the most part we have to figure it out for ourselves. Why should this be so? Why can't we make it easier for everyone? Further, the potential of getting multiple minds working together effectively is simply beyond imagination. Here, synergy comes into play. The whole that is created from such cooperation is greater than the sum of its parts. It becomes an entity in its own right able to do things that none of the individuals could do. There aren't a lot of examples of this happening. Some sports teams come to mind, but nothing specific. There are also teams in the work environment that exhibit this. It just takes two or more acting cooperatively. Consciousness is the final frontier. It is here that we face the unknown and even the unknowable. Though we need to be careful not to mistake the unknown for the unknowable. In the first case, we just don't know it yet. In the later case, there is nothing that we can do to ever know it ... except perhaps to die and leave the limitations of this realm. Even then, there may still be things that are unknowable. All that we can do is accept this and do what we can to make the unknown known. At least, to the degree that such endeavors interest us. Some choose to ignore this area altogether and are able to live happy and productive lives. But, those of us that are explorers of consciousness have a different path to follow. We have made our choices and have accepted the accompanying challenges. There is a thrill of discovery in this as well. We truly live on the frontier ... much as our ancestors of old in this country. Actually, we're talking as late as the 1880's or so, just 125 years ago. My we have come a long way in some areas. Yet, how much more do we know about whom we truly are? The bottom line is far less than we should by now. That is why it is so crucial to have a concerted effort now. We have neglected this side of ourself for far too long. It is time to change that. There is an army of lightworkers trained and ready to offer their services to a world in need. However, it is not clear that the world recognizes that it is in need or that these are the precise services that can help. The awareness is growing, however, day by day. More and more people are looking for alternatives to the "officially" sanctioned services, and are finding that lightworkers can provide these.

11 December 2003 Life is an adventure in consciousness. If you are not experiencing it in that way, perhaps it is time for a change in attitude. There are two parts of this ... an adventure which means it should be challenging and thrilling, and in consciousness which means that it should deal deeply with whom that we are as opposed to dealing with the physical and emotional selves at the surface of our being. It is in consciousness that we live and it is to consciousness that we return when we die. Consciousness is everything, it truly is. When we focus on awareness, all things are added unto us. Abundance is our birthright, but it only comes if we claim it. As souls, we are entitled to a lot by our very nature. However, if we fail to realize this nature ... we withhold ourselves from our natural inheritance. We do this all the time. We limit ourselves in innumerable ways, especially through our beliefs. This is one area we can fix. We can examine our beliefs and replace those which limit us or do not serve us. It is a matter of choosing to apply the effort to do this. These beliefs are not hidden. They are readily accessible to us if we believe them to be. Further, they are amenable to change by us. The process is not difficult. It is simply something that we must choose to do. And, it is well worth doing. The resulting changes in our lives can literally be miraculous.

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What about the boredom? How do we get beyond the tedious parts of life? We work through them as best we can. Various people seem to experience this in different ways. Some may not experience it at all. But, it seems that for most of us we need some way of escape from the tedium. This may be through entertainment or through hobbies or through relationships. In general, it is through something that occupies us, something that commands our attention. One of the things about modern life is that the daily grind requires time to unwind. Entertainment provides this for many. Some, however, prefer quiet time ... time in which to truly get in touch with the spirit within. It seems that the world might be a better place if more people would do this. However, it is not something that can be forced. Spirit works gently in our lives. She comes when she is invited. She expresses through us when we allow her to. It is always our choice as to the degree to which we accept her in our lives. The more aware that we become, the more desirous we become of having spirit play an expanded role in our lives. Spirit is not some separate thing. She truly is us, or at least an inner part of us. An image just came to mind of a person with their whole backside opened up out to the periphery of the body. It is as if spirit enters us from behind and animates us. Spirit fills our arms and legs and torso and head. It is all spirit enfleshed. Even the flesh is spirit. It is all spirit. There can be nothing else. Separation is illusion. But, it is useful illusion that permits the richness of experiences that lifeforms and all matter experience. Happiness can be illusive. Some seem to have found the key, but most of us still seem to be learning in this area. We are pursuing happiness as best we can but we are not necessarily finding happiness. It is interesting that our founding fathers considered the "pursuit of happiness" an inalienable right. They said nothing about achieving that which we pursue. Though here we can fall back on the maxim "seek and ye shall find". What we pursue will ultimately be attracted to us. It may take some time but the outcome is inevitable. Until then, perhaps we need to focus on what it takes to be happy rather than to pursue happiness. It seems that this should be a choice that we can make regardless of the circumstances that we find ourselves in. We can choose to be happy and then see how that choice impacts our reality. Of course, it will be positively, for we will attract the very experiences needed to make it so. Our experience tends to confirm our choices, provided that we are sincere in making these choices. Sometimes we fool ourselves. We need to watch for this and be careful. However, even there, we cannot deceive ourselves unless we choose to be deceived for some reason. This may be to set ourselves up to grow, or it may be that we simply have not done the self work to know the difference. In either case, it helps to focus on the lessons that we came to learn. If we look inside, we will know what these are. The directive from spirit is clear. Be whom that you are and do as you are moved to do. Trust the life force that is expressing through you. Be kind! Treat people with the full respect that they deserve. Know that you are spirit having a physical experience. Connect as often as you can to the spirit within and take your guidance from there. Sure, there are outside sources that can be followed as well ... but the inner ones are always the best and most direct. Intuition is the key. Develop it and use it often. It is how spirit speaks to you and through you. Find the source of creativity within you and then apply it in some way that serves others. Each of us have unique gifts and talents that are meant to be shared. It is for us to find out what these are, develop them, and apply them in service. Service is everything, but only when it is done with love. We are not meant to be slaves. We are meant to love what we do. Yet, it seems that many have no yet reached this state of being. That is mainly because the social infrastructures are not in place to support this. That will change. Some of us know that we are here to help facilitate this change. Perhaps in time this will be many ... and the world will be transformed. Then again, it is not clear that many are required. For changes whose time has come, all that is needed is a critical mass. What constitutes "critical mass" remains to be seen. Though, it hasn't happened yet, or the infrastructures would have changed already. This is part of what the dawning of the Age of Aquarius is all about. It seems that the dawning has been going on for long enough. It is time for the dawn to finally arrive.

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12 December 2003 Interesting, a 12/12 day. There are only 12 days of this format all year. The Hanged Man/The Hanged Man. But, this is not as it seems. In the Tarot, the Hanged Man is enlightened, hanging by his foot seeing the world upside down and hence seeing it rightly. Can that be true? Is it a simply a matter of seeing things upside down to obtain enlightenment? That seems to be one way. And indeed, nearly everything that we thought that we knew or that we believed becomes suspect when we awaken to spirit. We become something vastly different than we were. The body is the same, as is the mind. But the awareness, the occupant, has changed. How do we describe this change? We become aware of being the observer, the witness to our lives. What is so special about that? It allows us to disassociate who we are from what we do. This is a major distinction. It seems some live out their entire lives without coming to this realization. That is OK. Awareness is never forced upon us. It doesn't come until we are ready for it ... though at the time it is happening, we may not think that we are ready. However, what we think is not important ... what matters is what we are. Though, it has also been said that as a man thinketh, so he is. It is via our thoughts that we create our world and our reality. Yes, it seems like we are dealing with contradictions here. However, it is more a matter of perspective. There is no one right and one wrong. Life is full of contradictions. We have to find a way to live our lives in spite of this fact. Actually, this is part of what makes life so magical ... the very fact that it can find ways to rise above these contradictions. Yes, we can create reality via our thoughts. However, that doesn't make all of our thoughts correct. This is especially true of thoughts regarding who we are. These will never capture all of us accurately and completely. There will always be more to learn and discover about ourselves and about how we express in the world. Self-discovery is one of our major challenges in life, at least for those along particular spiritual paths. This does not seem to apply to everyone, however. There are many things that need to be done in society. We don't need everyone to be a philosopher. We need a variety of people with a variety of skills to accomplish the work that needs doing. Some are unskilled ... that is OK. But, no one should be uneducated in the world. That is simply a lack of caring enough to apply the resources necessary to educate everyone. How do we change the world? How do we get people to function as a society and realize their responsibility to all of the members of society? The closest things we have to that are countries, states, counties, cities, and towns. These take limited responsibility for their own in particular areas only. The organization is primarily governmental. It does not involve all of the citizenry. As a result, there is limited ability to meet the spectrum of needs of the populace. That is to be expected. Government is not a catch all meant to address all of the needs of society. However, what organizations do we have to promote the public will in other areas? How do we address our economic and spiritual needs? What is the contract between an individual and society? And, how does society fulfill its part of the bargain? Society only does what individuals or groups of individuals do. How do we ensure that collectively we are doing what must be done to meet the needs of all? Is this something we even need to worry about? If we don't concern ourselves with it, we leave it to chance. Worse yet, we leave it to companies whose best interests might not align with our own. It seems that if we want to create a better society, we need to take responsibility for these things. It may not be easy, but we need to choose to expend the right resources to address these issues anyway. Yes, this smack of master planning. But, is that not what creating a community is all about. In fact, for many housing developments, being "master-planned" is considered to be a good thing. Why shouldn't this be extended to the scope of the state, the country, and even the world? The bottom line is that there is no reason that it shouldn't. Yes, some attempts at doing this have failed dismally in the past ... communism in Russia and China are two cases in point. However, that only means that the implementation was flawed. If we chose to stop after a few failed attempts, most of the inventions in the world would never have seen the light of day. Individually, we will be surprised at what we can do when we put both mind and heart into our endeavors. We will be even more surprised at what we can achieve when we work with others in 181

cooperatively interdependent ways on our endeavors. The added power of people working together towards common goals is phenomenal. What that means is that if we really want to achieve something, we need to engage others in our endeavors. Sometimes that can be difficult to do. Loners, in particular, will find this to be a challenge. However, it is worth the effort. The power of groups goes up at least exponentially. However, we have to find ways for the group to function effectively. Typically, that requires some type of division of labor and some amount of leadership. Fortunately, there are many different types of people who can fill the various roles required. Be careful not to assign the wrong type of person to a job. The result is inefficiency and lack of progress. Watch for signs that people have been misassigned. People may try to hide these at first. But, when we get used to operating openly, this will become natural feedback that is used to adjust group assignments. It also helps to know what type of person you are. There are a variety of systems that categorize people. There is nothing good or bad about any particular category in any of these systems. Knowing your category and that of others helps you to take on assignments that allow you to do your best work and help you to better relate to others.

13 December 2003 Another fine day for a musing. We took some time yesterday to pull together the material for 2003 Musings - Vol III. It will be another lengthy sized book ... the last of its kind however. It is time for something new. It is time to take the expression in a new and different direction. What that will be remains to be seen. But spirit knows ... that is certain. There is a destiny that is being played out. We are the pawns and pieces in a game of chess. As such, we go where the chess master directs. Yet at the same time, we are the chess master as well for at least some aspects of our life and we control or at least influence how the game of life plays itself out. We play the game yet we are the very pieces in the game as well. We are both the observer and the actor. We are also the creator. Actor, observer, and creator are aspects of the one that we are. Most of us associate most with the actor. And, we play that role most of the time. Some of us have awakened to realize the observer. Once awakened, the light of spirit is upon us and we can hide in darkness no longer. Very few have realized the creator self. This part is very deeply hidden until we have the maturity to use our innate powers responsibly. That doesn't mean that the creator self isn't operating ... it's just that it is operating quietly behind the scenes at other than conscious levels. One goal of life is to make this process more conscious. The year is rapidly winding to a close. It has been a very productive year for the Beyond Imagination expression. If only we could reach more people. It seems that such is what 2004 will be about ... outreach on levels that we have not achieved before That is good. It feels like the time is right. To some extent, we have been waiting ten years for this to happen. Over the years we have tried a variety of things and effectively failed miserably. We took that as a sign that either the time was not right or the approach needed work. Now, it seems that it is not so important that we reach many. We just need to reach the right few that can help to make a difference. In this world, making a difference is what matters most. There is always something that we can do to make a difference. It doesn't matter how rich or poor we are. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. What matters is what is in our heart and how we can give of ourselves to serve others. Service is everything. The Air Force has a motto ... service before self. We would all do well to live by that motto and we would find that the world would indeed be a better place. Yet, there are a lot of selfish people in the world. How do we get them to abide by this as well. Simply expecting such behavior may or may not work. Life doesn't just happen. We create the reality that we experience. We do this all of the time for everything that we experience. It is time to take full responsibility for this, and if needed, do what it takes 182

to change what we experience. Belief management is critical here. Beliefs are one of the key mechanisms through which we filter information and thus create the reality that we believe that we should see. One major part of this is what we believe that we deserve. Typically, we do no get things that we don't believe that we deserve. The key exception to this is for the universe to remind us that we are more deserving than we believe ourselves to be. If we knew who we truly are ... we would find that we are far more deserving than we ever dreamed. That is what is ultimately in store for us as we realize our divinity as spirit manifest in flesh. How long this will take ... only spirit knows for certain. But, the world is evolving in accord with some grand plan for the evolution of consciousness. We are part of that plan. We are the very elements of that plan in motion. We are the consciousness that is evolving. In many respects, we have gone about as far as we could go as individuals. At least, there are some individuals for which that is true. The next grand endeavor is to join together to do works that could not be done otherwise, and to create grand new things. There is so much promise and so much potential. It will happen. It simply cannot be avoided. Here, spirit is running the show. And, she has much in store for us. Further, we have much in store for us if only we will admit it. Spirit manifests her will through us. She has no other way of doing her works in the world. Spirit ... we speak of spirit a lot here. But, just what is spirit? Have we ever defined it? We have said there is one spirit from which we all spring. But that doesn't define spirit. We have referred to her as feminine, as the source of all inspiration and creation. Yet many do not seem to experience her in this manner at all. That doesn't matter. We relate what we experience. If it applies, great. If not, find that place within you that knows what is right for you. There is such a place in each and every one of us. It is a matter of being still and evoking it into our lives. If we truly want to make the connection nothing can stop it from happening. However, we may still have to work at it. Not to worry, working at spiritual pursuits is fun and the rewards are great. There is a peace of spirit that comes from finding ones place in the scheme of things. Once found, no one can ever take that away from us.

14 December 2003 Two weeks into December and we're still going strong. The new year and all it's promise lies immediately before us. It is up to us to do with it what we will. The sense is that this is to be a special year once again ... much as the past two have been. Though it the energy is different as well so what is expressed will be different. 2002 was a productive year for these musings. 2003 brought the publishing of eight books in addition to an expanded set of musings. How do we top that? Then again, this is not a competition. Each year is to be judged on its own merit, if indeed it is to be judged at all. Whenever we will that we can only do so much, it is time to reach within and find the strength to do what we thought was impossible. So it seems anyway. Such is the challenge that we are faced with. We are meant to live miraculous lives. Spirit is capable of all manner of miracles when we allow her to operate and express through us. It is simply a matter of allowance and acceptance. That, and expectancy. We have to expect to see miracles if we are to see them. Life itself is such a miracle. It baffles and intrigues and astonishes us on every turn. It is truly a wonder to behold. The gift of life is truly a sacred blessing. It is something that we are given freely. But, it is up to us to do something special with that gift and share of it with others in some way, preferably in service. Service is not servitude. We are not enslaved, we are free. When we serve, we choose to give of ourselves in a way that helps others. However, depending on the type of service, we may or may not know whom we serve. This expression is a case in point. We don't know of more than a few people who are reached by it. There may be many more than that, but they don't provide feedback that shows how the Beyond Imagination expression impacts them.

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How do we create a true community? That seems to be the next step in the evolution of spiritual expression. There have been some intentional communities that have paved the way in the past century, identifying and resolving many of the challenges of living in community. There was a book entitled Builders of the Dawn that discussed many of these. I must have read it 15-20 years ago. At this point I don't remember anything other than that it was quite good. We still have it in our bookshelves somewhere. Now, however, it seems that we are moving beyond the dawn into the light of day in a new age. How will we implement some of the concepts to create a spiritually based society? That is important ... such is what differentiates the Aquarian Age from other ages. It will still be experienced in the context of individuals ... but they will be part of a larger whole, a society in which they live and function. How long will it take to manifest? It could be here in the blink of an eye. We are already three full years into the new millennium. At some point, the script calls for the setting to change. That could literally be at any time. So, what are we to do to fulfill our roles in this? As always, do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. That is how spirit operates through us. She moves us and motivates us ... though gently, to do what she would do through us. When we are expressing spirit, this is among the highest expression of which we are capable. Trust that spirit is showing you the way. Learn to listen to your intuition and follow where it leads. This is your connection to spirit, to the source within you. Develop that connection as much as you can that it may guide you to live the life that you are meant to live ... the life that you are destined for. Destiny is not a bad thing. This is especially true of spiritual destiny. In some respects, there is nothing that can take you off of your path. The very universe is there to assure that. Trust that your life has meaning and purpose. For, indeed it does, even greater than you can imagine. This applies to everyone, not just a special few. Though, some have far more to achieve than others ... dependant on the gifts that they have been given. Such gifts are always meant to be used, and preferably in service in some way. Though, it seems that this is not always the case. Many live selfish lives. That is OK. They are living in accord with their state of awareness. In general, people are always doing the best they can under the circumstances they find themselves under. That is a good belief to have about people. However, what most fail to realize is that they have created those circumstances. This is the key that allows us to change our reality. We are not subject to a host of forces outside of us. We choose what forces are active in our lives. We do this primarily through beliefs. For most, all of this happens on other than conscious levels. But, we can make it more conscious, far more conscious than we have experienced to date, if we are willing to work on it. That means self work ... the greatest work there is. Here we get to mold the clay of this vessel into what we will, preferably a vessel through which spirit can express more fully and clearly. This is a lifelong endeavor. Actually, it seems to span all of our incarnations. It seems that so long as we are spirit expressing in flesh, we will be moved to find ways to facilitate that expression. As individuals, we can only do so much. Collectively, in small groups at first and then in larger and larger groups, we can do so much more. We just need to desire to make it so and then do what it takes.

