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THE UBYSSEY

February 24, 2009 | www.ubyssey.ca breaking jaws and drinking smoothies since 1918 | volume xc, number 39 UBC’s official student newspaper is published Tuesdays and Fridays

Record Breakers UBC’S ANNAMAY PIERSE GOES FOR WORLD RECORD

Annamay Pierse in the women’s 200m bAreast finished with a time of 2:18.59, setting a new Canadian record and missing the world record by less than one second. keegan bursaw photo/the ubyssey

by Kathy Yan Li Sports Staff Last weekend, UBC hosted the 2008 Canadian Interuniversity Sports (CIS) championships at the Thunderbird Aquatic Centre. The UBC women’s swim team had fiercely guarded their championship title for the last eleven years, but sadly, a 12 straight title was not to be, as the woman’s team finished second to the Calgary Dinos. The result was reversed on the men’s side, as the managed to take first place for the men’s team championship, defeating the Dinos to win their 11th championship in 12 years. Records were broken this last weekend, many by our very own Thunderbirds. Olympian Annamay Pierse was one of the many athletes that brought glory to our school, breaking four Canadian and CIS records,

Behind the scenes look on Page 5

including one that she set herself last year. Already in her last year of university, she looks to be a medal threat for Canada in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. On the first day, it was the Dinos who dominated the first few events, though Callum Ng won UBC’s first gold medal in the men’s 50m backstroke. Pierse did UBC proud in the very next event, the women’s 100m breatstroke, coming in first and breaking both the Canadian record and the CIS record standing by over a second, with a new time of 1:05.16. She lead the Thunderbirds into an all-win for that event, with Haylee Johnson and Martha McCabe in 2nd and 3rd place respectively. Her younger sister, Hanna Pierse, competed in the 400m individual medley and clinched the gold in that race. In the men’s 400m individual medley, our mens team

came in 0:0.19 seconds behind the Canadian record, bagging the gold for the 4 x 100m freestyle relay. Callum Ng won the gold in the Men’s 100m backstroke and came in second in the 200m Butterfly race. And in the highlight of the competition, Pierse broke the Canadian record in the 200m breaststroke by a whopping a second and a half, with a new record of 2:18.59—just 84 milliseconds short of the world record. But not all the records set over the weekend were by T-Birds. A worthy competitor was Erica Morningstar from the Calgary Dinos. After a Canadian recordbreaking start from Thursday in the 200m freestyle, Erica also took home golds in the 50m freestyle and with her team in the 4 x 200m freestyle relay. However, the story of the weekend on the women’s side

was Pierse. Having broken 4 records this weekend—taking home three golds and two silvers, Annamay was content with her achievements. “It’s been really great. It was a great cap off my university career,” she said, adding, “I had some awesome times, all best times, so I’m really happy with that.” The highlight on the third and last of the championships was certainly the record breaking performance by the Thunderbird men’s team in the 4 X 100m medley relay. The crowd went wild with the commentator spurring the crowd on, repeating the how amazing it was to witness the breaking of a record that was unbroken for seventeen whole years. It was not a moment. With the victory, the UBC men’s swim team clinched the top place for the championships with a total score of 689,

narrowly eclipsing the 661 score of the Dinos. With only a difference of 28 points, the Thunderbird’s win was deemed to be the closest win ever in CIS swimming history. The team celebrated and cheered, oblivious to the remaining award ceremony happening in the background. Gingerale and congratulatory hugs were passed around. Scott Dickens, the men’s swim team captain, was ecstatic that they took back their crown. “We’re the underdogs coming into this meet and we really knew we had to step up our game. All of our swimmers stepped up and really showed that they really wanted this title. For a lot of us, this is our first title as a team. It’s a great feeling to win as my last year as a CIS swimmer. Going out on top is just a great feeling.”U Index

Exclusive online coverage at: www.ubyssey.ca

murder and Armitage: Incest, general pettiness.

Part 2

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Sports Events News Culture Perspectives Sports Streeters Edit Letters Games Comics Sports

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2 | events

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

Events E

Ongoing

Action - Camera: Beijing Performance Photography • Examines the trajectory from the discreet underground performance art community centered in Beijing’s “East Village” in the early 1990s, to a current internationally recognized practice. • January 16, 2009 10:00am - Mon, April 20, 2009 11:00am, For further information please contact: Naomi Sawada at [email protected], tel: (604) 822-3640, or fax: (604) 822-6689, or take a look at www.belkinartgallery.com/_email/_main_belkin/ Action_Camera/ •

February 24 Annuals with Jessica Lea Mayfield and special guests. • Tuesday, February 24 2009. 8:00 pm. $13 advance tickets at Ticketweb, Zulu, Outpost. 19+ event. UBC Pit Pub. •

February 25 Jewish and Mulsim Students Repair the World • Bringing together Vancouver Hillel’s Jewish Students Association (JSA) and the Ismaili Students Association (ISA), working together on behalf of a range of charities. Events include: Little Traveller Doll sales to benefit AIDS-affected women in South Africa, UBC Food Bank benefit sale of chai tea sales and collection of non-perishable food items, Save A Child’s Heart cookie sales to raise money for heart surgery for Developing World children, Creating get-well cards for patients at Children’s Hospital, Bathtub Project– Collecting toiletries for women’s shelters in the Vancouver area. • Wednesday Feb 25 to Friday Feb 27, SUB all day. for more info contact Pat Johnson, Director of Communications, Vancouver Hillel Foundation, at 604-224-4748 (office) or 604-340-9940 (cell). • First Nations Student Association Item Swap & Chili Lunch Fundraiser • Come and recycle your items and join us for a longhousemade lunch. All proceeds go to the First Nations Student Association for future events. • Wednesday, February 25, 12pm–3:00pm, Sty-wet-tan, First Nations House of Learning • Overwhelmed On-Line? Let delicious and iGoogle get you organized • Get yourself updated and hear about some of the latest web tools! You will also learn how to set up accounts, get familiar with basic features and rediscover the joy of exploring the world wide web. • Wednesday, February 25, 2009 1pm–3pm, Terrace

february 24, 2009

If you have an event, e-mail us at [email protected] Lab (4th floor), School of Library, Archival and Information Studies, Irving K. Barber Learning Centre, for more information www.tag. ubc.ca/programs/series-detail. php?series_id=320 • Solving the Economic Crisis: Does Religion Have a Role? • New understandings of the role of religion could assist us in makings the adjustments that humanity requires to make to avoid some of the looming catastrophes of our times. • Wednesday, February 25, 2009 5:30pm–7:00pm, Buch A205, for more info email ubc. [email protected] • The Do’s and Don’ts of Portfolio Development • Providing regular opportunities for presentations, discussion, resource sharing, and networking for the Portfolio community at UBC. • Wednesday, February 25, 2009 1:30–3:00pm, www.tag.ubc.ca/programs/seriesdetail.php?series_id=308 • Quantum of Solace • T”There’s something horribly efficient about you.”What is a quantum of solace anyway? Continuing right after Casino Royale Bond is on his own now. And he’s still all mixed up about that chick.... • Wed, February 25- Sun, March 1, 2009, 7:00pm, Norm Theatre, cost $2 membership, $4 non-member www.ams.ubc.ca • Valkyrie • “You can serve Germany, or the Fuhrer. Not both!” True story: Hitler narrowly avoided assassination by a few of his own generals. Tom Cruise brings the thetans in this historical recreation. • Wed, February 25- Sun, March 1, 2009, 9:30pm, Norm Theatre, cost $2 membership, $4 non-member www.ams.ubc.ca •

