2007 3.wpmay June

August 11: Day With Creative Women

SAVE THE DATES

August 26: Women’s Press Retreat & Fundraiser

May 13

MOTHER’S DAY

Volume XXII, Number 3 May & June, 2007 A Publication of the Women’s Community Center

Voices, Views and Visions of the Women of San Luis Obispo County

of San Luis Obispo County

4

6 National Organization for Women

7 Women’s Stories

9 Voices Around the Table: Memories of Mom & Dad

10 Local Perspectives

12 Women at Work

13 Body and Soul

14 Cover Art by Shirley Kirkes Mar

Community Bulletins

15 Resources for Women

2 Where to find the Women’s Press



Women’sPress

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

Readers, The brouhaha around Don Imus’ inappropriate comments and subsequent firing by CBS is timely given the new section we are introducing in the paper this issue: Talk About It. The Imus issue has us talking about how we have just let shock jocks spew their violent disrespectful statements onto our airwaves and into our psyche without calling for a more civil society. Ellen Goodman called the incident “a stop sign in front of the speeding coarseness of the culture.” She also used a metaphor I liked, saying that “if women are the canaries in this cultural mineshaft, the official name over the mineshaft is incivility.” Our Talk About It section will bring to our awareness the many places and ways that incivility—abuse—exists in our culture, with our section’s focus being on how women are targets and are affected. Those of us who conceived of the section believe that if we don’t talk about it – don’t own the problems – that they can’t change. The challenge and difficulty about any social change efforts are that they take effort! Speaking up for what we believe, which may mean telling someone that how they said or did something is unacceptable, takes courage and might leave you isolated and rejected. In my mind, to act and speak for what we stand for is the highest good. My hope is that “talking about it” will give us common ground on which to walk toward a more civil society. The next steps of growth for the Women’s Press is to get enough volunteers to help us develop our website, database, and a listserv—things that will enable us to keep local women informed about events and issues of particular interest to women. If your skills, interests, and schedule allow, call me (474-6444) and we’ll work together to bring the Press up to its potential as a source of information and inspiration to the women in our county. For other volunteer opportunities, see elsewhere on this page. And save the dates: • August 11 for Day With Creative Women • August 26 for 2nd Annual Women’s Press Retreat and Fundraiser Have a relaxing summer,

STANDING WOMEN

The women of San Luis Obispo call upon the women of the world, from day-old babies to our most senior elders, to stand with us on May 13, 2007, to save the world.

We are standing for the world’s children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them. We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe, and enough food to eat. A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds

If you share this dream, join us

and healthcare to nurture their growing bodies.

at 12:45 on Sunday, May 13,

A world where they have a warm, safe

to stand in silence for five minutes

and loving place to call home.

at 1 PM in the Tranquility Garden,

A world where they don’t live in fear of violence —

the grassy patch between City Hall and

in their home, in their neighborhood, in their school

the Little Theater, on Palm St. near Morro.

or in their world.

We ask you to invite the men and boys

This is the world of which we dream.

you care about to join you.

This is the cause for which we stand.

Please bring bells.

For more information go to STANDINGWOMEN.ORG or call Shana at 541.1736, Eve at 786.4541, or Bobbe at 541.6099

$$$ Join our sales team! $$$

D

o you enjoy the Women’s Press? Would you like to learn new skills and support this women’s publication and the Women’s Community Center? And earn some extra income? We need sales reps. from all parts of the county, North Coast, North County, and South County. We even distribute issues in Santa Maria. You’ll have an opportunity to meet with business women and women-friendly businesses for mutual benefit. One of our special offers is to interview business owners/operators and create a human interest article about them and their services. I have found this to be lots of fun, an opportunity to

MAILING ADDRESS: Women’s Press Women’s Community Center 880 Industrial Way San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 805.544.9313

meet people in a different context and see our service as a win-win situation. Our rates are very affordable and our commission fees give me a welcome added income for my efforts. (20% on all advertising, including renewals and business profiles; 10% one-time development bonus for new accounts) It’s part time because our issues are every two months and we can work as a team to share leads and ideas. If this sounds like something you would enjoy please contact us. Prior experience is not necessary. Contact Carol Dawn, Sales Rep 235-4960

Contributors

Managing Editor: Kathleen Deragon [email protected] Assistant Editor: Amelia Free Layout & Design: Benjamin Lawless Photographer: Lynda Roeller Distribution Manager: Paula Sigman Advertising Team: Carol Dawn, Ben Lawless Subscriptions: [email protected] Ads: [email protected] (Put “ads” or “subscriptions” in subject line)

Submissions Welcomed!

Articles, essays, opinion pieces, letters, artwork, poetry wanted & appreciated. The Women’s Press reserves the right to edit all submissions for content, clarity & length. Contact [email protected] or call 805-544-9313. The opinions expressed in the Women’s Press are those of the authors & do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Women’s Community Center. The Women’s Community Center does not necessarily endorse products or services advertised in the Women’s Press.

Beverly Engel Jeannie Greensfelder Hilda Heifetz Charlene Huggins Laura Hyde Angie King Dianne Legro Evelyn Adams Tyler Aldrich Barbara Atkinson Darya Boland Nancy Booye Rebecca Brown Dee Carroll Kate Czekala Bailey Drechsler Anne Dunbar Maria Foster Angela Henderson Margaret Hennessy Susan Howe

Heather Mendel Denise Nickeson Berta Parrish Adele Sommers Jacqueline Turner Marleen Walmsley Andrea Zeller

Volunteers

Roberta Youtan Kay Michele Kirk Alyson Leblanc Pam Logan Jacky Lopez Elizabeth McGregor Shaba Mohseni Trisha Oksner Anne Quinn Lynda Roeller Shana Ross Renee Sanpei Robin Werderits Dawn Williams

Women’s Community Center Board Angie King, President Kathleen Deragon Susan Howe Jan Potter Robin Werderits

ADVERTISING RATES for publication-ready ads: Business card:

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6000 free copies distributed in SLO County. Subscriptions by mail & by e-mail available.

Women’sPress

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

Where to find Women’s Press

All SLO County Libraries and the following exceptionally fine establishments! • NORTH COUNTY: Atascadero – The Coffee House and Deli, Starbuck’s at Von’s Plaza, Carlene’s Café, Green Goods, Player’s Pizza, Harvest Health Food Store, North County Connection, Senior Center, Women’s Resource Center/Shelter Office; Paso Robles – Cuesta College North Campus, Café Vio, Chelsea Bookshop/Café Novella, Curves, Old Mission Coffee House, DK Donuts, Panolivo French Cafe, NCI Village Thrift Shop, Paso Robles Health Foods; Templeton –  Magic Windows Coffee Café, Twin Cities Hospital, Templeton Market & Deli; Santa Margarita– Santa Margarita Mercantile • NORTHERN COAST: Baywood – Coffee & Things; Cambria – Cambria Connection, Cambria Pines Lodge, Chamber of Commerce, Gym One, La Crema, 7 Sisters, Azevedo Chiropractic, Lilly’s, Alloco’s; Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s Espresso & Dessert, Ocean Front Pizza, Chevron Station, Chamber of Commerce; Los Osos – Starbuck’s, Baywood Laundry, Cad’s, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los Osos Deli, Valley Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon, Coalesce Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders, Sunshine Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee • SAN LUIS OBISPO: Broad St. Laundry, Cool Cats Café, La Crepes, Edna Market, Froggie’s, Art Café, Booboo Records, Creekside Center, GALA, Marigold Nails, Palm Theatre, Susan Polk Insurance, Susan Rodriguez Insurance, Utopia Bakery, Unity Church, Zoe Wells, Naturopath, Cal Poly Library, Center for Alternatives to Violence, Chamber of Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services Clinic, HealthWorks, Healing Alternatives, Jamaca You, Karen Hale Chiropractic, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Monterey Express, Natural Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken Beverage Bistro, Phoenix Books, Planned Parenthood, Rudolph’s Coffee & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing Authority Office, SARP, The Secret Garden, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds Therapy, The Studio Fitness for Women, Two Dogs Coffee, Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair Salon, Tom-Mel Beauty Center, Hempshack, YMCA, KCBX, Fairchild Salon, Jaffa Café, Med Stop (Madonna Plaza) • SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Natural Balance, Mongo’s, World Gym, Act II Boutique, Andreini’s, Central Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Country Kitchen, CurvesAG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services Clinic, Family Chiropractic, Girls Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Hunter’s Landing, Kennedy Club Fitness; Avila Beach– Custom House, Sycamore Hot Springs, Inn at Avila, Avila Grocery; Grover Beach – World Gym, Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 30-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon Store; Nipomo – Anna’s Creekside Coffee House, Healing Touch Spa, Curves, La Placita Market, Slender Lady, Brianna Nicole Spa, World Gym; Pismo Beach – HealthWorks, Honeymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club, Zadok’s; Shell Beach – De Palo & Sons Deli, Seaside Cafe, Steaming Bean • SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Marian Medical Center, Curves on Main and on Broadway, The Bookworm, Lassen’s. • ORCUTT: Loading Dock, Café Ole

There are many ways to contribute to the Women’s Press! ADVERTISE SUBSCRIBE



SAVE THE DATE: Sunday, August 26

Second Annual Women’s Press Retreat and Fundraiser

Gather the Women and Save the World:

Caring for Our Spirit; Caring for Our Earth “We invite women to come together to celebrate women’s true worth; to express our shared concern for our human family and our earth; to learn from each other; and to take our inner knowing to outer action so that we may live peacefully together in a balanced world.”   Look for details after June 1 on the Women’s Press website: www.womenspress-slo.org

Artists! Craftswomen! Volunteers! Participate in the 33rd Annual Day With Creative Women Saturday, August 11, 2007 Mission Plaza 10-5

DONATE TIME TO PROJECTS: • • • • • • •

Getting a monthly film series organized Setting up a listserv Developing a Community Calendar for our website Setting up a database Outreach to other women’s organizations Working with distribution manager to increase locations and subscriptions Contacting potential sponsors

BRING US LEADS ON CONTENT: • • • • •

Women to interview for our Unsung Heroine feature Books to review Artists whose work you’d like to see on our cover Local activities, persons, and issues our readers would be interested in knowing about Ways local women are celebrating their lives and laughing together

Contact 474-6444 or 305-9775 or [email protected]

Calling all Creative Women! The Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County invites you to participate in the 33rd annual Day with Creative Women. This event draws over 2500 people from all around the Central Coast and beyond, and features more than 70 vendors displaying their own creative arts. If you create art or handcrafted items, you are invited to display and sell your works. Entertainers of all types are welcome to perform throughout the day. Non-profit organizations are invited to provide the community with information about your services. Reserve your booth now! Day with Creative Women celebrates women’s creativity with music and enter-

tainment, arts and crafts for display and sale, continuous entertainment, delicious food, and children’s activities (crafts, face painting, and bounce house), and is a fundraising event to benefit the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County, dedicated to the empowerment of women. Entertainment includes Fran Dukehart, Francesca Nemko, and Grady Houser of Triad, Karen Tyler, Sherrie O, Jill Knight. For more information on volunteer opportunities, entertainment, or booth space reservation, contact the Women’s Community Center at 805-544-9313, e-mail [email protected]. You can now load the vendor application from www.wccslo.org.



We Have The Power

Introducing a new section

By Beverly Engel, M.F.T.