15 December 2003 Another fine day to express. We've started putting together 2003 Musings - Vol III. If all goes well, we should be able to complete it before we return from the holiday break. It will take a few weeks to put together the money to pay to have it published, however. Christmas is eating up far more of my funds than I thought that it would. That's OK. Christmas only comes once a year, as they say. It seems time to think in terms of a short book ... maybe 150-200 pages of the best of Beyond Imagination. It also should

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have a theme rather than just be a collection of best passages. Consciousness might make a good theme ... or belief management and reality creation. Throughout our lives, we do what is demanded of us. We do what we must. We do what circumstances force us to do. But, there is a different way to live. We can control the very circumstances that we experience. We can create our reality. We can do what we would do ... or what spirit would have us do. It is all a matter of choice. We need to be careful about what we accept as directives in our lives. We can be self-directed. We can be spirit-directed. It is all up to us. It always has been. This is where free will comes into play. We can accept limitation, or we can turn away from it and seek freedom. What we seek, we will eventually find ... we just need to seek sincerely for as long as it takes. We never know about the timing of things. That is for spirit or the universe to decide. Though, that shouldn't stop us from doing what we can to create things in our lives ... even with self-imposed deadlines if we desire. There is nothing wrong with pushing ourselves. We need to be wary of going too far and causing too much stress. However, a little challenge or even a big one now and then, is good for us. What would life be without its challenges? These are what allow us to excel. These are what bring out the very best in us. It seems that so long as we live and are willing to meet life openly ... we will have challenges to deal with and obstacles to overcome. We may not always be as successful as we might hope. However, all that matters is that we do our best or at least a reasonably good job. Some things are worth doing, and other things just don't matter as much. It takes wisdom to know the difference. But, there is a part of each of us where this wisdom resides. We just need to find it and tune into it. Further, what matters to me may not matter to you very much at all. That is to be expected. We have different challenges and different lessons to learn. It is only right that we would tailor our experiences to reflect this. We do this all the time. We tailor our reality to what we need to experience. That is what reality creation is all about ... creating the reality that we need to experience. Spirit operates from needs. She knows what these are at all times. Since we are spirit in expression, in some respects we are really her. There is only one consciousness, one spirit from which we all spring. That same one consciousness, one spirit, animates us all. That is one reason that there is incredible cooperation in the world. Yes, it happens at other than conscious levels much of the time ... but it happens nonetheless. Collectively, we are in the process of making the cooperation much more conscious. When we do that, we unleash all manner of spiritual energy to do its magic in the world. When will the Aquarian Age finally arrive? What makes us think that it is not already here. The songs of the 60's spoke of the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the water bearer. That was nearly 40 years ago. How long does the dawning process take? 50 years just popped into my mind. That would be another 1013 years from now. That puts us in 2013-2016 or so. Those are an interesting pair of years, the 13:Death and 16:Tower years of the third millennium. Clearly, these are appropriate times for major transformations. 2016 begs to be expressed as 216 = 6x6x6, one of the forms of 666:The Beast. 2004 rapidly approaches. It arrives in just over two weeks. Yet, we still don't know what to expect. We still don't know what difference the energy for the year will make. That is OK. We can live with it being whatever it will be. Regardless, we are moved to make the very best of it. Further, we know that such is what we are destined to do. We are living a life of spirit now. When one lives such a life, the rules of the game change. Everything becomes more benign. All manner of aid comes to our assistance. We become capable of doing incredible and miraculous things. It is a matter of having the right attitude. There is a sense that 2004 is going to bring some welcome changes in this area. Also, it is to be a year of outreach in ways beyond anything we have experienced to date. That feels right. But, there is an element of fear that arises with it as well. That is one of the problems that I face. Being such a loner for so long, I've become set in ways that no longer serve me. They no longer support who I want to be and what I want to do. When such happens, we have a choice to make ... a choice to be different than we have been before. Each year brings its energy. Each of us react to that energy differently depending on our own energy. As a 185

result, some years have the potential for more than other years. By more, we mean more creativity, more productivity, more awareness, more abundance, ...

18 December 2003 Missed two days of expression in a row. It seems that such will become more common in the days ahead. There is something in store for this expression other than the daily musings. I still don't know what that will be, though more directed expression seems to be called for. That is OK. It is time for something new. I can use the rest of the year to wind down and work on several projects that are ongoing: 2003 Musings - Vol III, Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. I'm sure there are others that will come up as well involving more focused expressions of the Beyond Imagination material. We'll just have to see what I am moved to do. There is a sense that major changes lay in store for 2004 ... changes on many fronts. I am ready for such changes, as ready as I have ever been. In fact, I look forward to what lies ahead, not only for me, but for the world. Why should 2004 be any different than any other year? In general, change happens to the consensus very slowly ... even in this day and age. At least, that is true for the changes that truly matter. Technology brings major changes to our world every year, but these don't necessarily impact us personally unless we choose to embrace them. We can pick and choose what technology to consume in our lives. By many standards, my reality is pretty backwards. I don't have a cell phone or a beeper, I don't have cable at home or even a television aerial, I don't have a PDA or even a day planner for that matter. I haven't worn a watch for over 20 years. I rarely use the telephone. However, I do have three computers that I use. I would be lost without e-mail. And, I would have nowhere to express without Netscape Composer and the Internet. I am an information generator in an information age. What more could one ask to be? Life is about the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit in flesh. Yet, how many of us know what consciousness really is? How many of us know how much of life occurs at other than conscious levels? How many of us know the varieties of consciousness and of spiritual expression in our lives? My guess would be far fewer than most people imagine. It seems that we have a tendency to believe that we consciously know far more than we do. Generally, that doesn't hurt us ... for indeed there is some part of us that knows. However, we need to be careful in this area ... careful not to presume too much. We are spiritual beings, first and foremost. We are meant to know that, truly know that. Some things we can doubt if we'd like, but this is not one of them. There is too much riding on it, literally all that we are. We are meant to live our lives in accord with a higher purpose, with a mission that is uniquely ours. However, this does not happen automatically. We have to do our parts. We have to play the roles we've chosen. There are no surprises. We auditioned for and were selected for these very roles. We even create the roles that we experience. Because of this, there is no one to blame but ourselves if we don't like what we've gotten into. Many still play the victim however ... and others the victors. Such is not enlightened behavior. We are what we are. We can be whatever we choose to be. That is an interesting way of putting it since it seems that our range of choices is not completely free. Actually, free will and choice are interesting concepts. In the play, we never really know whether things are scripted or whether we are free to choose. Even the experience of choosing is not sufficient to confirm this. The bottom line is that we can never go back to the same point and make a different choice. The conclusion from this is that it doesn't really matter whether we have free will or not ... at least not with regard to what happens. We are free to apply meaning to what happens. And, it is the meaning that we apply that makes all of the difference. This is ultimately what determines our reality. Our lives are meant to be meaningful ... full of 186

meaning. But, this only happens if we provide the context. Because of this, we make our lives whatever they are. Further, we attract the things that we experience into our lives as well. Once again, this occurs on primarily other than conscious levels. But, we do have some latitude to impact this consciously through our beliefs. This is one control mechanism for reality creation that is under our influence. Not everything that we think we believe will manifest. It all depends on the strength of the belief and its consistency with other beliefs in our arsenal. It pays to believe strongly. It also pays to have a consistent belief system. However, we must remember the warning about "foolish consistency being the hobgoblin of little minds". I don't remember whether Emerson or Thoreau said that. We need to be open and flexible. We need to be able to adopt new ideas on a moments notice when we recognize that they are superior to the ones that we currently hold. Change is the only constant in this world. Avoiding change is tantamount to death. We need to embrace change, and look forward to all of the possibilities that it opens up in our lives. My Grown-up Christmas List plays as I write this. It is one of my favorites. It must have played over a dozen times today, being sung by at least three different artists. It is uplifting and positive. It forces you to think globally about things that impact the entire human family. No more families torn apart. That wars would never start. Every one would have a friend. Right would always win. These are all wonderful things to wish for. Hopefully, the popularity of the song will result in many with such wishes. The more sincere we are in making these wishes the better. Further, the more of us that do so, the more likely that what we wish for will indeed become reality. We truly do create our own reality individually and en masse. This could be the last posting for a few weeks. Have a wonderful holiday season! Enjoy. Remember that this is truly a time to allow spirit to express through you as fully as you can. Make the effort. You will find that it is more than worth it. Search within and decide what you want to manifest in the New Year. May it be a prosperous and abundant new year for all. Yes, you will be called to do your part to make it so ... but do it with joy. In fact, do everything that you do with joy. Where joy is, happiness is soon to follow. Our search for happiness does not have to be a lifelong endeavor. We can find what we seek. Share of whom that you are with others more than you have ever done before. Be open and trust. You will not be disappointed. Allow love to express itself in all that you do. That is the secret of great works ... the amount of love that goes into them.

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BEST QUOTES

2003 Musings - Vol III

by

Wayne Hartman

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INTRODUCTION The following were selected as the best quotes from the material expressed in 2003 Musings – Vol III. This continues something that was done for Vol I and II earlier this year. Quotations are especially powerful to me. The fact that so many powerful expressions could come forth through me in such a short period of time is mind boggling. We are only talking about a four month period. Yet, we have hundreds of quotes once again. The quotes are numbered starting with 1544, where we left off at the conclusion of 2003 Musings – Vol II. Allow the numbers in your life to guide you to passages of significance. Feel free to open up to any page and read from any passage. This is not a linear expression that must be read in order. Enjoy! Be Happy and Create Well! I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! LOVE, Wayne Feel free to contact me if you relate strongly to this material or you have feedback to provide. I’m looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Wayne Hartman 1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278 [email protected]

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Musings of a Spiritual Warrior 1 September 2003 1544 - It is amazing what is buried in a few simple numbers. But, spirit is very resourceful. She makes maximum use of all that she is given to work with. And symbol systems are one such area where there is much freedom to express meaning in an endless number of ways. 1545 - There is a difference between the works and the entity through whom the works are done. 1546 - This expression in many ways constitutes the book of my life. However, I am not fully in control of what is revealed. 1547 - There is an inner source that directs the flow of consciousness that is recorded here. For the most part, it is as if I am along for the ride. 1548 - If I want to experience something different in my reality, I need to do something different. 1549 - How do I imagine myself living and working in the days ahead? Unless I can imagine it ... there is no way for me to create it.

2 September 2003 1550 - It is here in this expression that I find myself doing something of value ... something that is potentially of great importance not only to me but to the world. Yes, it is audacious of me to think in this manner. But, how would you think if all of this was coming forth through you? 1551 - Actually, in a sense, if you are reading this it is coming forth through you ... just in a different way. 1552 - That is part of what this expression is all about, capturing a stream of consciousness so that others can walk in my mindsteps for awhile. 1553 - There is no one way that is the way, that is right for everyone. 1554 - Each way is only a way, and may or may not apply to any given individual. We must find what works for us. This will be different for each of us. 1555 - Why is it so difficult to believe that human nature is basically good? Why is it so difficult to believe that people naturally want to do the right thing? 1556 - John Lennon's song Imagine plays in the background as I write this. That could easily be a theme song for Beyond Imagination. What he imagines ... we want to take the next step and manifest on Earth. 1557 - Change starts with one person believing enough in something to be willing to do what it takes to manifest it. 1558 - While many new age concepts are whimsical and many spiritual theories are indeed untestable, that by no means applies to all of them. 190

1559 - The scientific method when it is applied in the wrong way can lead to highly erroneous and whimsical theories as well. 1560 - My sense of things is that consciousness and awareness are synergistic phenomena. They are more than any of their parts would suggest as possible. 1561 - I would go so far as to suggest that there is a soul that is non-physical that is associated with each of us, and that we are the physical projection of that soul. How much can be projected depends on what we do to create a vessel through which that soul can express. 1562 - The world of our imagination is just as real as 3D. It is expressed in art, in song, in books, in poetry, in dance, in philosophy and thought and in any number of creative ways. 1563 - To some of us, the world of ideas ... of ideals, is just as real, if not more real than the world of form. In fact, we consider ourselves to be in the process of manifesting the world of our imaginations. 1564 - Thoughts do have power! The right thoughts at the right times in the right minds have the power to change the world. But only if they cause people to DO SOMETHING that results in the necessary changes. 1565 - Often, it is not what happens that matters, it is what meaning we assign to what happens. 1566 - Choosing a life of spirit is not a matter of checking out, rather it is really a matter of checking in, in the grandest way that we can at this time in this existence. 1567 - We are spirit experiencing an incarnation in flesh. That is true for all of us. It seems too many have focused so much on being flesh that they have forgot that their true nature is spirit. 1568 - As to when the grim reaper gets us … we will choose the time, place, and circumstances for that as well. 1569 - Everything that I see tells me that there is a divine plan unfolding on a very large scale. It is a plan the involves the evolution of the physical vessels in which consciousness can express in flesh. For the most part these have been limited to individuals thus far. But, we are starting to see organizations being born that embody a collective spiritual consciousness. As the times progress we shall see more and more of this. 1570 - At some point, we are going to realize that we are ONE WORLD, and that there is ONE CONSCIOUSNESS that animates us all. When that happens we will truly see changes that are wonderful to behold. 1571 - My sense is that something is pulling the world and associated forms within the world toward ideals that permit the greater expression of spirit. 1572 - Someday, we are going to include the spiritual component in our "equations" and explanations of things. 1573 - Personal Power is the ability to apply one's skills and talents to co-create the reality that one prefers to experience.

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1574 - There is a difference between where you want to be and where you need to be. It seems that spirit ensures that I am always at the later ... but perhaps not at the former. 1575 - As to how I'll know when I'm finished, that one is easy ... I'll be dead.

3 September 2003 1576 - Clearly I am different than most people. What moves me, what stirs me, what excites me, what motivates me, what drives me are very different for me than for others. 1577 - Yet, I am flesh and bones. I have two arms and two legs and a head just as anyone else. The body is the same. The brain may even be similar. But the programming that has been experienced for 45 years is distinct for each of us. 1578 - One area ripe for study is the brain, the mind, and the nature of consciousness. 1579 - It seems that my destiny is in my hands now. Perhaps it has always been ... only now, I am truly aware of it as I have never been before.

4 September 2003 1580 - The only thing that guides me is an inner knowingness that what I am experiencing right now is limited and is definitely not all there is. Spirit has more in store for me than this ... of that much I am sure. 1581 - This expression is this prolific for a reason. Yet, there is also some reason that my nature is as solitary as it has been for my whole life. 1582 - That I could reach this point and these conclusions given these conditions and experiences says a lot about the nature of consciousness and spiritual expression. 1583 - We experience what we need to experience to learn and to grow into whom that we need to be to carry out our missions in the world. 1584 - Life is unfolding before us each and every moment. And, what a grand process it is to behold. Spirit animates it all, every aspect of it ... the bad as well as the good. There is nothing but spirit in expression 1585 - There is a play of light and dark that is underway. And we are the actors and players within that play ... creating and experiencing our reality. But, there is a playwright and a director pulling the strings behind the scenes.

5 September 2003 1586 - I would be a unique individual and would choose to do things my way. Being normal or being part of the crowd do not appeal to me at all. Though, there is a part of me that would be happy to do my work in the background rather than in the limelight. Whether that will come to pass or not remains to be seen. 192

6 September 2003 1587 - My sense is that I am to live my life in the moment ... in the here and now, doing what I am moved to do in the moment, trusting that what I am moved to do is exactly what needs to be done. That doesn't mean that I should ignore any feedback from the world. Quite the contrary ... I am to invite it and use it to help guide my endeavors. 1588 - Everything comes down to a vision. Do we buy into the vision or not? If so, we should be willing to do things that are consistent with manifesting that vision. 1589 - It seems that small changes are simply not going to get us to where we need to be to facilitate the birth of a new age. Yet, who is empowered to make big changes? The answer is simple. Collectively, we all are! 1590 - Everything is as it is for a reason. It is perfectly reflecting our beliefs about what reality should be both individually and collectively. 1591 - There is a spiritual plan and destiny that is being enacted. We are but the players in that plan. We will do what must be done when it need be done. And, we will do it willingly and cheerfully or we will not do it at all. 1592 - That is how spirit works. She doesn't force us to do things ... she gently nudges and allows us to do as we will. Yet, in the end everything unfolds as it is meant to unfold. 1593 - How can I be so certain that destiny will unfold in this manner? The chief answer is because I live in a world where spirit is expressing in flesh. 1594 - We are ever in the process of building new forms that permit greater and greater spiritual expression. 1595 - Regardless of appearances to the contrary, we are all spirit enfleshed, spirit having a physical experience. 1596 - While we are physical, we are meant to be just that ... be physical. Though that does not mean losing sight of our spiritual nature as we do this. 1597 - There is nothing that says that we have to understand everything. 1598 - Our works and the impact that our life has had on the lives of others constitute what our life amounts to. These are what survive us in the world. 1599 - On the personal front, what we have done to "know thyself" and the degree of awareness that we have achieved are what we get to keep and take with us.

