Amadeus

Amadeus: The Movie Scene: Young house, 1959 Setting: 1959, Toledo, Ohio Characters: Mable (Chad’s mother), John Phillips (Chad’s father) ESTABLISH SHOT OUTSIDE HOUSE, SUNSET [Inside house, fire in fireplace] J.P. walks into room, sets down briefcase and puts hat on hat rack. He then sits down. J.P.-mmmm…Mable, that smells delicious, what is it? Mable- I know you’ve had a rough week, so I made you a treat. It’ll be out of the oven any minute. J.P. is unfolding newspaper; he begins reading while obviously avoiding conversation *ding* dinner is done. JP looks over his paper. JP and Mable are sitting down for dinner (lasagna), JP is scarfing the meal down, Mable is looking tired and a bit eager. Mable-John, we need to have a talk JP- (with a full mouth) can’t this wait I’m a little busy Mable- No, this is important JP loudly puts down his fork and wipes the sauce off his face JP- alright, Mable WHAT is it? Mable- everyday, I’m home alone while you go out and work. Do you know how lonely I get? I need someone here. JP- Honey, we both know I can’t quit my job, you (mable interrupts JP) Mable- no, I don’t want you to stay home, I was thinking maybe it’s time we expand a little.

Shot of closed door, pan in of door knob, Fade to black ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Scene: Hospital Room, 7 months later Setting: 1959 Toledo Characters: Mable, Dr. Bernstein, John Phillips Fade in from black Doctor walks into patient’s room, puts several x-ray sheets onto lighted board Doctor- Mable, if you don’t mind me asking what did you eat while you’ve been pregnant? Mable- (thinks about situation for a second) nothing out of the ordinary. Why? Doctor- You didn’t happen to have any PIZZA these past seven months did you? Mable- I don’t see a problem with just a few slices it’s not like… Doctor- (interrupting) Don’t you know what pizza does to child’s development? Mable you fool, you just created some serious complications That’s a big baby you’ve got there, and unfortunately, he’s gonna have to come out early. JP- DAGNABBIT! I knew this would happen Doctor- Mr. Young, please, calm down Mable- Dr. Bernstein, what does all this mean? Doctor- Mrs. Young, I’m sorry to say this…but your son’s gonna have to come out as soon as possible for your health. However, this is a risky procedure, and there could be some minor brain damage. Mable- is there anything we can do? Doctor- unfortunately medicine hasn’t come this far, we have no other options. Mable- Alright, but the ball’s in your court

Fade to Black Open with loud, ear piercing scream Cut to rotating shot of Mable’s screaming face. Abstract montage of the birth of Chad (featuring lots of moving shots and dutch angles) this scene should exemplify that he was very painful to come out. As final shot fades out, cut to the time just after the delivery. Mable is holding her child (chad) wrapped up in a series of blankets and crying. Doctor Bernstein comes into the room to check on Mr and Mrs Young. Doctor- How are the three of you? Mable, are you feeling weak? Mable- A bit, I was laboring so hard that I was afraid he was just going to fly out Doctor Bernstein exits the room JP- Honey, I got us something to remember today by. John Phillips pulls out a “best of the circus” vinyl. He puts it on a record player (Narration) Chad- It was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. From that moment on I knew what I was born to do. JP- Mable! Don’t feed him pizza; he’s far too young. (Narration) Chad- No, wait, I take that back, this was what I was living for. And this is my story. Cut to title screen “Amadeus” A young chad, roughly 2 years old is in the background playing with two blocks, mable and jp are arguing in the foreground. The house is a mess with papers stacked everywhere and a largely messy floor. Both John Phillips and Mable look exhausted from taking care of Chad. (narration) chad- as long as I can remember my family was always full of excitement and everyone always liked to speak in their forte voice.