As women we have the power to band together to make our voices heard—to speak out against violence toward women and children in all its manifestations. You decide to do something, perform one small action, and suddenly it’s a tide, the momentum is going, and there’s no possibility of turning back. Somehow, even though you thought you foresaw all that would happen, you didn’t know the pace would pick up so. — Amanda Cross

W

e all have the power to help decrease the level of violence in our community and in the world. If we begin with the premise that violence begins at home we can see that small starts, small actions can indeed create huge results. It is our contention that women have the ability to play a particularly powerful role in allevi ating violence. As mothers, we have the power to raise boys who are respectful of girls and women—boys who don’t take advantage of their superior physical strength but who protect and defend females from those who try. We have the power to raise girls who respect themselves enough to take care of themselves—to be assertive when someone attempts to control them, to defend themselves when someone tries to hurt them, and to tell others if either one of these strategies don’t work. As mothers, we can do more than teach our children about good touch and bad touch. We can open the lines of communication between ourselves and our children so that sex can be talked about openly. We can talk to our children very early on about sex in general and sexual abuse in particular. As women, we can come out of denial about our own abuse experiences. We can tell our stories to others to help educate and illuminate. We can reach out for the treatment we need so that we don’t pass the abuse on to our own children. We can get the support we need so that we don’t become romantically involved with men who abuse us or our children. Instead we can become powerful role models for our daughters—role models who marry good, healthy men. We can provide our daughters with loving fathers who

M

orro Bay resident Mary Norby came to me some weeks ago and asked if the Women’s Press would consider starting a column in which lesbian women could tell their stories. Her own granddaughter had a distressing time when she “came out” and Mary believes if there were more forums where lesbians could talk and we could listen, that coming out wouldn’t be so difficult . As she asked me, “Why can’t we talk about it?” I knew we had a title, not just for a lesbian column, but for a whole section in the Press where we could cover issues that too often create barriers between us because they are not easy or pleasant to talk about— in particular, violence against women and children. My commitment to the new section, which we will, indeed, call Talk About It, was strengthened when I heard Angela Davis talk at Cal Poly on March 9. She gave the statistic that, around the world, at least 1 in every 3 women will have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Staggering. I asked myself, “Why does one gender of our species perform so much violence on the other half? What can we women do to prevent it? “ One of our regular contributors, Beverly Engel, is a nationally known expert on abuse, so she and I have come up with the vision for Talk About It, and eventually—we hope—a community movement to stop violence against women and children. We will collaborate with other women’s organizations that already work to prevent violence against women or give women and children a safe haven. We are calling our movement WAVS: Women Aligned for a Violence-free Society. (See mission statement on this page.) We consciously chose not be Women Against anything but Women For something. Identifying what we all can agree on is more important and can lead more readily to solutions than taking oppositional positions. That is where we can find common ground. — Kathleen

treat them with respect and thus send the message that they deserve to be treated well by men. We can provide our sons with healthy fathers who show them by example how to honor and respect women. As women, we can learn the red flags that signal that a man may be abusive. By learning these warning signs we can avoid bringing an abuser into our own lives or the lives of our children. As women, we can reach out to support other women who have been abused—either emotionally, physically or sexually. We can listen to their stories and offer emotional and financial support. Instead of judging women who stay in abusive relationships, we can make the effort to support them in gaining the strength to leave. As women, we have the power to educate ourselves about the prevalence of violence in our community and to educate others. Around the world at least 1 in every 3 women have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Domestic violence is a national tragedy of staggering proportions—up to six million women are believed to be beaten in their homes each year; four million incidents are reported. And there is an epidemic of child molestation spreading across the United States yet few people are aware: 100,000 children are molested a year—1 in every 3 girls and 1 in every 4 boys. As women, we have the power to band together to make our voices heard—to speak out against violence toward women and children in all its manifestations. This section of Women’s Press is a beginning, a place from which to start. We intend to let our voices be heard through our articles, our stories and eventually, our programs. And by banding together with other organizations in the community we plan on taking action that will not only be heard but felt. Please join us in our efforts. Every woman’s voice is important—every woman’s voice can add to the cacophony of voices that can eventually create a shout that is heard around the world.

Mission Statement WAVS: Women Aligned for a Violence-free Society

O

ur mission is to create a community free of domestic and sexual violence. It is our belief that women can be the most powerful force in this endeavor. Our goal is to empower women to stand up and speak out against the violence (emotional, physical, and sexual) that is directed at our children and at women. Although we accept and appreciate the support of good men who also stand against domestic violence and sexual abuse against women and children, we feel that as women we have a unique perspective and a powerful voice in the eradication of these forms of violence.

S

We believe that the eradication of child abuse, domestic violence, and the sexual assault of woman and children is within our power. Each and every one of us has the power to make a significant difference in the lives of women and children around us. To this end, we will be devoting a section in each issue of the Women’s Press to the subject of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault against women. We also plan on presenting a powerful and innovative program designed to educate, illuminate, and empower every woman in our community to become a strong force in stopping these forms of violence.

Why??

We’re Here, We’re...

By Mary Norby

By Sarah Deragon

he is bright. She is articulate. She was in all the high school stage productions. She volunteered in the community. She took all of the advanced placement classes. She is gay. She “came out” in her last half year of her high school senior year. She took part in the gay activities on the campus. She was abandoned by her social peer group. She was on suicide watch for six weeks. She never returned to her school. She went on to her freshman year at Mt. Holyoke College on a scholarship. Her comment on arriving at Mt. Holyoke was, “It feels very safe here, a feeling that I haven’t had in a very long time. It’s good to know that I don’t have to be constantly editing my words or hiding my self for fear of God knows what. I read it, and I cried. I am her grandmother. I read it over again. I ask why?

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irst off, I want to state that I am eternally grateful to my mother and editor of the Women’s Press Kathleen Deragon, and Mary Norby for creating this column. My hope for this column is that it becomes a space in which queer, lesbian, and bisexual women share their stories of struggle, survival, empowerment, and creative endeavors—that it will be a column that also seeks to educate. As the first contributor to this column, I want to say that I identify as queer. Why identify as “queer,” you say? The word queer has a resoundingly negative history in which it was used to describe someone who was abnormal or unusual. In this short space I cannot begin to excavate the histories that created this unfavorable definition. But I do know that queer is now an empowering word used by bisexuals, transgender, intersex, lesbians, and gays to describe themselves. Salvaging the word queer from its unfavorable connotation is one of the many things that queers have done for this society. I hear we also throw fabulous parties! Living a political existence as a queer woman is a most excellent thing to do, and I will contend that politicizing one’s identity is easier than I ever thought. I think that the most important thing any gay woman can do is come out of the closet. Coming out of the closet is not something that happens just one time; it is an ongoing process.

My identity as a queer person demands new attentiveness in my daily life and the same is true for those closest to me. I received many different reactions from my friends and family when I came out. A few of them were devastated, and those I thought would disown me actually offered me unconditional love and support. If someone close to you comes out, I highly recommend that you educate yourself before saying something that you could regret. When a queer person tells you that they are out means that they want to build the capacity to have a closer relationship with you. Thankfully, the resources for families and friends of queer people on the Internet and in print are vast, so please take advantage. Every queer woman’s coming out story is worthy of hearing, and if you know a queer woman, I implore you to ask her to tell you hers. In fact, if you know someone who has a friend or family member who knows someone queer, ask them about their experience as well. Engaging in conversations with people who identify as queer (or who know/love someone who is) is a powerful tool to gain new understandings and disrupt problematic knowledge production. I want to mark that there is no uniform way to be queer nor is there any uniform way to show up as an ally, but to act ethically and at least try could make all the difference in someone’s life. In closing, I would ask the readers of this article to think about the different ways you can engage in ethical conversations with queer people about what faces them everyday.



Stories of Strength, Hope and Healing

My Story By Beverly Engel

I

The Column That Counts Stats on the Abuse of Women

should have become a criminal, a prostitute, or a patient in a n spite of a great deal of public education, we are still mental hospital. I came close to being all three. dealing with a huge problem when it comes to the abuse I should have become a criminal because the sexual of women. Statistics tell us that women continue to be abuse I experienced at nine years old and the rape I suffered abused in record numbers. For example: at twelve filled me with such rage that I acted out against soci The American Medical Association estimates that ety in numerous ways, including hanging out with “bad boys” over 4 million women are victims of severe assaults by boyand shoplifting. friends and husbands each year. I should have become a prostitute because the man who  Around the world, at least 1 in every 3 women molested me taught me to trade my body for attention, preshave been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in ents, and root beer floats. He taught me that my only worth her lifetime. was to give men sexual pleasure.  Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) I should have become a patient in a mental hospital report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or because the emotional abuse and neglect I experienced from boyfriend at some point in their lives. my mother nearly drove me crazy and the sexual abuse almost  Approximately 1 in 5 female high school finished the job. students report being physically and/or sexually The point is that my emotionally and sexually abusive childabused by a dating partner. hood wounded my soul and caused deep psychological dam Three in four women (76 percent) who age and that because of this – and in spite of this – I am who reported they had been raped and/or physically I am today. assaulted since age 18 said that a current or forThe neglect I experienced made me feel unwanted, unlovmer husband, cohabitating partner, or date comable, and unacceptable to society. mitted the assault. The emotional abuse I experienced from my mother caused  Nearly one-fifth of women (18 percent) me to doubt my perceptions, to be self-critical and critical of reported experiencing a completed or attempted rape others. It created a rage inside of me that I turned against at some time in their lives. my mother, myself and others. It caused me to rebel against  Annually in the U.S., 503,485 women are authority figures. It devastated my self-esteem. stalked by an intimate partner. The sexual abuse I experienced created a deep sense of  Seventy-eight percent of stalking victims shame inside me. I felt as if I had a huge mark on me that told are women. everyone there was something wrong with me. It caused me to act out sexually, first by passing the abuse on to other children and then by becoming a promiscuous adult. Every survivor’s story is different and yet at the same time every story is the same. We all suffered fear, pain, humiliation, and shame. Some of us dealt with our shame by turning it into rage and others carried our shame with us throughout our lives. I did both. Some of us had children and worked hard Artwork by Jessica Greenwalt to not pass on the abuse we experienced. Others, like myself, decided not to have children out of fear of passing it on. Some ccording to the dictionary, peace is tried desperately to maintain a relationship with their abusive “the normal freedom from civil comparent(s) while others, like myself, ended up temporarily or motion and violence.” Unfortunately, even permanently separating from them. in many cases, peace isn’t as “normal” I’ll never know who I might have become had I not been as anyone would like. abused. But I do know that, because of the abuse, I developed A solid first step in beginning to some extremely positive qualities. Because of my experiences bring peace to our surroundings is to I developed a great deal of empathy and compassion for other find the strength in oneself to rise people who have suffered. I started helping others as early as above pain and cruelty. I painted high school. I became a Big Sister to a mentally retarded child a woman releasing a dove as a and I became involved with an outreach program sponsored reminder that struggle can only be solved by our local Y.W.C.A. for the adolescents in our local mental with peace. hospital. Because I survived such a horrible childhood, I developed resilience and stamina that helped me weather other difficulties in life. Since I had suffered so much in childhood, I wanted to create a better life for myself and this provided me with the motivation to put myself through college. And because of my abuse experiences, I became very realistic about what humans are capable of. Not all survivors become more empathetic toward othBy Beverly Engel ers— in fact, some close off their hearts and are unable t doesn’t take a lot of time or money for you to join to feel the suffering of others. Not every survivor develops the movement for a violence-free society. In each strength— some are broken by the experience. And some surissue of the Women’s Press we will offer suggesvivors remain in denial and become blind to the abuse of their tions as to how you can begin. We welcome your sugown children. But all those who suffered abuse as a child are gestions as well. indeed survivors with unique and often outstanding qualities. 1. Don’t close yourself off from topics like abuse Although my life has been shaped by my abuse experior homosexuality just because they make you feel ences, I don’t consider my story to be a tragic one. In fact, I uncomfortable. Instead, look a little closer at why topconsider my life story to be one of hope and healing. I truly ics such as these make you feel uneasy. believe that, had I not been abused, my life may not have been 2. A lot of people don’t know what to do when they as interesting. I wouldn’t have become a therapist who specialsee a mother yelling at, berating or hitting her children ized in working with survivors of abuse. I wouldn’t have written in a public place like a supermarket. In most cases, 19 self-help books, mostly about surviving abuse. I may not the best thing to do is simply talk to the mother in a have traveled around the world as much as I have and met so supportive way. Say something like, “It looks like you many interesting people. And I certainly would not have had have your hands full. It can be stressful trying to mana life that is as meaningful as mine has been. For my life has age children while you’re trying to get things done.” In been dedicated to my own healing and the healing of others. It this way you distract her and help her to calm down. has been about gaining understanding about why people hurt But you also validate her experience (raising children one another and why and how shame and abuse gets passed is the hardest job there is and managing kids while on in families. It has been about learning how to have comWhat We’ll Be Talking About you’re in public is incredibly difficult). You also send passion for others and myself and how to forgive others and a subtle but often effective message that others are myself. I am a much wiser, deeper, more compassionate perIn future issues, we will be discussing such topics as: watching her. Of course, there are times when a mothson than I would have been had I not been abused.  Media messages to young women regarding body image er’s behavior is so blatantly abusive that you need to  Subtle verbal violence in TV and print media report her. If you were abused as a child (either emotionally, physi Older women and poverty 3. Don’t allow others to pressure you into marriage cally or sexually), you have your own story to tell. We want to  Use of women’s bodies to sell anything in advertising or having a child if you know you aren’t ready. This is hear your story. We want to witness your pain. But we also  Abuse women will suffer as soldiers return home especially important for those of you who were abused want to hear about your strength and hope and healing. Send  Pay discrimination in the workplace as a child. Make sure you have healed your childhood your story to [email protected] or Women’s Press, wounds before you marry or have children—otherwise c/o Women’s Community Center, 880 Industrial Way, San Luis you risk doing to others what was done to you. Obispo, 93401. (Your name does not have to be printed.)