7 September 2003 1600 - Our challenge has always been to find our limits and to either overcome them or find a way to use them to accomplish what needs to be done. 193

1601 - The benefits of living an isolated life pale by comparison with the benefits of living a life in community. I know this. I just need to make it a real part of my life. 1602 - Part of that is to create the very community that I would choose to be an active member of.

8 September 2003 1603 - Each revelation from consciousness takes us someplace new, someplace that we have never been before. 1604 - That is one thing that I can count on from this stream of consciousness ... that it will carry me into the wilderness of the unknown. 1605 - This is not a popularity contest. I am a unique being. It is OK for me to experience my reality in a unique way. And what works for me can work for anyone. 1606 - This expression is the most exciting part of my life. This is where I get to touch spirit firsthand and where I get to share whom that I AM with others. 1607 - We can't continuously improve things unless there is a feedback path. 1608 - Collectively we are responsible for pointing out waste and inefficiencies so that we can improve these.

9 September 2003 1609 - I would build the foundations for a new world. But, what does that mean in practical terms? What foundations need to be built? And, how do we go about building them? 1610 - The world can be a better place. But, it will only be one if we choose to do what it takes to make it one. 1611 - Consciousness is patiently waiting for the organizations to be created that allow it to be more fully expressed in flesh. 1612 - These organizations are groups of people cooperating together to create something that is greater than any of the individuals could have created alone. 1613 - There is a time lag between believing something and seeing it manifest in our reality. This lag can be from months to days to hours in some cases.

11 September 2003 1614 - Today marks the second anniversary of a day that lives in infamy. The horror of what a few terrorists were able to do is etched in our memories. The visions of planes crashing into buildings and two tall towers crashing to the ground. These will stay with us forever as we remember all those lost in this great tragedy. 194

1615 - Where we apply resources, we generally get results ... especially when we employ our best and our brightest. 1616 - One can do far worse than to have spirit as an active force in one's life. 1617 - Some part of me knows exactly what needs to be done. No, clearly I don't consciously know what this is. But, some part of me knows ... of that I am certain. 1618 - I accept the fact that my conscious awareness of myself is limited. I accept the fact that there are parts of me that know how to do things that I have no clue about, and further can do them well. I don't even need to know what they are for them to work their wonders in my life. I just need to be open and allow. 1619 - We are truly magnificent creatures when we allow ourselves to be. Unfortunately, most are not aware of just how magnificent they are. This is a shame. This is a failure of our educational system. It fails to teach us the most important thing ... whom that we are. 1620 - Perhaps it is to much to expect it to teach us this. However, it should at least point us down the path toward finding it out ourselves. Know Thyself! That is the most important things that education should address.

13 September 2003 1621 - We have been expressing for over a decade. One would think that by now we would have some idea as to whom we were expressing to. 1622 - Can others benefit from what is captured as well? It seems that yes, there is great value in surfing the waves of consciousness of others. This has the potential to expand our own states of consciousness ... and such expansions are always good. 1623 - Typically, I don't have to work to make things happen, I just need to do what I am moved to do and allow them to happen. Though, don't get me wrong ... doing what I am moved to do may require working very hard at times. 1624 - It is time to connect with others in a cooperatively interdependent way to start creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can express more fully in flesh. 1625 - It is not just any revolution that we are seeking, it is a spiritual revolution. These are both the easiest and the most difficult to achieve ... the easiest because spirit herself is behind our endeavors, the most difficult because most individuals are not operating from spiritual levels of awareness in their day to day lives. 1626 - Our lives are meant to be lived in the now. This is where the point of power lies. 1627 - Since the beginning, there has been no need to organize the material in any manner. It came through as it was meant to come through. And it was shared as it came through.

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1628 - That saves a lot of work. But, that also means that there is some intelligence that is responsible for originating all of this. I would like to say that this "intelligence" is me. But, that is not how I experience it ... not consciously anyway. 1629 - I make a distinction between what I am consciously aware of and what I am not consciously aware of. At this time, it seems the distinction is important ... at least to me. 1630 - With a dozen or a dozen dozen, the added value of synergy is truly phenomenal. 1631 - The bottom line is that it doesn't take millions or even hundreds of thousands to create massive change. As few as dozens or hundreds may be sufficient in most areas if we organize effectively. 1632 - It is interesting that I consider the musings and the books silent. But, these are unilateral expressions. They are effectively done in a vacuum. There has been limited feedback to date to come from their expression. 1633 - The future is what we make of it. That is how the game of reality creation works. We need to watch for disempowering beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones when we find them.

14 September 2003 1634 - My life is only partially mine. A large part has been given to the universe to do spirits bidding. I do this willingly and joyfully. I cannot think of a more fulfilling way to live my life and expend my energies. 1635 - Words seem to be perfectly adequate for conveying what is being conveyed at the moment. So long as that is the case, it seems that they will be employed to do what they can do though me. 1636 - Living in accord with the vision is a two way street. Society provides services to the citizenry, but the citizenry needs to give something back to the society in return. 1637 - Collectively, we the people are the society. It is not some thing that is separate from us. Similarly, we are the economy, or the labor that generate the goods and services that the economy provides to the members of society. 1638 - Each of us is responsible for our own reality. But, to what degree are we responsible for the collective reality experienced by those around us? 1639 - We create our reality both individually and en masse. We can choose to do things that make a difference for the collective reality. 1640 - We don't have to do everything. It is enough for us to do our part. We will know what that is. It will be what feels right for us to do. 1641 - Beings high on the realization scale find fulfillment to be a powerful driver for behavior. For some, it becomes the most powerful motivator.

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1642 - How do I more fully express whom that I AM? That is what is at the heart of the issue. In doing that, I maximize what I allow spirit to express through me. That is living at my finest. That is living in accord with the directive - be all that you can be. 1643 - This directive applies to each of us. However, there is a collective responsibility to provide and infrastructure, an environment that facilitates this. Presently, that does not exist. We have to work too hard to express whom that we are. This should be easier ... much easier. 1644 - Hopefully, we will start seeing more involvement with others ... more of a communication, and eventually the creation of a community. That is where the principles, the theory, hit the reality. 1645 - We must find what really matters to us and find a way to do it. If we are lucky, we will find a way to make our life's work our livelihood as well. 1646 - There is a sense that 2004-2028 are to be the years of Beyond Imagination manifestation. There is a difference between expression and manifestation. It is the later that makes things real. That is what comes next ... reality creation.

16 September 2003 1647 - I have done a wonderful job in isolating myself ... so wonderful that it will be a challenge to overcome this should I finally decide that such is really what I want to do. 1648 - Things will unfold in their own timing. They cannot be rushed. They will happen when the time is right and not until. 1649 - I would hope that others would benefit from seeing the perspective of a different consciousness ... one captured in daily snapshots. 1650 - I know that it would have helped me to read such works as mine when I was growing up to give me some idea as to what consciousness was capable of. It would have stretched my concepts even more than they were stretched by the many metaphysical books that I read. But, I had to wait until I could generate them to be able to read them. 1651 - It is as if I am creating the very reality that I need to experience. And, not surprisingly, that is exactly what I am doing. But, not just me, that is what are all doing. 1652 - Everything that happens in our lives is drawn there by our beliefs about ourselves, our world, reality, and reality creation. We experience what we expect to experience, what we believe that we will experience. 1653 - There is a part of me that knows. I have learned to access this part and give it voice in my life. It generally comes from inside via my intuition. 1654 - Unless we do something different we will keep getting what we have always gotten. If we want something new we must stretch somehow ... we must become more than we ever were before.

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1655 - Consciousness is my rock. She is my foundation. With her, I soar to heights Beyond Imagination and dream of things that have never been. Yet I know that my dreams foretell of a time to come, and of a world to come. 1656 - It is there just beyond my grasp but it is there just as vivid and real as anything in this world. It calls to me to assist in giving it form, to assist in planting it firmly on the ground, to assist in making it real. 1657 - We ask that our effort make a difference, that they have world impact somehow. Yes, that is a lot to ask of anyone. At the same time ... we are not just anyone. We came with a specific purpose and mission ... one that would ultimately impact the world in a highly positive way. Nothing can keep us from doing what we came to do. We are that committed to carrying out our mission in this existence. 1658 - We need to have spirit operating in our corner ... completely, especially given the complexities of the world in which we live. 1659 - How is it that so much of this expression is expressed in the declarative. There is no preceding it with "in my opinion" or "I have observed that" or "perhaps things work like". No, what is stated is emphatic. It is what it is. It is not wishy-washy in stating what would be expressed.

17 September 2003 1660 - It is spirits bidding that I do. With her on my side I know that I can be assured that my actions are right. 1661 - We have no choice but to make the best of the cards that we are dealt. It is not clear that we can do anything to change that. 1662 - To do each day at least one thing that will live on. To say each day one memorable thing that has never been said before. To express each day something new ... something that has never before seen the light of day. If we do this, each day we will have done something that makes a difference. 1663 - The differences that we have made not only in our lives but the lives of others are what truly matter. It only makes sense that we should focus our energies on these. 1664 - Much that we do is ultimately for naught in the grander scheme of things. But, some things matter. We need to find what these are and do them wholeheartedly. 1665 - I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Is that asking for too much? Is that not what a new age promises ... what a new age demands? If not me whom? Why not me? 1666 - I still live day to day, reacting to what spirit presents to me in the moment. Plans have little place in such an existence. Our vision only extends out one step at a time ... and that is how we live our life, one step after the next trusting that spirit is guiding us every step of the way. 1667 - I like operating on the edge. I like questioning my on sanity on occasion. It is good for the soul. Life is meant to be a challenge.

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1668 - Life to me is a spiritual adventure or it is nothing. There is no gray here ... not for me. The spiritual colors everything that I do, everything that I see, everything that I experience, everything that I am. 1669 - There are no problems that are too big for us to tackle. We just need to be willing to do what it takes to do the right things.

18 September 2003 1670 - There is no place for chance in my worldview. Things happen by design because we choose for them to. We create our own reality both individually and en masse.

1671 - Compare not what you do to what others do. You are doing what you need to do in the way you need to be doing it. 1672 - It is not clear that we will ever make it to the point where all are sufficiently aware to lead lives of light ... lives of spirit, in this existence. 1673 - It must be enough for me to see a core group operating in this manner. Such a group will serve as a prototype that can demonstrate to the world what is possible. The challenge will be to go from what is possible to what is probable to what is reality for everyone. 1674 - What makes me think I know what is right for society any better than anyone else? All that I know for certain is that I am moved to care enough in this area to express what would come forth through me. 1675 - Why do I speak out in this manner ... especially given that I have no clue as to who will hear me? The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter whether anyone hears or not. It does matter that I express what I am moved to express. Each time I do this, I reinforce a connection with source, a connection with the spirit within. I affirm that it is the inner and not the outer that matters most in my life. 1676 - Being happy seems to be elusive for me. It has always been thus. It is like I get an occasional taste of it, but most of the time it is out of my grasp. That is OK. Having things just outside of our grasp gives us something to strive for. 1677 - What would it take for me to be happy? If I don't know, how can I expect the universe to come forth with the right conditions? 1678 - Happiness is a choice that we make! It is an attitude that we carry with us as we approach the events of our lives. 1679 - Our souls are wise beings that know far more than we can begin to contain within the gray matter of our brains. 1680 - Beingness is permanent. We are forever. There is nothing that we can do that will cause us to cease to be. Oh, these temporal bodies may wither and die, returning dust to dust ... but there is a spirit inside that is infinite and eternal, and that is inviolate.

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1681 - Remember, experiencing something does not necessarily make it real ... it only makes it experienced.

19 September 2003 1682 - The "reality" of the consensus world does not conform with my understanding of how things work. I live in a world that is primarily spiritual that happens to be having a physical expression at the moment. 1683 - I have very strong spiritual blinders. Unless something has a strong spiritual component, it just doesn't get through these filters. 1684 - We all use filters to make our lives simpler by eliminating the things that we simply don't want to see. 1685 - We only have so much time. Filters allow us to focus that time on those things that are most important to us. 1686 - We create filters via beliefs, primarily beliefs about what things mean and what things are important to us. We need to be careful though. In doing this, we are effectively constructing our reality to conform with our filters. 1687 - We can literally change the world that we experience by changing our filters. They are that powerful. 1688 - There is no one objective world that everyone experiences. We each have our own subjective experiences ... and you might be surprised at just how subjective these are. Oh, there is a common natural backdrop to our experiences. But on top of that backdrop we display incredible freedom and creativity to produce whatever we desire to experience. 1689 - This is indeed the direction that we are moving in ... toward conscious creation of what we experience. Along with that comes conscious responsibility not only for what our choices do to us, but for what they do to others and society as a whole. 1690 - For now, it is enough to know that I am responsible and I am creating the reality that I experience. If I don't like it, my beliefs are the place to go to effect the changes necessary to create something different. 1691 - We have given a lot of ourselves to share all that is expressed at Beyond Imagination. All that we ask is that our sharing is not for naught ... that we find an appropriate audience that might benefit from what spirit has so freely shared through us. 1692 - It is amazing that we live in an age where the freedom of information is so clearly manifested. I can generate this now and within minutes of finishing post the file to a server in Monterey which makes it available to anyone in the world. 1693 - Information on it's own has limited utility. It needs a context to give it meaning. Who provides such contexts? This seems to be a skill that few seem to have.

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1694 - One of the primary benefits of the Beyond Imagination experience is that you get to walk where my consciousness has walked for awhile.

20 September 2003 1695 - What can one expect to gain as a result of reading the Beyond Imagination books? For one thing you get to experience the stream of consciousness of one who has become aware to a greater degree than most. 1696 - I liken this to the journal of an explorer of old describing the wilderness he encountered. Only, my wilderness is the wilderness of consciousness. What I am able to bring forth is the most faithful rendering of what I have been able to experience. 1697 - The realm of consciousness is connected to the mind but extends far beyond the limits of the brain and the mind. 1698 - Our body is one of our most intimate creations. It seems that we should be making choices that keep it in synch with our image of what we want it to be. 1699 - Patience. There is an overwhelming feeling that I need to be doing more. Yet, at the same time the guidance is to be patient. Things will unfold in their proper timing. You are in spirits hands now. She would not lead you astray. 1700 - You are here to express. You are doing that. Though, is not part of expression to ensure that the communication reaches its intended audience? Actually no, that is not a necessary part of expression. 1701 - Patience. Patience. Patience. Spirit will not be rushed. It may seem that the timing of things is urgent, but it is not so urgent as it seems. Things are unfolding exactly as they need to unfold. There is nothing that you have to do differently.

21 September 2003 1702 - All that I ask is that people abide by the rule from The Lion King - never take more than you give. Whenever you take something, anything, from anywhere ... make sure that you pay for it by giving back more than its worth somewhere in your life. This doesn't always involve a direct payback to the source from which you took originally. Allow spirit to ensure that the circles eventually return appropriately. 1703 - I only know that I was strongly moved to publish the books ... all of them. Once that I knew that I could do it, it became more than a possibility ... it became a reality awaiting actualization. I knew there was nothing that could stop me from doing what I set out to do. 1704 - Nearly every aspect of our consciousness is beyond our understanding. 1705 - We are naturally drawn to the things that work for us when we allow our inner resources to be expressed. 1706 - There is a force within us that drives us toward actualization of whom that we are. It helps if we cooperate and allow it to manifest what it will in our lives ... but many seem to fight it tooth and nail. 201

1707 - Our Self knows exactly where we belong and how best to get us there. 1708 - Spirit seems to thrive on challenges. They keep life interesting. Boredom is akin to death. Actually, it is worse than death. 1709 - Remember, we get what we focus effort upon. If we want change in any area ... if we want to fix problems that plague us, we need to commit sufficient resources. 1710 - The spiritual part of us will not be denied. It will have its rightful place in our interactions in the world. 1711 - We take great strides to give the appearance that we are in control of our lives. But, for most of us ... that is a front, not reality. 1712 - The truth is that we are swayed by emotions over which we have limited control as well as thoughts over which we have limited ability to evaluate for ourselves. 1713 - I remember stating something to the effect that we need to ensure the living continuity of what we know by teaching what we have learned to at least one other living person before we pass on. 1714 - Depending on our interests we may have to teach parts of what we know to different people. We can't necessarily expect to find someone like us that would be interested in all of it.

22 September 2003 1715 - The more that I express ... the more that there seems to be awaiting expression. At some point, I have to draw the line and say enough is enough. Though, I am reluctant to do this. I do enjoy this expression so. 1716 - I try not to schedule much of anything. I prefer to keep my days unstructured. I prefer to be able to follow the chief inner guidance that I have received: do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. 1717 - This has always been good guidance. I have been able to count on spirit to do the moving in my life. And, she seems far more knowledgeable and able than I am. 1718 - I can imagine doing far more. But, will I have the opportunity to do so. It seems that this is a matter of making not having the opportunity. 1719 - We can do whatever we set our minds, our hearts, and our spirits to do. It takes all three to reach the level of commitment necessary to make things happen. And even then, it must be consistent with what we believe or it simply won't happen. Beliefs are that powerful. They are that important to the reality that we experience. 1720 - The universe works in mysterious ways. But, she has given us symbol systems by which to gain insight into some of her activity. However, it is for us to learn of these systems and engage them in our lives if they are to be of benefit.

