1834 Revolt Of The Workhouse

A Beckett, Gilbert Abbott The revolt of the

workhouse

THE

REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE, A BURLESQUE BALLET OPERA, IN ONE ACT.

BY

GILBERT ABBOTT A BECKETT, AUTHOR OF "THE KING INCOG.," "THE SON OF THE SUN,"

FIRST

ETC.

PERFORMED

AT THE FITZROY THEATRE, MONDAY, FEBRUARY

24th, 1834.

LONDON:

JOHN MILLER, HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN. 1834.

PR

DRAMATIS PERSONS.

Mahomet Muggins, (Master of the Workhouse}

.

.

,

Mr. MANDERS.

.

Mr. PERRY.

Ismael Skullerack, (Beadle in Chief)

Myssouf Sheepshanks, Araminta, (betrothed

(Cleric to the Establishment)

Mr. HUGHES.

.

Miss CRISP.

to Skullerack)

Amelia, (her companion)

Miss CHAPLIN.

Judy, (a bankrupt Basket Woman)

Mrs. BRINDALL.

Sally Slack, (a pauper Negress)

Mr. OXBERRY.

f a done-up Spratswoman, and Com- 1 Moll Chubb, lmander-in-Chief of the Female > / Revolters

Parish

Officers,

.

.

Mr. MITCHELL.

\

Lords of the Workhouse, Muggins's Body Guard,

Policemen, Privates of the Female Army,

8fc. 8fc.

THE

REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

SCENE The is

to

I.

Workhouse

; through an open arch behind P. s. is a door which leads on the Court-yard; the female ward. MAHOMET MUGGINS is seated on a

interior of the

the

platform, o. p., surrounded by the workhouse

GRAND CHORUS. AIR

("

(Era

On yonder rock

officers.

Diavolo.}

reclining.")

ON yonder chair reposing, Behold our Workhouse King in state Full of wisdom is his pate j Yes, and his power is great. Where'er he pokes his nose in, Vice

flies

:

brow ;

before his angry

And there's none so well knows how To settle a workhouse row. Tremble

!

When

with his cane he's beating, You'll hear their squalls repeating,

Oh, Gemini

!

oh,

Gemini

!

oh,

Gemini

!

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. MUG.

That's right, good folks, I love to hear you sing Songs of affection to your workhouse king Since king I am though my parental sway ;

;

Is only over paupers, let me say, I'm not the only sovereign, I fear,

That

rules o'er

pauper subjects.

OMNES.

Hear

!

Ah

SHEEPS.

(A MUG.

violent ring is

That

ring proclaims there's

Ah

'tis

!

hear

!

heard at the

some one

!

bell.}

at the gate.

our beadle with a broken pate.

(Enter ISMAEL SKULLCRAGK with a patch of blood on

his

temple.)

My worthy Skullcrack, how I grieve to see That broken pate. Why, Lord a mercy me

SKULL.

Where did you get it ? have you had a With any of the filthy vulgar rabble ? As I was walking with my staff in hand

Down

!

squabble

the most crowded quarter of the Strand,

Giving

at intervals official

whacks

To

sundry little urchins, on their backs, I saw a sight which didn't ought to be

MUG.

Speak quickly

SKULL.

A fruit woman exposing her effects For

sale

I took

;

;

what the

and so,

devil did

you

see ?

Sir, as the act directs,

her into custody.

MUG.

'Twas Without a

license

'tis

a crime to

well. sell

;

For, says the law, none shall have chance to live,

Unless they

first

a

sum

in tax

can give.

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. But

if

They

they can't, I see no reason ought to wish to live.

MUG.

But, Skullcrack, let

Come, SKULL.

why

No more

SHKEPS.

Well, as

your

you

9

don't

I.

are from your story led.

tale explain

your broken head. a dame

I said before, I seized

when a cry of "shame !" Burst from the populace, and all there present

Selling of apples,

Began

to pelt

SHEEPS.

SKULL.

It

was

;

me.

Bless me, how unpleasant and then there came a dreadful volley

Of hot baked

taturs.

SHEEPS.

SKULL,

!