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Peace

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How You Can Make A Difference

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NOWNews

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

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The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !

Coordinator’s Corner

A movement working toward a family-friendly America

By Angie King

Just in Time for Mother’s Day – MomsRising!!

The invasion of Iraq and its aftermath is still with us, and in addition to the daily reports of violence and death there, and the sorry state of veterans’ care at home, there is also the largely untold story of violence against the women in our armed services. According to the Pentagon (who has been keeping track of these cases for only 3 years), the number of reported cases of sexual assault has increased steadily, 2006 almost 25% more than 2005, but only a third of those reported cases result in any consequences for the perpetrators. And that’s just the reported cases. Women in the military are told to suck it up, don’t endanger the mission, and all sorts of other patriotic responses to their charge of sexual assaults, so that actual assaults are more likely 10 times the reported number. When honoring the military on Memorial Day this year, let’s not forget what war does to ordinary humans living under unworldly conditions. It’s time to find another solution to conflict! The big NOW event this spring was the state NOW convention in San Diego, focusing on examining the walls (real and metaphorical) we place around ourselves. There were great workshops, lots of lively discussion, and a renewal of spirit for the year ahead, as well as a time to renew friendships with NOW members all over the state. We’ll be reporting on the convention at our next meeting, May 15 and making plans to take action on some of the activities proposed by the presenters. Come learn about NOW’s immigration reform initiative, reproductive justice coalitions, information on sex slaves, and more. On the horizon: Pride Day in the Plaza (July 8); National NOW convention in Detroit (July 12-14); Day with Creative Women (August 11); Women’s Equality Day (August 26). Mark your calendars for August 25 – the date of a huge celebration march in support of women’s suffrage in Sacramento, complete with white dresses and horses, just like the 1913 march in Washington DC, so well depicted in Iron Jawed Angels. If there is sufficient interest, we can rent a bus and make a road trip!

According to various studies recently published, women without children make 90 cents to a man’s dollar, mothers make 73 cents, and single mothers make about 60 cents to a man’s dollar; mothers are 44% less likely to be hired than equally qualified non-mothers, and are offered an average of $11,000 lower starting salaries. For MomsRising, a new grassroots web-based movement, this discrimination against motherhood begins to explain why there are so many women and children living in poverty, and why there are so few women in leadership. MomsRising is working toward cultural and political change to build a more family-friendly America. It is non partisan, welcoming aligned organizations with a similar mission, including some of the nation’s strongest women’s organizations, family advocacy groups, mother’s organizations, child advocacy groups, unions, health

care organizations, parenting groups, the faith community, and many other organizations which have aligned missions to build a family-friendly America. NOW is one of those groups. In the 9 months since starting up last June, the MomsRising membership has gone from 0 to nearly 90,000 people. Here’s the Program. Drawing from the MoveOn.org organizing model (and co-founded by Joan Blades, co-founder of MoveOn.org), the MomsRising program is ambitious: • Organize through the web • Leverage the collaborative power of existing organizations • Recruit new organizational and grassroots supporters, many of which have not previously partnered on family issues

Continued in Rising, pg. 7

Reproductive Rights By Angie King

The big news in April, sandwiched between Alberto Gonzalez’s lapses of memory in the Senate and the Virginia Tech massacre, was the Supreme Court’s decision in a pair of cases challenging a law banning a specific type of late-term abortion procedure, the intact extraction. The problem is that with all the rhetoric and multiple opinions in these cases, decided only by one vote (54), no one is quite sure what they mean. Analysts for major pro-choice groups are still reviewing the language; media pundits have come down on both sides of the argument: whether the decision forecloses Roe or not, whether there is anything positive to glean from the language, etc. It appears that only one specific procedure was made illegal, graphically described by the court in its opinion. However, the justices seemed to take great pains to conclude that the basic right to terminate a pregnancy was still intact. Constitutional questions still abound, however, about whether the decision trumps any particular state’s more expansive, more liberal law, such as California. We heard at the state NOW convention that pro-choice groups are contemplating a lawsuit in California to challenge that assertion.

Justice Kennedy writing for the majority seemed to focus on his personal belief that a woman who aborts a pregnancy will inevitably feel such great remorse that it is his duty to prevent her suffering by preventing her from aborting in the first place. Doctors are upset that the court has substituted its political position in place of a medical decision between a patient and her doctor. We should all be concerned that this “original intent” Court has become an arbiter of social policy instead of making a legal decision based on precedent. Congress can overrule the Court by passing federal legislation countering the decision, but that is unlikely to happen soon, with the presidential election campaign already in full swing and with the Iraq invasion still foremost in peoples’ minds. In the meantime, we can hope that doctors will continue to treat women on a case-by-case basis and not be intimidated by the bullies on the right. When abortion was illegal altogether, doctors still performed abortions; they just called it something else. Many have stated they will continue to save women’s lives despite these decisions. There will be much more analysis in the coming months. Stay tuned.

NOW Chapter # CA 565 PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406 SLONOW @ kcbx.net http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow

NOW Calendar May 1 • International Workers’ Day May 1 • Birthday of Mary Harris “Mother Jones”, labor activist, 1830 May 14 • Mother’s Day (see article) May 15 • Birthday of Florence Nightingale, 1858 May 15 • NOW regular meeting, 6 PM May 22 • Amelia Earhart flies Pacific Ocean solo, 1932 May 23 • Birthday of Aileen Hernandez, former NOW president, 1926 May 28 • Equal Pay Act enacted, 1963 June is Pride Month June 11 • First woman promoted to Army general, 1970 June 19 • Juneteenth, anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation June 19 • NOW regular meeting, 6 PM June 21 • WNBA first professional women’s basketball season opened, 1997 June 22 • Birthday of Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 1933 June 23 • Title IX, banning sex discrimination in education enacted 1972 June 28 • NOW founded, 1966

Women’sStories

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

Environments Practical Mysticism? Nurturing By Jeanie Greensfelder By Hilda Heifetz

During my life, there have been very real but unaccountable influences to deal with. They shape our very existence and are unforgettable—even awe-inspiring. Such happenings cause us to listen with respect when others share similar experiences. One of my Mother’s true stories about my older brother comes to mind. He was born in 1911, when infants were referred to as “blue babies,” due to a heart problem. And in those days, it wasn’t unusual for doctors to find they were unable to be of help. Though the doctor gave up on my brother, my Mother wouldn’t and didn’t . . . ! She decided to look outside of the field of science and medicine. She had a neighbor in the New York City apartment house who was referred to (not very kindly) as a “witch.” Actually, she was a follower of the teachings of the Kabalah, a form of mystical Judaism. My Mother, as long as I knew her, was somewhat tuned in to similar beliefs and regularly visited the Chasidic community (prospering even now) in Brooklyn. So it was hardly a leap of faith for her to consult her neighbor about saving the life of my brother, named at birth “Joseph Isaac.” The neighbor listened carefully, worked over the information my Mother shared, meditated for a time, and then instructed my Mother a follows: First, you must change his name. (In the Kabalah, a person’s name contained a portion of his destiny. One doesn’t, therefore, name a newborn after a living person who might then be deprived of fulfilling the purpose of his life.) So following the neighbor’s advice, my parents re-named my brother “David Irving,” the name all of us knew him by. (I have since seen his original name on the issued birth certificate.) Second, you must, with a string, measure the outline of the baby’s body, and then take the string to some secret hiding place to bury it. (This was to give up the flawed body (symbolically) and allow a new body to be formed.) My father did that. Third, you are to sell him to another family. (This was to create a different family environment for the unfolding of his life.) My Mother sold him, again symbolically, for a penny . . . ! Which brings me to the circumstance that moved my Mother to share with me this incredible true story. For we were sitting at the beach in Rockaway New York, many years later, when Mother pointed to a woman sitting on the sand a short distance away. “See that woman over there,” she announced. “I sold your brother Dave to her for a penny when he was a new baby.” Would my Mother have preferred to leave it at that? However, I begged her to tell me more and she gave me the above account. You might want to know that, when we celebrated my brother’s eightieth birthday in Jacksonville, Florida, in 1991, I asked the family if they knew how wonderful it was that he reached this ripe age. It turned out they never knew the story. My brother listened as if for the first time. He never let us know if he ever knew the story or if he preferred to keep it to himself. We all realize that people are often reluctant to share “far out” experiences . . . they are more comfortable with what can be explained. I, for one, like real-life mystery stories, especially when, like this one, they have a happy ending!

I’d always wanted to write, but easily got disheartened with my lack of skills until I joined a writers group that encouraged my first drafts and later offered learning suggestions when I could receive them. I recalled the importance of that nurturing experience when I read Thoreau’s description of a farm couple having tea on an aged wooden table.  They heard a tiny scratching noise and soon an insect emerged from inside the oak table.  An egg, warmed by the teapot, had awakened.  Thoreau suggested that each of us harbor our own eggs that await the right circumstances to hatch, inviting us to the winged life. D. W. Winnicott, a British psychoanalyst, taught that infants need a good holding environment to flourish.  A holding environment includes loving parents or friends who provide appreciation, stability, and reliability.  Those qualities promote growth into adulthood. I look for friends and groups who encourage mutual egg warming.  What experiences warm your heart?