February 26 What Makes a Good Product Idea: A Highly Opinionated View presented by TEC-UBC • Geof Auchinleck has 25 years experience in the development of medical devices. Along the way he has come up with some good and many bad ideas for new products. Drawing on his experience in the medical device field, he will describe some of the hard lessons he’s learned about good product ideas and bad product ideas and how you can tell the difference. • February 26th, 2009 5pm–6:00pm, Hennings 202, free pizza • Socrates on Trial • “Steve Wexler, Professor, UBC Faculty of Law, will read his new colloquial translation of “Plato’s Apology.” • Thursday, February 26, 7:00 pm, Regent College Chapel, 5800 Boulevard •

Corona presents: Hot Hot Hot Heat w/Bend Sinister • This is a free show brought to you by the nice folks at Carona. Arrive early to get optimal location. • Thursday, February 26, 2009. 8:00pm. FREE. 19+ event. UBC Pit Pub. •

February 27 Iranian Women’s Movement for Equality and Freedom in 1979 • A presentation by UBC Students for Equality and Freedom in Middle East. Includes a 12 minute documentary film of women’s protests for equal rights in March 1979 in Tehran. • Friday February 27 at 5:30pm Student Union Building Room 214. • UBC Engineering Open House: Explore Engineering • Head to the moon and back with Thunderbird Robotics student team…Meet Rosie the Robot! Play with silly putty and other cool materials! Understand how your drinking water is cleaned… Hear from Engineers Without Borders Students, how to become a Global Engineer… Shake it up and learn about earthquakes! Discover the societal benefits of Formula One motor racing… Win great prizes and enjoy free snacks... Learn from students, faculty and others how engineers make a world of difference! • Fri Feb 27 & Sat Feb 28, 9am–3pm, 2332 Main Mall, Kaiser Building Atrium, For more details, visit: www.engineering.ubc.ca • Mahjong Friday Sessions • Just to let you guys know...the MAHJONG CLUB is BACK! • February 27,Please respond to [email protected] if you are going to attend, because if less than 10 people come, we would host it at our clubroom, downstairs in the sub, next to sprouts which is to the extreme left of the haircut place. If more than 10 people are attending, the session will then be held in the MATH building behind Korener library, room 204. • Microfinance: Theory and Practice • Microfinance has recently gained prominence as an innovative way to bring people in developing countries out of poverty. This lecture will examine microfinance from both a theoretical and a practical perspective. • Friday, February 27, 2009. 3:00 pm–5:00pm, Buch A205. Email for more information: econesa@ interchange.ubc.ca • Canada West Final Four • The Men’s Basketball team will host the Canada West Final Four and will play the Brandon Bobcats in the semifinal. • Feb. 27@ 7pm, location: War Memorial Gym. •

UBC NO PANTS PARTY Because all of life’s problems can be solved while pantless • A UBC-wide pantless party hosted by the infamous, the one, the only, Radical Beer Faction • Friday, February 27, 2009. 8:00 pm–12:00 am, SUB Ballroom. 19+ event, $8 advance tickets, $10 at the door. Email: rbf. [email protected] •

February 28 Basketry - Adirondack-Style • This is a classic splint woven basket associated with the 19th century northeast woodlands. Today this basket is versatile for comfortably carrying and storing all manner of items. You will be using flat reed splints to weave the basket, which measures 12” wide by 8” deep and 14” high. This sturdy basket is sure to become a favourite for years to come. • Saturday February 28 and Sunday March 1, 2009 (one class spanning both days) from 9:30am–4:30pm. UBC Botanical Garden Pavilian - 6804 South West Marine Drive. ADVANCED REGISTRATION REQUIRED—TO REGISTER FOR A COURSE PLEASE CONTACT Nadine Diner at [email protected] OR (604) 822-3928, $170 Garden Member and $180 General Public

March 2 • Violin Masterclass with Kyoko Takezawa • Co-presented with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra with the support of the Jemini Foundation. • 1:30 pm–3:30pm, UBC Recital Hall, 6361 Memorial Road. Free.For more information please email [email protected]. ca • Imagine Your Arts Major Arts Advising: How to Choose the Major that’s Right for YOU • Learn what to consider when selecting a major or minor, including specific Faculty of Arts requirements to be considered.• Monday, March 2, 2009 5:00pm–6:00pm. Register here: secure.students.ubc.ca/workshops/ careers.cfm •

March 3 The Annual TEC Young Entrepreneurs Dinner • This is a networking and informational event where students, entrepreneurs, investors and top company executives share insights and exchange thoughts on current and existing ventures. • Tuesday March 3, 2009, 5:30pm– 9pm, Renaissance Vancouver Hotel Harbourside, cost $20 (includes a full meal), Attire: Business Formal, for more information visit www. tecubc.com •

DO WHAT YOU NEVER DARED TO DO. COME INTO THE UBYSSEY. WE’RE IN SUB 24, OR YOU CAN REACH US AT: UBYSSEY.CA

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THE UBYSSEY February 24th, 2009 volume xc, no 39

Editorial Board coordinating editor Kellan Higgins : [email protected]

news editors

Stephanie Findlay & Justin McElroy : [email protected]

culture editor

Trevor Melanson : [email protected]

sports editor

Shun Endo : [email protected]

features & perspectives editor Joe Rayment : [email protected]

photo editor

Goh Iromoto : [email protected]

production manager

Paul Bucci : [email protected]

sick editor

Celestian Rince : [email protected]

volunteer coordinator Vacant : [email protected]

webmaster

Adam Leggett : [email protected]

multimedia editor

Tara Martellaro : [email protected]

Editorial Office Room 24, Student Union Building 6138 Student Union Boulevard Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1 tel: 604-822-2301 fax: 604-822-9279 web: www.ubyssey.ca e-mail: [email protected]

Business Office Room 23, Student Union Building advertising: 604-822-1654 business office: 604-822-6681 fax: 604-822-1658 e-mail: [email protected] business manager : Fernie Pereira ad traffic : Sabrina Marchand ad design : Gerald Deo

Legal The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organization, and all students are encouraged to participate. Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society. The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP’s guiding principles. Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include your phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done by phone. “Perspectives” are opinion pieces over 300 words but under 750 words and are run according to space. “Freestyles” are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of the writer has been verified. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day before intended publication. Letters received after this point will be published in the following issue unless there is an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff. It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad.

Contributors After an office viewing of “American Psycho” Goh Iromoto, Joe Rayment and Trevor Melanson got into a heated business card debate. Justin McElroy was impressed with Iromoto’s bone finish and raised typeface and Rayment’s card’s tasteful thickness but Shun Endo blew them out of the water with his card’s subtle off-white colouring. Not to be outdone, Tara Martellaro revealed her unorthodox card, portrait instead of landscape with a bold Cambria font. Paul Bucci and Samantha Jung were briefly dazzled. That was before they saw Adam Legget’s - eggshell, Eurostile font and - you won’t believe it - a watermark. Drew Thompson and Aaron Tam gave up. No one could compete with Legget’s quality card. Or could they? Kellan Higgins swooped in, withdrew a silver cardholder and revealed his business card: hand printed by Rebecca Tebrake and Trevor Record, custom-dyed by Isabel Ferreras and Celestian Rince, and painstakingly cut out by Keegan Bursaw and Gavin Fisher. Stephanie Findlay fainted. Cathy Yan Li collapsed. Kyrstin Bain cried. Sarah Eden swooned. Alec Young swore he would outdo Higgins in 3-5 business days when his cards would be ready to pick up from the printers. Pierce Nettling and Kate Barbaria just laughed and laughed and laughed.