Lord,

" Rescue the 'oman

!"

how melancholy

then became the cry

!

;

And cabbage leaves came thick into my eye. The mob at this began to kick and shin me Then all at once the beadle rose within me.

;

My staff I

brandished thus

On every side

MUG.

The

people

fell

And

in the

end

Thy

both right and

a skull or two was

around

my

my

foes

were floored

prisoner secured.

deeds are valiant; well

spoken

left,

cleft

your

(Mmic tale

;

Bas.)

you've

;

Your honour's

your head

whole, although

is

broken.

Tarry with us a while

;

because to-day

SKULL.

The female ward a visit have to pay. The female ward does it ? Egad I'll

MUG.

Go, Sheepshanks, and the

!

!

women

stay.

paupers bring

Into the presence of the workhouse king.

(Exit SHEEPSHANKS, U.E.L.H.)

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

10

can assure you, Skullcrack, they possess Among them a good share of loveliness.

I

But here they come look, be yourself assured, For hither comes the female pauper ward. (Music.) ;

Enter

the whole

FEMALE WARD from

of the

a door on

the left hand.

SKULL. (Aside.) Methinks I know that form is it But by one question I the fact can prove.

my

;

love?

(Aside to ARAMINTA.) Sold you not apples in the Strand last winter ?

ARAM.

I did.

SKULL.

Enough

How Oh,

MUG.

can I'll

beg

for

my Araminta

have a all to

ye

little

!

talk ?

have a walk.

Well, valiant Skullcrack, don't the paupers'

Make one SKULL.

it is

;

I get to

They They So

By By

are, indeed, dear creatures

are too

much

;

but,

by

?

goles,

the pretty souls

me beg, by all my triumphs past, checks on omnibuses going too fast, informations laid against late hours

let

At public-houses I

confined

charms

arms

disposed to seek their precious

by

in fact, the powers,

wish to ask a favour.

MUG.

Cut along, I'll

grant

We like

it,

Mr. Skullcrack,

Quelling, in church, the

A man,

right or

a beadle knowing what he's in fact,

And breaks

little

who walks

wrong. after,

urchin's laughter.

the streets in doubt,

a head to find a mystery out

;

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. Who, in a crowd, SKULL.

belabours right and

11

left,

So making sure the proper head is cleft. I'm glad you think I do my duty right,

was always my a holiday I seek: For the whole female ward. For cracking

But

skulls

delight.

my request

MUG.

me

Mind what you how you're able.

speak.

SKULL.

Grant

MUG.

Let your petition lie upon the table But who are these approach our Workhouse board

the boon if any

Enter SHEEPSHANKS, u. SHEEPS.

The new

Come You'll

E. L. H.

additions to the female ward.

MOLLY CHUB, JUDY, and SALLY SLACK.

Enter AMELIA,

SKULL.

?

who are you all ? But the first thing, make your court'sies to the Workhouse

forth

!

(they do so.)

king.

That's right

!

now, what comes next

stop, let

?

me

see

Ah

!

now down on your marrow-bones

to

me.

(they do so.)

That public justice may be well protected, 'Tis right her officers should be respected.

Down

! So, you paupers, hark obeisances to yonder Clerk.

to the lowest

Pay your

(They commence doing not so

Stop In rank; to

much

me you

as that fell

;

!

so with great humility.)

there are degrees

upon your knees

12

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

A

gentle

bow

for

Difference,

him

there

think, 'twixt

I

is

a leedLe

workhouse clerk and

beadle.

(They low

Ah

!

that will do.

Ask you some

slightly to

The governor

questions,

MUG. Approach your names MOLLY. Moll Chubb! Amelia AMEL. !

SHEEPSHANKS.)

will

now

don't forget to bow. inform me in a crack.

!

JUDY.

Judy

!

Sally Slack!

SALLY.

MUG.

How

come you here

to lay

your lazy heads

Tri luxury upon the parish beds ? Moll Chubb, speak first What were you out of

doors

MOLLY. What was SKULL.

?

why a woman,

I ?

the master wants to

MOLLY.

MUG. AMEL.