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1721 - I am fully responsible for all that I experience. The issue is one of at what level we make our choices. To me, it seems that this is still primarily at other than conscious levels. We can make it more conscious if we so choose, but this is not a necessity for living happily. 1722 - Make everyday count. Do what you can do to make a difference somehow. In the end, that is all that matters. 1723 - Service before self ... that is the motto for the Air Force. That is one of the mottos that I live by. Then again, I could imagine how some people might consider this expression self serving. 1724 - What else would I do with my life? What would I do that would result in products of more lasting value? Is not this expression enough? Are not these ideas sufficient to be worthy of my presence on the planet? 1725 - It seems the answer is no, or I would feel more satisfied than I do. There is still a sense that I am not doing enough. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself and will never do enough. Then again, by definition, whatever I am able to do must be enough ... especially if I am sincere in my effort.

23 September 2003 1726 - We do the best we can with the opportunities that we are given. Further, we realize that these are the very opportunities that we created for ourselves. 1727 - There is a difference between being productive and busy and being happy. For me, the former seems to be a necessary component for the later, but it clearly is not a sufficient component. 1728 - Why is it that happiness is so elusive? It seems that it should be a state that is natural and easy to reach. But, this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not in my life to date. 1729 - One way or another, it seems that Beyond Imagination is to grow into something from which great works can be done ... works far beyond anything we have created to date, works that go beyond words to building the actual foundations for a new world. 1730 - All that we can do is carry out our roles as we see them. If we do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... we will be doing exactly that. 1731 - It is not for me necessarily to choose to create whatever I would create in and of my own. Rather, it is for me to actively allow those things to manifest that are consistent with carrying out my mission.

24 September 2003 1732 - There is nothing that holds us to our prior choices except ourselves and our own inertia. 1733 - At times this can be a good thing. It can keep us going through the rough times and get us to bright days that lie ahead. But, during times when massive change is called for ... inertia is not such a good thing. It keeps us from getting to where we need to be, or results in getting there much more slowly or more circuitously than necessary.

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1734 - Then again, from another perspective, if we experience it ... then it is necessary, almost by definition. That is a hard thing to swallow when you look at all the pain and suffering experienced by so many in the world. Can all of that really be necessary? How could spirit be so cruel as to permit all of that to happen in that manner? However, the very way that we are asking the question is flawed. Everything is spirit in expression. Everything being experienced is being experienced by spirit. If it could have avoided some of the hurt and the suffering, it would have. So, the bottom line must mean that this could not have been avoided. 1735 - Until we take responsibility for it, and for doing something about it, that is true ... nothing can be done except through us and by us. 1736 - At what point are we going to realize that the reality that we experience is the reality that we are creating for ourselves both individually and collectively? 1737 - A better world starts with each of us living a better life, and doing things to contribute to improvements in our communities and our world. 1738 - We have the power to do great things, individually and collectively. Whether we will tap this power and use it for this purpose remains to be seen. 1739 - Allowing free will to manifest is not "cruel". However, it does create an environment where unscrupulous operators could take advantage of gullible and unsuspecting victims. 1740 - Do the victims choose to be victims. In some cases we can say yes. People choose to drink alcohol or to smoke cigarettes. 1741 - Sellers should not be free to sell whatever buyers are willing to buy. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from. That is directly counter to the basis of a free market economy. 1742 - In a free market, it is the presence of potential consumers that drives the need for a particular good or service. Here, we are saying that is not enough. The seller must demonstrate that his goods or services have more value than the fulfillment of some consumer desire. 1743 - There is a deep inner longing to make myself known to others somehow ... to a much greater degree than I have ever done. This can happen in two ways. One, through personal contact and interaction. Two, through exposure of people to this expression. 1744 - Much of whom that I AM is revealed here in these works. That has been true since the beginning. This expression is my way of sharing who I am with the world. 1745 - When I express, the only purpose that I have in mind is to express what consciousness would bring forth as clearly as I can. I know that I am not consciously in control of what is being expressed. 1746 - We always find time to do those things that we value the most. In fact, that is one of the ways to find out what we value the most ... look at where we spend our time, especially our free time. 1747 - Express what would be expressed through you. Worry not as to where it comes from or where it will go. The material will reach those whom it is meant to reach.

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1748 - You will be guided each step along the way. Just keep taking one step after the next in the direction that feels right to you. Trust! You will know what the right direction is. You will know! 1749 - The Self is not a body or a vessel, it is a being. Yet, what is consciousness? Is it not that which animates life? ... that which gives life to life? 1750 - them and changing our beliefs rapidly should more empowering beliefs come our way. 1751 - The power of beliefs is judged solely by utility.

25 September 2003 1752 - Clearly, there is great benefit that comes from focused effort. We are able to create far more than we have ever dreamed possible. 1753 - Relationships must be developed and nurtured. This takes time, effort, and attention. 1754 - What is life without friends? It can be quite lonely. There is some comfort in having spirit by one's side, but that is not the same as having a physical companion with whom to share aspects of life. 1755 - These words are my way of documenting my reality. My hope is that in expressing in this manner I provide a service, a great service to those who find this expression. 1756 - As a wayshower, I demonstrate what spirit expressing in flesh is capable of. But, know that what I can do, you can do also. You are spirit incarnate, here and now. You have always been such and will always be such, despite how much of this you have forgotten. 1757 - You cannot escape what you are. And, what you are is spirit expressing in flesh, pure and simple. 1758 - It would be nice to have some reference points - some others in my life that I could use as sounding boards and as comparison points to see how consciousness expresses through them ... whether this be similar or different than through me. That's what friends are for!

26 September 2003 1759 - Books serve us. They entertain us and they educate us. 1760 - Spiritual economy is very simple. Credit is given when we give, debit when we take. The goal is to go out with a high credit balance. To do this, we need to live good lives, lives of service to ourselves, our families, our society, and our world. 1761 - It seems that Beyond Imagination is ultimately to impact many before its work is done. However, most will not be aware of the impact that Beyond Imagination is having since it is working behind the scenes building the very foundations and fabric out of which the new age society will be built. 1762 - It is not so important who gets credit for the changes to the social fabric that are to come. It is enough that the changes come and that they are instituted and reach as many people as possible.

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1763 - The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. She deserves the lion's share of the credit. Though, we must do our part. Spirit cannot express physically except through us. We have to do the work. We have to manifest the ideas in the world and then take the action to make them more than ideas, to make them a living reality in our world. 1764 - If things are to change, it is up to us to change them. We are responsible for creating the world of our dreams ... but we need to beware of creating the world of our nightmares. 1765 - Reality creation can be a two-edged sword if we are not careful in how we engage in it. That is why it is very important for our motives to be pure. 1766 - Life is too short to waste. We need to make empowering choices. We need to make choices that lead to our happiness.

27 September 2003 1767 - One could do far worse than to have the mysterious as a regular part of ones life. It definitely keeps life interesting. 1768 - We each have our roles to play. It is for us to find what these are and then to play them to the best of our abilities. 1769 - Hmm ... it seems that this includes the "evil" roles as well as the good ones. Are they not playing their parts as well? That is an interesting way of looking at things. Were Hitler and Stalin necessary evils? Were they needed to teach the world particular lessons? And, if so, did we learn those lessons? 1770 - What would I do next? Five simple words of 16 letters. How we answer this question ultimately defines our destiny. 1771 - We do things in the moment. That is the only point in which we have any power. The future is dependent on what we do now. And, we can only impact the future or the past by our actions in the present. 1772 - You could say that I am lucky to have such a relationship with spirit. But, it is not luck. We can all have such relationships. It takes work, but the key is to invite spirit to play an active role in our life. We have to be willing to listen to her and then take action on what she reveals to us. 1773 - We are being prepared for some grand roles in the coming times. Spirit will be able to express in ways that go beyond anything that we have seen manifest before. This is new territory that we are venturing into. This is the grand adventure of consciousness. 1774 - We are entering into some exciting times. Times that will knock our socks off spiritually. 1775 - Our spiritual roles are why we are here. More and more, more of us will realize this ... until the world becomes the conscious expression of spirit in flesh. 1776 - Introversion is only a limitation if you are trying to engage in extroverted behavior. The trick is to couch the problem in terms that the natural traits of introversion can address.

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1777 - We are free to reframe problems in any way that we desire. We don't have to adapt us to the problem at hand. We can adapt the problem at hand to suit us.

29 September 2003 1778 - We planted well this year ... and the harvest has been bountiful. Now, it seems it is time to bring the harvest to market and see what it will yield. That is an interesting way of looking at things ... but it seems an accurate one. 1779 - I have to believe that what I am doing has value ... that what I am doing is worth the effort and resources that I put into it. 1780 - What I do, you can do also. Perhaps not in exactly the same way. And, even if you are good with words, your words will be yours and will be expressed in a style that is unique to you. 1781 - There is a reason that we are all unique individuals. There is something that is to be expressed in all of this. Be whom thou are. Such is the directive of spirit. It is not for us to be as others are but to be as we alone can be. 1782 - We speak with a voice of authority ... yet, where does the authority with which we speak originate? 1783 - More and more, life is becoming the adventure in consciousness that it is meant to be. Though, it should be an adventure in flesh and blood as well. 1784 - We are physical beings after all. Part of our task is to be physical. We just need to find ways to be spiritual even as we are physical. That is not so hard to do. We cannot escape being spiritual ... ever! 1785 - This is not a resignation. Rather, it is a celebration of our nature as spirit in flesh. 1786 - Life itself should be a celebration. It is a tremendous gift that we have been given. It is up to us to make the most of it and find ways to give back something of what we have been given. 1787 - We need to make masterpieces of our lives ... living masterpieces. Given that we are all masters at the art of reality creation, this should be something that is natural for us. Masters create masterpieces. That is simply what they do. However, few of us are conscious masters at much of anything.

30 September 2003 1788 - Who knows what can be accomplished with spirit by our side. 1789 - It is not until the message is delivered to its intended audience that the work becomes outer expression. 1790 - It takes people working together to express synergistic behavior. There is only so much that we can do in isolation from one another.

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1791 - Clearly, I demand a lot from myself. I don't place the same demands on others however. I know what I am capable of ... or at least what I believe that I am capable of. 1792 - My sense is that the reality is that I am far more capable than even I know. This is not true only of me, it is true of all of us. 1793 - When we start believing in ourselves, we can do wonders beyond imagination. 1794 - It all starts with what we believe. What we believe will be what we experience. Effectively, beliefs are like self-fulfilling prophecies. We end up drawing into our reality those things that conform to our beliefs. That is simply how it works. We create our own reality. We always have. We always will. 1795 - If we don't like what we experience the only place to blame is ourselves. We are creating it all, no fine print, no exceptions. That is a tough one to swallow for many. It is far more desirable to be able to blame something or someone else for our troubles. 1796 - My destiny seems intricately tied to the destiny of the world somehow. I've said before that my life is to have world import. I am here to make a difference on a grand scale. Yes, the grandiose thinking is peeking through again. But, what am I to think given whom that I AM and observing what has come forth through me over the past decade?

1 October 2003 1797 - I don't know if there are places people can go to ease the spiritual rebirth process. I would hope that there are, but I have no experience to know one way or the other. 1798 - It will be interesting to see where the energy takes us as the year progresses. The sense is that grand things are in store. We have to either choose to be part of them or get out of the way. 1799 - What we think and feel is picked up and sensed by others around us; perhaps not consciously, but on some level. 1800 - Our souls are not fooled by appearances ... they know the truth! 1801 - There are many things that we are able to do without really knowing how. It is fine for these to remain mysteries, at least for the time being. 1802 - Mysteries stir our souls. They bring a touch of the miraculous into our lives. 1803 - The bottom line is that we don't have to search very far to find the miraculous at work in our lives. Take something as simple as speaking. When we begin a sentence we don't know how we will end it. Yet, most people are able to speak perfectly fine anyway by trusting the process 1804 - The human body and brain are miraculous vehicles for the expression of spirit in flesh. But, much of what they can do lies in potential only, awaiting us to take the steps required to actualize it. 1805 - We are literally on the threshold of a dream. It is a collective dream that has been built from the best ideas that have been expressed over the millennia. It is time for this dream to manifest.

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1806 - I am not satisfied with what I have done to date. I know that there is far more that I could do if I applied myself appropriately. You might say that I set the bar extremely high. Perhaps too high. Though if we don't reach for the stars from time to time, how do we know what we are capable of. 1807 - That is when the magic happens. When each of us does our part, whatever that might be ... everything proceeds according to the plan of consciousness for the greater expression of spirit in flesh. 1808 - We are all special in our own ways. It is for us to develop our natural talents and find ways to use these in service to others, society, and even the world. 1809 - Dream big! That is what dreams are for. Push the envelope wherever you can. Don't be content with the status quo. Use your life to make a statement and make a difference. 1810 - Not everyone is meant to change the world. However, you can have a positive impact in the lives of your family, friends, coworkers, and those whom your life touches. How far this impact stretches is up to you. 1811 - Life is meant to be an adventure ... and an exciting one at that. If such is not your experience, it is high time for a change so that it is.

2 October 2003 1812 - When we challenge ourselves, it is amazing to see what we are able to deliver. 1813 - This expression provides a means for you to follow my thoughts and states of mind for awhile. Hopefully that will allow you to experience states of consciousness that are new and different for you. 1814 - This expression is meant to be mind expanding and consciousness expanding. That is one of the highest goals any expression can have ... to allow us to experience being more than we knew ourselves to be before. 1815 - Here, we have a consciousness revealing its awareness of the reality it experiences in realtime on a regular basis for several hours per day. That makes for an impressive record ... a record that can be shared and used to move others ... a record that can enable others to experience a whole new way of seeing things. 1816 - That is power, the power to make a difference, a real difference in people's lives. But it doesn't happen by just wishing for it to be so. In this case we have to allow consciousness to come forth, we have to capture what she says, and we have to share what we capture. 1817 - Consciousness' ways are mysterious. That is OK, that is what they are meant to be. We may never fathom her depths. 1818 - It takes wisdom to know when to allow versus when to actively work on getting things to manifest. That is part of the art of living. 1819 - It is in the asking of questions that we find the answers that we seek.

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1820 - We just won't know until we have the awareness and the courage to ask. Yes, it takes courage to ask questions. We have to be ready for answers that we may not like.

3 October 2003 1821 - Change is in the air again. A new season is upon us. It seems time to reap some of what we have sown. Though, we leave it is spirits hands as to how this will manifest. 1822 - Spirit will not do for us those things that we can perfectly well do for ourselves. 1823 - We are able beings capable of doing great works. It is up to us to apply ourselves in such a manner as to manifest this. 1824 - We will truly be amazed at what we are able to accomplish ... especially when we allow spirit to work through us. 1825 - As an aware being, it is in the realm of consciousness, not of mind that I dwell. There is a difference, a big difference. 1826 - Our best is always good enough. It helps to realize that people are doing the best with what they have at all times. It is not for us to judge them. We know not what states of consciousness they experience or what reality they face. 1827 - What any of us experience, all of us experience. It is a matter of being able to access that.

4 October 2003 1828 - We need to keep expressing as consciousness would have us express. We can do great things, especially if we choose to work together to do so. 1829 - We are powerful creators, each and every one of us. But, what we can do collectively is truly phenomenal. We have to let go of some of our independence to achieve this. 1830 - Serving as a vessel through which spirit can express in flesh is what I choose to do. Yes, of my own free will. I can't think of any better place to expend my time and energy.

5 October 2003 1831 - Our numbers are growing, that is the numbers of us that believe that we have an active role in creating the reality that we experience. At some point we will reach a critical mass and this will become a predominant worldview. 1832 - Patience, one step at a time. That is the trick to getting to any destination ... take it one step at a time and enjoy the journey along the way.

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1833 - It seems that many of us do not do this. We do not appreciate the incredible beauty and majesty around us. There is so much that is grand and glorious. This very body that we inhabit is a miracle in progress. It's complexity far surpasses anything we can even dream to create. 1834 - We can dream of some wonderful things ... but unless we create works that convey these to others, it is all for naught. 1835 - Actually that is not quite correct. Consciousness herself is a witness to all that we do and all that we think. If a thought can get through once, it is highly likely that it can get through again via another person. It seems that no thought makes it through until there is fertile ground for it. 1836 - Thoughts incite action when such action is necessary. Someone said nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. They were correct. Indeed, ideas can be that powerful. 1837 - I am letting my understanding of my nature limit how I am able to express. Our natures are much more fluid and flexible than this. They are not meant to restrict our expression, rather to enhance and facilitate it. 1838 - It is for us to decide what we will do with our lives. It is for us to make it the masterpiece that it can be. It is for us to make whatever life statements that we choose to make. 1839 - The bottom line is to find a way to make the world a better place for our having lived. We can always do this. Some make a difference in the lives of their family and friends. This is perfectly fine. Others make a difference by moving others. The artists among us fall in this category. Some make a difference by moving the state of our knowledge. In technology, this can yield products and inventions that change our world. Still others make their difference by moving us spiritually. In the end, it is for each of us to find our place in the world, and make the difference that is appropriate for that place. 1840 - Not everyone is destined to change the consensus world. But, all of us are meant to make a difference in our private worlds. 1841 - Small changes in the nearterm can create great differences in time. It is important to be flexible and to do things differently. 1842 - When we continue to do the same things in the same way, we get the same results. That is OK if we are happy and leading the life we would choose to live. However, if we are not, the only way it will change is if we do what it takes to change it. 1843 - That is one of the tricks to life ... to get more you must give more. 1844 - It is giving that primes the abundance pump. In Eastern philosophy they know this. However, in the West, we tend to think of the supply being limited and that we need to compete to take our share or others may take it. 1845 - Giving more than you take creates a surplus. The more that we do this, the bigger the surplus. Then it is a matter of distribution to ensure that people get what they need. 1846 - Simple economics, if we don't ensure that people get what they need, there is unnecessary lack and suffering. Why would we choose to create that?