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printed on 100% recycled paper

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News

Editors: Stephanie Findlay and Justin McElroy | E-mail: [email protected]

February 24, 2009 | Page 3

Frederick, Monegro hang in suspense over presidency Candidates frustrated that delay in decision is jeopardizing student projects by Samantha Jung Senior News Writer AMS presidential candidates Blake Frederick and Alex Monegro await the the Elections Appeals Committee (EAC) decision that will decide who will be the next AMS president. Frederick’s appeal hearing took place yesterday. The AMS Electoral Code states that a decision must be made within 48 hours of the hearing, meaning a verdict should be reached Wednesday. Many current and incoming executives are hopeful that a decision will be made in time for the AMS’s Annual General Meeting this Friday, which would allow the new executive to enter their roles without any of them having to be appointed to an interim position. According to Frederick, the delay was due to a misunderstanding over the appeals process; some members of the appeals committee thought that all the appeals needed to be heard at once—this is not the case. “It’s been taking way too long from my perspective,” Frederick said. “So I haven’t been able

to transition into the position because there’s been no decision made on the issue yet.” Monegro’s sentiments echoed those of Frederick. “I feel both frustrated and disappointed,” he said. “Frustrated because in order for both me and Blake to move forward with whatever we want to do for the rest of the summer…we need to know what the outcome of this appeal is.” Monegro also expressed his disappointment with the Elections Committee (EC). “All of us that decide to get involved with the AMS or other volunteerdriven organizations must be aware of our responsibilities and duties to the organization that we are part of,” he said. “This is especially true of the EC. They have the duty of being timely not only to Blake, to me and to the outgoing president, but most importantly to all students. The EC is not letting just us down; they are letting down each and every student that voted in these elections.” As for future plans if the hearing does not go in his favour, Monegro says he wants to pursue other options for him to add back to his community

Disqualified presidential candidate Blake Frederick looks on at his appeals hearing. kathy yan li photo/the ubyssey

and to develop himself further in the upcoming year. He said that some of his plans require him to start working now, and he cannot do that with the elections results in limbo. Frederick says that he is thinking in the present and is confident he will win his appeal.

“If the EAC denies my appeal, I will number one, be shocked, and number two, I will take it to Student Court,” he said. “I can’t really speculate beyond that because I haven’t thought past Student Court. I think it’s very, very unlikely, I’m not planning for that scenario.

“I’m really optimistic about what the results of that will be,” Frederick said, “because I am really confident that I will win my appeal, as I haven’t done anything wrong, I haven’t broken any rules, and I the evidence against me is extremely weak.” U

UBC faculty pension plan hit by market crash

Faculty pension pay decreases 13 per cent, those close to retirement hit worst by Rebecca Tebrake News Writer The UBC Faculty Pension Plan (FPP) still holds the confidence of many of its members, despite ending 2008 with its largest loss in 15 years. “My reading of [the losses] is, if in a year when stock markets tumble and most funds took a big bash, to have lost 13 per cent is pretty good….In other words, it tells me they don’t have their eggs all in one basket,” said Dr Philip Resnick, professor of political science. “Nobody likes a minus 13 per cent, but when most funds have lost 25, 30 and 40 per cent, under the circumstances, I’d say that’s a pretty decent performance.” The plan closed the year at $1.1 billion after experiencing a 13 per cent loss in its balanced fund, which represents nearly 85 per cent of pension funds, according to Mike Leslie, executive director of the FPP.

“There are no guarantees on what you get out of the plan at the end of your career, so when the market crashes and you’re 63 that can be a big problem.” —Elizabeth Hodgson, president of the UBC Faculty Association

Harder hit were foreign and Canadian equities, which had 26.48 and 30.69 per cent drops, respectively. The plan still achieved 2 to 3 per cent gains in bond and short-term investments funds. “This last year has been a particularly harsh year, but I think our members understand that when you are in a pension plan, it’s about long term investments,” Leslie said. “If you basically stay the course, there will be ups and downs but hopefully over the longer term there will be good returns.” According to statistics on its website, over the long term the FPP has shown consistent but modest returns, with the average annual rate of return for four of the five funds in the plan between 3.99 and 6.94 per cent during the past ten years. The foreign equities fund is the only fund that demonstrates a consistent loss at -0.93 per cent. “For a long time we were getting a worse rate of return than we’d be getting from the standard indexes, now we have been getting as good or sometimes better,” said Elizabeth Hodgson, President of the UBC Faculty Association. “I think generally people feel good about how the pension plan is running things. The things that are constraining them are clearly outside of their control.” UBC’s FPP is especially vulnerable to the market as a defined contribution plan. This means faculty and the university make set contributions to the plan, and retirement income is a function of the contributions and investment returns. Other universities have a

Elizabeth Hodgeson, president of the faculty association, is satisfied with the Faculty Pension Plan’s performance. andrew thompson photo/the ubyssey

defined benefit plan, meaning members receive a set amount of money regardless of market performance. While there is less risk to the retiree, there can be more risk to the university and students during market volatility. For example, this year Wilfred Laurier University’s defined benefit plan lost 20 per cent of its value. The university was forced to put $16 million of its operational budget into the fund, likely meaning job losses for faculty, and bigger class sizes for students. Pension losses at UBC will not wreak this kind of havoc for the University’s operating budget. The fund is run autonomously from the UBC administration and the Faculty Association, although both are represented. Losses only impact faculty’s retirement income. Most likely to feel the crunch is faculty close to retirement, according to Leslie.

“There are no guarantees on what you get out of the plan at the end of your career, so when the market crashes and you’re 63 this can be a big problem,” said Hodgson. “There is lots of faculty who are uncertain about whether they can retire now given the fact that what they thought they were retiring on has dropped by 15 per cent or more.” According to the Faculty Association, 500 out of UBC’s 3000 faculty members are between the ages of 60-70 years-old. Hodgson believes that the impact of these losses is compounded by the nature of compensation at UBC which can have up to 30 salary increments. “Further, because our salaries rise so slowly, a faculty member who starts at $70,000 could easily take close to 30 years to double that salary to $138,000. This means that our

pensions likewise grow very slowly,” said Hodgson. Still, many professors aren’t worried. Over 80 faculty members gathered for a noon-hour workshop last Wednesday—a meeting characterized by relative calm. Retired professor of psychology, Dr. Tannis MacBeth believes the fund is being well-run. “It is my impression that relative to the situations of other people I know outside of UBC, that this has done quite well in the last year,” said MacBeth. The flexibility of the pension plan helped MacBeth successfully manage her money until retirement and during this time of greater volatility. She moved some money into the less risky short-term investment fund to avoid losses. Resnick has only heard murmurs of people reconsidering their retirement plans over these losses. For his part, Resnick feels confident about the future, barring the total collapse of the economy. “Quite honestly, if one has been contributing as I have into the plan, we are not going to come out as millionaires but we are certainly not going to come out of it destitute without being able to buy a loaf of bread and a litre of milk,” said Resnick. Resnick plans to leave the bulk of his retirement money in the fund once he retires in two or three years. For those concerned about their retirement options, Leslie says the best advice is to consult a financial planner who can advise professors based on a full picture of their net worth. U