This Small Place By Carla Martinez Reidel

You only get to know a little bit of earth: Outline it carefully with the tip of your finger, the way you skim the skin of a lover under sheets, feeling a spark travel through your body. Mark this space with the length of your vision, the width of seeing where you won’t miss a thing. You’ll recognize the ghosts of everyone you’ve known, hear voices tell stories in leaves and stones. Your body explains the gentle lift of wind in this region. How you move shatters sunlight on the ground, and all things fragile fall. Right here. Now.

RISING Continued from pg. 6

• Provide education and model legislation for state and national legislators • Hold elected officials accountable for their positions on family-friendly issues • Promote change in the private sector, and • Proactively conduct media outreach, public education, and outreach to key traditional and non-traditional constituencies. What MomsRising Stand For. The genesis of MomsRising lies in the sharing of mothers’ stories, collected in the Motherhood Manifesto, which has become the rallying call for the movement. From these stories, MomsRising has identified core issues which not coincidentally, spell out M.O.T.H.E.R. M - Maternity/Paternity Leave: Paid family leave for all parents after a new child comes into the family. O - Open Flexible Work: Give parents the ability to structure their work hours and careers in a way that allows them to meet both business and family needs. This includes flexible work hours and locations, part-time work options, as well as the ability to move in and out of the labor force to raise young children without penalties. T - TV We Choose and Other AfterSchool Programs: Give families safe, educational opportunities for children after the school doors close for the day, including: • Create a clear and independent universal television rating system for parents with technology that allows them to choose what is showing in their own homes; • Support quality educational programming for kids; • Increase access to, and funding, for after school programs. H - Healthcare for All Kids: Provide quality, universal healthcare to all children. E - Excellent Childcare: Quality, affordable childcare should be available to all parents who need it. Childcare providers should be paid at least a living wage and healthcare benefits. R - Realistic and Fair Wages: Two fulltime working parents should be able to earn enough to adequately care for their family. In addition, working mothers must receive equal pay for equal work. What Has Already Been Done. MomsRising has already made strides towards these goals.



For example, • This spring, members sent thousands of e-mail letters to Congress to support the Healthy Families Act. • Washington state members sent over 2,500 e-mail letters asking their state legislators to move a Paid Family and Medical Leave Insurance policy out of committee (they did). • Massachusetts members sent over 300 letters to state legislators to support paid sick days, an unprecedented number there. • In partnership with the Progressive States Network, MomsRising made contact with 1500 state legislative leaders covering all 50 states, sending them a menu of model family-friendly legislation, with multiple options of sample legislation. They also received a copy of the book Motherhood Manifesto and the documentary film on DVD. Check out the model legislation package at: http://www.progressivestates.org/ momsaction • When a woman was kicked off an airplane for breastfeeding, MomsRising members responded, gathering over 20,000 petition signatures in a few short days. Delta Airlines and its subsidiary airline then apologized to the family, improved their training of employees, and are considering supporting the Breastfeeding Promotion Act in Congress. • As a result of film screenings of the Motherhood Manifesto, a group of women and organizations in Pennsylvania (including NOW) have come together to work to end Maternal Pro-

filing (discrimination against mothers in hiring). • Over 600 articles and reports on the issues that MomsRising covers--from the need for healthcare to cover all children, to the reasons paid family leave will help new parents, to childcare issues and more—have been covered by radio, television, blogging, and print outlets across the country. From the New York Times, “Mom’s Mad. And She’s Organized” to CNN Money, “Moms rise up, fight for workplace rights: Mothers, fed up with work-life balance options, join Moms Rising to seek reforms,” and to all the local papers and bloggers, the word is getting out. How You Can Get Involved • Check out the web site (where the information for this article came from – MomsRising.org) • View the Manifesto online or download the book • Sign up to get e-mails • Contribute your own story through the blogs • Have a house party.

The first house party to screen the Motherhood Manifesto film was in Washington, D.C. last fall, hosted by Senator Hillary Clinton, along with Senators Obama, Dodd, and Kennedy. “Despite all the rhetoric about being family-friendly, we have structured a society that is decidedly unfriendly... What’s missing now is a movement. What’s missing now is an organization. That’s why MomsRising is so important.” said Senator Obama that evening.



Women’sStories

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

UnsungHeroine

Marianne Kennedy: Passion Creating Purpose By Berta Parrish

Most people hope for a challenging and rewarding career. We would love to be paid for doing what we love. Pursuing such invigorating vocations, amateurs turn professional and hobbyists become entrepreneurs. With all the many possibilities, who would choose domestic violence? Thankfully, Marianne Kennedy did. After earning a Master’s degree in psychology in her forties and volunteering at a domestic violence shelter in Oceanside, CA, Marianne served as Children’s Program Coordinator at a shelter in Lancaster, becoming the Director of the Woman’s Shelter Program of San Luis Obispo County in 1986. Under her twenty years of leadership, the Woman’s Shelter Program has grown from 3.5 staff members to 27 and from a $130,000 to a $1.5 million annual budget. What keeps her optimistic and excited to work in a field that could be considered overwhelming and depressing? Her countermeasures apply to all of us, as we cope with our various professional and personal challenges. Focus on the positive. Marianne stresses three inspirational sources that consistently reward her efforts: 1) the strength and courage of the women and men overcoming adversity; 2) the openness and resilience of the children; and 3) the kindness and generosity of the community. She says “I see the worst side of human nature, especially between people who say they love each other. But I also see the best side, which far outweighs the negative.” Cultivate a creative outlet. With her husband, David Baumgarten, Marianne is co-producing feature films. Their first, Melinda’s World, is based on a novel that she wrote and is available on Netflix®. Set in the 1950s, the film is about a young girl who escapes her repressive family through music and art. The couple is currently editing a film based on the Robert Nathan novel So Loves Returns that they will soon be taking to film festivals.

Shirley Kirkes Mar This month’s cover artist

Contribute to the community. In addition the extensive responsibilities of her position, Marianne serves as board president for the Pacific Light Opera Theatre and serves on the Housing Trust Fund Commission, which helps develop affordable housing especially for people with special needs. She is also a board member for the Legal Alternatives Corporation which provides free legal services for low income families. These volunteer commitments broaden her interests and give her a chance to serve the greater SLO community. Believe in a cause. Although the judicial system tends to blame the victim and popular culture desensitizes us to violence, Marianne believes that progress has been made. More people consider domestic violence a crime and know about the social services available to assist families. Working in this area is like “planting seeds. It’s a slow process requiring lots of patience.” However, she adds, “If you believe in something, anything can happen. I believe that people want to be good.” At 70, Marianne still loves her job and is not anticipating retirement. She advises everyone to “go after what you’re passionate about. You don’t know where it will lead. You’re never too old to go back to school or to pursue your passion.”

Painting is dance to me. I choreograph the lines, placement, and colors. I gather an idea, photograph my subject, make a mistake, and fight my way to the finish. I love the way a so-called mistake guides and evolves the piece. It’s all so magical. I actu-

ally don’t know if I have much to do with it. I relate my journey as an artist the same way I developed knowledge, experience, and style as a dancer. Talent, perseverance, and tenacity drive the machine. Like dance, I must paint or practice my art daily.

About the artist: “Energetic, enthusiastic and adventuresome are characteristics that describe Shirley Kirkes Mar’s art. Her work, which she describes as “expressionist,” exemplifies fascination with and reverence for the figurative form. She uses bold strokes and colors to imbue her subjects with both motion and emotion. The suggestion of music unconsciously resonates from each painting. You can feel a dancer or animal engage in a realistic participation of a dramatic moment. The sustained, pervasive sense of time, the tilt of the head, the body extension, breathes life into the awareness of physical talent. Many of Kirkes Mar’s paintings have been moments of choreography from her original ballets. Dancing became Kirkes Mar’s way of life from the age of 7, when she started taking dance lessons to remediate a crippling injury. (Funny how later, another injury took dance away, and put art in its place.) At 18, she left her Texas home to pursue a career in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and international venues. She became a featured dancer on television shows and in movies for many years. Shirley choreographed comedy as well as bal-

lets with such stars as: Steve Martin, Carol Burnett, Michael J. Fox, Bernadette Peters, and Henry Winkler. She studied in southern California at the Art Studio in Santa Monica. Shirley has been one of twelve artists selected to paint for the SLO Mozart Festival 2006 and 2007. At present the offBroadway hit show, “Menopause The Musical” has chosen her self-portrait to travel with the musical. Shirley’s works have also been bought or rented for television series and movies; most recently the series “Lost” and “Two and a Half Men”, and the movie “Freedom Rider”. A mother of two and grandmother of three, Kirkes Mar now shares her life with husband, Jeff Mar. Formerly a sound editor and composer for film and television, Mar worked with his wife writing music for their ballet company. Now as a team they are using their musical talents to develop new works. Kirkes Mar values her gifts as an artist, as much as she valued her gift of dance; so putting dance on canvas seems to be the most natural thing to do.”

Voices

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

Voices Around the Table: Jill Turnbow Comedian/Actress My mother used to love to stand on her head.  We never knew why.  But once when I was in the 7th grade, she came home from a formal dinner dance in her chiffon gown with 50 dollars in her hand.  She said, “Look what I won!  They bet me 50 bucks I wouldn’t climb on a table and stand on my head.  Easy money!”   I was both horrified and in awe.  My mother was a riot.   Kathryn Brewer “My dad was a very compassionate man and an avid gardener.  He was particularly proud of his state-of-the-art compost pile complete with recently mail-ordered specialized worms.  One Kansas spring day when I was seven or eight, I found a nest of three baby birds, newly fluffed, that had been dislodged from its tree home.  The mother would not come near.  I knew I had to save the birds, but how?  Then I remembered “the worms.”   I will never forget the look on my dad’s face when he came home from work and my mother spilled the beans about my intervention into Mother Nature.  He was obviously so torn between being proud of me for caring about the birds and furious that I had sacrificed his expensive worms, that he did nothing.  Later he taught me what to do if I ever found baby birds again, and my mother dealt with me for stealing the worms.” 

What is your favorite memory of your mom or dad?

Lynne Levine A few days before my college graduation in Washington, D.C. my Mom came to sightsee.  She stayed with me in my college dormitory room and forgot all about sightseeing - she hung out with me and my friends and became just “one of the girls” and she loved it! Kathleen Deragon We ate a lot of hot fudge sundaes while I was growing up—because my mother couldn’t get fudge to harden. It was a phenomenon we still cannot explain. She tried every recipe she could find and even the never-fail ones failed for her. Once she even had an unbelieving neighbor bring over her favorite recipe and watch as my mother measured the ingredients, put them in the pan, heated them up, and monitored the candy thermometer. Baffled, the neighbor sat down as mom offered her a bowl of ice cream topped with another failed fudge attempt. I recalled all of this recently when I was going through old photos to put in a memory book for Mom’s 80th birthday party. There was a photo of her in teased hair in a flip, victorious smile on her face, holding a pan of fudge at a 90º angle, proving that at least once she had managed to cut and not pour her fudge for all to enjoy.