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1847 - It seems that what we have learned previously is called forth when it is needed in our lives. Our lives build one upon the next to allow us to take on new roles and new challenges ever moving up the scale of awareness. 1848 - In the end, it is the level of awareness that we have reached that matters. This is what we get to keep from one incarnation to the next, though it seems that there is an inheritance that goes along with this. 1849 - We don't just enter with our prior level of awareness. That would make it too confusing to endure the slow growth of the body and the mind. At some point in our life, we awaken to whom that we are. 1850 - Actually, many seem to go through life without ever doing this. Perhaps that is because there level of awareness is already in line with what they are manifesting. 1851 - Collectively we are growing into a body for Cosmic Consciousness to inhabit. The organizations that we create are the organs and limbs of that body.

6 October 2003 1852 - It seems that so long as I will allow her to speak through me, consciousness will have something to say. 1853 - I accept what spirit has in store for my life. It is not necessary for me to live as I prefer. What matters is what spirit would have me do. 1854 - In the end, it is consciousness that matters. Yet, much of what states of consciousness we reach is demonstrated by what we do and how we do it. 1855 - Consciousness is as consciousness does. The goal is to become ever more aware and to express this increased awareness in all that we do. This is how we live as the expression of spirit in flesh. This is how we stay true to whom that we are. 1856 - With the appropriate awareness we can achieve all things because it is ultimately spirit doing the work through us. 1857 - Of our own, what we can do is limited. But, spirit has no such limitations. Her limits come from how freely we allow her to express through us to do her works. 1858 - Spirit won't force her way into our lives. It is up to us to invite her to become an active force in our life. 1859 - The time is ripe for change. We truly live during a wonderful time in the history or the world and the planet. It will be interesting to see what challenges we attract into our reality and how we deal with those challenges. 1860 - The reward for doing what we love to do is unlimited abundance, all that we need will be made available to us. But, we must do the work first.

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1861 - Be grateful for what you have. Unless we are appreciative of all that we have been given, there is no room to receive more in our life. 1862 - People are incredible creations that have the ability to do even more incredible things. Why am I not as fascinated by them as I am by nature? 1863 - Reality creation is an art. It is a process that we go through to manifest the things that we experience. We are all good at it. Though, most of this is still done at other than conscious levels.

7 October 2003 1864 - Consciousness takes us into new realms where we are able to explore aspects of ourselves and of the world that we never knew. It is an amazing process. 1865 - At times it is useful to take in feedback from others. It is also helpful for us to give feedback to the world in which we live. 1866 - Things will get better when we band together and do the things necessary to make them better. That is how reality creation works. It is up to us to do what is necessary to manifest what we want to experience. 1867 - Spirit herself is also my employer. What do I owe to her? She is responsible for bringing forth millions of words into manifestation through this vehicle in just over ten years. What is that worth? How do I repay her for all of this? 1868 - These words have the potential to help awaken others. In doing so, much good can be unleashed do to the nature of the works that these awakened souls will do. 1869 - How do we know if we are becoming more aware? In my experience, there is an inner recognition that something wonderful has changed, that we are no longer what we formerly thought ourselves to be. We are more, much more ... we are spirit manifest. 1870 - We are all riding on one big spaceship ... that beautiful jewel that we call earth. My sense is that few realize this. And further, fewer still do something with this realization.

8 October 2003 1871 - Every day is a gift from consciousness. It is for us to find a way to use this gift in a manner that serves others in our world. For introverts, this can be a challenge. 1872 - How do we live in a manner that our life positively impacts all of those whom we touch? That is indeed the goal for living right. 1873 - We are meant to make a difference in our world. We have the power to do that. It is a matter of applying ourselves in a way that makes optimal use of our talents. 1874 - Spirit expects from us our very best. But, we cannot deliver that unless we expect it of us as well. We need to demand our very best. However, we need to be careful to not overdo it. Good enough is good 213

enough. There is a point of diminishing returns ... a point where the effort to improve the result is not worth the added value generated. 1875 - Selling 40 hours per week to make a living does not seem right somehow. Though, I would gladly put in 60 hours per week towards spiritual work in exchange for abundance. 1876 - I'm effectively willing to give my life to the expression of spirit. How do I get her to employ me in this manner? 1877 - I know that no resources are wasted. We learn the things that we need to learn to carry out our missions in accord with our destiny. 1878 - Spirit has a timing for things that is beyond our comprehension. 1879 - What about creating our own reality? Yes, we can do that. But, when we do we are responsible for what gets created. 1880 - When we allow what spirit would create in our life, we are still responsible but we have the force of spirit behind what we are experiencing. 1881 - When we resign ourselves actively to our destiny, the universe meets us and supplies to us all that is needed to carry out our mission. We only have to believe that this is so ... and then follow through and take the necessary action in line with this. 1882 - Did not our founding fathers call the pursuit of happiness one of our inalienable rights? It is interesting that they did not say achieving happiness was a right, only the pursuit thereof.

9 October 2003 1883 - These are the footsteps or mindsteps that I leave for those who choose to follow my path. Clearly, it is a path ... it is not the path. Follow it so long as it interests you and so long as you are able to grow from the experience. 1884 - Don't underestimate the importance of feeling and of direct knowing. There will be things that you just know even though there is no logical explanation as to how. Try to go with that knowingness when you can. It will definitely make your life flow more smoothly. 1885 - What comes forth from consciousness is amazing to behold. The expression constantly challenges what I know myself to be and what I believe about reality and reality creation. 1886 - Each of us have our parts and roles to play. Each will present its challenges and its rewards. It is for us to seek and find those things that we are meant to do. 1887 - The very universe is conspiring to ensure that we succeed in this. However, the universe responds to the actions that we take. If we are silent, if we do nothing, the universe matches our efforts in kind. 1888 - The key is to actively pursue our dreams of who we can be and what we can do. Appreciate, but never be satisfied with what is. There are always things that can be done to make it better. Don't just think about what might be ... do something that helps to make it so. 214

1889 - Many don't have the follow through to do whatever it takes. However, that is what distinguishes those who succeed in manifesting what they desire from those who don't. It is our actions that determine what we get in life. 1890 - The greatest things that we can do are those things that serve not only ourselves but serve others. It is service that matters. The more service the better. The universe ensures that no service goes unrecognized or unrewarded. 1891 - I can't tell what passages will trigger altered states of consciousness and changes in levels of awareness. But, I know that the material as a whole has the power to do this. That makes it worth something. That makes it worth every minute and every dime that I have invested in it. 1892 - If this communication is an example of what can come from being crazy, then perhaps more of us should give ourselves permission to be a little crazy. 1893 - Everything comes down to actions. What are we willing to do to effect change in our lives and in the world? It is not enough to think something. Though thoughts do have their value and are powerful. We must take action in accord with what we believe to effect the change that we desire to see. 1894 - Consciousness is the key. Where we allow our consciousness to take us ultimately determines what reality we will experience. 1895 - Consciousness is everything. Consciousness spawns all expression. She is the source of what you see here. But she is also the source of what you experience hour by hour and day by day.

10 October 2003 1896 - Being of service to the world is extremely important to me. My life must make a meaningful difference. It must contribute to the betterment of society in some way. This is true to some degree for all of us ... but clearly for some more than others. 1897 - The bottom line is to do what feels right for you. You will know what this is. It will call to your soul. And, when you are doing it, it will animate you as nothing else does. 1898 - We can always hope. We can always dream. The journey to a better tomorrow starts with the step we take here and now. 1899 - We are spirit incarnate. It is useful to remember that and to act appropriately. 1900 - There is so much that we can do. There are so many areas where improvements are needed. All it takes is resources and talent. 1901 - We haven't established a contract between the collective and individuals that explicitly spells out who is responsible for what. Until we do this, there will be such people that fall through the cracks of our economic system. From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.

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1902 - It is that simple. Many won't like the fact that it is one of the key tenets of communism. However, it has never been achieved. If it had we wouldn't see communist economies crumble as we have. 11 October 2003 1903 - We are engaged in the dance of consciousness. And, what an elaborate dance it is. Yet, it is one that we know innately. 1904 - This expression is the one thing that I believe will remain long after I am gone. I can hope that will be the case anyway. Though it seems that I will need some sort of organization to be responsible for keeping the information alive and available to those meant to be moved by it. 1905 - To whom much is given, much is expected. 1906 - If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big. Who knows, you just may achieve what you set out to do. 1907 - It is amazing how the universe works. When we declare our intentions with all of our heart and soul, an army of helpers comes to our aid. 1908 - Who does it serve and how does it serve them? This is one question that we should ask often. For all the work we do, this question applies. If it doesn't serve anyone, then why are we doing it? If it doesn't serve anyone, we are wasting our time. 1909 - In evaluating our endeavors, we need to make sure that we consider all those who are impacted. Sometimes it is not obvious who benefits from something. However, if we think about it and give our intuition voice, we will see who is served and who is not served. 1910 - Life is the expression of consciousness to me. If I am not expressing, I am not truly living. 1911 - What good is the written word without an audience to read it? And, where do I find such an audience.

12 October 2003 1912 - Consciousness is illusive. She comes and goes as she will. She will not be bound or restricted. 1913 - Each of us experience exactly what we need to experience. 1914 - Life is about varieties of experience. 1915 - Human life is primarily differentiated by consciousness. We are aware of being alive. Some of us are aware of being aware ... though this seems to take an awakening. 1916 - Life itself is a mystery ... it is meant to have mysteries. That is part of its attraction. We live in a miraculous realm, we truly do. It is important for us to see that ... really see that. Otherwise, we miss out on some of the most special moments and experiences in life.

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13 October 2003 1917 - For things to happen in our life, we have to believe that they are possible and we have to believe that we are deserving of them. This later point is extremely important. 1918 - We will not allow ourselves to receive anything more than we believe that we are worth. This is one of the fundamental spiritual laws of economics. 1919 - We need to be giving more than we receive. We do that by being all that we can be and doing what we are moved by spirit to do. 1920 - We have no means of assigning ownership to spirit herself. It is through us that spirit expresses and experiences life in physical form. She has no need for the possessions of this world. But, there is nothing wrong with us reaching any particular level of abundance that we choose. 1921 - Unless we are grateful for it, we don't really have it. That is, it doesn't hold a place in our hearts. Gratitude is a very important attitude. 1922 - It is important that we realize this and apply it ... thanking spirit regularly for all that we have in our lives, and even for the gift of being alive. 1923 - Yes, life is a very precious gift. It is not something to be squandered. It is the gift that needs to keep on giving in order to stay alive and to manifest abundantly. 1924 - All limitations are self-imposed. It is for us to choose the limitations that we are willing to live with. We can always choose to overcome these and become more free at any time. However, this requires awareness. 1925 - If we are not aware that we are imprisoned and enchained, we have no sense that we need to work to remove the shackles that bind us. 1926 - Yet, all of us have our shackles ... some more than others. Most are content with living within them. In fact, many bear them gladly, unaware that they are shackles at all. 1927 - Hmm ... do organizations experience reality in a similar fashion? Are they bound by shackles as well? 1928 - We have the power to create far more potent organizations that we have created to date. It takes work however. It does not simply happen. 1929 - What matters in the moment is what we do here and now. Ultimately, the moment is where we have power. It is the only place where we can do anything. And, it is in the doing of things that we effect change in the world. 1930 - Our life is meant to make a difference. But, it will only do so if we make it do so. That means we have to be more than a spectator. We have to do things. We have to share of whom that we are.

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1931 - We are to be the instruments through which spirit expresses. What happens after that is in spirits hands. 1932 - Everything in our lives is the expression of spirit in flesh. 1933 - Responsibility can be a very good thing. It can give us power in that area of our lives ... in some cases, great power. 1934 - Being responsible means that the buck stops here as the saying goes. Any blame gets levied on ourselves. Though any credit gets levied there as well. 1935 - We are responsible for all that we experience. We choose it all. No fine print, no exceptions. 1936 - Spirit is an active force, a guiding force in my life. I would have it no other way. 1937 - Knowing is not something that is to be questioned. Some things you just know. 1938 - We can think a lot of things that we don't really believe and we can believe a lot of things that we don't really know. 1939 - If we truly know something, there is no room for belief ... it is already truth for us. 1940 - Whether it is territory, or ideas, or realms of consciousness ... the unknown always offers its riches. It is but for us to find practical ways to use what we find. 1941 - We are all spiritual beings at heart in the midst of a physical experience. However, too many focus on being physical and lose sight of their ultimate nature.

15 October 2003 1942 - What is metaphysics? To me it is the study of the nature of consciousness, the nature of being, the nature of reality, the nature of spirit, and how all of these manifest in our lives. 1943 - There is an observer part to our consciousness that watches everything that we do. It doesn't necessarily judge. It simply observes. 1944 - It takes self work to establish the inner connection. And then it takes courage to be all that we can be while executing what spirit would more us to do. 1945 - Yes, it takes courage to live a life of spirit. Perhaps that is part of the reason I call this particular expression the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. Yet, it seems that our major battle is with the self and its ways of perceiving the world. 1946 - It is not clear that this battle ever ends. It is the constant challenge of being an aware spiritual being. 1947 - Ultimately, making a positive difference is what really matters. The bigger the difference the better.

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1948 - The world should be a better place for our having lived. But, it will only be so if we do what it takes to make it so. 1949 - We have to want to make a difference. We have to believe that we can make a difference. And, we have to do what it takes to make that difference. 1950 - One way to make a difference is to help those in need who ask for our help. There is a reason that they are asking, and in particular asking us. 1951 - Sharing is how we make a difference in each others life.

16 October 2003 1952 - The expression of spirit in flesh is what life is all about. We are integral parts of the evolution of that expression. It is through us that spirit speaks and does her work in the world. 1953 - We are spirit enfleshed here and now. We have always been and will always be. 1954 - We are creating the very world in which we exist. However, blinders will not necessarily work to remove those elements that we do not want to see. 1955 - Complex systems operate somewhere on the continuum between order and chaos. Too much order and there is insufficient ability to adapt to changes. Too much chaos, and there is not enough structure to give form to our manifestations. 1956 - Life itself is a complex system that exists on this continuum. 1957 - The fate of the world lies in our hands. Yes, it is grandiose of me to believe that. But if we are going to make a difference in the world, we need to take responsibility and do it. 1958 - Life unfolds miraculously before us. 1959 - Spirit animates all life. 1960 - We all live in a spiritual world. That world is embedded in the symbol systems that permeate the physical world and our knowledge about that world. 1961 - Often symbol systems operate on multiple levels. The most important meanings are often hidden ... and may not be related at all to the common meaning. 1962 - Wherever we invest our attention and energy, our world grows. 1963 - Our beliefs are our primary means of making the choice as to how we will invest ourselves. They determine what we want to see and ultimately what we manifest as our reality. 1964 - I don't believe that there is anything that is the reality. From what I can tell, reality is the subjective phenomenon that an aware being experiences.

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1965 - There is no objective reality. That is why science doesn't ultimately lead us to spiritual truth. That does not mean that it doesn't have it's place. 1966 - Science and its cousin Technology have allowed us to create many wonders in our world and come to an understanding of many things. 1967 - However, it will never be able to tell us the meaning of life, or the purpose of any individual life. For this we must appeal to other domains and other disciplines. 1968 - Do we really know how our eyes see or how our ears hear or how our mind thinks, or how our intuition intuits? 1970 - Do we know how consciousness expresses in us? Do we know what constitutes awareness? Do we know how spirit touches us and infuses us with life? 1971 - How can we think about being deserving of more if we aren't grateful for what we have? There is always something to be grateful for. Most of us will find that there is much to be grateful for, far more than we had thought. 1972 - Just being alive is a miracle. Being healthy is another. Living in a free country is another. Having the opportunity to be who we choose to be is another. Enjoying the fruits of a free enterprise economy is another. There are so many things to be grateful for. 1973 - We are constantly creating what we believe that we deserve in our life.

17 October 2003 1974 - We are free to believe whatsoever we choose. Ultimately, the true test for beliefs is utility. Do they empower us and help us to lead a better life ... including having a positive impact on all those whom we touch? 1975 - Where do we go to find the guideposts that others have left in the wilderness of consciousness? 1976 - There is no one way. There are many paths available to follow. It is for us to find the path(s) that are right for us, or to blaze new ones if necessary.

18 October 2003 1977 - We experience what we need to experience when we need to experience it. 1978 - There is nothing that we can do to force things to happen before their time. However, it seems that we can do things that delay when things happen in our lives ... or perhaps even prevent them from happening. Destiny is somewhat open ended. It is dependent on our choices to play itself out. 1979 - We truly do create our reality. It is within our power to make our lives a living hell or a heaven on earth or anything in between.

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1980 - Our beliefs are our way of informing our self as to what we would like to see in our reality. They include beliefs about self worth and what we are worthy of receiving. They include beliefs about what is important and what is not important. They include beliefs about the nature of reality and how it is created. 1981 - It seems that I make spirit responsible for everything. However I take full responsibility for what I allow spirit to do through me. So, there is personal responsibility as well. I'm not trying to get away with anything. I'm just doing the best with what I've got. 1982 - In over seventeen years of formal schooling through an MSEE from Stanford, I don't remember even once discussing or covering awareness. How can our education system claim to be educating us if it fails to include something so fundamental? 1983 - If we follow the dictum to Know Thyself, nearly the first thing we encounter on the path is that we are an aware being with a consciousness only part of which we are directly aware. In fact, it is difficult to tell whether the known or the unknown is the greater part of existence. I would offer it is the unknown. 1984 - The relationship of the known to the unknown is similar to that between the part of an iceberg above water versus below water.