Calling

Now

then, Amelia,

tell

me

!

know

why

sprats, ho f

what were you

Your worship, I've been in the I was an oyster girl, and had a At a

MUG.

in course.

sir,

No insolence What was your calling. !

?

fish line, too stall

very near St. Paul. Your bus'ness did not thrive, I fear. street corner,

Oh Lord

AMEL.

!

daily round my board Both great and little, rich and poor, did throng,

Indeed

MOLLY.

it

did

;

for,

Demolishing the natives all day long. Poor things, I wonder no one e'er admonished 'em. Eating the natives must have so astonished 'em.

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. MUG. AMEL.

you, woman Now, my dear, sad reverses brought you here. 'Gainst an attorney's door my stall, sir, stood,

Keep

silence, can't

Tell

me what

And

so they drove

!

me

off.

Ah

MUG.

You know, my MOLLY. OMNES.

MUG.

No, that

child,

wasn't

it

it

was

!

very good

;

against the law.

'twas against the door.

Ha, ha, ha as

Now, Judy,

you

call yourself,

me the reason why you What was your bus'ness ?

!

by name,

hither came.

Tell

JUDY.

13

Bus'ness, did you say with corresponding pay, Nothing, at last When times was good, I had been used to stand At market, with my basket in my hand,

?

;

To

carry fruits and flowers from Covent Garden

But, Lord

There

;

the season has been such a hard un,

!

ar'nt

no vegetables now

to

fill

A basket for my head. About you

MOLLY.

You have some

What

JUDY.

MOLLY. Why, ma'am, a

still

vegetables.

little

And though

reddish

is

are those ?

your nose

;

basket on the top, you've got head of carrots bears a precious crop.

JUDY.

Your With your If

MUG.

my

nose

vile insolence is

my

blood you churn up, is a turn-up.

a reddish, your's, ma'am,

you women stop your noisy clack word with Mrs. Sally Slack. How came you to the workhouse? what were you? I was a lady, Silence,

Let's have a

SALLY.

110

!

!

14

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

MOLLY. SALLY.

Come, Indeed

And

was

I

called out

My time

SALLY.

wont

that

bellowed "sprats"

do.

all night,

" hareskins" by the morning

light,

my evening bawls, my morning calls.

dividing 'twixt

Like other

MUG.

I

;

ladies,

and

But of your coming here, explain the reason. Your honour, hares and sprats is out of season. In March, you get no hares, but when you go out, And find old Boreas giving of a blow out,

MUG. SKULL.

Then I get airs enough, but not the kind Of hares that I must have to raise the wind. Enough you're members of the workhouse now, And mind you never kick up any row. But my petition may the women go To take a little walk ? now don't say no. !

MUG.

Well, as I'm in good humour,

SKULL.

Long

live the

sir,

they may.

workhouse king hurra !

!

OMNES.

Hurra! (Dance.

Scene

SCENE An

Apartment

closes.)

II.

in the

Workhouse.

Enter ARAMINTA.

ARAM.

'Tis Ismael Skullcrack

He

takes

it all,

fills

alone

my

and love has got the

breast

;

rest.

In vain does Mahomet Muggins urge his suit Compared with Ismael, Mahomet is a brute.

About the

latter, there's I

don't

'Tis not the lace that glitters

on

know

what,

his hat

THE BEVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

15

'Tis not the staff he carries in his hand, is

(His salary

good, I understand.)

But, hence with worldly thoughts

Good

gracious me

!

I love

oh,

none are above him

!

how

I love

him

:

!

SONG. AIR

"

{From GUSTAVUS) I love

Hove him

how

him

him

I love

how Hove him

Oh, mine I hope he soon Muggins, who is above him, Is smaller far to me.

will be

He stands I

/"

!

five feet, by measure want no greater treasure

!

:

:

To see him

And

ask

is

a pleasure,

him out

Deep, deep in

The

my

to tea.

breast I conceal

fierce flame that heats

Ne'er, ne'er e'en to

him

shall

me

my

;

lips reveal

All the love that I feel.

The

voice of prudence I obey

me hide his name, And only by myself I say It bids

I love

him

how

I love

him

!

&c.