Jeanie Greensfelder Each February Mother rolled, spindled, and perforated Pillsbury dough with her dreams of winning the bake-off. We children were her tasters. Not unlike the joke about men on a camp-out who agreed that whoever complained about the cooking became the cook, we grimaced, but fearful of her reaction, said, “We love it, we love it.” Pillsbury judges agreed with us. Undaunted, my mother entered jingle contests. Like the mother in the film, Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio, she racked up a television, a mystery-fur collared coat, and a shopping spree--all she could basket at the supermarket in four minutes. We enjoyed the dry run to the A & P to evaluate the most expensive items, but soon tired of canned ham that winter. The high spot of her career was winning a car she couldn’t claim. After Mother submitted her verse, Viv, my married sister dropped by. Viv didn’t like Mom’s entry but found a discard in the wastebasket which she loved. Viv entered it under her hus-

band’s name, and a month later Fred won a Ford Mustang.

One of Mom’s Funnier Moments by The Plastic Heiress, Barbara Atkinson

Roberta’s mother is in the second row from the top, second in on the left.

Roberta Youtan Kay My mother was 39 years old, one month shy of 40, when she had me. However, my father didn’t know her real age. On my birth certificate, she listed her age as 34. My father was 37. In 1941, it was a real stigma for a woman to have gotten married so late in life and since she was 32 years old when she did, she kept her real age a secret from my father for more than 30 years! To make things even worse, she was 2 years



older than my dad so she absolutely HAD to keep this quiet! When my mom turned 65 years old, however, and she found out that she could start collecting Social Security, she finally told him the truth. I always wondered why dates were ripped off of pictures and so many documents were missing! Even her elementary school picture, which is so meaningful to me, has a huge rip in the bottom of it!

As my mother has aged, she’s lost a lot of her sight, but not her wits, although this story may belie that. When I came to SLO and started to care for my mother after my father died, a curious thing began to happen. At the time, there was a two-cushion sofa in the large kitchen/dining area of her nicely appointed condo. It was an old and small sofa-bed whose metal coils and rods were only good for torturing the mean and unkind or a guest you never wanted. After a few minutes of sitting on this sofa, the cushion and I would invariably begin to slide off at a slow, measured pace, landing on the floor if not curtailed. Every time this happened, I would tell my mother that I think she needed a new sofa – this one no longer served its purpose -- but it fell on deaf ears. One day I got up to examine this unwelcoming sofa, carefully removing the cushions. What should I find but an unending supply of flattened plastic bags of every shape and size – at least a hundred of them! No wonder the cushion was sliding. My mother said you never knew when you would need one. How many years had my parents (and their friends) been living with this “sliding couch”. I laughed and laughed telling her this would be my inheritance,

that it would join my other discoveries: the plethora of plastic tubs collected over the years from tub-butter, cream cheese, cottage cheese, deli treats, etc. that took up two full cabinets! Then, over the next month, thinking I was already rich in plastic, I was amused to find stashes of littleto-tiny plastic bags flattened under files in the large desk drawer, more under the desk mat, under other chair pillows, and in her bedroom chest of drawers. There was more plastic storage in the garage – the bubble-wrap and foam from seemingly every item she’d ever purchased. This garage plastic joined a stack of boxes taking up a fourth of the garage that once housed appliance and catalog purchases she now owned, and two oversized hooks from where large handled paper bags were hung. I began the plastic purge, knowing that if a certain size of plastic bag was needed and couldn’t be found, I’d never be forgiven. But the need never arose. I managed to lower the box count, but lost ground to my mother’s complaints about getting rid of some the bubble wrap or the handled paper bags – after all, you never know... They’re still there. And oh, if you need any, please, let me know. It will make my mother feel good.

10

LocalPerspectives

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

Single-Payer Insurance:

BookReview

An Rx for California’s Ailing Health Care System By Donna Sullivan

Debunking the Big Boys By Charlene Huggins

Ellen Bravo is a life time advocate of women’s equality, and in her new book Taking on the Big Boys she presents the undeniable argument that feminism is “good for families, business, and the Nation.” Through anecdote, facts and personal experience, Bravo illustrates the need for change in government policy and the need for more public action to eradicate the barriers of economic and domestic disparity, which still exist in our society today. She also debunks the prevailing “Big Boy” myths that support these injustices. For example, that the workplace is family friendly or women’s work is equally valued to males. Bravo points out that these types of myths minimize and stifle any real change within the culture or within our society. The “Big Boys” are defined as, “the ones who control wealth and power in this coun-

try.” “Some may even wear high heels and lipstick.” They have the most to gain in perpetuating the illusion that women have it better than ever and that equality has been achieved. Any effort to change the status quo seems insurmountable, but Bravo encourages change. The beauty of Bravo’s book is that she organizes her arguments into very clear, precise titles and chapters. She explains the myth, proves the reality, and offers solutions. She understands the resistance of women today to work for social changes like the feminist of the past, and she’s aware that most women are at a loss when considering how to begin. Her last chapter titled,” How You Can Get There” offers a myriad of ideas for all who,” dare to imagine the world as it should be and work to make it happen.”

How would your life be different if you didn’t have to worry about health insurance? It’s not unusual for people shape their lives around a need for access to health care. Are you locked into a job that isn’t a good fit for you, but that you need because of the benefits? Many families are just one major illness away from financial ruin. Early in my nursing career I was stunned when a patient had to declare bankruptcy because of her illness: A professional woman in her forties, she developed cancer. She was unable to work because of her illness and lost her health insurance. Her savings were quickly gone; she maxed out her credit cards, declared bankruptcy and went to live with her elderly parents who were frail and in poor health themselves. We now know that 50% of bankruptcies are due at least in part to medical bills, and that 75% of those people started out with health insurance. Women, even more than men, are intensely concerned about rising health care costs and are looking for action. Last year the U.S. Women’s Chamber of Commerce launched a study called Access to Health: An American Values Initiative. Their premise is that access to affordable health care is a right, not a privilege. They found it a huge concern that one in four women report they can’t afford to see a doctor even if they have health insurance. Fixing health care is finally a frontburner issue. At state and national levels politicians, corporations, and other decision makers (not just activists) are abuzz with ideas and plans to repair our broken system. New coalitions of employers, unions, insurers, consumers and medical groups have formed even though some of these have never before seen eye to eye.

The California Legislature has a number of possible reforms on the table. Some provide for universal health care and some do not; some have individual mandates for health care coverage; and some have an employee mandate to participate in the coverage provided by their employers. Employer responsibility to provide coverage differs among the plans, and some encourage the use of Health Savings Accounts. Cost containment and financing vary widely. The League of Women Voters of California has long held a position in support of universal health care with a single-payer system as proposed in Senator Sheila Kuehl’s bill, SB 840. The “single payer” would be a newly created state agency to assume the role of the insurance company, using the state’s considerable purchasing power to negotiate bulk-rate prices with medical providers from pharmacies to hospitals. The plan would ensure choice of providers, affordability, accessibility, cost controls, and contributions from individuals and employers based on ability to pay. It is patient-centered and significantly improves the quality of our health care system as well. You are invited to become involved. Learn more by visiting www.healthcareforall.org. Donna Sullivan is director of action and health issues for the League of Women Voters of SLO County. She is also a member of the local chapter of Health Care for All and a registered nurse. Donna also served as program director of Senior Peer Counseling in the county and continues to volunteer with this unique program, which involves counseling seniors in their homes.

LocalPerspectives

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

Deaf, Dumb & Blind

Adapt or reject?

If you look at the history of this once-great nation, you will see that Americans have been forced to endure all types of presidencies. We had a president (Roosevelt) who was physically challenged, but managed to bring us into World War II and back; we had the womanizing president (Kennedy) who (luckily?) died before he lost his cult status; the impeached president (Nixon) who was later exonerated because, in retrospect, we have seen far worse governmental offenses; there was the cheating and lying semi-impeached president (Clinton) who was beloved like a sex symbol or rock star. What about President Reagan who went through almost his whole second term with sleep apnea, epilepsy, or Alzheimer’s! Our current president (Bush) suffers from three major handicaps— he is Deaf, Dumb, and Blind! He is Deaf to the cries of the masses that are crying out in pain due to death, destruction, disease, torture, loss of self-esteem, lack of freedom and human dignity. How can he not hear peoples’ desperate weeping due to his administration’s lack of humanity... the murder of souls and the destruction of families? He is Deaf to our nation’s screams! He is Dumb (numb?) to the fact that in the last election, the majority voted against him – sought to overthrow his policies and rejected his colleagues – trying to send him

I had a real negative reaction to the Associated Press article in the April 12 Tribune on how board game manufacturers are developing short versions of such classics as Monopoly, Scrabble, and Sorry. The reason given was that parents want to spend time playing games with their children but they don’t have the hours those games take to do it. The marketplace has adapted. Parents will buy the games and be grateful for the option and enjoy the time with their children. And that’s a good thing. But, I thought, wouldn’t it be better to have more time and not have to adapt to having less of it? Maybe we need to see the toy company’s response to our reduced availability to our children as a trend we need to reject. Is it even possible to make more time to spend with our children? And if not, why not? And if we know the current situation is not okay, what will it take to start a dialogue in our society about making changes so that parents don’t have to look at their watches when they are with their children? What forces brought us to this point: both parents needing to work to make ends meet, too exhausted when they come home to interact with their children? Single parents carrying financial burdens alone, even more strapped for time and energy? At what point do we say no more! and begin

By Delores Del Rio

and his constituents a Message! That election was six months ago, and still we are in the midst of an Iraqi conflict that has no end in sight and no game plan. Not only that, but the big B--- wants the United States to send additional money and more troops to a war-ravaged country that neither wants our help nor recognizes that we are helping them at all. He is Blind to the fact that his place in history will be permanently scarred by an unpopular and ridiculous war that cost billions of dollars, and thousands of civilian and military lives. This money could have been used to help pressing domestic issues such as health care, education, and dissolution of poverty, or universal issues such as global warming, preservation of natural resources, and the elimination of world hunger. He is Blind to the fact that, during his tenure in office, the United States has seen a major decline in world status -- we are now loathed instead of loved. He is Blind to the sorrow his presidency has caused; Blind to the loss of human lives; Blind to the cost his decisions have caused to this planet. (Future generations will have to bear the burden, I am afraid!) Let us hope and pray that our next president will be neither a warmonger nor Deaf, Dumb & Blind.

11

By Kathleen Deragon

to gather and discuss how to create a more family-friendly society? Simply, at the base of this issue is how we as a society value our children. If what we are doing is not giving us the time and energy to provide our children with what they need to grow into caring human beings—not consumers, but caring persons—what can we do differently? Need to do differently? • Many solutions come to mind: • Buy less so we have to work less • Reject “busyness” and embrace leisure • Job share so that parents can spend more time at home • Shorten work weeks • Establish more opportunities for flextime and flexplace • Develop onsite childcare centers so parents can see children during the day • Subsidize childcare • Pay for parental leave • Form babysitting coops so parents don’t have to pay for babysitters and children feel part of a community of other loving parents • Build communities where all adults take responsibility for raising our children Will we make the decisions? Or will we let corporate entities make it for us?