19 October 2003 1985 - Someone asked whether these writings are channeled or automatic. I don't know that they are channeled. I don't sense them to be coming from an "entity" other than me. However they do come forth automatically from something that I label as "source". 1986 - We each have our pieces of the puzzle to share. Together we can create something magnificent. We can bring forth a spiritual vibration that literally changes the world ... big time.

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1987 - The blank page doesn't criticize. It openly accepts all that I would care to express. 1988 - Will the material ultimately impact many? That we will see in the months and years ahead. It will impact who it is meant to impact ... and they in turn will impact others. And, in the end the whole world will awaken. 1989 - I liken the process to an instrument being played by a master musician. My mind is the instrument, spirit is the musician. My awareness experiences the music that spirit is able to evoke through the instrument. 1990 - Further, and perhaps even more importantly ... my awareness witnesses the process. In doing so, I know that I am not doing it all, not consciously anyway. There is a mystery involved in how all of this works. The process is magical. It is not meant to be explained, it is meant to be experienced.

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1991 - We are spirit enfleshed already. We have been for so long as we have been incarnate. Though, it seems that few are truly in touch with the spiritual aspect of themselves.

21 October 2003 1992 - There is nothing that says that your life's work will also be your means of earning a living. Though, it would sure be nice if it were. 1993 - At some point what matters is how we impact others. I can impact others through my words and through my presence. 1994 - The march toward a better future starts with the changes that we make here and now in the present moment. 1995 - If we really want something, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it. As a spiritually focused being, this will be consistent with whom that I am.

22 October 2003 1996 - One can do far worse that to serve spirit. Ultimately, this is the one choice which matters most. Though serving spirit by serving others is something that we must do in our own way. This is the highest endeavor that we can engage in. It requires that which is grandest within us. 1997 - How can an outnumbered force overcome a much greater force? The trick comes from the synergy involved when a focused group is formed. When the time is right, the spiritual force will be unleashed and nothing in its way will be able to stop it. 1998 - Ultimately it is what we share that is of utility to others that matters most. 1999 - That is how we make progress in any area of endeavor ... we share. We share of whom that we are, we share of what we know, we share of what we have experienced ... as much as we can. 2000 - Good choices are those that benefit ourselves and others. 2001 - It is very important that we consider the impact on others in our decisions. The best decisions are those that support both the individual and the collective. 2002 - There is the potential for synergy to arise in groups. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to arise very often yet. 2003 - The guidance remains: do as you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. 2004 - Cooperative interdependence is the way of the future. It is time that we start to make it the way of the now, too.

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2005 - Spirit knows how best to utilize all of the resources that she is given. She doesn't take, however. She waits for us to volunteer our services. 2006 - To play in this game we must cooperate and volunteer to serve. These are high level behaviors that many do not appear ready to adopt. That is OK. We only need enough to keep the plan of spirit unfolding in the world. 2007 - Time marches ever onward, and with it comes the need to do things that matter, things that make a difference in the lives of others and in the world. 2008 - This doesn't happen by accident, it happens by deliberate choice on our part. It is for us to choose what we will do. Note, I did not say plan ... though many need to do that as well. 2009 - We create reality by what we choose to do, not what we plan to do. In the end, it is what we do that makes the difference. 2010 - I can play with my beliefs. I can believe them or not believe them as I will and experience reality in accord with my choices. Knowingness is not like that. It does not involve choice. 2011 - It is far better if we base our lives and our choices on truth. There is plenty of room for beliefs in our life. We don't have to use them in ways that are ineffective or counterproductive.

24 October 2003 2012 - Being in pain is definitely not good for the soul. 2013 - Physical health is important to spiritual well-being. While we are incarnate, we cannot escape being physical. Nor is it desired that we do so. 2014 - In consciousness, we are free to go where we will despite the restrictions of the physical. However, there is something to be said about being in the body too. 2015 - For so long, I have simply overlooked it (the physical) ... considering it to be a poor stepchild to the spiritual. But, we are spirit in flesh ... and we are enfleshed for a reason, primarily because that is the only way to be incarnate and experience the great gift of physical life.

25 October 2003 2016 - Awareness is a one way thing. One is either aware of not. And, if you are, it is obvious. If you have to think about it ... you are not. 2017 - Awareness is not a mind thing, it is a consciousness thing. You have to go beyond mind to reach it. 2018 - Consciousness is everything. Consciousness is how spirit interfaces with us. 2019 - We are consciousness in flesh, first and foremost. It helps if we keep that in mind.

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2020 - Life is a process of continually realizing more and more. However, it seems that many people are not really engaged in the process. They have gotten stuck in their ways and have stopped growing. 2021 - For me, to stop growing is to die. You might think this to be true universally ... but it doesn't appear to be. There are many who are happy to just enjoy life and be who they have become.

26 October 2003 2022 - Mastership will come in due time if we are diligent in our practice. Though, it is important that we are practicing the right things. 2023 - The journey is everything. The may be times when we are focused on arriving at some destination. But the destination is just a point in time and space. 2024 - Most of our life is spent in transit, in the journey. Correspondingly, we should place most of our attention there. 2025 - Life is about being where we are. That doesn't mean we should neglect getting where we would prefer to be. In fact, getting there requires taking action in the moment.

27 October 2003 2026 - There is always sufficient time to do what needs to be done. That doesn't mean there is necessarily much excess, so we need to be careful how we use it. 2027 - What we earnestly seek, we eventually find. That is one of the laws of the universe. 2028 - There is something about the process of gravitating to ones destiny that is the same as the process of a star gravitating to its place in the heavens. 2029 - Just being a group does not necessarily lead to increased productivity or utility of output. It takes work to make this happen. It takes work to draw out the synergy that is present in group endeavors. 2030 - We need to be careful about what limits we accept. Further, we need to realize that there is nothing forcing us to accept them. We can be as free as we choose to be.

28 October 2003 2031 - To create your reality consciously you have to want to create something ... you have to be heavily attached to a desired outcome. I've been reluctant to do that. 2032 - I've been careful not to push my way upon the world. The one primary exception is this expression. Though even here I share in a manner that does not really push. 2033 - Yet, at some point are we not evolved enough so that my will and Thy Will are one? At that point, why do I force spirit to continue to do what I can do perfectly well on my own? 224

2034 - We don't have to accept whatever would be. We can choose to make a masterpiece of our lives and in the process inspire others to do the same. 2035 - Each of us has our place in the scheme of things. If we allow ourselves to, we will gravitate there naturally. 2036 - I've learned to become wary of being attached to outcomes. Things may or may turn out as we picture that they will. There are a lot of factors involved. Sometimes, it seems that it is best to just leave it up to spirit. 2037 - The process of expressing is very different from that of thinking. Consciousness expresses ... the mind thinks. Consciousness knows, the mind only thinks that it knows. 2038 - Consciousness is aware ... the mind is stuck in its mechanicalness, unaware of the nature of spirit. .

29 October 2003 Hmm ... I just got a sense that included a strong shiver in my neck and head, 2004 is to be about finding my place in the world. That feels right. We can choose to live in a world that provides the feedback we need to be able to see our impact directly. Such a world already exists. We don't even have to create it. We only need to choose to live in it. However, what we expect from the world we need to be willing to give in kind. It is our actions after all that collectively create the feedback within this world. Spirit works through us. That is the only way she can manifest anything in the physical. It is up to us to be receptive to what she would express through us, and then to do it. What would I do next? What do I want to do in the twenty-five years that I believe to be the rest of my life? What would I do differently? How would I express differently? I can see how people would have a difficult time getting to know me. They can see how I work. But, seeing who I am is a very different thing. However, the laws of compensation say that each action will be compensated in accord with its worth.

30 October 2003 I need feedback and interaction with others to provide a mirror for what I am doing. It is not enough that all of this impacts me. I need to see how it impacts others. My natural tendency is to lead, not to follow. I am the type to figure out what needs to be done and who might best do the various things that need to be done.

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I will do what I am moved by spirit to do to the best of my abilities. How the universe responds to what is expressed through me is out of my hands for the most part. We are free to belief whatsoever we choose. It helps if our beliefs are of utility and empower us. We are far more powerful than most of us know. This is especially true if we've taken the time to establish a relationship with the spiritual source that drives us. Spirit is not a mental phenomena. Awareness is not a mental process. We can be aware of the functioning of our mental faculties. Awareness is above and beyond this. It lies in a different dimension ... a spiritual dimension. The mass consciousness learns from everything that any individual learns. Further, it is not limited to conscious learning. It knows what is happening subconsciously and superconsciously as well. Extroverts deal directly with the world as does the outer part of the body. Introverts experience things very differently. They rely far more on intuition and inner feelings to guide their actions. They have a direct knowingness, a wisdom that comes from being connected to a source within.

31 October 2003 I'm curious as to what the universe is going to do now that I've done my part and published the Beyond Imagination books. How do we invite people to our world? And, how do we get them to choose to be part of creating a community? Yes, that is one of my toughest challenges. How does a loner engage the world ... and do so in a big way? Alone, there are so many people that I can touch. But if those I touch in turn touch others who touch others ... the numbers can grow very quickly. Sharing. That's what it's all about. Sharing what we know. Sharing who we are. We may think that we retain power by hoarding information and keeping things secret. But, those who are truly powerful know that the key is to freely share. As spirit in flesh, we are wise beyond all years. We just need to get in touch with our innate wisdom. We can live a life of spirit. It is not difficult to do. However, it takes dedication and discipline. We have to want to do it. We have to be willing to make choices consistent with living such a life. One such choice is to be the best that we can be at all times. We know when we are doing this. We cannot fool ourselves.

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One thing this expression has taught me is to take things one day at a time and trust that if we take care of the moment properly, then the future will take care of itself. It is amazing how much creativity can be unleashed in the moment. Further, it is amazing what we can do if we just do it. Too many people have excuses for not taking action ... for not expressing themselves ... for not being all that they can be. However, this is a choice that we make in the moment. Further, we can only make it in the moment. The difference we make in our lives and in the world happens because of what we choose to do ... not because of what we choose to think or even believe. We must be willing to take action in accord with what we believe. That is what confirms that we are serious. Otherwise, we are only paying lip service. Being alone most of the time is not necessarily the best way to live ones life. Then again, I'm a solitary person ... a hermit by nature. Or, am I? What I have experienced to date is not necessarily what I am, especially since fear issues have been involved. We create the circumstances that we face in life. We bring them into our lives primarily by what we believe. We are spirit expressing in flesh, spirit having a physical experience. There is a purpose for this. There is something being gained by all of this expression. The purpose is spiritual however; and many, including most of those involved in science, do not relate. We live in a spiritual world. More and more this will become apparent, so much so that even scientists and engineers won't be able to ignore it.

2 November 2003 Consciousness does indeed come through and she is an original character. There is nothing like her as far as I can tell. I would be whom that I am and no other. I would do as I am moved by spirit to do when she so moves me. You can't expect to be told everything. You have a brain. Some things you are meant to figure out yourself. Consciousness doesn't tell us everything. It seems that some things we have no need to know. And consciousness definitely doesn't do everything for us ... though there is a lot that she can express through us if we allow her to. We are the instruments through which consciousness expresses. It helps to be the grandest instrument that we can be.

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Do something to make a positive difference in others lives and in the world. Find a way to make a difference. In the long run that is ultimately what counts. When we have long since returned dust to dust ... it will be the differences that we have made that will remain. Some of these will remain only in the minds and hearts of those we touch. But others will be recorded as historic events. I'm still anxious to see whether the books have started to sell. Though, whether they have or not, I still stand by my decision to publish them. If they are meant to sell ... they will. I just need to do what I can to facilitate getting the word out. The books stand on their own. At some point, enough is enough. We have to accept that. Though, most of us will find what we are capable is far more than we believed possible. We are grand beings. We need to realize that and act as if we truly believed it. Too many of us limit who we are and what we express as a result. However, all of these limits are selfimposed. We can choose to change such limits. Beliefs are our springboards to a new life if only we use them as such. They are powerful tools for reality creation.

3 November 2003 The book covers suggest just that, a redshift ... a shift to red, a shift to the heart. The social infrastructure needs to reform into something supportive that enables people to be all that they can be and that encourages them to express fully for the good of themselves and others. We need to measure our actions and policies as a society by what they do to the collective as well as to individuals. We need to spice things up on occasion. We do that by changing our habitual patterns of expression. In many ways, it seems that my life is about destiny unfolding. It just happens. I just allow it to happen. Consciousness continues to express and create as she will ... and I am ever amazed. It is not for me to focus on outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. I can only do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.

4 November 2003 What makes me unique and different is how freely and openly I share information that many might consider too personal. I do it as an example of the level of sharing that I would like to see in society.

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As the generator of the expression it is my job to see that it gets to whom it is meant to touch. How do I reach more people? What do I need to do to open this up by orders of magnitude? Am I ready for the increase in correspondence that this will bring into my life? Choice and free will are interesting phenomena. It seems that the further that we go on the spiritual path, the more automatic our choices become. We find there is only one right choice for us and that that choice is obvious. Mysteries are good. They humble us. They leave us in awe of the power of spirit operating in our lives and our world. That is all that can be expected of us ... to do our best. Spirit demands no more and no less. Though, she is lenient even when we don't live up to our own highest standards. We need to accept people for who they are and we need to allow them to be whom that they are. It is not our place to change them. Though, we can offer guidance as we share of whom that we are. Sharing is extremely important. It allows us to learn from one another and benefit from each others experience. We are all going through this collective experience of living together. It doesn't matter how separate or individual we experience things. At some level, we melt into the collective from which we were spawned. We always remain intricately linked into the collective. Sometimes we are even consciously aware of the connection.

5 November 2003 Feedback is highly important but seldom provided for the things that we do ... especially the most important things. It seems that is just the way that life is. I would not live my life as others live theirs. I am a unique manifestation of the one, of consciousness herself. I would be true to whom that I AM. We are ever risking losing ourself. But that is not such an awful thing to lose. For, it is only through losing our self that we find our greater Self. It would be nice to be able to compare experiences ... not to measure one against another, but to see the spectrum of experiences and some of the similarities and differences. We need to watch against anything that is considered to be the way rather than a way. Where do we go to share? ... to share our experiences? ... to share our knowingness? ... to share our awareness? ... to share whom that we are? After all, that is what life is ultimately all about ... sharing! It is not what we possess that counts. It is what we give, especially of ourselves. How can I expect others to create masterpieces of their lives unless I show them that it is indeed possible? 229

6 November 2003 I am moved to reach people and to impact them in a meaningful way. I have a strong need to make a difference in peoples lives and on a larger scale to the whole world. I live my life one step at a time. After each step, it becomes apparent what the next step will be. My life is primarily about the expression of spirit in flesh. That is to the degree that one who has effectively isolated himself from society can so express. Fate. I strongly believe that there is a destiny for each of us and that fate will take us to that destiny one way or another. It helps if we cooperate. But, we will get there even if we choose to fight it. Beliefs are the garden through which we grow our reality. They filter what we see and what we experience. Many people have not tended to their gardens hence they have extensive weeds. Unfortunately, unlike with our gardens at home ... we can't hire someone to pull the weeds. In 21 plus years of formal education through a Masters degree, never once do I remember beliefs and belief systems being addressed. Reality creation was never mentioned either. Yet, in metaphysics ... the fact that we create our own reality through our beliefs is nearly self-evident. I would serve spirit directly. She commands my interest and my attention. Her will is my will. It has been for some time. Awareness is an illusive quality. It is something that we must pay attention to or we lose sight of it. Sometimes it can be difficult getting it back. It helps to learn and develop techniques that get us beyond the limits of our mind and our ego. When we get good, we can be aware whenever we choose to ... and to some degree, remain aware at all times.

7 November 2003 Life is about stretching beyond our comfort zones to do things greater than we thought possible for us. What we have done is not enough. There is always more than we can do. This will be true so long as we are alive. There is no resting on what we have accomplished. There is always the next thing on our path, whatever that might be. That doesn't mean that we can't stop and enjoy the process. In fact, we should do so often. To do great things in the world we need to come from a mindset and a reality of abundance.

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This expression is always a surprise. I never know what to expect from one paragraph or even one sentence to the next. Relationships are built slowly over time. Friendships are a special type of relationships that are even more rare. What would I do next? Those five words ever haunt me. It is not what we would think next, or what we would believe next ... it is what we would do next that is important.

9 November 2003 There is definitely something to be said for mental labor. For one thing, it pays better. However, spiritual labor should pay even better. Being outgoing is natural behavior for everyone unless it is blocked for some reason. Remove the blocks and you release yourself to operate in new ways that are just as natural as your current ones. Abundance is the compensation for spiritual work. Here we are talking about abundance on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.

10 November 2003 What happens, happens. The meaning that we assign to it determines how we experience it. Some people see the exact same challenges as blessings or curses. It is all a matter of perspective. Sometimes we don't know if we can create something until we try. We have resources beyond our imagining. We are souls enfleshed. As such, we are all mighty beings ... no, almighty beings. Yes, literally godstuff. Our fears however hold us back from being all that we can be and expressing what we are capable of expressing. Love and fear ... these are the choices that are ours to make at any time. Do we allow ourselves to be loving or do we come from fear and limit ourselves needlessly? All pain and suffering arises out of fear. It takes love to heal it ... and to heal the world in the process. The more love expressed, the better everything becomes. That is how we further enable spirit to express through us ... we transcend our fears and express love for all those our lives touch. The stream of consciousness can ramble on at times. But usually, even then it offers its pearls of wisdom. There have been many pearls and other precious gems over the years.