4 | news

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

Agenda: Wednesday, February 26 1. Women’s Issue 2. Colours Issue 3. NASH fund raiser update 4. Kate fund raiser update 5. Set date for motivational staff meeting 6. Mary Lynn seminar. Tuesday, March 24 7. Ubyssey board election update 8. Staff restructure meeting

february 24, 2009

News Briefs FREDERICK’S APPEALS HEARING Blake Frederick’s appeal hearing took place this morning. Representing him was Geoff Costelo. Also present were Elections Coordinator Sarina Rehal and Chief Justice Donald McIntyre. The main issue was whether Frederick and losing candidates Tristan Markle and Ale Coates did campaign as a slate, which would have justified the disqualification of Frederick as AMS president by the elections committee on February 6. Rehal said that while there was a focus on enforcing the slate rule during the elections, she admitted

that she told candidates they could go to classrooms together to campaign, but not to plan to go together on a regular basis. Frederick said that he did this within the rules, and that of the 50 classroom announcements he did over the course of his campaign, nine were with VP Finance candidate Ale Coates and/ or VP admin candidate Tristan Markle. In the end, McIntyre said that the way that the bylaw works was confusing, and that he would be contacting Rehal and Costelo to discuss this further. A decision should be made by noon on Wednesday. ­—Samantha Jung

Feeling stressed? Call pooch over

Psychologist claims dogs reduce stress quicker than drugs by Alec Young News Staff There is a growing body of evidence that suggests man’s best friend also helps mental health. That’s according to Dr Stanley Coren, a researcher in the UBC department of psychology, who has just completed a study on dog ownership and depression. His latest work is part of a series of studies that conclude that individuals experience reduced stress levels when in the presence of their pet. When a subject suffering from depression or stress is with their dog, they experience immediate physiological changes, including slower heartbeat, muscle relaxation and more regular breathing patterns. What’s more extraordinary is that the beneficial effect is extremely rapid, especially when compared to medication. While antidepressants can require several weeks to become effective, having a friendly dog nearby can counter stress within thirty seconds to a minute. “We can show that the presence of the dog is actually more stress reducing than having a family member around,” Dr Coren said. He believes this could possibly be because a dog’s affection is almost unconditional. A dog will not criticize in the same way a family member might. Dog ownership also has a benefit for the elderly, who are more prone to clinical depression and require more frequent medical attention. Elderly people with a dog’s companionship are only one quarter as likely to develop clinical depression.

Antidepressants can require several weeks to become effective, having a friendly dog nearby can counter stress within thirty seconds to a minute.

Anecdotal evidence about the health benefits of dog ownership has existed for years. Sigmund Freud claimed that having a chow chow in his office helped calm visiting children. In the 1950s, psychologists began to note positive change in autistic children’s behavior when they were with a dog. Now, says Coren, “we’re finding just how powerful these effects really are. We’re actually taking physiological measures, looking at the chemistry of the blood, finding that this is not just a placebo effect. These are real physiological effects and you can effectively see the stress drain away.” Another study conducted at the University of Pennsylvania found that men who had suffered their first heart attack were much more likely to be alive years later if they owned a dog. Researchers there concluded that the stress reduction offered by the pet helped reduce the effects of coronary disease. The stress-reduction benefit is not breed specific. According to Dr Coren, when it comes to pet-specific therapy a docile Labrador retriever is just as effective as an energetic terrier. As long as the animal is familiar and friendly, it will have a positive effect. Unfortunately for cat lovers, the health benefits of pet ownership are most closely associated with dogs. “Cats tend to be more aloof,” Dr Coren said. “They’re better than nothing, better than [owning] a bowl of fish, but [the benefit] seems to be associated with the level of interaction.” So are Canadian doctors likely to start prescribing dog ownership as a form of therapy in the future? Dr Coren says this is a possibility, especially since there is a cost-benefit ratio to be considered. “If you can eliminate even two visits to a doctor or psychologist over the course of a year, that [saves] $200 or $300,” Coren said. Dr Coren said that the UK is the only country where dogs, usually papillons, are “prescribed” as companions for health reasons. However, the UK National Health Service website offers no information on this practice. U

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Culture

Editor: Trevor Melanson | E-mail: [email protected]

February 24, 2009 | Page 5

CD reviews

THE MATADORS SWEET REVENGE

Armitage tells a twisting tale

Cast and crew are putting in the final touches

In the last week of production, cast and crew put the finishing touches on the set. The week was as stressful as it was exciting. kathy yan li photos/the ubyssey

by Kate Barbaria Culture Writer “You know from experience that it always comes together on opening night, but it’s terrifying every time anyway,” said Armitage director Brendan Albano Sunday evening. It was the last day for the cast and crew to rehearse their production before moving off of their home turf at UBC and into the Havana Theatre Monday morning. Armitage has been in production for over a month and every piece of the puzzle is being pushed into place before the curtain rises on Tuesday. The tension is becoming palpable in these last hours on campus and it is a frantic coordination of props, costumes, set and, of course, actors. Just a week earlier I walked into the scene workshop in Freddy Wood to a warning shout: “Welding!” It may have been ten in the morning, but Wladmirio Woyno was already elbow deep in mysterious bits of bent rebar and wooden braces. Woyno, a theatre production major, designed the Armitage set and was in the primary stages of construction with Albano at his side. The duo proceeded to weld the scattered rebar sections into two giant half-arches, which would be wrapped in rough cloth the next day. Then came a collec-

tion of wooden cubes and low platforms that would serve as the ever-expanding labyrinthine rooms of Zachary Pendragon’s tyrannical mansion in Armitage, Ohio. After two days of steady work, the building blocks were on their way to completion. Woyno brought the halffinished pieces to the cast’s first dress rehearsal. Suddenly, the stage was set. The actors, sporting cravats, waistcoats or highcollared dresses jumped up and down in excitement. But the realization hit quickly that the stage was horrifically small. There was nowhere to fall if the fight scene didn’t go just right. When all twelve cast members were on stage, there was almost no room to breathe, let alone pace or gesture wildly as the characters’ blocking demanded. And the audience would only be five feet away. Daunted or not, David Millar, playing the character James Cornish, explained, “It’s halfway between stage acting and film acting when the audience is that close up. People get it a lot easier because they’re right there.” After a taking a few moments to absorb the realities of the setting they would be working in, the actors tackled the run through with renewed focus. Through the week they plowed through the scenes, pulling out every characterization they had

left to bring that last bit of life to their alter egos. Armitage calls for drastic shifts in time, schizophrenically leaping between eras to retrace the twisting paths of each character related to Zachary Pendragon. Cameron Shepperd, in the leading role of Zach, goes from doddering old patriarch whose spittle I think flew onto my notebook, to youthful casanova with little regard for the people he destroys, and back again. It’s not a role for the uncommitted actor, and it’s taken a month for him to transform convincingly into a depraved man “composing his obituary.” Sheppard said, with cynical regard to his arguably detestable character, “There are parts of it I can relate to and parts that give me nightmares. So it’s been a fun little ride....It’s the first time I’ve ever had to do something where I go from being twenty years old to eighty-one years old. I try out new things and some work and some fail.” The most exciting part of rehearsals are the fight scenes. Armitage does promise incest and murder, after all. The blocking, however carefully planned, never goes quite right. “The adrenaline really starts to pump, and sometimes it’s hard to keep everyone’s safety in mind when that’s going, but you do your best to not actu-

ally stab someone,” said Millar, only half-joking. While they are just using the handle of a spoon to replace a knife, there are still concerns about impalement. Even a simple stage slap requires discussion—the back of the head is a preferable landing place for a blow compared to the ear, which, according to Shepperd, “would totally screw me over.” Despite the stress, stage manager Jenny Backberg kept control of the cast and crew. Looking forward, she said, “Tech week is always the worst. It’s the worst for production, worst for the actors. It’s the highest stress, but like every production, you just do it.” Millar agreed, saying just before the start of Sunday’s rehearsal, “It’s very rare that something horrendous does go wrong. Everyone’s collective energy to make it go well pays off.” He added, perhaps envisioning the hellish two days remaining before opening, “I think it’ll be okay.” Ready or not, the curtain rises for Armitage at eight in the evening on Wednesday, February 25. U Armitage, by Don Nigro, runs February 24 (preview night) to February 28 at the Havana Theatre on Commercial Drive. It is produced by the UBC Players’ Club and directed by UBC student Brendan Albano.