(Exeunt.)

SCENE

A

Washing Room

in the

On

in the centre.

III.

Workhouse, with an enormous pump s. side is a door leading to the

the P.

FEMALE WARD on the 0. P., a door leading to the Apart ments of the Governor. The female paupers are discovered ;

washing, and throwing about the soap-suds.

CHORUS OF PAUPERS. What's equal, on

When

earth, to a lark in the wash-tub,

the stream from the

pump

does so shiningly flow j

16

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. To pelt one another with towels and brushes, Or backwards and forwards the soap-suds to throw

Oh

!

!

this is a pleasure so novel to paupers,

For health in our gambols is sure to be found Whilst sporting about in the depths of the wash-tub, We have some fine fun, and a washing all round.

A

lark

!

for a lark

&c.

!

MOLLY. Ladies and paupers we have all been splashing About in this here sink, to have a washing !

bad we

It is too

Wash SALLY.

Nor

I

us, !

be reduced to

e'er should

indeed

for

!

my

hard that into water

'tis

it.

I'm not used

part,

to

it.

chilly,

We should be plunged, good ladies, willy nilly. Why should these people wish the plan to spoil, For the allotment of the barren Because,

if dirt

JUDY.

You'd have a whole

MOLL.

I

only

know

soil ?

but constituted lands

I will

estate

upon your hands

not stand this sort

!

o'

Subjection to a drench of soap and water They soap us first and when they closer gather us, !

;

Who JUDY.

knows but they may

'Tis not the

But

'tis

the food

look at our

'Twas half-an-ounce,

The very

JUDY.

Ah

to lather us ?

last night's tea

!

I'm assured, the whole female ward

!

make one shiver was pure new river

thought's enough to

Tea, did you say ? zounds,

MOLL.

want

ladies, as

Four-shilling black, for

SALLY.

also

washing that displeases me,

it

without compunction, 'Twas nothing but a cup of neat Grand Junction. I cannot drink such rubbish for my part, !

that, indeed, I'd say,

;

Their tea seems just one sloe leaf to a quart.

!

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. MOLLY. Come,

away, our private chamber seek, word in all your ears to speak.

let's

I've got a

ARAM.

AMEL.

ARAM.

(Exeunt all but ARAMINTA and AMELIA.) I'm glad you've staid behind, for I have seen Something superior about your mien,

And wish Do you ?

make a confidante of you. then pray don't hesitate, but do You've seen the beadle ? to

AMEL.

Yes Is

!

I think his

name

Ismael Skullcrack.

Ah

ARAM. That

gallant being loves me,

To cause

that from the

Will you

assist

!

Yes you can

Then,

to

Aia

"

should

fly.

there

a talk

is

a walk

;

flee.

come and lodge with me

?

Come, dwell with me."

Come, lodge with me,

And

I

to .have

Ismael Skullcrack

if I do, you'll

SONG.

he'll try

Workhouse

That the whole female ward's If so,

the very same.

and

me ?

AMEL.

ARAM.

17

come, lodge with me,

our home shall be, our home shall be

A nice

two-pair in some open square,

Perhaps

at

No. 2 or

3.

My taste would be a second floor, Above the

people's din

and roar

;

The people, as they walk below, Would not disturb us with their row. Come, lodge with me, &c.

Enter

the

SHEEPS. I've got

MOLLY. Yes,

Female Paupers and SHEEPSHANKS. news; so, silence hark have order for the Workhouse clerk

official

let's

!

!

?

18

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

JUDY.

But what's

SHEEPS.

How

can

news

all to

Is

?

take a

She

sha'n't

JUDY.

you

talk ?

little

she's to stay.

!

We do

JUDY. SALLY.

if

Muggins says you may walk to-day,

Excepting Araminta

OMNES.

the promised walk ?

it

you, women,

great Mr.

'Tis thus

Go

his

I tell

not

stir

one step without her.

And we're prepared to play the deuce about Go without Araminta? what a whim

her.

!

can Araminta be to him

Why, what SHEEPS. Those are

my

orders

?

you've but to obey.

;

MOLLY. Then march your body

off

!

I'm gone.