JP- (in frustration) Dagnabbit Mable, don’t you remember what Doctor Bernstein said while you were pregnant. That early delivery could have caused some mild brain damage. Just look at the boy, he’s three years old and… Mable- (interrupting) …and what? John, just because the kid isn’t a Mozart doesn’t mean… JP- (interrupting)…You’ve gotta be kidding me, chad’s 3 years old and he still isn’t walking or talking. All he does is listen to that darn circus vinyl and make circles with his arms. Mable- The kid’s not just waving his arms willy-nilly he’s trying to conduct to the album JP- Mable, you’re joking right? There’s no beat in that conducting. Where do you get a sense of time from a circle? You know what Mable? Mable- There’s just no winning with you is there John? You always have to be right? Mable begins to walk away JP- (yelling at mable) Come back here! I’m not through with you yet! Cut to shot of JP lying on couch facing camera (disgruntled expression). It is nighttime, Mable made him sleep on the couch. Fade to the next morning, JP has woken up, it looks like he has gotten very little sleep. Mable enters the room Mable: So, did you learn anything last night. JP: I learned how to conduct cut time from that damned record, if that’s what you mean Mable: John, you’re hopeless aren’t you? JP: Mable, if you’re the experts on raising kids why don’t you do it? Mable: I never said I was… JP: Does the expert have anything else to add? Mable, I’m out of here. Have a good life. Chad: (first words) papa Mable: Did you just hear that John? JP: Don’t tell me about what I just heard. I consider that incredibly rude.

Chad (narration): That was the last time I saw my dad for 20 years. After he left my mom she left me with my grandmother and joined the airforce as a helicopter pilot. Cut to helicopter footage, Mable has left chad. Scene: 1963 Chad’s Grandmother’s House Location: San Antonio, Texas Characters: Chad Young, Margaret (Chad’s Grandmother), The Circus Bear Chad (narration): After my mother left me, I went to go live with my grandmother. She was the fastest woman I’d ever known. Chad is now about 4 years old. He is living in the country with his grandmother after Mable and JP left him. Margaret has raised a bear, which Chad has become incredibly attached to. Margaret: CHAD! CHAD! Dinnertime honey! Chad is seen running swiftly towards Margaret, he is hungry. Chad: Grandma! What’d you make for dinner? Margaret: I made an old family recipe. Chicken potpie. Chad: Grandma! I said I wanted pizza! Margaret: Chuckmeister, we just had that two nights ago… Chad: But I want it NOW! Margaret: CHARLES WAHLFRED YOUNG! I’ll bring the wrath of god down on you unless you stop it right now Chad reluctantly gets in his seat for dinner. He picks around with his food for a while. He doesn’t eat anything. Chad: Grandma, where do babies come from? Margaret: Excuse me? Chad: Where do babies come from? Margaret hesitates about how to answer the question for a while

Margaret: ummm….hmm…Hey Chad, how would you like to go get some pizza? Chad: Holy Toledo! Chad (narration): That woman never told me where babies come from. Every time I would ask we’d always go get pizza. I came to know that as the most delicious question in the world. Cut to Chad in Margaret’s house (Margaret is gone) Chad (narration): Sometimes Margaret would leave me for days at a time to go train for running marathons. This gave me plenty of time to explore her house and find hidden treasures. Cut to shot of Chad going through Margaret’s bedroom. He looks under the bed and finds a baritone. He pulls the case out from under the bed. Chad (narration): Unfortunately, I was never too good at being sneaky. Margaret comes into the room while chad is pulling the baritone out Margaret: Chad, what are you doing in here? I told you to stay out of here. Chad: Umm…I was looking for the circus bear. Margaret: Son, just get out of here. I don’t ever want to catch you in here again. Chad (Narration): She may have spoiled my plan, but dagnabbit! One way or another I was going to play that euphonium. Then, one day it hit me like big fat low G. Chad (Narration): It would all start out like a normal day. Just me and the circus bear. When Margaret called me in for dinner I would pretend to enjoy the food she had cooked. Halfway through the meal I would ask the world’s most delicious question. However, whenever we left to go get pizza I would leave one door to the house unlocked. Whenever we got to the pizza joint I would pretend to go to the bathroom. At that point I would quietly sneak out and run back home*. I would go through the unlocked door and play that baritone all night. (during this portion have b-roll of chad’s narration to illustrate how it would all work out in his mind) *Whenever chad is shown running home be sure to show that he cannot run more than a few steps without running out of breath.