The Matadors are the best psychobilly band we’ve ever heard. Sweet Revenge is a tattered road map to all the things that made Christians afraid of rock ‘n’ roll. Frontman “Hooch” Perkins creates a sonic shrine for binge drinking, no-good women and the whores they drive us to, and Lucifer himself. “The Devil Taught Me How” relates the tale of how Hooch sold his soul to the devil for guitar skills. Hooch obviously got the better end of the deal; his excellent guitar work is a rare variety that reinforces the overall song crafting rather than detracting from it. With a genuine understanding of southern rock, country, folk and blues, the Matadors represent the only psychobilly band to convincingly blend Johnny Cash and the Dead Kennedys. Hooch dabbles in swing for “Bush Party Handjob,” and modern country for “If You’re Going to Bitch, I’m Going to Drink.” Until listening to Sweet Revenge we never understood why skids are dressing like Elvis Presley and Betty Page after a fight with Hot Topic. It makes sense now. Pass the bourbon this way, Hooch. THE NO SHIT SHIRLEYS NUTRIFY We decided to review the album Nutrify based entirely on the name of the group that recorded it, the No Shit Shirleys. The awesome name is the only exciting thing these girls have going for them. The Shirleys lack any unifying sound, meandering from folk to world music from a spattering of continents. The third track is a misguided attempt at rapping, titled “Let Your Belly Hang Free.” It’s an antianorexia anthem that ends up sounding like the rap stylings of authority figures attempting to make uncool things (like abstinence) seem cool. Just like your high school choir, the Shirleys have the annoying habit of vocal vamping to get themselves noticed over the rest of the crowd. Although a few of the ladies are talented singers, they get lost in the muddle of the rest. Standard background music is replaced with nonsense words akin to the adults in Peanuts cartoons. A second-wave feminist group in a third-wave world, the Shirleys are what we would expect if the Guerilla Girls hadn’t been politically savvy, or if the Vagina Monologues didn’t make us chuckle. They are struggling to justify their stalwart support of issues that are no longer issues. —Trevor Record & Kate Barbaria

6 | culture

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

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february 24, 2009

Dubai: Searching for reality in the desert

RE!

McDonalds in Dubai, hometown taste. michelle silongan photo/the ubyssey

by Michelle Silongan Culture Staff More than most places in the world, Dubai is what you make of it. Whether you see it as an oasis of decadence in a turbulent region, a land of opportunity sullied by exploitation, or a confident case study of modernity, Dubai has more angles than its famous “seven-star” Burj Al Arab Hotel. Dubai is perhaps most famous for its shopping, a world center for high fashion and design. However, inside the sprawling Mall of the Emirates are also the more common Western chains, ready for ironic snapshots of McDonalds or La Senza. Extra points if you can get a shot of a traditionally-dressed emirati or citizen of the United Arab Emirates walking past it. The mall’s most famous tenant is Ski Dubai, with five ski runs covering three football fields worth of actual snow. The technology and innovation that has gone into its creation is incredible, but in Dubai, it’s just another thing to do. Wafi is a chic, modestly-sized mall that just happened to have a glass pyramid and a look-alike Luxor Temple. Looming beside one entrance to Wafi are oversized Egyptian statues and a marble obelisk, managing to be both real and fake. Authenticity, like much of what you see here, is just a matter of perspective. The desire to push the boundaries in every way makes glass and sea, sand and concrete bend before the will of architects and engineers. Two of the most famous examples of this are the Palm Jumeirah and the World Archipelago, where towers and mansions rest on man-made islands shaped like a palm tree or even the continents. Scaffolding and construction crews crowd the periphery, a testament to the changing face of Dubai itself. Another shopping mall beckoned later in the evening, gleaming and impressive, but my attention was instead focused on a concrete truck making its way through the traffic. It’s an imposing contrast to the luxury cars, and a reminder of another version of life here: the foreign labourers and workers behind the scenes, working for homes far away as they construct and serve within others. In Carrefour, a hypermarket where frugality wins over extravagance, shopping carts navi-

gate for space around discount displays and workers off for the night. Dubai is at first glimpse an image of multicultural harmony where the world comes together, but the lines of nationality still draw clear hierarchies. Your ethnicity can determine how others act around you, provoking reactions ranging from dismissal to hospitality. Everyone has their place, a clearly defined role that is not breached. So, what was Dubai like before the foreigners and the oil wealth? The Dubai Museum offers a glimpse into that past, showing just how far the emirate has gone in a few short decades. As you take the short walk toward the traditional souk, or marketplace, history seems to come to life in the storefronts selling the same sort of goods you would find centuries ago. After a short and picturesque ride on a water taxi, you can find the gold souk to tempt away your dirhams, the currency of the United Arab Emirates. In every window lies hundreds of ways to spend your tuition money, but fight for a lower price and you could shave the price of a few textbooks off those gold earrings. “Dune bashing” is described as a must in Dubai, so after a 40 minute shuttle trip, I was cascading through sand dunes in a white Toyota. My driver grinned as our car swerved wildly, our tracks tracing down hilltop slopes. A brief stop to watch the setting sun, and then we were back to carving erratic lines into the desert. Out of the car, a night breeze swept over me. I dug my feet deeper into the sand, feeling the landscape shift against my skin. Above the blaring Arabic dance music the stars shone in perfect contrast. This was real. Slowly, the sand became asphalt and the stars became glittering skyscrapers on the horizon—every angle converging into one. Dubai is, in many ways, like a dream. You lose a certain sense of scale, overshadowed by the grandiose, searching for reality where magnificence becomes common place. Here, you can buy into the image of a better you, and whatever you choose to project around you becomes realized. Regardless of whether you recognize them as substance or illusion, Dubai will leave its impression and change your point of view. U

february 24, 2009

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

culture | 7

Hey UBC students! We have two special supplements coming up, and we need coordinators for both. Coordinating an issue is a great way to see what Ubyssey editors have to deal with day to day, and it will hopefully get you interested in the job.  The supplements are: 1. The Women’s Supplement, which is devoted to women’s issues on campus and around the world, and 2. The Colours Supplement, which deals with race and equity issues. If you’re interested in working on either of these, whether it’s contributing or coordinating, come to SUB 24 at 12:00 on Wednesday, or e-mail [email protected]