12

WomenatWork

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

The “Speaking for Clients” Recipe By Dianne Legro

This recipe has been handed down to speakers since Moby Dick was a minnow. I have adapted it, added some very special ingredients of my own, coach it, and I know it “cooks.” My clients are watching it work and you can, too. Don’t get overwhelmed by the steps. This is something you can do. Just like any recipe ingredients you assemble, the resources are out there – most of them right in your own phone book. With a dash of patience, this recipe will help you attract more clients and help your business flourish if you follow it faithfully. • Decide on a topic that is relevant to your market audience and create a catchy title • Do a short write up for your talk that explains the benefits • Create a bio and information sheet on your business for the “Speakers Package” • Create a contact sheet to track your campaign • Research organizations that would be your best audiences and clients for your business • Track down the program directors for these groups • Develop and practice a good “cold call” to the program directors • Call the program directors and pitch your talk • Send them your speaker’s package • Follow up in a few days to answer any questions they may have • Implement a keep-in-touch phone and email campaign until you book some talks • Create a detailed flyer/ press release to promote your event. Send it to your database • Coordinate regularly with your organization about room size, sound equipment, lighting • Prepare your talk!! Create a good outline and handouts

Maximize Your Advertising Dollars Feature Author, Lori Rai

• PRACTICE your talk. Memorize your opening and closing. It’s ok to refer to notes in the middle • Create an ending with a call-to-action close and PRACTICE IT!!!!! • Dress and groom for your company image or service group image. • Get there early and get comfortable with your stage area and microphone • Collect business cards or e-mails with a sign up sheet • Follow up with phone calls as you promised after the talk. • Set up appointments with qualified clients • Turn your prospects into clients with a great interview and pitch when you meet them. Congratulations to all of the focused and committed entrepreneurial women who came out recently for the Women’s Forum at Hancock College! It was a great turnout and I was honored to present to so many of you who are building businesses and defining your marketing with heart and meaning. Dianne Legro is a national speech coach to individuals and corporate groups. She is a keynote speaker and will help you to speak like a pro and increase your business. Contact her at [email protected].

Getting Unstuck: Part 2 By Denise Nickeson

In the last issue, we talked about some of the obstacles to change that can keep us in unhealthy, unpleasant situations in our lives, unable to reach our goals. Today we’ll look at how we can begin to dismantle those barriers. Because of this column’s space limitations, we’ll take a look at the top 3. Barrier #1. Low Self Esteem. Without raising self-esteem and starting to believe you deserve a better life, you will have no motivation to dismantle the other barriers or try to change in any way. An exercise to build self-esteem is to think about people you believe have high self-esteem. Ask yourself: How do they show their self-esteem? How can you tell they like themselves? How does their self-esteem work for them? For each way these people exhibit their self-esteem, write down that characteristic below their name. After you list the characteristics for the people you’ve chosen, create a list for yourself with your qualities. Next list the qualities you would like to have and the ways that these high self-esteem models might serve as a mentor or model to you. Barrier #2. Not Seeing Alternatives. Asking for help is particularly beneficial strategy when you cannot see available alternatives or make decisions about the options you do see. Help can come in the form of a counselor, coach, support group, or just a good friend. Getting an objective take on a particular decision or option can also help point you in a new direction or stimulate more productive thinking. Another effective way to stimulate thinking is to brainstorm. Brainstorming is just about identifying options (the more the better) and listing them--

MindYourBusiness

In today’s business environment, you need to maximize your advertising dollars more than ever before. If you haven’t found your target market, then you are letting dollars flow out the door, but for many business owners finding that target market can be difficult. You might say, “I have no idea what my ‘real’ target market is.” You may have a business that attracts a variety of clients so it becomes difficult to know just where to maximize your advertising dollars. Here some simple steps to get the “bang for the buck” you desire. Step #1. Target the Market – You must decide on who is your target market. If you have been in business for at least a year then look over your current client list and determine who is buying from you the most. If you have not been in business long, you need to pick a target client and then determine if indeed they are your target market. Step #2. Focus the Market – Once you have that target, client then focus your energy and budget on them. If the target market is; females, 35-45, earning 55-65K, then you need to find places where these customers “hang out” and spend time with them. The more you can know about your target market the easier it becomes to reach them. Step #3. Keep it Clear – Given the target client above – let’s say they are getting most of their information by watching network news – you would want your message on the news program. It has to be a very clear message, so avoid advertising that is confusing the message. You need to convey the following information each and every time; who you are, what you offer, why the need it, and how they find you. Step #4. Track It – It isn’t enough just to have advertising, you must also track the advertising to be sure you are reaching your target market. Don’t give up too soon. But

if you have been running ads for at least 6 months and tracking shows it isn’t working, change it. Step#5. Ask the Question – Final point – but also the most important – ask your target clients where they get their information. Use this to help you place your advertising so it will attract your target market. If your clients don’t watch network news, then don’t buy it. If instead they read the local paper or listen to a local station, then go there to broadcast your message. If you follow these five steps you will find that your advertising dollars will be working harder for your business. Remember, people can’t buy what you have to offer if they don’t know how to find you. Feature Author Lori Rai is the Interim Women’s Business Partners’ Program Director. Ms. Rai is writing on behalf of Andrea Zeller the Executive Director of Mission Community Services (MCSC). MCSC coordinates Women’s Business Partners (WBP), which serves everyone interested in establishing self-sufficiency through small business ownership while primarily focusing assistance towards socially and economically disadvantaged women. Visit www.MCSCorp.org or call 595-1357 to find out more. Se Habla Espanol

Clients or Customers? You Decide By Adele Sommers

without editing and without judgment--for evaluation later. Brainstorming can be used to generate alternatives to any situation. Barrier #3. Not Knowing What You Really Want. Values clarification simply means knowing what is important to you, knowing what you really want out of life. One clarification strategy is to create a planning “board.” Divide up 2 sheets of paper into 12 equal slips. Anytime you have a decision to make, are thinking about a change, or need to clarify what you actually want from a given situation, write the points to consider on the slips of paper and arrange them in order of their importance to you. For example, a relationship planning board will have you asking yourself: What is important to me in a relationship? A job planning board will ask: What do I really want from a job? The saying “A journey begins with a single step” is no more true than with your change efforts. That first step will be not be easy, but getting started and keeping that momentum going is easier when you plan for self-improvement, identify potential barriers, and begin to move beyond them. As Sidney Simon says in his book, Getting Unstuck, “imperfect movement is better than perfect paralysis”. Do it. Do it. Do it. Denise Nickeson’s background includes working as an employment trainer/job coach for an occupational training center as well as a personnel manager and corporate trainer for desktop support services company in Silicon Valley. She is available for private career assessment and job coaching services. You can reach her at [email protected].

In the English language, we make an interesting semantic distinction between the words “customer” and “client.” Sometimes we use these expressions interchangeably in English, but more often than not, we intend them to mean something different. Below are some composite definitions from various dictionaries: • Customer: A person who purchases goods or services from another; a buyer or patron. • Client: The party for whom professional services are rendered; anyone under the patronage of, or receiving the benefits and services of, another person. Notice how the term “client” implies much more of a caring, fiduciary role for the benefit provider. It strongly suggests the presence of a relationship -- one that will endure over time to enable the benefit provider to continue providing benefits. The term “customer,” on the other hand, suggests that a relationship, if any, forms only when a purchase is made -- and that the relationship might dissipate soon after. Whatever you call the people to whom you offer products or services, consider the subtle but important value of using the term “client” when thinking of them. People will sense that difference and respond positively to your concern for their well being. It will be a relief for them to feel that you’re looking out for their welfare, and not trying to push them into taking any action unless it is clearly in their best interests. While you are thinking about your clients and customers, ask yourself the following:

1) Are you their greatest fan and supporter? Along the lines of encouragement, do you take every occasion to acknowledge and congratulate their successes, as modest or significant as they might be? Since they have honored you by requesting your aid, and you have been privileged to provide assistance, you can help them celebrate the results! 2) Do you aim to ensure their downstream success? Are you consciously considering the success of not just your clients, but also your clients’ clients, and even your clients’ clients’ clients? In conclusion, by striving to produce an ongoing series of benefits and satisfaction, you will be providing products, services, or other offerings that not only fill your coffers, but also provide significant and lasting returns to your clients and customers. Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business performance consultant who helps entrepreneurs align their life passions with their business purpose. She also guides organizations through “tactical tune-ups” and “strategic makeovers” in individual or group sessions. Contact her today for a free initial consultation at Adele@ LearnShareProsper.com, or 805-462-2199.

Body&Soul

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

Peace Begins at Home

Eat for $15 a Week in SLO County (And It’s Healthy!)

by Laura Hyde

By Marleen Walmsley

All minds are joined. Therefore, all healing is self-healing. Our inner peace will, of itself, pass to others once we accept it for ourselves. — Gerald G. Jampolsky

You think that you can’t do it? Sure you can. With the increasing costs of gas and the resulting costs of consumer goods, it helps to manage our food budget a little better. Without sacrificing nutrition, I set out to do it on a dare one Saturday morning. Comparing Ralph’s, Albertson’s, Von’s and Spencer’s, I came up with a weekly grocery list that comes under $15 a head and meets all dietary guidelines. Substitute items each week with alternatives listed here so you won’t be bored. It doesn’t include the cost of spices, olive oil or butter, but even tailoring for those items, you can still do it. And be full all the time.

Many years ago, I heard someone state that it’s impossible to have a healthy or successful life if one’s home is lacking peace and harmony. Immediately, that rang true for me. For how can one be a messenger of peace if drama, chaos, and grievances co-exist within one’s home—the very foundation where one’s physical, spiritual, and emotional being resides? I’ve met people who have prided themselves for taking political action toward world peace and people who have served on religious committees for world healing. And too often, some of these same people have not addressed the anger simmering beneath the surface of their own families, or sought to heal the resentments within their own minds. What is the “emotional climate” of your home? If we are withholding love, blaming or accusing those closest to us, then how effectively can we be bearers of peace? Or for that matter, how can we be of service in any meaningful way? A Course in Miracles teaches, “Peace is clearly an internal matter. It must begin with your own thoughts then extend outward.” During this time of upheaval, uncertainty and war, we naturally want to stop the violence and hostility. Most of us want to see it stop “out there,” and so we focus on what the boss, government, community, and so forth, must do differently. Yet the truth remains that the world outside of us stems from our inner condition. Peace “out there” will only occur to the extent that we heal our own violent, angry, judgmental and victim-oriented thoughts. Peace is an inside job.

Practice the following exercise and watch as peace gently soothes your mind and soul: • Search your mind for anger-provoking situations, upsetting personalities or events, or anything else in which you are harboring unloving thoughts or feelings. Begin with the situations and people closest to your heart. • Note them as informally as possible and let them rise one-by-one, repeating to yourself, “I could see peace in this situation [or with this person] instead of what I now see.” • Keep repeating the choice for peace until you feel some sense of relief, then go to the next level of healing by repeating, “I am willing to see peace in this situation instead of what I now see.” • Next, deepen your sense of inner peace by repeating, “I choose to see peace in this situation instead of what I now see.” • Finally, allow yourself to fully surrender by repeating, “Through the eyes of love, I see only peace in this situation.” Laura V. Hyde is the Spiritual Leader of the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment in San Luis Obispo, CA: www.spiritualcircle.org. Laura is also the author of the books Gifts of the Soul and The Intimate Soul, and the host of the show “Relationship Wisdom” on San Luis Obispo Public Access Television. Visit Laura at: www.laurahyde.com or call: 805.748.7506

SpiritualityMatters

What Is Your Memory of Choice? By Heather Mendel

In Judaism, no one ever dies as long as someone remembers them. For this reason, on the anniversary of a loved one’s death, the Kaddish, a prayer of remembrance, is said by those who hold dear the memories of the deceased. And what is it we really remember? Ultimately it is not the height, weight, complexion, or the color of eyes or hair that remain with us after the death of a loved one. It is something of the spirit of the person that lingers— often the values that motivated their behavior, comical or wistful, that we recall. Memory can be kind. When we think of parents long gone, parents who may have suffered from lingering illnesses at the end of their lives, many of us find that those painful memories are not the ones that bubble to consciousness when we remember them. Our memory bank opens for us to other times and seasons. Images resurface of our loved ones still healthy and vigorous. A recent Japanese film entitled After Life presents a waiting room where those recently deceased spend a short time before moving on. During the week they have access to the waiting room, they are asked to think about their lives and choose the one memory they wish to keep with them for eternity. All other memories will be lost to them. What would be the defining memory of each of our lives, if we had to choose? For how many of us would that image take us back to our own childhood or adolescence? Would such a memory link us to a beloved life partner or to our children or grandchildren? On the occasion of our 18th wedding anniversary, I decided to gift my husband

with an 18-page photo album, each page representing one year of our lives spent together. Selecting a single photograph from our overstuffed albums to represent each year was challenging enough. Just one image from our entire lives? Indulging in a reflective exercise of this nature is a fascinating way to review our lives to this point and may leave us with the question as to what those people most intimately involved in our lives today would select as their memory of choice. Hopefully such consideration may lead to us re-evaluate how we conduct ourselves and how we relate to others as we try to leave an imprint for goodness in our relationships, families, and communities. Heather Mendel has focalized women’s spirituality groups for the past 15 years. She can be contacted through her website at www.wordartist.com, and also e-mailed at [email protected] or called at 544-4933.