Chad is in Margaret’s room. He has successfully pulled out the baritone! He draws in a breath about to play when… Margaret: Chad! What are you doing here? Chad: I just wanted to play the baritone so bad! Margaret: Bad enough to give up pizza? Chad (narration): That woman was a fast traveler and a tough negotiator Scene: 1965 (chad enters elementary) Location: San Antonio, Texas Characters: Chad, Leo, Mr. Sousa, Margaret Chad (narration): whenever I turned six Margaret said it was high time I started going to school. Lucky for me I was so smart they had to isolate me from the regular kids. MrS: Alright kids sit down and shut up, we’ve got a long year ahead. MrS: Today kiddos, we’re going to be looking at numbers. How many of you know how to count? Chad raises his hand MrS: Kid, what’s your name? Chad: Chad Wahlfred Young Mr. Sousa spits his water back in his glass in surprise MrS: Could you repeat that? I’m not sure I heard you correctly. Chad: Chad Wahlfred Young MrS: Look kid, we don’t have time to waste here. Mr. Sousa pulls out his attendance sheet and looks up chad’s name. Upon realizing that that truly is his name he stares over the folder. MrS: Son, I’m so sorry. Come by my room during lunch, we need to have a talk.

Chad (Narration): That day Margaret was kind enough to pack me a slice for lunch, so I didn’t mind going to see Mr. Sousa MrS: Chad, do me a favor and tell me about your parents Chad: Well, um I don’t remember them very well; they left me when I was 3 with my Grandma and The Circus Bear MrS: Really, that’s rather unfortunate. Chad: My mom left my dad to go fly planes in the air force MrS: Interesting…Interesting…Chad how would you like to have tea this evening? I want to learn more about you. Cut to after school. Chad is being picked up by Margaret MrS: Look, I just want to have a talk with your kid. I want to know more about him Margaret: Isn’t there another time that we could do this? MrS: It’s imperative that we do this now, before the memories are gone Margaret: Sir, come on over here I need to have a word with you in private Mr. Sousa walks over to the other side of the car Margaret (whispering): Look you can take the kid for the evening I just need some time alone. He’s driving me insane. MrS: Good News Chad! Cut to Mr. Sousa’s apartment*. *Mr. Sousa is a psychedelic drug user. John Lennon inspires him. MrS: Chad, Please have a seat. I’ll go put the tea on. Chad sits down, followed closely by Mr. Sousa, who puts his feet on the coffee table MrS: So, chad, tell me about yourself what do you do? Chad: Well, I live with my grandma out on a farm with a bear she has raised. I like to trick her to give me pizza. And I go to school with this man called Mr…

MrS: Chad, let’s get back on track your talking about me. I know who I am Kettle whistles, the tea is done Mr. Sousa pours two cups of tea with several sugar cubes set out. He picks up one with a pair of forceps and puts it in his tea. Chad tries to grab one with his hands when… MrS: Chad, whatever you do DON’T touch the sugar. (muttering) lord knows I have enough problems. Chad (narration): Little did he know that I’d already put one in before he could tell me not to Chad looks over and Mr. Sousa has fallen asleep Fade to black CHAD’S TRIP Opening shot: Chad wakes up on the couch, the room is upside down Chad tries to stand up off the couch, unfortunately he is stuck by some invisible force A pizza box on a table appears in front of him, it opens up to reveal a sausage pizza SP: Look at me. Yeah, you, Chad, Look at me. Now, look at yourself. SP: What’s your problem man? Why do you want me so bad? SP: Whatcha doin’ wit yo’ life boy? All you do is sit on yo’ bee-hind all day and eat me. It’s always Eat dis, and eat dat. SP: One of deez days you gran-ma gonna throw you out like a pile-a-trash. Den what? SP: You ain’t got nuttin’. Find sumtin’ else man. Do sumtin’ wit yo’ self. SP: I ain’t tellin’ you how ta run your life. But at da same time man, I am. Chad: What am I gonna do with my life? SP: You gonna hafta figure that out the hard way. Pizza fades away Chad falls asleep on the couch