Delicious Korean and Japanese delicacies. goh

iromoto photo/the ubyssey

Eat until you puke

Shabusen breaks all-you-caneat stereotypes, but service lacks by Jordan Baimel Culture Writer All you can eat: four words that every man dreams of. Yet it conjures up connotations of tasteless food, cheap hotel breakfasts, and cruise ships. Shabusen Yakiniku House, located along Granville Street, provides an exception to such drudgery. The atmosphere of the restaurant is welcoming and cozy. Walls are covered in dark colours, with the restaurant space separated into a sushi bar and table seating. Large windows on the perimeter provide a view of South Granville Street while dim lighting provides a close dining experience. The menu is a mixture of Japanese dishes and Korean BBQ prepared in the traditional way of cooking it yourself—each table is fitted with a miniature grill. Besides the Korean dishes, the all-you-can-eat menu ($21.99 per person) has a variety of Japanese options ranging from sushi, to sashimi to gomae. There are limited options for vegetarians, however, as most dishes are either fish or meat-based. Start with the miso soup and the pork gyoza: succulent fried dumplings of pork and mixed vegetables. They are served with a ginger soy sauce that’s perfect for dipping. The pork gyoza has a crispy and flaky outer shell and crunchy texture. No visit to Shabusen should be complete without trying the Korean BBQ beef. The meat is thinly sliced, served raw in a bowl of marinade, and cooked on your table’s miniature grill. While a fairly simple dish, the combination of flavours from the marinade and grill make it extremely appetizing. The beef is best when combined with steamed rice, creating a perfect

blend of texture and flavour. Chicken, pork and lamb are served in the same way. There is a large selection of fish, which can be wildly inconsistent and range from very chewy to tasteless. However, the tuna sashimi is fairly good and is best cooked by first dipping it in a bowl of soy sauce, and then putting it on the grill. This creates a perfect sear and crispy crust. The sushi menu is fairly conventional with a variety of rolls, tempura and cones. Stay away from the shrimp as it takes a long time to cook and is tasteless. The main downfall of Shabusen is the service, which is subpar at best. The servers are very slow in removing the finished plates and often forget dishes that you have ordered. The menu is entirely in Japanese, and the servers seem annoyed when they have to explain what everything is. In addition, it is impossible to track them down on a busy night. The restaurant gets very crowded during the dinner hour as it is popular with large groups; reservations are necessary. On a Saturday night, the average wait for a table without a reservation is over two hours. On crowded nights service is extremely slow. Shabusen Yakiniku House defies the common misconception of an all-you-can-eat restaurant, but it still has its flaws. The restaurant is great for large groups and dinner parties. Just be aware of long wait times and less than stellar service. However, for a restaurant with an all-you-can-eat price of $21.99, dining out at Shabusen is a fun and filling experience. U Shabusen Yakiniku House (2993 Granville Street, 604-7376888) is open seven days a week from 11:00am-2:30pm (lunch) and 5:00pm-10:30pm (dinner).

O Some simple advice on getting dates Opinion

If you’d like to submit a letter, please contact [email protected]

February 24, 2009 | Page 8

Navigating the mine field of campus dating My name is Ronald Lee and I’m a lifestyle coach specializing in dating and relationships. You may have heard me on The Beat 94.5, seen me on CTV, or read about me in The Georgia Straight. What I do specifically is teach men and women how to meet members of the opposite sex for fabulous dating and relationships. I have a pretty good track record—many of my students are now in relationships and some are even married. When The Ubyssey agreed to run an article on university dating, they told me that a good place to start would be with campus dating dynamics between men and women. I started to reminisce about what it was like when I was in university (the dating environment hasn’t changed much since then) and I thought about the trials and tribulations that taught me the hard lessons I needed to learn about women and relationships. I’ve come a long way since then. When I was a student in university, I was quite the clueless kid when it came to dating. Forget having the answers, I didn’t even know what the questions were. Amazingly, there were women who were interested in me throughout school, but I was still too dumb to have done anything about it. Case in point, I vividly remember a conversation from my first year with a cute blonde friend:

Her: “So, do you know about Tim’s party this weekend?” Me: “Tim? Oh yeah, I heard about it.”—I was lying, I wasn’t popular enough to even know Tim. Her: “So, ah, do you want to go to the party?” Me: “I don’t know...are you going?” Her: “Yeah.” Me: “Okay, see you there.” I remember time standing still and watching her heart shatter in front of my eyes. At the time I wondered to myself, “What is the matter with her?” What was the matter with me is the better question—I didn’t pick up the hint. She wanted to go to the party with me and all I dedicated to was a friendly wave if I happened to see her. She barely got out an “OK” before she scurried away. I wasn’t familiar with the concept of girls asking me out; that’s how brick-headed I was. Two weeks after the party, she had a new boyfriend. Today, things are a lot different. I won’t tell you the whole story of how I eventually became skilled at predicting the future with women, but it suffices to say that a) getting there was a long hard road and b) you can learn from my mistakes. You’re here for an education, but not everything valuable about university comes from books. Now is the time when you should be learning about relationships and expanding your

So, now that you read the news, why not BE the news? Come down to SUB 24 now, or e-mail us at: [email protected] for more information on how to get involved.

emotional intelligence. You are in the largest social circle you’ll ever be in, a circle filled with people who are all in the same boat as you. This is a great opportunity to learn about dating earlier on. The sooner you figure this part of your life out, the less relationship grief you put yourself through in the future. As I considered what to write over the weekend, I realized that our topic was large and broad enough to fill an entire issue of The Ubyssey. So let’s start with the basics: THE TOP THREE WAYS GUYS CAN BE THE CAMPUS STUD. 1. Learn to be a leader. 2. Build your social circle. 3. Learn how to become attractive. THE TOP THREE WAYS GIRLS CAN BE THE CAMPUS PRINCESS. 1. Present your best self. 2. Be open to adventure/ give guys a break. 3. Learn to understand men. U goh iromoto graphic/the ubyssey

Ronald Lee is a dating coach based in Vancouver, B.C. who has seen and heard everything. You can see his work at campussocialstatus.com. This is a trial column for what could become a regular Ubyssey feature. If you have any feedback or would like to put a question about love or dating forward for Ronald to address, please email [email protected].

www.ubyssey.ca www.ubyssey.ca www.ubyssey.ca www.ubyssey.ca www.ubyssey.ca www.ubyssey.ca

SSports

Editor: Shun Endo | E-mail: [email protected]

February 24, 2009 | Page 9

Men’s Basketball bring home Pacific Division title

Will host Canada West Final Four this week and hopes to clinch CIS Championships berth by Shun Endo Sports Editor Two playoff series down, two to go. After sweeping the SFU Clan in the Pacific Division semifinals two weekends ago, the UBC men’s basketball team claimed the division title, sweeping the ninth-ranked Trinity Western Spartans this past weekend in two games. Though some worried that it might come down to the last game of the best-ofthree playoff, the Birds showed the fans at War Memorial Gym that they are a determined team, performing exceptionally well in the closing minutes of both games. As Pacific Division champions, the Thunderbirds will host the Canada West Final Four this week, with the top two teams guaranteed a ticket to the CIS championships in Ottawa. Game 1: UBC 83, TWU 80 It was a rare scene at the War Memorial Gym on Friday evening. The stands were packed with supporters from both teams, the beer garden was fully functioning, fans were on their feet, and most of all, the two teams played one of the most exciting games of the year. Though the nationally number two ranked Thunderbirds got off to a fast start, starting off with a 22–13 lead, it was evident that the usual defense style of the Birds was not functioning. Though UBC forced the Spartans to shoot from outside, they responded by firing threepointers and staying aggressive under the board, cutting UBC’s lead to seven at the half. In the third quarter, the Birds

“From guarding one of the best players in the country to rebounding and just being a force in the post, I thought [Kool] did just a tremendous job.