13

• Drink 6-8 tall glasses of pure water every day. Good for you and diminishes hunger.

• Foods are going to be cheaper in season. • Watch for food specials in the Sunday paper to save more money. • The best nutrition comes from raw produce. Better ye buy organic (just 12% more). • The farmers’markets are good sources of food and about the same cost as supermarkets. • Spencer’s is the least expensive overall item for item. Ralph’s was the highest overall. • Locally grown produce is no cheaper in spite of minimal transportation costs. • You can get adequate protein on a vegetarian diet. • Supplements do NOT give you the same nutrition as whole foods. It’s been proven. • It’s the processed foods that eat up your budget.

5 lb. bag white rice

$2.97

1 doz. organic eggs

3.00

4 chicken quarters

2.00

1 lb. calf liver

1.50

1/2 lb. carrots

.35

6 red potatoes

1.00

1 green onion

.69

1/2 lb. green beans

1.00

1 bag Fuji apples

3.00

Subtotal

$14.94

Alternative Produce Items Bunch radishes

.69

4 bunches spinach/bag

2.00

4 bananas

.69

16 oz. raisins

2.00

1/2 papaya

1.49

Other Cheap Sources High Quality Protein Lean beef Cornmeal

$2.39

Nuts: almonds, walnuts

2.00

Seeds: pumpkin, sunflower

.99

Peanut butter

3.39/16 oz.

Beans - kidney, pinto, black

1.29/lb

Mussels, clams

2.50/lb

Miso

.35/cup

Cottage cheese

1.89

Fish, 3.5 oz (fresh cheaper than canned)

3.00

Supplements: Do you really need them? By Marleen Walmsley, Naturopath

We Americans probably have the highest dietary standards on the planet. We have access to just about any food we want. But are we getting enough nutrition? In spite of access to such a variety of foods, we spend about $20.4 billion on dietary supplements annually, yet don’t have the longevity of the Sonora Indians of Mexico, for instance, whose diet consists primarily of corn. - nor the Sherpas or Azurbaijanis, who don’t have much nutritional variety, either, yet are fathering children in their nineties. What is the difference? Stress levels, family unity, long-standing traditions and faith values, and simple lifestyles. They are also in synergy with nature. The critical question is: How do you know if you need supplements at all? This

is my advice: Concentrate on raw, organic foods. Green leafies, fresh fruits, fish and poultry in place of fatty beef. And stay far afield from high-fat, high-sodium and all processed foods as you can. Doing that, it isn’t likely you will need dietary supplements at all. If you do, go for the foodbased. They are bio-available; synthetic ones are not. Organic food is in resonance with Schuman Resonance of 7.83 Hz, the vibrational frequency of the earth. Select a good company: Call the 800 number on the label and ask to speak to the lab. Ask are there are preservatives such as mercury? Is the formula bio-available? What is the percentage of actual nutrients per tablet and how much is “ash”? What follows is a ratings chart of the some of the more popular retail brands.

Brand Name

Label

Rating (-1 – 100+)

Kirkman (Costco)

Kirkman Super Nu-Ther

12.3

Source Naturals

Ultra Multiple

7.5

Nature’s Way

Complete Ultra Energy Multi

17.6

Solaray

Solo Caps

6.2

Avon

Vitadvance Women’s Complete II

5.2

Rite-Aid

WholeSource

6.2

Centrum

Select

4.6

Geritol

Complete

4.2

One-a-day

Advanced Men’s Formula

4.6

Puritan’s Pride

Vita-Min

0.0

Maculitis

Eyeglasses $200

Bilberry $1.07

Source: Comparative Guide to Nutritional Supplements – 2006 by Biochemist Lyle MacWilliams

Marleen Wamsley is a naturopath in Morro Bay. She is host-producer of Healers Who Share, an educational TV program on Ch. 2 for those without health insurance. She writes a global naturopathic newsletter and teaches workshops for medical professionals called New Paradigms In Healing. Contact Marleen at 831-325-7483 or [email protected].

14

CommunityBulletins

Women’sCommunityCenter

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

Volunteer Crisis Intervention Counselors Needed

Family Law Action Committee Dealing With Divorce

Our mission is: • TO maintain an accessible center to collect and exchange information of interest and concern to women • TO organize and facilttate workshops, clinics, seminars, classes and support groups on subjects of interest and need • TO engage in and facilitate interaction among local, state and national agencies and organizations working to benefit women

3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM Upcoming: May 16, June 20 and July 18 Talk with other women who have been there, done that in a supportive, non-judgmental environment. $5 donation

Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic 4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM Upcoming: May 22, June 26 and July 24 Get family law advice from local attorneys and/or paralegals. Reservations required. $25 donation Call 544-9313 for information

Women’s Press presents

Intermezzo EVERY THURSDAY IN JUNE San Luis Obispo Location, $200

A Powerful Process for Reviewing, Re-Envisioning and Re-Creating the Second Half of Life

• Learn innovative techniques to help you re-envision how you want to live the rest of your life • Identify the obstacles and limiting beliefs and behaviors that prevent you from moving forward and living a joyous life • Discover powerful tools that will help you to move more creatively into the future • Experience your personal renaissance by fulfilling undeveloped parts of yourself Beverly Engel, M.F.T., is the bestselling author of 18 self-help books and is an internationally recognized expert in women’s issues and relationships. She has been a psychotherapist and workshop leader for 30 years. Heather Mendel is a spiritual director, calligraphic artist, writer and storyteller. She has facilitated spirituality groups for women for the past 15 years.

For a full description of the weekend and a pre-registration form, go to www.beverlyengel.com or www.womenspress-slo.org or call: (805) 528-7544 Our first Intermezzo Workshop was highly successful. Some participants said that it actually changed their life! Proceeds benefit the Women’s Press.

Sexual Assault and Re-victimization by the Media By Amber Kennedy, Fund Development Coordinator

No one asks to be raped. Ever. Sexual assault is not about sex: it is about asserting power through the use of force, fear, or coercion. Why is it then, that when a woman survives this brutal crime, the questions asked surround her attire, alcohol consumption, relationship to the perpetrator, and previous sexual history? Questions such as these remove the focus and blame from the perpetrator, and place the responsibility on the victim. And often, society questions if the assault occurred at all, perpetuating the myth that women “cry rape.” Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. There is only one person who can prevent a sexual assault from occurring: the perpetrator. Both victim blaming and disbelief continue to revictimize sexual assault survivors, and it is happening in the most public forum we have: the media. Recently, mainstream media has begun referring to survivors of rape and sexual assault as “the accusers” and suspects in the case as “the accused,” implying the perpetrator is the one being victimized. Reporters use “alleged” as a modifier proceeding rape more often than other crimes, such as theft or destruction of property. A survivor’s right to privacy is rarely respected as the story of their intensely personal crime makes the papers, and often the focus of the piece is aggressive retaliation from a perpetrator’s legal counsel, putting the victim on the defense and again shifting blame from perpetrator to victim. When details of the assault are reported, information is often delivered in a way that implies the victim was engaging in consensual activity. It is also common practice for media to lay a victim’s sexual past out for public scrutiny, though it has no bearing on the sexual assault. Note that the perpetrator’s sexual past is rarely mentioned; instead media discusses his wife or children, implying a “family man” could never commit rape. This is not to say that no newspaper, radio, or news station supports the movement to end sexual violence, or respects survivors of rape and sexual assault. However, sexual assault survivors continue to be re-victimized by the blame and skepticism perpetuated by the mainstream media and in turn by society. It is up to us as community members and media consumers to stand up and speak out. Write a letter to the editor next time you see a victim of sexual assault re-victimized on television or in the newspaper. You can change the media and you can make a difference. For more information contact the Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention Center at 545-8888.

Women’s Empowerment & Self-Defense Workshop Maximize your chances of avoiding a sexual assault! The Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention Center proudly offers this fourhour workshop to help empower and protect the women in our community. This workshop will focus on improving your awareness and assertiveness skills, and will teach physical techniques that can help you escape a dangerous situation. Remember – your best weapon is yourself: your mind, your voice, and your body! This free class is open to women of all athletic abilities, ages 12 and up. Beginning and advanced classes are offered. Call 545-8888. For dates and times, please visit http://www.sarpcenter. org/services/defense.htm

Take Action! The Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention (SARP) Center of SLO County is seeking compassionate men and women to work as volunteer crisis intervention counselors/advocates. Volunteers work with teen and adult survivors of sexual assault and abuse, providing support and advocacy either in the office or on our 24hour telephone crisis-line. The CA Statecertified training program will be held July 10th through August 16th on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 5:45 to 10:00pm. More information and applications for the training program may be obtained online at www.sarpcenter.org  or by contacting the SARP Center at 545-8888. Applications must be received by June 29th, 2007.

Community Counseling Center Needs You! Attention all LCSWs and LMFTs: Community Counseling Center is looking for a few good men or women to join our volunteer pool and help us out! We are especially seeking therapists who can see clients in South and North County, but no matter where you live, we need you! We have spaces in which you can see our clients throughout the county. We also are always hoping for more male and Spanish speaking therapists to apply. Our therapy is short term (10 sessions), for uninsured and low income folks with a wide variety of issues. No court-ordered, domestic violence or active substance abusers. What else is there, you ask? We see people for parenting, relationship, life transition, glbt, grief, depression, anxiety issues and more. If you’d like to share your skill as a therapist with someone who could never afford therapy privately, please call Gina @ CCC: 543-7969 or [email protected] for information on volunteering. Community Counseling Center 805.543.7969 [email protected]

YMCA Urges Electronic Equipment Recycling: Computer & TV Recycling & Fundraising Event  Here’s a chance to move along your old computer monitors, laptops and TV’s to raise money for a good cause – while also helping the environment. RES Recycling and Environmental Services, located in San Luis Obispo, has partnered with the San Luis Obispo County YMCA during the month of May to encourage electronic equipment recycling.  During May, for each TV, computer monitor or laptop that is recycled at RES, in the name of the YMCA, RES will pay the YMCA 25% of the recyclable value of electronic equipment.    All the community needs to do is call RES at 541-5865 to schedule a drop-off time at the RES facility and then mention the San Luis Obispo County YMCA when delivering their recyclable electronics. For additional information regarding the recycling fund raiser contact Maria Foster at [email protected] or call her at 543-8235. For more information about the San Luis Obispo County YMCA and the YMCA’s efforts to build strong kids, strong families and strong communities visit www. sloymca.org or call the administrative office at 543-8235. 