Fade to the evening news the day after Reporter: In related news 24 year old primary school teacher Samuel Sousa was arrested today under suspicion of child molestation. Victim Chad (pause) Wahlfred? Walter? Young was found last night asleep in Sousa’s lap where they had both apparently drank tea laced with the psychosis-inducing drug LSD. Chad (narration): That night I learned a valuable lesson about life. Always fold your pizza in half first. It makes it a calzone. Scene: Bandhall 1971 Characters: Margaret, Chad, Unnamed band director, various extras Chad (Narration): Whenever I entered the sixth grade, I joined the band. I knew what I wanted to play, the trumpet. BD: (talking to kid in front of chad in line) Alright, good luck kiddo. NEXT! Hey, kid what do you wanna play? Chad: (with a full mouth) trumpet? BD: son, do me a favor empty your mouth before you speak Chad: I said trumpet (mouth is still full) BD: Trombone? Hey Al, do we have any trombones left? Al: (from closet) Yeah BD: Alright kid trombone it is Chad (narration): if pizza has caused me one regret in life this would be it Scene: Junior High Band Characters: Chad, Mr. Davids (Band Director) MrD: alright band horns up, we’re going to start today off with the spider exercise Chad: (sigh) MrD: excuse me, Mr. Young do we need to go have a discussion outside? No? Good. Chad reluctantly brings his horn up. The band begins the spider warmup Halfway through the warmup he holds his horn up with one arm and reaches into his case with the other. He pulls out a slice of pizza and takes a bite. Mr. Davids cuts off the band.

MrD: Excuse me sir. What is that in your hand? Chad: (quickly hiding slice) umm…nothing MrD: You’d better put that up before you find that in a place you’d prefer not to. Anyways, back from the top The band resumes playing. Dissolve to the end of rehearsal Bell rings MrD: Alright class that’s all I have time for today. Mr. Young if you could please stay behind for a minute I would like to have a word with you Scene: in Mr. Davids’ office MrD: Chad, I’m concerned about your commitment to this organization and furthermore, I’m concerned about your health. Son, you’ll be marching next year and quite frankly I’m not sure you’re capable of handling it. Chad: Mr. Davids, I’m not sure I really want to continue in band. MrD: (sigh) Son, the circus is going to be in town this weekend. I’ve got two tickets, have your grandmother take you. Enjoy yourself, and think about it. Now if you’d please exit quickly I need to go enjoy a cig and a chicken leg. Chad (narration): After some whining and complaining I finally convinced my dear old grandmother to take me to that circus. Circus barker: Popcorn! Peanuts! Hot, fresh pizza! Cotton Candy… Chad (narration): It really was the greatest show on earth. They had everything. Bears riding unicycles, clowns, deep dish pizza, strong men. You name it they had it. It was there that I also found my passion. Band begins playing circus march Chad (narration): And to think I almost quit band and missed out on this glorious treat. The end of the show was so good that the mothers began to throw babies out on the circle*. *show shot of babies literally being thrown out onto the arena floor.

Chad (narration): It was that night in bed that I remember what that delicious thin crust sausage pizza told me when I had tea with Mr. Sousa. I’d finally found what I was going to do with my life. END SCENE -----The Following Monday in the band hall MrD: So, chad did you go to the circus this weekend? Chad: Did I? I wouldn’t have missed that for the world! MrD: That’s good to hear. Have you considered what you are doing with your band career? Chad: I want to conduct a circus one day! Scene: High school practice field 1977 Characters: Chad, Other Drum major, Mr. Davids (loudspeaker) Chad (narration): My junior year I tried out for drum major. I got the part and got to conduct my first circus march. MrD: Alright band that was good let’s see if we can do that again. Reset. 5…4…321 SET! MrD: Alright. 1…2…1,2,1,2 Chad begins to tap a baton on a music stand on his podium to the beat, the band is shown tripping all over each other MrD: CUT! (Mr. Davids walks over to chad) Son, that won’t be necessary, just conduct. Chad: What won’t be necessary? MrD: You with the baton and the stand. Just wave your arms around like every other drum major. MrD: Alright band reset, we’re gonna try this again for the Wahlfred Whole band mumbles under its breath MrD: One last time and 1,2,1,2 Chad begins to conduct normally

