A Deliberative Birthday Card

Possibility No. 1: Today is, in fact, Jared's Birthday Deliberation: Well, I seem to remember this being Jared's birthday, but then again I would remember the sameness of the "1"'s--1/11, and all that, which I distinctly remember NOT being there, so no, it can't have been today, it isn't--but in any case, at least I am thinking of his birthday today, so maybe it is; oh well, here goes... Realization: Dear Jared, Sir! Happy Birthday! I hope all is well with you, in the Valley of Silicon, if that is where you are, or Hahvard Yahd, or wherever. I really hope to see you again soon--I enjoy trying to flesh out the limits of science, and I find your ideas very intriguing, especially because I feel like I may disagree with some of them. One could compare us to dogs barking at the moon, but seemingly not making any progress at doing anything to the moon, but such people wouldn't realize how wonderfully elucidating the dogs might find it. Anyway, let me know if you are in town. I might have found a poem that would interest you. Yours, Jonah Possibility No. 2: Jared's birthday was, actually, yesterday, or even the day before Deliberation: But then it couldn't have been the day BEFORE yesterday, I remember it having two numbers, so it must have been 10; not too late then, I suppose. That sounds about right--1/10--or wait, am I confusing that with my mother's birthday, 2/10? Or wait, is that 2/11? Oh dear... Realization: Dear Jared, Happy Belated Birthday! I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, you see I've been so busy here and all, and so I didn't have the time, don't you know. I hope all is well with you, in the Valley of Silicon, if that is where you are. I hear they like to howl at the moon out there on the West Coast--though I imagine that the people of Silicon Valley are a bit more buttoned-down than that. Or is it

buttoned-up? It's hard to imagine they'd be wearing anything with buttons what with the weather they have out there, though it's not been bad here either...people out on Hahvard Yahd, sunbathing no doubt, quite a lot of flesh out; see what you've been missing! Yes, with this global warming, we may have reached the limit of science, or rather nature--a state I completely disagree with, as you'd imagine. Anyway, hope the birthday was fun, Yours, Jonah Possibility No. 3: Jared's birthday is in the future Deliberation: Well, if the cat in the box isn't dead, then... Realization: Dear Jared, Happy Birthday, sir! Yes, this year I'm a bit early, I know, but I wanted to make up for all those times I've been late to breakfasts, etc. Besides, now that I've become a neo-conservative, I am trying to take as many preemptive measures as possible. I know this might put a disagreement between us, you being of Hahvahd Yahd, and me being of Oral Roberts University, but trust me, my life is so much easier now as a neo-conservative. I have much less to worry about; for instance, the environment. All those environmentalists, they're just a bunch of dogs howling at the moon, in my opinion, making wild pronouncements about a thing which they couldn't begin to actually understand. Yes, yes, they should be off like those forward-thinkers on the West Coast, pushing the very limits of science in the name of such an opportant technology--plastic surgery, of course. I understand you're there right now, in Silicone Valley? Anyway, hope the birthday will be fun, Yours, Gov. Jonah W. Bloch-Johnzenegger (R) PS: Bush in '08--third time's a charm!