—Coach Kevin Hanson

appeared to pull away from TWU, with star guard Chris Dyck hitting two consecutive threepointers late in the period. This momentum silenced the Trinity fans, and with a commanding 11 point lead at the end of the frame, it seemed as if UBC was going to finish the Spartans off easily. It was not to be. Trinity came storming back, keyed by threepointers from guard Brian Banman, and gritty play by forward Jamie Vaughan, who lead his team with 23 rebounds and 11 points. A few sloppy turnovers by UBC later, when the fans looked up on the board, the Spartans led 76-71, having gone a 19-3 run to start the fourth quarter. However, in the final two minutes of the game, with the Birds down by four, the comeback began. After a layup by Dyck, who led the team with 28 points, centre Bryson Kool took one for the team as he made a diving steal and passed it to Dyck, who was fouled. With Duck standing at the free-throw line ready to tie the game with forty seconds left, the fifth-year senior made the first shot, but missed the second. Fortunately for the fans, UBC guard Alex Murphy picked up the rebound and returned it to Dyck. As the clock winded down to just 30 seconds remaining, Dyck attempted a fadeaway while doubleteamed, only to see it fall short. But as the ball bounced off the rim, swingman Kyle Watson, who had been silent most of the game, leaped into the air and made the lead-changing layup. A desperation three-point miss later, and UBC pulled out the three-point victory. “I just thought it was a heck of a basketball game,” said head coach Kevin Hanson. “This group is really about the entire team. Different guys made big plays and different points in the game, and Chris [Dyck] is our leader, and he made some great plays down the stretch.” Game 2: UBC 80, TWU 64

Come and visit us online at:

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After an intense game the night before, it was evident early on that both teams still had plenty in the tank for Saturday night’s game, which Trinity needed to win to prolong the series. The Birds led early in the quarter, but the frame ended in a bitter note after Brent Malish allowed a turnover to allow the Spartans to take a 16–15 lead after one. Trinity had a poor shooting effort the entire game, connecting on only 28.8 per cent of their shots. They adjusted by focusing their plays to star forwards Jamie Vaughan and Jacob Doerksen, who combined for 26 points and 17 rebounds and managed to keep close to UBC for most of the game. With UBC up 50–46 going into the final quarter, it appeared that the stage was set for another epic finish in front of the 1,474 fans at War Memorial Gym. But it was not to be, as UBC dominated the last quarter, outscoring Trinity 19–4 in the final quarter, as the Spartans seemed unable to match the defensive intensity and shooting abilities of the Thunderbirds. Leading the charge for the Thunderbirds were fifth-year seniors Chris Dyck (16 points) and Bryson Kool (14 points), with Kool leading the team with eight rebounds, three blocks, and creating difficulties for TWU post players Jamie Vaughan and Jacob Doerksen all night. “Bryson was just a beast and he did a lot of things for us,” commented Hanson. “From guarding one of the best players in the country to rebounding and just being a force in the post, I thought he did just a tremendous job. Full kudos to him coming through for us when we needed it.” All was not lost for the Spartans though, as they received the wild card spot into the Canada West Final Four, to be held this weekend at UBC. U

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Chris Dyck scores against TWU defense. keegan bursaw photo/the ubyssey

E

Editorial

If you’d like to submit a letter, please contact [email protected]

Who wants to be recessionaire?

It’s easy to see the Oscars as a disappointment this year—the winners were pretty safe choices and most wouldn’t have been nominated at all if this were last year. Looking at it another way, they were a good example. These were recession Oscars, and the winners handled it better than any of the banks. The three big winners—The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Milk and Slumdog Millionaire—were all made by respectable directors. Benjamin Button had David Fincher, director of Seven, Fight Club and Zodiac. Slumdog’s director is Danny Boyle, who also directed Trainspotting, Millions and, last year, a neat sci-fi pic called Sunshine. Neither have perfect instincts (Danny Boyle chose not to run screaming from 28 Weeks Later, for example), but they’re both competent and sometimes honestly interesting. Milk was directed by Gus Van Sant, who is an honest to goodness amateur. He won the Palme d’Or for Elephant and earlier this year put out a mostly ignored but very good Paranoid Park. So if for no other reason, it’s worth being happy about the Oscars because they’re supporting some of the good guys who may actually surprise us next year. As important though, we should applaud their financial planning. In fact, we should give them all mortgages. Gus Van Sant sold out a little by making a straight, by-the-numbers biopic, with all the inherent flaws in the genre but all the political appeal that help the Academy forget them. Fincher packed his movie with A-listers and an ass load of money to get that maudlin tone just right. And Danny Boyle, well Boyle couldn’t find a distributor for his movie until it did well in the festivals. Let’s actually not give him a mortgage. Regardless, all three stand to make a fortune on the backs of their wins (Slumdog added eight million dollars to its gross last week alone, which is all right considering it only cost $15 million to make). We should all take a lesson from them and do something safe and money-making in 2009—let’s get knocked up by celebrities or collect cans. Or let’s just take our lesson from Boyle and buy lottery tickets. U

Build us a proper path, UBC

So we all love the glittering new buildings that UBC seems to throw up every time they have the money, the new Irving K Barber Learning Centre being just one example. While these fancy and formidable architectural wonders might bring our glorious university up to being “world class;” UBC has decided that we shouldn’t have one of the basic amenities afforded to the rest of the world’s universities: walkways. Why are we denied proper pathways? Between the bus loop and the SUB, for example, we have a path and then something that looks like a path but is actually a road. So, periodically, lost or lonely cars and postal trucks will meander through the students in an annoying and potentially dangerous dance-off. Students looking to avoid the dance of doom can look right: a 20 foot wide mud pit. Enjoy. Another example of UBC dropping the ball on the walkability of campus is the gravel pit on the north side of the new library. Back before they tore down Main Library (due to some mundane scientific reason like “may collapse in any type of earthquake”) the front area of the library was well maintained and looked pretty nice. Now they have planted some grass in the area, but it is still an ugly twist of gravel and poorly maintained paths. These are only a few examples of the blatant disregard for walkers on campus. I am sure that as you have walked around campus today going to your various classes, you’ve been pushed off a sidewalk to avoid a gaggle of people or hiked across a grass plain to cut a three-minute detour out of your commute. Now we all know UBC isn’t quite as outrageously rich as before. This economic downturn has dropped the endowment from one billion dollars to a paltry $800 million. So we propose that to cut wasteful spending on making paths from scratch, we temporarily stop with pathmaking entirely. Build buildings—sans walkways— and let the students decide where to walk. Then once all the grass has been torn up and the ground is compacted, UBC can easily lay a path down for all to enjoy. Besides, the people who buy white sneakers will know what they’re getting into. And brown shoes match the new condos on Wesbrook. U

Was everyone fine with the decision

Did the election work out?

Yes

I think maybe they are done

yes

No

Are they done? Yes

No way

Student court rules

Don’t lie now

Wait for the appeals committee to sort things out Wait

Done?

no ok

Election Flow Chart

Start

No it didn’t don’t lie hahahahahahhah hahahahahahah

February 24, 2009 | Page 10

Wait Finally done?