Mr. Davids looks over at Chad and gives him a thumbs up and a big smile Chad (narration): Unfortunately, my love for the circus isn’t all biscuits and gravy. Whenever I remember the time Margaret and I went to the circus I begin to conduct in circles, it’s my curse. Show chad conducting normally, however he eventually switches to circular conducting MrD: Cut, cut cut! Good Lord I should only have to cut you off once. MrD: Wahlfred. What was that just then. Chad: I don’t kn… MrD: Shut it. If I wanted an answer I would have asked for one. Take the night off and figure out what you’re doing. Chad (narration): That year the band made it all the way to state. Scene: Chad’s Graduation recital 1978 Chad (narration): Before I graduated Margaret made sure I was headed off to college and that I had a graduation recital with my trombone. Chad: For my next piece I will be performing Canon in E minor. Chad begins playing after a few measures he stumbles over several notes. He looks around hastily then begins to play smoke on the water. About eight bars into the piece the curtain begins to fall in front of him. (in the bathroom later that evening) MrD: God Damn it son! You’re the biggest disgrace this band has ever seen. I ought to have you kicked out of this fine program for that. Chad: I’m sorry sir, I guess I just wasn’t as prepared as I should have been MrD: You’re damn right you weren’t. Who do you think you are? Ryan Trant? I don’t want you to EVER try and pull a stunt like that again.

-------------------------------------Chad’s College Years------------------------------------------Location: San Antonio State College 1979 Characters: Chad, Paul, Willie Chad (narration): In the summer of 79 Margaret sent me off to San Antonio state college. Chad enters his dorm room, his roommate paul is waiting for him Paul: Hey Man, what’s goin on? Are you Chad? Chad: Yeah, I’m Chad. You’re Paul? Paul: Yeah. What’s goin’ on man? Chad: Not much. What’s wrong with your leg? Paul: I injured it in a farm accident. It’s fine now; I just like the crutches. Chad: Hey, uh what bunk did you take? Paul: I’ll just sleep on the floor. I’m used to it. Chad: Alright, that works. Fade to that night; both of them are in bed Paul: So, man, what are you here for Chad: I’m a music major. I play the trombone Paul: Whoa man! That’s what I’m here for to. I’m minoring in music. Chad: Odd. Paul: What? Chad: …Nothing. Cut to next day in music theory class Professor: Alright students, today we’ll be learning about the circle of fifths. Before we begin does anyone have any questions?

Professor: Alright, good seeing none we can continue. As noted in yesterday’s lesson… Willie: (whispering) hey, what’s the circle of fifths, I missed the last few lessons Chad: Drop by my dorm tonight. I’ll help you out with it. Professor: Anyways as I was saying the circle of fifths is often used to determine… Cut to the study session that night Chad: Yeah, so, that’s pretty much all there is to the circle of fifths Willie: That’s it? There’s no way you took two days of notes down to a 30 second talk. Chad: I just did didn’t I? Willie: It all just seems so…simple. Hey check out this new tape I got Willie pulls out a def leppard tape and puts it into chad’s stereo Chad slowly rests into his chair, closes his eyes and opens his mouth. After a while he begins to rub his chest Chad: Oh my God! What is this beautiful music? Paul enters the room Paul: Oh man, is that def leppard? Willie: Hell yeah man Chad falls out of his chair and begins to roll around on the floor Chad: Stop it! Oh God! Stop it! Paul stops the music Chad: Oh my lord. I must see that band in concert…Someone get me a slice, because I just climaxed. --Music theory class, a few weeks later— professor: alright class, lets look at the results of the circle of fifths test. As a rule scores were quite high Chad: (to willie) we’ve got this one in the bag