CASA Volunteers Needed Help an abused child - become an advocate, volunteer in the office or join the CASA Guild. For information, call 541-6542 or visit www.slocasa.org

Resources

May & June 2007 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press

ABUSE

Adults Molested as Children Support Group (AMAC)



545.8888

Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence



781.6406

North County Women’s Shelter & Resource Center,



(inc. domestic violence support groups) 461.1338



545.8888



545.8888



545.8888



781.6400 www.womensshelterslo.org

Rape Survivors Support Group, SLO

SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & Prevention) Support Group for Sexual Assault Survivors Women’s Shelter Program of SLO

ADDICTIONS AA Meeting



541.3211



498.2176



534.9204



927.1654



Women’s Recovery Home 481.8555



546.1178



Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)

Talk/Listen - Emotional support

Stroke Support Group

Transformations Counseling Center

Caregivers of Stroke Survivors



489.5481



Free monthly workshops 541.7908



471.8102 (SLO)



544.2266 (SLO)

FINANCE/BUSINESS

Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)



534.1101



800.540.2227



544.4883



595.1356 www.mcscorp.org

Consumer Credit Counseling Services Mission Community Services Corporation Women’s Business Partners

Women’s Healthcare Specialists

POLITICAL Code Pink

GAY & LESBIAN



[email protected]



541.4252



Democratic Women United

545.8412; Dawn Williams



438.3889



541.4252



Mostly socializing! Call 474.9405



543.2220



[email protected]

AIDS Bereavement Group (Hospice)



http://www.slo.greens.org 544.1580

Hospice of SLO County



www.ywtf.org

Hospice Partners of the Central Coast

READERS/WRITERS

Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays SOL (Single Older Lesbians)

HOSPICE

Al-Anon



544.2266

Cambria Connection (12 step support)



544.2266 and 434.1164

Casa Solana



782.8608

15

Commission on Status of Women

League of Women Voters NOW (National Organization for Women) SLO Green Party

Younger Women’s Task Force

Adult Literacy



541-4219

AARP 788.2643



549.9656; contact Shirley Powell

781.4275 800.549.7730



Jobline 756.7107



http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com



http://calpolyjobs.org 756.1533

541.3164

Cuesta College

SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance Addictions)



http://www.cuesta.edu Jobline 546.3127

461.6084

The Creekside Career Center

www.slocareers.org 788.2631 or 788.2690

544.1414 (SLO); 748.9070 (Arroyo Grande); 434.2081 (Templeton); 927.4290 (Cambria)

TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)







929.1789

Department of Rehabilitation

549.3361



Computer help: 528.3892

Women for Sobriety





http://www.womenforsobriety.org 215.536.8026

Mission Community Services Corporation Women’s Business Partners



595.1356 www.mcscorp.org



In-Home Support to the Elderly/Homemakers help with ADLs 781.1790 nursing help for the terminally ill 781.5540



www.jobhunt.org 788.2601



544.4347 or 481.1793, [email protected]

Compulsive eaters Anonymous, H.O.W.Concept

JOBS/CAREERS

Drug & Alcohol Services

Cal Poly Foundation

NA Overeaters Anonymous

Cal Poly University



CHILDREN & FAMILIES Childcare Resource Connection



541.2272 or 800.727.2272

Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA)



“A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” 541.6542



781.1847

Children’s Services Network

First 5: Children & Families Commission



781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs

Homeschooling in SLO County (HSC)



462.0726; ask for Barbara

La Clinica De Tolosa 238.5334 La Leche League

Private Industry Council (PIC)

District Attorney’s Office – Victim Witness Center

544.6334 [email protected]



781.5821



free, trained in.home counseling for 60+ 547.7025 ext. 15

Family Law Facilitator



546.3769

SPIRITUAL (OR NOT)



788.2099



544.9313



543.5140

Lawyers Referral Services/Legal Aid Alternative

Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment

995.1390



Sunday service, 10–11 AM; 772.0306



543.9452

MEDICAL SUPPORT/SERVICES



Mondays, 7:30–8:30 PM; 772.0306



227.4785



Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB

534.9234 (LO); 547.3830 (SLO); 226.8669 (Templeton) Caregivers of Early-Stage Alzheimer’s 547.3830, 534.9234 (SLO/Los Osos)

WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS

Pro Per Divorce Workshop Senior Legal Services

ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s Disease)



541.8666; ask for Beth

Alzheimer’s Support



460.9016



781.1600





473.6507



Paso Robles 238.9657



541.9113

EMERGENCY/CRISIS

Senior Peer Counseling



473. 2548

Support for Kids Coping with Domestic Violence

Equal Singles 60+ Meet Monthly





Social Services

Department of Social Services:

782.9200

544.4355 and 466.3444

Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Children)

Computerooters:



Core Mediation Services



Partnership for Children

SENIORS

Adult Day Care

LEGAL

489.9128

MOMS Club of South SLO county

Sisters in Crime

Foster Grandparents.Senior Companions



Migrant Childcare Program

Nightwriters

American Cancer Society

Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support Group

Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Community Central Coast Jewish Historical Society Meditation Group

New Beginnings Church

Homeless Shelter



781-3993



543.4478



461.1338



786.0617



544.9313

549.8989 (crises), 781.6401 (business) www.womensshelterslo.org

Housing Authority North County Women’s Resource Center, Shelter Prado Day Center

Hotline

Arthritis Foundation

Women’s Community Center, SLO

Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP)

Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups

Temporary Restraining Order & Victim Witness Program 781.5821

Caregivers of Aging Parents



EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Endometriosis Association

OTHER WOMEN’S ORGANIZATIONS



www.slohotline.org 800.549.8989



892.5556



545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673)



543.1481 ext. 3 for information



547.3830 (AG); 927.4290 (Cambria); 226.8669 (PR); 547.3830 (SLO)

A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment Problems Today)



www.endometriosisassn.org

Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center



(for breast cancer survivors) 771.8640 www.enhancementinc.com



no or low cost reproductive health services 544.2478 (SLO); 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande)

no or low cost reproductive health services 787.0100 (SLO); 773.4500 (Pismo); 610.8865 (Atascadero)

OTHER GROUPS & GATHERINGS



543.0388

434.2081 or 534.9234 or 800.443.1236

CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics Learning to Live



543.3764

Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)

Enhancement, Inc.

EOC Health Services Clinics

Healthworks of the Central Coast

Women’s Shelter Program of SLO

Altrusa International, Inc.



481.1039; Cici Wynn, President



543.9452



546.3727 www.womenslo.org

Hadassah.SLO

Women’s Network, SLO



542.0577 (SLO) 481.5093 (Grover Beach) 927.1654 (Cambria) 466.8600 (North County)



543.7969





927.3703



785.0132



544.3399 or 783.2383



2nd Monday, 4:00-5:00 pm 782-9300 for info



800.247.7421 or 458.5481



466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton) 481.7424, 473.1714 (Arroyo Grande) 544.1342 (SLO)



SLO 549.9446

Community Counseling Center

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Group

Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of SLO County

Central Coast Peace and Environmental Council

Eating Disorders Support Group

Lymphedema Education & Support Group

Compassion & Choices (formerly Hemlock Society)



546-3774; free, meets weekly in SLO Hospice of SLO County (inc. miscarriage/stillbirth support) 544.2266 or 434.1164 Safe and Sober Support Group



473.6507



free, trained in-home counseling for 60+ 547.7025, ext. 15

Senior Peer Counseling

Parkinson’s Support Groups

Planned Parenthood

Please send additions, corrections or deletions to: [email protected] or leave a message at the WCC: 805.544.9313. Last update 05/02/07.

16

BusinessProfiles

Women’s Press | May & June 2007 | [email protected]

Infinite Dynamics

Are you looking for your core? Trying to improve your posture? Wondering how to push yourself to another level of fitness? Infinite Dynamics is a studio for movement education and therapy. Spacious and airy, it contains the latest equipment and a competent and friendly staff. Training sessions are generally one-on-one, but can also include semi-private sessions and group classes, and are for all ages and abilities. The studio specializes in the exercise systems of Pilates, GYROTONIC, and GYROKENESIS. These systems of exercise focus on the connection between mind and body. Specialized equipment is a part of every session. The studio also offers mat classes. Each individual session is entirely custom, designed for each client’s specific needs. If you have ever struggled in a gym setting, a group class, or in front of an exercise video wondering if you are doing it right, then a one-on-one, hands-on session will be a real revelation. Teresa Spafford first came to the studio as a client suffering with pain and limited feeling in her legs due to a severe back injury. She was unable to do her daily activities. The work at Infinite Dynamics helped her to improve her health and avoid further back surgeries. After years of study, she is now an active certified trainer, and she knows the value of these practices.

“Many people need help in learning how to become pain free in their movements,” she asserts. Nancy Rodgers’ foot injury from running and poor posture were not as debilitating as Teresa’s situation, but the work had powerful applications for her as well, “ I loved learning about optimal movement and knew I wanted to teach this to others. Infinite Dynamics is a great place to learn. Having clients become more comfortable with themselves, whether it is better athletic performance or just daily comfort and strength, is incredibly rewarding.” Infinite Dynamics’ great strength is the custom, noncompetitive nature of the studio and work. Programs are individually tailored to the client’s needs to they leave with more mobility, better balance, and able to do more of what they enjoy. As they progress in mind-body awareness and efficient and therapeutic movements, clients learn more effective ways to move so they feel better and more confident in their bodies. So whatever your goals for yourself may be, Infinite Dynamics can be a positive component of your program. Appointments with Teresa or Nancy can be made Monday-Saturday by calling 805-594-1061 or online @www.infinitedynamics. The website also has a schedule of classes and more information.

QuietStar Presents

Yvonne Roza: Harmonic Healing

Yvonne Roza began practicing the healing arts as a hairdresser. It was her clients who showed her the healing benefits of caring touch, listening, feeling heard, and seeing their own unique beauty. Now retired from hairdressing, she continues her practice but in the medium of energy healing. Through the experience of her own healing, she began a journey of exploring… “anything that Spirit put before me.” That journey began at QuietStar seven years ago, where the relationship continues, holding her healing practice there. “What I like most about the QuietStar concept is that of acceptance…supporting and allowing your own truth to emerge.” Last year she completed Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Course. “I see illness as a ‘dis-chord’ of frequencies. The right sounds, such as toning and crystal bowls, can bring in harmony – mind, body and

W

emotion.” She also completed Harmonic Healing classes with Deena Spear in Ithaca, NY; a unique method of “tuning” energy fields into harmony. “Using Hebrew letters makes Harmonic Healing simple yet powerful and beautiful.” Yvonne doesn’t see herself as a healer, “One must do that for one’s self. Mostly my practice is holding a safe container for someone to do their own healing. I provide sound, caring touch, and visual guidance. You will feel heard – mind, body, & Spirit.” Yvonne also gives workshops in Sound and Harmonic Healing. Upcoming is Power of Toning, May 5. You can reach her at 234-6822 or visit her website: www.vibrationattunement.com.

Contact info: (805) 783-2662 www.quietstar.com/slo.htm

Seeking Writers and Artists

e are seeking content for our July-August issue, the theme of which will be “creative women” in keeping with the Women’s Community Center’s annual fundraiser Day With Creative Women. We would like:

   

Short short fiction (500-750 words) Poetry Photography Art Send to [email protected] or call 474-6444 or 305-9775 DEADLINE: June 11

Announcing the publication of Beverly Engel’s latest book:

www.beverlyengel.com