SHEEPS.

MOLLY.

Away

!

(Exit SHEEPSHANKS.)

ARAM.

What's

JUDY.

We do not stir without you

be done

to

go, take

?

No, not one

OMNES.

ARAM.

your walk alone.

!

Then

I'll

go too

SONG.

ARAMINTA.

INVITATION SONG.

{From Gustavus.)

Fair dames, to you I bring a pretty invitation to a thing You'll like the promised walk we are to take to-day ;

At

least,

So

let

us

In the

the beadle told

come

at

Delighted !

to say.

;

streets of first-rate reputation,

We shall go out soon Oh

me so

once away

all I

what a

am

our pranks to play

sure you'll be.

treat to use

our feet

Along the Strand or Regent-street

Through the Squares, where,

;

in pairs,

Dandies and coquettes we meet

;

!

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

19

To pace the Quadrant round and round, Or wander by St. Giles's pound, Or, with our sparks, through the parks,

To walk about and have our

Oh what !

a

larks

treat,

!

&c.

Where, Shall

we find means

(Tlie Stage

in this dreadful hour,

to deal with Workhouse power?

instantly covered with

is

beadles'

and each pauper seizes one; they throw them about in a martial way, and go through

staves,

a

war

Enter SHEEPSHANKS, who, and returns with Po

dance.

seeing the staves, exits,

as he comes in, the staves turn to brooms,

lice

and they all SHEEPS.

Hollo, here

MOLLY. Cleaning

!

begin sweeping.}

what's the row

What

?

are

ye

SHEEPS.

Is

But don't about the yard But use your brooms

MOLLY.

it

only that

?

so wildly rush,

I think

(MoLL CHUBB

you'd better brush

seizes him, takes

arms, and puts him into the

him up tub.

SCENE Street in

IV.

London.

Enter ISMAEL SKULLCRACK.

As

I

was just now walking down the dirty boy I chanced to meet

A little

;

!

in her

Paupers

form a phalanx round him with beadles'

SKULL.

at ?

the court-yard.

street,

staves.)

20

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. And "

as

he looked

Flare-up

The

at

me

with searching eye,

he shouted with stentorian cry!

.'"

circumstance, though

But soon

met another

I

with an air that

Who,

others

did annoy

;

boy,

my

still

Cried "fare-up."' too

And

trifling,

little

senses bothers,

and then there came two

;

these, as I'd just raised

cane to lare-up,

my

Slipped from me with a louder cry of" flare up In fact, from every one I chanced to meet, " Flare was still the the street

up"

What can

cry along

mean

such omens

!"

!

horrors like these

?

Announc'd the cackling of the Roman

geese.

I'm sure there's something awful in the wind I cannot see before 1 dare not look behind

:

;

I'm sharp for action boisterous

Down,

These words, "

And

bosom

flare

up

bid

me

I

go

do't,

must

;

cool, blood of the beadle.

!" still

ring in both

gives mysterious strength to

They I'll

sharper than a needle

and though

I will

I

all

my

my ears,

fears

my heart

;

tear up,

it

ought to "flare up!" (Exit.}

Enter MUGGINS.

MUG.

I

Surely

My

heard some noise

brain's

on

fire

my

where pulse

shall I

beats

go

?

fast,

then

slow!

Am I, the master of the

workhouse, Lord

Or am

the female

With

I

vanquished by

calling out police,

Police

!

police

Last night

I

!

my

I'm

now

quite hoarse.

salary for the force

dreamt a dream

?

ward ?

could

it

!

be true

?

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

21

(Enter SHEEPSHANKS unperceived.)

who the devil's that ? O, is it you ? O, Sheepshanks, how you startled me. But now, Say, Caitiff, quickly, what has been the row

Stop

!

!

SHEEPS.

Great

Dog And

was

Sir, as I

sleep over

my

sitting in

a

sort o'

half-pint of porter,

blowing of returns a gentle cloud, I heard some voices talking very loud.

MUG. SHEEPS.

Loud voices? how went and saw

tremble

but proceed.

!

What was

MUG. SHEEPS.

I

I

The paupers

all

it

you seed ?

that

with each a beadle's

me

staff!