Professor: unfortunately, a few of you chose to fool around instead of study and the results show. (he drops a test on chad’s desk) (Ebb-) Chad has one of his explosions Chad (narration): That night I got a call from Margaret. She was wondering how I was doing in college. Chad: No, I’m doing fine up here. There’s no need for you to come visit me. Chad: Yeah, I just had a music theory test today. I stand out from the rest of my class. Chad: No, I haven’t married a man, that was just one of those weird dreams you have Chad: Look, I don’t have a whole lot of time to talk tonight I’ve got a test tomorrow Chad: Alright, I’ll talk to you later…bye Willie: Chad, are you ready? This pizza isn’t gonna stay warm forever. Chad: Count me in. Scene: Chad walking on a sidewalk Chad spots a poster on a lightpole. He stops to read it. It is a poster for def leppard coming to san Antonio. Chad: (flabbergasted) There is a god. And he is a gentle one. Chad begins to run home, however he must stop every few steps to catch his breath. This scene should seem far too long Chad is banging on the dorm room door. Chad: LET ME IN! LET ME IN! The door is opened up, it’s the wrong room Chad: sorry…excited…def leppard…san Antonio… (while breathing hard) Chad walks down one door to the right room and opens the door Chad: Willie…paul…def leppard…next month

Willie: I’m diggin’ it Cut to the road trip a month later Chuck: You cats ready for a road trip? Paul: yeah, man Willie: like a camel Chuck: alright lets hit it, we’re burning daylight out here Chuck, willie and paul climb into the car and they head out Paul: Aww, you guys aren’t going to believe this Chuck: what is it? Paul: What town are we going to? Willie: San Antonio Paul: Right. And what town did we start in? Willie: San Antoni-Damn it Chuck: Alright, you cats calm down. This is a road trip and we’re gonna treat it as such. Dagnabbit, one way or another we’re picking up a hitchhiker. Willie: Alright Paul, head south. This could be a long, strange trip Cut to car driving on an old country road. A man with a saddle bag is seen walking on the side of the road with his thumb out. Chuck: There we go. We finally found one. The car comes to a stop Paul: Hey man, where you goin’? Chris: Def Leppard. You boys mind giving me a ride. Chad, Paul and Willie all grin at each other Paul: Get on in man, that’s where we’re headed

Show the car driving back into town ---------------------------------NEW SCENE--------------------------------------------------------Scene: Def Leppard Concert Characters: Chris, Willie, Chad, Paul, Magga The four boys are waiting in line Chris: This line is forever, we’re never gonna get in before the start Willie: I’m gonna go have a word with the bouncer, see what’s going on Chad thumb palms Chad: Hold on will, I’m an expert at this Chad walks up to the front of the line and catches a look at the bouncer. It is his future wife magga. He puts his hand to his heart and reels back a few steps. Chad: Excuse me, but what’s holding up the line here? Magga: People like you. get back in line. Chad: Hey, how would you like to go get a beer after this? Just you and me. Magga: Are you asking me out on a date? I don’t even know you. Chad: I’ll pay your tab. Magga: Who am I kidding I can’t pass up a free beer. Cut to the inside of the Def Leppard concert Chad (narration): It was like living in a dream. Ooh, I’m getting a chill in my spine just thinking about that evening. All right, I’m just gonna quit talking about it before I get too excited. Montage of the four boys head banging to def leppard. Plenty of moving lights and moving cameras. At one point in the night have magga join them. This scene should emphasize uncontrolled fun. Chad should almost enjoy this scene too much. Slowly fade into Magga and chad having drinks later that night

Magga: (sloppy drunk) So chad, what do you do? Chad: I’m a music major at SA state university Magga: So what do you do with a degree in music, I mean it’s basically circle of fifths right? Pretty basic stuff, right? Chad: I want to conduct a circus one day. And you’d better take back that circle of fifths comment or I’ll make sure you have a hangover until next Tuesday. Magga: Alright, alright. Chad: Hey, I think you’ve had enough. How about I give you a ride home? Chad drives magga home Magga: That was fun Chad, we should do that again sometime Chad: Yeah, here’s my number (chad hands her a sheet of paper) Cut to the next day It is morning, the phone rings Chad: Paul, can you get that for me? Paul, gets off the floor and answers the phone Paul: It’s your call, man Chad: Could you hand it to me? Paul hands chad the phone Chad: Hello? Oh hey hun. Chad: Wait, what did you just say? You want to go where? Chad: Alright, I’ll be there in a little bit. Chad: Will, Paul I’m going to corpus for the week. I’ll see you Sunday night Willie: Good luck man. Paul: See ya.