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9 November 2003 What happens happens. We have no right to be attached to outcomes. They don't serve anyone, and they are not ours to guarantee. There is an unseen hand at play in our lives that is able to determine outcomes. We have to find a way to live with them, and if possible, to be happy anyway. That is the key to a successful life. Find a way to be happy anyway, despite what happens in life. When we can do this, we are truly free. Circumstances may impact us, but don't move us from our center.

12 November 2003 Building the foundations for spirit to more fully express in flesh is a big job. It seems that it will require many people to cooperate to accomplish it. Perhaps the seed ideas can start with as few as one person. But, we need to go beyond ideas. We need to base our actions on these seeds and do things to build a new world from the foundations up. We need to take better care of one another. At some level we are ONE. There is no separation. We need to come from that level when we stretch our arms out to our fellow beings. We live in a world of abundance. And, there are things that we can do to greatly increase that abundance. Along with that, we need to fairly share what is generated. When we collectively fail to meet needs, we create problems in society. When we allow people to exist below poverty levels, we as a society are failing in our collective responsibility. The bottom line is that the Aquarian age is dawning and this will result in dramatic changes in how spirit is able to express in the world. We live on ONE world, ONE spaceship Earth. The political boundaries are just lines on a map, invisible from above the Earth in space. "Imagine all the people ... sharing all the world." This line from John Lennon's song Imagine comes from the right vision. Take it one day at a time trusting that your liberation is indeed forthcoming. It may not be immediate. But, opportunities will present themselves and you will be designing the life that you want to live. That is what reality creation is all about. The highest art of its expression would be to create a masterpiece of your life. No effort is in vain. It is all recognized. It all creates a force in the world that will ultimately return unto itself. The timeframe for the return is still relatively slow in the world ... but it is speeding up. My life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to unfold. The majestic oak is contained within the seed of the acorn. My destiny is contained within the seeds of my being as well. And I will naturally grow into what I must become. Everything is godstuff, everything is spirit, everything is animate. 232

13 November 2003 The bottom line is that I don't necessarily have to draw people to the works. Consciousness knows what they contain and where they are and is perfectly able to move those who need to find them to the expression. Once one gets the wake up call into greater awareness, there is no going back. This is a one way trip of the light switch. What was dim and dark is now clear and light. The shadows have vanished to return no more ... until we find an even greater light source that is. What is destined will manifest. It is only a matter of time. All that I have to do is to facilitate it happening. Many questions, but where are the answers? Within, of course. That is where all such answers lie. We are all spirit incarnate. We are all divine beings. We are all godstuff. It doesn't matter what we know. It doesn't matter what level of awareness we have reached. It doesn't matter what lessons we have learned or not learned. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. We are all equal before god. We are all souls. We don't say that a first grader is any less than a twelfth grader. They are in the midst of different experiences and different lessons ... but each is in their rightful place. With souls, there is no less than or no greater then. We will all realize whom that we are eventually. How long that takes in time is irrelevant. What is expected is that we behave in accord with our knowingness and our awareness.

14 November 2003 There is a source within each of us ... our link to our higher self which knows things far beyond what our egos will recognize. Our egos are meant to be tools, not masters. They have a function of interpreting physical reality. We are distinct individuals. We want to somehow be better and more special than others. Further, our egos want others to recognize us as such. But, all of this separation is illusion. At some underlying level, we are one. We spring forth from the same source. We don't question what we know. We just know it. We can question what we think, and can even question what we believe ... but, not what we know. That is certain. Knowing allows no doubt or it is not knowing. I am an instrument through whom spirit does her work in the world. A living instrument yes, but an instrument nonetheless. 233

Selfless behavior is rewarded with more opportunities to excel. We need to strive to be more selfless in our endeavors. That means leaving the what's in it for me attitude at the door. You are not to be concerned with outcomes ... you are to do what you must do. That's about as direct as you can get. Outcomes are in god's hands not mine. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be observant and learn from the outcomes that are created. It just means that I shouldn't focus on achieving particular outcomes. Things work much more smoothly if we simply do the tasks that are ours to do. Elegance is the idea that the universe gets the maximum results for whatever effort is expended. I like to believe that spirit is operating elegantly through me.

15 November 2003 Spirit/consciousness is my refuge. It is in her that I know that I am safe. The world can touch me only to the degree that I allow it to. Yet, my world is a mirror reflection of whom that I AM. Each of us live within a world of our own making. Beliefs are our way of dealing with part of the unknown. They may or may not be right. Further, we may never know if they are right or not. What matters with beliefs is utility. Do the beliefs serve us and others? Do they help to make our lives better? If they don't it is time to find new ones that do. There is something to be said about being silent and maintaining a blank mind. That is precisely what it takes to allow spirit to come through in our lives. So long as we are busy with our own stuff, our own desires, our own thoughts ... there is no room for spirit. As soon as we let these go, she appears and remains with us so long as we listen to her. The more we develop that connection within us the more peaceful we become. We no longer see it necessary to impose our will on the world. We can allow and accept whatever happens as the will of spirit. Everyone is growing in a manner and at a rate that is right for them. It cannot be any other way. Spirit is elegant in how she manifests. All is right in the world. Hmm ... do I really believe that for my world, much less for the world at large? In some respects I do. I am doing what I am meant to be doing. And, I have achieved a reasonable level of abundance for that.

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It is the great thoughts of the ages that can truly move us. They strike a chord within and stir our passion. It is no wonder that great thoughts come from the greatest minds and souls of the ages. One step at a time. Each step takes us closer to our date with destiny. All of us have a destiny. And, we will indeed achieve it. It is in the cards, so to speak. We cannot help but to be whom that we are. One way or another we will get there. Some go peaceably and quietly. Others go kicking and screaming all the way. It helps if we accept who we are. It helps even more if we discover whom that we truly are. Just as individuals have a destiny, so there is a collective destiny as well. Spirit is evolving the collective to permit increased expression of spirit in flesh through the organizations formed within the collective. There is a lot of work to be done. And, spirit can only do that work through us. But, she will not force her way through. We have to volunteer. We are her eyes, her ears, her hands, her legs, her body, her mind, even her consciousness in flesh. With that we can do miracles ... not of our own accord, but because spirit does them through us. It is all a matter of believing, no knowing, that we are the instruments through which spirit expresses.

16 November 2003 Good enough is good enough. There is only so much that we can expect of ourselves. Oh, it is far more than most people imagine. But, there are still limits. We each have a level of awareness appropriate to what we need to experience and to express. No more and no less. None are greater and none are lesser in the eyes of God. We each came to manifest whom that we are to the degree that we can. And, whom that we are is greater than any of us have imagined. There is only so much that it is capable of. After that, we have to go beyond imagination to find more. It is amazing what 26 letters, 10 numerals, a space, a period, a comma, a left parenthesis, a right parenthesis, a colon, and a semicolon can do. Out of these basic building blocks, all words, all sentences, and all paragraphs in this expression are built. It is important to notice how important the space is to communication. Without it, our words would run together and our writings would be nearly impossible to read.

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There is a destiny that is being played out in our lives. It is being played out everywhere we look. It is a spiritual destiny. We live in a spiritual world. It has always been so. "One man can make a difference ..." The show that I was watching just had that line. I know that this is true. We need to actively work towards things. We need to actively be the change that we want to see in the world. I can't make a difference if I don't find ways to touch other peoples lives. I believe there is only ONE consciousness and that we are all part of that. So, in revealing this information ... I'm really making it available to other aspects of my SELF. So, there is no breach of privacy. I do this willingly. I accept what is expressed. I feel no need to restrict or constrain it. Neither do I edit it. What comes forth comes forth. There is something special about loving ones work. It transforms labor into fun. It is amazing what we can accomplish when this happens. We can be incredibly creative when we are properly motivated. Love is one of the universal motivators. It pushes us to be the best that we can be and to do works beyond imagination. There is a saying, by their works shall ye know them. Ultimately, that is what counts, the works that we do. We tend to live up to our expectations, no matter what they are. Further, the reality we experience tends to live up to our expectations as well. So, we need to be careful about what we expect. We live in a world of our own making. We create the reality that we experience. We do this every hour of every day so long as we walk the Earth. We have the potential to be experts. In fact, we are masters at other than conscious levels. We can become conscious masters if we so desire and are willing to put in the appropriate time and effort. Each of us have our unique gifts and talents. They are meant to be used in service in some way. We have to find our place in the world. We have to find where we can make the greatest contribution.

18 November 2003 Awakening brings a new level of awareness. It is not clear how to describe it. It is just something that you have to experience. The mind cannot contain it. It is a beyond mind experience. It opens up a whole new dimension of freedom. Our minds may have a mental understanding that we create our own reality. They may even believe this to some degree in some areas of our lives. But, our spirits know that we create it all, no fine print, no exceptions. Things happen in our lives when we know that they will. But, even then we must leave the timing to spirit. There is something to be said about living life in the moment. In many ways, it makes it easier. 236

Hermits don't build communities. Though, they may indeed build the foundations for such. In general, we are all very competent at other than conscious levels. One of our objectives however is to live a more conscious life, a more spiritually aware life. To do that, we must open ourselves up to higher awareness and all that it has to offer. I'm watching A Beautiful Mind. There is a line "I need to believe something extraordinary is possible" that caught my attention. It is the extraordinary in life that gives it meaning. We need to do what we are good at doing. It helps if this is what we love as well.

19 November 2003 What we know inside is incredible. That is true for all of us. We just have to find and learn to tap these inner sources. There is a spiritual destiny that is manifesting in our lives. This is true for all of us. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation. While we are physical we seem to forget who we truly are. Awakenings are bleedthroughs that help us to remember our true nature. They do this by changing our awareness. They allow an increased flow of consciousness through us. Awareness and love can transform any work into great work.

20 November 2003 There is great power in words when they are used effectively. The reward for providing services of great value is unlimited abundance. Everything begins with service. We create a better society by serving one another better and taking care of each other. While we may be individuals, we are also members of a society. If we focus too much on the individual, the society, the whole suffers. If we focus too much on the society, particular individuals may not get what they need. The whole objective is to meet needs. That is what spirit does, she meets needs wherever she finds them. As spirit expressed in flesh, we have our part to play in this. We are free to see the world through any glasses that we choose. However, we need to be careful not to conclude that what we see is the world. It is a representation of it, a representation that is an approximation. Our worlds are not the same. They are not meant to be. They may overlap and even intertwine in places ... but they are still distinct. 237

21 November 2003 There is something about movies. You suspend disbelief for two hours to allow a set of images, music, and dialogue take you into a different world. We need to be flexible enough to accommodate and even embrace change for the many gifts that it offers. Be careful what you wish for. What you create, you are responsible for.

22 November 2003 What is expressed becomes a permanent part of history ... a record of consciousness in action. Too many people fight the inner self and insist on doing things their way. This can work at times. However, why fight with such an important part of us. It seems far easier to cooperate and trust that it knows what it telling us. One could do far worse than to have a personal guide in one's life. Life is meant to be experienced, not necessarily understood. We experience exactly what we need to experience. What is wrong with living in a world where the things that matter most are destined to happen? There is a spiritual destiny unfolding in each of our lives. It is unfolding whether we believe in God or not and whether we believe in spirit or not. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation. There is no way to escape our spiritual nature. We can hide from it, and we can try to deny it. But, that will only succeed for so long. At some point we come to realize who we are ... and once we do, we are never the same again. That is what self-realization is all about. As far as I know, there is no methodical path to awakening. Yes, there are many things that one can study and learn, but awareness is elusive. It takes a singularity, a breakpoint, to make the leap to higher awareness.

23 November 2003 We are moved by a source that we can't even explain. Naming something is not the same as explaining it or knowing it. The label does not equal the thing. The label doesn't even describe the nature of the thing. We can live a conscious life full of meaning. We can just as easily live an other than conscious life with similar fullness of meaning. What matters is to realize the spiritual beings that we are.

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Life is a training ground and a playground for spirit. This is where spirit is able to express physically. But, she can't do this on her own, she can only be physical through us. This has been true for untold ages. We are the vessels through which spirit expresses in flesh. It is for us to do what we can open the channel so that we can allow the clearest expression of which we are capable. We will be amazed by what we will be able to do when spirit works through us. It will be truly phenomenal. It will indeed. In the end, it is our works, what we do, that distinguishes us.

24 November 2003 At some level we are ONE. At that level, all that any of us experience, we all experience. There is a difference between telling someone something and taking them on a journey into the realms of consciousness. It is the journey that makes the difference. I trust the universe to provide me with the experiences that I need to learn and to grow and to be and express whom that I am.

25 November 2003 I have the fortunate job of integrating how all of this could come forth through me. I don't need to explain it. I just need to accept and integrate it with my concepts of whom that I am. For one thing, I am the being through whom this expression can come. That alone says alot about my level of awareness and my mission to serve on a grand scale in this existence. The only true measure of beliefs is their utility. Do they serve us and those we touch? We can embed spiritual principles everywhere in our lives. If we truly look, we will find that they are already there. In nearly every aspect of our lives things are unequal: talents, abilities, income, possessions, education, jobs, responsibilities, opportunities, etc ... So, in what respects are we created equal? If we can sit back and be the observer for awhile, we will be amazed at the insight we can gain as to how the process works. This is a process of discovery.

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs. I've said before that we need a social contract, a sacred commitment that we make to one another that defines what we are expected to give to society and what in turn we can expect from society.

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Be Kind and Do Good! This is another directive that expresses a more spiritual component that addresses how we interact with others. Everything starts with kindness. That is key to creating a better world. Doing good, doing what we know to be right is also important. Never take more than you give! This one is from The Lion King. It succinctly states how to achieve abundance in society. If everyone gives more than they take, there is always a positive balance. There is always a surplus. In a service focused world, there are always new services that can be created and provided to society. This is an open ended game that we are playing. If we do it right, the surpluses should be able to allow us to all live as kings. Unlike many others, I did not come to simply taste of the fruits of earthly delights. That was not enough to draw me back. I came to play a particular role during the transition of an age. In this case, the transition is from the Piscean to the Aquarian age.

26 November 2003 Listening to a tape by Wayne Dyer on Higher Awareness, one thing struck me deeply. Something to the effect that the voice from intuition is God's way of speaking to us. It takes all kinds to make the world go round as they say. At some level we are ONE. So, what I do others can benefit from directly. What I do, I do not for me alone. This is a service to spirit that I perform. My hope is that it would benefit many before my time on the planet is done. Life is an adventure in consciousness. There are two key points here. One, life is an adventure. And, two, life is lived in consciousness. We have no right to be concerned with outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. It is for us to do what we must do to the best of our abilities. Actually this may be overstating things. Sometimes good enough is good enough. We don't have to get everything perfect.

28 November 2003 You have to be grateful for what you already have before you have any chance of obtaining more abundance in your life. That is how the laws of manifestation work. Gratitude helps create the vacuum needed to draw more of anything into our lives.

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Change your choices, change your reality. At some level, we are all ONE. And, at that level we can address each other as parts of the same whole. Not as distinct parts, rather as interrelated parts. In fact, we will be amazed at just how interrelated we find ourselves to be. A blank mind, a clear conscience, an aware consciousness ... these three things are important to the expression of spirit in flesh. Unfortunately, these three things are not easy to achieve. The mind struggles constantly not to be blank. Many do not listen to their conscience. And, awareness is easier said than experienced. Having all three of these at once is a major mark of distinction.

29 November 2003 Everything is the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit. EVERYTHING! You might say that we are not limited by form, rather we are enabled by it. Forms allow us to do things and experience things that cannot be done or experienced in any other way. Limitation is ripe with possibilities for creative expression. It seems that many suffer through much more hardship than others. One might ask if this is fair. Then again, in a world where we create our own reality how can anything that we experience be unfair? There is an inner voice that knows when we are doing the right thing under a given set of circumstances. Right is nearly always subjective, it is dependent on the circumstances. The sooner that we learn this lesson, the better off the world will be. Enough with the future. It will be what it will be. It is for us to do what we can to be ready for it and allow it to unfold in our lives. Ultimately, I will do what I am destined to do. No more and no less. Try as I might, I can only make the difference that I am meant to make. Further, I can't help but to make that difference if I express naturally. If we fail for lack of trying, shame on us. However, if we try and do not succeed, we can always try something different. Being aware is one of the most important states that we can reach in any existence. Our level of awareness is the one thing that we get to keep when we pass on. Our worldly riches get passed along to others. Our bodies become food for worms. Our mind passes with the brain and the body. It is only our consciousness that remains. Life is a precious gift. To honor that gift, we need to do what we can to make the most of our lives. That means doing things that make a difference in the lives of others.

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We can trust that the universe is leading us to exactly what we need to do when we need to be doing it. This is always true if we will but allow it to be in our lives. Trust is the operative word here. Spirit, consciousness, and the universe can be trusted. They don't always give us what we want, but they always give us what we need. That is just the way of spirit. Needs are always met somehow. Everything is spirit in expression. As such, we are the vehicles through which spirit does her work. God helps those who help themselves is only a partial truth. It seems that there are many who are not in a position to do this. Yet, we can all be kind and helpful to others. Not everyone has a grand part to play in the scheme of things. Yet, each of us can make a difference in the lives of others in some important ways. That is ultimately what counts. What did we do that made a difference? This is something that we need to be asking every day, every moment. We need to be on the lookout for opportunities to excel and to contribute. We contribute most when we are doing the things that we love to do. Indeed, love makes all the difference in the world.