Yes okay

Student council will

agree with court lougheed it up

Well looks like it’s another clusterfuck

decide to do a re-election

by Kellan Higgins and Justin McElroy

Letters CONSIDER YOUR DEBATING METHODS As many of you have known, the recent conflict in Gaza has greatly intensified the tension between the Jewish and Arab community on campus. This can be seen from the altercation at the Elmer lecture and from the recent incident between Jewish and Arab students outside of a residence. I understand that this topic is one of the most heated and controversial topics in the world today and both sides have a lot at stake. I also understand that healthy debate on the topic is necessary and constructive, especially for the young and budding minds at UBC. The problem though, is that the debate is not healthy, and is certainly not constructive. I have read through all of the postings at The Ubyssey website as well as talking to a number of people on both sides

of the debate, and it makes me sad to see genuinely intellectual people resorting to petty name calling to get their point across. People on both sides of this argument are doing it. These types of insults will only increase the tensions on campus, and can lead to further violence. No amount of name calling will change the views of the people on the opposite side of the debate, but claims backed by factual evidence have a great chance of doing just that. I urge people who feel the need to argue this, through whatever media, to back all of their facts up with credible sources. Name calling not only increases hatred on campus, but it makes your argument look poor and makes you seem ignorant. I know this seems obvious to a lot of people, but a lot of the arguing is being done poorly. Tension is increasing, and it needs to

stop. I would love to see healthy debate on this topic, because it is obviously important. But the way both sides are arguing is just going to continue to add to the already high tensions on campus. UBC is a highly regarded community of intellectuals; let’s make sure our arguments reflect that. —Mike Shipley Arts 2 If you wish to to submit a letter it must be no longer than 350 words. Your identity will be confirmed by phone or by ID from the office. People may email us at [email protected]

Streeters Annamay Pierse just broke a Canadian record for swimming. What’s one of your swimming experiences?

Toope on... The controversy over the UBC Farm This all started because ten years ago in the OCP, the Farm was designated as a future housing reserve. So the premise had been at that time that it would be a developed plan.” —Stephen Toope, UBC President

Colin Chau Arts 2

“I was at a resort in Puerto Vallarta and they had this kind of lagoon part of their swimming pool, and it’s like an underwater cave. And I got myself stuck in there, and I couldn’t get myself out for like two minutes.”

Lisa Jensen Music 3

“I used to go skinny dipping in the river in January...it felt really invigorating. You get really cold, but then you go out and you’re like, ‘wow I survived that.’”

Kalina Hadziev Commerce 3

“I got so freaked out when I was probably about five on my third lesson... that I got out and cried. And I never went back to swim lessons.”

Sarah Shove Arts 4

“I swam across a lake in Ontario...Lake Simcoe.”

Kathrine Martin Arts 3

“My mom was a really good swimmer but I never was...so she put me in all the lessons...everyone else could swim across the pool, but...I had to just jump from one chair to another in the shallow end.”

—Coordinated by Tara Martellaro and Goh Iromoto, with photos by Kate Barbaria

february 24, 2009

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

BARNABY BY BRAD LOCKE

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games & comics | 11

Crossword

by Kyrstin Bain

4 9 2 8 9 6 2 4 3 9 7 4 8 7 5 5 9 3 8 2 7 9 HARD #51

#4

SUSCOMIC.COM BY MICHAEL BROUND

I-DON’T-CARE COMIC BY MARIA CIRSTEA

ACROSS 1. Weaving machine 5. East Indian vine formerly used to make an intoxicating drink 10. Pornography in general 14. The capital of Samoa 15. Promo-guy 16. Tobacco tool 17. Moses’ list 20. Large type of deer 21. Oils or watercolours 22. T.S., of The Hollow Men 23. A stake used as a target in the game of quoits 24. “Is it or __ it?” 26. Alexander Pope’s medium 29. Carangidae fish 30. Common virus 33. James Bond’s job title 34. The simplest particle of matter 35. Sauce at Thanks. dinner 36. Large Canadian island 39. Dueler’s tool 40. Not well done 41. From this point on 42. To soak 43. Control a horse 44. Mineral deposit 45. A snowman’s eyes 46. Casino machine 47. Don Giovanni or The Magic Flute 50. Top floor 52. A native of Thailand 55. Weekend getaway place 58. The former Persia 59. 1979 science fiction film with Sigourney Weaver 60. The angle where a leaf joins a stem 61. Use a stopwatch 62. Well kept, tidy 63. Clock face

10. Health food wheat 11. A very short dress 12. __ __ no good 13. Check quality 18. Portuguese city noted for port wine 19. Sew up 23. Chop finely 25. Indigenous person of northern Europe 26. Opposite of a spender 27. In awe 28. Something held to be true 29. The rear part of a ship 30. Swiss currency 31. Armstrong of the Tour de France 32. Beneath 34. Currently unoccupied 35. Sport shoe 37. Carbamide 38. Shoddy merchandise, dreck 43. Certain type of horse 44. Flexible 45. Ichabod of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow 46. Infuse, as with tea 47. Notice of death 48. Persian fairy 49. Certain Dutch cheese 51. Sew on lace 52. Certain yellow car 53. The largest continent 54. “__ never work!” 56. East Indian tree yielding a yellow dye 57. Craze

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

DOWN 1. Tardy 2. German subsidiary of General Motors 3. Certain barnyard noise 4. Trendy computer brand 5. Wrist bone resting on the fourth and fifth metacarpal bones 6. Let in 7. Sultanate bordering the UAE and Yemen 8. A mythical monster having the head of man, the body of a lion and the tail of a scorpion 9. A common conjunction

Go to www.ubyssey.ca for the best campus news.

12 | sports

the ubyssey | www.ubyssey.ca

february 24, 2009

Two arts kids find their school spirit

Over the weekend, the Birds took on Trinity Western, drawing some very unlikely (but satisfied) fans by Kate Barbaria & Paul bucci Sports Writers

Birds’ fan gets passionate during the game at the women’s playoff at SFU. andy fang photo/the peak

Children give their support to the Thunderbirds. aaron tam photo/the ubyssey

It was a dark and stormy night. The world was in chaos. Koerners was closed. The Pit was closed. Mahoney’s was too damn expensive. What was there to do for two poor Arts students with dry throats? Sports, it turns out. Last weekend were the championship games of the Pacific Division Finals. Cleverly, they hid a beer garden on the far side of War Memorial Gym. It called to us like sirens to sailors. The admission price was a steep two dollars. Hot dogs were a horrific $3.75. And beer was four bucks. But it was wet, and we were dry. We kept our exteriors calm and reserved in an effort to ward off the effects of groupthink. Red plastic cups in hand, we sipped our chilled beverages cautiously among the fraternal rabble out to cheer on their gladiators. Even the cheerleaders failed to inspire us. Every play deserved a caustic remark. We’re not sure if the game suddenly became interesting, or we grew as people, but two beers later, we were being

mocked by the table staff for our school spirit. Against all odds, we became Thunderbirds. In the third period, the game was tied. We didn’t sit down for the fourth period. At the game, it was decided the best entertainment for a Friday night was not Film Noir and cigarettes in a crowded basement, but a sweaty, testosterone-filled gym with a neurotic mascot, brightly painted fans, and the heroes of the hour, the UBC Thunderbirds. Next, we decided to cover the game. You know, like real sports writers. Turns out, we still don’t know anything about the game. And without the beer, it was a hell of a lot less exciting. But the boys still delivered a crushing defeat to Trinity, and watching their fans crumble underneath the weight of “Na na, hey hey, Goodbye” was nearly orgasmic. Plus we got to talk to the players afterward. Them’s good folks. They know their game, they love playing it, and they do it for the fans. So next weekend, let’s support them as they take on the Motherfuckers from Whereever in the thing that they’re gonna do it in. We’ll be doing it from the beer garden. U