Cut to montage of Magga and chad at the beach in corpus. Final shot of Chad and Magga laying on the beach Chad: This week has been better than a thin crust sausage pizza Magga: Chad, I love you Chad (narration): I told magga that after I was done with college we could go and get married. Unfortunately, my post graduate years weren’t the easiest. -----------------------------------NEW SCENE------------------------------------------------------Scene: Chad’s post graduate years Location: The streets of Hondo Time: 1983 Chad (narration): After I graduated and got my degree I realized that the demand for circus band conductors isn’t that great. As a result I had to take up a part time job in the prison. Chad: Alright men, that was pretty good but we can do better. I wanna hear some real soul from you guys. A large black man in the back raises his hand Chad: Tyree, yes do we have a question? Tyree: In measure 46 I’m marked as piano but you told me to play forte. Which one do you want? Chad: I want you to play so loud that the man’s toupee in the back flies off his head. Alright folks lets take it from the top. This is blues, I want some emotion. Chad (narration): Unfortunately I couldn’t live on that job alone and sometimes things got pretty desperate. Cut to “will work for pizza montage” Cut to chad at a payphone Chad: Magga. I did it. I got the job. Chad: Yeah, I’m a real blown circus conductor Chad: Looks like we can finally get married

Chad (narration): in December of 1983 Magga and I finally got married. Unfortunately there were a few surprises at the wedding Priest: Do you Magga Shirley Douglas take Chad Wahlfred Young to be your lawfully wedded husband? Magga: Wait, hold on a second. Wahlfred? You said your middle name was james. Chad: Umm…I didn’t think you were listening when we had that conversation. Priest: (under his breath) C’mon woman hurry up we don’t have all day here Someone in the audience sneezes, the whole group yells out “God bless you” Chad: That’s inappropriate in church and that’s inappropriate here Priest: So, magga do you take Chad or not? Magga: I do Cut to after party Chad (Narration): This was probably the happiest day of my life. Show chad being fed cake by magga -----------------------------------------------NEW SCENE------------------------------------------Circus 1985 Chad is circular conducting a circus band. The ring leader walks up and begins to listen to the band. Chad cuts them off. Ringleader: Chad. What was that? With the circles. Chad: I was conducting… Ringleader: You know where else you can make circles? At the unemployment office now get the hell out of here you’re fired. Chad (narration): and just like that the dream was over. I spent the next fifteen years conducting high school bands across the state. In 1993 Magga and I decided to have our first kid, Chuckmeister Wahlfred Young.

Show Chuckmeister circular conducting Chad (narration): It wasn’t long before he was just like his old man. He even learned to play the trumpet. Something I never had the chance to do. In 1995 we had our second kid, Madeline. From a young age she always enjoyed exploring the streets. And quite frankly this concerns me. Chad walks into the chuckmeister’s room Chad: hey son, what are you doing there Chuckmeister: umm…nothing just working on some plans for something Chad: You wouldn’t mind if I had a look would you? Chuckmeister: Don’t make me go all boo radley on you. Because I will Chad: Dagnabbit son, I just want to know what you’re writing Chuckmeister: no Chad: Dagnabbit son, MOVE! It’s like talking to a wall Chuckmeister throws a nearby baseball that hits chad in the stomach, leaving an indention Chad (narration): I never did find out what he was working on, and that baseball left a permanent scar where my navel used to be. Chad (narration): last summer my college friends and I got together once again for a reunion and to catch up on old times. It turns out Paul now works on a farm and a part time water boy. Willie spends his days as an engineer. And that brings us here to today. Look at me, just sitting here telling you this story whi…is that hat your wearing? Pardon me but only ladies wear hats indoors. As I was saying, here I am telling you my story while I wait for my pizza to bake. (chad pulls out a lighter and a spoon full of pizza sauce, he warms the sauce over the lighter then eats it). *ding, the pizza is done. Oh good pizza’s ready. Would you like to join me for a slice? END