10 Rules Of Hindi Movie

10 rules of hindi movies 1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the real bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule). 2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will - die - join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie. 3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers). 4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection my lord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled. 5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide. 6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot. 7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never - miss - run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule), or run out of bullets. 8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of - pots - barrels - glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces. 9. Any movie involving lost & found brothers will have a song sung by - the brothers - their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax) - the family dog/cat. The amazing thing is that these folks remember the song after 20 years in the movie, and you can't remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the theatre. 10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories: - Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed by the villain before the titles. - Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in rule), saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero. - The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.

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Computers and Bollywood 1. Interview = Muqabla 2. Result of Interview = Kadwa Sach 3. An employee who fails to get visa = Hero Hindustani 4. Visa = Border 5. A system infected by virus = Pyar to Hona Hi Tha 6. Anti virus Kit = Soldier 7. System without RAM = Kora Kagaz 8. Temporary file = KhotTemporary file = Khote Sikkey 9. A system which frequently requires bootable disk = Sharabi 10. A computer for the virus = Piya Ka Ghar 11. Hard disk vsFloppy Disk = Gharwali Baharwali 12. CD = Gol Maal 13. Boss having less knowledge than employee = Baap Numbary Beta Dus Numbary 14. Windows 95 = Bade Dilwala 15. Windows NT = Badi Behen 16. Windows 2000 = Nai Umar ki Nai Fasal 17. Undelete = Naya Jivan 18. Project incharge = Mohra 19. An employee who falls in love during his posting In foreign country = Love in Tokyo 20. An employee who left the job without informing = Nau Do Gyarah 21. Mail Merge in MS Word = Sangam 22. Server = Mahaan 23. Sister concern = Judwaa 24. Hate Mail = Sholay 25. Spam mail = Barsat 26. Spam Mail in one night = Barsat Ki Ek Raat 27. Fire wall = Kaanch Ki Deewar 28. Job hunting = Talaash 29. Boss say to employees when asked for increment = Kuch Kuch Hota Hain 30. An employee who works sincerely = Dil Se 31. An employee who is ready to leave his job = Doli Saja Ke Rakhna 32. A project having two projects leaders = Ek Phool Do Mali

33. An employee without accommodation = Pardesi Babu 34. Password = China Gate 35. Super User Password = Gupt 36. An employee who sticks to a company for more than Three years = Amar Prem 37. Bill Gates = Humse Badhkar Kaun 38. Microsoft Corporation = Ustadon Ke Ustad 39. Group Leader = Khal Nayak 40. Backup = Jagte Raho 41. MS DOS and IBM DOS = Ram Aur Shyam 42. PC Clones = Shyam Tere Kitne Naam 43. Dos & Windows = Do Raaste 44. Apple Macintosh = Akeyla 45. Amiga Commodore = Ant 46. NRI = Door Ka Rahee 47. F1 = Guide 48. Internet = Door Gagan Ki Chhav Mein 49. Operator v/s computer = Main Khiladi Tu Anadi 50. Termination letter = Aakhri Khat 51. Explanation called by boss = Mohan Joshi Hazir Ho 52. Employee to Manager = Hum Aapke Hai Kaun 53. Asking system admin for a forgotten login password = Hamara Dil Aapke Paas Hai 54. Project nearing completion = Ab Dilli Door Nahin 55. Unemployed = Aadmi Sadak Ka 56. Someone who refuses top accept overseas assignments = Desh Premee 57. NRI feeling homesick = Aaa Ab Laut Chalen 58. Software piracy = Chori Mera kaam Hai 59. Giving login password to some one = Humraaz 60. Unknown user = Gumnaam 61. System Administrator = Chowkidaar 62. Programmer trying to be an analyst = Chala Murari Hero Banane 63. Candidate who gets the job = Jo Jeeta Wo Sikander 64. Linux = Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin 65. Hacker = Chuppa Rustam 66. Repeat Hacker = Hum Nahin Sudharenge 67. Crap programmer = Budalbaaz 68. Trying to locate who wrote the original code = Jab Yaad Kisi Ki Aati Hai

69. Oracle v/s Microsoft = Jaani Dushman 70. Project Manager = Ponga Pandit 71. Computer Network = Kacche Dhage 72. World wide web = Jaal 73. NRI deported back to India = Kaala Paani 74. Fired for someone else's mistakes = Shaheed 75. Cobol Programmer = Buddha Mil Gaya 76. Manager = Saas Bhi kabhi Bahoo Thi 77. Standards = Parampara 78. Documentation = Ardh Satya 79. Cubicle where you work = Yeh Gulistan Hamara 80. Login Screen = Darwaza 81. Running Dos application in Windows 2000 = Bees Saal Baad 82. Software Training Class = Aandhee 83. Software Training Course = Aandhee Toofaan 84. Remembering good old main frame days = Yaadon Ki Baraat 85. IBM = Mughal-E-Azam 86. System Crash = Aakhir Kyon 87. Project meeting after an application crash at a major site = Apradhi kaun 88. Restore from Backup failed = Soonee Yaaden 89. Person on help desk in graveyard shift = Akele Hum Akele Tum 90. Project manager after a failed project = Dekh Kabira Roya 91. Apprentice Programmer = Shagird 92. Programmer who learnt on his own = Junglee 93. Java = Naya Daur 94. Documentation Writer = Kaamchor 95. Pay Slip = Sabse Bara Sukh

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