MUG.

I

SHEEPS.

For half-and-half proceedings 'tis no season We must be prompt the females plot vile treason

MUG.

Explain

droop

!

fetch

a pint of half-and-half

!

;

!

!

what saw ye afterwards ?

SHEEPS.

O, then, I

went and fetched two of our

ablest

men,

Expecting from the staves to get a drubbing we found them with their birch-brooms But, lo ;

!

scrubbing

MUG.

!

Then, seizing me, they soused me in the tub And scrubb'd you with their brooms ?

SHEETS.

Aye, there's the rub.

But waste no time,

MUG.

!

the

And,

I believe, it is their

Then

let's

be after them

Quick, to pursuit

!

ward

is

in revolt,

plan to bolt.

my

soul

Here, Cab

!

is

are

fired

!

you unhired ? (Exeunt.)

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

22

SCENE St.

Paul's

by

Moonlight Tliree

Groups asleep

SKULLCRACK

stands

V.

Female Paupers discovered Boys with baked Potatoes in

enters to music, "

in tin

my Dar

Slumber

ling."

SKULL.

Ah

!

here

my lovely Araminta

lies,

Sleep has unclosed her mouth, and shut her eyes. I'll snatch a kiss before she wakes yet, lo !

;

Love whispers yes, and honour answers no Between them both, I don't know what to do. She wakes let honour then my love subdue. ARAM. (Waking and coming forward.) What are you at? !

I

hope you've not been rash. SKULL.

I

would

not, for the world,

But hark

ARAM.

Begone

ARAM. SKULL.

abash

!

!

One

SKULL.

You

my love

!

won't

!

I'm

off!

kiss before

we

sever.

adieu, perhaps for ever

The time will come, when you may need me Then what ? perhaps I

Why,

may

;

!

then

look in again

!

(Exit)

(The Female Paupers go through evolutions Dance Then enter Police with MUGGINS and

SHEEPSHANKS

at

vances to address

their

head.

MUGGINS ad

Female Paupers.)

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE.

23

Ye female paupers, is it any use Of me to ask a temporary truce ? MOLLY. We cannot answer that until we knows What measures you are ready to propose. MUG. What do you want ? MUG.

MOLLY. MUG. Woman, your

MUG.

than four days old. !

?

say.

want, old chap, lump sugar in my tay ! moist you ought to Lump sugar monstrous I

!

jump If

MOLLY.

less

what are your other wishes

But speak, JUDY.

Bread

proposition's very bold

you

We

at

!

;

don't like

it,

you yourselves may lump

it

!

cannot hear these insults to the ward.

Ladies, to arms

let

!

the police be floored

!

engagement takes place between the Police

(An

and Paupers, in which

the latter are triumphant.)

Enter SKULLCRACK. SKULL.

Come, (To

let these

the peace

MUG.

Well, be

And

shocking

Have

the audience.)

it

so

civil conflicts cease.

I the

power

to preserve

? ;

let

workhouse struggles end,

the beadle be the paupers' friend Conciliation now is all the go, let

Therefore

;

promise, if you don't say no, bread the second day, and cheese In any quantity the ladies please.

Lump

I'll

sugar,

And though their Still let

them

rise,

rising of revolt

each night

may

savour,

in public favour.

24

THE REVOLT OF THE WORKHOUSE. FINALE.

GRAND CHORUS. AIR" Finale to the Hail

With

!

all hail

!

Firt Act of Gustavus."

to our

shouts we'll

workhouse king

make

!

the court-yard ring

!

All you female paupers, sing live the

Long

king

!

Hail to Mr. Muggins,

The workhouse joy and His name

glory

;

we'll shout for ever,

Rever'd in paupers' story

!

Blessings on old Mr. Muggins, the place be his for ever

May

!

Long

(MUGGINS

king

!

men ; upon the shoulders of two scene till shout and closes.) surround him,

is

the rest

live the

lifted

Cross. Harjette aud Savill, 107, St. Martin's Lane, Charing

PR 4000 A34R4

A Beckett, Gilbert Abbott

The revolt of the workhouse

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