1 December 2003 I would not be subject to a passive faith. I would declare what I believe actively through my actions in the world. I would make a positive difference in the world. I would leave the world a better place for my having lived. There is no time to waste. If we would make a difference, we need to start doing things now. There is a long time lag between the doing and reaping. We reap what we sow. We need to do what we can to sow well and ensure our seeds fall on fertile ground. That provides the most likelihood that the seeds will take root and grow. Our abilities and talents are gifts from consciousness. The greater these gifts, the greater they need to be used in service to others. In the end, the services that we have provided are all that really matters. That is the key ... it is the process, not the end, that is important. We need to fully engage in the process of life.

2 December 2003 There is ultimately no good and no bad. The ego and the higher self are not natural enemies ... though their purposes can indeed put them at opposition to one another

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Denying the ego only gives it that much more strength. It seems that we need to accept it and then put it in its rightful place. It is amazing what we can do when we are passionate about something. That is one thing that has the power to remove limitations ... passion. The debt you incur from receiving spiritual works is not to the creator of those works. I know, this is not what we learn in economics. But, there is a greater economics at play here. Spiritual economics ensures that we get what we need in exchange for doing what is ours to do. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Our lives overall are far more complex than they need to be.

3 December 2003 We are spirit enfleshed. We can't be slaves to spirit. Though, I have joked several times that spirit is a slavedriver. However, that comes from seeing what she demands of me. I don't regret one minute of being in her service or doing her works. Awareness is everything. We are playing an awareness game. The level of awareness that we achieve is the key thing that we get to take with us when we depart this existence. All of our worldly possessions will remain in the world. Our bodies will wither and become dust ... or food for worms. It is our spirit that will remain, and whatever it has learned as a result of this existence. The lessons of consciousness and spiritual awareness are by far the most important of our lives. It is not the length of time that one actively engages in the game that matters. We have been doing this for many lifetimes, and we have all taken on a variety of nationalities. Being born and dying is much the same to the soul as putting on and taking off a set of clothes. A body is just an elaborate set of clothes for the soul, a means for expressing and experiencing in flesh. We don't want to ever regret that we did not do something or experience something. That does not mean that we have to do or try everything. The key word is what would we regret not having accomplished. Not everyone who works on the foundations needs to buy into the vision. Ultimately, they will see the benefits of their participation. The workmen for a house don't need to buy into the architect's vision, they just need to do their jobs and build the house per the specifications. We can't tolerate a world divided into haves and havenots. At the same time, we need incentives for excellence. So, there is a fine balance that must be maintained. The bottom line is not wasting resources, especially human resources. We need to make sure all are employed productively in ways that use their natural talents and abilities. This requires thinking differently.

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Individuals are naturally designed to fit within the fabric of society as the pieces of a puzzle ... only on multiple dimensions.

4 December 2003 Outcomes we leave to spirit. Though, if we don't like the results, we can change our choices of beliefs and actions. There are some mysteries in life that are never meant to be fathomed. That is OK. We need to be able to embrace the mystery and the magic. We are what we are. There are no excuses needed. We can all start from whatever we are and grow into whatever we need to be to accomplish our missions. The mighty oak is contained within the acorn. In a similar manner, there is a plan for each of us. Our lives are unfolding in accord with that plan. All that is necessary for that unfolding is the right nourishment. We need to dream before we can achieve. The grander the dreams, the better. We need our dreamers. They are the ones who ultimately create the impetus for a better world. Questions are one of the most powerful tools that we have for exploring what we know and don't know.

5 December 2003 No regrets. We are to live our lives without regret ... either for what we have done or what we have not done. If we want to live our lives differently, we need to make different choices as to what we believe is possible for us and what we believe that we deserve. Manifestation should not be hard work. It should flow naturally from being whom that we are. It can do this if there is no resistance. Negative beliefs are one powerful form of resistance. We need to rid these from our system as quickly as we can. Believe with the full force of your being. That is what empowers beliefs to manifest things in our lives. However, be ready to change in a moment's notice should a more empowering belief comes your way. Be not afraid to be different! Be not afraid to allow your unique light to shine forth, not because it is better than anyone else but because it is whom that you are and you can't help but to express it. Change is a way of life these days. Though there is the constancy of spirit amidst the change. At some level we are unchanging, eternal, and everlasting. We need to turn inside and find that level. Then, we have an anchor.

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No matter what happens in the world, we have the strength of spirit to deal with it. That is part of what comes from living a life of spirit. We are a droplet in an ocean of water that is the one consciousness. If we are at the surface, for brief moments we can separate ourselves from the ocean and experience life as a droplet ... but we are still water, we are still consciousness. That is the key. First and foremost we are consciousness. Everything else is what we do. We are not what we do. We are not what we experience. We are the doer and the experiencer. There is a big difference. We are players in a grand play ... a play that is orchestrated by spirit every bit as much as a piece of music is orchestrated. All the roles are defined and the precise timing for each note for each instrument and associated musician. Better to dream of grand things than to settle for an ordinary life. At some point, we may in fact make our dreams come true.

6 December 2003 Life doesn't have to be a struggle. Though, it seems that for many it is. It is all a matter of attitude and approach. We need to approach things in the right way. "Ask and it shall be answered." There are inner parts to each of us that know the answers to any questions that we might ask. The very asking of the question is an indication of our readiness to know the answer. Our consciousness already knows a great deal. It is able to feed our conscious self what it needs to know moment by moment unless we place obstacles in it's way such as limiting beliefs. The more we can open our belief systems, the more that we can remove the limitations that bind us ... the freer we will be. And with freedom comes all things that are important. This is especially true when we choose to cooperate freely. All manner of things can then be manifest in our world ... including things that have never been manifest before. Such is the power of synergy.

7 December 2003 While we are physical we operate in both a material and a spiritual realm. We can't be spiritual while incarnate without being physical. Neither can we be physical without being spiritual. I am responsible for my own reality. We all are. No fine print, no exceptions. We each experience exactly what we choose to experience. If we don't like what we are experiencing ... it is up to us to do something to change it. It is up to us to so alter our beliefs to create a better reality. 245

Just because we see that something needs to be done, does not mean it is our responsibility to do it. The job might belong to someone else who just hasn't found it yet.

8 December 2003 The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. If we just allow this to occur gracefully, we will be amazed by what manifests in our lives and the lives of others around us. It is important that we consider others and that we are considerate to them. Compassion goes a long way as well. We must live our lives with passion. Otherwise, it just isn't worth living at all. Maybe this only applies to certain kinds of people. But, I see it applying to everyone. It is not so difficult to live a life of spirit. In fact, when your doing it, it seems downright easy. We need to be open to what the universe, what spirit, is sending our way. We need to be ready to jump on the opportunities that come to us. We need to give spirit room to manifest in our lives. This means becoming the vessel through which she expresses. This takes some doing, but is not difficult either. There is a natural inclination within us toward expressing spiritually, toward living a spiritual life. We can ignore it, or we can embrace it. I advise the later. Whenever there is a choice between spirit and anything else, by all means choose spirit. It will make life easier in the long run. We can do whatever we set our minds and our hearts on doing. It takes both to achieve great things. And such are the only things worth achieving. If we are going to endeavor to do something, it might as well be something grand ... something that takes our breath away as well as that of others who see what we have done. Life is meant to be a celebration, in particular, a celebration of spirit in flesh. Outcomes can be dangerous if we become too fixated on them.

9 December 2003 There is a part of us that simply knows. And, it knows far more than most people give it credit. This is the soul. It is not surprised by anything that we might do. She is in her native realm and expresses primarily through our intuition. Ultimately we are free beings. As such, we can only be controlled to the degree that we allow. Either we create our own reality or we don't. There is no in-between. There is no fine print. There are no exceptions. We create this reality individually and en masse. 246

Know that you are in charge of all that you experience. You create it all ... every event, every emotion, and every meaning. That is simply how life works. We can't be forgiven by others until we find it within us to forgive ourselves. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do.

10 December 2003 Reality creation happens in the moment. There is no other place to effect change. The past is done. The future is beyond our grasp. Only the present offer us the opportunity to do as we will to create the reality that we choose to create. We are free to create the reality of our dreams ... but we are also free to create the reality of our nightmares, as well as any number of things in between those extremes. We need to dream big. We need to expect the very best not only for us but for everyone that we touch. As we expect, so shall we create. Ultimately it is not our beliefs but our actions that have the most impact. Yes, what we do makes all of the difference. We are the instruments through which spirit does her works in the world. In fact, everything that we do is the expression of spirit in flesh. We are all spirit. We are all cells of the same one whole. We are all droplets in the same one ocean of consciousness. But, we are quite interesting droplets in our own right. It is through us that all the trials and the glories of limitation are experienced. Life is very special. Limitation is not to be looked on in a negative light. Just look at some of the inspiration that has come forth in art, in poetry, in literature, in music, in architecture, in science and technology and in any number of creative endeavors. Consciousness is the final frontier. It is here that we face the unknown and even the unknowable. Though we need to be careful not to mistake the unknown for the unknowable. There is an army of lightworkers trained and ready to offer their services to a world in need. However, it is not clear that the world recognizes that it is in need or that these are the precise services that can help.

11 December 2003 Life is an adventure in consciousness. If you are not experiencing it in that way, perhaps it is time for a change in attitude. Consciousness is everything, it truly is. When we focus on awareness, all things are added unto us. Abundance is our birthright, but it only comes if we claim it. 247

As souls, we are entitled to a lot by our very nature. However, if we fail to realize this nature ... we withhold ourselves from our natural inheritance. Spirit works gently in our lives. She comes when she is invited. She expresses through us when we allow her to. The more aware that we become, the more desirous we become of having spirit play an expanded role in our lives. Separation is illusion. But, it is useful illusion that permits the richness of experiences that life forms and all matter experience. Happiness can be illusive. Some seem to have found the key, but most of us still seem to be learning in this area. We are pursuing happiness as best we can but we are not necessarily finding happiness. It is interesting that our founding fathers considered the "pursuit of happiness" an inalienable right. They said nothing about achieving that which we pursue. The directive from spirit is clear. Be whom that you are and do as you are moved to do. Trust the life force that is expressing through you. Be kind! Treat people with the full respect that they deserve. Service is everything, but only when it is done with love. We are not meant to be slaves. We are meant to love what we do.

12 December 2003 Awareness is never forced upon us. It doesn't come until we are ready for it ... though at the time it is happening, we may not think that we are ready. It is via our thoughts that we create our world and our reality. Life is full of contradictions. We have to find a way to live our lives in spite of this fact. Actually, this is part of what makes life so magical ... the very fact that it can find ways to rise above these contradictions. Yes, we can create reality via our thoughts. However, that doesn't make all of our thoughts correct. This is especially true of thoughts regarding whom we are. These will never capture all of us accurately and completely. There will always be more to learn and discover about ourselves and about how we express in the world. Self-discovery is one of our major challenges in life, at least for those along particular spiritual paths. Individually, we will be surprised at what we can do when we put both mind and heart into our endeavors. The added power of people working together towards common goals is phenomenal. 13 December 2003 248

There is a destiny that is being played out. We are the pawns and pieces in a game of chess. As such, we go where the chessmaster directs. Yet at the same time, we are the chessmaster as well for at least some aspects of our life. Once awakened, the light of spirit is upon us and we can hide in darkness no longer. In this world, making a difference is what matters most. There is always something that we can do to make a difference. It doesn't matter how rich or poor we are. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. What matters is what is in our heart and how we can give of ourselves to serve others. Service is everything. If we knew who we truly are ... we would find that we are far more deserving than we ever dreamed. That is what is ultimately in store for us as we realize our divinity as spirit manifest in flesh. The world is evolving in accord with some grand plan for the evolution of consciousness. We are part of that plan. We are the very elements of that plan in motion. We are the consciousness that is evolving. Spirit manifests her will through us. She has no other way of doing her works in the world. There is a peace of spirit that comes from finding ones place in the scheme of things. Once found, no one can ever take that away from us.

14 December 2003 We are meant to live miraculous lives. Spirit is capable of all manner of miracles when we allow her to operate and express through us. We have to expect to see miracles if we are to see them. Life itself is such a miracle. It baffles and intrigues and astonishes us on every turn. It is truly a wonder to behold. The gift of life is truly a sacred blessing. It is something that we are given freely. But, it is up to us to do something special with that gift and share of it with others in some way, preferably in service. Service is not servitude. We are not enslaved, we are free. When we serve, we choose to give of ourselves in a way that helps others. However, depending on the type of service, we may or may not know whom we serve. Destiny is not a bad thing. This is especially true of spiritual destiny. In some respects, there is nothing that can take you off of your path. The very universe is there to assure that. Trust that your life has meaning and purpose. For, indeed it does, even greater than you can imagine. This applies to everyone, not just a special few. In general, people are always doing the best they can under the circumstances they find themselves under.

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15 December 2003 Throughout our lives, we do what is demanded of us. We do what we must. We do what circumstances force us to do. But, there is a different way to live. We can control the very circumstances that we experience. We can create our reality. We can do what we would do ... or what spirit would have us do. It is all a matter of choice. We need to be careful about what we accept as directives in our lives. We can be self-directed. We can be spirit-directed. It is all up to us. It always has been. We can accept limitation, or we can turn away from it and seek freedom. What we seek, we will eventually find ... we just need to seek sincerely for as long as it takes. What would life be without its challenges? These are what allow us to excel. These are what bring out the very best in us. It seems that so long as we live and are willing to meet life openly ... we will have challenges to deal with and obstacles to overcome. Some things are worth doing, and other things just don't matter as much. It takes wisdom to know the difference. We are living a life of spirit now. When one lives such a life, the rules of the game change. Everything becomes more benign. All manner of aid comes to our assistance. We become capable of doing incredible and miraculous things.

18 December 2003 I am an information generator in an information age. What more could one ask to be? Life is about the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit in flesh. Yet, how many of us know what consciousness really is? How many of us know the varieties of consciousness and of spiritual expression in our lives? We are spiritual beings, first and foremost. We are meant to know that, truly know that. Some things we can doubt if we'd like, but this is not one of them. There is too much riding on it, literally all that we are. We are meant to live our lives in accord with a higher purpose, with a mission that is uniquely ours. However, this does not happen automatically. We have to do our parts. We have to play the roles we've chosen. There are no surprises. We auditioned for and were selected for these very roles. We even create the roles that we experience. Not everything that we think we believe will manifest. It all depends on the strength of the belief and its consistency with other beliefs in our arsenal. It pays to believe strongly. It also pays to have a consistent belief system. Change is the only constant in this world. Avoiding change is tantamount to death. We need to embrace change, and look forward to all of the possibilities that it opens up in our lives.

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Our search for happiness does not have to be a lifelong endeavor. We can find what we seek. Share of whom that you are with others more than you have ever done be for. Be open and trust. You will not be disappointed. Allow love to express itself in all that you do. That is the secret of great works ... the amount of love that goes into them.

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That concludes our selection of best quotes for this period. The total came to xxxx – 1543 = xxx. Anyway, hopefully you found the selected passages as moving as I did. Perhaps even moving enough to want to return to them from time to time. That is the most that we can hope for from the children of our mind … that they inspire people and move them to act in ways that serve themselves and serve others. Remember: Do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. and “Never take more than you give.” I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! Wayne

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CONCLUSION I hope this third four month stream of consciousness expression was of benefit to you. I hope that it challenged what you believe about yourself and the nature of consciousness. I hope that it opened your eyes and your mind to some new possibilities and enables you to see the world differently as a result. Remember, my way is just one way. It is clearly not the only way … and it is clearly not for everyone. Take from it what you will. Let utility be your guide. Use whatever you find of value and leave the rest for another day or perhaps even another life … if ever. It still amazes me how all of this can come forth through me so fluidly. Consciousness desires to be expressed. I happen to be a suitable vessel for that expression … at least for this manner of that expression. Words are my forte. This is what I love doing. I can’t imagine any better work to engage my heart and my soul in. Hopefully that is obvious from the quality of the expression. If you are moved by what you have found here do take the time to provide feedback. Especially so, if you feel yourself to be a kindred spirit and relate to the task of building the foundations for a new world.

NAMASTE! Wayne Hartman 1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278 [email protected] BEYOND IMAGINATION Creating the Foundations for a New World http://www.redshift.com/~beyond

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ABOUT BEYOND IMAGINATION BEYOND IMAGINATION is an entity dedicated to building a better world in which SPIRIT is more fully expressed in flesh. At the Beyond Imagination site you'll find over three thousand pages of metaphysical works that have come from SPIRIT through Wayne to you describing a VISION of what we are endeavoring to create and documenting our progress in achieving our goals of creating a COMMUNITY where individuals are truly able to be all they can be in a cooperatively interdependent environment where the real needs of all are met effectively. We are in the process of publishing much of the Beyond Imagination material that has been created in the past ten years. We hope you enjoy our works, and that they move you to want to participate so that we can co-create the WORLD in which we would prefer to live in the Aquarian Age that lies before us. Other Published Books Beyond Imagination: Best Passages from 2002 Musings Beyond Imagination: The Early Works Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings – Vol I Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings – Vol II Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes – Book 1 Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes – Book 2 Beyond Imagination Quotes Beyond Imagination: The Search for Center Planned for Release in 2004 Beyond Mind: Notes from a Soul in the Midst of Awakening The Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers

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